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o-xytocin · 2 years

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The worst part about anything that’s self-destructive is that it’s so intimate. You become so close with your addictions and illnesses that leaving them behind is like killing the part of yourself that taught you how to survive.

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brokenangelbook · 1 year

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#short poem #love poem #spilled poem #poems and poetry #poemsociety #ten word poem #poems on tumblr #depressing poem #my poem #original poem #recovery #recovering addict #wedorecover #anger #love addiction #sex addiction #codependency

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intoxicatedteetotaler · 10 months

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I’m 42 days #sober today and just got married this past Saturday. I have been fairly quiet about it but now that I’ve made it more than a week, am applying myself to use the tools I’m learning every day, sometimes every minute.. I feel like maybe someone else will maybe understand the struggles I have went through with addiction. Thanks for letting me share..

#soberliving #sobriety #mental illness #addiction #sober thoughts #staying sober #sobermotivation #sobercommunity #sober #wedorecover #loveyourself #marriage #married life #grateful

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devinetheory-2 · 1 year

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I tend to shy away from posting ish like this but it seems so applicable. If one of you sees this and is able to break the cycle before the misery, self loathing and self doubt kick in... than I've been able to do some good in this world. Be the light you want to see in the world and don't let ANYONE OR ANYTHING extinguish that.

Love life, live happy.

- DT

What are the symptoms of narcissistic abuse?

Well here are a few:

You are being covertly manipulated.

Since it is covert you are not meant to notice that you are being made to do something you otherwise would not have against your own self-interests. Since you are in this pickle that means you were not familiar with the tactics and how to identify and resist them. Therefore the easiest way to tell is to ask yourself some of these questions.

Your mood depends entirely on the state of the relationship, and you are experiencing extreme highs and lows.

Your joy at finding love has turned into the fear of losing it. Your feelings have moved from happiness and euphoria to anxiety, sadness, and depression.

You're unhappy in the relationship and uncertain about it much of the time, yet you dread losing it because of you're blissfully happy with it every now and then

You feel like you're responsible for ruining the best thing that ever happened to you, but you're not sure how

Your relationship feels very complex, although you don't know why. When talking to others about it, you might find yourself saying, “It’s hard to explain. It is really complicated”

You continually obsess about the relationship, analyzing every detail repeatedly in a desperate attempt to “figure it out”. You talk about all the time to anyone that will listen. It doesn’t do any good.

You never feel sure of where you stand with your partner, which leaves you in a perpetual state of uncertainty and anxiety

You frequently ask your partner if something is wrong. It feels as if something is wrong but you don’t know what it is

You are frequently on the defensive. You feel misunderstood and have the need to explain and defend yourself.

You seem to have developed a problem with trust, jealousy, insecurity, and overreaction during this relationship which your partner has pointed out to you on many occasions.

You feel ongoing anger or resentment for someone

You have become a detective. You scour the web and social media for information about your partner. You feel a need to check their web history, texts or emails. When they are not home you feel the need to verify their whereabouts.

You feel you don’t truly know how to make your partner happy. You try hard but nothing seems to work, at least not for long. You used to make them very happy and you are not sure what has changed.

Expressing negative thoughts and emotions feels restricted or even forbidden, so you try to keep all those things to yourself. You feel frustrated about not being able to talk about the things that are bothering you.

You don't feel good about yourself like you did before the relationship. You feel less confident, less secure, less intelligent, less sane, less trusting, less attractive or in some way “less than” you were before.

You always feel you are falling short of your partner's expectations. You feel inadequate.

You often feel guilty and find yourself apologizing a lot. You continually try to repair the damage you believe you have caused. You blame yourself for your partner pulling away from you. You can’t understand why you keep sabotaging the relationship.

You carefully control your words, actions, and emotions around your partner to keep them from withdrawing their affection again

At times you erupt like an emotional volcano filled with anger, frustration, and even hostility. You have never acted this way before and vow it will stop, but no matter how hard you try, it keeps happening.

You do things you are not really comfortable with or that go against your morals, values, limits or boundaries to make your partner happy and keep the relationship intact.

You feel your partner needs to dominate the relationship

You feel your partner does not understand your needs in the relationship.

You find yourself trying to explain basic human emotions and concepts to and adult. You feel the need to make them understand.

You feel your giving nature is being exploited or that you are being taken advantage of

You feel taken for granted

You feel you need them far more than they need you

You feel trapped with no clear way out.

You find yourself checking with your partner and unable to trust yourself or your judgment when making decisions.

You feel they have more control over your emotions and feelings than you do

You feel something bad will happen if you don’t do what they want

No matter how much you do for them they make you feel like you haven’t done enough.

They intimidate you with their mood or anger.

You feel you can’t do anything to change them

Even when you do please them it doesn’t last long

You feel you are working way harder at the relationship than they are.

Other Common symptoms and things to look for:

You find yourself isolated from friends and family and support to appease or please them.

You find yourself more and more emotionally dependent on them for validation.

You seem to be expected to do all the chores and housework/cooking

They want to be served

They are hypocrites

They won’t apologize or accept accountability. For those variants that can, it is very infrequent and you have a hard time accepting it because it does not feel sincere (because it isn’t).

