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#we love the sunk cost fallacy at work
craycraybluejay · 3 months
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Experiencing something like the sunk cost fallacy i.e; this may be useful or important later so regardless of how burdensome or hurtful it is I must not get rid of it.
What if (person) becomes nice later and will be in some way helpful. What if (thing) will be useful for something later regardless of whether I need it right now. What if learning about (depressive episode waiting to happen) will be useful in something important? What if (relationship) will increase in mutual benefit and this is one thing I'm gonna have to stick out?
The one upside to the scrappy mindset, is, well, it does what it's meant to do sometimes. Lots of junk material, parts, old pieces of metal, screws, fabrics, buttons, sequins, stones, etc etc. do end up coming in handy for some project or invention. Lots of people who make problems for me we end up working stuff out and help each other grow. Lots of stuff that may hurt to know is still undeniably helpful to be aware of when interacting with the world. But other times the scrappy mindset does Not work out and I end up having wasted time, energy, and investment, on a useless trainwreck.
Being too critical of things makes you close yourself off to opportunity. Being too open makes you liable to overextending yourself and your resources (putting your eggs into too many baskets). How to be the perfect judge to create the perfect balance.
Maybe I need to try harder to shop around. Put myself out there and really get my finger in every cake so I know which is creamiest. Or whatever. But moderation is difficult. There are always too many factors at play.
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westernsunshine · 5 months
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I love when I open the guidelines for next week's assignments and it literally makes no sense. I don't mind this
#i know we haven't covered this material yet but also what does it MEAN. what does it all mean#and my netlify blog is broken ✨ and i don't know why ✨ the debug console tried to tell me but i couldn't understand what it was saying ✨#when i tell you i haven't changed ANY of the deploy settings or info. i haven't changed the njk files. i haven't done ANYTHING#i suspect either netlify or github has updated and broken my blog themselves#or maybe just Maybe i accidentally did something but.... no. i don't think it's anything that i personally did#because i'd see it in the version history in my repository and there's nothing. i don't see anything#i love this. i love that i didn't even break it and it's STILL on me to fix it. that's great actually. i don't mind this#i am so heavily thinking about quitting this course but i'm literally 2 weeks from the end so that'd be stupid. right? ...right?#i'm not going to do it. unless.....#no honestly the time to quit was like a month after starting lol. i have been confused and annoyed this whole time#yes i've learned stuff but most of the time i just get so frustrated i end up cutting corners and doing the absolute bare minimum to get my#assignments done because i honestly do not care anymore. i don't want to work in tech after this. i am so blatantly not cut out for it#i'm going to defect back to education but in a support role this time and just hope for the best#which is also what makes me think i might as well quit the course? idk. i should've quit weeks ago because now sunk cost fallacy#is kicking in. i told my friend and she was like 'i had no idea it was this bad :( you can't quit' 1) yes it is 2) yes i can#maybe i'll just ask for an extension. i have had a really bad couple of months#y'know what; yeah. if they can't give me an extension (to give me enough time to fucking figure this shit out) i'll just quit#either give me a long ass time to do the assignments or i'm not doing them#personal
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skyberia · 30 days
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so I’ve been turning over the question in my mind of why exactly Goro stays loyal to (/aligns himself with) Shido for so long, and wanted to get your thoughts. do you think the sink-cost fallacy just has that much of a chokehold? or other factors combined with fear, despite goro’s confidence in his abilities, since shido has yakuza connections and ways of contracting murder outside of the metaverse? or, I think it’s evident from the engine room dialogue & more that on some level he does want acknowledgement from shido.
in fanworks that explore him refusing to carry out akira’s execution, that usually comes with the realization that someone does in fact want him around and that he’d be a fool to throw that away, but maybe that’s reading too much of the player’s emotions into Joker’s actions/dialogue—still, I do think it’s clear from their confidant that joker is written to care about Goro. so then it makes me wonder why Goro was willing to throw that away, or if he didn’t think it was genuine, or if it just wasn’t enough.
u clearly have many thoughts abt akechi and I love how you write in your comics, so I hope you don’t mind me asking for your take on this!
maybe this is kind of a boring take but i do think it's a sunk cost fallacy thing at the end of the day. the other factors you've brought up might play into it a bit too but i really think that the main thing is: this is a revenge plan he's dedicated the last two whole years to And ruined countless lives over (including, i'd argue, his own) AND by the point we see him in game it feels like it's nearing the final stages. this is as far as one can get from a point where you'd be able to just admit your plan sucks and abandon it!!
comparatively speaking to all that, akira is really just a distraction & obstacle in the face of the Grander Scheme. whatever he can offer goro will obviously just pale in comparison to finally getting the revenge he's worked soooo hard for. any other hesitations can just be looked over with the idea that killing him means he's won & that he's better than him <3
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Hello! I love reading your analyses. What are your thoughts on Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu?
Thank you for your ask! I'm so happy you like reading my posts, that really means a lot to me ;_;
Okay so I really like both Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu as individual characters and also their relationship, I don't know if I have anything interesting to say about them though ;A; but I'll give it a try!
First thing that comes to my mind is really how what happens with the both of them once they're in heaven is such good evidence of how toxic the work environment and the power structures up there are. Everything they already struggled with in their sect is even worse; the jealousy, the bullying, the intolerance, the abuse of power. Quan Yizhen was drawn to Yin Yu because of Yin Yu's kindness, but I think he could tell that the pressure to conform to heaven's power structures was starting to chip away at it:
Quan Yizhen kept going. "They cussed at me first. I don't even know them. They said I was a low-ranking heavenly official and yelled at me for no reason, then they laughed at me and told me to scram and not to block their way. I told them to apologize, and they wouldn't, so I beat them up. They only shut up when I beat them up, otherwise I wouldn't have hit them."
Things were considerably more peaceful in the current time*, but in the early days, some heavenly officials - from both the Upper and Lower Courts - would throw their weight around and bully lower ranked officials with less experience. Yin Yu sighed.
"Are lower-ranked heavenly officials beneath other people?" Quan Yizhen asked.
"No," Yin Yu replied.
Was that true? It was obvious that he didn't believe his own words, and Quan Yizhen noticed.
Quan Yizhen, who hasn't ascended yet, declares that he doesn't like heaven, and when Yin Yu admits to the same, Quan Yizhen suggests that they go back to the human realm. But Yin Yu is deeply caught up in what's essentially sunk-cost fallacy; because ascending to heaven was both his dream and quite hard for him, he wants to stay even though it's making him increasingly unhappy. He can't face the fact that his dream has turned out utterly disappointing.
I think they're also a good case of why it's downright impossible for individuals to change the power structures of the environment they find themselves in on their own - Yin Yu tries to conform and to get by with smoothing over conflict whenever it happens, essentially just forcing himself to endure it all quietly. Meanwhile Quan Yizhen rightfully doesn't understand why he should let himself be mistreated and pushes back, though that also essentially doesn't change their situation and only leads to more pressure being put on the two of them. From his perspective, leaving is the best choice since life in the sect, where he was simply left to train all day, was much better for him. But it's also understandable that from Yin Yu's perspective, it wouldn't be much better since he'd already been having similar problems back then with people expecting him to manage and control Quan Yizhen.
Plus, Yin Yu is very conscious of the opinions and expectations of the people around him and quite anxious to fulfill said expectations - I can imagine that he wouldn't know how to deal with his sect's reaction if he, a cultivator who had received the ultimate honor of ascension, were to reject said honor and go back to being mortal. Kind of ironic to think that once he's banished, he will start working for a ghost who did reject his own ascension.
