#wh parental swap au

[lilis-doodle-dome]

Mafukasa swap au, with in game screen cap edits

Things that swapped:

- Parents level of overbearing (Tenma’s are incredibly suffocating, while mafumom is well intentioned but left mfy alone far too much)

- roles in the group (Emu is WxS’ leader, while Mafuyu is Niigo’s)

- appearance of Sekai (Tsukasa has a more monochrome/depressing vibe, while Mfy’s is fanciful and colorful)

- outward persona (Tsukasa is the golden boy, perfect at everything, well mannered, etc. while Mafuyu is outgoing, confident, helpful (even when it’s not asked for), etc.)

Things that did not swap:

- Gender, and therefore school’s they go to

- which group they’re in

- familial situation outside of parents (Tsukasa is still Saki’s older brother and the Tenma’s are still close with the Aoyagi’s, Mfy is still a single child)

- Tsukasa is still the one with memory issues, so Mafuyu is influenced by bad memories from her past from the get go instead of slowly remembering them (she is still completely unwilling to actually engage with said memories even if she remembers them though)

- Which VS’s they start with (Mafuyu is just miku, Tsukasa is Miku and Kaito)

Other important things: (if interested)

- Saki and Tsukasa’s relationship is a lot more strained, Saki has incredibly conflicting feelings about her brother and Tsukasa always has his front up, even around her, so they can’t have a proper conversation

- Toya also has a stilted relationship with Kasa, both the Tenma’s and his father tended to compare the two boys. So while he still looks up to Tsukasa, he has some reservations about weather his admiration is genuine or just feelings implanted in him from the adults. Toya’s much closer with Saki, as he visited her a lot in the hospital (initially at Tsukasa’s request)

- Mafmom is a single mom, and a doctor. Needless to say she is busy *a lot*, bcs of that she’s always needed Mafuyu to be self sufficient and responsible, far before the age one could reasonably except for a child. She still loves Mafuyu very much and always tries her best to give her daughter a free and happy life

- Rather than an actor, Mafuyu found her passion in writing poetry. She wants to become the best poet of all time, which is what leads her to writing lyrics for K’s songs. Only the best composer could possibly support the best lyricist after all!

- Mafuyu’s love of writing comes from remembering all the times in the past her mom would come home late at night, looking exhausted both physically and emotionally, mfy would stay up to see her and then the two would cuddle under the blankets and read together. In those moments it would really feel like none of the rest of the day existed and all those pains and anxieties would slip away from her mother as they were transported to another world in their stories

- some time into this ritual, mafuyu started writing her own stories for her mother, and while Mafumom said she loved all of Mafu’s writing there was something special about her poetry that completely dispelled all of mafumom’s bad feelings and just let her live in the lines of text

- after that poetry became mafuyu’s life, and her Sekai is built off her desire to help people feel better with her work.

- Tsukasa’s Sekai also doesn’t match canon mafuyu’s it’s not built off his desire to disappear, instead it’s his desire to be his own person and figuring out who he even is in the first place (the other three can enter his sekai due to their shared desire of wanting to be themselves without getting hurt for it)

- Tsukasa hopes that by acting, he might resonate with a role and it’ll help him learn more about himself

- since they’re in the images, fun fact, Ruikasa kizuna rank title is ‘charity case’ (in place of 1-2 weirdo wombo combo) due to people assuming perfect, golden boy Tsukasa only started spending time with Rui because Teachers were hoping he would keep Rui out of trouble and get other students to look at Rui more favorably (thus Rui is Tsukasa’s ‘charity case’)

- while kanamafu’s kizuna rank is ‘please take a break’ due to both of them trying to constantly get the other to take better care of themselves. Mafuyu always saying Kanade needs to eat and sleep rather than composing all the time, while Kanade is desperately trying to make Mafuyu realize that working all day and putting ‘110%’ into everything she does, is infact unhealthy and not ‘the work ethic every good writer should strive for’ (it is not working on either end, Kanade is too guilty and mafuyu is too deep in denial)

I have a lot for this au, but making certain things is,,, difficult. To say the least

#edit #my edit #art #in game screenshots #au #swap au #project sekai #pj sekai #pjsk #tsukasa tenma #pjsk tsukasa #tsukasa #mafuyu #mafuyu asahina #pjsk mafuyu #rui kamishiro #pjsk rui #rui #kanade yoisaki #pjsk kanade #kanade #info #read more

[wellthebardsdead]

So I rewrote my swapped au series to fit with the arrival of kiriko and her parents, it’s still just as painful, and maybe y’all will like my semi canon demon daddy Sojiro more than my original Headcanon demon daddy Sojiro, I renamed it to Mononoke Au ~Bambi

———

Hanzo: *barely 16yrs old, staring at his fathers grave, trying to keep a straight face while Genji cries softly beside him* …

Genji: i-I don’t understand a-Anija, he was okay a few days ago, he was healthy! Wh-why did he die so suddenly? W-was he sick and kept it from us?…

Hanzo: *gently hugs him* I don’t know Ototo… I don’t know…

Hanzos Uncle: Are you two still moping over that dead sod? Hurry up and get changed we got a meeting in an hour!

Hanzo: *tearfully places a flower on his fathers grave* yes uncle…

*Meanwhile beneath the castle*

Sojiro: *very much alive but very injured, laying on the cold damp floor of the dungeon, the smell of mold and rotting wood filling his bloodied nostrils doing nothing to distract from the pain of his broken legs* b-brother- please- please don’t hurt them- I’ll behave please- please

Sojiros Brother: *standing over him holding a bat, gently presses it into his neck lifting his chin to look up at him properly* Shhhhhhh, *smirks* Just keep behaving yourself and signing whatever we give you and I promise they’ll stay unharmed~ but you set one foot out of line and- *lifts the bat up suddenly bringing it down on Sojiros arm fracturing it*

Sojiro: *vision going white as his eyes roll back in agony, in too much pain to even scream* A-aghhhh-…

Sojiros brother: *pushes the bat into the damaged limb twisting it making his brother cry out and whimper* I’ll be doing that and much worse to them, starting with that brat, Genji. Got it?

Sojiro: *in a cold sweat from pure agony, sobbing quietly as he stares up at his brother in fear* g-got it…

Sojiros brother: good… *drops the bat narrowly missing his brothers mangled legs as he walks out closing the iron bars behind him*

Sojiro: *laying there sobbing quietly as he stares at the ceiling of his dark prison* Hanzo… Genji… please… stick together…

*A few years later*

Sojiros brother: *walking down into the dungeon holding a bowl of barely edible food, muttering to himself as he walks* stupid guards, I pay out the ass for them to keep an eye on a decrepit old man and they’re too afraid of him to go near him, pfft, what a joke… *walks over to the bars only to see darkness in the cell* oi. Soji. Food.

*silence*

Sojiros brother: oi! You deaf!? I said food!

*silence*

Sojiros brother: *growls and moves to throw the bowl to the ground* OI-

*Rustling fabric against wet stone and dirt*

???: o-o-onii-san… I-is th-that you?…

Sojiros brother: *pauses and smirks thinking his brothers mind is so far gone he’s reverted back to when they were kids* yeah, it’s me Ototo, comere, I got food for you.

???: food?… I-I’m so hungry… nobodies f-fed me in days…

Sojiros brother: *suddenly feeling dread building in his stomach, mistaking it for guilt…* I know, I’ll fire those guards… come here and let me look at you Ototo…

???: m-my legs don’t work… it hurts… I can’t… my body… it hurts…

Sojiros brother: *sighs and opens the cell door stepping inside and immediately freezing as the door slams shut behind him* wh-what?… *looks back at it confused and nearly jumps out of his skin feeling something touch his shoe*

???: big brother…

Sojiros brother: *looks down to see a frail hand with short chewed down nails grabbing his foot, caked in dirt and blood* Sojiro?… *pulls out his phone and turns on the flashlight immediately dropping it upon seeing the sight before him* Wh-what are you?

???: OnniI̷͖̓̊ḯ̵̥̌i̵͖̓̋ǐ̸͇̹͠i̸͔̞̐̏-̷̠̺̆S̴̺̭͊ä̵̹̥́͆a̴̩͗͝a̷͓͊̇ǎ̸͕á̴̢a̸̢̒a̴̢̿̃a̷͚̍͌a̴͈̠̽̈n̵̨̜̓ *Slowly rises up off the ground and steps into the light revealing themselves as the palled corpse of Sojiro. Clothes filthy, eyes white, hair down to his ankles and beard unkempt as he reaches out with bony, broken thin arms* Y̶̜̒ō̷̙ů̸̙̼ ̷̡̕̕B̵̟̾̐e̷̩͝ẗ̵͓̇ŗ̴͂ȧ̶̹̿ȳ̸͚e̶̫̔͠ͅd̷̫̊ ̵͈̯̈́̓M̶̝͐̀e̴̺͐̍.̴̛̺̠͑

Sojiros brother: *drops the food and staggers back in shock falling out of the now open cell door only to look back and see. Nothing, no body, no corpse, nothing…* I… *stands up shakily, cautiously looking around as he does so* s-Sojiro?… o-oi, y-you alive?… th-this isn’t funny you fucking asshole! I-ill kill you-I mean it! *looks down at his phone, still illuminating the centre of the seemingly empty cell, starts to nervously shuffle back in to get it* d-don’t try anything funny- I-I already got your brain dead son to kill his brother! I-ill kill him too if you think about trying any- *freezes in place feeling his soul turn to ice as a hot breath sends chills down his spine* … *looks back slowly to see a pair of red eyes staring back at him, red tattooed skin, and large, sharp tusks with a pair of horns to match* n-no-

*Agonised Screaming*

Sojiro: …*standing in the middle of his cell, covered in blood, all four of his hands holding a part of his brother* … *sighs* that feels better…

#mononoke au #overwatch #overwatch shitposts #hanzo shimada #genji shimada #Sojiro shimada #oni!sojiro #tw:body horror #tw: abuse

[littlcfreaks-archive]

closed starter for @thekoolkat

plot: accidentally swapped phones with someone at a party and don’t realize until their mom calls in the morning and you spend like three hours talking to this hilarious woman about life and when you go to her house to return her kid’s phone wow the kid is the really good kisser from the party last night au

Parties were really not Phoebe's normal 'scene' - you were much more likely to find her sitting in the library or in a cafe. However, her friends were insistent that at 26, she was becoming a 70 year old lady about to end up with 12 cats. So, she went out and had a mediocre time. Except for him. She had no idea who he was, what his name was, or where to find him. It was only one kiss, but she couldn't get it out of her head, even the next morning as she was getting ready for her day. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. "That's weird." Her phone was never off of silent, but she picked it up without thinking about it. An unfamiliar woman's voice was on the other line, "Hello? My son left his phone at a party last night. I think he may have yours." Phoebe looked at the phone again, and confirmed to the woman, "Oh, no. I really need my phone, like soon. I'm waiting on a call about my thesis!" She internally started to panic, but the woman continued, letting her know that she could stop by in a few hours and pick up her phone. She let out a sigh of relief.

The woman on the other end introduced herself and they continued to talk - about Phoebe's concerns with the direction of her life, the pressure her parents put on her to support the entire family after college, and about her fears of ending up single. Before she knew it, they had been chatting for hours like they were old friends, "Well, I guess I'll see you soon. I'm on my way now to drop off your son's phone." They said their goodbyes, looking forward to meeting one another in person. It wasn't long before Phoebe arrived at the house and knocked on the door. Her mouth dropped when the door opened. It was him. "Wh- wha.." Her voice trailed off in shock, "Its you. Well, here's your phone." She held the phone out to him, "I need mine back."

#I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG #convo; phoebe #thekoolkat

[kayfarafey]

Greetings!

I think this question is perfect for yours truly.

Defence attorney Miles Edgeworth and Prosecutor Phoenix Wright. Due to some weird supernatural incident they both find themselves in different roles. It's essentially the cliché body-swap-but-each-person-retains-their-own-minds that we've seen all too often in media. Do you have any headcanons, thoughts or similar as to what it would look like if their roles were reversed? We have already seen Edgeworth take on the role of a defence attorney temporarily, and I think he was quite good. Also, what about their dynamic?

