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aesthetic-babyyy · 5 months

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The big question- Sam Winchester imagine

Warnings// smut, smut oh and more smut

Word count// 3665

(Gif from Pinterest)

Sam and you had been together for 2 years, you met while in your first day of Stanford, you sat at the back of the lecture hall with not knowing anyone you eddies to take the seat furthest away from the rest of the class, and you say there alone for all of 5 minutes before the seat next to you was being taken by a tall handsome stranger, the handsome man turned to you smiling placing his hand out "hi I'm Sam" you shook his hand returning his smile "I'm Y/N"

"You not much of a people person either?" Sam joked at the difference of where you two were say 4 rows behind you chatting classmates "definitely not, I don't really know anyone here yet other than my roommate" you said taking notes of what the professor had written on the board "well I guess you know me now too" was he flirting?, you turned to face him giving him a small smirk "I guess I do" am thought for a second before speaking again "so now that we're friends, what do you say I take you out for dinner say around 6 o clock? I could even take you to see a movie after" okay he was definitely flirting with you

Your cheeks were burning red, you definitely didn't expect to get a date on your first day of college "yeah it's a date" Sam nodded finding it hard to contain his own smile, he's not usually this straight forward especially when it comes to pretty girls, once the class was over you and Sam walked to exit to head to your next classes which unfortunately were not together as you've discovered "can I have your number? I can call you later so we can meet up tonight?" Sam questioned scratching the back of his neck awkwardly "yea definitely" you said taking out a pen to write on his notebook (xx xxx xxx xxx) "perfect I'll call you after my last class" Sam said tucking his notebook back under his arm

"I gotta get going room 336 is across campus" you said moving to walk to your class "Y/N wait!" Sam jogged slightly over to you "yeah?" Sam looked to the ground suddenly finding the ground very interesting "how about I walk you to your class" you smiled up at him "I'd really like that Sam" needless to say the date went amazing, Sam sweeper you right off your feet, you guys were dating for around a year when he asked you to move in with him, he had his own apartment since his roommate Louis moved out 3 months prior, of course you said yes and you guys couldn't have been happier, getting to wake up to the man you loved everyday as falling asleep next to him was thrilling.

Things has been going great for you guys since you moved in together a year ago, Sam was the perfect roommate and boyfriend, he never left his dirty laundry litter the floor, he never ate the last of your food, something you were very thankful for because your last roommate wasn't so respectful, and even if he did he replaced it before you noticed which wanted your heart and you always made sure to thank him in only a way you could, you guys rarely fought which was great and even when you guys had your stupid arguments that made you give each other the silent treatment, the make up sex made it so worth it,

Lately however, Sam had been acting strange, starting to become more secretive, you trusted Sam immensely so you knew he wasn't cheating on you, however the secrets were getting concerning, deciding to push it to the back of your head and just give him time, Sam would come talk to you when he was ready, like every Friday you finished your last class earlier than sam so you decided to go grocery shopping and head back to the apartment.

You were home an hour later, however Sam still had one more class so he wouldn't be home for another hour at most so once you put the grocery's away you laid down on the couch deciding to watch crappy TV till your boyfriend got home, tonight was takeout night so you decided to text Sam to see what he was thinking for tonight, surprisingly he replied pretty fast considering he was still in class 'what if we went out to that new restaurant tonight? I was gonna call and make reservations after I get out of professor Xs class' giggling at Sam's attempt to joke you started to feel excited, you guys hadn't been out in a while, loving the company of each other on the comfort of your own couch every night instead

'that sounds incredible baby what time?' You texted back and again within seconds, like it was already typed and ready Sam replied '8:30pm?' Considering it was 4:30pm you decided to take a shower, you sent Sam a quick text of approval before moving to the bathroom and taking a quick everything shower.

Once the clock hit 5:30pm you had finally dried your hair from the shower and curled it, still wearing your shower robe when you heard the front door open and shut "Y/N I'm home" god you didn't think you would ever get tired of hearing that, rushing out to greet your boyfriend, when you got to the kitchen Sam was placing his laptop bag on the kitchen counter, smiling you walk over to him Sam waiting for you with his arms open, wrapping your arms around your giant boyfriends neck to hug him, his own hands wrapping around your waist, now something you have always loved about hugging Sam, he always ended up picking you up and holding you close to him, like his own little koala

This hug was no different, Sam was lifting you off your feet, your legs wrapping around his waist, Sam leaned in the kiss you, you returned the kiss, moaning when moved his hands to the hem of your robe, running them up you legs and straight to your ass, squeezing your ass and pulling you closer to him so your bare heat was pressing against his deliciously cold belt buckle, you moaned rolling your hips to hit your clit either right pressure, Sam's hands squeezed hard as you opened your lips moaning his name, Sam took advantage of this as he slipped his tongue into the kiss, you fought for dominance over the kiss but there's not much Sam's tongue can loose too... especially when he's always practicing with it

Pulling away from the kids and stopping your actions "wait Sammy" you said pressing your hand on his shoulder "everything okay?" He asked panicked, you giggled "of course baby i just think we should save this for later" you smirked kissing his freshly shaven cheek "yeah your right" he said sitting you down on the kitchen counter next to his laptop case "so what's got you wanting to go out all of a sudden?" You were curious, normally you guys talked about dates, unless it's for birthdays or anniversary's "well Matt was talking about it saying the food there was great and I thought I should surprise you with a night out" Sam said kissing you once again, only this time it was a sweet kiss "your the best Sammy I love you so much" Sam have you a final kiss before pulling away giving you a smile "I love you more baby"

While Sam was taking a shower you decided do your make up, keeping it very simple as you were never one to do a bold eye, you put on some red lipstick to finish it off moving to your closet to pull on a black lace strapless bra and matching panties, you pulled on your red mini dress, you decided to pair the look with a pair of black stilettos and a black leather jacket to match your dress, Sam walked into your shared bedroom a towel gun loosely on his hips, his toned chest still dripping wet from the shower "you look beautiful Y/N" Sam said staring at you completely starstruck

Your turned giving your boyfriend a bright smile "thanks sweetie", Sam got dressed into a paris of black slacks and a dressy shirt, he styled his hair slightly, by the time you guys were finished getting ready it was 8:00pm, you made your way out to Sam's car to go to the restaurant. Sam parked the car and got out the drivers seat rushing over to open your door, extending his arm to you to help you out "what's for you being so gentlemanly tonight?" You asked linking your arm through his "I just want to make up for not taking you out regularly, your so beautiful I need to be showing you off every damn chance I get"

You giggled as you guys made it to the restaurant doors, Sam held the door open for you and you both walked up to the reception desk "hi we have a reservation for Winchester" the man nodded "of course and Winchester your table is ready, if you and the lovely lady can follow me please", the waiter said leading f you and Sam to your table, Sam pulled your chair out for you and once you were seated Sam sat on his own seat, the waiter placed two large menus on your table "would either of you like to order a drink?" Sam nodded "yes please, can I get a whiskey soda and can my girlfriend get a martini" the waiter nodded writing both drinks orders down "of course sir, they'll be right out" the waiter said walking towards the bar

"Wow Sam this place looks amazing" you said looking around the warm lit room seeing how crowded it was "yeah I've heard great reports from the place, so i though you and I should be the real judges of that" Sam said making you giggle, skimming through the menu you decided to order the chicken Parmesan with a side of fries, Sam decided on the steak, also with a side of fries, Sam and you made small chit chat about each others days as you waited for your food, which didn't take very long.