*Minor aside, since this it's from when Xie Lian was watching those events unfold, I think it's less that things are actually more peaceful now and more that Xie Lian doesn't yet know how deeply the corruption of the heavens really runs and how bad things really are. Plus, he overall spends very little time in heaven, so I don't think we can fault him for having this impression.
Speaking of Xie Lian, I find it very telling that the ghost realm, and specifically Ghost City - the one single autonomous place within all three realms - eventually becomes both his and Yin Yu's home. I know people joke a lot about Yin Yu deserving a raise and such, but I think they forget what it actually means that he's the right-hand man of Hua Cheng, given that Hua Cheng holds so much power and influence in all three realms that he's the only one Jun Wu is genuinely wary about. That's an incredibly high position, not to mention the level of trust Hua Cheng shows Yin Yu, like in the amnesia extra when he sends him to deal with the monster that stole Xie Lian's memories. I'm going to get more into this in the Yin Yu-centric meta I've been working on though.
One thing I've been thinking on as I'm drafting this reply is that I feel what ties all four of these characters together is how their relationships started because of acts of kindness, both big and small, and the long-lasting effects thereof.
Like for Xie Lian and Hua Cheng I think no explanation is needed. Then Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu's relationship started when Yin Yu asked his shifu to take Quan Yizhen in to their sect when he met him as an abandoned child that really wanted to learn martial arts and got beaten up by adults for it. Then Quan Yizhen's friendship with Xie Lian started because when that play that very cruelly mocked Yin Yu was shown in heaven, Xie Lian was the only one that cared how upset it made Quan Yizhen and threw a chopstick to make the curtains fall.
And I feel like for Yin Yu, it might be the same with Hua Cheng, who he stays loyal to because Hua Cheng was the only one to help him and the one to take him in when all of heaven abandoned him:
"Chengzhu has shown me grace. He saved me -"
"I know," Jun Wu said. "He even helped you pacify and send off Jian Yu's vengeful spirit after he died during your banishment, am I right?"
Hua Cheng right from the start is described as someone who, despite being a Ghost King, is known to sometimes do "odd acts of kindness", and I feel that taking Yin Yu in was one of those. Because think about it - by the time Yin Yu is banished, He Xuan has already infiltrated the heavens, so there's not really any valuable Intel to be gained from taking Yin Yu with him. I can't really imagine Hua Cheng doing it just to spite the heavens either, at least not completely, since he lets Yin Yu hide his identity and apparently no one (except apparently Jun Wu) knew where Yin Yu even was for years. But I can imagine Hua Cheng coming across Yin Yu - a god banished and shackled, abandoned and mocked by all of heaven, punished essentially for someone else's choices but taking the blame regardless, accompanied only by a wrath ghost - who might that have reminded him of?
Sorry, I feel like i probably ended up talking about lots of other things than what your question was about. It's when I start thinking about the themes and stuff in this novel I can't stop ;A; Feel free to ask a follow-up question(s) if I got too off-topic!
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gingerjolover · 2 months
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You're Losing Me - Part 3
Warnings: RPF, angsty + sad, desperate!naomi, neglectful!naomi?, issues in relationship, fighting?
g's notes: surprise shawtayyyy - also sorry this is late, i went out drinking on sat and then was watching the SuperBowl (congrats to kylie kelce's husband's brother ig)
also barely edited but i will be going in tomorrow or the next day to redo allll of my tags, make a tags post, and edit my fics &lt;3
Naomi, sitting at the computer practically steaming with annoyance, is completely oblivious to you waiting outside. They feel stress regarding the fight, that much is obvious, but also a little bit of a sunk-cost fallacy regarding the work they need to get done. Plus, there's a small part of them that believes this will blow over quickly, maybe spending a night apart will be good for the two of you.
So they keep working, feeling a little bad about it, reflecting on how they could've controlled their anger, trying to convince themselves that the defeat in your eyes was nothing more than exhaustion. Slowly, Naomi starts to feel slight resentment, how could you just leave, yeah they agree that space is great but was it the most mature decision coming from you?
After a while, Naomi's resentment begins to simmer down, replaced with a mix of remorse and confusion for what just happened. They realize that they didn't even acknowledge you or your feelings and that it's too late to fix their mistake, wishing they could have extended even a sliver of patience with you.
"Dammit," they say quietly to themselves.
They take a deep breath and continue to work on their computer for a while, but their focus is beginning to fade. They start to feel like their work isn't as important as they are making it out to be; maybe it never has been, and they want to fix their relationship first.
Naomi goes to check your location, seeing that you're not even halfway to Jo and Kelli’s, and it confuses them. Didn’t you leave right after they went inside? Or were you waiting for them to come back out? Did something happen to you on your drive? It’s been over an hour since Naomi started working again. Worry sinks down in Naomi's stomach, settling like a rock.
Naomi wouldn't be able to live with themselves if something happened to you, so they don't even text Jo or Kelli and move to call you. Leaning against the doors of their office, the repetitive rings while they wait for you to answer, causing their heart rate to speed up, the nerves of the unknown and the potential ramifications of this coming-to-head boiling inside them.
Their mouth is a bit dry and they are struggling to control their breathing, wishing that you'd would just pick up the line.
“Yes, Naomi,” you answer deadpan, so unlike your usual sweet, bubbly, and loving greetings, your voice lacks emotion. Naomi cringes at the volume of your voice but can hear the sounds of the road beneath your tires and that you're using Bluetooth in your car.
How you answer the phone sets Naomi's heart racing just a bit more. They feel the guilt weighing on their chest again, like a heavy animal, giving no reprieve or time to get air into their lungs.
"Hey…" they say quietly, "…can we…umm…talk this out? Because this feels…"Naomi stutters, struggling to find the right words to say.
"…bad," they finally breathe out.
“This…feels— bad?” you ask, almost a little confused, tone still defeated and annoyed.
Naomi bites their lip as they hear your response, the confusion and annoyance in your voice evident at their simplistic answer.
They close their eyes and take a deep breath, trying to compose themselves.
"No, no, this isn't just bad…it's like, a train wreck," they finally say, starting to get slightly frustrated again. "This fight is...the biggest one we've had in, I don't know how long... maybe ever. We haven't even had a small one in forever. You and I are always on the same page."
There's a pregnant pause. Naomi can hear you breathing, the sounds of the road accompanying your deep breaths.
“Do you still love me?” you ask quietly, voice insecure and small.
Naomi feels like they just got punched in the mouth. The shock and hurt that pairs with the realization that this isn’t just a fight rocks Naomi to their core. Had their actions pushed you so far that you think this might be over? That Naomi might not love you anymore?
Naomi feels the air sucked out of their lungs, their skin feels like it’s on fire. You are everything. There’s nothing without you and nothing Naomi wouldn’t do for you. They want you to be their wife, the mother of their children (still undecided about that), and their life partner. Naomi never wants you to doubt their love for you and yet, here you are asking exactly that.
Naomi's heart shatters as your tone makes them realize how far this has gone.
"Yes, of course, I love you," they say, sounding a little angry and confused at how you could question that. "Why are you asking me that? How could you ask me that?"
Naomi feels their heart race at this moment, confused about how this suddenly turned so serious. How could you go from not wanting to talk to them to questioning the very nature of their love in an hour?
“But are you in love with me? Do you wanna still be with me?” You ask, voice shaky and a little crackly over the Bluetooth in you car.
