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alycosworld · 3 years

Note

Deku with a dirty minded reader

HAHAH YES. THIS. SO GOOD.

At this point, I'm just kinda picking and choosing which requests would be easier to write as a oneshot or HC bc people don't specify. Remember to read the request info list - it's linked on the top post of my blog! Thanks in advance and I hope you like the story!

Warning: this involves a conversation about sex and dirty jokes. Idek if that's a warning but yk.

Embarrassing Deku 101

Izuku Midoriya X Reader

He doesn't notice the little jokes you make, but everyone else does.

You are not subtle at all when it comes to dirty jokes and being dirty-minded in general. But your sweet boy Deku? Yeah, he's too oblivious, he doesn't even notice. And it makes everything so much funnier.

But you wanted to get a reaction out of him. What would your innocent boyfriend say when you finally explained all those times when you mumbled "that's what she said" or made a couple of less than polite hand gestures?

❁❁❁

"Why's everyone so respectful all the time? Y'know, if you keep this up, no one's ever gonna get laid." Mineta said, crossing his arms. There were only a few of you in the common room - just the Dekusquad, the Bakusquad, you, and...Mineta.

"Mineta! That's no way to think, especially not around your classmates!" Iida said, ever-uptight.

"It's no fair! People our age aren't virgins!" Mineta complained.

"If you wanna get laid so bad, I'll give you some advice." You grinned.

"Really? What?" Mineta asked.

"Crawl up a chicken's asshole and wait." You shrugged as the group laughed and Mineta grumbled.

"I should've known you wouldn't give me real advice. Like you'd know anything anyways." Mineta rolled his eyes.

"Well, Deku and I have been dating for a while. You really don't think we've...I don't know. Let's just say I-- sorry, we have a little experience." You smirked as Deku blushed crimson.

"(Y/N)!" He pleaded.

"Sorry, hon." You smiled, kissing his cheek.

"No way...you two have actually--? Damn, Midoriya." Kaminari grinned.

"Ah! My baby's growing up so fast!" Mina cheered.

"What? She's bluffing, obviously. You really Deku of all people would be the first to get laid?" Bakugo asked.

"Don't insult his dignity!" Iida said.

"Sorry Midoriya, it's just a little hard to believe." Kirishima shrugged.

"Especially with how shy you are." Todoroki added.

"You too, Todoroki? I believe them." Uraraka said.

"Hmm...I'd believe it if it was (Y/N) with someone else, but with Midoriya? He could barely speak to her in the first few months of schools." Tsu said.

"Wait, so none of you noticed that odd bruise on Midoriya's neck a while back?" Mineta asked.

"What bruise...?" Todoroki asked.

"Mineta, you saw that? How the hell...? I used foundation and colour correcting concealer and a shit ton of setting spray and--" Deku quickly put a hand over your mouth and forced a smile.

"Sh-she's just rambling, that didn't happen. She's probably just talking about how she does her makeup when we go on dates. There was no need to cover up anything because there was nothing to cover up and that bruise was from a hairdryer, Mineta." Deku said, pulling his hand away from your mouth when you decided to lick his palm to get him off.

"That makes sense. There's no way...there are easier ways to embarrass Midoriya, he wouldn't make it to third base." Kaminari said.

"Third...base?" Deku asked innocently. Admittedly, not everyone in the group knew this term either. Actually, no one did, other than you, Mineta, Kaminari and Mina.

"It means...well, it means--" Mina started, unsure of how to phrase it in a polite way.

Luckily for you, you didn't give a shit about saying it politely.

"It means oral sex, sweetheart." You said nonchalantly, causing a couple of eyes to widen, an outbreak of giggles, and a very embarrassed Deku.

"See! He gets flustered just hearing about it, it doesn't make sense if he's actually made it to that stage, no offense." Kaminari said.

"Well, it doesn't explain how he's so good at it." You mumbled with a grin.

"(Y/N)..." Deku warned. You just winked and kissed his cheek. As much as he loves you, he was very thankful that the group didn't hear what you said.

"But, you're right, Kaminari. Whether you'll believe that we've done the deed or not, there are easier ways to embarrass Zuzu." You said, leaning your chin on his shoulder.

"Please don't call me that." He said, looking and you and smiling while subconsciously nuzzling closer to you.

"Well, just how easy is it to embarrass him? Wanna test his limits?" Sero suggested, pulling out his phone.

"What are you searching up? Oh...dirty jokes...I'm in!" Kaminari said.

"Count me in too!" Mineta said.

"A chance to mock Deku? As if I'd pass up on that." Bakugo grinned.

"Oh God, c-can we not do this?" Deku begged.

"I think it'll be fun!" Uraraka said.

"What? Uraraka, I thought you were on my side!" Deku said.

"I...changed my mind?" She offered, pulling out her phone. Soon enough everyone had their phones out, trying to find some dirty jokes to humiliate Midoriya.

"Guys, guys, if you want dirty jokes, I have plenty." You smirked.

"You too, (Y/N)!?" Deku asked.

"Sorry, sweetheart, this is too good to pass up." You smiled, before taking him by the chin and looking him in the eyes. His face heated up at the close proximity alone.

"Deku, sweetheart, honey, my love, darling, mon amour, my prince, mi corazón--" He inhaled sharply at the nauseatingly sweet nicknames you were spewing.

"Just...get it over with." He said, and you smiled.

"What's the difference between 'ooooh' and 'aaaah'?" You asked.

"Uh...one has As and one has Os?" He said, not wanting to hear the answer.

