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#we should all totally just go back to playing imaginary
I'm only 26 and you made me feel old. Maybe it was just me and my merry band of highschool friends but the rules are simple. You and a group of friends "fall" through a portal to the realm of your choosing. (I guess it's considered roleplay since we mostly did it through private online forums and group chats, but regardless it was still fun)
You basically write the story as yourself and your friends (almost like a script) and you pick the characters (NPCs at this point) that you're best suited to 'play' to advance the plot. For example, I would play as myself but I would also write (play) the roles of Elrond and Lindir.
And yes, those were the days, and it's probably the only thing I miss about highschool. I think there were three or four of us-- that dwindled to two when I went to college-- and then we all kind of drifted apart. I still have the chats saved and access to the forums. It's a bit freaking nostalgic.
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I’m about to freakin’ combust because THAT sounds like a friendship I wanna get in on and something all our mutuals would enjoy!!
Guys, why did we let this go out of style?? First cloaks, and now immersive campfire story-weaving? (took everything in me to not say “writing jerk-circles. validate me anyways because that is prime humour) We could’ve been travelling to Middle-earth together this whole time!
It’s literally like that one exact post I made on here!
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aberstudiostorm · a month ago
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Him - making of
The haps and mishaps of filming our final film:
Maja (writer) -  For our final film, I took the role of the screenwriter. I felt a strong sense of responsibility due to the fact that not only this was our final film, but also my idea, so I wanted to write a story that would catch the feelings of viewers and evoke powerful emotions. My initial concept has its root in the first short screenplay that I wrote at the beginning of the first year when the task was to write 3 different premises. One of them was telling a story of a boy who reflects on his memories with his beloved person and the paralyzing fear of losing them. In the first draft, I was planning to use a window shot of a boy sitting by the window as a backbone of the visual storytelling and the quick cuts of memories as the story progresses. When I came back to that idea for our final film I wanted to develop it further, adding more depth to the relationship. One of my favorite films is Her directed by Spike Zone, which received an Oscar for the best screenplay. I was amazed by the raw emotions portrayed by the main character played by Joaquin Phoenix, the sense of loneliness, longing for love, and comfort in the world ruled by advanced technology. The concept of a person falling for an AI system, destined for a tragic ending inspired me to explore a more unconventional way of showing the relationship of my characters. At that time I was reading a lot of articles about psychology and mental health problems, including schizophrenia. Thus, I came up with an idea about the character struggling with such illness and developing a guardian, a person of comfort and love as a coping mechanism. I wrote a script trying to embody the characters, their emotions, bond, and incorporate the sense of Tom’s melancholia, loneliness, anxiety but also calmness and comfort from Sol’s character. The recurring medication shots foreshadowed the issue, slowly revealing as the film progressed. Tom did a brilliant job portraying the character, his emptiness and fear of losing control, his anchor which was the soothing presence of Sol. I wasn’t able to participate in the filming process but the rest of the team ensured to create beautiful footage, as close to my vision as possible. The climax scene with the lighthouse created a powerful effect which revealed that Sol was only a project of imagination due to Tom’s illness. I was honored to find out that my script won the best script for the final films, which encouraged me to believe in my ideas more and to dive into the world of scriptwriting deeper. I am proud of my team members, Hollie, Sabine, Tom, and Sol for making my vision come true and to trust me with creating it. They did an excellent job and I hope that we will continue to make even better films in the future.
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Tom (director) - Going into the final film, I once again took the role of the director. A role I enjoy and realise and appreciate how hard it can be.  We all initially had the first problem of thinking of an idea for a film. Each week throughout the module it was easier, as we were given a theme and task, therefore knew what we were required to do. Having roam for an idea made the beginning of the creation harder, from the pressure of wanting an audience to like it and understand the narrative. The idea of the protagonist seeing someone that no one else could came quite early on during one of our meetings and we all really liked it. It then followed with the refusal of medication being the reason he sees the other person. A coping mechanism almost. When the idea was thought of, I thought of a music video I had previously seen, Twenty-One Pilots - My Blood. There was a specific shot that I remember seeing, which I immediately wanted to recreate in our own way. (See Below)
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This shot really stood out to me, it was exactly the way I thought we should reveal that man the protagonist communicates with, has been imaginary the whole time. It was powerful and unique to reveal the relationship being caused through mental illness.  Maja went on to create the script. She had put a lot of thought and emotion into the script which you could tell from the lexical choices and sentence structure. Language is extremely useful in helping portray the emotion and character development throughout the film. Her idea of what the story should be really came through. It was strong, well-written and focused.   Hollie got straight to work and created the shot-list, as director and the scene breakdown, so we all knew what we were focused on the day. On the day of shooting, we did run into some problems. Our camera did not fit on to the tripod we were using and unfortunately it was quite busy at the castle location where we were filming, therefore there was a lot of noise from other people. Fortunately, Sol managed to cover it up with several different seagull sounds, which fit the environment. In total truth, we did not keep to the lines from the script and improvised on the day, we simply became too focused on the issues which had arisen, that we ended up essentially using it as a baseline. Another problem occurred when we arrived at the lighthouse to shoot the final scene. We can across a man who was fishing and of course did not want to disturb him, so had to wait for the area to be clear, in order to get the shot, I was desperate to get. Furthermore, we did not manage get all the shots we had intended. We kept a close eye on what we had from Hollie and her well-presented storyboard/shot-list and could not have achieved what we did without Sabine’s planning and the final shot which she filmed perfectly, which was vital to the narrative structure. Within Sol’s edit he found an issue with the time allocation. Again, like week two, footage had to be removed to reduce the film to just over five minutes. We ended up with a few versions of the film and managed to get it to a point which everyone was happy with. I can not stress enough of how proud I am of everyone and what we achieved. I feel as though my skills has developed mostly with editing, directing and cinematography. Cinematography is definitely the role within film production which excited me the most, hence why lighting and specific desires for shots became more apparent by this final film.  
Sabine (producer) - For our final film of the year, I took on the role of the producer.  Considering that half of the group were coming back to Aber only after the Easter break, which gave us less than two weeks to shoot and edit, it was very important do all the pre-production work on time and have everything planned for the filming days. We had a meeting each week where we discussed any new ideas or concerns and set deadlines for when the risk assessment, script, storyboard, scene breakdown and shot list had to be done. These weekly meetings also ensured that everyone was involved and felt included, as Maja could not join us when filming because she was in Poland. On filming days, we called Maja when we needed advice or just to update her on our adventures. On filming days I also brought snacks to keep high morale (it worked!).
Before our meetings, I wrote down key points that needed to be discussed that day, as well as worked on a schedule:
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I also took on the role of the cameraman for most of the filming, while following Hollie's amazing storyboards and shot list. I think the switch between stable footage and handheld works as a good indicator of the decline in the character's well-being.  
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As for the locations, we wanted something that bridges the gap between realistic and surreal - the beach, pier and castle ruins seemed to have the perfect atmosphere for that. The same atmosphere went for the characters, the relationship of the main characters is a mix of the narrator and Tyler Durden's relationship in Fincher's Fight Club (1999) and Alan and Christopher's relationship in Tyldum's The Imitation Game (2014). A mix of an alter ego and a comforting person.
During these weeks we have grown closer as a team, this has allowed us to not be afraid to speak our mind about any changes we want made during the production and makes conflict resolution easier, because we can talk to each other as friends and not just teammates. There were disagreements during the production about the direction the story should take and later about costume design, but they were resolved calmly and with compromise. I think we all understood the importance of pre-production, planning and the finer details of filmmaking throughout this semester. It was very exciting to be able to film together and that excitement made us work even harder to achieve the best performances and shots we could. Everyone did an amazing job during all stages of production.
Hollie (cinematographer) – For the final film I took on the role of the cinematographer. For the most part I think this was quite a challenging role to take on for the final film and I felt like there were huge shoes to fill, as our group has made quite a few films that have very strong visual aesthetics!  
The idea for our final film came from Maja. She came up with a really good narrative and as a group we all thought we could build on this and use it to our advantage. Due to the storyline being really strong I knew that the visuals needed to match that. So as a group we started looking at different shots we liked. One shot that we really wanted to include in our film came from Tom.  
The shot that he wanted to include in our final film was taken from the ‘My Blood’ music video by Twenty-One Pilots between 3.10 and 3.21. When we saw this shot, we thought it would work well with our film and we knew as a group we wanted to include it. To include this shot it was suggested that we could use it for the final scene. As shown in the shot list.  
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Another aspect of my role was to create the storyboards. However, my artistic skills aren’t too great and so I needed to come up with a plan to make the storyboards. And so that is when I decided to make the storyboards in PowerPoint. To do this I went online, and I found various cartoons which I thought could work well as backgrounds and/or characters for my storyboards. Then with all of my artistic skills I created a PowerPoint version of a storyboard. Below is an example of what they looked like! (not my best work, but definitely not my worst)  
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Overall, I think the film turned out well, and I believe we got some stunning shots whilst filming. I don’t think we would’ve been able to get a lot of these shots if it weren’t for Sabine’s planning and scheduling of our film. Whilst working on the edit Solomon had to cut some scenes out as we simply did not have enough time to include everything. But overall, I think he did a great job.
Solomon (editor) - At the conclusion of this module, I took on the role that both me and my group saw as my strength: Editing. Taking on the leading role in post-production, with the assistance of the director, I created a final cut of the film from the footage we had filmed prior (of which I had also acted in). This enabled a few days after shooting for the film to be correctly cut together and tell the overall story visually, and through audio that I refined and added in afterwards. One difficulty that I faced was the sound editing, when regarding the conditions that we filmed in. In the end scene, there was a large amount of wind and noise disturbing the dialogue that made the cut look untidy and hard to hear. Therefore, I instead took the initiative in Post-production to dub the voices of the actors over the film, especially the final scene by the lighthouse, to get a cleaner and more effective cut. Furthermore, there was more trouble I had in editing regarding background noise. In the scenes on the park bench there was a lot of interference with public noise as it was a busy day. This is resulted in all the shots in this scene being eroded by the noise of people in the background. Some shots were also ruined by children coming in to shot directly behind the shooting. To resolve this, I used both the technique of cutting between different shots to cut out unwanted or spoiled parts and used the stock sound of seagulls to drown out some of the background noise, also combining this with a De-Noise effect on Premiere Pro.  Considering the difficulties I faced further, I also found it challenging to re-create the plot to the precision depicted in the script or initial vision due to the improvised way that we filmed it. When it came to the shooting of the film, we found that the tripod was functioning as it should and so had to film most of the film hand-held, which resulted in a large amount of improvisation with new shot types and therefore new aspects to the script. Since we had to film handheld, this resulted in me having to use stabilizer effects on Premiere Pro in post-production. After much experimentation with this, the film’s overall look resulted on me deciding to use the stabilizers on some shots, yet also leave the natural shaky look on other shots where the stabilizers did not necessarily work. I personally think that the editing stages of the film were successful and bought the film to life, despite the factors regarding environment that interfered. I think that the editing also enhanced the performance of the acting as I was able to cut and change about the stages of the film to make the plot flow and the acting become enhanced further with the use of multiple shots spliced into one, and the overlay of external stock sounds that I believe bring the film an atmosphere that would not be as effective without. Overall, I think that this contributed to the end result of the film and is what made our final film a success. 
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aurorasillusion · a month ago
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100 SFW Prompts
Mix of scenarios and dialogue.
¤ Insert your own prompt. (0) {requests open}
¤ Person A an normal person, falling in love with Person B, a rookie idol, being totally awkward during a fan event. (1)
¤ “I’d say you are what you eat but we all know you don’t get any pussy.” (2)
¤ Person A and B meeting because they’re neighbours. Person A sings really loudly in the shower late at night and Person B comes to complain because they have really thin walls (3)
¤ “We can’t do this.” (4)
¤ Person A spending all their money on Person B who scolds them for it. (5)
¤ “Nobody knows you the way that I know you” (6)
¤ Person A: “I love You” Person B: *Shoving laundry basket into Person A hands* “stop saying I love you to get out of chores.” (7)
¤ “You’re telling me we accidentally got married?” (8)
¤ Person A trying to mooch off of Person B wifi and jokingly putting their own name in as the password, then being shocked that it actually works and they’re now connected to Person B’s wifi… (9)
¤ Person A: *Walks in wearing a hazmat suit*
Person B: “What the fuck?”
Person A: “My good looks are contagious and I didn’t want to pass it on”
Person B: ~ Why have I been in love with this clown for four months~ (10)
¤ Person b and person a being brought together by their mutual love for a third party, only to slowly develop feelings for each other over time. (11)
¤ Person A lends their sweater to Person B. When Person B is home, they realize they still have Person A’s sweater and find Person A’s iPod. Out of curiosity, Person B looks through Person A’s music and finds a playlist titled with their (person B’s) name. (12)
¤ Person A is dating person B, whilst A is having relations with B’s sibling person C. “Walking out the door, B looks behind to wink at C an unspoken promise for later.” (13)
¤ Person A has a whirlwind holiday romance with Person B. 3 years later Person A is living life back at home with the catch of a 2 yr old. Person b has been searching, waiting for A to show back up in their life again. Having fallen in love at first sight and never fell back out.  (14)
¤ “You know, there was a time that I would have died for you” (15)
¤ “Maybe I just have a really bad taste in men.” (16)
¤ “All I ever wanted was you.” (17)
¤ Person A is a secret agent like top notch kinda James bond vibe. They’re sent to infiltrate the Mafia. Person B is the head of the mafia. They fall in love after meeting, a set up purposely made by person A and their team. Person A then goes rogue. (18)
¤ “Don’t worry, I’ve been arrested before. I’ll get us out of this” (19)
¤ “You can learn about my tragic backstory later, right now we need to move.” (20)
¤ “You got into a bar fight?” (21)
¤ Where if your soulmate is listening to music it’ll be stuck in your head till they stop listening to it. Person A is going through their emo phase, and Person B is into bubblegum pop. (22)
¤ Person A has been Person B’s imaginary friend for what seems like forever. Then Person A leaves and Person B accepts the fact they weren’t real, until years later when Person A shows up in Person B’s house, much older and much hotter than they remember. (supernatural creature au) (23)
¤ Person A and Person B as little kids. Person A falls off the monkey bars and ends up crying. Person B sees this and tries to cheer them up by generously offering them some (Insert snack). They become quick life long friends. (24)
¤ Person A gets addicted to painting nails and forces Person B to let their nails get painted on. Bonus, nail stickers are next. (25)
¤ Person A and Person B owning a flower store together. (26)
¤ Person A and Person B sleeping together. Person A wakes up first and contemplates waking Person B with a kiss. Person A leans in only to hesitate centimeters away out of embarrassment. Person B opens their eyes and says, “Well if you won’t do it, I will.” (27)
¤ Person A is trying to impress Person B and ends up falling flat on their face. (28)
¤ Person A is the barista at a coffee shop and always screws up Person B’s name on purpose. And by screws up I mean giving them endless nicknames instead of using their actual name, much to the annoyance of person B. (29)
¤ Person A follows Person B out for a smoke break during work, but Person A doesn’t actually smoke. They attempt to smoke a cigarette to impress Person B, but they immediately start coughing uncontrollably and embarrass themselves. (30)
¤ Person A finding a prompt generator and putting up their name together with Person B’s name and reacting to the prompts they get. (31)
¤ “Look at you. Now look at me.” (32)
¤ “No Thanks, I’m Okay.” (33)
¤ “Ask me to be nice and I’ll do it extra mean.” (34)
¤ “Dry your eyes mate.” (35)
¤ In order to fulfill their goals, Person A must betray their best friend, Person B. (36)
¤ Person A says they’ll teach Person B to dance but when Person B shows up to the agreed upon spot, they’re thrown for a loop due to the presence of pole dancing poles. (37)
¤ Person A absolutely loves the taste of the lip balm Person B uses, so they keep stealing kisses from Person B. (38)
¤ Person A sings extremely well but has a lot of difficulty playing musical instruments and Person B can play their musical instrument very well but their singing voice is terrible. Match made in heaven? (39)
¤ Person A likes stealing Person B’s phone to change Person B’s phone wallpaper into something stupid. Person A is doing another routine swipe of Person B’s phone, but doesn’t have the heart to change it because this time because Person B’s phone wallpaper is a cute picture of the two of them. 5 times + 1 AU (40)
¤ “Everything I do, I do it for you!” (41)
¤ “After this is over, feel free to lose my number.” (42)
¤ “I’m try comforting myself by saying it’s alright but I’m not okay and it's not alright.” (43)
¤ “oh so I’m the bad guy?” (44)
¤ Person A makes a New Year’s Resolution but Person B makes it difficult for them to keep it. (45)
¤ Person B forgetting everything but Person A after an accident… but not remembering they broke up some time ago. (46) N/A!!!!!
¤ Person A “imagine getting paid for being cute”
Person B “you’d be rich”
Person A “I…uhm…” *blushes* (47)
¤ Person A and Person B getting dressed but person B however is feeling a bit playful and decides to hold a piece of person a’s clothing hostage so person A has to try and get it back. (48)
¤ Person A helping Person B dry and brush their hair after a shower. The Person B falls asleep in Person A’s lap. Person A holds Person B close and doesn’t move from their spot for hours. (49)
¤ Person A and Person B finger painting with their child after taking the day off to spend with them. (50)
¤ Person A, and Person B are friends who swap bodies. The catch is Person A is in a relationship with Person C, the same Person, Person B is secretly in love with. (51)
¤ Person A breaking into Person B’s room through their window. (52)
¤ “I never asked to be the object of your desires, of your affection.” (53)
¤ “You wanna fight? we having a fight?” (54)
¤ Person A or/and B is reincarnated. (55)
¤ Person A and Person B reading mean tweets/comments about themselves and laughing it off. (56)
¤ Person A getting down on one knee and proposing to Person B, because they realised they both forgot to bring money and have no way to pay for their meal. (57)
¤ “Live and let die.” (58)
¤ Person A: “What am I supposed to do while you’re gone?”
Person B: …“ What do you usually do when I’m gone”
Person A: Wait for you to come back. (59)
¤ Person A is kidnapped by Person B but Person A isnt exactly the most distressed hostage there is. (60)
¤ “I would die for you, my love." (61)
¤ "You always meant the world to me. I’m sorry I let you forget that.” (62)
¤ “Be careful (name) is on a warpath” (63)
¤ Person B trying to find their shirt around all the clutter of clothes taken off from the night before. Only Person A is wearing Person B’s shirt. Cue a flustered Person B (64)
¤ “Do you wanna feel how it feels?” (66)
¤ “Do you want me crawling back to you?” (66)
¤ “Do me a favour and stop asking questions.” (65)
¤ Person A gets the hiccups, causing Person B to laugh every time they try to talk until Person B gets the hiccups too. (68)
¤ Person B is trying to seduce Person A without realizing that, Person A is already trying to seduce them.  (69)
¤ Person A and Person B are neighbours. Person A’s cat gives birth to kittens….. (70)
¤ Person A and Person B cooking together after a stressful day. (71)
¤ “It’s the beginning of the end.” (72)
¤ “Love is a lie.” (73)
¤ “The last fuck off might be too kind.” (74)
¤ Person A and Person B are social media mutuals (i.e Twitter, youtube, tmblr etc…) (75)
¤ Person A is a method actor and Person B is a (insert job occupation.) (76)
¤ Person A has a hearing impairment, upon realising Person B takes it upon themselves to learn sign language. (77)
¤ (Name) going through the forced process of turning from human to a supernatural creature (78)
¤ “I don’t know how we keep ending up in each other’s beds…” (79)
¤ “You lied to me…” (80)
¤ “You couldn’t even pay me to say something nice about them.” (81)
¤ Person A and Person B owning a bakery together. (82)
¤ Coupled up Parents Person A + Person B and single Parent Person C. (83)
¤ “You’re my guilty pleasure, can’t escape never” (84)
¤ “The way I’m reacting, you’re actually enjoying this. Thinking these guys are better than me.” (85)
¤ “I’m yours, your mine.” (86)
¤ Person B holding Person A very close, close enough to smell their hair. They whisper into Person A’s ear: “I don’t like your new shampoo.” (87)
¤ Person A: *does something weird or stupid*
Person B: “Why do I love you so much.” (88)
¤ Person B is and artist of some kind and Person A is their muse. (89)
¤ (Name) is a supernatural/mythical creature/person. (90)
¤ Person B could have sworn they saw Person A die. So why is Person B seeing Person A right here right now standing infront of them. (91)
¤ “I should have never trusted you.” (92)
¤ Person b: “what is the one thing I told you not to do”
person a: “burn the house down”
person b: “and what did you do”
person a: “made you dinner”
person b: *silence*
person a: *silence*
person b: *silence*
person a: “and burnt the house down” (93)
¤ “cashier number 4 please” (94)
¤ Person A: *punches person b in the stomach*
Person B: *winded*
Person A: “You’ll never get past my level” *(95)
¤ “Alright calm down🙄.” (96)
¤ “Come near me again and watch” (97)
¤ Person B recently has been spending lots of money on Person A. Person A is suspicious as to where all Person B’s money has suddenly come from. (98)
¤ “You’re an absolute fucking joke.” (99)
¤ “I won’t cry for yesterday.” (100)
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vancityfire13 · a month ago
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Reflection and Deep Breaths
Natasha Romanoff x Reader + Avengers x Reader
Total Word Count: 5K
A/N - This story is part of a series called When The Deal Goes Down. You should probably read those first. Or don’t, be a rebel. This part contains bad puns, medicine balls and some jump scares.
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Part 1 - Clones and Horses
As the next week passed, you entered into a new routine with Natasha. There was a freedom and an ease that came with being able to be more yourselves in open spaces. The weekdays began to bleed together as your own schedule gained some consistency. There had been no more missions for Natasha either and you revelled in the peaceful magic of becoming each other’s shadows. Little things made your day, every day. You could see the same was true for Natasha. 
Natasha’s new hobby was undoubtedly reading, you gave her another book after she finished your copy of Jane Eyre. Ever since, and at the most unexpected moments, the book would appear. 
During an extended Shield meeting, Natasha had huffed a sigh, propped her feet insolently on the boardroom table and started flicking calmly through the first few pages. Maria’s lengthy speech on the necessity of preparedness had faded resignedly at the sight of her. Natasha had ignored the pointed stares of the rest of the room, even Bruce clearing his throat, letting their roll over her like waves on rocks. 
The meeting had eventually picked up again, Steve soldiering on with the agenda for another hour. It was only through the private smile she shared with you that Natasha acknowledged her surroundings.
The next night, when Steve’s documentary on the history of the fax machine became impossibly more boring, Natasha had reached for the book again. She’d opened it, only a few pages in, and returned to her settled position on your lap. She turned pointedly away from the screen, leaning even more against you as she quietly thumbed the pages of the book. Your hand stroked her hair patiently, her head laying heavier against your chest as the documentary dragged on.
Then, there’d been the moments that you held most affection for. Sometimes, in that sweet lull after sex, Natasha would take out the thick paperback from the drawer in her side table and start to peruse it leisurely, hair mussed out on the pillows. A finger would trail lazily up and down your naked chest, only leaving to occasionally turn the page. You tried to pretend like you weren’t watching Natasha reading, but every once in a while, her eyes would slide over to you and a delicate smirk would light up her face.
You knew Natasha was making a point of savouring the book and her reading of it. You liked to think it was because you had given it to her. There had been something very gentle in her surprised expression when she’d promptly returned your copy of Jane Eyre and you’d immediately handed her another. You’d had the book ready, letting your mind wander during workouts as to what she might enjoy reading about. It wasn’t a book you’d already owned, Jarvis had arranged the shipping. You weren’t sure if Natasha had figured that out, but you wouldn’t be surprised.
A thoughtful, pleased expression would resurface sometimes as she carefully placed the book nearby whenever you settled somewhere for the evening. You let yourself believe that Natasha was trying to carry around a piece of you. You never took a pressed penny out of your pocket, so you were able to relate.
For all the times that you saw Natasha interestedly reading the book, she clearly wasn’t picking it up when you weren’t around. It had taken her three evenings of your best faked nonchalance before she finally came across your first scribbled note. It was next to a small black and white illustration of the main character at a horse race. Next to one tiny figure of a horse, you’d scrawled.
‘Smells better than Clint.’
Natasha’s lips twitched immediately, repressing a laugh or a grin you weren’t sure. Her eyes sparkled as she found your anticipatory gaze already on her and you felt satisfied with your silliness.
You also felt relieved, you’d grown increasingly unsure of that joke over the past few days. You had expected some discomfort from Natasha, now that Clint’s absence from the Compound had turned from a few days into almost a full week. No-one seemed to know when Clint was going to return, and you watched Natasha surreptitiously, trying to spot some underlying tension about it.
You’d already felt the subtle shifts in how she interacted with the other Avengers. Sometimes when you were with her, you felt Natasha hiding slightly behind increasingly bold gestures of intimacy in front of the others. You went along with them without question, but you could tell she was feeling increasingly exposed.
Natasha said nothing explicit about Clint, or the lack of him. She only moved to train separately from the rest of you, taking a midday shift in the gym that you didn’t have the luxury of choosing. 
You’d spotted her taking her phone down to the gym too, and had a feeling that she was using the isolation to give Clint a confidential call. You tried not to fixate on why she needed the privacy, labelling it firmly as another spy quirk Or, maybe Clint really did have his imaginary girlfriend.
Steve was still overseeing your fitness development and he’d recently taken your inability to meet Avenger’s standards in record time as his own personal failing. It wasn’t the most flattering assessment to receive, but Steve’s attitude did nothing to help either. He grew increasingly kind to you while you worked in the gym. You suspected that he now saw you as a remedial student needing extra care. Regardless, Steve took every opportunity in the gym to double down on his encouragement of you.
Yesterday, your tolerance had worn thin and you’d made a sound like a strangled scream when he’d reiterated extremely patiently how your posture when skipping (skipping) needed adjusting. 
Today, Steve had promised something new, but you were still feeling skeptical. You sourly decided that the best you could hope for was a shot on the rock climbing wall, usually only utilised by Clint or Natasha. 
You made the most of your free morning with Natasha, wishing to delay the impending gym session. Natasha had woken typically earlier than you, but for once had chosen not to leave the bed immediately. You’d come to consciousness with her hand playing absentmindedly with your hair. You had also surfaced back to awareness with a direct eye line on her breasts.
Natasha’s focus was on her phone, likely texting Clint with the rapidity of her one handed typing and half smiles at the responses. You alerted her to your presence by moving intently forward. Warmly kissing her breasts you allowed them to corrupt your vision fully. It set the tone nicely for the day.
Now, you stood together at the counter making breakfast, both of you imitating Pepper’s choice of avocado smash on toast. Jarvis hummed out some upbeat guitar music into the quiet room. Along with Pepper’s calm keyboard typing, it made for a peaceful ambience just waiting to be disturbed. You nudged Natasha’s shoulder with your own as you both waited on the toaster. 
‘Hey, Natasha.’ You murmured conspiratorially, already fighting against your own grin. ‘What’s green and goes smash?’
You started to crush the avocado with your fork, laughing under your breath at your own joke. Natasha pressed her lips tightly together, but you could see a silent shake in her shoulders. Casually brushing a piece of her hair back behind her ear, you winked as you licked the fork clean. Natasha lost it with a peal of laughter that sent a pleasant shiver down you.
‘Ah excellent, our daily dose of Natasha’s clone doing a bad imitation of the original.’ Tony said drily upon entering the kitchen area, hand dancing along Pepper’s shoulder on the way past to the coffee machine.
This was expected. Every morning, Tony made at least one new comment about the pair of you. You weren’t helping your chances with some of your recent behaviour, but his originality (particularly with Pepper’s moderating presence) was still remarkable.
You put your hands on Natasha’s hips, pulling them near flush against yours.
‘An offensive accusation has been made against you.’ You told her gravely. ‘You’re going to have to show me your belly button to disprove it.’
Natasha’s answering look told you that the only thing offensive was your own joke.
‘I’m serious.’ You insisted, guiding her hips so they swayed against you a little. ‘We could have a genuine case for libel against him.’ 
‘Actually, then it would be slander.’ Natasha informed you with a teasing smile, using her thumb and finger to play idly with the hem of your top.
‘Right, right.’ You agreed easily. You let your own hands slip down to rest on the curve of her ass.
‘So, we should get you somewhere, without any peeping toms.’ You glanced pointedly over in Tony’s direction, a cup of coffee now in his hand. ‘And I can help you evidence your case.’ You trailed a finger across her tank top, drawing a line across her front just below her navel. You glanced back up and caught her eyes as they darkened in response.
‘So, the two things that I have learned this morning.’ Tony announced loudly, breaking the moment entirely. ‘First, I have woken up in purgatory. Second, purgatory consists of you two enacting weird setups for pornos.’ He looked down at his coffee in mock disappointment. ‘It explains why this crap has lost its effect.’
‘Oh please.’ Pepper muttered from her seat at the counter, not looking thrilled at having her attention redirected from her laptop.
 ‘Tony, you just need to get more than four hours of sleep for once in your life.’ Then, Pepper looked directly over at you. ‘And you both need to get a room. I mean, seriously, it’s 9 in the morning.’
You nodded a little shamefacedly but Natasha looked unrepentant.
‘Tony.’ She called, eyebrow lifting mischievously. ‘Your girlfriend’s getting jealous.’
You caught her energy and felt braver too.
‘Tony’ You echoed. ‘Are you saying that you watch a lot of lesbian porn?’
‘Okay!’ Pepper exclaimed suddenly and with finality, moving to close her laptop and leave the kitchen space. Tony hurriedly intercepted her path to the exit. He looked at Natasha and you.
‘Out.’ He declared, pointing at the door. ‘Take your green mush and go.’
You could sense that you wore matching smirks as you both angled your way around the counter and left the room. One of your hands held Natasha’s and the other held your piece of toast. In the elevator, Natasha ran her finger slowly along the side of her mouth as she finished her slice.
You tried very hard to think about the elevator floor.
‘I should probably head straight down to the gym.’ You realised glumly. ‘I think today is another morning of Captain America’s Fitness Challenge for the Inept.’
‘Oh.’ Natasha purred a little. ‘That’s not fair. I bet it’s not so bad.’
You shook your head stubbornly, letting yourself be childish.
‘He’s too motivating.’ You whined. ‘Great job (Y/N). Keep it up (Y/N), Looking good (Y/N). It’s ridiculous.’
Natasha indulged you and your exaggerated impression of Steve. She shook her head in mock pity though her eyes still twinkled. She lingered in the elevator even when the doors opened onto her floor.
‘You know, the other day I missed the punching bag entirely and nearly hit myself in the face. And Steve still told me he liked my attitude.’ You confessed, pouting slightly, growing self conscious as the story fell out of your mouth.
Natasha bit her lip and smiled at you.
‘Don’t worry, that’s cute.’
‘Yeah, thanks for that, Black Widow.’ You huffed, covering your face with your hands and feeling the heat of your cheeks.
‘I’ll see you later?’ You called out as she backed out of the elevator. 
‘Not if I see you first.’ Natasha winked at you and you could see her tongue between her teeth in her teasing smile.
When the elevator doors shut again, you felt, like always, that the sun had just walked out with her.
When you made it to the gym, it was notably empty. You’d gotten used to the absence of Clint and thus Natasha, but Steve wasn’t here either. You imagined running his morning laps of the Compound and envied his energy.
You took the unexpected opportunity and headed to the water fountain before he turned up. The last thing you needed was to have a coughing fit over some dry toast crumb caught in your throat.
You were drinking from the fountain with your back to the rest of the room, when two hands abruptly slipped onto your lower back and danced around to your waist.
‘Motherfucker.’ You exclaimed, water splashing everywhere as you jerked at the touch.
‘Language.’ Natasha chastised in a deep voice from directly behind you. Your body automatically relaxed when you registered who it was.
It tensed again when you saw the wicked expectancy in her smile.
‘What are you planning?’ You asked, half concerned and half suspicious. ‘Why are you here? This time is reserved for those of us without physical prowess.’
Natasha bit her lip, her face open with anticipation. ‘That won’t be true by the time that I’m done with you.’ She informed you smugly.
‘Oh God.’ The realisation dawned on you.
‘The penny drops.’ 
‘Steve’s not coming.’
Natasha shook her head extra slowly, mocking your shocked tone with her slight head tilt. 
‘Fury needed a big strong man on a mission.’ She told you teasingly. Exuding a cockiness that   you immediately found attractive, Natasha took your hand and led you over to one of the workout machines.
‘Come on, it’ll be fun.’
Part 2 - Heights and Hardship
So far, you were experiencing the direct antonym of ‘fun’. Two hours into Natasha’s regime and you missed Steve desperately. Natasha was unforgiving, and that was being kind.
Though nervous to have her instruction, you’d initially been more excited. Unfortunately, Natasha had taken one look at your running form on a treadmill and abruptly unplugged it. You weren’t officially considering it a murder attempt, but only because you thought all her attempts were probably successful.
Apparently, Steve’s frequent words of encouragement had been hiding a multitude of your sins, and today Natasha was righting that wrong. 
You’d asked naively if you were going to try hand to hand combat later and it was the only time Natasha had cracked a smile.
In your fantasy, Natasha’s hands touching you to adjust your posture at the punching bag would have been too hot for words. Now, you found yourself sweaty and out of breath and all Natasha did was ‘tut’ loudly at your poor execution.
Black Widow, You corrected your mind automatically, enshrining the moniker ‘Natasha’ as sacred to the woman who hummed the tune of ‘This Will Be An Everlasting Love’ every morning while brushing her teeth. This new person was more a force of nature than mere mortal. This woman didn’t believe the medicine ball was too heavy until you nearly toppled over with it.
It wasn’t just Natasha’s unexpected penchant for brutality, that jarred you, but also her perseverance with it. Steve always broke on time for lunch, you thought miserably, not even bothering to ask. 
Natasha was getting a grim but very real satisfaction from this training session. Besides, you had decided that you officially weren’t talking to her, after the sit ups fiasco. Natasha was yet to notice, as your input was not required. 