Both of you had cleared your plates "wow they weren't lying this place is amazing" you said placing your fork back on the empty plate "yeah it was incredible, we'll definitely be back here". "Can I interest you both on our desert menu, our chefs special tonight is the chocolate fudge cake infused with caramel filling and vanilla ice cream" that sounded incredible, Sam who was always able to read your mind was already ordering 2 of the chefs special, "I'm gonna run to the bathroom I'll be right back" Sam said, his voice coming out rushed, before you could ask if he was alright he was already heading to the bathroom's, you decided to brush it off maybe he had to pee really bad?

When Sam came back from the bathroom his demeanour was still the same, he looked around the restaurant anxious, once the waiter had came with your deserts he sat it down in front of both of you, you thanked the waiter, turning back to grab your spoon when you caught a glimpse of shine coming from your cake, confused you took a closer look, that's when you it... there was a ring on your cake a beautiful princess cut ring surrounded by little diamond, you breath hitched in your throat as tears tan down your face, when you looked back to Sam he was in front of you now, down on his knee, he took your hands in his, by now the whole restaurant was silent just watching you both in the most special moment of your life "Y/N, the second I laid eyes on you I knew you were special, after our first date I knew how right I was, your smart, kind and the most beautiful women in the world, your everything I have ever wanted and more, I could never imagine a life without you, you’re the reason I wake up smiling everyday because I get to wake up to you every morning I love you so much beautiful, will you marry me?” By the end of Sam’s speech you were in tear you let out a shaky breath “hell yeah I’ll marry you!” You cried reaching forward placing both hands on Sam’s face pulling him into a soft kiss

Once Sam pulled away he gently grabbed the ring giving it a quick clean, “you’ll be needing this” Sam chuckled as he took your left hand in his, he gently placed the ring on your finger officially making you an engaged women, the restaurant erupted into cheers for you both in celebrations.

Once you and Sam had left the restaurant you guys were on your way home as fiancés “i can’t stop smiling oh my god” you said holding your left hand in front of you as Sam drove “I’ve had that ring for a couple weeks now I just could figure out how to propose but I couldn’t hold it in anymore” Sam said as he pulled into your apartments parking lot. Walking up to your door Sam was picking you up bridal style making you squeal and grab him for balance “gotta start practicing carrying you over the threshold” Sam opened the door walking you both in before turning to lock up for the night, he started to walk you both to the bedroom playing with his slightly long hair “can’t wait to get you fiancé to bed huh” you joked

Sam chuckled dropping you gently to the bed “I’m so happy I can finally call you my fiancé now” Sam said gently taking your shoes off, his hands running up your legs, he went under the red dress pulling the black lace off your legs, Sam scrunched your dress up under your ass presenting your bare pussy In front him, the air making you clench at nothing, Sam smirked as he snaked his arms around your legs as he roughly pulled you to the end of the bed, you felt his hot breath against your core making you moan softly

Sam leaned in licking a stripe from your entrance to your clit to test the waters, when your body responded with your hand in his hair pushing him closer to you, Sam smirked against you as he got to work, Sam started fucking his tongue in and out of your right hole as his nose pressed against your clit making you see stars, you ran your hand through Sam’s hair your hips rolling against the movements of Sam’s tongue, Sam inserted his long thick finger inside of you, curling to hit your G spot with every thrust as he loved his mouth to your clit flicking it and sucking it into his hot mouth, once Sam added another finger it wasn’t long till you were chanting his name “oh my hod Sammy, I’m gonna come” you croaked out as you came hard on his tongue

Sam worked you through orgasm, pulling away from between your shaky legs he stood pulling his clothes off leaving him complete bare in front of you, you smirked moving to crawl towards him on weak legs, you stopped at his cock, his tip red and pre fun leaking from it, you wrapped your small hand around his big thick shaft moving your hand up and down at a slow pace to tease him, you went to take him into your mouth but Sam stopped you “tonight is all about you Y/N” Sam said grabbing the hem of your dress and pulling it off, leaving you in only your black lace bra, Sam grabbed the front of it tearing it off exposing your bare chest to him “oh fuck” you were dripping at this point wanting him to do something

Sam got the hint getting on top of you, he eased you back down on the bed, he leaned in to kiss you nipping at your bottom lip for entrance which was soon granted, Sam explored every inch of your mouth with his tongue, you moaned at the fact you could still taste yourself on his tongue, Sam moved the kissed down your neck sucking at your pulse point “please fuck me sam” you begged dying to feel the familiar stretch of his cock, sam chuckled moving his kiss down to your breast giving your nipple a playful bite, you arched your back at the feeling wrapping your legs around his hips, sam grabbed his shaft rubbing it up and down your folds coating his in your juices he groaned pressing his tip to your entrance,

Sam started to push his cock inside you inch by inch, not stopping until he bottomed out “you feel so fucking good baby” sam groaned as he started thrusting slowly to get you ready,”faster Sammy please” you begged so Sam grabbed your thighs, pushing them against your chest so your legs were over his shoulders, giving him the perfect angle to but your special spot, Sam pulled almost all the way out before slamming back inside you “oh fuck Sam!” You screamed in pleasure, Sam continued his pace the only sounds on the room that could be heard were moans and skin slapping skin “I’m not gonna last much longer” Sam groaned out “me either baby” Sam moved his hand down to your pussy and started to rub your clit to stimulate you “oh god I’m gonna cum” you screamed your head slamming against the pillow, Sam started to thrust into you even fast than before his fingers still rubbing your clit, you came in an instant, squirting all over Sam’s cock, that sent Sam over the edge as cam in spurts inside you “that was so fucking hot” Sam said his hips finally coming to a stop

he pulled out of you gently as he collapsed beside you pulling your sweaty body against his you leaned your head on his toned chest as you slowed your breathing, you couldn’t stop staring at the beautiful ring that now decorated your hand “I can’t believe we’re engaged” you said looking up at Sam who was already smiling down at you, “I know me either but I’m so glad you said yes” Sam grabbed your newly decorated hand in his as you both drifted to a sound sleep wrapped in your fiancés strong arms

You woke a few hours later to Sam still sound asleep, smirking you moved slowly out of his heaps as not to wake him just yet as you straddled him, his morning wood pressed against your core making you shudder, you leaned forward kissing his neck sucking a deep hickey under his jaw, Sam stirred as he slowly opened his eyes, smiling he wrapped his arms around your waist holding you close to him, pulling away from his neck you leaned in to cover his mouth with your own, sliding your tongue into his mouth, you and Sam continued to make out lazily

You began rubbing your folds over his erect penis, pulling away after a few moments you held his cock in your hand rubbing up and down jerking him off slightly “Y/N please” Sam moaned his hand’s gripping your waist tightly, “you want me to ride you handsome?”

