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soureggs · 8 months

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?? present ??

So my brother works at a bakery right.

He came home with a huge piping bag full of Whipcream

he randomly jump scared me from behind like a cryptic

And he threatened to poor it on my hair or on my phone if i didnt put out my hands so like obviously I put out my hand and then he squirted a huge like a BIG ass pile in my hands?? like it was so fast like he KNEW i would pull back!

i sat there at my desk so shocked and confused

And he told me to eat it, then left i had no napkins , my trash was full and i couldn't stand up bc I was pushes so far up on my desk so like

I sat there eating whip cream outa my cupped hands like a bitch ass punk , what the fuck did i do ?????????????

i felt like i was a lowly peasant and he a noble man burdening me with a gift he didn't want

#what did i do wrong #what did i do to deserve this #whip cream fairy #violent present #siblings #why would he force whip cream on to me #have i sinned ?#weird gift #im still confused #im still coping #scream #ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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getfunderberked · 1 year

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Here is the story of how I got this tomato.

Boss: I have something for you.

Me: *Takes tomato* Thank you?

Boss: It’s a tomato.

Me: Yes, it is.

Boss: It’s your solstice gift.

Me: Uhh… thank you.

He then walks away. When he passes by later in the day I offer it back. He declines. I later informed my coworker of this incident. We laugh and move on. Several hours later my boss says I shouldn’t have told my coworker. He says “It is really important that in future scenarios, I don’t tell them.” I jokingly say “they were very jealous.” He says “Exactly,” and leaves.

#tomato #gift #solstice #winter solstice #solstice tomato #weird gift #weird conversations #strange #jealousy #best gift ever

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greenleafgoddess · 8 months

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novelty bread pillow! any fans of bread?

if you're in need of a weird novelty gift - here it is! on amazon now:

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queerdandelion · 1 year

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Every year my mom vandalizes a reflection calendar with pictures of Keanu to make a “with Keanu” calendar for her friend. These are some highlights:

(Guys, selling these would be illegal lol. All it takes is a printer and some glue, get creative 😂)

#keanu reeves #weird gifts #christmas presents #christmas2023 #late christmas post #new years 2023 #keanu meme #calendar

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diabolichare · 3 months

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Is this courtship?

Danny is going to Gotham for his scholarship.

Good news! There's another halfa in the city, and he seems to be a good guy. Bad news: the nearest path to his university is through that halfta's haunt. He could take the long way around, but the costs would be more than his budget can handle, and he'd like to avoid dealing with a pissed-off Red Hood.

Hopefully the offerings will be enough to sate his annoyance (and help maybe, god that man has the most malnourished core he's ever seen).

Jason is getting incredibly confused over the strange gift baskets that keep appearing on his patrol routes.

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sunflowergraves · 11 months

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#solangelo #tsats #will solace #nico di angelo #pjo #the sun and the star #kayla gave will this as a gag gift and he took it seriously #nico loves weird ass people so its fine #will has zero flirting skills #he got the tism for real because this is how i flirt with me boyfriend

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jinaxxo · 8 months

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memory no. 8 redraw ☀️🌿

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legobiwan · 10 months

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Apropos of nothing, here's my personal headcanon in regards to Mario and Luigi's surname.

Now, it's been generally announced and accepted that the brothers' last name is "Mario," shackling them with the somewhat awkward full names of "Mario Mario" and "Luigi Mario." My take on this is that the family's original last name was "Marianetti" (likely coming from the more common "Marinetti"). This name was changed to "Marionetti" when the boys' grandmother came over from Italy. (A common occurrence in record keeping at immigration at the time. Someone probably had bad handwriting and smudged a pencil stroke somewhere. It happened in my family for sure).

In Brooklyn, their father went by the last name "Marionetti," which ended up shortened to just "Mario," as oftentimes he would be addressed by his surname only. (Think, "Hey, Mario! Get over here!" as opposed to "Hey, Marionetti! Get over here!")

