#we’ve never fought we’ve never even considered not wanting to be together
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how to disappear. (opla!zoro x fem!reader)
synopsis: joining luffy’s crew made you believe that you’d finally escaped your former pirate crew and nightmare of a captain for good. that is, until a certain butler starts looking a little too familiar. good thing zoro’s keeping a close eye on you.
warnings: opla spoilers (ep 3), some direct dialogue from opla, mentions of verbal/physical abuse, kuro is just a weirdo tbh, reader is called a bitch, protective zoro, for the sake of the story sham and buchie joined the black cat pirates after reader left
word count: 4.7k
“this guy is full of shit.”
you knock your shoulder into zoro’s wider one. “be nice. and so what if he is?”
zoro gives you a pointed glare. “then we should turn around and look for someone who can actually help us find a ship.”
“all business, as per usual,” you reply, with a purposefully dramatic sigh. “why can’t you have a little fun?”
“what about this is supposed to be fun?” zoro spits out the word like it’s poisonous. “this is the blandest village i’ve ever seen.”
you scoff. “now you’re the one that’s full of shit. nothing’s ever bland with us and you know it.”
the us in question was your newly formed pirate crew… if you and luffy could even be considered that. having left the ship you’d been on a few years ago, you were in search of a new crew. luffy was persistent and charming — when you’d crossed paths in shells town, it took little to no time for him to convince you to join his hunt for the one piece. zoro and nami, on the other hand, had yet to follow in your footsteps.
“well, considering that we’ve only been traveling together for a day and a half and i’ve already escaped a marine base, defeated a marine captain, and fought a clown with devil fruit powers… i’d actually have to agree.”
you can’t help but giggle at his sarcastic delivery. “be grateful, zoro. not many pirate crews are this fun to be on, trust me. oh wait, that’s right, you still haven’t officially joined—”
“tell me about your old pirate crew,” interjects zoro, your comment having piqued his interest.
you notice that the playful atmosphere dissipates. “god, where do i even start?”
zoro answers that for you. “why did you leave?”
“starting with the hard hitting questions, huh?” you joke, mostly to stall. you clear your throat before you answer. “well, it was different. nothing like what luffy has going on. he actually cares about his crew… and even those who aren’t technically on it.”
at that, a smile tugs at the corner of zoro’s lips. even you crack a small grin. although as you continue speaking, it fades.
“on my old crew, we were dispensable. anytime something went wrong, our own captain would threaten to kill us. it was… scary, to be completely honest. there were so many times when i thought i’d die with that filthy crew. and i never wanted that. so as soon as we docked at shells town, i left.”
zoro’s jaw clenches as imagines the things you’d seen and been subjected to. “this old captain of yours sounds like a real—”
“he was a nightmare,” you tell him. “he didn’t care that i was the only woman on board, he treated me just as horribly, if not worse.”
zoro stops so suddenly that it takes you a second to realize he’s not walking alongside you.
“what do you mean by that.” the way zoro phrases the inquiry doesn’t even make it sound like a question. more like a demand. his narrowed eyes are fixed solely on you. holding his gaze feels… intense.
you can’t help but glance away as you answer him. “he was just a bit of a creep.”
before zoro has the chance to try and extract more information out of you, a familiar voice calls both your names. you’re not really sure when you and zoro had fallen behind but from where you currently stand, the rest of your group looks miniature. or perhaps it’s just the massive size of the mansion behind them that makes luffy, nami, and usopp look pocket-sized in comparison.
“why’d you stop walking?!” your captain shouts, hands pressed on each side of his mouth to amplify his voice. “get over here, we’re about to go in through the top secret entrance!”
you vaguely make out usopp gesturing for luffy to keep his voice down. you’re sure that would warrant another comment from zoro about his reliability but he’s too busy staring at you with that expectant look in his eyes.
“we better catch up,” you tell him, heading in the direction of the deluxe home.
he allows you to dodge the subject and sighs, walking in long strides to catch up to you.
“i’ve never seen a house this big before,” luffy admits, admiring the mansion along with the wellkept greenery surrounding it.
“awesome, right?” usopp gloats, walking around like he owned the place. “kaya’s given me an open invitation to drop by anytime i want.”
“wow.” you’re not sure if luffy was just going along with usopp’s act or if he really believed him. knowing the devil fruit user, it was more than likely the latter. “all this for just one person?”
“well, she lives here with her butler and a few other staff,” usopp replies, leaning against the stone well that sat in the middle of the lawn.
“money really shows you who people truly are,” nami mutters, eyes scanning the property. “most people only care about themselves and what’s theirs.”
zoro is quick to throw the insult back at her. “sounds like someone i know.”
you roll your eyes at his comment, though you make no effort to disagree with him. nami was a little on the materialistic side.
“and a small staff makes for easy pickings,” she continues, proving your point.
“we just got here and you’re already planning on robbing the place blind?” you ask though you already know the answer.
“at least a little blurry,” she smirks, following behind luffy and usopp who walk toward the entrance.
you and zoro share a look. one that says disappointed but not surprised.
going under a shrub shaped as an arch, you’re met with a beautiful pond. you admire the pink lilies that float at the top and the bushes that were intricately trimmed into the shape of various animals. even if the people that lived here were filthy rich, at least they had good decorative taste.
“so if you have an invitation, why are we going around the back way?” luffy ponders.
usopp’s answer is nonchalant. “oh, i never use the front entrance. like i said, this is the vip entrance reserved for special guests.”
zoro scoffs. “this guy’s definitely–”
“don’t start,” you groan, cutting him off.
abruptly, usopp freezes and spins around, attempting to usher your crew back. “you know what, there’s actually a more exclusive entrance this way–”
the sharp swoosh of a knife cutting through the air and burying itself in the ground between usopp’s feet cuts him off. from the direction the kitchen utensil was thrown stands a heavyset gentleman with his face wrinkled in anger. his demanding voice booms through the garden, “the hell are you doing here, usopp?”
the dark-skinned boy fumbles over his word. “buchi, buddy, uh, kaya’s expecting me.”
“another one of your lies,” the man – seemingly named buchi – seethes, grabbing him by the collar. “you ain’t welcome here and you know it.”
“i know nothing of the sort,” usopp retorts, keeping his cool even when he was practically being lifted off the ground by his shirt. “i’m here to give kaya an extra special gift.”
before buchi can get another word out, a feminine voice calls out for your companion. coming down the steps is a frail looking girl in a pink dress. on her arm is a man dressed in a crisp suit, presumably the butler usopp had mentioned earlier. though, from where you stand you can’t see either of their faces too clearly.
“what a wonderful surprise,” she exclaims, breathlessly.
“kaya!” usopp exclaims, returning her enthusiasm. buchi has no choice but to let him go, begrudgingly. usopp makes sure to shoot him a smug look before walking towards the young girl. “happy birthday.”
the butler clears his throat, not afraid to intrude on their special moment. “usopp, we’ve discussed this before. you mustn’t show up unannounced.”
“nonsense, klahadore.” kaya smiles warmly. “have you come to tell me another story? i do love hearing about your adventures.”
“i’ll do you one better,” usopp smirks with such confidence that even you’re left wondering what kind of surprise he has up his sleeve. “i brought some of my crew!” he gestures back towards the four of you, proudly.
your excitement vanishes. “oh. the surprise is… us.”
“well, that’s boring,” luffy agrees, just as disappointed as you are.
kaya, on the other hand, is none the wiser. “it’s so nice to meet you. you must all stay for dinner.”
klahadore lowers his voice. “miss kaya, it is a bit last minute. i’m afraid the kitchen hasn’t prepared for any extra guests.”
“please,” begs kaya, softly. “it’s my birthday. can’t be too much trouble can it?”
giving in, klahadore purses his lips. “anything for you, miss kaya.”
luffy claps his hands together. “alright! when do we eat?”
“you don’t. not dressed like that, at least.” the butler directs himself to a staff member with teal colored hair. “sham, kindly show usopp and his friends to the guest suites. you will bathe and change before dinner.”
she follows his orders and leads the way. luffy, usopp, nami, and zoro trail behind her and you go to do the same. however, all it takes is a quick glance to stop you dead in your tracks. usually, you weren’t one to stare but klahadore’s face. that stare. so dark and depraved.
“yes, miss?” he asks, holding your gaze. “can i help you?”
“n-no, i…” your throat goes dry as you attempt to recover smoothly. “i just wanted to, um, thank you for being so hospitable.”
his lips curve upwards into a sinister grin. “the pleasure’s all mine.” as if to confirm your worst fear, klahadore uses his palm to readjust his glasses. his beady eyes gauge your reaction closely.
the familiar gesture sends chills down your spine. appearance-wise, he had changed drastically but his aura was still just as menacing as you remember it. he was still the corrupt pirate captain you used to serve under. you feel like a weak and helpless subordinate all over again.
“klahadore!” giggles kaya. “you’re smiling! that’s certainly a rarity.”
he hums. “i’ve simply come to the realization that having guests once in a while can truly be a delight.”
his sickeningly sweet tone makes your stomach turn. just the fact that you were standing in front of him – captain kuro – again after all these years was nauseating in itself. last you’d heard he had died at the hands of captain morgan. how was this even possible? then again, he wasn’t dubbed kuro of a hundred plans for no reason. he always had a trick or two up his sleeve. you assumed this was no different.
“hey, you comin’?”
you turn around to see zoro waiting for you. he meets your gaze for a moment. the softness of his eyes is a stark contrast to kuro’s. it’s a breath of fresh air. he then shifts his attention to your former captain and you swear his eyes darken.
“yeah, sorry,” you mumble, trying not to look shaken as you walk up the steps.
zoro follows behind you, this time closer than before.
“why would anybody even need this many clothes?”
“it’s not about need with these people, luffy. it’s about want,” nami spits, thumbing through the various fabrics on the wall.
“at least she’s rich and nice,” luffy replies, innocently.
nami rolls her eyes. “yeah, letting us stay for dinner must be her idea of charity work.”
“what are we even supposed to wear?” luffy continues, uninterested in nami’s criticism of the rich.
“anything you want. when are you ever going to get the opportunity to wear things this nice?”
you step out from behind the changing board where you’d swapped out your old tee and cargo skirt for an elegant satin dress. it was a stunning shade of olive green and frilly lace decorated the edges. not to mention, it hugged your curves in all the right ways.
nami’s eyes widen. “see, she’s got the right idea. you look amazing.”
you smile, bashfully. “honestly, i feel amazing.”
“you look the same to me,” your captain shrugs.
nami shoots him a death glare but you intervene before she can scold him.
“way to keep me humble, luffy.”
“no problem!”
at that exact moment, a freshly showered zoro arrives donning a silk robe. he eyes the multitude of garments that cover every inch of the room, not particularly impressed.
“there you are. don’t you think she looks nice?” nami asks him, gesturing towards you. she doesn’t notice how you shrink under zoro’s gaze. neither does he, as his eyes take their time raking over you, from top to bottom.
he hums. “suits you.” with that, he sets off towards a chair in the corner of the room.
“seriously?” sighs nami, exasperated. “are you two physically unable to give compliments or something?”
“hey, doesn’t that butler seem familiar to you guys?” zoro asks, promptly ignoring nami’s complaint.
his question causes your breath to hitch. you’d pushed the kuro problem to the back of your mind while you were in search of a suitable dinner outfit. you figured that as long as your crew was by your side, he wouldn’t dare try anything. and even if he did… well, you’d seen what had happened to axe-hand morgan and buggy.
“yeah, i think he was at the last dinner party i attended,” nami replies sarcastically, taking a handful of dresses behind the changing board.
as he takes a seat, zoro grumbles, “i swear i’ve seen him before.”
“where?” you can’t help but ask, fiddling with the lace on the neckline of your dress.
“so far, i’ve got two suspicions. a wanted poster or funky bar on mirrorball island. you ever been?”
you know zoro’s teasing you, judging by the grin on his face. after all, funky bar was known to get insanely rowdy; never would he imagine finding someone as gentle as you there. but what he didn’t know is that it happened to be one of kuro’s favorite bars. per his request, you and the rest of the black cat pirates frequented it often, so he was more than likely right about having seen kuro there. he’d probably even seen you in passing, once or twice. thankfully, he doesn’t seem to have any recollection of that.
the thought of zoro knowing about your past forms a knot in the pit of your stomach. would he think less of you for having joined such a ruthless crew at one point in your life? what if it put a strain on the friendship you’d worked so hard to form?
“i’ve, uh, heard of it,” you decide to reply, pushing down your worries for the time being.
he tilts his head slightly, thinking out loud. “then again, i have seen a lot of wanted posters and bars in my time as a pirate hunter.”
you feel a grin creep onto your face. “probably more bars than posters, huh?”
zoro mirrors your smile. “shut up.”
by the time dinner rolls around, the entire crew is doing what they do best.
luffy is stuffing his face, nami is attempting to swindle one of the staff, zoro is hanging by the drinks, and you’re hanging by zoro.
“hey zoro, you gotta try this!” luffy calls through a mouthful of food.
“i’ve got all i need right here,” he mutters, taking a swig out of his champagne flute.
“you know, i don’t think i’ve ever seen you choke down something that isn’t alcohol,” you comment, watching the way he downs the glass in one go.
dryly, he replies, “that’s because i haven’t.”
“very on brand.”
“ladies and gentlemen,” calls out that voice from the top of the stairs. “may i present… miss kaya.”
arm in arm, kuro and kaya walk down the steps, all eyes on the birthday girl and her stunning gown. well, except you. your eyes never leave the so-called butler by her side. your jaw clenches when he has the audacity to meet your gaze and hold it. shameless bastard.
once they reach the bottom, merry leads kaya to the guests while kuro takes his post at the bottom of the stairs… right next to the drink table. before you can think about steering yourself and zoro away, kuro speaks.
“forgive me if i am speaking out of line, madam, but i must inform you. you look positively radiant,” he purrs, soaking in your appearance. he looks ready to pounce.
you can’t stop your eyes from rolling. good to know he’s the same pervert he used to be.
looking between you both and sensing your discomfort, zoro steps in. “and you look familiar.”
kuro’s head stiffly turns to face him, eyes peeling away from you. “highly doubtful, sir.”
“funky bar? mirror ball island?”
“funky bar?” kuro repeats, disgusted. “well, i can assure you i’ve never patronized that type of establishment.”
while it was amusing to see your highly esteemed former captain lie through his teeth, the tension between him and zoro was unbearable.
“well then.” zoro continues with his little interrogation. “ever been on a wanted poster?”
you cringe at his bluntness. sometimes it seemed like he had less of a filter than luffy.
kuro puts on a scandalized face at the question. “sir! such an accusation is highly offensive.” tugging on his collar, he goes to remove himself from zoro’s probing. “now, if you’ll excuse me, i’m going to help prepare the dinner table.”
he leaves, en route to the dining room. zoro’s eyes follow his figure until he disappears, squinting as he racks his brain for any further recollection of this suspicious butler.
you sigh. if zoro was going to continue being so relentless, you were sure the night would end in bloodshed and uncovered secrets.
“keep this coming,” zoro demands, handing the empty wine bottle to sham. she takes it with a glare.
“would it kill you to say please?” you ask, slicing the slab of fish on your plate into smaller pieces.
“the service here is shitty. why should i have to be polite?”
you scowl. “remind me to never have dinner with you again.”
zoro turns to you with that cocky grin of his. “what if i asked nicely?”
his quip makes your heart flutter but you manage to keep your composure. “you can try your luck.”
before he can respond, usopp speaks up. “luffy, isn’t there something that you wanted to talk to kaya about?”
luffy gesticulates enthusiastically with his fork. “oh, yes! usopp told me that you own the whole shipyard.”
“well, actually, my parents founded the shipyard and merry’s been running the business since they… passed. but all that’s about to change. tonight, at midnight, i will become the sole owner.” she smiles somberly.
“well, that’s great,” luffy says, raising his drink at her. “because we want to buy a ship from you.”
“ah, i see. usopp mentioned that you’re sailors.”
“nope, not sailors. we’re pirates!”
you’re certain at least three people at the table choke on their food, yourself included.
“this ought to be good,” zoro mumbles behind his glass.
you’re too busy coughing into your napkin to chastise him for finding this entertaining.
“pirates?” kaya repeats, unsure of how to react.
“yup! we haven’t sailed together for very long but we’ve already defeated an evil clown, raided a marine base, and taken down a captain with an axe! for a hand!” luffy holds up a fist, presumably to impersonate axe-hand morgan.
“sounds a lot like your adventures, usopp,” kaya says, turning to the brunette.
all he can do is laugh dryly. “yeah, that’s… that’s crazy.”
“and we’re just getting started!” luffy continues, climbing up onto the table.
“someone put me out of my misery,” you mumble, looking down at your plate to ignore the secondhand embarrassment.
a tap on your shoulder answers your plea.
turning around, you find yourself face to face with kuro once again. “madam, a word please?”
“might i ask what for?” zoro cuts in before you can so much as think of a response.
kuro offers him the most forced grin you’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing. “i’m afraid that is between the lady and i.”
the swordsman turns to you, scanning your face for any ounce of discomfort. “you okay with that?”
you inhale, figuring it was finally time for you to confront the darkest part of your past. it was silly to assume you would be able to ignore him throughout your entire stay here. besides, you were sure zoro, just like the rest of your crew, would be on standby if kuro got brave enough to try anything. “sure. just… keep an eye out.”
zoro understands completely. truthfully, you didn’t even need to ask – he always looked after you. “got it.”
you push yourself out of your seat and smooth out your dress. you allow kuro to lead you to the doorway – he was smart enough to know that was the farthest you’d let him take you.
