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#we're camping right now
toonbly · 2 months
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out of context camp damascus spoilers
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diluc33rpm · 2 months
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the romance/relationship system in bg3 is genuinely some of the worst designed shit i've ever seen in any game with that feature but at least the memes we get out of it are funny. once saw someone comment something along the lines of 'patch note: waving at gale will no longer cause him to buy a house for the two of you to retire in' and i've never recovered since
#i love gale he doesn't deserve (most of) the incel slander#but it's painfully such a good riff because it really really does feel like that#the player choices being a b/w alternation between 'hey there' and 'YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF... NOW!' normally is already comical as is#the fact that it carries over into interactions with the party members who you're presumably trying to be close with is... something else#and what makes it worse is it ISN'T jokey hyperbole. anyone remember 'send a mental image of you kissing him or HIS HEAD ON A PIKE.' c'mon#trying to chat and vibe at the refugee camp celebration and the sum of conversation i get is one (1) line asking how they're doing#because going any further than that elicits marking you down for the path of boning take it or leave it#it's genuinely so hard to get to feel like you can deepen a relationship with the characters in ways that aren't trying to pursue them#yes! halsin! i really want to know you better! i just don't want the ass!! why is trying to hit the only option other than up and leaving!!#99% of the time i expect nothing from media creators in terms of writing interactive relationships#larian are beyond parody in that they've somehow managed to do worse than the already suboptimal majority#we're just going to impose the roadblock of do you want to fuck y/n right off the bat. good luck finding a way to talk around that if not#the obscuration surrounding where exactly the checks are really does not help at all either#when the shit's got even the allos complaining about it you know it's BAD#shame because i was excited for character scenes given that's a lot of what's hyped up about the game#but no it's all just the romances. 'what if i'd like to breathe in someone's general direction-' well now have you heard of our romances?#fish fear them party members fear them and tav is going to have to walk alone on this sinful earth#conservative bigoted relative at the family reunion withers era was a fucking time before they tweaked that line speaking of#just so crazy they can get away with this shit#baldur's gate 3#bg3 liveblog
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kimmkitsuragi · 1 month
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alright my question is: is wyll okay with me fucking astarion JUST once. just at the tiefling party once. i mean
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goldensunset · 5 months
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auhm,,,,. so like i've put up with the wild party people for the last 2 years and all and they've always been annoying... but tonight for the first time i actually have a lingering massive headache as a result of all the noise...
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thestarmaker · 10 months
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YEAHHHH KOOPA CAPE CONFIRMED FOR WAVE 5!!!!!!!!!
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starlightoru-gojo · 2 years
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Hello, it's me. 🤣✨
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blujayonthewing · 2 years
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we’re going camping this weekend, so if you don’t hear from me after, like, tomorrow afternoon then I’m actually being good about Getting Off That Damn Phone 👍
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chronomally · 2 years
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She's like "we can't get anyone else killed that sucked and I don't want to do it again" and he's just like I Do Not Hear It
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obiwan-kenobabe · 2 years
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Anxiety on this camping trip is really getting to me. Idk man. But sleeping is not happening tonight.
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bratbby333 · 29 days
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gamer!bf sukuna drabble
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·:*¨༺ nsfw mdni ༻¨*:·
gamer!bf sukuna who is always sat at his desk, shooting at something
gamer!bf sukuna who will lose track of time and play for hoursss, not even acknowledging your existence until you interrupt his game play with dinner
gamer!bf sukuna who buys you your own gaming set up after catching you playing on his computer when you think he isn't home (he positions your new monitor and gaming chair right next to his)
gamer!bf sukuna who laughs in your face when you ask if he wants to play minecraft with you (how dare you recommend something that isn't violent? silly little thing. do you even know him?)
