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#what about making up unrealistic scenarios in the shower and before going to sleep
acrid-ghoul · 7 days
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Chokehold ⛧˚ · .
i’d turn my walls to gold / to bring you home again
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summary: don’t let ur dreams be dreams (also be careful about where ur jorkin it)
cw: SMUT - MDNI, price + ghost x f!reader, getting caught, threesome, oral -f!receiving, unprotected p in v, double penetration, creampie???? ig??????, prob unrealistic scenarios but fuck if we ball
a/n: GHOUL’S BAAAAAACK and finally inspired to finish this!! kinda lazy writing but idk i had fun and it’s v self-indulgent. pls enjoy :3
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After a long day of training with your captain and your lieutenant, the three of you turn in for the evening. The sleeping arrangements at the base were a bit messy at the moment, so Price and Ghost opted to share a room to allow you to have some space for yourself.
“We’re right next door if ya need anything, doll,” they’d say, before offering you a nod and disappearing into their quarters. That’ll be the last you’ll hear from either of them until the morning sun rises and you’re making your way to the mess hall.
Well, usually.
Tonight’s different than most. Normally you’d shower and pass out immediately upon hitting the pillow after such rigorous and unforgiving training, but no matter what you do you just can’t seem to settle down. There’s a heat growing in your body, mainly accumulating near your lower stomach. You writhe, squeezing your legs together to try and alleviate it a bit.
But it’s not enough.
Thoughts of your captain and lieutenant flood your mind. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t attracted to them, but you’ve always done your best to keep it at bay. Tonight, though…
It wouldn’t hurt to indulge a bit, right? Just enough to calm yourself down and allow you to sleep. No harm, no foul.
Right?
Your hand slips beneath the waistband of your panties, rubbing your already soaked core slowly as you imagine the two men, their strong hands exploring your body. You imagine yourself in Ghost’s lap, his hands teasing your chest while Price leaves small marks on the insides of your thighs.
You moan, wiggling your hips closer toward his face, aching for his lips to touch you.
“Ah-ah,” Ghost would say, pinching your nipple just a bit more tightly to cause you to yelp. “Let us take our time, yeah?”
Whining, you melt into their embrace. The gentle caresses and sloppy kisses bringing you closer and closer to the edge. You moan, feeling your body tense as you start to orgasm.
A knock on your door pulls you from the fantasy, your release immediately ruined. You look at the clock: 2AM.
Who could possibly need you at this hour?
Quickly cleaning yourself up you pull on some shorts and head to the door, opening it to find the two objects of your desire standing in your doorway.
“Everything okay?” you ask, trying not to sound too out of breath. You study their faces, but their expressions give nothing away.
Ghost and Price glance at one another, prolonging the silence. The air in the room feels uncomfortable, and your blood begins to run cold.
You don’t think..?
“Just wanted to check on ya,” Price says after clearing his throat. “Heard some noises that were a bit…” He trails off.
Oh my god.
“Nope, everything’s good! Don’t worry,” you lie, your blood-red face absolutely giving you away. “Thanks for checking on me, though. Goodni—“
You go to close the door, but a large hand stops it. Ghost’s. He peers over the captain’s shoulder, staring into your soul.
“We heard it all, love,” he admits in a gruff tone. “Walls ‘ere are a bit thin, if y’hadn’t noticed.”
You groan, releasing the door and hiding your face in your hands. “Listen, it’s not what it sounded like,” you begin, only to be cut off my a deep chuckle. Price removes your hands from your face, exposing your flushed cheeks. He smiles down at you.
“Oh?” he asks. “Not what it sounded like, hm? See, to us it sounded like you were getting off to the thought of your superiors having their way with you. But by all means, correct me if I’m wrong, princess.”
Your mouth falls open, stuttering as you try to form excuses but nothing seems to stick. You settle on groveling, apologizing and asking them not to report you.
“Report you?” Ghost lets out a small laugh. “Darlin’, we’re here to help you.” Price nods in agreement, both of them looking at you expectantly.
“Help…me..?” It takes a moment for your mind to catch up to the situation at hand, slowly processing what’s just been said to you. When you realize what they’re proposing, your eyes widen. “Wait, you don’t have to—“
Price holds up a hand, cutting your protest short. “Why settle for your imagination when the real thing is directly in front of ya?” he asks, a smug grin plastered on his face. His eyes are dark, hungry, and you feel like you’re being devoured where you stand.
And you love it.
Sheepishly you nod, stepping aside and allowing the two to enter. Locking the door behind them, they make their way into the room. You stand there for a moment, looking at your feet and tugging at the hem of your sleep shirt. Sure, you’ve fantasized about this countless times. But handling things in a fantasy versus in real life? You were absolutely not prepared.
“S’matter?” Price asks, stepping forward and cupping your face. “Don’t get all shy on us now.”
Ghost hums in agreement, moving behind you to grasp at your hips. “Don’t be embarrassed, love. Y’sounded so pretty before. Make those sounds for us again, yeah?” He nuzzles his face into your hair, slowly slipping his hands underneath your shirt to graze your skin.
Your breath hitches in your throat.
“Sensitive, are we?” Price teases. “Good.” The captain move his hands from your face, trailing them down your arms to replace the warmth of Ghost’s previous grasp on the plush of your lower body.
Ghost moves your hair from the nape of your neck, leaving gentle kisses there that cause you to shiver. You can feel his breathy chuckle against your skin as you react so beautifully to his touch. Each little jolt, each tiny whimper… It was intoxicating to him.
In front of you, Price’s breath quickens. He takes in your form, only seeing you in casual clothing once or twice. This is different, however. Your nighttime clothing leaves little to the imagination. Your hardened nipples are clearly visible through the thin shirt, as if begging for some sort of attention, while the fat of your ass spills out from the underside of your tiny shorts. You’ve never really minded being scantily clad in the comfort of your own room, but the heated gazes you’ve found yourself sandwiched between leave you feeling more exposed than you’ve ever felt before.
“Need t’ taste your lips,” Price breathes, moving his hands back to your face to pull you closer toward him. Even standing on your toes, Price has to lean down a bit further just to brush your mouth with his own. “Can I, dove?” Teasingly his tongue slips past his mouth, tracing lightly against your bottom lip before returning to where it belongs.
“Please—” Your answer spills out as whine. Any attempts to hold yourself together were completely dissolved as soon as your face was near Price. He smells of smoke and earth, and the combination makes your head spin. At the sound of your acceptance he closes what little gap is left between you. Price works your mouth slowly, relishing in every moan and whimper he catches with his tongue. Wrapping your arms around his neck you attempt to deepen this kiss, but the height discrepancy between the two of you makes the task nearly impossible.
With a wry chuckle Price hoists you up by your thighs, wrapping your legs around his waist. At this height, you’re able to press further into him. Behind you, however, Ghost lets out a disgruntled sigh. Thanks to the change in position, the poor lieutenant’s hands were ripped from where they resting juuuust beneath your breasts. He’s the sort of man to take his time, and god was he enjoying the sounds he was able to pull from you when his rough fingers grazed your skin.
“Sorry, Simon,” Price grunts between kisses, “Got a bit carried away.” Noticing the irritated look on his friend’s face he breaks the kiss, nipping your lip before moving to set you down on your bed.
Price moves out of the way, allowing Ghost space to remove your bottoms. In one quick motion he rids you of your shorts and panties, spreading your thighs so the both of them can take you in properly.
“Christ,” Ghost whispers. “Y’got this wet just from kissing him?”
“Or were you already this wet when y’opened the door? Maybe you’d we’d hear you and come over, hm?” Price breathes in heavily, licking what’s left of your kiss from his lips as he kneels down next to Ghost. “I imagine you taste divine…”
“Oi,” Ghost chides. “Who said you get to go first? Don’t be greedy, old man. You already got to kiss her.” Ghost’s rubs his thumb slowly along your pelvis, inching ever closer to your clit without actually touching it directly. Your hips squirm in anticipation.
Price chuckles, nudging Ghost’s shoulder playfully. “Now, now — don’t get your feelings hurt, lad. Let your captain show y’how it’s done.” He leans down, tongue out as his breath fans across your slick pussy. Just as he’s about to make contact, Ghost pushes him aside. You groan, throwing your head back as the two continue to bicker.
After a moment, the urge to devour you becomes too strong. Silently, Price and Ghost come to an agreement.
They’ll go at the same time.
You look down, confused, as the two men squeeze their large bodies between your thighs, each throwing a leg over their shoulder.
“What’s—” You begin to question the strange setup but your words are cut short by a choked whine as Ghost’s mouth encloses over your aching clit while Price’s tongue teases its way into your core. The room is filled with a symphony of moans from the three of you, both Ghost and Prices losing themselves in your taste. The only time their mouths leave you is to switch positions; Price sucking and nibbling on your clit as Ghost’s tongue mercilessly abuses your sopping hole.
“W-wait—!” The stimulation is overwhelming, and you can feel yourself coming undone quickly. “I— I can’t, S’too much, I’m—”
Ghost shoves two fingers inside you in response, moving in tandem with his tongue as Price’s hand finds its way beneath your shirt to play with your nipples. They knew you were close; they could tell by the way your legs kept trying to close as they held you open. All you could do is lie there and take it, biting your first to muffle your cries as your orgasm rips through you.
Reluctantly they pull away, their faces drenched in your slick as they both try to catch their breath. You sit up, clawing at Price’s belt to free his very visible erection. The longer you wait, the more your body craved them. The only thing on your mind now is them fucking you senseless.
You fumble with the buckle, hands shaky as you’re coming down from your high. The struggle makes Price laugh and he gently moves your hands away.
“Y’want it, sweetheart?” He groans, removing his belt and trousers quickly. The sight of his hard cock trapped inside his boxers forces another whimper from you. “Y’gotta ask for it, then. Tell me what y’want...” Pulling down his waistband he springs free. He’s far thicker than you’d ever imagined, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little apprehensive.
Only a little, though.
“C’mon…” Price rubs himself between your folds, collecting the remnants of your cum on his cock. He begins teasing your hole with his tip, sliding it in just enough to stretch you out slightly. “You can do it, dove. Tell us how bad y’want us to ruin you.”
“Y’want us as bad as we want you, yeah? Need t’hear it…” Saying that, Ghost climbs into the bed next to you. He’s rid himself of his own clothes as he begins to pepper your face in hot, sloppy kisses. You can feel his own arousal pressing into your side.
“Pleasepleasepleaseruinme.” Your words run together; they’ve rendered you a bumbling mess solely from eating you out, so imagine how you’ll feel they’ve fucked you. The thought alone makes your pussy clench. “Need it s’bad. ‘Ve dreamt about it…”
Price plunges into you at your admission while Ghost stifles your moans with his mouth.
Giving you little time to adjust to his size, your captain begins to pound into you without abandon. Each time his hips meet yours you cry out, Ghost swallowing each delectable yelp of pleasure you give him.
“Tha’s it,” Price coos. “Feels good, eh? Jus’ look at the way this gorgeous pussy sucks me in.” He slows his pace, grinding up into your deepest parts. He knows you should be quiet, he does, but each time he hits deeper you make the sweetest sounds he’s ever heard. You can’t blame him for wanting to push the limits, can you?
Your body tightens in a familiar way; your release is building again and you can tell it’s going to be one of the best you’ve had. Just as you think you’re about to break, Price’s cock is gone and you’re left empty and wanting.
Before you can protest at the loss of pleasure, your body is shifted to where your back is against Ghost’s chest.
“Y’up for a challenge?” Ghost’s painfully hard erection rests between your thighs now, twitching slightly with each shift of your hips. He’s comparable to Price in size, and absolutely not at all what you’d been expecting. “Be a good girl and take us both, yeah? Wanna feel you come on our cocks while we fill you to the brim.” Price grunts lowly in agreement as he positions himself back between your legs.
You nod furiously, drooling at the thought of both of them destroying you at the same time. Ghost’s hands reach down to spread your legs further. Once notched into your hole next to Price, the two take their time pressing their way inside. The fit is tight, but my god it’s delicious.
The size of them both feel like more than you can handle, but you’re by no means a quitter. With Ghost in your ear praising you for the way you’re taking them and Price above you telling you just how good you feel wrapped around them, you’re determined to make them both fit.
One final, firm thrust and they’re both balls-deep. You get a minute’s rest before your superiors are drilling into you relentlessly. Every single synapse in your body is alight, and you’re certain you won’t last long.
Ghost is leaving marks on your neck while Price kisses you feverishly, and the coil in your belly snaps with little resistance. You clench around them violently, your cum stopped from pouring out only by the tight seal of their cocks. The sensation of your orgasm is enough to send them over the edge, both Ghost and Price releasing as deep inside you as they can.
The room is still as you all try to catch your breath, the only sound to be heard being the thrum of your heartbeat in your ears and the chorus of panting around you. Slowly, gently, Price pulls out of you, with Ghost following suit. You whimper as a mixture of your fluids spills from your core.
With his fingers, Price swipes up the spend and stuffs it back into your overly-sensitive hole. “Best not to waste it, love, otherwise we’ll have to go again.”
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kxxkiecxre · 2 years
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The house we built of love
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Warnings :
Anger - Jealousy- possessiveness (sorta?) - unrealistic scenario (kinda? Maybe not) - smuttish - frustrating -
Summary :
Basically house of cards.
Jungkook x Reader / Soft!Jungkook/ possessive Jungkook/ jealous reader/a lot of arguments/ Jungkook x Lisa (not bp Lisa) (friendly) / Fragile relationship/ stubborn reader.
Word count :
4K
Overly fluffy - sickeningly fluffy- ending.
Just a heads up lol.
~ unedited of course lol~
IM VERY NEW TO TUMBLR SO PLEASE SOMEONE GUIDE ME LOL
Also Y/N is crying non stop it’s kinda annoying ngl lol
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
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THE clock ticked away, as yet another night went by were Jungkook was late home. Another night were you wondered if he's cheating. A solemn night were many tears were wiped harshly of your cheeks, staining them red and making them puffy. You tossed and turned in the bed, head pounding with the ache in your skull, your eyes drifted in and out of sleep. Trying to stay awake so you could confront him, of his whereabouts. Again.
You should be used to it, he'd say he'd be home at a certain time and he never kept that promise. Days, weeks flied by and you slowly gave up on your shared plans. Angrily scribbling them of your list, cursing yourself out for believing him when he clearly thought you weren't important enough.
Sure you understood his Job was important, Of course it is. But he had so many days off were you could have spent them together, maybe a nice dinner out in a restaurant or even a simple walk in the park eating ice cream in the freezing weather because you're crazy. But he'd always say he's too tired, take a nap and then get ready to go out with his friends. It was frustrating. Fighting with him about it every night was so tiring at this stage, that you just gave up. You knew your relationship was on the last of its strings, fearing that any one of these days it would snap. He felt it too.
He knew the same thing, but he didn't understand why he's been this way. It's like anytime he wants to talk to you he can't find his voice. Because he knows you'd accuse him of something, maybe not verbally but surely with your eyes. He hated how this was all going, how all these years were slowly going down the drain yet his feelings for you were intensifying every day. He knew it was going to happen, he'd gain this feeling of not wanting to be separated from you for even a minute, and then he feared you'd leave him. And he'd be left with attachment issues. He was so tired too.
He was so scared that you were loosing feelings for him, so scared that one day you'd tell him you don't love him anymore while he carried an engagement ring with him everyday. Too scared to pop the question because of the current atmosphere.
What he hated the most is how close you've gotten to him.
Locking the door of the apartment he drops his work case on the couch along with his blazer, immediately going for his tie. He wondered why it was quiet, almost like you weren't here. He rubbed his face in tiredness, eyes giving out from the multiple forms and letters he had to read tonight. He took his shoes off and went for a shower, not bothering with pyjamas just sliding under the blankets in his boxers.
You were asleep, yet he could see you were crying. His heart clenched, knowing you don't believe that he works over hours, even though he truly does.
He wrapped you in his embracing, kissing your naked shoulder and nuzzling his head in your neck. He hated himself for his cowardliness, you never gave him any sign of running, yet he was so afraid you would. He felt your fingers tangle with his, giving him a tight grip.
"Kookie?" He almost cried out from happiness at hearing his nickname from you, not his full name and he finally felt like maybe it was going to be okay.
"Hi baby"
A beat of silence hung in the air as he sensed the shift in the room. He heard you swallow hard, tightening your grip on his hand before parting those pretty lips of yours.
"I'm leaving uhm," his heart dropped to his stomach "to my moms tomorrow morning, I need uh I need a little time"
He stopped breathing, untangling his hand from yours and going out of the bed. He just stood there, staring at you as you sat up on the bed. Avoiding his eyes like the plague. He felt so frustrated and hurt, but most of all so scared of actually losing you. He noticed the way your heart beat pounded in your chest, between your collarbones, that little dip gave you away so easily.
At first he chuckled, then he shook his head and laughed, before rubbing his face harshly and looking down at you in anger and pain.
You wanted to hide, you didn't have the energy to fight, and you felt like throwing up any moment now. But you stood your ground, looking into those angry eyes of his as he slipped on his tracksuit pants.
"Why?"
You huffed, picking at your nails "what do you mean why?"
"I mean why!" His voice raised slightly.
"Because Jungkook! I need time, time to think, time to figure things out, time to be away from here, from this mess, from you" you must love digging the knife in his chest because you're really hitting the nail on the head right now "you're barely here for gods sake! Are we even in a relationship anymore because lately it seems like we are more like roommates then lovers"
He licked his drying lips, stomach clenching with nausea as he tried so hard to keep his tears back, "I don't get what you want from me? I work, I bring money back home, pay the bills put food on the table and love you! What else do you want!"
"It's not just about the money! We could be poor as hell and I wouldn't give a crap, I want you! I want you to be here, to make love to me, to go out and do something like a couple!"
"We are a couple!"
"Jungkook you're barely here, you work twenty four - seven, and on your off days recently all you have been doing is hanging with your friends! With her."
"Lisa?"
"Yeah her"
"Lisa is my assistant, and nothing more than that"
You scoffed, "oh so the assistant is why you couldn't even have sex with me for the past month"
"Where are you getting this from?" He groaned, gripping his hair as he sat on the chair that leaned against the closet, elbows on his laps as he looked at the floor.
"God knows what you've been doing while working"
"Why do you keep saying it like that"
"Like what"
"Like you don't believe that I'm actually working"
"Because Jungkook," you sat on the edge of the bed now, looking at him with solemn eyes "you spend so much time there, as if you're the only worker there"
"Because I am the assistant manager y/n"
He looked you dead in the eyes, anger spewing from his eyes as he shook his head scoffing with a dry chuckle. Maybe you're overreacting but how can you not? Tonight's been the first time he's touched since last month. It almost felt foreign.
"And what about you and that guy," his eyebrows were scrunched creasing his forehead slightly "hmm? What do you call him yoongi was it?"
This time you were confused, widening your eyes like he's out of his mind. Is he insane? Out of all the people he could be Jealous of he's jealous about Yoongi?
"Yoongi? Seriously?" You dead panned.
"Well I don't know," he shrugged, "like you said im barely home, who knows what you're doing"
You laughed. You actually laughed straight in his face, eyes welling up with tears as you grabbed your stomach laughing so hard that you felt like you were going to pass out.
"Seriously, come on Kook"
"Does he fuck you? In this bed right there where we sleep in? He's been spending a lot of time here, I mightn't be home all the time Y/N, but I do know what's going on in our home"
"Oh so you're spying on me?"
"You aren't denying it" his voice drops an octave, eyes darkening and not in the happy kind of way.
"Yoongi and I are just friends, we've never been more" you huffed "clearly you don't know what's going on in our home if you're accusing me of something like that"
"Just friends, typical answer y'know"
You shook your head in disbelief, "Yoongi is happily married for your information"
"Doesn't stop some men"
"So I've heard" you look deep in his eyes, battling your mind.
"I've never had sex with her, I would never have sex with anyone other than you"
"Seems like a lie, or you might have penile dysfunction" you shrugged.
"I have a hand" he mimicked you.
"So do I"
"Seems like we are both happy then" he chuckled dryly.
"Seems it"
You spent the next half a minute staring at each other, the only light illuminating the room was jungkooks computer screen.
"You leaving forever or are you coming back"
"I'm coming back in a few days"
He nodded, sighing deeply before opening the closet and putting on a shirt. He grabbed his shoes and left the room without another word while you threw yourself back into the bed, crying seemingly your only remedy.
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YOU sat wrapped in your mothers blankets on her sofa, the heat of the fire engulfing you in warmth as you held the hot chocolate in your hands, sniffling a little as you wiped under your eyes.
"He's been so distant you know?" Your voice breaking as you looked into the cup. Face scrunching in pain.
For the past two days you've missed him like crazy. Sure you only see him at night or at breakfast but you still missed him like hell. After all he has been your person for them past four years, you have literally forgotten how to sleep without expecting a warm body next to you. God you missed him so much and you only hoped he wished you just as much.
After landing in your hometown, you immediately rang him, letting him know you have arrived home as you heard the busy afternoon of his work place. The conversation was short yet the silence was unbearably long. You could feel the nausea creeping up, and the tears welling in your eyes when you decided to finally say 'bye, see you home soon'.
Sure you've had a fair few arguments with him over the past four years, but they have never been as long or stubborn and heart breaking like this one. Or as exhausting. Usually you'd go a few hours without talking before spending the entire night making up in your shared bed. Fucking each other like rabid animals. But this time, this time it felt like you were on the cusp of a heart wrenching forever goodbye. You didn't want to believe it, but that's what it seemed like. That's what it felt like.
"Sweetheart, I understand, but he has a job. He has a very very hard job, being an assistant manager at a huge company like that is tough. Trust me, besides I don't believe he'd ever do that to you. I don't think he sees anyone but you in this world"
You swallowed your sob, face wallowing in pain "then why doesn't it feel like it?"
Your mother slumped, embracing you in a tight hug as she kissed the top of your head, "oh baby".
Once again, you went to bed without him, expecting a warm body to join you but it never did, and it killed you inside because even though he'd come home late you always woke up in the middle of the night to him slipping into the bed beside, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest.
Your finger hovered over his contact, the call button practically screaming your name as you set the phone down on the pillow next to you, finally giving in and calling him. Just to hear him. Even just to hear his breathing.
He picked up on the second ring, a small 'hi' coming from the speakers as you swallowed the cry that wanted to desperately leave your lips.
"I miss you" your voice sounded strained, and he heard the way you deeply inhaled and held your breath as you awaited his next words.
"Don't cry baby," exhaling you sobbed even harder "I miss you"
"I love you" you cleared your throat "even through all of this I love you so much Kookie"
He swallowed the lump in his throat, a stone lifting of his chest as he slumped in his office chair, smiling a little to himself. You still love him.