“what do you want, klahadore?” you seethe, folding your arms.
he arches a brow. “why must you call me that? it’s ridiculous.”
you tilt your head with faux innocence. “oh? is that not your name? must have misheard.”
he gives you an irritated look, dark eyes drilling into you.
“i remember that look,” you mutter, your memory serving you well. “it’s the same one you’d give me before you’d threaten to slice me to bits with your claws.”
kuro has the audacity to chuckle dryly. “but i never did, did i? although there were certainly times times where i should’ve.”
“what you should be is dead,” you hiss bitterly. “when i heard the news, i knew it was too good to be true.”
“you wound me, kitten,” he drawls, reaching up to fix his glasses.
the condescending nickname makes your skin crawl. it carried so many awful memories of your time spent with the black cat pirates. it reminded you of just how weak kuro viewed you — nothing but a helpless, pitiful kitten in his eyes. typical of the man that abused his authority and treated you with not a single ounce of respect.
he continues, putting on a sweet tone. “after all these years, stuck waiting hand and foot on that spoiled brat, there’s nothing i’d love more than to hear my favorite crew mate say my real name.”
you snap at him. “i’m no crew mate of yours.”
he sighs, dramatically. “sadly, you’re correct. after all, you did slip off the ship the moment we docked in shells town. locating you on an island crawling with marines proved to be nearly impossible. we had no choice but to leave without you.”
“that’s exactly why i chose to escape there.”
“and to this day i can’t for the life of me figure out why you would ever do that. why would you want to leave us? leave me?”
you actually laugh right in his face. “is it really that hard to figure out? you were evil. you threatened and harassed me on a daily basis.”
“so your solution was to join that ragtag crew?” he glances at the table. “it’s pathetic, even for you.”
you lean into his face, lowering your voice down. “i’m happier than i ever was on your shitty crew. every day i wake up grateful that i managed to escape you.”
you see that vein on his forehead bulge before he’s gripping you by the chin. “listen here, you little bitch–”
the shiny silver of a sword slides between you and kuro, coming to rest against his neck. his adam’s apple bobs as he gulps anxiously, releasing you. thanks to zoro’s sword, it seemed as if he finally remembered where he was. you were no longer on his ship, he was no longer allowed to treat you like the dirt he walked on. not without someone noticing, that is.
“why don’t you step away?” zoro offers simply.
that much was a kindness. usually those who found themselves on the end of zoro’s blade(s) weren’t lucky enough to receive a warning. however, the swordsman didn’t wish to cause a scene. at least not when you were right there and everyone was watching with shock from the dinner table.
kuro obliges, stumbling back. he meets kaya’s horrified eyes, feeling ashamed that he allowed his act to slip. surely this would cause some setbacks in his plan. with no excuse for his uncharacteristic behavior, the raven haired man scurries away and up the stairs.
zoro turns and locks eyes with luffy, giving him one singular nod. luffy returns it, jumping out of his seat and going after the butler. quiet murmuring breaks out at the dinner table, everyone surely confused.
sheathing his sword, zoro directs his attention to you once more. “are you alright?” a calloused hand comes up to grip your chin, much like kuro had. however, this time, the touch is gentle. loving, almost. you welcome it.
“yeah, i’m… fine.” your heart is beating out of your chest and it has everything to do with your close proximity to zoro.
he tilts your face around, inspecting every inch of it. once he finishes, he pulls back. his demeanor goes serious once more. “we need to have a talk.”
you nod. “i know. i’ve been keeping some things from you guys and–”
“just tell me what’s been going on,” he demands. “and don’t overcomplicate it. you can be straightforward with me.”
his sincerity makes you start over, this time far more candidly. “klahadore used to be a pirate. i was part of his crew. he was my… captain.”
the shame in your voice pulls at zoro’s heartstrings. didn’t you know there was no reason to feel guilty with him? “is that it?”
you open your mouth to speak but come up empty. all you can do is furrow your eyebrows at his unexpectedly dismissive reaction.
“i knew it,” zoro continues, annoyed. “i knew i’d seen him on a wanted poster before. just didn’t have any proof.”
“wait, so you don’t– you really don’t care?” you ask, still avoiding eye contact. “me being a former black cat pirate doesn’t bother you?”
he shrugs. “you said it yourself. ‘former.’ all that matters is that you got the hell out of there. and away from that creep. would he always put his hands on you like that?”
you blink a couple times, sighing. “his temper was really bad so–”
that seemed to be enough for zoro. “i’ll kill the bastard,” he hisses. “wanted to slice him to bits the moment i saw him grab you.”
though it’s a violent threat, you can’t help but smile. the idea of zoro being so protective that he’d kill a man just for touching you made you blush. pirate love language, you suppose.
“well, i wouldn’t have stopped you,” you tell him, more than ready to see your former captain go.
zoro clicks his tongue. “nah. could’ve stained your new dress with his blood. i never would have been able to forgive myself.”
“so you do have a soft spot,” you tease.
“only for pretty things.”
“do you mean me or the dress?”
now it’s zoro’s turn to become bashful. though, his lack of response is an answer in itself. you can’t help but giggle.
a loud bang from upstairs interrupts your moment with the green-haired man. you assume luffy had gotten his hands on kuro… or vice versa. zoro must be thinking the same thing judging by the way he instinctively rests a hand on the handle of his blade.
“you should go up there,” you tell him. “i’ll stay with kaya.”
he gives you a nod, though he doesn’t make any effort to leave. he stands there like he wants to say something… or do something. before you can think about it too much, you pull him in by the collar and crash your lips onto his. they’re slightly chapped and taste like the wine that’d come from the cellar – it’s pleasant. his large palms come to rest on your lower back; his hold feels tight and secure.
when you finally allow yourself to pull away, you’re biting back a smile. “kick his ass for me.”
“will i get more of that if i do?” asks zoro, wetting his lips. they now taste like the cherry lip gloss you’d borrowed from kaya. he takes a step forward, attempting to close the gap between you two once more.
you shrug, pushing him away by the chest. “go help luffy and we’ll see.”
you both know that means yes.
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Dirty Martinis and Gratitude
Pairing: JoeQuinnxReader
Summary: You just wanted a quiet drink but a creep approaches you at the bar and starts getting pushy. Enter Joe who swoops in, pretending to be your boyfriend to save you, and you have to thank him for his kindness somehow, right?
18+ Only
The martini was a wave of sophisticated flavor. The gin and vermouth combined to create a smooth cocktail that was already going straight to your head. The perfect blend of sweet and dry with just a touch of bitterness. Each sip was crisp and refreshing, going down easily, so easily that you had drained long before you should have.
Your eyes slipped closed, the heady buzz of liquor a veil that covered your mind, creating a pleasant haze you deserved after a week from hell that consisted of two Tinder dates that had ended long before they’d even begun.
The first had ended before you’d even ordered dinner when his phone buzzed on the table and the word wifey appeared across the screen. He’d tried to play it off, claiming it was just a joke, a nickname he called his best friend. You were not that damn stupid or desperate. You had grabbed your purse and walked out as he was still trying to explain it away.
The second date had spent your entire dinner on his phone, barely even looking up to acknowledge you as you tried to engage him in conversation. You’d given up and left and honestly, you weren’t even sure if he noticed.
What in the hell were you even doing on these dating apps anymore? You must have been on thirty or more dates now and every single one had been a dud. You had been through so many jerks, misogynists, narcissists, and guys who were just hoping for a one night stand. You were starting to give up on possibly ever finding a decent man. Did they even exist?
A new martini slid in front of you and you looked up to see a blond neanderthal with ice blue eyes smirking at you as if he’d just paid off your school loans instead of buying you a drink. He hopped up onto the stool next to you and your stomach clenched. You’d just come here for a drink. You did not have the energy to go through another shitty encounter with the male species.
“You were looking kind of thirsty over here,” he said, his voice oozing with a confidence built off hours in the gym and probably never being told no in his life.
“Mmm…well, thanks,” you mumbled, leaving the drink untouched. You were not dumb enough to believe a guy called his friend wifey. You certainly weren’t dumb enough to drink something a strange guy handed to you.
“I can think of a couple ways to quench your thirst.”
He winked and you fought the urge to gag. Your hand grabbed for your purse, ready to bolt, but he grabbed your hand, stopping you. You glanced up at him and the grin he gave you made your skin crawl. Yeah, this guy had definitely never heard the word no and he wasn’t going to take it well when you said it.
“Where are you going, sweetheart?” he questioned, eyebrows lifting. “When a man buys you a drink, it’s only polite to at least drink it.”
“Yeah, well, I’m good. I have to drive so one is my limit.”
“Why would you have to drive? I have a car and I know the way to my place.”
“I…”
“Darling! I am so sorry I’m late!”
You had been ready to open your mouth and tell this guy where to shove it. But suddenly, there was an arm around your shoulders, a pleasant voice with a charming British accent next to your ear. You looked up to see who your rescuer was and came face to face with the warmest pair of eyes, making you think of melted chocolate, that perfect cup of coffee, wood crackling in the fireplace.
“Hey there, mate,” he said, holding his hand out to the creep. “I’m Joe.”
“Oh…uh…hey,” the guy stammered, his cool demeanor slipping now that this wasn’t a sure thing anymore. “You two know each other?”
“Well, I would hope so considering we’ve been living together for two years,” Joe laughed, his cheek coming to rest on top of your head, his hand wrapping around your bicep.
Those ice blue eyes considered the two of you as if he didn’t believe the mirage in front of him. You smiled, leaning further into Joe, trying to sell the lie because you needed this guy to believe it. You needed him to walk away. He was giving you the ick like no other. The bastard stood up from his stool, taking a step back.
Joe’s lips brushed against your ear as he whispered, “Do you really want to sell this, sweetheart?”
You nodded subtly, hoping the blond bonehead didn’t notice. Two plush lips curved into a smile, the sweetest dimples, like little wells of joy forming in the hollows of his cheeks. Those things were a secret weapon he could use to melt any heart. But all those thoughts quickly vanished from your head when thick fingers wrapped around her chin, tilting your head back and you realized what was about to happen.
Joe’s lips pressed against yours, soft as silk and sweet as sugar. He kissed you as if you were a delicate flower. It was sweet and tender, the moment hanging in the air like a promise of what could come if you gave yourself over to him. It was unforgettable, the kind of kiss that made every other kiss feel dull and pointless, leaving you wondering why you’d ever bothered kissing anyone else until now.
Gentle fingertips moved from your chin, gliding along your jaw and then into your hair. You had no control of the soft moan that his mouth swallowed but knew he heard it when you could feel his smile. His tongue glided past your lips, exploring your mouth, licking its way down your throat. Like a meteor racing toward Earth, you were falling, sinking fast, plummeting, on the verge of breaking into a million pieces on impact.
“Well, I think that worked,” Joe whispered as he barely pulled back, his nose touching yours, his hand still in your hair. “You’re safe now, love.”
“Huh?” you gasped, eyes slowly blinking open, having no idea what he was talking about and not caring. All you wanted was for his lips to be on yours again.
“That wanker is gone. I think we sold it pretty well.”
Oh. The realization hit you like a ton of bricks in your stomach. Right. Joe hadn’t been kissing you because he wanted to. He’d been kissing you to help you chase the asshole away. You inhaled slowly, attempting to salvage some of your dignity before he noticed the kind of effect he’d had on you.
“Right. Thanks for that,” you muttered softly, reaching for the martini, needing a drink but Joe’s hand shot out, grabbing the glass before you could and sliding it away.
“No. Let’s not drink that, alright?” He hopped up onto the stool next to you, holding his finger in the air to wave the bartender down. When he caught his attention, he ordered you a fresh drink and one for him as well. “That guy didn’t seem like the kind of guy you can trust not to use shitty means to get what he wants. Better safe than sorry, yeah?”
“Yeah,” you nodded, smiling at the bartender as she set your martinis down in front of you. “Thank you again. You save me from a jerk, you save me from a drink, you order me a new one, and now you’re sitting and having a drink with me when I’m sure you have other things to do. If you don’t stop doing nice things for me, I’m going to have to figure out something better than a simple thank you.”
“Mmm…well, there you’re wrong,” Joe mused, bringing the glass to his lips, sipping slowly, his eyes on you the entire time. “I cannot think of anything I’d rather be doing than enjoying a good martini with a beautiful woman.”
Heat flushed your cheeks and you ducked your head, sipping on your own drink. This man was something different entirely. You’d been on enough dates to have seen the spectrum of what was offered but you’d never seen anything like him. Maybe it was those big doe eyes, maybe it was those lips that were as lucious as ripe strawberries, maybe it was that British accent that slid smoothly along your spine each time he spoke. Whatever it was, you found your thighs squeezing together, desire pulsing in your center and you knew if he asked you to go home with him, you would because you were dying to know what he’d be like in bed.
“Okay, so if you don’t have other things to do, what are you doing in this bar?” you queried.
“I am guessing the same as you,” answered Joe, his arm dropping onto the bar, fingertips a mere centimeter from yours as if he was longing to touch you but holding back out of respect. “I simply fancied a drink. Date that ended badly, you see. In fact, that seems to be the story of my life as of late.”
You laughed, shaking your head and raising your glass, “Hey, me too. So, cheers to that.”
“Yes,” he agreed, gently clicking his glass against yours. “Cheers to bloody awful dates. I mean, if the date had gone well, then I wouldn’t be sitting here with you so that’s certainly something to celebrate, don’t you think?”
“Perhaps it is.”
“So, tell me, were you actually on a date with that wanker?” questioned Joe. “Please tell me no.”
“No. I was not. He just sat down, clearly thinking he was going to get to take me home tonight. I actually came here to have a drink alone. I didn’t have a date tonight but I have had a string of bad ones that has me thinking about swearing off men altogether.”
Joe clutched his chest, “Surely not. Tell me it isn’t so.”
“Well, I was thinking about it,” you teased, pursing your lips in a flirtatious smile, “until you came along anyway. Now I’m thinking I may have been a bit hasty.”
“Is that so?” His voice lilted playfully as he leaned forward, the tip of his brushing over your cheek.
“Mmmhmm…” you murmured, barely capable of more than a noise as that nose traced down your cheek and over your jaw before his lips brushed over your ear.
“At the risk of sounding like that tosser, would you like to get out of here? My hotel is just up the street.”
Everything you’d ever been taught was to not go home with a guy you just met. What if he was dangerous? What if he was a murderer? What if Joe was just leading you on like so many others had and would find some excuse to get rid of you once he got what he wanted?
You turned your head, meeting his eyes, and all of those warning bells just silenced instantly. You trusted him. You had no reason to. You didn’t even know him. Maybe his whole rescuing you had been a ruse. Maybe this entire night was a game but you didn’t think so and you found you didn’t care.
“Yes,” you answered simply.
Joe tossed money down onto the bar and then wrapped his hand around yours, pulling you out the door. You allowed him to lead you up the street, the two of you walking silently, your heart beating so loud that it pounded in your eyes, a combination of anticipation and nerves. You trembled and Joe must have thought you were chilly because he slipped off his jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders, his arm following, tucking you against him.
Jesus Christ, he smelled amazing: a combination of citrus, cigarettes, and something else, something almost floral but deep, a masculine herbal kind of smell. It had to be his cologne. You couldn’t place it but damn, it assaulted your nostrils in the most beautiful way. It was warm and complex and intoxicating. Combine that with the warmth of his body pressed up against your side and he had taken complete control of your senses.
“Here we are,” he commented as you approached the hotel, holding open the door, his hand on the small of your back as you walked into the lobby and crossed to the elevators.
The second the doors closed behind you, Joe’s hand was brushing your hair back from your shoulder, his lips moving over your neck, soft open mouthed kisses that had your knees wobbling and your breath catching in your throat.
“Bloody hell, you smell like heaven,” he rasped, arms slipping around your waist, tongue tracing a line down the side of your throat. “You taste amazing too.”
You spun in his arms, hands holding the back of his head, crashing your lips to his. He groaned in surprise as his arms locked around you, crushing you to his chest. The elevator doors opened and Joe guided you, backing you toward his room, his mouth never leaving yours as he pulled your bottom lip between his, suckling until you whimpered.
Your back pressed against the door as he fumbled in his pocket for his room key, a string of curses muttered between kisses. Your body was a bomb, the beat of your heart the incessant ticking warning you that an explosion was coming soon. Finally, you stumbled back into the room, Joe’s arms the only thing that kept you from falling as he got the door open.
Joe pulled his lips from yours just long enough to tug his shirt over his head, his hands cupping your face once again, lips against yours as he backed you up toward the bed. The two of you fell backward, his arms coming down on either side of your head to keep himself from crushing you.
Your hand moved into his curls, so goddamn soft as his lips moved over your neck again, pulling the tender flesh between his teeth, marking you. Your neck arched as you gasped, hips rolling into his. Joe groaned, pressing back, the feel of his desire creating delicious friction and you found your hips moving against him. Joe responded, grinding against you, his nose brushing up your cheek and then his forehead was pressed against yours. His chest rose and fell rapidly as you moved together, too many damn clothes in the way.
“Darling, if we keep this up, I feel this night will be very disappointing for you,” he warned, those brown eyes dark with lust, only stoking the fire within you.
His hands were on the hem of your shirt then, pulling it up and over your head, tossing it across the room. He sat up, hips straddling your thighs, his eyes soaking in every inch of you.
“My god, love, you are the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen,” he said, his voice a low rumble that sent a shock of pleasure to your very core as his body crashed down upon yours once again and the whole world tilted on its axis.