"so childish... why the fuck would i play that?"
gamer!bf sukuna who feels bad after you pout at him for making fun of you, reluctantly agreeing to play fortnite (the tamest game he'll play)
gamer!bf sukuna who is never not yelling at someone through his headset
"you stupid fuck! ask your mother how my dick tastes"
gamer!bf sukuna who loves when you pull up a chair to watch him play
gamer!bf sukuna who let's you sit in his lap, the controller in your hands with his hands over yours, pushing the buttons for you... the elated grin on your face when you finally kill someone makes his dick hard
"baby! i did it! i got him!" "that's my good girl, now let me reward you"
gamer!bf sukuna who loves that you play animal crossing at your desk next to him while he plays cs:go and valorant, you eventually put on your noise canceling headphones because he won't stop screaming
"what the actual FUCK was that? you're trash. GET OUT OF MY LOBBY"
gamer!bf sukuna who finally agrees to play minecraft with you after weeks of begging, enjoying it more than he thought he would (the face you make when he finally says yes causes his heart flutter just a little bit... but he'll never tell you that, constantly groaning at how boring it is, but playing it with you for three hours)
he runs around killing creepers and skeletons to quell his homicidal ideations instead of helping you build a house "why the hell would we build a fake house when we're literally sitting in our real one?" so fucking sassy for no reason he'd run around collecting a mob of enemies instead, luring them into a pit before sealing it off and dumping a bucket of lava on them, laughing as they slowly burn to death...bro is insane i stg...
gamer!bf sukuna who let's you wear his headset while he plays a 1v1 in a custom lobby, laughing at his opponents obvious anger and frustration thinking they're losing to you (COD is so misogynistic, and sukuna is thoroughly amused when he gets to put them in their place on your behalf)
gamer!bf sukuna who beams with pride when you start picking up on gaming terms
"that guy sucks, he's just camping", you say, brows furrowed in annoyance. "who the fuck did you learn that word from?" "who do you think i learned it from, dumbass?" you retort, a taunting smile on your lips. he just grins, "god, you're so fuckin' sexy. but drop the attitude before i fuck it outta you."
gamer!bf sukuna who attempts to teach you how to play call of duty, battlefield, and cs:go
"you'll get better, doll. just keep tryin'"
gamer!bf sukuna who refuses to admit that he actually enjoys playing minecraft with you, hoping you'll suggest to play it first
gamer!bf sukuna who looks down from his monitor to see you kneeling under his desk, head between his legs, sucking him off while he's on discord talking to his friends; tangling his hands in your hair, biting the inside of his cheek when you deepthroat him unexpectedly, his hips bucking off his chair. "you dirty fuckin' girl, it's like you want them to hear" he moans out. his friends erupt in laughter after hearing him, but he doesn't want you to stop. exhibitionist!sukuna has entered the chat
"you can stay and listen if you want, at least im gettin' some unlike you virgins"
gamer!bf sukuna who fucks you rough when he loses a game
"god you're so fuckin' tight for me" he groans, his grip tight on your hips. he looks down to watch your pretty pussy suck him in. you squirm, his cock burying itself deeper and deeper inside you with every trust, whining as he pushes your head into the mattress, his strokes unrelenting. "uh uh. don't move...stay right fuckin' there n take this dick, brat."
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
author notes: hehehe...this was super fun to write. if you have any requests, send them here! if u wanna be added to my anon club, drop an emoji with ur submission and ill add u to my pinned post ☺︎
i've already written longer, smut-filled stories of gamer!bf sukuna,,u can read them here and here
thank u liking, commenting, and reblogging...it makes me kick my feet n giggle when i get the notification ♡
© bratbby333 on tumblr. all rights reserved. please do not distribute. 2024.
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justporo · 3 months
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Hear me out! Tav brought a statue of Astarion to the camp but Astarion does not recognize himself in it and does not understand why their leader spent 5000 gold on a random stone man. Meanwhile the party is betting on how long it will take Astarion to guess whose statue it is.
5000 Gold
"He's not... he's not gonna figure it out anytime soon, is he?"
"Sshhh!"
Shadowheart shushed Karlach with an angry frown and a single finger thrown to her lips.
The two of them - along with your other companions observed the scene unfolding on the other side of the camp. Right where a delivery had just been made - and quite an uncommon one.
A giant stone statue, depicting... Astarion - and almost fully nude at that.
You couldn't resist when the offer had been made to you at the carnival at the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate. 5000 gold had felt like nothing for the punchline you had been about to make with having a statue be made of the one companion that couldn't remember what he himself looked like.
And Astarion, upon discovering Tav's most recent purchase, had started to throw a temper tantrum immediately, almost fainting when he had heard the paid sum out of your mouth.
The vampire had worked himself into an outright frenzy, screaming, hissing, gesticulating towards the statue, then back to you, then to the skies. Meanwhile all you could do anymore was biting your lip to stop yourself from bursting into the biggest laughing fit of your life.
