#wei ying is just farming with his family while he's back to school to become an elementary school teacher

[nie-smh-my-head-huaisang]

Okay so.

Lan Zhan is the band teacher at the local high school and Wei Ying is a very supportive parent that goes to every band function and Lan Zhan is trying to figure out which kid is his so he knows which on to never wrong.

It's gotta be one of the ferals right. Surely it is not his most well behaved student.

It is.

The Wei Yuan thing should have been a dead giveaway. But he introduces himself as Wen Yuan so he kind of missed it.

His younger distant cousin Lan Jingyi mentions over dinner that he went over to the Wei Household, and was assassinated by Wei Ying's spicy congee. Wei Ying also threatened to adopt him and he was honestly very touched.

Jingyi becomes Mr. Lan's primary source of information on his crush.

"Mr. Wei and Yuan live with their big extended family. Mr. Wei's mom is the coolest old person I have ever met." And Lan Zhan is like "is she as cool as our great great grandmother Lan Yi?" And Jingyi is like "ya. She let me drive her to the convenience store." And Lan Zhan and Lan Huan have a whole heart attack because Jingyi does not have his driver's permit.

"Grandpa Wei reminds me of you wangji" "explain" "does not speak unless forced to." "Mn"

"Yuan's cousins are really cool, one's a doctor so I've only seen her once when we were awake at ass"o"clock and she was off her graveyard shift and she brought home mcdonald's and the other cousin let us help man the booth at the farmers market last Sunday and Mr. Wei let me take home some radishes and gave me 50 bucks."

Lan Huan is like "do you like going over there because they let you get away with things and feed you junk?" And Jingyi sips his tea and is like "perhaps."

But Lan Zhan picks up that Wei Ying works the farmers market on Sundays, so next time Jingyi helps them out, Lan Zhan will pick him up. Just that. And not to hit on the supportive band mom.

So Lan Zhan goes to the Farmer's Market and Wei Ying is passed the fuck out back there. So Lan Zhan has to pass by a few times. Finally when he's awake, he freaks out because Jingyi and Sizhui did not tell him that the hot band teacher was there and saw him snoring in public.

And now Lan Zhan has to deal with the fact that Wei Ying knows him as "The Hot Band Teacher"

#hot band teacher wangji AU #wangxian #jingyi is a gift helping his older cousin get it in #wei ying is just farming with his family while he's back to school to become an elementary school teacher #he loves kids and only had the one so this is his chance to become someone's second mom #had in quotation marks since he adopted the hell out of that baby #if you ask he will say a-yuan came straight from his womb tho

[notmyassbutt]

modern mdzs au where wei wuxian is a big name celebrity who gets cancelled due to his complicated relationship with the law (maybe he advocates for minority rights, like LGBT stuff, and the government isn’t cool with that?)

this got way longer than i intended it to be the rest will be under the cut

so instead of dealing with the pr nightmare he fucks off to some farm town where the only ones who know who he is are his two best friends from college, Wen Qing and Wen Ning. The Wen siblings had to move back home after college to help with their grandparents’ farm and Wen Qing decided to open a small clinic there while Wen Ning helps with the actual farm stuff.

So Wei Wuxian becomes a farmer in a town with a population of like 200 people.

but like, before going ghost he tweets something cryptic like “thank you for all the good times and sorry i wasn’t enough...” and so after a year or so of hearing nothing from or about wwx everyone assumes he died and it was covered up

wwx would still go visit his family during the holidays and important events like jin ling’s birthday but he would always make sure not to be seen

he thinks the sns posts that claim he’s dead are kinda funny (mostly due to inaccuracy of facts/assupmtions) he also has a folder full of memes about his death/disappearance that he sends to jiang cheng whenever jc gets mad at him

so after 13 years of being out of the spotlight he decides he wants to be closer to his family and move back, he assumes he’s changed enough in the 13 years to be mostly unrecognizable and as a precaution uses a fake name in public (Mo Xuanyu)

at some point, Mo Xuanyu, is introduced to Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and he assume they don’t recognize him because they don’t react to meeting him. but it does seem like lwj is very interested in getting to know mo xuanyu.

which kinda pisses wwx off, he tried so hard in high school to get lwj to notice him and be his friend, and now he’s suddenly friendly. did lwj really hate him that much?

so after a few strictly platonic one-on-one outings with lwj (they platonically hold hands at the beach so neither gets pulled away by the waves) wwx is getting a little frustrated that lwj seems to refuse to call him by name, it’s always “you” or nothing

until the day that lwj drank some wine at family dinner, lwj obviously passes out and wwx offers to take him to the guest room so he can sleep it off

cue yanli commenting about how good of a boyfriend a-xian is being (and jc making a noise in loving disgust)

yanli’s comment plays over and over again in wwx as he’s carrying lwj upstairs. all he can think about is how much lwj would probably hate him if he found out that he had lied about who he was and was actually lwj’s annoying friend from high school

so he lays lwj down and tucks him in and, in a moment of weakness, he kisses lwj. lwj’s eyes flutter open and wwx is immediately ready for lwj to get mad at him and to say sorry

but instead drunken lwj pulls wwx in to cuddle and wwx is ready to assume this is because lwj’s drunk but figures he should enjoy it while he can

after awhile wwx moves to stand up and leave lwj to sleep but lwj pulls him closer and says the most shocking thing wwx has ever heard

“Wei Ying, stay.”

and so, wwx cuddles up to lwj with his heart bursting, lwj knew and still wanted to be close to him

cue post-drunken sleep shenanigans where wwx and lwj play like just dance or mario party with the fam (jyl, jzx, jl, jc, and lxc (because this is a xicheng au)) 

after that wwx offers to walk lwj home to make sure he gets there safe but after he’s tucked lwj in, lwj won’t let him leave. so wwx tells himself he’ll stay until lwj falls asleep and then leave but lwj is warm and his bed is soft. before wwx realizes it he jolted awake when lwj practically jumps out of bed when he wakes up in the morning.

cue that scene from the novel where wwx teases lwj by implying they drunken banged

and although they don’t talk about what happened that night they grow closer regardless

they go on a couple more definitely not-dates and then wei wuxian gets noticed by a fan, then a couple fans, and then suddenly #weiwuxianisntdead is trending on twitter, and then he doesn’t hear from lwj for days...

normally, it wouldn’t worry wwx too much, lwj didn’t really use his phone, but then he doesn’t come to family dinner. and when wwx ask lxc about it he says “lwj just thought you need sometime alone”

and now wwx is confused, he thought lwj already knew but maybe he didn’t actually? maybe lwj just mistook mxy for wwx while drunk but didn’t do that while sober?

when in reality lwj meant that he thought wwx would want time to sort out being thrust back into the limelight without dealing with his not-boyfriend

they end up spending more time apart than either expected since both were waiting for the other to be ready to come to them

but eventually jiang cheng is done with his brother’s emotional bs because not only does he hate watching wwx be so forlorn but he also has to deal with lwj as well (everytime jc wants to hang out with his bf lxc suggests they invite lwj along because “he needs to leave the house” and jc begrudgingly can’t say no)

so jc and lxc set up lunch with both wwx and lwj but don’t say the other is going to be there and then they bail as soon as they know lwj and wwx aren’t going to run away

insert sappy conversation where they admit all of their feelings and laugh at how stupid they’ve been then they hold hands and kiss and stuff 

and they lived happily ever after. the end. :D 

#mdzs #mdzs au #i've spent the last 3 hours writing this out #thank you hyper-fixation? #mdzs modern au #i actually kinda want to write the full thing nowm #but feel free to use this as inspiration if you want to write it #just link the fic back to me because i want to read it! lol