You willed the universe for something less strenuous as you followed her across the gym yet again. When your eyes tracked up the height of the rock climbing wall, you felt your arms burn impossibly more and you gulped.
Eventually, you lay on the ledge at the top of the rock climbing wall, with your legs dangling over the side and your back flat at a 45 degree angle to them. Getting up here had been the challenge of your life. You’d never climbed anything before; the ability to float obviously reducing your need to do so. 
Natasha had scaled the wall first, smooth like water falling in reverse. She’d been quiet throughout the entirety of your own attempt. At this point in the day, you took her silence as practically complimentary. It had taken you under half an hour and you would have actually been proud of yourself. If you only had the energy left to care.
Natasha's hand reached out now and rested calmly on your stomach, taking in each of your heaving breaths along with you. She sat stoically by your side, and even with her legs crossed, she seemed a little imperious. 
You looked over at her, your eyes half lidded with the sudden onslaught of exhaustion. Natasha nodded once clearly and you intuitively knew the gym session was finally over.
‘I will never recover.’ You said dramatically, although you were starting to believe it. ‘I could have died, I mean it.’
Natasha leaned over and pressed her lips to your sweaty forehead. ‘Better?’ She murmured, so close that her lips brushed your skin as she spoke.
Your eyes closed fully at her kiss but your face scrunched dramatically at her words. ‘Oh yeah, now the pain’s gone.’ 
‘Tomorrow you’ll be stronger.’ Natasha told you firmly, settling back in her cross legged position, her face entirely unrepentant.
‘Tomorrow, I won’t be able to walk.’ You replied, opening your eyes again.
Natasha rolled her eyes pointedly. ‘The day after then.’ 
‘Does SHIELD have an injury compensation policy?’ You asked, repressing a groan as you sat upright and all your muscles screamed. ‘I’m asking for a friend.’
Natasha didn’t respond, eyes flickering down to the phone that rested in her lap. She picked it up smoothly, unlocked it and focused on it quietly. Immediately, a warm affection, that was entirely unique to her, radiated out into the room.
You looked curiously at the phone, unable to see the screen from your position.
‘Do you know when he’s getting back?’ You asked, taking an educated guess at the sender.
Natasha’s eyes snapped back to you and you knew that, for a moment, she’d been temporarily out of the room. Her emotions shifted to something more muted, like a heavier kind of warmth.
‘He’ll be back for May 1st.’ She said with a careful but calm smile.
‘Oh good, so he finally told you.’ You returned her smile, trying to settle your mild insecurity.
Natasha hesitated briefly. You watched a need to clarify something battle the urge to withhold as much information as possible. It took a second of deliberation that you wouldn’t have caught if you didn’t know her.
‘No.’ Natasha said carefully. ‘But, he’ll be back for May 1st.’
‘New mission?’ You asked, heart heavy already at the thought of her absence. It was enough to make the hell of your recent training experience fade into a lesser crime.
‘No.’ Natasha said again patiently, like she’d already been expecting your follow up and was resigned to follow this conversation trail.
You studied her carefully. Natasha’s face was purposefully not closed off, but the emotions seeped out with a certain chill to them, like she was preparing for an interrogation. It was a specific sort of defensiveness and you could tell immediately that it, at least, didn’t correlate to an emotional pain point under the surface.
‘Then, how can you know?’ You asked, now entirely out of suppositions.
‘We always spend May 1st together.’ She informed you simply. The words gave no indication of sentiment, but you felt the rush of warm affection from her, like it was your own, Suddenly, you knew that whatever the date was between them, it mattered too much for your insecurity to get in the way.
‘It’s his birthday.’ You tried one last time.
‘You think he’d spend his whole birthday just with me?’ Natasha gave you a half smile, head tilting to indicate her incredulity.
‘Well, yes.’ You said, a little confused. ‘Who else would he spend it with?’
That gave Natasha pause. She shook her head to dismiss your point and her hands brushed habitually along her thighs.
‘It’s not his birthday, it’s just a tradition we have.’
‘Are you doing something special?’ 
Natasha stretched her legs out in a show of relaxedness, but her guard was still up. 
‘I don’t know, Clint’s going to surprise me.’ 
Before you could have known if you felt jealous or not, Natasha’s behaviour adjusted like you were. Her eyes narrowed slightly and she drew her teeth along her lower lip, holding you in assessment. 
For whatever reason, her defensiveness softened you entirely. You rested your hand on the outstretched ankle closest to you.
‘Are you excited?’ You smiled gently, trying to alleviate the slight stillness in her gaze.
‘Yes.’ Her response didn’t reveal anything.
But then, all at once, you watched a veil fall from her expression that you didn’t even know was there. A small smile appeared on her face and grew slowly and steadily into a Cheshire Cat kind of grin. A steady buzz of happiness ran around your veins as you watched her beam back at you. The intimateness of her sharing her excitement was an unspoken energy between you.
Eventually, Natasha slid herself over to the edge of the wall, her legs dangling adjacent to your own. Her shoulder nudged your shoulder, and her hand rested tenderly on your thigh. You mirrored the touch, your fingers thrummed on her inner thigh.
Natasha made a contented sigh, legs kicking idly against the wall.
You thought abstractly about the ways that Natasha interacted with the other Avengers. In conversations, you’d begun to notice the way Natasha would twist the dialogue with the others and use it to tease out more than they ever meant to tell. She’d stand there as if behind a one sided mirror and they wouldn’t even realise.
Sometimes, though, when you were alone with her, you’d occasionally discerned a perfect reflection of Natasha herself. It would be in a hum, or a sigh or a half sentence left hanging. You’d see her entirely for a moment, clear like moonlight in a pool of water.
You wondered if you and Clint were the only two who saw it. You were struck with an unexpected feeling of camaraderie with the man who was absent.
‘Do you miss him?’ You asked abruptly in the silence, ignoring how you had cooled uncomfortably, now that you were relatively still.
‘I miss a lot of people.’ Natasha said quietly, legs still kicking rhythmically against the wall. ‘But Clint’ll be back.’ 
‘Like a shit terminator.’ You mumbled.
Natasha elbowed you automatically. You hissed in response and your eyes closed at the unexpected pain. You had already felt like your ribs were bruised from the earlier workout, now it seemed certain.
‘Fuck.’ You both said at the same time.
‘Sorry.’ You apologised unnecessarily, turning away to blink back the reflexive tears filling your eyes.
You could have drowned in Natasha’s expression when you turned back.
‘I wasn’t trying to hurt you.’ She told you softly and carefully, you could hear the line of insecurity under it. You didn’t know if she meant the elbow or the workout.
‘I know, honey.’ You assured her quickly and gave her a small smile. You attempted to deflect the mood to somewhere more positive. ‘Besides, you’re probably going to have to do a lot more than that to motivate me to climb back down.’
‘(Y/N)’ Natasha looked at you seriously. ‘You can literally fly.’
‘You know it doesn’t always feel like that.’ You confessed, not anticipating your own thoughts. ‘Sometimes, when I’m somewhere high enough like this, I just think I’m going to fall. Even when I’m moving off the edge.’ 
Natasha watched you interestedly, her stare somewhat assessing.
I used to be so scared of falling.’ She admitted after a beat, her voice rasping a little. ‘I used to have nightmares about it.’
Your heart jumped in your chest, both at the thought of her falling and of her dreaming about it.
‘What changed?’
‘One time, I just took myself somewhere high and I let myself fall.’ She shrugged. ‘Just so I would know that I could survive it.’
‘Thanks, Bear Grylls.’ You muttered, not knowing how to process what she had told you. A heaviness on your heart that you couldn’t shake immediately.
Natasha took your hand then, and you looked at her.
‘Just fall.’ She said calmly and then she slid right off the ledge.
Part 3 - Hard Landings on Carpeted Floors
The next few moments were a rushed blur that lasted forever and took no time at all. Your heart didn’t beat again until you managed to pull Natasha to a stop an inch from the ground. Your hands braced both of her forearms in an iron grip and you’d never experienced such heart stopping panic in your life.
As the shock bled through your body, your eyes focused on your grip of her forearms. It took a moment before you could tear them away to look back at Natasha.
Natasha gave you a smile, a mix of pride and smugness. It didn’t compute for a second, you felt an immediate lack of context. Then, you realised with a sudden certainty deep in your gut that this had all been the last piece of Natasha’s training session. 
You let your feet touch the ground. You swallowed the scream that had risen in you as you fell. You fought the urge to push her away as you realised her full attempt to lull you into a false sense of security before she jumped. Confusion and hesitancy swarmed Natasha’s expression as you dragged your arms immediately away from her touch.
‘I can’t look at you right now.’ You managed to choke out instead and then you turned and left the room.
You simmered alone in the elevator back to your room. The shock mixed with rage and hurt that you’d never anticipated feeling. You knew already that you’d have nightmares about watching Natasha slip off the edge. Your hands clenched at your sides as you let the aftershocks of that horrible feeling rush through you. Now, you had to link it forever with the realisation that she’d tricked you too.
The elevator stopped moving, but the doors didn’t immediately open.
‘Jarvis, let me out now.’ You spoke quietly, but the warning was clear.
‘(Y/N), it appears that you are experiencing some minor injuries to your ribs following your workout, may I suggest instead the medical wing?’
‘If you don’t open the doors Jarvis, then I’m going to get some much worse injuries trying to break my way out.’ You warned again, voice rising unintentionally.
There was a slightly insolent pause before Jarvis complied. You ignored the small limp you’d developed over the course of your workout as you made it to your room. You tried not to think about Natasha or the horrible feeling still twisting at your insides.
Of course, you opened your door to find Natasha already sitting on your bed.
You closed your eyes, fighting to repress the renewed surge of heavy emotions that her presence brought up.
‘I need you to get out.’ You told the room, a seething tone to the words revealing the tension you felt.
‘You’re being unreasonable.’ Natasha threw back at you and she moved to stand. You braced yourself for a confrontation you couldn’t want less. She had the audacity to look as annoyed as you. You saw her hand twitch slightly and knew that she was fighting the urge to fold her arms in front of her.
‘Yeah, well you’ve been a bitch all day.’ You replied tiredly, the lack of bite making it sound crueler and more honest. The hurt that stung through Natasha’s eyes wasn’t nice to see. She didn’t speak and the room felt muggy with discomfort.
‘Please leave Natasha.’ You said more quietly, folding your own arms. ‘Don’t make me keep asking.’
‘I’ve been trying to help you all day, (Y/N).’ Natasha declared, and you could see real anxiety bleed through in the careful way she held herself. ‘I was helping you all day.’ It was the defiance of the second sentence that made you snap.
‘Fuck you Natasha. I’m not a child.’ The words felt like the opening of the wound, you’d been trying to cover. ‘You can’t just fuck around with me like that. That was beyond cruel. You can’t just -’ Your next thoughts stuttered and died in your mouth. You couldn’t see anything but the moment when she first dropped.
Natasha moved forward, hand moving gently to your shoulder. For the first time, you rejected her touch. Your whole arm jerked away violently, like you’d been burned. She moved back and you felt your control over your breathing start to slip.
‘You can’t fucking die on me either.’ You blurted out finally, recalling the promise she’d once elicited from you. ‘You can’t.” You took a breath that rattled in your lungs. ‘You can’t just.’
And then, you lost all sense of coherency. A rushing noise, like a fast stream, filled your senses entirely and you sank to the ground. 
You felt your lips numbing as you inhaled violently, like you were afraid of being asphyxiated. Your only point of contact with the world was the hand that had flattened against the carpeted floor as you descended.
You fought desperately against the overwhelming blind panic and let the jagged material of the carpet become a point of focus.
The minutes passed, compounding together into an unknown length of time. The last long breath shuddered through you and then it passed.
You looked up from the carpet finally and realised that Natasha had already left.
Up Next: Revenge and Sunrises
-
 Tagging: @idk-what-to-put , @blackxwidowsxwife , @tomy5girls , @username23345 , @euphouriaszn2​ 
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bluesora · a month ago
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when you go for a drive with them
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bokuto kōtarō & akaashi keiji ; kuroo tetsurō & kozume kenma ; hanamaki takahiro & matsukawa issei
fluff ; headcanon ; platonic relationship ; age up!!
note: just me channeling my wants into fics because what are friends when i only have imaginary ones ha ha ha im kidding. please enjoy !!
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bokuto kōtarō & akaashi keiji
it was unplanned. impromptu. and most definitely bokuto’s idea.
he tried to call you but upon seeing his name flash across your screen at 4am, you declined it.
only on the fifth try did you see that it was akaashi and picked it up immediately. he rarely calls, so you thought it might actually be something urgent this time.
“so...remind me why am i awake at at this ungodly hour again?”
“we’re going to watch the sunrise together!!!” bokuto grinned through the rear mirror.
“and i agreed because...?”
“you get free breakfast from us.” akaashi answered as a matter of fact.
which doesn’t sound so bad now that you guys haven’t had the time to chill together as often anymore.
with paper bags of burgers and drinks beside you, bokuto drove up to the hill closest to fukurodani high where many fond memories reside.
being squeezed in the middle of the two on the trunk, you wondered how time had passed so quickly.
“remember how we used to race up this hill and i always win?”
“it’s not a race if you’re the only one running bokuto-san.”
“and you are still calling kou so formally?”
“i guess old habits die hard.”
only when the sky dyed in shades of orange and yellow did the sound of chattering drizzled down.
while bokuto and akaashi was watching the miraculous moment of the sun waking the world up, you realized how much you missed the times you’ve spent with these two.
“we should do this again...”
“we totally should!! but you don’t pick up my calls y/n!!” bokuto sulked.
with that, only the sound of you and akaashi’s laughter filled the tranquility of this precious moment.
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kuroo tetsurō & kozume kenma
kuroo invited you over to kenma’s house for some drinks and catching up. that was what you initially thought.
until you found yourself shoved into his car with kenma lying on the back seat playing his game.
“i could actually sue you for kidnapping you know?”
“it’s not kidnapping if it’s a road trip, right kenma?”
“don’t make me your accomplice when i’m a victim too.”
it’s been a while since you took a long break from work so getting some fresh air out of the city was just what you need as well.
of course, knowing them, they probably planned it beforehand since kuroo isn’t one with much free time in the first place.
and for the first time in a while you decided might as well do what you want.
connecting your phone to the car’s bluetooth system, you went through your nostalgic high school playlist while bringing the window down.
“oh this song! you’d always play whenever we had to clean up the gym.”
“if it gets people moving, it’ll be on the playlist.”
“yamamoto crack his voice once when he tried to impress you with his singing.”
you laughed wholeheartedly, remembering the scene kenma reminded you of. it was so hilarious but adorable at the same time. even kenma chuckled softly from the back.
as the excitement died down, only the music from the speakers filled the comfortable silence as you admire the scenery under the sunny afternoon sun.
“thank you for your kind invitation tetsu, i guess i am in need of a break.”
“awww you don’t have to cry y/n~”
“argh i’m not!”
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hanamaki takahiro & matsukawa issei
“did you get everything? snacks? drinks? what else do we need?”
“yeah yeah i got it all. your favorite strawberry pocky too.” matsukawa dropped the bag of stuff onto your lap as he climbed back to the driver’s seat.
“what about my condoms?” hanamaki joked, only to get smacked on the back of his head from you.
“tell me why am i friends with you two again?”
“because we are the better duo—”
“because you’re afraid of oikawa and iwaizumi is always with him” matsukawa just had to remind you of that frightful day huh.
putting on your seatbelt, you sighed into your seat with a frown. it wasn’t anything drastic but you’ve always been pretty antisocial and somehow being with oikawa kind of drained your energy a lot more than you think.
“you make it sound like you guys are the second option.”
“of course not y/n, we will never forget the day you rejected him but said okay to me and mattsun when we asked immediately after.”
hanamaki laughed while matsukawa chuckled at the familiar memory. it did quite a big blow to oikawa to be honest.
after a few more minutes of bringing up embarrassing past events, you can see the ocean coming into view as the car exits the tunnel.
rolling down the window, you can almost smell the saltiness of the ocean as strong wind blew your hair back freely.
“i call dips on throwing y/n first!”
“hiro, don’t you dare!” you practically glared at the smirking male.
“why call dips when you can grab her arms while i grab her legs?”
you groaned in annoyance but only to feel your lips breaking into a huge grin because you just know how much fun you’ll have when you’re with them.
“oh did i mention i’m actually on my period right now?”
“that’s why i got you tampons, don’t worry and just have fun.” matsukawa grinned with lazy ass look he always have when he know you can’t say anything back.
“seriously why are we friends?”
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atomic-taco-muffin · a month ago
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The Lost Princess Chapter 5
Warnings: angst/fluff. it’s mainly angst
Rating: SFW
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75 years after Xehanort had found you and met the MoM
Xehanort was standing in the keyblade graveyard with Xigbar and Saïx. He recalled the memory he had with the MoM and chuckled. 
“What’s so funny, old man? Mind sharing with us?” Xigbar asked. Xehanort looked at the two men and smirked. 
“I stand here today because of a fated encounter, very many years ago, when I was still a young lad. I never learned who he was, and perhaps I never will. But I see now the truth he spoke of,” Xehanort said. 
“We don’t have time for bedtime stories. Without the kid, we’re still down a thirteenth vessel, and as for the other twelve, only three of us are here right now. Are you absolutely sure the others made their way back to their perspective times?” Xigbar said. Everyone transported to the mountain (is it a mountain?) and continued their conversation there. 
“Marluxia and Larxene are both here in this time, attempting to locate the New Seven Hearts. Luxord is also somewhere about in this age, but after our last meeting, he went in search of something, per your order. Isn’t that so?” Saïx said as he looked at Xigbar. 
“Oh, that, right...Well, let’s just say that what he’s doing will benefit us in the long run, but it’s really of no importance right this second. Go on,” Xigbar said. 
“Playing your cards close as usual.” Saïx looked at Xehanort and he gave a signal to Saïx
“All right. The hearts of Ansem, Xemnas, Vanitas, Riku Replica, and Young Xehanort returned to where they came from, and reassembled once more. Each of them is seeking a guardian of light,” Saïx said. 
“So the ones who turned human, and then back again into Nobodies are me, you, Luxord, Marluxia, and Larxene--that’s five. The ones from the past transferred into replicas are Ansem, Xemnas, Vanitas, Riku Replica, and the old man’s younger self. Then we add the old man in, the total comes up to eleven. I think we’re still missing two,” Xigbar said.  
“Let’s not forget my daughter,” Xehanort said. 
“The spirit? That girl’s got a lot more light than we think. How are you gonna be able to turn her into a vessel?” Xigbar said.
“I have my ways. After all, a father knows what’s best for his daughter. But now, we must discuss why we have assembled here today. My incarnations from past times, vessels into which I transferred my heart, my essence, were destroyed. Thus, I was restored to what you see now. For one to completely disappear, their heart and body must be restored to their original form. That is one reason why I distributed my heart into several vessels. Ansem and Xemnas originated from Terra, or rather his young form--and it too was restored. However, my heart has returned to me, while his is yet lost. I decided to fill this hollow vessel with my heart--indeed, the very same heart that previously resided with young Terra.” 
“So that makes twelve. Then who do we get to replace the kid? Or the spirit?” 
“Twelve replicas were created by Vexen. The first twelve were nothing more than puppets, barely human. The first prototype was the Riku Replica, and then No. i was made. That leaves us with six. Ansem, Xemnas, Vanitas, Riku Replica, and Young Xehanort’s hearts--five vessels, one left. Vexen and Demyx are candidates, but backups at best. The plan for the last replica is to give it a heart that is connected to Sora’s,” Saïx said. 
“Connected to Sora? Anyone in mind?” Xigbar asked. 
“The second prototype that was created, No i. Though erased from memory, it remained in Vexen’s records. Its existence is greatly linked to Sora’s memories, along with (Y/N)’s powers, and thus should prove to be more than adequate for our needs.” 
“No.i...an imaginary number. How fitting.” 
“While Young Xehanort is occupied with transferring hearts, I must go fulfill my duty. I will go and retrieve Vexen.” 
“Reliable as always. It sounds to me like you’ve got everything dependably under control. Well, I’m off to do my part,” Xigbar said as he disappeared through a dark corridor. 
“The plan, as we agreed upon,” Saïx said as he also went through a dark corridor, leaving Xehanort on the mountain. 
“May your heart be your guiding key, (Y/N). You’re gonna need it,” he said. 
~~~~
Today was a beautiful day in the Land Of Departure. Xehanort let you visit Eraqus and you were so excited. You and Xehanort walked inside the castle and you ran up to Eraqus. 
“Uncle Eraqus!” you said as you ran up to him. 
“Hey, kiddo. How’s the best niece ever doing?” he said as he picked you up. 
“Good.” 
“That’s good. Ready to have the best day ever?” 
“Yep!” 
“Take good care of her while I’m gone,” Xehanort said. 
“Don’t worry. We’ll have a good time right?” 
“Right.” you said. 
“Alright then. Come give me a hug before I go,” Xehanort said. Eraqus put you down and you ran to Xehanort to give him a hug. 
“Be safe, daddy,” you said. 
“I will. You go have fun. I’ll be back soon,” Xehanort said. 
“Okay.” You let him go and ran back to Eraqus. You thought that he was going on a mission to defeat some heartless but really it was something really horrible. He arrived at the keyblade graveyard to give Ventus a keyblade lesson. At least that’s what Ven thought. But it was actually a way to see who was worthy of murdering you. 
(This scene broke my heart. I love Ven so much)
Ventus looked around the Neoshadows that were surrounding him and became scared of what they were going to do. 
“Please don’t do this, Master. I’m not strong enough,” Ven said. 
“No. It is because you are trying to hold it in. Let the dark impulses waken in the pit of your heart. Release them, here and now! Sharpen your fear into rage. You must! If you do not let the storm within you run its course, it will wipe you from the face of the world, make no mistake! Do it. Embrace the darkness. Produce for your Master the χ-blade! It is the only way to stop the spirit who wants to destroy the world!” Xehanort said. A Neoshadow jumped out at Ven and got attacked by it. Xehanort groaned and walked over to Ven. 
“Really? You would rather die than use the power? Feckless neophyte. If I must...I will extract the darkness from within you myself,” he said as he summoned his keyblade. He held his keyblade over Ven and used it to extract the darkness out of him. Ven felt his heart break in half as his darkness was extracted. Ven watched as his darkness turned into a human being. It hurt. A lot. Like he was losing half of his soul. The pain became too much and Ven passed out, not remembering anything of what just happened. 
“Empty creature from Ventus riven...to you, the name Vanitas shall be given,” Xehanort said. 
“Yes, Master,” Vanitas said. And that was how you got your new brother.  
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buckysflannelpajamas · 2 months ago
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Bleeding Hearts
Summary: Being Tony Starks daughter has its pros and cons. One of the pros being you get to live with your best friends, the Avengers. One of the cons you will soon find out is having to deal with the one and only, James Buchanan Barnes...
Takes place during the imaginary time after Civil War where everyone love in the tower and goes through to Endgame.
Trigger warning: Talks of depression/depressing thoughts
Chapter 5
2nd person POV
Fading. That's how you describe the feeling when you start to stoop into a depressive episode. You can feel your emotions fading to numbness, and eventually an all encompassing emotional down. Each avenger has their own way of trying to help you through it. Honestly you want to be left alone for the most part, alone to dwell in the sadness you think you deserve. It was harder when you first decided to move back into the tower after living on your own when you had been released from the hospital. In the beginning, you couldn't even get a moment alone. But eventually everyone got into a pattern of how they help you deal with your depression.
Wanda and Vision make you baked goods. Mainly strawberry cupcakes. Wanda comes to deliver them to your room every morning, and subtly implies she will be going shopping later and hinting at you coming. It worked a total of one time. But after having a mental breakdown in the Gucci dressing room you realized it probably wasn’t best for you to be in public when you feel this way.
Steve and your dad are always the most worried. They check on you multiple times a day. Steve also draws you caricatures of avengers and writes something funny underneath them. This is the closest Steve has ever gotten to understanding memes. Tony on the other hand tries to lure you out of your funk by bribing you with a trip to your favorite Korean food restaurant in South Korea via his private jet.
Pepper sends you flowers. The two of you aren’t close and aren't overly fond of eachother. You assume she mainly sends the flowers to please Tony.
Peter constantly sends you memes throughout the day, which you mostly ignore.
No one knows where Thor and Bruce are so it’s safe to say they don't know when you’re suffering, and no one wants to call Clint just to inform him you’re sad again.
Uncle Rhodey usually finds out because Tony needs to vent to someone about his worries. What he does for you by far one of the coolest things. He has a military buddy of his hack into the computers of major entertainment companies so you can see blockbuster movies before they are released.
Natasha, who is sort of a mother figure to you though the two of you would never admit it, comes to you late at night when your insomnia kicks in. Neither of you speak, she simply sits down on your bed beside you and braids your hair while the TV show ‘how it’s made’ plays softly in the background. The two activities always help you to sleep. And on the nights you can’t stop crying, she’ll lie there with you, rubbing your back like a mother calming her child until her tears stop.
Finally, Sam comes in the moment you need it most, right when you are so tired and drained that you’re ready to open up about how you're feeling.
It’s day 3 of your depression and you have just reached that point. Somehow, Sam always knows when you’re ready.
You’re sitting up in bed, bundled up in an exuberant amount of blankets and staring blankly at the wall in front of you. Your mind drifts through a series of depressing thoughts.
Pathetic.
Worthless.
Burden.
These are the words that are most consistently in your mind.
For a moment you consider no longer taking your meds. Sometimes it feels as though they don't work anyway.
That’s when you hear the knock outside your living room door.
“Friday, tell Sam he can come on in.” You mumble to the disembodied AI, your voice raw from all the crying you’ve been doing.
“Of course, miss.” Even Friday sounds saddened by your less than pleasant mental state.
You don’t bother to wipe your tears away, you would be crying soon again anyway.
You hear Sam make his way through your front door, passing through the living area and opening the door to your room.
You notice Sam holding a steaming plate of eggs, sausage, and hash browns in one hand. He must have found out from Friday that all you’ve really eaten this week is Wanda and Visions strawberry cupcakes.
“I would have brought some OJ too but then I wouldn’t have been able to open the door.” Sam jokes. He takes a quick glance around your room, trying to gauge how bad the episode is. Used tissues cover the floor by the right side of the bed. Worn pajamas are strewn around on the floor and the pile of clothes you leave on your chair hasn’t been cleaned up. You usually clean it once a week. Not to mention your greasy hair makes it obvious that you haven’t showered in a few days.
“Pretty bad, huh?” Sam asks.
“Yeah.” You answer honestly. You don’t need to bullshit with Sam.
He takes a seat by you on the bed, placing the food in front of you. “You hungry?”
“Yeah, but-“
“But you feel like you deserve the pain?”
“You know that.” You sigh.
“Tell me why.”
“You know why too.”
Sam pushes a fork in your hand. “I’m trusting you with this.” He jokes, earning an actual laugh from you before moving on. “I have a general idea, but I don’t like to make assumptions.”
You poke at the eggs with your fork. “I-“ it’s hard to speak. You know at any moment you’re going to break out sobbing. “I feel so weak.” You choke out. “I put the whole team at risk by being naive enough to think a guy wouldn’t try drugging my drink at a crowded party. Even if it is my house.”
Sam doesn't speak yet. He always waits for you to let it all out.
“How could I be so fucking stupid?!” You sob. “I was selfish. Why do you all even keep me around? I’m a liability and a burden to the team. I hate that about myself and I hate that I’m so weak! I hate that no matter how hard I train, I’ll never be strong like any of you! And I know that that’s also selfish because you all went through so much pain to be what you are, but I can’t help but feel insignificant. I’m just some dumb fucking artist that sits around all day doddling while you all are actually doing something meaningfull in the world!” There it is. The root of what triggered your episode. It’s not just about Authur. It's about the fact that you can’t protect yourself. It’s the constant feeling of insignificance that lingers in the back of your mind.
Sam puts a hand on your shoulder and squeezes it gently. “First of all, you’re not just some dumb fucking artist.” He quotes you. “You are a world renowned artist and you should be proud of it. More importantly, you are not insignificant or a burden. Ok? If we didn’t want you around, you wouldn’t be here. We all love you and want you to be here with us. You’re part of our family. You might not be on the front lines, but you do more for the world than you know.”
You roll your eyes. “Yeah I doubt that.”
“I mean it.” Sam Insists. “You said so yourself that you know how much pain we’ve been through. How do you think the avengers would keep it together without their own little therapist.” He laughs lightly.
You furrow your brows. “Um, Sam, I’m not a therapist. I can barely keep myself together.”
“You might not be licensed but you are always there for us. Getting us to talk through our thoughts and feelings. Giving us advice and helping us come to a resolution.”
“That’s what friends are for.” You shrug.
“Yeah well friends don’t usually have to deal with their other friends' war trauma and helping them deal with finding out their best friend they thought was dead is actually alive and actively trying to kill them.”
You stay silent for a moment. “I guess that’s true.”
Sam pats you lightly on the back. “You keep the avengers sane so that we can help the world. Which is just as important.”
Finally, you take a bite of your eggs. “I disagree that it’s just important but I know that argument won’t go anywhere, so I’ll just accept it.”
“I know that this conversation won’t solve all of life's problems, but maybe it helped you feel good enough to to get up out of bed? Maybe get up and take a shower? No offense, but you don’t exactly smell like daisies.” He laughs.
You shove Sam in the arm. “Hey! You should take a whiff of yourself after you come back from a mission.”
“Touché.” Sam pauses, noticing something on your bedside table.
“Sour gummy worms? That’s not part of your usual routine…” Sam trails of, reaching over you to grab the box of candy before you have a chance to stop him.
“Wait-”
It's too late, he sees the note written in scribbly cursive on the piece of paper attached to the back of the box.
“Who’s this from?” He asks curiously, hoping from your bed and moving around as you chase him down, frantically trying to remove the letter from his grasp.
“Sam stop!”
“Dear y/n,” Sam starts to read aloud. “I don’t pity you. I relate to you. When I said I’m sorry I meant it.”
You jump, reaching for the letter but Sam moves it high above his head.
He continues to read. “I meant to tell you sorry before the party. I only blew up at the hospital because I was mad at myself for letting someone on the team get hurt. I shouldn’t have been such an asshole to you. I know it’s a lousy excuse but I was just jealous of your happiness. If you give me the chance, I’d like to make it up to you. I heard you like Star Wars. I haven’t seen the movies… maybe we can watch them sometime? Sincerely, James Buchanan Barnes.”
Sam looks at you with the biggest shit eating grin on his face. “You two got a movie date?”
You finally snatch the candy and letter from his hand. “See this is why I didn’t want you to read it! I knew you would take it that way.” You pout.
“How else am I supposed to take it?” Sam laughs.
“Like a guy with a guilty conscience is trying to be nice to the sad girl.” You say as if it’s the most obvious thing ever.
“You can be so blind to some things.” He shakes his head.
You furrow your brows. “What do you mean?”
Sam takes a seat back down at the end of your bed. “Everyone living in the tower can tell he has the hots for you.” He pauses in thought. “Expect for Tony. Barnes would be as good as dead if he knew.”
“You’ve been talking to Nat and Wanda, haven’t you?”
“And Steve and Vision.” He grins. “We have a whole group text dedicated to the conversation.”
“Great.” You groan, rubbing your temples as you take a seat by Sam on the bed.
“Look, you don’t have to believe me. But you should at least give him a chance to make it up to you. I’m not Barnes biggest fan, but he’s really not a bad guy.”
You open your mouth to protest, but Sam interrupts you.
“Just think about it, ok?” Sam gets up from your bed, making his way to the door. “And take a shower in the meantime! You stink little sister!”
You grab a pillow and throw it at him, the pillow only managing to hit the door as he closes it.
“And eat some food too!”
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How to Act Like Massie Block
 Steps
   We'll start with attitude, by far the most important aspect of being like Massie Block. If you only take one thing from this, remember that you must always show, radiate, and have CONFIDENCE! This means not pointing out your flaws to others, (ex: "My hair is so frizzy today!" or "Is this top cute? 'Cause I'm not sure...") having good posture and always looking straight ahead, (never at the ground) and not ever letting people know when you feel unsure of yourself or your opinions. Never appear to be upset. Don't cry or make comments about how "your life sucks." You must always make it seem as if you have everything together, and that your life is perfect, or else people will never idolize you. Even if you're majorly embarrassed about something, you have to just laugh it off and forget it (don't make it a big deal). You can never show weakness!  
 Another crucial part of your Massie transformation is looking the part. Massie is gorgeous. She has straight, extremely shiny brunette hair, about shoulder length, sparkling amber eyes, and perfect skin. You don't have to look exactly like this, (always choose the look that works best on you) but you must always appear your best.  
 Without a fabulous wardrobe, Massie would be nothing. Be a true fashionista and wear expensive clothes from stores/designers like BCBG, Coach, Juicy Couture, Ralph Lauren, Seven For All Mankind, Guess, Lacoste, C&C California, Marc Jacobs, Joie, True Religion, etc. Always dress to impress! Never leave the house in sweats and a T-shirt (unless they're Juicy!). Even if you can't afford uber-expensive clothes, make sure to always look pulled together and stylish, with coordinated accessories and cute shoes. Don't tell anyone where you got your cheaper clothes unless you have a social death wish! A final note on inexpensive clothes: don't ever wear anything that looks cheap. This means don't go for the Wal-Mart or Target look when you can be buying low-priced (and way cuter) clothing from Forever 21 or Wet Seal. Oh, and no too tight/too big tacky clothing please. Wear stuff that fits you and looks good. Not sure? Get a second opinion. Make sure your underwear/bras are cute, too, from stores like Victoria's Secret or underglam.com. Trust me, people do notice in the locker room when you're changing. Never wear the same outfit more than once every two weeks or more: if you double up, people will think that you are thrifty and don't have very many clothes...and we wouldn't want them to think that, would we? No.  