The rest of the group kept observing from a safe distance.
"Istik", Lae'zel mumbled under her breath. But even the sober githyanki could barely hide a smile.
Shadowheart shushed her as well. Wyll had just been silently shaking his head for the last couple of minutes. Shadowheart had started taking bets on how long it would take the oblivious vampire to realise the cruel trick that was being played on him. Karlach, being way too optimistic, had already lost some coin to the cleric with their estimate of a few minutes.
Only Gale who had been busy this far with some of his thousand books had missed the whole spectacle so far. Just now had the wizard realised that something was going down. He eyed the fighting trio of you Astarion and stone Astarion and then the group of bystanders, trying to decipher the situation. When he couldn't make any logical sense of any of it he went over to the small onlooking group. "I appear to have missed something? What is-"
Shadowheart hissed at him to shut up, causing Gale to flinch back with a hurt facial expression. Wyll though wasn't impressed by the cleric and enlightened his friend: "It looks like our clever leader Tav has taken up the offer of getting a stone statue of Astarion for a bargain of 5000 gold without telling anyone. And now we're betting how long it's going to take him to realise it's him."
Shadowheart stared the Blade of Frontiers down. Wyll merely shrugged his shoulders. He'd faced more fearsome creatures than the cleric aplenty.
Gale just blinked several times at him, letting the words settle. Then a grin spread on the wizard's face. "I bet 100 gold it's gonna take him at least until the end of the day."
Shadowheart's furious expression lightened noticeably and she stretched out her hand to Gale. They shook on the bet. Then everyone turned back to the two Astarion's and you to continue watching the scene.
"Why in the nine hells would you get a statue of some random guy - he isn't that... Well, he is quite handsome!" Astarion yelled at you while you had to hide your face in your hands desperately trying to pull yourself together.
The vampire didn't let up: "Well, if only it had been me, then I would have understood, darling, who wouldn't want that as a piece of decor, but-"
That was it, you broke. Hysterical laughter started shaking you, up to the point where you doubled over and could barely breathe between laughing and crying from laughing.
The vampire meanwhile went through the whole spectrum of emotions known under the sun in a matter of seconds. Angered, confused, flustered. And then finally something in the elf’s brain clicked together.
He stared at the statue then at you, back to the statue and suddenly his hands wandered over his own face as if to grasp it's lines and shapes.
"You...," he started and stopped. Through your tears you were sure you could see the vampire's pointy ears turn bright pink. "That IS me!"
You were barely able to nod as another fit of laughter shook you. Astarion’s mouth opened several times but no sound came out. A rare occasion to the see the sassy rogue so void of words.
Meanwhile, a bunch of moans could be heard from the other side of camp where Shadowheart collected her won gold from the others.)
"Why would you-", Astarion began and his expression was barely readable while your laughter slowly died down and you were able to kneel back on your feet.
"Didn't you say it yourself? He's quite handsome, isn't he? Now you get to see for yourself again."
Astarion pointed an angry finger at you about to throw another fit but then his eyes fell on the statue again. Now with knowing what it was and what it meant it shut him up immediately.
He took a few steps closer to get a better look. His anger at you momentarily forgotten as he gazed upon his own image for the first time in over 200 years.
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keerysfreckles · 3 months
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luke being all needy and touchy, he craves the attention and just wants to feel loved
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pairing: luke castellan x gn!reader (no specific pronouns mentioned)
warnings: petnames used, small makeout sesh 🤗
a/n: i kinda hate how this one turned out but oh well
masterlist !
꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱
today was possibly your favorite day at camp half-blood. capture the flag. you and your cabin were always on the red team, which explains the red helmet sitting on your bunk bed.
you're currently standing in front of the full length mirror in the cabin, fiddling with your shirt and pants, making sure everything looks perfect.
"you know you look good in anything right?" a voice echoes through the almost empty cabin. turning around, you see luke walking over towards you.
"i know," you turn back towards the mirror, "i just want my first time captaining the team to be perfect."
luke is now behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. he rests his head on your shoulder, talking softly, "you're gonna be the best team captain the red team has ever had."