Joe’s lips trailed delicious heat across your skin, everywhere they touched felt like it was alive, humming with electricity. They trailed over your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, the flesh of your breasts that spilled out of the top of your lacy pink bra. Those beautiful eyes found yours again, silently asking for permission as his hand slid under you, fingers resting on the clasp.
You nodded. Jesus, he could do anything he wanted right now. There was nothing you would say no to and in one quick movement, your bra was gone. Joe groaned in appreciation and then his tongue was dancing over your nipple, the hard bud like a candy between his lips. And then it was moving, nipping at the other, raking his teeth across it as you cried out.
You arched your back, pressing yourself more fully against his mouth. His fingers undid the button on your pants, once again glancing up for confirmation that you were okay with it. The need to have your consent was so damn sexy but so unnecessary.
“You don’t…you don’t have to ask…I’m good…” you stammered. “I am so good with anything right now.”
“Noted, darling. You are so beautiful. When I saw you in that bar, I thought you were the most lovely thing I had ever seen. I knew I would kick myself if I didn’t make my move,” he whispered, his lips pressing against the skin of your abdomen as his hands pulled your pants over your hips. Joe settled between your legs on his stomach, his eyes holding yours. “I want to make you feel good. Bloody hell, darling, I have to taste you.”
You gasped at his words, your body trembling in anticipation. The sight of him between your legs, eager to please you was enough to send you over the edge but god you had to know how that mouth felt.
Joe pressed open mouthed kisses along your inner thighs, his fingers dancing along the skin, up and down. He was teasing, tormenting you until you wanted to scream. Your chest rose and fell hard with each shuddering breath you took. As his tongue finally slid along your folds, opening you up, before finding your clit, you cried out, eyes rolling up in ecstasy.
“Is that good?” he asked, pausing for a moment.
“God yes…” you murmured, whimpering as he continued, his
tongue tracing lazily around and over you. He was taking his time, worshiping you with his mouth and tongue. You had never felt anything like it. You’d never been with someone who seemed so concerned about your pleasure, who seemed to get off on providing your pleasure. He was a man on a mission and he was going to get a gold star because fuck, he was amazingly talented.
Joe pressed a finger inside of you as his tongue continued to torment you in the most delectable way. Your hands curled in the sheets beneath you, bunching them in your fists as you rolled your hips against his face. Joe added another finger as his lips pulled your clit between them, suckling gently on the overstimulated bud.
“Oh my god…Joe…” you gasped, your stomach knotting,
muscles tensing, sensing your climax rapidly approaching.
“That’s it, darling. Cum for me,” he urged, his hot breath brushing over your center.
His tongue began flicking up and down over your clit as he curled his fingers in a way that sent you plummeting over her edge. You screamed his name, your entire body shaking uncontrollably as you rode out your high. Gasping, you slowly opened your eyes to find Joe braced over top of you again, a soft smile playing on his lips, clearly satisfied with himself and he had every right to be.
“Fuck…” you muttered. “I have never…I mean, no guy has ever made me feel like that…that was incredible.”
“That’s how it should be,” Joe said, dropping his head and pressing a kiss to your forehead, your cheeks, your lips. It felt so sweet, so loving, so familiar. Everything that it shouldn’t feel like as you’d just met the man. “You should be worshiped like the fucking beautiful woman that you are. Any man who isn’t making sure his girl is taken care of, is no real man.”
“Well, then you, Joe, are definitely a real man because I feel well taken care of,” you replied, smirking up at him. Reaching between you, you slid your hand under the waistband of his pants and into his boxers, gripping him softly.
Joe groaned, his eyes closing, “Hey. I know we just met. We don’t have to go all the way if you don’t want.”
“I want to,” you insisted, unbuttoning his jeans and pushing them down over his hips. “I want you, all of you, and I’m on the pill so we’re good.”
With a grin, Joe pushed his pants and boxers the rest of the way off. Your eyes widened as you took in the full sight of his naked body, from his strong arms to his soft but lean stomach. Jesus, he was so damn beautiful. He settled himself back between your legs, one hand on his cock, the other next to your head on the mattress.
Joe slowly pressed himself into you, so gently at first, until he’d bottomed out, his pelvis flush against yours. He was thick, stretching your walls more than they’d ever been stretched. Your mouth fell open, eyes slipped closed. He groaned, his forehead dropping against yours as he remained still for a moment, allowing you to adjust to his girth. You wound your legs around his hips, your hands coming to hold his face, letting him know with your eyes that you were good.
“Shit, you feel even better than I imagined,” Joe breathed, one hand cupping the back of your neck, the other winding around your back. “It’s like your pussy was made for me.”
“Fuck,” you groaned as he began to move his hips, ever so slowly, pressing himself fully into you each time. Every inch of your skin was pressed against his, as if the two of you were melding into one.
Your hands slid around him, gripping his shoulder blades as he picked up the pace, thrusting into you more quickly. When your nails dug into his flesh, raking over his back, he hissed, hips slamming against yours forcefully.
“Jesus…” he growled. “You’re so fucking wet. You’re taking me so good, love. Feels so damn good…”
You moaned, unable to speak as he pressed himself so deeply within you, it felt as if he were reaching places that had never been touched before. He ground himself against you, his pelvis applying sweet pressure exactly where you needed it. You had never experienced sex like this. She’d been with quite a few guys over the years but it had always been fast and furious, worried about getting themselves off. This with Joe, it was more than just sex, it was like a spiritual experience.
“I’m so close, sweetheart,” Joe groaned. “Is it okay if I…?”
“Yes…yeah,” you managed because you couldn’t stand the thought of him pulling out. You were so close. You wanted him to fill you. Whimpering, you gripped him tightly, shocked at how quickly you were racing toward orgasm once again.
Joe rocked his hips into you once, twice, three more times and then he pressed himself up and into you firmly, holding you tightly against, as his body shuddered and he grunted, filling you with his release. You quickly followed, your fingers gripping onto his shoulder blades for dear life as you soared for the second time that night.
“Fuck me…” rasped Joe, collapsing down on top of you, your sweat slicked skin slipping against one another.
“I think I just did that,” you giggled, your body a useless puddle of goo on the bed.
“Mmm…” he murmured, kisses pressed over your collarbone. “When I decided to talk to you, I never expected to get so lucky tonight.”
“Well, I did say I needed to find a better way to say thank you,” you teased, your fingers playing with his hair.
“Oh, darling, that more than sufficed,” Joe replied, lips capturing yours. “I would say we’re even.”
“Well good. Did uh…did you want me to go?” you asked with uncertainty.
“You must be joking,” he scoffed, head rocking back, the cutest little lines appearing on his forehead as he frowned. He gathered you in his arms, pulling you to his chest. “I am never letting you leave this bed.” He peppered your face with kisses until you were laughing.
#joe quinn#joe quinn fanfic#joe quinn smut#joe quinn x fem!reader smut#joe quinn x reader#joe quinn x you#smut#joseph quinn#joseph quinn smut#joseph quinn fanfiction#joseph quinn x reader#joseph quinn stranger things
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Alex Keller X GN!Reader
Field of Flowers
Warnings: Fluff.
“We’ve been inseparable for almost eight years. For some reason I just assumed I’d always have you around. I don’t wanna face that reality but I have to now. Saying goodbye completely ends the story.”
“New chapters mean you get to keep on writing the story. Why would it make you scared?”
“I’m terrified honestly. I want a life outside of all this, to be able to lay in a field of flowers and rest.” Motioning to your ballistics vest and the gun on his hip. “But ive been doing this for so long it’s almost like I have to completely hit reset on my life. I can’t tell anybody about any of this. About what I’ve done, the places I’ve seen. Hell, I can’t even tell them about you. It all dies with me.”
Over all these years with Alex you never told him your feelings. Too afraid to lose the only person who’s stuck by your side. Every mission, every wound, every sunrise and sunset he was with you. Learning to live without him was going to be hard. It was going to be even harder trying to start the life you envisioned without him.
Alex leaned against the hummer next to you trying to find the words to say. He hated that you were leaving. But he couldn’t ask you to stay with him. Not when he just abandoned the CIA for farahs army. But he loves you too much to tell you his feelings. He wants you to be happy, not to go to bed wondering if he’s ok or when he’ll return to you.
“I hope you find peace and get everything you want out of this lifetime. You deserve it.” His words felt heavy leaving his chest. “How about instead of goodbye, I’ll see you around.”
Tears welled up in your eyes. Biting your lip to try and stop a choked sob from leaving your lips. Nodding and looking at the sunset. “I’ll see you around Alex.” You look up at him, just as pretty as the day you first met. Only couple more scars and some lines around his eyes changed him. His eyes still sparkled when they looked into yours. A single tear falls down from your eyes taking in the sight of the man you’ll never see again.
His hand comes to rest on the nape of your neck as the other wipes away the single tear. Pressing a kiss to your forehead he takes in this final moment. His forehead rests against yours knowing he has to let go now or he won’t let you go. “I’ll see you around.”
And he’s gone. Gone from your life. You’re left watching the sun disappear over the mountains wondering why it is to be like this.
It’s been a little over three years since that day. You opened up that company you always told Alex about. Got a car and even purchased a home. Everything on paper looked like you had become quite successful. Your family was excited to have you home. But with all good things considered it didn’t feel how you thought it would.
The house was quiet. Making friends in your late twenties proved to be difficult. And every date you went on couldn’t compare to the man you left in a war zone. You thought about him often. Was he doing well? Was he making sure to eat enough? Was there someone that could cut his hair as well as you could? And the scariest thought, was he still alive?
Your dreams were fleeting with memories of your time together and the battles fought. Often times waking you in the night too scared to fall back asleep. Even though you were happy to be away from it all you still thought about it, if you hadn’t left. Stayed and told him that you loved him. Or should you have just told him before you left. At least then you’d have had an answer of some sort. Never to be left wondering like you still do. The waves of regret consumed you from time to time.
Today was a slow day, as most Mondays are for your company so it was just you today. You sat behind your computer finishing up this months paperwork. The front door bell chimed upon someone entering. Since it was just you, you headed to the front to greet the customer.
“Hello, how can I-“ you stopped dead in your tracks in disbelief when your eyes noticed the man standing there. Soft eyes, strong arms, and a smile like no other.
“Hi” he could barely make out that single word. Just seeing you took the breath out of his lungs. “I said I’ll see you later, not goodbye.” His mustache covered lips turned up into a smirk.
You run up to him wrapping your arms around his neck in a hug. His warm embrace welcoming you into his arms. His arms wrapped around you felt more like home than anything has the past three years.
“I can’t believe you’re here” your hands cup his face, thumbs caressing his cheeks “What are you doing here?”
“Laswell got my name cleared, thought about lying in a field of flowers like you said.” His arms still wrapped around you not wanting to let go. “And there was something I didn’t tell you before you left, I’m hoping I’m not too late.”
“What didn’t you tell me.” Your arms unraveled and your hands rest on his strong chest. You could feel his heart beating fast.
Taking a deep breath he looks deep into you. “That I’ve been in love with you since the moment I met you.”
Your voice weakened with the joy of hearing his confession. “I wanted to tell you I loved you before I left but I was scared you didn’t love me back.”
Alex looked down at you with a look you had seen glimpses of but never fully. It was love, joy, excitement and more passion than anyone had ever looked at you with in your lifetime.
Without words you both embraced in a passionate kiss making up for all the lost years. His hands pulling your hips into him closer desperately wanting to keep you close. Your hands traveling from his chest to his neck. Clinging to each other fearing separation. After what felt like eternity your lips departed one another.
“So since the moment you met me?” How could you have not seen? Was that truly what all those intense moments of eye contact meant? The fighting over each other going into something far too dangerous. Love?
His bright goofy smile was uncontrollable “Yeah”
You couldn’t help but laugh recalling that exact moment in time. “Alex I had a gun to your head because Laswell didn’t tell me I was gonna have a partner that mission. I was seconds away from killing you”
“Can’t lie it was definitely intimidating, but oddly attractive.” He smirked knowing it was the honest truth.
You give his chest a light hit at his comment “Shut up and kiss me again.”
“Yes ma’am.”
#call of duty#alex keller#cod#cod alex keller#alex keller imagine#alex keller call of duty#alex keller x reader#alex keller x y/n#alex keller x you#cod x you#flowerwrites#call of duty x reader#call of duty x y/n#call of duty x you#john price#captain john price#simon ghost riley smut#soap mactavish
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AITA for hooking up with a guy my friend was also interested in?
(Everyone is in their early 20s.)
I(X) and my best friend Ally(F) went on a trip recently to visit our friend Blake(M) for four days and stay over at his house with his roommates; his gf and two friends David(M) and one other person(F).
Our first night there we got to meet everyone, and when she and I were alone we both talked about how attractive we thought David was and that we were both interested in him.
The day after, I started to try to get to know him, and she didn’t ever have any conversations with him. At night some of us were going to go to a show, but I didn’t really feel like it and coincidentally David also didn’t want to go to the show. I told Ally I didn’t feel like going and I asked her “are you ok with me staying behind? Please be honest.” and she said she was ok with it (she later told me she was lying). While everyone was away, David and I watched some cartoons and ended up cuddling. When everyone comes back they join us and watch a bit with us until everyone gets tired so it’s just Ally and I. She tells me about how much fun she had and showed me some pictures. She didn’t say she was uncomfortable or upset with me.
The next day David and I talk a bit more and get to know each other some more, and Ally hasn’t expressed any discomfort. She still isn’t trying to get to know him or talk to him. There’s another show that night and I decide to go. Ally says she’s too tired from the last one to go, and David chooses to go. At the show we made out and had a really fun time.
When we get back to the house I tell Ally about the show and then all of us play some games together. Nothing feels awkward between Ally and I. We’re just joking around and having fun.
When we finish playing, I go to David’s room and we hook up. We had a really fun time and joked around a lot. He said we would be willing to do it again and we decided to stay fwb.
The day afterwards Ally is being really rude to me. It was our last day there and David, Blake, and Blake’s gf go with us to the airport. I hug everyone goodbye and David gave me a kiss. Ally hugs the others but only waved to David. Our whole plane ride back was really awkward. My boyfriend (we’re open/polyam) picked us up from the airport and Ally was quiet the whole time. Ally and my bf are roommates and I asked if I could stay over because I missed him. And with a rude tone Ally said “fine, but I spent all these days with you and I’m tired. Don’t expect me to hang out with you. Also I have work early in the morning so I would rather you not make any noise”. She didn’t even thank my bf for the ride.
My bf and I decide to spend the night at my house instead, and the next day Ally asks me to come over to talk. She tells me I hurt her feelings by pursuing David because she REALLY likes him and I ruined her chance with him. The whole time she is yelling at me and not even trying to listen to my POV. I apologized for hurting her feelings, but told her I had no idea and she should have told me she was uncomfortable. All she said was “you should have KNOWN”. Now Ally has been telling our friends I hooked up with a guy I knew she was interested in, but isn’t even telling them the full story so I look like TA.
I think I was wrong for hurting her feelings. I can admit that. However I don’t think I’m wrong for hooking up with David. She never bothered to get to know him, nor did she tell me she was uncomfortable. Not to mention the fact that over the many years we’ve been friends, Ally has dated two of my exs and I’ve had guys leave me for her. I never fought with her over that, only expressed disappointment. This is the first time a man we’re both interested in chose me over her.
David, Blake, and the others plan on visiting us in April and she wants to try to flirt with him and is telling me to not do anything with him, as if David doesn’t have any say in this either.
There’s more I could probably add to the story considering the long friendship I’ve had with her, but this is already really long. So… AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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pairings: wonbin x gn!reader
warnings: angst, chronic cheater wonbin, toxic wonbin, pathetically down bad wonbin
notes: i know this isn’t the best, but i hope it’s still fun to read because i had fun writing this 🫡
after cheating on you, wonbin thought that that’d be it.
never in his life did he envision himself offering his commitment to you after you moved on (in theory).
“…did you seriously cheat on me while i was sleeping?”
you squinted, observing the enigmatic creature in front of you. the two of you were seated comfortably on your bed, facing one another fiercely with contrasting expressions. wonbin’s expression was nonchalant.
like cheating on his partner was a completely normal and reasonable thing to do. you could immediately tell that he didn’t care, and that made you sick to your stomach—not with sadness, but with pure malice.
“last night? yeah.”
you were seething with rage.
your expression was calm with a poisonous gaze as you observed him in all his slyness.
“what do you mean by that..?”
you inquired, leaning in ever so slightly to let his words flow through your mind and settle.
“including you, i’ve taken like, seven people’s virginities since we’ve started dating.”
he admitted, appearing indifferent—to a chilling degree—at his direct assertion.
wonbin really didn’t care, did he?
you thought back to all the times in your relationship with wonbin. you remembered every date you had, every post, every text, and you could feel it all fall apart.
you could feel all of this land on you.
“ok, so can you get out of my fucking house now?”
the corner of wonbin’s lips twitched upwards.
you hated it. you hated that you weren’t sure if you felt like crying because you wanted to strangle him or because he didn’t look like he cared at all about you.
about all that time you’d spent together.
it was all thrown away, all those memories and emotions being a bunch of bullshit.