"Yes!" Naomi says, their voice raised slightly. "W-what is going on right now?!" they ask. "Of course, I'm still in love with you! What the hell is this? Please let me know why you're thinking about these things." They pause for a moment, starting to feel a little bit hurt by your question.
There's another pregnant pause. Naomi can hear you stutter, like you want to say something but cant find the words. They can visualize it now, your jaw slack, eyes wide and doe-like, trying to find a way to communicate, and even after the devastating blow that was your questions, Naomi feels nothing but annoyance.
"I am not the one making this harder than it should be…" they mutter.
“Because of that! Why are you so angry with me all the time? Why can’t I spend 5 minutes with you when you’re not talking about MUNA or on your phone or computer? Why can Kelli and Jo go and do things? Why can Katie go on vacation? Why can't you and I do those things? Why are we struggling to be on the same page? What about me makes it so difficult for you to give me time when I’m telling you how I’m feeling?” you ask in a slight, passionate tone laced with hurt.
Naomi stops talking as you start going off, trying to process what you're saying.
You're speaking only facts, things Naomi had denied before but now realizes might actually be true. Naomi never intended for you to feel like this. Naomi has always preached about a work-life balance, never wanting to be blinded by the work they do, so much so that they forget how to be a good partner. And even though you're right, they feel caught off guard, feeling like you're angry at them for something that, at least in Naomi's mind, was done unintentionally.
"I…" they begin to say. "I…don't know."
“Is it me? Is something wrong with me?” you ask, Naomi’s heart cracking into a million pieces.
If there was a question that would shatter Naomi's heart right now, that was it.
"No, no no no! Nothing is wrong with you," they say quickly.
Their words seem to be doing little to soothe your feelings, and for a second, they realize that this "fight" might actually be the beginning of an end.
"It's not you…" they start to say. "I mean it's…it's…" they feel a lump in their throat as they start not knowing what to say anymore.
“If it’s not me, then I— I can’t understand why everyone gets your time but me,” you say, tone defeated and sad, voice so small and unsure of yourself, humiliated that you're allowing yourself to sound like this.
Naomi feels a tidal wave of guilt wash over them after hearing your voice, knowing it's killing you inside to feel so small and like you need to beg for attention. Naomi paces, suddenly feeling anxious at the realization that they are truly the villain, pushing you back into the feelings you had in your childhood, having always promised to be better than what you had before.
"Please, sweetheart, it's not like that, you know that," they say, sounding desperately like they are trying to find the right thing to say to make you feel better.
"I've just…been stressed and overwhelmed and, yeah it doesn't give me the right to ignore you like I have, but it's…but it's not personal. I just…." they trail off, not knowing how to finish that sentence. They're starting to feel defeated and confused themselves, not knowing why they've acted the way they have.
You sniffle softly, Naomi's eyes squeezing shut, their fingers pinching the bridge of their nose as they hear you cry softly.
"I didn't mean to fight with you," they manage to say quietly.
Naomi feels lost now, the feeling of remorse and guilt taking over their body again. They don't want this; they want to fix things, to work it out.
“I’m tired Nomi,” you say softly, tone defeated and exhausted. The pet name for Naomi sent a dagger through their heart, the name usually used in between kisses or giggles, sounding sweet and soft from your lips sounds drained now.
They can hear how defeated and tired you sound and know that they've done something terribly wrong. But they're just unsure of what to do to remedy the situation right now.
"Maybe we just need some sleep, and when we are recharged and rested, we can..." they suggest quietly.
“I’m tired,” you say, cutting them off, voice soft but definitive.
Naomi's blood runs cold. Tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of begging for normalcy, and regular conversation. Tired of being ignored or forgotten about. Tired.
"I…I know you're tired, honey," Naomi chokes up, sitting down on the couch, elbows resting on their knees.
"I'm sorry..." they start, breathing out, "I- you don't deserve to feel this tired, can we... do you want to talk about this after you get some rest? Are you almost at Jo's?" Noami asks softly, defeat lacing their words.
“Yeah...will you have time?” you ask, snark missing from your voice genuinely asking.
"Yes!" Naomi says quickly. "Of course, I'll have time to talk to you, whenever you want, I'm not doing anything else important."
Naomi pauses momentarily, feeling more confused by your question.
"Did you think I'd tell you no?" they ask.
“…Yes?” you respond softly, pulling into Jo and Kelli's driveway.
Naomi is stunned to hear that answer. They're speechless for a second, not sure of how to respond. Earlier when you asked it was snarky, this was a genuine question... had Naomi really proven to be so dismissive?
"Honey…you know that I don't think of you as a distraction that I need to get rid of?" they ask, with a tinge of sadness and frustration in their tone.
"…you know you're my favorite person in the whole world, right?" they ask with no snark in their voice, just genuine concern and confusion.
“I... it just hasn’t felt that way for the last few weeks…” you respond, staring at Jo and Kelli's front door, deciding its now or never, the opportunity has presented itself to have a real conversation about this.
Naomi is quiet for a moment. "…has it been that long?" they ask quietly.
This is beginning to hit Naomi harder and harder the deeper this conversation gets. You've been trying to communicate with them, and Naomi hasn't been listening, not really. Half listening at best.
"Are you saying you haven't felt like my favorite person for a few weeks?" they ask curiously, shame in their words.
“Naomi it’s been like a month,” you say softly, voice muffled. Naomi can practically visualize you running your hands over your face in frustration like you do.
Naomi's heart drops. A month…so this has been building up for longer than they realized. They feel their skin start to heat up. You've felt upset and neglected for a month, and Naomi didn't even realize it.
"Oh my god…" they groan. "…What the hell have I been doing?"
That question is more rhetorical than anything, but it's like it escaped, the utter stupidity that Noami feels is escaping out of every pore. "You've been trying to talk to me about this, and I've been…ignoring you…"
“Not so much ignoring but… distracted yeah… and I get it, I’m not… I’m not asking you to put me above MUNA; I know how much you love the band, and I would never ask you to choose. I just feel like,… what’s the point anymore? I’m practically begging you to pay attention to me,” you say, verbalizing the very thoughts Naomi had gathered in the last 15 minutes of this conversation.
They have spent so much time focused on their work and on the band's new album, and not nearly enough time putting it aside to give you the attention, love, and reassurance that you deserve in a partnership.
"You feel…like you're begging for my attention…?" they ask quietly. "Is…that really how you feel?"
“I mean I left the house today and you got mad and it’s like… you were supposed to come with me… we had plans, I— Emilia’s baby shower was today, and you just—“ you stammer, overwhelmed by the bluntness of this interaction.
Naomi feels a lump in their throat as they think about that. "Emilia's baby shower was today…? Honey, you didn't tell me, did you?" Naomi's voice is filled with confusion and guilt. "Why didn't you tell me you needed me to go with you to this?"
“Naomi, I did, multiple times I mean you even asked me why I was dressed up this morning before we fought. It was in the goddamn calendar! I shouldn't have to ask you to go to events with me!” you say, voice riddled with annoyance and a defensiveness that surprises Naomi.
Naomi feels what's left of their heart drop into their stomach. "I…I don't…remember you telling me…" They take a deep breath, trying to process that information. How did they not remember you were going to a baby shower this morning? Of course, that's why you were dressed up all pretty and holding a gift bag. And it was for Emilia, your close friend, not just some acquaintance.
"God, what…what is wrong with me…" they say, sounding like they're fighting the urge to cry.