"you're my boyfriend, you're supposed to say that."
luke kisses your cheek, before turning you around to fully face him. "no no, sweetheart i'm not just saying it. i really mean it. i mean, of course the blue team's going to win again, but you guys totally have a shot."
you roll your eyes at his words and laugh, "for someone who's trying to make me feel better, you're doing a pretty shit job."
luke laughs with you, before leaning in to kiss your lips. the kiss is quick and sweet, but also genuine.
you start to pull away, but luke only pulls you in again. his hands stay on your waist, while yours move to the curls on the back of his head.
"why are you so touchy today baby?" you ask curiously against his lips.
"what? i can't love on you?" he only smiles more and picks you up, making you laugh loudly.
"luke!" you laugh again, "put me down!"
"knock, knock," grover enters the cabin. "chiron's looking for you guys. we're all waiting to start."
"be right there grover," luke sends the goat away. he kisses your lips once more before leaving the cabin. god you love him.
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triptuckers · 3 months
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sparring sessions - percy jackson
Request: yes! "ok so ik it’s kinda (by kind of i mean VERY) cliche, but i was wondering if u could do like an angst -> fluff where like percy and reader get into a fight n stuff and he like admits that he loves them??" Pairing:  percy jackson x reader Summary:  when an argument between you and percy gets heated, some things are revealed Warnings:  mentions of injuries and blood, arguing, angst Word count:  858 A/N: raaaaaahhh I LOVE me some cliche's LETS GO !! thanks for you request, enjoy!
it started out as an innocent sparring session between percy and jake, a hephaestus kid. a couple kids from hermes, hephaestus, and athena decided to get together to train. you and percy also joined.
you'd been at camp longer than percy, so you had trained him in the beginning. the two of you often train together even though percy is now better than you.
but somehow he still looks at you while sparring with someone else. if it's to read your facial expressions or just because you're in his line of sight, you're not sure.
but today it nearly went wrong.
while percy and jake were sparring, percy was looking at you and too late to block jake's sword. he managed to make a deep cut in percy's arm.
the session was immediately ended and percy put his sword away. while the other kids continued their training session, you walked away. you couldn't stay there and be around percy right now. clearly he hadn't listened to you.
but percy, having seen your face, follows you.
as soon as you get to percy's cabin - which provides you with more privacy than your own - you turn around to look at him with an irritated look on your face.
'I told you to ignore me if you're sparring!' you say.
percy frowns. but nothing bad happened? why are you mad at him? besides, he can't look away from you when he's sparring. he thought you knew this.
'and how am I supposed to do that?' says percy, watching as you take off your armor and neatly put it away. 'you're the one that taught me. of course I need to see if you think I'm doing a good job.'
you pinch the bridge of your nose between your fingers. you're trying so hard to stay calm right now.
'of course I think you're doing a good job, percy.' you say. 'I know you're good at what you do. but you'd do a great job if you would listen to my advice and avoid getting stabbed.'
percy makes a soft offended noise. 'first of all, I didn't get stabbed. I got nicked!'
you groan out loud 'percy! come on, don't be stubborn!'
'I'm the one being stubborn? you should see yourself when you're sparring. you want it to be perfect but fighting never is! it's messy, no matter how good you train someone.'
'I'm going for a walk.' you say, before you get angrier and say things you don't mean.
you grab your armor and walk towards the door, but he steps in front of you, blocking the doorway.
'oh no, you're not. we're not done yet.' says percy, crossing his arms over his chest, displaying the cut on his arm that he didn't have time to heal yet.
'got more to say?' you say.
'yes. you never did actually tell me what I did wrong.' says percy. 'you're mad, I can tell. but you didn't tell me what it was that I did that's made you mad.'
'yes I did. I told you that you need to ignore me when you're sparring. focus all of you attention on the opponent, not me.'
'I can't do that.'
'can't focus on the opponent? I noticed.'
'that's not what I meant!'
'then what do you mean!'
'I meant I can't ignore you when I'm sparring!' says percy loudly. 'I can never ignore you, don't you understand that? whenever you're near you always have my attention, I can never look away. even when you're not near me I'm thinking about you. gods, you're always on my mind because I love you, okay? so I'm sorry if I can't look away from you when I'm sparring!'
you hadn't realised how close you were to each other. now percy's face is close to yours, both of you breathing heavily.
you knew percy liked you, obviously. you wouldn't be staying in his cabin almost every night if he didn't. but this? even though you knew percy had liked you for a long time, you hadn't been together for that long.
