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#well when you're stuck dealing with two gremlins for like the rest of your life it's hard to blame ya—
bbsgarbagebin · 1 year
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PROMPT: cockwarming
pairing: riddler x reader
summary: edward got himself into this situation, but far be it from him to admit it
a/n: this works best for imagining only the most annoying versions of eddie arkhamverse is at the forefront of my mind on this one ngl
cw: n/a
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"This is highly unprofessional,"
"Well, good thing I'm not your employee."
Your eyes were closed. He couldn't see it, because you were sat on his lap, resting your head on his shoulder and facing away as your limbs tangled around him (not like he could even go anywhere). But he knew.
He knew you, and Edward was never one to say there could be too much knowledge - but when it came to you, he frequently found himself making exceptions. You were the only subject he would bereave (though to the outside ear it would sound like complain) knowing too much about. It unnerved him, as much as stimulated. He craved it - you - as much as he did his other compulsions. You were an itch that needed scratching, always something new to piece together and pull out of you. An endlessly complex puzzle.
(Perhaps, if he was more socially inclined, he'd realize most other humans could in fact be viewed like that, but alas.)
The issue, of course, came when one obsession bled over into another. A downright yucky mingling of what should be two separate worlds.
"I'm talking about me-"
"As usual."
"For someone so mouthy, perhaps a different orifice would be suited for the current task at hand."
"Perhaps," you mocked, mimicking his voice, "but I'm comfy now, so deal."
"You're insatiable. This is valuable work I'm doing, important work, irreplicable and irreplaceable." His inward breath stuttered as your muscles massaged his cock. After getting his words stuck in his throat, he growled in annoyance. "And yet you insist on trying to steal away my attention for yourself-"
"Eddie," you interrupted his hypocritical (on multiple levels, it was quite impressive) speech, "you asked me to sit on your dick."
"...Yes, well, that was under the assumption you could behave yourself-"
"I'm literally just sitting here-!"
"Sitting there deliberately distracting me from my work."
You rolled your eyes, hips shifting ever so slightly, "Fine, then I'll just lea-"
In an instant, one of his arms wrapped around your waist, keeping you still. "No need to throw a temper tantrum," he scoffed. And you knew him well enough that even without glimpsing at his face, he was flushed red. "If you truly cannot control your desire for me, then I am capable enough to multitask."
Your boy was so needy.
You know he craved the contact, the warmth, the little ways your fingers would play with his hair or your lips would trail kisses along his neck as you sat there. He was so busy with his work, always so busy, and it was never a problem before (at least, not a problem he consciously recognized). But, now that he had gained a source of love and affection, some regular human contact, this touch-starved gremlin found it difficult to suddenly try and account for a work-life balance.
Hence his suggestion, which currently had you sitting pretty on his dick while he fiddled with plans, and various mechanisms for said plans.
It wasn't a chore for you, the way he sometimes shifted as he worked gave you enough stimulation to keep a constant, pleasant edge going, plus you got to hear him mumble adorably to himself as he worked through problems aloud.
And honestly, after being with him for so long, the sound of rustling papers and tinkering mechanics became a sort of ASMR for you, put you right to sleep if you let it.
And so, you settled back comfortably on his lap, grinning as you wiggled your hips to get truly situated and Edward let out a choked gasp, which he tried (and failed) to mask as a cough.
"Of course, dear," you replied, nuzzling your nose against his neck and feeling a flutter of pride at the way his muscles tensed at the affection. "Only a genius like you could handle crafting riddles and having your cock warmed."
"Your sarcasm is noted, and ignored. Now that's two favors I've done for you,"
"Hmm," you mumbled, eyes fluttering closed as the urge to rest quickly took back its hold on you. "Well, 'm sure when I wake up, your genius brain will have thought of how I can make it up to you, yeah?"
The ghost of a touch brushed against the side of your head, as Edward's lips spared you the briefest of affections. "You should mind handing out blank checks, lest someone take advantage.
"I trust you,"
He sputtered, making you giggle softly against his skin - the feeling of your breath sending a tingle down his spine. He cleared his throat and forced himself to focus back on his work, with a huff. "Sleep," he ordered, "since your obviously delirious mind requires it."
You didn't need to be told twice, arms wrapping around his shoulders as you snuggled closer against him, giving a final wiggle of your hips to make absolutely sure you had taken him as deep as you could. "Love you, Eddie,"
"Hmmm,"
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astromechs · 4 months
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rebelcaptain, modern au!
so glad i finally get to ramble about some of the Lore i've thought up here but haven't gotten much of a chance to write on yet:
brief character rundowns for this universe! cassian is a war vet who now works as a chef in a high pressure environment and is slowly imploding about it, also he's dealing with chronic pain from a war injury and severe ptsd. jyn came into a career in mma fighting as solace from a turbulent childhood, but recently had a career-ending injury and is struggling both in dealing with that and trying to figure out what the fuck she wants to do with her life from here.
they meet because they're lowkey set up by... melshi, who in this au 1) was in cassian's unit when they were both in the military and they've been friends ever since (also they fucked once upon a time) and 2) got into the mma world after leaving the military and somewhere along the way became jyn's personal trainer. anyway, they're both separately driving him crazy with their respective shit, so he's like... shoves. go hit it off.
and spoilers, oh they do. they hit it off. they hit it off a little TOO well. it isn't cassian and jyn without them being instantly insane about each other, after all; they move in together after, like, a month. bodhi's like i think it's sweet; melshi's like i created this, this is my fault, hello darkness my old friend, but also he's happy for them, he is. anyway, they've got their adjustments and their struggles especially because they're both people who are used to being by themselves but they're making it work
also very shortly after they move in together it is very important to note that jyn adopts this absolute feral gremlin of a cat that she thinks is a perfect angel baby who can do no wrong because he adores the fuck out of her but he's an absolute fucking hellion. his name is oscar. cassian's like what the fuck, has a conniption every time this cat jumps on HIS kitchen counters that are HIS workstation that he keeps clean and ordered in a very precise way!! yeah, cassian, he keeps fucking jumping on your counters because you keep giving him little scraps of food and encouraging this behavior and giving him little scritches behind his ears because you love that little feral gremlin too! (anyway, jyn is the cat's person initially, but then through all of this, cassian also becomes his person. and that's it for the cat. the cat will accept literally no other person. and that's how this cat becomes their feral gremlin baby child.)
which of COURSE becomes a problem when they leave to go spend the holidays with cassian's family and who's the lucky person who gets stuck catsitting oscar? melshi! who calls jyn on facetime while they're in the middle of dinner and she excuses herself to the kitchen to go take the call, and it's melshi with his face covered in scratches screaming at jyn about her hellion cat and jyn screaming back because hOW FUCKING DARE YOU INSULT HIM hE'S PERFECT IN EVERY WAY YOU'RE JUST NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH. and that ENTIRE facetime screaming match is definitely heard at least two rooms over, and when she hangs up, that's when that occurs to jyn. and... yeah, she's made a pretty fucking terrible first impression, hasn't she? she comes back to the dinner and basically just silently stabs her food violently with her fork the rest of the time. but later that night, she overhears a conversation, without meaning to, between cassian and maarva, the latter of whom is like, "i like her." which is... ok, that's really fucking unexpected, but you know what? she'll take it.
send me a potential au and i'll tell you five facts that happen in the story!
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shirebor · 3 years
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Thorin: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck.
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