#we're more worried about Taimi

[daekie-gw2]

Your IBS/SoTO post is really good and I would love to hear your opinions about asura writing that got cut for time

OH, UH, OKAY. SURE. Disclaimer that a lot of the thoughts here I picked up from my friend @ratasum. (I honestly didn't expect that IBS/SotO post to get read by anyone so waking up & seeing it appears to have gotten onto the main 'circulating' version of the post and having people agree with me is a little wild, haha.)

As always, cut for length, I've never said in five words what I could say in twenty and trust me I've tried.

"Surely it can't be that long--"

I know. I'm a parody of myself. I'm sorry. Just like you cannot blame the scorpion for what is in its nature you cannot blame me for writing five and a half thousand words on funny goblin rat video game narrative.

ANYWAY. [CRACKING KNUCKLES] THE ASURA

OKAY. THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-POINT -- I'm not going to call it an essay. It's not an essay. That implies a level of organization going in that there isn't, I'm slapping points in as I recall them (I am going to cite my sources, though). But there's a lot of miscellaneous things I'm going into here. Also this is shorter than it could be because I wrote a big chunk of it right after getting home from work, got distracted by making Limbus Company OC IDs for hours, and by the point I rotated back I was getting worried something would happen and I'd lose this post.

You may be able to tell which points I wrote later because I get progressively less informative and more AGGRESSIVELY WAVING MY HANDS.

EDIT THE NEXT MORNING: Added more stuff into Point B that I didn't realize I skipped over, my kingdom for a table of contents

Point A: "The current writers don't like the asura."

When was the last time you heard any character talk about asura tech or society in a way that wasn't derogatory? Just in SotO alone, from my memory and some very shallow wiki checks, we have:

Uenno: But we're... stubborn, our kind. Bureaucratic. It's all so stifling. Uenno: Zojja and I had the same realization. Expecting satisfaction from that city is like expecting a skritt to win the Snaff Prize.

...and, from Zojja's Journal:

Before I left Rata Sum, they considered me a battery without any juice. Well, I feel the same about them. ... The technological advancement of this place is far beyond Rata Sum. Seeing this would give the Arcane Council a run for their money... I bet they lost it after Cantha opened its borders. What I'd do to be a fly on that wall... ... If the council learned about any of this, ESPECIALLY the wizards' ability to create fractals, they'd try to quarantine the entire region. Rip it apart, piece by piece.

...and, from Zojja's journal from Tower of Secrets:

The council is too scared to put me back on fieldwork, and the colleges seem less than interested in having me teach. No talks. Nothing. Past my prime, apparently. Send me straight to the retirement facility. ... She used to be a professor in the colleges, but she left after years and years of frustration with the system. Students set up for failure, refusal to grow or expand (sound familiar...?).

Now take a quick jaunt to the wiki's summary of asura culture:

The asura value intelligence and intellectual superiority over all other attributes. Individual asura will dedicate an entire lifespan to building a portfolio of successful projects or becoming the foremost expert of some tiny aspect of the arcane. They constantly seek to prove their own intellectual superiority, and by extension the superiority of the asura race.

The writers are really trying to tell me that Zojja was damaged goods post-Heart of Thorns, but, like. She was one of the foremost geniuses in Asuran society and one of the two surviving students of the genius Snaff (or one, if you count us killing Kudu in Crucible of Eternity). She is the absolute foremost expert on Elder Dragons (Taimi wasn't this until LWS4ish, imo), was directly involved with the Pact offensive on the Heart of Maguuma, and has a "connection" (I'm not going to say friendship but yknow.) with the Sylvari who stole Glint's egg. And you want to tell me nobody would want to hear from her because she was disabled? They'd be breaking down her door to get her to teach.

I feel like a lot of this perception comes from Phlunt's overbearing smothering of Taimi getting spotlit during LWS3, but Phlunt is an obstructive, small-minded bureaucrat, even by Arcane Council standards; he doesn't want to be there, he sure as hell doesn't want to be busy chaperoning a twelve-year-old with polio in his "free time", and if he dissuades her from doing anything then he can kick back and relax. His chaperoning is not a microcosm of All Asuran Society's Relationship To Solo Geniuses Who Are On The Younger Side (afaik he was also supposed to be Inquest anyway, so that probably bleeds into some of it). Take a quick walk around Metrica Province or listen to ambient dialogue in Rata Sum! Even taking into account comments about bureaucrats in ambient lore in Rata Novus, which makes it a cultural thing, I honestly still don't really see what that would have to do with 'Zojja would be a pariah'. The fuck she would. I would excuse the Zojja diaries if it was Zojja is completely shutting herself away from Rata Sum society and convincing herself they don't want her, but it's... it's not! It's 'Rata Sum threw Zojja out with the bathwater'! In what world!!!!

EoD (I go into this a couple of points down the post) is also just like a conga line of asura going WOW CANTHA IS SO ADVANCED WE'RE SO BACKWARDS and it just feels baaaaaaad.

Point B: "Since LWS4, it seems like nobody on the writing team has really actually understood the asura, and they're either written as 'basically children' or 'crazy comedy gremlins'."

When was the last time we got an asura NPC who was, you know, actually involved in asura society or had asuran attitudes? Professor Smoll from April Fools doesn't count, don't give me that. Uenno in SotO only really talks about asura society to comment about how backwards it is/was compared to the Astral Ward's tech/setup, and although the Inquest are a genuine threat... since LWS4, when was the last time the game actually remembered that? They're cartoon goons.

(The Arcane Council is actually really interesting, too! Their job is to deal with all the mundane shit and bureaucratic matters and City Things, and nobody wants to do it, to the point it's common to trick others into accidentally taking the job or replacing you so you can quit. They sometimes try to kill each other. The Inquest is considered a bunch of criminal assholes by the average asura, but they're pretty distinctly a tool of the Arcane Council who uses them to work on projects that might be 'unsavory'.)