“Because I talk and you don’t listen, this is what I’ve been trying to say. It’s why I’m questioning if you even want this anymore! You’ve never been like this, and if there’s something deeper you need to tell me, I can’t keep doing this,” you say with finality.
Naomi starts to tear up, their heart filled with shame as they listen to you talk. You're telling Naomi something they already know in their heart; they just didn't want to fully accept that they hadn't been fully present in the relationship.
"That's…not…I want this, honey …" they whisper. They feel like they're struggling to get the words out, like climbing out of a burning house, trying to save what's inside. "You're my best friend…you're the love of my life, and I want this more than anything…"
They pause momentarily, letting these words sink in for both of you.
“Then fucking act like it!” you exclaim, finally fed up. “I’ve been with you through two album productions and releases, and we haven’t had this issue, so if I’m not the problem and it really is the album and you are so overwhelmed fucking ask Katie and Jo to help you and act like you want to marry me,” you say, definitiveness in your voice, leaving nothing unsaid.
Naomi feels their heart sink even further as they hear how you are talking to them right now. And you're right. Naomi knows you're right, they hadn't been present or attentive or caring, but hearing you express it so pointedly this way still hurts.
"I…I want to marry you." Their voice falters and breaks as they say this, their sadness and shame coming through loudly in their tone. "I do."
“Okay,” you breathe out, unsure where to go from here.
Unbeknownst to Naomi, Kelli sees you sitting in the driveway, opening the door and waving with a sad smile.
“Look um, Kelli just opened the door so— I’m going to go in…”
Naomi feels the spot where their heart used to be pulse, feeling like something is crawling up their throat, struggling to breathe. They want to fix this right now, they need to.
"Can you talk for a second longer, please? I know you probably need some space, but I'm starting to realize how little I've given you these last few weeks…" their voice is filled with sadness and guilt. "Please…can we talk about this in person?" they ask quietly, not even caring how desperate they sound.
It takes everything in Naomi to try and mask the disappointment they're feeling, knowing that they wanted more time to fix this problem that they've caused.
"It's getting late I- I'm tired, I'm not driving back to the house now," you explain softly, rubbing your face.
"Right, yeah... no I get it," Naomi mumbles, wiping their eyes.
There's a long pause, the only sounds that can be heard are breathing from each other.
"I'm sorry I've been so distant lately, I do love you…I love you more than anything, honey" they say softly.
“I know, Nomi."
Naomi feels like they're on fire. Your response doesn't contain you saying "i love you" back. Naomi is quiet for a minute, digesting everything you've talked about. They start to notice how quiet the line has become and wonder if you've hung up.
"Are you still there?" they ask quietly.
“Yeah."
"Can…can you do me a favor then, please?" Naomi says quietly, their voice sounding small and vulnerable.
"Can you just…tell me that you love me?" they ask.
“Naomi—“ you start before Naomi cuts you off, really needing to hear that you love them, even if they don’t deserve it.
"Just…just say it, please," they plead, their voice small and full of anxiety; sharp intakes of breath are doing nothing to halt the turbulence in Naomi's chest.
“Naomi, take a deep breath,” you say delicately; Naomi can hear shuffling and the car door slamming as you get out of your car. Naomi takes a deep breath, trying to stay calm in this moment,
"Please say that you still love me," they beg gingerly.
“Naomi, I love you, I do… okay? I wouldn’t have gotten this upset if I didn’t," you respond tenderly, leaning against your car.
"Are you wearing your ring?" Naomi whispers.
"I’m still wearing my ring; please take a deep breath,” you say gently.
Naomi feels their heart soften a little after hearing you say those words. The guilt creeps in when they realize that even after hurting you, you're still comforting them. They hate how confident it makes them to know you're still wearing your ring. They feel terrible about this whole thing and about how much they've hurt you, but you wearing your ring gives them hope that this is something they can come back from.
"I'm so sorry, baby, so so sorry. I'm sorry I've been…distancing myself like this, honey…it's not right. Can you…can you forgive me?" Naomi asks quietly.
“We’ll talk tomorrow, Naomi, okay?” you say, walking towards the front door. Kelli's eyes are full of empathy, staring you down. Jo stands behind her, furrowing her brows at your tear-stained face.
Naomi stays silent, feeling like a creep for trying to hear your surroundings, hating that youre at Jo and Kelli's instead of home with them.
"Tomorrow, okay. I love you," they say quietly, wanting to hear those words from you again before hanging up.
“Tomorrow… try to get some sleep,” you say, knowing Naomi probably won't sleep, the same as you.
"I will," Naomi says quietly, hoping they sound convincing, wincing when they realize you've always been able to see right through them. "…can I call you tomorrow or should I just wait for you to call me?" they ask nimbly.
“I’ll come home after work; how does that sound?” you ask, voice light and delicate now that you're in the comfort of your friends' home.
Naomi feels a wave of relief washes over her at the thought of getting to fix this face-to-face tomorrow. "Yes, okay, that sounds great; okay, goodnight," they say quietly, ready to hang up before something crosses their mind. "Oh, um, one more thing…" they feel the weight of the impending question on their chest.
"How was the baby shower?" they ask, ashamed.
You sigh softly. Naomi can see how you rub your eyes when you sigh in their mind. “It was— it was good, yeah… Emilia missed you, I— I covered for you, told her you were busy… I think you would’ve enjoyed it,” you say tenderly, trying not to add on to the growing list of grievances.
"Oh…"Naomi suddenly feels a flash of guilt hit them as you mention how Emilia missed them. They hate the thought of that.
"I'm sorry I missed that, and I'm really sorry that you had to explain my absence," they stutter, apologetic and guilty. "What did you tell her…about why I wasn't there? Just…busy, or did you say anything more than that?"
“Naomi, I’ll— we can talk tomorrow, yeah? When I get back to the house, I— I gotta go,” you say softly, Jo and Kelli's concerned faces watching you as you hold your head in your hands, trying to stop yourself from crying.
Naomi feels a lump in their throat as they realize you're trying to get off the phone. "Okay…yeah. Okay, that's fine…we'll talk tomorrow." There's hurt in their voice as they say this; they hate sleeping tonight without fixing this. The thought of not sleeping in the same bed makes Naomi nauseated. The worst part is that Naomi is why you're not curled up in your shared bed right now.
"Okay, goodnight, I- I love you...so much," they say genuinely, words cracking.
“Goodnight,” you whisper right before you hang up.
Naomi stares blankly for a minute, trying to calm down and compose themselves. Their heart feels like it was ripped out, and knowing that you probably feel worse makes it feel like it's being stomped on. They can't believe how they've treated you the last few weeks, the missed calls and dates, the lack of communication, the whole co-existing in the same house like roommates is too much for Naomi to think about without spiraling. All they want to do is hold you and tell you how sorry they are. But they know you aren't in the mood for that; you want some space, and Naomi plans to respect that.
As they crawl into bed later that night, your cat and dog occupying the space that is yours, Naomi lets themselves cry, before shaking it off and coming up with a plan to get you back and be the best partner they can be.
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ihavedonenothingright · 5 months
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I haven't really been a fan in a while, but hearing Zeltik say that for the film, Ganondorf should be "a deranged, monstrous warlord who wants power, and nothing else" genuinely enraged me. I need to know what the fuck would make someone think that is the best thing to do with him. I know it's what they will do—I have zero hope of nuance, or even a motivation for him—but just. God, even the Zelda manga understood what to do with him! Why do you hate depth? What is wrong with you?