 Massie is the queen bee. Popular. Worshipped. And how does she do this? By looking fabulous, having the right attitude, and establishing her dominance by using intimidation. Get together a clique of the prettiest and most fashionable girls in the school, 3-4 others. Make sure you are their leader. Your beta (second in command) should be the most loyal. The other girls should also be loyal and reliable; make sure you have at least one nice-ish girl to keep the peace in your clique. If you don't all get along, you will never rule. It's all about unity. This doesn't mean you can't boss them around though--it's what Massie would do! Test the waters by starting off really nice, then gradually getting a bit harsher. If they stick with you, you'll know you have 'em forever. Lighten up a bit if they start to stray. Make sure people are somewhat scared/intimidated by you, so that you know they'll do whatever you want. Be totally snobby to the losers at your school (a.k.a. basically everyone outside your group). Chances are, you'll be so fabulous by then, it will only make them idolize you more.  
 You must be thin to maintain your social status! This means very little or no fatty/sugary foods like chips, soda, candy, fried chicken, pizza, etc. It's a tough sacrifice to make, but well worth it in the long run! Work out regularly on a treadmill, doing crunches, squats, or playing the specified sports below. Chew sugarless gum. Never be too skinny or develop an eating disorder. Not only will many rumors be circulated about you, but you could even die from it!
   Get super shiny hair by using shine shampoo, (such as Citré Shine or Brilliant Brunette Shine-Release) shine serum or spray, (know your limit--don't use too much or your hair will look greasy) and rinsing out your conditioner with cool water (as cold as you can stand it!). Straighten your hair with a good-quality flat iron and consult hair magazines or a hair stylist to find the best cut for your face (but never shorter than shoulder length!).  
 If you desire brown eyes, (and you don't have 'em) experiment with color contacts.  
 Achieve your best skin by washing your face morning and night with a good cleanser (Clean & Clear works great) and exfoliating and moisturizing daily. If you have dry skin, wash your face once per day and use more moisturizer; if you have more oily skin, skip the moisturizer. When you're drying your face, remember to pat, not rub, (rubbing pulls the skin and causes wrinkles). If you have bad acne that cannot be fixed by this skincare regimen, see a dermatologist.  
 Now for make-up...it can do so much for your face, turning you from plain to perfect in a matter of minutes. But be careful not to wear too much--you want to be like Massie, not Nina! Wear an eyeshadow in a natural color like brown, gold, or beige, (or whatever subtle color compliments your eye color) thinly line your eyes with a black or brown eyeliner, add a coat or two of blackish-brown mascara, and conceal all of your blemishes with the right shade and amount of concealer. It's also very important to remember your lip gloss--Massie would never leave home without hers! Buy a variety of different good-smelling flavors and bring them everywhere you go.  
  Make sure your teeth are bright-white and perfect. If your teeth are crooked, use "Invisiline" rather than getting braces (a lot more attractive!). Whiten your teeth with laser procedures or Crest Whitestrips. Brush at least twice a day with whitening toothpaste, and remember to floss!
 Tips
   Get a super cute dog (the smaller the better) such as a Chihuahua or a Pug, in black, light brown, or honey color (they're the cutest). You can also get a kitty; they're ah-dorable, too. Tell your pet everything, (yes, you can talk to her about your insecurities!) and love her as your child. Dress her in the cutest fashions, (this works best if you have a dog) and take her on walks in the evening with your Louis Vuitton leash.  
 Use words like "ah-mazing," "ah-dorable," and "ah-nnoying". Say "ehmagawd!" when you're shocked, surprised, or excited about something. When something is well-known and "ah-bvious" to you, say, "Given!". When you have the same opinion as someone, say, "Ah-greed". When something someone says strikes you as reasonable, say, "Point!" and draw an imaginary "1" with your finger if you desire.  
 Have the best and biggest room. Go with Massie and have everything be white, no exceptions! Make sure you have a queen-size bed, (you are one, right?) an Apple computer, a giant walk-in closet to store all your ah-mazing clothes, and a leather chaise by your bay window to have long phone conversations and brush your pet before going to bed. Vanilla scented candles are a nice touch, too. Have everyone refer to your room as the "iPad".  
 Sports are luh-ame unless they are something classy and don't involve getting dirty like Tennis, Horse-back Riding, or Volleyball. And shopping, of course!
    Purple is the official color of royalty. Therefore it's your favorite color. Wear it, love it, decorate everything from books and pens to your cell phone with it (purple rhinestones, of course!).  
 Speaking of cell phones, you need one! It's the perfect way to stay updated on gossip and keep in contact with your friends. Make sure you have a texting plan so that you your clique can silently dish about stuff in class, detention, wherever! Cover it in Swarovski crystals and bring it everywhere you go.  
 Get together a carpool with your clique. Taking the bus is so ew!  
 Wear a charm bracelet with charms such as a shoe, Eiffel Tower, dog or cat, (whichever you have) star, and most importantly, a crystal-encrusted crown! Make sure the charm bracelet is gold, and never have any of the charms be silver (tacky much?). Buy it from Tiffany if you have the money.
   Always have your fingernails and toenails perfectly manicured! I highly suggest a french tip for fingernails, because it coordinates so well with everything. Have them done at a fancy salon with your clique afterschool or on a weekend for a fun activity.  
 Throw a fabulous party to increase your popularity. Invite everyone.  
 You must always be prepared with a witty comeback for if, on some rare occasion, a wannabe insults you. One of my favorite Massie-style ones is, "Did I invite you to my barbecue?...Then why are you all up in my GRILL?" Consult the Clique books for some other great ones, or make some up yourself. Never let anyone get the best of you or think that they have won. Remember that YOU are in charge. YOU make the rules.  
 It helps to have an AIM account, or MSN, you'll need it to keep in touch with you friends one-on-one!  
 The magazines Teen Vogue, ElleGirl, and Lucky are your bible. Read them religiously(but not in a creepy way...)
 Warnings
   Be prepared to receive some backlash from the people that wish they were you. In other words, the jealous people. They may spread some pretty nasty stuff about you, but respond with something positively catty (your beta will help) to show them who's really the boss.
   There may be occasions where controversy arises in your clique. Like a power-trip, where a girl in your clique suddenly wants the throne. Start by putting her in her place by telling her off in the hallway (preferably with many people around). If she still doesn't get the hint, kick her out the group and recruit someone new. Chances are, she'll come crawling back, begging for forgiveness. Let her back in after a little while, and ditch the temporary.
   Many people will probably think you're a mean person. But they'll still love you, and wish they were just like you (they'll love to hate you). This is inevitable if you want to be on top like Massie. You'll get used to it.
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vvsminhyung · 2 months ago
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i. 𝐃-𝐃𝐀𝐘, 𝟒:𝟏𝟖𝐏𝐌
Today's weather is shitty.
Dry air, and tremendous heat to start his afternoon. Jaemin has come to a conclusion that maybe he shouldn't have agreed to this after all. That maybe he should have just stay in their dorm, and not let Donghyuck drag him outside his bedroom just to go out and get a fucking grocery shopping.
"Come on man, you're the cook here. I don't know shit about kitchen." Jaemin heavily drags out a huff, and skips forward. Not even bothering to respond to his friend who is dragging the cart.
"Whatever," Jaemin looks at the notes on his phone and checks the foods that was already in the cart. "Just dial Jeno already so we can get home as soon as possible."
"Fine."
Eyes looking out for fresh dairies, Jaemin continues to carry out his responsibility as the only normal cook out of his senior friends. They were four - actually five, but the other one has gone to the other side of the building because he was pretty much older than them. Just one year apart and all, but college priorities weren't exactly the time to kid around, especially if you are friends with a bunch of stupid seniors.
"Renjun's coming with him."
Jaemin nods, and proceeds to carefully placed the snacks he seems to befit on their tastes. Going on around and around for another stall, he stops at a certain cooler filled with buckets of ice creams. An imaginary drool coming out of Donghyuck's masked face.
Jaemin shakes his head and takes one out.
"Make it two."
He sighs, and well, gets two. They have loads of money after all, food was easy to obtain with rich parents.
"Actually, let's get it five. I don't want to share it with anyone."
Jaemin raises a brow. "It's just the four of us stupid."
"Shut up. I get the extra one, of course."
"Fine, but you pay me back."
"Whatever."
Rolling the wheels around, Donghyuck tails off behind Jaemin's back steps by steps like a child following their mother around. He was about to bother Jaemin with another plead of chocolate by the stall when his phone suddenly rings in his pocket. A call from Jeno. Telling him that he's at the parking lot now with Renjun. Donghyuck says it out loud unconsciously for Jaemin to hear, when he felt himself eerily get no response from the said boy.
"Where the hell - ?"
"What, why?" Jeno asks from the other side.
"Jaemin's off to somewhere without telling me, probably forgotten something but whatever. I'll just wait him here."
And it was true, Jaemin has sure forgotten something. Coffee in the morning. He smiles in satisfaction and grabs one, about to head back towards his friend Donghyuck by the counter until he heard a commotion by his side. A little far away from him, but enough for his ears and sight to ring the alarm that maybe something's happening out there by the side of the stall. He was curious, of course who wouldn't be? Especially when all of their expressions had written the word panic on it, and a seemingly skilled woman has been giving a CPR to this kid laying on the floor. Spasming his body out weirdly.
Jaemin felt guilty, but it's not like he can do something about that moment. He's a future lawyer, not a medical student. And besides, the woman already looks professional and skilled, something that could help the poor boy out. Surely, they had already called an ambulance out for him now, right? There's no need for him too, right?
"But yeah, fuck it. Let's call them again." Jaemin smashes off the digit on his dial app, and tries contacting the ambulance. Strangely enough, they weren't answering. Another call, then the third call, then the fourth. They were still not on line. Jaemin wondered if all hospitals was damn busy today for them not to take his calls.
About to make his fifth call, Jaemin almost drops his phone down when an ear-piercing scream perceives his earbuds. The woman. The one who was giving the CPR, screams - almost so painfully and in agony. Jaemin had almost lose his shit at the sight, but one thing he knows is that something's not playing right. Something's definitely off, and it was that kid laying on the ground.
He is now standing, visible black veins spread throughout his body and eyes that almost falls off its pockets. Blood rushing through them and undefined expression. Though, what terrifies Jaemin the most is that how his small baby teeth keeps sinking down the woman's flesh. Particularly, her nose. Ripping it off, then proceeding to the neck part. It didn't even help that she was stunned on her knees, and the kid has taken the advantage of towering his figure above her's.
Jaemin doesn't totally understand what the fuck just happened right now, but all he knows is that he should run off and get Donghyuck, and their groceries. Trudge to Jeno and get the fuck out of this mad place.
"The fuck took you so long - Hey, wait!" Jaemin doesn't hesitate to take over the cart in his own matter. Glaring at Donghyuck, then facing him.
"Just trust me on this, alright. You know I'm never the type to do this thing."
Donghyuck wasn't a slow-poked. He was a quick-witted learner who had a tiny hint of what Jaemin is on about. He heard a faint scream earlier, something that definitely tells him that maybe Jaemin had clearly heard it off well earlier while he was stalling around. Resulting to his behavior right now.
"Alright, whatever that is, I trust you. No need to fret Jaemin, let's go."
Dashing off without paying the matters on their hand, they had reach the parking lot with exhausted gasps and catching their breaths. Jaemin on the other hand, wastes no time and fill Jeno's trunk with their groceries. Throwing all the stocks flat on the space, and almost toppling the ice creams all over the place. But Jaemin doesn't care. It wasn't the time for that.
"Goodness, what the fuck happened to you two?"
Renjun says the moment the two entered in.
Jaemin ignores him, and eyes Jeno. "Drive now, Jeno. Whatever you do, please do not stop."
"What, why?"
"Just trust him man, I think there were bad guys at the market." Donghyuck sighs, and looks at Jaemin for assurance. His eyes are asking if his hunch is correct. It was the bad guys, right? What of it, if it's not? It was the only reason he could think of, especially of the woman's scream.
"I-I don't know.." Jaemin gulps, and this was their first time seeing his figure so afraid and hooded. Jaemin, normally on a daily basis, is a calm and laid back teenager, not really someone who's extrovert and outgoing. Sure, he goes on and on with his tantrums and complains, but it was because of his stupid friends. That was his common traits, not someone who was easily scared. Donghyuck wonder what's up. He should know, he was with him earlier. He was about to ask him once again, when something came out of his peripheral vision, some ruckus and outstanding screams from the main road.
All four gasps at the sight.
"Jeno, n-now." Jaemin whispers, enough words to snap them back to reality. His voice trembles, remembering what happened earlier with the kid and the woman now that he has seen another one by the street. This time, it was a three person ganging up one citizen down the floor. All biting the poor old man and taking his skin like it was some sort of food.
"T-That's fucking crazy! We should help him!"
"Fuck no, we shouldn't. Goddamnit!"
Jaemin's fast reflexes had halted the boy just in time before his foot could fully step out of the car, his side of door left hanging open due to his persistence of stopping him. Jaemin gawks slightly, and immediately hurries to close it, proceeding to lock all doors on Jeno's side by the driver seat so no one can't get out that easily.
Though by the process of that, may have cause a difficult situation for them.
The door got slammed a bit louder than Jaemin expected, out of panic and definitely not even bothering to think that maybe the three inhuman citizens had heard them. His eyes widen in realization, and he furiously turns around to face Jeno who seems to got everything without telling him to drive the fuck out and just go. Jeno grips the wheel tighter and full speed out of the lot. He may have his eyes set on the direction of the road, but he couldn't also help but notice the destruction that cause the city. It was a mess. People had gone screaming and running around places, streetlights that gone tilted due to cars who have bump them, and multiple car crash by the road. Smoke has erupted out of it, and Jeno, being a man who had driven the longest out of them, has managed to dodge it somehow without creating a collision with the other vehicles.
"Why the fuck are they chasing us?" Renjun pertains to the three other persons running after them.
Donghyuck scoffs, turning to look at Jaemin. "What the fuck is wrong with you? We could have save the man right there, you asshole."
"There's no way in hell we could have save him, Donghyuck."
"What?"
"They're eating the fuck out of him, how are we supposed to save one at that?" Jaemin's tone rises, and the atmosphere of the car grew colder than the air conditioner itself. Donghyuck remains blank and glares at Jaemin, he is finding something. Something that can tell him that maybe this younger is pulling a joke on him, and the eating part is a huge prank to keep him quiet. If that's it, then Jaemin is good. He managed to keep him quiet, but not too long. Because first and foremost, Jeno had almost bump a person crossing the road rather slowly.
"Fuck."
Jaemin hiss at the sudden halt and glances at the direction of his North, looking at the reason why they stop. Once again, it was a person spasming the fuck out of his body. But this one is standing. A man. Probably the age of thirties. Jaemin's eyes widen when its eyes turns to look at them. There goes again the weird expression he witness earlier, as if they were uncomfortable and malfunctioning at the same time.
"What the actual fuck is that." Renjun utters, breaking the silence between them.
Jeno, an intellectual at this moment, doesn't care about the man and ran him all over the places. Not feeling a sense of any guilt when he felt a thud underneath his car. Bumping tons of bodies from god knows what creatures are them right now.
"This is fucking stupid." Donghyuck curse out, just getting the hint of what's happening. It was no doubt that the living dead is something that had been a famous category for thriller and horror in movies all over the years, but still, in Donghyuck's perspective, it was a bit too much. He honestly can't believe it was seriously happening to them right now.
"That's it, we're driving away here. Jeno, get this car out of the main city." Jaemin orders, and no one could even retaliate at that. They agree, none of it matters at the moment other than their safety.
Just out of the Seoul, and drive away from here.
to be continued. ( 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐. )
2 notes · View notes
pepsi-writes · 2 months ago
Text
all american stories
He leaned on the door to support his weight as he laughs the hardest he has ever laughed in his entire life. Imaginary friend? Mr. Wiggles? Those thoughts alone were making America cackle.
"We are serious. Mr. Wiggles," Mrs. Dorji shivered at the mention of that name, "has been absolutely terrorizing Tandin for the last few weeks, and we would absolutely like you to get rid of him. Alas, we have tried to get rid of Mr. Wiggles, but..." She trailed off, trembling from remembering the event. She looked back up, tears now streaming across her face. Mr. Dorji wrapped an arm around his wife as a desperate attempt to comfort her. America finally gained enough composure to choke out a "A-alright, alright, I'll get rid of whatever Mr. Wiggles is, and you two and Tandin can rest assured that Mr. Wiggles won't terrorize anybody, anymore!"
With that, he snatched his Super - Duper - Totally - Effective - Imaginary - Friend - Destroyer - 3000 and let the Dorji's lead him to what he assumed was Tandin's room. As Mr. Dorji opened the door,  America thought to himself.
Come on, Meri, the guy's name is Mr. Wiggles!
Mrs Dorji was probably exaggerating anyway. Who even cries over an imaginary friend?
It can't be that bad.
Right?
-----
NATO turned to America with a decisive look. "I've decided that I cannot call you 'United States of America' anymore, since you are my father. I've compiled a list of possible 'nicknames', in which you will choose one for me to address you as."
America squinted, unsure of why his son was being so stuffy and formal. This was a party after-woah. NATO had pulled out a super long list, so long that it brushed against the floor whenever he moved. "Let us begin with the first name. Father?" he quizzed. "No," America answered. "Too formal for me."
NATO let out an 'ah', then continued.
"Vater?"
"No. I keep on forgetting what that means, anyway."
"Daddy-"
"Absolutely not."
"Old man?"
"Come on, I'm not that old." America chuckled.
NATO tried many different variations, many different spellings, and many different nicknames. At this point, America just wanted to get into his car and drive home. After thirty minutes of NATO shouting out names, he decided to do just that. As soon as America unlocked the door to his house, he bolted to his bed and flopped on it, embracing its soft covers. The enchanting aroma of his pillow and the layers of warm quilts combined felt quite nice actually.
So nice, actually, that he fell asleep in a matter of minutes.
He woke up to a person delicately shaking him, as if he was a wilting flower. He couldn't see the figure very clearly, but he made out enough of the figures' features to identify it as NATO. NATO himself kneeled down to softly whisper in his father's ear:
"Papa?"
"I-wha-No!"
according to wattpad people love this shitpost the most
------
"China!" America saw him and ran towards him, his arms outstretched for a rare hug.
"America!" China also ran towards him, cradling something behind his back.
"China!" America cocked a rifle that he had behind his back.
"America!" China pulled out a shoulder-fired-missile weapon.
-----------
America turned his camera to the sign. The "T" flickered in and out, while the other letters stayed bright as if there were nothing wrong with its companion. For America, that was perfect vine material. No matter if he had to get out of his car and stand in the freezing rain. He wasn't going to throw away his shot.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he said, putting on his announcer voice, "welcome to, T-T-T-T-TARGET!"
------------
this is just one big dad joke
America, looked at Austria with a perplexed expression on his face. "What do you mean 'don't eat that'? It's just an apple. You can do my check-up as soon as I eat it." He held the apple closer to his mouth, its red skin glistening in the dim lights of the therapy room.
Austria snatched the apple and walked over to the nearest garbage can, opening the lid.
"That's the point," he seethed, throwing away the apple. "Haven't you ever heard of the rhyme? They say it all the time in your clay."
"What rhyme are you talking about?" America said, wondering if there was something he missed while not paying attention at school. Was it a nursery rhyme like 'Ring Around the Rosie,' or-
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, you dummkopf!" he yelled.
Oh, that rhyme.
"I'm allergic to apples, so if you eat an apple, I can't do scheiße to you during our session. Were you not listening when I told everybody this?" Austria questioned.
"Ye-"
"Good. Now never eat an apple again."
--------
"Are you drunk?" Russia asked, looking down at America who was laying face flat on the pool table.
America flipped over so he was facing Russia. "No, I'm not," he replied, but the shit-eating grin on his face told him otherwise. "You're drrrunk."
Russia shook his head. This was the third time America had gotten drunk this week. What was happening with his life that he needed to drink every time he had his back turned? "Come on, we're going home."
America's face morphed into one of exaggerated displeasure."Noooooooo!"
"Stop complaining. We're going home, and you're going to bed."
two bros walking each other home. i deleted some fluff because it was bad.
-------
Russia tipped America's head up, revealing his awful eye bags. Examining them closely, he said, "Do you feel okay? Because you don't look okay."
America slowly pulled away to take a sip of his sixth cup of coffee since one in the morning. He gave a shaky thumbs up. "Never been better."
"You're going to bed."
"Already passing out."
---------
His eyelids fluttered open.
The first thing that America noticed was that he wasn't home, or anywhere, actually. Surveying his surroundings, he guessed he was in some sort of basement. A gust of wind blew against the mahogany curtain that decorated the only window in the room, fluttering them open and sending a single ray of light his way. America squinted at the sudden light, his sight still hazy. He tried to stretch out, but something kept him still. As soon as his vision cleared he looked down to see what was keeping him in place.
The second thing America noticed was that he was bound to a chair. By rope. Great. Now he got kidnapped. Wow. Astronomical. Phenomical.
He tried to remember what got him in this situation. He could admit, he had terrible memory - and the memories came flooding back, almost as if a wall broke down. Getting invited out for dinner, drinking some spicy juice or something at a bar, feeling weird, but not in a drunken weird. Getting dragged out to an alley by an adult child. His head hurting for a split second and then everything going black-oh. He was drugged and knocked out; he should have thought of this earlier. It seemed pretty cliche to be stuck in this situation, but everything that's happened lately might as well have been one of John Mulaney's stories.
The third thing America noticed was that he was bored. Like, super bored. Being shoved in a basement didn't prove frightening to him, just boring. Besides, he didn't get to experience the supposed scary part of it, so what's the point anyway? He was more accustomed to being swift with everything, living the, excuse his language, fast life. Tapping his foot, America satisfied himself with the blowing curtain, watching it flap in neverending waves, never settling. Damn, he really wanted some music to go with this. Even if it was Britain's despised classical music, he just wanted something other than this silence, this nothing.
-----
America stared in horror as the figure stepped closer into the light. Colombia gripped his arm tightly, and he was sure that would leave a bruise later. Now he could see that the figure had their arms up in surrender and that they looked confused, as if they didn't know what was going on. Their flag looked like a carbon copy of Colombia's, but only with a coat of arms in the middle.
"Colombia?" the country asked, their eyes lighting up. Colombia? That complete stranger knew his name?
He gasped. "Educador! Compadre, compadre, ¿como estas? ¿Quieres agua o algo para relajarte?"
Colombia knew this guy?
-----
America walked up to her, giggling at his phone. "Hey, come look at this video I made of you! Bet you'll like it~", he teased, trying to get Slovakia's attention.
Slovakia turned around, obviously annoyed. "Fine, but it better not be embarrassing, and you better not have shown it to Czech." America snickered at her mention of Czech, knowing that Slovakia was still basically lovesick for him. He handed her the phone, and clicked play.
Czech walked up to Slovakia's door, Hungary following close behind and eventually settling on the chair that was placed next to her door. He let out a sigh, checking his watch. He finally said in a small voice, "Slovensko, are you ok? We haven't heard from you all day. Hungary's practically begging to leave the house," she glared daggers at Czech , but he continued. "but Poland says he's not leaving without you."
No answer.
"Slovensko? Are you asleep? It's okay if you're sleeping, and in fact Hungary and I will leave you alone to-"
"Open up, fucknugget." This time Hungary was speaking, and in a low voice that definitely sounded agitated.
"Hun!" Czech scolded. "Meri is  right there ," he said, gesturing to the camera, "you can't curse in front of him!"
Hungary ignored her coworker and continued to yell at the door.
"We've been waiting for you for the entire day and if you don't get your ass out here  right now , I'll go in there and haul it out myself."
This time, the door slowly opened, revealing Slovakia, wrapped up in a large blanket.
To say she looked terrible was an understatement. Her hair was sticking out every which way, there were bags under her eyes, dried drool lined her cheeks, and mascara and eyeliner was smeared all over her face.
"Why are you here so early? Did UN schedule an meeting for 7 AM aga-"
"Why are you looking like absolute shit? It's one in the afternoon," Hungary spat, grabbing Czech's hand to look at his watch. "Get your shit together and let's go."
America erupted in giggles, shaking the camera so hard that the phone fell over, and then-
The recording suddenly ends.
"Meri," Slovakia looked up from the phone. "What the fuck."
------
Nothing in life made him happy. It was not a choice for him, but a necessity. If nothing amused him, entertained him, made him so that he enjoyed it, then he wouldn't get attached. He would be prepared for the end, and embrace it with open arms. He would-
The alarm clock blared with an ugly noise, echoing throughout the entire room and interrupting America's monologue. He stayed up all night again, because of course he did. This English paper wasn't going to finish itself, and he definitely needed some time to brood over his past decisions. In fact, he moped more than he actually wrote, and now he got only three paragraphs done - oh no. Now, bullshitting through it was his only option. He frantically opened his document filled with his past notes. America stole a glance at the pages written the day before, and he saw that there was only one. Oh God he was fucked. He stared at the document, trying to decipher the broken English that he typed during the long, boring lecture.
Romeo + Juliet good, at least he got that going.
Paris bad, okay, as in France's understudy in that one play that everybody's buzzing about. He could remember that.
They both die in the end: Romeo finds Juliet sleeping but thinks she's dead and so he kills himself, but Juliet wakes up and dies too by the same blade. Damn, were these even notes? This was a crappy summary of the end of the story, but he could build off of this. Okay, so he could bullshit a few more pages, proofread them to make sure it actually looks presentable, and then turn it in ten minutes before the clock.
America set to typing, typing as fast as he possibly could. Being in a coffee filled rage certainly did help him though, since he practically wrote two pages in like, an hour. Not good for a college sophomore like him, but there were only seven pages left to write. For once in his lazy, unmotivational life, America was not going to slack off and wait. This paper was the deciding grade for the semester, and- ooooh, was that a new update from Russia's Instagram- NO, he had to stay focused. The time whizzed by as he wrote like his life depended on it, because it did. If he didn't turn this dumb paper in, then he couldn't graduate, and then he would never get a job, and then he would be living on the streets- ugh, snap out of it already! He had already become too distracted throughout the night and he had work to finish. He could at least pass with an A, and then he could get an actual job and he would make UK proud, and he would make Canada not embarrassed to go out with him in public anymore, and-
Three hours later, and he had - very slowly - written his paper, skimmed it through, and turned it in, except this time it was nine minutes before the due date. He would probably get a D or something; you never knew with Mr. Williams. He would give you an A for a completely crappy paper, and in the same breath slap a old, hard, F on a paper that you had poured your soul into. Trust him, America knew from experience.
~
Five weeks later, he received his grade for the semester. Opening it, his first analysis of the paper was that his grades, were, at best, not so shabby. As his eyes drifted down from each class, they finally landed on his English grade.
A B+, with a comment that says 'Good work!'  Not so bad for a procrastinating country like him, huh?
challenge: take a shot every time i write "bullshit."
4 notes · View notes
rosyk · 2 months ago
Text
Deja vu
pairing: bang chan x reader, (a bit of han jisung x reader)
genre: heavy angst, passion, romance, one-sided love, bestfriends, long distance relationship
warnings: light curses, death, depression, mentions of alcohol and drugs, family problems, mentions of forced sexual activity, insecurities, anxiety, etc. (Its quite detailed in the first part and could trigger some people in these type and if you are one of them, I advice you not to read. It can really be uncomfortable on the first part)
word count: 11.5k
inspiration: Before We Knew It ch. 36-38 (webtoon), White Flowers- Olivia Rodrigo (unreleased song)
a/n: This is the least fic I loved but I had to continue it to start a new one and i won’t ever write things as long as this (it’s hard) lol. I don’t know who’ll ever read this long and cringey story but I hope it’s worth your time (?)
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1
  If I were to describe a man I’d love to marry someday, it would be someone tall, doesn’t openly show their true feelings towards me, and leads me in life. However, you were the exact opposite of it.
I didn’t even know when and why I fell in love with you. Was it at first sight? No. Was it because someone told me about my indistinguishable feelings for you? No. It was like how love was portrayed in novels and books. I just knew it. Instead of leading my life, you made me, myself, want to lead and search for my future. After you happily talked about your passion for music, you made me feel as if you were the right one. It made me think, “Maybe I do want to be with him until the end of life”. I believe something great would occur and I want to be there when that happens. When the music he produces, raps he created, genres he invented, and when his voice reaches the world, I want to be on his side and be proud I was able to witness all of that. You were everything in times I was the “nothing”.
I truly wished to be a singer right from the start. My dream was unaccepted by my family because the job isn’t as stable as it seems. I had to study medicine since then. Therefore seeing you was like seeing how I could’ve been. I stopped my passion but you made me pursue the unpursued, break off the imaginary limits I had created in my mind. I developed a fear of having to try again. I never sang after years and tried to let go of my past. But you? You lifted me away from the cage of darkness I trapped myself in. My anxiety was too deep to the point I was afraid of people, nightmares, thoughts, happiness, living, being alone, home, and simply just everything.
Even I was scared of myself.
  Then I knew this is the worst a person could be. It isn’t when someone takes drugs, drinks alcohol, or flees away from home. It is when he or she no longer wants to take a step forward. I was frightened by the idea of love but also the idea of being alone. I was terrified to open up when the people closest to me never understood but was scared when I keep everything to myself too much up until I’m tired. I feared death the most, how much more if I was living? I remember cutting myself in bed when I overheard my parents fighting because of my presence. I was shaking, desperately trying to suppress my weeping. Was I sad because I didn’t have good childhood memories I could reminisce? Or was I happy for myself because that was the bravest thing I did? I was too young to understand what I truly felt but I didn’t regret a single thing.
I know the difference between wrong and right but why can’t I tell when it comes to situations that involve me? Is it wrong to think it would’ve been best if I was sleeping forever, in a depth of endless time even though I know I should live for a purpose I couldn’t find or for people who don’t care? But is it also right to live and hope miserably someone out there would find and help me even though it means staying and coping with the pain? Whenever I make a decision, I could hear trapped voices rambling in my head, time ticking as fast as my heartbeat, my soul pressuring me, and my mind that creates negative scenarios which cause me to step back before even having the chance to run. In general, I’ve had to overthink my overthinking.
I also have the habit of blaming myself. As deeper as it goes, it became my lifestyle then. I blamed myself for playing the victim as if I was the only one hurting amidst the world. I blamed myself for crying when I had no right because I gave people terrible occurrences.  I blamed myself for the inability to be brave and commit what I feared the most. I also blamed myself for silently not crying loud enough to the point that my facade turned out stronger.
Looking back, I was a total mess in which I couldn’t even call myself human. My only best friends were the mirror and my own shadow. I was 10 so I appreciated how the mirror felt the same feelings as mine. It doesn’t laugh when I cry even though the creatures surrounding me do. But for the same reason, I hated it. It reflects my despair, how horrible I looked causing me to despise it the most. My shadow on the other hand makes me feel I’m not alone at the end of the day. But I also despised it the moment my mom locked me up in my room, isolating me in darkness to forget all the traumas I had given her. Because even the shadow disappears in my darkest hours. And just like friends, it all just ended. I no longer want to feel love if love was meant to hurt.
  Years of living in hell passed by, until you came.
“You okay?”
  I was crying at the staircase in the nearest tunnel found at school. I was a 16-year-old who tried to break away from my dad’s drunken behavior. Running away was another brave thing I did but it was because the thought of him doing me was scary enough.
It was embarrassing to let you see me like this but surprise was the first reaction I had. No one ever dared to approach me because of my low status and the suspicious silence that I give. Questions filled my head as to why you bothered talking to me. Were the rumors unbelievable enough?
“I am new here but I haven’t seen you a lot in school. Are you the same as I am?”
So he’s a transferee. Honestly speaking, I was discouraged. It’s clear that he would slowly stop approaching me as soon as he knew the rumors. You introduced yourself and asked for my name. I gave you a silent treatment causing you to face my direction. We stared at each other for minutes. You finally gave up and sat beside me as I turned my gaze back at the people playing in the park, sighing heavily.
“Would you like to hear my life?” You look at me, expecting something. I turned back at you, both eyebrows raised. You showed your smile, with those little cute dimples on each side to get away from the awkward atmosphere. Trust me when I tell you that was the brightest thing I’ve ever seen in my whole life. Maybe you did show me the colors I didn’t know I needed in my life.
“Oh… I guess you don’t then? I mean why would you be interested right?” You laughed yourself off but as usual, expected some remarks from me. My eyes panicked as I shook my head quickly from side to side. My eyebrows creased as I bit my lip, hoping you understood what I meant.
“So you do want to hear it?” I shook my head up and down as an approval of your question. Unnoticeably, it was the first time I felt eager especially when it comes to humans.
“Isn’t it annoying though?” I got the hint you wanted to tease me considering your giggles but I was too caught up in assumptions that you wouldn’t continue your storytelling. Thus, I did the same thing, turning my head from side to side, trying to convince you that I desperately want to know what happens in the lives of some.
“Cute” you mumbled to yourself but I was able to hear the word that came out from you. You patted my head casually as you started to talk about your life. I grew slightly embarrassed, curling myself, holding my knees, and acted as if I didn’t hear anything.
You were transparently open in talking to the point that I finally knew what “precious” actually meant. Although it was for a moment I knew it would stop soon, you definitely saved me from all I felt.
There I knew how our lives were exact opposites. If I felt everything, the happiness, and sadness, contrasting feelings I couldn’t comprehend, you on the other hand felt nothing. As soon as your dearest brother got into an accident, you didn’t know what to do. If I had abusive and malicious parents, you had no one to be with. I couldn’t even imagine what would happen If I lived your life.
I knew I was bad for thinking of such a way but I took advantage of your life. It made me feel relieved that there were people who faced the worst monsters than I have inside me. It made me look at the positive side of mines.
Much especially when I didn’t expect it would be you. My first impression of you was this carefree pure guy who had no problems in living his life. Little did I know, you were waking up feeling nothing, smiling with no joy, cries without letting out the pain, and laughs despite the numbness and burden that weighs in your heart. I guess we can’t judge people by the way they appear. We never know how much tears they’ve shed every night.
You summarized and wrapped things up. You asked for my name one last time before leaving. But there I was, hung my head low and sniffles could be heard. You looked in confusion as I tried to cover my face. A surprise was evident in your reaction and it was obvious due to your stuttering. You tried to ask what happened but instead hugged me unconsciously.