I'm not saying the asura aren't funny. They are. Even at GW2's launch, they were smack-talking little gremlins -- but they weren't comic relief. And I'm not saying everything Angel McCoy ever said was right (I am refusing to read the interview where she says cells don't exist on Tyria and everything is made of magic <3) but they're snarky little shits. Back in GW1 they were partially Invader Zim references. Asura are researchers and, I'm gonna say it, sapiosexuals first and foremost -- they're monogamists in the sense that romantic relationships are often between two asura fixated on the same idea.

ANYWAY. Asura are weird freaks and they're kind of memey little bastards about it but they're also insanely intense SCIENCE bastards, who prize being an asshole. During LWS4 the Inquest had live samples of the fucking scarab plague, were experimenting on the Olmakhan with it -- they're a genuine danger. The Inquest can be both funny Team Rocket villains and genuine threats due to their lack of morals!! They can be both!!

But what they're reduced to these days is... they're either childlike and need care (Dagda calling Zojja little one would be fine on its own, but combined with everything else...) or they're just Haha Funny Quip Guys. They're not dicks anymore. When was the last time an asura was an asshole to you in a way that wasn't immediately condemned by the story/narrative as them being an unreasonable small-minded jerk? I don't even necessarily think Arenanet has ever had a real consensus on how to write them, but there's enough content from basegame to LWS4 where you can absolutely write them with just as much... genuineness? not seriousness, but, yknow? as the sylvari or the norn. Like -- imagine if every sylvari we met was either a wide-eyed innocent or a Nightmare Court irredeemable asshole who was torturing babies and cackling about it. If every norn we met was a one-note jovial party drunk or a Son of Svanir who just went JORMAG JORMAG JORMAG.

That's what it feels like has happened to the asura.

Everything in this section from here on until Point C starts is a lot of really misc. disjointed thoughts but I couldn't make them work anywhere else and they seemed relevant still, so. Sorry. You get what you pay for.

...circa End of Dragons --

Taimi: Yes! Xunlai has an entire MedTech division. They make braces for conditions like mine. Taimi: They're incredible. I feel almost no pain when I'm wearing them.

I can buy that asura don't really have a lot of development into assistive devices as a whole because they're generally all pretty self-focused, but there's gotta be a krewe somewhere that's got physically disabled asura, right?

In Icebrood Saga, Phlunt and Taimi's focus during Champions on fighting Primordus -- even if they have to ally with Jormag to do it -- is kind of portrayed as... petulant? Ignorant? But, like, it is very reasonable to say that asura are culturally traumatized, I'd say. Their entire culture and people, over the course of fifty years, were pushed into involuntary migration from their home and into a completely new environment. If the Kodan are traumatized by doing the exact same thing but due to Jormag and that's taken fairly seriously, especially in Bjora Marches. The writing is bad here! Champions struggles a lot on a lot of fronts, and I know it's because that was because a huge chunk of the devs abruptly got dragged off to go make EoD, but they could've at least left someone senior to handle narrative and I don't think they did.

(That honestly ties into a bigger frustration, which is that for a season/expansion where we take care of the Asura-associated dragon and the Norn-associated dragon once and for all, it sure is about Charr. I don't think this is what they meant to do going in! I think the writers meant to have you deal with Jormag in the next season/expansion, and have them be an everpresent force puppeting people around who you never actually fought in Icebrood Saga. Fuck, I don't think you were even supposed to encounter Primordus here, it's not called the Fire and Ice Saga. But the mandate? orders? came down, and suddenly they had to figure out how to get rid of both twin dragons by the end of the season, and they didn't have enough space left to change direction from the charr (who did actually get some great narrative here, I think that was at least preserved).

Point C: "Existing content from LWS4 and earlier establishes that asura tech is extremely advanced."

Anyway I think EoD was generally pretty cool, but I also think they got very worried about potentially making Cantha come off as 'less advanced' than the asura and unintentionally seeming racist in that way, and they swung real fucking hard in the opposite direction. (If anything they probably would be further advanced than Cantha, though -- they were using dragon-magic to power their waypoints & cities back during GW1, and swapped to independent? ambient? magic when the Great Destroyer awakened & pushed a lot of them to the surface. I personally would've gone for the idea that it's deeply impressive that humans, alone, have created something on par with but not better than asuran tech, especially when using a powersource that the asura historically never got as far as the Canthans with.) Asuratech created fractals and a device that could completely destabilize fractals in order to fish up real entities stuck in them (I expand on this further down on my last point).

Moto built an entire fucking immersive videogame with a hammerspace teleporter.

Rata Primus in Sandswept Isles in LWS4 has a satellite dish, implying they've gotten asuratech into orbit.

Asura have had holograms and solid light for ages -- they were developing immersive VR all the way back in Rata Novus. Oola has a hologram. There's multiple hero points where you fight hardlight projections. What Do You Think The SAB Weapon Skins Are.

They're experimenting with radiation.

They have elevators.

They have televisions.

They have sous vide!

They've got holo-clipboards!!

Okay yeah sure it's one random throwaway line from a miscellaneous Rata Sum NPC but THEY HAVE NEWSCASTS, this guy's probably been here since the game RELEASED

HOLOGRAMS

Blish uploaded himself into a golem and he's just Like that now!!!

What the Canthans and especially Joon are doing with jadetech is incredible! But asura tech is not inferior to it. You could say 'dragonjade carries incredible magical power because Soo-Won is awake and actively filtering her power to create it, as opposed to the GW1 asura skimming some off the top of Primordus' and I'd go yeah, okay, that sounds completely fair. Joon having tech that can evaluate the drained Aurene? This makes sense! She's been directly interfacing with Soo-Won's magic for years and probably has a better understanding of the biology and process of Elder Dragons + how their magic works within their body than anyone else alive, including Aurene! If anything, her dragonjade could well be tapping directly into Soo-Won's domains of Water and Life, making dragonjade tech especially good for healing or creating assistive devices. You could potentially insinuate this, but I really don't think the game actually ever says this, so I don't know if I want to give it credit for that. (In fact, the game specifically says that the magic in dragonjade is stripped of all signatures, it's pure dragon magic, so really it says the exact opposite of 'Soo-Won's connection to her domains is so powerful that she infuses the jade she empowers with their essence').