"No...it's about three inches." You grinned. Everyone laughed or grinned, except for a disapproving Iida, and Deku, who still didn't understand. You smiled kindly at his confused expression before laying it on him.

"Three inches of dick, honey. It takes an extra three inches to change a person's moan." You said, and Midoriya blushed and screwed his eyes shut, burying his face into the crook of your neck.

"Why did I agree to this?" He asked himself.

"You didn't. Okay! Next up..." And you guys went on...and on...and on...until Midoriya was about to pass out of embarrassment. But the interesting part was when Kaminari pulled up a picture on his phone and showed it to the group, who chuckled a little, and then showed it to Deku.

"So...tell me what you see." Kaminari grinned. You just rolled your eyes with a smile.

"I don't think he's seeing what I'm seeing." You grinned, before looking at your boyfriend's face, which was slowly heating up as his eyes darted to the side, not looking at the picture.

"Well, Midoriya? What's the picture showing?" Mina asked with a smirk.

"Uh...I think it's..." He trailed off, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"Wait...are you actually seeing what the rest of us see?"

"Are you serious?!"

"I can't believe it!"

"What? That's impossible!"

"How?!"

"Deku...what is the picture showing?" You asked again.

"Uh..uhm...can I not say?" He mumbled, burying his face into the crook of your neck.

"I wanna hear you say it." You nodded, and he sighed, before whispering into your ear, low enough and quiet enough that no one else heard.

And also low enough to get you embarrassed. He was using that voice, on accident. The one that makes you crumble at his words and blush like crazy. The group looked at you confusedly and Deku had a little spark of concern in his eyes.

"Y/N? You okay?" He asked.

"Me? What? Okay? Of course! Why wouldn't I be? Just...I'll be waiting in your room." You said, abruptly standing up and beginning to walk away.

"What? Why? Was it something I said?" Deku asked.

"Nope, it's how you said it." You said, not daring to look him in the eye.

"How I said-- oh. OH. Really? That's all it took to get you embarrassed?" He smirked.

"Uh, what's going--?"

"Shush, Kirishima. I wanna hear this." Ochaco said, elbowing him in the ribs.

"Yeah, that's all it took, Deku." You said.

"Wow. That's kind of impressive--"

"You can be proud of yourself when my face cools down. I'm leaving." You said, rushing off shyly.

"What's with her? What did you say?" Bakugo asked.

"Hm? Oh nothing, she's just tired and doesn't feel great. We'll be in my room but it's probably best not to disturb us-- her! Her, not us. Okay, bye!" Deku said, rushing off to take care of you.

You two were in for a long night.