You asked continuing to jerk him off “fuck yes!” You smirked as you hovered your dripping hole over Sam’s cock moaning Sam’s name as you say on him

Once Sam was fully inside of you, you began to bounce on his cock Sam groaned his hands moved to your ass gripping hard as helped you move up and down his length “oh god Sammy” you moaned as your breast bounced along with your motions, Sam was in a trance as he leaned forward taking your breast into his mouth sucking and biting before moving to your next breast repeating his actions

You soon felt your orgasms approaching “you gonna come Sammy” you teased knowing he was holding back, Sam took you by surprise gently pulling you off his shaft, he turned you around so you were on your hands and knees, Sam was behind you in seconds pushing his length inside you once more, he bottomed out against your ass, he was always able get deeper inside you when he took you from behind, Sam started to trust inside you at fast punishing pace “harder please” you begged your hands clenching the bedsheets so hard your knuckles were turning white

Sam obeyed instantly, he leaned forward his chest pressed against your back his hands moving to hold your breasts in his big hands as he started slamming his length inside your pussy, you screamed as Sam continued to thrust inside you as hard as he could until he was about to finish “cum with me gorgeous” Sam said as he squeezed your breasts his hips still going as hard as before, you obeyed and came with a scream of your fiancés name, clenching your pussy around his length pushing Sam to his end unleashing hot sports of cum inside you, Sam eventually pulled out and pulled you back to your previous position from last night, wrapped in his arms

Sam leaned over to kiss the top of your head, “well that was quite the wake up call” Sam joked smiling against your hair, giggling you place you ring hand on his chest “I wanted to wake my future husband up with a bang” you joked “well you certainly succeeded… i can’t wait to call you my wife Y/n” Sam said holding you closer to him “me either Sammy” you said closing your eyes and falling into a peaceful morning nap with your new fiancé, soon to be husband.

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suzannahnatters · 8 months

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Let Your Knights Weep

One of the big things I've had to train myself out of when writing medieval historical fiction?

The stiff upper lip.

This used to really bewilder my editor, who for some time attempted to nudge me away from having my grown men weep and wail and blubber, but for me it's an essential part of the setting. Whether in grief or fear, medieval people did not hold things back.

Here are some of my favourite quotes to explain.

First, a couple from two great 20th century medievalists:

CS Lewis in his Letters put it this way:

“By the way, don't 'weep inwardly' and get a sore throat. If you must weep, weep: a good honest howl! I suspect we - and especially, my sex - don't cry enough now-a-days. Aeneas and Hector and Beowulf, Roland and Lancelot blubbered like schoolgirls, so why shouldn't we?”

Dorothy Sayers, in her fabulous Introduction to her translation of THE SONG OF ROLAND, speaking of Charlemagne discovering Roland's body on the battlefield:

Here too, I think we must not reckon it weakness in him that he is overcome by grief for Roland’s death, that he faints upon the body and has to be raised up by the barons and supported by them while he utters his lament. There are fashions in sensibility as in everything else. The idea that a strong man should react to great personal and national calamities by a slight compression of the lips and by silently throwing his cigarette into the fireplace is of very recent origin. By the standards of feudal epic, Charlemagne’s behaviour is perfectly correct. Fainting, weeping, and lamenting is what the situation calls for. The assembled knights and barons all decorously follow his example. They punctuate his lament with appropriate responses:

By hundred thousand the French for sorrow sigh; There’s none of them but utters grievous cries.

At the end of the next laisse:

He tears his beard that is so white of hue, Tears from his head his white hair by the roots; And of the French an hundred thousand swoon.

We may take this response as being ritual and poetic; grief, like everything else in the Epic, is displayed on the heroic scale. Though men of the eleventh century did, in fact, display their emotions much more openly than we do, there is no reason to suppose that they made a practice of fainting away in chorus. But the gesture had their approval; that was how they liked to think of people behaving. In every age, art holds up to us the standard pattern of exemplary conduct, and real life does its best to conform. From Charlemagne’s weeping and fainting we can draw no conclusions about his character except that the poet has represented him as a perfect model of the “man of feeling” in the taste of the period.

OK, now let's dig into some quotes that I found just in Christopher Tyerman's Chronicles of the First Crusade and Joinville's Life of St Louis:

Truly you would have grieved and sobbed in pity when the Turks killed any of our men....

As for the knights, they stood about in a great state of gloom, wringing their hands because they were so frightened and miserable, not knowing what to do with themselves and their armour, and offering to sell their shields, valuable breastplates and helmets for threepence or fivepence or any price they could get....

When Guy, who was a very honourable knight, had heard these lies, he and all the others began to weep and to make loud lamentation....

They stayed in the houses cowering, some some for hunger and some for fear of the Turks....

Now at vigils, the time of trust in God’s compassion, many gave up hope and hurriedly lowered themselves with ropes from the wall-tops; and in the city soldiers, returning from the encounter, circulated widely a rumour that mass decapitation of the defenders was in store. To add weight to the terror, they too fled…

In the course of that day’s battle there had been many people, and of fine appearance too, who had come very shamefully flying over the little bridge you know of and had fled away so panic-stricken that all our attempts to make them stay with us had been in vain. I could tell you some of their names, but shall refrain from doing so, because they are now dead.

I could go on looking for quotes in all the other medieval literature I've read, but that would be beyond the scope of this Tumblr post.

In the meantime, this leads me to make some comments on how trauma was perceived.

In Jonathan Riley-Smith's The First Crusade and the Idea of Crusading, the author discusses the mental breakdowns suffered by the first crusaders during the second siege of Antioch, which caused many of them to flee at the moment of direst need:

In these stressful circumstances it is not surprising that the crusaders were often very frightened. At times, indeed, they seem to have been almost paralysed by a terror that they themselves could hardly comprehend. … When the crusade was bottled up in Antioch by Kerbogha's relief force it was gripped by such blind panic that there was the prospect of a mass break-out and on the night of 10 or 11 Juney 1098 Bohemond and Adhemar had the gates of the city closed. It is worth noting that many of those whom later chroniclers, writing after the events in comparative comfort in Europe, vilified for cowardice and desertion seem to have been treated more charitably by their fellow-crusaders, who must have understood what pressures they had been under.