Ankka's stolen Extractor even has a note on its wiki page that it acts similarly to existing asuratech from basegame personal story -- just scaled far, far up. It's not new tech! They've had this, just weaker!

ALSO SNARGLE'S AGENT SAYS ASURA DON'T HAVE, LIKE. VIDEO GAMES? MOVIES? MOVING PICTURES OF ANY KIND? YOUUUUUU HAVE HAD HOLOGRAMS FOR HUNDREDS OF YEAAAAARRRRS. HE'S LITERALLY PUBLISHING SUPER ADVENTURE BOX THE NOVEL. WHAT DO YOU THINK SUPER ADVENTURE BOX IS, LITTLE MAN

Kippo: You bet. But that's not all! D'you know Cantha's living in the future while the rest of us mopes are still eating dirt? Kippo: That's coming from an asura. They watch theater projected from their jade technology. Moving pictures! Kippo: I want K&M at the forefront of new media. Cause pretty soon, ain't nobody gonna be readin' books. Kippo: Maybe one day, the audience could even control these move-ies. An interactive experience. Feel like you're really there!

I hate this guy

Point D: "Gorrik and Taimi have both basically undergone character assassination over the years and had all their edges smoothed off, and SotO Zojja is Zojja in name (and voice actor) only."

LWS1 Taimi was such a fucking brat. Precocious, sure! But she was an asshole of a child who was constantly chafing against any adult in the vicinity and idolized Scarlet Briar. She was a deeply lonely girl who only had Zojja and she was kind of shitty! She was awful to Braham! And, like, I will repeat this again, she idolized Scarlet, the insane mass-murdering terrorist who poisoned and destroyed the entirety of Lion's Arch.

She was a kid. She was a brilliant, lonely kid, and she sucked as a person. After HoT, Zojja is basically comatose, and Taimi decides she has to step up as the Commander's asura tech expert, to prove that she's not just a child who has to be corralled, she's just as much a part of this as you are. And the way she tried to prove herself was by taking on as much responsibility as people would let her, and even some they wouldn't, and she kept being brilliant and she had to keep improving and improving and why didn't Rata Sum see she wasn't a child, and you never realized that maybe she was taking on too much because you didn't have anyone else who could do this research, and she was keeping all her vulnerability to herself -- because if she told you you'd tell her to stop and rest. Everyone would. And she needed to keep proving herself and being the best, the smartest, indispensable to Dragon's Watch,

and eventually it got her caught by Joko. He doesn't torture her, exactly. He traps her in her own assistive device, with limited air and no control, and then he sets Scruffy on you, and this teenage girl has to watch her only safe haven try to kill the only person who can save her as she slowly suffocates to death.

And she's fucking traumatized. And she's trying to put on a brave face but it really, really fucks her up. No time to cry. She has to be helpful, and useful, and if you make her go lie down and rest she's going to fucking scream. The key of Taimi, to me, is that in a lot of ways Zojja probably saw herself in her? An incredibly brilliant and desperately lonely child with nobody to advocate for her, turning all that frustration at her life and herself right back out at the world. If she never shows weakness and if she can be just as rough and tumble as the adults, they'll see she's not a baby. She's not a poor sick victim who needs to be protected.

She's Zojja's protege and Zojja was Snaff's protege and, like -- Zojja is not that old. She's maybe ten, fifteen years older than Taimi? No more than fifteen, I'd say. She's barely an adult when Snaff dies, and she has to be everything Snaff was and more. Zojja remembers what Snaff was for her, and she sees this impossibly smart progeny girl, and she thinks to herself Snaff was my lifeline out of that. and she's that for her.

And then she kind of sucks at it because she's Zojja and she's really not very good at communication that isn't her being a bitch, but, like, she was trying, probably. And Taimi was-is just as attached to her as Zojja was to Snaff.

But Taimi, unlike Zojja at that age, isn't alone. She has Zojja. She has everyone in Dragon's Watch. She has people who take her seriously and believe in her, and her greatest enemy is herself. The older she gets the more she levels out -- partially from the trauma but partially because she's just... growing up! She's still kind of a jerk, she's an asura and she knows she's the smartest person in the room most of the time, but especially when compared to Gorrik (who is admittedly amoral even for an asura), she's got a conscience. She's a firebrand of a girl who pushes herself too hard and she ribs you when you take yourself too seriously, because you've seen her at her most vulnerable, and she knows how hard you take it when you fuck up.

And she's your friend. She's a bitch but like the rest of Dragon's Watch she's your friend.

And by the point of EoD, all that assholery she was capable of has been shifted over to Ankka (who exists to die, unfortunately), and she has now been fully transformed into The Commander's Tech Support Who Says Funny Things And Listens In On Your Conversations. There's no bite to her. There is nothing uniquely Taimi about her anymore.

I wasn't a big fan of her losing Scruffy 2.0 either -- it feels like they were trying to go she's all grown up now, she doesn't need her security blanket anymore! but, like. She has an incurable degenerative disease. That was her assistive device who just also had a personality? Give her a hoverchair or a cane or something. They eventually gave her leg braces in EoD, which I think is fine and honestly works really well (& I wish we'd gotten to see her talking more with Joon and Yao about tech than we did), but. Mmm. It felt weird, you know?

-- ANYWAY BEFORE I MOVE ONTO GORRIK. I do want to touch base with Champions, because Champions was really where they started flanderizing her the most notably. It is completely reasonable that she suggests siding with Jormag, honestly, reasonable in a way the game doesn't treat it as and neither does the Commander, because she's kind of selfish! Jormag? Who cares? She hasn't been really dealing with the rest of the Icebrood Saga so far the way you and Braham have, she just sees 'Jormag's willing to work with us to kill Primordus and hasn't caused mass horrific destruction, they're a completely sentient person'. She sees a solution to a problem and she wants it now, you can talk about Jormag later, her entire race had to diaspora because of this thing and she was there the last time it almost woke up and things got really, really bad after that, what with Balthazar. Jormag is a problem, yeah! But they're not a problem that's hurt her. They're a problem she can look at and understand and speak to. Primordus? Primordus is a monster. It's a natural disaster. You can't convince Primordus to hold off on killing people, it's just what he does. But she can make a deal with Jormag to stay away from these people, maybe, and Taimi even now thinks she's the fucking shit and she's smarter than she is, and she thinks she can outwit Jormag.