That was the first time I’ve ever felt warmth. I was born a mistake so even my parents couldn’t give me this kind of comfort. I cried worse as I had thought of it. The idea of a stranger giving me a better meaning of how home felt like than a family does, who wouldn’t tear up after that?
I don’t want to be ahead of time. But hope filled my mind. Maybe I could find more people like him. Maybe someone out there could notice my emotions. Maybe someone could act as my light. Maybe someone does care about my wellbeing. Out of a huge percentage of people living on Earth, there should be one who could at least meet and save me right? I know I settled in all “maybes” but it was much better than having none.
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2
  Recalling the series of events, I was a total problem. Yet you were always there for me no matter how heavy of a burden I am. You were the one who believed in me when I couldn’t, picked me up when I was drowning in a wave of traumas and worries, and lightened my deep void. You were my first and swore you’ll be my last, who broke my past and created my unknown beginning. I hated risks but whenever you are involved, I for sure know it is worth it no matter how many needles it may pain me. It had been years before noticing how much you mean to me I may be late, but would never get tired of this. I will listen and enjoy our memories until the end. You will, for eternal love, be my last song in my only playlist.
Although it’s true we never believed in love since the beginning. But all we do know is that we’d like to spend our whole lives together. It’s as if we were bound by the heavens to meet and help one another. With all that’s happening, I would like to assume that this is love people were talking about. Who knew it could be this powerful to change someone?
  [CHAN’S POV]
  And what happened to the “messy innocent girl who was stained by reality?” She became an unrecognizable teen, as pure as ever. In the past, I wasn’t able to feel the emotions most do but look at me now, smiling every time I see you do. Even though I’ve never felt heavy feelings, these light ones are taking a toll on me whenever you call my name.
We had arguments but never had any misunderstandings. This is all because no matter what I say, you are always by my side. I could tell you day by day how much you mean the world to me, my downfalls, and everything unnecessary but you’d still listen to it with no regrets.
Right now, we’re meeting up for a “little date” as you mentioned. I was going to decline because there had been many requirements in class but you seemed too interested that I didn’t want to break it to you.
I was wearing my usual hoodie sweater with baggy pants and ordered for both of us. After all, you would always choose chocolate whipped shakes over anything. You seemed to take too long so I decided to work on some demands given. I turned on my laptop and opened the application as I placed the headphones on my ear, silencing the noise in my surroundings.
Now all I can hear is my heartbeat pounding and swallowing as my throat started to dry. The loading symbol appeared on my screen and I hoped it would stay like that forever. I hoped it would crash and tried to find more excuses for me not to use it.
I was consistently looking at the time shown on the panel below the main screen. The blue circular sign still turns and turns as I see it from my peripheral vision. 3:31, 3:32, 3:33, the minutes kept moving and hands that are now shaking because I assumed this would be the worst nightmare that could happen. But no, cause “worst nightmare” is an understatement when we are referring to this. It would’ve been better as a nightmare because I could wake up from this traumatic moment. I was focused on my screen that I hadn’t noticed the calling in my front.
“Channie?... Chris?.... Christopher?... Mr.Bang Chan?.. Chan!”
  [Y/N’S POV]
  He finally noticed me as soon as I tapped on his shoulders. He flinched and looked at me in horror. It creeped me out but it took seconds before he could pull his eyes away from mine. He bit his lips and I noticed him covering his hands. The staff called out a number which I believe was from our table considering the way he closed his laptop.
“I’m getting that” You forced a little smile as you made way to the counter
I smiled at the thought of our “date” but seeing you sweating and nervously fidgeting your fingers to avoid them from shaking bothers me. Did something happen before you came? Why was he that nervous? Thoughts bombarded my mind, but you coming back with my favorite drink and snacks, looking all-smiley, tells me as if you noticed my discomfort so you tried cheering me up. You sat down in front of me and got rid of your problems. As usual, this guy notices even the littlest gestures I make.
“Did you wait too long?” I asked you with enthusiasm because our little date has now started. The idea non-stop makes my whole day
“No, I just arrived before you did.” You respond with a genuine smile despite the clear lie you just gave. You stroked my hair as you looked at me lovingly
“Oh, I just passed by that bakery we talked about a year ago…..” I started chatting about our fond memories that remain vivid in my head.
It took several hours of talking and enjoying our time together. We also watched that Philippine movie starring two exes who broke up and lived in one house, but being an emotional wreck, it took 30 mins of you trying to comfort me as I cry ugly. Of course, you didn’t miss an opportunity to laugh at me and even took a video. Teasing me and showing my picture as your wallpaper, made me playfully angry.
We also enjoyed visiting the same tunnel where we met. The nostalgia is present. The moon is shining and I can’t help but smile looking at you.
  [CHANS POV]
  You look beautiful under the moon if I must say. I wanted to show the magnificent view because it reminds me of you whenever I see it up above. You were my only light when my days in the past were too dark.
We continued strolling around, counting the streetlights that passed by and talked about a lot of things. Until you decided to speak up-
“About…. the thing that happened earlier?” You looked up to me, but your eyes soon started moving away from mines. You were held on with the anxiety of trying to speak up whenever it had come to my personal life. I don’t know whether it was the trauma you’ve stumbled upon when you asked about my father or it’s just due to your manners. Nonetheless, if it was indeed your trauma, I’ve felt guilty about it and wanted to reassure you I won’t hurt you ever again. “But if you don’t want to talk about it-“ I cut your sentence off.
“My father was a musician..” your eyes shined with glee in my response
“That’s cool!” You exclaimed but it soon faded into a frown after hearing me sigh. Tilting your head, you tried to calculate everything that’s wrong with it. I nervously fidgeted with my hands and knuckles, contemplating a decision that could change and even affect both of us.
“Everything’s wrong... He was into it, music took his mindset and life” I faced my head sideways and gulped without looking at your eye. The trauma, I’m finally telling my pent-up feelings after a lifetime keeping it to myself.
“He was so into composing music and started to forget about the reason he had started to do it. And by that-“ you cut off my sentence and started to nod a few times, pressing your lips together. You pointed your shaky finger at me and spoke softly.
“I think I know where this is going.” You looked at me in disbelief but all I could do is look at you with concern and guilt, asking for forgiveness. “Is this why you didn’t want to love again even after all these years?” Your eyes that shined stars a moment ago, turned into sun at night. It wasn’t raging darkness, but plain agony.
“Can you blame me? I know I love music, I’ve told you that on repeat for years. Is love what I need when that was the cause of everything?”
You didn’t take one glance at me and started walking faster. You were trying to leave me behind but I was quick to grab your hand.
“Please, let’s not act like this. It’s starting to get..” I was trying to think of a less harsh word because things get complicated day by day. And here I thought this date would be an exception. “Childish. Okay? I don’t get why you’re so out of place and it’s like-“
“So now I’m the one getting childish here?” You turned around and faced me, finally. Though it wasn’t any relieving as I expected. You were having tears stuck in your eyes, ready to fall at anytime yet you don’t want to cry in front of me. Are we going to keep this up? I was about to talk but no words came out of me. Until you decided to continue your sentence.
“You knew about this all the time, right? You knew how I was starting to fall for you and yet you continued our relationship without feeling love?” You bit your lips as your eyebrows creased. Trying to push me away, but all I could do was hold you tighter. “I know how trauma feels like. I’ve been there, we’ve been there. But you could’ve told me sooner at least so I’m not the only one looking like a whole fucking fool here, Christopher.” You tried to get away from my hold and yes, you did. Though as I tried to grab your hand once again, you took a step backward and placed your hands up in the air as a sign of surrender. “Call me sensitive but for God’s sake! How could you get me all wrapped up in your finger for the past years and call it something that isn’t attachment nor love? What was I to you then?” It took seconds for me to get the gist of what you’re trying to say and I did understand but I couldn’t answer that simple question.
Because now that I think of it, was I awful to hesitate who you were in my life? Was those years nothing for me then? I want to protect you until the end and I wanted to see you happy but I’m pretty sure I felt this for some of my friends as well. Did I just get into a relationship whilst thinking of my significant other as a friend? Is it called using someone? Taking advantage to make my life better? I know what’s right and what’s wrong. But I don’t know which is which. Getting into a relationship is a risky choice and I don’t want to hurt anybody in between. Because I know that’s what’s wrong. Using others for my need of affection and love is wrong as well. But is this exactly what I’m doing? I don’t know...As things grow, it just gets complicated to the point that I couldn’t even comprehend situations.
“I thought so” you continued, and those words crushed my heart. I didn’t notice the time we’ve been arguing, though technically it’s just you who was able to speak, that we’ve already reached your house. You opened the tiny gate in front of your house and I know what’s going to happen sooner later.
“Maybe, you need time to think about it alright? I don’t think I can keep up with a relationship like this if it’s too one-sided. But don’t worry I’ll wait. Even though what I want may not come,” you chuckled but the sigh was still evident. “I’ll wait for you.” You smiled, but it isn’t the one you’ve always shown me. I was the reason for your happiness but also the reason for your pain. How tragic must have been that sound.
You went your way to the door and closed it. I knew you were crying as I heard little sniffles but never looked my way. Closing the door, that was the last time I had ever seen you. With no goodbye kisses and hugs, you left feeling the ache you didn’t deserve.
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[YOUR POV]
  It was supposed to be “taking a break”, but considering this, I should’ve accepted it as a break-up. You never took time texting me after the whole 4 months. I guess I was no one in your life. But even though I was still hurt, I regretted spatting out things as if it was your fault. You always get guilty over things and I know it was all just because you had a hard time reciprocating your feelings because of the lack of love you’ve felt. I should’ve understood that part but being the sensitive me, I was unmindful. I’ve also never seen you walk past the corridors nowadays, so it’s basically been also the same 4 months of actually not seeing you as well. You really bothered trying to get out of my life.
I groaned as I sat up in the bed. It was around 8:30 and I’m like 1 hour and 30 mins late? Not that I’m bothered by it since I’ve gotten used to it. It’s not like our teacher is there by the time I arrive.
  -SCHOOL-
  “Outside, now” was the first and last thing I’ve heard as I entered my classroom. And here I thought the teacher wasn’t present. Not only did I embarrass myself in front of my classmates, but I’d also have to stand holding a chair, outside the classroom for lower and higher-ups students to see. Awful, and my reputation is broken. Well, not that I had any significant reputation in the first place but come on, you know how hard it was to see students bickering while looking at you.
I heard the door click open and I hoped it was the teacher who finally would let me in. It turned out to be another classmate of mines which I thought was unnecessary. But as I looked back up and noticed his eyes, a sense of familiarity came unto me.
“Han?” My eyes widened at the sight in front of me. I’m not expecting people to be perfect but our class president was the last person I expected to be scolded by our teacher. “Weren’t you inside the classroom way before me?”
“I cursed.” The guy spoke shortly and lifted the chair just like the same punishment I’ve been doing. I blinked my eyes twice but understood nothing.
“Pardon?” I replied in a high tone as if I was questioning what he was trying to say. Cursed? Is he out of his mind, trying to curse in front of the teacher? Besides, he had always been this quiet kid, but girls still tend to simp over. The latter though is out of my knowledge.
“What did you say?” I leaned in as you jolted quite a bit. Reacting to the sudden flinch, I assumed it was bold of me to do so and it scared you. But looking straight at you, pink tints were found on the side of the cheeks. It was light and definitely cute.
“F-fuck” he faced me with eyebrows creased and hesitated in replying. It was so short and awkward whenever he’d say it or maybe it’s also due to his stuttering. The thought was so out of the place and even I, who is quite free doesn’t curse in front of the teacher for no reason so why would someone who tries to stay low, would curse? But the way you told me the “forbidden” word made me laugh out loud.
“You’re funny, Mr. class president” I replied after a silent 2 minutes and laughed while hitting him lightly. Little amounts of liquids were falling down my deep brown eyes as I tried to regain my breathing. He’s awkward and that’s what makes it funny. I like him.
I wiped off my tears and stared at you. My laughs slowly died down after seeing your confusing expression. I don’t know whether your eyes held a safe haven or a place I was indulged in and forgot about the point that everything was complicated in between. Whether staring at you was comfortable or confusing. All I know is that I was distracted by the genuine smile you gave. It was little but I knew it was a smile after seeing cute dimples on the side of your lips. Now that I think of it, I haven’t ever seen the president smile.
You noticed my pause and coughed, trying to clear out the tension. The usual demeanor was back. Was everything just an illusion then?
“Anyways, I don’t know about you but I’m gonna have to go. Don’t want stay here standing when time’s already up” you lazily said as you pressed your lips together, leaving me speechless all alone. Raising your hand, you waved back at me while walking away and didn’t even take time to look back.
That was weird. Or was I the only one weird? True, I’ve never seen him around that much but I’ve painted the guy as someone responsible considering the works he finished even after given such a small time. He was indeed open-minded but wasn’t out-spoken or friendly. Work is work and he has to make sure he aces his tests for his reputation to not tarnish even one bit, that’s all that matters to him. He was never used to smiling so he doesn’t do it as much, at least that’s what I’ve heard. I’m guessing it must be my imagination.
  /LUNCHTIME/
  Guess what? It’s already lunchtime and I haven’t learned a single bit of information from my teacher’s discussion. Shrugging all my homework, projects, quizzes, oral recitations, and performances that are all due this afternoon, I walked out of the classroom.
But before I did so, I found a familiar guy in my peripheral vision. Trying to confirm whether it was him, I turned and called his name out.
“Mr. president?”
The same awkward and serious guy turned around, raising his right brow. You were confused at first about who would call you with no respect, but hummed in surprise as a response.
“It’s Han for you... and for everyone” trying to continue the work you’ve been doing for our school camp which is totally several months later. What’s the rush?
“Drop the formalities! Besides, I like Mr. president way better.” I smiled and tilted my head then flipped my hair. I was a whole smug for thinking my naming sense was the best thing about me.
“Like, like?”
The same vibe always comes up whenever I’m talking to you and I don’t know why. How is it so hard to interact with smart ones? I feel like their language is different and I couldn’t even comprehend what this guy is trying to say.
“like?”
“You like mr. president. That’s what you said”
And that’s how it struck me. Looking back on everything, it seems pretty weird. (I like Mr. President way better) rings all throughout my head. I know he’s been surrounded by girls who have a crush on him but surely he doesn’t think of this as a low-key confession, right?
Please, I didn’t deserve any of this awkward tension. I did walk up to him first but blame my curiosity for wondering what he’s doing in his free time, does he always go to the library whenever, or what do the lifestyle elites like him actually have? Maybe, I did just want a friend but who knew it would be this complicated. Wrong choice.
“The names you provide for people are so dull” you faked a yawn to show how uninterested you are.
I laughed out and tried to hide the embarrassment I’ve felt inside. He meant the name of course! What was I thinking? He quickly got up and proceeded to leave the classroom as if he understood what I wanted to do. He catches up with things fast if I must say. But the feeling didn’t subside in me and I tried to cover up my face with my hands as soon as he left. Heaving a deep sigh, I reassured myself and followed him.
  -CAFETERIA-
  “This is all they’ve got?”
It’s been a second we’ve entered the school cafeteria and yet this elite beside me was already complaining. We sat down on the white benches and I was also relieved the cafeteria doesn’t have many students since our class ended earlier than the desired time.
“You’ll get used to it. Besides, what do you commonly eat for lunch? This is good.” I replied and waited for a response that never came back. I’m thinking it was a wall I’m talking to. You ate the soup and showed a face of disgust. Of course, I don’t give up.
“Do you have different cafeterias?” “Or do you eat in your respective rooms?” “Do you actually eat? cause you looked really busy with the requirements.” “Being a class president is that hard huh? I don’t think I’ve seen anyone as hard-working as you even if they have high titles.” “You know if I was the class-“
“Why do you ask so many questions? Geez” you swept your hair and sighed. You felt tired talking to someone as chatty as me but all I could do is playfully pout and raise both my eyebrows up. Shrugging, I respond.
“Why not?”
You glared at me but I wasn’t taken aback by it so you decided to reply, finally. “The real question is, why?” you tried to peacefully eat and finished it quickly so you could go to the library, I suppose. It was going smoothly until my small brain with low grammar or structure skills decided to pop up the least moment I wanted it to.
  “Because I’m interested in you.”
  Choking was all I could hear after I simply stated. Panicking, I gave you my water unknowingly and you drank it. I patted your back and stroked it gently.
“You okay?” I tried to calm you down but your face seemed to ask me whether you were okay even after everything was obvious.
“You mean you’d like to know about my lifestyle?” You analyzed my reaction as I tilted my head. I mean isn’t that clear? Your eyes seemed like you got the hang of me again and scoffed, rolling your eyes. Wow! Now, what’s up with this attitude?
“It’s common. Just some random New York steak.” My eyes widened and my ears couldn’t believe what they’re hearing. That’s common? Gosh, even my monthly allowance couldn’t afford to buy a whole steak, what more if it was specifically in New York? And the way he didn’t bother to flex about his lunchtime food and acts as if it’s unimportant.
“Enough about me, how about you?” I believe you were trying to ask for the sake of the conversation but it excites me anyway. I mean, an elite asking me about my life? It boosts my pride, internally laughing as I thought of the idea.
“What do you want to know about me?” Grinning, I eagerly waited for the question. How blessed I am to have an upper-class student to not just interact, but ask about me as well.
“What happened between you and Bang Chan?”
I’m taking it all back. I don’t want to hear any questions. I was wrong. By Bang Chan, I knew straight away he was referring to Chris. The mentioned ex became an elite, or so I heard. I don’t know how, why, or when but that’s the only reason possible for him to know there was a thing between us. But unlike me, Mr. President wants to make sure of everything and not just the rumors he had heard.
“No.” I simply stated and continued to eat.
“Why not?”
“I should be the one asking you why”
“Because I’m interested in you”
I paused and was slightly surprised by the sudden declaration. Okay, my way of telling him made me look crazy. I looked up to him and saw a pair of teasing eyes. This is who mr. president is? Now it was my time to roll my eyes and I knew at that moment I had no escape.
“Exes. We’re exes.” I expected a startled expression from you but your lips curled downwards as if you expected it. How was it hard to read this guy’s mind though he immediately catches up on everything I’m feeling?
Days passed by and as usual, I was the one annoying you. At that very time, we became close because I knew you were a comfortable place for me to be in. You don’t judge unlike what others do each time I open up my problems especially when it comes to my relationship with an elite and Christopher, out of all. For sure, you were the right choice of friend I never knew I needed to rely on.
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[YOUR JOURNAL]
  Just a few days passed by and I hear lots of students whispering. What’s the occasion? I don’t even know myself yet I’ve brought a ring that matches mine. I’m naive but I always trust my instincts no matter what. As I try to recall the date and puts everything together in one piece from all the clues I’ve gotten.
A familiar man appeared in my sight. But he wasn’t mr. president. He was looking at me and I continued to look at those deep brown eyes I’ve longed to see after a long time. Was I prepared? No. Did I want to see him? I’m not sure so myself. But did I actually like that view? Indeed. My very first heartbreak or hiatus came back after months and to see he felt the same way I did. Did the moment I waited for all of my life would finally happen?
Each step you take, the more my anxiety rushes through me. I felt the shivers either because I was scared or it was the tears I’ve forced to stop from rolling down my cheeks. Or simply both, ignoring the fact that I was hurt yet I did want to see you after all. I wanted to walk away, but if I did then I’m making the same mistake twice. Therefore I stood still silent and only my heartbeat is the loudest out of all.
Closing my eyes, I expected strong grips around my wrist which marks it deep red because anger was the only thing present in the space between us. I didn’t take consideration of the things you’ve gone through but instead became selfish just because I’ve moved on from the past. I did tell you I would wait for you forever but all I gave you was the pressure of making you choose decisions at times you were having a hard time. Just because you made me learn the definition of love, doesn’t mean I could anticipate that you felt the same thing.
Quite on the contrary, I’ve felt warmth and comfort. The grip was truly strong, strong enough to hurt me emotionally and not physically unlike what I expected. The grip I’ve felt was hanging around me, a hug was given to me even when I didn’t deserve this.
“I’m sorry” that was what I’ve heard in the muffled and low volume of voice the man had spoken because he was on the verge of tears. I was supposed to be the one asking for an apology, yet this guy took it to heart once again. Typical Christopher.
“I missed you. I’ve realized I can’t do things without you. It’s been hard..” Your sentence cut the uncertainty I’ve felt. It came, he came. I cried my heart out after not breathing for a second. It would finally work out, after months of trying to ask for support from other people, you entered my life once again. And better? You loved me.
It was your graduation, and I’m glad to be there just like what we dreamed it to be. You may have left, but our romance never stopped.
Cliché right? Of course, that never happens in reality. What happens, is the point that we argue every day because of the long-distance relationship that serves as an obstacle in us. We don’t even know whose mistake it is but considering you, you’ve always been the one who let your pride down and ask for forgiveness. There are times it’s also been me because I realized that this guy doesn’t deserve more burdens in his life. Support is everything I could give.
“Everything working out?” I was astounded by the call Hanji decided to initiate first. He’s always been there for me when I had it rough. He cares for me though he doesn’t show it as much.
“I don’t know. I’ve rarely been receiving texts but he made sure to call me anytime soon. We’ve both been fighting against this. Thanks by the way” You sighed after I finished my sentence. I hoped my exhaustion wasn’t able to reach you but you knew straight away.
“What do you see in him? He is talented and ideal but do you think you both match up?“
It was good he called but hitting it directly at me and doubts our relationship? That’s what triggered and ticked me off. “I told you not to talk about this.” I firmly uttered.
“He doesn’t get the way you act, talk or even feel”
“I’m sorry? What do you mean by that?” It’s rare to see us quarrel because you didn’t want to reach that point and yet it’s you trying to get all complicated once again. Here I thought I got the hang of how you think. “He understands me more than anyone.”
“If he does then why didn’t he call by then?”
“He was busy. I repeated that to you more than thrice throughout the whole call. But if he wasn’t busy then he’d take a grasp of everything.”
“Was he? Because the last time I knew you had a rough day, crying all alone, he didn’t. The time I knew I had to cheer you up, he didn’t. The time I knew I needed to reassure you that no one’s ever going to leave you but stay by your side, even though you didn’t realize about it, he didn’t.”
3 seconds passed by before my voice was heard in the line.
“What does that have to do with all these?”
“I understand you but the guy you wanted to be with, doesn’t”
That was it, the final blow. Both were concerning, the whole sentence is. Starting from the conclusion you understood me up until the thought of me wanting a guy who doesn’t pick me up the way I assume couples needed. We had a relationship with Chris, but was it called a relationship with lots of things in between?
“I’m sorry. Slipped out. I was just irritated.” It was a first for you to apologize but my mind wandered to the part where you compared yourself to Christopher.
“What do you mean by you understanding me when he doesn’t?”
“I mean... If I did understand you, then I’m pretty sure a lot more boys out there would be a better match and would recognize your desire. They would be able to take care of you. You know I’m just.. worried.”
If it was the usual vibe, I would’ve laughed at that lame excuse. But thinking back, it’s hard for me to perceive the way you feel about me. I’ve heard rumors but ended up being nonchalant about it because mr. president having feelings? I chose to believe it wasn’t real especially when I’m already facing a hard time.
“good night.” You continued after the short silence. It was now you who was starting to get exhausted. You cut off the line quickly before I could even reply. Was the relationship between me and Chris wasn’t able to follow up fate? How innocent of me to think that true love comes so easily.
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5
  Days turned to months and I lost count of the weeks Chris has been gone by my side. He had never failed to text compared in the past, but I still yearned for his affection.
He seemed excited on the phone today and unknowingly called me 5 times and now a 6-
“Christopher, aren’t you busy?” I giggled as I heard him laugh. It made my day and filled up the void in me that was created because of the thought he isn’t able to be with me on my graduation day.
“I have duties... as your boyfriend” I playfully rolled my eyes without expecting a turn of events.
It was my final day in school and to think that I have to spend it alone because I had no friends, awful. Chris made my day though, so I wanted to enjoy it to the fullest. But the feeling of not seeing Hanji anymore still lingered in my mind. It was harsh but I had to accept it. We didn’t talk that much but undoubtedly, he was a good friend in times I need him.
Whilst looking around the stalls in the halls, I found him. He was talking to a guy seemingly the same age as ours and he looked so happy. But as his eyes met mines, was it just me, or did it die down? Maybe he doesn’t want to see me after all? His eyes traveled back to the sushi he ordered but sighed as I ran up to him.
“Mr. president?” The happy and annoying tone of calling him wasn’t present anymore. It was gloomy, hesitating if I should bother his hours or time. “Did I do something?”  What happened to our closure? it flees away.
I saw you in the process of trying to smile a little and just hummed to let me know nothing’s wrong. But everything is. You ignored me and walked up to the classroom. I followed you, as I always do. I decided to speak up but you cut me off.
“I’m sorry if I did-“
  “Are you still interested in me?”
  You turned around and confronted my small figure. It hurts the way you try to smile in front of me but failed to do so. Usually, you always made me believe what you wanted me to. You’d say you’re fine, you’re happy, you’re not exhausted, but right now? I’m not buying it. I may not be able to read you that much, but you seemed too tired to the point that your magic of convincing me didn’t work.
“Interested..?”
“You said you were interested in how elite ones live. Now that you got the answer and your boyfriend is one, what am I there for?”
“You were there for me-“
  “when he couldn’t be there”
  You were being on and off, getting more complicated as time passes by. You don’t go straight to the point but instead, run circles until I have a hard time contemplating whether I’m the wrong one.
“What are you trying to imply?” I questioned
“I don’t need a quote that says don’t expect something in return”
“Return? After everything, we’ve been through? Our friendship? Was it all just nothing? How doesn’t that benefit you?”
“Because the more I give you your need, why do I have to receive pain instead?” Your voice was shaky and I can see you biting your lip, trying to suppress yourself from falling and breaking. “You wanted to know me because you were curious about my life. Now that you know of it, what do you want from me?”
“What do you mean what do I want? I want nothing from you. The bond that we’re tied in is enough for “
“Then who am I to you?”
“I told you, a friend.”
“My purpose in your life?”
“Lifting me up whenever I feel....down”
“So did you recognize how that sound like to you?”
Among both of us, I broke down first. Why am I being the one treated like the villain in this story taking advantage of people around me? Why am I the perceived the evil being in our friendship? Why does he want to make me feel guilty? I didn’t even know what the problem is yet, but I was already the bad one here. Call me clueless, but I couldn’t be blamed for something I don’t even know about. Quiet sobs filled in the silence and I could feel your sympathy filling the empty room.
“If ever..” in a low volume, you decided to speak “Why do you want to spend more time with me?” I looked up to you and wiped away all my tears if that’s possible.
A reason, that’s all I need to prove but no suggestions came up to my mind. Recollecting tragedies, was I the one who didn’t bother calling you when you didn’t do the same to me? Why didn’t I? You didn’t even pass my mind one single time in the past days. So why didn’t that happen? I appreciated him but when did things gradually just..stop?
Tears fell down yours as well but you didn’t want me to look at you in the eye. “You were supposed to say for more memories, you know? Like because I actually made you happy so you wanted me to appreciate our moments. Believe it or not, that’s what they say” you laughed to lift the air but I was still left dumbfounded after everything. How terrible of me, that thought echoes repeatedly.
Hours passed by and I wasn’t feeling it. The sun turned gloomy, the loud cheer of students turned to noise, the sky turned monochrome and the atmosphere turned dull. All I could do was ask Chris regarding it. All he could say is that he appreciated how Hanji backed off and didn’t want to complicate things more by telling me. Understanding none of it, what does he mean by didn’t want to complicate things more when our quarrel was? Wow, I really am this hopeless. Slow and unaware.
I was lost in thought that I late realized how I could hear vehicles in Chris as he was on call. Was he lying then? He mentioned he was staying in but why are there noises and people chattering? I was baffled hearing one of the familiar voices behind. One seemed to be the same as my classmate.
“Where are you? I thought you said you were in your home?”
  “I am home.”
  Clichè as it seemed, It all felt like a slow-motion in a fast-paced sequence of events. Firstly you were just talking to me but at the next second, you were personally doing it.
Holding your phone, I finally found the guy I’ve seen and lost on the same day in the past. But now? He’s here. Promising me that he won’t leave ever again. I knew I could trust these words no matter how repetitive they're going to be. Once you tell me it, I just know you’d be by my side no matter what until the end of the world.
You were looking the same as I remembered in the past and it’s played out like deja vu. You walking up to me and giving me a whole hug of comfort, as I cried in your arms.
“How about your-“
“I don’t want you to worry about it. I’ve chosen myself, with no additional pressure, to live with you.” You stroked my hair and patted my back.
“Live with me?”
“Don’t you want to?” I was delighted and surprised by the sudden decision. I wasn’t given enough time to think about it, not that I needed time anyway. I would always choose you over anything else.
It was the event and yes, I graduated with my boyfriend cheering me on and allowed me to soar high and fly, to start a new beginning.
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[HAN POV]
  It was good seeing you happy. Even if it was Bang Chan, I’m sure he is the only man that can make you smile like that.
But indeed, I was hurt. I was a book you wanted to read but as soon as you got ahold of the main idea, everything starts to get boring. Usually, you would never fail to not make me annoyed each day because as you always say, I cross your mind every time. When you were indulged in your relationship, I was forgotten.
It was all my mistake and you don’t have to feel guilty about it. I may not have any expectations of you loving me, but I had hopes and that’s what made me receive pain. If I hadn’t hoped you would be with me, hoping you forgot about him, hoped you could see I am just here waiting, hoped you could realize I can treat you better, then both of us wouldn’t get hurt. It’s my fault and I’m held accountable to live in regrets.
But even for a split second, I am happy that I am capable of distracting your worries and making your day better. I wasn’t thinking well in the argument a while ago but I did get the benefit. Seeing you happy, makes me happy. So letting you go is the best choice for both of us to receive joy. Scratch that, I don’t have the right to tell you I would let you go.
  Because I never stood a chance did I?
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[YOUR JOURNAL]
  After graduating, I moved in with Christopher. He let me listen to some of the tracks he had created to stop me from bothering him all day.
The music he had composed was nothing personal and was based on people from different perspectives. I had never felt the same experience as well but something about the way he writes and produces brought me to tears. The pain and emptiness inside were well shown in the midst of harmonies. He was also a genius writer with well-structured sentences and livens up feelings in the words to make the listener feel as if he or she was the one narrating it. His father is a musician, but to think he would be able to express that much in songs just shows how deeply connected he is with music. He wasn’t motivated because he tries to stop himself from being like his father but it was a pity for him to stop something he is incredibly good at.
“You’re really something Christopher! Do you know that?” I hugged him from behind and heard his little laughs. “I think I’ve fallen for you all over again. But honestly, I knew you’d write and produce this good” I wore on a smug look as he asked while giggling because of the face I’m giving.
“How?”
“How about calling it an intuition from an expert music lover?” You playfully rolled your eyes in my response because you expected something more detailed. You urged me to explain it to you so you’d knew my opinion about the music and so I did.
“Your words are beautiful that it makes me believe anything you’ll say, Christopher” I smiled and kissed your cheek. I rested my head near your neck as we were sat on the bed, facing each other.
It was true. You made me feel different feelings and opened up a new perspective to move on from my past. You influenced me a variety of changing thoughts. I don’t like the idea of losing myself to someone because it forgets the real me. I don’t like the concept of being crazy in love with people because it doesn’t feel sweet somehow whenever the risk of it being one-sided and unable to move on is present. Not realizing that whenever the talk comes about you, it feels heavenly. I don’t know who I would be if I wasn’t yours but it all feels enchanting. Although you made me insecure, at the same time you made me laugh throughout the day. You were a gold rush. Perfect and gentle, to think that someone like me got you is like winning once in my entire life. Luck is rare but fate was there. By fate, it turned out you were destined to meet me and get me out of the hell hole, no one tried to do. By fate, it means I will love you and will forever do. By fate, we’ll stand strong and fight the cracks alongside our journey.
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8
[CHRIS POV]
  You wouldn’t take a no for an answer when I was asked to create more songs. A single shed of tear from listening to my music encouraged you to push more song requests unto me. Make-me-a-song was all I could remember hearing from you.
I remember you publishing one of my songs and I was accepted by it. You were jumping up and down as I was worried about its outcome. I was starting to get known, that was also the beginning of how the unforgivable musician started to forget about the important ones in his life. It was as if the result would be dragging my only light into my darkness. I don’t want to be a musician and yet, here I am composing more songs even if I knew what was coming soon.
I’ve started with light romance that I think you’ll enjoy but seeing you look so happy with just a simple work of mine, gave me that motivation I least wanted to have. And like a recorded cd, everything was played the exact same way in different men. I hated it but it was truly like father, like son.
I continued to write songs with deeper ones but as I got the recognition all the more, I produced as if I was possessed. I was indulged in the way words can be conveyed differently and ideas, stories, and theories were constantly overflowing my mind. I was wrapped up in music and I hated myself for it. Even though I despised the process, I couldn’t help but continuously write. All of my pent-up feelings in the past years were expressed in my songs, making me create heavy tracks and don’t run out of stories to tell. The man I’ve been hiding and was traumatized from came back and it’s as if he mocks me that we are on the same page after all. I felt myself sinking and sinking despite you telling me that I am not like my father because I made you feel the definition of love. I was trapped in a room with no escape that relates whenever I had started making music, I couldn’t get out of it. I wasn’t forced but this drive is what makes me continue because I feel like I’m creating a new genre that makes people deeply appreciate and maybe understand what I’ve been going through.
4 years came by but it felt like days in my studio.
“Chris, are you sure you’re fine? Get enough rest okay?” the young girl called me but I was busy finalizing the song.
“Yes, thank you,” I replied shortly after your question. I wasn’t paying much attention so I didn’t know the accurate response for it.
“Anyways, what’s that ab-“
“I’m working on music that’s going to be showcased and submitted to the famous JYP company later. It is really important so I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t distract me by asking so many questions. Come by later, we’ll talk about it then.” I looked at my watch on my right arm and noticed how I still got a few hours left before attending the ceremony. The albums will be released soon after but I have to submit another title track.
