#we're almost to the point of the pandemic where I'm going to have to see family again....
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as a person on the inside of the animation industry, are there signs that we might be heading to another dark age of animation like the 1980s (e.g. animation is regulated to just glorified toy commercials or dark fantasy movies)?
"Kid Vid" regulations mean you can't advertise for stuff kids might buy from within a show anymore. Generally, you can't even have (say) Yogi Bear wearing a shirt with his best friend BooBoo's face on it as a gag, because "what if someone made that shirt one day?" Then it would be a retroactive ad, I guess? I'm not schooled in reverse-time law like studio lawyers, so I can't really say. Still, it's almost impossible to get even a fictional product into a kid's show these days, so I think the 1980s will probably stay in their timeline. At least in that way.
I do think a bit of a "Dark Age" is upon us, though. Maybe just a small one. Just a wee little snip of a Dark Age is all.
As far as I can glean, there are going to be precious few animated shows coming out over the next couple of years because not much was picked up during the pandemic. There are only a few things being developed here and there, and I'd wager that those properties "win" simply by existing in a competition-free environment. It takes a long time to produce animation, so almost anything greenlit right now is looking at a full year for turnaround. If you talk to people in the industry right now about jobs, they use words like "wastelend" and "ramen noodles".
Then you've got A.I., of course. The other night I was having dinner with a friend and I found myself in the A.I. conversation I always imagined myself having one day-- the one where we're talking with some immediacy about what the rest of our futures look like as artists, because we know they're not going to look the same ever again. It was pretty cool in a William Gibson sort of way, but I honestly didn't expect to be having that conversation for another decade. Turns out A.I. is becoming a problem right now.
I've already talked about the "art theft" angle, and that's not the problem I'm speaking about here. The problem I'm talking about is the "what do I do when what I do becomes trivial?" problem. If anyone can make a TV show or movie in a week or a day using AI assistance, who determines what gets seen? Networks, I'd imagine, would become redundant. You don't need to fork over $15 a month for Netflix if you can make Netflix-quality content yourself. And if you can't make anything decent even with A.I. assistance, surely someone on the internet can. There would be an incredible glut of content to choose from, so again... who decides what gets seen? An algorithm, probably. Who owns the algorithm?
Peak Dark Age will be the time period when the networks realize that they're going to die, and sink all of their resources into forcing their own survival on the rest of us. I imagine massive layoffs (you don't need multiple writers or artists or support staff when you've got the right tools.) Studios will want to own the tools (of course) and/or suppress the use of those tools by anyone who might want to cut into their profits. Expect to see "A.I. is just too dangerous for the public to utilize, so it needs to be left in the capable hands of corporations". Expect to see customizable Batmans, the ability to put your mom in any Star Wars, and the serialized fever-dreams of billionaires.
I think that's the next 5-10 years. And while that's happening, the tools will keep getting better and better until literally anyone can sit down, ask for an Oscar-worthy part-rom-com/part action movie starring a twenty-five year old Steve McQueen and and eighty year old Daniel Radcliffe rescuing Air Bud from the Death Star, and then watch the resulting film with some degree of satisfaction. There'll come a point when content of any visual, auditory, and written complexity can be generated on-the-fly, and the traditional limits of budgets and schedules will just be gone.
It's easy to spin off into fantasy and try to guess exactly what's coming. I could probably spin on that all day. But what I know is that the future of the animation industry won't look anything like what I've become accustomed to. And maybe that's okay because what I've become accustomed to looks nothing like the industry I started in. Things change, and you roll with the punches. Thanks to the self-fulfilling dystopian prophecy we find ourselves in, just about everyone on the planet is finding themselves rolling with the punches coming from the Powerful Greedy. That's less a "me problem"
and more a planet-wide problem we should probably all sit down and hash out, like, yesterday.
My immediate problem as an artist (and yours if you're an artist too) is figuring out how to get your ideas seen in a world where the amount of entertainment content is exploding exponentially. Especially if you're the sort of artist who needs to eat and live somewhere.
So yeah, I think there's going to be just a little peppering of Dark Age coming up. But in every time of change, there are opportunities. Hey, I'm down for an animated Dark Fantasy movie. Let's do this!
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Alone || Split up
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When they had got back to the church, they pushed the trolleys up the stairs and into the place.
Abraham was under the bus, fixing it up whilst Rosita helped him.
Sully ran towards Natalia, barking as his tail wagged, but he halted when he sniffed her, walking in a circle as he ran his nose along her legs, trying to work out what it was.
"What the hell happened to you?" Carol asked, looking down at her from the steps, Daryl was smoking, as he leaned against the railing.
"Oh, y'know, just a leisurely swim in walker infested water, that has been brewing for god knows how long, heh, get it, god knows." She pointed at the church. "Anyway, I got a cool jacket." Natalia shrugged, "I'm going to be fishing walker goop out of crevices for a week, and almost got killed cause of a priest, all in a days work."
"What?" Daryl asked, talking to her for the first time in a while, looking around for Gabriel.
"Got scared, shoved me out of his way as he tried to flee, totally bombed it though."
"Did you get hurt?" Carol asked, Daryl was still scanning the brunette, like he was trying to find any injuries.
"Nope, no bites, no scratches, all good."
"Are you sure?" She pressed.
"Yes, you want me to strip so you can check?" Natalia huffed, walking past the pair and heading into the church, Sully walked beside her. "I'm offended people ask me that so often, I can handle myself."
"It's okay to accept the fact that people love and care about you." Carol called after her.
Later that night, when the sun had set, The group sat around the church, enjoying their first proper meal together in a long time, chatting and laughing, enjoying each others company, feeling at peace for the first time in a long time.
Glenn and Tara had formed a game of how high can Sully catch, where they would take in turns throwing a piece of food into the air and see the furthest he could catch it from, the people around them found this pretty amusing, pitying the dog by giving him a spoonful from their own plate, he was definitely enjoying the buffet.
"I'd like to propose a toast." Abraham gathered the rooms attention, standing at the front of the room with a glass of wine in hand.
Michonne and Natalia took their seats beside each other as everyone went quiet, waiting to see what the man had to say.
"I look around this room and I see survivors." He started. "Each and everyone of you has earned that title. To the survivors."
"Survivors! Cheers!" Everyone chanted, raising their glasses.
"Is that all you want to be?" Abraham continued, Natalia knew where this was going, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat? 'Cause you can do that. I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip. Eugene, what's in DC?"
"Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics. Even of this Fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge. Restart."
"However this plays out, however long it takes for this restart button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you've been since this whole thing started. Come with us. Save the world for that little one. Save it so you can take your dog on walks without fear of it ending up something's dinner. Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there... who don't got nothing left to do except survive."
Judith began to make noises, as she sat on her fathers lap.
"What was that?" Rick asked her as people laughed. "I think she knows what I'm about to say. She's in. If she's in, I'm in. We're in. Let's do it."
Everyone cheered and clapped for the plan, Sully let out a howl, joining in on the noise, Tara copied the dog, letting out her own howl.
After a while, people gradually went outside, getting some fresh air.
"Has anyone who's gone outside come back yet?" Natalia asked Rick, looking around.
"Sasha went out to look for Bob, said he'd been out for a while." Tyreese weighed in.
"Carol and Daryl's been gone for a while, too." Natalia hummed.
"Alright, me and Tyreese will go look for them, everyone stay here, I don't want anyone else disappearing." Rick said, standing up.
"I'll help." Natalia offered, going to stand up, but Rick stopped her, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"No, I need you here, to keep an eye on Gabriel, he does anything, I know you can handle it, we'll find them." He assured her.
"But-"
"Natalia, I need you in here." He repeated.
"Fine, take Sully, he'll be able to sniff them out from anywhere, especially Daryl." She mused, knowing full well how much fond the dog and man were of each other, even if Daryl didn't express it, but she could tell by the way he kept Sully's rabbit in his back pocket If the dog had forgotten it, or dropped it when something else caught his attention.
"We'll take care of him." Rick nodded.
"I know you will." She offered a small smile.
Natalia was sat in a pew, her eyes never left the father, watching his every move, her gun in her hand, resting in her lap.
The other people went about doing their own thing, waiting for the arrival of their family to return.
The doors opened with loud creaks, Tyreese, Rick and Sully returned with Sasha, but no Bob, Daryl or Carol.
Sasha walked towards Father Gabriel.
"Stop." She told the man in a hushed voice.
He stared at her, pausing the motion of pouring himself another glass of wine.
"What are you doing?" She asked. "What are you doing?" She repeated, much more slower, when he had yet to answer. "This is all connected. You show up, we're being watched, and now three of us are gone."
"I..." He started. "I don't... I don't have anything to do with this."