I know this may be a question that you possibly need to think about first, so please take as much time as you'd like, or if you don't want to answer it at all, you can definitely let me know in a PM. I don't mind. <3

Thank you and best wishes,

Zieksy

...WAIT ZIEKSY DO YOU NOT KNOW IM WORKING ON A ROLESWAP AU RIGHT NOW? THATS SO CRAZY. read more because i went ham on this response i got so excited

the general premise is that in this au, because theres a bunch of prosecutor phoenix von karma fics out there (complete respect to them, but i don't want to steal anyone's dead horse) is that when phoenix's parents die around the same time as dl-6 occurs in canon, he ends up being taken in by the hawthornes. i wanted to experiment with phoenix's own past instead of just totally switching him with edgeworth, and i love dahlia she's like. Antagonist of All Time. so i wanted to play around with her and what sort of effect she would have if her relationship with phoenix (to clarify, it is a sibling relationship as opposed to a romantic one) was a) actually her, and b) far more significant than an 8 month college romance, with all the complicated messiness of having a family member who is Not a good person but they are your family.

phoenix's defining tenet is his belief in others and his ability to trust them, and while his relationship with dahlia in canon most likely affected that as well it's not really touched upon in detail. something like that would absolutely be seriously damaged by dahlia's hot-and-cold personality as a result of her (imo/hc) npd, as well as her "death" and the subsequent realization that she was alive all along and never told him because she didn't trust him with the secret, because he was too open and honest. after she gets away with killing fawles and valerie hawthorne, phoenix's motivation to become a prosecutor has to do with making sure criminals like her aren't able to evade conviction. it's not quite edgeworth and von karma's "there is no way to determine guilt so we need to prove every defendant is guilty" but more "you cannot put your faith in others to do what they need to do, evidence is everything and people will lie, and i refuse to let criminals escape when their guilt is evident no matter what"

it is also well known that i am a wh*re for beanix wright, so i wanted to utilize that jaded, skeptical element of his characterization. therefore of COURSE prosecutor phoenix has a poker gimmick--if he's not slouched against the bench with his hands in his trouser pockets, he's fiddling with poker chips or a deck of cards. he's almost emotionless, a permanent poker face with just a slight air of smugness. as for his design, i was genuinely thinking "what could be hot and fun" so i have him in a red waistcoat with brass buttons in the shape of the four suits, messy hair and stubble, and a dress shirt with lace decals and no tie. very not-phoenix, which was the intent.

one of the biggest things i wanted to do with this au is address what the potential effects of enduring abuse from someone with narcissism, especially a loss of self-esteem and a loss of identity. when phoenix is taken in by the hawthornes (not out of the kindness of their hearts but more out of obligation) his surname is changed and with dahlia isolating him he really does lose a lot of the stuff that makes him phoenix, in the same way that aa4 phoenix is recognizable but still so different than his character from the trilogy. the red waistcoat of course shows that switch, but phoenix still goes by hawthorne and wears lace (like dahlia) in acknowledgement that more of his life has been spent as phoenix hawthorne than phoenix wright, and the child he once was is not something he can reclaim. that isn't someone he can be again, ever.

oh my god that was all about phoenix. just know you asked for this.

SO WITH EDGEWORTH the accident on december 28th did actually happen, but when von karma was shot by the ricocheting bullet he basically went "fuck this," cut his losses, and dipped instead of shooting gregory. greg ends up with some minor cerebral hypoxia that sometimes affects his motor coordination and short-term memory, so even though miles passes the bar around the same time as canon, he works as his father's co-counsel for 4/5 years. also, because i love her, after byrne faraday's death greg adopts kay so she is edgeworth's little sibling and is actually the defendant in his first solo case. because i am a lunatic i have. all new cases planned. but this is getting so, so long so i wont go into that rn.

he's not so much cold or distant but he is awkward, greg's definitely the heart of their lawyerly duo because he can talk to witnesses without accidentally being too brusque and offending someone. still overly formal, but he loses that rigidity quickly when he's around his family and close friends. one thing i wanted to make sure of is that while he's awkward, he Is still confident in his abilities as a lawyer--think a mix of apollo and post-seven year gap edgeworth. i of course have him in a trench coat, as well as a pretty basic charcoal three-piece and a (tastefully!) blue ascot, because i hate bowties but i wanted to give him dorky neckwear. this contrast of color was literally just because it was fun and i have feenie in red.

AS FOR THEIR DYNAMIC, it's a lot more stilted than in canon. their relationship in canon was built on that childhood connection and phoenix chasing after edgeworth, but that's not the case here. they were important to each other, and edgeworth can't brush that off, but phoenix views miles as a representation of the person who he once was and is not allowed to be anymore. but phoenix is still phoenix, so even when miles pushes only the slightest bit he folds, but his inability to trust edgeworth (even though he wants to) is a huge barrier to the development of their relationship. it's edgeworth's drive in court to unravel the truth and how he values believing in other people that leads phoenix to think about the person he's become. despite not being able to be phoenix wright anymore he still views edgeworth as a paragon of justice and goodness like he did when he was phoenix wright, and if edgeworth believes in that despite everything, if edgeworth believes in him despite everything, edgeworth must be right.

jesus fucking christ i am so sorry. you literally asked this at like. Peak thinking about this au time so you get ten thousand words about it. thank you for asking zieksy you're my moon and stars

#prosecutor phoenix hawthorne #under the cut is word vomit about this au. it's a heavy read. #abuse tw #i talk abt dahlia super quick in there #hot tybalt content

[burnt-toast-life]

Sprites sprites sprites sprites!

#alice levine #witch’s heart oc #wh parental swap au #witch’s heart #look and they aren’t blurry this time

[lunar-wandering]

reverse reverse

so, i wrote a one shot for my Uno Reverse Card Swap AU- and i’ve decided to put all my oneshots and drabbles for it in one fic on ao3.

...anyways though, boom, heres the fic, bon appetit-

Word Count: 1.4k

Read on Ao3

-

MK tossed the staff as hard as he could, his frustration at his lack of progress seeping into the move. Wukong briefly looked shocked for a split moment (a very rare sight to see), before he ducked down, letting the staff sail over him.

Having missed it's initial target, the staff crashed into the electric panel on the wall, loud enough to grab Mei and Red Son's attention, from where they had been training on their side of the room.

"....Uh." Red Son said, watching how the electric panel sparked and hissed. "That's probably not good."

And then the training room doors slammed closed.

"Ah. That's very not good." The fire demon holstered the water gun he'd been using, walking over to inspect the damage.

"I'm sorry!" MK said, running over and pulling the staff out of the electric panel. Surprisingly enough, he didn't get shocked, instinctively twirling the staff in a circle before sliding it into his pocket. "I'm- I'm really sorry, can you fix it??"

"...If we were on the other side, yes." Red Son poked the panel, pulling his hand back just before a stray spark could hit it. "As of right now...I'd say we're pretty much trapped."

"What if somebody needs Dragonmist or Spitfire though?" Mei asked, "We won't be able to help if we're stuck in here."

"..I'm sure Sandy or my parents could do the job just fine..." Red Son mumbled, barely paying any attention to what Mei was saying, as he turned on the electronic band on his arm, a holographic screen appearing in front of his face. "I think I can get the doors to open again if I can reactivate the system....But with all the changes I had to recently make to prevent a certain few hackers from getting in the system again it might take me a while."

That seemed to be all the incentive that Mei needed, and MK watched in confusion as she took a few steps back.

Said confusion changed to comprehension just seconds before Mei took off, running at the door at full speed.

...And slamming into said door, falling backwards and landing hard on her back. The loud clang made MK cover his ears, and startled Red Son out of his focus.

"You- did you just try to break through the door?" Red Son knelt beside Mei, poking her to check if she was still alive (which she was). "The door that I specifically designed to be unbreakable?"

Mei only groaned in response, accepting MK's help in lifting herself back up into a standing position. As MK steadied her, he looked over her shoulder, noticing how...quiet Wukong had been the whole time.

The Monkey King was just standing there, exactly where MK had left him, in fact, it didn't seem like his mentor had moved at all.

MK lightly tugged on both Red Son and Mei's jackets to draw their attention over to Wukong

Just in time for Wukong to let out a scream of frustration, taking the fake circlet off of his head and throwing it at the wall- karma immediately playing it's hand as the circlet bounced off the wall, flinging back to hit Wukong on the nose, before reverting back to being a strand of hair.

"Fuck." Wukong hissed, staring at the hair that now rested on the floor as though it had personally offended him.

"....Monkey King? Are.....you okay?" MK quietly asked, Red Son and Mei also looking at Wukong in concern.

"I'm fucking fine- Leave me alone!" Wukong glared at them, before turning around and sitting on the floor, cross-legged, his tail swishing back and forth in irritation. MK, Red Son, and Mei shared a worried look.

"...I'll get back to trying to unlock the doors?" Red Son said, "Also Mei, please do not try slamming yourself into the door again. It's not going to work, and I really don't know why you thought that was a good idea in the first place."

"I didn't think it was a good idea, I just thought we might as well try it." Mei shrugged, "I did think it might go faster than just you trying to hack your own system though."

MK tuned out the bickering between his two friends as he focused in on Wukong's back. The Monkey King's fur was all....bristly, standing on end, as though he'd been startled. In between that, his little outburst a few moments ago, how his tail was rapidly swishing from side to side, and the fact he was chewing on his thumbnail, well, MK could only conclude one thing.

Wukong was scared.

As for why he was scared, MK had a few guesses. Most of which pertained to mountains and furnaces.

MK wondered if he should give Wukong some of the advice Macaque had given to him during their last therapy session- but almost instantly dismissed the idea. Wukong would definitely pick up on the fact that MK was quoting Macaque, and the Monkey King simply refused to take any advice the shadow monkey handed out.

MK couldn't just walk over to Wukong and try to distract him either. For one, he had no idea how to even start that kind of conversation, not to mention that Wukong didn't look like he wanted to talk to anyone right now. He couldn't tell Wukong that he knew that the Monkey King was scared either, from what he'd manage to garner about Wukong's personality, that would surely just send Wukong down a path of denial and overcomplicate the whole situation.

Which only left one option. Waiting.

Many people didn't know this, because of how quiet and reserved MK tended to be, but he absolutely hated waiting.

"Hey, Red Son?" MK asked, interrupting Mei and Red Son's petty bickering. "...How long exactly will it take you to hack the doors back open?"

"Uh...." Red Son glances at the holographic numbers hovering over his arm. "...I think the shortest amount of time I could do it would by 15 minutes, at most about 2 hours."

Out of the corner of his eye, MK could see Wukong's back tense, and something tells MK that even 15 minutes would be just a bit too long.

...This was all his fault. If he'd been paying more attention, hadn't gotten so frustrated, they wouldn't even be in this mess.

MK pulled the staff out of his pocket, looking at how it lay small and innocent in his hand. He looked back over at Wukong, who was still resolutely facing away from the rest of them.

He took a step towards the control panel.

"...MK." Mei noted his movement. "MK, what are you doing?"

MK doesn't give a response, the staff extending in his hands.

This was his fault. He's going to fix it.

"Wh- hey, MK, you'll get yourself electrocuted you-" Red Son takes notice of MK's actions a moment too late.

MK shoved the staff into the electrical panel, ignoring the way the electricity made his arms go numb and his nerves tingle. He'd been forced to get used to the sensation a long time ago. Focusing as much as he could, he grabbed hold of the warm power that lay within him, channeling it through the staff and into the control panel.

He didn't stop until he heard the whoosh of the doors opening, and was certain that they would stay open.

He pulled the staff out of the control panel, setting it down as he rolled his shoulders, shaking the tingles out of his arms. He registered Mei and Red Son staring at him in concern, but purposefully ignored it.

A breeze went past him, and suddenly Wukong was standing on the outside of the room, rocking back and forth on the heels of his feet, wearing an obviously fake smile.

"So uh, MK, the next time you fight me-" (Wukong' refused to actively call it training, instead saying that MK was simply fighting him for real. Since he was actually somewhat teaching MK now, nobody dared to call him out on it.) "Try seeing if you can catch me off guard on Flower Fruit Mountain, yeah? Yep, okay, uh- fuck, I forgot something with the monkeys, should make sure they didn't fucking destroy it, so uh, bye!"

Wukong vanished, leaving behind no trace that he had even been there. MK blinked, processing the Monkey King's parting words.

Did.....did Wukong just invite him to Flower Fruit Mountain for the first time?

#Monkie Kid #Uno Reverse Card Swap AU #my writing

[lady-divine-writes]

Good Omens one-shot - “When God Closes a Door, She Opens a Window, But It's Up to You to Find It” (Rated T)

Summary: Crowley goes through unconventional lengths to escape a bad blind date...

... and ends up finding an angel in an unexpected place. (2770 words)

Notes: This is a re-write of an older story, but I think I like this version better. Human au. Fluffy as heck. CW: If you get squicked out by being covered in food trash, proceed with caution.

Read on AO3.

"Bollocks... bollocks... bollocks... bollocks... " Crowley mutters as she paces back and forth, simmering behind her eyeballs with so much anxiety she's about to tear her hair out by the roots. The only plan she can come up with to solve her current dilemma grows hotly in her mind, but she's searching for something - ANYTHING! - to take its place. 

Maybe something along the lines of acting like an adult, womaning up, and admitting this isn’t going to work? Be upfront about it and say it to the man’s face, for Heaven's sake! 'Go on, Crowley!' she thinks. 'Go ahead! One foot in front of the other. Steady on! You can do this!'