So, the boys are born and get their names. (Their father's middle name was Mario, and so our Mario, being the oldest, inherits his father's middle name as his first name. Luigi's name maybe comes from the middle name of some uncle who is long out of the picture).

So we have "Mario Marionetti" and "Luigi Marionetti." Which, their surname being a mouthful, gets shortened to "Mario" more often than not, just like their father. And thus we end up with "Mario Mario" and "Luigi Mario," culminating in the "Mario Brothers."

#hello there #this is based on zero science and mostly a way for me to explain the weird last name thing #i also came up with middle names for the boys based wholly on how i feel they sound and look written down #mario's middle name would be alphonso and luigi's would be giovanni #but i just looked up the meaning of the names and they're PERFECT for the boys #alphonso being “noble and ready to battle”#and giovanni being “gift from god” which would fit with luigi being the second younger twin #also if these definitions are off forgive me and google hahahaha #but the bros don't use those middle names in real life except to annoy each and embarrass each other #anyway enjoy that little tidbit while i go back to work

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canisalbus · 26 days

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A friend of mine sent me your latest post and I couldn't stop thinking about how perfectly Vasco would fit into the role of a coat of arms supporter. It got to the point that I just sat down and made a mock-up of the idea; turns out actually, both of them do a great job at it, together. Literally made this account to share the discovery (Extra funny points for them fitting the original colour scheme)

.

#I was having a late night snack and almost inhaled my pizza when I received this #glorious #Vasco is excited to be there he's taking his new coat of arms supporter role very seriously #hey stop fiddling with the mantle Machete leave it be #I had to look this up but this is apparently the royal coat of arms of united kingdom #and in the original the characters are a lion and an unicorn #which fits these two oddly well #I love the fig leaf censorship very classy very tasteful #thank you for going through the trouble of making an account just to send me this it's priceless #gift art #peaceofbreadcake #Vasco #Machete #own characters #teamwork ✨#the weird thing is how it almost works #if you didn't look closely enough you might not notice that the heraldic beasts are naked dog men

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fandomsandfeminism · 1 year

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As we move towards the summer months, this is a healthy reminder that:

BMI is misapplied at best and pseudoscience at worst.

That genetics have far more affect on body type than any other factor.

That a "healthy weight" varies wildly from person to person.

That your body's actual healthy weight shouldn't require constant dieting to maintain.

That some studies have shown that being slightly "overweight" based on BMI actually makes you more resilient against injury and illness.

That unless your weight is actually directly causing you mobility issues or pain, it isn't a problem.

That movement and food should be a source of joy, not self discipline and stress.

That everyone looks better in clothes that fit properly.

That being hydrated and well fed is far more important to your health than you realize.

That fed is best.

That chiseled abs are only really visible if you are dehydrated.

That feeling the sun on your skin and bird song can heal the parts of you that years of dieting and weight watching and self criticism has injured.

That you have no obligation to be sexy or beautiful.

That you should never say things about your own body that you wouldn't say about a friend's or a partner's.

That it is not a moral imperative to be healthy or mobile or skinny.

That the people who judge you for your weight are fighting their own demons.

That People are absolutely terrible at guessing a person's weight. How you dress and carry yourself has far more impact on perception.

That You don't have to be beautiful to enjoy a beautiful day.

Better happy than skinny.

Feeling good is better than looking good.

#anti diet culture #dont hide in baggy clothes #our cultures aversion to nonsexual nudity has really warped our perception of bodies #bodies are weird #feeling good is better than looking good #feminism #this is for men too #women nonbinary genderqueer everyone #please drink water and eat food #food is so good #food is a gift

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aroaceleovaldez · 4 months

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some musings about deified death sibs designs. ft obligatory sibling tormenting

#pjo #riordanverse #nico di angelo #hazel levesque #my art #they both get their dad's weird ghost-fabric clothes #nico gets horns and wings cause he needs to be Extra at all times (also the horns are a Zagreus thing)#the wings were probably a gift from another god. they've got iridescence cause again: nico needs to be extra #Hazel went ''yeah i'll be comfy and in a standard outfit'' and Nico went ''IF I'M NOT DRAMATIC THEN WHAT'S THE POINT''#< sacrificed pants to look cool #also WE SHOULD BE GIVING HAZEL CROWNS if Nico gets to be a king Hazel should get to be royalty too #also Nico has a diadem ergo the ribbons #and of course both of them get SO MUCH JEWELRY cause their dad's god of riches. so.