Sasha pulled out her knife, walking towards the man as he backed up.
"Wait!"
"Don't!" Rosita ordered, lunging forward, but Abraham grabbed a hold of her.
"Sasha, put it away." Tyreese told his younger sister.
"Who's out there?" Sasha asked, ignoring the other people in the room.
"I... I don't have anything to do with this." Gabriel put his hands up in surrender.
"Where are our people?"
"I don't have anything to..."
"Where are our people?" Sasha screamed at him.
"Please, I don't have anything to do with this."
Rick pulled Sasha back, taking her place.
"Why'd you bring us here?" He asked.
"I... I... please." Gabriel stuttered.
"Are you working with someone?"
"I'm alone. I'm alone. I was always alone."
"What about the woman in the food bank, Gabriel?" Rick pushed forward. "What did you do to her? "You'll burn for this." That was for you. Why? What are you going to burn for, Gabriel?"
Gabriel had yet to answer him, ticking the man off even more.
Rick grabbed him by the collar, pushing him against the table full of candles.
"What? What did you do?" He shouted, his jaw clenched. "What did you do?" He pushed the man away, taking a step back.
"I lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night." He repeated, breaking down. "I always- They started coming, my congregation. Atlanta was bombed the night before and they were scared. They were- They were looking for a safe place, a place where they felt safe. And it was so early. It was so early. And the doors were still locked. You see... it was my choice. There were so many of them and they were trying to pry the shutters and banging on the sidings, screaming at me. And so the dead came for them. Women... children. Entire families calling my name as they were torn apart, begging me for mercy. Begging me for mercy. Damning me to Hell." He sobbed. "I buried their bones. I buried it all. The lord sent you here to finally punish me." He collapsed to the ground as he continued to cry.
Natalia was feeling more angry by the second, he was the sole reason that countless of families had suffered brutally, because he couldn't be bothered to help them, to offer shelter, and he was feeling sorry for himself?
"I'm damned. I was damned before. I always lock the doors. I always lock the doors."
A whistle sounded outside the church, Sully began barking and howling at the door, Natalia headed towards him, pulling the dog away as Glenn headed for the window.
"There's something... There's someone outside lying in the grass."
Sasha had ran for the door.
"Sasha." Rick followed.
The others chased after them, running outside.
"Oh! Bob!" Sasha shouted, as everyone set their sights on the passed out Bob.
Two walkers were heading for them.
"His leg." Maggie looked in horror, Bob's left leg was missing.
"Get Bob inside. We'll take care of them." Glenn ordered, him heading for the first walker as Natalia ran to the other, her knife pushing into it's eye.
"Can you help me, please? Help me. Help me." Sasha sobbed to Tara, trying to pick her boyfriend up.
"Get inside! Go!"
More walkers were appearing, Rick had started shooting at them as Natalia and Glenn ran back to help everyone with Bob.
"Rick!" Natalia called out, staring at the big red A that was painted on their wall.
"Let's go." He told her, pushing the small woman in the building and locking the door.
Everyone gathered around Bob, he had managed to wake up.
"I was in the graveyard. Somebody knocked me out." He told, once he was able to. I woke up outside this place. It looked like a school. It was that guy, Gareth. And five other ones."
Natalia looked at Rick, they were the ones who demanded to finish it off.
"They were eating my leg, right in front of me. Like it was nothing. All proud like they had it all figured out."
"Did they have Daryl and Carol?" Rick asked in a gentle tone.
"Gareth said they drove off."
"What?" Natalia hissed. Why the hell would they drive off? Unless... that black car.
Bob tried to sit up, groaning in agony.
"He's in pain. Do we have anything?" Sasha asked Rosita.
"I think we have a few pill packets in the first aid kit." Rosita said, getting up to fetch them.
"Yeah." Sasha nodded at her.
"Save 'em." Bob called towards her.
"No."
"Really." Bob sniffled as he sat up, pulling his T-shirt down to reveal a tear of flesh.
Bob was bitten.
"It happened at the food bank." He told Sasha, who stared wide eyed at it.
"It's okay." She whispered, helping him lay back down.
"Bob?" Sasha asked, when he fell. Tara caught his head, so he didn't hit it on the floor.
"There's a sofa in my office." Gabriel offered. "I know its not much, but..."
"Thank you."
"I got him." Tyreese stood up, helping Bob into the office.
Rick and Natalia moved towards the father, seeming to have the same thought.
"Do you know the place Bob was talking about?" Rick beat her to it.
"It's an elementary school. It's close."
"How close." Natalia asked, before he even finished the word.
He hesitated.
"How close?" Rick pushed.
"It's just a 10-minute walk through the woods from here, due south of the graveyard."
Judith started to cry, so Carl carried her into the other room, in her basket.
"Does he have a fever?" Rick asked Maggie.
"He's just warm."
"Jim lasted more than two days before we left him." Glenn remembered.
"Time for a reality check." Abraham called out. "We all need to leave for DC right now."
"No way! Not when Daryl and Carol are missing." Natalia snapped.
"They're gonna be back." Rick agreed. "We're not going anywhere without them."
"I respect that, but there's a clear threat here, to Eugene. I need to extract his ass before things get any uglier. So if y'all won't come, good luck to you. We'll go our separate ways."
"Well, bye!" Natalia waved at the large man.
"You leaving on foot?" Rick asked his retreating back.
"We fixed that damn bus ourselves." Abraham turned around.
"There are a lot more of us." Rick marched towards him.
"You want to keep it that way? You should come."
"Carol saved your life. We saved your life."
"Well, I am trying to save yours! Save everyone's."
"We're not going anywhere without our people."
"Your people took off."
"They're coming back."
"To what, picked-over bones?"
"You're not taking-" Rick reached for the man.
"Do not lay your hands!" Abraham grabbed him.
Natalia took her gun off safety whilst Glenn ran over to intervene.
"Abraham!" Rosita shouted.
"Hey, hey, stop! Now!" Glenn came in the middle of the pair, creating distance. "Do you really think that you're gonna be any safer leaving right now, in the middle of the night?" Glenn asked Abraham.
"Yeah." Abraham nodded. "Yeah."
"What about tomorrow? We need each other for this. We need each other to get to DC. We can get through all of it together." Glenn expressed.
"I have an idea." Tara stepped forward. "If you stay here just one more day and help, I'll go with you to DC no matter what." Abraham seemed to think this over, when she turned to Maggie. "Okay?"
"Glenn and Maggie, too."
"No." Rick declined.
"Good luck, then. I'm not interested in breaking up what you have here. Rosita, grab your gear."
"Abraham."
"Now." He ordered. "Eugene, let's go. Eugene. Move it."
"I don't want to." Eugene stayed seated.
"Now." Abraham growled.
"Okay." The scientist whispered, getting up from the pew.
The three moved towards the door.
"You're not taking the bus." Rick told him.
"Try to stop me." He responded.
Rick waited a moment, before walking towards the redhead, who passed his gun to Rosita.
"Hey, wait, wait wait, wait, wait, wait!" Glenn ran forward, breaking them up again. "Hey, hey, hey!"
He looked between the pair before speaking again.
"You stay. You stay and help us, and we will go with you."
"No." Rick refused.
"It's not your call." He looked back to Abraham. "You stay, help us."
"Half a day." Abraham bargained. "Come high noon, we're taillights. I'm not waiting for the other damn shoe to drop."
"And we will leave with you." Maggie spoke up.
"12 hours." He declared. "Then we go." He walked towards the first pew, narrowly missing barging into Rick.
The group gathered around, as Rick hatched out the plan of action to put an end to Terminus as they loaded up guns and got ready for the fight.
"We're in here and they could be anywhere." Rick said. "But we know exactly where they are."
"Plans got stones, I'll give you that." Abraham said.
"Make our move before they do." Glenn nodded.
"That's right." Rick nodded. "They're not counting on us thinking straight"
"But what if that's their idea." Natalia thought out loud. "Draw us out to their spot and leave our vulnerable unprotected, give themselves leverage, just like how they used Carl at the train carts."
"Then we make sure we get to them first, before they get the chance." Rick said. "Tyreese."
"Yeah?"
"You up for this?" Rick asked the man, who looked to be somewhere else.
He didn't answer, their attention moved towards Sasha, who had walked out of the office.
"I'm going with you." She declared.
"You should stay with Bob." Tyreese told her.
"No, I want to be out there. I want to be apart of this."
She didn't give anyone a chance to argue, walking back into the office.
Tyreese went after her.
The group carried on, whilst the siblings spoke in the office.
Rick had took on what Natalia had suggested, Carl, Judith, Gabriel, Rosita, Eugene and Tyreese sat in the office with Bob's passed out body, Sully paced around the room, missing his owner and sensing that something was happening.