In conclusion: the way we feel about things today in the English-speaking isn't necessarily the way people felt about things in the past (and this goes for other cultures, real or imagined, too). I'm continually catching myself writing people with stiff upper lips and emotional reservations, and having to remind myself that the culture was different back them. If a grown man wanted to weep, he could. That's a good thing. (Oh, and my medieval historical fantasy? Check out the Watchers of Outremer series on Amazon or wherever books are sold!)

#history #writing #historical fiction #medieval history #medieval #middle ages #historical #masculinity #history of masculinity #toxic masculinity

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charcoalhawk · 2 months

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Common knowledge

Summary: sometimes, Jazz forgets that things that were common knowledge in Amity park may not be all that common elsewhere.

Warnings: Phantom Planet is canon

“This class will be focused on argumentative and persuasive essays. The first two weeks will be developing your argument to-“

Jazz doesn’t mean to zone out, but after a rather frantic festive season she’s sorely behind on sleep. Besides she had read the syllabus front to back multiple times since it had been released the other day.

Jazz doesn’t know quite how to feel about this ‘persuasive writing class’ yet, but it’s required for her degree, so at the very least she can suck it up and keep chugging.

At least her other classes look fun so far, and both Deja and Louis are in Psych 102 with her, so they can compare notes.

So far, one whole semester completed and Jazz is pretty confident she has college down. Yes it was hard being so far from Danny and her parents, and the family otherworldliness of Amity, but Jazz needed this change.

A glance at the clock on the lecture room wall jolts Jazz back into paying attention to what the professor is saying. How had she zoned out for almost fifteen minutes? She definitely needed to get some better sleep tonight. Which unfortunately meant she couldn’t finish reading the Psychology textbook they had all been given yesterday.

“- and now, for the remainder of class we are going to discuss some possible essay topics. Now normally I would ask that we limit it to one topic per student, both to avoid copping and to allow for a wide range of topics. However, given the, ah, unexpected event that happened earlier this year, I am going to allow for multiple people to write about the same overarching topic. I would however ask that we think of some unique sub-categories so we can explore most of this topic.”

Jazz sits there stumped for a second. What could have possibly happened in the last year that multiple people would want to talk about it to this extent? Maybe a new game came out? She’ll have to ask Danny, he’d always kept up to date on that kind of stuff.

Or maybe it’s a new study somewhere? She knows she read something fascinating about brain waves in response to-

“Ghosts aren’t real!” Someone shouts from the far side of the classroom, bringing an abrupt halt to the quiet murmuring that had previously engulfed the classroom.“this all has to be some kind of super secret spy-ops thing that got leaked-“

“-Ghosts are totally real!” Another classmate retorts, “When I was six I saw my grandma’s ghost on the day of her funeral-”

“No way! That would me hundreds of years of research are now-“

“All right! All right.” The room quiets at the Professor’s slightly raised voice. “I know you all know how to behave in a classroom, so let’s all settle down and treat this as a discussion and not a shouting match. Now, Deja, would you like to go first?”

“Yes, thank you Professor. Now as I was saying, it’s chemically impossible for ghosts to exist-“

Oh.

Jazz had forgotten that most people hadn’t known ghosts were real.

Danny was going to laugh so hard when she told him about this. If she told him about this.

Maybe this time it could stay because just her and Bearbert.

#dp side hoes week 2024 #danny phantom #jazz fenton #humor

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auras-moonstone · 8 months

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girl, i’m in dire need of some jack angst!! (i know, i’m crazy for wanting my heart to be ripped out by your beautiful writing in the saddest way possible😂)

maybe he and the reader have been dating for a few months and have their first big fight, maybe he’s been a little too close to a girl the reader has been having weird gut feelings about. they break up after some harsh words were said, and a few weeks later the reader sees that he’s dating the girl he told her not to worry about 👀

a few months pass, and jack and the girl break up bc he can’t get over the reader, and he tries to win her back, but soon realises he lost her for good when he sees her ar an event or something with someone else, and it’s clear that they’re more than friends.

(i kinda envision this as actress!reader x jack. and the event could be the oscars + the reader’s new bf could also be an A list celeb)

lyrics that could inspire you:

“'Cause there we are again when I loved you so, Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known” - All Too Well (Taylor’s Version)

“I'm sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind, Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life” - I Don’t Wanna Live Forever

thank you so much and i’m sorry if this req is all over the place 😂😂❣️

hii! this might be one of the saddest things i’ve written yet. hope you like it<3

break me like a promise — jack champion

word count: 2,949

pairing: jack champion x actress!fem!reader, louis partridge x fem!reader (brief).

summary: jack breaks y/n’s heart, and after ten months he is determined to win her back, he sees her being happy with someone else.

author’s note: when i read “readers new bf could be a celeb” i knew i had to include the other love of my life aka louis partridge aka london boy.

Y/N AND JACK HAD MET THROUGH JENNA ORTEGA. The latter and Y/N both worked for Netflix, so they bumped into each other in lots of events and eventually became super close. And, knowing how big of a Scream fan Y/N was, Jenna invited her over to set and that’s where she met Jack.

No one could deny that sparks flew instantly between them, not even the two people involved. And that scared Y/N a bit, because her last relationship had left her with insecurities and trust issues, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to dive into another relationship.

Jack had been very understanding about it, and told her that they should start as friends. He assured her that he would wait as long as she needed to, that she was worth it. And after months and months of therapy, Y/N finally felt ready to try things with Jack.

They were in a lavender haze for months. Her relationship with Jack was unlike anything Y/N had experienced before. The love she felt for him was so strong that there was no way to put it into words. Jack was her best friend—he had held her hand as she healed, and drew stars around the scars that the previous relationship had left on her. And she never would have thought he was going to be the one who made the wounds bleed again.

Jealousy is often seen as a toxic feeling, and after talking with her shrink about it, Y/N came to a conclusion—the toxicity depends on the way you handle that feeling. So Y/N decided to put her fears on the table, instead of jumping into conclusions. That’s what she thought would be the most healthy thing to do. Jack would be honest with her, and the thoughts that had been eating her alive would disappear.

But as soon as she said the words and saw Jack’s expression of irritation, Y/N knew she should’ve kept her mouth shut.

“Seriously? I can’t have female friend now” Jack spat furiously.

“What?! Of course you can. That’s not what I’m saying” Y/N said calmly. “I just… she clearly has feelings for you. And I’m not saying you should stop hanging out with her, I just need to know if she’s just a friend to you… or if there is room for more.”

“I can’t fucking believe you’re telling me this.” he shook his head in disbelief.