Champions could've been a really interesting look at Braham and Taimi basically trying to kill each other because they both have incredible cultural trauma layered on top of personal experiences that means they can't even consider not killing that specific dragon so super dead as a first course of action, and neither of them would be wrong about feeling that way, because if you haven't forgotten -- Taimi is barely an adult at this point, if she is at all, and Braham was a teenager during LWS1 and HoT. He's barely an adult either in the grand scheme of things! A scenario where both dragons are represented by one of your friends would've been really, really cool, and the challenge is 'how do we fix this without the dragons going out of balance'. And It Was Not That At All In Any Way.

I actually had this idea as I was writing this post but, like. Man. I understand the point of Ryland, Champion of Jormag, but I would've loved to see Jormag really gaslighting the hell out of Taimi and convincing her she's just as special as he is. She deserves special power and she understands Jormag, she's so clever -- just that slow horrible corruption through persuasion, through appealing to her pride. That's the asura cultural flaw! They know they're smarter than everyone else! Play to that.

This is partially because IN THE MEANTIME, FIRE ALARM makes me want to punch a table. I hate that voiceline. I hear it so much. Dragonstorm, why.

ANYWAY -- LWS4 Gorrik was barely ex-Inquest. Bioterrorist weirdo. The most autistic man in the world (love him for this). His argument against 'YOU WERE EXPERIMENTING ON THE OLMAKHAN WITH THE SCARAB PLAGUE?' is just 'I didn't vote for it but the results are FASCINATING also btw it's actually a pestilence, not a plague--'. His morals are entirely about what will let him do the most Bug Science. Sure, the Scarab Plague is one of the most horrifying contagions in history, but he is a scarab expert and he could infodump on this shit for HOURS. Do you remember that time he got arrested for bioterrorism after exposing himself to said plague, and his main concerns are 'people calling it a plague, not a pestilence' when they want his fucking head? Even when you get him out he just goes 'am I supposed to anticipate the neuroses of everyone around me?? Them freaking out was totally unreasonable'. Yeah, man, the fucking Elonians losing it about the potential of the Scarab Plague coming back is an unreasonable hysterical reaction. He doesn't care about people! He only cares about bugs! (This is an exaggeration but you get what I mean.)

The Commander: Joko intercepted the ship. Exposed all the crew and passengers to the Scarab Plague. Gorrik: Oh my, my, my—a full-spectrum outbreak! This is incredible! Taimi: Gorrik... Gorrik: Oh, right. Sorry. Tragedy. Terrible.

He's a freak! He's a freak of a man! I love him! COMMANDER HOLY FUCK DID YOU SAY CHAK from Jahai Bluffs lives in my heart. Weirdo guy. Incubated the roller beetle in his own body under his skin just because he thought it'd be cool. He never really grows a conscience even after Blish's death, because that's not who he is, that's not how he perceives and interacts with the world. He has a completely different perspective from you, and his priorities and predilections make him an impossibly brilliant scientist... who should probably not be allowed to talk to anyone he doesn't already know ever again.

Now circa EoD he's... what? What is he? Haha he's funny detective guy who can't read social cues and is dragging Rama into things. Oh, I guess he's an asura, so sometimes he says tech things. They have removed this man's deep freak nature from him :( The man I knew would've been out there doing fieldwork and dissecting void creatures yesterday. He would've been fascinated by the Dragonvoid glitching reality! Sorry, no, he doesn't do that anymore, he's just Funny Detective Guy, sometimes he does science things with jade tech because Rama is around and that means Gorrik is also there because he's Those Two Guys with Rama now. Sure. I like their dynamic but man did things happen to Gorrik to get there. I wish it could've been Very Normal Man Rama and a little goblin man who has decided Rama is his bestie.

(Also I'm deeply weirded out by the narrative pushing TAIMI IS AN ADULT NOW SO SHE'S GOING TO DATE GORRIK BECAUSE ADULTS GET IN RELATIONSHIPS unironically. I really do think the writers have forgotten there's like... a 15 year age gap between them and just remembered 'Gorrik's brother was Taimi's classmate, and he was close? in age to his brother, probably?, so it's fine' he's like 30, man. And if Taimi/Gorrik didn't feel so slapped together and like a way to pair them up so they're busy with each other and no longer narratively relevant outside of Tech Support, maybe I would be less bitchy! But I really don't like them symbolizing 'Taimi's not a little girl anymore, she's all grown up now!' by having her immediately display romantic interest in a guy who, like. You cannot tell me Gorrik fucks. I love him but I don't think he has ever contemplated fucking as a thing he would do.

They're research partners! They're good friends! But they are absolutely not in a romantic or sexual relationship. I don't believe it.)

Zojja... god, they did that woman dirty in SotO. They did her so dirty. I talked in my original post about how her narrative role here is actively sabotaged by it being Zojja and Caithe (or even Logan!) would've done it better, and I'm sticking to that. Anyway, the Tower of Secrets story summary includes:

I've never seen her out of her element or so unsure of herself; I'm used to the hypercompetent and defiantly confident golemancer of legend. This is an entirely new side.

Even taking into account the idea SotO wants us to accept that she's gone through character development offscreen and a full arc, Zojja would never. Zojja gets fucking mean when she's stressed or unsure, and even if it's been years and she's grown past that... she's still not going to wibble about it. This is part of the big problem with her writing, even in the base content for SotO: Zojja is very, very passive. She's nice, even! She mediates between you! She's your good friend Zojja (even though she was maybe friends with an asuran Commander, and she sure as hell was not making friendship bracelets with any other Commanders and wouldn't go YOU'LL FIX EVERYTHING :D after not having seen you for ten years). ...But asura in general, and especially Zojja, have a chip on their shoulder and they will prove themselves. There are ways they could've shown Zojja growing past that asuran cultural selfishness by really listening to and cooperating with other people -- the way they did it isn't that. I'm gonna call back to that Angel McCoy interview I linked earlier:

Sit back and watch the sass fly! A side effect of asuran intelligence and self-confidence is that they’re masters of the zinger. They don’t suffer fools lightly and don’t believe in sparing feelings. Workers expect to get snide comments from their krewe bosses, and progeny expect it from their parents. Teen asura, of course, give it back as good as they get it—it’s part of growing up. This verbal abuse may seem mean-spirited, but the asura don’t see it that way. They don’t take it personally. Their competitive natures drive them to greater heights of achievement. Remember, asura have survived against terrible odds, including their tiny statures. They’ve earned their attitudes, and a certain amount of bravado keeps them from being victims. With their jibes, they’re telling it like they see it, and if you can’t take the heat, get out of the laboratory.