If the cannibals were to turn up, they would be ready to deal with them.
The remaining members of the group vacated the church, heading into the woods and towards the elementary school.
When they had got there, the place was empty, no one in sight, a fire was put out recently.
"I knew it!" Natalia hissed.
"Go, lets go!" Rick ordered, and they all ran back towards the church.
They had got back quickly.
Before she was given a chance to get turned down by Rick, Natalia sneaked up the steps and into the open doors, the rest were on her tail, making sure they were deadly silent.
"Are we done?" A man with a hood up asked, he was stood behind Gareth.
"We'll hit the hinges." Gareth said lowly, gesturing for the two people who were stood outside the office to do exactly that.
Before they were given the chance, Natalia shot down the man, than the woman at the door to their people.
"Put your guns on the floor." Rick had walked further into the church, the end of the building looked pitch black to the enemies, not a person was in sight.
"Rick, we'll fire into that office. So you lower your gun..." Gareth pointed at the door.
Rick took aim, shooting the mans two fingers straight off as he screamed in agony.
"Not nice when someone takes your body parts off, is it?" Natalia pouted, staying in the shadow, her gun aimed at the next potential threat.
"Ah!" Gareth whimpered, keeling over.
"Put your guns on the floor and kneel." Rick repeated, walking forwards.
"Do what he says." Gareth groaned.
Natalia put her gun away, taking out her knife as Terminus followed the order.
"Martin there's no choice here." Gareth told the only person who wasn't kneeling.
"Yeah, there is." Martin disagreed.
Abraham stepped towards him, his gun pointed at the mans head.
"Wanna bet?"
He threw his gun down, kneeling.
The group stood in front of the surrendering cannibals, Sasha and Rick had boxed Gareth in as he moved around on the floor, looking at Rick.
"No point in begging, right?" He asked.
"No." Rick breathed.
"Still, you could of killed us when you came in. There had to be a reason for that."
"We didn't want to waste the bullets." Rick shrugged.
"We used to help people. We saved people. Things changed, they came in and After that I know that you've been out there, but I can see it. You don't know what it is to be hungry. You don't have to do this. We can walk away. And we will never cross paths again. I promise you."
But you'll cross someone's path." Rick said. "You'd do this to anyone, right? Besides, I already made you a promise." Rick pulled out his red handled machete, slashing it into the man's head.
This was the signal, to attack the other terminus members.
Michonne, Sasha, Natalia and Abraham attacked them brutally as the others watched in horror.
Natalia slit one of the men's throat, blood spraying around as she kneed him in the face, letting him fall on his back as he choked on his blood, before ending his misery and stomping hard on his skull, smashing it into brain matter and goop.
The room was silent when they had dealt with every single one, blood, stained the floor of the church pooling on the wood and the carpet, as mangled bodies layed across it.
Michonne had found something among the Terminus's stuff, pulling it out, to reveal her missing sword.
"It could have been us." Rick told the group.
"They gave us a reason, we were just food to them." Natalia agreed, wiping her knife on the dead bodies shirt. "This was self defence."
"Yeah." Sasha whispered, her voice shaking as she took in what she had just done.
Gabriel stared in horror at what had happened in his holy sanctuary, Rick, Natalia, Abraham and Sasha passed him, walking into the office to check on their loved ones.
"This is the Lords house." Gabriel uttered.
"No." Maggie denied. "It's just four walls and a roof."
The sun had rose, and Bob was losing the battle against the fever, everyone gathered around the office to say their final goodbyes.
"You'll always be with us." Maggie told the man. "Part of us." She kissed his hand, smiling at him reassuringly.
"And, if It clears your conscience, I forgive you for the time you went to shoot me." Natalia teased, as they both laughed, smiling at each other.
"I'm glad I didn't." He told her.
The group went to leave the man in peace, Sasha moving towards him.
"Rick." Bob called out to their leader.
Natalia took Judith off his hands, so he could talk to Bob.
"Come here, Judy." Natalia cooed, walking outside the room, Carl beside her.
She sat on the pew, Judith on her lap, and Carl next to her, petting Sully, Judith reached out for the dog, grabbing at his ears.
Natalia wondered if he was reminded of someone else, the same person she was thinking off as she watched the baby interact with the dog, who was gentle and patient as anything, making the little girl giggle as he licked at her hands, that Natalia made sure went nowhere near her face before being cleaned.
"He's good with kids." Carl said.
"He's good with everyone." Natalia smiled. "I got really lucky with him."
"Do you think Daryl and Carols gonna come back?"
"Of course they will, something probably just came up and they had to deal with it, they wouldn't leave us." She tried to reassure him.
Soon enough, noon had come.
Sasha sat by Bob's grave, wearing his jacket as she made sure the cross was tied securely.
Abraham was bidding Rick, Michonne and Natalia goodbye.
"This is our route to DC." He said, handing Rick a map. "We'll stick to it as long as we're able. If not, well, you got our destination. Once Eugene gets to the big brains left up there, things are gonna bounce back. This group should be there for it. You should be there for it."
"They will be." Maggie assured.
"We will." Michonne nodded.
"We will." Rick repeated.
"I guess we will." Natalia joined in.
Abraham nodded, turning around and back to the bus.
"Let's go."
"You both better be safe, save the world for all of us." Natalia told Glenn and Maggie, hugging both of them.
"You better make sure everyone here is alright." Glenn told her, patting her back and stepping away, patting Sully's head.
"Keep her out of trouble." Maggie told the dog, patting his head as well as he let out a woof of agreement.
The DC group got into the bus, as the others stood on the steps of the church.
Rick and Abraham shared another nod before the redhead closed the doors of the bus, setting off on their journey.
At night, Natalia sat on the front steps of the church, keeping lookout, but also wanting to keep an eye out for Carol and Daryl, they still hadn't come back, she missed them both, and was driving herself mad, coming up with loads of different scenarios of what could of happened, if it wasn't for the fact that she had no idea where they could be, she would be out looking for them, she knew that she was being harsh and cold towards the pair, especially with Daryl, but she didn't know how to act around him, after what happened, they were equally mad at each other, how they handled the claimers, and they weren't given a chance to hash it out, but he had made it obvious that he still cared and worried about her, she just couldn't deal with it, when everything was still so fresh, and she could feel the lingering weight, the bruises and cuts on her face still stung, her back was itching as the graze was scabbing over, it was too much, she felt she was suffocating but she didn't have the time to cry for herself, to reflect on the events, Natalia had to push through, put her energy into protecting her friends.
Michonne had come outside, sitting beside her friend, her sword in her lap. Neither woman had to say anything, just sat in each others company as they battled their own thoughts.
Longer into the night, the door opened, Father Gabriel stepped out.
"I can't sleep." He announced, leaning against the wooden rail. "And now, sitting in there... Quiet."
Natalia, nor Michonne answered him.
"It isn't just what happened last night. Saying what happened before out loud, I see it all again. I hear them."
"Yeah." Michonne whispered. "That won't stop."
"But it'll get quieter." Natalia added.
"And it won't be all the time."
A rustling sound cut the conversation.
Natalia jumped up, grabbing her knife, as Michonne slowly followed, signalling to Gabriel to be quiet, who went back inside.
Natalia moved towards the sound, Michonne was right behind her, unsheathing her sword.
They walked towards the trees, where the sound had come from, but not being able to see anything.
Something was emerging from the leaves, coming towards them.
It was Daryl.
Natalia stepped towards him, hitting his chest before wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, as he put his arm around her middle, as Michonne laughed, breathing in a sigh of relief.
"Where the hell were you? Where's Carol?" She asked, looking behind him, but not seeing the woman.
Daryl stepped back from Natalia, looking over his shoulder.
"Come on out." He said.
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#daryl dixon#daryl dixon smut#the walking dead daryl#twd daryl#carl grimes#carol peletier#daryl fanfiction#glenn rhee#michonne#rick grimes#twd daryl x y/n#daryl x you#daryldixonalonetwd#darylxnatalia#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixion imagine#daryl x y/n#daryl x reader#michonne hawthorne#beth greene#tyreese williams#sasha williams
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I was just thinking about everything that has occurred over the last year or so where Jensen is concerned and I wonder if his attitude has changed due to the life he knew during Supernatural days going away. I'm pretty sure he wasn't expecting the response that TW got, before it aired and after, and I get that some people think he's under the influence of toxic people, his stans, alcohol, and all that, but I think it's actually deeper than that.