“Jack, I’m not accusing you of cheating or anything, really. You’ve been spending so much time with her…” more than with me, she wanted to add. But that would make things worse. “and I just have this weird feeling. I need to know how you really feel, that’s it. If you tell me you don’t like her, I’ll believe you. But please be honest with me.”

“What I really feel is that you’re suffocating me with your shitty problems.” his demeanour was so calm, but his words were sharp as knives, and they cut right through her heart. She had trouble believing the words had actually left his mouth. “I’ve waited for you for months, I helped you through all of it. And now you’re making this shit up? Grow up.”

Y/N felt like throwing up. She felt like she was about to spit her heart. “You don’t mean that.” her voice broke. “In all of these months, when have I ever brought up one of your female friends? Not once. Because I know they are only friends. But with her, Jack, I just feel like there is something more. And yes, maybe I’m overthinking, but that’s why I’m asking. That’s it. I’m just asking, Jack.”

“Stop being so fucking paranoid. I get that your ex cheated on you, but stop seeing ghosts everywhere.”

“Why are you being so mean? Why are you avoiding the question? It’s simple, Jack. Do you have feelings for her?” Y/N asked, the knot in her throat grew in size when she noticed he couldn’t look her in the eyes. “Jack?”

“We’re just friends, jesus!” he said annoyed. Y/N wanted so bad to play dumb, to pretend she couldn’t see he was lying.

“You know I can read you like a book, right?” she asked softly, sad. “When you lie, you can’t look me in the eyes, you play with your hands and bite the inside of your cheeks.”

“Y/N… fucking drop it. I’m tired of this”

“We are over, Jack” she tried to walk towards the door, but he grabbed her and pulled her against his chest, trapping her in his arms.

He saw the tears steaming down her face and cursed himself. “Shit. No, please. Let’s talk. I’m sorry” he sound like he was about to cry, and Y/N knew she needed to leave. Because even though he had hurt her, the soft spot in her heart was still reserved for him.

“No, let’s just leave it like this because if you keep talking, I’m afraid I might end up resenting you, and I don’t want that.”

“I love you, Y/N” Jack hugged her tightly. “Please let’s fix this. I promise you nothing happened with her, and nothing will.”

“I love you too, but I don’t believe you. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore” and so she stepped away for the arms she loved the most in the world and left without glancing back. If she did, she knew she wouldn’t be able to leave.

EVER SINCE SHE WALKED OUT OF JACK’S HOUSE TWO WEEKS AGO, Y/N HAD BEEN OVERWORKING HERSELF TO AVOID HER THOUGHTS OF JACK CREEPING INTO HER MIND. She had stayed out of social media, and had deleted Jack’s number from her phone to avoid temptations. Her friends kept their eyes on her all the time, worried about the inevitable breakdown. You can only hold back for so long before it becomes too much.

Louis, her co-star, had been by her side as much as he could. And, like every morning, he was waiting for her on her trailer with a caramel macchiato and a shiny grin on his handsome face.

“And a chocolate chip muffin?” Y/N asked, seeing the mouth-watering treat next to her Starbucks drink. “What’s the special occasion?”

Louis stared at her, frowning. Not any indications of having had a break down, not even puffy eyes, which meant one thing—she hadn’t seen the pictures yet. “Nothing” he blurted, showing his charming smile. “Just saw it and had to buy it.”

“You really need to stop buying me these breakfasts, Lou. I’m going to get cavities” Y/N said taking a sip of her overly sweet drink.

“But look at how happy it makes you. Cavities will be worth it, don’t you think?”

“You may have a point. Scoot over” she told him, nudging his leg with her foot. Louis moved his body so that she could sit next to him on the small couch. It was not made for two people, so they were basically pressed against the other, yet they found it comfortable. Especially Louis, whose insides melted because of the closeness between them—his not so tiny crush on her was painfully obvious.

“What are you doing?” Louis asked, trying to keep his voice calm as she unlocked her phone.

“I forgot to check which surprise songs Taylor sang last night” she answered as she opened twitter. “Oh god”

“What?!” Louis squealed.

“She sang Cornelia Street and You’re on your own kid! And I wasn’t there, Lou!” she dramatically dropped her head on his chest. He couldn’t help but sigh in relief. “What is going on with you?” she laughed.

“Nothing. Why?” he laughed awkwardly.

“I don’t know, you’re extra jumpy and panicky today.”

“I’m always jumpy and panicky around you.” he said, trying to brush it off.

“No, you’re not” Y/N furrowed her eyes, locking her phone. Louis eyed the action and his chest relaxed. The girl noticed that, so she unlocked it again and started scrolling through Twitter. On her periphery, she saw the boy’s body tensing again. So it had to do with social media, she guessed. “Louis, I’m not dumb. Tell me what is going on.”

“Nothing” he repeated. “Let’s rehearse our lines.”

“Lou, I love you but you’re getting on my nerves right now. I hate being lied to, you know that.”

Y/N’s vulnerable eyes were his weakness, so he sighed and took her hand in his. “This weekend, some fans caught Jack walking around the city with a girl… and they… um, saw them kissing and holding hands.”

Y/N felt her heart drop, and her eyes started to sting. No. She wasn’t going to cry. She hadn’t let herself cry for two weeks and she was not going to start now. “Oh.”

“Give me your phone” Louis said softly. She was too lost in her own mind to question it, so she just obeyed. “I deleted Tik Tok and Instagram. And silenced any Jack related stuff on Twitter. You don’t need to see those pictures.”

“Louis… the girl… is it her?” Y/N asked, trying to keep her voice in control.

“Stop” his voice was firm.

“I want to move on, Lou. And for that, I need to know I was right first.” she pleaded. “Is it her?” her friend nodded slowly as he brought her to his chest. Y/N did a little nod too, and tried to stand up. “Let’s rehearse our lines.”

“Y/N…” he grabbed her elbow to push her back.

“Lou, please. I don’t want to cry, I don’t want to think about it.” he noticed she was two seconds away to burst into tears. And as much as he knew he would hate the sight of her weeping, it was necessary.

“I know you don’t, Y/N/N, but you have to if you want to move on. You’re never getting over this if you keep ignoring your need to cry.”

“I’m just afraid that if I do, I won’t be able to stop.” she confessed, tears starting to blur her vision.

“It feels like that now, but I promise you it’ll be good for you. You have been holding it back for weeks, and once you let it all out, you’ll start to heal” he said as he played with her hair.

“Two weeks… it took him two weeks to go off and date her. And it’s not only some girl… it’s her. He told me I was paranoid, and now he proved me right.”

Jack had promised nothing would happen between him and that girl, and now he broke his promise just like he had broken her heart two weeks ago.