I am going to be very straightforward here: making him do what he does just because he's "mad" not only makes for an uninteresting villain, it also falls neatly in to a myriad of disgusting orientalist tropes that you can't avoid responsibility for just by giving him green skin. He is the only male representative of the Gerudo we ever see, and while the games will sometimes allow them to be the "good guys" (so long as they're assimilating into Hylian culture, or working in its interest), what Nintendo created in Ganondorf and his backstory was the equivalent of one of those slave market or sexy harem paintings of the late 19th century. He's the evil-for-evil's-sake depraved and decadent man in possession of unlimited numbers of scantily clad women, and that is, beyond a doubt, an orientalist notion. But he doesn't fucking have to be.
Frankly, up until Tears of the Kingdom, Nintendo was getting better about him. I still think Akira Himekawa did him best, but Wind Waker Ganondorf is beloved because of his contradictions. He's undertaking actions we would consider evil for an ultimately fruitless cause, but he's not "deranged," he's consumed by the (literal) sunk cost fallacy, unwilling to give up on a dream he's already lost. Even in Ocarina of Time, he's the product of Hyrule's own making. The King of Hyrule is the one who launched a civil war, Hyrule is the nation with hidden torture chambers and guillotines. The Gerudo weren't even thieves before the war; Nabooru is anti-Hyrule, she disagrees with him on method.
Anyway, yeah. I keep forgetting what a cesspool the fandom is out in the wild. But for the love of God, I need people to start handling this man with some care.
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itsclydebitches · 3 months
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It's weird to think Vol 10 of RWBY just straight up might never happen. much less further volumes. No matter how bad it got I would still have loved some form of ending but Barabas comments don't paint a hopeful picture. Alas fics of RWBY will go until the end of time.
It's very weird. Most shows I come across have either already concluded, or give their audience an estimate of when things will wrap up ('We're planning another two seasons and each takes us about two years to film, so...'). I have shows that unexpectedly get more content after providing an ambiguous, but still satisfying ending (Alice in Borderland), shows where each season is self-contained so it can end whenever without issue (Bake Off), shows that were cut short and had to scramble to wrap up (Sense8), and of course there are always shows that are straight up cancelled and can't do a thing to mitigate that... but RWBY feels almost, almost unique in this combination. It's a webseries rather than a traditional TV show. It's gone on for a decade with absolutely no indication of where it's heading. Each season feels threatened to the point where the fandom can no longer differentiate between a real cancellation concern and Internet exaggeration. The story has hit what's arguably its most important narrative peak - the team has traversed an alternate world, Ruby has "overcome" drinking the tea, Summer finally appears on screen - only for news of the story's future to remain frustratingly vague. Not only have we never had a sense of when RWBY's story will end, now we don't even have confirmation of whether it will end. That's such a frustrating way to approach storytelling given that your audience relies on some level of commitment to remain engaged.
I too want RWBY to finish up because I am not immune to the Sunk Cost Fallacy: I put this much time into the series and it needs to satisfy me with a conclusion, even if the conclusion itself will inevitably be unsatisfying. Outside of any normal disappointment with a story you love getting the ax, I generally don't mind embracing unfinished works. I read abandoned fics, watch cancelled shows, browse barely started comics, because getting a taste of the world is always worth it if it's compelling to me. I never regret meeting characters whose stories go untold because as a writer myself I can at least imagine that on my own terms. But RWBY? Losing it now would be a real kick in the teeth. I personally don't think the story is salvageable at this point, but at the very least fans deserve a conclusion: one that will likely please a lot of devoted viewers and allow critical fans to put a satisfying tick mark on the box in our heads labeled "RWBY."
Given its popularity I wouldn't be surprised if RWBY wound up cancelled and then concluded in a comics run, or a one-off movie. Beyond the fact that this would no doubt mess up the writing even more (now you have to iron out this mess of a plot on a time limit, in a new medium, with new authors!) it would, unfortunately, be kind of hilarious too:
[generic tour guide voice] "Hello. Welcome to RWBY. Our fandom is known for having copious side stories connected to the canon in confusing ways. Some are incidental to the main series. Some outright contradict it. Some are crucial to your understanding of the primary plot and must be engaged with in a timely manner. These texts range from comic runs to random bits of information in abandoned mobile games. Please note that this corpus did not grow naturally across decades of storytelling, as is the case with fandoms like Star Trek and Star Wars, but was rather cobbled together by RT in an attempt to 'fix' numerous, ongoing issues with the webseries. Our latest addition? The ending. Yes, if you would like to finish RWBY please refer to this index of sources that together provide a semi-cohesive conclusion to a ten year show. Now, on your left you'll see the ongoing brawl as fans attempt to determine whether this index is canonical or not. Please watch your step..."
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thana-topsy · 3 months
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Send help I'm being invested in a crackship I made up for funsies!!! Clickbait title: Neloth/Miraak fic happening?!!?!
just a quick note: Neloth's character is more firmly established. Miraak, though, he's more of a blank sheet. Yes, we know he sends his cultists after you, steals your dragon souls, etc, etc. The lore describes him as power-hungry and arrogant, sure, but who can guarantee that he will remain like that after all those years of imprisonment? (fight me, I'm a Miraak apologist) Now, I just said all those just to get here. And to inform you that I actually do have a few ideas (and something just barely resembling a plot) about this whole ship dynamic. I can't promise anything yet BUT the SCF (sunk-cost fallacy) has already crept in, and these two old men are living in my brain cells rent-free.
Thank you for coming to my todd ted talk.
(oh god I'm gonna cry now)
👀👀👀
Okay, but I am once again listening.
Yes, I totally agree that Miraak is much more of a blank slate than someone like Neloth, who has a very strong personality right out the gate. I have seen SO many takes on Miraak and I've loved equal and opposite interpretations at times. A penance-driven Miraak who is recovering from the trauma of Apocrypha and attempting to set right his wrongs. A power-hungry Miraak who has to learn how to be mortal again through his own failures. A defeated Miraak who is at war with himself, loathing the dragon inside him and seeking new forms of power.
Miraak is SO flexible as a character, and I have yet to really get my paws on him (but I'm trying! with my fic Ex Oblivione. But we've got a long ways to go).
So I support you WHOLEHEARTEDLY. I think it could really work, and I'm here to be the little devil on your shoulder chanting write, write, Write, WRITE!
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isagrimorie · 9 months
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[initial reactions] Critical Role C3x65
(This took a while to do because the first one I wrote vanished when I hit 'undo' to undo one action and it erased everything).
SO. Many things happened!
Out of the gate, Laudna aired her frustration about how Team Wildemount seemed to have had a better time than their team. And everything FCG, Imogen, and Fearne said just made things worse.
Until Laudna let out the 'And your new best friend' thing with Imogen and Frida. Imogen looked so bewildered, her 'excuse me???'
Ashton remains the heart of the group, I love that Ashton missed Chetney and his shenanigans (even though Laudna looked like she was a second away from throttling him). And I'm glad they were able to talk to FCG to calm down a little. FCG was working on my final nerve when they internalized Laudna's frustrations and made it all about them. It feels like Ashton had an epiphany and realization after seeing Laudna's breakdown, it was a wake-up call. Also for them, Bells Hells is:
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We also get to learn more about Ashton's backstory and maybe they didn't pursue the direct Hishari line but maybe they can pursue that question in Zephra.
I love the whole thing with the Duskmaven. I love the vision and the realization that Vax is still suffering in that Orb.