"I know baby, I know" he chuckled "I love you so fucking much, I'm so sorry"
"Me too"
"Come back please?" He signed the letter of resignation, not even thinking twice when he heard your voice again.
"Tomorrow at 8pm"
"Namjoon will pick you up okay? Our car is still getting serviced"
"Okay"
"I can't wait to see you"
"I can't wait to see you too"
For the rest of the night you let him fill you in about his work day for the past three days. Telling you how a crazy customer called him and gave him a bullshit reason of complaint as he pretended to write it all down. He explained how he'll never let something like this happen between both of you again, promising you that he'll be home waiting for you. And even though you tried to believe him, a part of you doubted it, and even he heard it in your wary 'okay'.
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The next morning you woke up a little lighter than yesterday, a smile gracing your face for the first time in a month as you skipped down the stairs and joined your parents for breakfast.
"Have you spoken to him?" Your father asked, setting his newspaper aside as he sipped his coffee.
"Yes I have"
"And?" Your mother pries.
"And we made up, we'll be discussing everything when I get home" you smiled.
"Well! That's great news!" Your father chirped.
You sighed, your smile dropping as the nerves kicked in once again, "what if he's cheating though? What if I come home and find him in bed with that assistant of his?"
"Who Lisa?" Your mums face was confused, more than confused actually.
"Yeah" you feigned disgust.
"She's his assistant!" Your mother almost yelled "better yet she's his cousin!"
You chocked on your egg, your father passing you water so quickly that he spilled some on himself, "what?"
"He didn't tell you?"
"No mum I just chose to randomly choke on an egg"
"Well here's the story," your mum set her cutlery down "Lisa is his cousin that basically disappeared of the face of the earth - she was always a rebellious kid- and randomly popped back into his families life when Jungkook got promoted to Assistant Manager, she basically begged him to give her a job there and he did, they made up only recently because apparently they had a huge argument like a few months before you guys met each other. So yeah, it's quiet messy and as far as I know, Jungkook is very very very silent about her, he doesn't even tell people she's his cousin”
“Woah she must of did something really bad if he doesn’t even wanna tell me about her”
"Ma' you wanna know the best part," you snickered "he thought I was cheating on him with Yoongi"
"Oh for Christ sake" your father sighed "have you kids lost your minds, do you not see how devoted both of you are to each other? I can bet a hefty amount of cash you guys would kill someone together and hide the body together"
"Yoongi!" Your mother bursts out laughing "Yoongi"
"Yeah Yoongi" you snickered with your mother.
"As in Yoongi that's basically like your brother"
You nodded your head snorting as your mother silent laughed, slamming her hand of the table as your dad shook his head and went back to reading his newspaper.
"Mum Yoongi literally threatened him when we first started dating and he pretended he didn't even know what Yoongi's name was"
Your mother wailed in laughter, "please Yoongi is literally married, and you guys grew up in the same household for like a good ten years, took baths together his mother and I still even have your baby photos from that one shoot where you guys were literally butt ass naked"
"Oh please give me them so I can show him when I'm back home"
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
The rest of the evening your mother and you spent looking for those goddamn photos, and packing your belongings again. This time she even let you take back your old blanket with you, telling you that you're greedy but you just laughed it off.
Then she dropped you back to the airport, kissing you goodbye and telling you all the typical motherly things, before she let you go.
The flight back home was going to be exhausting, and you prepared by stealing your mothers neck pillow and your baby blanket. She must be cursing you out right about now but you couldn't careless, you just couldn't wait to be in Jungkooks arms again.
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Finally landing, you tiredly pull your body into Namjoon's awaiting car as he immediately hands you a Starbucks cup.
"You're an Angel Joon" you pouted, sipping the coffee like an alcoholic.
"Thanks but it was Jungkook who gave me your order, also Christ woman! 3 shots of espresso? How's your heart still beating"
"Don't worry Namjoonah, I'm made of steel"
The drive back wasn't long, the only thing long was your argument with namjoon as you pushed the $60 dollars into his hands while he pushed it back into yours, telling you that he truly didn't mind and he didn't need fuel because his car is always tanked up, eventually you let him have his way, but not without hiding the 50 dollar note in his wallet as he went to the booth of the car to get your luggage. So really, you got your way.
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You practically sprinted into the elevator, even as the nerves ate you up, you couldn't wait to be in his arms again.
Just as the elevator dinged you broke out into a sprint again, almost knocking down your elderly neighbour as you yelled a sorry before giggling at the poor woman's scolding. You started to get agitated when you couldn't get the keys into the lock, until eventually you did, and you almost dropped to your knees when you saw what was in front of your eyes.
You rolled the suitcase beside the now closed entrance door, your eyes immediately tearing up as you took notice at the scene in front of you.
Your heart beating almost inhumanely, and perhaps it was the coffee but you knew it wasn't.
Lilac flowers were spread into a pathway to your shared room, where Jungkook was waiting. A million battery operated candles lighting up the apartment and you sobbed as you took a small step forward.
Lilac flowers, you told him to buy lilac flowers when he asks you to marry him, because roses were overrated and you hated them. Even though you loved touching them, you hated the little bastards, because though beautiful, they sure left a mean sting of their thorns.
You followed the path to him, never taking your eyes off of him as you noticed the shiny diamond ring in his hand, alongside a pretty bunch of lilacs and dahlias. He looked so handsome too, with black slacks and a toffee sweater. God you felt like you were dreaming. As you walked you felt like you were walking on a cloud, like this was all too good to be true because not long ago you were in the same space, questioning the state of your relationship.
"Welcome back baby"
"Yes"
"But I didn't even ask the question yet" he pouted.
"Okay then ask"
"Y/N Y/N/L, I have never loved someone the way that I love you, no one has ever made me feel so blessed and loved like you. I'd do anything for you, anything that you'd ever ask for, I can swear to you, I'd do it. I don't ask for much y/n, I just ask that you spend an eternity with me..
Marry me?"
"Yes" you choked on your sob, your voice coming out fat and ugly as he held kissed your lips.
Both of you melted into each other, the ring and flowers long forgotten as they were placed on his computer desk right beside the confirmation of his resignation. Clothes flew and accompanied the crushed lilacs underneath your feet before your naked body was on the bed sheets. His cologne invading your senses as you hugged yourself to his body, returning the passionate kiss of his feverish lips.
He kissed you all over, every inch of your skin was painted by his soft lips, like a brush to the canvas. Then he marked you as his, nipping on your neck as you moaned into his shoulder, kissing his neck and face all over, his lips didn't need time, as he carefully dotted all over your skin, slowly trailing them down to your hardened nipples, and his warm breath on them was just enough to have you whining, arching your back to meet his mouth. He just looked up, watching as he barely touched you and you already looked fucked out. You were so beautiful and mesmerising he almost forgot what he was doing.
The first contact of his mouth on your awaiting nipples was blissful, a tickling feeling running through your body as you moaned smiling just a little while tipping your head back, tangling your fingers in his hair as his tongue flicked your sensitive nub in his mouth. He loved the reaction your body had to him, it was just amazing. Truly amazing to watch you unfold like that.
"Kookie, I want you right now, please"
He only smirked against your nipple, eyes peering at his saliva covering your pretty brown nipples. God has he mentioned how
Much he loves you.
"I love you baby"
"I love you too"
His lips engulfed yours, his tip parting your slit as both of you closed your eyes, small moans swallowed by both of your lips as you continued kissing your abused fleshes.
The moment he pushed inside of you, was out of this world. Both gasping as he pushed himself all in, giving you time to adjust as he went back to kissing you, pulling out just enough to leave the tip in, before filling you up
Again.
"So good baby, you're doing so good" he praised you, leaning his forehead against
Yours as your bodies were flushed together, your breasts squished against his chest as you never broke eye contact. Him leaning on his forearms that were either side of your head, slow deep strokes of his core inside of you and you knew, this was not just sex, no, the second you opened the door, you knew it wasn't going to be just feverish sex.
He was making deep deep love to you right now, taking his time with you and showing you just how much he loves you.
"I love you," he kissed your lips.
"I love you"
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~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Bleh another fluffy ending 🤮
Ok ok maybe I loooove fluffy endings...
Or maybe I'm
Preparing you for something a little less fluffy??????
Anyway I've been updating frequently these days lol but to be honest these are super short so they're not too hard to put out.
Unless you're sick of
Me already lol.
I've been drafting a lot as well so If I'm not updating as frequently then you know why! Sorry I'm advance.
As always enjoy 😉xx
NO REPOSTING, EDITING, TRANSLATION OR COPYING OF ANY OF MY WORKS!
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harryspet · 4 years
Text
caged bird | s.rogers, p.parker & b.barnes
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[Warnings] dark!steve rogers x reader, dark!peter parker x reader, dark!bucky barnes x reader, polyamory, prison au, noncon/dubcon sex, this plot scenario is very unrealistic but oh well,  reader makes a deal so she can survive, hella manipulation, dominants/submissive, oral sex (male recieving), hella angst, shower sex, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
A/N: this is like a really f’d up situation so enjoy :):):) i also wrote this over the span of two weeks so i’m sorry if the pacing is weird and (also x2) this is nowhere near canon
In which you have to make a deal with three devils in order to survive in The Cage.
word count: 4.8k
main masterlist
Your eyelids were heavy though the bright light outside the bus was forcing you awake. Your limbs shackled to the seat, it reminded you that you had lost your freedom so quickly and that you’d probably never have a good night of sleep ever again, “How long?” Your mouth was dry, the heat from the wasteland you were driving through crept through the window. 
“Twenty minutes, princess,” Officer Rumlow looked you over for the millionth time like you were fresh meat ready for the slaughter. His perceptions weren’t far off and that’s what scared you the most. You weren’t cut out for a place like the Cage. 
A week ago you thought this place was fictional, a nightmare tale that was used to scare the new employees. It was still a nightmare but you were now living in it. You thought your heart might explode out of your chest as the facility finally came into view. Five stories of complete concrete surrounded by two, hundred-foot fences and surrounded by a barren wasteland. 
You were the only one on the bus. The Cage rarely received new inmates due to the nature of crimes that the prison was built for. Vigilantes and government traitors. Many used to consider them heroes but they were unregulated and dangerous. That's how they ended up here and, your boss, Alexander Pierce had sold you out to save himself.
“When … W-When am I going to get my phone call?” You asked as the bus entered the gates of the prison, finally stopping at the processing center. 
Rumlow chuckled, walking over to unchain your shackles from the floor of the bus, “Who are you going to call, princess? Mommy and Daddy?” He grabbed you roughly by your upper arm, pulling you out of your seat and dragging you down the steps of the bus. 
You refused to accept that you had been erased. Your parents probably thought you were only missing, not that you had been wrongly accused of betraying the government and had been thrown into the most dangerous prison in the country. 
“They can’t do this,” You winced as your arm stung, “No trial. No jury. T-This is illegal!”
Rumlow ignored you, and you had to pick up your pace in order to not fall down. Your eyes wandered around, the sun nearly blinding you and stinging your skin at the same time. You noticed in the distance a group of male inmates standing behind a wired fence, wearing the same navy jumpsuit as you, and even from far away, you could see cold and hungry glances. 
You thought you were lucky for a minute since you were a woman but then you remembered what kind of women probably lived here. As you were brought inside, past several guards, through metal detectors and pat-downs. 
When you got to the body cavity search, you expected to part way with Rumlow. Standing in a small, cold room, Rumlow stood in the doorway with his hands casually in the pockets of his pants, “Undress, inmate,” Your eyes widened and you quickly crossed your arms, “Slowly, if you don’t mind.”
“I-I do mind,” You said quickly, “I’m supposed to have a female officer-”
“You don’t get those kinds of privileges in the Cage. We don’t separate inmates by gender,” You shook your head as your eyebrows began to furrow. 
“That’s insane-”
“Undress, inmate,” He said more sternly this time, “Or would you like me to do it for you? You’re lucky I don’t make you put on a show for the rest of the guards.”
You shook your head again, tears starting to form in your tired eyes, “Please don’t-” You tried to plead with him but, as you did, you watched him reach for his baton, “Okay, okay!”
Rumlow smiled a wicked smile, “Good. Bend over and cough, inmate. Let me see that cute, little ass of yours.”
+
When you finally got to see a female officer, she was escorting you to your cell. In your hands, you held the rest of your life which included one more set of clothes, bedding, and a toothbrush. You had to eat what the prison provided and you could only earn extra commissary from working. Hela tried to explain everything to you but you were only latching onto every other world. 
You walked along a slim passageway which had cells to the right and a metal railing to the left. There were three floors of cells and they seemed to go all the way around in a circle. Passed the railing and in the middle of the dome was where it seemed most of the inmates were gathered. 
The shouting, laughing, and fighting echoed through the dome and you couldn’t help but think those calls were for you. You could barely carry your bag of things and walk straight without stumbling. If they couldn’t send your weakness from your appearance then they’d surely sniff it out soon. 
“This can’t be allowed,” You whispered to Officer Hela, though her dark hair mixed with the look of death in her eyes didn’t scream “empathy” to you, “There has to be some sort of rule-”
She stopped in front of an empty, six by eight-foot cell which told you that this would be your new home, “You can sit in solitary if you like,” She spoke coldly, “Your meals get brought to you and you don’t have to deal with the animals in here but there’s no time outside. It’s easy to lose track of the days and forget which voices are real and which ones are inside your head. If you prefer to go insane before you die then I’d recommend that route.”
There wasn’t much of a choice to make and you found your feet moving before your brain could register. You stepped inside the cell, setting down your things on the bottom bunk, “A girl like you is going to need to latch onto a group, pledge your allegiance, and do not let them question your loyalty. They live by a different code here and following it is life or death, do you understand?”
You slowly nodded as you listened and part of you was grateful that she wasn’t completely cold, “T-Thank you-”
She scoffed, “Such a precious little thing … I give you a week,” With that, she turned on her heel and you felt hopeless once again, “I’ll escort you to dinner-”
You shook your head, “I’m not hungry.” You were actually starving but you could not yet face the beast. 
She only shrugged and pulled the door closed. The light above you flickered and you stared back down at your bunk. You were holding back your tears as you tried to make up your bed. Staring at the flimsy mattress material only made you more depressed so you decided just to lay down. Facing the wall, your tired eyes roamed over what was scribbled on the walls. 
S.H.I.E.L.D. is evil. 
S.H.I.E.L.D. is corrupt. 
You hated that the words initially sent a wave of anger through you. You hated that you still felt loyal to that group of monsters. You were a low level worker with good standing and they had just sent you to die?
With your face tucked into your arm, you cried yourself to sleep. 
+
The next day you had no choice but to face your fears. You couldn’t go any longer without food and, in a place like this, you needed to keep your energy up. Before the sun was even out, you heard the mechanical click of the cell door. Your favorite officer, Rumlow, made sure to stop by your cell during roll call. 
“So you decided on general population,” He popped the gum he was chewing, looking you over, “I’m sad to hear it, I was gonna visit you every day in solitary but I guess we’ll get some alone time soon enough.”
You scowled at him and a shiver went through you as he continued pass your cell. You were now grateful that you had chosen general population. 
That feeling didn’t last as inmates started moving from their cells down to breakfast. You stayed back, waiting to slip out of your cell when the crowd had passed. You lingered in the back of the line but no one seemed to notice you until you were in the kitchen line. The first reaction was a quiet murmur that went through the group of (mostly) men at the sight of you. 
You didn’t quite match anyone's stature, not even the women. At least they looked like they could take care of themselves. You were sure that your face probably had dark circles and sunken in features. You looked down when you felt someone's eyes on you and you cringed at every word whispered about you. 
“If I could just get my hands on her …”
“I wonder what a little girl like that could’ve done to get in here.”
“I’d be real gentle with her …” “I wouldn’t … I’d make her scream …”
“Move along,” Hela barked at the inmates in the line. You tried to tune them out as a staff member handed you your tray of food. A stale piece of toast, plastic-looking eggs, peaches, and what looked like could be oatmeal. 
It was when you turned away that you felt a pinch on your bottom. You turned around quickly only to find yourself staring at a chest rather than a face. As you looked up, a man with long, dark black hair stared down at you, “Aren’t you adorable?”
“I said move along, inmates,” You looked towards Hela for some sort of help but didn’t receive any. 
When you looked back again, the man had disappeared. You shook it off, figuring that was the least of what you were about to experience today. As you stepped out into the middle of the dome, you remembered the advice that Hela had managed to give you. 
There were cliques formed at each circular, metal table and you looked each one over as you walked past them. Again, people stared and said vile things but you spotted a table where two women were sitting. They were much older than you but the look you got from them was not maternal in the least. 
“Can I… sit here?” You knew the answer based on their thin-lipped scowls. 
You weren’t like any of them … you were fragile. Besides that, you used to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. and the organization was responsible for locking half of these people away. You kept walking, eventually finding an empty table to sit at. 
All you could think about now was eating. You picked at your tray with your plastic fork, and with each bite of the food you cringed. The toast was also completely rock hard, “It helps if you dip it in water,” Your head snapped up as you felt a shadow over you before someone took a seat beside you. 
You weren’t expecting someone so young and you certainly weren’t expecting a friendly smile. You stared at the handsome man with your mouth agape. You hadn’t realized what he meant until you looked back down at the bread in your hands, “Oh … I doubt anything would make this edible-”
He ran his hand through his light brown hair, before reaching into the pocket of his jumpsuit. On the table in front of you, he placed a twinkie. The entire room seemed to go quiet for a moment and you realized that everyone was watching the two of you. 
“I can’t accept this …”
“Of course you can, it’s no big deal,” His brown eyes pierced into yours as he shrugged, “I’m Peter.”
The sugary, process food was calling your name but you still weren’t sure what his deal was, “T-Thank you,” Not wanting to come off rude, you accepted it, unknowingly beginning to seal your fate, “I’m … I’m-”
“Y/N Y/LN,” He finished for you which left your eyes wide with shock, “You’re already famous. The guards like to gossip and it’s rare we get new inmates so people get curious.”
“Oh,” You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. 
“Don’t worry, some people in here care about your charges, how you got here, but not me,” He tried to reassure you, a smile tugging at his lips, “S.H.I.E.L.D. screwed us all and I don’t think there’s a point in playing who’s the better bad guy.”
You looked around. Now that you knew that people knew your charges and your history, you were starting to feel unsettled. The only thing keeping you grounded was him reassuring you that he didn’t care, “How long-” Your voice came out in a whisper, “How long have you been here?”
Peter took a breath as he thought for a moment, “Few years. Now I kinda forget that I was a normal teenager when this all started.”
Years. And he was a teenager when they brought him here? Did they have no limits to their cruelty?
“God,” You breathed out, overwhelmed, “I don’t think I can … do this-”
Peter reached out, placing a calm hand on your arm, “Hey, hey, you have to survive here. Whether you were meant to be here or not, you have to live like this is your reality. Looking like you’re about to vomit is not a good look to everyone else. I saw Loki over there … he’s an asshole touching you like that  but it’s because he’s already sniffed you out.”
You nodded, trying to stay calm, “But I don’t know how to look … to look less weak.”
“For one, you’re going to have to start eating more and building some muscle,” You could tell by his grip on your arm that he was quite strong, “And the next time someone disrespects you, you have to stand up for yourself. You also can’t just bark like a little chihuahua. Maybe you could pick someone out, someone that you could win in a fight against.”
As Peter started to scan the room, you immediately started shaking your hand, “I can’t just attack someone,” You whisper-shouted, your eyes wide with worry. 
Peter chuckled, “Not with that attitude. Maybe you could go for Heather over there,” He eyed a woman who was practically elderly, “She has a cane so even you could probably overpower though I’ve seen here use the thing as a weapon a few times-”
“Peter,” You spoke sharply, “There has to be another way.”
Peter looked into your eyes and you lost hope for a moment until he seemed to perk up, “I have some friends, we kind of run together in this place, looking out for each other,” Peter explained and you listened intently, hoping for a means of survival that didn’t require attacking an old lady, “I could probably convince them to start looking out for you too. But it won’t be easy, we take loyalty very seriously here, and it wouldn’t be without a cost to you.”
“What sort of cost?”
Peter shrugged, “Could be lots of things. They serve plums on Friday and Bucky loves those so maybe you’d show your support to the group by giving him yours. Something like that,” You followed Peter’s finger as he pointed two men out, one with dark hair and the other with light. Both were built like bodybuilders, “Steve’s a respected leader here and maybe you could help run messages for him.” 
You nodded, “T-That sounds fair,” You paused for a moment as the men eyed you, “And for the twinkie? What do you want?”
“Now you’re starting to get it,” Peter grinned, “Eat it and that means you accept our claim. You’re one of us.”
“Can’t I have time to think about it?” 
Peter seemed to hesitate for the first time, “I’m sure you won’t get a better offer,” Your face fell, “But sure. I’d be quick about it though. Those big, doe eyes aren’t going to work on everybody.”
+
The dark-haired one was following you. Loki, Peter called him, hadn’t taken his eyes off you ever since you parted ways with Peter yesterday. He and his greek god, blonde friend were now walking behind you as you made your way through the halls. They were pushing mop buckets, evidently taking a break from their cleaning duty. 
You had gotten lost trying to find the hospital wing and now you were paying the consequences. 
“Little bird … caged and unprotected,” He taunted you and your heartbeat quickened as you tried to keep from looking back,  “Not even the guards want to save her. Poor thing.”
“It seems she’s in need of protecting, brother.”
“Protecting? If I got my hands on her, the last thing I’d think of is being gentle-”
You turned into the first room you passed, expecting to find somewhere to hide but you only seemed to encounter more people. It was the TV room, a staticy old television airing a baseball game was hanging in the corner of the room, and a bunch of men were sitting at different tables. 
They all turned their heads to you as you interrupted and you immediately recognized the two men from Peter’s loyal “group”. Bucky and Steve. Your heart was out of your chest at the point and you found yourself whispering a “sorry” before turning back towards the door. Loki and his brother, however, were waiting patiently. 
Loki leaned in the doorway, eyeing you like you were fresh meat. 
“Is this jackass bothering you, hon?” Your eyes wide with fear, you quickly realized that it wasn’t Loki taunting you. The dark-haired man’s, you remembered Peter calling him Bucky, voice boomed through the room.
You froze.
“Don’t you have toilets to scrub, Laufeyson?” The light hair man with a thick beard spoke, and by the look on his face you could tell he was a man of power. Not so much power-hungry but someone that demanded respect and often received it. 
Loki scoffed, looking over you again, “As far as I know, this one is free territory.”
“Well, this room is my territory and guess where she happens to be standing,” Loki’s jaw clenched at Steve’s words. 