I was busy with all the scheduled dates and songs that I hadn’t realized
  she wasn’t smiling anymore.
  “Mr. Bang Chan?” hours came by and truly the CEO came. We have a friendly bond and he gives me advice so it’s casual for him to call on me. I hurried up to the door and went to the car.
“Why didn’t you invite her to the big event?” The CEO of the company asked me to start up a conversation. He crossed his hands and tapped his fingers as if he thought of something so deep and significant because he was getting impatient.
“It’s a big hassle. She isn’t good and comfortable in interacting with people she doesn’t know” I simply stated and smiled for respect.
“I don’t interfere or meddle in the personal affairs or lives of others but I hope you aren’t neglecting her because of this, are you?”
“She will understand” I looked up to the car window and stared at the illuminating lights from buildings. I know you took a lot of time waiting for me, but please don’t give up and let me finish this song about you. By then, our Disney-like dreams would finally come true and I swear I’ll make you even happier.
  I held a box of ring in my pocket. I’ll make you happy, just hang a bit in there okay?
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9
[YOUR POV]
  The CEO told me about the new album he’s been working on. It was about his first love. It would be no other than me, right?
I went up to his room and read the paper scattered alongside his desk. There were lots but I decided to read the one that I assumed was already done. It was near the porch and I understood how he wanted to compose in front of the moon.
  The moon shone brightly that night
 but I realized that wasn’t my source of light
You look lovely
as the smiles you beamed lasted an eternity
I was persuaded and lost in thought
unknowingly, my heart was caught
Because even under the moon, you’ve shone the brightest
and cleared my problems at most
Even under where light lies,
 I was indulged deep in your eyes
Even when it illuminates through the void,
a different view is what I’ve enjoyed
Because even if their minds were fixated on the scene,
looking at you felt more serene
  I stopped reading the paper and placed it back on the desk.
  “That can’t be me..” I thought.
  Starting from the mentioned smiles, how could that be me? You stated you enjoyed looking at me, but I felt like I was invisible whenever you compose songs. Did you make songs while thinking of me? I don’t think so. You should’ve known that you were dragging me along with your darkest nights. I wasn’t even your light anymore, it died down. I was overshadowed by your passion or the one you’re talking about in this script. Can I still make you happy? No. Am I still happy? No. The whole lyrics proves how you didn’t even take a single glance at me right now. Because if you did care, you would've known I changed because you did. I changed because the person I was relying upon, didn’t find motivation in me. We started together but it lost while it progresses just like how you started music because of me but lost my figure in your sight along the way. It was reality, I was being forgotten. When I was alone crying, where were you? I know you don’t understand me quite well but I was the whole climate. I changed for seasons unlike in the past where it was mild swings. Because you know what hurts the most? Not the fact that I waited and kept waiting as I am already used to that and no matter how many years it may take, I’ll always wait for you. But it’s all because everything went back. You picked me up from the trauma and showed how love is but it’s as if my past resurfaced from the waters and told me how tragedies would always stay the same. That I would always end up this way no matter who I’m faced to. I felt guilty for slightly regretting that I praised your songs. Indeed you were meant to be connected with music and it’s your passion. I’m happy that I was able to show it to you but wouldn’t these happen if I didn’t start it all? I was wrong. I thought it made you happy but no. None of these made us happy. Your pieces of music weren’t to blame, I shouldn’t be blamed and neither were you. Where did everything go wrong? I don’t know, it just started to fall off. These lyrics were deeply engraved in my mind. You seemed so in love when I wasn’t able to show you what love is. If it was a person, she must’ve been so kind and understanding. She must’ve been someone who understood your secrets and feelings. And me? I couldn’t still get to you. I’m confused about what’s best for you or what you wanted all along. I don’t recognize the woman you’re writing about. Either it was the past me or someone new. Chris,
  who is it that you’re in love with?
  Cold air rushed through my skin as I closed my eyes and inhaled the scent of calm air. It wasn’t possible but it was enough to make me feel calm. I still appreciated our moments but I feel like I can’t wait anymore, Chris. It’s not because I’m tired but because I feel like you’ll be better without me. I hate the idea of me regretting I showed you your passion. I’ll be nothing but a whole burden. You’ll meet someone better who recognizes your life and by then she’ll be a brave one who can communicate with you. You’ll find someone new, or you already did. If anything, happiness is all I need in the end, at least at the ends of the world. It did happen. I was happy because the next thing I’ll do will be the bravest thing I had ever done after all my cowardly decisions in life, and it’s all because of you.
I stood up at the top of the porch and imagined a vivid scenery. It was you kneeling down to someone new. She did accept it and you were celebrating. Tears ran down my cheeks but was I smiling? Yes, it was indeed happiness seeing you take a break from the pressure and realize you needed to receive joy. I wasn’t able to give it to you but to think someone else would, contrasted the happiness and pain. “It’s time to let go” I opened my eyes slowly as I thought and saw the moonlight. I snapped out of my thoughts and cleared out my head. Because no matter what happened in between us, you crossed my mind in a second. And that’s when I knew, I still loved you despite the bittersweet rain.
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10
[CHRIS POV]
  I heard sirens in front of the place that doesn’t feel like home anymore. Why? I heard how young and innocent the girl was and it was a pity to see her leave. It was a shock for me to the point that I hadn’t shed a single tear. Empty, hollow. It was all I could feel at the moment. Was she gone? Did she conclude to leave her out of my life?
Paper. That’s all I’ve seen on the desk. It’s prohibited to enter but I couldn’t believe what I’m seeing. The paper was crumpled and I believed you took the time to read this. Was my perspective wrong about you? Wasn’t this about you? I read the paper without further thinking and realized how I painted her as an angel. She is human, she was a human. Yet I’ve acted as if she was happy all the time, trying to save me from being a mess. Did I take a look back at her? No, instead I assumed too quickly. But what could that change? I was late and you’ve already given up. I was this close to preventing this but because I was so into writing a song made for you, I had forgotten the purpose to the point that it doesn’t seem like you anymore. Can I turn back time? If only I could. I needed to feel your warmth, I needed to see you one last time. I need you.
“Excuse me, do you know the victim?” A man from the authorities asked.
“Yes.”
Mixed emotions were vivid. I felt guilty but hoped you were happy in your last breath. The context of mines was complicated and I didn’t even notice it before. I abandoned to treat, as what I comprehend. Miscommunication rode the tides but it was undoubtedly true when I started to ignore people that surround me. I want to focus on you without realizing I left you. Is that even possible? It is now that I’ve seen it. Just like CDs, everything was played out in deja vu. People were different but things were just the same. It was how I became just like the person I despised all my life. But I did it for a reason, it’s not like I forgot about you. I just didn’t think how your feelings are right now but pursuing this song, is how I still remembered every bit of you. Would the ring I held on be given if I arrived earlier? No, I should’ve realized. I should’ve loved and made you feel how important you were to me in the days back then. In times you felt a hole in your chest, I should’ve been there to feel it up with love. I should’ve been there when you felt insecure. I should’ve been there when you felt all alone. But no matter how much I hurt myself, tear myself apart, it all ends with “I should’ve.” I’m sorry I couldn’t show you what I wanted to. I’m sorry I couldn’t love you until the very end.
I continued explaining to the man, 
  “She was my fiancée”
would you love me if I let go?
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gothfoxx · 2 months ago
Text
Day 5 vocab/skating
Warning:suggestive language, spitting
Logan walked up to the imaginary skatepark that Virgil has frequented since the Crofters episode. The “radical” purple side skated up over the lip of the “pool” and pulled off a spin that put the heel end forward, “Impeccably Backside Virgil!” Logan praised, catching the other off guard causing him to slip on the board. “Dude, what?” Virgil asks dazed as Logan rushes over to help him back up, “I was complimenting your spin, it’s called a backside is it not?” The logical side looks confused in a cute puppy-Patton manner. “Uh yeah, just didn’t know you knew that. Surprised me is all.” And man was Virgil glad he was wearing thicker foundation today or else his blush would be extremely noticeable. “So why do I have the pleasure of hanging out with our number one brain cell?” Best to change the subject to something else, backside wtf, “Oh I was hoping to catch some footie with you.” Ok so not much better. “Logan are you asking to play footsie or to videotape me? Videotape me skating, not just me! That would be odd even for you.” His nervous fidgeting doesn’t go unnoticed, “Just recording your tricks for physics, only if that’s alright with you.” Logan assures. With a sigh of relief Virgil agrees.
It’s about twenty minutes in when Logan makes mention of “how good Virgil is at grinding” that resulted in a coughing fit from the anxious side. After some more basic tricks the two sat on one of the boxes to drink some water, it was way too sunny not to hydrate frequently. Mid sip Logan turned to Virgil and with a straight/gay face asked “have you ever boned before?” cue the perfect spot take moment, but before Virgil can recover Logan is apologizing, “My apologies, I know it’s a risky move and you embody anxiety but you seem to enjoy this activity so I just assum-“ With a gasp and a laugh Virgil cut him off, “Dude, it’s fine. I just grew up with Remus so I hear the word boned and expect something dirty. No I haven’t boned before, but not from a lack of trying.” Virgil just needs to remind himself and his pounding heart that Logan doesn’t mean anything by this other than probably showing he learned some new slang, calm down.
The sun is starting to progress to the other side of the sky when Virgil’s heart gets another jolt, “Virgil, would you mind pole jamming this funbox?” It’s asked so innocently that the purple clad side tosses out a “sure” before he registers what was asked, there is no way Logan asked that like that and didn’t know how it sounded. “Lo?” The addressed side hums in recognition, “you’ve been using skater slang to flirt with me this whole time haven’t you?” Virgil accuses, scandalized by his own realization. “I have. Janus suggested the flirting with skater lingo, Remus helped me pick out which words would have double meanings” logic, the cunning, conniving, cocky jerk smirked holding up a set of index cards, “now let me ask again, would you mind Pole jamming this funbox? Or should I just be blunt and say s-“ “No no I get it! Yes? I mean totally but like dude let me take you out to dinner first! A day at a skatepark isn’t exactly romantic.” Virgil flails his hands and rambles in excited embarrassment. “By all means, but I believe we should take dessert home” Logan purrs, eyes half lidded as he starts walking away from the park and towards another part of the imagination.
@analogicalweek
This one was supposed to be cute and fluffy but turned spicy once I went to look up more slang(my sister was a skater so I knew a few terms) and I saw the backside one, too good to pass up
Backside: a spin that puts the heel end of the board forwards
Footie: getting footage of skateboarding on video
Grind: pointing up, back, and away from the obstacle/surface
Boned: tilting forward and down midair
Pole jam: riding up on a diagonally bent pole
Fun box: box with grindable surfaces
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welllpthisishappening · 2 months ago
21 for the kiss prompts. because I am me LOL
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Alright, so, full disclosure, this is not CS fic. I was going to write CS fic for this. i was! I had this vaguely angsty Emma gets hurt and Killian loses his mind thing happening, but then—I didn’t write that. Instead, here’s Will Scarlet gets hurt and Belle French loses her mind and it’s hockey. It’s 2,000 words! I don’t know how that happened. Anyway, the prompt here was “bloody kiss” and I love Will Scarlet with the force of a thousand suns. If you guys want to send more kiss prompts, I’m still waiting for people to respond to my emails.
“You’re mad.”
“Your powers of deduction are truly unparalleled. What gave me away, exactly?”
Will bit his lower lip. Let his teeth dig down until he tasted blood and, well—more blood, he supposed. Six stitches later, though, and there wasn’t much blood left on his face, just a pair of narrow eyes doing their best to glare a hole through his cranium and he didn’t think that was entirely possible. 
Biology had never been his strong suit, really. Unless you counted hauling off and punching some rat-faced bastard on the Caps who couldn’t keep his goddamn mouth shut about a possible offsides that had maybe happened two periods before and they’d been winning and it was fine. Totally fine. This was his job. Punching and bruising up assholes. Just a little bit, to remind them who they were playing and what was on the line and—
It was entirely possible Belle’s eyes were not entirely human. 
His face flushed. Heat raced through either one of his cheeks, threatening what he could only assume was the structural integrity of his own eyes because Will couldn’t remember when he’d decided to widen them, exactly. Just that they were starting to dry out a little bit and Ariel was going to kill him. 
She’d made that very clear post-game. 
There might be a two-person line to wreak havoc, now. 
“You get this little pinch between your eyebrows,” Will said, leaning forward until the top of his head nearly hit the bottom of her chin, “makes it easy to tell.”
Belle huffed. Crossed her arms. Nearly punched him in the face, which would have been something close to the peak of irony at this point, and then maybe Ariel wouldn’t threaten to kill him again. No, that was wishful thinking. 
It’d be a miracle if they were allowed uptown later. Ariel had probably sent out an APB, or whatever the culinary equivalent of that was. No admittance until the blood had dried off his forehead and he laid prostrate at her feet, begging forgiveness for the error of his ways. 
Like hell, he would.
This was his job. He was the—
Fuck, maybe he was a goon. He hadn’t scored in a while. Not even a secondary assist, or anything. Skating at the edge of the blue line on a fledgling power play did not an All-Star make, and, well, now that he thought about it, maybe Will had started jawing first. There were mumbled insults, at least. 
From him, specifically. More than once, actually. 
“I don’t think you’re supposed to be back here, y’know.”
The pinch got—
Pinchier. Deeper. Like a tiny, little crevice between what Will was starting to realize were meticulously cared-for eyebrows and maybe he should get a CT scan or an MRI or something because it had taken him this long to notice she was also wearing his jersey. Too-long sleeves grazed the slight bend of her knuckles, looking as if she was actively stopping herself from fisting her hands at her side and that thought wasn’t supposed to make him smile. 
Still. 
Will’s lips tugged up. His eyes thinned. Nose crinkled ever so slightly. Something that had been growing increasingly familiar in the last few months of the season jumped between his ribs, like little flutters of wholly imaginary wings, and she kept wearing his jersey. Kept coming to games, and that was good because they’d gotten past the labels and expectations, all of which were sky-high on the NHL’s most romance-prone hockey team. 
God, maybe he wasn’t just a goon. Maybe he was a complete and total asshole. 
“This is Cap’s fault,” Will announced, and he’d been ready for the pinch. He was less prepared for those eyebrows he was starting to become a tad obsessed with to soar up Belle’s forehead, past the swoop of bangs that regularly messed with his cognizant reasoning. 
She scoffed. “Are you fucking with me?”
“No, but maybe when we get back to—”
“I will kick you in the shins, Scarlet, I swear to every God you can think of.”
He tried not to deflate. Really, he did. But his name seemed to crack out of her, punching the bridge of his nose like Belle had actually pulled her right arm back and her scoff was more like an exhale that time. That had never happened. 
Even before. Before the labels and the attempts at setting up Killian and watching that entire season and how often he stared longing at Emma, before Regina and Locksley continued to be parents extraordinaire and the jealousy started to eat away at him. Slowly, but surely and he never talked about that, but he figured she knew because Belle knew everything and—
“Bet you twenty bucks you could name more gods than I could.”
Another sigh. A tilt of her head. It made her bangs shift. He wasn’t sure what was happening in his chest. Expanding and contracting, a painful rhythm that hurt way more than the stitches or the shitty metaphors and he was glad she’d snuck into the locker room. Will didn’t want her anywhere else. 
Naming conventions, aside. 
“I’m sorry—” “—I love you.”
He almost fell over. Impressive, since Will was still sitting down and his feet didn’t entirely reach the floor from that position. His jaw dropped. He hated that. Partially because it hurt and mostly because he should have been way cooler, wanted to be way cooler, but there were dots of red on his girlfriend’s cheeks and teeth digging into her lower lip, now, and he resolutely ignored the ache in his calves when he slid back to his feet. 
Curling an arm around her waist, he didn’t think much about the precise way he yanked her. Forward. Directly into his chest and that didn’t leave much room to bend his knees, but Will was less concerned with specifics and the staging of this than actually getting to the good part. 
The kissing part. 
Plus, Belle pushed up on her toes. So, that helped. 
He groaned. Loudly, like embarrassingly loud. As soon as her head tilted and he could get his mouth on hers and they were all hands and lips and whatever she was doing with her tongue, tracing the lip he’d been so intent on biting through just a few moments before. Bending his knees did give Will some more leverage. To pull her even closer, moving his arm and ignoring her soft protests. 
Most of them died when he managed to get a hand under her left thigh. 
She groaned. Something to be said about symmetry, Will assumed. Although he also didn’t really...care. About the saying, mostly. Not when he was melting and falling, dropping into the deep end of a pool that was a shock to his system and the best thing that had ever happened to him and she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Bar none. 
Especially when she did that tongue thing. 
Closing his eyes, he knew he had to tilt his head. Had to breathe and stay conscious and he didn’t want to think about the medical requirements of a professional hockey player at a time like that, but he knew consistent awareness of his surroundings was probably fairly important and the roar of triumph blaring through his brain made that a little difficult. Breathing would have to be enough for now. 
“I can’t—” Belle’s shoulders heaved. Fingers dragged across the back of Will’s neck and he had to admit he was fairly impressed with her balance. Her right foot wasn’t on the ground. “Shit, I—” He pulled her lip between his teeth, tried to memorize the next hitch of her breath and he was about five-point two-three seconds away from losing his mind. Rocking his hips up was a very bad idea. He did it anyway. “Babe, I can’t think when you do that.”
Everything was spinning. He was spinning. No, that wasn’t true. He wasn’t spinning. He was standing and touching and there was barely any color left in Belle’s eyes. 
Pride prickled at the back of Will’s brain. Until pain joined the fray, making a glorious and unwelcome return at the precise moment he realized there was moisture on his cheek again. Warm and red and Ariel was going to kill him. 
“Cap and Emma were making out in the hallway,” Will explained, “pre-game. Nothing they don’t normally do, and I don’t even think they knew I was there.”
“Is any of this supposed to make me feel better?”
He nodded. “I love you, too. Like it’s ridiculous how in love with you I am.”
Silence. As much as there could be in a locker room, at least. Water fell from shower heads a few hundred feet away, the low murmur of questions and Lucas-approved answers, squeaking sneakers and clacking heels, and the familiar sound of wheels rolling across linoleum as the equipment hampers moved down the hall. 
Will took a deep breath. 
Slowly, through his nose. Keeping the nerves off his face was harder than he expected, and even more ridiculous than whatever he’d just proclaimed because Belle had proclaimed first and it was entirely possible they were both colossal idiots. That put them on even ground, though. 
He appreciated that. 
“Why were you mad, ma moitié?”
There was the pinch, again. “Why do you think?” Will shook his head, brushing hair away from her eyes and he knew he didn’t imagine that sigh, either. Softer. More content. All that previous even ground. “Because I—” Belle started, and the color hadn’t left her face yet. “I know you think you’ve got to be this guy. Out there defending, not just the goal but the people and that’s...I’m super into that.”
“But?”
“But it makes me so nervous, I could spit.’
Will genuinely had no idea what noise he made. It might not have been human, really. Tearing out of his throat, his eyes bugged and he bent over without really meaning to, forehead finding Belle’s shoulder like that was the only reasonable landing place. He was still bleeding. Or bleeding again, whatever. 
“Say that again,” he mumbled. Into her jersey. His jersey. Whatever, part two. 
“Spit,” she repeated, making sure to enunciate every letter, “because I know you can hold your own in a fight, and that’s how you think you make a difference on this team, but—”
“It is that’s why.”
“Was my shin-kicking threat not threatening?”
He kissed exactly where his lips were. “Not really, no.”
“‘Cuz I’ll totally do it, I swear. To all those gods and goddesses and then they’ll descend from on high and tell you that they also think you’re an idiot who should know that letting some rat on the ice get under your skin is exactly what they’re trying to do. Plus, it’s way better when you check them, y’know?”
Lifting his head didn’t hurt. Made him a little nervous, anxiety churning his gut and this was not the way Will thought this would happen. Maybe he could get Belle to kick Killian too. For the making out. And the unspoken frustration. He was definitely an idiot. “Is it just?”
“Don’t make me say it.”
“Don’t have to. You’re very easy to read.”
Belle lifted her eyebrows. More. “That so?’
“You think it’s super attractive when I check another dude.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Didn’t have to. Also, I love you.”
“You mentioned that before, yeah.”
“And I am sorry for freaking you out.” Sigh number three wasn’t quite as resigned as the others, but it still left guilt rising in the back of Will’s throat and every single inch of him froze. As soon as Belle leaned around him, grabbed a far-too-large handful of gauze and started wiping blood off his cheek. “That’s way too much, babe.”
“Ariel can deal.”
“Ya gonna kick her too?”
“I’ll consider it,” Belle mumbled, back on both feet again. For, like, two seconds. Before she pushed back up on her toes, kissed the corner of Will's mouth, and added, “Don’t do that to me again, ok?”
“Aye, aye, Cap.”
He had much better reflexes than her. Pulling her back to his side before either one of her shoes could land a blow was easy and bordering almost close to joyful and that was a strange thing for him to be, but it was also easy and somehow even more simple and Ariel let them into the restaurant that night. They stayed for all of fifteen minutes. 
And Will told Belle he loved her once every five minutes on the cab ride back to his apartment. 
He timed it, and everything. Just to make sure the color stayed in her cheeks.
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0bsess3d · 2 months ago
Text
lies | j.m. | part one
masterlist
JJ Maybank x Routledge!Reader x Best Friend!OC
A/N: So idk if I like this or if I’m even going to continue this series (it’ll probably take a while). I also have no idea if I’m even gonna keep this shit up. I hope you enjoy it tho. also, the name sucks i know that, but i may change it later on idk.
Warnings: Cursing, Lying, I think that’s about it rn.
Word Count: 1.2K
Summary: Instead of rejecting your friend, you tell him you’re taken, which is a complete and total lie. Now that he’s asking to meet this so-called boyfriend of yours, you’re going to need someone to play the role of your imaginary love interest.
It was a shame that this great day was coming to an end. It was the first day of Summer Break, so, just like every other summer, you and your best friend spent the whole day on the water. Only, this time, you used his father’s new boat instead of your brother’s. It was now around 9 in the afternoon, and Julian was now driving you back to the chateau. Julian’s old truck finally came to a stop in front of the chateau, meaning that the fun was now officially over. “Thanks for the ride.” You went to open the door before Julian grabbed your other hand, stopping you. “What’s wrong?”
“I uh just need to ask you something.” You could tell he had something on his mind on the ride over here. He’s been all quiet which is very unusual for him, and he kept tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
“What is it?” You queried suspiciously and somewhat afraid.
“Do you- Would you wanna go out somewhere Friday night? Like, as a date?” You froze, still processing what he had asked. You had no idea he liked you this way. You had only ever thought of your relationship as purely platonic. You were just best friends. And only ever that.
“Julian-”
“You don’t feel the same way, do you?” He nodded after you didn’t reply, not looking you in the eye. “Oh my god, I’m an idiot. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” He just seems so sad and disappointed. You had to come up with something -- anything -- to make him feel better, even if it was just a teeny tiny bit.
“No, Julian, it’s okay. It’s just that I- I’ve been seeing someone.” You felt bad about lying to him. To be honest, it felt childish. Like you were in middle school again, making up a boyfriend to make yourself look “cool” to all of your friends. Obviously, this occasion was different. This time, you’re lying to protect your friendship from being ruined by the awkwardness that would surely follow up this conversation.
He was surprised, but there was still a hint of disappointment and maybe even embarrassment left on his face. “Oh- You haven’t mentioned anything about a boyfriend.”
“Yeah, we’ve kept it a secret for a while, but I guess the cat’s out of the bag.” You ended it with a slight chuckle. Ever since you were little, you’ve been a great liar. It was just a natural talent that you were born with. And it really did come in handy in times such as these.
Julian sighed, looking down at his floorboard. “I’m happy for you.” He gave a small, friendly smile. “Disappointed, but happy nonetheless.” The look he gave you made you feel guilty for lying to him. But, this was for the greater good, right? Because you felt like you were doing the right thing. “I do want to meet this boy, though.” He added, giving you a sick, nervous feeling deep down in the pit of your stomach.
“You do?” Your eyes widened for a split second before you told your body to keep calm. This lie of yours had already started to backfire, and you had only said it a few seconds ago. How the hell are you going to get out of this one?
“Hell, yeah, I do. As your best friend, it’s my job to make sure the guy you’re dating isn’t a complete asshole.” He elbowed your side after the phrase “best friend,” making you a hell of a lot more guilty than you already were. He gasped, pulling you out of your thoughts. “You should totally invite him to the movie night this Saturday. I’ll let Kassi know that you’re bringing him.”
He seems way happier to meet him than you are.
--
As soon as you got inside the house, you launched yourself onto the couch, your face landing right beside where your brother was sitting. You let out a muffled groan into the cushions below you.
“What’s wrong?” John B asked, stifling a chuckle.
“I’m an idiot.”
“Well, we all knew that already.” He laughed. You picked yourself up from the couch and sat beside him the correct way, giving him a death glare. “What happened, though?”
“Julian asked me out on a date, and, obviously, I only like him as a friend. But I couldn’t just say no because then it would make everything awkward. So, I did the only thing that made sense to me. I told him that I had a boyfriend that I’ve been keeping a secret. And the problem with that is that he wants to meet him now.” You rambled on.
John B laughed a little at your situation, earning a glare from you. “That sounds like a situation you’d get yourself into.” 
You hit his shoulder. “Shut up, asshole. I need advice, not for you to make fun of me.” 
“Okay, okay.” He thought for a second. “Try and find someone to pretend to be your boyfriend. Not someone he knows, though, because then he’ll catch you in the lie.”
“Who would I ask, though?”
John shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s your problem. I got to get ready for bed.”
You rolled your eyes. “Well, thanks for helping, jerk.” You said with sarcasm laced in your voice.
“No problem, sis, love you.” The next sound that was heard was your annoying brother’s bedroom door slamming shut and then the sound of your groaning.
 Then, from the kitchen, you hear the voice of someone that you didn’t even know was in your house at the moment. JJ Maybank. “I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend.” Your head snapped in his direction.
“You’re serious?” You questioned, relieved that you didn’t have to beg any of your other friends to do this.
“Yes, I’m serious. But you’ll owe me.” JJ moved from the kitchen to where you sat on the couch.
“Of course, thank you so much, JJ.”
--
“Nope, there is no way you are pretending to date my sister.” John B hollered from the other side of your father’s boat. You had just explained to everyone yesterday’s events, and everyone except for your brother didn’t have a problem with it.
“Come on, John B, please. It was your idea in the first place to find a fake boyfriend.” You tried to reason with the stubborn, stubborn boy you called your brother.
“I didn’t mean my best friend!” He shouted before pointing over at Kiara. “Kie, you’re the one that created the “no pogue on pogue macking” rule. Why are you okay with this?”
Kie shrugged. “John B, they aren’t going to actually date. It’s just pretending.” John kept silent as if he was rethinking his opinion on the whole matter.
JJ then spoke up, “She’s not wrong, JB. You know I wouldn’t do that to you. I wouldn’t break the  Bro Code.” 
John glanced over at JJ and nodded. “Okay, okay. I guess you guys are right.” The rest of the pogues cheered before being interrupted by your brother again. “But, if I see any PDA, real or fake, I’m murdering you both.”
“Got it, brother-in-law.”
“And don’t call me that, JJ.”
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borathae · 2 months ago
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"Seokjin is the college fuckboy. You are angry and annoyed at your ex. When you stumble into a supposed empty bedroom at your friends houseparty and meet Seokjin there, things take their natural path... Alternatively: The college fuckboy offers you TLC to cure your frustration, whatever that may be (spoiler alert some good ol' fuck)"
Pairing: Seokjin x f.Reader
Genre: Smut, fuckboy!Seokjin, college!AU
Warnings: switch!Seokjin who turns dom, switch!Reader who turns subby, oral sex (f. & m. recieving), discussion of safeword, protected sex, public sex?, it’s basically sex in a strangers (Jimins) bedroom, dirty talk, rough sex, belly bulging, a quick handjob, Seokjin has a massive dong, also he is so cocky
Wordcount: 5.261
a/n: This is is my first installation of “Tipsy Month” as my lovely friend @tipsydipsydo celebrates her birthday this month. 🤪 I hope you enjoy it Tipsy aye this one's for you 🤪😘 
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You slam the door shut, leaning against it whilst letting out an annoyed groan. Coming here was a mistake. You should have just stayed at home and watched a movie, instead of forcing yourself into this far too tight dress and those uncomfortable heels and go to Jimins stupid house party. The party itself wasn't bad, it was actually pretty fun until your ex with his new girl showed up. Stupid Jimin, why did he even invite him in the first place. He knows how much you two despise each other. 
You groan again, turning around only to freeze on the spot when your eyes fall on someone sitting on the bed. Kim Seokjin, the college fuckboy and your lecture buddy on Wednesday. He is tall, dark and handsome and so in-love with himself that there is no space in his heart for anyone else than himself. He is also terribly funny, which infuriates you on more occasions than one. It is not in your principles to laugh at jokes of total douchebags but man, Kim Seokjin may have the funniest laugh you have ever heard. You can't not laugh at his jokes, even if it's just because you think his laughter is hilarious. 
"Excuse me? I called dibs on this room first", he says, letting his eyes travel up and down your body shamelessly. 
"You called dips on a room that isn't even yours?" you snort, "I didn't see any signs outside telling me it's yours soooo", you shrug your shoulders, inspecting imaginary dirty under your fingernails. 
"Well I'm sitting on the bed and you aren't, sooo I call dibs", Seokjin retorts calmly, kicking his shoes off for emphasis. 
You watch him, crossing your arms in front of your chest. If people hadn't figured it out yet, you didn't really particularly like him as a person. His jokes were acceptable, yes of course and he was utterly handsome sure, but he was so full of himself that it infuriated you. And you are pretty sure Seokjin doesn't like you that much either, given how you are the only girl on campus refusing to sleep with him. He sees it as a personal offence that someone could possibly not want his dick.
"What are you doing here anyways? The party's downstairs isn't it?" he asks, nodding his head into the direction of the door. 
You shrug your shoulders, breaking the distance between you and him to sit down on the bed next to him. You let out a loud sigh whilst doing so, kicking off your heels. 
"My ex just arrived with his new girl and I'm not one for watching them make out five feet away from me", you explain, sighing loudly afterwards. 
"Geez that sucks", Seokjin says. 
"Yeah a little. I mean not that I want this douchebag back, but I still don't want to see that. You know? It's about the principles."
You look at Seokjin, who to your surprise watches you with honest interest in his eyes.
"Totally, I get what you mean. I wouldn't wanna see one of my one night stands suddenly get it on with another dude. That would be weird."
You scoff, rolling your eyes at him. 
"That is so not at all the same thing, but yeah totally."
For a moment you both stay silent, listening to the muffled music of downstairs. Some house music, perfect to get wasted to. It's not really your taste, you're more of a hip-hop girl yourself, but it suits Jimin. You sneak a glance Seokjins way, who is too busy with staring at the closed bedroom door to notice. You could - no you should - get up and leave, but do you really want to? Of course Seokjin isn't the company you had wished for, but it is still nice to not be completely alone with your thoughts. Even if it's just Seokjin being his usual annoying self. Besides he is so much better to look at than your ex and his new girl. 
You look back at the door, letting your feet tangle back and forth whilst leaning back on the bed. This must either be Jimins room or his guestroom. You wouldn't know, given how this is your first time at Jimins frat house. Judging by the modern interior and overuse of the colour grey however it is pretty obvious that it must be Jimins room. That dude has an unhealthy obsession with grey. 
"You know", Seokjin suddenly says, "I've heard of a great remedy that can help with forgetting your ex."
"Oh no, what's that marvelous remedy you are talking about?" you ask looking at him.
"TLC", Seokjin states nonchalantly as if you knew what he meant by that. 
"I'll regret asking but TLC?" you cock an eyebrow at him. 
Seokjin scoots closer to you, legs almost touching. You can smell his cologne at that distance, woody with a hint of orange blossoms. It suits him. 
"Thick Long Cock", he says nonchalantly. 
"I-", you can't help but snort, not knowing if you should find it amusing or hot. Of course, why did you even expect another answer from him.
"Now, now don't laugh at me baby, I'm only trying to help here. You know", he sends you a cheeky smirk, "I'm a five star rated provider of TLC, I'll cure you in no time." 
"Are you now?" you chuckle in amusement.
"Yes, side effects may vary from uncontrollable shaking to mindblowing orgasms, some even reported to feel like blacking out. So I heard." 
"Sounds dangerous." 
"Only if you don't know how to handle it. But I'm pretty sure someone as feisty as you can handle it just fine." 
You click your tongue at him, sighing dramatically as you get to your feet. You whip around, looking down at him with dark eyes.
"Oh Kim Seokjin, you're such a sweet talker", you coo, putting your hands on his shoulders, "I bet all the other girls are swooning when you talk to them like that", you say before touching his nose with the tip of your finger. 
"What other girls?" Seokjin tilts his head to the side in question. His hands land on your hips, massaging them slowly. 
"Oh come on, you don't need to play dumb with me. I know how you think, no need to put on the act of the cute, committed boy with me."
Seokjin grins devilishly, eyes flashing up in desire. He pulls you onto his lap, making you gasp in surprise. One of his hands supports your lower back while the other is on the back of your neck, playing with your hair. 
"Well, tonight I only care about you baby. I'll even stay for some cuddles if you want. I have time", he rasps.
"Oh really?", you scoff.
"Yes I really do, you're the only pussy I wanna cure with my TLC", he rasps, fingers travelling up and down your back  His touch makes you shiver. You scoot up on his lap, closer to where he wants you most. He isn't hard yet, but you are sure this will change very soon.
"What makes you think I even want some TLC or better speaking you to give it to me?" you ask, poking your finger into his chest. 
"Well-" Seokjin licks his lips, "-first of all you're already on my lap so why stop now? And second of all what better way to show your ex how little you care about him than sleeping with someone as handsome as me?"
"Aah I see", you say, almost laughing out loud in amusement. He is so full of himself, which for some reason tonight you find terribly attractive.