'you love me?' you say in a soft voice, feeling your anger and irritation ebb away.
percy closes his eyes and shakes his head, as if he just now realises what he said. then he sighs and when he opens his eyes and looks at you, there's nothing but sweetness in them.
'yeah. I do.' says percy. 'I've loved you for a long time, actually.'
you smile and want to say something but percy's eyes widen.
'wait, shit, is that too soon? should I have waited to say it? oh gods if I-'
'percy.' you say, shutting him up by stepping even closer to him.
'it's okay. I love you too.' you say.
percy grins and his eyes twinkle. without warning, he puts his hands on the sides of your face and crashes his lips against yours. he can feel the smile on your lips.
when he pulls back, you're both smiling.
'you still want to go on that walk?' says percy.
'definitely not.' you say.
percy laughs and kisses you again, your argument already forgotten.
A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rulesHere’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost, steal or translate my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit
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gothwineaunts · 5 months
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Summer Camp Fanfic Fanart
(I'll just copy/paste a bit of my last post in case anyone missed it) So, we decided to make fanart of fanworks. Yeah, it's meta and chaotic, but that kinda feels right. If y'all like this we may do more in the future. This is the last one for today! Hope you had as much fun as we did!!
Ahahaha. So, listen. It was just too good a scene not to feature. This moment is from scouthearted's 'Neversmores' on Ao3. It's got six chapters out now and they're all nostalgic summer camp perfection. Everyone is camp counselors. Annabel is a hot lifeguard. Gay shit happens. Like, I don't even feel like I need to explain why this is good, right? Sapphics, we're all suckers for a summer camp story. That can't just be me. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50104561/chapters/126530674 --- And if you've never been on ao3 before, please understand that there's a WIDE variety of content there and some of it can be very over-the-line. Familiarize yourself with the tagging system before you go clicking around to make sure you're not reading things that are outside your comfort zone/age rating.
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ma1dita · 1 month
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its 10pm again.... 😈😈
rivals with benefits Luke who makes everything a competition. even in bed. 😼
IM ALSO SO SORRY FOR FLOODING UR INBOX
MDNI
🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥
a/n: liv we're boxing because i literally could not rest until i got this right,,,, smut. public sex. wrap before you tap. creampie. all the nasty things. fuck man...
wc: 968
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“That’s a point for me,” Luke says with a menacing grin. The both of you are soaked to the bone after paddling across Canoe Lake to see who could make it to the other end the fastest, and as you gasp for air while holding onto the wood post of the pier, you can’t help but somehow be convinced that he cheated.
“You’re built like a frog with those long legs of yours, how the fuck was I supposed to win?”
Daybreak spreads slowly across Camp Half-Blood, sunlight kissing where the sky meets the water and Luke thinks he wants to kiss you. Knows it, actually—deep down to his bones that the line between hatred and love must be lust.
He swims closer to you like a predator creeping toward his prey, wet curls stuck to his forehead as he admires how hard you’re breathing. You’re right there, and since you like to make a competition of everything from capture the flag strategies to how many campers you both can get to screech at nightly sing-a-longs, he thinks he has an offer you won’t be able to resist. Luke’s hands glide under your shirt as the both of you tread water, still fighting for dominance even when it comes to who takes up the most space to stay afloat. You lick your lips, fingers tugging at his camp necklace as you look at him curiously and raise an eyebrow.
“I’ve got an idea…”
“I’ll start my prayers,” you smirk, before seeing the hot burning want in his gaze. You can feel it in his fingers as they brush the underside of your breasts, nipples stiff in the frigid water. Shaking your head, a nervous giggle leaves you as your arms circle his neck, bodies separated by your thin, sopping nightshirt. If he touches the rest of you, he’ll find other parts that are wet too, warm enough to brave the chill of the morning breeze that settles upon your shoulders.
“The nymphs might see…” you whisper, even though the both of you know not a single soul is awake right now but time is running out like sand in an hourglass.
“You backing down?”
The kiss you press into his open mouth is a clear enough answer—tongues sliding and spearing against each other, hot and angry and bruising. It’s a fair shot, not knowing who’s going to come out on top.
“Oh, gods, please!”