“C’mere, hon,” Bucky spoke to you, signaling to cross the room. She hesitated but only for a moment as you realized your choices were Peter’s friends or letting Loki, have you. You crossed the room cautiously towards them, everyone now looking at you. You paused awkwardly in front of the table but a small yelp left your lip as Bucky grabbed you by the arm, spinning you into his lap. 
“See,” Steve said as you uncomfortably tried your best not to squirm, “Don’t touch things that aren’t yours, Laufeyson.”
You felt a hand clench your thigh and cringed.
“Aye, aye, Captain.”
As soon as Loki stormed away, you stood up, brushing whatever wrinkles had formed in your jumpsuit. Amused, Bucky smiled at you, “You could at least thank us,” Bucky leaned forward and you tried not to scowl. 
“Thank you,” You whispered. 
“Good girl,” Bucky smirked. 
“Lang, get Y/N a chair,” Steve ordered another man in the room. He was quick to obey the command and, even though you were in a new place, you felt you’d been transported into an entirely new planet. 
“You don’t have to-”
“Sit,” Steve said as the chair was placed beside you, “You can leave when you give us an answer to the offer Peter mentioned yesterday.”
You had thought long and hard about Peter’s offer and decided last night that you wanted to reject it. It wasn’t until now that you realized your decision was a mistake. There was no telling when you’d be getting out of this place, Peter had been here for years, and it seemed you were already a target. 
You’d even heard a rumor that the guards placed bets on how long you’d survive in here. 
“Yes …” You nodded your head, “That’s my answer.”
Steve's lips pulled into a small grin as he eyed his friend across the table, “Good choice, doll.”
+
A week later and you were still alive and relatively untouched. Bucky was quite handsy but Peter reminded you that it was just protocol. Everyone had to know that you were a part of their group and that, if you were harmed, they’d have to deal with Steve and his minions. 
Like Peter said, there were quite a few sacrifices you had to make. Your new job in the kitchen allowed you to provide the group with all the food they wanted and when you weren’t working, you were running errands for Steve. You got an idea of all the inmate leaders and how they functioned as a society. 
Steve seemed to be at the very top and you realized the possible consequences of crossing someone like him. Still, you felt more pampered than like you were a part of some elaborate prison gang. Most of your wishes were theirs to grant. 
They let you watch whatever you wanted in the TV room. Bucky always called you pet names that you were starting to grow fond of. Steve had some pull with the guards so Rumlow was never around to bother you anymore. Peter even found you a set of paints to occupy your time in your cell. As long as you followed them around like their cute little puppy, they were quite nice to you. 
“C’mon, run a lap with me. You gotta build your strength,” Peter asked you, his face sweaty and shining under the baking sun. He was shirtless, the shirtsleeves of his uniform wrapped around his waist, and his magnificent physique was on display just like Steve and Bucky’s. During rec time in the courtyard, you’d become accustomed to standing by the fence and watching them lift weights. 
“I’m good, thanks,” You smiled awkwardly, “I get tired just from watching you guys.”
“Peter’s right,” Steve let out a breath as he dropped his hundred-pound dumbbell.
“I just …” Your voice trailed off as Steve eyed you with his strong gaze. You knew that what he said goes but you were growing nervous, “I don’t want to get sweaty.”
“You’re serious?” Bucky chimed in, a curious look on his face. 
“Is that like a girl thing I don’t know about?” Peter flashed you an amused look and your cheeks began to heat with embarrassment. 
“Y/N?” Steve could see that you were hiding something.
You crossed your arms, sighing, “I just don’t want to have to shower, okay?”
“You haven’t showered since you’ve been here?” Peter asked incredulously. 
“I have!” You quickly defended yourself, “I mean, I’ve just been using the sink in my cell.”
“I see what this is about,” Bucky had a knowing look on his face, “Dollface is scared of the communal showers.”
Peter’s mouth formed the shape of an “o” as he realized what was going on. You still felt so embarrassed. It was yet another thing that made you seem totally defenseless. 
“Is that true?” Steve asked and you were beginning to feel overwhelmed by their concerned gazes, “Why didn’t you tell us? Next time, one of us will keep watch for you. No one’s gonna bother you.”
Maybe it was the isolation or the fact that your life would never be the same again. Maybe it was the fact that you’d never see your family again or that you cried yourself to sleep every night. That might be the reason you felt that they genuinely cared for you and why you wanted to fully embrace the comfort that they were providing. 
Maybe that was why you wanted to belong to them. 
+
For the first time, you were reminded of your old life. You weren’t sure how long you’d lost yourself under the water, letting time get away from you, as the warm water cascaded along your skin. The showers had a sorry excuse for water pressure and, despite the creepiness of the beige tiles and flickering light above, when you closed your eyes you were in paradise. 
“All clean, beautiful?” Bucky’s voice brought you out of your trance. Suddenly you were back in the square room with showerheads lining each wall. You wiped the water from your eyes before turning off the water. 
“Y-Yes, I’m almost done!” You shouted back, grabbing your towel from off the hook. You pressed it to your face, drying your skin. You were quite grateful that they’d taken the extra steps to make you feel protected, “Bucky-”
As you turned around, that feeling of gratitude quickly turned to something resembling fear. He was supposed to wait for you outside the bathroom and yet, there he was, only three feet away from you. 
“What are you-”
He looked over you hungrily and you pressed your towel closer to your body, “You have no idea how long it's been since I’ve been with a beautiful woman like you … Steve too. And Peter, he’s just learning the ropes.”
You took a step back, towards the wall, and as you did you caught a glimpse behind Bucky’s towering figure. Both Steve and Peter were here, stalking closer. 
“You said you’d protect me…” Your voice cracked, your hands beginning to shake. 
“We will,” Steve spoke, determined, “No one else but us will touch you.”
“Nothing in here is without a cost, Y/N,” Peter seemed a bit solemn like his current life was not what he wanted it to be but he was just as hungry, if not more, as Bucky. 
Bucky grabbed you then, his eyes impatient, and you wrestled for your towel for only a moment before he easily snatched it away from you. A helpless squeal left your mouth as he grabbed you by the arm with one hand and placed his other hand between your legs. He grabbed your thigh tightly and as his hand moved further up, you found yourself paralyzed. 
“Good girl. You’re going to take all of us,” Bucky spoke quietly, shushing you, his grip growing tighter and tighter. Before you knew it, all three of them were surrounding you, their curious hands wandering over your wet skin. Grabbing your breast, your thighs, turning your face to bite at your neck. 
“Get on your knees,” Steve grunted against your ear, growing impatient like his friend. 
When you didn’t move, Peter was the one to push you down onto the cold floor. You hiccuped, trying not to hyperventilate as they overwhelmed you from each side. As they all started to pull down their clothes, you made one final attempt at trying to crawl away. 
Steve grabbed you by your throat, making your efforts futile, pushing your face towards his crotch. You felt it, hard and throbbing against your cheek, “Open up, don’t make this hard, doll,” Through the corner of your eye, you saw Bucky stroking his own length, waiting patiently for his turn. 
Steve grabbed you by your hair next, pressing your closed lips against his tip. He forced himself in your mouth, “There you go,” Steve grunted, pushing himself deeper, “Move that tongue around.”
Steve Rogers could make your life a living hell in the Cage. Was this really the price you had to pay in order to survive here? You couldn’t imagine it being any worse than this but Steve could make that possible. That’s why you started to swirl your tongue like he said, deciding that their orgasms would end your pain. 
Bucky was much rougher than Steve, pinching your nose closed and enjoying watching your eyes widen and water. He practically touched the back of your throat and still commanded you to stroke Peter and Steve’s cocks with your hands while you took him in your mouth. Somehow, you managed. 
Peter was much more gentle and you were grateful for that. His hands rested softly on the back of your head, guiding your mouth slowly up and down his length, “God, this is awesome,” He cursed, his head tilting back as he enjoyed the stimulation. When he finally finished, his warmth filled your mouth and before you could spit or catch your breath, Bucky grabbed you again. 
He came so far down your throat that you were forced to swallow it but, unlike him, Steve took his time, “This little mouth. Is ours. Every single hole. Is ours. No one else, do you understand?” With each sentence, he thrust hard until he filled your mouth. You leaned over, coughing as you felt the stinging of your sore throat. 
You were about to collapse onto the dirty cold floor when gentle arms lifted you up into a broad chest. You found yourself not fighting, only pressing your face into Bucky’s chest as you began to sob. 
Steve didn’t have to say anything more. You understand your new position and there wasn’t anyone else there to save you from that fate. 
That night you learned there was a change to your cell assignment. You’d sleep in Steve’s arms, a little bird that was safe and protected in it’s cage. 
+
hope you enjoyed!! i’m posting this instead of sleeping because I have class in this morning :) 
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egcdeath · 3 years
Text
cabin fever
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pairing: ransom x female!reader 
warnings: very cheesy and unrealistic. lots of fluff, your teeth might fall out. strangers to lovers
summary: when a nasty snow storm ruins your girls trip to a ski lodge, you have to... adapt to your interesting new roommate. 
word count: 2.7k
a/n: and there was only one bed…. oh my god there was only one bed…. 
Come on, they said. A girls trip would be fun, they said. You all needed a break from your routine and work, they said. Who doesn’t wanna kick off their New Year on vacation, they said. Of course, that was all before you arrived at a remote, overbooked resort in the middle of nowhere, hours after your friends’ flights had been cancelled due to an incoming horrendous snow storm.
Now, you stood near the counter in the lobby, biting back tears as you began to desperately rake your brain for solutions to the bizarre issue you were facing.
“God damnit, don’t you know who I am?” a deep voice at the desk thundered.
“Of course, Mr. Drysdale, but you know that we can’t just give this room up to you in conditions like this,” the poor hotel employee told him, trying to keep his composure. “We have way too many clients for you to get a room like this all by yourself!” After hearing this remark, this ‘Mr. Drysdale’ character, who didn’t seem much older than you were, grit his teeth, leaned his head back, and groaned exasperatedly.
You tried not to be too nosy, but it was nearly impossible not to look over at the dramatic scene that was playing out next to you. A grown man, throwing some sort of hissy fit about not getting a room. Luckily for you, he glanced in your direction at the perfect moment to make an uncomfortable eye contact, and suddenly, his annoyed look turned into a devilish smirk.
Oh no.
“Well, lucky for you, I’m not here all by myself. In fact, my girlfriend is right over there,” he tilted his head to gesture to you. Oh no. This was much worse than you anticipated. When you saw that smirk, you thought that maybe he’d hit on you, maybe even catch you at the bar and make some crude offer to you. You didn’t think he’d be using you in order to get a room.
“Oh, I-” you stuttered, not even knowing where to begin. What the hell was going on? You could barely process the last 5 hours of your life, let alone the scenario you’d just been tossed into.
“Alright, Mr. Drysdale. Sorry about the inconvenience.” The hotel employee didn’t even bother hiding his annoyance as he looked down and began to type on the computer. The man looked back over to you, gave you a little chuckle, then moved a bit closer to you so that he could wrap an arm around you.
You were honestly at a loss for words. What the fuck was happening? Maybe you were asleep. There was no way that this was all real. You were incapable of fighting this situation, or even arguing with this man. To be honest, he was pretty handsome. And it seemed like you two were getting one of the last rooms in the whole lodge, so at least you wouldn’t be sleeping on a couch in the lobby until the snow storms stopped.
“Alright, Hugh, Here’s your key. 2C.” The employee bit the inside of his cheek, enjoying the tiny win of calling the bothersome man a name he hated. Hugh? Really? You thought to yourself while rolling your suitcase away, and keeping up the act of being some stranger’s girlfriend until the pair of you reached the elevator.
As you two stood in silence, the weight of your actions began to sink in. What the hell did you just sign yourself up for? For all you know, this Hugh dude could be a murderer. Or a rapist. Or a crazy murderer rapist. You began to envision your name as the title of some True Crime podcast. ‘The Ski Lodge Slaughter of Y/N L/N.’ You began to feel yourself sweat under your winter coat.
“So, your name?” Hugh asked you casually, as if he hadn’t taken you more or less against your will. He basically kidnapped you. Oh god, ‘The Kidnapping and Killing of Y/N.’ Hugh looked down at you and quirked a brow. “My God, loosen up. You look like you’ve just seen a ghost!” He laughed. You debated whether or not to even tell this man your real name, but in a split irrational decision, you blurted it out.
“Y/N,” you said, then grimaced after. “Hey, don’t try anything funny on my guy,” you warned, trying to sound tough, but probably not sounding like it. “I have pepper spray on me, and I know your full name. No funny business, Hugh Drysdale.” You warned.
You watched as Hugh’s face went through a rollercoaster of emotions, but the general theme of which being amusement. You swore he stifled a laugh as the two of you exited the elevator and walked through the rather cozy halls. The pair of you stopped in front of a pine door labelled 2C.
“How about you call me Ransom,” he told you before opening the door to your home for at least the next week.
----
You spent the first few minutes in your suite looking around at all the luxuries it offered. It was essentially an apartment, and saying you were impressed was an understatement. The space was truly beautiful, with views like nothing you’d ever seen before. The master bedroom overlooked a mountain, the bathroom was massive and gorgeous, the balcony contained a hot tub, and the living room held a massive fireplace. There was only one problem.
There was just one bed.
Maybe you could sleep in the living room or something. It was definitely large enough. You were simmering deep in your thoughts while staring out the main window in the living room when you heard the words of your new roommate.
“It’s nice right?” He asked while coming to stand next to you.
“Yeah,” you agreed.
“We used to come here every year, you know.”
“Oh really?” you replied, trying to sound intrigued in order to stay on his good side in the event that he actually was a murderer. “Like, you and your family? Or like, you and your friends..?”
“My family,” he looked away from the window and at you. “I can assure you, it’s always this nice.”
You looked up at him and tried to ignore the fact that you felt like you were a character in a Hallmark movie. “Why’d you stop?” you inquired, and he shrugged before turning away. You honestly felt kinda bad for the guy, even if he was just a random stranger. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I was supposed to be here with my friends. But their flights got cancelled because of some impending snow storm.”
You swore you heard a faint chuckle as Ransom began to walk into the bedroom. “That is pretty funny,” he confirmed before you heard the door close. Rude. You thought to yourself, before sitting down on the sofa in the middle of the room, and trying to find a show to hold you over.
----
The flight must’ve taken more out of you than you initially thought, because you woke up early in the morning with a blanket lazily draped over you, and a sharp pain in your back. You dug into your pocket and checked the time on your partially charged phone. Unsurprisingly, it was way-too-early-to-be-awake-o’clock. Damn jet lag. You tossed the blanket off yourself and figured that if you were awake, you may as well be eating something good. Shuffling into the kitchenette, you found a room service menu, and ordered enough for a small army. It wasn’t like you were paying for the food in the first place.
Sometime after your food arrived, Ransom walked into the room as well, and sat across from you at the table. “Morning babe, what’d you get us?” He asked playfully before popping a strip of bacon into his mouth.
You couldn’t help but to quirk your lips. You were kind of annoyed that he hadn’t even attempted to offer you the bedroom and left you to sleep on an uncomfortable couch, but his playful demeanor was infectious. “Basically everything, babe, hope you don’t mind the tab.” You gave him a little smirk as you lifted a mug of coffee to your lips.
“Not a problem, babe. How’d you know I’d wake up with an appetite this big?” He continued to banter with you.
“I just know my baby so well,” you giggled, then abruptly stopped when you noticed Ransom was not exactly laughing along with you. “Uhm, I’m gonna go take shower,” you said quickly before standing up, pushing your chair in, then escaping to the bathroom.
----
Your awkward interaction had been about a day ago, but luckily you hadn’t had any moments like that since. Some time in the afternoon, you sat back down on the sofa and cuddled into your own little corner. A bit later, Ransom joined you on the opposite end of the couch, and the two of you sat in a comfortable silence while watching reruns of classic Christmas movies ever since.
You were honestly shocked at how fast you and Ransom warmed up to each other, and how quickly you’d let down your (nearly nonexistent) guard. But to be fair, what girl had the willpower to resist the kinds of baby blues in his eyes? And his slightly overly confident, yet funny personality was quickly growing on you. Not to mention the way he was wearing the shit out of every sweater he put on. You couldn’t help but to daydream about the man while a pot in the kitchenette warmed up the milk for your hot chocolates.
“Hurry up, babe,” he whined from the sofa, to which you rolled your eyes. What a brat.
“On my way, dear,” you giggled, before finishing up the drinks and bringing him a mug. “You know, I really didn’t know what to expect when you basically kidnapped me,” you stated while sitting down.
“Haven’t you had fun? I mean, I know we can’t really go out in this kind of weather, but I like to think of myself as a fun guy.” he took a sip of the drink, then reeled at the heat’s assault on his tongue.
“I mean, I never really saw myself having as much fun with a stranger as I did when we played Uno last night,” you gave Ransom a shy smile.
“That was pretty great,” he nodded in agreement, and returned your smile with a lopsided grin.
“You know, I really expected you to be a dick. I’ve never seen someone make as big of a scene as you did in the lobby those days ago,” you snickered, then let your laugh die away when you saw Ransom press his lips together, furrow his brows, and stand. “What?” you asked with concern laced in your voice.
“Goodnight, Y/N,” he said dryly before walking off to the bedroom. This man and his Goddamn mood swings. You set down your mug, and cuddled into the quilt covering your body before attempting to go to sleep.
--
You awoke to a loud thud, and the sensation of goosebumps prickling all over your skin as a visceral reaction to the frigid cold that had suddenly taken over the suite.
“What the fuck,” you’d heard a groggy voice say from the bedroom. Ransom shuffled out of the room, and stood in the hall leading to the living room while pointing an accusatory finger at you. “Did you do this?” he slurred slightly, words heavy from sleep.
“No!” you pouted. “I just woke up in the same freezer as you!” You sat up, and stretched your arms while you tried to think of a reason why it was suddenly so cold in your suite. Maybe the employees were playing a prank on their least favorite tenant. Maybe the furnace was broken. Either way, you were both cold as hell, and couldn’t find a solution. You only had so many blankets. Suddenly, something came to you.
“Go back to your room, asshole,” you said quietly before wiping the sleep out of your eyes. Ransom obliged, and you began your search for as many toasty clothing articles you could manage. Luckily, you were smart when packing, and made sure to bring plenty of cable knit sweaters with you. In your tired haze, you clumsily threw the articles of clothing on, then began your trek to the bedroom.
“What are you doing here?” Ransom asked while pulling on another sweater, seemingly having the same idea as you.
“Get in the bed,” you demanded, before flopping in the bed next to him and yawning. You nearly moaned at the comfort of a real bed, rather than a sofa, but filtered yourself. “Cuddle me. We’ll be like little penguins.” You whispered sleepily, already feeling more relaxed at the heat radiating off your bed partner.
There was not one word of complaint coming from Ransom as he threw a strong arm around you, then buried his nose in your hair. “‘Night, Y/N,” he told you, his voice trailing off.
Even in your sleepy haze, your heart rate quickened when you realized that the two of you fit together like puzzle pieces.
----
In the morning, you woke up to a soft, yet empty bed. The heat was now clearly back on, and the heat was definitely back on in your face when you began to recall last night’s events.
----
That day was more of the same for you, watching shitty Rom Coms, over-indulging on room service, playing endless rounds of chess, and even more card games. Neither of you addressed the furnace sized elephant in the room of your late-night cuddle session, and you honestly hoped to keep it that way.
Sometime between a game of Solitaire and Crazy, Stupid, Love, you fell fast asleep, and were surprised when you woke up without the crick in your back, and deeply inhaling the scent of pine.
After you’d drifted off, Ransom had decided to carry you into his bedroom. You just looked way too peaceful to have to spend another night in your sofa hole. He set you down on the bed, pulled the comforter over your body, then gave you a quick peck on your forehead.
“What the fuck,” He wondered quietly out loud to himself.
----
Cabin fever was beginning to eat at you and Ransom, and apparently, there was no better way to battle that than to drink excessively. It started when you added a bit of Bailey’s to your hot chocolates, and only escalated as you spent the night raiding the minibar.
After a few too many shots, you grabbed your phone and hit shuffle on a random playlist on your phone. “Come dance with me,” you giggled, pushing his hand away from a bottle of Grey Goose, and grabbing it instead. The pair of you stumbled over each others’ feet for a few minutes, before waltzing into the bedroom together and plopping clumsily onto the bed as a unit, with you straddling Ransom’s thin waist.
“I can’t believe I’m spending New Year’s Eve with you,” you leaned down and spoke into his face. “Imagine if I wasn’t so dumb, and I didn’t go along with your stupid plan to get this room,” your nose was basically pressed into Ransom’s at this point. You looked deep into his eyes, and he was quiet for a moment.
“Y/N, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life,” he commented out of the blue, reaching up to rub his thumb on your flushed cheek.
“Shut up,” you averted your gaze. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
“Yeah?” He asked raspily.
“Yeah,” you agreed, setting your hand on top of his hand that sat on your cheek.
The sound of fireworks being shot off in the distance briefly caught both of your attention, leading you to look out the window for a moment, before looking back at each other.
“Happy New Year, Y/N,” you were quickly pulled into a sweet, passionate kiss.
And honestly, you couldn’t think of a better way to start the year.
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Text
I don’t have a good reason (Bucky x depressed reader)
I don’t have a reason (Based loosely on Close the Door, by Beth Crowley)
Bucky barnes x reader
Word count 2316
Warnings: depression, tears, isolation, feeling worthless
Summary: Reader is depressed and tries to hide it from the rest of the team. But Bucky knows the signs all too well of someone who’s not doing well.
-----------------
“Night guys,” you said, smiling and waving to the rest of the Avengers. You had all gathered to watch a movie and you excused yourself for the night, saying you were tired. It was all fun and games. You appreciate everyone’s commentary about how unrealistic the fight scenes were. You all agreed about the mistakes that were made and had fun berating the movie.
But despite you trying to kid yourself, you couldn’t lie to your own mind, you wanted to be having fun, but you weren’t. 
You didn’t know exactly when it started, the bleak numbness that consumed you a little more each day. You turned your back on the others as they wished you good night, and dropped your plastered on smile as you rounded the corner. You didn’t have to pretend if no one was there.
You were walking up to your room, each step wearing you more out than the last. You felt tears prick your eyes but you didn’t know why. Not that you really cared. You opened your door and turned around to close it, surprised to see that Bucky wasn’t far behind you.
You paused at your door, and he greeted you. You put your smile back on, willing the tears away for now. Though you were sure it wasn’t nearly as convincing as the one you had worn all day. “What’s up Buck?” you asked. 
He stood in front of you, looking to either side of him to make sure you were alone. “Are you okay?”