But she’s become so tired of the grind – going to bars, faithfully tending her online dating profile, endless blind dates set up by well-meaning friends, the rejecting and the rejections. She can’t face one more. It physically hurts, knots her stomach muscles until the pain turns her world monochromatic.

Crowley had had high hopes for this one, too. Her date Steven is the new doctor of the boy she nannies. He and Crowley have plenty in common – a love of theater and fine dining, and an appreciation for fashion. Crowley thought dating a pediatrician would be fascinating. After summarizing the pertinent details of her own life, perhaps her date would talk about getting through medical school, toss in a few whimsical stories about the joys (quote/unquote) of working with children - baby’s first shots where the parents cried more than the infant, or the tale of a precocious little girl who demanded he put a Band-Aid on her teddy before he helped her (the way Crowley's young charge had with his first doctor when he was around three). They could swap war stories, bond in that way.

But Steven’s favorite part of his profession is pediatric surgery, and, unfortunately, he loves to talk shop. Every morsel of conversation has been inappropriate for dinner and graphic in nature - appendectomy this and tonsillectomy that, abscesses and pus and untreated sores - until Crowley’s face turned as green as her salad and she couldn’t look at her steak anymore.

Neither could their neighbors, who flagged down a passing waiter and requested a new table. They've been sat near the kitchen, which most diners would loathe, but they look heaps happier.

Crowley excused herself as delicately as she could and raced to the loo, needing to escape any more gruesome talk. 

That was over fifteen minutes ago. 

She’s trapped with no way out.

She pictures the layout of the restaurant in her head. There has to be a back way in and out of this place. All restaurants have an exit through the kitchen, right? But the toilet, the kitchen, and the front door are all in full view of their table. Steven is sure to spot her sneaking out no matter how stealthy she is.

Crowley turns on the cold water and splashes her face, scolding herself to think, think, think! She’s an intelligent woman. She can come up with a way out of this. Could she phone someone to come down to the restaurant and make an excuse for her? Not likely, not on short notice. Her friends Anathema and Newt wouldn't be able to find a sitter - ironic, seeing as Crowley is a nanny, and if the tables were turned, she'd be more than willing to lend a hand.

Could she phone her employers, ask Mrs. Dowling to claim an emergency at home? No. She doesn't want to get them tangled up in her personal woes, especially when they concern a man they think of so highly.

She could look up one of those services that make fake calls to your cell phone to get you out of sticky situations, but that would mean going back out there to make the ruse believable. And from the way her hands lock around the lip of the basin every time she thinks about taking a step outside the door, she knows that isn’t happening.

Crowley looks at herself in the mirror, looks into her eyes, and reminds herself to calm down. Slow her breathing. She’ll find a solution. 

And suddenly, there it is. 

In the reflection of the mirror, she sees what might be her only way out.

A window. 

The only window in there, propped open enough that she’d be able to fit through. 

It’s kind of high, sort of narrow, and definitely a last resort. But what other choice does she have?

Loads, in reality. It just doesn't feel like it.

But does she really have to resort to jumping out a window? She’s already been in there for (she checks her watch and her eyes open wide) twenty-five minutes! And her date hasn’t come to check on her once. Maybe the man got the hint and left (hopefully after paying what should be close to a hundred-pound check). 

Crowley tests her luck, opening the door a sliver, praying silently don’t be there, don’t be there, don’t be there...

But there is no God - not one on her side, anyway - because there sits Dr. Steven Malory, talking to the waiter, telling him about another fascinating surgical procedure. He makes an exaggerated cutting motion across his stomach with a butter knife. The poor waiter, weighed down by a tray of soup bowls, nods politely, but looks like he may vomit in the tureen.

She winces. That poor waiter. Who knows how many times he's been called upon to lend an ear since her absence, or how many more times he'll be forced to endure another gory tale before Dr. Malory realizes she's gone. She peeks over her shoulder at the window, then back to the table, where Steven has his phone out, Googling something to the waiter's dismay. She slowly closes the door and backs away.

Window it is.

Crowley shelves the nagging feeling that she's perpetuating the most pathetic trope in the dating world and starts constructing a platform. There’s not much available – a small stepstool underneath the sink; a short, square, plastic rubbish bin that looks less than steady; another taller rubbish bin, dented along one side, looking like someone else already used it to make a break for freedom; and the toilet and basin, both miles away and completely unmovable.

Crowley does some quick engineering in her head and figures that if she turns the small bin over onto the stepstool, she might gain the height she needs to grab the lip of the window and hoist herself up, which would eliminate using the dented bin. She doesn’t like the odds that she won’t slip, fall, and crack her head open. She’s not so much worried about doing any permanent damage, but of having to explain to her date why she’s lying on the floor, covered in trash, and bleeding profusely.

With her luck, he'll giddily insist on stitching up any gashes, drawing a crowd of bystanders around to watch.

Crowley pushes the stool up against the wall with her foot. She dumps the trash from the small bin into its larger counterpart and sets it on the stool, centering it as best she can to keep it from sliding. With a hand on the wall for support, she puts a foot on the bin and attempts to pull herself up. It wobbles back and forth, then gives one backward lurch that nearly sends Crowley flying. 

She determines quickly that this isn’t going to work the way she had planned and makes a desperate leap for the window, using all her upper body strength to get her halfway through.

Crowley shudders when the cold air hits her skin, shocked by the drop in temperature, but mostly from fear of death. She looks down. 

A huge mistake on her part.

A horribly placed streetlamp keeps her from seeing into the alley, but she’s pretty sure she remembers a dumpster underneath this window. She had parked her Bentley in the lot across the way and saw it on the walk in. She looks out into the rows of cars and spots her vehicle. She sighs with relief. 

Now she’s a little more sure, but still not 100%.

Worst case scenario, she lands in food muck, probably not rotten since it’s still actively dinner, and ruins an expensive designer outfit.

Of course, that’s not actually the worst-case scenario, is it? Worst case scenario, she misses the dumpster altogether, hits the pavement, and breaks her leg, but she’s determined to remain optimistic. At this moment, when her anxiety-ridden brain has her convinced that the only logical route out is through this flippin' window, that’s a chance she’s willing to take.

She swings her right leg over, grateful that she chose slacks over a skirt tonight, till she’s straddling the narrow sill, bent in half by the metal lip of the window frame. She balances there, the dull edge digging into her sternum, her belly, and her crotch, but she can’t make herself jump. 

She’ll need to trick herself into it. 

She forces herself to relax, teeter-tottering back and forth, not dwelling on the possible outcome, just trying to work her way to the right far enough that she knocks herself off-kilter.

Fate lends a hand in the form of a drunken passerby yelling, “Oi! Oi, lookie there! There’s a big bird... human... thing hanging out that window!” 

Crowley panics, afraid she's about to be mistaken for someone breaking into a busy restaurant and not out. She fumbles, flails, starts falling head first, scrambles to get a hold. She hears a distant, “No! No, wait!” as her fingers slip. There are three seconds of cold wind and a sinking feeling in her stomach before she lands on her bum, thankfully in the dumpster, surrounded by the smell of not-too-rank food, the squish of something under her body that she thinks might be mashed cauliflower... 

... and a scream.

“Ouch!”

“Oh my God! I’m sorry!” 

Crowley yelps when her body lifts, something extraordinarily strong underneath pushing her up. She reaches around the slippery mess and wet plastic bags, struggling to pull herself off whoever is in the rubbish under her while trying to ignore the gravy seeping into her slacks, or the rice pilaf embedding itself beneath her freshly glossed fingernails. She knows she's broken two at minimum. 

How much worse could this evening get?

“I’m sorry!” Crowley scrambles to her knees, crawls away a few feet. “I’m so, so sorry!” 

“It’s alright, my dear.” A voice underneath her chuckles, its owner emerging from a layer of poached fish and au gratin potatoes.

Crowley turns in time to catch a glimpse as they move into the light. A woman wearing a vintage-inspired emerald gown covered in Hollandaise sauce and ranch dressing smiles sheepishly at her. The white light overhead gives a halo effect to her silvery-blonde hair, and her blue eyes almost glow.

She's quite breathtaking. 

“I thought I had reserved a private dumpster,” she jokes. “I’ll need to have a word with the maître de."

Crowley stares at her, stunned. “I… I don’t understand. What are you doing in here?”

“I suspect I might be here for the same reason as you,” she says, wiping mayonnaise off her hand before offering it to Crowley. “I’m Aziraphale.”

“Crowley. I’m sorry I landed on you.” She takes Aziraphale’s hand, forgetting to wipe hers off before and smushing creamed spinach between them. Crowley groans in embarrassment, but Aziraphale laughs.

“No worries.” Aziraphale doesn't let go immediately the way Crowley thought she would, her smile becoming brighter the longer she holds on. “It’s the most exciting thing that’s happened all evening.”

“So... I take it you’re running away from a bad date, too, huh?” Crowley asks, regretting when Aziraphale finally lets go.

“I'm afraid so.” Aziraphale glances down with a long sigh. “A friend set me up, but I swear, the only men she knows are unemployed, torpid, and skeevy.”

“Wow. That’s some A-plus word usage right there.”

“Yes, well, the written word is my passion."

“Does that mean you're the one who wrecked the silver rubbish bin?"

“Did I?” Aziraphale looks up at the window and grimaces. “I should probably offer to replace that then, shouldn't I? What about you?” Aziraphale turns her soft blue eyes back Crowley's way. “How bad was your date going?”

“I can now perform an appendectomy with my eyes shut.”

“Yikes. I take it that’s not a turn-on for you?”

“Not in the slightest. I appreciate medicine as much as the next gal, but I’d rather not know the gritty details." Crowley stares at Aziraphale until Aziraphale notices, then the two look away, blushing like giggly teenagers flirting in a coffee shop instead of two adults stuck in the trash. Crowley can't help herself. Regardless of the stench of curdled butter and cheese that will probably be with her for life, Aziraphale is a calming presence. And she looks like an angel. An honest-to-God angel! 

And Crowley found her in the trash. 

What are the odds?

“You know, we might want to get out of here before anyone else drops in,” Aziraphale suggests, rising to her feet and lending Crowley a hand.

“Yeah,” Crowley agrees. "Guess that's my night over. Though... " She looks down at her blouse and trousers, positively caked with sweet potatoes, chicken grease, tomato sauce, and chutney "... I’m not looking forward to driving home like this.”

"How far do you have to go?"

"I'm in Mayfair."

"Oh!" Aziraphale gasps. "Isn't that a lovely part of town?"

"I enjoy it," Crowley replies, never having felt quite so proud to live in Mayfair as she does in this moment. "And you?"

"I have a shop in SoHo."

"Lucky. You're just a hop, skip, and a jump, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am... " Aziraphale chews the inside of her cheek as her words hang, balanced in the air between stopping a thought or continuing it. “I hope you don’t think I’m being too forward, but if you come back to my shop, I have a shower. We could clean up there... " Aziraphale sputters when Crowley's eyebrow arcs sharply upward. "S-separately, of course! A-and order in some pie. I know a great spot nearby. I dare say they have the best pie in the world! And they deliver.”

“I don’t have a change of clothes,” Crowley says, wary of taking Aziraphale up on her invitation. Garbage notwithstanding, meeting her has definitely been an improvement to the way things were going. 

"I might have something that would work for you." Aziraphale sizes Crowley up, but not in a creepy way. In a surprisingly nurturing way. "It would be nice to salvage the evening, don't you think?"

"It would." But one disastrous date is plenty for the night. Should Crowley jump straight to another with a woman she met in a dumpster? Then again, it would be wrong for her to assume that spending time with Aziraphale would be disastrous. Plus the story of how they met is way too fantastic to waste on self-doubt.

Crowley took a chance on jumping out a window with only hope to guide her. She’d be stupid not to take a chance on this.

“Sure,” Crowley says, confident with her decision. “Your car or mine?” The words slip out before she considers the fact that she's talking about her baby. A vintage car that she, due to an extreme case of sheer luck, has been the sole owner of. She won't even wear muddy shoes in her car. Or rayon! On top of her own ruined outfit, which will need to be dry cleaned twice and then set on fire, if she lets Aziraphale in her car, she'll have two sloppy, food-stained seats that she’ll need to have scoured. 

Maybe Aziraphale will laugh her off and offer to take her own car. Why would she want to leave it behind, anyway?

“Oh, I didn't drive,” Aziraphale says, looking down sadly at her own destroyed dress. “I took the bus.”

Crowley's heart clenches. There's that decision made. There's no way she's going to suggest Aziraphale take the bus while Crowley drives her car. She just prays that, with time, her baby will forgive her.

“My car it is then.” Crowley loops her arm covered in soup through Aziraphale’s arm covered in whipped cream and leads the way. Aziraphale smiles, holds Crowley's arm a wee bit tighter, and Crowley becomes certain this new development will be worth the money she'll spend detailing her car in the morning.