Yes, this is asura overall, their cultural standards, but everyone in Destiny's Edge is/was -- to some degree -- a prototypical example of their race. And beloved Zojja was a prickly son of a bitch if you weren't the asura commander. She would never wibble. I really, really do think they gave her amnesia via wizardification so they can justify both 1. her never referencing your past adventures and 2. doing a bit of moeblobification. It's not gap moe if she doesn't have moments of being a bitch, Arenanet, it's just sparkling woobification.

They can have her talk about 'I used to be so mad at everyone' but there's a point where it's not 'reasonable offscreen character development', it's 'the writers telling us ACTUALLY it's lore-justified why she's written this way now, and she's telling you it, so she's a reliable narrator'. Zojja would be a completely unreliable narrator!! She's a bitch!! Like I said in the Taimi section, there are ways to write a character growing past being a total horrific bitch in ways that make sense! This isn't it.

This dialogue actually really frustrates me more than anything because it wants you to just... accept that nobody went looking for her, and that she didn't ever reach out because she didn't feel worthy of us. Nobody went looking? Not us, not anyone in Destiny's Edge, not anyone noteworthy in Rata Sum who would've cared about Snaff's brilliant progeny-cum-legacy and perhaps the best Dragon specialist in the world going completely off the grid and disappearing? And not even Taimi, an orphan whose mentor figure Zojja was so horrifically harmed in Maguuma that she was basically comatose. That Taimi? That Taimi would've only checked in on Zojja when she was in hospital, would've let Zojja turn her away when she wasn't ready for visitors, and wouldn't have looked for her or told anyone she was missing, not even the Commander? (okay she told us once but it was kind of a casual throwaway line. i don't count it.) Not only is it shoddy writing, it makes the Commander, Taimi, and all of Zojja's guildmates look like horrible people. We didn't check on you because the writers wrote you out of the narrative, girl.

Also Zojja doesn't say a single fucking thing about Snaff relating to Mabon at any point. A mentor who saw her for her and took her in and gave her a home? A father figure? This part does drive me insane actually because given SotO's writing I don't think they even thought about it. I don't think they meant to imply that she's basically having flashbacks to Snaff's death and that's why she flips out so badly at Mabon getting possessed and dying. I really don't think they did.

"But c'mon! Make a life-changing decision just after Mabon died? If it came from anyone but Dagda, it'd be emotional warfare." IT LITERALLY IS. IT'S LITERALLY EMOTIONAL WARFARE. THE GAME IS SO CLOSE TO POINTING OUT HOW CREEPY IT IS FOR DAGDA TO DO THIS, because with the base content drop for SotO they were at least partially interested in exploring the idea that the Astral Ward had a benevolent front but was ultimately culty and doing some horrible shit in the name of the ends justifying the means.

AND NOW SHE HAS AMNESIA AND WE SAW HER, LIKE, ONCE BEFORE WE WENT TO NAYOS. LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT OF HAVING HER IN THE STORY AT ALL. THIS COULD'VE BEEN A FRIENDLY LAMP. Coulda been DUCHESS CHRYSANTHEA or someshit. Faren!! I don't know!! It's 2:30 in the morning I'm very tired, this post isn't getting any proofreading it is going out as is.

Point E: "This is actually just about Fractals, sorry."

I know they were thinking about continuing the Arkk storyline at one point, apparently that was the original draft for Sunqua Peak. Dessa's implied to have some deep connection to Uncategorized, which is explicitly not Rata Sum. When some prerelease images mentioned 'fractal' in the URL for SotO and it was apparently going to be about the Mists I was like 'oh, shit, are we getting closure on Arkk'? He's out there!! In the Mists!! Where is our fucking boy!!! (He's nowhere, the current writers' room don't know he exists. :') )

The major interactions with the Mists are generally Asura-developed -- Dessa and her krewe developed fractals as we know them, 'capturing' these Mists-echoes and preventing them from dissolving (and she also 'studied' at Rata Sum (though it 'didn't work out'), implying to me she grew up somewhere else and moved to Rata Sum for college before dropping out). And then Arkk managed to somehow break into the Mists physically, disrupt your transportation back from one, mash several Fractals together, let Mist Beings into the Observatory,

It's implied (to me, anyway) that there is or was a real Dessa who created the Fractal Observatory and then... got out. She had a kid before making the Observatory -- Arkk mentions she looks very young during Shattered Observatory, she recognizes him, and she has some unspecified connection to the Raving Asura -- who has an unsent letter to her which makes her deeply sad to read, and, also, yknow. The kittycat golems. He could be Arkk's dad, is what I'm saying.). And never knew her fractal echo was trapped inside the Mists, repeating forever and forever and forever. And then she died, or she disappeared (maybe something happened when fractals-Dessa tried to leave during LWS1 and reset?), and Arkk found out that she was still in the Fractals, and he managed to destabilize the fucking Fractals in his attempt to rip in there and get her out.