After the realisation, it was like something snapped inside of Y/N, and one sob turned into desperate crying. Her fragile body shook under Louis’ arms, and he wished he could stop her pain. But he couldn’t, so he just stayed there with her holding her as she let it all out.

AS MUCH AS SHE HOPED THE CRYING WOULD EASE THE PAIN, IT DIDN’T. It had been months of being in a rollercoaster of feelings, sometimes she was okay, sometimes she was great and sometimes she was so low not even Louis’ hugs could lift her up.

The days where she didn’t have to shoot were the worst, because she spent hours in bed and her brain betrayed her by bringing the memories of Jack back. She missed him so much, it was completely agonizing. Why?, she asked herself when the room was dark and she couldn’t sleep. Why did he get to move on while she had to spend her days like that? She has been trying to pick up her heart while Jack was all lovey-dovey with the girl he swore was just his friend.

Jack continued her life without her, while Y/N woke up everyday with his memory over her. She longed for the picture of Jack’s dazzling smile to be gone from her mind. She prayed to forget the sound of his voice as he whispered the sweetest of things on her ear. She wished she could stop hearing his angelic laugh everywhere. She wanted to stop feeling the ghost of his touch against her skin. To forget that his lips were soft and that every time they were pressed against hers she could feel goosebumps all over her body. Y/N just wanted to stop being haunted by the memories of Jack.

Louis had slowly helped her through the process of moving on. He was there to offer his warmth when the wrenching thoughts triggered the waves of tears, and he was also there to make her break a smile once the sobbing stopped.

After eight months, the flood of her tears successfully carried away the thoughts of Jack, and Y/N knew she was finally clean. Not that she didn’t miss him, because Jack was her first love after all, and a small part of her would always love him.

It took her a few more months to be sure if she was ready to risk it again, but Louis’ sweet disposition, how he saw the best in her even in her worst times, showed her that he was worth it. And so she she watched it began again with him.

JACK AND THE GIRL LASTED FOR TWO MONTHS. He never intended to have something with her, but she was interested and he was lonely and sad, so he said yes. But reality crept in soon—he loved Y/N with all his heart and no matter who he was with, his thoughts would always go back to her.

He had been texting her for months, but she had blocked his number. He knew he could easily drive to her house, but he didn’t want to add salt to the multiple wounds he had inflicted on her, it would be selfish. So when Jack saw that Avatar 4 and Y/N’s drama film were both nominated for the Oscars, he knew it was his chance to make things right. To bring back the only real thing he had ever known.

But he didn’t plan on seeing her with someone else. And he knew they weren’t there together just as co-stars, they were each other’s date. The spark in Y/N’s eyes when she looked at Louis was familiar to Jack—it was the way they used to shine just for him. Jack had been the one to extinguish the spark on her eyes, and Louis had managed to light them up again.

And he wasn’t even mad or jealous. He actually felt happy and sad. Jack didn’t understand how it was possible for two opposite feelings to co-exist in his body at the same time. He realized it was a lost battle, yet he needed to do talk to her. For the sake of their once marvellous relationship.

Y/N got out of the bathroom and into the crowded room, but the thousands of people in it became blurry once she recognized the silhouette of a handsome tall boy leaning against the entrance. “Jack?” his name left her lips in a mix of anguish and surprise.

“Hey” he said softly. You look beautiful, he wanted to add, but restrained himself. “I wanted to talk to you.” Jack saw her grimace and continued before she could stop him. “I know. I know it’s the last thing you want, I just need to get this off my chest. You’re not paranoid or insecure. You never overwhelmed me with your problems. You were right, and I was a shitty boyfriend, friend and person, and you have been so amazing and patient… and I’m so sorry, Y/N. I never deserved your love.”

“You did… up until that night.” she said in all honesty. “I loved you so much, and then you said all of those things. I can’t forget about it, because I never expected those words to come out of your mouth.”

“I know, and I really don’t expect you to forgive me. It’s okay and understandable if you don’t, but I needed you to know that those things I said weren’t true at all.” Jack said, pressing his lips in a thin line. “To be honest, I came here with the mind set of trying to win you back” he confessed, and let out a little laugh, as if the idea was now ridiculous. “But I saw you with him and I know that I’ve lost you for good. Are you happy with him?”

Y/N saw his deep brown eyes starting to get glossy and her insides melted. She didn’t see him with romantic eyes anymore, but it didn’t mean the love was gone. She still cared for him with every bone in her body. “I am. He’s amazing.”

Jack smiled. Genuinely smiled, so widely that it made a few tears drop, and before she knew it, Y/N’s cheeks were wet too. “That’s great, Y/N/N. Really great. I’m happy for you.”

And that was the moment Y/N knew Jack honestly regretted the words he had said before their breakup. “I forgive you.”

The tall boy’s eyes widened “What?”

“I forgive you.” she repeated. “And you deserve to be happy too, okay?”

“Thank you” Jack said breathlessly, wiping away the tears.

“I need to go. But it was nice to see you, thank you for coming to talk to me. For real. I really needed that, I think we both needed that.”

And so they both smiled to each other one last time before parting ways. There was nothing left to say, staying friends had never been an option with them. They loved each other too much for that. When it came to Y/N and Jack, it was everything or nothing at all.

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chaoticloving · 1 year

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Hello! hope youre doing good!! I was wondering if you could write something about how Harry and Y/n just had to leave each other for work and Harry has an interview the next day and he's a little grumpy?? love SOH so much!!

Management

harry styles x reader (soh masterlist)

summary: harry wants to get back at one of his managers for what he said about his relationship with y/n, which makes for an interesting interview.

warnings: heavy allusions to sex, slut-shaming, and just lhh being the best protective bf ever

a/n: may have taken a bit further than grumpy…love lhh <3

The hotel was perfect: isolated, glamorous, and private. That’s why it was every celebrity’s dream. But to Y/n and Harry, it was their relationship’s paradise.

Y/n had a series of interviews lined up in Montreal and Harry just so happened to be able to fake sick long enough for the Montreal radio interview to be pushed back to an incredible two days. Two days was a lot for them, normally they’d have a phone call, a couple of hours, or even a day if lucky. But two days ment that they could spend the night together, and because One direction flew in on the red eye flight, they could get two.

When Harry checked in with the rest of the band, he went straight to his room, changed to pajamas and a sweatshirt with a hood, and left to room 2089, her room.

Harry got a little queezy on the trip up; his fear of heights combined with his lack of sleep and flying sickness didn’t make for a great combo. He just really needed some sleep.

He sprinted through the halls, knocked on the door, than yanked into the room by the only person he would want to yank him like that.

Y/n pushed him up against the closed door and kissed him. It was definitely messy—it was pass midnight and they’ve both been working, so who could blame them—but perfect for them.

“Darling I love your lips so much but I’m so tired I’m gonna need you to carry be to the bed.” Harry begged. “Need y’a to lift me up bridal style.”