The vision the Matron of Ravens gave to Orym, Fearne, and Chetney was fantastic. Matt’s description was so evocative. And then the doors slamming except instead of doors its the white mask of the Matron. She’s in mourning.
I continue to adore the differing views about gods, I love that both Ashton and Laudna’s view is— they don’t need to worship the gods to save them and the world. And after everything Ashton went through, maybe it’s the gods turn to reach for him, and that for Laudna, just like with FRIDA, her faith belongs with the people she’s with.
Let’s talk about Fearne’s ‘I won’t lose anyone else’? Because she’s not as vocal about it. But she’s equally as traumatized losing people but also she might not be possessive of her sexual and romantic partners but friends? Fearne is possessive of. Orym is her best friend!
I also love that Chetney had to deal with the consequences of his actions. He forgot about it but Matt didn’t!
Fearne and FCG are scrying for Ludinus and Liliana and find… that they’re both on the Rudius moon!
Even Ira is on the moon! So. I feel like the end game for this is Bells Hells going to the moon, on a race against time to stop Ludinus for doing his final thing to free Predathos (who will then eat him). I don’t know why Lililana is still following Ludinus since it’s obvious his promises were bunk, but I suppose sunk cost fallacy is a thing.
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Also as Aabria said: “Are we all dancing around the fact y’all need to go to the moon?” Because she was RIGHT! They were dancing around the fact they’re all going to have to go to the moon! Thus kickstarting Exandria’s Space Race!
And now to the MAIN THING.
I love actually, that this whole thing with them: the misunderstanding, the kiss all happened with Imogen’s ability to passively mind read shut off. I also love that it all comes in the heels of Laudna airing out her frustrations. Because this time Imogen has to really talk to Laudna, she can’t just get the mental vibe from her. They have to talk. IMO this is the best thing that’s ever happened to both of them, I think they both relied on the fact that Imogen can just ‘hear’ Laudna’s thoughts.
Laudna never minded that Imogen can hear Laudna’s thoughts. But I love that Imogen not hearing Laudna’s thoughts at first pass is actually good for them. Because now Imogen has to learn how to communicate with Laudna through words and sometimes she’s off the mark — the first part where almost everything Imogen said just upset Laudna, to Imogen’s tentative: “Can I kiss you? Because I’m not sure anymore.”
Also, ‘Can I kiss you?’ both did and didn’t come out of nowhere this is a direct continuation of Laudna and Imogen’s conversation the eve of the Solstice. It all started with:
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IMOGEN: I don’t know, since you came back, I’ve been almost scared to say anything. [a beat] LAUDNA: Say what? And Imogen did confess to Laudna but Laudna didn’t get it! And then the next second, they were separated from each other.
I can imagine Imogen thinking the next time she gets to see Laudna again she’s not going to chicken out and then Laudna misinterpreting her friendship with FRIDA seems to have resolved Imogen further. Her bewildered: “Excuse me???” was everything.
And then there’s Laudna’s everything, her stress and her breakdown, and fear that her worst self is her only self when it’s the furthest from the truth. Imogen would follow Laudna into the dark because she also feels the calls of temptation. She used to hate her powers but she’s accepted her powers and learned to love it because without her powers she would never have met Laudna.
But also, Laudna being in her Regency Romance era (to coincide with Laura’s ‘Pride and Prejudice’ era) they are so compatible with that Regency Romance with a large serving of Gothic romance.
I’m so intrigued at how both Laudna and Imogen are keeping their change of status from best friends to dating to themselves but it also makes sense they want to figure this thing they have with each other away from other people’s input and feelings.
I also can’t wait for Laudna’s new outfit and Pate backpack home.
And now they're in Zephra, off to one of the most beautiful places in Exandria when everything's on the edge of tipping into something. I can't wait to watch the next episode!
Also, it took awhile but I finally got to finish this not so initial reactions. Thanks, tumblr for the delay!
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boonbeenblade · 3 months
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Just been reminded about the Mumbo Blows Up His Base saga, and. Man. That's a sleeper pick for best mini-story of the season to me.
On the one hand, there's several things to be said here about Creatives and the inability to kill our darlings, about Sunk Cost Fallacy and finally being able to pull oneself out and say 'no, this isn't working, I want to start over', and how that gets heightened when on the kind of Stage that Hermitcraft creates. Choosing to pull back and start again, to admit that something wasn't working out. There's (less good) things to be said about the two people he approached - Rendog and Cleo - being slightly tempted by the money but both refusing, not because they would think it was wrong, but (more overtly with Ren and implied with Cleo) because they were worried about what the fans would think of them. Rendog stated he'd just come off the whole King Ren business and was already on thin ice with certain corners of the fandom, and thought blowing up Mumbo's base would cross a line; and Cleo was now King, and also has had run-ins with fan ire in the past. Even when it was Mumbo explicitly approaching them, about his own base, they were not looking to face accusations from the fandom. There's something to be said about Hermitcraft being a group of friends who respect each others' work to the point that 'we don't blow up each others' bases around here'. That Mumbo felt nervous about admitting why he wanted it done, when we know if he'd just asked in the chat 'hey, my base sucks. Can people help me destroy it', it'd've made a Hermits Helping Hermits day out of the deal.
And on the other hand...BASE GO BOOM. The actual process of blowing it up was so clean and so satisfying to watch. You can hear the relief in Mumbo's voice looking at the space afterwards, and of course twenty-minutes-awake Scar cackling the whole time. What was left behind was messy, but still a clean slate to work from.
Mumbo's Base in season 9 was almost less a build, and more a Performance Piece, and I love it all the more for that.
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genericpuff · 9 months
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I always enjoyed reading LO, though as of late I've gotten more critical of it and aware of the flaws in storytelling, art, pacing, etc (one can still like trash while recognizing it's trash, I guess), and it's been super weird being the only one in my friend group who's not seeing it as this perfect flawless comic anymore. Your retelling so far has been super refreshing and a joy to read, the art and character design is recognizable yet distinct and great on its own (I LOVE YOUR DIONYSUS SO MUCH HOLY CRAP HE'S SO GOOD), and like... I'm interested in where things are going! It's fun reading this! I still do enjoy LO (maybe it's the sunk cost fallacy, idk), but I'm invested in your version so much more now. So thank you for your work, it's really great :)
I know the story is focused more on H&P than the mostly cast of side characters, but are there any other myths that might get revisited as well? Eros/Psyche, maybe Ariadne since Dio is here...?