You shook your head and tried to look surprised. “Yeah,” you added a laugh. “Just tired I guess.”
He crossed his arms, searching your face for a crack you hoped you had hidden. You didn’t want to have this conversion, not yet, not here. He asked agaiN, “Are you sure you’re alright? You just -”
“Buck, I swear, it’s just exhaustion. I should get to bed. Good night.” you said, shutting the door. You leaned back against it and held your breath, waiting to hear him walk away. You heard him sigh after a few moments, probably running a hand through his long hair, and you eventually heard him walk away. 
You sighed and sank to the floor, finally letting your guard down. You didn’t know why you didn’t want the others to know, you trusted them with your life. You wish you could tell them the truth and show them who you were behind closed doors, but you were terrified that if they really saw who you were that they’d hate you as much as you had come to hate yourself.
You felt the tears come, and again, you had no idea why they did. You didn’t really care anymore. Knowing why they were there wouldn’t stop them from falling. You just buried your head in between your knees and tried to contain the sobs that were causing your shoulders to shake. 
You didn’t even know why you were so upset. Nothing big had happened, there were no tragic events in your life, and everyone you knew was healthy and most of the time happy. You didn’t have a reason to be so down. And you didn’t know what had caused you to hate yourself so much. You had been a confident person up until sometime in the past few months. You were doubting yourself even though you had no reason to. 
Maybe that’s why you didn’t want to tell anyone. You couldn’t explain it, and you knew that anyone on the team would want an explanation that you couldn’t provide. 
Sometimes you just wanted someone to notice. You wanted to scream sometimes “Can’t you see that I’m not okay? Don’t you fucking notice??” But you also knew that you hid it really well. And you couldn’t be too angry with them. Bucky had just asked if you were okay and you shut the door in his face.
You sighed in frustration. Your own mind wasn’t making sense anymore. How were you supposed to deal with your own shit when you didn’t even know what you were thinking?
You sat there for a while. How long, again, you didn’t care. You just cried until your body couldn’t anymore from exhaustion. Only then could you stand to walk over to your bed. You stumbled a bit at first, trying to find your balance, but then you walked the 10 steps to your bed and fell into it. You didn’t bother to put on anything more comfortable. It wouldn’t help you sleep any better, and you were tired enough to sleep standing up if you had to.
You stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes. Could things get any worse than they were now? You supposed they could in your environment. Something could happen to someone on the team, a mission could go wrong, something along those lines. But you didn’t think it was possible for your mind to become any darker than it was.
You closed your eyes and prayed you would rest peacefully tonight. Sleep evaded you, often playing a game of hide and seek with your mind and body. You could find it impossible to keep your eyes open but yet you couldn’t fall asleep. It always confused you why your mind was so keen on keeping you awake to endure it’s torture. Like you didn’t get enough of that when you were conscious.
Tonight was one of those nights.
You tossed and turned for longer than you would’ve liked, thinking various self-deprecating thoughts and assumptions about how the team would react if they found out. There was no best case scenario in your mind. 
Eventually you did fall asleep, but it was later (or earlier) than you would have wanted to. Luckily there was nothing on the books for you until the afternoon, so you slept for as long as you could. Even though you slept until noon, you still wanted to get a few more hours than you did. But that would have to wait until you tried again tonight.
You sat up and tried to wipe the sleep from your eyes. Standing, you walk to your bathroom and turn on the shower, hoping the hot water would help jolt you awake. And if not, then you would turn the temperature all the way down. That always did the trick in desperate times.
When you finished you walk back into your room, deciding to dress down in sweatpants and a loose T-shirt. You paused in front of your door and took a few breaths, psyching yourself to put a smile on your face before you opened the door. You never left without it. You were trying to be everything that they wanted and needed you to be.
Turning the knob, you walk down the hallway and through the living area to the kitchen. There wasn’t anyone in your sights, and you shrugged it off. They were either in the gym, the lab, or out to enjoy the day. You wished you could do the same. 
Deciding it was safe enough to do so, you dropped the facade you had put on. No use in wasting your energy if you didn’t have to pretend for anyone. You opened up the fridge and pulled out the orange juice, not feeling up to eating anything solid but knowing you needed something to kickstart your system.
Reaching for a glass, you turned around and started pouring. You rubbed a hand over your tired face. How were you sleeping more and yet the days were growing longer?
“Hey, something wrong?”
You jumped a little, not having heard anyone come in. you look up to see that it was Bucky, and he had obviously just come from the gym. You tugged the corners of your lips up and shook your head. “Yeah, I’m good. Just didn’t sleep well last night.”
He laughed gently. “Is that why you got up so late?”
You chuckled before raising your eyebrows. “I suppose so, Barnes.”
You took a sip before looking back at him. “You sure you’re okay doll?”
You faltered for a moment. Did you really want to tell him? Maybe it would be nice to have someone try and understand. But you quickly shook off the thought. “Why wouldn’t I be?” you ask instead.
He shrugged and shook his head lightly. “It just seems like something’s bothering you. Whenever I ask if you’re okay you say you’re tired, yet you never look like you’re getting any sleep. I just want to know if there's anything I can do.”
You looked down and tapped your finger on the counter. He seemed genuine, and you wanted to trust him. You really did. But you were so scared that he’d see you the way that you saw yourself.
Nothing. 
Worthless
Useless
“Y/n?”
Shit, you must have spaced out. You tried a smile again, but you knew it was growing weaker. You had to get out of there. “No, I’m good. Thank you though, I appreciate it,” you said, making your way to the doorway. You heard your voice waiver and you prayed that he hadn’t noticed, but the sound of footsteps behind you confirmed that he was on to you.
Getting to your door, you knew you couldn’t say anything else without completely breaking down, so you tried to close the door behind you, but you felt something stop it. Bucky was standing in the doorway, hand against the door. 
You kept your eyes downcast, fearing that he would see the pain behind the lies or the tears that were forming in them. You tried to shut the door again but it was no use, since he was, in fact, a super soldier. 
“Please tell me what’s going on.” he said gently, stepping into the room.
You turn your back to him and cross your arms over your chest. Your breath was even but shaky, you would not have a panic attack in the presence of someone else. You felt a hand on your shoulder and you tensed, wanting to give in so badly but so afraid of what he’d think or say. How did you even let yourself crack this much?
You suddenly made a move for your bathroom, planning to shut Bucky out again, but he stopped the door before you could, again. “Don’t try and shut me out.” he said. You kept your back to him, afraid to show the panic spreading across your face. “It’s okay to have emotions. You don’t have to hide from me.”
You shook your head and said softly, “I don’t have the answers you’re looking for.”
“What are you talking about y/n?”
You turned around and met his gaze, worried about lacing his features when he saw the tears in your eyes. “I don’t even know what’s going on with me. I can’t explain it.” you let a few tears run down your cheeks as you shook your head. “I just know I’m not okay.”
You started crying harder and Bucky didn’t hesitate to pull you into his arms. Your hands curled up and were pressed between both of your chests, and you buried your head into his shoulder. He held you tightly, being your anchor right now. 
The words just started tumbling out of your mouth and you couldn’t stop them. “I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why I’m such a mess. I just started feeling so empty and like nothing mattered. I fall apart once I’m behind closed doors and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”
“Why didn’t you say anything, doll?” he asked.
You shook your head. “I wanted to, I really did. I don’t know, I just…” you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. “I was afraid you would see me the way that I see myself. That if you knew the mess that I am you would leave me far behind.”
“Hey,” he started. “Don’t you ever think like that. First of all, we all love you here and there’s nothing that could change that. You’re a part of the team, and teams stick together. It’s okay to have emotions, it’s okay to not be strong all the time, it’s okay to break down, and it’s okay to not have a reason for any of it. Sometimes that’s how emotions work, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And there’s certainly nothing wrong with you.”
You tried to swallow the new lump forming in your throat. You shook your head against him. “I’m sorry Buck”
You felt him shake his head. “You don’t have to be. But you don’t have to be alone in this either.”
You sniffled a little and asked tentatively, “So you’re not going to leave?”
You felt him laugh a little. “Unfortunately, doll, you’re stuck with me. There’s nothing you can do about it. Push me away, shut all the doors, I’m not going anywhere.”
You laughed a little and pulled back, looking up at him. “Thank you, Buck.”
He half-smiled at you. “Anytime.”
You took a deep breath before asking, “So now what?”
“Well,” he started, “I say we just spend the rest of the day watching movies and relaxing, but I’m not sure if you had better plans.” he looked at you with his eyebrows raised.
You laughed again. “No, shockingly, I don’t. That sounds good to me.”
The two of you spent the rest of the day movie-marathoning it sitting on your bed. You started leaning against the headboard, but eventually made your way curled up into Bucky, him with his arm around you. At some point you had fallen asleep, and you drifted off into the most peaceful rest you had ever had.
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pastaaa-bird · 3 years
Text
(Um l'll start off by saying this was meant to be my second post, first being explain what is this AU exactly
SO UH to keep this short it's a sitcom/ sorta drama like world with running gags and the fact that every student is from a different country and follows some of their stereotypes is the idea behind it
just very slice of life with unrealistic tv scenarios
These might be a ooc? Then again their my interpretation of them as human teenagers so please don't take this seriously
Random Character info for my Hetalia highschool Au with picrew pictures as references
Bad friend trio edition
Gilbert
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Is functioning on so many energy drinks, sleep? Ha no
He/they bi legend
Transmasc because l said so, l think he would be off and on about his pronouns though, sometimes just they/them, sometimes he thinks he should just use he/him. Reconsiders she/her, but for the most part he ends up with he/they. I don't think he would bother telling most people this. Expect for his closest two friend and his brothers
Seems to be scary but is actually a whole entire DORK, if you were to ask him about whatever he is currently interested in he will gladly rant to you like narrator to the opening of an action movie- very dramatic and engaging
Smart guyyyyy, does very well acadamically especially in history as it is his favourite but has a reputation for being a loss in class for chatting, fidgeting with pens or pencils and just overall seems to not pay attention
In seriousness he does also educate himself on lgbtq issues and histor, probable the head of those GSA things
Thinks they can sing...they can't, they does play the bass and drums well though-and air guitar of course. Ludwig has to deal with hearing them loudly singing either a pop or indie song in the shower :,)
Francis
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Pan icon
Very flirty and it can come off super cheesy but a lot people think he's smooth with his flirting
Dirty jokes 24/7 from literally anything, it's gotten to a point where he just looks at someone when something that could be made into a dirty joke is said/happens and they just know what he is thinking
Preppy boy who wears blouses or fashionable boarding school-like blazers with an entire closet just for scarfs
Knows at least one thing about everyone, keeps up with the drama and updates a confused Antonio regularly something like "A:Hey, Hannah! F*pulls A aside and whispers: Don't talk to her, she the one who made a fake account for Madeline to bully her A: Oh fuck, okay" while the rest of the entire school already knows about what she did, Francis is a good friend👍
Is the guy who distracts the teacher by asking questions about their life when they mention something like "oh l went there on holidays btw", que Francis going "Really Sir? I've always wanted to go there, when did you go?" followed up by a 20 minute convo
Half his personality is making fun of the English- especially around Arthur whenever he can
Antonio
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Bi legend
Himbo-just straight up a himbo, human version of "he's a little confused by he's got the spirit" like when Elizabetha told him that she's a trans girl and Antonio thought that meant she's ftm so he proudly said "Oh that's great! So proud of you, man :D" (yes he got corrected and apologised lol)
Reallyyyyyy likes soccer, and gets way too perfectionist with it, think him constantly retrying a certain move until he's convinced it's the best
FOOD- constantly hungry and yet always remains skinny enough but tbh he doesn't really eat junk food so that helps
Energy bars,always has them, drinks protein that Gil tried before since Antonio seemed to love it- but immediately spat it out with disgust while Antonio was sat there happily drinking his glass
His grades are ehhhh rusty to say the least, he tries working on them sometimes but they are not his strong suit. Gil tried hosting study nights to help Francis and Antonio but it just ended up like a regular sleep over. Alfred ends up helping him study in this imaginary series of mine :)
Can actually be quite intimidating when he wants to oh and a lot of girls find him attractive when he is and just overall always but of course he's oblivious
Things about them all
Friends since middle school! :) All happened to be a foreign kid who moved to America(ranges from 3 years old to 7 years old)
Tried making secret hand shake more then once but they always messed it up
Hypes eachother up for both dumb/not dumb decisions
despite growing up to be- v e r y different from one another they have a great dynamic and chemistry
They totally give eachother ironic gifts/cards for occasions,think "Congratulations on your wedding!"cards for birthdays and a guide for first time pregnant people for christmas
Basically bully eachother with their insults but it's always in good intention banter, mention how they would die for one another and also say how much of a bitch they think the other is in the same convo
Andddddd finally one random thing about them all,they all REALLY want to learn how to sword fight cuz WOOO it looks fun and cool. Maybe they do actually learn to in one episode? I think it would be funny for a B plot. While other characters are going through some dramatic event, there's the three of them learning how to sword fight with much trial and error
Oh! and here's credit for the picrew pictures :p
https://picrew.me/image_maker/457566
Thanks for reading :)
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kindofcashton · 4 years
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𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕕  •  chapter 18  (Calum Hood AU)
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IT TOOK AWHILE for the shock to subside before I could even think of moving.  I stayed rooted to the spot, gazing out at where Calum had disappeared and left me behind.  The sun was finally gone from the sky, bathing me in a cool darkness that made me shudder.  I kept hoping to see the headlights of a familiar red mustang approach, willing him to come back to me.  But as the seconds dragged on, I knew this hope was futile.
Scrambling for my phone, I called an uber and hugged my knees to my chest as I waited on a bench.  My mind was oddly empty, despite what had just happened.  I suppose I was numb to Calum’s betrayals at this point; his leaving me in the dust was hardly a surprise.
With my head in my hands, I didn’t even hear the uber pull up until the driver rolled down the window and hollered, “Hey!  I’m here!”
Throwing myself into the backseat, I mumbled a faint greeting and closed my eyes.  The driver clearly thought I was a mess, and he thankfully stayed quiet for the entire ride.  My head tilted against the cool glass window, and I felt nausea rise in my stomach.  Everything from my heart to my head to my stomach was hurting; Calum inflicted full-body pain.  I couldn’t imagine walking through the front door, what fury waited for me at home.  Surely he’d yell some more, insult me until he was blue in the face.  And I would take it, because I knew I was putty in his hands.  One kiss would make me forget all about the pain I felt now.
I was surprised to see the driveway empty of his mustang when I finally arrived home.  It shouldn’t have been a shock that he didn’t come home, but for some reason I was crushed by disappointment.  Yet again I had unrealistic expectations about Calum.  I half-expected him to be waiting on the front porch for me, ready to bare his soul in an apology.
No one was waiting for me, and I entered the dark house alone.
Everyone was asleep, so no one would realize the destruction that occurred tonight.  I refused to let my thoughts wander as I showered and got ready for bed, bile rising in my throat when I glanced into Calum’s empty room.  My head hit the pillow, but I knew I would not be sleeping tonight.  Anxiety gnawed at me, making me think up a million scenarios of where Calum was right now.  Asleep in his car on the side of the road?  Hunched over a bar, drowning his sorrows in whiskey?  Or was he in another girl’s bed, kissing her lips and feeling her skin and giving her his heart?
Needless to say, it was a fitful night’s sleep.  The next morning I must have looked particularly awful, because Luke asked what had happened to me.  I truncated the truth, explaining that Calum and I got in an argument and he ditched me after we got dinner.  Luke was angry at Calum for abandoning me, but I just waved his sympathy off.
“It’s fine, really.  He’s so hot and cold, I shouldn’t have been so surprised.”  I absent-mindedly stirred my coffee, still feeling queasy.
Michael had joined the conversation a few minutes before, and shook his head firmly now.  “No, it’s not.  He can’t just leave you on the side of the street.  What did you guys argue about anyway?”
I bit my lip, unprepared with an excuse.  “Er...something stupid.”  A thought crossed my mind, and I added, “I asked if he wanted dinner and he freaked out and thought it was a date.  I guess even after dinner he was still being weird about us being together, which we definitely are not.”  I felt satisfied with this, since it wasn’t exactly a lie.  Half-truths seemed to be my strong suit lately.
Luke frowned.  “Do you think he secretly wants to be together and was just trying to cover it up?”
I almost laughed; after the blowout, I knew Calum definitely did not want to be with me, but this was a nice sentiment.  “Maybe,” I answered with a shrug.  “I never know what he’s thinking.”
Michael snorted.  “None of us do, Scar.  We just roll with the punches.”
I feigned a smile, connecting my gaze with Hannah who was overhearing our conversation in the living room.  Her frown told me she knew there was more to the story than I’d said, but she knew better than to confront me in front of the guys.
The rest of the day was business as usual.  I had a shift at work, then a phone call with the community college about my admission.  Hannah and I dialed up a movie and ordered pizza when the guys went over to Ashton’s for the night, and so the two of us had a girl’s evening.  Hannah didn’t pry about Calum, but I did admit to her the fight was much more serious.  She told me not to worry, he always did this, but it didn’t ease my anxieties.
When I woke up the next morning, Calum was still missing.  No one had heard from him, and all their calls went straight to voicemail.  The guys didn’t seem nearly as worried as I was, but I forced these feelings down.  It’s fine, Scarlett.  Besides, he doesn’t deserve your attention.  For the rest of the day I forced him out of my mind, distracting myself with work and shopping with Hannah.  Luke and I ran errands after dinner, and I was grateful for his quiet, steady friendship.  Listening to him tell stories about work made me wonder what it would be like to be with a guy like him as opposed to Calum.  Luke was kind and open and incredibly understanding.  Calum was mean and closed off and impatient.  I still saw Luke as just a friend, but for a minute I let myself imagine a different guy who would actually treat me right.
The end of the second day came, and still no sign of Calum.  I knew when I woke up on the third day he’d still be AWOL, and my suspicions were proved correct at breakfast.
“All of his shit is here, he has to come back,” Ashton insisted, joining us for pancakes and waffles that Hannah made.  It was a lazy weekend day, none of us having work and deciding to get together for an extravagant breakfast.  As I tore at my pancakes with my fork rather than eat them, I tried to believe Ashton.  Calum would come back.  He’d have to.  And when he did, I could confront him and get some answers.  Until then, worrying was pointless.
But the pit of nerves inside me only deepened as the hours passed.  I faked plenty of smiles and forced a lot of laughs, but still I couldn’t banish the panic I felt.  More than that, I missed Calum.  Spending every night with someone had felt so good, and suddenly my bed was cold and empty and I yearned for his warmth.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna come?” Hannah asked again.  She and the guys decided to catch a late movie, and I declined their offer to come.  I felt physically sick with worry, and played it off like the pancakes that morning had me nauseous.
“No, I’m alright,” I told her.  “I don’t feel well, so I would hate to ruin the movie.”  I doubted Hannah believed me, but I knew she wouldn’t nag me any further.  I just needed a night to stew and hopefully get over myself.  
“Okay,” she said gravely, clearly unconvinced.  “Call me if you need anything, alright?”
I rolled my eyes, attempting humor.  “Yes, mom.”  She laughed and waved goodbye, and when the front door shut I was finally alone.
It turns out, isolation doesn’t do much to help with stress.  I could barely pay attention to the TV, and I was so queasy I didn’t even want to make dinner.  I just laid on the couch, watching shapes move on the screen but hearing nothing but a gentle droning in my mind.  It would be a long night.
At least that’s what I thought.  Maybe an hour after the others had left, I heard the door open with a bang.  Shooting up off the couch, I heard the stomping of a very disoriented person as they tried to close the door.
“Shit,” the person murmured, and my heart lurched; it was Calum.  Slowly making my way over, I folded my arms and prepared myself.
It was Calum.  He wore the same clothes as he had on the last time I saw him, but they were considerably more wrinkled and dirty looking.  His hair was a mess, and his eyes glinted wildly in the dark.  His staggered movements and overwhelming stench told me he was drunk.  Finally he got the door shut and leaned against it, exhausted from the effort.  His inebriated eyes found mine, swimming with alcohol.  I swallowed roughly, the nausea coming on again.
“Scarlett,” he slurred, raising his hands.  I saw a beer bottle in one of them, sloshing with dark liquid.  Calum’s gaze was shifty, and he struggled to stay standing.  He stumbled forward as if to embrace me, and I stepped back.  He saw this and pouted, swinging his arms out.  “What’re you doing, baby?  Didn’t you miss me?”
At that moment, the nausea and anxiety transformed into stone cold fury.  I set my jaw, glaring at him.  “Where the hell were you?” I demanded.  “It’s been three days, Calum.”
“Pssh, relax,” he chuckled, hiccuping.  “I just...wanted to have some fun.  You’re so wound-up and annoying, so I needed a break.”  I ignored his cruel words and closed my eyes, willing my breathing to relax.  Calum knew exactly how to work me up in the worst way.
“You reek,” I criticized.  “Go take a shower.”  Not wanting to be under his scrutinizing gaze any longer, I stormed up the stairs.  But he was hot on my heels, and I felt his warm breath hit my neck as I fled. 
Attempting to lock myself in my room, I turned to see Calum blocking my door.  “Why’re you so mad,” he slurred, eyes rolling.  “’S not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal?” I cried.  “You were missing for three days!  No one could get a hold of you!  None of us knew if you were alive or dead, Calum!”  I was furious at myself for reacting this way, but I was more furious at him for brushing it off.  He deserved to suffer after making me worry so much.
Calum didn’t reply to my yelling, only slumped against the door and took a swig of beer.  He finished the bottle and tossed it out into the hallway, exhaling loudly.  
Scowling, I tried to push him towards the bathroom.  “Come on, you need a shower.”  It took a lot of effort to lead him away from my room, and I finally sat him down on the toilet seat.  Flicking on the light and closing the door, I started the shower.  Calum watched my movements as I tested the temperature and adjusted the spout.  Crossing my arms, I gestured for him to get up.
“You seriously stink worse than a brewery.  I’m not talking to you until you shower.”  I didn’t even know if he wanted to talk, but he didn’t react when I brought it up which I guess was a good sign. 
Sighing, Calum closed his eyes against the harsh ceiling light and leaned back, kicking off his shoes but not moving to take off his shirt or jeans.
His head hitting the wall, Calum’s expression was suddenly very raw and vulnerable.  He looked broken, like a little boy rather than a grown man.  “It’s my dad,” he murmured, so quietly I almost missed it.  “He’s back, and they want me to see him.”  The bitterness in his voice hurt my heart; I couldn’t imagine the pain of learning someone he’d despised for so long was back in his family’s life.