Their actions don’t match their words

The same problems come up over and over. It goes in circles. Nothing is ever resolved or forgiven

They act differently around others than with you. Like two different people.

They treat you like a child.

At the beginning of the relationship you were never apart, and you felt they were your “soul mate”

You are constantly drained and exhausted

Trauma Bonded

You find yourself putting up with things you never would have in any other relationship but cannot detach or leave and so find yourself unable to hold your boundaries so they stampede over them and chip away at them.

In other words, you are addicted and trauma bonded. You can answer yes to the questions I went over in this answer:

William Gorder's answer to How can you tell if you are trauma bonded to your Narcissist?

PTSD/CPTSD

You are suffering for the symptoms PTSD or CPTSD that I covered in this answer:

William Gorder's answer to What are the symptoms of PTSD when healing from narcissistic abuse?

You feel an “Intense” love or chemistry with them, that keeps you from leaving.

You have confused love/intimacy with addiction/intensity/abuse.

Check this answer here:

William Gorder's answer to How can you tell the difference between a traumatic bond and being in love with a narcissist?

You find yourself implementing defense mechanisms like:

Cognitive Dissonance:

Through your unconscious mind, you justify doing things you otherwise would have considered wrong, make something seem more or less important than it really is, create new reasons for doing something that goes against better judgment and denies, ignores or avoids information that conflicts with already accepted beliefs. This is a defense mechanism for handling trauma to cope with restoring some semblance of equilibrium to your life.

Magical Thinking and Pollyannaism

Despite rationale or evidence to the contrary, your naive childlike mind wishes to have a happy ending so you find yourself thinking things like:

There must be some good in them, nobody is all bad

They cannot possibly be that manipulative

They are just a product of their upbringing

They can change

If I love them better it will get better

They don’t want to hurt me, they just need help

They didn’t mean it

Things will get better

You show symptoms of NVS (Narcissistic Victim Syndrome). Some of these may not manifest as noticeably until discard.

William Gorder's answer to How do CPTSD and Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome differ? Also, how do their treatment options differ?

I think this answer has gotten long enough. Thanks for the A2A

#narcissistic abuse #narcissistic personality disorder #surviving narcissism #npdawareness #npd abuse #addictsinrecovery #wedorecover #bpd abuse #living with bpd #bpd blog #bpd awareness #bpdawareness

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livingsober · 2 years

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The 12 Fucking Steps

Step 1: I’m fucked

Step 2: There might be a way out of this fucking mess

Step 3: Decide to level the fuck up

Step 4: Take a good hard look at how fucked up I am

Step 5: Tell someone else about all the fucked up stuff I’ve been through

Step 6: Prepare to stop being such a fuck up

Step 7: Try to stop acting so fucked up

Step 8: Make a list of everyone I fucked over

Step 9: Swallow my fucking pride and tell them I really fucked up, except when doing so would fuck them harder.

Step 10: Keep an eye on my fucked up thinking and behavior

Step 11: Chill the fuck out sometimes

Step 12: Help the next poor fucker that walks through the door

#wedorecover #recoveryhumor #addiction #sobriety #self acceptance #addiction recovery #12 steps #annonymous #rehabilitation #recoveryispossible #self love #cleanandsober #soberissexy #soberisbetter #mentalhealthmatters #wellness #lifestyle #sobermovement

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kittenzeke · 3 months

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I'm really excited for this upcoming milestone. Not even sure what to say about it yet!

#journal #personal #pic #screenshots #alcoholic #wedorecover

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sobertribevibe · 10 months

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Reclaiming Life: Phoenix Rising

When a person reaches rock bottom, it can be an intimidating and hopeless experience. In this point, it may appear as though all hope is lost. At that very instant, one feels the crushing weight of hopelessness and the utter lack of a purpose in life. In spite of this, the seeds of resiliency and resolve are planted deep within the depths of this darkness. An inner spark that flickers and refuses to be extinguished is present at the beginning of the road toward recovering one's life. Strength and the desire to persevere through difficult times are formed in the fires of adversity and suffering. The fragments of a once-shattered existence start to come back together with each new step forward, resulting in the creation of a mosaic of newly gained insight and self-discovery. It is a demonstration of the tenacious spirit that lies within them, a demonstration that the storms of life may bend them but cannot break them. And so it is that, from the ashes of the absolute lowest point, a phoenix arises, soaring higher than it ever has before, regaining life with a renewed vigor and a great respect for the path that lies ahead.

It —Crissy Sinopole

#recovery #sober journey #clean and sober #recovering #recovering addict #soberaf #soberlife #sobermotivation #addiction #rise up #resilence #reclaimed #recoveryispossible #wedorecover #strength

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emoreality · 11 months

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On june 2, 2023 I hit one year sober. We do recover. You can make it, too

#soberaf #sobercommunity #sober journey #soberiety #soberliving #i am sober #living sober #clean and sober #wedorecover #alcohlism #alcoholics anonymous

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gigi-is-broken · 1 year

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Love letters to my depression.