“yeah.”
wonbin got up, taking his things and casually walking to his car. as you watched his back get more and more distant, you fought everything in you to push down the lump in your throat and the tears welling up in your eyes. as you heard your breath stutter, faint sniffling, and wonbin’s car fading away, you felt your face heat up and your cheeks dampen with your tears.
just how much of your time did he waste..?
it hadn’t taken you and wonbin very long to find other people—though, saying the feelings were genuine would be anything but accurate.
while wonbin was insistent on asserting his love life (mostly the sex part) on his public story, you opted for the alternative, instead, posting cheesy posts about your new lover.
whether it was real or not was hard to discern, though, you were adamant on making it seem realistic.
just to piss wonbin off.
needless to say, it’d worked.
it irked wonbin, it really did. he didn’t like that you pretended like you never blushed when he’d enter the room you were in, he didn’t like that you acted like you never loved him, he hated how quickly you’d moved onto someone who was so subpar compared to him.
obviously, he was better, but it irked him that you didn’t see that. it was as if wonbin, the man who caught everyone’s eye was not attractive enough for you to miss.
and it pissed him off.
wonbin’s relationship was flawed too. this, he knew. by technical standards, it barely counted as one, moreso fitting a haphazard (at best) attempt at a committed friends with benefits relationship. clearly, his moral footing had been compromised, considering that even in this sort of relationship, where they were both okay with sleeping with others, he still couldn’t contain the urges to cheat.
it was pathetic too, like he was falling right into the palms of your hands even though it was supposed to be the other way around.
he hated the way you were making him feel.
wonbin stared blankly at his phone screen, thinking less than deeply about the consequences of his actions.
he wished he could say he felt bad, but he’d be lying. not when he was this desperate for your attention.
it only took so long before you broke up with your rebound, the guilt of playing with someone like that eating at you.
you were better than this; you weren’t like wonbin.
eventually, the news had reached wonbin (rather quickly). a brow of yours furrowed, irritated that wonbin still refused to leave you alone. when you saw the notification he’d sent, you audibly gasped, evidently not prepared for what he’d said.
your eyes widened, mildly shocked that he was willing to let go of his unapologetic and arrogant demeanor to sleep with you. it was a first, which was an honor, but it sounded rather silly to think that wonbin ever had a chance of getting you back after what he did.
besides, those feelings for wonbin weren’t real, why would you waste your time on him?
he’d never learn to actually love you.
you set your phone down, laying back down on your couch and staring blankly at the ceiling. you fidgeted with your hands, sighing quietly.
all you could think about?
… unfortunately, life with loyal wonbin.
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Beauty and the Borg – A B7 Shipper’s Manifesto
So. We’ve come here in my life where I just need to talk about ships I love and everyone has to see this. Only not but whatever. I’m gonna try to break this down old school in how I remember shippers manifestos in livejournal days, complete with images. And thus to begin:
What is Star Trek: Voyager?
Unless you live under a rock you’ve probably just heard of Star Trek, maybe not watched it but heard of it. Starting in 1966 the Original Series was released, ran for three years, was canceled due to an infamous error in Neilson ratings and established the franchise. There was an animated series people often forget about, six movies for the Original series, and then in 1987 they brought it back as a live action show called Star Trek: The Next Generation. It did so well and engrained itself in the conscious of many people that they often refer to it as the best Trek but believe me that’s a debate on it’s own. And thus had it’s own spin off, Deep Space Nine in 1993. While not as popular as TNG it’s grouped into what people call the 90s Trek. With the last one being the last spin off in 1995: Star Trek: Voyager.
Where DS9 introduced the first black captain (though it took three years for him to get that promotion, boo), VOY introduced the first female captain lead of a Star Trek series. The premise of the show was that on a hunt for some resistance fighters both ships are pulled through the Alpha Quadrant to the Delta Quadrant. Approximately seventy-thousand light years from home. Due to the choice made by the captain, Kathryn Janeway, they are then stranded there and the crews of the ships band together on Voyager to make their way back to the Alpha Quadrant and get home.
That’s an extreme simplification but basically Lost in Space for Star Trek.
And that leads us to the characters of this essay:
B’Elanna Torres - The Engineer Who Built This Society
A half-human, half-klingon Maquis born to John Torres (human) and Miral (Klingon). She and her mother were the only Klingons on the colony where they lived and as such B’Elanna was teased and made fun of at school. Her father eventually couldn’t take being married to a Klingon and left her and her mother, an incident which left B’Elanna worrying was her fault being half Klingon.. She was then raised on the Klingon homeworld until she left to join Starfleet Academy…
And quit it.
Basically she couldn’t find herself fitting in yet again and left to once again find her place which brought her to the Maquis.
The Maquis were a group of resistance fighters, depending who you ask of course, that fought for the freedom of species, mostly Bajor, from Cardassian rule. They were considered to be a threat by the Federation and hunted down by both Cardassians and the Federation. B’Elanna was only in the group roughly for a year before the incident that stranded them in the Delta Quadrant occurred. She did think of that group as her family though and felt both indebted to them and loved them.
While on Voyager she became Chief Engineer and was damn fucking good at it but let’s get into the heart of her character here. B’Elanna suffers from depression over the course of the series and self doubt when it comes to herself while not at the job. She pushes people away while simultaneously hoping they’ll stay anyway.
She pushes herself to her limits, trying to see if she’s enough and never really finding that answer. She also struggles with a connection to both her parents and her cultures; coming more to terms with the Klingon culture as time goes on and also striking up conversation with her father again. She’s also a big romantic who reads romance novels.
Tragically that kicks off her romance with Tom Paris and they eventually get married and have a kid together and even then B’Elanna worries for her child who will still look Klingon. She doesn’t want her kid to have to go through what she did and suffer for it. In the end she chooses to accept her child will look like her as a Klingon but it’s clear the thought will linger on for her regardless.
She’s blunt and sarcastic and brash, takes no shit, and loves her friends very very deeply.
Seven of Nine - What I Want is to be Useful
Seven of Nine didn’t come in until season 4 of Voyager. Basically here because of sexism and the writers wanting that sweet sweet sex appeal. She was a human, once called Annika Hansen born to Magnus and Erin Hansen. Her parents were scientists who were studying the Borg and took their daughter along with them for…reasons. Look it wasn’t very smart.
Lo and behold the Borg caught on to the fact they were being watched and assimilated Seven and her family. At the time she was only six and thus spent most of her life in a borg cube, as such she has a…unique take on cultures.
She ended up on Voyager because Voyager made a deal with the Borg to get through their area of space. Then Janeway cut her connection to the Borg and Seven was left floundering and suddenly alone. The Borg are a hive mind type species and she’d had that for over twenty years of her life. The shock left her reeling though she’d hardly admit it.
Seven is a complicated character in a lot of aspects, the series generally tries to explore her gaining her independence and learning about herself and where she fits in. It’s not perfect and often clumsily written, especially when it comes to the Doctor teaching her. They do push a lot of gender ideas as well which haven’t aged well. And leave her in those terrible catsuits. She also, due to her stubbornness, butts heads with a lot of the characters as she’s trying to figure this out.
(Seven also shows up later in the Picard series but I am only talking about her as she pertains to Voyager in this essay.)
Unlike B’Elanna she’s not really a romantic though the show does give her romance options including setting her up with Chakotay right at the end for…also reasons. And where B’Elanna only takes the mother position towards the end of the show Seven actually has a character who is like her son, another ex-Borg named Icheb introduced in season 6. As well as looking after Naomi Wildman (first baby on Voyager, we all love her) who she admits is family.
For all the imperfect writing they have about her I’ll give them that.
Seven is logical and cold, sure in her abilities and has a drive for perfection.
A Collective of Two - B7
To say these two don’t get along at first is an understatement. B’Elanna is mistrusting of Seven and Seven looks down on B’Elanna. They both see each other as stubborn and rude and want the other out of the way while they work (See Scientific Measure in which they argue in a Jefferies Tube and Message in a Bottle where B’Elanna does a full call out on Seven). At one point (Day of Honor) B’Elanna even asks Seven if she regrets everything she did as Borg, assimilating other cultures, and Seven says no. Granted if she asked that again to season seven Seven (har har) the answer would be far more complicated.
Seven comes to value her independence and individuality across the series. She comes to see the Voyager crew as her collective. In one episode (called One, I’m on a roll here, let me have this.) Seven is left alone while the rest of the crew is in stasis. The EMH is around but even he gets disrupted and Seven is by herself on the ship with only her hallucinations and herself to talk to. It’s the end of the episode that stands out here.
In the beginning of the episode she approaches B’Elanna and Harry and well, annoys them. She doesn’t see an issue with this and is not here for friendship. The end of the episode she approaches them again, and I guess Tom is there too, whatever, and asks to sit with them. When they say yes she sits down next to B’Elanna and admits she felt the need for companionship. It’s a huge step with Seven seeking others out.
On the other side is B’Elanna the episode right before that, Demon. She isn’t allowed to go down to a planet to look for her friends because Chakotay is worried she isn’t a ‘cool head’ that’s needed for this assignment. After a bit of a fight it’s then that B’Elanna requests Seven go then in her place, after all “Nobody’s head is cooler than hers”. An insult and a compliment in one, B’Elanna and Seven’s relationship in a nutshell. But the point here is that B’Elanna has come to trust Seven. Towards the end of season four there’s a measure of respect between them and acknowledgement of each other’s skills.
(Also see Message in a Bottle, when B’Elanna first approves of a plan Seven sets forth. And waits till no one is in the room to see her do it.)
Which brings us to the end of season four. Voyager has potentially found a way home (spoiler alert: there’s three more seasons. They have not.) and at one point B’Elanna and Seven are working together on the other ship which prompts a conversation about Earth. Seven during the conversation points out that B’Elanna seems eager to return, which B’Elanna denies. Then as Seven says it “You were a member of the Maquis. Starfleet Command will no doubt hold you responsible for a multitude of crimes. You will find nothing on Earth but adversity.” And we get the following scene:
Of course then B’Elanna plays it off as a joke later but the line still stands out to me. It truly does show how the two of them view themselves. B’Elanna isn’t accepted because she’s half-Klingon or because she’s a Maquis. Seven isn’t accepted because she’s ex-Borg or, in the words of B’Elanna, she’s rude. While they’ve carved out an area of acceptance on Voyager that doesn’t mean it extends beyond that.
Earth is an unknown for the both of them at this time. They’re more alike and are starting to see that even if they won’t admit it. Yet.
Of course, they’re also still not about to admit it in season five.
Season five has a…bad episode in it called Infinite Regress that regrettably I have to talk about. In it Seven is taking on other personalities from people who she assimilated over the years. At one point she takes on a male Klingon and, well. Tries to mate with B’Elanna which includes biting her on her cheek. The only saving factor of that episode is that it starts the Seven and Naomi friendship and also this line:
That’s it.
Honestly season five isn’t the best for B7 stuff, there’s a few scenes like in Extreme Risk when B’Elanna is going through some major depression and Seven comes to her to discuss a project or even in the Course: Oblivion episode though sadly that’s not actually them but clone selves. And I say that with an absolute straight face even as a snicker about it. Turns out you can forget you’re a clone but can’t forget you’ve got chemistry with each other.
Sure girl. Tell her that after she just got married, just say you wanna open her relationship to include you already.
There is however one fun and stand out scene towards the end of season five, see it turns out Seven has been stalking B’Elanna (and Tom) to study mating rituals. Honestly, worst choice there, Seven. Needless to say, B’Elanna notices and doesn’t take this “study” well.
It’s nice to see not all the antagonism is gone. But they still have time to reach an understanding! Sorta. Also that episode is Someone to Watch Over Me. Don’t watch it, that’s the only good scene.
I gotta add one scene however from Relativity even if B’Elanna isn’t in the scene herself. Tom approaches Seven to team up for a ping pong match and of course Seven isn’t interested. Until B’Elanna is brought up.
Like Seven. Babe just say you wanna impress B’Elanna.
And thus we go to season six.
Okay I’ll be honest, this season doesn’t have a lot for them either. Season four and seven are standouts in their interactions imo. And since this is my essay it’s all my opinion. I blame the het ships they were both forced in.
But in Survival Instinct they do get a nice scene together. In the episode Seven is suffering having come into contact with her old unimatrix and remembering something she did. She can’t fully piece it all together and it’s shaken her up. At one point B’Elanna tries to comfort her while they’re going over data and Seven snaps back that she has no feelings about the past. And then clearly regrets it, something season four Seven absolutely wouldn’t care about.
It’s a show of how far they’ve both come. B’Elanna offering comfort to Seven and Seven acknowledging that her words hurt B’Elanna. It’s a small subtle scene that makes me really happy.
There’s a few other scenes here and there too, in The Voyager Conspiracy Seven once comms B’Elanna right as she wakes up and I just find that funny. Like sure, don’t wait till you’re on shift. A moment in Tsunkatse where B’Elanna jokes about Borgs and fun to Seven. And then in Fury when Kes gets to engineering there’s a blink and you’ll miss it scene where B’Elanna reaches back to pass Seven a phaser and they’re both just very in sync in the scene. And then B’Elanna dies and Seven sees it :( at least it’s all undone in the end. She’s fine. Death in Star Trek: Voyager is a punch card honestly; punch it ten times and get a free replacement from another reality. (Sorry Harry)
That ties up that season in a tragically low point for them but that’s okay because it’s season seven.
Season seven was the last one Voyager had. B’Elanna marries Tom and gets pregnant, Seven gets into a bit of a rushed relationship with Chakotay right at the end. Voyager finally gets home but these two are gay between them and the joke’s on the Voyager writers. Unlike them I can pretend Tom/B’Elanna never happened at all.
Right at the start is the episode Imperfection where a Borg implant Seven has is failing and she must face the fact she might die. In response she chooses to work, as she says “What I want is to be useful.” And for that she chooses not to go to her usual post in Astrometrics but to hide out in Engineering. So I could infer that Engineering, and thus B’Elanna who is in charge of it, is a safe space for her. That’s made even more clear when B’Elanna finds her and they have a talk about life and legacy.
It’s an incredibly soft and meaningful scene, where B’Elanna expresses that Seven has made an impact on everyone (herself quietly included). It’s interrupted by the Doctor finding them but that leads to B’Elanna coming to Seven’s defense and saying she can stay in Engineering. B’Elanna will keep an eye on her.
Unlike at the end of season four where B’Elanna lumps them together as outcasts and then jokes about it, this time she is completely serious. She has Seven’s back, they are “[the] difficult patients” who are in this together after all. Sadly that’s the last they interact this episode however brief it was it really goes to show how they’ve come together as a unit and a friendship.
There’s a few more scattered moments in season seven episodes, in Drive Seven is the one who convinces B’Elanna to accept Tom’s hobbies. Like she needs to. Look I’m not bitter (lies). In Lineage when B’Elanna finds out she’s pregnant and stumbles Seven is the one to reach out to steady her and deliver that news to her. It’s almost funny that Icheb is also there and once had a crush on B’Elanna, like wrong ex-Borg Voyager writers.
This does lead us to Human Error though, which has quite a few more moments with them but also sadly the last time they really interact.
In the episode Seven has been taking advantage of the holodeck to imagine different moments, including herself without Borg implants. One of the moments is B’Elanna’s baby shower though they don’t interact there. Instead Seven misses the real baby shower and awkwardly arrives at engineering with a belated gift for B’Elanna.
It’s cute, Seven’s really trying to connect here. And then keeps trying to connect.
Girl…I don’t have time (okay I do) to explain how gay this is. Seven could have chosen anyone on the ship and choses to try to connect with B’Elanna here. Including noting her appearance and asking about it. Of course the funniest thing is B’Elanna’s side eye after the fact.
Of course the scene is meant to be humorous, look how Seven once again struggles to connect to people but I chose to take it at face value here. Every other time it’s been B’Elanna reaching out to connect with Seven and this time it’s Seven reaching out to connect with her. They’re both trying in their own weird way.
The episode ends without further interaction but there is one moment at the end:
Like the Tom moment above I just think it’s funny that people are out here like ‘no Seven you should come. B’Elanna is there :)’
And that’s it. That’s the B7 in canon moments broken down. So let’s talk more about them because I can’t shut up.
Okay so like…why?
For the past oh…seven years I’ve been talking about B7 on my blog probably too much. I just think they’re neat! But now comes the time to explain that and I’m not the best at words but I’ll try.
For me it’s about the mirror they are to each other. Both are characters struggling with identity and where they fit in in a world that doesn’t want to fit them in. They’re extremely capable and smart but flawed. Whether the show writers realized it or not they made these two characters so similar and set up exploration of that and then just…never delivered.
I want the exploration there, I want to dive into what it means to see someone as a reflection of yourself but then acknowledge the good parts they have like when B’Elanna encourages Seven about her legacy and what an impact she has. Does she know that she has that same legacy? Does she even know she has those same doubts?
For two characters who are vastly different in personality there’s just so much they share and can share. They’re both disillusioned with Starfleet and people and yet trying. They’re put into boxes by society and just can’t fit. They’re done bad by the writers in pretty fucking horrible effect.
There’s a trilogy of books called Voyager String Theory, really only the first two are important in the context of B7 though. In the first book they crash land on a planet and at one point Seven has to give B’Elanna some borg nanoprobes to help her heal.
“We would be the collective- a collective of two.” Seven tells her. That alone struck me as how the two of them could be. Outcasts together. Difficult Patients. A Collective of Two.
(Also that book has a lot more gay points in it, please read it:
Like, c’mon.)
It shows the potential of them and while Picard really killed, hm, a lot of things, I always wanted to imagine a future where they got back to Earth and were that Collective. Dealing with this new area together. Oh sure they’d get on each other’s nerves, part of the fun for me is that I don’t think they’d ever really lose that antagonism, but after everything they’ve been through you can see how they’ve come to respect and count on each other.
TL;DR…90s trek writers accidentally made it gay again.