He got angry all of a sudden, brows furrowing in fury.  “That’s not even all of it.  He’s been back for years.  My mother has known where he’s been for years, and only now do those bastards tell me.  I mean...what the fuck?”  He gripped at his curly hair, pulling it out of frustration.  His muscles were tense, and I hesitated before approaching.  He was like a wounded lion; pitiful and sad, but still capable of ripping me to shreds.
I knelt before him, resting my hand on his thigh.  Calum kept his face covered with his fists, breathing hard.  I breathed out a sigh, unsure of what to say.  “Showering will make you feel better,” I settled on, voice soft.  “Come on, get these dirty clothes off.”  I felt like a mother helping a little child, and a pang of hurt struck me when I wondered if Calum ever had anyone care for him like this before.
Gently, I helped him lift his arms so I could remove his shirt.  Being so close to him made me dizzy, and it was especially painful considering how drunk and angry he was at the world.  Calum might have made a lot of mistakes, but his life certainly didn’t make things easy.  I felt waves of pain rolling off of him, and as they absorbed into me I had to fight tears out of my eyes.
I tossed his soiled shirt to the floor, throat drying at the sight of his bare torso.  His eyes were glazed and looking at the floor, so I slowly grabbed his arm to make him stand.  Calum was like a zombie when I undid his belt, holding my breath as I slid his jeans down.  Undressing was such an intimate act, and I’d done it a dozen times with him before.  But this time, removing his clothes gave me no gratification.  Every inch of skin revealed was just more pain, and I stood up at last when he was only in his boxers.
“I think you can handle the rest,” I whispered, preparing to leave him in the bathroom.  As I turned I felt him grab my arm, his hand warm and firm.  Gasping, he pulled me to face him.
“Don’t go,” Calum begged under his breath, pulling me to his bare chest.  He reeked of alcohol and swayed with intoxication.  He’s drunk, that’s why he wants you, I reminded myself, tears pricking at my eyes.
“Calum--”
“No,” he interjected, holding me tight.  His forehead dropped to my own, our eyes closing as our breathing synced.  “Stay.  Stay with me.”
Lips parting, I gazed up at his desperate and pleading eyes, knowing full well I could not resist him.  So instead of fighting, I pulled my own shirt over my head, never breaking our gaze.  He watched me undress, expression full of emotion as I stripped down to my underwear.  He went to take off his boxers, and I unclasped my bra.
The shower was hot and steaming.  A waterfall of droplets fell onto Calum’s head, wetting his skin and only dampening me slightly.  I watched as water beads slid down his chest, making his skin glisten.  He held me in his arms and pulled me into his wet body, flipping us so the water streamed over me now.  Leaning my head back, I let the rainfall cascade over my face and neck, wetting my hair and leaving crystals of moisture all over me.
Calum’s warm hands slid up and down my body, grazing over my breasts and my hips until he settled on my waist, tilting his head down to capture my lips with his own.  This kiss was incredibly different from the others we’d shared; his lips were earnest and gentle, the usual fiery passion now a lulled heat.  Soft fingers rested on my cheeks, and I pushed my own through his wet curls.  I felt him harden against my thigh, and he leaned back to press his lips to my jaw.  I closed my eyes, relishing the wet heat as he dragged down my neck, biting lightly and causing a moan to rise from my mouth.
His strong body pushed me against the shower wall, and naturally my leg lifted to wrap around his waist.  This caused my center to spread, and I felt his cock slide against my heat deliciously.
I was breathing hard as Calum sucked on my neck, hands splayed out across his wide back as I pulled him closer to me.  One of his hands rested by my head on the wall, the other sliding over my abdomen until he reached where I was aching for him.  I felt his palm slide across my core, collecting the moisture there and letting it mingle with the shower water.  Moaning, I gripped his hair tighter and sloppily kissed his ear, breathing statically with each move of his hand.
His fingers dipped and circled in my folds, finding my clit and pressing on the sensitive bundle of nerves.  My hips bucked into his, and I moved my own hands lower so I could reach him.  As he worked my clit, I found his cock and slid a wet hand along his shaft, causing his breath to hitch.
“Oh, Scarlett,” he groaned, the words like music to my ears.  I worked his length slowly, running my fingers over his swollen tip and feeling him twitch in my palm.  As we pleasured each other, our moans twined together and our lips fumbled in a kiss.  I was close to my edge, and judging from how stiff he was I knew Calum was as well.
The fact that we didn’t have a condom flitted across my mind, and I leaned back to connect my eyes with his.  But what I saw there took my breath away; Calum was looking at me like he never had before.  Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the steam from the shower, but I swore he was looking at me like I created the whole world.
Exhaling softly, I reconnected our lips, forgetting my inhibitions and wanting only to feel him inside of me.  He understood my unspoken desire perfectly, lining up with my entrance.  I felt his tip press into me, and almost cried out from the teasing feeling.
Hooking an arm around his neck, I tilted my hips forward so he pressed in even more, causing my eyes to roll back.  Calum got the hint, and with one flick of his hips he was inside of me.
I would never get used to the feeling of him.  The stretch was unlike any I’d ever experienced, his body fitting with mine like a puzzle piece.  The angle was entirely new since we were standing in the shower, and as he slid out of me I braced for the feeling of reentry.  Sure enough, when he rocked back inside I felt fireworks of pleasure explode inside my body.  Somehow he was hitting even deeper than when we were in bed, and I had to hold on for him for support as he thrusted.
“God, shit,” I cried out, sucking on his ear while he snapped his hips up inside of me.  I was barely staying vertical, the feeling too overwhelming as my knees buckled.  Calum’s strong hands wrapped under my bum, lifting me up so he could thrust harder and my body weight was pushed against the wall.  I wrapped my legs around him, inviting him deeper inside of me.
Without the layer of a condom between us, I could really feel him.  Somehow I felt closer to him this way, truly connected.  No barriers were in the way, and feeling him slide against my walls was a euphoria I would surely become addicted to.
Wet skin rubbed against wet skin, and my nails grazed down the wide expanse of his back.  Calum’s breath washed over my face, his lips parted and eyes closed in bliss.  I let the pure sensations take over, my mind clear of anything except the pleasure he was giving me.
I was nearing my end as his thrusts increased, and my breasts pushed into his chest as I panted.  Calum gripped my ass harder, pushing faster and deeper to deliver us both to our orgasms.  One last thrust hit just the right spot, and a tight ball of pleasure evaporated into sizzling bliss that soaked through every inch of my body.  Just when Calum neared his end he pulled out of me, letting the spurt of white liquid land on my abdomen.  His moans of ecstasy filled my ears, and I clasped his wet body to mine.
We both took a minute to come down from our highs, and finally I opened my eyes to meet his.  Calum gently let my feet hit the floor, and I used my hands to steady myself against him.  Gazing down at me, Calum pushed a lock of wet hair behind my ear.
Wordlessly, I grabbed the soap and began sliding it across his torso.  Calum watched silently as I cleaned him, washing away his pain and letting it spin down the drain.  Next was the shampoo, and I ran my fingers through his curls with a frown.  Calum kissed my down-turned lips, just a light ghosting of contact, and it eased some of the tension in my shoulders.
We washed each other in the scalding water until we stood clean and rejuvenated.  I couldn’t tell if Calum was still drunk, but his expression was definitely clearer than it had been before.  I didn’t know how I felt about what just happened; on the one hand, Calum and I were never closer or more open with one another than when we were having sex.  On the other, if his drunken haze was the only reason he wanted to do it, then it was meaningless.
Refusing to dwell, I stepped out of the shower after switching off the water.  Wrapping myself in a towel, I padded out of the bathroom, thinking that this was it.  But Calum only went to his room for fresh clothes before joining me in mine.  I was unsure how to feel about this; secretly I was overjoyed, but outwardly I remained stoic.  I pulled on a pair of panties and was about to find a shirt when Calum gave me one of his.  Avoiding his eyes, I pulled it over my head.
He wore only a pair of sweatpants, and my legs were bare save for the underwear.  Tentatively, I slid into bed and pulled the covers tightly over myself.  Sensing my trepidation, Calum hesitated before joining me.  Naturally, of course, our bodies moved towards each other until I was laying in his arms, curled against his chest and relishing the gentle stroking of his hand on my back.
We must have laid there forever before either of us spoke.  I didn’t know if I actually wanted to confront him, or if it was time to distance myself and let him go.  But then the sound of his broken voice and the sight of his pain-filled eyes flashed through my brain, and I sighed.  I couldn’t let go of Calum if I tried.
Twisting my neck to look at his face, I said softly, “So what are you going to do?”  About your dad, I wanted to add, but I knew he understood my meaning.  Saying those particular words out loud would’ve hurt even more.
Calum took a deep breath, chest rising underneath my cheek.  I curled my fingers around his bicep, worried he was going to flee.  But he merely shrugged, eyes staring at some point in the wall.
“Nothing,” came his simple answer.  “I don’t want anything to do with them.”
This is what I expected.  I didn’t blame Calum for resenting his parents, especially after years of lying to him, but a small part of me still wished he’d see them.  It was the part that longed for my own parents, the part that missed them every single day.  I would give anything for one last chance to be with them.
“I understand that,” I began slowly, praying Calum wouldn’t react angrily to my suggestion.  “You have every right to be mad.  But...my parents are dead, and I wish I had one last chance to talk to them.  I know it’s hard, but what’s harder is living without them.  And it would be nearly impossible to live with yourself if something happened to them and you had turned down an opportunity to make amends.”
While the words hung in the air, I held my breath.  This was the only attempt I planned to make in order to sway Calum; if he refused even after hearing this, then I’d give up.  Changing his mind was an impossible task.
Calum’s arm tightened around me.  A gentle kiss was placed on the top of my head, and I knew this was his way of comforting me.  He’d never outwardly give me pity over my dead parents, but gestures like these showed me he was there for me.  I nestled deeper into his embrace, drinking in the smell of his skin.
I thought the conversation was over, because a long stretch of time went by.  I was on the verge of sleep when Calum’s voice rumbled softly, “Fine.”
Glancing up at him, I knitted my brows in confusion.  “Fine?”
His brown eyes were conceding, for once in his life.  “I’ll go.  But only if you come with me.”
A small gasp left my lips.  This was yet another instance of Calum claiming he needed me.  I felt a flutter of hope in my chest, the first one in so long.  Biting my lip, I ran a nervous hand through my damp hair.
“I don’t know, Calum.  They’re your family, and I don’t want to pry or overstep--”
“No,” he stopped me, caressing my face with his hand.  I melted into his touch, unraveling under his fingers.  “I can’t face them if you’re not there.  I need you.”
My heart skipped a beat at the familiar words, but I kept my face neutral.  Nodding, I responded, “Okay, I’ll go with you.”  Once the words left my lips he pulled me in for a kiss.  I happily obliged, savoring the taste I had started to forget over the last three days.  His arms were wrapped tightly around me, holding on to me as if for dear life, but he didn’t need to worry.  I wasn’t going anywhere.
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My Ultimate Reading List
So, I’ve been thinking about making this for a long time. I’m exactly that reader, who likes rereading favourite stuff. But even though I reblog things I would like to come back to, tumblr is still a lil shit with searching through my tags, esp with 18+ content.
This list was made purely for me, but if it helps you to find a fic or a writer you’d love, I’d be only happy. I tried to make navigation easy. For blurbs links go to my reblogs, for oneshots and full lengths links go to the original posts. I try to check links from time to time, but if you see that some of them don’t work, please, hmu.
* stands for the implied smut
*** stands for the pure smut
This list is far from finished, that’s just the first things that came to mind and/or were reblogged. Still have a ton to add. So will update it every now and then.
NOTE, pls: There’s no Michael content here! And that’s not because I don’t like him or don’t appreciate him enough. I guess, it’s quite the opposite tbh. There’s no Michael content here because I appreciate him too much. I love this cute little kitten, he’s the most precious soul and, most of the time I think, there would be no 5sos without Michael Gordon Clifford. I just don’t have any fantasies or images of him in me, don’t see him in any way romantically. That’s why I don’t read (or write for that matter) about him as main character. I understand, that I miss a whole lotta great authors and fics because of that. Maybe it’ll change in the future. But for now, it is what it is.
Also HUGE SHOUT OUT TO THE PEOPLE WHOSE WRITING IS ON THE LIST - THANK YOU FOR THIS! THESE FICS AND BLURBS BELOW HAVE REALLY GIVEN ME ALL TYPES OF FEELS, INSPIRATION, MOTIVATION AND CONTENT. I’M FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR THESE WONDERFUL GIFTS YOU GAVE TO ALL OF US.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, WONDERFUL PEOPLE! ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU!
Oneshots
Ashton
Heartbeat by @gigglyirwin  [Classic fluff and one of my all time faves]
Our Shining Star [Dad!Ashton] by @myloverboyash [Special thank you to @lashtoncurls for the tracking down the runaway author lol]
At the End of Night by @bringmethehorizonandpizza
Surprising Turn of Events* by @bringmethehorizonandpizza
Blindfold*** by @cal-puddies​ [Cashton smut which is too hot for this world]
Finding Joy by @bringmethehorizonandpizza [You, Ashton and adopting a cat drama, love love love]
Ain’t nobody got a drummer like mine*** by @myloverboyash [Drumming and banging 👀 at the drum kit]
I Can Love You In The Shower*** by @myloverboyash [Cute giggly shower sex with a little bit of trauma]
Calum
Redamancy by @cakesunflower [Heart wrecking fluff]
Birthday Getaway by @etherealhood [Cuteness and romance overload]
Valentine’s Day*** by @letsfuckndance
Lucky Shot In Paradise*** by @cakesunflower [Bartender!Cal]
Heartbeat by @uncrownedqueeen [Dad!Cal]
All These Years by @felicitycal
Blindfold*** by @cal-puddies [Cashton smut which is too hot for this world]
No chemistry*** by @novacxlum [Heartbreakingly great college enemies to lovers]
Where were you in the morning?* by @ snapbackcake [If this ultimately truthful but sad af one won’t make you cry, consider asking for help, because it’s too sad but also beautiful as hell]
Let me good to you*** by @snapbackcake​ [The description says it’s 6.8k words of absolute filth, and I have nothing else to add besides of what a great filth it is, so, 18+ kids]
Road Trip: Cake*** by @softforcal​ [Er, Cake threesome, idek what to say here]
The Little Spoon by @gigglyirwin [Classic fluff]
Luke
Boyfriend’s little brother*** by @lukehemmingssmut  [There was also a second part promised, sooooo ^.^]
Fuck me like you hate me*** by @myloverboyash
Full lengths and Serieses
Ashton
Hate sex Series*** by @irwinofficial Tell Me How Much You Hate Me, Our Kinky Secret, Good Enough, No Longer A Secret  [one of the best Ash smuts ever 👀]
Calum
Sugar Coated Pain by @cakesunflower [Boxer!Cal] [That’s what I lost my 5sos-fanfiction-virginity to, so, hey, Summer, thanks for the experience lmao]
Cigarette series*** by @cal-puddies [Best friend!Calum and a lot of hot smut 👀] Cigarette, Corona, Rolling Papers, Black on Black, Stuck [which was later replaced by the next part, but I’ll put it as long as it exists on the original list of parts, but don’t get confused], Navy Button Down, A Hotter Touch, Pancakes, The Second Thing, Ours, Losing You, Little toes, Holy Water, Date Night, Me, You and Little Hood, Five Years Later
Best Friend Pact Series by @calumh-excess [I’ve been crying like a baby over it] Best Friends, To Lovers, And Now Parents, But Never Forgot They Are Human
Wherever you are by @mysticalhood [Long distance with Cal and tons of tears with me]
Dates series by @calpops [this is so cute i higkey don’t want it to end like ever] First date, Second date, Second date pt2
Blurbs
All 4
First responders!5sos series by @calumsendgame and @heartbreak-5sos  
Character template
Police officer!Ashton First meeting, Meeting under cover, Late night at her apartment part1, part2***, Kitten’s Kitty, Ash being overprotective
Firefighter!Calum Coming home after shift*
Paramedic!Luke Coming home late, Exam preparation
Dad!5sos series by @calumsendgame 
Dad!Calum Working at home, Baby boy Hood can’t leave Duke
Ashton
Cashton besties by @myloverboyash [I’m still crying over this]
Farmer!Ashton series by @calumsendgame HeadCanon, Losing the baby, Levi’s at the hospital, Willow’s teenage depression
Pregnant with a werewolf!Ash by @flannelpunkcalum
Valentine’s Day sex*** by @softforcal
Cashton threesome*** by @paqueretteash
Overstimulation*** by @paqueretteash
Telling Ash you’re pregnant by @paqueretteash
Dealing with a teenage daughter by @i-calumhood
Accidental injury by @i-calumhood
Friend to lovers by @myloverboyash
Pregnancy cravings by @i-calumhood
Ashton and Joy by @bringmethehorizonandpizza [second part to Finding Joy]
Cuddle buddies by @i-calumhood
Best friend!Ash staying over under any possible excuse by @i-calumhood
Ash leaves you his clothes before going on tour by @asht0ns-world
Being pregnant with twins by @i-calumhood
You leaving surprises in Ashton’s baggage by @i-calumhood
Ash being nervous about kissing you by @angelbabylu
Calum
Riding Cal for the first time*** by @i-calumhood
Cal eating you out by @flannelpunkcalum
Your picture on Cal’s home screen* by @softforcal
Giving Cal head while he’s on the phone by @softforcal
Shower sex*** by @i-calumhood
Cashton threesome*** by @paqueretteash
Calum realising he’s in love by @permntvacaticn
Fighting with Cal by @cakesunflower
Calum comforting you by @honeycombcal
Surgeon!Cal blurb, second one and third from me by @cakesunflower [One more million thank you’s for letting me write for it!]
Stealing his clothes by @sweetcherrylu
Dad!Cal teaching his son to play bass by @paqueretteash
Cheek kisses by @i-calumhood
Kids cuteness by @i-calumhood
Small kisses by @calumh-excess
Sickness and sex*** by @heartbreak-5sos
Hammock cuddles by @heartbreak-5sos
Wide awake at 1 am by @reallycalum
Hot morning by @i-calumhood
Angry sex*** by @i-calumhood
5am by @saintlaurentcalum
Morning by @cakesunflower
Moving in by @i-calumhood
Duke being protective over your bump by @ singt0mecalum
Duke being a cockblock by @i-calumhood
Dad!Cal with your little girl at Disneyland by @c-sainthood
Dad!Cal with shy lil girl by @c-sainthood
Luke making Cal awkwardly confess by @etherealhood
Cal fucking you till you tear up by @flannelpunkcalum
Taking care of Cal when he’s stressed by @i-calumhood
Unrealistic scenarios by @i-calumhood
Hate fuck at college*** by @i-calumhood
Brownies and board games by @rip-lukes-balsamic
Calum confesses he wants an eternity with you by @i-calumhood
Lounging on the couch with Cal and Duke by @calpops
Brining your newborn baby girl home by @sublimehood
Dad!Cal reads to your baby by @c-sainthood
Fuck besties with Cal*** by @flannelpunkcalum
Calum leaving for tour and you’re a mess by @myloverboyash
Dad!Cal, kids and pancakes for mommy by @i-calumhood
Quickie before leaving for the party*** by @sublimehood
You’re drunk and Cal takes care of you while you confess your undying love to him by @i-calumhood
Coming home to Cal and baby sleeping by @c-sainthood
Car sex*** by @i-calumhood
Cal calling you ‘my girl’ by @calvmofficial
Cal taking you backstage from a crowd to fuck*** by @sublimehood
Duke protective over baby hood by @singt0mecalum
Baby hood playing with Duke by @singt0mecalum
Cock warming with Cal*** by @calpops
Clingy Cal by @i-calumhood
Sex with dad!Cal while kids are sleeping*** by @flannelpunkcalum
Jealous fwb Cal and hot bathroom*** by @honeyedhood
Calum wakes you up to go stargaze by @myloverboyash
Fake kisses at the coffee shop by @rip-lukes-balsamic
Talking about marriage and kids by @calpops
Saying the L-word* by @softforcal
Coming home to a sleeping y/n by @rakkaroses
Cuddly Cal by @rakkaroses
Running away from an event to eat french fries by @i-calumhood
Waking up to an empty bedside by @reallycalum and her anonymous
Waking up to a shirtless Cal by @i-calumhood
Luke
Calling Luke Buttercup by @i-calumhood
Fake dating by @c-sainthood
Breastfeeding by @i-calumhood
Riding Luke in a bus bunk by @hereforlukescruff
Blowing Luke while he’s in a suit*** by @hereforlukescruff
Post-divorce dad!Lu fluff by @calumh-excess
1K notes · View notes
teddystrap · 4 years
Text
Drama CD: [CHARM of FATE] Route.3 -Kotoda Minori-
iirc I said before on here that CHARM of FATE is produced by Ninoya but I was mistaken - it’s actually from TwoFive, the company that gave us the Toubousha series. I have listened to a couple of them, and honestly I find it a cool idea but poorly executed:
The basic setting of Toubousha is that a hot guy who is seemingly on the run from the law suddenly approaches you in public and takes you hostage by threat. So there is that element of potential danger and the whole ‘suspension-bridge effect’ that makes you go all dokidoki. 
But the heroine in these scenarios ruins it by having no rudimentary safety awareness - she not only lets the possibly wanted criminal dude into her home, but also falls asleep with him, lets him shower and makes hot tea, laughs at his cuteness/clumsiness, and 100 other lovey-dovey things that I would not do with some random stranger who might kill me at any moment. 
So yeah that aspect of the story was completely unrealistic to me and ruined my enjoyment of it. I don’t know why so many otome games/dramas advocate this kind of 無防備すぎ behaviour as a plus because it wins the guy’s affections. This is just a bad thing to teach young impressionable teenage girls.
...Aaaanyway. Enough about that. The premise of CoF sounded interesting [three brothers with telekinetic powers], and I had no preconceptions. So here we go.
(This is a long post and I apologise for my wordiness but I will NOT shut up.) :D
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The story starts with Kotoda Minori [cv. Shingaki Tarusuke] chasing an unknown character at nighttime. He orders the person not to escape, and suddenly the guy knocks over some trash cans and falls to the ground, where Minori catches up to him.
As he's handling the situation, he notices someone watching them in secret and tells the observer to come out of hiding - he is surprised to see that it's a young woman (i.e. YOU the listener). He asks his brothers, Hibiki and Shion, to take care of the rest, and tells you to follow him.