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Buster & Rio

Buster: Remember how I reckoned my parents were so checked out Buster: Well they quizzing me now Rio: 😬 So sneaky! Rio: Waiting to see if you were flying solo like Nance too, like Buster: Right? Who knew they had it in them Buster: I told them I met a girl there but my mum clearly ain't buying it Buster: Me and her are having a 🙄 competition basically Rio: Well, at least you can both enjoy that? Rio: Ahh, not good Rio: I'm having my own fun being uncharacteristically vague Rio: Lucky for me only Gracie is so interested to get 👀 suspicious and I can buy her off, like Buster: I'm over it Buster: Literally 18 now sorry fam Buster: Not like I married this mystery girl, like Buster: Just a holiday fling as far as they know Rio: Cold way to break it to me but okay 😜 Rio: Don't think that's the best way to show how mature you are, hittin' em with a YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO but Buster: Very subtle way for you to drop a hint that you're in it for that 💍 babe Buster: That's 'cause I ain't got nothing to prove Buster: They're just showing up since the world knows they let me and Nance go off and do whatever we want Rio: Shup, can rinse you well before that 😉 Rio: No amateur Rio: True facts Rio: Where was the Colin, lads? Tut tut Buster: 💔 When you end up with a girl who's exactly like your ma Buster: How many times are YOU gonna make me ask then? Buster: Rude Buster: 🏆 parents of the year Rio: I mean, definitely a joke to be made about looking outside the fam there Rio: Fool 😂 Rio: Awkward when they reckon they know what a messy year it's been and they only know the half of it Rio: IOU for your sis taking the heat big time Buster: Who you fooling, Cavante, keeping your eyes on that prize 💎 Buster: Yeah Buster: Be interesting to see if she gets the same third degree about how she spent her hol Buster: It's harder to dig when all you've got to go from is aesthetically pleasing scenery, yeah? Unlucky mum Rio: 🙄 You know, you're far more annoying when you ain't somewhere hot and stunning, like Rio: Think on, boy 😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: You know I am hot and stunning Buster: Think on how much you miss me already Rio: Sure she's up for the challenge, whether Nancy is up for the jail time is another question entirely Rio: Hmm Buster: 😂 Rio: Though that would soften the blow of our escapades so like Rio: spill that tea, gurl Buster: I hope for her sake its not a top family holiday destination Rio: Omg Rio: Stop Buster: Make me Buster: I'm so bored Rio: Init Rio: Real life's shit Buster: I refuse to call this real when you ain't with me Rio: Babe Rio: I do miss you Rio: spoilt in all the ways Buster: I miss you too Buster: How are we topping that for your birthday then, what's the plan, like? Rio: Damn, the real question Rio: I've got no clue Rio: use this slow shift as an excuse to be looking Buster: I've gotta take you somewhere hotter and more stunning, obviously Buster: Make myself scarce so you get your turn to brag Rio: 'Course Rio: though Indie will be devvo I'm keeping you off the 'gram Buster: Standard Buster: I'll manage a post or two somehow though Rio: Don't let a win get you cocky Rio: even though we totally got away with it Buster: 'Course Buster: We're that good babe Buster: I never doubted it Rio: Obviously Rio: Lucky it's me who's doing it fam Rio: I'd defs know 👀 Buster: You could've done us all a favor and foreseen what was happening with Nance though Buster: Like if you're gonna be such a know-it-all Rio: 😑 Rio: She's very secretive! Buster: Calm down Buster: I'm only playing Rio: Well I feel bad Rio: I should've noticed Buster: Come on Buster: How could you? You ain't at school with her any more Rio: But I was when all this started Buster: Yeah, but like you said, she's been keeping this secret for a long time Buster: We both know if you wanna you'll find a way Rio: Yeah Rio: Guess so Rio: I don't like it Rio: Gonna have to go full mum mode and start reading diaries around here Buster: Well she's one off your list to worry about Buster: It's unlikely she'll pull anything else like this again Buster: Lesson learned Rio: What a way to learn it though Rio: Oh God Buster: I didn't reckon anyone dreading school more than me but she's got me beat for sure Buster: I'm surprised she didn't just hide out on holiday forever like Rio: Seriously Rio: Guess no one is Chloe levels of bad Rio: face it now and it'll be nothing more than a passing joke to everyone else Buster: Exactly Buster: At least when we were away the worst Chlo and that lot could do was like my pics Buster: No point trying to hit me up when I'm that far even if you are really horny Rio: 'Less you're me and bitch keep trying, like Buster: Though I wouldn't put it past her to fly out Buster: I did for you Rio: Yeah, but I'm special 😉 Buster: She's deluded enough to think I am Rio: Shut up you are Buster: She don't know me like you do Buster: Or at all, honestly Rio: She wishes Rio: Psycho, honestly Rio: and I don't just throw the phrase around lightly, like Buster: Unfortunately they ain't limited to your exes or even the 24 Rio: You kidding? Rio: You know how many you're gonna meet in your chosen profession? Rio: Hopefully they won't try and fuck you, like Buster: Unless it's some hot widow who wants me to defend her for offing her husband, like Rio: You fancy being her next victim, alright Rio: more fool you, babe Buster: She could be innocent Buster: Don't be so cynical or jealous, babe Rio: Yeah, save it for the judge Buster: 😏 Rio: 😒 Buster: 😂 Buster: You're funny Rio: Hilarious 🖕 Buster: Yeah Buster: When can I see you again? Rio: About that Buster: What? Rio: They're getting a bit shirty at work with all the time I've been taking off Rio: so I said I'd work every day basically until xmas, busy time and all that Buster: I'll come to you then Buster: Hang out and be distracting Rio: Yeah? Buster: 'Course Buster: I'm not gonna just not see until Christmas that's ages away Rio: Good Rio: 'cos it is Rio: may as well rinse this festive period for what it's worth though Buster: If I do my homework in the corner don't take the piss though Rio: 🤞 Rio: You gotta