I do think it's related to his ego, sure, but it really does seem like he wasn't ready for Supernatural to end when it did. Not so much for the show or even the character of Dean, but for everything that came along with it. He was literally a big fish in a small pond, a CW golden boy in a way (along with Jared), and now all of that has changed. Mark Pedowitz is no longer there, the CW has new ownership, he is not finding the lead roles he wants, everything he says and does is not just automatically accepted 100% by the fandom anymore, the pandemic happened, Rust happened, he was used to working away from home a certain amount of time and then he was stuck at home during the pandemic, the show didn't get to end the way he and Jared wanted it to (wrap party included) due to the pandemic, all of this stuff and more.
This guy literally had the life he wanted and now it's changed drastically. If you watch his interviews and con videos and even Instagram videos from 2018 and on before March 2020 hit, there is such a different vibe there. I know people say he never loved his wife, I don't really know (or care to be honest) but there's definitely a different vibe about him around her back then compared to now. Especially when they were opening up FBBC. I know a lot of people like to point to that one interview video with his look at her joking about being pregnant but if you watch some of the other interviews, he seems to vibe better with her than he has the whole past year (when we've seen them together like NYCC). It's almost as if him losing Supernatural and the ability to go to Vancouver for 9 months out of the year, coming back home when he wanted to, and them being forced together 24 7 in quarantine must have made an impact. And then TW on top of it and how that turned out to be a reality check for both of them that not everyone just accepts the crap they're doling out because of Jensen's name or looks. Jared was ready to say goodbye to Supernatural. I think by all accounts, Jensen was not. Jared had the next job lined up, waiting for him. Jensen didn't. So his whole trajectory over this past year makes a lot of sense to me. I think it's finally hitting him (if it hasn't already) that he is now in a bigger pond but he's not that big fish anymore. Hence the flailing and absolute shit show we're all seeing happen along with the desperate PR attempts. And it's just really sad.
Anyway, I was just thinking after seeing everything everyone was discussing these past two weeks, especially his "suck it" comment to haters at Crossroads.
I can't remember if I mentioned the same on this blog, or somewhere else, but yeah, going from the top-dog in his sphere and having a steady job with a steady schedule to suddenly having his entire world turned upside-down in the matter of a couple of years has to be very jarring.
Unfortunately, his way of processing change is to apparently get bitter and resentful instead of putting in the work and making the necessary changes to improve his situation. What's that saying? "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." Right now, Jensen's dressing the part of the desperate, washed-up actor, catering to the dregs of the SPN fandom.
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I wholeheartedly agree that this is completely PR, and the pap walk at Central Park is what really sealed the deal for me. There are a few things about it that are just OFF about the walk itself, from the timing of those photos, their body language, them wearing masks/sunglasses to the photographer being the SAME exact photographer from the pap walks with Lily. So here are some of my thoughts:
First off, the timing. The timing of everything is just so blatantly PR that I'm surprised more people aren't seeing it. Chris gets named SMA, a "source" from People says they're official and "serious" and have been together for a year, pap photos appear of them walking together at the park, and the new season of her Netflix show comes out on the same day, ALL within a week. Already, too many things are happening too close together for this to be natural, especially seeing that we haven't heard a peep about them leading up to this (other than him liking her IG posts related to her projects). The timing of how everything is rolling out is definitely screaming PR.
Second, the pap walk itself. I'm so grateful to whoever the person was that uploaded the video (I saw on twitter it was a woman who wanted to capture the path/view of central park that also just so happened to capture them stunting along with it, but really who knows), because it's extremely revealing to me. If it's true that these two have been together for a year, and they're supposed to be "serious" and in love etc etc, they certainly don't look like a couple that fits that description. Now, if they ARE truly together, multiple factors can certainly be at play. Even if they are actually together, they could absolutely still be doing a planned pap walk; celebrities do it all the time! But it's certainly not Chris' style, especially for the women he's in a genuine, private relationship with (he certainly didn't do this type of stuff with Jenny, who I do believe he was really with). It could also be the case that, if they're actually together, they were just nervous about being recognized out in public, and thus wore the masks AND shades for good measure. But even taking ALL of this into account, I'm still not buying it. Chris has said many times in the past that he's a hopeless romantic and an extremely touchy-feely person. He loves being physically affectionate with his partners (these are words I recall him saying in a past interview, maybe not verbatim, but alas). So keeping that in mind, what we saw in the video was the exact opposite of that. They were walking quite fast, as if they wanted to get things over with quickly (and on that, isn't a leisurely, romantic stroll in the park while you're holding your partner's hand, talking and enjoying their company supposed to be the point of a nice walk in the park? Like, what are they in such a rush for? I mean, unless they're exercising and trying to get their heart up, which I highly doubt lol), their body language was rigid and awkward, Chris was hunched over almost as if he was trying to make himself smaller and unassuming to those around him... It all just seems so forced. Like, there are so many other places you can go to that aren't so public if you're that worried about being spotted. So I wonder why they chose to go to Central Park in particular? Oh, because it's for PR.
Third, the masks and the sunglasses. I get that we're still in a pandemic, so masking up in public is never a bad thing in my opinion, but they just looked so completely out of place. If they actually wanted to look less assuming, they failed miserably because they stuck out like a sore thumb. Furthermore, them wearing masks is the first thing that REALLY stuck out to me when I saw the pap photos that immediately screamed PR. Sidenote, but I listen to this really good celebrity blind item/gossip podcast where I learned about this exact thing. The hosts talk to people within the industry and expose a bunch of PR tactics (which lemme tell you, Chris and Alba are checking off like it's goddamn PR bingo), and one point they made about paparazzi photos is super relevant here. So according to them, if you see a celebrity being papped and they're wearing a mask, it's without a doubt, 100% PR and planned. The reason being, before the pandemic, for the most part, if a celebrity was papped, they obviously wouldn't have been wearing a mask, so their identities were much more easily verifiable and could thus be sold off. It is true that some celebrities just so happen to come across paparazzi completely unplanned while they're out and about (especially in cities like New York and LA), and in those instances they get their pictures taken because 'Oooh look! Celebrity is out doing normal things!'. However, once the pandemic hit and celebrities started masking up out in public, it became practically impossible for a paparazzo, who say, just so happened to spot a man who looks EXACTLY like [insert celeb here], and verify said celeb's identity. Even if the paparazzo felt, without a shadow of a doubt, that the celebrity they encountered was indeed that celebrity, they still wouldn't be able to sell those photos anywhere without 100% proof that the celebrity in question was ACTUALLY them, and not just someone who happened to look like them (because then the photos would be worthless in value). And THAT, kids, is how you know that virtually ALL pap photos where the celebrity is wearing a mask is either called in by the celebrity themself OR their PR team/management. Because then and only then do they have concrete proof and verification from the celebrity/pr team that yes, [insert celebrity here] will be walking around in Central Park at this exact time and at this exact place, so be there. It's 100% planned.
And that is the end of my ramblings (for now!). This ended up being EXTREMELY longer than I thought it would be, but I just had to get all of my thoughts out concerning this!!! If you got through this, thanks so much for being an ear! I definitely have a million more thoughts on why this entire situation is completely sus, but I just wanted to let you know that you're 100% valid and not crazy (like I've seen some people say to those who are questioning this whole thing).
Thank you so much for sharing this with me and with us! Where you talked about the mask was so interesting that I cut that out because I think it's such an important point:
Thanks again ❤️
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Today went really fast. But I had a good time. James is at work and I'm watching a video. I just got done painting my nails. I feel tired but I'm also feeling happy.
I didn't sleep great. Neither did James. They didn't go for their planned bike ride. And woke me up at 9 and laid with me for a while. But soon I was getting up and James made the bed and we decided that we would go out for breakfast since they didn't have to be in till later.
We just kind of sat around for a little while because we weren't in any rush but once James felt ready and we got everything together we got in the car to go to Southside diner. I love Southside diner but since the pandemic they stopped being open until 7:00 p.m. an hour only open till 2:30. So we almost never get to go there. But I really like them so I'm glad we got to go over there.
When we got there James locked their bike to the car and then we went inside and they got blueberry pancakes and I got a grilled cheese with a scrambled egg. Our waitress was super nice. And I enjoyed sitting and talking to James and listening to other people's conversations and it was a good time. My stomach started to hurt about halfway through which keeps happening lately. But I tried to slow down and be mindful and not force myself to eat all of the french fries. I sometimes have to play this line between wasting food and finishing everything to the point where I don't feel well. But James ate some of the fries and that made me feel better about the wasting at least.
We left there and went over to the museum. We both use the bathroom and said hello to back up. But James didn't have to be at work until noon and they still had like 45 minutes so they went for a bike ride. And I left to go to the thrift store. Before I left I did talk to Stanley in the parking lot for a little while. It was really nice to see him. I got to see Stanley and Mr Will this week that is excellent. I love both of them and they both remind me of each other so much. I think that they would be friends.