He takes you to a bar called 'Bar Voz' (off day so no customers), pours you a glass of water, and asks you what your deal is. You tell him that you were going somewhere on your way home from work and got lost. In return, he tells you his name, and that he's the owner of the bar. The guy that he and his brothers were chasing is a shady character who was trying to plant listening devices and hidden cameras in his bar. Then, he demonstrates what you just saw:
He commands you to take a drink, and you pick up the glass, forcibly fighting your urge to take a sip. Turns out, he and his brothers were born with this gift of being able to make people/things do whatever they tell them to. He apologises for being careless and letting you witness them in action, and asks you to keep it a secret. Of course, you promise to do so. As a gesture of thanks and goodwill, he casts a 'charm' on you to come back to the bar tomorrow night for a round of drinks on him.
(Sounds dangerous? I thought so too. But since this is an otome drama, dangerous hot guys with superhuman abilities trying to corner you into shady situations are always 100% harmless. Like totally.)
The second evening, you show up at the bar, and he hands you a menu with a secret memo telling you to stay until closing time. So you stick around, drinking very responsibly in the meanwhile. After the final customer has left, he comes over to you.
Turns out the charm he cast on you last night loses its effect once the day is over, so tonight you showed up by your own free will. It was actually a test to see how trustworthy you are, and... *you passed* (/*^-^)/. He and his brothers have a deal that any witnesses would either be threatened into silence or placed under surveillance 24/7. Oh and also it's a piece of cake for him to find out your workplace and home address... But *don't you worry* he doesn't plan to do anything to you. He only wants to make you a regular at his bar. (I guess #Abenomics isn't doing much for his business?)
As you are leaving, your forget your mobile phone and he uses psychokinesis to bring it to you. You stand there being all impressed and stuff, and he is all like hurry up and leave before you miss the last train princess~ 
_(:0 」∠)_
Next night, you show up all depressed and moody. He asks Hibiki to show the few other customers to a *VIP room*, and stays to listen to your troubles like a goddamned bartender stereotype. You again stay until closing time and apologise for complaining so much, but he laughs and says he doesn't mind at all - he can tell that you take your work seriously, and that you are objective and self-reflective when it comes to your own faults, which impresses him.
As he's about to call it a day, you... fall asleep right there in the bar XD. *Out of no choice*, he gathers you in his arms and uses 'charms' to collect your things and make you hold onto him securely... but a little *too tightly*, which makes him a bit flustered and he's all like: 「参ったな、これは心臓に悪い」 ('Oh man, this is bad for my heart.') #LOLZ
He takes you home to his mansion above the bar and you wake up briefly, and he 'charms' you back to sleep... and mutters that it's making him want to do something he shouldn't... XDDD
In the morning, you wake up all panicking and dishevelled, and he uses a 'charm' to straighten your open collar. He reassures you that his brothers were only here for breakfast earlier and didn't enter his room, where you were sleeping. And that he used a 'charm' across a closed door to help you change your clothes. And ofc last night he let you have his bed and he slept on the sofa in the living room.
When you thank him for all this, he replies that your sleeping face is enough thanks for him. ...Just, like, shut up and marry me already, you sexy gentleman who will never exist irl T_T
After breakfast, he makes coffee (it's Saturday so no work) and tells you more about their Charmed Family. (Does this make anyone else nostalgic for Pru, Piper, Phoebe, and Paige... or am I just a dinosaur and nobody gets my reference???)
Apparently each of them has a different 'expertise': Hibiki is good at commanding people to do stuff, Shion is good at healing injuries, and your bae Minori is good at moving inanimate objects and not so great with people. He says you are exceptionally easy to 'charm', and tells you that *it would be dangerous to become emotionally involved with the Kotoda brothers*.
Especially in the case of unrequited love: the 'charmer' might use his powers to manipulate his target, while the 'charmed one' might feel compelled to obey him to gain his affection. She would also develop a kind of dependency on the charms as a kind of side effect. So yeah, **you have been forewarned**.
*
On your next visit to his bar, you notice that Minori sounds tired. You offer to help him, but he refuses and asks you to just enjoy yourself. After a few drinks, you get some Zzzzzz in the bar again, he casts a 'charm' for you not to wake up yet and takes you home again.
This time, you insist on returning his care towards you. He deliberates for a bit and finally accepts you help. He reveals that he actually has a second job as a benriya (you know, that thing that those guys in Gintama do for a living). Only the regulars at his bar know about this, and they can place their requests secretly in the VIP room. He asks you to come meet with some people next Saturday night at a members-only club, so dress up ;)
Sooo. Your job at the club is to distract a troublesome man enough so that Minori can cast a 'charm' on him to make him hand over his business card. The plan works successfully, and Minori reveals the story behind it:
The job was a request from an old friend of his who is a detective, and the namecard is a piece of evidence needed in an investigation. In this youth, Minori used to hang with a bad crowd and use his 'charms' to steal and rob etc. Just before the point of no return, however, he became friends with this police officer, who helped him to turn his life around, so he wants to do something for him in return.
Also, Hibiki and Shion are actually his cousins, but their parents died in an accident when they were young, and they came to live with his family. Their superpowers were a disturbance to Minori's parents, so he wanted to start a business and buy a separate house for the three of them to move into. His benriya job generated the funds to open Bar Voz, but afterwards he kept working at it and donates the extra proceeds to orphans, as a way to make up for all his wrongdoings during his youth.
Aaand once again, you fall asleep in the bar (...s-should we be concerned? Do you need directions to an upcoming AA meeting/12-step programme???). After you wake up, he mindlessly strokes your hair, and it appears he's done this many times without you knowing. #notcreepyatall. But... he immediately catches himself and hurriedly stops and sends you away.
*
Another night at the bar. You stay after closing to help him clean up, and he saves you the trouble by using his 'charm' to do the dishes. You tell him that his 'charm' voice sounds *different from usual and more pleasant*. He speculates that it may be a premonition of the dependency effect, then quickly corrects himself and asks you to forget what he just said.
After this, he starts to avoid you. He asks Shion to take your orders at the bar, then you phone him and say you need to talk, but he apologises that he's busy and hangs up on you. Later, he stops returning your calls, so you show up in front of Bar Voz on an off day. He had just returned from drinking with his old detective friend and is kinda tipsy. He finds an excuse to get away, but you grab his arm, and he finally cannot hold it in anymore...
...He uses 'charms' to get you into his bed, and confesses that he has been using his 'charms' to *touch you while you sleep without waking you up*, which heals his tired overworked heart. Now he 'charms' you into touching him as well, and he tells you that he will suppress his... desires... beyond this level of touching. (I guess if he gets an erection he can always 'charm' it away.) You both fall asleep stroking each others' hair or something, fuck knows.
In the morning, he's shocked to find you in his bed... before remembering last night’s events. He reassures you that he's only gone as far as *stroking your head and resting his head on your arm*. And that he's not using you as a stress-relief tool whatsoever.
He admits that he has liked you from the beginning, and even more so after you helped him with work and listened to his life story. As he prepares for you to kick his G-rated ass out of bed, you tell him that you... reciprocate his feelings :0. He makes you confirm your feelings, and kisses you to break the spell of dependency. Now ya'll can touch each other even *without* using 'charms' and stuff. Isn't this fancy new technology awesome hey??? I think it's called 'LOVE' or sumshit.
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[Thoughts] I have to admit, this is much tamer than I thought it would be. I thought that Minori might show some dark (ura) sides and/or momentarily abuse his superpower. Especially since he mentioned that the ‘charmer’ might start to manipulate and the ‘charmed one’ would react with pleasing behaviours - this seems like the *perfect* conflict that would’ve added depth to the whole story, but for whatever reason it was left unexplored (or minimally explored I guess), which just feels like a lot of wasted potential.
...The hair stroking while you are sleeping thing is creepy right? Please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks so. But I mean, within the context of this story, (A) you like him back, and (B) he’s not a psycho killer, so it’s all cool. 
His backstory is also pretty sweet and made me interested in Hibiki and Shion, the first two volumes in this series. I thought the chase scene in the beginning was a nice thrill ride, and it would’ve been cool if they have followed up on what happened to that guy that they caught and what his whole ‘deal’ was. I mean, it’s not integral to the plot, but all these loose ends...
ON THE PLUS SIDE, Minori is a total gentleman, and I’m a sucker for these street-urchin-turned-successful-self-made-man stories. And probably because he’s the oldest of the three, they were probably going for a bit of an oniisan angle here,... In fact you know who Minori reminds me of? That bartender guy with the Kyoto accent in Gakuen K. (This guy.) I never finished playing Gakuen K because it’s like the otome game equivalent of watching paint dry, but yeah I would date the fuck out of him <3333.
So this also makes me wonder if Hibiki and Shion would be less... forgiving, and use threats and/or surveillance to prevent the heroine from leaking their secret. Which would admittedly make for a cooler story. (I swear I am not a do-M lolol.)
In the ANIMATE tokuten, Minori teaches you how to make cocktails, but whatever #fuckthatshit. There needs to be more (mutually consensual) touching in bed and icha-icha scenes ya dig??? If I wanted to learn to mix drinks I would go watch a YouTube video or something.
Overall this is a good concept but it left me with some/a little/maybe a lot of 欲求不満 in places. Idk. TO BE CONT’D...
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vampire-email · 5 years
Text
while the rhythm of the rain keeps time: chapter two
ao3 link (kudos appreciated!)
from the beginning: ao3
Rating: General Audiences (subject to change)
Pairing: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Chapter Word Count: 4,604
Full Word Count: 8,670
Summary: Phil didn’t very much like the rain, but at the same time, he didn’t very much dislike it, either.
It had a distinctly lonely feeling, like if he allowed himself to get lost in the sights and sounds and smells of the rain everything else would disappear and he’d become the only person in the world.
A little odd, yes, but some days he’d ache for this feeling. He wasn’t sure why, but sometimes all he’d crave was utter solitude, so he’d have space to think his own thoughts and exist without being a bother to anyone else.
a/n: a special thanks to my beta readers, @freckliedan, @shrugs-are-kinky, and @edgylester for making this fic possible! Go show them some love!
likes and reblogs appreciated!!
Chapter Two: Melt Your Headaches, Call It Home
Phil didn’t very much like the rain, but at the same time, he didn’t very much dislike it, either.
It was okay, he supposed.
It made his mornings a bit slower, he mused, but it was also kind of peaceful, listening to it pound the outside world tirelessly.
It had a distinctly lonely feeling, like if he allowed himself to get lost in the sights and sounds and smells of the rain everything else would disappear and he’d become the only person in the world.
A little odd, yes, but some days he’d ache for this feeling. He wasn’t sure why, but sometimes all he’d crave was utter solitude, so he’d have space to think his own thoughts and exist without being a bother to anyone else.
The rain was melancholy and somber, and it put Phil in an odd sort of mood where all he wanted to do was lay down outside in the grass and let it wash over him.
If it was warm enough. Cold rain was the worst. He was staying inside for that shit.
Today, unfortunately, he didn’t have any time to ponder the different ways rain made him feel, because he had a double shift at the Starbucks next to Tesco and it started in less than an hour and he hadn’t even gotten out of bed.
He’d recently taken up a second, part-time job because as it turns out, a job in graphic design didn’t exactly make the most money--and to put it bluntly, he was broke as fuck.
He went in to the office three times a week, and was expected to finish his assigned projects at home if they hadn’t been completed at work. Which was all fine and dandy, but the little ADHD monster that lived in his brain tended to grab the controls and make him do something utterly ridiculous like hyperfixate on the interesting article he was reading about children’s brain development instead of doing literally anything else he was supposed to.
He had actually been offered a home office, which would have been excellent in the fact that he would have been able to wear nothing but socks and a pair of boxers while working, but it also meant that he probably would have ended up lying on his back and watching the blades of the fan spinning and trying to count how many times they go around in a minute instead of getting any work done.
He was glad, at least, for the fact he had a steady income and he didn’t absolutely hate his job, no matter how slow it got sometimes.
Anyway, whenever it got boring he’d always end up doodling straight onto the desk he was sitting at (he’d have to wipe it off later) or coming up with elaborate daydreams in his head about scenarios that were completely unrealistic (that was the fun part).
Speaking of daydreaming--Phil reluctantly pulled himself back into the present and realized that he’d wasted ten minutes allowing his mind to wander as he sat in bed, being about as useful as a garbage bag full of rocks.
That was the one thing he didn’t like about his job--his mind wasn’t allowed to wander or else he’d lose track of time and five minutes turned into ten and ten minutes turned into thirty and suddenly he’d been thinking about absolutely nothing for the better part of an hour.
Unfortunately for Phil, he got most of his best ideas when he let his mind roam free, and sitting at a desk all day was the perfect way to kill all of his inspiration.
He wasn’t completely oblivious to what was going on inside his mind, however; he had seen a doctor about medication for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and while it had worked pretty well at first, at some point or another the doses stopped working as well and it felt like the pills were only taking all his ADHD-fueled ideas and guiding them in the general direction of where they were supposed to go. The side effects were also awful--sometimes it seemed like any noise that was too loud or sudden could launch him into a panic attack and he often felt like vomiting.
He hadn’t had the time to go back to the doctor who had prescribed them in the first place, and so he’d just put the bottle on a high shelf and tried to forget about it.
Alongside battling his attention-disorder, Phil also had to deal with being both physically and mentally exhausted to the point of breaking due to his new part-time as a Starbucks barista.
He barely had any free time, either, and he usually spent his blessed days off sleeping for fourteen hours and ordering takeaway and playing Mario Kart on his couch alone.
Lovely.
With these thoughts in mind, Phil finally rolled out of his bed and dressed in the boring all-black that his job required he wear.
His mind still muddled with sleep (though thankfully warmed up by his wandering thoughts), Phil shuffled his way into the kitchen to get breakfast.
Pulling the coffeemaker towards himself and shoveling generous amounts of ground coffee inside it, Phil wondered if he’d have time to shower before heading to work. Probably not.
He lived close enough to walk to the cafe where he worked (not that he particularly wanted to--it was all drizzly and cold outside) and so he never had to worry about finding a method of transportation (he was awful at driving, the Tube gave him anxiety, and he didn’t have money to spare on cabs). He had a bit of time before he had to leave, enough to finish breakfast and sit and stare at the kitchen counter beneath his mug (or perhaps the telly) and wonder whether it was really worth getting out of bed this early for a job.
Shuffling around the kitchen and pulling a box of cereal from a cabinet, Phil made himself The Breakfast of Champions with little more than dry cereal and a big enough bowl (likely because of all the times his mum had chastised him for eating cereal with his hands straight out of the box, which resulted in a squirmy guilty feeling every time he did it).
There was, however, no point in using a spoon for dry cereal, which really only meant less dishes to wash later.
Pushing his glasses up his nose and sitting in front of the television, Phil wondered whether he could turn it on and watch half an episode without all his self-control going down the drain. Considering… er, previous events, Phil decided to keep the telly off or else he very well might end up marathoning The Office or Food Wars! instead of going to work like he was supposed to.
At least he knew what he was doing tonight.
Before he knew it, fifteen minutes had passed and he had to be at work in ten and he hadn’t even gotten his shoes on- but that was okay because they were just by the door, and so were his house keys-
Running back into his room to grab his phone and to turn off all the lights, Phil skidded back through the kitchen and nearly hit his head on a cabinet door he had forgotten to close.
Damn cabinets.
Phil slid his shoes on and slammed the door behind himself, barely remembering to lock it.
Walking briskly through the lobby of the apartment complex (his flat was on the ground floor, which was by far the Least Cool place he’s ever lived) and stepping through the double doors, Phil immediately found himself standing in the pouring rain.
He wished, as he always did whenever it rained, that he owned an umbrella.
It’s not like an umbrella is always first on his mental list of Things To Buy whenever he went to the store--after all, there were always much cooler and conventionally useful (he had always had trouble preparing for the future--which was why he currently lived on the first floor of an apartment building with one job in graphic design and another at Starbucks).
Phil resigned himself to walking along the sidewalk, already soaking wet and freezing. For God’s sake, it was June! Why was it so bloody cold outside?
Checking his phone and realizing that his shift was supposed to start in three minutes, Phil started walking slightly faster. He could always blame the rain for his tardiness.
--
By the time he finally set foot in the coffee shop and stepped behind the counter, the rain had relented slightly (although Phil was still very wet).
At the sound of his arrival, Devon (the shift manager) turned and regarded him with a look of slight disapproval.
“Phil, you’re late. Again.”
Phil swallowed. “I’m sorry, Devon- I lost track of time and it was pouring rain and I uh, forgot my umbrella-”
Devon dropped their stony disposition and grinned. “Yeah Phil, I’m sure you forgot your umbrella that totally exists. C’mon, we were gonna draw straws-” They guestured in the general direction of Alex and Liz, who waved, “-but since you’re the late one, you get to wipe the tables!”
Phil groaned exaggeratedly.
“C’mon, Devon, I did that last week! Besides, I’m all wet and-”
Devon held up their hand to hush Phil, and turned towards the back room, chucking an old towel at Phil.
Phil then proceeded to get hit in the face with said old towel, to which the people behind him burst out laughing.
Ignoring Liz and Alex’s giggling, Phil ripped the towel off his face and surveyed Devon with a look of mock disgust on his face.
“Fine,” Phil said haughtily, “but believe me, you’ll regret making me do this!”
Devon snickered.
“C’mon Lester, we don’t have time for dramatics. Just wipe the damn tables down and be done with it, okay?”
Phil rolled his eyes, hiding a smile on his face. Doing actual work might suck, but at least he wasn’t totally alone. His coworkers were pretty cool.
--
After wiping the tables down, Phil was instructed to make drinks for the morning stragglers with Liz as Alex manned the registers. Devon was in the back doing inventory- something that Phil was very glad he wasn’t in charge of.  
Making drinks was fairly simple for the most part--save for the insanely complicated ones. Phil still hadn’t gotten the hang of doing the fancy ones with the custom flavors and customers who knew the menu better than he did--especially the Starbucks “secret menu,” which simply took drinks that already tasted good and added a bunch of complicated ingredients to them. Liz was in charge of those. Phil was fine with making lattes and frappuccinos and tea for now.
He and Liz made a great team, with Devon scrawling the abbreviation of the drinks on the cups and passing them to Phil, who glanced at the order and determined whether or not he could make themself. If not, he would have to pass them to Liz, who had been here for years and knew every possible combination like the back of her hand (that metaphor confused Phil. There wasn’t really anything that distinguished the back of  one hand from another, unless you had a tattoo or something). Phil had only been here about a month, which immediately meant he was tasked with the more physical jobs, like sweeping the floor after the shop closed and taking care of the registers when nobody else wanted to.
Phil, Liz, and Alex continued working until about ten-thirty, when the lunch rush was just beginning.
That was when Alex, who looked even more exhausted than usual, took off her apron and hung it in the back. Devon stepped out, and stood in front of Liz and Phil.
There was a chocolate chip in their hair.
“Okay guys, Alex is taking her break and I need Phil to watch after the registers. I’ll be helping Liz make the drinks, and as soon as Alex is back, she’ll help Phil. Got it?”
They all nodded. Alex walked out the back door, likely to go sit at the plastic table out back. In the pouring rain. Sometimes Phil admired Alex for her complete inability to give a shit.
Phil took up his place at the register, and plastered on a smile for the growing queue of customers waiting to order.
God, people were scary.
Taking orders was quite stressful, and he had to remember the correct abbreviations of the drinks and try to understand what the customer said their name was- Riley? It was probably spelled Reileigh or Rylie (he’d had both already) or some other monstrosity sent from hell.
It was during a lull in business that Phil took the opportunity to slump against the counter and stare at the door to the shop, desperately hoping for no one else to walk through so he wouldn’t have to get up.
Devon looked at him pityingly.
Phil glanced down at the counter, swaying slightly and studying the swirling design of the plastic countertop and the crumbs that had managed to stick there.
Lo and behold, someone else stepped into the shop, and Phil smiled automatically while stepping forward to take their order.
An hour later, his head throbbed from talking to so many people, and with a nod from Devon, Phil stepped out of view from the customers and perched himself on an old stool in the corner.
This was exhausting.
Tipping his head back against the wall and closing his eyes, Phil took a few deep breaths. Only a few hours until his break, and Devon was being kind enough to let him relax for a few minutes.
He was already so tired, but that didn’t mean he could slack off his job like this.
After a few minutes of sitting down, he’d surely be able to stand up again and go back to work without wanting to die.
...Okay, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but Phil was a gay twenty-something and also happened to be exhausted to the point of collapsing. He figured he could cut himself some slack.
--
When the boy with curls damp from the rain and eyes the color of the coffee Phil was making stumbled into the shop like some great force of nature, Phil couldn’t help but glance up.
And he kept glancing, but then he somehow ended up taking longer looks that lasted only a few seconds and then only a few seconds turned to even more seconds until suddenly Phil realized he’d been outright staring at the man for at least a minute.
Behind him, Liz cleared her throat loudly.
“You can’t stare at the pretty boy while I do all the work, Lester,” she teased.
Phil nodded, taking his eyes off the stranger and finishing the iced tea he was making.
At that moment, Alex stepped back into the store, her short hair soaking wet and her clothes dripping water on the floor.
“I’m off my break,” she announced.
“You do know that someone will have to clean that up later, right?” Devon inquired dryly.
Alex said nothing and stepped behind the counter, putting her apron back on and gesturing drippingly to Phil to help her with the cash registers.
Devon sighed and stepped back to help Liz with the drinks.
It was at this moment that the boy (who was still slightly damp and who also seemed to be having some internal battle) stood up from his seat and made his way over to the counter.
Phil’s heart did a funny swoop thing and he was pretty sure he could hear the blood rushing through his ears.
Did he really fall apart this easily whenever an attractive person breathed in his direction? Honestly.
The stranger, who still hadn’t noticed Phil yet, surveyed the pastry cases and stepped closer to study the menu.
With a jolt, he seemed to realize that Phil was there, and proceeded to stare at him, a slight blush tinting his cheeks.
Phil was aware of the fact that his own face was likely bright red.
“Er, hello,” Phil began. “I’m Phil. What can I get for you today?”
It was a miracle he hadn’t embarrassed himself already.
“Oh, er, well- I, I actually haven’t decided yet? I mean, uh, yeah.” The stranger’s tongue seemed to trip over itself in an attempt to get the words out. “Sorry,” he added as an afterthought.
Phil felt his heart soften at the boy’s nervous stuttering.
“It’s fine. Take your time! It’s not like I’m going anywhere,” Phil managed, and then felt himself cringe as he realized that it probably sounded he was implying that the boy needed Phil to make an order, or something. God. Why was Phil always embarrassing himself like this?
The stranger cleared his throat, and Phil snapped back to the present.
“I- could I actually have, um, the er, the Caramel Mocha Latte? That’s good, right?” He paused, considering. “Could I also get an, er, a blueberry muffin?”
“What size?”
The man blinked. “Sorry?”