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nelkcats · 9 months

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Parent's Day

Ghosts didn't have a father's or mother's day as such, but they did have a day where they combined both. A day to celebrate your guardians. Humans, Yetis, Amazons or Gods, it was a quiet day to thank them for your ghost adoption.

Dan and Ellie had spent a few years under the halfa's care but at the end of the day they considered him their guardian (although Dan did it reluctantly), so when they heard about Parent's Day they panicked.

They wanted to show Danny that they really appreciated him but a mug or coupons were not enough. In the end after some brainstorming they decided to give him the closest thing to a mug that was in the Realms: Constantine's complete soul.

John Contantine was a very annoying human, they knew this because they heard Danny complain about his paperwork many times. Apparently their father had 99% of his soul but couldn't do anything until he had 100%, and what better gift than to help him get rid of the paperwork? He hated paperwork! It was perfect!

With some help from Clockwork they traveled to DC's dimension, determined to take the last of the hellblazer's soul. Dan wondered if he should steal a star from the dimension while they were there (Danny liked space didn't he?), as an extra gift.

John Constantine was in the middle of explaining the holes in reality to the Justice League when a shiver ran through his body. He had an instant bad feeling.

#dpxdc #Parent's Day #ghosts are not distinguished by gender and half of them are not human so they have a day to celebrate their guardians in general #ghosts like to adopt younger ghosts to guide them #they usually don't have children of their own #The idea of Dan and Ellie sounds weird but you have to remember that they are children #Regardless of their outward appearance #they are both young #and they only want to take away from Danny what bothers him as a gift #I like to think that Dan was “born” by combining both cores #he's not Danny but he retained most of his negative emotions and memories #dp x dc #dc x dp #Constantine will have a long day #but he asked for it after selling his soul 50 times #Dan and Ellie googled “best gift” but only mugs coupons and flowers came up #Dan doesn't know if it's possible to steal stars but he will make it possible #ghost king danny

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musubiki · 3 months

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my best friend is the main character

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puppetmaster13u · 3 months

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Prompt 195

“Oh. It’s you.”

The entity that had been summoned practically growled, a cloak like swirling galaxies- or was it swirling galaxies molded into a cloak- shimmering around their form. One pair of arms crossed over a chest where a star pulsed with the heartbeat of universes, alive yet dying as lazarus green eyes glowered down at the league and bats alike.

“You know you could, fucking call, right?” they whined, aura of terror suddenly broken, unnatural fear torn away and leaving all of them wrong-footed and confused.

Well, apparently all of them except for Ras, who had an honest to fuck grin on his face, one that looks almost carefree, if a little feral. Nope. No thanks. Not this timeline-

“But phones didn’t exist last we spoke, ya ‘amar.”

#Dcxdp #Dpxdc #Prompts #Danny got sent to the past by Clockwork for a vacation/training the first time he met Ras #They became rivals of sorts and just kept meeting up #Did they maybe fall in love as well? No one knows but them #On the other hand Ras did get his main Lazarus Pit as a wedding gift #and both Ellie & Dan were half raised like weird siblings/cousins to Ras’ kids #do with that as you will #Fellas is it gay to call your eternal rival your moon?#Ras for once wasn’t doing anything evil- though he’s a horrible person #A good dad yeah but a good person? Eh Danny has gotten used to it and finds him hilarious #They have matching death humor to their past teachers’ dismay and horror #They’ve gotten divorced seven separate times and gotten married three #Depends on the century #half of the time it was either done drunk or for tax benefits

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theexorcistiii · 11 months

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