Your hands feel up and down the defined muscles of his shoulders and chest, soaking in every ridge. Exactly how you imagined Kim Seokjins body to feel like. Oh what a gorgeous man he is. A sudden thought rushes through you, one that makes your stomach clench in desire. What bad could sleeping with him do? He had wanted to bang you for months now and from what you had heard of people he is pretty amazing in it. So why not take your mind off of things and actually accept his offer. It's just sex after all, no feelings whatsoever, just good old sex. 
"Fine. If that's so, then go on, start your world renowned procedure. Show me what that TLC can do", you rasp.
Seokjin grins in victory, twisting your hair in his fingers. 
"I'm at your service kitten. Come on don't be shy now and kiss your doctor", he says, leaning closer. 
"Uh-nuh", you stop him with a finger on his plumb lips. 
Seokjin blinks at you, lips parting and pupils dilating. 
"What we are not going to do here is call you my doctor", you say to which Seokjin scoffs. 
"Fine, but I can still call you kitten though?" 
You act as if you are thinking, humming. 
"Yeah okay, that's acceptable", you finally say, dragging your thumb down his lower lip until it bounces back into place again. 
His lips are so pink, fuck that's so hot. You scoot up his lap, tilting his head up to finally kiss him. 
Seokjin instantly groans into the kiss, fingers on your hips tightening and lips parting. Kissing him feels like kissing two soft, warm pillows, which also happen to taste of mint. It is an experience, one you wished you would have done sooner. 
Seokjin is quick to take over the control. Not that you mind, you are happy to let his tongue explore your mouth eagerly. You tangle your fingers in his dark hair, moaning at how soft it feels. You pull at it. The kiss breaks as Seokjin lets you tilt his head back, hooded eyes watching you hungrily. 
"Your lips feel amazing", he rasps, "I bet they'd feel even better wrapped around my cock."
"Wouldn't you like to know? First heal my pussy like you promised to and maybe then I'll consider sucking your dick."
"Oh? A woman, who knows what she wants? That's sexy."
"I know", you smirk, kissing him again afterwards. 
Seokjin groans, pulling you closer until your core is rubbing against his growing length. Thanks past you for not putting on panties, you can feel everything. Every rough scratch of his jeans against your soaked pussy and the hotness of his cock feels amazing. 
You push at his shoulders until his back hits the mattress. Your kiss breaks in the process. Seokjin chuckles, gazing up at you with darkened eyes. 
"So rough", he coos, massaging your thighs. 
"You promised me quick relief. Don't make me wait Kim Seokjin, I don't have all night", you state calmly, raking your fingers down his chest. 
"Take my pants off then, be quick about it", he says, smirking. 
"I thought you'd never ask." 
With quick fingers you unfasten his belt, the metal clap clicking loudly. His pants follow soon after, getting pulled down until they lay on the floor in a puddle. Now only his black briefs keep him modest, the fabric straining against his semi-hard. 
"Can I take those off too?" you ask for permission. 
"You first", he says to which you grin knowingly. 
"Honey I'm not wearing any panties anyway." 
His eyes grow big, a hungry fire flashing up in them as he stares at your middle. 
"Damn girl you're hot", he says, dick growing harder in his briefs. 
"Thanks boo. Now can I undress you?" 
"Yeah sure go ahead kitten", he says.
One quick tuck and his length springs free, making you stop in his act of undressing him just to stare at him. 
Your eyes are big in shock, your mouth salivating. 
"Damn boy you weren't lying, that is long", you say with genuine surprise in your voice. 
"And it's thick too", Seokjin adds, proud grin on his devilishly handsome face, "touch it."
You do so instantly, gasping when your fingers barely close around his length. 
"Dude it's massive, I don't know if my vagina is built for this", you say as you jerk him off slowly. Although it is more fondling than anything else. You just can't believe a dick like this actually exists, you just have to touch it to make sure it's real. 
Seokjin rolls his head back, propping himself up on his elbows. He obviously enjoys the lazy handjob you grant him. His chest heaves up and down in quick breaths, his ears turning red. 
"Oh kitten, of course she is with s-such a gorgeous owner."
"Gross", you pull a face of disgust at his compliment.
"There's always lube", Seokjin states nonchalantly and shrugs his shoulders. 
"Where on earth are we supposed to get lube?" 
"This is a frathouse love, it's bubbling in testosterone. I bet if I open this bedside table drawer-", he opens it and pulls out a red bottle of lube, "-I'll find some lube. Bingo."
"This is gross. I don't wanna use strangers lube."
"Well then we have to think of another way of getting you wet", Seokjin starts to smirk, "ride my face."
Your pussy clenches in need at his words. 
“You want me to ride your face?” 
“Yes, go on. We both know you want to sit on that handsome piece of art”, he says pointing at his own face. 
You scoff and roll your eyes. He wasn’t lying. You really did want to sit on that handsome face. Even if it was just to shut him up for a few minutes. 
“Fine”, you say and pull your dress up. 
Seokjins eyes instantly land on your exposed core. He swallows and licks over his lips, chest visibly heaving up and down. 
“Damn okay, this isn’t even a joke, you have a really sexy pussy”, he says, well croaks would be a better way to describe it. 
“Thank you”, you say as you make your way up his body, making sure to grind it over his torso as you do. You have to give him something to remember you by, even if it is just a t-shirt, soaked in your pussy juices. 
“O-okay wow”, Seokjin groans, muscles flexing with every roll of your hips, “hot damn kitten, your pussy.” 
“Wait until you taste it”, you say confidently. 
“Then don’t keep me waiting, hot damn”, Seokjin hisses, literally salivating. 
“Didn’t plan on it. Fast relief, remember?” you say, wiggling your hips right in front of his face. 
Seokjins eyes are glued to your middle, pupils dilated and mouth hanging open. He nods his head, although you are pretty sure that he only did so because your voice indicated a question. 
“You ready?” you ask him, shimming closer. 
“More than ready”, he grabs your hips, “but wait first. Safeword is humus and the safety gesture is tapping the other three times.” 
“Okay”, you nod your head, “sounds doable.” 
You exchange a smile, which is thinking back, a weird thing to do in such a situation. But back then it felt right to do. Seokjin pulls at your hips. 
“Get on there now, kitten”, he rasps and so you do. 
You sink down slowly, holding onto the wall for support. Seokjin meets you halfway, connecting his lips with your core eagerly. A shiver runs through you, followed by a content groan. You sink down, Seokjin is moaning happily at it.
He starts off by kissing your pussy hungrily, sucking on it each time he pulls back. He keeps his tongue hidden for now, his plumb lips are enough stimulation anyway. Wet and so soft, it feels incredible. His big hands knead your naked ass deliciously, making sure to guide your movements ever so slowly. 
“That’s nice”, you say. You aren’t one to be sparse with compliments during sex. Even the cockiest of bastards get compliments, in the end you were the one receiving the pleasure, so why not tell them that what they were doing was enjoyable for you?
Seokjin looks up at you, eyes dark in arousal. He groans against pussy, sending shivers down to your toes. You hum in content, beginning to roll your hips on his mouth. That's when you feel it. His hot, wet tongue finally flicking up and down your folds. 
"Shit, ah, that's it", you groan, throwing your head back. 
Seokjin grabs more of your ass and presses you closer. He moans and groans, swirling his tongue over your core in lighting speed. You look down at him. Seokjin knows the exact moment your eyes locked with his, he could taste it on his tongue. 
"Keep doing that", you encourage him breathlessly, "that’s good, keep doing that." 
Seokjin buries his face deeper in your core, nose rubbing against your clit. His tongue fucks up into your hole, feasting on your juices with a content groan. 
"Oh fuck, mhhhhhm", you throw your head back, "that’s it, yes right there", you moan, rolling your hips back and forth. His hands grip your hips, helping you with your movements. He grunts, eyes closing. You can’t stop your thighs from shaking, not when he is eating you out like that. 
"I'm close", you tell him, voice raspy and eyes pressed shut. 
Seokjin encourages you to let go with a growl and an aggressive flick of his tongue. He presses you down on him and starts sucking on your clit, doing literal gymnastics with his tongue.
Your toes curl first. Then your stomach clenches.  
"Oh fuck!"
Then your thighs close on his head. Seokjin growls again, teeth crazing your clit. 
"Ah, yes, that!" 
And then your high hits you. Heat spreads from your middle down your legs. Breathing is hard for a good five seconds. The music, which was once so incredibly loud, only sounds like a whisper in your ringing ears. 
One last quake and then you raise your hips and shimmy off of him. You sit down on his stomach, hands on his chest. 
“Phew, that was something else”, you say, skin burning and cheeks heated. 
He is catching his breath, looking far too handsome with your juices all over his lower face.  
"Well, hot damn", he laughs breathlessly, "I agree."
He looks at you before he props himself up on his elbows. 
"It was fun, yeah", you agree, outlining his pecs with your fingers, "however you promised me TLC." 
Seokjin smirks and clicks his tongue. 
"I knew TLC would be a successful name", he says cockily. 
You roll your eyes. 
"I regret calling it that way." 
"No, no. Kitten", he sits up. It makes you slip down on his lap. He cups your cheek, making intense eye contact with you, "don't feel ashamed. I tell you, in a few months this word is booming in popularity."
You snort. 
"Keep dreaming", you say, pushing at his chest. 
Seokjin falls down, bouncing off the mattress once. It knocks the air out of his lungs and makes his eyes grow in size. 
"Daaamn", he says, mouth hanging open. 
You merely give him a little shrug of your shoulders and a playful grin and then you shimmy down his body to make yourself comfortable between his legs. Seokjin is properly gulping, eyes threatening to close. 
"Gotta return the favour, don’t I?" you coo, fingers closing around the base of his cock. 
"You're gonna suck my dick?" Seokjin blurts out, eyes growing even bigger. 
"Yeah, duh", you answer him, closing the distance between your mouth and his cock. 
You give his tip little kitten licks first. Seokjin inhales shakily, hand landing on your head instinctively. 
"Uh-nuh" you say, moving away. 
"Whyyyy?" Seokjin whines, hips chasing your lips. 
"No touching", you explain, pulling his hand away and placing it back on the mattress. 
"Oh", he gulps, "okay, daaamn you're hot." 
"I know", you coo and continue flicking your tongue over his tip. 
Seokjin shivers, grabbing the sheets. The desire to hold your head must be almost unbearable to control. It makes you smirk. You have the cockiest fuckboy on campus grabbing the sheets in desperation. There is nothing better than this. Well, actually there is. 
His cock.
You take him into your mouth, closing your lips eagerly around his girthy length. Seokjin moans and it is surprisingly high-pitched. Your eyes flit up to his face. Plumb lips parted, cheeks tinted pink and nose scrunched up in pleasure. Oh no, there goes your stomach actually clenching at the view. 
You sink down further, hollowing out your cheek for his cock. 
"Shit, so good", he mewls, flexing his stomach and twisting the sheets. 
You know you won’t be able to take his entire length in and you are pretty sure Seokjin knows this too. But this doesn’t stop your hand from jerking off whichever parts you can’t reach, using your spit as lube. Seokjin mewls again, gulping so hard his Adams apple bops up and down in his thick neck. 
You answer him with a moan and a harsh suck. You bop your head up and down as you suck, making sure to press the flat of your tongue against his cock. 
"Ah, ah, that's it", he moans, voice high and desperate. 
Men are all the same. They like to act all cocky and "Alpha Male" (oh how you hate this expression) but the moment their dick is down someones throat, they turn into whiny little boys. Your stupid ex was like this and now Seokjin, the cockiest fuckboy on campus. It is quite fascinating really. 
"Oh fuck!" Seokjin yelps, hips bucking up. 
Just this moment you decided to drag your teeth over his length. Precum spills on your tongue, his fingers grip more of the sheets. Your hand speeds up, other hand playing with his tight balls. Another gentle bite, then you drag them up his length. 
"Fuck, oh fuck. Kitten you're gonna make me cum", he moans, writhing on the mattress.
Down his cock you go, moaning when his tip hits your throat. Seokjin mewls and bucks his hips up. 
"So close." 
Up his cock you go, flicking your tongue over his tips quickly. Seokjin moans and flexes his neck. 
"Kitten I-" 
You release his cock with a loud bop, watching how he is left writhing and whining as his climax drifts away from him. You make sure to squeeze down on the base of his cock, basking in the way his vein pulsates in desperation. 
"Hngngng", Seokjin groans, twisting the sheets. His eyes peel open, pupils dilated. 
"Why did you do t-that?" he whines with a big pout on his lips. He props himself up on his elbows, “that’s not cool”, he mumbles, pouting even harder. 
"Because", you let go of his cock, "-you promised me a nice fuck and I won’t miss out on that." 
Seokjin chuckles breathlessly, falling back down. 
"You're gonna be the death of me", he murmurs, brushing his messy hair out of his face. 
"Well thank you", you grin and pat his thigh, "so what you say? Wanna fuck?" 
"Well, duh", Seokjin sits up, "let me just get a condom real quick." 
He takes his jeans and boxers off, discarding them on the floor. As he rolls the condom on, you make yourself comfortable on the bed, watching him with hungry eyes. 
"It's on", he says, jerking his dick off lazily, "so how'd you wanna take me?"
"You know that position where you lift my legs and fuck me like that?" 
Seokjin gulps and nods his head. 
"I want that", you say, spreading your legs to give him the perfect view of your pussy. 
"Shitting fuck. I-I mean fucking shit", he stutters, totally bewitched by the view. He gets on the bed, eyes glued to your core the entire time. 
"You like the view?" you tease, wiggling your hips. 
"Liking is an understatement", he rasps, running his palms up your inner thighs, "you're so hot." 
"Thank you", you say, voice shaking slightly as Seokjin drags his pointer finger up and down your pussy. 
"Oh you're so wet, that's hot", he murmurs, eyes meeting yours, "raise your legs for me."
You do as he says in an instance, not wanting to waste more time with unnecessary talking. Seokjin places both of your legs on his right pec, stroking his hand up and down your thigh. He wraps his fingers around the base of his dick, eyes meeting yours. 
“You’re ready to get your world blown away, kitten?” he asks cockily, wiggling his eyebrows. 
You roll your eyes, “fine, I am. Good god, you’re so full of yourself.” 
Seokjin smirks, “lucky for you, very soon and”, he says, teasing your hole with his cock, “you’ll be full of myself too”, he rasps. 
“Are you serio- oh ha! Wow…” 
Seokjin finally preaches you, stretching you out dangerously good. It burns, it really does, but man you missed that kind of burn. You grab the sheets, inhaling shakily as Seokjin pushes another inch of his length inside of you. 
“You comfortable?” he makes sure, spreading your legs to make the preach a little easier. 
“Your cock’s massive”, you gulp, nose scrunching up as another inch enters you, “it’s incredible.” 
“See? I knew your pussy was perfect for my cock”, he says, rolling his hips. Three more inches slip inside, eliciting a high-pitched gasp from you. Seokjin reaches down and begins circling your clit with his thumb. Your hips shoot up, pussy swallowing the remaining inches hungrily. 
“That’s good, take me in kitten, that’s it”, he rasps, touching your lower belly. His thumb keeps rubbing circles on your clit as his fingers feel over your stomach. He starts moving, growling deeply as he does. 
“I can feel how my cock’s bulging your perfect stomach”, he says, smirk curling at his lips, “that’s so fucking sexy.” 
Can you hear him? Yes you can. Will you answer him? No, you won’t. Reason? You have never felt so perfectly stretched out and filled up by a cock than you currently do and you are quite honestly spiraling. You hate to admit it, but fuck Seokjins world famous TLC actually does what it promises you. Cure you in ways nothing else could. 
Seokjin places your legs on his right pec again. The newfound tightness makes you mewl, head rolling to the side. 
“So tight”, Seokjin grunts, hot sweat dampening his chest, “you like it, kitten? You like how my TLC is filling you up?” 
“Yeah”, you moan, twisting the sheet, “yeah, yeah, yeah”, he fucks the words out of you with every thrust. 
“Yeah?” he confirms and places his thumb on your clit again, rubbing eager circles on it, “I told you that you’d be so full of myself.” 
You groan, “oh shut up”, you choke out, not really helping your fake annoyance by shaking like crazy afterwards. 
“You love it”, he challenges and slams his hips into you, “Admit. It. Kitten.” 
With every word he drills his massive cock into you without mercy, making your entire body jiggle and shake like crazy. You didn’t even know that you could squeak that high-pitched, you’ll probably lose your voice if he keeps this up. 
“Yeah, yeah, yeah”, your vocabulary has been reduced to this one single word. 
“I knew it”, he smirks cockily, rewarding you by speeding up his thumb, “I knew that you’d love it”, he angles his cock differently, finally hitting that magic toe-curling spot deep inside of you. 
“Seokjin!” you yelp up, squeezing your eyes shut so tightly you can see colours, “that’s the spot!” 
Seokjin tightens his grip around your legs, stopping them from slipping down his chest. With expert accuracy he hits your g-spot a second time, basking in the way it makes you squeak out a moan. 
“All those months of you acting like you hated me”, he starts, pressing down on your clit, “it was just you pretending, wasn’t it? Be honest, you wanted me. Say it!” 
“Oh god, oh god”, you moan, lost in the pleasure. He is curling your toes to the point that you fear they will cramp. You can feel how your belly is bulging with every thrust, the fill is mind numbing. 
“Answer me”, he orders, pinching your clit. 
“Ah!” you yelp, back arching off the mattress, “maybe, yeah maybe.” 
“That’s better, kitten”, he says, kissing your g-spot with his cock as a reward. Over and over and over again until you can feel the blood pulsate in your pussy. 
“Fuck”, he growls, hips stuttering for a moment, “your pussy’s good, all nice and tight for me”, he drags his hand down your thigh, throwing his head back, “taking my cock so well.” 
He rolls his thumb and speeds up, fucking your juices in and out of you. Skin slaps against skin, the bed creaks, the headboard bangs against the wall. You are close to screaming, luckily the music is loud enough to hide your noises. 
“Isn’t that so much better? Us fucking like that and not having to pretend to hate each other?” he pants, voice croaky in arousal. 
“Yeah, yeah, Seokjin, fuck”, you moan, nails hurting from twisting the sheets so roughly, “I’m gonna cum!” 
“Do it”, he orders in a growl, playing your body like an instrument, “I want to feel you clench around me.” 
“Yes. Yes. Oh god. Yes!” you pant, coming undone in a series of curses and squeaky moans. Your body convulses, fighting against Seokjins cock and yet at same time it sucks him in deeper. He is an intruder and your savior at the same time. There at the end of your symphony of colours you can see a bright light. 
“Urgh”, Seokjin grunts and then your clenching gets too much for him. He cums in a guttural moan, fucking into you deep and fast. Despite the condom protecting you, you can feel his warm cum filling it up to the brim. 
One last shake of yours legs, one last buck of his hips and then he pulls out, putting your legs down gently. Once the condom is discarded of in poor Jimins open waste bin, Seokjin sits down next you. 
“Damn”, he falls down on the mattress, making your head bounce up at the movement, “I’m spent.” 
“Agreed”, you pant, staring at the ceiling with glassy eyes. You aren’t crying, you just do not want to blink as this would require far too much energy. 
“So? You liked it?” he asks, rolling his head to the side. He studies your side profile, drinking in the way your face is just so perfectly heated. 
You nod your head, “yeah, I gotta say, you really live up to your reputation.” 
“Ha! I knew it”, he exclaims. 
You look at him, right eyebrow cocked up in slight judgment. 
Seokjin grins sheepishly, “no, on a serious note, I liked it too. You’re really hot.” 
“Thanks”, you say, smiling lazily. 
Seokjin returns it before he looks back up at the ceiling. 
“So what do you have planned now?” 
You look back up at the ceiling as well. 
“I don’t know, honestly I’m probably gonna go home and watch a movie instead.” 
“Sounds fun.” 
“What are you gonna do now?” 
Seokjin shrugs his shoulders. 
“I don’t know”, he tilts his head to the side, “weird, but I also have this big desire to go home and watch a movie. Huh.” 
He turns his head to you, staring at you intensely. You look at him. 
“What?” 
“I think you just cured my mood for party with your TWP”, he says, smirking. 
“Imma regret asking, but. TWP?” 
“Tight Wet Pussy”, he says, wiggling his eyebrows. 
You burst into laughter. 
“I gotta give you this one. This was hilarious.” 
311 notes · View notes
nestors-whore · 2 months ago
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Clowning Around - Part 2
Nestor Oceteva x Harley Quinn crossover
Warnings: bad language
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Harley didn’t have a car after crashing her last one into a candy store when she spotted a mega lollipop for sale. She had left the car wedged in the shop window and dragged the giant sweet along the street with her. It had taken her and Bruce two weeks to lick through but it was worth it.
Stepping out of the bar she saw a line up of motorcycles and an Escalade. Skipping along with Bruce at her side she went to the SUV and swung the door open and let the hyena up first.
“What the fuck, no. That thing rides in the back or on the roof.” Nestor growled as he stepped up to the door. “He’ll scratch the leather.”
Harley pouted at the man and twirled the ends of his braids in her fingers. With her best attempt at puppy eyes she battered her eyelashes at him sweetly.
“Pwetty pweaseeee.” She begged. “His nails are trimmed. We had a mani/pedi day just last week.”
Nestor looked at the hyena sitting up on the back seat and saw the animal’s claws had been painted red and blue and were rounded off too. He pressed his palm to his temple, trying to figure out how he got roped into this. With a huff he looked at Marcus and shook his head exasperated but dropped the subject with a sharp nod. Harley clapped her hands excitedly and grabbed his cheeks before planting a big kiss on his stunned lips.
“Oh isn’t he sweet!” She grinned to the other men. “I think that’s the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me. He’s an angel!”
“Are we talking about the same man that beat a nun to death with a bat?” Angel asked.
“You did what!” Harley shouted at Nestor and he flinched as the loudness and high pitch sound so close to him.
Instead of lashing out like he thought she would, she jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. Automatically his hands fell to her ass to catch her and she kissed him again. This time was far more heated as he felt her tongue along his lips and opened them for her. Her fingernails dug into his shoulder as she held him pinned by them and he groaned at the feeling. When she pulled away she was grinning wide and her lipstick was smudged over both their faces.
“No, we can’t kill him.” She said to no one. “He’s perfect.” She paused as she tilted her head towards the imaginary voice and shook her head. “I don’t care about the rest.”
“Fucking great Bishop, you’re gonna get us all killed.” Angel said throwing his hands in the air.
“We’re dead without her help anyway.” The president shrugged and swung his leg over his motorbike. “Let’s go before the cops arrive. Bring her to the clubhouse tomorrow.”
“What?” Nestor asked dumbfounded as he still held Harley where she was around his waist. “What do I do with her in the meantime?”
“I’m sure you can figure something out.” Bishop chuckled before the sound drowned out by the motorcycles starting. “Have a good night!”
“Oh it’s gonna be soooo good! We will have so much fun. We can totally do something with your hair.” She said as she turned his head side to side.
“You’re not touching the hair.” He said depositing her on the ground. “Get in the car.”
“Ay Ay captain.” She said mockingly before pointing a finger at him. “Did you know you have Antisocial Personality Disorder? Were your parents alcoholics or were you abused as a child? You can trust me, I’m a doctor.”
“Get in the car.” He said through gritted teeth wondering how he was going to make it through the night.
Not an hour later, Nestor was laying on his couch, head on Harley’s lap as she brushed his long hair out. His hiccups had quietened down along with the tears but the salty streaks along his face showed they had been there.
“You need to take back your control.” Harley said as she snipped away at his hair before brushing it again. “You are not your parents and what they forced you to see as a child doesn’t define you. Be your own man and do what you want.”
“It’s not that easy. I have loyalties to Mikey, I can’t just leave.” He said staring at the ceiling but not seeing it.
“Where are his loyalties to you? He killed your friend, someone he too called a friend.” Reminding him that he told her about Paco’s execution. “Do you think he would have spared you?”
Before he could answer the kitchen timer went off alerting Harley that the hour was up and Nestor shook his head. He shot up from her lap and rubbed his face feeling where he had cried and looked at Harley wide eyed.
“What the fuck did you do to me?” He growled.
“Hypnotise you.” She grinned. “Don’t you feel better getting that off your chest? Now don’t worry, client-patient confidentiality means I can’t tell your boss you want to quit.”
“What? I don’t want to quit.” He spluttered.
“Yeah, you do.” She said nodding and brushing the hair clippings off her lap.
He saw the dark hair fall to the floor and reached up to touch his and found it above shoulders instead of below his shoulder blades. He stood up from the couch and paced around his living room before grabbing his keys and pulling his jacket on.
“Go.” He ordered as he opened the door to the garage.
Harley got up from the couch looking like she was going to cry and he felt slightly bad but pushed it away. He looked around the space but couldn’t see the hyena anywhere so he left the room and went down his hallway.
“Harley!” He yelled and jumped as he saw she was standing right behind him. “Get Bruce off my bed before he finds a bullet in his brain.”
“That’s a lot of alliteration.” She giggled. “Like she sells seashells by the sea shore. Try that one!”
“HARLEY!”
She clicked her tongue and leant around Nestor to see her baby spread leisurely across the top of his king bed.
“Brucey baby, come give momma a kiss.” She called and the hyena rolled up to jump down and padded over to her before licking her face.
She laughed as she received the smooches from her baby but behind her Nestor was cringing as he remembered where his own tongue was not too long ago. Shaking the feeling away he turned and went to the garage waiting for Harley to follow. She let the hyena in the backseat before climbing in the front and buckling up.
“Where we going?” She asked as she pressed all the buttons on the console. “Can we get White Castle? I’ll just die if I don’t get a chicken and waffle slider.”
After a detour to White Castle Nestor pulled up at the clubhouse. A handful of motorcycles were still in the yard as he turned off his headlights and got out. Harley followed behind slurping her large thick shake and tossing fries to Bruce. The door to the clubhouse opened before they could even get up the step and Bishop stood there with a quirked eyebrow.
“The hell happened to you?” Bishop asked as he saw Nestor’s hair cut to different lengths and unbraided for the first time.
“You gotta watch her.” He begged the president. “I just can’t.”
“She’s an adult not a fucking toddler. How hard can it be?” He asked back.
“Guess you’ll find out.” Nestor replied backing away to his car and climbing in before putting the window down. “Good luck.”
Angel had come to join Bishop on the porch as the SUV sped away and Ez, having heard the noise, came out of his trailer.
“Right, you and Boy Scout are on baby sitting duty.” Bishop said shaking his head. “I’m going home.”
“But...”
“Bish...”
Both men spoke at the same time not wanting to be left in charge of that responsibility. With a groan at the glare their president gave them they looked down and nodded. The president walked down the stairs bidding Harley a goodnight before riding off out the gates too.
“Do you want a drink?” Ez asked as he walked up to the clubhouse.
“That is a good idea, honey.” She grinned. “And...we should play a game.”
Click here for part 3.
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deepdarkdelights · 2 months ago
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Solar Eclipse (Hoseok x Reader)
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Pairing: Hoseok x Reader
Word Count: 16.9k
Warnings: 18+, Yandere, Stalking, Obsession, Forced Relationships, Fear, Panic/Anxiety, Devious Intentions, Talks about Mental Health, Mentions of Suicide, Dub Con, Forced Implants, Death, The Afterlife, Heights, Jumping from Heights
I do not condone the acts displayed in this story nor do I believe any members of BTS would actually engage in this type of behavior. This is simply written for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as a reflection of my own values, opinions, or morals. 
Preview:  His smile drifted away, it was like watching the moon slip over the sun into a solar eclipse. The Hoseok you were left with was one that had a cold, stricken expression that bled disbelief.
This look on his face, although more genuine than anything else you had seen, was capable of sending your entire body into a panicked frenzy. Something in the back of your mind was telling you, no, begging you to run. The instincts that had been fostered in you from generations before were telling you this man was dangerous, and you were better off fleeing than sticking around to see what would happen. 
“I dare you, say that to me one more time baby and you won’t like what happens next.”
A/N: This was supposed to be 10k...how did we get here. This story was heavily inspired by Beautiful Accident and Wonderful Nightmare! Both amazing movies I recommend that never fail to get me in my feels. I hope you enjoy this wild ride! See you in the comments! 💜💜💜
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Your hands were hurting again.
The light from your computer screen was blaringly bright, causing you to momentarily cease your endless scrolling and remove your glasses from the bridge of your nose. You pressed your cool fingers against the warm flesh of your eyelids and tilted your head back against your seat, giving yourself a moment to relax. 
The once cacophonous tapping of another keyboard suddenly halted as your assistant leaned forward in her seat, sliding her laptop shut. 
“You okay, boss?” She asked, her brows pinched together in concern. “Is it a migraine again?”
You exhaled deeply through your nose as you flexed your fingers in an attempt to dispel the ache from them. You were far too young to already be experiencing so many aches and pains. 
“No, I’m just tired.” You admitted as you folded your glasses up and pushed them aside. 
“That’s because you work too much, honestly do you ever sleep? When was the last time you went home?” She chuckled in amusement.
“Ha ha ha, very funny. I’ll have you know I’m faithful to my sleep number, I come home to him every night.” 
“Him? You refer to your mattress as him? Somebody hasn’t gotten laid in a while.” She snorted. 
“I could have you fired for that, that’s sexual harassment you know.” You shot back, amused yet annoyed she had hit a little too close to home. 
“Please, you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if you fired me.” She laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
Before you could shoot back your response, an abrupt knock on the door stopped the both of you in your tracks. Without saying anything, she rose from her seat and began to cross the room. Knowing she would be able to handle it for you, you reclined deeper into your office chair and slipped your phone out of your desk drawer to sort through your endless amount of notifications. 
You didn’t look up as you heard the door click shut, two sets of footsteps approaching your mahogany desk. 
You could hear somebody clear their throat, their breaths coming out rapidly as if they were anxious. “Y-your coffee, miss.”
Without looking up you merely held out your hand, the warm cup slotting itself into your waiting fingers. You mumbled out a rough thanks as you continued to scroll through your phone, rolling your eyes at the amount of missed calls you had from your mother who, despite knowing your work schedule, persisted in calling you during your office hours. 
You could faintly hear your assistant walking the man to the door, whispering a soft, “Thank you, sweetie,” as the door clicked shut. 
“Really?!” She hissed, once she was sure the man was gone. “You didn’t even look at him!”
“Who? The coffee boy? I didn’t think it mattered.” You said with a shrug, taking a sip from your coffee.
“That wasn’t a coffee boy! That was your intern, jackass!”
“He’s just an intern, Jenny, he won’t be here for long. None of them last around here anyways.” 
Jenny sighed, flopping down into the seat across from you with a pout. “The poor thing was so nervous, you really should be nicer to him. He has such a sweet smile…”
“Oh no, don’t you start one of your schemes again. I don’t have time for men and the last thing I need is for you to start playing cupid. And didn’t I tell you to stop hiring people just because they're attractive?”
“Sweetie, I don’t know if you’re aware, but you're not as young as you think you are. When are you going to settle down, huh? Find a husband, have some cute kids for me to dote on.” 
“Jesus, you’re starting to sound like my mother. I don’t have the time for marriage or for kids, not when I’m busy with this place.” You replied with a stiff tone, this was not the first time the two of you had this conversation. 
“I’m just saying you’re hot, rich, and a CEO, you could literally have any man you want.” She pointed out, the tips of her fingers pressing together in the shape of an arrow. 
“You literally just called me a Sugar Momma.” 
“I mean, they do have websites if you're interested…”
“Okay, you win, I’m leaving early. I can’t deal with your obnoxious ass anymore.” You said, standing up so quickly your chair shot back and turned on its wheels. 
“Jenny: 72, You: None.” Your assistant laughed, adding a point to her imaginary scoreboard.
“I was going to say call me if you need anything, but please don’t.” You chuckled, grabbing your blazer from the coat rack and sliding it around your shoulders before picking up your purse. 
“Don’t worry boss, I’ll hold down the fort.” She said, giving you a quick salute as she stood and began to gather her things. “Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.”
You pressed your lips together tightly in an attempt to hide the hint of a smile on your mouth as she exited your office. She was the only person you talked to like that, you were a rather antisocial boss. You tended to come off as cold and callous to your employees, but in reality you just really didn’t like talking to others when it wasn’t necessary. It had taken four years for you and Jenny to become as close as you did, in fact she was the only person you could truly call your friend. 
You had grown up in an isolated world, one filled with tutors and home schooling as you were groomed to take over one of the branches of your family's business. You had siblings, but you rarely ever saw them. They too were consumed by their work and their families, in fact you were the youngest of them and couldn’t remember a time where all of you lived together in one household. There were four of you in total, you only saw each other at holidays and your parents annual Christmas gala. You were by no means close.
You had grown comfortable being alone and frigid. It was safe and it was efficient. 
Your entire life had been one of isolation, the only amount of warmth bleeding into the bleak monotone schemes of your world was Jenny. And the amount you had let in was minimal. 
It was better being alone, you told yourself. 
You adjusted your purse on your shoulder as your office door swung shut behind you. The building was still fairly active, everyone was in a rush to complete their work before the sun completely dipped below the horizon. That was something you enjoyed about your building. The walls were littered with floor to ceiling windows allowing the ochre tones of sunlight to bleed into the bright white and concrete interior, soft dappled light dancing over hard edges. 
You paused for a moment by the windows, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt the warmth of the sun caress your face, its fleeting light still permeable through your closed eyelids creating a golden halo in your vision. You gave yourself two breaths worth of silence and stillness before your eyes snapped open once more and you hastily made your way to the elevator that would send you to your floor of the parking garage. 
You waited patiently for the elevator, one of your legs extended in front of you as you rolled your foot from side to side on the precarious talon of your red bottom heels. Once you heard the doors sliding open and the familiar ding of the elevator you raised your chin slowly, your eyes half lidded in boredom as you met the expressions of your employees. There were two of them inside the metal contraption, their eyes wide in alarm at the sight of you. You tilted your head slightly to the side, and like you had cracked a whip they scuttled out of the elevator and hurried past you without a word. 