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #ineffable wives #ineffable idiots #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley

[hopeaterart]

Evil Ozpin AU: Dinner with a bird

Context: Ozpin and Salem more or less swap place, it's a bit complicated. This fic is here to explain how it happened by way of Ozpin monologuing to a (still on Salem's side at the time) Qrow. There's some hints of Ozqrow in there. Like, you're definitely supposed get Vibes. For those unaware: here's my Evil/Swap!Ozpin.

"So... You're Salem's latest pawn." Qrow scowled, eyes narrowing at the monster sitting from across him. How he'd ended up sitting at the same table as Ozpin, also widely known as 'the Wizard', was a blur in his memory, and granted, not that great a story.

Went on a mission for Salem to find his base of operation, with the only info being that it was somewhere in the forests of Sanus. Had to go alone because Tai and Raven had their hands full with Yang and a pregnant Summer. Got caught by Ozpin's latest apprentice- a blond woman about his age with the ironic name of 'Goodwitch'. Letting himself be captured in order to get taken to Ozpin.

One trip to an old monastery latter, he was now separated from Harbringer, had Aura-suppressing manacles on his wrists (thankfully with no chains), and was sitting in front of the Wizard himself. They were on some kind of balcony with only a small table between themselves, and there was a plate on the table with bread on it that neither were touching.

"And you're the guy who's trying to burn down Remnant." He bit back. Ozpin sighed, silver eyelashes fluttering as he narrowed his eyes.

"Is that what my traitorous ex-wife told you?" Ozpin asks, smiling like a predator about to eat it's prey when Qrow's eyes widened in confusion. "I mean- she's not wrong, but Salem isn't exactly the hero of our tale."

"Wh- your ex-wife!?" Qrow exclaimed, before gritting his teeth. "You're lying." He accused Ozpin, who didn't even flinch at the accusation.

"So she didn't tell you." He observed. "Oh, what am I talking about? Of course she'd keep that hidden, that self-righteous hag." Ozpin hissed as he took one of the small bread. "Doesn't want to acknowledge me being a thing is her fault, after all." He opened his mouth, momentarily exposing too-sharp canines as he bit the bread in half. He stared in Qrow's eyes as he chewed, before swallowing. "It's garlic bread. An entrée before the main dish, if you will. I'm not going to poison you, erm... Qrow Branwen, is it?"

Qrow grit his teeth. "And I should believe you, because?"

"Sheer pragmatism on my part, really. We're eating the same food, and I am not interested in poisoning myself." Ozpin explained, shrugging as he finished eating the bread he had in hand. "'Poison damage' is not really the kind of pain I like."

Qrow raised an eyebrow at that. He'd heard stories of Ozpin letting anything and everything hurt him with ecstasy written all over his face, but hearing what seemed like confirmation was a bit... much. "Uh... so what's the deal? Why are you having me eat here with you instead of- oh, I dunno, locking me in some kind of torture dungeon?"

"Wouldn't you like to know, pretty bird?" Qrow averts his eyes at that, his gaze landing on the plate of bread as his cheeks warm up. He hesitantly took one of the bread, shoving it in his mouth and chewing quickly.

He took another one, eating slower and actually savoring it this time as Ozpin turns to look at the scenery. The forest stretches beyond the horizon, any traces of Grimm hidden from sight. Qrow's not fooled, he knows the monastery probably hides a few nasty surprises. The marble-skinned weirdo in front of him is proof enough.

Credit where credit is due, whoever cooked this is a damn good cook. "Who made this?" He asks as he takes another bread. "Didn't expect you to have a five-star chief."

It was Ozpin's turn to be caught off-guard. "I'm... glad you like my cooking." What. Qrow stared at his third half-eaten bread. "Oh, don't be a baby. I have literal centuries of experience behind me, and my cycle of immortality is different from Salem's. Since I need sustenance, might as well be good at it."

"Still not entirely convinced you're not poisoning me." Qrow noted.

Ozpin groaned in exasperation. "If I wanted to kill you, there's a myriad of ways that would be easier and less-headache inducing than this." Ozpin snapped as he got up and started walking away. Qrow turned to look at him as he went behind his chair, before going rigid as cold fingers dug into his shoulders. "Stay there. I'm getting the side and main courses."

Ozpin left the balcony in a puff of smoke, and Qrow let out a breath he didn't knew he was holding. He reached inside his jacket, relieved to see his Scroll was still there. Only for his mood to immediately crash when he realized that this part of Vale didn't get reception.

"Trying to call for help, are you?" Qrow whirled around, scowling when he saw Goodwitch. "I'm telling you now, it's not gonna work. Ozpin has taken precautions."

"What, precautions against modern tech!?" Qrow snapped, getting up as his chair rattled. He didn't care if Goodwitch had one of the most powerful Semblances he'd ever seen while he couldn't even activate his Aura right now. He brought misfortune wherever he went, made sense his shit Semblance would turn against him one day. "Does the guy think we still live in the Dark Ages?"

Goodwitch bristled. "Why, you insufferable- Ozpin is trying to offer you a chance to redeem yourself from working with Salem, and you're squandering it for-"

"Glynda." Both stilled as Ozpin came into view. There was a disappointed frown on his face. "That's no way to treat guests."

"But sir-"

"No buts, young lady." Ozpin reprimanded, waving his fingers as floating plates, glasses and a bottle of something came into view. "Help me with putting on the table, will you?" He asked Glynda, who nodded and took the two plates with food on them to put on the table. "Sit back down, Qrow."

"Don't call me that." The huntsman hissed even as he sat back down. He glared at his plate, which had fish and some kind of salad and... something else in it. He raised his head slightly as the bottle landed on the table, Ozpin dismissing Glynda with a 'thank you' before sitting back down. He pointed at the weird stuff. "What is that?"

"Oysters." Ozpin told him. "I opened them earlier, they're all good. Do you know how to eat them?" Qrow shook his head. "Alright, so first you need to loosen them up..." Qrow followed Ozpin's instructions, pulling a face after eating his first one. Ozpin frowned. "Don't like it?"

"Texture's weird." Ozpin hummed, before taking the bottle and popping the cork off and pouring Qrow a glass.

"It's champagne. Laurent-Poirier. Goes well with oysters, use it to wash them down." Qrow nodded, taking the flute and taking a small sip. "Not a fan of alcohol?"

"Opposite, actually." He started, remembering how his father got after too many bears. "Runs in the family." Ozpin thankfully didn't push the subject, simply turning toward his own plate and taking a bite of his salad.

The two ate in silence for a while. Ozpin opened his mouth again as Qrow tried his second oyster. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Does it matter if I say no?"

"No, but you don't have to answer it." Qrow nodded. "How did you end up working for Salem? I thought the Branwen were a bandit tribe from Mistral?"

Qrow hissed in between his teeth. "I... me and Raven, we... Our parents, they- urgh. Look, all that matters is: we're not going back, and we're never going back."

"Raven..." Ozpin seemed deep in thoughts, as if he was trying to remember something. "That's your sister, right?"

"Yeah." Something occurred to Qrow. "Say, the whole reincarnating wizard thing. You used to be, like, a regular, not-Grimm person, right?"

"That's one way of putting it, but yes." Ozpin answered. "I used to be mortal."

"Did you have siblings? Before the whole..." Qrow made a vague gesture in the other's general direction. Ozpin stilled at that, a faraway look on his face.

"No, none by blood. I grew up in the mountains with only my parents before obtaining my powers." He answered. "I... did have someone I considered my sister, but I was already well into becoming what I am now when I met her." The look on Ozpin's face was absolutely miserable. "Salem killing her pushed me over the edge."

"... Ah." Qrow took a sip of his champagne. "That sucks. Sorry for your loss."

Ozpin waved a hand. "I- it's fine. You're not the one who blasted her with magic for the crime of trying to help me stay me." He quickly ate an oyster, seemingly cheering up. "Anyway, my turn to ask you a question!"

Qrow snorted despite himself. "What is this, 21 questions?"

"My crush is no one, if you're wondering." Ozpin joked, before straightening in his chair. "What did Salem tell you about me?"

Qrow shrugged as he cut some of his fish. "You want to burn down Remnant. You can do magic. Whoever you reincarnate in dies the moment you come into the picture. You started the whole thing with Salem. And she doesn't know how to stop your cycle."

Ozpin hummed. "I see. Your turn."

"How... much of what I told you do you agree with?" Between the ex-wife comment and the very real grief he had when talking about his sister, it was clear had a different version of the events. Besides, the monster Salem had described to him wouldn't simply sit him down to talk.

Ozpin hummed, a piece of fish on his fork as he waved it in the air. "I do want to do some burning, but it's more 'everything Salem ever worked for' than Remnant. Come on, Qrow, I live here. And I'm stuck here." He ate his fish. "If I really wanted to destroy Remnant, I'd simply use the Relics."

He hummed. "Yeah, that's fair- wait. You know where the Relics are!?" The amount of people that were on wild goose chases to find them... And this whole time, Salem's sworn enemy could get to them the moment he decided to stop playing around.

"Of course I know where they are. I'm the one who hid them in the first place." Ozpin noted. "Can't have Salem blowing up my body with the Sword again... urgh, retrieving it and the Lamp was such a pain!" Qrow numbly nodded. "Anyway, you wanted to know about my magic?"

"Uh-" Ozpin snapped his fingers, whisps of green and gold rising from them as pitch black eyes burst into green flames. Like a Maiden's. "Oh shit!"

Ozpin smiled as the magic faded, Qrow numbly realizing there were brown irises somewhere in those pools of tar. "I can. And unlike Salem, I'm willing to share."

"You- you're the guy who created the Maidens!?" The fairytale explaining their origin spoke of an old, cruel magician, who took four sisters under his wing and taught them how to use magic.

"Ah, yes." Ozpin spoke with fondness. "The first Maidens. They reminded me of the first daughters I had, and they were so very loyal to me... loyalty deserves to be rewarded, don't you think?"

Qrow frowned. "Is that why they keep turning against Salem when she finds them first? Something to do with your magic?"

"What- no!" Ozpin exclaimed, clearly offended. He then frowned in confusion. "I think. If it is a thing, then it wasn't intentional." A pause as Ozpin downs his flute, before pouring himself more champagne. "Anyway, my reincarnations..."

Qrow raised an eyebrow as Ozpin downed more champagne. "Sensitive point?"

"More angry about Salem being right on this one. Or..." He chuckled. "Was right. I proved her wrong, in this life. Ozma isn't in control anymore."

"There's literally nothing in what you just said that's reassuring." Qrow noted, Ozpin smiling at him as he finished his salad. "Who's Ozma?"

"The name of the first soul in the cycle." Ozpin told him. "He used to absorb whoever he reincarnated in into himself the moment he was in their bodies, but his soul weakened over time, and it took more and more time and efforts to absorb them. By the time he reached me, it him almost twenty years for our souls to fuse, and then..."

"... you're the one who absorbed him." Qrow finished. He frowned. If Ozma's soul was driven by anger at being betrayed by the woman he loved, then... "Holy shit, what did Salem do for you to hate her that much!?"

"What would you do," Ozpin started. "If you wanted to live, but someone wanted you dead? Because you know of something you couldn't care less about that could destroy her life? What would you think if someone thought of you as nothing less than the latest stain on her self-inflated ego? Proof that she's just human, if not worse than that?"

Qrow frowned at that. Was that how Ozpin saw the conflict? But nevertheless, he knew the answer to that question. It wasn't one he was happy with, but... "I'd kill her before she killed me."

"Good answer. And the answer to who started our conflict: as far as I'm concerned, it's all. Her. Fault." The two finished their plates in silence after that, Ozpin first and spending the next few minutes watching Qrow.

They stared at each other for a while. "Uh. All that fancy stuff, and no dessert?" Qrow joked. The tiniest bit of relief struck him as the corners of Ozpin's eyes crinkled.

"Now, you're speaking my language!" The pale-skinned man clapped his hand, and Qrow nearly jumped out of his skin when a Grimm came out of the shadows.

It was unlike any Qrow had seen before. A glossy sphere with bone shards on it's lower half, floating with an array of thin tentacles trailing under it. There was an ominous light coming from into the sphere, even if it wasn't really visible in this light.

It was also green instead of red, which meant Ozpin had created the fucking thing. Black smoke rose up from under the plates at a wave of the Wizard's hands, handing them to the Grimm. "Bring these to the kitchen, and bring back the dessert. It's on the pastry cart." The Grimm simply took the pile of plates and floated back in the darkness of the inside.

Qrow inhaled sharply. "What the fuck was that-"

"Seer Grimm. I've put enchantments all over the place so we don't end up getting detected by the CCT, but I need a way to communicate with my followers when they're away." Ozpin explained with a shrug of his shoulders as he poured himself yet another glass of champagne. Qrow stared at him. "Oh, don't look at me like that. I'm pretty sure most of my bodily fluids have been replaced by Grimm sludge, it takes an insane amount of alcohol for me to get drunk."

"Yikes." That word alone could describe at least half of what Qrow had learned about Ozpin today.