“What, er, size do you want your drink?”
“Oh, sorry. Um, medium, I reckon.”
Phil nodded, pulling a grande cup towards him. “Could I get a name?”
The stranger looked confused for a second, and then seemed to realize what Phil meant.
“Oh, right. Uh, Dan.”
His name was Dan.
Phil scribbled that on the cup, along with the abbreviation for the drink.
“That’ll be, er, £8 .50. Cash or card?”
Dan, who had seemed to be staring off into space, seemed to jolt himself back into the present. Phil could relate.
“Oh, yes, card, sorry,” Dan said, fumbling for his wallet and extracting a credit card.
Phil nodded and took it. Dan’s eyes were very pretty. So were his curls, and the light dusting of freckles across his nose- Phil shouldn’t be thinking about this.
Dan, as if oblivious to the effect he was having on Phil, seemed fascinated with the way Phil’s hands moved as they swiped the card.
If the twinge of pink lining his cheeks were anything to go by, Phil could guess that it was either very cold outside or Dan was still embarrassed about the loud entrance he had made a few minutes previously. There had to be a reason he was blushing like that, right?
Phil handed the card back to Dan, who now appeared to be staring at Phil’s mouth. Embarrassed, Phil wondered whether he had food stuck on his upper lip or if he had missed a spot shaving that morning.
Ducking his head and reaching into the pastry case, Phil pulled out Dan’s muffin. Tucking it into a paper bag, he set it on the countertop between them.
Clearing his throat, Phil waited for Dan’s gaze to snap back up to his own. God, his eyes were gorgeous.
“Er, your drink will be ready in a few minutes over there-” he gestured towards the end of the counter, “-and here’s your muffin! Enjoy your food,” Phil added, smiling at Dan.
Dan smiled back. He had a dimple. Phil immediately wanted to kiss it. He also wanted to bury his face in the crook of Dan’s neck and stay there for a while, but he had a job to do and also Dan was a complete stranger and- God, Phil was probably so creepy for thinking like this.
As if on cue, Dan took the muffin between them and gave Phil an awkward wave before walking back over to his table and sitting down.
Turning back to face his coworkers, Phil was immediately unsurprised to see all three of them gaping at him. Even Alex.
“That was literally the most awkward interaction I have ever seen.” Devon said, their hand over their face.
“Oh my God you guys, get a room,” Liz quipped, trying not to laugh.
Alex just stared, an expression of shame on her face. “God, Lester, what was that? Have you ever successfully flirted with anyone, I don’t know, ever?”
Phil rolled his eyes, his heart beating unfairly fast in his chest. “Can you guys just make the drink? I wasn’t even trying to flirt at all! I was just taking his order! He probably doesn’t even like guys, for fuck’s sake.”
Devon snickered. “You mean to tell me, the master of gaydar, that that man wasn’t ogling your ass when you turned around to get his damn muffin?”
Phil sighed. These people were relentless.
Alex grabbed his shoulders, looking like she was ready to shake him. “Phil, I swear, if you don’t have that guy’s number by the time he leaves this place, I am going to personally walk to his house and get it myself. You hear?”
Phil shrugged her off. “C’mon guys, seriously. Can you just make his drink?”
Liz raised an eyebrow. Devon smirked. They all backed off a little, although the looks they shot each other definitely meant they weren’t going to leave this alone.  
A few minutes later, Dan’s drink was ready and Phil had taken orders from three more customers. Liz had called Dan’s name and he had come up to collect it--and Phil definitely didn’t miss the intense stares all of his coworkers had given Dan as he walked away.
“Nice ass,” Alex commented slyly, eyeing Phil to see his reaction.
Phil resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Again. Honestly, at some point his eyeballs were going to pop out of his head and onto the floor, just like his mum told him they would when he was a teenager.
Phil’s co-workers weren’t the only ones staring at Dan, though. Phil had to admit it was actually quite hard to keep his eyes off the man’s figure, hunched over the table and scribbling in what looked like a journal of some sort.
He was left-handed. Phil wasn’t sure why that was important to him, but it was.
Once or twice, he was sure that Dan was looking at him as well. It was hard to tell, though, and anyway, why would someone as pretty as Dan be looking at Phil?
When it was nearing the end of Phil’s shift and he was glancing anxiously at the clock every few seconds, Devon seemed to take notice of this and casually made their way over to Dan, who was still sitting at his little table.
Phil was too far away to properly hear what was going on, but when Devon first began to speak, Dan’s head jerked up, like he hadn’t expected anyone to take notice of him.
Dan only seemed to look further confused as Devon went on, but when they jerked their head back in the direction of the cash registers, Phil began to have an idea of what was going on. Dear God, he wished he didn’t.
Hiding his face in his hands, Phil wished dearly that Devon had only walked over to inquire about the quality of Dan’s drink, or the weather, or literally anything other than what Phil knew it was about.
Peeking through his fingers, Phil saw just in time Dan scribbling something on a napkin and offering it to Devon. Dan’s face was quite red.
When Devon turned around with a smile big enough to engulf their face, Phil groaned and stood up fully, hands gripping the countertop.
Dan, whose face was still beet-red, stared at the floor and tucked one ankle behind the other nervously. Phil turned his attention back to Devon, who slapped the napkin down on the counter proudly.
“You’re welcome, Lester. I just got you a pretty boy’s number, and you bet your ass you will call him, or I’ll do it for you! ”
Phil sighed. “Like how you got his number from him for me as well?”
Devon rolled their eyes. “C’mon, I’m doing you a favor. He was so cute about it too! I thought if his face got any redder, he’d explode!”
Devon looked at him expectantly.
Phil swiped the napkin off the counter and tucked into his pocket. “There. Happy?”
“Obviously.”
--
Phil was sitting in his flat.
The rain was still drizzling outside, and the sounds of it hitting the pavement echoed off the tall London buildings and created a peaceful, rumbling sound--like a cat purring loudly or the far-off sounds of a train on the railroad.
The sun was setting, and the darkening sky seemed to breathe with the city, creating that special sense of calm that only a rainstorm at night could produce.
All the curtains in his flat were open, as if trying to welcome the last streaks of washed-out daylight left in the world, and the room was getting darker and darker at such a pace that if you tried hard enough, you’d be able to watch it happening.
Phil, oblivious to the rest of the world, was clutching a brown, wrinkly Starbucks napkin with pen marks messily scratched onto its surface.
His handwriting was adorable. It had a slight left slant, and he had drawn a smiley face next to where he had scrawled his number for Phil.
His number. For Phil.
Phil wondered if he had even gotten out of bed that morning or if this was all a dream.
God, he hoped not.
It was around six in the evening, and Phil, in lieu of turning on Netflix and binging a series like he normally would, was sitting on his couch with his phone in his hand and debating whether to call the number on the napkin.
Oh God, what if it was fake? What if Dan had just given a pretend number to make Devon go away? Phil wouldn’t blame him. Oh God. This was so embarrassing. Phil didn’t even know what Devon had said to acquire the number, and to be completely honest, he didn’t want to know.
This was nerve-wracking.
Should he call or text? A call might look like he was trying too hard, but a text might look like he wasn’t trying enough- oh, he was insane. He definitely wasn’t going to call Dan. Did he have a deathwish? Phone calls were awful.
Before he could overthink it, Phil typed out a quick text.
Hey, Dan. It’s me, Phil, from Starbucks!
Okay, that was simple enough. Phil highly doubted Dan had met another person named Phil and had also given them his number on the same day, but it never hurt to make sure, right?
Phil sent it before his brain’s irrational panicking could get in the way, and tossed his phone down on the coffee table as if it were a bomb.
Staring at it, Phil waited for something, anything, to happen.
Nothing happened.
Phil was forced to acknowledge the fact that no, sending a text before he got the chance to over-think it was definitely not a guaranteed way to stop his anxiety from going into overdrive. If anything, it was worse.
Flopping back against the couch, Phil stared up at the ceiling. Maybe it was a fake number. Dan probably wasn’t going to reply, and Phil would never be able to face his coworkers after this embarrassment.
Suddenly, his phone buzzed with an incoming text, and Phil lunged for it.
hi phil! to what (or whom, i suppose) do i owe this pleasure? :)
Grinning to himself in the semi-darkness of his flat, Phil typed out a response to the boy with the coffee-colored eyes and a blush that happened to be the exact shade of the begonias growing in the dirt outside the building.
Maybe rain wasn’t quite so melancholy after all.
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hotgirlinahotcar · 6 years
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* headcanon free-for-all
tagged by: several of you for other things (that are started but still in my drafts...). And with all of y’all already tagged in those too... instead of re-tagging the same people for the same stuff... new thing... tagging: @conviictus / @melioriisms​ | @cunninglinguistx​ | @governingmouse | @governinglion | @nicophaught | and everybody else who wants to | non-rp-blogs: just replace ‘your muse’ with one of your fav chars to write about notes: the following answers are heavily influenced by headcanons {d’oh} and whatnots and are subject to change if we ever actually find out more about Gidge...
♥ is there an article of clothing that means the most to your muse? Yep, several. Nope, not her jackets. All the special shirts and other garments that weren’t initially hers but somehow ended up in her possession for some reason or other... (except for stuff that was just discarded or forgotten at her place that ends up in her closet without having any special meaning to her).
❀ what does your muse’s daily routine look like? Most days Gidge gets up at the asscrack of dawn to go surfing - unless the weather won’t permit it (in which case she either goes back to sleep, wakes up her woman for a different kind of workout or catches up on chores and whatnot instead). After a quick shower she then shows up for work barely on time and spends her day there being her glorious sapphic psychologisty self... then after work there really isn’t much of a routine anymore, it’s more of a day to day thing... either back to the beach, or when stuff is piling up, it’s time for chores/errands/paperwork etc and she does the adulting thing. The nights that are all about her girl and spending time together doing whatever they feel like really are her favs though (especially when those also happen to include beachy-surfy and/or lesbionic stuffs). If she’s single though, she might turn her axe-effect up to 11 and hit some lezzie nests for starters... Just hanging out with friends in general is never a bad idea either. And of course the more or less sporadic lazy and quiet nights in are good for the soul too. Naturally, with a lifestyle like that, there also are the days when she’s just beyond exhausted because all that lack of sleep for various reasons caught up with her and she just goes to bed early to recharge properly.
◎ does your muse plan for the long-term or short-term? Both. Realistic goals and all that. Of course she’s only human though, so while she may have the sapphic psychologist skills professional knowledge beneficial to maintaining a healthy balance in general, advice is always easier given than taken. In consideration of that, in most matters, she not only encourages clients and friends alike but also tries to live by it herself. On the flip side of that, nothing wrong with indulging in occasional crazyass notions either. Even the wildest dreams come true for some people after all... In advice-mode she’d also insist on cautioning against actually expecting the more unrealistic stuff to happen though. Cause that kind of thinking has the potential of providing the ideal environment to the birth of delusions.
◆ what is one secret your muse has? Her girlfriend Franky is probably the biggest one... and the canon one... other than that, in verses where she did the pro-surfing circuit thing, it’s not so much of a secret as a part of her life that she just doesn’t share with people at work... with the long lost kid trope, there’d be that... then I have plenty of ideas about the reasons why she got into psychology in the first place... like being forced to go to a mental institution/straight camp when she was a teenager... as in shit was done to her there by the people who were supposed to help her and it becomes her calling to provide therapy done the right way and save people from suffering the likes of what she had to endure... lotsa stuff along those lines. And then there’s the ever classic infinite roulette game of insanity: ‘paid for college (or whatever) by being/got rich by being/gets off on being/leads a double life as/is undercover as/used to be/is mistaken for/pretends to be/wants to be/is forced to be/is being lured into becoming/is basically the same person {cause you’re playing the same muse - a stripper/porn star/lingerie & nude model/hooker/high class escort/assassin for hire/notorious thief/criminal in general/heir to a famous crime family/rockstar/other type of celebrity/is married to/divorced from/related to (somebody rich and famous)/vampire/mermaid/witch/werewolf/alien/ghost/superhero/immortal/time traveler/pirate/ninja/dinosaur/rocket ship/shark toast/swirly whirly junglepants/several or all of the above/is basically the same person {cause you’re playing the same muse - and somebody knows/finds out/stumbles over the intel/gets dragged into it/starts investigating by looking into something unrelated/gets an (anonymous) tip/comes from that world too (and is either keeping the same secret or the complete opposite, is well known for it/comes from another but equal/similar/conflicting/antagonistic situation/is basically the same person {cause you’re playing the same muse}’ {you get the point, these could all go on forever and range from slightly canon-divergent to the crackyassest bloody shit you could ever imagine... Now, I’m not saying I could imagine Gidge in any and all kinds of scenarios, but I’m never not up for at least spitballing, no matter how cracky and insane it might seem.} {Back to the serious side though, I love the whole secret thing so much, so there’s gazillions of headcanons/ideas that I have, but not too many that I’d just ascribe to Gidget in general, so it really depends on the thread.}
ϟ who means the most to your muse? why? Her girl. She’s the love of her life and the world wouldn’t make sense without her in it. And while Bridget had a life before her, since she met Franky/Lorraine/*insert your muse’s name if you wish*, she can’t imagine ever going back to that because she doesn’t even remember what she was living for before she experienced the love they have for each other. 
☛ what is your muse’s biggest regret? {I’m gonna leave this basically open for now because I think that would heavily depend on plot and thread and whatnot.} For example, if she did have a kid that she lost somehow, obvi it’d be that... but ‘kids are gross’ versions of her never even would’ve had said child and thus would have entirely different biggest regrets... ex pro-surfer Gidge might forever mourn the loss of that career and might not ever stop resenting whatever ended it... {so yeah, options, options, options... with variations... and alternatives... so just scroll back up to that roulette wheel and we’ll leave it at that until something specific comes along.}
❥ is your muse cool? She thinks she is anyway... XD Nah, she’s chill, but she def has that adorkable side too. Especially when she’s actively trying to be cool... like that ‘I’m not a screw’ scene... {Sorry babe, but your inner Elsa had her gloves on there...}
✯ which three traits define your muse? {Actually... lemme change this one a bit... you can do either version, whatever you prefer.} to be answered at some point in the not so distant future {So I just realized this is just gonna make this post a lot longer and doesn’t even quite fit in with the headcanon thing anymore anyway and can easily be a whole other tag thing by itself...}
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♕ would your muse hug a monster? *smiles at @governinglion​ with wide open arms* {PS: Dude, we really should start talking about starting something... I even have a couple of ideas I’ve been meaning to shoot at ya but haven’t yet cause my ADD is playing fucking pinball with me atm...}
❣ is your muse a fighter or a lover? What’s with the ‘or’? It’s entirely possible to be both at the same time... Just sayin... So yeah, definitely both. Particularly so when the lover brings out the fighter. (That goes for kinkyass passion-motivated activities as well as the ‘my love for you will make me fight to the death and I ain’t letting nothing and no one get in my way’ thing.) 
✎ what does life mean to your muse? Biologically, she’s pro-choice. Philosophically... okay, yeah, nope... not gonna go there. To answer in some profound yet vague and still revealing way I’d have to write a fucking epos. So I’ll pass. Your call whether you wanna ponder the meaning of life or disregard this one too.
Disclaimer: Actually this was a meme before I misappropriated it for this. So all credit for the questions goes to whoever wrote them originally. @vhsmeme I think... I hope you don’t mind that I turned it into a tag thing instead. By the time I realized I should’ve fucking asked you first, I had already written most of the replies... so...
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But yeah, not cool to just assume it’d be okay, and I acknowledge that. Sorry!-ish. In my defense tho... there’s a hugeass ‘free-for-all’ right there in the title... I just realized that... XD
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“In 2017, after receiving a bone marrow transplant, my eight-year-old daughter Grace and I lived in the isolation ward at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. Her immune system had been intentionally destroyed with chemo and radiation so that her body would accept the transplanted cells. Thank God, the procedure was successful and after four months in strict isolation, we were allowed to come home.
That’s when life became truly terrifying for me. Her doctors projected it would take six to nine months for her new immune system to heal. Until then any contact with germs, viruses, mold, mildew or spores could be deadly to her. Except for medical care, Grace and I lived in social isolation. For six months straight. 
I wanted to share what we learned as a family from our experiences while you and your family, and the rest of America, live in partial or complete social isolation during the CoronaVirus-19 crisis. 
Worst Case Scenario The hospital's child life specialist’s advice seemed so counterintuitive that we ignored it at first. She told us to keep disciplining our kids as if everything was normal. There should be extra compassion and flexibility, she said, but the basic rules need to stay in place. She was right.
Kids can piece together snippets of news, emotions, and changes in their environment. If you let go of the family rules they will conclude that you’ve given up all hope of them growing up into respectful, responsible adults in the future. They’ll give up hope, believing that you’ve given up hope for them to have a future. 
So don’t be tempted to let everything slide. I know you might be just barely holding on, but keep the rules they already know (and don’t be tempted to add new ones). You might need to change how you implement the consequences, but as much as you can, keep the normalcy that rules bring for your kids.
Tell No Lies Here’s another counterintuitive one, especially if you have young children. Grace was four when she was diagnosed with cancer the first time. The child life specialist told us that she was old enough to know the truth, in an age-appropriate way. 
So we explained cancer to her. We told her before she got procedures. We explained that her hair would fall out, and that allowed us to help her mentally prepare. When we didn’t know what was age-appropriate, we waited for her to ask. Anything she asked we answered honestly.
We were taught that if we “white-lied” to Grace, like saying a shot wouldn’t hurt, then she would be in constant apprehension, not knowing what to expect. She wouldn’t be able to rely on us to help her navigate her crisis. If you don’t tell the truth kids will feel it but they won’t have enough information to come to logical conclusions. They’ll always assume the worst. 
And as Mr. Rogers said, “Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.”
Don’t tread water.  As a person, and especially as a parent, don’t allow yourself to tread water during a crisis. You need to have enough physical, mental and emotional strength at all times. Especially if the Coronavirus-19 lasts more than a few weeks.
I learned that lesson the hard way, living at the children’s hospital. I thought if I ignored my basic needs it would give me more time to take care of my daughter. First I ignored my body’s gentle reminders like hunger and exhaustion. I ignored my husband and concerned friend’s suggestions. Eventually, my body’s red flags went unnoticed altogether. 
My head was just barely above the crashing waves of crisis. Anytime a new problem came, big or little, it forced me underwater and I was left holding my breath, praying I wouldn’t drown. And that’s a dangerous place for any parent to be. 
You might need to force yourself to eat and sleep. Be honest if you need help. Exercise and relax if you can. Depriving yourself during a crisis won’t solve any problems, but ignoring yourself is guaranteed to make new ones. 
Find your minimum In a parent's support group at the hospital, we were taught that every parent needs to find their minimum during a crisis. It’s the minimum thing we need every day to feel like there was a moment of caring for ourselves. A moment of small victory. Mine is to eat a piece of good chocolate every night. Another parent said they needed to drink their coffee while it was hot. Another parent needed to have a long, hot shower.  
You might need morning devotional time, or go for a walk, or make your bed, or listen to your favorite song instead of Baby Shark. Only you know your minimum, and it can’t be ignored. It must happen every day. Your minimum guarantees one victory, and in a crisis, you need at least one to keep you going.
Plant a tree. Later.  There is a time and a place to be Martha Stewart. Right now is neither. I’m a recycling, anti-plastic, organic-food kind of mom. But we’re in a crisis. And this is the right time for paper plates. I still cringe when I use them, but skipping dishes when surviving is smart. You can’t afford a fight with your spouse over the dishes. You can’t afford to run out of energy while sanitizing all surfaces, at the same as potty training the puppy, at the same time you’re not sleeping well, at the same time your daughter hits puberty, while doing the dishes. You can’t afford to burn out. 
You can afford to plant a tree later, or better yet, use bamboo paper plates now (they’re more sustainable). During a crisis, take all the shortcuts you can.  
Leave the spices alone.  When we were living in isolation at home I would find myself organizing the entire kitchen, right down to the spices. I generally hate all forms of housework, but it was my way of trying to control the only kingdom I could rule. And yes, I suppose my neatly organized kitchen made me happy for about three minutes. Then my three-year-old son would come “help” me. I’d feel even more out of control than before.
We’ve never been in total control of our lives. We know that, but it feels more threatening with the Coronavirus-19 raging around us. In times of crisis, coming to grips with that truth can be a crisis in itself. 
But trying to compensate for the loss of control takes a lot of work to maintain and it never works out well. Aggressive organizing, unrealistic expectations, codependency, or short fuses are some of the gentler outlets of trying to steal back control. Eating addiction, alcohol addiction, or drug addiction, self-harm, and abuse are the more obvious and deadly forms of it. 
When I was able to admit that I wasn’t in total control of my life, I was surprised by the weight that was lifted off my chest. I can do my part, but I can only do my part. That focuses my attention and energy to do what I can do, instead of dwell on the things I can’t.”
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elle-stevens · 5 years
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The Break Up Blog - Day Eight
I slept like crap last night. 
I don’t know if it was work anxiety concerning the start of a new semester or X Blues or a combination of both, but it felt like I barely slept at all. I had dreams though, but it feels like those dreams happened in spurts of only a few minutes in-between tossing and turning restlessly for hours on end. 
Either way, I blame X for my lack of sleep. Maybe if she hadn’t stressed me out for months about her so-called health issues or her very real financial issues, my sleeping habits wouldn’t be so out of whack these days. Most days, it felt like I was babysitting a small child in our relationship, considering that X is very much an adult and only a few years younger than me. 
Luckily, a shower and vats of coffee sorted me out quickly enough, and then I went back to work after nearly 5 weeks of summer holidays. I thought it would be hard to look my colleagues dead in the eye and brazenly lie about how wonderful my recent vacation with X was. But it was absurdly easy because at the end of the day, I have a professional aura to maintain at work. And despite people’s best attempts at empathy, no one really cares about my problems. 
With that said, maintaining a professional aura actually helped to drive thoughts of X out of my head for most of the day. I felt like a slight twisting sensation in my heart when I looked at X’s picture placed face-down on top of my desk. At the start of the school year, I had printed a picture of X and made a cute photo frame out of paper originally created from an old classroom activity. I had done the same thing with a picture of my family and stuck both pictures on the side of my cubicle. But my friend and colleague C came into work a few days ago and reminded me that X’s picture was still in my cubicle and asked me if I wanted her to get rid of it for me. A part of me was sorely tempted to tell C to do it, but I hesitated. This was my relationship and I should be the one to either hold on it or let it go in my own time. So after seeing the picture on my desk, I placed it under a stack of old papers. At least it’s out of sight and I’ll finally get rid of it when I’m ready. 