Your hands and knees are scraping in the rocks and sand of the shoreline underneath the pier as Luke pistons into you at an alarming rate, each thrust a blow to your senses. He watches your head bob up towards the sky almost in reverent prayer and he’s grinning, continually sinking into your warmth while the rest of him shudders from the cold. Luke’s cock works inside your slick hole instead of against it, and he laughs at the irony of you finally letting him have his way. Your fingernails dig into the coarse beach, grains of sand making their way through every crevice as he fills your pulsing one with glee.
“Fucking knew you’d behave…” he grunts, one hand pulling at the thin cloth around your waist and the other holds onto your stomach so he can feel himself bludgeon you from the inside. “Can’t fight back when you’re getting your brains fucked out, hmm?” 
He watches your pretty tits swing from the stretched out opening of your soggy shirt as you choke out a sob of pleasure.
“Yes…f-fuck Luke,” you whine, reaching back to ease your hand against his abdomen but he pulls it behind your back to use as a better hold on you. Luke puts two of his fingers in your mouth and they prod at the skin of your cheek, spit dripping around the digits.
Despite the intrusion, you’re groaning loud enough over the icy smacks against your skin that for a moment he thinks it might actually wake the forest nymphs, but then he’s distracted by your pussy pushing and pulling him as his hips clap against your ass, leaving them raw for days to come. Light waves crash against the shore with your movements, splashing against your knees and you’re giggling at him with a dazed grin as you push your hips back harder against his thrusts, overpowering his control over you. 
He swallows thickly, groaning through the building sensation in his stomach as you rock back onto his cock faster and with the purpose of taking him down and winning. The both of you work in tandem as you writhe against each other in a battle to reach the end, unsure of if you’re with him or against him but gods, it feels so fucking good being under him.
“M’so close…Don’t fucking stop,” you shudder, and Luke shuts his eyes hard and takes a deep breath. Even if all 12 Olympians came down right now to smite him he wouldn’t be able to pull out. 
So he doesn’t. 
He couldn’t even if he tried—he cums so hard, his front meeting your back as you fall into the sand with a muffled yelp and he’s pumping thick rods of his release into your pussy. You shiver under him slightly until you realize your belly is warm from his efforts.
“That’s gotta be like 5 or 10 points,” Luke pants, nipping at your shoulder before he sits up. You’re laying there, ass up and motionless so he slaps a cheek before you start laughing.
“For me. At least you came,” you drone, having been on the brink of an orgasm.
He couldn’t argue with that. So he flips you onto your back and eats you out (sand and slick and all) until he’s ready again and by the time the morning bell rings, you’ve both lost track of who’s won your so-called competition.
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woso-dreamzzz · 4 days
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Injured (Jenni's Version)
Jenni Hermoso x Child!Reader
Summary: You go home
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You don't understand what's going on.
Well, you do but you don't know why everyone is acting so weird.
Last night, Mami came to visit. She took one look at you and burst into tears. She held you close and cried. She cried and cried and cried and you didn't know how to make her feel better. She just kept crying and holding you.
At first, it was nice. To be held by Mami, you mean, but suddenly her arms felt like shackles around your body, like bricks tried to your legs as you try to fight against the pool you've been thrown into. Everything about her was too hot and too restrictive and you could do little but go limp as she held you.
You're much too tiny to fight against Mami. She is big and strong and you are small and weak.
She released you a little while later and said goodbye.
There was something in the way she said it that seemed very final. You don't know why you called out to her but you did.
She turned, a glimmer of something in her eyes but you just gave her back the train you desperately wanted all those months ago. The one that you had hoped to get for your birthday but didn't. The one you had hoped to get for Christmas but didn't.
You gave it back to her.
"I'm sorry that I don't want to play with it, Mami," You'd told her before retreating back to Mama.
But that was last night and today is different.
Today, you got up early and got dressed and brushed your teeth until they were squeaky clean.
Tia Alba drives you and Mama to the airport. You don't really go to airports a lot.
Mami never liked it bringing you to camps with her so you didn't travel nearly as much as she did, only for very special occasions like the Champion's League final.
Tia Alba comes with you both through check in and she holds you while Mama goes through the scary scanning machine and waits for you on the other side.
It's big and scary and you don't like going through it but Mama is on the other side and she scoops you up into a hug as soon as you make it through.
Airports are big too but you're holding Mama's hand so you feel safe as she leads you through.
It's early and you're hungry and you get a small snack to hold you over.