I went to value village and I had an excellent thrift haul. I started out looking at books because I'm always looking for dear Americas. I ended up finding two dear Americas and a My America which is not the same but is the same company. I also looked at the purses but I did not find anything I liked today. Not that I need another bag but you know I like looking. And then I walked the whole perimeter. I found another Curio box for the wall. I'm very excited about this one because it's got smaller containers normal. And then I decided to look at dresses because I'm still looking for something for the wedding we're going to in October.
I found so many good pieces of clothing today. And once I got it home only one of them didn't fit me. So I am tickled to death. I found this beautiful blue dress that is got just a band at the top with these adorable little strings. And I did have to take out the armpits a little bit because it was a little tight but once I did that it is perfect and I love it. It looks good by itself and with a belt. And then I found this great black jumpsuit that is a little special. And I found a t-shirt dress that I really liked I think is going to be great for layering when it gets colder. I found a yellow dress but I can add to my market wardrobe. I was just having the best time. And I also found a brand new, or close to brand new, pair of tevas. And they're the nicer version that have the thicker soles. So I was super excited because they were only $5. I was having just an excellent time.
Everything all in all is about $45 too so that was exciting and while I was in there apparently it rained.
This is important because it kind of taints the rest of the day. while James was on their bike ride apparently it down poured for a few minutes and James was over by Hanover bridge and didn't know if they should wait it out and then decided not to and their phone got absolutely soaking wet. And it is ruined. It won't work at all anymore and I felt so bad that that happened. Because it has not rained at all for the rest of the day. It was just those few minutes while James was outside. And James feels terrible because it's one of those things where it could have been prevented it's just bad luck. But they have to buy a new phone now. Because water damage isn't covered by insurance apparently. And they got one that's being delivered tomorrow and it's fine it's not going to be a big deal in the end. It's just one of those things that happens and it's an emergency and we have savings and it's fine. But it's still sucks. And I know James feels terrible about it. But we will make it more. Everything will be okay.
In the meantime at least the watch that I gave them still gives them notifications and we can message each other on Instagram and through email when we needed to talk throughout the day. It sucks that today was a day where they're working so much later so we have to be apart for so much longer while they do not have an easy way for me to communicate with them. But it's fine. They will be home in a few hours and I will do my best to make them feel like everything is okay because it is. They didn't do anything on purpose and it's not that big of a deal. The new phone has a better water resistance rating. I looked it up.
After I finished at the value village I was going to go over to the lidel but the what over there apparently closed? So I instead drove down the street to go to Target.
This saved me time in a few ways. First of all I needed to get chocolate and gum so Target's a great place for that. But I also need to get cat food and it worked out going there because some of the cat food that sweet pea eats was on clearance. So I got a whole bunch of boxes of that and I got some dry food. And I also got some chips. And it was just a good little stop. Once I finish there I went right home.
When I got back here I had to make two trips to bring everything inside. But I would do that later. I brought in all the clothes and all of the stuff I bought and would leave the cat food.
When I got up here I did a little haul tour for Jess. Showed her all the pictures of everything I bought. And then I tried everything on and I figured out what things need work. The one dress I got needs to be taken in in the chest and the blue dress needed the armpits let out so I worked on that and I love how it turned out. And then it was just kind of like hanging out and putting things away and then I went to get the cat food. Sweet pea was very excited that there was new dry food. I got him a fancy flavor. Then I read for a little while. I vacuumed. And then I started working on some sewing.
I cut out 24 frogs. I haven't made a frog in like 2 years. So this was very exciting. They're all going to have little tongues again like I used to do and I ended up finishing two completely today and two more just need to be stuffed and then assembled. I'm hoping I can finish a couple more tomorrow. Still haven't figured out a better way to do all four legs but I did figure out a new way to attach the back legs at least. I'm going to experiment with the next ones but doing them on the sides just makes them look like somebody stepped on them so I don't like that. But it is progress and that is good. I also put beans in them for the first time which was kind of a mess but was fun and I like that they can be a little weighty. It's not exactly right though so I don't know if I will do that to all of them. Still a lot of fun though.
I worked on my art for a few hours and it has been a very nice afternoon. I read for a little while. And then I took the nail polish off ofmy nails. I took a bath and then I worked on combining some of my lotions which was something that need to get done. And then I worked on soaking the hammocks again. We figured out that we could get the carabiner off of one of them but the other two they will not come off so they still have to be hand washed. And I worked on scrubbing those for a while but it's still not done. But I can only do it for so long because it's exhausting. They just get so heavy!
But now I am waiting for my nails to dry. And I'm having lemonade. And I just fed the frog and I'm watching him swim around. I'm going to go feed the fish and maybe work on figuring out how to take this dress in. James is working at the museum until 8:00 and then hopefully they will be home quickly after that. I miss them very much when they are not here.
I'm not sure what I'm doing tomorrow. All of my tasks have really been accomplished. There's not much more that I desire to do. So we will see what tomorrow holds. I hope that you all have a great night tonight and you take care of yourselves and each other. Sleep well. Until next time.
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Masks were mandatory at my college until maybe March or April. It felt so weird seeing everyone without masks in the classrooms. It also felt weird how a lot of folks were acting like they were finally being liberated from some great burden. I don't always like wearing masks, but it became habitual. I mean, I wore masks every day for at least 10 hrs each day for almost 2 years, so ofc it became habitual. But my parents (who never liked a lot of pandemic mandates) would get so...weird?? Whenever they visited and I was wearing a mask. My dad especially, like I'd get into the car with my mask still on out of habit and he'd get genuinely pissed, like "why are you still wearing that" no matter how many times I explained I just wear it all the time, I forgot it was there, it's not a big deal, and he'd still be mad. So then I'd started to feel guilty about wearing masks whenever my parents were around, like what if I am a sheep—and I knew I wasn't, but they clearly thought it was stupid and (tho they never said it) I was stupid, and so I couldn't help but wonder what if it is? What if I am? So I get this guilt about wearing masks or asking for a mask when we're out in public, and then I'll feel guilty about not wearing a mask, and then I'll feel guilty whenever I have moments where I'm in public and not wearing a mask and realize that I feel guilty. I just never understood why they felt so strongly opposed to me doing it even tho I'm immunocompromised and had a bad scare where I was quarantined in 2021 only 2 months after I got out of ICU. I don't know if they understand, either. And now I feel so self-conscious about masks and I'm not sure how to analyze the source of that discomfort. And I'm feeling bad for not conforming to whomever's idea of what's right for me to do??? Or is it something less sinister but still troubling like I only care about making people happy????
Sorry about this, I don't mean to dump, just that your posts got me thinking and I don't see a lot of discussion about masks nowadays
It’s okay! Also like just to be clear, the whole sheep thing is horseshit and pure projection. the actual “sheep” are people who stop wearing masks the moment it’s no longer required by law. Wearing a mask is a public health decision the same way looking both ways before you cross the street is, the same way washing your hands when you go to the bathroom is. Yes it’s your personal individual “right” to run into traffic or take a shit and not wash your hands, but your actions have consequences that are potentially life threatening to other people. Those habits are a personal protection as much as they’re a protection for other people. and like I get weird looks a lot too, but at the end of the day you’re making a concerted effort to help yourself and other people, and you shouldn’t feel bad about that.
Also god my campus was similar. Like I’m biased and one of those assholes who is a genuine believer in the academy as an institution, but lifting the mask mandates seriously made me question the validity of academia (it’s not the only thing either, just the most recent lol). like what is the point of studying the virus if you’re just gonna lift mask mandates anyway
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can i say smth here. and i want to preface by establishing im not trying to start discourse i'm just having complicated thoughts n trying to rubber duck my way thru them. i'll stick it under a readmore just in case but i would like ppl's opinions as long as they are respectful
but i think alongside the phenomena of 'quarantine queers' (ppl who discovered they were queer during lockdown/the still ongoing pandemic) there is something similar going on with autism. i've seen a lot of folks on social media joking about 'probably having autism' but not wanting to unpack that, and i'm far from the person who's gonna police how ppl talk about themselves, but it rubs me the wrong way. to see so many people making jokes about autism and so many posts memifying it online + those posts going viral has made me feel so Weird because i've spent years talking about being autistic irl amd online and it's only ever made people uncomfortable. the way autism is talked about online vs irl is So different and idk. it's been bugging me. sometimes i'll have friends talk abt their habits/traits and when i gently suggest it could be because they're autistic, they always cringe and deny it. over and over it's treated like an Insult when i point out possible autistic signifiers which just Sucks because everyone i say that to knows i'm autistic. in the few cases where people start to accept they might be autistic, it kind of transitions into the 'quarantine queer' phenomena where they start making Being Autistic a whole Thing (and in one case, trying to mansplain stimming to me. this is not a joke). and again, i don't want to police the way anyone behaves or deals with their own lives it just Bothers Me. i know we're not supposed to talk about it being hard because that just adds fuel to the fire of people that want to cure or dismiss us but it has been so hard to be autistic. it's made my life a living hell and to see people who just want to reduce it to Laying On The Floor Time or Being A Little Socially Awkward is. frustrating to say the least. i think part of the issue i take with it is that like with being openly queer for most of my teenage years until now, since i found out i was autistic i've talked about it a lot and have always been met with people being uncomfortable at best. i went through hell for so long and i'm really glad other people might not have to, but it's frustrating to see this almost turned into a meme.
i don't think i have a big overarching point here just wanted to vent a little<3
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A few very random thoughts about 6.4 - I only got to play the MSQ last night, so no raid stuff or anything else here.