“Mm, think you’ll have to carry me—“ Harry dropped his head so it was on her shoulder, grunting slightly. “—Or we can awkwardly waddle to the bed.”

They collapsed onto the bed, held in each others arms with sleep encompassing the couple right away. Harry was bear-hugging Y/n, practically turning into a blanket with the only goal of supplying her warmth. Y/n was happily hugging and subconsciously combing his long, unruly hair while they slept.

The work day started at 9 am. They haven’t seen each other much, but took comfort in the fact they could at least get mindnight to 9 together. Harry was receiving his goodbye kiss soon enough, though. It wasn’t a total loss; Harry got more kisses in the shower and showed Y/n exactly how much he missed her.

Harry was adjusting his pajama shorts as he was reluctantly pushed out of her room and raced to the elevator, making sure he didn’t give a surprise show to any of the guests in the hotel. He was alone in the elevator and ran into no one as he unlocked the door to him room.

He closed the door behind him and sighed, that is until he got spooked by some familiar faces.

“You could’ve let us know you got a booty call before we decided to have a 8am meeting, Styles.” Lenard, one of the many One Direction managers, yelled.

Among him was his mates, Niall, Liam, and Louis. All had their head down and a sorry look at Harry.

“I was only gone for a night.” Harry defended. “Still in the hotel-“

“I don’t want to hear your excuses, boy.” The grouchy man replied. “As punishment, you are on backups for the radio performance-”

“What?!”

“You heard me.” Lenard boomed. He turned to the other singers. “Take this as a warning boys. You’re all excused.” The other boys gave a sorry look to Harry, patting his shoulder, giving a nod, but they all could see was how pissed off Harry had become.

When the door shut, and it was just the two of them, Lenard got back on his bullshit again. “If your main concern is meeting with some girl willing to put herself out-“

“That’s unfair! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Harry yelled back. “I am not just sleeping around, I just missed my girlfriend.”

“Oh right, your girlfriend Y/n, the one who sleeps to get roles” Lenard snickered.

“That is not true you asshole!”

“Whatever you have to tell yourself.” Lenard spoke. Lenard knew fully well who Y/n is, she was the reason Harry wasn’t willing to go into PR relationships with other celebrities. Harry was the most marketable members of One Direction, and Lenard wanted to make sure he could do the most so he could get a raise in his salary.

“You’re more than welcome to fuck around with some other girls. That Jenner one—“

“I already said no, Lenard!” Harry seethed. “I’m sick of all your controlling nagging! I’m singing and dancing my ass off and putting all my work into this and all you can do is complain that I miss one of your surprise meetings!”

Lenard didn’t know what to say, or quite frankly, didn’t care, so he ignored Harry. “You’ll be on closer watch. I will make sure to tell security to never let you out of their sight.”

“That’s unfair-“

“Quiet or you’ll be on backups the rest of tour.” Lenard threatened.

“You can’t do that! I’m half the show!” Harry fought back. “You know the show won’t be any good if I’m on backups.”

“Just clean yourself up and wear what you are suppose to. Downstairs in thirty.”

Lenard walked out, slamming the door behind him. Not letting Harry get a word in.

During the whole interview, Harry had on a fake smile. He was glad Y/n taught him how to make a fake smile look more believable, because all he could see was red.

Ever since Zayn left, One direction management had tighten its claws onto the remaining members. Wanting to make the boys sign a new contract, locking in the boys practically permanently. Y/n, like always, came in a clutch when she prevented Harry from signing and got Harry to get a lawyer that wasn’t connect to 1D, providing her own. With this new lawyer, Harry was able to prevent permanent control, letting him drop when he needed; which only caused more chaos in the group.

As sad as he was for his friend for leaving the band, he understood were Zayn came from. Privacy, independence, freedom, that’s all he wanted.

“Harry you’ve been quiet here today, what’s on your mind.” The interviewer asked.

An idea came to Harry: subtly piss off management. His fake smile turned into a smirk.

“I’m thinking about a shag a recently had.” Harry replied.

“A shag?”

“A shag.” He said bluntly. “Now I got this song idea in my head.”

“How interesting.” The interviewing commented, trying to find an interesting yet pg way to spin this, yet all Harry could focus on was the middle aged men in suits on the other side of glass, all glaring at Harry, roaring up to end this.

“Anyone in particular?”

“According to public opinion, I can only ever write songs about one girl, so everyone can go figure who I’d sleep with.”

One of the managers banged on the window. Everyone looked up as he made a wrapping up sign with his hand. Harry smiled, proud of himself.

“Well, that’s One Direction for you folks…”

“That bloody fucker—“

“Hey, hey, hey.” One of the other managers, an older rich guy by the name of Vincent—the most tolerable out of the bunch, calmed Lenard down.

“He just ruined that interview! We’re going to have a weeks worth of bad press!”

“I already contacted them and they agreed to cuts Harry’s part…”

The voices trailed off as Harry snuck out of the group and into an elevator at the hotel, he made eye contact with one of the members of security but the man, Paul, had a soft spot for young love and simply looked away.

Harry pressed button twenty and the doors quickly shut, the elevator starting its climb to the high floor. He raced to Y/n’s room as the doors opened and rapidly knocked on her door.

“It’s me!” He yelled, knowing a crazy fan would knock the same way he was.

The door swung open and Y/n was met with a sad tall man, so genuinely looked like he needed a hug.

“Harry?” She ushered him inside, locking the door and pulling him in for a hug. “What happened?”

“Management.” Harry sighed. “I got yelled at for not being in my room because apparently there was an impromptu meeting this morning. Then I kinda implied we were together to stick it to him during the interview and said i was writing a song about us having sex and now he’s pissed and I’m so so sorry.”

Y/n broke apart from Harry’s tight hug, pulling back to get a look at the man, once boy, that was apologizing for standing up for himself. She couldn’t believe it. Against Lenard too, which makes Harry’s actions much more valid.

She stroked his cheek, looking into his green eyes that had a tinge of red from tears of anger forming in his eyes. “Hey if it’s to stick it to that Lenard then I’ll release our sex tape if it mean he’d quit and leave us alone.” Y/n joked, causing Harry to let out a much needed sigh of laughter.

“He’d probably drop me after that.”

“Yeah but he’d be jealous.” Harry smiled again, looking at the love of his life. He hand traced her jaw, and thumb traced her lip.

Harry nodded agreeing with the plan, until his face quickly went sour. “But my mum would kill me—god.” Y/n giggled as Harry look deeply annoyed.

“I think it’s time.” Harry’s decided, taking a deep breath before he continued. “I think I’ll bring it up with the others.”

“Really?” Y/n asked.