Buster: Likewise don't be too 😍 either Buster: I know I'm sexy as but Buster: I'll have to concentrate Rio: Do my best Rio: sexy 🤓 daddy come thru Rio: 😂 Buster: You literally just promised not to take the piss Buster: 😒 Rio: Aww baby Rio: Not, honest Buster: Say that you promise then Rio: 'Course I promise Rio: Easy Rio: You're always hot to me Rio: Nothing you could do, but that ain't a challenge Buster: Good Buster: I'll resist your non-challenge since you're behaving for once Rio: 😇 Rio: Got to set an example for you Buster: But that's easy too yeah? Rio: Naturally Rio: Can't you attest to the fact I'm a good girl yet? Buster: You have your moments Buster: Any chance of you using your influence on my sister if I'm gonna be in Dublin annoying you both until Christmas Rio: I can try Rio: It's hard fighting your corner without saying things I probably shouldn't know though Buster: Oh Buster: Shit I never thought of that Rio: Yeah Rio: if I can get her to talk to you though, then you can say what I know Rio: so, I'll see, sure I can manage that at least Buster: Forget it Rio: I obviously won't Rio: busybody for life Rio: it won't seem strange, she knows it about me too, like Buster: But still Rio: I won't if you seriously don't want Buster: I don't know Rio: You don't need to rush it but like Rio: don't let it fester, won't make it any easier Buster: The longer this goes on the more unnecessarily dramatic it seems Buster: But I don't know what to do if she won't hear me out Buster: And not enough ways to properly say sorry either, like Rio: Yeah Rio: I know it feels counter-intuitive but sometimes you have to talk when the other person reckons they don't wanna hear it Rio: you can't both be stubborn on this one, and you're the one that needs her to break so you gotta go first Buster: Yeah Buster: Okay Buster: I'll chat to her at the weekend when I come see you Rio: Proud of you Buster: Shut up Rio: 😏 Rio: Try not to get too angry Rio: she's fuming enough, like Buster: Cheers for that, babe Buster: Would've never have guessed, like Rio: I'm just saying Rio: it ain't gonna work if you can't be the bigger person for a hot sec Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Buster: Rio Rio: Buster? Buster: Thanks Buster: Seriously Rio: Don't mention it Buster: I have to Buster: Nobody else is gonna Rio: On your behalf? Rio: Shouldn't think so, know you ain't got a secretary yet Buster: Is that you volunteering your services, babe? Rio: Ha Rio: fun as that'd be, you'd never get anything done and my shorthand probably ain't all that, like Buster: What's your typing speed? Rio: You're interviewing me now? Buster: Why not Rio: Okay Rio: Think how fast that reply was is enough of an indication of my typing speed and eagerness Buster: You're hired Rio: That was easy Rio: I would've done anything to get this job, like Buster: 😂 Buster: Still plenty of potential promotions to negotiate, babe Buster: I just know how badly you want this job Rio: Good to know Rio: All about that upward mobility Rio: What's your boss like? Buster: I'm my own boss Rio: 🤤 Rio: Okay can't pretend Rio: that was hot Buster: You're hot Buster: I'm so glad I don't have to pretend about that any more Buster: To you at least Rio: Please don't Rio: Take my pay in compliments Buster: Gonna have to give you a pay rise straight away then Rio: So cute Buster: I just miss you Buster: I can't help it Rio: I miss you too Rio: Did you have a good birthday then? Buster: You know I did Rio: Good Rio: 'cos I did Rio: a lot Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: I kinda love you Buster: You really love me Buster: You can say it Rio: Okay Rio: I love you a lot Buster: Good Buster: And I had a really great birthday with you Rio: Get used to it Rio: Can't jet-set at Christmas sadly but still find a way to treat you Buster: Do you reckon we can for your birthday though? Buster: I don't want you to lose your job but I don't wanna not take you away Rio: I can't literally work all the time now 'til then Rio: fuck that Rio: if they're gonna be that arsey I'll just quit Rio: don't want me showing up to work with my 18s on when i've been working there over a year do you Buster: You'll easily be able to get a better job when you actually are 18 though Buster: So yeah fuck them Rio: God I hope so Rio: such an old man pub Rio: not a mood Buster: You will babe Buster: You're the only decent thing about that place Buster: Besides, if it comes down to it, you'll always be my secretary so 😏 Rio: Yeah, that's keeping the lights on 😉 Rio: I can't wait now Rio: Maybe I can convince Indie to move somewhere more decent with me Buster: Bribe her with a dog Buster: That should work Rio: A trail of dog treats out of the 24 Rio: Aww Buster: I feel like she'll never leave it'll be like when you move house but your cat don't Buster: Just keeps coming back, like Rio: As much as the mangy feline comparison gotta sting Rio: I feel it Rio: Bless her Buster: Just move in here Buster: Every problem solved Buster: As long as you go back to feed Indie Rio: When you're probably pissing off to America in a year? Rio: I don't wanna be stuck in that postcode on my own thanks Buster: Come to American then Buster: They're only slightly more annoying Rio: Yeah right Buster: I promise you Yanks ain't that bad Rio: You're funny Buster: Yeah but I also ain't lying Rio: Got that on good faith have you? Buster: 'Course Buster: Posh cunts are posh cunts wherever you go Rio: Wanna talk no class though Chlo Rio: they don't even understand th concept Buster: I wonder what uni she'll end up at Buster: I can't really quiz her for where to cross off my list Rio: Surely she ain't smart enough for wherever you go Rio: no matter who she knows Buster: I can't say I've ever peered at her papers when they've handed the grades back Buster: But you're probably right Rio: Maybe I'm just being a bitch and want her to be thick Rio: she doesn't come across smart if she is Buster: 😂 Rio: So jealous, yeah? Rio: Tragic Buster: You aren't really though, yeah? Buster: For any of it, I mean, not just me Buster: She's not that rich or posh either, honestly Rio: Nah, I mean Rio: I dunno Rio: not like I'm poor or actual scum Rio: just reckon it'd