"Want a refill?" Qrow looked at what Ozpin was pointing at. His own flute, now empty. He nodded, letting the wizard pour him a second glass. Ozpin got up from the table after that, his glass in hand as he leaned on the balcony, back to the Huntsman. "Anyway, there's still one part of your question I haven't answered yet."

Qrow frowned, before remembering. "Is there a way to stop your cycle of reincarnation?"

If he had seen the manic smile on Ozpin's face, Qrow would've been scared for life. "Nope~. There was, but Salem would've had to die, and she was unwilling to. And now, the only way to get rid of me has been made useless."

"What do you mean by that...?"

Before Qrow could get his answer, the Seer Grimm was back, pushing a tray with a plate that had a mountain of what looked like chocolate truffles on it. Ozpin turned around, snapping his fingers as he did so. The Seer rotated, floating toward Ozpin as the wizard reached a hand out, caressing the smooth surface. He looked at the Grimm warmly, before turning those same eyes on Qrow, making something in his chest flutter. "Slit my throat open."

One of the Grimm's tentacle morphed into a blade, and faster than Qrow could see, Ozpin's throat was opened with a gush of tar-like blood. Ozpin gurgled, more of the black sludge coming out of his mouth as he took a few steps back, before falling backwards over the edge of the balcony. Qrow's better nature took the better of him as he rushed out of his chair, rushing to try and catch the wizard. "OZPIN!"

... Only for the man to raise into the air, eyes ablaze as a gentle breeze carried him. Ozpin laughed awkwardly as the other man stared at him in shock. "Were you scared for me?" Qrow took a step back as what he realized was a nothing less than a living god touched down on the balustrade. "Don't worry, there's no need to! I know it's always a bit scary when I take risks like that, but I assure you: there's no need to, since I-"

"Can't die." Qrow finished, realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. "You can't die."

Ozpin frowned sympathetically at him as he sat down on the balustrade, looking up at Qrow. "She didn't tell you, did she?"

His answer came in the way Qrow crumpled to the ground, breathing harshly as if he was trying to refrain himself from crying. "No one wanted me-" He started in between gasps, Ozpin frowning as he came to kneel down next to him. "I gave my life to her because she gave me a place where- where I belonged-" He continued, letting the other man manhandle him into a hug. "I thought I was finally- finally-"

"Doing some good?" Ozpin finished for him. That opened the floodgates, Qrow burying his face in Ozpin's chest as he sobbed. Ozpin gently carded a hand through his hair, resting is lips on the top of his head. "You poor thing..." He muttered. "I'm afraid meeting Salem was the worst luck of your life."

Qrow continued crying, not noticing Ozpin manhandling him further until he was sitting in Ozpin's former chair. The wizard had his back turned to him, taking the plate with the truffles. "What are you...?"

Ozpin turned toward him, a kind smile on his face. "After everything you learned today, you must be exhausted. I just want to make you feel a bit better, is all." He came to sit on the table, plate next to him. He picked the truffle at the top, bringing it to Qrow's mouth. "Open."

Qrow nodded, opening his mouth and letting Ozpin handfeed him sweets, the wizard occasionally cradling his face or petting his hair. Ozpin smiled, picking up Qrow's discarded glass of champagne and sipping on it as the other leaned in his hand.

I win this time, dear~

#writing #my writing #ozpin #rwby ozpin #professor ozpin #qrow branwen #rwby qrow #evil ozpin #evil ozpin au #alcohol #tw blood #food #glynda goodwitch #rwby glynda #rwby au #rwby

[numberonephantompizza1]

Poppy Fanfic: “Ask Her”

For context: This is a fanfic I wrote in order to join the Poppy Milk dev team and show off my writing skills. Since the callout at the time said we’d need to write a lot of sidequests, I wanted to ask the question of what a Poppy-centered side-quest would be like. I got the idea that it would be from an Asker’s perspective, and everything sort of came naturally after that. Even though I’m on the dev team right now, it’s not canon to Omega Timeline: Poppy’s Story and even has some inaccuracies that contradict canon. With that said, please feel free to read the story below the cut.

---

You noticed something very different inside your room when you woke up. The lights were off and the sun hadn’t yet risen, but there was a certain… aura, coming from your door. You were filled with a certain trepidation, but… you approached it. It was hard to see in the light, but it looked… grey. 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you stepped through...

...and found about the last person you would’ve expected. The spitting image of Frisk - CORE!Frisk, that was, looking up at you, in the middle of a white void.

“Wh- You’re real?!” you asked, dumbfounded.

“Of course I’m real. Have you been taking all this multiverse stuff for granted? Everything is real somewhere,” Core answered, simply. 

“I… I don’t… and you, me…” you panted, starting to feel a small panic attack coming on.

“Focus,” Core snapped their fingers, grounding you back in reality. Okay, this was happening now.

“Let’s get down to business. Simply: you don’t like me. And I don’t like you. But we BOTH like Poppy. Poppy, my dear, sweet angel… has unfortunately recently come to the realization that Askers ALSO exist in the multiverse. And now she wants to do a ‘meet n’ greet’ with one of her fans. Trust me, I TRIED to talk her out of it, but she can be darn persuasive when she wants to be. And as you’re now realizing, that’s where you come in. 

“I wanna make you a deal. You play along with whatever Poppy wants until she gets bored of this. If you’re on your best behavior - and that means, don’t give her anything bad, don’t tell her anything you KNOW she shouldn’t know, don’t use any magic, and be a general good influence - if you play nice, in exchange, I will allow you to hang out with ANY resident of the Omega Timeline. 

“Want to spend a day full of wacky hijinks with a Papyrus, or even an Underswap Sans? Consider it done. Want to know how Deltarune Chapter 2 plays out ahead of time? I know a Susie with your name on it. Whatever you want, so long as you play by the rules, and don’t ask for anyone obviously ridiculous. So… do we have ourselves a deal?”

You contemplated that offer, and everything that was happening, trying to suppress your inner urge to geek out for just a few moments. The Omega Timeline, Poppy, and all the AU’s you could think of and more were real. And you just got an invitation to visit them.

“Yeah, of course!” you nodded excitedly, though your enthusiasm only seemed to make Core more anxious.

“Don’t make me regret this…” Core sighed, as the whiteness seemed to melt away into a cozy-looking house with wooden floors and lime walls, where you were standing directly outside of a white door. Core seemed to have disappeared.

Technically, there was nothing stopping you from exploring. So you did just that. You walked up to a shelf with some family photos. One was a photo of Poppy, Core, Dusted and Rust all together, in some meadow, looking happy. At least, you assumed Dusted and Rust were happy, they didn’t show up well on camera. There was another photo of Poppy alone, looking somewhat younger than she did on the blog, seated on a chair in a photo that looked far more staged. She held an actual poppy flower in her hand and smiled brightly.

You opened the cabinet doors, curious of what knick-knacks you might find in there. Some crayons, a few random glass cups, some art by 3-year-old Poppy that was so poorly done its meaning was hard to decipher, and a locked box. You reached for the box--

“Getting a bit sidetracked, aren’t we?”

You jolted up, and faced Core behind you. Even though they were child-sized, they crossed their arms with the poise and authority of a stern parent. You laughed anxiously. “Ahahaha… ahaha… ha……..”

“...Strike one.” Core said, and vanished. The meaning of that was all-too clear. Deciding not to dilly dally any longer, you went to the room you suspected to be Poppy’s, and knocked. 

“Just a sec!” Poppy said, and opened the door. She looked up at you, and gasped. “Wow, Granpa really did come through…!” She twirled excitedly. “You must be my adoring fan, aren’t you?” she asked.

You stared down at the girl in stunned silence.

“To be honest, I kinda figured you’d be some gray guy with sunglasses, but that’s kinda silly in hindsight. How you doin’?” She asked that last line in a mock accent as you continued to stare.

“Baby,” you said.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you quickly tried to change the subject. “Yeah, it’s… y’know, it’s great to be here…” You clasped your hands together, biting your lip. You were in an Undertale AU, faced with the AU granddaughter of another AU character. You still weren’t entirely over that. Was this fever dream? Fandom heaven, or fandom hell?

“I know! Once I heard you guys weren’t from the Omega Timeline, I realized I hadn’t met even ONE of my fans… even if you guys are super annoying some of the time.” 

“Uhhh, yeah…” you wondered if you should apologize on behalf of the askers who put Poppy in the hospital that one time. Then again, it seemed kind of awkward, and it might have been best not to bring that up while Core was watching, which was always. Looking down at the cutesy girl, it was almost tempting to pull her into a hug, but you managed to keep your composure. 

“I wanted to do something a little more special than just some sorta interview, though, because you ask me questions all the time anyways,” Poppy said. “Granpa said you’ve never been to the Omega Timeline before, so I wanna give you the big tour!” Poppy went to the door. “I’m gonna be outside when you’re ready!” She left the room.

Seeing the empty room in front of you, you were tempted to snoop again, but you’d learned your lesson after last time. You headed straight out after Poppy.

You couldn’t help but gasp in awe of the serenity of the great outdoors as you were beckoned to it. You’d been outside before, obviously, but everything just looked so… nice. The blue sky, the grassy grounds, the ornate buildings… you’ve seen this place in pixel art and a couple drawings before, but seeing it with your own eyes was another story. And the next thing for you to nearly faint at was seeing the Undertale characters running around, Sanses, Undynes, Frisks, even goat moms. 

Poppy smiled. “...It’s nice, isn’t it? I KNEW taking you on a tour was a good idea.” She smirked. “Now remember, just because this is a meet-up doesn’t mean it’s free, and there WILL be a fee at the end of our ride.”

“...Uh… I left my wallet at home,” you said, patting your pockets, “And I don’t have any, uh... ‘G,’ I think. Unless the G stands for ‘Gratitude,’ amiright?” you did finger guns.

“G stands for Gold,” Poppy corrected you bluntly, unamused. She returned to her chipper attitude just as quickly, though. “Now, let me show you around!” She led you down the street. 

Walking with her, seeing so many versions of your favorite characters in the flesh, walking around… well, the temptation to talk to SOME of them was irresistible, Core be damned. You did resolve not to go too far off-track, but you shared some words with the folks you passed by, Poppy thankfully stopping each time you did. You met two Frisks - one boy, one ambiguous - an Underswap Undyne, a human version of Toriel, and surprisingly, a version of Princess Peach.

You and Poppy approached an elegant fountain, stood upon proudly by a statue of a mustachio’d CORE!Frisk. “This is the Timeline Plaza! It’s sort of the local park, where people meet up to do... stuff. Just hang out. Make a picnic. Play ball. All that good park-y stuff, y’know? And there’s stores in all directions, so it’s pretty good.” She proudly showed off her home to you, with a smile.

You talked to more on the way to the next place. An Inverted Fate Papyrus. A weird Ralsei who said his name was “Noyno.” An Asgore wearing a hoodie, who you assumed was swapped with Sans. (Poppy did scold you a little bit for this, telling you that just because someone has a hoodie you shouldn’t assume they’re swapped. You apologized.)

“This is Grillby’s! One of them, anyways. The nearest one to my house. It’s pretty good if you want an OK burger. Sanses love the place, though. It’s… kind of unhealthy. And a little gross.” Poppy said. “Especially when they just drink… raw… ketchup.”

“Can’t handle a little ketchup?” you smiled mischievously. “We drink it by the gallon back in my universe,” you lied.

“...I really hope you’re joking,” Poppy said, alarmed.

“Am I?” you smiled brighter.

“...W-well, we’re not going in there, so you can FORGET about drinking that much ketchup!” Poppy said, afraid of the sheer power of your ketchup-drinking.

You and Poppy moved onto the next spot. You met an Underswap Alphys who seemed to be trapped in a red-and-gold palette. You met a robot dressed as a circus ringmaster, who claimed to be a Chara. You met a Dummy dressed in a Frisk shirt. (You didn’t assume it was swapped with Frisk this time, which turned out to be a mistake, because it was.) Poppy stared at you awkwardly now, wondering why you were talking to all these random strangers. Finally, you and Poppy reached your next destination.

“The theater! Where we show off all the greatest hits! Including MY movie, which, not to brag, but it’s--”

Except, you’d been distracted by a hyperdeath Asriel, and were ignoring Poppy for the moment.

“...” Poppy spoke up. “That’s what I don’t get about you.”

“Huh?” that seemed to wake you up, and you looked at her. 

“Everytime it’s always, ‘have you met Underswap Sans,’ or ‘have you met JangoTale Frisk,’ or some other weird thing. You always ask that. But… they’re just people. Why do you always assume I know some random Sans or Frisk or someone?”

“I…” you were a bit taken aback. “...I don’t… we don’t assume you know them, they’re just… they’re just important.” 

“Important?” She asked. “...I-I mean, yeah, EVERYONE’s important, but, I don’t really get what you mean…”

“They’re all--” You paused, trying to collect your thoughts, think of everything you knew from the blog, and tried to actually talk to her. “...They’re like friends to me. Kinda.”