You huffed in annoyance to yourself as you headed inside, you had no idea what their problem was and you pondered if there was any reason to write them up for their bizarre behavior. Perhaps not. 
The elevator hummed as it steadily dropped floors, the soft music effectively worsening your mood. You hated elevator music. 
As soon as the doors slid open you jetted out of them, your heels tapping noisily in the quiet garage. You slid your bag from your shoulder and busied yourself by trying to find your keys. You hissed to yourself as you tripped and almost went flying, multitasking and heels did not go together. You stopped for a moment, opening your bag wider as you tried to find the little ring of keys buried in the depths of your purse. 
The second your fingers brushed the cool metal you released an annoyed breath, throwing your purse back over your shoulder as you flicked through your key ring, grasping the fob that went to your car.
Despite having what you had previously been looking for, you did not move. Instead, you looked around warily, pivoting on your heels as you scanned the area around you.
You could have sworn you heard footsteps.
You waited silently for a few more moments, listening for signs that another person was there with you. 
You heard no other breaths, nor the sounds of approaching or retreating footsteps.
You weren’t going to wait around any longer just to find out you were wrong. 
You swiftly made your way to your VIP parking spot, unlocked the doors, and threw yourself into the car while making sure to lock the doors as soon as you were seated. 
Your mother had begged you for months to get a bodyguard. You were a young woman with lots of money and the heir to a massive enterprise. You should not be walking around as if you were a normal person. It was only now that you were beginning to think that your mother was right. 
Not wanting to dwell on dark thoughts any longer, you pushed your key into the ignition, and peeled out of the parking garage a little faster than normal. 
As your anxiety slowly drained from your body, you began to feel the effects of lack of sleep. Jenny was not wrong, you were considering the fact that maybe you had a touch of insomnia. Either that or you were simply a workaholic. Honestly, it could be both. 
You switched the radio on, picking a classic rock station and dialing the volume up to the point you could feel your leather seats vibrating beneath you with each clash of the drums emanating from the speakers. 
But even that was just barely doing its job. Your eyes were still stinging like they had been moments before at your desk. You were undeniably as exhausted as you were a safety hazard. You clenched the steering wheel harder, the flesh of your skin pulling tightly over your knuckles as you attempted to stay awake. It wasn’t that far of a ride, you could make it home. 
But that thought didn’t stop your eyelids from drooping shut, it was nearly impossible to keep them open, they were so heavy you were struggling to reopen them every time you blinked. 
Your eyes stayed closed much longer now than they had before, and upon opening them again a scream of shock bubbled up your throat. 
A flash of black fur shot across your narrow vision as you frantically spun the steering wheel and slammed on your breaks. A band of horns beeped behind and beside you as you swerved dramatically into the next lane.
Your car had been mere inches from swerving right in front of an eighteen wheeler. 
Your hand fluttered frantically against your chest, your heart pounding back against it in shock. 
You had almost died. 
You gathered yourself up before stomping down on the accelerator and speeding away, dodging the massive vehicle you had almost hit in the opposite lane. The shock of adrenaline you were experiencing from that frightening event was more than enough to keep you awake now. You only had one goal in mind and that was to make it home in one piece. 
The minute you slid back into your regular parking spot you allowed yourself to slump back into the driver's seat, blinking wildly as you recalled the sight of the headlights and the cacophony of car horns from moments prior. You really need to get your shit together. 
~~~~~~~
By the time you made it up to your apartment the exhaustion had returned full force. You toed off your shoes tiredly, stumbling over them with an annoyed grunt as you threw your purse down to the floor. You could really do without your sudden lack of coordination. 
Far too tired to even care, you immediately began stripping your clothes off at the front door. You carelessly threw your blazer aside and shimmied off your skirt as you began to walk, leaving a trail of clothes behind you as you headed for your bedroom. The housekeeper would deal with it in the morning anyways, it didn’t matter where they ended up. 
Your pajamas from the previous night were waiting for you at the foot of your bed, folded up into a neat little pile contrasting greatly from your current care for your clothing. You happily sighed as you pulled the creamy, cashmere sweater over your head and stepped into a pair of silk sleep shorts. This was what you had been waiting for all day. 
That, and the bottle of Cheval Blanc tucked away in your liquor cabinet. 
You ran your fingers through your hair tiredly as you made your way to the kitchen, the sound of your bare feet patting against the floor echoed down the long, empty hallway. 
You wasted no time, eagerly pulling open your cabinet and retrieving the expensive bottle of wine along with a crystal glass. You eased the cork free from the bottle, allowing it to roll over your granite counter as you poured the wine into your glass, the liquor bubbling as you filled it to the very top. You were a guilty self medicator, that was for damn sure. 
You hurried back into your living room, wine glass in one hand and a small tray of macarons in the other. There was one thing you were certain of, you were definitely going to drink your fatigue away and indulge in your favorite cookies until you passed out on your couch. You deserved it, after all you were a CEO, an overworked one at that. 
So, there you sat, taking languid sips from your glass and delicate bites from your cookies as you began to catch up on a show you hadn’t had the time to watch in weeks. It was incredibly relaxing, the soft hum of the TV, the feeling of your favorite blanket wrapped around your bare legs, and the soft tapping of rain against your windows. You were set on not moving for the rest of the night. That was of course, until you had to pee.
You groaned in frustration at the thought of having to move, but the call of nature was much stronger than your will to remain sedentary. You leaned forward, setting your food and drink on the coffee table before you violently kicked your legs, fighting your blanket as you attempted to untangle yourself from it. 
The second your toes touched the lush carpet beneath you, a shock of lightning suddenly splintered it’s way through the sky, shards of light refracting through your windows and lighting up the dim room. The soft rumble of thunder followed soon after. 
You froze at the sight, the light rain still tapped against your windows, a dull contrast to the sudden shock of light you had witnessed.
But, what was even more unexpected, was the sight of dark fur and glowing jade eyes staring back at you. There was a cat sitting on your balcony. That should have been impossible, there was no possible way that cat could have made its way there, your building was pet free. 
The sight of its slick coat of black fur tugged at your heart strings. He must be so cold, stuck out in the rain like that. In fact, he looked almost exactly like your childhood cat you had loved to dearly growing up. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to let him in, let him get dry and warm and fill his belly. 
With a new goal in mind you carefully made your way to your sliding glass door, not wanting to spook him too badly lest he jump. The drop would not be a survivable one. 
Despite your valiant efforts, the minute the door clicked and slid open he jumped up onto the fencing and rails that surrounded your balcony. 
“Hey, no, no, no, just stay right there, kitty.” You cooed gently, taking slow and careful steps in his direction. 
The cat fixed you with a penetrating gaze, his bright jade eyes trained on you, watching every step you made as his tail flicked from side to side behind him. 
“That’s a good boy, just stay right there.” You hummed, your hands held up in a show of no malintent as you carefully approached him. “Come on, I just want to help you.”
Just as you were within grabbing reach, your fingers mere inches from touching his silken fur, he lept away, settling on the ledge against the building. He was dangerously close to falling off, the distance from the ledge to the ground far enough to make your toes and fingers tingle. 
“Fuck.” You hissed. 
The cat remained there, his gaze still trained on you. Those bright eyes seemed to be beckoning for you to come and join him, to meet him up on the ledge. 
You quickly shook out your hands and feet as you stared back, your vision tunneling in on him. You could feel the cold air nipping at your bare flesh, goosebumps raising on the skin of your thighs. You could do it. 
You wiped your palms against the fabric of your shorts before grasping the metal railing and carefully lowering yourself over to the other side. You could feel the wind stronger now as it swirled around you, a flash of light overtaking the sky once more as a steady rumble of thunder bounced off of the surrounding buildings. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” You mumbled to yourself, taking in a sharp breath through your nose as you attempted to calm yourself. Just don’t look down, for the love of all that is holy do not look down.
You steadily rose up on to your toes, shimming your way over as you held on tightly to the railing. The sliver of stone beneath your toes was slick from rainfall, as was the metal of the railing beneath your tense fingers. The closer you got to the cat, the further away it seemed to be, either that was the truth or the reality of how high up you were was messing with your head.
The thought you had from earlier suddenly came rushing back to you, the drop wouldn’t be survivable. What a sobering thought. 
You had come to a point now where you wouldn’t be able to hold onto the railing anymore, not if you needed to be able to reach the cat. So, with a shaky breath you released your grip from the railing one hand at a time and quickly latched onto the stone architecture surrounding the windows. The only thing keeping you from falling was the tiny inches of stone beneath your arched feet, and the architecture you were desperately clinging to. 
You slowly turned your head, your gaze meeting the cat’s once more. It’s eyes were almost mesmerizing, there was something about it that was telling you that you needed to get him, that you just needed to pick him up and stay with him. You had no choice but to retrieve him, you felt like you would die if you had to leave him all alone on this ledge. His eyes were drawing you in, causing you to spiral downwards into their hypnotic depths. You needed him. 
He was not moving anymore, he was settled down on his back legs, his tail flicking out dangerously over the edge of the building. You were certain that you could reach him if you tried. 
You slowly lowered yourself into a crouch, releasing your one hand from the side of the building as you reached out, the other hand still holding onto the stone of the window. You leaned forward as calmly as you could, your arm burning from the stretch as you slid over slightly to grab the cat. 
This time the cat did not move away, it remained still, waiting for your touch. 
Both of your arms were completely spread out, your fingers just barely holding onto the building as you finally made it within grabbing distance. And then, it all fell apart.
As soon as your fingers brushed his midnight fur, he jerked away from your touch causing your feet to slip out from underneath you, and your weak hold to completely detach from the wall. 
And then you were falling.
A violent scream ripped its way free from your throat as you went airborne, the last thing you could see was the penetrating emerald glare of the midnight black cat as you plummeted towards the ground. 
No one would know that you had never intended to end your life when you stepped out onto that ledge.
Unwillingly, you had. 
~~~~~~~
You never felt the impact of the ground, and when you opened your eyes you did not find your body mangled or feel any pain. In fact you were no longer even in the city. 
You were already standing, and you were all alone. You turned frantically, spinning as you tried to find out where you were. There was nothing all around you, just cloudy skies, stretching fields of tall grass, old dilapidated fences, and a dusty road of dirt and rocks beneath your feet.
And then of course, there was the bus stop sign beside you. 
You approached the sign in curiosity. The closer you got the more you noticed how strange everything was. Despite there being stones beneath your feet you didn’t feel pain, and the environment wasn’t cold or hot, it was just neutral. And, it was extremely silent. Not a gust of wind blew, no crickets hummed, and there wasn’t a single chirp from a songbird. There was nothing. 
You leaned your upper body forward, looking from side to side for any signs of life. Both ways you could barely see anything, the field seemed to disappear into thick clouds of fog that were impermeable to your sight. 
You decided in that moment you were better off looking for signs of life than you were waiting for them to come find you. But, to your surprise, the second your foot touched down onto the dirt road a bus came rumbling down the road and screeched to a stop in front of you. 
The doors slid open and light flooded the space around you. You squinted as your eyes adjusted to the exposure, your hand creating a visor on your forehead. 
“You getting on or what?” A voice called from inside the bus. 
“Me?” You asked pointing to yourself.
“Of course you, does it look like I’m talking to anyone else?” The voice huffed in annoyance. “I’m already running late. I'd prefer if you didn’t hold us up any longer.”
“Running late?” You whispered to yourself. “And where will you be taking me?” 
There was silence for a moment and then suddenly a raucous laughter that made you jump. “Where am I taking you?! That’s a good one. Come on, let's go.”
You blinked slowly in irritation, the last thing you needed was to be laughed at and dismissed like a child when you had serious questions that you needed answered. 
“Come on newbie! Today!” He yelled, causing you to jump in fright before scurrying onto the bus. 
Upon entering you were met face to face with the bus driver. He had fair skin and pitch black hair with an amused, gummy smile on his face. Apparently, he thought you were hilarious. He said nothing to you this time, he just merely jerked his head in the direction behind him, signaling for you to find a seat. 
Once you turned to face the passengers of the bus you realized it was far longer than it appeared from the outside, in fact it looked like it stretched farther beyond what you could see with copious amounts of passengers. 
The passengers themselves were of all sizes, races, and ages. You could see mothers holding infants and elderly couples cuddled up to one another. Some people seemed to know one another, others looked sad and lonely like the little boy a few seats back. 
You were incredibly confused. 
Unsure as to where you should sit, you finally decided on sitting next to the little boy. 
The second you sat down, you felt his gaze train on you and his little body shift closer to you. 
“Hi,” He whispered, his fingers curling around the fabric of your cashmere sweater and tugging, “My name is Minho.”
You have him a soft smile in return with a gentle whisper of your name. 
“Where’s your mommy, Minho?” You asked, curious as to why this little boy was all alone. 
“I’m going to meet her now.” He replied, with an excited smile, his legs kicking out energetically before he suddenly calmed down. “I wish daddy came with me.”
“Why didn’t your daddy come with you?” You asked, your eyebrows pinching together in confusion. 
“He said I had to go alone, he can’t come with me for a while. He said I’ll be happy with mommy, that I’ll feel better with her.” He said sadly, his lower lip pouting as he rubbed at his teary eyes. 
“You’ll feel better?”
“Mhm, I was sick for a long time. Daddy said it was time for me to see Mommy, he told me it was okay to go to sleep.”
Oh, oh no. Everything was suddenly starting to make sense. You quickly looked over your shoulder and caught sight of the elderly couple you had seen earlier. 
“Hey! You two! What were you doing before you got here?!”
The older man looked up at you with a kind smile as he continued to rub his wife’s shoulder. “We were driving down to visit our son, he was never too good about coming up to see us. Some bad weather hit, we couldn’t see out of the windshield very well. Next thing you know we’re rolling over the guard rail and down the side of the hill!”
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
“You! Where were you?!” You yelled at the woman seated across from you. 
“Hm? I went in for surgery, what’s it to you?” She asked with an annoyed grimace on her face. 
“What’s it to me?!” You echoed with a hysterical laugh. You were fucking dead that’s what it was! All of you were!
Your thoughts were racing a hundred miles a minute as you tried to gather yourself, your heart beating frantically as a sick feeling settled in your stomach. You needed to get off the bus, you needed to get far away from all of these people. 
Without thinking you lurched to your feet and gripped the cord above your window, yanking it harshly to signal the bus to stop. 
The bus halted immediately, sending you stumbling forward into the back of the driver’s seat. The bus driver met your panicked face through the reflection of the mirror, a curious light to his pitch black irises. 
“So, we’ve got a challenger? I knew you’d be a stubborn one.” He sighed, hitting the button that sent the doors swishing open. “The guy in charge is out there, you can voice your complaints to him.”
You were far too shocked to vocalize anything, your feet just blindly leading you to the doors. You stopped for a moment, looking over your shoulder to get one quick look at Minho. His little legs were still kicking out in front of him.
“Bye miss!” He called with a little wave and a smile, spurring you off the bus with a quick wave in his direction.
Upon stepping foot off of the bus, you were faced with a dimly lit four way intersection that looked like it had been abandoned for years. You quickly headed towards the center of the road as you caught sight of a tall man waiting for you. 
His face was relaxed, a neutral expression taking over his features. He was dressed fairly well for a man standing in the middle of nowhere. You took notice of his crisp three piece suit and the high shine of his shoes. He was obviously someone who was important, if the bus driver had indicated anything by his statements.  
You didn’t waste any time to hurl your questions at him. “I’m dead aren’t I?! Who are you?! What is this place?!”
“Relax.” He commanded, his voice immediately sending a wave of calmness crashing down over you. 
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, before reopening them and waiting in silence for his response. 
“My name is Namjoon, this is the crossroads.” He said, gesturing to the four intersecting roads surrounding you. 
“That is Life,” He said, pointing to the road behind you, “That is Punishment,” the road to his right, “That is Reward,” the road behind him, “And that is Retrial.” The road to his left. 
“Right, that’s fantastic, how do I go back down that road.” You blurted out, pointing to the road behind you.
“Normally, you don’t. But luckily for you, or not so luckily, there was an error made.”
“An error?” You asked. 
“Yes, one of our reapers made a mistake. You aren’t scheduled for processing for quite some time, someone by the same name, sixty years of age, was scheduled for processing today.”
A reaper? What reaper? You hadn’t exactly seen the classic skeletal face cloaked all in black with a scythe in hand had you? Your face screwed up in irritation as you flicked backwards through your memories from earlier that day, trying to remember if you had seen anything that remotely resembled a reaper. 
And then it hit you. 
“That fucking cat!” You screeched, spinning around as you dramatically yelled into the void around you. 
Namjoon winced his posture slightly wilting at your realization. “Yes, that was one of our newer reapers, Taehyung.”
“What kind of operation are you running here? Do I look like I’m sixty years old to you?” You yelled, the panic quelling up in your chest. “You’re going to fix this aren’t you?!”
“Of course! I take my job very seriously!” He shot back. “The only issue is, I can’t send you back to your life just yet.”
“And why not?!”
“Time is a very sensitive and precious thing, as a woman of business I am sure you understand. The other woman still needs to pass and be processed, the events that lead to her demise must be tailored perfectly and set up with the correct timing. Only then can you return, once she is passed with the correct timing the two of you will switch. You can live again and she can be sent down the proper road.” 
“And how long will that take?”
“A few weeks.” He replied vaguely, his body tensed as he waited for your response.
“Weeks?! And what will I do during that time? Do you expect me to follow you around everywhere?”
“Thankfully, no. In the time being, I will have to put you somewhere else, some other place and time. Are you willing to do that?”
“Yes, I’m more than willing. As long as I get my old life back, I don’t care what it takes. Just make it happen.”
“You will, in due time. But listen to me very carefully, you have to follow every aspect of this other life perfectly. You cannot act out of character, you have to act exactly as everyone expects you to. You cannot have contact with anyone from your previous life as well. Understand? If you can’t do that, then you can’t go back.”
You swallowed harshly, a sense of anxiety creeping up inside of you. You had no choice but to accept, your life and had been wrongfully ended far too soon. If that meant doing whatever Namjoon asked of you, you would do it. 
You gave him a swift nod, your hand clenching up into fists.
“Perfect, I’ll have Taehyung escort you down that way.” Namjoon replied, pointing down at the road to his left, Retrial.
Upon hearing his name, Taehyung appeared. He was tall, with honey skin, midnight black curly hair, and bright green eyes. 
The fucking cat. 
Taehyung met you with a sheepish grin and an embarrassed wave, hesitantly coming to your side. He looked nothing like the reaper you had been anticipating. If anything he was a sad excuse for a reaper with the bashful attitude he was presenting you with. 
“Did you really have to use the appearance of my childhood pet to kill me?” You asked, your voice dripping with venom as you crossed your arms over your chest, your bare foot tapping in annoyance. You weren’t exactly the picture of intimidation you normally were.
“I’m sorry.” He replied softly, bowing his head forward in an apologetic manner still refusing to meet your burning gaze.
“I’ll be checking in with you every now and then, please, try to play along with this life.” Namjoon begged, a serious expression evident on his face. Not only did he appear serious, but you could tell he  was also stressed. The fuck up Taehyung had made was evidently a big one. 
“I’ll try my best.” You replied, you knew you had to, or else there was no going back. 
Namjoon gave Taehyung a quick nod, and with that gesture Taehyung grabbed hold of your hand and began to lead you down Retrial. From your perspective, each road was identical, this one too was dusty and littered with stones leading into a seemingly never ending fog. 
The reaper beside you was quiet, his gaze pinned ahead as he focused on his task, leading you down the path of Retrial. 
If only you had known how much of a trial this life truly would be. 
~~~~~~~
You were boiling hot. 
You could feel a mattress beneath your back, one that was far softer than you normally liked. Your body was swaddled with thick blankets and sheets that were sticking to your sweaty skin. You groaned in irritation at the feeling and attempted to bat away the blanket and turn onto your side. 
A sudden grunt behind you had your heart stuttering to a stop, your entire body frozen as you came to the realization that that was not a blanket you had just smacked, but somebody's arm wrapped around your waist. 
Slowly, you turned onto your side to see who was in your bed. The moment you flipped your body over you were met with deep brown eyes that were just barely open and the sight of a lazy smile as your body was suddenly dragged forward and pressed tightly against the strangers. 
A sharp scream bubbled up past your lips as you threw yourself backwards, smacking the man’s hand away from your body as you fumbled out of the bed. In your haste your foot was caught in the mess of blankets, sending you tumbling backwards off of the bed, spurring another cry from your mouth. 
“Baby?” A voice called, it was raspy and deep from just waking and wrought with concern. 
You quickly yanked the sheets off of your sprawled out form and ushered yourself to stand on shaky legs. The man in the bed was propped up on one elbow, the sheet slipping down off of his chest to settle and pool at his waist. He was absolutely shirtless, revealing a stretch of honey skin and a toned abdomen. 
Holy shit, what the fuck was going on?
“Baby, what’s wrong?” He asked you again, this time he appeared to be more alert, all signs of sleepiness dissipating from his body. 
Worried from your lack of response, he rushed to stand up, the blankets falling away to reveal he was clad in boxers. 
What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck? It had to be illegal to have thighs like that, right?
“Stay right there!” You yelled, throwing your hand up in fear as he ignored your command and quickly began to approach you. The closer he got the more steps you took backwards, tripping over stray clothes on the floor until the wall at your back stopped you from retreating any further. 
The man, clearly ignoring your pleas to be left alone, walked right up to you. He was so close that his bare chest was pressed up against you effectively sandwiching you between him and the wall as heat flooded your cheeks. His hands fluttered around you worriedly, checking you for any signs of injury before he rested his hand on your forehead checking for a temperature. 
“Are you sick, hunny? You’re acting...off?” He asked, petting your hair in anxiety as he tried to meet your gaze. 
“Don’t touch me.” You finally said, brushing his hands off of you once more as you attempted to slip away from him. 
“Why are you acting like this?” He asked, obviously confused before a sudden smile overtook his features. He had a sweet smile, one that made his entire face light up in joy. “It reminds me how you used to act around me all those years ago. Are you trying to get me going this early? We really shouldn’t, you know, I have to be at work soon.”
Holy fuck, what kind of person are you now? 
The man in front of you pulled you out of your stupor at the feeling of his hand on your jaw as he leaned down to your height. 
Realizing what his intentions were, you let out another scream of fright and shoved him away, darting for the bedroom door. As soon as your hand gripped the doorknob you ripped the door open and slammed it shut behind you. 
You leaned your head back against the wall as you rested, you hand over your heart, taking shallow breaths as you attempted to collect yourself. 
That didn’t exactly go as planned.
With your eyes closed you didn’t see the incoming form running up to you until it collided with your legs, winding around you tightly in excitement. 
“Mommy!” A little voice cried. 
Your eyes snapped open in surprise as you looked down at the little child wrapped around your legs. Despite his small and non threatening form, you couldn’t stop the scream of fright that escaped you as you unlatched him from your legs and raced to the first open door you saw, yanking it closed behind you and twisting the lock shut. 
You were in the bathroom. Finally, a place where you could gather yourself. You stood at the sink, resting your forearms on the counter and your head in your hands as you breathed in sharply through your nose. You needed to get your shit together and stop panicking. 
You couldn’t help but feel cheated, panicked, and pissed all at once. Not only had you died, made a deal with some crossroads entity, but now the life you had been plopped in for the time being was the complete opposite of your previous one and you had not a single clue as to how to navigate it. 
You let out a few more huffs before standing back up and raking your fingers through your hair. A sudden sparkle of light caught your attention, causing you to pull your left hand free from your hair. There was an engagement ring and a wedding band on your left ring finger. You hissed at the sight of it, your entire body shuddering. 
You were married and a mother. 
“Are you fucking serious, Namjoon?!” You whispered to yourself in the bathroom, knocking your head back against the wall three times in frustration. Jenny would be having a field day if she knew about this. 
Jenny. 
You wondered what her reaction was, when she heard that you had flung yourself from your balcony. You wondered if she blamed herself for sending you home early even though it wasn’t her fault. You wished you could tell her you hadn’t done that to yourself, that it wasn’t her fault. You just hoped that she was okay and that she wasn’t crying over you. 
You could get through this, you had no other choice. It was time to get your shit together. 
You straightened your spine and shook out your hands with a deep breath before you unlocked the door and swung it open. Standing outside the door was your “son.” He was practically the spitting image of your “husband” who had yet to leave the bedroom. He was staring up at you, with big brown eyes, as he raised his arms up and clenched his hands in a grabbing motion. 
You knew what that meant. You plastered on a forced smile as you bent down and picked up the small boy before settling him on your hip. He easily nestled his head into the crook of your neck, his eyes fluttering shut as he basked in your warmth. 
At least he was cute, you could manage that.  
You curled your arm securely around his back as you walked into the kitchen, your bare feet padded dully against the cool tile of the floor. 
“Are you hungry?” You softly asked the little boy. You could feel him nod into your shoulder slowly, his fingers curling around the collar of your sleep shirt. 
You carefully unhooked him from your clothes and gently set him down in one of the chairs at the kitchen table. He whined in refusal, reaching out for you once more before becoming distracted by a coloring book that had been left at the table. 
Unsure as to what exactly you should make for the young boy, you searched the kitchen cabinets before settling on toast. Simple and easy. As the bread sat toasting, you decided to investigate the new environment you had been put in. 
You could tell you were still in the city, just a different section of it. You could see the towering skyscrapers through the windows of the apartment. This apartment was definitely not your own. For one, it was much smaller with a completely different layout. And, it looked to be in disorder with toys scattered everywhere in the living space. It certainly was not to your standards, but you could manage it for a few weeks as Namjoon had instructed. All you had to do was follow this life perfectly, and it couldn’t be that hard. Right?
You pulled yourself away from the windows, the drop off sending a familiar shiver down your spine, and rushed back into the kitchen to finish up the breakfast for the boy coloring away furiously at his book. 
Once you had the plate situated in front of him, you caught sight of a wallet on the opposite side of the table. Without hesitation you rounded the table and snatched it up, rifling through the items inside until you caught sight of what you were looking for. An ID. 
“Jung Hoseok.” You mumbled, the name tingling on your lips and echoing in your mind. So, this was your temporary husband. 
“What are you doing?” A voice asked from behind you causing you to jump in fright. 
You pivoted on your heels to face the man, your husband, Hoseok. Despite the fear his voice evoked in your body, he was presenting you with a blinding smile. One that sent chills throughout your body for reasons that were unknown to you. 
“Hoseok?” You said, although it sounded more like a question. 
“Hoseok?” He chuckled, “What did I do, am I in trouble? What happened to Hobi or hunny?” 
Well shit, you were already fucking things up weren’t you?
“You know if you need anything you can always ask me, baby. No need to go sneaking around.” He said, his smile still pinned to his cheeks as he struck you with a penetrating gaze.
He said nothing for a moment, he just stared at you with that smile in absolute silence. It was so quiet you could hear the blood pulsing through your ears and the soft ticking of the clock in the corner of the room as you tried to avoid his gaze. Despite the high position you once held in your previous life, you had never been very good with eye contact. He was really testing you today. 
He remained quiet as he grabbed the wallet from your hand and slipped it into his pants pocket before straightening his jacket out. 
“Jihoon, you’re going to be late for school. Go get ready.” Hoseok said, his voice and face still appearing cheerful as the little boy shuffled out of his chair and darted down the hallway to his bedroom. 
You didn’t know why, but you were struck with the feeling that something was very wrong here. 
You remained motionless as Hoseok raised his hand, cupping the side of your face rather gently, much softer than you originally expected. 
“You’ll be good for me while I’m gone, won’t you baby?” He whispered, his lips lightly brushing your cheekbone as his fingers gently swiped over the smooth skin of your cheek. 
You said nothing, you merely nodded in agreement so that he would finally release you and leave you alone to process what you had gotten yourself into. 
Without warning, he pressed his lips to your own in a hard kiss spurring a cry of surprise from you. You attempted to pull away from him only to find his hand at your back, keeping you pressed close to him as he sighed against your mouth, a shudder shaking through his body. His grip was becoming stronger, borderline bruising the more you squirmed against him as he tongue swiped over the flesh of your lower lip. 
“Ew! Daddy!” Jihoon yelled as he reentered the room, fully dressed for school with his little backpack slung over his small shoulders.
Hoseok pulled away from you with a laugh, allowing you to stumble away from your supposed husband, your hand cupping your mouth. You took back whatever you had thought about Jihoon before, he was your saving grace. 
“Sorry buddy, Daddy just loves Mommy so much!” Hoseok said, his voice full of glee as he gave his son a quick hug before standing up again. “I’ll see you after work.”
Hoseok headed to the door, stopping for a moment to look you over one last time. “I’ll be seeing you later as well.” He said with a wink before exiting the apartment.
Thank fuck he was gone. 
Jihoon quickly approached the now closed door, sliding his shoes on and reaching for the door knob. 
“Where do you think you’re going?” You asked as you watched the young boy open the door.
“School?” He asked slowly, his little brows furrowed in confusion. 
“By yourself? No, give me a minute to get dressed. I'll walk you to the bus.”
“Mommy, you can’t!” He cried, causing you to come to a stop. 
“I can’t? And why not?” 
“Because, you never do.” He replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 
What kind of mother was this person? She didn’t even walk her own kid to the bus to make sure he didn’t get kidnapped? Jihoon was so young, he couldn’t have been older than six by the looks of him. He was practically still a baby. 
“Well I am now, wait right there Jihoon.”
You were still dressed in the baggy T-shirt you had woken in, the fabric rumpled and hanging loosely over your shoulders revealed a fraction of your collarbone. It didn’t take a genius to figure out this was Hoseok’s shirt. You hissed in annoyance and ripped the shirt from your body, filing it into a corner of the bedroom. 
The closet was filled to the brim with clothes, both yours and your “husband’s.” You swept the various suits and shirts aside until you stopped at your own clothes. You found it strange the amount of formal attire Hoseok possessed and your lack of it. Your side of the closet was filled with comfortable clothes, the only “formal” attire you owned was a wedding dress tucked all the way in the back of the closet and stored away in a plastic case. 
You sighed in frustration, settling on a pair of leggings and a large hoodie. One that was, presumably, your husbands as well. Did this woman have no desire to take pride in her appearance? Apparently not. 
“Come on, Jihoon!” You called with a clap of your hands as you made your way to the front door where he waited, his small hands wrapped around the straps of his backpack. 
Jihoon didn’t say anything in response, he merely held up his hand and slipped it into your own. He was a cute kid, a perfect reflection of Hoseok, but eerily enough you could see your own features reflected in him. 
You released a deep breath through your nose, pushing those thoughts to the back of your head. You needed to focus on getting him to school for now. 
The door clicked shut behind you as the two of you began making your way out of the building. The weather was still warm, not that much different from what it had been in your past life. It was nice, being able to take in the fresh air for a moment and be able to process what exactly you were going through. 
Jihoon had taken the initiative for the both of you, considering you had no idea where the bus picked him up for school everyday. His hand was still clutched in your own, his arm outstretched as he walked quickly in front of you. He was talking a million miles per minute, the most random things leaving his mouth. And, just when he was about to get to the point, he would find something new to distract himself. 
“Oh, Mommy! Look at that butterfly!” He was painfully cute. 
“Oh, it’s very...pretty.” You said, unsurely. At first glance, the creature was beautiful. It’s wings wide yet delicate, painted with bright colors like paint splatters on a fresh canvas. But, it had a large chunk missing from it’s right wing. The injured wing fluttered every now and then with the gentle breeze. The poor thing was trapped in the flower bed it was lying in, it would never be able to fly again. 
You were pulled from your reverie as Jihoon tugged on your arm sharply. He beckoned you to lower yourself down to his height. As soon as you had settled down on your haunches he threw himself against you in a tight hug, squeezing you twice for good measure. 
“Bye Mommy, I love you!” He yelled before pressing a kiss to your cheek and turning on his heels, darting towards the school bus. 
You stayed there for a moment, your hand frozen on the spot he had left a kiss. So, that was what it was like to have a family. To have someone love you. You had never had that before. 
You rose back up to your feet, taking a moment to gather yourself back up again. You could see there was a park nearby, and getting yourself over there seemed like a good enough idea. You didn’t want to go back to the apartment just yet, you still had no idea what you were supposed to do. You didn’t like the thought of just waiting at “home” for Jihoon, or worse, Hoseok to come back. 
Jihoon was easy, predictable. But Hoseok, he was uncharted territory. A raging sea you didn’t know how to navigate. 
Damn you and your incapability to foster stable relationships. 
It was only day one of this temporary life and you were completely out of your depth. A husband? A son? A stay at home mom? You had and were none of these things, but now you had every single one of them. Whether you wanted them or not. Namjoon gave you orders, and if you wanted to survive, you had no choice but to follow them. You had to play along.
You walked slowly, tiredly, through the park. The tips of your sneakers were dragging against the ground, kicking loose stones off to the side. A few weeks he had told you, just how long exactly was that? 
Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t hear the incoming footsteps approaching rapidly. It was the feeling of fingers gripping your shoulders and violently spinning you around that finally caught your attention, a cry of shock escaping you. 
“What are you doing?!” A voice cried, their hands shaking you to garner your attention. 
The sun that had blinded you finally lightened as it slipped behind a thick cover of clouds, disappearing out of sight. You could see now, and the man that was holding you so tightly was none other than Hoseok. 
“H-Hoseok?” You stuttered, your hands gripping his wrists as he ceased to lessen his hold on you. What was he doing here? He had left for work no longer than half an hour ago. 
“Did you hear me? I said, what are you doing?!”
“I’m going on a walk? I just dropped Jihoon off at the bus.” 
“You did what?!” He yelled, his face stricken with panic and a deep, hidden anger. His hold on you was only becoming stronger, near bruising as he shook you once more. 
“Hoseok! Stop it, you’re hurting me!” You yelled, taking a step back from him. 
That seemed to do the trick, his voice quieted and his hold became much lighter than before. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why was he acting like you had just committed a crime. 
His eyes slipped closed as he took a deep, calming breath, his shoulders rising and falling with the motion. “Baby, you don’t leave the apartment. You know this, we’ve been over this.”