"Private plane, huh?" Tia Alba teases as she sips a coffee.
Mama rolls her eyes. "They're just happy to have me back. We're lucky they didn't send over an escort to make sure we got home safe."
You don't know a lot, you're only little but you know you're travelling somewhere today. You know this because Mama has two documents that say you're both travelling. She's got your new passport too.
It's got your new name on it and that's how you know it's new.
It's tucked into her coat pocket nice and safe.
You're travelling with your Mama, you know that for certain.
A lot has changed though and you're not too sure what it is exactly. You have a new name and you don't know why. You like your new name though. It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Putellas-Hermoso is in your passport now.
You've always thought that the Putellas part of your name looked lonely. You like that it has a friend now.
Tia Alba looks at you and smiles. "Are you happy to be going to Mexico, Bambi?"
"That's where you live!" You tell Mama and she laughs, fondly brushing your hair from your face.
"It's where you live now too."
You frown. "But ballet-"
"There's a ballet studio right down the street from our house," Mama tells you," You've got lessons on Wednesday for two hours and then nine until lunch on Saturdays."
You don't know how to respond to that, perplexed that Mama already knows your new dance schedule.
"That sounds fun," Tia Alba says," I'll have to come visit soon."
Your brows furrow. "You're not coming, Tia?"
She shakes her head. "My life is here, bambi," She says.
"So's mine," Your voice isn't even above a whisper and no one hears you. You've never thought about leaving Spain before, not permanently anyway.
Mami told you that it's because you're like her. You're a homebody. You're just like Mami.
You don't know if you want to be like Mami anymore.
The Putellas in your old passport always looked lonely. It has Hermoso now so it's not lonely anymore. But you don't think Hermoso would be lonely if it was by itself.
A fancy man in a suit comes up to Mama, whispering in her ear and she nods, picking you up on her hips easily.
She and Tia Alba wheel the suitcases after him.
You wander through the back halls of the airport until you're on the tarmac where a plane is waiting.
Tia Alba called it a private plane. You know Mami's been on those lots but you haven't been once. When you've travelled, it's been with Tia Alba or Abuela in one of the normal people's planes.
This is new and a little strange but not unwelcome, you think.
There are stairs leading up to it and Tia Alba stops at the bottom of them. She kneels in front of you and cups your face.
"I love you, bambi," She says to you, looking deep into your eyes," And I will come visit you very soon." She gives you a big hug that you somehow feel in your very soul.
"I love you too, Tia Alba," You say and Mama takes your hand to lead you inside.
You don't remember much of the flight.
You know a few things though.
It is long, very long. You sleep a lot and eat when Mama says that you should. She holds you as you sleep. You are not coming back to Spain for a long while.
You don't know that last one for sure but you still think it's true.
Deep down, you know it is true.
You think Tia Alba knew that too which is why she came with you all the way to the plane steps.
But still, you sleep for most of the flight, wrapped up protectively in Mama's strong arms.
You float between sleep and awake but Mama never disappears. Her arms hold you close and her perfume wraps around you like a blanket.
You are still tired when the plane lands. You remain tired in the trip from the airport to where Mama lives.
It is dark out now, night time and you should really be asleep.
You're sleepy but you can't sleep. Mami once said you got that from her too.
You don't want that from her though.
You only got the bad bits from Mami, you think. You can't sleep because she can't sleep. You don't go out because she doesn't go out.
You wish you got the good parts of Mami like her ability to kick a ball. You think Mami could have loved you if you could kick a ball. You think Mami would have let you stay if you could kick a ball.
Or, maybe, you could have gotten her confidence. Mami knows how to speak to people. She knows how to tell people how she's feeling. You can't do that. Maybe, if you had told Mami at the beginning, when she still loved you enough to care, she wouldn't have sent you away.
Maybe, if you had tried to be the good parts of Mami instead of the bad then you could have lived with her and Olga and Jaume.
You are with Mama now though. That is good. You like that. You know you're going to like living with Mama but some awful part of you still yearns for the Mami from Before.
You think that Mami from Before would have come to you when you fell off the slide.
You'd like to think the Mami from Before would do that but you wonder if the Mami from Before even cared about you. You wonder if you were her little guinea pig so she could be a good Mami to Jaume.
You hope you aren't.
But...