Absolutely, I say it a lot when the topic of "LO stans vs. LO critics" comes up but none of the criticism is meant to be persuasive debating, while it can be frustrating to voice our criticisms and be met with "yeah well that's just your opinion", we're also not criticizing the comic purely to convince you that it's trash, we're legit just engaging with the comic in our own way. The best way any LO fan can react to it is either to acknowledge the criticisms and move on, or not go out actively seeking the criticism in the first place if it's something that bugs them. But in the end, no one is talking about the comic in this way as a means to strong arm people into riffing on LO, we'll still be talking about it way past everyone's bedtimes regardless of whether or not you chime in and/or agree. I think a lot of people who enjoy LO have a hard time separating those two things because they love the comic so much that any criticism is automatically flagged as "they're trying to make a hater out of me". And yeah, maybe we are a little bit (because it's fun to riff on this comic and the crit community has genuinely some of the nicest and funniest and most creative people I've ever met) but for the most part it's not our goal to make you hate the comic, we can't take your enjoyment of it away from you, even if you do recognize its flaws yourself. By all means, enjoy LO if you want to, we won't try and tell you not to! Just don't think that gives you permission to tell the critics to stop criticizing because that's a double standard we just ain't gonna stand for LMAO
All that aside, I'm glad you're enjoying Rekindled! As for the other stories, I'm trying to reel in Rekindled's plot to focus solely on H x P because I feel like that's what it should have stayed as. One of Rachel's biggest mistakes IMO was when she stated she "wanted to include as many myths as possible" because it's clear it's resulted in her prioritizing low effort Google-level lip service and Marvel-esque nostalgia referencing over telling an actual cohesive story. I'm taking a lot of the additional myths that Rachel tried to do in LO and leaving them on the cutting room floor, but when Rekindled is done, I'm hoping to pick up what was discarded and do them as little side stories after the fact. I feel like that's the best way to do it especially considering so many of the myths Rachel included didn't happen until after Hades and Persephone were married (including Eros and Psyche). I'd especially love to tackle Orpheus and Eurydice, it's one of my favorite myths :) Dio x Ariadne is also one I'm hoping to tackle, though that one I'll probably work more into Rekindled itself as Dio plays a huge role in Persephone's character arc, we'll see !
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brookheimer · 11 months
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i honestly can’t believe (i sorta can but also don’t?) that gerri is leaving waystar royco. like she fought so so hard and kinda enjoyed being interim-CEO? was roman truly the last straw or are we missing something? i know this is her divorce revenge dress era but i believe gerri could survive so much more
no i feel you honestly — i mean, gerri was waystar royco and vice versa. it’s hard to imagine waystar without her or her without waystar. but i think that’s kinda the point in some ways. i mean, i’m not sure how permanent the decision to leave is going to be given this is the They’re Doing The Thing They Said They Weren’t Going To Do?! show but i wouldn’t be surprised or upset if it is final. i actually kind of like it, maybe. you are completely right that gerri could survive so much more, and honestly, i think that has been her mindset for years — i can survive this, i can survive far worse than this. that’s a big part of why she’s stayed even during these horrific past few months, i think: she knows she can deal, she knows she can weather it, she knows she can survive it. but… just because you can survive something doesn’t mean you have to.
i think that’s what roman’s firing shifted for gerri — it wasn’t that this particular action of his was beyond the pale and she just couldn’t deal with it any longer, but that gerri was suddenly faced with a waystar-less future for the first time in decades and she realized…. holy fuck, why AM i still here? why DO i put up with this? am i staying just to prove that i’m capable of staying, and if so, how does that benefit me at all? is it a sunk cost fallacy thing, and if so, isn’t it called a fallacy for a reason? what am i actually getting out of this? how does this serve my interests?
at least that’s my read — it’s not just that the firing was the straw that broke the camel’s back, but also served as a lightbulb moment that made gerri realize that just because she CAN weather it doesn’t mean she SHOULD. it was a reality check on a multitude of fronts — if after all this time she still held out some hope for a business partnership with roman, for the potential she knows was there to unearth itself once more, then the firing functioned as a rude awakening, making her realize what logan did long ago: these are not serious people. and even more importantly, it forced her to think about a life outside of waystar, something i assume she genuinely has not thought about in… i don’t even know, 30 years? waystar was an immovable aspect of her identity until suddenly it wasn’t, and being forced to look out into a waystar-less future made her realize “wait, why the fuck AM i putting up with this?” logan is gone. the company is spiraling downwards. it’s crisis after crisis. no one respects or listens to her. waystar is headed towards fascism and ruin and humiliation. meanwhile…. she could make millions upon millions, do whatever the fuck she wanted (if she wanted to keep working, she could get hired quite literally anywhere with her record), control her own narrative and go out with a bang, and on top of all that, not be tied to a sinking ship steered by a captain who psychosexually loves/hates/misses/avoids her and makes her life hell. she realized roman would never be the person she wanted him to be, but even more than that, why did it matter to her in the first place? everything that kept her at waystar is going going gone. she does not need waystar. waystar needs her.
so the question isn’t really “couldn’t she survive this?” in my opinion — it’s “why would she?” how does it serve her interests? and…. well, it doesn’t. staying at waystar after realizing that would be breaking the number one rule of being gerri kellman: only do what serves your interests. and now that waystar and her interests no longer align, what would she stay for, sentimentality? no. fuck that. she’s going to buy an island and become ceo of some other news conglomerate and drink her martinis in fucking peace because gerri does what’s best for her and god knows that isn’t waystar anymore — and, frankly, it hasn’t been for a long time. she was just so busy surviving, so GOOD at surviving, that maybe she forgot she didn’t need to.
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penandinkprincess · 6 months
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hi pen!! i’m just curious; what r your thoughts/feelings on marlene? in your fics you seem to differ between canon marlene and a redemption arc (both of which are always extremely well written) ur takes are always so interesting so id love to know your thoughts!!
i think marlene, in a big way, suffers from sunk cost fallacy when it comes to her actions.
like i don't think marlene on her own is a bad person per se (i mean even when ellie's born, we see the sentimentality of her telling the guy holding her to cover her ears), but she does get so blinded by her goal and so swept up in what it's cost that she will keep pushing even beyond rational (and moral) limits. her goal, in the end, is a good one globally speaking. she wants to end fedra (though perhaps that could mean replacing it with the fireflies *side eye emoji), and she wants a cure (which, again, could be advantageous as propaganda, but would also STILL be a cure for the thing that ended the world). i also think one of the best signs that marlene DOES feel and DOES care is her relationship with anna. whatever happens later, there is genuine connection and trust there, but it also ends up buried beneath SO much regret and grief (imo).
like. she and anna have apparently known each other their entire lives. they grew up together. in a world in which it's very likely their familes are gone, anna could have been her last "family" left.
and then she lost her.
and then she gets so swept up in firefly work that it's easy for her to not form connections to new people. at the top of the ladder, she's probably fairly isolated. she has put EVERYTHING of herself into this. her life is the fireflies and their mission.
but that momentum also means she will KEEP justifying what she's doing bc saying "it's over" or "this is going too far now" means that everything she did before means NOTHING. every person she's killed. every bomb she's approved. every innocent civilian lost as a casualty.
anna's death.
she has given EVERYTHING of herself to this work. she can and will sacrifice almost anything to keep it going, but it makes her callous with time. she mentions that she lost almost an entire team getting across the country, and she doesn't seem especially upset by that. she states it like a fact. their job was get her across the country. they did that. it's unfortunate that they died, but they accomplished what she needed of them.
and then we get to ellie.
i do think there was some manipulation there, or at least some manipulative tactics to get ellie to trust her and buy in. but i don't think marlene set out with the plan to kill ellie. i don't think she knew yet exactly the cure would entail, but i don't think marlene knew right then that she'd have to die for it.
but by the time salt lake city happens, marlene is in DEEP with this. the fireflies have suffered HEAVY losses to get to this point.
and from marlene's perspective, they are SO CLOSE to the finish line. it is RIGHT THERE. everything she has done, eveything she has given, everything that has been taken from her for TWENTY YEARS can all be worth it. the payoff is right here. she's done her time. she's done her sacrificing. it's one more heavy payment, and it can be OVER. it can all be WORTH IT.
it's SO easy to get blinded in something like that. like the rational, logical thing to do would be to run tests to make SURE it would be worth it, and the emotional thing would be to recoil at killing a child, but given HOW MUCH leadup and cost has gone into this, and how DESPERATE marlene (and all of the people around her are) is to make it all mean something, i don't think the rush to surgery makes them evil. it makes them stupid and callous, but it wasn't being done out of maliciousness.