“...You guys are friends with them? I thought you were stuck in your world…” she frowned.

“No, it’s like-- I’m not ‘friends’ with Underswap Frisk, or-- or Storyshift Frisk, or Shifty or whatever, I’m just friends with… Frisk.”

...Poppy stared at you like you just said the ground was turning to jelly, or something equally bafflingly inane. “...I… think you’re confused. Look, sometimes newcomers struggle with this. Your Frisk isn’t the only Frisk--”

“I know! It’s… You don’t get it. This world, these worlds are so special and creative, and they mean a lot to me. I know we can be really edgy, and I know we ask weird questions about Dusted and Rust, but that’s all because… because...” you paused.

Poppy looked, seeming upset about hearing her siblings mentioned in the context of ‘edgy’ questions, not seeing what you were seeing. Core, standing behind her, holding up a hand signal.

The number two.

You were getting carried away. You overstepped.

“...Um… I’m sorry.” You pulled her into a hug as Core vanished. “There’s really no reason for us to ask those questions. We can just be dumb sometimes.”

“...” She hugged back. “Yeah, it’s okay. I knew you guys were super weird and dumb before I convinced Granpa to let you in here, so I guess I should’ve seen this coming,” Poppy smiled, regaining her confidence as you did your best to not be offended at being called weird and dumb.

“Okay! I think I have just one last stop in mind to cap this tour off on a high note! Literally, hehehe…” She giggled mischievously. This time, you didn’t stop to talk to others, following her directly as you approached a peak overlooking the town. For yet another time, and probably the last, you couldn’t help but ogle at the town’s beauty. “Pretty good, right?” She sat down.

“Ha… with all the climbing, I was worried we’d fall down a mountain,” you joked. Poppy seemed to roll her eyes, as you sat beside her. “...I guess I get how you can call this place home. I mean, once I stop nerding out, anyways. You don’t see stuff like this in my… reality.”

“Just gallons and gallons of ketchup, huh?” she commented. You couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Yeah.”

And you two just stared into the distance for a while. ...She wasn’t just a character. She was a human being.

...Or, technically just a ‘being,’ scratch the human part. Still, you felt a bit desensitized to all this. And so did she. You related in that way.

“I can’t say you exactly passed with flying colors, but you fulfilled your end of the agreement well enough.”

Without any warning, you were back in a white void with CORE!Frisk, just like before. You almost forgot about the deal you made, what with all the time you spent with Poppy. You stood.

“Uh… yeah. So, my reward…” you drifted off, remembering the offer Core gave you. The chance to meet just about any AU character of your imagining… or at least, any that would be peaceful enough to be in the Omega Timeline. Which still left a WIDE variety of options…

Who did you want to see? What mattered most to you?

...

Thinking deeply… you told Core their name.

“...Oh. Really? Well, I guess it makes sense for you that you’d want to see them,” Core remarked. “I can’t guarantee they’ll give you what you’re looking for, but a deal’s a deal. Let’s head off.”

You and Core went somewhere else.

---

And that’s all she wrote! If you read this far, thank you. Working on the game since then has been fun, and I think you’ll like what we have in store. Until then, ciao.

#undertale #omega timeline #poppy's story

[an-aura-about-you]

Miscellaneous Crossover and AU Fanfiction Masterpost

This is a collection of posts that are AUs or crossovers that only last for one or two entries most of the time. Most of them are prompts, most of them are Princess Tutu.

dryad(Princess Tutu - Cinderella AU)

Fakir and Ahiru in the Magic Guild of Vane (Princess Tutu/Lunar 2)

50 Shades of Red (Princess Tutu - 50 Shades of Grey AU)

"For the last time, that is nothow the internet works!" (Princess Tutu- Cyberpunk AU)

A Sweet Invitation (Princess Tutu - Candyland AU)

"Hey, we're closing." (Princess Tutu - Modern AU)

"Wh-what did you find?" (Princess Tutu - Modern AU)

“You’ll survive because you’re tough" (Princess Tutu - Titanic AU)

Proposal and Penpals (Princess Tutu - second prompt is a Penpals AU)

“Another early night?” (Princess Tutu - Prohibition Era AU)

visiting Autor's parents (Princess Tutu - Modern AU)

Thunder rumbles in the low-hanging sky. (Beyond the Boundary - Regency Era AU)

Sasha peruses the application again, his brain itching as Mr. and Mrs. Wesson keep their eyes on him. (Psychonauts/Mother 3)

“Good night, Mutti!” (Princess Tutu – Robot Technology AU)

A different Ladybug and a different Chat (Miraculous Ladybug/Red Panda Adventures)

Valerie and Plagg talk (Miraculous Ladybug/Red Panda Adventures)

Break me (Beyond the Boundary – 10 Cloverfield Lane AU)

Listeners: We have a birthday to announce. (Welcome to Night Vale/Princess Tutu)

The little droid lurches forward on her treads at the sound of her name, merry chirps carried up on a cloud of guitar music. (Steven Universe/Star Wars)

Odile’s thirty-two fouettes (Beyond the Boundary – Ballet AU)

useless weapon makes for a useless daughter (Princess Tutu – Soul Eater AU)

Erina tips her hat back and lets the night sky seep into her, clearer than she’s ever seen the stars before on the crowded, dirty streets. (Princess Tutu – Titanic AU based on this art)

ghost tour/horror movies (Princess Tutu – Modern Aus)

Autor groans and leans on his keyboard, a thump and a discordant mash of notes. (Princess Tutu – Youtube Reviewer AU)

“Good morning!” (Princess Tutu – Coffee Shop AU)

“So, what are you doing for your birthday tonight, Duck?” (Princess Tutu – Coffee Shop AU)

Lohengrin’s birthday (Princess Tutu – Modern AU)

Presentorama (Futurama – Everyone’s From 1999/2000 AU)

“I’ll get your coffee in a minute, Fakir. You just missed the dinner rush.” (Princess Tutu – Superheros and Supervillains AU)

“Are you some kinda future robot replacement bee to tell us humans to get our shit together and stop killing the real bees?!” (Night in the Woods/Earthbound)

“An anteater?!” (Princess Tutu – Division Swap AU)

“What was that about?” (Princess Tutu – Division Swap AU)

Impatience scratches needles down Autor’s skin (Princess Tutu – Division Swap AU)

Duck jumps out of her skin, flattening against the wall. (Princess Tutu – Division Swap AU)

Road trip! (Princess Tutu – Modern AU)

Kiss out of lust. (Princess Tutu – Roleswap AU)

AU(Princess Tutu – Burger Shop AU)

??? (Princess Tutu – Burger Shop AU)

a nice brunch date (Princess Tutu – Modern AU)

“eventually… you just move on.” (Princess Tutu – AU in which Autor and Rue somehow dated in the past)

Out of envy or jealousy (Princess Tutu – D4 AU)

Lucas heaves a sigh heavier than his years, meandering about the confined parts of the wilderness. (Psychonauts/Mother 3) [draft]

Use a song most people would never expect you liking as a basis for a fic. (Princess Tutu – Elite Beat Agents AU)

The Dream VCR (Princess Tutu – Magical Technology AU)

Rudimentary Magician (Princess Tutu – AU in which Fakir is a magician)

The Courier (Princess Tutu – Modern AU)

The Meteor (Princess Tutu – Apocalypse AU)

Autor drinks his tea, nearly to the dregs of his third cup and the last supplied by the provided teapot. (Princess Tutu – Coffee Shop AU)

#aura's fanfiction

[adragonhoardingstories]

Daminette AU (Part 2)

The next night, both teens found themselves at Master Fu's and Marinette did one of the things she did best - she strategized. 

Adrien was going to be given one week during which he would subtly drop hints to his entourage that would not seem fishy at all in the moment but that in retrospect would seem like he was planning on leaving.

An important decision he had to make was who he wanted to tell about this. 

The last steps of the plan was that he had to withdraw all the money that was legally his - which was a considerable amount - from the bank and to insert it in another account under another name as a way to convince the adults that he did know what he was doing, had prepared for him and had to means to take care of himself. 

He also had to write a letter explicitly stating that he was leaving of his own volition due to the stifling atmosphere of his house while also hinting at the mental abuse his father made him go through.

After the one week would be up, Adrien would be sent to the temple of the Guardians where he would be healed and trained.

He might not have been suitable for the creation or destruction kwamis but the other miraculous had no such restriction. 

Only the creation and destruction kwamis had a specific soul that could wield them. The others, while they needed a specific type of soul didn't have as many restrictions.

She had a feeling that once Hawkmoth was defeated, someone would be needed to heal the butterfly Kwami and who was better than another person who had suffered under Gabriel's influence?

In the end, Adrien had suprisingly chosen not to tell anyone about the fact that he was leaving, be it from their class or from outside school. She was the only one of her friends to know.

He had said that he couldn't trust anyone in the class due to their attitude towards Lila, they had turned so quickly on her - someone they had known their entire life. Who was to say that they wouldn't sabotage his plan?

Also, most importantly he couldn't have their plan reach Lila's ears. 

As for his other friends like Kagami or Luka or even Chloe, he didn't know the two former enough to predict their reaction and the latter would ask too many questions. 

They knew though that they would all be immensely protective of him or might suggest an alternate solution but he could not risk anyone getting in the way of their plan.

One week came and went. Adrien managed to transfer his money to another account with a lot of ease and without alerting neither Gabriel nor Nathalie. They said their goodbyes and Adrien went to the newly resurfaced monastery. 

They had also swapped miraculous since even if Adrien stopped using Plagg, the damage was already gone. 

The solution they had found to that was for him to take Tikki with him. 

He was not to use the creation Miraculous but Tikki would slowly absorb the remenants of Plagg's power in him. 

This arrangement suited everyone since the monks also needed someone to catch them up on what had been happening all these years. 

She sighed thinking about the time after Adrien left. A lot had happened in those years and not all of them good. 

It had started with the monks finding out that she was the only one eligible to hold both creation and destruction miraculous. They refused to hand over such power to a teenager who they thought unfit. 

In their time, it was rare that someone got the honour to wield even one of the miraculous but both of them was unheard of. 

She had told her parents that she wanted to extend her martial arts training to be able to defend herself from akumas. She used this time to go to Master Fu who gave her Kaalki to take her to the monastery where she trained. 

It had some time to convince them that she was worthy but after a year they had been won over. She was by far the best student they ever had had, even without the miraculous. She could best anyone they threw at her - results of her parentage. 

The mother had been a trained martial artist and her father a champion wrestler in their youth. And her Nona hadn't failed to teach her different fighting styles Everytime she came by. 

She felt a pang of pain go through her as she thought of her mother. 

While she was away on one of her training sessions in the mountains, there had been people connected to her who had come to visit. 

After her training with the monks, she could easily identify who had killed her parents. The monks had made sure that she knew of all the people who had ever tried to take the miraculous for themselves. She had needed to become familiar with all of their ways. 

So it hadn't been hard to identify the supposedly bakery fire as a murder and who had murdered them. 

It was the League of Assassins, more precisely, Talia Al Ghul.

How did she come to that conclusion?

Well even though she had never met Talia face to face, she was very familiar with the woman herself. 

The things was that Marinette had one of the rarest soulbonds with her romantic partner. At random, they would switch bodies and it would last for thirty minutes. 

While the bond made them swap bodies at random times, she had noticed that for them a lot of the times it had been when one of them had been at their wits' end or exhausted.

She had still been a child when they first swapped. Her soulmate had been in a fight and he had been so injured that he couldn't take it anymore and she had been sent to take over. 

The first thing she could feel was pain. The second thing she registered was the tight grip she had on a katana. And the third thing she saw was the people surrounding her each with their own weapon. 

She didn't know what was happening but this wasn't the first time she had been taken by surprise. If there was one thing she was good at, it was improvisation. 

This was maybe her first time in a sword fight but it wasn't her first time in a fight. Being an orphan Gothamite taught you survival at its finest and in this moment, she had no doubt that she couldn't hesitate. 

She had always tried to cause as little harm as possible in her past fights but it seemed that she wouldn't have that choice now. 

She eyed the approaching people and shifted her position so that she could get a feel of this new body. She was on her knees and she had a considerable amount of injuries which would not work in her favour. She had to be smart about this. 

She saw one of the men surrounding her move and she immediately jumped up, grabbing a handful of dirt to throw in their eyes and repositioned her blade to get a better grip. 

Marinette didn't give them time to react and slashed and striked blindly, letting her instincts take over for her to avoid being hit. 

It wasn't long before she was the only person standing...at least that's what she thought until a woman stepped forward.

"I've never seen you fight this way Damian. That's good. You need to remember that in a fight all is fair."

She jolted back, going to defensive again to look at the woman. She was exhausted and yet she didn't hesitate as she leaped towards the woman and shoved her sword in her stomach. 