And the version we meet of him in Shattered Observatory is just an echo, too, trapped in the loop forever and ever and ever. Maybe there is a real one out there -- or maybe the Mists destroyed that one as he tried to escape the Shattered Observatory, and the only versions of these two that exist are their shadows endlessly looping (which is honestly what We only exist in the Mists…echoes of ourselves. is meant to mean, but hey, it's not specific enough, I read it as 'the versions of ourselves that we are now aren't real. we're just shadows of our real selves, who aren't here any longer'). Fucked up, man. Anyway they should've made one of the archwizards in SotO an asura

Asura. They're little bastards. Love 'em. In my universe my asura druid Svess is holding Taimi's hand and talking her fucking head off about how to make nitroglycerin and they're having a GREAT time

#I'm not tagging this. #If you want to read my takes you gotta come for them manually. #It's 230 am I am so tired why did I write 5.4k words on asura

[ratasum]

In the aftermath of Update #4 of Sleuthing A Solution...

"Gorrik? Gorrik, are you in here?"

She had been away. Not that she really wanted to be; as krewe chief, she should have been there during any and all experiments done on the haze. But she'd needed to meet up with Taimi and Joon back in Seitung... and she had needed to see that doctor Rama had recommended.

Just in case.

But after checking in with Garrus to listen to an update of what was happening... she'd headed straight over to the lab, unsettled and a little bit annoyed.

"Gorrik, I know you're here!"

"Sorry-! Sorry, chief, was just in the other room waiting for a sample to rest-!" He almost skidded coming around the corner, giving her an awkward smile as he adjusted his jacket. "I didn't realize you were back! How did the trip to Seitung go? How's Taimi?"

Qirri gave him a look, taking off her coat to toss it over the back of a nearby chair. "She's doing okay. Staying with Joon is good for her; helps her rest. But that's not what I wanted-"

Not that Gorrik seemed ready to listen. "That's great! You know, you should consider that as an option as well. Being down in these caverns with all this haze can't possibly be good for the condition of your lungs and-"

"Gorrik what did we talk about before I left for Seitung?"

He paused at that, blinking his wide violet eyes at her, as if trying to play dumb. Finally, though, he cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his head. "...caution with the haze samples?"

Qirri immediately gestured towards the lab space at his words. "How did a kappa get in?!"

"I have to admit, I wasn't paying attention and they are very big. But it was only a small sample, and I only breathed in a little bit. Nothing you or the commander needs to worry about!"

"I'm going to worry regardless! That haze stuff is dangerous! You started to give us some information in your recording, but you have to give us more information about that-"

Gorrik gave her a sharp look, one that took her aback. She'd never seen him look like that, and her ears pulled back instinctively as he spoke. "Oh, like you're telling the commander about the blood? You're not doing a great job of hiding it! A bin full of bloody tissues is hard to miss."

Qirri's ears twitched, and she drew her shoulders in slightly. "It's not indicative of my condition worsening. I talked to Doctor Huang, like Rama suggested. My cough just got so bad from what... from what happened in the delve that it irritated the lining of my airways. That's what the blood was from."

"That's just it! You fuss at us about being more careful but you're coughing up blood, regardless of what caused it!" His shoulders tensed. "I can't watch you kill yourself like Blish did-"

That seemed to jerk him out of his tirade, and Gorrik sucked in a breath before glancing away. Qirri swallowed briefly, straightening. "...what did you see? When you breathed in that haze sample?"

He shook his head in response, not looking at her. "I don't want to talk about it. If you're not going to tell the commander about how bad your health is getting, I don't- let's just... can we drop it?"

"...if you promise to be more careful, so will I."

"I can't make any promises, chief. But I can at least promise to try? Just... please, you have to tell Garrus."

Qirri hesitated, tugging the end of one of her ears for a moment. "Once we've got all this sorted out. I've been doing a little better the longer we've been out of the haze anyway. But I... I promise I'll try."

"I guess that's the best either of us can do right now."

"We're doing our best. And that's the best anyone can do."

#bunny writing #qirri tinkerfirst #wlb spoilers #post eod spoilers

[adrisventari]

Since it's patch day, and I'm not gonna finish this in time, have a scene!!!

~

Coming to always made me feel like shit, especially when there was magic involved. So coming to after encountering, that, felt like a continuous gut punch on the way to consciousness. When I was finally able to open my eyes, the nausea came on. Rama’s stupid hat was obscuring the sun.

“Hey, you’re up! Do you… know who we are?”

Before I could dignify him with an answer, or a demand for a bucket, my head was seized by another familiar face. Gorrik, more panicked than usual, grabbing onto my horns.

“Look at me closely, Commander. Concentrate. Who am I? Take your time. You were extremely discombob–”

“I’m fine.” I tried to pull him off but the effort was futile, my arms were soft and effectively useless.

“I’m fine…?”

“I’m fine, GORRIK.” After hearing his name, he thankfully released my head, and heaved a sigh of relief.

“Thank the alchemy!” Yao shuffled into view, holding a large bowl. They promptly offered it in my direction. It smelled like tea, I took it.

“You had us worried. You were talking to us like we were...well, not us.”

It was strong tea, slightly sweet.

"Like we were, old friends." Gorrik was watching me intently, waiting for a response, but I finished the tea first.

"That demon was fucking with my head, made me think you were the dead." I set the bowl down next to me, feeling slightly less sucker punched. That got his attention again.

"Yes. I should've known as soon as it introduced those clones! It appears to be able to alter its victim's reality. Fascinating, and problematic-"

He was interrupted by a loud crack of static, the comms, getting signal again. Taimi's voice crackled through.

"Oh thank the Alchemy! I've been trying to reach you since Yao dropped everything and ran into that...hole. Joon is... She's…"

There was a shout in the background.

"Pissed!" Gehix.

"Well I was going to be more tactful about it, but she's-"

"Furious, I know. But we're making important discoveries down in this "hole." And if I have to upset Joon to save-"

My head hurt, and I was tired, again, always nowadays. Whatever that thing was had known just how to make me miserable, an Oni if Yao and Rama's mumblings were to be believed. I needed to understand it, learn more. Figure out how to make it miserable right back. I reached for a cigarette that wasn't there, forgetting I was clean, it had been almost a year. I internalized the groan, I wasn't in the mood for a lecture from Gehix about addictive habits on top of whatever lecture I was probably going to receive for this mess. I formulated an apology for saving Tyria for a decade straight, and the fact that I was not his cub, nor was I anyone's, to throw at him if he tried. I'm the fucking Commander, nobody lectures me anymore.