(still doesn't make it right and anderson can fuck a cactus)
i think another example of how marlene isn't just a stonecold bitch is that she lets joel live. like. she didn't HAVE to do that. we see there was no plan to ever let him near ellie again. he got her there already. marlene could have had him killed EASILY. then he wouldn't be a problem, and she wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. obviously marlene didn't understand how bonded he and ellie were, but he still was a risk. he potentially could have sold out A LOT of information to fedra for profit.
and marlene still let him go.
tl;dr: i do not like her, but i understand her, and though her world view and choices come from a different moral central point than mine, i get how she came to the decisions that she did.
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sepublic · 2 years
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I wanted there to be a reason for that mouth covering, and what the writers chose was PERFECT! Honestly, Vitimir the Potion Head breathing acid... That makes so much sense in hindsight, I’m surprised nobody considered that! Do they ingest potions and brew them inside their stomach/veins to spit out, are the noxious fumes related to their tall hat invoking the imagery of a smoke stack?
I want to know MORE about how their magic operates, they look kinda sickly themselves, are they a mercury-poisoned alchemist? Alchemists were known to expose themselves to mercury in trying to create gold, and we know the Coven Beads expected to be made royalty; So it’s possible Vitimir has a fascination with creating a philosopher’s stone. If they are meant to invoke mercury poisoning, then it’s fitting they wear a top hat, which used to be lined with mercury back in the day. And their insistence on their hat despite its impracticality would reflect not just how its size, but its mercury content hinders Vitimir as well;
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Gotta have that drip.
Is their irony that they spit out the liquids they drink and brew, thus dehydrating themselves; Making them constantly thirsty? God I love the idea of Vitimir having acidic breath as a reflection of the fumes they constantly work with... The twist is that the covering isn’t to filter the fumes for them, it’s to filter their fumes for us! Did their body become poisoned and intoxicated due to constant exposure to their own chemicals and work, hence the skin and white hair? They were probably holed in too much and didn’t open the window for fresh air, so as to not dissipate the ‘concentrations’ or whatever...
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Are they actually younger than they look? Seeking the elixir of life that creates gold and immortality, only to ironically shorten their own lifespan? And like Belos, it’s a sunk-cost fallacy Vitimir refuses to acknowledge, continuing to whittle away their health in the hopes that the philosopher’s stone will make it all worth it and rectify the damage, anyhow? Man I wonder what Hettie feels about this... Besides smugly amused.
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positivityofmdhours · 3 months
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Yay!! I'm so, so glad that there's now a source for positivity in this fandom!! I love all the characters with my whole heart, so I'll probably visit this blog a few times!!
My favorite character is Izzy because there's something so special to me about tragic characters in unrequited love. Izzy's a fun character to dive into, to study, to write about! He's always working so hard and trying his best to do his job even when he doesn't fully understand what his job can BE. He's someone who is so fully in this sunk cost fallacy of being devoted to Edward that he can't just quit NOW. Not after the years of effort, of loyalty, of devotion
He's so fascinating to me! He does everything because he thinks it's the right thing to do, which is always the absolute best trait in an antagonist, especially an antagonist who is redeemed. His growth of learning to move on, to let go of Edward, is such a beautiful arc and I'm so glad we get to see who he is without Blackbeard
Him learning to accept himself and to put away his past methods of dealing with things is beautiful. The way he recovers from his abuse by bonding with the crew, the way he wants to protect them and care for them....
I just love Izzy a lot. I love that he hits rock bottom, but comes back singing (literally)
I am glad to hear that! You are welcome here always, friend!
Izzy is such a complicated character! And ti me the fact that we know nothing about him preseries makes him even more interesting! It was great to see him and hopefully s3 will be with Izzy too!
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decepti-thots · 11 months
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For character ask game—I feel like I always ask you about either rodimus or tarantulas so I’m going in a completely different direction. Tell me about Optimus Prime
we will continue the streak and do IDW Optimus!
one aspect about them i love: I like the way Barber handles Optimus as someone who finds out there is no way to idealize yourself, that is, to make yourself into an ideal, and then go back to being a just a person. There's something really compelling about the way that Optimus post-war tries first to abdicate the legacy he helped create to win the war and then tries to make it into something else that can exist during peacetime and just... fails. He made himself too remote and now he has no way back. He made himself too central and now if he leaves things collapse in his wake because nature abhors a vaccum. It's really interesting.
one aspect i wish more people understood about them: this is kind of in a metatextual sense, but. People who in IDW have mostly read MTMTE/LL often assume that in phase two, Optimus is shown in this uniformly positive light by the narrative. And he's just not by Barber! When he makes very bad decisions in those comics, you are supposed to see the downward spiral. There's an arc called 'All Hail Optimus', it's not even subtle.
one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character: This is a completely baseless one that I don't even know why I believe so strongly: Optimus guessed- had a suspicion deep down that he tried not to look at- that Prowl, not the Decepticons, bombed Carpessa. Optimus understood how Megatron conducted himself and his army well enough to recognise that doing it would have been an uncharacteristically stupid decision at that point in the war (demoralizing to people on the fence about which side to join, strategically not useful, likely to be useful to the Autobots for propaganda purposes) but. He really needed Prowl not to have gone behind his back and have done it; he needed to not lose a key member of his command at a delicate point in the war. So he persuaded himself he was being ridiculous, and that set off a chain reaction of sunk cost fallacy reasoning which is a part of why Prowl avoided suspicion of wrongdoing outside his remit for so long. Because acknowledging anything else meant admitting that he had always been willing to overlook an obvious, truly egregious crime for the sake of keeping a useful resource he didn't want to give up.
one character i love seeing them interact with: I really, really love all the stuff with him and Shockwave. I still find it amazing how Shadowplay sells me on that relationship so quickly and in so little time, so that everything which comes after is convincingly tragic. And it is! God, it's so tragic. And yet also really. Fucked up? Hey remember when Senator Shockwave had someone perform unknowing surgery on Optimus so he could be a candidate to carry the matrix. WILD. There's this weird power dynamic at play there I find SO fascinating.
one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more: I wish we'd seen more one-on-one stuff between him and Arcee. She's a character uniquely suited to see through the Prime bullshit as someone from a time before all of that becoming entrenched in their society, and also able to bring a perspective to the ways that Cybertronian society's problems well pre-date his experience. And he's someone trying to work out how to stop the cycle they're all stuck in repeating yet again during peacetime, which mirrors Arcee's personal arc. Also she can mock him for acting like he's sooo old or whatever like. You Are A Baby To Me. I think she would puncture him in a way that he would actually appreciate. She's one of the only people in a position to see him as not much more than just a guy in charge.
one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character: I don't think Optimus likes Rodimus. And I think a lot of that is that he recognizes he fucked up with Rodimus, at Nyon, in a way he has no real way to... do anything about, or even acknowledge now it's been so long. So he can't even truly get pissed when Rodimus fucks something up, because a little part of him is like. Hm. Well. He is, on the whole, partly my fault, isn't he. Which is frustrating, because he can't fix it, and he can't lash out about it without that niggling thought, and in the meantime Rodimus is just constantly there being kind of weird about him and causing problems. And so all that's left is to translate that situation into a kind of diffuse discomfort he grits his teeth and bears. Also, Rodimus is one of the only people willing to call him out on his weird Megatron hangups, which is infuriating because Optimus tries really hard to ignore that he has any.
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