Work was filled with meeting after meeting about what assessments to do with the students for this semester, which placement tests to give the new students who will come to school tomorrow for their first day of class and finally, who would be teaching extracurricular classes in the afternoons and evenings for extra pay. As per usual, C was aggravated because our other colleagues kept pestering her to help them with their teaching and admin problems, so she didn’t have time to prepare her own lesson. I’m honestly quite happy to fly under the radar at work, especially since I’m not planning on staying at the same school next year. My break-up with X has got me thinking a lot about the future and what I want to do now. It’s really scary and overwhelming, but just maybe this is God’s way of opening a window when a door has closed. 
C invited me this morning to go window shopping with her for some new sneakers at a flea market near home after work, but I declined. I’m still not quite ready to be out and about in the world again. Besides, I’m pretty exhausted from my almost sleepless night. So I skipped going to the gym and making beef noodles for dinner tonight and bought a chicken burger and fries instead. It’s not the healthiest meal imaginable, but I don’t really care these days. I’m not eating nearly as much food lately because I’m depressed about life in general, but maybe I’ll lose a bit of weight in the process. My new colleague, CI, is thinking of joining my gym and I told him to let me know when he does any exercise. It’s getting harder for me to motivate myself to work, so maybe I could go jogging with CI sometimes in the evenings to get myself back out there. 
I got home pretty early and ate my unhealthy dinner while watching more of ‘Cinderella Chef’. As much as I’ve been recently burned by love and romance, I still can’t help rooting for the main couple in this drama. I may not have high hopes for my personal life, but I love shipping other people and supporting their happiness. Just because I’m a little lovelorn these days, it doesn’t mean that other people should suffer too, even fictional characters. Although, it’s hard to hear about some of my friends and acquaintances who are dating or getting married these days. I thought I was getting closer to the latter commitment with X, but I guess it was all a lie in the end. 
I’m doing my best to look for new jobs even though my current work contract won’t end until the end of February next year. I sent my teaching CV for a Chinese school that needs a teacher on Saturdays for three hours in September onwards and I’ll be teaching a demo lesson at another Chinese school that an acquaintance of mine and her husband own on Thursday evening. I’m a little nervous about teaching a class at a new school, even just for practice. But maybe it will be a good experience and prove that all the crappy circumstances at my current school haven’t diminished my skills as a teacher. 
The main goal is to try and get some rest tonight. But if sleep doesn’t come, maybe I’ll just read or play video games till I fall asleep. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll find a rented bike in the middle of the night and just ride around the city. I love that I can do that in most Asian cities because it’s so safe. I never had that freedom while living in my home country. Wherever I go next after this, I hope I can keep that freedom to just be me, no matter what package that comes in. I don’t like that X started criticising me more and more for being myself around her, quirks and all. I used to think that she was the only person who accepted me for who I was, flaws and all. But I was wrong; in one way or the other, she was also trying to manipulate me. She wanted me to fit into a box that she created and controlled.
But that’s not love.
I guess I also wanted X to fit into a perfectly shaped box of my own where we shared the same type of family, the same values, even the same number in our bank accounts. But that was never going to be possible so long as we both held onto our unrealistic expectations. Maybe we didn’t really love and accept each other as much as we both thought. 
Time to wrap up this entry and start getting ready for bed. It’s ridiculously early, not even 18:30 yet. But I want to get settled for bed as soon as possible so I have enough time to rest. In the past, I used to lay my head down on a pillow and tell myself a story, or a fantasy if you will. The story was always romantic in nature. Sometimes it involved me and someone else; other times, it involves two celebrities that I ship together. Before, it used to be me and a man I desired; after a while, the stories became about me and X in different scenarios and circumstances.
I would tell myself those stories, inventing whole dialogues that made me smile with pride. But ever since I thought that X was sick with a terminal illness and the intimacy stopped between us, I ran into a mental block. I couldn’t fantasise about me and her without getting depressed and worried. So I started inserting other women into my stories to replace Princess so I could escape my misery, if only for a short time. 
Lately, I’ve started telling myself a new story at night to soothe my troubled thoughts and helped me relax. This new story isn’t about romance or pent-up longing. It’s about me and the life I want to have as a single woman. In this story, I have my own house that I’ve bought and paid for with cosy interior decorating and a big garden with a hammock and a swimming pool. I have a golden retriever puppy named Echo who’s always happy to see me and ready to play, and vice versa. I have this image of me making breakfast in my beautiful kitchen that’s spacious and filled with lots of nifty cooking gadgets and utensils when Echo comes bounding in from the garden through the doggy door. I scoop him up and kiss him on his cute button nose and put some wet food in his bowl and let him sit on the kitchen table while we both eat our breakfasts and I read a book on my iPad. Then Echo and I will hop into my car, a silver Audi R8 and I’ll drive to a pet day care centre where Echo spends his time while I’m at work. And then I’ll head to my job, where I get to select the music used in movies or episodes of TV shows, I’ll sit in a meeting sharing my thoughts and ideas and my colleagues will give me praise and constructive feedback. In all of those scenes from playing with my pet, eating breakfast, driving and working, everything is peaceful and harmonious. In this story, I feel happy and satisfied with my life. 
I like this new story that’s unfolding, even if it’s just in my imagination. It’s not finished yet, but I hope it can become a reality soon. 
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junker-town · 6 years
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The worst commercials of the 2017 MLB postseason
Which commercials have driven you mad this postseason? We ranked the worst five.
It’s month 38 of the MLB postseason, and you’re running out of potable water again. You always do this. You always forget that the postseason is basically an extended, eternal version of the Joe Buck tweet. You’ve watched ... how many hours of baseball this month?
During those games, there are commercials. You have watched these commercials several times, and you want to stab all of them in the ear. It’s time to rank these commercials in order of how angry you are at them.
Before we get started, I would like to point out that this postseason marked the first year where we were not bombarded with boner commercials. Scientists have been concerned for years that commercial over-farming of sultry 40-year-old vixens with British accents would have devastating consequences, and the fallout is all around us. Rest in peace, boner commercials. You were good material for me. I have a feeling they will be back next year, though. Oh, yes, they will ... rise again.
Anyway, these are in reverse order, but know that I have a lot of regrets about the ones I missed. It seems like it was just never that I was in a Taco Bell and thinking about how that place needed to start screwing around with eggs, and then we were treated to the “what the” commercial 47 times per day. It makes me want an update of this Onion piece about George W. Bush’s paintings, but with Stephen A. Smith and someone retching up slimy Taco Bell eggtillas the morning after a wild night. There were too many horrible commercials to list.
These were the very worst, however. Please, just read the words. Don’t watch them again. You have so much to live for.
5. Bryce Harper’s T-Mobile ads
I have T-Mobile, mostly because when I’m in the woods or on the coast or in the mountains, I don’t want to have reception. It’s great not to have reception, actually. It’s totally great. So great. Anyway, my point is that I’m a rabid baseball consumer with T-Mobile, and I’m still not sure what’s in it for me. Do I get to go on the field during the games? I probably get to go on the field during the games. Gonna swipe me a rosin bag.
The reason I hate these commercials so much isn’t necessarily the content. They’re only mildly obnoxious, and there’s an Only Mildly Obnoxious category at the Clio Awards every year. No, I hate them because they’re a living reminder that the Nationals fall into an open elevator shaft every postseason, and Bryce Harper plummets down with them.
Check out this unfortunate spot:
Hitting a walk-off is unexpected ... but not for Bryce Harper!
It’s not his fault the Nationals didn’t advance! I’m not trying to pick on him. And I suppose, technically, the commercial did reference a walk-off homer, and Harper didn’t have a chance to hit one of those. But every time I see the commercials, I’m reminded that Bryce Harper dominates in the postseason, just not in the way he wants.
It’s depressing, really. Stop making me sad that we’ll won’t see Bryce Harper in the World Series until he’s on the Dodgers.
4. Frog Tape
This commercial, man.
FROG TAPE EXEC: So what we’re looking for is a commercial to run during baseball games, and we want it to have a baseball theme.
COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR: Oui.
FROG TAPE EXEC: Is that something you can riff on?
COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR: Je ne connais pas grand-chose de votre “base-ball,” mais je vais honorer vos souhaits.
Have you paid attention to the play-by-play? It’s brutal.
In comes the All-Star, with the game on the line.
So far, so good.
Let’s see if Smith can protect his home turf.
Nobody really says that, but okay. They’re syncing the audio with the action on the screen, which is painting, so they’re trying to pun-associate here. Also, I wonder if the first draft had “Jones,” but they were worried it would be too exotic.
He’s really painting the corners tonight.
At this point, it’s pretty clear that Smith is a closer. He’s protecting his home turf. There’s an emphasis on the quality pitching.
And here’s the 3-2 pitch ... Smith pulls one to right ... a walk-off homer to win the game. What an amazing finish.
Wait ... Smith was the batter? Why would the batter protect his home turf? Who was the dingus who wrote play-by-play for a baseball game without listening to a baseball game on the radio and then didn’t run it by someone who had listened to a baseball game on the radio?
Also, there are no exclamation points in that blockquote because it doesn’t deserve them. The announcer’s call is like something from the SNES, where there just wasn’t enough memory on the cartridge to include actual excitement. That’s the voice I use when the vending machine spits out two Nutrageous bars instead of one, and if a real announcer did that, I would hope that he’d be fired the next day.
The only good news is that I learned that FrogTape is for painting. My little guys are going to be so happy and free in their tank now, and I feel awful about the misunderstanding.
3. GEICO referee
As usual, GEICO has a dumb ad, and as usual, they pay for 4,399 hours of run time and a man to break into your home and whisper the copy into your ear while you sleep. I took notes all postseason for this column, and I had four GEICO commercials listed. The worst part is that I didn’t realize that two of them were actually GEICO commercials. There was the Gary on a motorcycle (which engages in tasteless, regressive dork-shaming), repurposed He-Man footage (NOT CANON), and the triangle solo at the symphony (a professional triangler would have better chops than that, come on), and only the last one actually stuck as a GEICO commercial in my brain.
I’ve watched some of those commercials 57 times, probably. No idea they were GEICO. And they don’t care. They just hope to have one of their six dozen commercials to stick in the brain of every living American.
The worst problem problem with GEICO is that they use the flimsiest damned tag lines to shoehorn in their crappy jokes.
If you’re a ref, you way over-explain things. It’s what you do.
They are one step away from a dog-humping-the-leg-of-a-Paul-Bunyan-statue commercial. It’s what you do. And the triangle solo is worse:
A triangle solo? Surprising.
This is what people do. This is surprising. It’s the laziest crap imaginable.
A tree trying to parallel park? That’s a mess. What’s not a mess is ...
Hey, GEICO, hire me. Pay me six figures. I have cracked your code.
No one expects a magician to conduct a choo-choo train. That’s silly. What’s not silly is how much you’ll save ...
I require eight weeks of paid vacation, during which time I will meditate on the pain and suffering I have caused others.
If you sleep in the supply room at your office, you might wake up with a stapler lodged in your colon, and that hurts. What won’t hurt are your low rates at ...
Call me. I hate you. Call me.
2. Woman stressed out about her friend who lost her debit card
This ad is unrealistic because this woman cannot possibly have friends. She has never survived a single ride with another person without getting thrown out of the moving car, as if mobsters were trying to send her a message. Her panic grows and grows and grows, and if the commercial were 10 seconds longer, she would start shrieking like a locust person and physically trying to alter her friend’s behavior by attempting to crawl into her body through her mouth.
The real problem is the actress is too good in this role. I can’t imagine the character in scenarios that actually matter.
That mole looks weird to me. Shouldn’t you be worried about that mole? It seems like it’s an odd shape. Such an odd shape. Do you know the ABCDEs of melanoma? That’s asymmetry, border, color, diameter, and evolution, and that one has asymmetry, at least, and I’m starting to think the color is off. Don’t you think the color is off? You should get that checked out. I’m going to drive you to the dermatologist. I’m going to get you there right now. Actually, I’m just going to pull over and bite the mole off your arm with my filed, pointy teeth, and then I will bathe in your incurious blood. Because you should get that checked out.
The sneaky worst part is the friend, who doesn’t care that she lost her debit card. Do you know how annoying it is to lose a debit card? Oh, man, it’s the worst. It upends your life for at least three or four days. You have to start carrying way more cash around than you’re used to. You have to use checks like you’re a steampunk version of yourself. And even after your card arrives, you’re punched in the groin two months later when you realize that you used the old card to autopay your water bill, and now you can’t shower before your date.
This woman is like, “Oh, ha ha, I’ll just turn the card off and sit on hold for a half-hour to get a new card later. Good thing I’m on vacation, where it’s super convenient to be carrying around $800 in cash at all times. Maybe I can have them get that to me in nickels,” and I don’t like her obliviousness.
But at least she’s not her friend.
1. Sweet Caroline
This could be spots one through five, and no one would blink. Everyone hates this commercial. Neil Diamond wants to throw a sequined flip-flop through the screen whenever he sees it. Even people from Boston think they’ve gone too far. It’s a godless commercial of the damned, and no one will be spared.
The only thing I can think of is that Hyundai has a very specific demographic, but they didn’t know how to reach it.
AD EXEC 1: “Hyundai: A car for assholes, by assholes.”
AD EXEC 2: I keep telling you, we can’t say that.
AD EXEC 1: “You’re an asshole. Drive the car that’s made for assholes.”
AD EXEC 2: We can’t even bleep it out! Move on!
AD EXEC 1: “If you’re an asshole, you don’t need to spend extra money for a BMW. Hyundai has you covered, asshole.”
AD EXEC 2: Stop it! This isn’t helping!
AD EXEC 1: WELL I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
Then, after long, sleepless nights, an epiphany. They’ll just show assholes doing an unbelievably asshole thing and let the viewer decode it.
Imagine the kind of asshole who would sing that loud with the window down. Any song. I’m partial to “Runnin’ with the Devil” because I have my David Lee Roth yowls down, but, dammit, I don’t share that with the world. My window is up, and when I’m at a stoplight, I quiet the hell down. It’s only polite.
Now imagine the asshole who still isn’t sick of “Sweet Caroline.” It’s a great song. It’s also ruined. Move on to “Cracklin’ Rosie” with the rest of us, and keep Jimmy Fallon away from it. There is something fundamentally broken with someone who says, “Oooh! ‘Sweet Caroline’!” in 2017, and you should run away from them.
Now imagine the asshole who would sing “Sweet Caroline” that loudly in traffic with the window down.
Now imagine two of them at the same time.
That isn’t a traffic jam. That’s a terrorist cell. But I guess I shouldn’t be upset at Hyundai. They looked around, and they realized that there are more assholes in 2017 than at any point in history, and assholes buy cars, too. It’s just good business.
This asshole, however, will avoid Hyundai for the rest of his life on general principle. Even in a sea of bad ads, this one is the absolute worst. Bad ads never seemed so bad.
(SO BAD! SO BAD!).
help
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Concept Art
Overview of Premise, Purpose, Features
Purpose
Overthinking as a narrative comes from the notion that something so innocuous as meeting a person for coffee can be so easily misconstrued into something different than what is intended. This premise, particularly relating to coffee, is intriguing because it is an activity that so much of the adult population share together.
Premise
We want to take advantage of this relatability and create a project that plays on the concept of overthinking the simple idea of going out for coffee. Utilizing the common act of asking someone to get coffee, we show the possible explanations of how a person may interpret the request. Through the various scenarios that play out in the lead character’s head, we show the often-absurd reasoning and conclusions that one may reach when excessively contemplating over a harmless situation.
Narrative + User’s Goal
The project will take form as a multi-linear interactive narrative film. The plot involves two friends providing alternative and contradictory versions of the same incident after running into each other at a bus stop. From the perspective of our main character Rick, the audience is led into overthinking the situation, encouraged to guide Rick through the story paths in order to uncover the true motive of his friend when she asks him to get coffee. Regardless of the input from the audience, the divergent narratives in Rick’s perspective unify under a single ending. Alternatively, the same incident through Tina’s perspective is linear, showcasing that there was never any ulterior motive behind going out for coffee. Coupling these two perspectives into one, the audience is presented with an exaggerated, comical, and amusing story.
Character Design
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Rick (Main Character)
Rick is a nervous and paranoid university student who has trouble talking to girls. He tends to overthink harmless situations by creating unrealistic scenarios in his head. When Rick is faced with an issue, he often calls his friends for advice.
In the beginning of the story, Rick is already an awkward, nervous young man. As the story progresses, his awkwardness and nervousness grow even further as he contemplates Tina’s motives. At the end of the narrative, Rick is calmed by a sense of realization that he had over thought the entire situation.
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Tina (Main Character)
Tina is an upbeat, charming, and confident university student, who used to go to highschool with Rick. She also worked with him in a coffee shop in the past. After graduating from high school, she left to Toronto for university. During the spring break, she is back home to visit her family.
As Tina is originally a calm, collected individual, her personality does not evolve as much as Rick’s does. She remains level-headed throughout the narrative.
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Kevin (Complementary Character)
Rick’s goofy best friend since childhood who is currently studying graphic design in university. As a creative individual, Kevin often comes up with crazy ideas and schemes that get himself and Rick in trouble. He is loud, energetic, and not afraid to blurt out crazy ideas.
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Caroline (Complementary Character)
Caroline is Rick’s conservative friend who balances out Kevin’s colorful personality. She has a rational, calculating personality and is the voice of reason when Rick overthinks.
Storyworld and Subsetting Design
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Geography + Location
In North America, grabbing coffee is a common social activity when friends want to get together, as drinking coffee is a part of modern day life for many young adults. Our storyworld is set in Vancouver, Canada, where this coffee drinking culture is in abundance.
The main locations where the narrative takes place are our two characters’ houses and a coffee house where they used to work at when they were in high school. As well as a various outdoor settings such as walkways, bus stops, and lecture room in university campus.
The coffee house is meaningful because it is the setting where Rick and Tina’s friendship first began, the setting where they became distant, and the setting where they reconnect in the end. As homes are generally viewed as spaces of safety, Rick and Tina’s houses act as places where they should feel calm and secure. The outdoor settings act as transitions to move the narrative forward.
Time period
The story takes place in the present time, in 2017. Tina is currently visiting her family in Vancouver during the spring break. She has only been back for two days but she is already beginning to crave the oranges from her local food market where she used to go to when she was in high school. On her way to the market she bumps into her old high school friend, Rick. After a short conversation, she asks Rick if he wants to get coffee the next day because they haven’t spoken since she left for university in Toronto.
Narrative or Gaming Elements Design
The beginning interface is an interaction point where the user can choose who’s story to follow: Rick or Tina. We added the option to travel through Tina’s perspective to showcase how extreme and exaggerated Rick’s perspective is. Tina’s condensed, straightforward view is used to contrast Rick’s extended, complicated view. The purpose of this element is to afford the user the ability to choose which perspective they want to view the story though.
The tone of Rick’s perspective is generally quite erratic, in order to showcase his emotions when he is overthinking the text that Tina sends him.
Scene 1
Rick encounters his high school friend Tina at the bus stop, where they have a conversation and exchange contact information.
Scene 2
Rick receives a text from Tina saying “I can’t wait for tomorrow!”, which leads Rick to overthink what Tina’s motives might be. This scene is an interaction point where the user is able to choose between three options, which will establish the narrative they experience in the story. We added this multi-linearity to our story to represent Rick’s overthinking personality. By adding decision points, we can showcase Rick’s uncertain nature.
Scene 2A (Rick assumes Tina is asking him on a date)
As Rick overreacts, he concludes that he should call one of his friends for dating advice. This is an interaction point where the user can choose between two friends for Rick to call. As Rick is a nervous, paranoid individual, he often seeks guidance from his friends, so we included a scenario where he looks to his friends for answers.
- Scene 2A1: Rick calls his friend Kevin, who suggests that Rick should wear an outrageous outfit to impress Tina.
- Scene 2A2: Rick calls his friend Caroline, who suggests that Rick should wear something conservative, in case the meeting is not actually a date.
Scene 2A Resolution
Rick wears the outfit and buys flowers, but unfortunately gets splashed by a car while walking to the coffee shop.
Rick runs home, changes into a fresh outfit, and makes his way back to the coffee shop.
Scene 2B (Rick thinks Tina wants to meet with him so they can catch up)
Rick experiences a flashback where he and Tina used to work with each other.
Back to reality, Rick decides to write Tina an apology letter for what he did to her when they worked together.
After writing his letter, Rick practices reciting the letter all night and imagines how Tina might react. This is an interaction point where the user has two options to choose how Tina will react. We added this interaction because based on Rick’s nervousness, he has bad judgement when thinking about how people may react to things.
- Scene 2B1: Tina reacts well to the apology and says their incident is in the past.
- Scene 2B2: Tina becomes emotional and claims she will never forgive him.
Scene 2B Resolution
Rick walks to the coffee house feeling nervous and anxious for his meeting with Tina.
Scene 2C (Rick assumes that Tina wants to meet with him so she can ask him a favour)
As Rick is watching a television crime show, he over thinks and assumes that Tina is going to ask him a serious crime related favour.
Rick daydreams a scenario where he tells Tina he can’t help her because he is travelling to Yemen, concluding she won’t buy it because she’s not dumb.
Rick daydreams a scenario where he gets Kevin to call him as he is meeting Tina, so he has an excuse to leave the coffee shop. He concludes that Kevin will probably forget his responsibility.  
Rick daydreams a scenario where he tells Tina he can’t help her because he has to work on a project, but he concludes that is not a strong enough reason.
Scene 2C Resolution
Rick realizes it is already morning, so he gets ready and walks to the coffee house feeling nervous for his meeting with Tina.
Scene 3
Rick meets Tina, quickly realizing she had no ulterior motive, and just wanted to have coffee with him.
The tone of Tina’s perspective is generally quite controlled, in order to showcase her carefree emotions as she is going about her day.
Although Rick’s perspective incorporates interaction elements, Tina’s perspective does not. We chose to do this to create a contrast between Rick’s branching narrative and Tina’s straightforward, linear narrative.
Scene 1
Tina encounters his high school friend Rick at the bus stop, where they have a conversation and exchange contact information.
Scene 2
Tina takes the bus to the grocery store, then takes the bus again to go home.
Scene 3
Once Tina gets home, she makes dinner and watches a Korean drama, then washes the dishes and goes to shower. Before she sleeps, Tina lays in bed and texts her friends Rick, Jenny, and Alex to hangout since she is back from her spring or semester break.
Scene 4
Tina wakes up, gets ready and leaves home to meet Rick.
Scene 5
On her way to the coffee shop, she is greeted by her neighbor and welcomed back from her break.
Scene 6
Tina arrives at the coffee house before Rick and sits down. He arrives a bit later and they begin having a completely normal conversation.
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