"It's going to be unpleasant. Especially for Ariaami, I wish there was another way." Gorrik again, I snapped back into reality at the sound of my name. "But that demon seemed particularly attracted to you. Fighting it will require neuro-parasitological investigation."

There was a beat of silence.

I didn't want to look at them again.

Another beat.

"Ariaami?" The voice was distorted, far away, I couldn't tell who it was.

Before I could focus, I retched. Should have gotten that damn bucket after all.

#writing #ariaami veilkeeper #gehix #going through the horrors #gw2

[queer-as-used-by-tolkien]

Siblings

I've made several posts about Blish's distinct older-brother vibe (which, come to think of it, is unique; we barely even have any other characters with siblings) and one or two headcanons from their childhoods and Blish kinda taking care of Gorrik.

But it works the other way, too; we're never told explicitly, but it's heavily hinted that Blish had a degenerative condition similar to Taimi, which is why he's inside a golem that Gorrik built. (I don't think his condition is identical to Taimi's, though; he's probably only a few years older than her, but he's already transitioned to living full-time as a machine. And Taimi had a period where her condition was in remission, we don't really know.)

And we all understand that Blish used to be an asura and we never treat him differently because of it (except at the very beginning, I remember some cringey dialogues). But Taimi needs Scruffy, and her condition isn't even that advanced yet (or at least, not that we know of - after radio silence on her end throughout all of the Icebrood Saga), so I imagine Blish would have needed something similar (perhaps more and more as his condition got worse).

But anyway; a few nights ago, my youngest sister (Miss Pretty's Twin) got an asthma attack. This happens sometimes, badly enough that we have a little machine about two hands big that converts a certain liquid medicine into mist which comes through the mouthpiece, and after twenty minutes or so of breathing it in she's fine, at least for a few hours.

She hadn't had an attack in a while, and it was the middle of the night, so I had to sneak into our parents' room to find the machine and hopefully not wake them up (plan failed, she was tired and scared and fussing rather loudly), and then I sat in the kitchen with her and held her in my lap to try and calm her down (and also hold her nose so she would actually breathe through the mouthpiece) and provide some physical comfort. After a minute or so she calmed down and I was just sitting there holding her, and the machine was whirring rather noisily (but not noisily enough to wake people up).

But I realized this is probably an identical situation to something that's happened between Blish and Gorrik before. I've already said Blish has a strong older-brother vibe, but Gorrik all but exudes protectiveness.

But it's really kind of sad; not in any way I can articulate, but I guess the whole concept of Blish living inside a golem is sad, and when you think there was all sorts of other things he probably had to live with before that...

But this is sad in a sibling kind of way, since Gorrik is the younger brother; I get the vague sense he shouldn't have to deal with that? Older brothers are supposed to be champions; the ones that lead the charge to go exploring, and the younger brother kind of follows in wide-eyed awe and how amazing their brother is.

Blish is a champion in a different sort of way, of course, but it wouldn't have been the same for Gorrik and he kind of never had that experience?

I don't know, my brain is kind of clogging up and isn't doing the normal concept -> words transition.

But like - Gorrik's always depended on Blish for things like emotional support, not to mention his genius, and Gorrik's always helped and supported Blish with his physical condition, partly because Gorrik looks up to and respects him, but also because he really, really, really just simply needs his older brother.

#gorrik #blish #it's just sad #plain and simple #and like after Blish died #I could absolutely see Gorrik doing a Ceera and blaming the Commander #Blish was his whole life you know #and like it's basically canon we don't care so much #we're more worried about Taimi #and SHE is more worried about Kralk #and Aurene #and we only knew Blish for two episodes #but this was Gorrik's BROTHER #Gorrik needs him #gw2 #ls4 #a star to guide us spoilers

[deepblooberc]

On Dating and Why I Am This Close in Opting to Say Fuck It.

A very personal post, y'all. Stay tuned for more shit posting later.

As I navigate the modern dating world in the remains of Covid era, I have to say that out of all 4 years that I have been on and off using these dating apps (and I have used them all if they were open to homosexual dating: Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, Her, Zoe, Badoo, Taimi, OkCupid), no time has made me feel any more jaded about finding someone real and wanting legitimate commitment until now.

Like, okay, my last two relationships were from Dating apps. My longest (6 mos.) relationship was from Her, and I proceeded to delete my account because I thought I found the one. Sadly she dumped me for dumb reasons and went off months later to find her person. I was still alone. Then, my most recent relationship was from Bumble, but we had to end because they were unsure about their mental state and sexuality/gender identity. Understandable, since you can't out your heart into a relationship if you don't put it in yourself. We are friends still.

I know I am young and shouldn't be so worried about it especially if it is spurred on by social media and outside pressures, but it's nearly been pressured by people being online posting about "oh X and I have been together for Y years and we bought Z together! I'm so happy and we're going on strong!" Like...I just want shit like that, but it seems like most sapphics my age genuinely don't want to settle down and really love someone like I do as much as they claim to want that. I'm also expected to live in the now, to not worry about settling down and marrying someone and to hook up as much as I can until the person comes. Hooking up actually does nothing for me, if anything it is a cheap thrill for a short amount of satisfaction instead of a long term thing.

My emotions and hormones constantly fight with one another. I want a relationship but I also always seem to find myself wanting sex too. As much as I appreciate women finding me sexually attractive, most times they're with someone already or they don't want to eventually form a relationship. They just want the relationship without the label of a relationship, and that's extremely disingenuous. I know there's a difference between sex and intimacy, but I legitimately crave sex as much as intimacy. With the right amount of Intimacy, I can ask for sex. That's how I work.

I think that one thing that holds me back from finding someone to love me is being autistic. Like...legit it's a lot harder to find the signals than usual and it frustrates me to no end because when I like someone, I seek to make them my partner unless we can only see ourselves as friends. When I like someone, I try to tell them as soon as I can that I like them. The way I see it, if I am not seeing any sort of progression in our discussions about planning dates and seeing how we mesh well in each other's lives, then I don't see it going anywhere.

If you mention these...I don't want it.