The car shuts off and Mama picks you out of your car seat. She drags in the bags but sets you on the floor so she can pick out her house keys from her pocket.
Mama has a doorknocker on her door. She doesn't have a doorbell like Mami does. Her doorknocker is pristine. It is clean and not stiff at all. You can tell it is old though but it's definitely looked after.
Mama ushers you inside, flicking on the lights as soon as she gets the lights on.
"Do you want to look around by yourself or do you want me to go around with you?"
You don't answer Mama.
She's got a mantelpiece above a fireplace that you wonder ever gets used.
But it's neither the mantel nor the fire that actually has your attention.
There's a picture that you're focussed on.
Mama is smiling at the camera. She's holding you when you were a baby, wrapped in the soft pink baby blanket she bought for you when you were very little.
She's beaming as she looks at the camera and you look perfectly happy and content in her arms.
"That's you," Mama says," When you were still a baby. I visited you and Alexia in hospital. After her and the doctors, I was the next person to hold you."
"Really?"
"Really." Mama's hand rests on your shoulder and you lean into her legs. "How about we get ready for bed? It's late."
You let her lead you away, up the stairs into what you assume is your new bedroom.
It is different from your bedroom back home. There is a mirror and a barre like at your ballet studio and rows of ballet pumps lined up next to it.
"I had someone do it up while I came to get you," Mama explains as she rummages through a few boxes for pyjamas.
They're train-themed and Mama has to puppeteer your arms because you're so exhausted.
You're so tired and you feel so strange and Mama is so warm and safe that you burst into tears.
They bubble up from some secret part of you and tear from your throat. They're full-on sobs as well, your body shaking from exertion as each of them comes out.
Mama's hands flutter uncertainly around you before you're lying against her on your new bed.
Your tears drip-drop onto her shirt and one of her big hands cup the back of your head, pushing it further into her like you're a little baby like Jaume.
You wonder if Mami is going to give your train to Jaume. You wonder if she did it last night after she visited you. You wonder if Mami is happy you are gone now.
You wonder if she's going to turn your room into Jaume's new playroom. You wonder if she's going to be happier now that she doesn't have to fit your ballet into her schedule anymore.
You have Mama now but that doesn't mean you don't think of Mami while you cry. You have Mama and she is strong and brave and you think she can take care of your feelings for you while you're still weak and scared.
You have Mama but she is not Mami like how Mami is not Mama.
Mama could never be Mami and you don't want her to be.
Mami never wanted you. You think you know that now. You think you know you were the biggest mistake of Mami's life. You think you are lucky that she loved you enough to look after you until someone else could.
You think Mami is special. She wins lots of awards for her football. People admire your Mami. They chant her name and scream their praise. Mami wins medals and trophies. She's one of the best football players in the world.
You think she'll be the best Mami in the world to Jaume too.
No, you know she'll be the best Mami in the world to Jaume.
Mami has always been a good Mami to Jaume. Jaume who is named after Abuelo. Jaume who is Olga's baby. Jaume who is wanted and loved and planned.
Everyone loves Jaume.
You love him too though you wish that you didn't. You think you would be happier if you could hate Jaume, if you could dislike him at all but he's only little and he's still your brother so you love him.
Your family shares love equally between you and him, you think, or they try to. They try to have the same amount of love for you as they have for him. You don't think that's easy to do.
You think that's why you've gone away with Mama.
It is hard and it is mean but it is what has happened.
Jaume is littler than you. He needs more help to grow up. He needs more love than you because he's a little boy and you're a big girl. You think he's going to be a footballer like Mami so he has to stay close to her so he can learn.
If one of you had to leave, of course it would be you.
In a secret part of you, hidden deep down, you think it is nice that you're left with Mama. She will never love Jaume as much as she loves you. It is bad to think about that but you like it.
You like that you don't have to share Mama's love.
You like that you will be the only child she will hold like this. You will be the only child she will tuck into bed or help at bath time. You will be the only child who will live in this house with her.
You will be the only one who she loves like this.
You do not feel bad that Jaume will never experience your Mama. He has Mami and Olga and the rest of the family.
He has a Putellas. He has always been a Putellas. He will always be a Putellas. He is Mami's son.
You have Mama. You are a Hermoso. You haven't always been a Hermoso. You will be a Hermoso forever though.
You are Mama's daughter.
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