Supplemental
I’ll be honest, I have a tendency not to read fics of pairing I myself write because I’m terrified I might subconsciously take something from another writer without even realizing it in that same area of fanfic. So instead I’ll rely on two others fic rec lists:
https://trillscienceofficer.tumblr.com/post/706359122066636800/trillscienceofficers-belannaseven-fic-rec-list
https://punkbxt.tumblr.com/post/622585834575626240/b7-fics-that-i-read-over-and-over-again-without
I am in fact on there twice (favourites and you’ve got my number are mine) sooo feel free to ignore those if you’ve had enough of my writing at this point.
For other things I’d suggest punkbxt on tumblr for their amazing b7 art and comics. Again please read Voyager: String Theory at least the first book. It is gay.
There are also far far better people at putting things into words then me on good old hellsite dot com so honestly just go through the b7 tag. I wouldn’t recommend the character tags themselves though. Trust me.
If you made it this far then thank you for reading and I hope I could nudge you a little bit in the B7 direction (and thanks to @trillscienceofficer for all the help on this). Live fast and prosper~
#b'elanna torres#seven of nine#b7#beej talks star trek#like a whole fucking lot#trek femslash#I'm not even joking I stayed up till 2am working on this
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Overthinking Xena: Warrior Princess #3- Gabrielle created the multiverse
On account of it being Warrior Princess Day I wanted to post a crazy Xena theory I’ve been rolling with for a long time. So ok hear me out with this. What if XWP didn’t end exactly how we think it did and we were actually given 4 different endings to the show without knowing it.
At the end of When Fates Collide, Gabrielle torched the loom of fate, it burned down, the Earth exploded, and the timeline that Caesar screwed up went back to normal. BUT WHAT IF IT DIDN’T?? What if when Gabrielle burned down the loom of fate, she actually created THE MULTIVERSE. In a weird way this theory really ties up some loose ends and helps make sense of a few inconsistencies.
Because of the multiverse being created, then the ending of When Fates Collide, and every episode afterwards (Many Happy Returns, Soul Possession, and A Friend in Need I & II) were each taking place in different universes. They are all self contained but also seem to have some plot holes, inconsistency, and their own histories to tell. So, each one of these episodes could be considered different versions of the series finale. What helps tie this together is that the final scene for each one of these episodes is a shot of Xena and Gabrielle leaving together in one way or another like a snapshot pointing out to us exactly how they are all the same moment in different timelines.
When Fates Collide:
This is the first universe we see after the loom is destroyed. Gabrielle is shown, back in her Battling Bard attire, wandering a misty forest. Xena rides up on Argo, and says: “You brought the world back to us.” And Gabrielle answers: “I’m glad. I like this one better.” She then lifts Gabrielle onto the saddle with her, and they ride off into the fog.
It’s clear that they still have their memories from when the loom was tampered with. This is also the only episode where we see that they knew about what happened during that time. Because of this, I’m going to figure that this is the main branch of the Xena timeline. Everything in this timeline is as we’ve seen it throughout the show and when they ride off, that is the last that we see of our Xena and Gabrielle. This ending is the prime universe’s ending to the series.
Many Happy Returns:
This episode is a pretty happy-go-lucky, light hearted time. Xena and Gabrielle are delivering the Helmet of Hermes to Thebes with some religious zealots, Aphrodite, and a new/old villain thrown in. The villain, Ferragus, says how he fought Xena in the past, but neither the audience or Xena remembers ever seeing him before. The tone of the episode even feels like an earlier episode from season 2 or 3. Gabrielle’s personality is even lighter here, like we would have seen her in the early seasons, but not after season 5.
What really stands out here is how present the gods are. Aphrodite is back in full swing, Xena has the Helmet of Hermes for some reason, and monotheistic zealots are running amok without any mention of who they are worshipping. This world may have been one where Xena never slayed the Olympian gods and Eli never became the Avatar of the One God. It’s possible that the duo even avoided Alti’s crucifixion prophecy or that they never might have met Dahak in Britannia. They then would never have gone to Heaven and Hell and the twilight of the gods wouldn’t have even been brought up by Dahak in the first place.
Soul Possession:
This episode is full of plot holes and mentions a lot of things that don’t match up with the official XWP timeline. How could Xena have been married to Ares from seasons 4-6 but it was never brought up once? Why would Gabrielle sell her soul to Ares so that he could save Hope? Especially when Gabrielle is the one who was trying to kill Hope and after all she had been through up to that point? What would Ares even do with a soul? And what happened to Hope’s explanation of Gabrielle falling into a ledge in the lava pit, then crawling out later before being taken to a hospice? Even Xena’s chakram switching between the old and new versions between shots could be part of this argument.
One theory of all this could be that because Joxer was the one who wrote the scroll that the episode is based on, then he could have made a few mistakes. Most things that don’t match up are actually happening during the scenes that he isn’t present for. But what if these aren’t mistakes at all? What if these are all the specific differences between this universe and the prime one? There is also no mention here of the vigilante Xena and Gabrielle clones from earlier in the season, even though that is definitely something that C.H.A.K.R.A.M. would be on top of.
A Friend in Need:
This is obviously the main episode that everyone would love to be rewritten. And a lot of it actually is really out of place with the rest of Xena’s history. She visited Japan after going to China but before meeting Alti in Siberia. After Akemi’s death, however, Xena cut off all her hair. But it was seen as long again by the time she got to Siberia which could not have been too long after China in order to line up with Solan’s birth. In Japan, Xena is also responsible for the deaths of 40,000 people because of her burning down the village. This is not consistent with her admitting that Cirra was the only time she was responsible for this. If it also already happened in Higuchi on such a higher level then Callisto should not be as big of a sore spot to Xena as she is.
While it is possible that Xena went to Japan since she hints at it in Who’s Gurkhan, this universe might differ at her meeting Akemi and burning down Higuchi. It is also hard to believe that Xena would never have mentioned Akemi until now, or even hinted at knowing her, especially since she and Gabrielle were so much alike. This ending then was truly only ever the fate of the Xena who did do these things but not for the Xena that we see leaving with Gabrielle in the other 3 episodes.
So that’s it for my multiverse theory. It was a fun idea to jump onto before we’re all sick of the multiverse. I like this theory though because it’s a fun way to end the series. It also would leave a lot of doors open for a reboot, revival, or movie. Never gunna give that up. But anywho I’m super impressed if anyone made it to the end. I hope this got a few gears ticking in someone else’s head besides just mine.
Happy Warrior Princess Day!
#xena#fan theory#Xena: Warrior Princess#gabrielle#90s#head cannon#also this explains the xena scrolls
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okay this is way late but, as promised, my thoughts on the portwell breakup in episode 7:
First, to all the people saying Portwell was only ever meant to be a distraction, that it was never meant to be an endgame relationship, why all the buildup, then? Why put all that work into a relationship that doesn’t mean anything? If they really wanted Portwell to be a mid-game ship, they could have given them a few cute moments, but they wouldn’t have gone to the level of buying a plane ticket for the other, stepping in to save the day on multiple occasions, giving Gina an entire rom-com episode experience to help her realise her feeligns for EJ, the fricking couch scene, so many little things between them. Consider the fact that Rina was originally written as a distraction. Yes, plans change, but don’t act like Portwell never had any standing, when it was planned before Rina was planned to go anywhere, and it seems like at the time they were planning for Rini endgame. Maybe the writers aren’t going with Portwell endgame now, who knows, but I’m tired of people saying it was stupid to ship Portwell because they were never going to be endgame when Rina wasn’t always in the picture.
Second, the couch scene. Go back and watch that scene. I know we’ve all been saying EJ and Gina have been out of character from season 2 but when you watch that scene it’s like, these aren’t even the same people. This scene has been talked about a lot for how good it is so I won’t dive into that, but I want to talk about the implications that scene would have for EJ and Gina with the college situation.
Look, I’ve known people who were a year or two ahead of their high school S/O and stayed together when one went off to college while the other was still in school. Some of those relationships have broken up. But I know some people who have stayed together. To be able to stay together when you’re both living very different lives, you have to be able to empathize with each other and connect despite the differences in your lives. Which is exactly what happened in the couch scene in season 2. When EJ talks about having his life planned out for him, Gina says she can’t really relate. But they still connect in that moment and are able to understand each other. They both work to understand the other, they both listen, they’re COMMUNICATING SO WELL, which is what this season is trying to tell us they can’t do when we know they can. The two of them work so well as a team because they know how to be in sync, even when they’re going through different experiences. They’re each other’s support systems. They’re a literal power couple.
Additionally, EJ is planning on taking a gap year. So that would only be one year of him in college and her in high school, which is the same problem R*na will run into.
Now, onto the breakup. I still feel pretty suspicious because why would they have her say “two different summers” when that’s a camp rock 2 song about mitchie and shane, who got back together at the end of the movie. Also, we haven’t had them say I love you so I’m hoping for an “I love you” from EJ next episode. We’ll see what happens.
Anyways, Gina’s feelings are valid. Of course, after all the instability in her life she would want something stable. Of course, it would have been nice if these feelings were built up over the season, but still. The thing we can’t overlook, though, is that Gina’s mom never really fought for her future, but EJ is fighting. He’s fighting so hard for their future, for them to be more than a maybe. It’s so messed up to break them up over this, especially when R*na could be in the EXACT SAME POSITION in a year. Especially when things wouldn’t be a maybe in like one day if the show is a success.
If they had built-up Gina’s feelings about wanting stability in her future all-season, if they had naturally shown EJ’s life going down a different path and wanting to move away and do different things, if we had seen EJ not wanting to do all the camp things because he was starting to feel older and more separate from it (which would be kind of wack bc he’s only 18 not an adult-adult, but whatever) and not just because he has other responsibilities, if they had naturally led to a Portwell breakup in a way that still honoured the characters and their established relationship (that’s been building for three seasons), I could maybe get on board with it. It would be pretty heartbreaking to see two characters who value ambition and going after what you want realizing they both want to go two different directions and it’s time to separate. I still think they could work as a long-distance relationship, but I wouldn’t mind a breakup like that. But with how the show’s being written, it doesn’t make me want to root for R*na. Not when I know if EJ wasn’t being forced to deal with all these responsibilities, he would be the one with Gina in all these scenarios. He would be throwing his all into everything. Ghost hunting in the woods. Color Wars. Every little thing, he would try to make it the best ever. Ricky being there and being nice while EJ isn’t there because of something he didn’t want (the responsibility of directing a show)? That’s not something I’m going to root for. That’s just Ricky doing the bare minimum. Yeah he’s cute but he’s not exactly “better” for Gina, he’s just there.
Saying Portwell was always going to break up because of their age difference is a slap in the face to all the people with the 1-2 year age gap where one of them is in high school and the other graduated. And saying the breakup is valid because Gina’s feelings are valid doesn’t work, because the breakup still doesn’t make sense.
TLDR; if they wanted to break up Portwell and make R*na a relationship to root for, this wasn’t the way to do it.
I just hope things end in a satisfying way during the finale.
#portwell#anti rina#gina x ej#ej x gina#ej caswell#gina porter#high school musical the series#high school musical the musical the series#hsmtmts#hsmtmts season 3#hsmtmts 3
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🥶
More hunger games au! Ned and Cat’s interview pre the quarter quell games
“Now I know you have an obvious ally in a person that’s not from your own district. Catelyn, would you come down here again?”
Catelyn gives the interviewer a quick smile before with ease making her way down the stairs again. It doesn’t seem to be an issue despite her long skirt. Flowing blue and sea green that ends in white tulle that’s like foam. She carries the colours of a wave and moves with the elegance of one.
Donella gives up her seat, makes a quick bow towards the audience and instead walks towards where the other victors are standing. They give her a lukewarm applause, more interested in Catelyn. For a short second Ned feels sorry for that she has to be in Cat’s shadow, he’ll have to apologise for it afterwards.
Catelyn takes the chair with ease and her hand finds Ned’s before he has time to think of it. His world is crumbling around him, but at least there’s the familiar feeling of her cool hand in his. He looks at her and loves her. She’ll win, she has to.
“Hello, my darling ally” Catelyn says, a soft smile on her lips.
She’s so good at that. Smiling even as there’s rage and grief behind her eyes. He can feel it, she’s squeezing his hand harder than usually.
“Hello, wife.”
With her free hand she begins arranging her skirts around her, only then he notices that there’s several layers. Her stylist spared no expenses, it seems. Though who can blame him, she’s gorgeous. And every inch a winner with her red hair braided into a crown around her head.
“How long is it this alliance has lived now?” asks the interviewer.
“We met 27 years ago, the year after Cat’s game. And we have been married for almost 24 of those” Ned says. “In a few weeks our 24th wedding anniversary would have been.”
The games had been the beginning of their time together and the games would be the end.
The interviewer sighs, but smiles.
“Don’t we all remember the news of Catelyn Tully from District 4 marrying Ned Stark from District 9?”
“I certainly remember it” Catelyn says.
It draws a laugh from both the interviewer and the audience.
Ned remembers it as clear as if it had been the previous day. She was so beautiful. She’s always beautiful, but it seems that day was special.
“We’ve never seen you in a game together before, but considering how long you’ve stuck together for I imagine you’re quite the team.”
“I suppose that’ll be our strength in the arena” Ned says.
They’ve never fought together before, but if they could manage five children between the ages of a few months and eleven years while also being mentors then they could do the hunger games. In the end it would lead to the end of at least one of them, but they could survive for a while.
“Though we’re not the only ones with close ties to other tributes” he adds.
He glances at where the victors that have already been interviewed stand. From 1 all the way up to 9, his own. There’s Cat and her uncle, as well as the Lannister twins. While they’re all friends, or at least aquatinted with each other, not all of them have family ties. He knows every face standing there. Most he watched win, he’s among the older ones. Donella, Brynden and Robert are the exceptions.
“No lovers from different districts there, this love is unique” the interviewer insists.
As sweet as it is to think of Cat as his lover it makes them sound like as young as when they met. As if he isn’t almost 50.
“I don’t think it is, I think it’s very normal.”
Apart from what they went through in their youth, apart from all the games they mentored it was normal. Years ago they agreed to make it that way so that’s what it has been. When she came to 9 with Robb they decided that they wanted him to not live with their fears, that he would have a very ordinary life. In hindsight it was easy to see that they were foolish to think that would happen, but it feels good to know they tried.
“Just like any young girl I laid my eyes on a cute boy and ended up falling in love” Cat says, and there’s something very soft in her expression then. “And now I have a husband that’s upset with me every morning because I steal all the blankets in my sleep. This despite that he throws them off himself because he’s too warm.”
It doesn’t seem to matter how many blankets they keep in the bed, they always end up with her while he gets none.
“The life of a victor isn’t as glamorous as they want you to think” he says dryly.
That earns him a laugh. He hates their laughter, it sounds strange. It sounds as fake as everything else about them.
“Of course it’s a tragedy to all of us that these years must come to an end now.”
Ned wants to say something. He knows Catelyn feels the same, her hand is squeezing his very tightly. Though they can’t do a thing, can’t say a thing. Because the consequences are not theirs to bear, it will fall on their children. Every punishment will be inflicted upon them.
“We had 27 years together. They were 27 good years” Catelyn says in a low voice. “It could have been worse.”
It isn’t true, several of those years were far from good. It has been so very dark at times that it feels like a wonder that they’re still alive. Even with the kids. Ever since the games it’s been a long tunnel. Sometimes there’s a window that lets in some sunlight, then the darkness returns.
A single tear runs down her cheek. Perfectly executed.
“I only worry for our children. Our youngest is only twelve, not nearly old enough to be on his own.”
#2023 snippets#nedcat hunger games au#i guess this is a spoiler but yeah the way i planned it they were both reaped#so now you know!
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Sometimes I wonder if the actors knew how offensive some of the stuff they said/did on the show was. I mean I know it was their characters but still.
There was a lot of biphobia from Kurt, Blaine, Santana and even Brittany. There was the line Blaine said in the script read in 5x20 where he said "I'm gay and you're mostly lesbian" to Brittany!!!
Also the Britney 2.0 episode was super offensive and basically just spent 40 minutes mocking someone's mental health which is a huge problem and something a lot of people struggle with.
I know it's not the actors decision but do you think they knew how offensive some of this stuff was.
Also the whole IKAG episode was pretty bad and when Brittany and Sam got together and she said something about "lesbian bloggers" I have to see that as a dig about the Brittana fans!
I know that Naya, Heather and Darren were straight so it may just be that they are uneducated on these things.
I appreciate things like Kevin talking about the Lights Out mess in the Q&A episode of the podcast, but it’s ultimately not the cast’s responsibility. Am I curious what they thought of certain things, sure. Am I desperate for someone to cover IKAG with a critical eye, very. But I think fans already put way too much on actors and expect them to represent characters and their stories way beyond the constraints of the media itself, and that doesn’t feel fair. I’m general on the side of protecting actors’ privacy and right to do their job and not owe anyone anything more.
With things like Britney 2.0 especially I feel like we shouldn’t expect anything from the actors. Sure I like it when they’re self-aware and Jenna and Kevin are at times critical of the show in their podcast (old and new) but this is a typical example of, like, what are we expecting of them? It has been a decade now but particularly when the show was on, I’m sure it would have felt like biting the feeding hand to call out the biphobia or something. If I were an actor on a major network show and given Problematic material I wouldn’t be happy about it but man, it’s my job to say it. And we’ve heard how volatile things sometimes were on the set despite the general alleged good working relationship. I don’t blame people for not wanting to risk RM’s wrath with a public condemning.