Aside, though - I am curious about how many patches we'll get this cycle. No cycle has gone past X.5x yet, but the fact that Japan's Fanfest isn't until January 2024, I don't expect to see 7.0 until at least February-March. On the current cycle, 6.5 would come out in October ... which, now that I count months, would make it about right for an expansion in February-ish. It just seems longer because they've been stretching out the patch cycle this time around. I don't begrudge them that, even if it feels like content has been waning. Pandemic plus avoiding crunch plus giving YoshiP and Soken and Koji and whoever else is working on FFXVI some breathing room are all things that deserve grace.
I've been taking a break from the game this year, though I might go back and start catching up casually now. But breaks are good, and it still feels like coming home to come back and see everyone in a patch.
Anyway. 6.4 MSQ thoughts!
First of all, a big fuck you to the tank who forced us to abandon my first attempt at Voidcast Dais because we wiped three times - progressing farther each time, I mighta dd. On the first fucking day, my dude. You're an asshole.
I am currently underwhelmed with the story as a whole, though sleeping on it makes me view it slightly more favorably. The whole sequence on the 13th moon seemed very poorly thought out. Though, I do think/hope the parallels between that and the Fandaniel-releases-Zodiark sequence in Endwalker are deliberate. What it's saying in a story sense, I don't know yet, but I'd like to think the FFXIV writing crew are better than to write two completely separate "hahaha, by defeating me in a trial you fell right into my trap and released a terrible evil from this crater on the moon!" sequences without knowing exactly what they're doing. Still, I would have liked a nod to that in dialogue; a simple "well this feels familiar" from Y'shtola or Estinien would have done.
Golbez still feels "eh," but I'm also aware I felt this way about the Warriors of Darkness in the 3.X patches, and they brought it back to gleefully stomp on my heart with them later, so I'm reserving the right to come back and revisit the whole patch story after 7.0 or later. But the FFIV inserts feel less natural than other FF references in this game. I don't know if it's because I know exactly what they're referencing this time around, or if it's genuinely just weird.
Mostly though, I want to know about all the little nods to future story they dropped here. Erenville's "homecoming" (is he from Meracydia? they keep name dropping it, that's almost certainly where we're going in 7.0 at this point), Krile's envelope, Thancred and Urianger's new "client" who wants Archons ... maybe some of it is from side stories from this patch I haven't gotten to yet, but I'm sure some of it is setting up for later.
I still have to do the Pandaemonium tier, and Tataru's quests, and I guess Hildebrand, though he's not my favorite - if I want to get any relic weapons, I guess I should catch up there. But I also really really need to go back and do alliance raids weekly. I had to spend like 2mil gil to get to the minimum IL for the trial last night, which thankfully I have plenty, but still. I'm so behind on gear, it's embarrassing.
I do miss having a group of people to be excited about FFXIV with. Maybe I'll figure that out this summer.
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hi hazel i'm late but if you're still in a chatty mood, what are your favourite 5sos/mashton headcanons? -taylor
@jbhmalumm omg sorry for the delay! i was unpacking stuff today
headcanons for rpf are fun because our "source material" doesn't provide a lot of detailed character information in the same way that a book or movie would and we're completely fictionalizing them anyway, so you can make basically everything up! so here are a few little tidbits, some of them more inspired by the actual boys than others
When on tour, Ashton loves going out to explore! He's gained a new appreciation for seeing the world after the pandemic locked everything down, and he tries to stop somewhere in every city they visit. Often, this is something as simple as going to breakfast with the boys and the crew. Michael, on the other hand, usually doesn't come with because he is the band homebody. He loves travelling too, but tour was a bigger adjustment for him and he needs time to be alone and chill. Calum will almost always go adventuring with Ashton, and while Luke does so more often than not, he's also more likely than the other two to stay back on the bus or hotel.
Ashton offers the boys massages whenever any of them have a knot in their muscles, and he's the most knowledgeable about how to take care of their bodies if they push them too far. He encourages all of them to take ice baths, although Luke is the only one who enjoys it
They're all decent cooks at this point, but Calum is amazing at cooking eggs. For some unknown reason, no one's eggs can match his, even though Ashton or Michael are a little bit better at cooking everything else. Luke has a specific type of cookie that he makes that the others love. The recipe is a very closely guarded secret to ensure that no one else learns how to make it better than him.
Michael and Ashton are wonderful at picking up exactly where they left off. The whole band is given how comfortable they are with each other (and how little time they spend apart) but Michael and Ashton might have less text or phone conversations when apart, but be able to pick up mid-conversation as soon as they get back in the room together. They also really enjoy doing two different things while in the same space together.
It's an inside joke that Michael was Ashton's original friend before the other two entered the picture. He uses it to win arguments even if it has absolutely nothing to do with the initial discussion.
my favorite romantic scenario for mashton is a slow and steady build where both of them are aware of it the entire time, but also scared of what could go wrong. both of them think it's just a little crush, then that their friendship and the band is too important to jeopardize and that the mutual attraction will shift to regular friendship, then after a few years they realize that the romantic feelings aren't going away and that they have nothing to worry about. once they're together, they're together. there's never a question of how permanent it is. they go from being friends directly to being life partners.
then because I'm going to the Renaissance Festival tomorrow, here are some ren fest headcanons!
Michael is the one who suggests that they go, because Michael absolutely loves the food and theatrics and fantasy elements.
Luke is the only one who dresses up at first in a simple shirt and trousers combo, but each year his costume gets more elaborate and the others slowly start to add costume pieces to their wardrobes, too
the first year they go, they stop by a hurdy gurdy performance and Calum becomes obsessed. all of them get the last song stuck in their head and hum it while walking around the fest, but calum finds a spotify playlist of hurdy gurdy music as soon as he gets home and saves it
They all spend an inordinate amount of time watching a blacksmith make a sword. Ashton says that he would love to learn something like that and asks the vendor about the blacksmithing process. Michael immediately googles blacksmithing classes near them and looks up how to build a home forge in the garage if Ashton enjoys the first class
Calum's favorite food at the fest is soup in a bread bowl. Ashton loves talking to all of the different vendors about their products. Luke really loves the street characters and pauses to watch as many little performances as possible. When they sit down for official shows, Michael somehow always gets picked for audience participation portions
Michael goes home absolutely sunburnt after every day at the festival. he also usually goes home with the most merch out of any of them, including a sword one year, some intricate maps, various leather pouches, dragon figurines, and other little trinkets, papers, and things collected from street performers
sleepover weekend
#ask#taylor#jbhmalumm#i hope these were satisfactory! i'm never sure what types of things to say when people ask about headcanons#but i like all of these ideas#especially the one about calum's supernatural egg cooking ability
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With the new BTS dinner... everything makes so much sense now.... to see Namjoon admit how he felt like they were losing their direction and their sound with their releases during the pandemic... I could tell all this time that that must be what was going on behind the scenes but it still hurt to hear and see their emotions like that... the fact that they're going on hiatus as a group and going to all pursue individual projects and also, it seemed to me, going to try and live a bit more freely doing what they want to do in life... as a longtime BTS fan it feels so bittersweet.
I'm so happy for them because I know this will be good for them. They need this chance to live as individuals and experience a more 'normal' pace of life... to actually live like young guys in their late 20s a bit more now... and to do the music they really want to do without having to think too much about the whole group or company.... but I also love them as a group and i will miss that for as long as they're on hiatus... Still... looks like we're going to be getting 7 solo albums starting with Hobi's so I'm excited for that.
I really am happy for them but it feels like this emotional transition point... almost like a graduation where you know you won't be together all the time with your friends from school again but your dreams are ahead so you're both happy and sad... so bittersweet.
It is bittersweet listening to how Namjoon has felt over the years. But I'm still so happy for them. I totally agree with them its just time for a break when you lost the direction of your group.