“What?” You asked, utterly confused. 
This seemed to shock Hoseok, his brows raising and his eyes widening. The both of you were standing there, a gap between the two of you as you stared at one another with equal states of confusion. You not knowing what he meant, and him wondering if you were experiencing some sort of memory loss. 
“Come on, I’m taking you home, you need rest.” He finally said with a gentle smile, he was firmly set on the idea that you must be sick from how strange you were acting. 
You didn’t trust him or that fake smile he was giving you. Something was going on here, and it was terribly wrong.
“No.” You said firmly, taking a step backward when he tried to grab hold of you again. 
His smile drifted away, it was like watching the moon slip over the sun into a solar eclipse. The Hoseok you were left with was one that had a cold, stricken expression that bled disbelief. 
“What did you say?” He asked you, slowly. 
“I said, no.” You spat back, your voice sharp and firm despite the tingles of fear and anxiety creeping through every muscle in your body. 
This look on his face, although more genuine than anything else you had seen, was capable of sending your entire body into a panicked frenzy. Something in the back of your mind was telling you, no, begging you to run. The instincts that had been fostered in you from generations before were telling you this man was dangerous, and you were better off fleeing than sticking around to see what would happen. 
“I dare you, say that to me one more time baby and you won’t like what happens next.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Hoseok.”
That did it. As soon as he took one step in your direction, you spun around and booked it like a track star. You paid no mind to where you were going, not caring who you had to shove aside to clear a path for you to get away. You were trusting your gut, and it was screaming at you to get as far away as possible. You could hear Hoseok behind you, yelling your name and telling you to come back, but you paid him no mind. You just knew that this was your one and only chance to get away from him before you lost it. 
Everything he had said and done had raised red flags in your mind, the way he talked to you and touched you, it was all wrong. It was possessive and dark, whether he intended it to be or not. 
What husband doesn’t allow their wife to leave their home? What father lets their six year old child walk themselves to school? What caring man demands you obey his every will? There was something wrong. 
You couldn’t hear Hoseok behind you anymore, the crowd had thickened substantially the further away you got from the park and the deeper into the city you were. People were staring at you strangely as you shoved through the crowds, grunting in annoyance as you squeezed yourself through them. 
The crosswalk was fairly empty, you could make it through and keep going, you had no time to stop and question how far away Hoseok was. So, you broke through the final band of people and began to sprint through the road, despite the sudden cries and warnings that were being shouted behind you. 
Fuck, there was a reason the crosswalk was empty, wasn’t there?
You turned your head to the side as you ran, only to come face to face with an oncoming car, coming in so fast you knew it wouldn’t be able to stop. No matter what you did, it was going to hit you. You threw your arms up in front of your face, blinding yourself as you squeezed your eyes shut and prepared yourself for the impact.
But it never came. 
“Day one and you’re already fucking things up, aren’t you?” 
The sounds of the city had fallen silent, there were no more car horns, no people talking, nothing. It was dead quiet. You slowly peeled your arms away from your face and opened your eyes.
Namjoon was there, still dressed in that three piece suit of his as he leaned up against the hood of the car that had almost hit you. He looked beyond pissed with you. You looked around, taking notice of your environment. There were people still looking at you, their faces frozen in shock and horror. There was a bird above you, it’s body frozen in midair with its wings spread wide open. And there was a little girl on the corner of the street, her popsicle stuck freefalling a foot above the ground. 
Time had been suspended.
“Namjoon! You don’t understand, this life you put me in, I can’t do it! I’m not a wife or a mother, I can’t do it! And my husband? There’s something wrong with him, I don’t know what but he isn’t right in the head.”
Namjoon rolled his head back, a sharp sigh leaving his lips before he righted himself and pressed his fingers to his temples. 
“You need to go back.” He simply said, his frustration evident.
“I just told you I can’t -”
“It’s either you go back to him and play house for a few fucking weeks, or I take you back to the crossroads and process you!” He snapped. 
You jumped in surprise at the sudden intensity of his voice. When you had first met Namjoon he was calm, collected, even a little embarrassed at the mess up that had occurred. Now, he was frustrated. 
“I told you before, you need to follow this life perfectly, you cannot let anyone know that anything is amiss. That means you need to be Jihoon’s mother and Hoseok’s wife. Whether you like it or not, that’s reality. So, you need to decide right now what you are going to do. Are you going to grin and bear it for a few measly weeks, or are we both leaving right now?”
You remained quiet for a moment. You already knew what your answer was going to be before you even opened your mouth. You needed to stop panicking and start thinking efficiently. What was a few weeks of unease and fear in comparison to years of your life you would gain in return. It was a good investment. 
“I’ll do it.” You finally said. 
“Good,” Namjoon breathed a sigh of relief as he popped off the hood of the car, “No more fuck ups, for my sake and yours.”
And then he was gone, disappeared into thin air. 
The world was moving around you again, and you were no longer standing on the crosswalk but instead in the middle of the sidewalk as the crowd of people that were previously waiting to cross the road dissipated and made their way to the other side.
And then, those same hands were on you again, but this time they pulled you into a warm chest, crushing you like a boa constrictor in a desperate hug. 
“You scared the shit out of me!” Hoseok cried, his hand settling on the back of your neck as he pulled your head into the space between his neck and shoulder. 
How ironic, you had scared him. 
~~~~~~~
Hoseok hadn’t even taken the risk of walking you back home, instead he flagged down a taxi and ushered the both of you into the back seat. The ride was spent in silence between the two of you. You sat there, the side of your head pressed against the window as you listened to the music from the radio and the feeling of Hoseok’s hand on your thigh keeping you immobile. 
You allowed him to grip your wrist when the cab arrived outside your apartment and when he dragged you back inside. It seemed so much darker now after you had been outside. You really didn’t want to be trapped in that small apartment with just you and him and no Jihoon to protect you. 
His hold didn’t lighten until he had dragged you into the bedroom you had woken up in the morning. It was then that he pressed his hand against your shoulders and shoved you backwards on the bed, quickly climbing on top of you as you began to flail your limbs wildly in surprise. 
“Calm down, hunny.” He cooed, a genuine, sadistic smile on his face now. All the other smiles before had been so fake now that you had seen this one. This one was beyond thrilled. 
You flinched as you felt cold metal encircle your wrist and snap shut. He had you handcuffed to the bed, there was no running away now that was for sure.
Your heart was thumping frantically in your chest, your limbs shaking as the adrenaline that had once faded was flooding through you again. Your instincts had been dead on accurate, you should have kept running when you had the chance.
“Baby, baby, baby,” He laughed, tilting his head to the side as his eyes shone with glee. “I haven’t seen you in so long, I thought you were gone.”
You were shaking beneath him as his eyes traced over every inch on your body, his fingers playing with the loose strands of your hair. 
“You’ve been acting so different today, almost like how you were when we first met all those years ago.” He hummed, his face pressing closer to yours as he lightly brushed his lips down the side of your cheek before stopping to press a kiss at the curve of your jaw. 
You flinched to the side in discomfort, spurring a delighted giggle from his lips. 
“As fun as it is to have you like this again, that doesn’t mean I can let your bad behavior go unpunished. You left without my permission and you said no to me, I can’t have that baby, I just can’t.” He sighed, the puff of air against your flesh spurring goosebumps to rise in response. 
“So, be a good little girl for me, and don’t move.” He instructed, pressing a lazy kiss to the bared column of your throat.
“You’re in timeout, a couple hours to yourself should help you think long and hard about what you did today.” He laughed, pulling himself off of you and retreating towards the bedroom door. 
“I’d think of a good way to apologize to me if I were you.”
And then he was gone. Once the door shut you could feel your heartbeat steadily falling and returning to normal. “Play house,” Namjoon had said, “Grin and bear it,” he told you. You weren’t so sure if those sentiments applied to your situation anymore. 
It was confirmed, you were married to a sadistic sociopath. 
Hoseok had left you chained to the bed for hours on end like the asshole that he was. You were rightfully scared of him, like you had previously thought, he was unpredictable. One moment he was kind and gentle and the next he was angry and after that he was filled with a corrosive glee.
How were you supposed to make it through the next few weeks like this? It was impossible. 
All you could do was lay there, stewing in anxiety as you were drowning in your never ending stream of thoughts about your fate at the hands of your so-called husband. 
By the time you heard the front door unlocking the sunlight had completely shifted in the room. The light was now entering at a different angle casting long, dark shadows over the room. It looked like the light was being chased away by the tendrils of darkness curling at its soft edges. 
You could hear a loud thud coming from the main room and the sound of little footsteps approaching the bedroom quickly. 
“Mommy!” A voice called before the door was shoved open. Jihoon. “Found you!” He giggled, kicking his shoes off before scrambling up the side of the bed and crawling over to you on all fours. 
Jihoon seemed undeterred by the sight of your wrist bound to the headboard behind you as he curled up against your side, his head resting on your shoulder as he wrapped his small arms around you. A chill traced its way up your spine, this wasn’t the first time he had seen his mother like this. No, this was common for him. 
Jihoon was already prattling endlessly about his day, much like he had on the way to the school bus that morning. His chatter suddenly came to a stop as he ran out of things to say, instead he let out a little hum and asked you: “Daddy put you in time out?”
“Yeah, Jihoon, Mommy’s in time out.” You replied, your jaw clenched and your eyes pressed shut. 
“I told you, you can’t leave. Daddy always finds you.” He said, nodding his head in agreement with himself as he began to play with your hair.
Your eyes snapped open, you head turning to the side to look at Jihoon. That definitely meant something, didn’t it? In fact, how had Hoseok found you at the park in the first place? Or on the sidewalk you had run to?
“Jihoon...how does Daddy find Mommy?” You asked him.
Jihoon continued to play with your hair, his tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration as he twisted and knotted your hair in a sloppy braid. “Your boo boo.”
“My boo boo?” 
Jihoon stopped his shaky braiding for a moment, meeting your eyes as he grabbed your free hand and led it to the back of your neck. That was when you felt it. 
Right there, at the nape of your neck, was a small bump beneath the flesh. You smoothed your finger over it a few more times in disbelief, making sure that what you were feeling was actually real. 
He had microchipped you, like a dog. 
A pit settled itself into your stomach as the reality of your situation finally hit you. The life you had been injected in was far more dark and twisted than you had first thought. This went beyond overprotectiveness and time outs, this was a clear show of obsession and possessiveness. In Hoseok’s eyes, you belonged to him. 
And, upon having that realization, your husband returned home from work. 
The bedroom door had been left wide open, giving you a clear view of Hoseok entering the apartment as he shimmied his jacket off of his shoulders and loosened his tie. Your arm curled around Jihoon tighter, pressing him even closer to your side like he was a life preserver, the only thing keeping you from being dragged down into the dark trenches of the sea. He felt safe to you. 
The minute Hoseok looked up and caught sight of the two of you, the bleak and tired look that adorned his features drifted away and was replaced by that same fake smile, the one that never reached his eyes but lit up his entire face. 
“There’s my two most favorite people in the world!” He called, pulling a laugh from Jihoon who raised his arms up in a gesture suggesting he wanted Hoseok to hold him. 
Traitor. 
Hoseok bounded into the room, lifting Jihoon up from underneath his arms and spinning him around before settling himself on the bed beside you with Jihoon on his chest, excited giggles shaking his entire body. 
It startled you how normal this would have looked from the outside, minus your hand being cuffed. To anyone else it could have looked like any other family spending time together after a long day. A stay at home mother with her busy husband and their young son. Oh, how far that was from the truth. 
“You hungry, buddy?” Hoseok asked, tickling his son's sides. “How about take out tonight?”
“Yeah!” Jihoon agreed enthusiastically. 
“What do you think, Mommy?” Hoseok asked you, pivoting his head to the side, his dark eyes fixing you to your spot. 
Play along. 
“That sounds good.” You nodded, attempting to do some damage control from your actions earlier that day. 
“Good answer baby,” Hoseok smiled, popping Jihoon off of him as he slid over to you, fishing the keys to the handcuffs out of his back pocket. His thumb gently stroked the reddened flesh of your bound wrist before freeing it. He held your wrist in his hand for a moment before pressing a long kiss to the irritated flesh. 
“Behave.” He whispered into your skin, looking up at you through half lidded eyes before he flipped his switch again and bounced off of the bed in glee. “C’mon Jihoon, you can pick where we order from!”
~~~~~~~
The air had been thick with tension for the rest of the night, unbeknownst to Jihoon who was too excited to be with both of his parents to realize that there was anything wrong. 
Jihoon had become a buffer between you and Hoseok, the little boy seating himself between the two of you on the couch with his food in hand while his legs kicked back and forth excitedly. A little hum of happiness left him with each bite of his food, completely oblivious to the dark look Hoseok was sending you over his head. 
You had somehow managed to equally piss him off and excite him all in one day. You were scared of what it would be like when Jihoon had to inevitably go to bed, he wouldn’t be there to protect you anymore. 
There were few things you had been scared of in your previous life, and they were normal things for a person of your stature. You had been scared of being mugged, being kidnapped for ransom, having someone break into your apartment, or becoming a disappointment to your family. 
Most of those things could have been remedied with a bodyguard. Never in your entire life did you ever think you would come to rely on a six year old boy, your “son,” to be your protection.  It was strange how much could change, all in the course of one night, one mistake. 
Once again, you had found yourself cradling Jihoon to your side, his body relaxing under your touch as he snuggled up against you. He gently guided your hand away from your lap, and onto his head, a sign that he wanted you to play with the short strands of hair. 
You pulled your hands away from your legs and allowed your son to lay his head down as you softly stroked his hair in a calming, soothing motion. The light of the television was flickering, casting a blue glow onto his young features. His eyes had fluttered shut, his long lashes casting smooth shadows against the skin beneath his eyes. His breath was coming out slower now beneath your touch, the rise and fall of his chest becoming slower and deeper than before. 
Jenny had been right about one thing, you would have had cute children. When you went back, a part of you was certain that you would miss Jihoon. Your little protector. 
You jolted at Hoseok’s unexpected touch, his arm sliding behind your shoulders as he moved closer to you on the couch. An annoyed whine sounded from Jihoon at the sudden motion causing him to press his face against your legs in an attempt to escape whatever was disrupting his sleep. 
Hoseok leaned closer, his warmth seeping into your side. He joined your hand on Jihoon’s head, lightly smoothing over his hair before speaking. “I think it’s time for bed, little man.”
“Noooo!” Jihoon whined, “I wanna stay with Mommy.” 
“Not tonight, buddy. You need to be a big boy and sleep in your own bed.”
“I don’t wanna!” He cried. 
Sensing an impending tantrum, Hoseok scooped Jihoon up into his arms and cradled him to his chest. He started rubbing his back in slow motions, bouncing lightly with each step that he took. Miraculously, you could see Jihoon’s eyes begin to droop shut, his fatigue returning in full blast. 
Your parents never did that for you. 
You watched as Hoseok retreated into Jihoon’s room, presumably to get him ready for bed.
Shit, your bodyguard was falling asleep. 
Your body moved before you could think, flinging itself from the couch and sprinting for the bedroom. You couldn’t think of what to do, you knew that as soon as Hoseok was done with Jihoon he was going to come after you and you didn’t know what to expect. So, you did what any other grown woman would do. 
You hid under the covers. 
Your heart was beating loudly in your chest, the sound echoing through your ears as you squeezed your eyes shut in fright. All you could do what lay there and wait for him, you were doing nothing but delaying the inevitable. 
When you heard his footsteps rounding the corner you tried to slow your breathing, forcing your chest to rise and fall slower to make it seem like you had fallen asleep. If he bought it, then maybe he would leave you alone. 
Unlikely. 
He did the exact opposite. You could hear him close the door behind him, shuffling around the room as he got ready for bed. Your breath hitched in your throat as the lights flickered off, and the mattress dipped beside you from his weight. 
It was dead silent in that pitch black room, the only sounds you could hear were the ringing in your ears, your breaths, and his. 
You flinched in surprise when he latched onto you, dragging you backwards into the warmth of his bare chest. 
You tried your best to remain calm, to breathe lightly, and to not move. But Hoseok was no idiot, and you were daft if you thought you could fool him. 
“I know you’re awake.” He whispered, his nose pressing against your hair as he took in a deep breath, sending a sharp chill down your spine. 
He remained quiet for a moment, his arms wrapping tighter around your body. The feeling was the same as if a boa constrictor was curling around you. Slowly increasing the pressure, tightening its grasp in an attempt to squeeze the life out of you. Slow, calculating, and intimate. 
The arm that had looped around your middle lightly drew backwards, allowing his hand to slide beneath your shirt and rest on the bare skin of your waist. 
“I think I know a way you can make it up to me.” He mumbled with his lips pressed against your throat. 
His palm smoothed over the skin of your lower abdomen, just above the hem of your underwear as he buried his head into the crook of your neck, lips and tongue tracing over the bared flesh. Like a little lamb you had found yourself caught in the jaws of the predator, one snap away from the clutches of death. 
You remained frozen from a blend of shock and fear, all sense of fight or flight leaving you and rendering you immobile. Every nerve in your body was screaming at you to move, to pull away, to throw yourself off of the bed. But your muscles were tense, frozen in a state of pure anxiety and fear, you knew nothing more than the thought of keeping still like a rabbit in the face of danger. 
He moved to the side, dragging you onto your back so he could settle himself on top of you. He braced himself with his arms on either side of you, caging you in with no room to escape. He gave you no warning of what he was thinking of doing, he merely swooped down and pressed his lips to your own. 
A muffled squeak rattled in your chest, your heart suddenly thudding louder than before like an alarm sounding to wake you up. Your hands moved first, sliding onto his chest and barely applying any force, struggling to push him back. His skin was warm and smooth against your palms, an alluring honey shade that you would have been enamored by like you had been that morning, had you not been exposed to his true nature. 
“Hoseok.” You said, finally breaking free of his kiss. 
Your call of his name had the exact opposite effect of what you had hoped. A deep groan rumbled in his chest as he pressed his hips against yours, effectively pinning you to the mattress beneath him. 
“Hoseok!” You tried again, trying to grab his attention. 
“That’s it baby, keep saying my name.” He sighed, expertly rolling his hips against yours. 
Oh. Oh no. 
The sudden wave of arousal that washed over you was unwelcomed and even more frightening than anything else. You weren’t even in control of yourself anymore, that was what his presence did to you. 
“Play along,” The words that Namjoon had told you were suddenly echoing in your mind. 
Your breath got caught in your throat as he pressed himself closer to you, you could feel the smooth roll of his hard length pressing against your core, light sparks of pleasure tingling throughout you. Shadows of fear still crept around in the back of your mind, the nape of your neck throbbing in a twisted reminder of the chip that lay beneath the skin. 
Hoseok was in his own world, hell bent on teasing you until he grew tired of it. He shifted his weight onto one arm allowing his hand to delicately trace up the length of your body. His fingers just barely brushed your thigh, trailing upwards to trace the hollows of your hips before settling on your waist and rising up over the barrel of your ribcage that was exposed so nicely for him from your arched spine. 
You were laying there, helpless for him, frozen from a state of arousal and fear that was blending perfectly into its own dark, tempting cocktail. You pressed your lips together firmly, smothering any whine that tried to force its way free from you when he pulled back, the motion of his hips stilling as he played with the hem of your shirt. You didn’t know if you wanted to yell at him to go away, or scold him for stopping. 
Either way, you didn’t have much say on the matter. 
He tilted his head from side to side, his dark eyes tracing over your form from head to toe. A small smirk tugged at the corners of his lips as he watched the heavy rise and fall of your chest, your wrinkled shirt, and the way your thighs and hips jerked from the loss of his touch. You looked adorable to him, he couldn’t deny the powerful feeling it gave him to see you so helpless beneath him. He was sick, and he loved it. 
His fingers were still tracing the hem of your shirt, like he was contemplating removing it despite the both of you knowing it was inevitably going to come off. Hoseok was an impatient man, that much you could tell. He firmly gripped the bottom of your shirt and began to roll it up agonizingly slowly, that satisfied smirk still pinned to his handsome features. 
“Whaddya say, hunny? Should we give Jihoon a sibling?” He laughed, his tongue flicking out to swipe over his lower lip at the thought of getting to see you full with his child again. He would be a liar if he said the thought didn’t turn him on. 
All of the blood rushed to your face, your thighs tensing reflexively against him where he was settled between your legs. 
“Is that what you want?” He hummed, hands settling on your hips and roughly pulling you down the mattress against him. “You want me to fill you up again, sweetheart?” 
You didn’t get a chance to even consider answering his lewd question, a sudden shock of lighting and a deep roll of thunder caught the two of you off guard. The once pitch black room had been lit up by the blast of light, the windows shaking from the boom of thunder. 
And then, there was the sound of crying and little footsteps. 
Hoseok hung his head backwards in distress before rolling off of you with an annoyed whine echoing through the room. “God fucking dammit.”
“Mommy! Daddy!” Jihoon yelled before throwing the door open and scampering up over the foot of the bed, his little face wet with tears as he scrambled over the sheets and settled himself in between the two of you. 
If you had questioned it before, you weren’t questioning it now. Jihoon was your savior. 
“Jihoon, it’s just a little thunder, it’s nothing to be scared of.” Hoseok said, his voice a little sterner than normal, most likely from his case of blue balls. 
“It’s scary!” The little boy rebutted, “I wanna sleep with you!”
“Jihoon -”
“It’s okay you can sleep with Mommy and Daddy tonight.” You cut Hoseok off, opening your arms for Jihoon to snuggle into. 
The look on Hoseok’s face would have been humorous if you didn’t know you were going to have to pay for it eventually. 
Everything came with a price, eventually. 
~~~~~~~
Hours melted into days, and days slowly migrated into weeks. You had begun to lose track of how much time you had spent in this other life of yours. But you knew you couldn’t stand it for much longer. 
You could handle Jihoon, you liked Jihoon, you could stand even being there because of him. Hoseok...he was another story. He never hid his true intentions from you, that was for sure. But the more time you spent trapped inside that apartment the more you began to feel like you were going to lose yourself.
Sometimes you could forget what Hoseok really was, and other times he made sure to remind you. In this life, whoever this person was before you took over, they had never left the apartment since Jihoon was born. That was six years of their life spent trapped within these walls with no one to talk to except for two people who were only home for a few short hours a day. 
It was isolating. It wasn’t unlike the lonely life you had lived before in those regards. 
You were trapped, chipped, and alone. Any attempt you had made to leave by yourself, for any reason, had been swiftly thwarted by Hoseok. The knowledge of the tracker embedded in your neck reminded you that there was no point in running anyways, he would always find you. 
You tried to remind yourself that this would all be worth it in the end, that you could handle these weeks if it meant getting your old life back. But as each week passed, you weren’t so sure that was true any more. 
You were in a cyclical hell that you couldn’t manage. 
You had opened the door one day at the sound of someone outside it, it had been a new neighbor, a young man with full lips and an unusual laugh. Your heart had soared at the opportunity of being able to speak to someone other than a six year old or your possessive husband, but that had been quickly thwarted. 
Hoseok had pulled you back into the apartment and exited into the hallway, shutting the door behind him with a grim glare.
You never spoke to that neighbor again. 
Hoseok had become more needy as each week passed and you had taken to sleeping in Jihoon’s bed with him as often as you could, feeling protected by the boy you called your son. But your distance didn’t help in any manner, Hoseok was becoming more aggressive and more irritable. Not with your son, never with your son, but with you. 
He grabbed onto you more, touched you more, kissed you harder, and eventually forced you back into sleeping in your bedroom. 
You faked an illness for a few days to keep him at bay. That was how you got to this point. He was desperate. 
Hoseok was taking you on a work trip, just you, without your son. It was a city or two over, you would be staying at a hotel and having dinner with his coworkers there that same day. He was a desperate man calling for desperate measures to be alone with his wife. That meant that you had no more excuses and no Jihoon to protect you. 
Jihoon had cried when you said you had to go away with Hoseok, he didn’t want to go and stay with Hoseok’s mother, he wanted you two. And that part of your heart that had grown to accommodate him was slowly breaking with each tear that rolled down his cheeks. 
You would be lying if you said you didn’t love him. 
You knew that you weren’t the best mother, you didn’t know what a good mother was like. Yours was efficient at best. So you dug down deep for what maternal instincts you had, held him close, dried his tears, and kissed his chubby cheeks. 
And you told him you loved him. The first person you ever loved. 
So, that was how you found yourself here, at a table with a bunch of boring men and their partners talking about their work with Hoseok’s hand gripping your thigh, his finger rubbing circles into the skin beneath the length of your dress. 
You were incredibly bored of this ordeal. All of these men were business executives and their concepts of how to run a business were rudimentary at best. It took everything in you to keep your mouth closed to not correct them in front of their higher ups and embarrass them for the everyday mistakes they were making. 
“Play along.” Namjoon had said, so that was what you did. 
Although you may be a mother now, you would always be a business woman and a successful one at that. They didn’t deserve your expertise. 
Your eyes lazily drifted away from the table, zoning out as their voices became reduced to a low rumble. And that was when you saw it, a flash of black fur and glowing jade eyes on the ledge outside the window. 
Taehyung. It was time. 
Your heart leapt with joy, a smile carving into your once stony expression. You could go home now, you could finally wake up from this nightmare. A sharp squeeze to your thigh grounded you, a pit rolling in your stomach. You had to get away from Hoseok. 
He was staring at you, confused by the sudden appearance of your joyful grin. 
You leaned close to him, whispering lowly, “I have to use the ladies room.”
“I’ll take you.” He replied, going to scoot his chair away from the table. 
You gripped his forearm, bringing him to a halt. “No, this is important for you, I’ll only be a moment.”
He stared at you in silence, assessing you and trying to figure out what you were getting at before he spoke. “Behave.”
You nodded quickly before excusing yourself from the table and rushing down the hallway. You had seen a large balcony on your way to the restaurant on the top floor, it was only a little ways away. 
As soon as you stepped foot onto the balcony, you saw him. Taehyung was there, resting on the balcony as the sun slowly drifted away behind a cover of clouds, a gentle rain was beginning to tap the marble floor beneath you. 
You approached him quickly, your heart pumping in time with the gentle rumble of thunder above you. Taehyung came to a stand on the railing, the sharp drop off beside him glaring at you. 
“We have to do it this way, again?” You asked, your hands wrapping around the railing beside him as you peered over. You were even higher now than you had been the first time, sharp tingles were shooting through your hands and feet as you stared down at the streets below. 
Taehyung stared at you in silence, his eyes blinking slowly twice. You would take that as a yes. 
So, you carefully sat yourself up on the railing and turned, allowing your feet to dangle over the ledge. You watched in horror as your heels slipped off and went plummeting down to the ground. It took them a long time to meet the pavement, it would be a long fall for you.
“Fuck, are all of you reapers this dramatic?” You hissed at the cat. He looked amused at your predicament. 
“Okay, let’s do this thing.” You huffed, reaching your hand out to touch the reapers silky midnight fur. 
And that was when you heard the panicked call of your name. You looked over your shoulder, your eyes meeting Hoseok’s. His face was ashen, his hands held up as he attempted to approach you. Your eyes caught sight of his phone held up in one of his hands, a blinking dot on a grid staring back at you. He had accessed your tracker. 
“Baby, what are you doing?” He asked you, taking small, slow steps in your direction. “Come here, let’s talk, okay?”
“You can’t stop me,” You replied, “I won’t do this any longer.”
“You don’t know what you're saying, you're just stressed and scared. We can get through this.”
“I know what I’m doing, Hoseok. I’m done, my time is up and I need to go.”
“And what about me? What about Jihoon?” 
Jihoon. A chill spread through your body, your eyes suddenly stinging. You didn’t know that would be the last time you would hug him or say goodbye. He didn’t know that was the last day he would have a mother. 
“Jihoon will be fine.” You said firmly, Taehyung was creeping closer to you now at the same pace that Hoseok was. Your time was coming to a close, Hoseok was trying to compete with death. It was obvious who was going to win.
“I won’t let you do this.” He snapped back, frustration, desperation and fear taking over him as he flung his phone aside and began to run to you. 
“You don’t own me.” You spat back.
And then you grabbed Taehyung and clutched him to your chest before slipping off the edge of the balcony, Hoseok’s fingers just brushing your skin before you plummeted off the side of the building. 
Death was easier. 
~~~~~~~
First, there was darkness. 
And then there was the sound of monitors beeping around you.
Your eyes felt as heavy as lead, refusing to open on your command. And for a small, brief moment, you were afraid that when you opened your eyes he would be there. You were afraid that you had missed the window and you were trapped with him again.
But when you did manage to open your eyes, the person sleeping in the chair beside you was Jenny. 
You did it. 
Everyone was surprised by your survival and your recovery. The fall you had should have shattered your bones, mashed your brain, drained you of your blood. But you survived with minimal injuries. Some people called it a miracle, others thought you were a medical mystery. 
And Jenny though you were stupid. 
“What the fuck were you doing on that ledge? Were you that drunk or are you just that fucking stupid!” She yelled through her tears. 
“Both.” You answered, your face completely deadpan as she rained down a series of hits to your arms in retaliation. 
You laughed through it until she finally calmed down, a huffing mess in her chair beside you. “In all honesty, there was a cat on my balcony and I was trying to save it.”
“Oh my god, you are that fucking stupid aren’t you?” She said, shaking her head. “If you want a cat’s attention you lure it with food you dumbass! You are the dumbest smart person I know.” She sighed into her hands. 
The two of you remained quiet for a moment as she collected herself and you took in the room around you. There were no cards, no balloons, and no flowers. 
“So, I guess none of my family could clear some time in their busy schedules to come see me.” You said, quietly. 
Jenny raised her head, sympathy etched into the features of her face. “Do you want honesty, or do you want me to sugar coat it?”
You bit your lip in thought before making up your mind. “Honesty.”
Jenny took in a deep breath before scooting her plastic chair closer to your gurney. “Your family is...distancing themselves from you for the time being.”
“Distancing?” You echoed in confusion. 
“The media hasn’t taken too kindly to your...accident. Every tabloid is talking about the woman who has it all trying to throw it away. The public isn’t very happy with you at the moment.”
“The same wouldn’t be said if I had died.” You mumbled, because that was the truth. Nobody cared until it was far too late, their true intentions hiding beneath their masks of sorrow. It didn’t matter how much money you had, you had never been happy, and had your accident truly been an attempt well, maybe it was only a matter of time. 
“And what does my family think?”
“They aren’t too happy with you either. Your mother and father have put on a face for the public, wishing you a speedy recovery, but they left you a memo. They aren’t ready to speak with you yet, not until you do something to find your way back into their good graces. Your siblings, on the other hand, have said nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
You had forgotten how lonely this life was. Thoughts of Jihoon tugged at your heart strings, his little whispers of “I love you’s,” your after school snacks and cuddles, and the soft voice he used when he would wake you up in the morning with a gentle: “Mommy?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you!” Jenny said quickly. 
Your brow wrinkled in confusion before you felt it, the cool, wet, glide of a tear rolling down the side of your cheek. You were crying. 
“It’s not you, Jenny. I’m just thinking about someone I love.”
~~~~~~~
You had returned to work almost immediately upon being discharged from the hospital. Jenny called you stupid, you called it trying to return to your only family. You knew you shouldn’t care about their opinion, not when they so clearly showed their disappointment in you and their lack of care. But they were all you had, they were your family, your blood. They made you what you were.
Right?
So there you were, back to wearing those red bottom heels, those tailored suits, and those glasses you hadn’t touched in so long, hidden behind your desk in your office. 
You had kept your cool and your composure when you entered the office, doing your best to show you were unfazed by the shocked stares and the hushed whispers between your employees. You kept your composure only to throw your office door shut and slump against it with panicked pants for air. 
No matter how hard you tried, you knew you were never going to be the same anymore. Not after your fall, not after the crossroads, and not after Hoseok. You were broken in ways you couldn’t even comprehend. 
Even now, sitting at your desk, eyes trained on your computer, your finger swept over the skin at the nape of your neck, mindlessly feeling for the bump, the tracker that was once buried there. You were only met with seamless skin and irritation from the constant rubbing. You wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up rubbing the back of your neck raw. 
A soft knock to your door had you sighing in relief, you needed some respite from the thoughts that were racing a million miles a minute in your mind. You were mentally exhausted from everything you had gone through. You removed your glasses, pressing your cool fingers to your eyes. Your hands were hurting again. 
There was a loud crash as the door clicked shut, the sound of liquid spilling violently all over the floor of your office and the thick, strong odor of coffee. And then, there was the shocked gasp of your name.
A familiar chill traced down your spine at the voice, your heart kicking into overdrive. No, it couldn’t be. You rose from your chair causing it to spin away, your breathing quickening as you began to panic. 
It was Hoseok, standing there in your office in a puddle of coffee.
Jenny’s words from all those weeks ago came flooding back into your mind. “The poor thing was so nervous, you really should be nicer to him. He has such a sweet smile…”
You stepped backwards in fear, your world suddenly crashing down on you in one fatal swoop. 
He called your name again, a similar panic on his face as he crossed the room in distress. “Please! You, you have to help me! I don’t know what's going on but it feels like my head is being torn apart!”
Tears were rushing down your cheeks in endless rivers now. You had walked so far backwards that you were pinned against the tall windows behind you with nowhere left to go. 
“I have two lives, two sets of memories running parallel in my head and I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t!”
You closed your eyes, your body shaking and shutting down the closer he got. And then his hands were on your shoulders, shaking you in his grasp as he began to hyperventilate. 
“Where’s Jihoon?! Where did he go?! He cried, his body trembling in tune with your own as he was bombarded with memories he knew and ones he didn’t. He was too close now, his body pressed tightly to your own in that same suffocating manner as he panicked, his mind being torn apart for reasons unknown to him, holding onto you to ground himself.
You were beginning to understand now amidst the haze of panic. Namjoon had said he was putting you in a different place, in a different time. He had never said in a different life. You hadn’t become someone else, you had been moved six years forward in time. Those painful weeks you had lived through with the guise of them being temporary had all been for absolutely nothing. You were doomed to live out the life you had been trapped in. 
It was fate.
“Where is our son?!”
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