It seemed like she hadn't expected that because it was far too easier than it should have been and Marinette could recognise a dangerous woman when she saw one. 

"Damian...wh-?" 

She stepped back pulling the sword with her. The woman fell to her knees and their eyes met, hers widening as she took in his face. 

"I'm not Damian." Marinette said. 

And then the world went black. 

#daminette #marinette dupain cheng #damian al ghul wayne #bamf marinette #soulmarks

[tinkonka]

That’s such a smart name but Rayla and I have already used the “wh parental swap au” tag a lot and I’m too lazy to change it now BDBDB

if I write a fanfic I’ll call it that tho, heh

AND NOW 2 RAMBLE

It’s on Ashley this time. Look idk if imma keep her backstory like Ashe’s but oh my god. Tell me I’m a genius bc imagine having Ashe’s mom (Lucy my beloved) and Patricia herself as ur parents. Lesbian QUEENS I love them

Patricia likes 2 sing to Ashley...;; also some of her more popular music was written for Ashley and/or Lucy.

Lucy is the one who taught Ashley how to cook & bake- Patricia taught her both singing & piano.

And also mmmm. If I kept the arson thing... oh my Jesus...

i see u give ashley happy in this au. This is good pleas dont fukc it up

#/J

[euphoria-svt]

Here for You

“you’re my emergency contact and I’ve been in an accident so you drop everything to come to the hospital” 

taken from this post break-up au list!

————————————————————

Word count: 2k -ish

“Come here, lovebug” You cooed as you picked up your niece and settled her on your lap. You offered her a rattle, which she gladly accepted and giggled excitingly when it made a sound.

“She’s getting so big” You told your older sister; staring at the baby on your lap in awe “I just want her to stay this tiny forever, sis”

“You and me, both” Anne laughs “I’m really glad you came by, babe. It’s been a while since you came to visit us”

“I know and I’m sorry” You frowned as you held your niece closer to you “Uni is just being a pain in my ass right now, you know? Who ever said it was a good idea to continue doing my masters when I struggled enough for my degree?”

“It’s what you get for having the brains” She grinned in reply “Have you spoken to mom and dad recently?”

“No,” You groaned “I’ve been meaning to call them but everything is just swamping over me right now. I’m the worst daughter in the world”

“Can’t deny that” Anne chuckles and when she noticed the glare you gave her, she raised her hands defensively “I’m just saying; it wouldn’t hurt you to call home once a week, sis. They really miss you”

“You’re right” You said defeatedly “I’ll call them tomorrow and probably get a flight out to Toronto to spend some time with them during my reading week. It’s been a while since I’ve been home anyways”

You hear your phone ring from where you left it on the dining table.

“I should get that” You said as you handed your niece over to your sister before getting up on your feet. You strolled over to the table and picked up your phone; contemplating to answer it now when an unknown caller flashes across the screen.

Anne notices the hesitation in your action and asks, “Who is it?”

You hold up a finger to her as you accepted the call and brought your phone to your ear “Hello?”

“Hi! Am I speaking to y/n y/ln?”

“Yeah,” You answered curiously “Who is this?”

“My name is Lyn and I’m calling from the Kindred Hospital Los Angeles” She replied on the other end and you felt your stomach drop when you heard the word hospital. Any call from hospitals wasn’t a good sign and even though you didn’t even know why she was calling, you didn’t have a good feeling about it “If it is possible, I need you to come down as soon as you can, ma’am”

“What is going on?” You asked nervously “Why do I need to go there? Who got hurt?”

“Ma’am, your boyfriend was in an accident not too long ago” She responded, which completely threw you off-guard “In our system; the victim, Connor Brashier, has listed you as his emergency contact”

“Wh-What?” You stuttered out as your heart starts beating faster and you swore it was going to pound out of your chest. Anne sees the way you’re thrown off and she grew worried just by looking at you “Do you know what happened? Is he okay?”

“I don’t have much details to give over the phone but when you get here, the doctors will let you know his condition”

“Right, okay. Thank you, Lyn” You nodded before bidding goodbye to her and hanging up.

“Who was that?” Anne asked worriedly “Is everything okay?”

“That was the hospital…” You let out a shaky breath “Connor was in an accident”

“Connor?” Anne asked softly, with a frown appearing on her face “Your ex-boyfriend, Connor? Why are they calling you instead of a family member?”

“He listed me as an emergency contact from when we were dating” You explained. You were still shocked with the news you just heard and even though you haven’t spoken to Connor in over a year, you were worried for the state he was in “I have to go see him” You announced as you picked up your handbag.

“Sis,” Anne called out to you but you didn’t reply. Your head wasn’t in the right place and all you could think of was getting to that hospital to be by Connor’s side.

Anne sighed as she stood up and with her daughter in her arms, she walked over to the crib placed at the corner of the living room and set her baby down.

You were in the midst of wearing your coat when Anne puts a hand over you to stop your actions further “Honey, call his brother” She insisted “You don’t have to go down there. You two aren’t together anymore, remember? He’s not your responsibility anymore”

“Anne, you know I can’t do that” You frowned “I just- I can’t, okay? I need to know that he’s okay”

“It’s going to hurt you to see him again, sis” Anne was trying to pursue you into staying “Please, just listen to me for once. Call Dylan, let his family know and let Dylan update you on his condition instead, please?”

“I know he’s not your favourite person in the world after everything that happened but you can’t stop me, Anne” You argued back “He was in an accident and they called me. The only right thing to do is to be there for him”

“Why?” Anne asked “Why are you so willing to face him again?”

“Because if the roles were reversed, I know he would’ve done the same”

xxx

“Hey”

You looked up to see Dylan and his parents standing by the door of the waiting room. Dylan and his dad were both looking pale while his mother’s eyes were bloodshot red and puffy.

You wiped a tear away from your eyes and stood up to greet them “Hi,” You said softly and locked gaze with Connor’s mom “Mrs. Brashier I-,”

She shakes her head and steps forward as she wraps her arms around you “Thank you for being here” She muttered against your shoulder. Her voice was soft and fragile, like you’d expect it to be for a mother who just found out her son was in an accident.

“There’s no reason for you to be here but you’re still here” She continued “So, thank you honey”

You pulled away from her moments later and gave her a soft smile “Please don’t thank me” You insisted “He’s my friend and I want to make sure that he’s alright”

“Doctor Wells is waiting to explain everything to you whenever you are ready” You then said “They wouldn’t go into details with me because I’m not his family member”

“We’ll go speak to him now” Connor’s dad nodded then offered you a small smile “Thank you again, y/n”

Once the parents left, you gave your attention to Dylan. You knew he was trying to stay strong in front of his parents but deep down, he was going to break.

“Come here” You said to him as you opened your arms.

Dylan falls into your arms and you rubbed his back softly as you felt cold tears against your neck “Dyl, he’s going to be okay” You assured “Connor is a tough guy, remember?”

“I don’t want to lose him, y/n” Dylan sniffled softly “I can’t lose my brother”

“And you’re not going to” You said more firmly, although it was hard for anyone to find it believable with your voice starting to crack “It’s just a little bump, Dylan. He’s going to wake up and he is going to be just fine. I promise you”

xxx

That was 5 days ago.

After the surgery, the doctors informed that Connor was in a coma due to the many injuries on his body; a broken arm, several broken ribs and his forehead needed several stitches from all the shattered glass pieces.

You know how traumatized his family were. They refused to leave his hospital room. They refused to leave his side. And through those 5 days, you refused to leave their side too. They needed all the moral support they could get and you made sure to give them just that.

You weren’t any better either. Seeing how broken up Connor was; lying on his hospital bed unconsciously, it made your heart broke. All the anger you’ve built up towards him for the longest time were all forgotten in a blink of an eye.

You were afraid. Afraid of the chances that he might never wake up, despite the doctors still being positive about his condition. You were afraid that the last memory you would have of him was him screaming at you I never want to see you again.

You pushed the door open slowly at about 15 minutes past 6pm. You would’ve gotten there sooner but you only managed to sleep at 9am after a whole night of tossing and turning in bed, thinking about one thing and one thing only; Connor.

Dylan laid on the couch and that was the first time you saw him with his eyes closed in the past few days. Connor’s mom was sitting on the chair next to his bed while she grasps his hand tightly.

You set the bag of food down and walked over to her, tapping her shoulder “Mrs. Brashier?”

She’s startled for a second and when she realizes it was you, she smiled softly “Hi honey”

“Do you want to eat?” You ask “I made some soup for everyone”

“Oh dear, thank you so much but you didn’t have to trouble yourself” She protested “Soup actually sounds nice right now”

“I’ll go heat it up for you in the kitchen” You insisted but she shakes her head “No, no. I should probably do some walking after being cramped in this room for days”

You offered the paper bag to her and she muttered a soft ‘thank you’, before she asked “Will you let me know if the doctors come in?”

You nodded without hesitation “I’ll call you instantly”

Once Connor’s mom left the room, you took her spot beside his bed. Your breath hitched in your throat as you looked closely at the scars on face and his bandaged arm. The more you look at his scars, the angrier you felt at the asshole who did this to him.

You looked down at his arm and you hesitated for a second before reaching out for it and taking his hand into yours. You were reminded of the sparks you felt when you first held hands on your first date.

“Hi Con, I don’t know if you can hear me right now” You spoke up and you could feel the tears forming in your eyes “But I need you to gather all the strength that you have and wake up. Your family, they are so worried for you, Con” You said before adding in a softer tone “I am so worried about you. I don’t care if you still hate me or whatever but I just want you to wake up… I need to know that you’re okay, Connor. Please”

“If you let me, I’ll take good care of you” You continued, your voice was starting to become strained “I’ll be here for you until you’re properly healed”

You let out a shaky breath as you rest your forehead against your intertwined hands. This was the first time you were finally letting it all out ever since you found out about Connor’s accident.

Then you felt it.

The sudden stroke against your thumb, which made you shoot up quickly.

“Connor?” You sniffled as you wiped your tears away and leaned forward “Connor?”

His head started to move stiffly as you let out another breath. You reached for the bell to alert the nurses then called out to Dylan.

“Get your mom from the pantry!” You told Dylan, who just woke up from his slumber “Connor’s stirring right now!”

As Connor opens his eyes, your heart begins racing. He was definitely going to be so confused to see you here.

Connor takes one look at you and you see the confusion written all over his face “y/n?” He asked “What the hell happened?” He let out a painful groan when he tried to move his arm.

“Don’t move your arm” You instructed as you helped him put a pillow underneath it so he was more comfortable “And it’s a long story, Connor… But the important thing is that you’re okay now”

————————————————————

Reblog, like or leave a comment; always appreciated! ❤️

x rina

TAG LIST:

@hurts-like-hell-xx @connordavidscamera @r3ader @fivefeetapartt @green-lxght @queenmendes @turtoix @zigzagsandzebras @btsbyconnor @heart-struck @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @shawns-swallow @imaginashawnns @zaahidahhh @vinylmendes @adelaidestreets @daisyangei @curiouslycryptic @sinceweremutual @fallinallincurls

*lmk if you want to be removed/tagged!

#connor brashier #connor brashier imagines #connor brashier fic

[diardiarmylove]

The Other Mark

So I did some small research and apparently 1994 is when Zero occurred and Cu Chulainn played on Stay Night, which is I believe is 2004? So for plot’s sake let’s make it that Dia got summoned in 2004, since I’m grouchy with years not aligning with character ages. Did some math and the sibling’s age is figured out, Amane 22 and Caster is 27 [He still celebrates even if he no longer ages, what a baby.]. 

also yea, I love making my oc’s suffer to form a strong character. sorry, I just enforce them.

Attempted Angst(?),. I watched a teeny tiny bit of Fate Zero, just where he got stabbed by his own spear. (rip man) Planned on making it three-way, y’know since Cu, but I just really wanna adore Dia bby. Also Caster is not here because in this AU she summons it around fifth/sixth singularity. Also uh, open ending cause I’m not done in America Singularity.

AU :  Soulmate AU. Both Parties Swaps Scars And The Pain With It, It Will Fade from their Body By 18 And The Destined Partners Would Swap Scars, depending on the damage, the other end of the stick would feel it, may also vary. The wound would fade if their soulmate die, and depending on their age, they’d receive the pain, then the scar, sometimes both at once.

— • —

Fate is truly cruel, no?

Soul marks sometimes show their partner’s experiences, through words, or by wounds. Other soulmates have first words, timers, red strings, matching bracelet, yet she had such a awful soul mark. She feels guilty that all the scars she gained training and honing every weapon she own in her arsenal; the little mistakes that could’ve ended her life had she been less careful.

She eventually forgot, as the Grand Order became a priority. She would remember sometimes, when she watched the doctor stitch and stare for reactions. She knew her scar wouldn’t fade. Her soulmate is dead, after all. They died one night in 2004, when she was ten, alone and was nothing more than a guinea pig for her parent’s sick curiosity.