And I just knew that is what was happening. I really wish he called this after Covid just started. Instead of working through that time. That could have been time right there for him to get his thoughts together. They couldn't perform anywhere for 2 years anyway.
It's honestly heartbreaking that they genuinely feel that. They are going to lose fans because they wanted a break. That's how ARMY made them feel. I partly blame the fandom for this and the other part to the company. For making them feel this way.
Still, I'm happy RM stood up for himself and the group and decided to call this hiatus. Despite everything. I'm so proud of him and that's the Namjoon I know.
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2023 has come and gone. We're done and spite the insanity that ensued over the course of the last twelve months I feel like I'm going to miss it. What it provided for me was definitely a sense of clarity, there was a lot of things that really put it into perspective of where I am and where I'm going to go with my life.
It's been a whirlwind of emotions having every little bit of the rose coloured vision of the people and places I care about being wiped away. I feel like it was when I really became an adult, leaving my twenties behind was almost symbolic in a sense. There was a point where this felt so far away and yet here I am.
After the past three years and the strange fever dream that was the pandemic it was relieving to head into last year. I had enough mental fortitude to handle what I had to weather over 2023, that was the biggest thing I think I had going for me. I wasn't going to let anything stress me out to the point of panic attacks like 2022 or the year before.
I may not have done everything I wanted to and there's definitely things that took a back seat but all in all I'm okay with how last year unfolded, the good and the bad. I much rather know the truth then not. Having to say goodbye to people or simply leaving when I know I'm not needed or wanted in a space for the sake of my own mental health are things that I've had to do. Burning down the bridge entirely with some folks and being aware that I'm never going to able to please everyone is something that I've gotten comfortable with. Having to entirely let go of all the little things that I had gotten hung up over the pandemic.
I've become more grounded mentally over the past year. At the end of the day as long as I'm still breathing I know I'll be alright. The people that have stuck it out with me on this journey have been nothing but a gift - an absolute blessing - and I'm thankful for each and every one of them.
Giving myself enough space to breathe and having to know when to lay off the gas peddle is equally important as knowing when to fully lean in and just go with the flow. I think giving myself some leeway and letting myself experience my emotions with enough time to process them has been one of the biggest things I've worked on in recent times. I kind of had to, I didn't really get a solid break over 2023 - it's been one thing right after the other. Honestly the biggest thing that did take a back seat was my lifting, spite that I still managed to get stronger so go figure. Rest is important.
Guess looking forward now to 2024 I've got to ask myself what goals am I setting? I'm not entirely sure to be honest, I accomplished a lot more during 2023 than I expected to. I finished DIVE (and now I'm doing a prequel arc lmao), I did a lot of drawing, and I even got to play some of the games I really wanted to (I'm currently chomping through Jedi Survivor which is fantastic!). If anything I've been very productive.
It’s bittersweet to see another trip around the sun come to an end. I suppose for now I’ll just get back on track with what I normally do and probably continue to give myself the much needed TLC I should have from time to time.
Either way, onwards and upwards! Goodbye and good night to 2023. Thank you for the adventure once again.
Hello 2024!
Happy New Year!
#personal#inner thoughts#update#end of the year#goodbye 2023#introspection#reflection#new year#New Year’s Eve#Happy New Year#adulthood#New Year's Day#winter 2024#new year same me#new years resolution#recap
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tick tock, chico 06/21/23
Time seems to be slipping through my fingers, racing ahead at an astonishing pace. It feels just yesterday when I enrolled for the first time in 3 years due to the pandemic, then suddenly, I blinked and I grew up. I made some friends, had fun, learned, and matured.
But I take a look around at my surroundings and realize - "Oh, it's ending. We're gonna be on our own now." and that thought just scares me so much because I've grown to rely on them and suddenly, they're not here anymore. I know I'll adapt, I'll get used to them not being around but I'm afraid. We fought, we get mad at eachother but will make up.
In a span of 10 months, I got attached to the point where I actually dreaded not having school and not seeing them because these days, the house, the so called home I've grown to love seemed to become so boring, and as they say, 'home is where the heart is' so what does that mean when my heart is with them?
They keep telling me that I have always been so emotional, and I agree. I don't think it's a negative trait. I'm not ashamed to say that I'll miss them, or how they've played a big part in my highschool years. They always say that no, they won't miss this classroom but I'd like to think that there's always gonna be a soft spot inside their heart for us.
Those moments where I refused to take off my mask, those moments where I almost pissed my pants because of how strict the teacher was, how my face burned in humiliation due to getting the answer wrong, and how I laughed so hard to the point where I'd be red in the face with my arm clutching my stomach.
It feels as though I just blinked, and those moments have transformed into distant memories.
One day, I'm gonna forget all 55 of them, one day, I have forgot about their voice and how they look like. One day, I'll hear their laughter, somewhere and as I look back, I realize, that oh, it's them. One day, I'll be stalking their profiles on their Facebook to see how much they've changed. Before this school year, I was immature, I haven't learned stuff, but then, we encountered our paths, and we made memories. Time may be fleeting, but the memories we create endure, etching themselves into the very fabric of who we are. Sure, I might mature more, I'm gonna learn more, I'm gonna be educated, but I don't think I'll ever forget the roots where this sudden maturity came from. Thanks. Thanks on teaching me on how to sneak out, thanks on teaching me about different kind of point of views, thanks for making my confidence go higher, thanks for make me learn stuff about myself, thanks for the fun memories. Thanks.
June 21 2023 12:41 AM
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FACE MASK VS. COVID 19 AGAIN
BY: XYZA JEAN TRABADO
Because of the pandemic, we learned to wear a facemask, it's been three years since we used it
every day. This has become the face shield of people against the virus that we cannot see.
As they say, the pandemic is the worst disease that has shaken the whole world. But because of
this, many people have discovered different types of face masks, some of which are only in
limited stock.
We've all gone through the point where we're nervous about running out and losing our stock
of face masks. Even if others use it wrongly, even if others just find a way to make their own
face mask, we can all do it. There are still many people who cannot survive with face masks
since it was implemented that everyone must wear a face mask when going out and shopping
in public stores.
Especially because of the heat, almost all of us
find it difficult to breathe especially when it's
crowded and there are many people, we find it
difficult to get air from the outside and we find
it harder to exhale because it's covered.
Even though there have been various penalties
for not using a face mask, there are still many
who do not follow this law. So when the cases decreased in the Philippines and so that people
could breathe easier, the wearing of face masks was made voluntary and most of us did not use
them again, because even they were having a hard time when they were working or what they
were doing was affected.
And because of this, social distancing was no longer followed because they all thought or we
thought we were back to normal, but more people tested positive for covid and it spread faster
among people.
According to the department had argued against lifting the mask mandate in late 2022, saying it
was too soon to do so even if cases were down. After President Ferdinand "Bongbong" Marcos
Jr. made wearing masks in public optional, it advised their use in schools to protect children
from the virus.
But so that the face mask does not get infected, I prefer to wear it rather than not wearing it
especially outside. We can't be complacent about the people we meet every day, we don't
know if their every cough or every action they carry has a virus or they got it from someone
they met before you met.
"We are not considering the return of mask mandates," Health officer-in-charge Maria Rosario
Vergeire said in a briefing. Vergeire nonetheless encouraged Filipinos to wear masks in crowded
areas and places with poor ventilation.
Many were also happy when they said that the facemask is no longer required, as long as there
is social distancing and knowing what to do when outside. But many people still said to bring it
back so that the cases will not spread and things will not get worse in the coming years.
The health official also advised masks for senior citizens and people with comorbidities. This is
also right so that even if people don't have face masks anymore, there are still people who can
use face masks themselves or people
who are easily infected and difficult to
heal.
This is also right so that no matter how
they come back or have a new virus, they still
have a fight and they are better
protected. This week the city government of
Manila earlier said it may review its
policy on the use of face masks indoors
and outdoors after it observed a surge in COVID-19 infections.
Even if we say that we all can use a face mask, there are still many people who will wear it but
don't wear it correctly, or wear it but not a surgical mask or masks that have less protection
than a surgical mask.
Maybe that's why it's allowed that even if everyone doesn't wear a face mask anymore because
many people have complained. Complained but others still wear it. There are many people who
say that they are used to using a face mask, especially me, I am also one of those who are used
to going out or being awkward when someone looks at me or I can't talk to someone.
Can't even breathe sometimes but I'm used to it. Used to buying at the store, used to having to
wear a face mask when there are a lot of people, used to keeping a distance that for sure other
people do too.
It's also been three years since the pandemic trained us in things that are new to us such as
social distancing, drinking alcohol for a minute. It's new but now it's what people are more used
to, it's what they prefer to do.