I don’t know if they even stopped to consider this kind of stuff. With something like Artie’s offensive lines, Kevin clearly has. And again I’d kill to know how everyone truly felt about IKAG. I don’t know, maybe they knew. I’m sure there were certain things on Glee that raised eyebrows even then. Kevin, Jenna and Harry talk a lot about things not aging well in the Throwdown episode of the Showmance pod. But again, at the time no one was gonna risk a job. I don’t think anything was that egregious on Glee, it’s more like things adding up. But I mean for sure things like mocking Britney Spears and the consistent biphobia were cringe at best and cruel at worst. So no one get me wrong, the biphobia and the SA stuff and all these poorly handled, poorly framed things were bad, it just wasn’t SO bad that it would absolutely warrant an actor having to apologize for it.
Going back to actors’ privacy and all, I don’t like to a) assume their identities and b) make assumptions based on those assumptions. It especially feels strange to say they might have been uneducated just because they wouldn’t have those first-hand experiences e.g. with queer issues. A leap too big for me. And this is a can of worms of its own, but I think we shouldn’t assume with Naya in particular - in terms of identity, that is. There was that View interview that some take as her confirming she was bi; me, I don’t know and I don’t think we need to know. We never will know. Was Naya Rivera straight, was she queer? I say let the dead rest. Either way she was clearly a fierce ally who fought for that lesbian storyline to exist in the first place so whether she personally considered e.g. the biphobic things they had her say messed up or not, that’s really not for me to know or judge. I don’t really feel comfortable shifting that responsibility onto actors, which I understand is not what you’re doing but it’s dancing too close to that edge for me. Even if Darren, Naya and Heather were all Super Woke™ even back then it’s not like they could have done much to fight the biphobic lines. Actors have some say in these discussions, sure, but no one wants to push their luck.
Heather in particular has said some things in the past, iirc during season 4′s run especially that pissed people off but even still I don’t think being a little tone deaf or not living up to fan entitlement should warrant that much criticism. For other things too, I think she gets too much shit because people expect her to be this Representative when she’s just a person. They’re all just people. They’re actors and they get paid to say the words as they’re written. There’s some creative freedom with that but it’s up to the director/producer’s discretion. So again, maybe they were aware of how messed up the more iffy things were, maybe not. My bottom line on questions like these is that it’s not our business and not their responsibility.
#anon#i hope this doesn't come across harsh or anything#we can ponder of course i just have my lines when it comes to discussions around the cast#glee asks#glee cast
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The Time Malcolm Asked Her To - 2
5 Times T'Pol Kept a Secret and 1 Time She Didn't
Lieutenant Reed groaned as he sat down next to T’Pol and Trip in the mess hall. “I think I’m a bloody idiot,” he confessed. “I’ve messed up.” He set his tray down and shook his head. His head was spinning and his stomach was churning. “Hoshi’s going to kill me.”
“Is there a particular reason?” T’Pol asked, forking a small cherry tomato into her mouth. Trip was still chewing whatever he had eaten before he started digging into his pecan pie. Did that man ever eat anything other than pie? It was only ever dessert or something meaty. He wondered how Trip’s eating habits would mesh with T’Pol’s, considering she was a vegetarian who preferred meals with purpose and straight sustenance.
“I might have accidentally said when we get married rather than if,” he said. Malcolm pushed his fingers into his hair. He closed his eyes. “We’ve been together for six months now. It’s horribly rushed, I know, but I’ve never been so sure about anyone. And I know she’s not one for a quick hitch! She says she loves me and she’s never felt this way about another man, but I don’t know… All I can say is I’ve mucked it up rather badly.”
Tucker stopped chewing and waved his fork around as he spoke. “I mean, you’ve been datin’ longer than T’Pol and I were before we got engaged. We went from nothin’ to fiancés in no time flat. In fact, we didn’t date.”
“I only made the logical decision,” his fiancée said once her food was down. Watching her eat was like watching a princess in one of those century-old movies. “Are you objecting?”
“No,” he said, not laid-back but not curt, either. He cut into his pie. “I’m just sayin’ skippin’ the entire courtship isn’t how it’s usually done. If Malcolm and Hoshi wanna get married, too, that’s fine. In fact, if they want to, they should.”
“I haven’t asked her yet,” Reed protested. “I haven’t even asked who’s going to do it. I think she’d prefer if I did it —”
Trip jumped in with, “She absolutely would.”
“— But I don’t want to jump into something she isn’t ready for, either.”
“Lieutenant, you have known Hoshi Sato much longer than most in your position,” T’Pol reassured. “Living and working with someone for such an extended period would eventually provide you with all the necessary information one would need to make such a decision. Getting to know Commander Tucker through life-or-death situations has shown me his character and his reaction to stressful circumstances, thus allowing me to ascertain how to diffuse major arguments.”
Reed bit back a comment about how they always fought, but then remembered the day a single blink from T’Pol had silenced Trip immediately. She was also twenty times smarter than he was, so she probably knew what she was talking about.
“That’s probably why you’re thinkin’ about marrying her so soon,” Tucker supplied, snapping his fingers. “You know her pretty well. She likes you. You like her.” He put another bite of pie in his mouth. “T’Pol, you sure you don’t wanna try this?”
“I have no desire to, but thank you for the offer.”
“I love her,” Reed said. He sat back. “But don’t tell anyone that I’ve been thinking about it. Proposing to her, I mean. I wouldn’t want her to worry.”
Trip smirked. He chuckled and swallowed his pie again. “Are you asking us to swear to secrecy, Lieutenant?”
Malcolm nodded after a moment of silence. “Yes, please,” he said. “I can’t let Hoshi know yet. It’ll be a while before I propose, if at all.”
“The human desire to keep things as a surprise is baffling,” T’Pol said, taking another bite of her food. “I fear I will never understand it. However, I will keep it a secret until you say otherwise.”
“C’mon T’Pol,” Trip laughed. “It’s fun. Who doesn’t like surprises? Especially when it’s a good one? There’s nothin’ better than thinkin’ your day is great as it is, and then someone who loves you decides to drop a fun little question or give you a gift… It’s fantastic.”
“Despite my love and affection for you, Trip, I will never agree.”
Malcolm nearly choked on his own spit. He had never heard the Sub-Commander call Tucker by his nickname, let alone his surname without his rank accompanying it. Maybe there really was more going on than he had ever noticed.
The Chief Engineer’s ears turned pink. He shook his head and tried to hide his smile. “Whoa, missy! No need to get so gushy.”
She flicked her eyes to her partner. “I am perfectly solid, I assure you.”
Trip only laughed more.
Reed wet his lips and leaned closer over his untouched food. How did they manage to get to a proposal? They made it look so easy! It was quite disgusting, honestly, despite T’Pol being a Vulcan who apparently couldn’t feel her emotions. “What should I do?” he asked. “You two are the only ones I know who are engaged.”
“You’re asking the wrong couple, Malcolm. I don’t think this is traditional for either of us.” Tucker set his fork down as he finished his pie, pushing his plate away from him. He sat up in his seat and faced Malcolm fully. “I mean, look: there ain’t nothing regular about a human and a Vulcan being friends. It’s even rarer for them to be in our position, isn’t it?” He turned to T’Pol for confirmation.
“That is correct. I looked through the databases — there are very few cases of humans and Vulcans marrying. There are exactly four recorded examples since the first contact between our species. There are no recorded cases of Vulcan-human hybrids.”
The Commander did a double-take. “None? Is it impossible?”
“Theoretically, no, but the odds are against us.”
“Who proposed?” Malcolm asked, changing the subject. He was grasping at straws here. He had to know how to make his job easier. That, and he didn’t want to hold Trip as he mourned the children he might never have.
Trip pointed with his thumb. “She popped the question. I wasn’t courageous enough to ask her to be my bride without kissin’ her first.”
“Well, I suppose that makes more sense…”
“Must the question only come from one of you?” T’Pol leaned in, now twice as curious as she had been.
Tucker got on it. “It’s an Earth thing, specifically Western culture. It’s really important to ask the question and then celebrate the acceptance of it since it only happens once in a lifetime.” He paused, furrowing his brow. “Er, it’s supposed to.”
“That is statistically untrue,” T’Pol said. “But the sentiment is appreciated. I am confident we will manage a lifetime relationship.”
Malcolm nodded along. “We’re both certain things will fold out that way, too. She wants to be married. Her and her strawberry cake…”
“That’s awesome, Malcolm,” Trip told him earnestly. He looked back at T’Pol. “But yeah, basically, the whole idea is to promise loyalty and devotion your whole life long until one of you dies.”
She blinked slowly. “I believe most values concerning marriage are relatively the same. I simply find the concept of the question being more important than the marriage illogical.”
“Most people don’t enter into relationships knowing if they want to marry each other, T’Pol,” Trip said to her. “Ninety-nine percent of the time, it’s not planned out.”
“How unwise.”
“I suppose one could blame our emotions.” Reed picked at his food. His tummy was still quite unhappy with him. “What if she says no?”
“Then she had no business being with you.”
“T’Pol.”
Malcolm shrugged though, taking in what his friends were saying. “I think I’ll do it,” he decided. “Then perhaps we could plan our weddings together?”
Trip suddenly perked up. He set his fingertips on T’Pol’s, who then gingerly removed them after a moment. Reed had never seen them touch before. “Hey! What if we had a double wedding?”
He felt a little bit better. “That doesn’t sound too bad,” he admitted. “It could be quite fun, save for the fact we would have to invite a few more people than I thought before.”
T’Pol looked at Tucker. “You wish to extend our engagement, Commander?”
“C’mon, honey, it’s killing two birds with one stone! We can make it happen. Think about it — it’ll give you time to research a human ceremony and then we could have a Vulcan ceremony too!”
“I would prefer a human ceremony. If Ensign Sato desires it once Lieutenant Reed proposes, we can do as you both please.”
“Then propose to her A, S, A, P, Malcolm!” Trip hissed, looking like a little kid who had too much candy. He kept looking over T’Pol and then back at Reed as if the situation would come faster if he had willed it to be so.
“Deliver your proposition with the proper preparation,” she contradicted him. “Allow her to consider the idea without fully ‘popping the question.’”
Malcolm took a solid twenty seconds to consider everything his friends had just told him. He rubbed his neck. “That is good advice.” He pursed his lips. “If it was running artillery, I’d understand it much more.”
“Or pick a peck of pickled peppers,” Trip said, rolling his eyes. “If you think it’ll work, give it a shot.”
“Give what a shot?” Hoshi asked, suddenly appearing behind Malcolm. He jumped a mile into the air, but she was smiling kindly. She had her hair in her usual ponytail and her tray of food in her hands; she was perfectly average and yet still so angelic. She moved to sit between him and T’Pol.
“Oh! Hello, darling,” he said, clearing his throat. His Adam’s apple bobbed. “How are you doing?”
“Fine,” she replied. She arched her brow at him. “I was just coming to sit by you. What are you guys talking about?”
T’Pol opened her mouth to explain, but both Reed and Trip stared at her pleadingly. She closed it before gently saying, “We were discussing what type of matrimonial ceremony Commander Tucker and I will have. We have decided on a human ceremony.”
“Oh! That’s great!” she beamed. Hoshi started cutting into her food. “Do you have a maid of honor picked out, yet?”
“Not quite,” she answered truthfully. Malcolm could have sworn she was giving him a look of pure disappointment as she added, “It will all depend on how things unfold.”
#star trek enterprise#trip x t'pol#trip tucker#t'pol#hoshi sato x malcolm reed#malcolm reed x hoshi sato#hoshi sato#malcolm reed#gaitwae writes
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The Great Produce 48 Rewatch: Ep 4, Mamma Mia (Kara) Challenge
Welcome back to the Great Produce48 Rewatch Recap Project of 2023-2024! I have run into difficulties, in that the original site I was watching it on went down for a day or two, but I fought back with the help of a different site that still houses the P48 episodes, just with Spanish subtitles. My Spanish is pretty good so it’s not that big a deal, plus I have google translate on my side when I need it (which is surprisingly not that often -- thanks, Spanish department of my high school!). And YOU CAN’T STOP ME from doing this. No one wants or needs me to do it, and yet, I must. So, I continue. Also, when I was almost done with this particular post, the original website came back! What a journey. Let’s go on that journey together, my dear ones!
In the previous post, Jo Yuri and friends performed Short Hair by AOA. It’s time for the Mamma Mia teams to perform! Check it out.
Lee Seungki calls the two teams up to perform the song, noting that the choreography was done by Dance Bae herself back in the day. Backstage, the girls say that they are really looking forward to this performance.
The teams come up -- Team 1 in black, and Team 2 in white.
Murase Sae, Nakanishi Chiyori, Park Minji, Park Jieun, Kim Hyunah
Miyazaki Miho, Cho Sarang, Bibian, Choi Soeun, Shinozaki Ayana, Shin Suhyun
Team 1 introduces themselves as “The Eyeshadows” (in English) --and add, first in Korean and then in Japanese, “We’ll paint your hearts lots of different colors!” -- and Team 2 introduces themselves as “OMG, what are we going to do?” Like, that’s their name. I have a lot to say about team 2’s outfits, but we’ll get there.
Seungki asks Park Minji how she’s feeling, considering that she did this once before in a previous season. She answers that she thought she’d feel less nervous, but if anything, she might be even more anxious! But, she adds, they’ve worked really hard so that they can do their best.
Seungki asks each team to give a statement. Chiyori says her team will never lose! Souen says that her team really wants to win! Hwighting!
Seungki says it’s Showtime! But it is not Showtime! It is… FLASHBACK TIME!
The members:
Kim Hyunah, age 23, who I call husky voiced Hyunah, from B class, ranked a sad 72. 😣
Murase Sae, 21, who auditioned with Funny People, rose from D to C and is currently ranked 43.
Nakanishi Chiyori, 23, Wacky Chiyori, who auditioned with What's Your Name?, rose from D to C, and is ranked 37.
Park Jieun, 20, future ex-Purple Kiss, who fell from C to F and was ranked 70th.
Park Minji, age 19, PD101 trainee and future Secret Number member, from B class, ranked 56.
When we left off, we were learning that Wacky Chiyori is the master of hilarious facial expressions, but that plotline has been abandoned for this next segment. It’s also helpful to recall that Hyunah is the center.
Minji, left; Hyunah, central, and I’m not sure who is to the right since we never see their faces. That’s ok, they’re apparently not important to the story and get 0 camera time.
We start off with a few of the girls in one of those tiny practice rooms, working on their singing together. Park Minji interviews, “this year, I want to be recognized for my singing ability and show everybody what I have to offer.”
We cut to the girls rehearsing with Soyou. She’s having them sing while they dance, which honestly is a good sign -- I’m sure she starts off just listening to them sing, and if they did terribly at that I don’t think she’d ask them to dance at the same time.
She’s making this face.
I dare you to determine, based on her facial expression, what she thinks of them.
Turns out she has nothing but praise for Kim Hyunah, who is my favorite for a reason, and that reason is that she’s great. Soyou even praises her dancing.
Minji (far right) is ready for her critique.
But to Minji, Soyou says, “I’ve told you before, but you shouldn’t sing this all “pretty.” We get a flashback that we’ve never seen before. The MNET editors go pretty ham with this scene, adding in a lovely sepia tone to things so we know that this is a flashback.
In it, Soyou is telling Minji, “You have a lovely voice, but you have to focus in on it alone. You keep trying to look pretty while you sing, and you focus a lot on your mouth.”
Back in… the main timeline, I guess I’ll call it…. she has Minji try again, but interrupts her almost immediately. “Not like that. Don’t drag the sound. Just sing like this:” -- and she demonstrates. Minji imitates her and it sounds great. Soyou nods, adding, “The sound has to grow gradually stronger.” I like seeing this really specific voice work, because the change that Soyou was making to Minji’s voice was really subtle and specific and good.
Minji
Then she has all of the girls sing the high “la pa padi” part, and though they’re all a bit pitchy without accompaniment, they’re basically hitting the notes, and more comfortably than Minji.
Minji interviews that her voice is her best attribute, and even so, she hasn’t been able to establish herself as a main vocalist. She thinks her anxiety is getting the best of her because she doesn’t want to get eliminated again.
Time passes and it’s their dress rehearsal. Minji sounds awful. Just awful. She’s obviously been over rehearsing and she blew out her voice. It’s much worse than Jang Gyuri’s from Peekaboo.
The trainers are just like…
Jeremy asks what’s wrong, but not in a way that seems to demand an answer. Soyou is like, but you’re the main vocalist, if you sound bad you make the whole team sound bad. Minji says that she originally a part in falsetto, and had been trying to sing it full voice, and that was the problem. She asks if it’s ok to change it now. She tries again, but falters, about to cry. Chiyori and the other girls try to comfort her.
Why does Chiyori’s top fit so weird on her? She’s a cute girl -- stylist unnie, wtf?
Jeremy kindly acknowledges the pressure that vocalists face, but it isn’t just that -- Minji is still thinking about getting eliminated last time and how she doesn’t want it to happen again now. It’s so sad how scarred she seems to be from her first elimination. She talks about it for a while in an interview but it comes down to that it sucked to be eliminated before, and she is terrified it will happen again. I think it’s really interfering with her mental health. Poor girl. This show is such a mess.
Backstage, she’s starting to cry again.
LTRL Sae, Jieun, Minji, Hyunah, Chiyori
Hyunah says, “It’s ok, don’t cry. Don’t feel so pressured.”
Minji says, “I feel like it will be really bad if I don't do well.”
Jieun, bless her heart, says “It’s ok if you don’t do well, too. Who cares?”
Minji voice overs, “I want to cry tears of joy when we win. I want to hear people say that al our efforts weren’t in vain.”
And now, it really is performance time! The judges are ready…
I love this shot of the trainer’s room. They’re just in some corner with some big wooden blocks and a few bottles of water. They at least have moderately comfortable looking chairs, but they have to hold their clipboards in their laps. Jeremy is just using his phone to take notes. IDK, the whole thing is so budget. It cracks me up.