be nice to be like her and so oblivious Rio: Too much shit in this family to not have a care in the world, even if the money's good, yeah Buster: Yeah Buster: And like I've said before, I like how you are Rio: That's alright then 😏 Buster: She only thinks we look good together on paper 'cause I'm a cunt on paper Buster: Forget her Rio: Yeah Rio: 'Course Rio: she can like your shit all she wants, I was there Buster: She wants to know who you are so badly Buster: That's why she's hovering around my posts Rio: Can't act like I ain't been there Rio: nosy bitches unite but fuck off Buster: You're nothing like her though Buster: Thank Christ Rio: Don't think I could pull it off 😂 Buster: She can't either but it ain't stopping her Buster: Works on the lads well enough Rio: That ain't hard, trust me Buster: Clearly Buster: I'm trying not to think about how many lads you and her have in common at this point Rio: Won't hit her up to compare notes then Buster: You're safe I don't think you're on her radar even if you did Rio: Should I be offended Buster: Relieved is how I'd take it Buster: But take it however you like Rio: Will do Buster: Don't be mad though Rio: I ain't mad Rio: Why are we talking about her anyway Buster: That sounds like you're raging about it Rio: Just 'cos I don't wanna talk about Little Miss Chloe? Buster: Well, yeah Rio: If you've got more to say about her Rio: feel free Buster: Don't be like that Rio: I dunno what you want me to say Rio: talk about her or don't, i'm really fine Buster: Whatever Buster: Forget it and forget her Rio: Done Buster: Are you working tonight? Rio: Yeah Rio: back to reality with a dull thump Buster: Agreed Buster: I've got an essay to write so I'm gonna need as much distraction as you Rio: Won't get it from me Rio: 😇 Good girl, remember? Buster: Come on Buster: What happened to our swapped roles? Rio: Gonna have to do a lot more to convince me to distract you from your studies Rio: Shouldn't be promising all those frat boys and rich professors, like Rio: How else am I getting there, babe? Buster: Get a plane ticket and you're there, babe Buster: One look at you and they'd be convinced Rio: Yeah but you make the whole thing a bit more legitimate Buster: What you mean is, it's no fun for you teasing them if it also doesn't get to me, yeah? Rio: You reckon this is all about you? Buster: I know it is Rio: Cocky dickhead Buster: Maybe Buster: But it's still true Rio: Well Rio: What're you going to do about it Buster: Obviously you need reminding that it is all about me Buster: 'Cause you're mine Buster: And I'm keeping you Buster: But I've got an idea Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: I bought you something when I went shopping the other day, I reckon you can have it now it's no longer my birthday, like Rio: What Buster: No spoilers, wait until it gets to you Rio: Is it a birthday present do I have to wait that long? Buster: 'Course not Buster: I'm no amateur, babe Rio: You can't just buy me things for no reason Rio: and without warning Buster: Don't you want it? Buster: You'll like it, I promise Rio: I mean Rio: Of course I do but Rio: I've not got you anything Buster: That's not why I did it so it doesn't matter Rio: Okay Rio: no spoilers and all but can I have a clue Buster was timed out 20 hours ago Buster joined the chat 20 hours ago Buster: Your clue will be to check the post tomorrow, like Buster: I know you don't like waiting so Rio: Babe Buster: What, you think I'm gonna give you time to talk me out of it? Nah Rio: You're bad Rio: Honestly Buster: You love it Rio: You're an idiot Rio: You really miss me that much already? Buster: 'Course Buster: I miss you more the more time I get to spend with you Buster: Is that not how it's meant to work Rio: It's encouraging Rio: and a decent review so Rio: cheers Buster: You're welcome Rio: [Present arrives] Rio: I can't believe you sent that in the post Rio: to the 24, of all places Buster: What can I say? Where's the fun in not taking risks Rio: It's so Rio: perfect Rio: how'd you know? Buster: Easy Buster: I know what you like Rio: Yeah Buster: Besides, if you didn't i'd just send it to my other girlfriend, obviously Rio: Piss off Rio: Good luck getting it back, I'd sell it Buster: 😂 Buster: 'Course you would Buster: Can't take the 24 from the girl, yeah? Rio: Just saving you from bad 🍀 Rio: you can't regift Buster: Cheers for that, babe Buster: You're the best Rio: Shut up Rio: thanks Buster: 🤐 Buster: Like I said the other day, you're welcome Rio: I miss you Rio: I'm wearing it now Buster: I miss you too Buster: Yeah? How does it look? Rio: [Sends pics] Buster: I already knew what the answer would be, but I'm not sorry Rio: It's alright, I don't mind that you've got ulterior motives Buster: Good 'cause I'm not saying you have to thank me with actions as well as words but if you wanna, I'm not gonna say no Rio: Definitely keep you in mind, babe Rio: not hurt your #ranking like Buster: I'll keep you in mind too Buster: Constantly Rio joined the chat 18 hours ago Rio: I wish you were here Rio: or I was there Rio: whatever Rio: I want you Buster: Me too Buster: So tempted to skip school but shhh Rio: Shh indeed Rio: Best behaviour or your 'rents might go the whole 9 yards and ground you Buster: The only way I'm gonna agree to not being able to leave my room is if I sneak you in first Rio: You don't get to negotiate baby 😂 Buster: Please, they'd love that Rio: Probably Rio: Bunch of weirdos, swear down Buster: When I graduate from Havard or whatever they can take their share of the credit Rio: Of course Rio: I'll keep it hush about our study seshs Rio: don't worry Buster: Nah, you've gotta take your dues too Rio: Probably won't interrupt their speech with it Rio: way to break news though Buster: You not gonna make your own? Buster: Just gonna say everything you've gotta say in private instead, yeah? Rio: Obviously Rio: You'll be glad of it, trust Buster: How glad? Rio: Get you saying your hallelujahs despite your feelings on the big man Buster: Get me writing my vows Buster: I know your game, babe Rio: 😒 Rio: You dumb Buster: You love me Buster: Always have, always will Rio: Umm don't be trying to write mine for me Rio: cheek Buster: Don't