Their next Singularity was America, precisely, 1780′s. Was when her burn faded and stab wound found exactly between the valley of her breast.

Of all the things Amane had to be reminded that her soulmate exist, was through a large burn like star between her chest, it looked like someone shot her heart with a burning arrow, the only difference was a large vertical scar the centers that burn. 

It was the exact wound she felt as a child. 

Relief washed over her soul at the sight. She sobbed when she saw it, they stayed there for thirty minutes to an hour. Mash beside her, who did her best comfort her Master.

“Senpai? What’s wrong?”, She said in an alert tone.

“My soulmate, Mash.”, She smiled as she cried in relief, “My soulmate’s alive. They’re a-alive..!”, she sobbed, before finally crashing to the Shielder’s arms. Mash placed her shield down, and cradled her master as she slowly sank to ground, sobbing in joy.

She remembers when it happened. Smiling through a painful memory as she clenched her chest.

Amane was seven when she learned her gift, her parents joined an operation that investigates mages nature two years ago. They would summon Heroic Spirits to create Demi-Servants. With the failure of such, they moved on to their next project. 

Studying the nature of Advanced Mages, the kind of mage Amane and her brother is. His brother had indestructible barriers and his sister gained an ability to will daggers and knives. They made a mistake showing their parents.

They were then chosen, along with a few candidates. But after a report their parents passed to the higher ups, they were priority subjects.

When then denied, their parents gaslights them to obeying, to apologizing, to participating. Gruesome Experiments were ensued from there, and they were only eight and thirteen years old. 

Eventually, a serious experiments failed drastically, and it brought her brother with it, he was fifteen.

They shrugged his death off, and just threw him away. And they hard scoped on the next best thing. Her.

During that duration, Amane’s wounds would disappear. The scientists believed this was because her soulmate being a newly adult and is suddenly taking the blows of what her body is suffering. For some reason, that was the last time she felt relief.

The doctors told her that there was a high chance it was her soulmate. Not like she’ll meet them, they said. The ultimate challenge for her would be to kill them, and feel the pain of her soulmate’s life fading away. The last piece that will complete her creation.

Fate got ahead of them, of course, she would.

Her hope died when she felt like she was stab through the chest. A phantom pain, of what felt like she’d been stabbed by a spear. She was ten. No one helped her. That was the end of her two months worth of relief and she knew she was truly alone. Her soulmate had died.

She stayed in that horrid laboratory for three years more. During that time, she was forced to expand her current mana pool, basically overexerting her use on magic. She fainted and woke up after a week.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was the experiments they performed. She knew they wanted her to be a weapon.

She was the only candidate to make a human version of a heroic spirit, especially with her skill set.

She was put into a room where she had to stay in place and make a barrier for as long as the gunner shoot magic infused bullets, she wasn’t allowed to will a sword to kill the gunner, nor is she allowed to deflect. She failed that test, and resulted a 3rd degree burn on the outer side of her arm. 

She was injected with vials of unknown substances. 

That was their mistake.

On her final day in that laboratory, she didn’t saw her parents, they became nothing more than silhouettes wearing coats, and Amane finally killed them before ran with all her life, hoping to get to the other end of the country, where she can be safe. She didn’t care if someone doesn’t take her in, all she cared was to get away.

After she knew she was safe, she focused on honing her abilities. Which miraculously help her end up in Chaldea, tested to be a Master Candidate.

Which led her here, in America, after clearing four singularities, with a present from fate that her significant other was suddenly alive. That would be impossible right? They died in 2004. Are they a Heroic Spirit? Most probably.

She had to shake her thought off. She’s on a mission that will change the world. She stray now and she will no more than a traitor to Humanity.

She then met up with Florence Nightingale, who is a Berserker Class Heroic Spirit, and the veteran nurse, after she fainted. Florence attempted to cut her scar open, until Mash explained it significance and their job in this singularity.

And it finally led them here.

In the field.

Where Florence aids the wounded as they face off against Celtic Soldiers led by two Lancer Class Heroic Spirit. Fionn Mac Cumhaill and Diarmuid Ua Duibhne.

A long fight ended with their victory, until Fionn decided to join. Before they can begin however, Fionn stopped. He stopped and stared as his ally’s injuries fade, as if nothing happened.

“Diarmuid, your wounds.”, Fionn muttered, and Diarmuid looks at his body. The only injury that remained was the scars on his arms and hands, along with the large burn on the outer side of his left arm.

They weren’t able to analyze further, as they heard a choked gasp, and all attention went to the Master. 

Gold eyes met wide gradient eyes, as her white clothes suddenly became bloody from the inside. The only thing he saw was her muttering a word before she collapsed.

“Senpai!”, Mash drops her shield, to catch the girl’s front, while Florence held her up from behind.

The two Lancers watched and held their men in place, as Florence slowly laid the Master’s body to the ground, and Mash giving Amane what bit of mana she can offer. Florence finally pulls out a knife and tears the uniform off. The damage done shocked Mash and the Berserker. 

“Lancer, your wounds.”, Florence starts, “It went to her body, the damage of a heroic spirit must’ve shocked her body.”

“What?”, the doctor said in a worried tone. “You’re right! Her vitals are haywire, she must’ve went into shock when the fresh injuries appeared in her body from Diarmuid’s! She’s still conscious! Hang in there, Amane!”

Diarmuid froze before focusing on the Master’s unconscious body. He wanted to know, what curse made him unknowingly hurt someone.

“Diarmuid.”, Fionn commands.

“My liege.”, Diarmuid looked hurt, he was guilty. “I must know. Whatever curse has been placed on me.. that made that Master take the blunt of my injuries..”, all he could blame was the scars and burns that appeared in his body the moment he was summoned.

Mash stared at the Lancer’s state. The injuries she and Florence inflicted were truly gone, except very particularly placed scars. Some were from when the doctor would stitch her after a Singularity. Some were when she found the scars on one of her arms after being almost burned by Fafnir, but only catching a portion of her sleeve. And a very particularly large burn, she saw too many times on her Master’s arm that faded when they arrived at the Singularity. 

Mash had a mission, and that included her Master’s well being.

“Were you perhaps.. Stabbed in the chest once?”, She watched as the guilt-filled Spirit froze even further.

“I-I was... For the duration of when I summoned, I kept receiving injuries. That was two months.”, Diarmuid gulped.

“Amane’s vitals are stabilizing! Wh-- Amane, what are you doing!? Rest!”, they heard Roman’s stern tone, and Mash turned back to her Master, and watched as she stood up, her teared and bloody top slipping off her arms, leaving her in nothing more than a gray sports bra.

They still as she struggled to get up, eventually summoning a halberd, and slammed it on the ground before leaning on it.

In that very position, was a very familiar vertical stab aligned perfectly between the valley of her breast, surrounded by a burn that looked like a brown star on her chest. 

They watched as her body began healing itself, what remained were the stab wounds, as they became a scar. She finally raised her head and shakily sigh, before she giggled. 

“Do you have any idea how alone I was after you left the world precisely twelve years ago, soulmate?”

#diarmuid ua duibhne #lancer diarmuid #fate grand order #fate grand order oc #fate scenarios #Works From 12 AM Onwards #mash kyrielight #berserker florence #florence nightingale #fionn mac cumhail

[burnt-toast-life]

SPRITES SPRITES SPRITES SP

#HEHHE #wilardo adler #basil elford #witch’s heart #wh parental swap au

[lunar-wandering]

me? making my own Monkie Kid roleswap/personality swap AU??? haha, no way.....unless-

anyways I do not have a name for this AU yet but I do have content lets go-

---

- Red Son runs a coffee shop, and befriends literally every person that enters the building. (his parents support this endeavor and supply him with money.) *gives him a light green jacket instead of a red one. hksdfjsfkjs he got them christmas tree vibes-*

- MK started working part time in Red’s coffee shop about 2 months ago, and has been shyly starting to warm up to being Red Son and Mei’s friend. *light lavender jacket + yellow headband*

- Mei doesn’t have a motorbike, because she’s trying to separate herself from her parent’s money. She just has a normal bike instead. *SOFT PINK JACKET TO LIGHTLY CONTRAST WITH THE GREEN IN HER HAIR HELL YEAH-*

- Mei and Red Son have known each other for a while, and they’re both doing a kinda.. vigilante thing together, defeating rogue demons... while also protecting the Monkey King’s staff from being taken, as it currently seals the White Bone Spirit.

- Mei tends to do most of the heroing stuff, while Red Son does more of the tech stuff. Red built Mei’s hero suit and gadgets, he very rarely actually goes out and fights himself.

- Sandy is the one who actually owns the building Red’s coffee shop (and secret underground hero lab) is in, and supports them in their efforts. He treats their injuries if needed.

- MK has no idea about any of this.

- MK lives with Tang and Pigsy, who are both history professors at the local university. Pigsy sometimes drops by the coffee shop to tell a story or two, Tang is typically too busy working to come along.

- one day, Mei and Red Son get a notification that “Monkey King’s staff has been pulled” and they’re both like “uh, thats probably not good” and then they show up at the location, to find the WBS is already gone and-

- MK is there. holding the staff.

- Mei: what do you have?!

  MK: ......Monkey King’s Staff.....

  Mei: NO!

  Red Son: oh my gods, why does he have Monkey King’s staff-

- “it uh..... it felt like the staff was calling me” “that is NOT a good reason to pick up an IMMENSELY POWERFUL ITEM”

- MK: so like....where you ever going to tell me you two are heroes?

  Mei: we’ve literally tried to on multiple occasions. you kept leaving before we could tell you.

 MK, remembering all the times they looked like they wanted to have a serious conversation so he got nervous and made up an excuse and left: ha ha... i don’t know what you’re talking about

- when they bring up this problem to Sandy, he just sighs and goes “i figured this would happen eventually....guess we gotta go see my brother”

- they dont even manage to make it to the mountain because Wukong bursts into the room like “which one of you fuckers lifted the staff. you? alright, you’re my successor now you bitch.”

- Wukong’s reason for wanting a successor? “hey, it means i can just sit back and relax for once and not do anything instead of fighting all those fucking demons. wait, what do you mean i have to train him-”

- Wukong is forced by literally everyone else into training MK. he’s not happy about it but begrudgingly accepts the responsibility.

- Wukong: aren’t you tired of being nice? dont you just wanna go apeshit?

   MK: not really no

- Wukong tries not to get attached but oh fuck he mentally considers MK as his son now-

- Red Son: its nice to see that yet another person cares about MK

  Wukong: *(offended sputtering)* wh- i do n- I don’t care about anybody. In fact, I care about nobody.

  Red Son, to MK: so when were you going to tell me you changed your name to Nobody-

- Pigsy and Tang refer MK to a therapist. It’s Macaque. Macaque is a therapist. yes this decision is 100% purely because i think it’s funny.

- MK: Macaque you will not believe what happened today

  Macaque, pulling out his note book and sipping on a black coffee: tell me all about it.

  MK: I’ve become the Monkey King’s successor-

 Macaque: you’ve wHAT

- Macaque, breaking down Wukong’s door: were you going to tell me you adopted a kid, or was I just supposed to find that out by myself

 Wukong: I did not adopt MK! geez, why does everyone keep saying that....

 Macaque: I never said which kid it was.

- Macaque goes HOG WILD with this information, and this is how MK finds out that. oh. his therapist Macaque is THE Macaque. interesting.

- Macaque stops by the coffee shop a few days after this discovery like;

  Macaque: hey, do you kids want to hear some embarrassing stories about Wukong?

 MK: i mean, that might be kinda rude-

 Mei and Red Son: yes, we absolutely want to hear them, please tell us all of them

- Pigsy and Macaque take turns telling stories about Wukong, and when Wukong inevitably walks in on them doing so he grabs the item closest to him (a salt shaker) and just chucks it at them. Pigsy takes that as his cue to leave while Wukong proceeds to chase Macaque around the coffee shop.

- Wukong: *(teases MK a little too much)*

  MK: *(looks like he’s about to cry)*

  Wukong: oh gods, oh fuck, shit, jeez, come on kid don’t cry, oh no, hold on-

- if MK actually does start crying Wukong starts crying too and its like;

  MK: WHY ARE YOU ALSO CRYING?

  Wukong: I don’t know- I mean, I’m not crying.

- forgot to say this earlier but MK gets brought into Mei and Red Son’s little heroing gig! Red Son designs a costume for him and everything. (Not that MK ever actually remembers to wear it....)

- MK never actually talks about what really happened the night he pulled the staff, accidentally freeing the White Bone Spirit. If asked, he laughs nervously and changes the subject.

- at some point, this happens.

  WBS: I brought the boy to his destiny.

  Red Son: you fucked up a perfectly good MK is what you did. look at him. he’s got anxiety.

#Monkie Kid #AU #ive got. NO IDEA what to call this au please help #long post #edit: we are now calling this the Uno Reverse Card Swap AU