As the lights go down, you hear a few shouts from the audience, encouraging Minji and Chiyori by name.
Unfortunately, there are no blessed edits of either group this time, so we’ll just have to make do with the MNET edit and try not to die. Or you could just watch Kim Hyunah’s fancam -- she’s the center, and for whatever reason the camera isn’t as focused on her face as fancams sometimes are, so it’s almost like a full cam.
My thoughts:
It wasn’t terrible or anything, but the vocals weren’t great. When all five of them are singing in the chorus it’s ok, but each of them has kind of thing vocals and when they sing once at a time, it doesn’t sound great overall.
Minji pulls off the high notes -- of course MNET has to drag it out and all that, sigh -- but it doesn’t sound particularly lovely. She also continues to do that thing where she uses her whole body to hit a note.
She sort of sticks out her neck and thickens her throat and just basically does everything in her power to look awkward and hurt her throat. I know that Soyou and Jeremy are doing what they can to help teach the girls how to sing properly, but my god does she need more lessons. I hope that by now, 5 or 6 years later, she has.
Everyone else is a mixed bag. I think Hyunah is an alto, and her part was a little too high for her so she had a hard time. You can actually hear a bit of Park Jieun’s talent leading into the bridge -- you can understand how she would have been in Purple Kiss -- but her voice sounds pretty hoarse in a lot of the song. Slippery elm tea, you dum-dums! Sigh. And as much as I love Chiyori’s personality, neither she nor Sae has a voice that I would like to listen to.
LTR: Minji, Hyunah, Jieun, Chiyori, Sae
Dancewise, it’s the same problem as ever - the camera work hides everything. From what I can see, they look good -- they’re throwing themselves into it and they look pretty synchronized. It’s fun to watch them overall.
Stage presence is also pretty good overall. Sae is good at a smoldering look -- a wink, a lip bite, that kind of thing -- and Chiyori just looks happy to be on stage. Jieun looks down at the ground a lot, and Minji telegraphs every note she sings, neither of which is ideal.
I really don’t know which of these five I would have voted for, but it would have been one of Hyunah or Minji, I think. Hyunah does a great job as center, but her vocals were a little off. Minji looked great when she wasn’t singing, and did a decent job singing, but she was also a little lacking.
I can’t quite give her a vote because of her not-great vocals, but I will say that Sae came into her own in this performance. She’s much more suited to this sexy concept than she was to the silly “Funny People” performance she did as her audition.
LTR: Sae, Jieun, Hyunah, Chiyori, Minji
The MNET edit is nearly intolerable, as per ujh. They make a big deal out of Sae’s wink. If I went on a show like this, I’d wink constantly. I’d basically never stop. It would be hard to see but it would be worth it.
When we come to Minji’s high notes, they do a flashback and a few annoying instant replays, and then they make a big deal out of her doing an ok job. The judges praise the group as a whole, and everyone freaks out about Sae biting her lip sexily in the ending fairy. Ok, I revise my previous statement. I’d alternate between winking and lip biting. It would be hard to see and my lips would hurt, but it would be worth it. Add in the headache I’d get from all the hair tossing and I’d basically be incapacitated, but I’d win the voters’ hearts!
Backstage, the girls hug each other and tell each other that they did a good job. Minji voices over that she’s gotten her confidence back about singing. Well, that’s nice.
Team 2
Team 2 comes up to the stage, accompanied by intense orchestral music. Suhyun voice overs that they worked hard, and she doesn’t want this to be her last stage. Let’s remember who the members of this team are:
Cho Sarang, 14, who sang Tomorrow at the audition, fell from B to F (ouch!) and is currently ranked 90th (ouch again!). She has an eye patch on for some of the rehearsals.
Choi Soeun, 16, who did Question Mark at the audition, fell from B to C and is currently ranked 92 (oh no!)
Miyazaki Miho, 24, our multilingual queen, who has stayed in D and is currently ranked 16th place
Murakawa Bibian, 18 but looks like a baby doll, firmly stationed in F class and ranked 31st
Shin Suhyun, 22, the show’s favorite punching bag, who fell from D to F and is ranked 57th
Shinozaki Ayana, 22, one of the What's Your Name? group, with the beauty mark under her lip, firmly stationed in F class and ranked 87th
When we left off, we had found out that this team did not want to do this song at all, since they didn’t know it. Also, there’s a bit of a rivalry between Miho on this team and Chiyori on the other team, since they’re old friends from AKB48. Bibian was the chooser of this group, Miho is the leader, and Seoun is the center. Sarang is the main vocal and seems to be doing great at it in rehearsals.
We cut to their dance rehearsal. They are anxious and awkward at the start, not sure if Dance Bae wants to see their nametags or wants them to get into formation. They run through their performance, with Dance Bae occasionally shouting at them to change formation. It seems that Seoun is not in the right spot. When they’re done, Dance Bae tells them, “This is beyond belief. You’d get zero votes. I have nothing to say.” But don’t worry, fam, she has plenty to say.
She asks who the leader is, despite it being obvious that Miho is wearing the L sticker.
LTR: Punching bag Suhyun, Boss-babe Miho, and Center Seoun
Dance Bae asks Miho what they were even doing with their time. It looks like they haven’t practiced at all, and they’re going to be humiliated on stage if they keep going like this. Suhyun wipes away a tear quietly. She voice overs, “Our group practiced together, but…” and we head into a flashback-within-a-flashback. Suhyun is asking the team to wait, to confirm certain parts of the choreo for her, to start over, but it seems like everyone just wants to keep going. Suhyun is worried that they won’t get any of the details down that way, but Miho is worried they won’t learn the routine as a whole if they’re worried about details.
Oh no! Miho is worried!
We’ve seen this issue come up before, and I don’t know enough about dancing to really know what’s the right approach. Getting the details right from the start prevents you from establishing bad habits. Working on the routine as a whole allows you to have the big picture so you can keep refining from there. I read a few articles on the topic and it does seem like the general consensus is big picture first, details later, but maybe there’s room for disagreement on this. It can make for some serious discord in a group, though.
Since their styles are so different, they stopped rehearsing together as much and started rehearsing on their own. Some of them notice the other group rehearsing all together and look on with sad jealousy.
It seems like they’re all worried that rehearsing the way they are will make it hard for them to beat the other team, but none of them seem to be doing anything about it.
Finally, they have a meeting in one of those tiny practice rooms.
Miho has written down her thoughts. She tells her team, in Japanese from what I can hear, that she thinks that if they keep going this way, they could end up losing. They’re all charismatic and talented on their own, but no one seems confident or energetic. And, she says, if they lose to Team 1, it’ll be all over. That’s not true, of course, but whatever. She wants them to come together as a team.
Cho Sarang says, “I don’t think we knew that we all felt like that until now. But the thing is, you three already debuted in Japan and have fans waiting for you. But for us, if we’re eliminated, we have nowhere to go.”
Miho says, “But we risked everything to come to Korea. We also don’t really have anywhere to go if we get eliminated.”
They’re all kind of crying now.
Suhyun says, “It’s like Sarang said -- I also have nowhere to go back to.”
They’re all realizing that they are all desperate to win the challenge, and that powers up their teamwork! It’s time for a montage -- suddenly, they can do it! Yeah! Miho voice-overs that her team hopes that all their hard work will come across to the National Producers and win their hearts.
It’s time for the performance! Dance Bae says, “I really hope they do well.”
The performance (MNET Edit link)
It is at this point that I discovered that the original site, kshow123, is back up! And I am proud to report that my understanding of the subtitles in Spanish was spot on. Also, I might keep that Spanish website around because they have better resolution, so it might help me take better screenshots. Ok! Back to the recap.
My thoughts:
Ok, first off, I have to talk about their outfits. They’re obviously based on a particular set of outfits that Kara actually wore while performing:
But this wasn’t really that cute a look even on Kara.
I mean, if you look really closely you can tell that it is some kind of fishnet shorts under their white shorts, but it just gives “control top pantyhose” to me. Also, I caught little Sarang pulling her shorts down a little during the performance. Just.. not great outfits overall. If one group is wearing white and one group is wearing black, the team in black tends to win. I wonder if that’s always true? I’ll have to do some research sometime. Black is slimming and makes skin look paler, which is the Korean standard, and white is the opposite.
That said, let’s talk about the performance.
The biggest problem I have with this performance is the vocals. Shin Suhyun actually does kind of ok as sub-vocal 1, but most of the other vocals sound kind of nasal or shrieky or off key. Even main vocal Sarang doesn’t do that well - the key high notes are edited as if they’re great…
Everyone reacting to something, possibly Sarang’s high notes. By the way, we see Wonyoung, Na Goeun, and Ahn Yujin constantly the whole episode, reacting to everyone else’s performance.
… but she’s definitely flat. Even when she’s on key it doesn’t sound too great because her voice sounds so child-like. That’s fine if you’re singing Baby Shark, but not if you’re singing “Look at nobody but me with that passionate gaze” and “With that skill of yours, lock me up tonight.” Vocally, I think the very worst was Miho, which is such a bummer because she’s such a fun human being. She just… isn’t a very good singer. Sorry, Miho! You still seem really cool!
Dance wise, I think they do fine…? IDK. Thanks, camera man! Thameraman. Some of the moves look really awkward but that might just be the choreo.
Stage presence was a bit better. Choi Soeun does a great job as center, actually.
I think her very low ranking is just because no one knows who the heck she is. Sarang and Vivian look comically out of place to me -- I think they’d both do much better in cute concepts.
Shin Suhyun tries to look sexy but she just kind of looks….
… sleepy? Confused? … it’s not working.
Overall, just kind of amateur.
It’s hard to even say which was better between the two teams since neither was particular great. Sorry, girls! I know you all worked hard. I think this song is just kind of hard to pull off.
The MNET edit tries to make it seem like it was better than it was, but I don’t think the judges were that into it. Dance Bae says to the others, “The thing is, though, they did get a lot better.” That might be the translation, so I checked the Spanish version, which essentially the same. I really get the feeling that Dance Bae was letting the others know that even though this wasn’t great, it was better than it used to be.
Backstage, Choi Soeun says, “I was really worried because we were going up on stage without ever hearing a single word of praise. But I’m thankful now because everyone did so well.”
Shin Suhyun says, “I wish we could’ve done better, but it was really fun. Now I can see why people want to keep performing.” Now you see? You never saw before? Sigh.
It’s time for… the results!
Park Minji from team one is already crying. Girl! I mean, I would be too. I would cry from the second I arrived until about a month after I’d been eliminated.
The voting results are:
Black team (win)
Kim Hyun Ah 138
Murase Sae 138
Nakanishi Chiyori 48
Park Jieun 32
Park Minji 66
Average: 84.4
White team (lose)
Cho Sarang 18
Choi Soeun 56
Miyazaki Miho 92
Murakawa Bibian 86
Shin Suhyun 88
Shinozaki Ayana 28
Average: 61.3
Neither Sae nor Hyunah can quite believe how many votes they got.
But I’m actually not surprised at all that Kim Hyunah and Murase Sae got so many votes. Both seemed perfectly suited for the song, in both look and attitude. I am a bit surprised about Miho’s 92 votes -- you guys, her vocals were really bad -- but she must have fans as a well-established member of AKB48. Poor Sarang got one of the worst vote tallies of the night, poor kid. This was just the wrong song for her.
Then they have to wait for their averages to pop up on screen, which is so funny to me.
Like, Sarang still seems optimistic that they’ll win, I think? But come on, the math is pretty obvious. Black team’s sum is higher even though they have fewer members. It seems clear that they won, and they did.
When the win is revealed, Minji just begins absolutely wailing.
The girls on the white team applaud lightly, and don’t seem to cry, but Minji is crying so hard her whole team has to try to calm her down. She’s crying with relief, of course, but it really shows how deep her emotional trauma is.
They really should have therapists on hand on this show, you know? Either that, or maybe try traumatizing them a little less. IDK.
We don’t really get a reaction from the white team. Guess they just disappeared from this plane of existence.
And with that, we’re at the end of this post! In the next one, we’ll cover the High Tension teams -- and see a girl named Huh Yunjin! See you then.
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I’m not sure why I’ve decided to post this but fuck it ig
As much as I would LOVEEEEE to absolutely spill my aching situation that would be a plethora of things what I will say is that i think I say “I think” cause I’m not sure but I have a VERY strong feeling that I’m in love w a girl ((Ikk so interesting never heard before-)) but she has a boyfriend who I have met before and he’s nice and is very sweet to her but I have this gut feeling ((and I’m the only one who thinks this)) that their relationship is gonna break but I still think I’m a bit biased to this it’s hard to explain I’ve never felt this way about anyone in a VERY VERYYYY long time and the last time I felt that way abt someone our relationship lasted for 4 years and in every other relationship that I have had (not feeling that same sorta spark) have all been the most miserable things I’ve ever experienced again this feeling is hard to explain ((I’ll probably make a whole poem/rant abt the feeling cuz I’ve explained it to someone before)) but it sucks seeing and hearing all the things about her bf like again very nice guy I honestly have no reason to be so annoyed w him I’m just jealous ig mainly cause I’ve liked this girl for 3 years now in every relationship I’ve been in since I’ve met her near the end of them I always tend to think about her but things have always got in the way of us being together like either she gets in a relationship or I get in one then we’ve fought w each other before and now she has a bf I’m not sure if she even sees me as an option like yes I’ve told her about my feelings but she said she wasn’t ready for a committed relationship and she just kinda wanted to fuck around and yet still gets w someone and Ik this all points to an obvious answer but we’ve had our moments where ((idk how to explain it)) it could be considered intimate or couple like BUT SHE DOESNT DO THIS WITH ANYONE ELSE AND MY FRIEND WHO CLOSER W HER KEEPS TELLING ME SHIT LIKE “ HEY YOU NEVER KNOW” OR JUST GIVES ME A CHEESY ASS SMILE AND IT DOESNT HELP it kills me not knowing what my friend is talking about but me and the girl have had SUCH a history I’m not sure what to think anymore
Thank you for listening to my nonsense love life rant I’ll probably do make another post tonight who knows
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A remake of the original Spider-Man and Moon Girl interaction I made. Which I posted before this. But this time with a recommendation from a friend of mine that I should’ve put Casey in this. Along with other little edits. I question if I’ll use this again. The original copied text is from a draft from July 10th, 2023. Unedited and raw.
“So, you know what’s the one question that is really on my mind? Why doesn’t Devil have feathers?” Spider-Man asked what was on his mind when looking at the T-Rex below them. Who also looked confused when hearing that.
“I mean...dinosaurs are more related to birds, right? Unless there was some genuine truth in those Jurassic Park films? Or maybe he’s a different from of T-Rex and considering with what we’ve been learning about the species...why am I even asking this?” Spider-Man rambled on.
“You know what? You actually have a good point.” Moon Girl laughed after she said that. She never considered it till now. And as she laughed, Casey joined in the laughter as well. They soon stopped to catch their breath as Devil rested on the ground after a long day of helping Moon Girl. As the three set there, with Spider-Man in the middle of them as they sat on the ledge. They just looked over the L.E.S. as the sun was going down.
“And...something popped in my mind...you’re 13?” Spider-Man asked as he looked towards Moon Girl.
“Yep!” Moon Girl proudly exclaimed.
“Yep! Me as well.” Casey said as well. But after that, there was a few seconds of silence before another question was asked.
“Do you two...go to the same school together?” Spider-Man asked them.
The two looked at him and wondered if they should answer him.
“I mean...I’m not disclosing that.” Casey responded.
“You know, that’s the second time you asked us. Why do you seem concerned about our age?” Moon Girl asked him.
“Because...you’re so young. Listen, I’m not trying to sound overbearing. But it just really boggles my mind thinking about it. You're a superhero at such a young age, you’re not an adult yet. You have fought supervillains and your friend is here runs a social media account for you. Isn’t that stressful? But also, all that responsibility for someone so young?” Spider-Man asked them.
“You act like we can’t handle it. Me, D and Casey have been stopping villains without other heroes for a while now. Do you think we can’t take care of ourselves? Because trust me, we can.” Moon Girl responded back to him.
“I’m not talking about it like that. It’s the fact that...you’re still a kid. You have your whole life ahead of you. You’re...putting yourself in these situations and...it bothers me thinking about it.” Spider-Man answered back.
“Man, you’re sounding like if you were my parents.” Moon Girl said.
“Do...do they know you’re a superhero?” He asked her.
“They...don’t know. Wait, why do you care? You’re Spider-Man. You don’t have to worry about that. Besides, didn’t you call Iron Man “Shell Head” one time on live television because you didn’t want to work with him or the Avengers. So why are you getting on my case about it?” Moon Girl responded back.
She sounded bothered by a hero she liked seemed to be treating her like a child. Casey wondered what to say next. But was hesitant after what Lunella had said. As that was going on, Spider-Man just looked at Moon Girl who looked at him with an annoyed expression. After that, Lunella just looked away to the sunset.
“You seem perfect. You have everything under control. You don’t know nothing about me...and I’d thought you would be more supportive of what we’ve been doing.” Moon Girl said.
Casey looked at her friend with a saddened look. She still wondered what she should say next. And then she noticed Spider-Man looking at the sunset as well. There was silence for a good 20 seconds. Spider-Man took a deep breath, it was a big one.
“I’ve been Spider-Man since I was 14 years old.” Spider-Man said.
This reveal got the attention of the two girls. Lunella’s goggles emotions widened as he finally spoke. She was stunned to hear those words, and even Casey too.