be acting like that ain't what you're gonna say Buster: Just make the kiss sound like better than it was, yeah? Rio: Ha, get dragged at your own wedding, ouch Rio: You might reckon I'm predictable but I'm not that much of a bitch Buster: I could call you a lot of shit, but predictable, nah Buster: not you baby Rio: Yeah yeah Rio: being sweet now 😏 Buster: Hold up, I'll send you another gift Rio: Will snitch on you Rio: get your cards revoked for your own good 😂 Buster: No you wouldn't Rio: It does go against everything I usually stand for Rio: but I'll make an exception for you Buster: Awh babe you're gonna break all your rules for me Buster: So cute Rio: 😣 Rio: Imma break your face in a minute Buster: Are you standing on a chair right now? Buster: Be careful Rio: 😡 Rio: GRR Buster: 😂 Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Rio: even if you are rude Buster: It ain't my fault you're small Rio: You make it sound like I've got something wrong with me! Buster: Shut up Buster: You're perfect and you know it Buster: But I'm not gonna pick you up so you can smack me Rio: Well if you're nice I have a better idea Buster: 😇 Rio: Only look like one, boy Buster: Don't lie Buster: You know how nice I can be Rio: True Rio: got the reminder now Buster: You're gonna wear it, right? Buster: Not just for me Rio: Of course Rio: It's beautiful Buster: Yeah but is everyone else gonna notice that too? Rio: You mean am I gonna get mugged? Rio: It isn't that ghetto here forreal Buster: Don't be an idiot Buster: I mean, are your fam gonna be asking endless questions how they do Rio: Might be asking why I'm dropping so much 💲💲💲 on myself but not really their business Rio: We're good Rio: Not an 💍 is it Buster: Alright Buster: Don't want you reckoning I gave it to you to give you another reason why we've gotta tell 'em Rio: Nah, I didn't think that Rio: although it is rude I've gotta take your recognition on it but Buster: Keep praying for that ring, babe Rio: Sure thing 😏 Rio: Could be playing a dangerous game giving me ideas, boy Buster: Is that supposed to worry me? Buster: I love a dangerous game Rio: Don't I know it Rio: Game on 👊 Buster: I wish we could Buster: It's so shit without you here Rio: I know Rio: Life and soul Rio: Looks like there's nothing to do but your essay 🤷 Buster: I've finished that Buster: Waiting on my reward here Rio: Aside from your A? 🤓 Buster: Obviously Rio: Lucky for you I finished your reward too Rio: Great minds, babe Rio: [Video] Buster: Fuck Buster: Well, okay then Rio: Grade me then Buster: Definitely an A for effort Rio: Yeah? Well, how can I improve the execution Rio: use your words, baby Buster: I can't Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: Works for me Rio: You're welcome 😋 Buster: How are you so hot? Rio: You must inspire it in me Buster: I'm actually speechless Buster: I want you so bad Rio: I know Rio: tell me how you want me Buster: I'd tell you to put this desk to better use but I need you so much I think we'd break it Rio: Guess you're going to have to pick me up like you wanna and slam me against the wall instead Buster: I can make that work Rio: You better Rio: I need to cum Buster: You're gonna cum for me baby Rio: I will if you keep talking Buster: [Sends own vid] Buster: Actions speak louder Rio: Fuck Rio: Yeah they do Rio: You know what it does to me when you make those noises Buster: Call me Buster: You can have them all Rio: [A phonecall later] Rio: You're the best Buster: That's my line Rio: Stop being so fucking good and you can have it back Buster: I don't want it that bad Buster: Just you Rio: I know Rio: I'm already so desperate for you so imagine how needy I'm gonna be by the weekend Buster: I know Buster: I feel it too Rio: Well, maybe I won't be such a moody cow at work now at least Rio: owed so many rounds when you're back in town, like Buster: In both senses of the word Buster: Drinks laid on the bar and you bent over it Rio: BUSTER 😲 Buster: Gotta give you some incentive to stay at work until closing time Rio: Jesus Rio: Now I'm turned on again Buster: I'd say sorry but 1. I ain't and 2. that's easy to fix Rio: I know you ain't but I've gotta get ready so Rio: maybe by the time I'm done you will be Rio: sorry you ain't here, like Buster: You reckon? Rio: You don't? Rio: Challenge accepted Buster: You're going to work not the club, yeah? Rio: How dare you doubt me Rio: Offended Buster: Calm down Buster: If you've got nothing to prove then you don't need to worry, do you? Rio: But clearly I do, babe Buster: You don't Buster: I'm just mad you're leaving Rio: I know, stupid real life getting in the way of all the great sex we wanna have Rio: not like I'll be totally unreachable Buster: But you're basically untouchable Buster: I never thought I'd be so buzzing for Christmas Hols. Not that a fortnight will be enough, like Rio: 😔 Rio: Oh Rio: I just had a good idea though Rio: to make you wait until my bday or nah Buster: Depends how good of an idea it is Buster: And how patient you can be about it Rio: It's a great idea Rio: idk why I only just thought of it Rio: fuck it, we're patient enough about everything else Rio: download this app Buster: Alright Buster: No arguments from me Rio: So, basically, you can control it from where you are Rio: almost like touching, right? Buster: Is this why you believe in God? Buster: 'Cause like not saying I'm coming around to the idea but Rio: Pretty high on my list, though best I keep that to myself on Sundays no matter how #blessed I feel Rio: ain't the spirit inside me, like Buster: 😂 Rio: I can wear them to work if you promise to be sensible Buster: I promise to treat you right, babe Rio: Not the same thing but 🤤 Buster: I'm never calling you an idiot again Buster: There's a promise for you Rio: Damn Rio: All the wins for me Buster: I love you Buster: So fucking much Rio: I love you more Buster: Is that a challenge? Rio: I mean Rio: if it motivates you, babe Buster: It'll motivate me to make the most of this app Rio: Then it definitely is Rio: yep 😏 Buster: If you think you're desperate now, you'll need a new word soon Rio: I'll do my best to think on it whilst you're fucking my brains out Buster: If you can think of anything but me I'm