You and I have been together for so long now. I am sure you will never leave me. We've been together for more than forty years, and we have been through some shit. For now I'm just gonna talk about this century. Who knows, maybe I'll feel like talking about the last century later on. I'm going to try everyday to write about something and how I did or didn't really get through it. Talk about self medication. For me, it was opiates. That blessed numbness that overrides your emotions. Hopefully this will be therapeutic for me and maybe helpful to someone else who may be struggling.

#suicideawarness #depressionsucks #lonlely #love letters #wedorecover #addiction #opiaddict #ptsd #ptsd recovery #trauma #lifestyle #second life #healing journey #heroin addict #surviver #journal

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lucydloserz · 11 months

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You shattered me

But I'm not broken

Tried drowning me

But I am floating

You took my voice

But now I scream

You blinded me

But now I see

I see without me

You are useless

The scars aren't healed

But no more bruises

#thoughts #words #writing #quotes #dark poetry #poetry #poet #poem #writers #write #recovery #heroin #addiction #wedorecover #writers and poets #writerscorner #shutitlucy

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borderlining · 11 months

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I often wonder if I couldn't dance,

Would the devil of offered me his hand

In the first place?

-Swept off my feet

JG

#addiction #recovery #wedorecover #soberiety #poetry

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thegratefulnuts · 1 year

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** New Blog Post **

They say "Relapse is part of recovery", but what if it doesn't have to be?

What causes a relapse? Is it a sudden event

or a process? Can we control what happens before, during, or after a relapse?

Join this Grateful Nut as she shares all about

relapse, how to avoid it, and how to recognize the signs before it's too late!

Find the full article at thegratefulnuts.com

We'd love to see more engagement beneath each blog post on the site. If you would be

so kind to leave a like, a comment, or even use the share buttons to invite others toread a post from the blog we'd greatly appreciate it!

https://thegratefulnuts.com/think-beyond-the-buzz/

#drug relapse #relapse prevention #sobercommunity #sobriety #addiction recovery #sober #recovering alcoholic #sobermotivation #recovery blog #alcoholics anonymous #friendsofbillw #wedorecover #recoveryjourney #sober journey

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injected-heroin · 1 year

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it’s so fucking crazy to me that i have 2 years without getting loaded. i almost relapsed in January, had a shot made up and stuck myself but didn’t do it cause my ex was in the car & i knew she would tell my job and my life would fall apart. it’s even more insane that i work for the fucking state & my employer and coworkers all trust me. i rent a place in my name & bought a car recently. i’ll be a junkie til i take my last breath but i’m not actively engaging in that and sometimes it just feels like a dream.

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talktoangel2 · 1 year

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Top 10 Internet Addiction Tips

Well, here are some recommendations for preventing internet addiction:

1. Have clear goals: Decide what you want to get out of using the internet and make clear goals for yourself. You can stay focused and avoid mindless browsing by doing this.

2. Set a timer: When you are using the internet, set a timer. When it goes off, take a break and do something else. You'll be able to better organise your time and use the internet less frequently as a result.

3. Establish a schedule: Designate particular periods of the day for internet use and follow it. This will assist you in establishing a regimen and lessen the possibility of excessive use.

5. Maintain a log: Record your internet usage and record your mood before and after. You'll be able to see trends and triggers as well as create healthy habits as a result.

6. Exercise self-care: Make sure you are taking care of your mental and physical health. Get a healthy diet, get enough sleep, and engage in fun hobbies.

7. Restrict access: Take internet-capable devices out of your bedroom and other common spaces. This will make it easier for you to resist the urge to use the internet excessively.

8. Locate substitute activities: Choose other things you like to do and schedule time for them. You'll be able to break old habits and use the internet less as a result.

Use apps: Use apps that help you manage your internet use, such as timers, blocking tools, and activity trackers.

9. Get assistance: Discuss your internet use with friends, family, or a mental health professional. When you attempt to overcome your addiction, they can offer support and direction.

10. Take a break: If only for a day or two, think about taking a complete break from the internet. You can reset as a result and create better habits going forward.

Talk to Angel is an online platform that helps individuals struggling with addiction. It provides a safe and secure environment for people to talk about their struggles and receive support from professionals. The platform offers a range of services, including one-on-one counseling sessions, group therapy, and relapse prevention programs. Talk to Angel also provides resources such as articles, blogs, and videos that help individuals understand the root causes of their addiction and how they can cope with it. In addition, the platform also connects users with support groups in their local area so they can find help close to home. With its comprehensive services and resources, Talk to Angel is a valuable tool for anyone seeking help for addiction.

https://www.talktoangel.com/area-of-expertise/addiction

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bonecavities · 1 year

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wind howling and clouds frowning. the abyss is a black pit growling. my nails are breaking as i climb this mountain. i will survive this drowning. I cannot grow unless I throw myself into the dirt; then my garden grows. I sprout and bloom in the full moon. oh, how do my petals come into view. I am brand new in this world. colors surrounding and darkness no longer has its host. - RL

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livingsober · 2 years

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#addiction #wedorecover #recovery #soberissexy #recoveryhumor #cleanandsober #soberhumor #recovery humor #funny

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