“What?” Moon Girl asked.
“I’ve been doing this since I was a kid...a year older than where you are now. I assume you were three...I was bitten randomly by some spider at a demonstration. I got powers but...” He paused. It sounded like he didn’t want to say more. But then he continued on.
“Instead of helping people. I used my powers to make some money. I was on television star, did some wrestling. I wonder if those old showings of me can still be watched. But yeah...I was being selfish...if you knew how I was years back. I think you two openly hate me. Hell, I would hate me too.” Spider-Man started to put his hands together as the girls kept staring at him, intrigued by what he was talking about.
“Then one day, some thief ran by me. I let him go...I let him run by me. He escaped and the officer chasing him got angry at me. And one of the things I told him is that it’s not my problem.” He kept holding his hands together. But now they were tighter. Casey noticed this the grip his hands had on each other were really strong. If she was correct, he seemed angry...angry at himself.
“Not my problem...not my problem I said. I...said that.” The tone Spider-Man spoke in felt more...sad. He breathed again. “Then one day, I learned that same guy I let go.” He stopped again and took another breath. It seemed like he didn’t want to talk about it more. Even under that mask, there was this emotion Casey could sense. While Lunella was surprised to hear all of this. And she needed to know what came next.
He took a deep breath again. “The same guy killed someone close to me...all because I didn’t do anything...when I could’ve.” Spider-Man finally let it out.
Lunella and Casey’s jaws dropped when they heard the answer. They both had the same form of shock when hearing it. Even though both might’ve had different feelings when hearing the answer.
“Oh my gosh.” Casey said as she put her right hand over her mouth.
Spider-Man put his right hand over his eyes as he began to slouch. Lunella's face turned sour as she learned this information. She was stunned to hear this information from Spider-Man of all people. And what both girls heard sounded like sniffing. Almost as if he started to cry. He continued breathing, and his breath skipped a beat.
Lunella didn't know what to do. What could she do? But then she noticed Casey reaching out to comfort him with her right hand on Spider-Man’s left shoulder. When Spider-Man felt that, he took his right hand off of his eyes to look at Casey.
“You don’t need to do that.”
“Well...I want to do that.” Casey told him as she was rubbing his shoulder. He had no response to that. After looking at Casey for a few seconds, he looked back at the sunset and continued speaking.
“I didn’t want to tell you that. I’d...rather not trauma dump on a bunch of a kids. Because that isn’t right. But...” He took another deep breath. “I've done things I'm not proud of. I regret things I've done. And trying to be Spider-Man can be...hard at times. It was hard in school, college...even daily normal stuff. I get tired...I get angry a lot. I...sometimes hate being Spider-Man that I want to quit...but I don't. And the worse thing I think about...is...did I have to suffer to be a better person? Would I be the person I am today if I stopped that guy? Or would I be the same jerk that was?”
He took a deep breath again. “I just wanted to tell you this because I may have been in the same spot as you two but...without all that harder stuff. And I've learned recently that...I don't have to be alone in this. I've sacrificed so much, pushing people away. Being scared to lose someone again.” He then put both of his hands back on the ledges. Spider-Man then started to speak again.
“I'm sorry...I'm not a father or a brother. I'm a grown man. But seeing you kids made me really think about what I've been through. It...made me examine how tough it was for me growing up and the choice I made. And I...don't want anyone going through the same mistakes as me. Because being Spider-Man is...scary. I've been Spider-Man for 10 years and only recently some years ago. I feel like I've moved on from that guilt because I'm lucky to have some people know who I am. That I'm not alone.”
They could still hear the sniffling under his mask. Lunella kept staring as she was heartbroken hearing all of that. And Casey again, said something back to him.
“Hey, it’s okay. Let it out.”
“You became a superhero because you wanted to help the L.E.S. because no one else would? Is that correct?” Spider-Man looked towards Moon Girl.
“Yeah...that’s correct.” Lunella answered him.
“Well, you’re already a better person than who I was years back. At least you didn’t need a wakeup call.” Spider-Man said.
“Hey...it’s okay. You’ve done so much good. You don’t need to say that.” Casey told him.
“I know...I know.” Hearing that warmed his heart, but his thought process still continued on, thinking about what he had just told Moon Girl. “But it still hurts...you two and Devil are all lucky to have each other.”
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A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”
“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”
“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”
“I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”
___
...But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.
“It was going to sting me anyway,” muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. “It was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.”
___
...But no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” said the frog.
“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”
They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.
“After the kindness I showed you!” said the frog. “And you threatened to kill me in return?”
“Kindness?” said the scorpion. “To only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpion’s sting.”
___
...“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”
“You have a point,” the frog acknowledged. “But once we get to dry land, couldn’t you sting me then without repercussion?”
“All I want is to cross the river safely,” said the scorpion. “Once I’m on the other side I would gladly let you be.”
“But I would have to trust you on that,” said the frog. “While you’re pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land I’d be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.”
“But by the same logic, I can’t possibly withdraw my stinger while we’re still over water,” the scorpion protested.
The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. “So, I suppose we’re at an impasse.”
The river rushed around them. The scorpion’s stinger twitched against the frog’s unbroken skin. “I suppose so,” the scorpion said.
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Absolutely not!” said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.
___
A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.
They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.
___
...Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell.
The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpion’s sting, was offended at the scorpion’s ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” sneered the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back.”
The scorpion pleaded earnestly. “Do you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!”
“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Even a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!”
But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.
“I knew it,” snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. “A scorpion cannot change its nature.”
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.
“I’ve only myself to blame,” sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. “You, you’re a scorpion, I couldn’t have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now I’ve doomed us both!”
“You couldn’t help it,” said the scorpion mildly. “It’s your nature.”
___
...“Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”
“Alas, I was of two natures,” said the scorpion. “One said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.” It smiled wistfully. “Ah, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldn’t it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.”
___
“By the way,” said the frog, as they swam, “I’ve been meaning to ask: What’s on the other side of the river?”
“It’s the journey,” said the scorpion. “Not the destination.”
___
...“What’s on the other side of anything?” said the scorpion. “A new beginning.”
___
...”Another scorpion to mate with,” said the scorpion. “And more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.”
___
...”Nothing we will live to see, I fear,” said the scorpion. “Already the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?”
___
“I love you,” said the scorpion.
The frog glanced upward. “Do you?”
“Absolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. You’re a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isn’t that love? Isn’t that trust? Isn’t that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?”
The frog swam on, the both of them silent.
___
“I’m so tired,” murmured the frog eventually. “How much further to the other side? I don’t know how long we’ve been swimming. I’ve been treading water. And it’s getting so very dark.”
“Shh,” the scorpion said. “Don’t be afraid.”
The frog’s legs kicked out weakly. “How long has it been? We’re lost. We’re lost! We’re doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. There’s nothing on the other side, don’t you see!”
“Shh, shh,” said the scorpion. “My venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.”
“You - You’ve killed us both,” said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously. “Is this - is this what it’s like to drown?”
“We’ve killed each other,” said the scorpion soothingly. “My venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?”
“What a foolish thing to do,” murmured the frog. “No logic. No logic to it at all.”
“We couldn’t help it,” whispered the scorpion. “It’s our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - It’s all our fault! We are both blameless. We’re together now, darling. It couldn’t have happened any other way.”
___
“It’s funny,” said the frog. “I can’t say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But I’m doing this for you regardless. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?”
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”
“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”
“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Come aboard, then!” But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frog’s back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the river’s bank.
The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. “Ah,” it muttered. “For some reason I never considered this possibility.”
“Because you were never scared of me,” the scorpion whispered in its ear. “You were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?” The scorpion bowed its head and drank. “How could anyone kill you without killing themselves?”
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if you love somebody, let them go | PART ONE | matt murdock x fem!reader
MASTERLIST | PART TWO | PART THREE
warnings: heavy angst; infinity war & blip occurs; cursing; marriage; death; overall panic; vomiting from food poisoning; matt needs a hug :(
pairings: matt murdock x fem!reader
word count: 1,927
summary: matthew was eager to propose soon. but now he might never be able to.
a/n: i am so so excited to get started on this collab with @mobiusismyfav ; who came up with this idea! pls go check out their writing, it’s amazing. anyways we’ll keep you posted on when the second part comes out. thank you for reading and i hope you like it!
In truth, Matthew Murdock had never been one for theatrics. Which was pretty ironic, considering that the man would patrol the city in a bright scarlet devil costume to fight crime. But behind the mask, he savored a more peaceful life. One that he actually hadn’t imagined in the past, until he met you. Beautiful, kind, amazing you; who he’d cuddle in bed with every night; who’d remember his favorite foods when he was stressed and would listen respectfully to the feelings he thought he’d never share. With a line of work so dangerous, hope was an unfortunately sparse element. Luckily for him though, you were the epitome of hope. Most people couldn’t handle a relationship with him, the sleepless nights with him absent and his self-destructive habits becoming too painful to witness. And there you were, empathetic and understanding towards him. After every difficult battle, you’d be there to pull him back together. Matt was more accustomed to taking care of others (especially without receiving gratitude), and for once he got to be doted on. You’d tend to his wounds with a soft-hearted touch that felt wonderfully strange after receiving the opposite from his opponents. You would never let him delve too deeply into his work, taking him places and talking with him in order to remind him that he was allowed to live. You’d kiss him like every time it would be the last. Despite being a simple man, Matthew adored every nuance, trait, and flaw that you had. You could do something as minuscule as snoring and he’d adore it. Negative or positive, he’d merely be delighted at the fact that together; they made you. With feelings so lovingly complicated, an incomplex proposal felt wrong.
“Hey, Foggy.” Matt felt a little peeved at the interruption. He had fought fiercely for these reservations for months now at your favorite restaurant, all together with a perfect table that had a view of the Hudson. Although he couldn’t see it, he loved how awestruck you’d sound at the sight itself.
“Please tell me you proposed. If you keep that ring in your pocket for one more day I swear to god, I’m going to beat you up.”
A hearty chuckle rose in his chest, “Are you sure you want to fight me, Foggy?”
“Don’t underestimate my wrath, Matthew. Especially concerning this situation. I bet 100 dollars that you’d propose tonight, and the last thing I want is for Karen to be 100 dollars richer! I’ll be a peasant in her eyes, a mere plebian! And to top off all the suffering, my two great friends won’t even be engaged yet,” he groaned dejectedly.
“Foggy - you’re the one who interrupted me. We were having a lovely conversation about getting a dog until you called. Not sure if we’ll be able to take care of one since we’ve already got you.”
“Har har. Real funny Matt. I’ll leave you to Y/N then, but if I don’t get a call from her sobbing with absolute tears of joy, you’re done for.” Before his best friend could hang up, a muffled sound caught his attention.
“Yes, Karen said she’ll beat you up as well. You’re outnumbered, Murdock! Now get back out there!” Although the slight hitch Foggy had caused was a bit inconvenient; Matt would be lying if he said his friend's assurances didn’t help. For the past week or so, the vigilante had been engulfed in a constant state of nerves. No, it wasn’t because several of the gangs he had been fighting started working together, or that he had a particularly difficult case to work on. Somehow, the mere thought of proposing to the woman he loved managed to break Matthew Murdock. With a deep inhale, Matt swiftly left the hallway to join you.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, Foggy’s just threatening to murder me again. The usual.”
Your adorable snort was followed by a snicker, “You better watch out Matt. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“Honestly; I’m so terrified. You’ll have to protect me tonight, okay?”
“Of course, but don’t hold it against me if I run away. Not even I can endure the rage of Foggy,” you joked with false dramatic effect.
The two of you continued to laugh through the night, your conversation eventually leading to a case of his, how work was going for you, and suddenly circling back to the topic of getting a dog.
“Matt, I don’t see the problem with a chihuahua.”
“Are you insane? It’ll tear us apart. I say we go with a medium dog. From the shelter, of course. Those little guys have been through a lot, and I think combined we have a lot of love to give,” he grinned. His heart skipped a beat once he felt your hand softly cup his.
“Matt Murdock. You truly are the sweetest man. I think a dog from the shelter would be perfect,” his cheeks heated up at your affections, gradually increasing in temperature as he felt you peck his knuckles.
For too long Matt had waited for the right time. He had given up several times already in the past few months. This proposal was quite possibly the most important thing to him at that moment, and the thought of messing it up frightened him to no end. Matt was going to make sure that this proposal would show just how much he loved you. After dinner, you’d walk through Central Park. He’d bring deserts and a couple of glasses of wine to share on your favorite bench. And once he found the perfect time in your conversation to propose, he’d-
“Oh shit.”
“You alright honey?” He frowned.
“Matthew. This chili is tearing me apart from the inside.”
“Do you feel like throwing up?”
“No! I’m sure it’s fine, I’ll just go to the bathroom and-” It had arrived. The first thing he noticed was the sound. Your groans of pain, garbled and weak. Unfortunately, it seemed you had a stomach ache. And Matt sure as hell wasn’t going to propose while you were so sick. It pained him to do this, but your health mattered far more to him than the proposal. He could propose another time when you weren’t puking out of your mind.
“Y/N, let’s go home. I’ll get the check, okay?” He assured, walking closer to you to rub your shoulder sweetly, before handing you some napkins to clean up. Once you gathered yourself and paid, you went home.
Matthew was not looking forward to telling Foggy and Karen he hadn’t proposed. Despite it being an out-of-the-blue predicament, and entirely not his fault, they’d find a way to chastise him. He instinctively cuddled closer to you at the thought. Matt could care less about the fact you had vomited hours ago. Now you were okay, once you had gotten home safely. In mother-hen mode, Matthew cared for you just as you’d do for him. He ran you a warm bath to get you clean and made sure to prepare heaps of soft pillows and blankets for you to snuggle in. Several bottles of medicine sat on the nightstand just in case. Whilst nuzzling your neck, Matt felt a pang of relief. He was just happy you were okay. Although it wasn’t ideal on the night of his proposal, getting to hold you was more than enough to satisfy him. He adored your every sound, touch, and smell he could embrace. It was a reassuring reminder that you were real.
Matt was barely awake when he felt it. Your sleeping form had suddenly been replaced by emptiness. That was weird. But once he began to wake up more, he became horrifyingly aware of his surroundings. The typical hustle and bustle of New York City had suddenly vanished. Citizens were screaming and crying, and you were gone.
“Y/N?”
Nothing. Matthew didn’t even sense that you were there, but calling for you was all he had. He desperately tried to hold back his panic; all he had to do was find you. He just needed to know you were okay.
“Y/N!” His voice came out panicked and broken.
“Shit. Shit!” Frantically, Matt began to call Foggy. Something bad was clearly happening, and you weren’t there. Panic set in when he realized he didn’t know what to do. And pain began to stab at his heart at the very real possibility that he had lost you.
“Foggy, come on!” No answer. With haste, Matthew called Karen, his calloused hands beginning to shake. Another dead end. He had to resist throwing his phone at the wall. What happened to his friends? What happened to you, and the city? He haphazardly put on shoes and a jacket before charging out of your apartment. The sounds of terror just got louder. As he descended towards the lobby, he could make out several concerning statements.
“Where did he go?”
“Mommy? Mommy where are you?”
“She just disappeared. No, I don’t fucking know what happened! What’s going on?”
He should’ve proposed to you. Hell, he should’ve stepped knee first in vomit and slipped that ring on your finger as fast as he could. Maybe he needed to hold you tighter. Somehow despite all the love you two had shared, it wasn’t enough to stop the inevitable. It felt like a nightmare, everyone was losing someone. And Matt was unlucky enough to lose you.
Although Matthew was used to hectic days, even he had to admit that even this was too much to handle. The city was a wreck, and quite frankly, so was he. Regardless he made it his duty to tend to as many emergencies as he could. The work was stressful and frustrating, but at least it kept his mind off of you.
Clad in his red suit, he finally heard it. A semblance of hope. Once he realized his phone was buzzing, he clung to it like a lifeboat.
“Karen! What the hell is going on?”
“Matt… the Avengers, they couldn’t stop him. Half of the population is gone. I can’t find Foggy anywhere and Y/N isn’t picking up. I don’t know what to do,” it seemed Matt wasn’t the only one in a frenzy. He’d be relieved to hear her if he hadn’t been so terrified already.
“Where are you?”
“I’m at the office,” she sniffled.
Before he could even say goodbye he ran towards the building. Just a few more streets down and he wouldn’t be alone. But Matt could feel alone in a crowd of people without you there. Without regard for his safety, he nearly crashed through the window as he climbed in through the fire escape.
“Oh my god!” Karen sobbed, her heartbeat nearly going as fast as his own, frantic and torturous. When she wrapped her arms around him, it merely reminded him that this wasn’t a dream. She held him so tightly that he would’ve burst if he didn’t melt into it.
“Matt… is Y/N gone?”
“I think she is.” For the first time that horrible day, Matt finally allowed himself to fall apart. As Karen continued sobbing into his shoulder, even more so once she learned that you were gone, he began to silently weep. Matthew had spent his entire life trying to make the world a better place. He’d come home bloody and bruised if it meant doing the right thing. Meeting you on a rainy day in Central Park felt like a blessing. A gift for everything he’s sacrificed. And now without you, there’s no one to come home to.
#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock x fem!reader#matthew murdock x reader#matthew murdock x fem!reader#heavy angst#tw infinity war#matt murdock angst#daredevil#daredevil x reader#karen page#foggy nelson#my writing#daredevil angst#daredevil netflix#marvel x reader#mcu x reader#marvel#mcu#charlie cox#nelson & murdock#the blip#infinity war#avengers x reader#series#fanfiction#fanfic#marvel fanfic#tw endgame#tw death
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