Due to the increased number of covid cases this week. The Philippines recorded 2,386
additional COVID-19 cases from April 10 to 16. The figure was 23% higher than the number of
infections logged from April 3 to 9. According to the DOH, it is feared that whatever may
happen if the failure to wear face masks continues that even though it is voluntary, there are
still people who do not follow the health protocols.
Nine out of 10 Filipinos approve the voluntary use of masks, but most of them continue to wear
face covering outdoors, according to a survey released by Social Weather Stations last month.
That's what I'm saying that even though everyone has been told or informed that the facemask
is no longer required or voluntary, many people still wear facemasks because of the trauma
they've been given or the fear that covid might spread or infect them with a virus they don't
have.
Know that it can also spread if not taken care of. Many people were scared then, many people
panicked, one of them being the ones who bought a box of face masks because the stock of
face masks was running out. Even though it caused fear in people, it also helped to enforce
safety first or being careful when leaving the house or socializing. Positivity rate up the COVID-
19 positivity rate in the country increased to 7.6% from 6.9%.
The World Health Organization recommends the proportion of COVID-19 tests coming back
positive should remain below 5% to ensure the spread of the virus is under control. This is what
everyone is afraid of, the resurgence of covid that we don't realize because the rest of us
appear as if there is no disease waiting or no disease roaming the Philippines.
When the government started agreeing, the parties started, new businesses opened. Having
many concerts without social distancing happening. Maybe that's why covid increased with
concerts and people who are always outside who don't wear face masks anymore.
Even though it was announced, there are still many people who don't know or just ignore it
because they think the Philippines is safe and there is no virus spreading. Because people don't
watch much TV anymore. Most everyone is focused on cellphones or laptops because of what
has been done due to the pandemic.
Vergeire noted that the positivity rate should not be used as the sole indicator to evaluate the
country's COVID-19 situation as it can be affected by the number of people who get tested for
the virus. You should really be careful and consider the increases of covid because it is not a
joke and it is difficult when there is a lockdown because medical professionals will have more
difficulty.
"What's most important is that our hospitals are not seeing an increase in the number of
severe and critical admissions," she said. The Philippines has confirmed over four million
COVID-19 infections, including more than 66,000 deaths, since the pandemic began in early
2020 according to DOH.
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When is Normal Again.
Came across this post from one Alex Navarro
I'd been thinking to myself a lot about this.
March 17th 2020.
That's when the schools shut down after spring break. My oldest started spring break excited to go back to class. Then she couldn't.
March 20th 2020.
We were in full lock down mode, have to work from home.
Jan 17th, 2023: we're still working from home
--
I can't even properly describe to my young kids how weirdly.. unassuming life was only 3 years ago today.
I look back on videos and photos, and I see essentially a completely different world than what's out there today.
Things that have come back to normal… are different now.
(For context, my oldest was in Grade 1 on Spring Break when her world got flipped upside down.
My youngest was only 2 years old. Her entire conscious life has been under this pandemic, and her whole world is dominated by the environment and society it's created in the aftermath.)
My oldest got to enjoy making some early memories out and about with people she loved, doing adventures on the sky train, going to malls, indoor playgrounds, fairs, and school events. Some loved ones, by the way, who are no longer with us by the time my province started relaxing measures, and who never got to see the other side of covid measures.
We try to do a bunch of the things we used to do, but the vibe is completely different now. Pre-sign up to an indoor playground because now they limit slots to like 20? Pre-Schedule going to the swimming pool? The malls are.. effectively gutted and sad now, not much in them survived.
What's worse, my oldest used to enjoy going to extracurricular classes like cooking, art, dance, etc Nowadays she's lucky to get into swimming lessons. Everything else gets canceled on her due to "lack of interest" because no one is sending their kids to these things anymore.
My youngest by the grace of whatever deity has been able to enjoy some ballet classes.
My oldest however misses all these activities she used to be able to do. Her excitement to show us the new thing she baked. Her genuine enthusiasm over bringing home a new painting or paper craft. It's been almost 3 years since she's last been able to enjoy these.
My own world with my own interests has changed rapidly too. I dont want or need a lot. A computer, primarily. Some basic stuff like DnD rule books and such. I even got into firearms ownership as a Canadian, but even there I didn't seek much, just some basics.
But of course, thanks to the supply chain and production issues, it's made everything i'm apart of a scalpers paradise. I've been finding a lot less joy in these things. Mostly because I just want to forget anything better than what I have might be out there, because it's become to damn unattainable at this point, it might as well be.
And then the inflation hit. Now my family and I no longer live comfortably. In just a couple short years, i've gone from a life of, honestly comfortable plenty, to a life where im back living paycheck to paycheck. I didn't leave my employer, in fact i've been there 9 years this March. Im not making less, in fact i've never made more in my life. The rapid inflation, new installation of poorly timed taxes, and strained production rising prices across the board for just about everything..
I don't know, man.
It's been downright depressing watching my world, my country, and my province deteriorate into shittiness around me, and stay that way or get worse. Yeah I know there's people out there who have it far worse than me, but im allowed to feel this way too.
I wonder.
I really do wonder.
If I'll ever see a day again where I can wake up, take a nice breath, and go "Yeah, ok, this is close enough to the way things felt in October of 2019."
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Here's to a New Year
“Happy New Year” feels inaccurate this year… All things considered, I'm relatively cognizant of the good and bad things/events of this year (world, politics, pandemics, etc., generally aside), but I'm not particularly happy, and I'm not particularly sad, if anything it feels empty. It’s like… what is neutral new year? Is that a thing? I think it’s where I am.
Thing is, in my professional life, I’ve thrived. My movements in that space have been on a trajectory that I’ve only envisioned. I’m proud of that. I’ve worked hard, and although not done doing My Time, have put in The Time. Even in the midst of the world around us kind of doing it’s best to fall apart, I’ve some come out in a place that is comfortable (when I’m being not ridiculous, and treating my bank account with a modicum of respect). I’m where 26 year old me would say, I’ve found success, which, by all means has changed a lot since then, but still, when it all came to be, I was struck with, “I did it”. And although it’s often just me enjoying these successes (I don’t really tell people about things like this, it feels like bragging, and I hate that), it feels good.
I say this is in the context of lots of people have lost things this year, and I don’t think I’m some unique beast in the world, but, I’ve lost a lot this year. I feel like my personal life is in shambles. It feels without direction, without community. Homeless is the word that comes to mind. I have friends (virtual and in-person, lol, the latter of which we're not really talking about here because they don't really want anything to do with the "games" part of my life). Plenty-enough. I cherish them. Almost to the point of suffocation – never outwardly, but damn near always in my own head space, which is ironic because they’re literally voices in my head (read: headphones, I’m not fucking crazy, maybe), and time spent. I need them. They nourish me in ways that only they can (I don’t even know if they know that/this). To my own credit, I walked away from some things this year that I felt no longer suited me. People, places and homes (if you will), that were my spaces of rest and restoration. They started to feel foreign, and I felt like I didn’t belong. It stopped making sense, and I felt critical and frustrated. But, I knew then, and it’s painfully evident now that it was such a HUGE part of who I was (for lack of a better phrase). I stand by my decisions, even if often times there’s sadness attached to them. I’m telling myself that caring for ones (my)self is sometimes sad, and sometimes painful, and that sometimes letting things go is the right decision. I believe this to be true, but it doesn’t change my humanity (read: the way humans are liable to feel) in the matter.
I’m grateful for the FFXIV community. Deciding to make a Kazden (“Kaz”) dedicated Twitter was a decision I didn’t really see for me, but with encouragement from folks, here we are, and it’s been generally marvelous. The way WoLs pour into each other; it helps fill my proverbial cup. My gposes have seen some growth, and I want to continue that. A lady from a my younger years, used to say, “it’s always nice to have a fan”, and FFXIV Twitter tells me that that is true. I love that people love Kaz. But, if I’m being completely honest (which I have no reason not to be considering), it’s sometimes difficult for me to separate myself from Kaz. I created him as an extension of me, and not really a separate entity. There’s a complexity there that I feel like I’m constantly analyzing and there’s the Me that is constantly battling against the not-realness of him and the actions that take place on the platforms where which he exists. He wants to be loved, but that’s because I do. He wants the attention from specific spaces because I do. He’s jealous, and reactionary because I am. He’s aware of certain worldly things because I am. All that said, I'm thankful for the followers, and the appreciators of Kaz and his goings-ons.
I enter the new year conflicted about a lot of things, which is kind of unlike me. I’m generally very sure-footed. There’s an emptiness in this new year that I didn’t think would be here, but it’s something I’ll need to explore. My sense of balance has to evolve, I have to evolve, I have to grow – to where, into what, I have no idea.
So, here’s to a new year.
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Qognition Gummies: Give Your Brain A Healthy Boost
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