not going hard enough Rio: Well you're in control, daddy Rio: you know what to do Buster: Yeah I do Buster: You're gonna get fucked so good, baby Rio: Please Buster: Say it for me again Rio: Maybe I should save my begging for when I really need it Buster: 😏 full of good ideas today, like Rio: Can't even joke today Rio: you know it baby Buster: Always known it Rio: I'm gonna need that one in writing Buster: It's right there Rio: You been playing but that's the legal and binding document I'm really about Buster: I'm so proud Rio: 😊 Buster: Let's see this mindblowing work outfit then Rio: 🙄 I really need to work on expectation management Buster: No you don't Rio: [Snap] Buster: You're not wearing that Rio: I am though? Buster: Behave Buster: Trying to make me miss you before you've even gone Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: That's the whole point Rio: Silly Buster: Yeah but my point is how turned on I am whilst trying to be so 😇 Rio: Don't be good Rio: The more turned on you are the harder you'll fuck me Buster: How 😈 do you want me to be? Rio: Well Rio: I want you to cum Rio: whatever that takes Buster: If you keep talking like that it won't take much Rio: Better 😶 'til you got me closer then Rio: it's best when we do it together Buster: Yeah that's how I want it Rio: I wish you could cum inside me Buster: Me too Buster: Soon though Rio: I'm already thinking about it though Rio: amongst all the other things we're gonna do Buster: I never stop thinking about it Buster: I can't Buster: Good thing I'm smart or that essay would've been illegible Rio: 😂 accidentally outs us to your teach Rio: I know the feeling though, babe Buster: How the fuck did my sister actually get decent grades Buster: I'm impressed Buster: Don't tell her like but Rio: Yeah, I don't think that's how you wanna start the 'let's be friends' convo Rio: so I'll keep it to myself 😂 Buster: Appreciate it Rio: I still don't see it Rio: very much not the point but Buster: What? Rio: The teacher Rio: she ain't even cute Buster: What does she look like? Rio: Oh, hold up Rio: [pics from facebook] Buster: Are you joking right now or is that really her? Rio: Obviously it is Rio: If I was joking I'd pick someone ridiculously unfanciable Rio: she's just like Rio: a normal woman? Buster: What the fuck Buster: Too late for me to have a word with Nance but like Rio: Right? Rio: It makes it worse Rio: at least if everyone else thought she was fuckable Nance would get an easier time of it but nah Buster: At least if she was fuckable it'd be worth losing your mind over her Buster: Christ Buster: Her girlfriend was alright though, like I wouldn't but Rio: We'd know, babe Rio: Idk if she even liked her now or what Rio: what a mess Buster: I don't know what I pictured this teacher looking like but that wasn't it Buster: Clearly I know my sister even less than I reckoned Buster: Fucking hell Rio: You really thought she'd be hot? 😂 Rio: Boy Buster: Hotter than that Buster: I'm not saying she had to be ruin your life hot but like this crush was years long, yeah? Rio: It was obviously about what was inside, like Rio: looking back she spent more time in her classroom than necessary, just thought she wanted somewhere to hide, like Buster: I'm not having that Buster: If you wanna get inside someone then it's about the outside too Buster: I'm not fucking anyone 'cause they have a decent personality Rio: Well nah, that ain't your type is it Buster: Whose type is it? Like I bet even when her husband first hit that she was younger and hotter Rio joined the chat 5 hours ago Rio: Her husband ain't anything special either Rio: he's a teacher too, you know Buster: What? Buster: At your school? Rio: Yeah Rio: he teaches Irish Buster: Shit Rio: I know Rio: and their son is in our year, that's why everyone's losing their shit Buster: And nobody was gonna tell me none of this ever Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Obviously Nance ain't in the mood but yeah Rio: reckoned your 'rents would've Buster: Obviously not Buster: No wonder she fucking hates me if she blames me for starting this shit storm Rio: It's fucked Rio: she knows that's a flimsy excuse but yeah Buster: Is it though? If she's gone years without putting any moves on she could've gone one more easy Buster: Until I fucked her head up Rio: You hardly made her Buster: Well I didn't stop her Rio: If she had her mind set on it you couldn't Buster: Yeah I could Rio: Well regardless Rio: happened now Buster: I can't believe my fucking parents Buster: If we weren't fucking I wouldn't be in the loop about anything Rio: They probably reckoned they were saving her further embarrassment Rio: but you're welcome for the unexpected perk? Buster: What do they think I'm gonna do? Buster: Nice to know they reckon I'm that much of a cunt Rio: Come on Rio: The jokes come easy, you wouldn't be the first or only Buster: She's my fucking sister Rio: I know Buster: Some shit's off limits Buster: They're as bad as Chlo is Buster: I'm not gonna laugh it up, like Rio: That might not be why they haven't said Rio: You know what they're like, could have easily just not occurred to them Buster: Yeah, well fuck them Rio: Bit strong Buster: How are you on their side? Rio: I'm not Rio: Just don't get mad at them based off conjuncture Buster: Act like it then Rio: Don't shoot the messenger Buster: I ain't Buster: I'm asking you to back me instead of them Buster: what the fuck Rio: I do Buster: Don't defend their bullshit then Rio: Don't have a go at me Rio: I'm just looking at all sides of it Buster: Like their side matters Buster: You're on mine Rio: Exactly Rio: so I don't want you running your mouth if you don't need to Rio: just trying to save you from more aggro Buster: Fuck off Buster: I have self control Rio: Use it then Buster: You're as bad as them Buster: What do you think I'm gonna do? Buster: I'm not about to go find them to shout the odds Rio: Alright then Rio: I'm not doing this rn Buster: What does that mean? Rio: That I'm too busy to go 'round the houses on this one with you Buster: Fuck you then Buster: If you don't wanna talk to me, don't Rio: This ain't talking Buster: Typing. Whatever Rio: That ain't what I mean Rio: You're just