Polyamory/Open relationship/unicorn/boyfriend: No. No. Fuck you. I don't care if you're into it, I'm not. You started talking to me and made your profile as if you were single and when I started to have feelings for you, you yank that shit away and say you want your BOYFRIEND to join us on a date? Fuck out of here! At least if you were up front, it's a red flag and I head the fuck out. (This isn't to be disrespectful to anyone in open relationships, oh you have so much more will power. I just can't because I am strictly monogamous)

Explicitly bashing my opinions on politics or talking over me because you assume I think like you: that's probably gonna be the thing that makes me angry the most. Like I am a minority with my own opinions! I don't have to take you talking over me or assuming I'm a raging leftist like you. I am not and never will be.

Saying you're crazy: if you have to put the fact that you're crazy and will "ruin my life" in your profile AS A GOOD THING, fuck off. You need a therapist instead of a relationship.

Vibe: what does that mean? You want to date me without saying we are dating? So casual date? No, no. I don't do that.

People who unironically like Dhar Mann: do I need to say anymore? Unrealistic, cheesy, Hallmark inspiration porn.

With all of these things... I am pretty sure I won't find anyone that's living near me that doesn't have any of these traits. I may either have to give up one or just give up on dating. It's getting closer and closer to the latter option for me. I'll just order a sex bot and say that's m fucking girlfriend. I'll be like those pathetic little shut ins and just give the fuck up.

It looks less and less like any sapphic really wants a good, somewhat traditional, healthy relationship and just wants to put as many warning signs on them as possible....and that saddens me. My life will be completed when I get into a long term relationship tat leads into marriage, have at least one child, travel the world and have a successful job, have the body I want and settle down in a home somewhere. Is that a hard thing to ask for?

I am already working on the working out, job and traveling parts, but all I need now is just the relationship and home soon...looks like I'll have to give up before I find her.

PS, am I a bad person for wanting to date outside my race a cis woman? I think that is what gets me into a lot of shit. Ugh I hate these thoughts so much.

#things about me #a rant on dating #single wlw #wlw dating #autism and dating #struggling in dating #please help

[queer-as-used-by-tolkien]

Character Study: Braham (Part 1: Retaking Cragstead)

Braham has been a major character in the Icebrood Saga, and due to the confusing ending, we're not exactly sure where Braham's at right now or how he'll be going forward. I want to take this opportunity to go back to the beginning and see how far we've come, and how our relationship has evolved over the years - we've had ups and downs, but I want to see what the core of our friendship is.

Part 1: Retaking Cragstead

~oOoOo~

We meet Braham in Season 1 as a worried sixteen-year-old with an insane hairstyle (according to Taimi), who barges into Rytlock's office demanding aid for his people, citing his relationship with Eir while also being averse to talking to her.

We had come in looking for a way to help, and this seems like a good place to start, so when he decides to go to Hoelbrak despite his mother being there, we decide to go with and back him up before Knut Whitebear.

There - after learning the dynamics between Eir and Braham are complex - Braham shows a bit of an attitude, a bit of fire, some bitterness - but at heart he just wants to save his friends. Whitebear and Eir can't help, so you offer to go with him. He thanks you profusely.

At Cragstead, he shows stunning positive character traits like loyalty to his people, determination, courage, and - to top it all off - an amazing amount of responsibility.

He fights with energy and intensity, the sort you only get from a sixteen-year-old whose life is crumbling around him. His weapon is the blunt-power mace and shield and he tends to charge in recklessly.

After liberating some prisoners, his love interest, Ottilia, is mentioned (who remembers Braham used to have a love interest?!?) - the dredge had taken her away somewhere, which would incite anyone's fury - and yet, we have this line:

Braham: I hate this. We have to help Ottilia - and her family — but first, I have to make sure these 'steaders are okay. Braham: I've got this under control.

Later, he even tempers his hotheaded teenager-ness a bit:

Braham: I want to tell Brimstone and Whitebear that we managed without their help. Rub it in their faces, you know? Tell you what. You go tell Brimstone. I hear he's in the middle of a big meeting in the Imperator's Core. Player: You going to inform Whitebear? Braham: First I have to get these people to Hoelbrak. Once they're safe and healed and fed, I'll find out how I can rescue those who were taken.

Everyone knows Braham is reckless! But here we see his self-control. He couldn't rush off and yell at Brimstone and Whitebear immediately, so he was able to cool off and focus on the important things. He's capable of setting aside instant personal gratification for his responsibilities.

He was the only one both willing and capable to come to the rescue of his friends. And he was capable, and he was willing - that says a lot about him.

Braham is a teenage norn, and yet he takes the time to write us a letter and tell us how things turned out after, even calling us legendary... and yet he also says "I hope you still want to come with me."

Braham, Braham, Braham. Of course we still want to come with you. And so we do! Six Molten weapons facilities, where Braham and Rox get to know each other (and Rox shows him caution and tempers his recklessness a bit).

Afterward, Braham sends us another letter containing the line "I owe him [Knut] nothing, but reporting what happened is the right thing to do." And, y'know, to rub their faces in it like he mentioned earlier.

But then - when Braham gets there - he's more furious about the people who died. The people he grew up with.

Braham: I thought you should know. They were almost all... by the time I got to Cragstead, a dozen of my friends... Braham: If we'd stood together... but no, it's every hunter for himself, right?

Afterward, Braham thanks you again for your help when you were a complete stranger who didn't have to. He's expressed his gratitude at least thrice by this point.

He's sixteen. The destruction of his whole hometown caused him to grow up fast - but he didn't grow responsibility just because of that. He had it all along. His dad trained him well.

Let's have some love for Braham! Spirits know he needs it.

~oOoOo~

Credit to the Guild Wars 2 Wiki for the dialogues from these story instances! (in the tags if you want to look them up yourself!)

Next (P2: Ottilia)

#braham eirsson #braham: help from the legions #braham - eirsson #braham: retake cragstead #molten facility #braham: avenger of the dispossessed #<- actual instance name #really cool imo #season 1 #flame and frost: the razing #flame and frost: retribution #eir stegalkin #rox #ottilia #knut whitebear #rytlock brimstone #norn #gw2