shouting at me, you can blow off steam on your own Buster: Bullshit Buster: I'm not mad at you Rio: Nah? Buster: Come on Buster: You're the only one on my side Buster: I'm not that much of an idiot Rio: They ain't against you Buster: Maybe not but they ain't exactly for me either Rio: Maybe not Rio: not their style Buster: I'm sorry, yeah? Rio: It's alright Buster: It's not Buster: I'm not trying to take shit out of you Rio: Shit happens Rio: I know you're stressed Buster: And you're the only thing that doesn't stress me Buster: You know that, don't you? Rio: Duh Rio: I'm a delight Buster: Actually though Buster: I wish you were here right now Rio: I know Rio: Me too Rio: You're alright, yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: I just miss you Buster: Standard Buster: It's so easy to forget everything else when I've got you with me Rio: I feel it Rio: but fuck forgetting yeah? we're gonna start sorting shit Rio: grown up style Buster: Full of so many good ideas, Cavante Rio: Just gotta listen, babe Buster: I am, I promise Rio: I love you Buster: I love you Buster: Don't forget it, okay Rio: I ain't gonna Rio: don't worry Buster: Good Rio: Ugh guess who's here Buster: Tell me Rio: Ryan Rio: really starting to think he'd got a life Buster: He better behave himself Rio: Yeah, he's with other people so Rio: still, plenty of pubs lads but whatever Buster: Do what you've gotta do, babe Buster: I'm here Rio: I'm an expert at ignoring him by this point Buster: 'Course Buster: All that matters is that he returns the favor, like Rio: I swear he was cuter when I went out with him Rio: not cute enough to warrant this but like ick Buster: He really wasn't Rio: Well clearly his personality was fire Buster: Again I'm gonna go out on a limb and disagree Rio: 😂 why are you trying drive me to drink here Buster: 'Cause I can't drive you to distraction if he's there Buster: Cunt would think you were hot for him still Rio: Obviously Rio: girls love dedication Buster: Is that what he calls it? Rio: Best if I don't question it Buster: I still reckon its best if I knock him out Rio: Looks like someone beat you to it Rio: his face is fucked Buster: I'd ask how you know it ain't me but Buster: If I started I'm not stopping there Rio: Yeah come on babe, no quitter Buster: You've got jokes but I ain't making one Buster: Maybe it was your new bestie Rio: Who? Buster: Drew Buster: Could be an early birthday gift Rio: Oh lol Rio: Maybe Rio: drug debt Buster: Yeah exactly Buster: At least you look good Rio: How's that a good thing? Buster: It's never not when you see your ex Rio: Sudden expert 😏 Rio: so cute Buster: Shut up Buster: I've got plenty of girls I'd rather not see again Buster: More than you've got official exes Rio: You reckon Buster: You don't? Rio: I dunno Rio: do we really wanna compare numbers Buster: I'll tell you if you wanna know Buster: But it doesn't really matter Rio: Nah Rio: know you'll just get jealous Buster: You know you'll get jealous you mean Rio: I said what I said boy Buster: And you meant what you meant Buster: Which is what I said Rio: Shut up Buster: Make me, babe Rio: No, you'd enjoy it far too much Buster: You say that like it's bad thing Buster: You know you'd get yours Rio: and they say romance is dead 😜 Buster: Says you wearing a bracelet just 'cause Rio: 😏 Shh Buster: Shh me Buster: I've got a lot to say Rio: Go on then Rio: Enlighten me babe Buster: For starters, you've got me feeling like I have to prove what a romantic I am Buster: So it's about time that I mastered this app Buster: Until you feel the love Rio: Baby Rio: I was just playing Buster: If you wanna play, we'll play babe Rio: 😻 Buster: 😏 Rio: You just wanna hear me beg Buster: Yeah Rio: Fair Rio: I've just gotta keep the whole bar from hearing, like Buster: Tell yourself it's only for me Buster: I know you can do it Rio: 😊 Rio: so supportive Buster: It's just a shame I'm not there to actually hold you up Buster: I reckon you're gonna need it Buster: Hang onto the bar, baby Rio: Oh God Buster: He's not taking the credit for this Buster: It's all me Rio: Yeah it's all yours baby Buster: Good 'cause I want it Rio: I want you so bad right now Buster: I know Buster: But you can cum for me as many times as you need Rio: I got your permission? Buster: As long as you're quiet Rio: Fuck Rio: Buster, I can't Buster: Yes you can, baby Rio: I need you to tell me to Buster: Well, I need you to cum for me now Rio: Jesus Rio: Please keep doing whatever it is you're doing Buster: If you say please like you mean it Rio: Please baby Rio: fuck me harder i wanna cum for you right here Buster: Like that? Or like this? Rio: Shit Rio: 2nd one definitely 2nd one Buster: Good to know Rio: Please 😩 Rio: You're teasing me so much Buster: Is that better? Rio: I'm so close Buster: Let's go harder then Rio: I should definitely go somewhere private but also don't trust myself to walk away from this bar Buster: Stay right there, babe Rio: Okay, only because doing what you say makes me every tighter Buster: I know Buster: You love doing what you're told Rio: Only when it's you doing the telling though Buster: I'm the only one who can make you feel this good that's why Rio: It's true Buster: I love you Rio: I can't believe that just made me cum Rio: 😳 Buster: I can Buster: It's a good app babe, well done Rio: You have no idea Rio: Regulars asking if I'm alright like not just babe Buster: 😂 Buster: You've got so many more hours to survive too Buster: Good luck babe Buster: I'm only just getting started with this Rio: Please Rio: Be serious Buster: I'm so serious Rio: Babe Buster: Yeah? Rio: I love you Buster: I miss you Rio: I miss you more Buster: You'll be too tired to miss me when this shift is over Rio: Awh is that your plan? Rio: So chivalrous Buster: 'Course Rio: Will you go to sleep with me when I'm done Buster: Yeah Buster: You know that's the only way I wanna sleep if you can't be here Rio: Good Buster: How long have you actually got left? Rio: You sleepy babe? Buster: Hilarious Buster: I'm just thinking about how much I'll be able to tire you out Rio: You've got about 3 hours total left Rio: Use 'em wisely Buster: Plenty of time

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