“Yeah. Lenard has already threatened to make me back up and he said some stuff about you-“ He took a deep breath. “I think I could do better on my own, with my own team. People who don’t care if I sleep with you, or sing about sex.” Harry chuckled, leaning into the fantasy.

“Oh yeah? And how would this sex song go?”

“Hmm.” Harry thought, before singing a jingle of a tune. “I just want to taste it.”

“Haha. You’re funny.” She chided. “Remember to never let your dick do the writing here.”

“Maybe writing about sex is a bit too much. Even for me.” Harry thought. “He would make it way to rude for public radio.”

“He?”

“Yeah my dick, Ed.” Harry teased. “You want to meet him again?”

“Wait Ed like Edward, your middle name?”

“Yeah and Ward is the name of my bonus nipple—“

“I think it’s time for bed.” Y/n interrupted. “You need sleep.”

Harry nodded and followed her lead, stripping himself until he was left in his boxers and she was in her bra and panties. Sex definitely was not on the menu tonight, but they both were a sucker to intimacy and body warmth.

“I’m flying out tomorrow morning.”

“Don’t remind me.” Harry groaned.

“I was thinking, you come with me.” Y/n asked.

“You mean I should skip interviews tomorrow?”

“You have sick days you’re entitled to.” Y/n reminded him, booping his nose. “They can’t sue you for catching a cold. And you definitely look sick in my expert opinion.”

“I guess I’ll take your word for it.” Harry snuggled closer. “Where are we going then?”

“Plane goes to England. Maybe see your mum and then leave to Italy?”

“That sounds so perfect.” Harry sighed, knowing that honestly sounds amazing. “I love you.” He kissed her face, sprinkling them all over her face. “So much.”

“I already said I love you. Don’t make me regret that." Y/n said, sleep taking over her voice. “Goodnight Harry.”

“Night, love.”

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emjayewrites · 2 months

Text

Private Landing (Lewis Hamilton Fanfic)(4/?)

SUMMARY: In the high-speed world of Formula One, Lewis Hamilton subtly introduces a mysterious partner via Instagram after a slight mishap during an interview. Sparking media intrigue, everyone wants to know: who is the enigmatic figure that calls herself Mrs. Hamilton?

INSPO: this post

PAIRINGS: Sir Lewis Hamilton x Aurora "Rorie" Phillips-Hamilton (faceclaim is Justine Skye)

WARNINGS: drama, angst, sexual content, formula one b.s., pre-established relationship (with flashbacks). RATED M (18+)

TAGLIST: @queenshikongo3 @cocobutterqwueen @httpsserene @mauvecherie-writes @galatially @pausmoon @a-moment-captured @nikki01234 @yeea-nah @sirlew44 @melodichaeuxx-lacritquexx @weetjy @lewisroscoelove @hxneyclouds @questionable-behaviour @marzzrambles @lovebittenbyevans @tian-monique @alika-4466 @saintslewis @cherry2stems @mitruscity @burberryfilms @planetmimi @woderfulkawaii @d3kstar @liamundi @trinitoldyouso @scorpiobleue @pharaohanubis0 @certifiedlesbianbaddie @blveeeeeee @sugardontbesweet @omgsuperstarg @bluesole16 @serpenttines-library @peyiswriting @royallyprincesslilly @jasmindaughteroftheworld @laptiteantillaise @purplelewlew

A/N: Please let me know if you want to be added/removed from the taglist. The headers/dividers are by @inklore

CHAPTER 4: Summer Break '23

The summer break had finally arrived, and Lewis couldn't contain his excitement. After a grueling first half of the season, he was ready for some time off to relax and recharge. Plans for two trips were set: one with his best mates Miles, Andrew, Louis, and Jas as well as Rorie and some of her girlfriends for a one-week cruise around Turkey, and another with his family to Colorado for relaxation and bonding time.

He missed hanging out with his boys, but he also missed his wife. Lewis wanted her to be with him in Belgium when he finished the first half of the season, but she had an interview with Bustle to prepare for, not to mention check in with Lyric and make sure everything was running smoothly at home. He was immensely proud of her for all of the opportunities that came her way, and he was certain that there was so much in store for her.

This break from racing was much needed for him, especially since his team's performance thus far had been subpar. They were struggling to keep up with their main competitor, Red Bull, and it was taking a toll on him mentally. He thought he had left all his emotions behind on the track, but they followed him even as he escaped to the Kusadasi port with his wife as they waited for their friends to arrive.

"Is everything alright?" Rorie asked, noticing the worried expression on her husband's face.

"I just can't stop thinking about the races and how we're not performing as well as we should," Lewis replied.

Rorie placed a reassuring hand on his arm. "You're still an amazing driver, Lewis. Don't let this get to you."

"I know, but I hate losing," Lewis sighed. "I want to win another championship for my team."

"Well, that's something we can work on when we get back," Rorie said with a smile. "But for now, let's enjoy our break and each other's company."

“You’re right.” Lewis nodded and leaned in for a kiss from his supportive wife. She always knew how to comfort him and put things into perspective.

“I’m always right,” giggled Rorie as he placed tender kisses along her jawline. He grumbled an indecipherable reply and the deep timbre sent shivers down her spine.

"Rorie!!" The sound of Kiara's high-pitched made Lewis groan and facepalm.

"You invited her, really baby?" he asked, irritated, as he moved away from his wife’s embrace.

"Of course I did," Rorie replied with a scoff. "KiKi is fun, and I think she has a little crush on Miles."

Lewis's eyes widened as he realized Rorie's intentions. "Please don't tell me you're trying to set them up."

"And if I am?" Rorie raised an eyebrow before striding off to greet her friend.

"Girl!" KiKi smiled widely as she took in the luxurious multi-level yacht that they were on. "I know your man got money, but this is wild! Thank you for inviting me; I bought Casamigos!"

"Yes!" cheered Rorie as she gave KiKi another hug. "I can always count on you to get the party started."

A small smirk appeared on Lewis' face. Despite her annoying demeanor, he had to give it to KiKi for bringing the fun. Whenever Rorie drank Casamigos, she turned into a bona fide freak in bed - something he definitely looked forward to.

Maybe inviting KiKi might not be bad after all, he thought. If he could get even two minutes of “special time” with Rorie, that would certain make him feel a whole lot better.

"Hey, Lew!" she spoke to him and he replied with a friendly wave. "You spent a lot of money on this yacht, my friend. I can already tell that this is going to be a trip of a lifetime."

Lewis chuckled at KiKi's comment, knowing that she was right. He had spared no expense in renting out this impressive yacht for their vacation. It was the least he could do for his closest friends and wife, who had been by his side through all of his races and training sessions.

"Something like that. How was your flight?" Lewis asked, trying to make conversation with KiKi as they waited for the rest of their friends to arrive.

"It was good," KiKi replied with a smile. "I ended up watching movies the whole time. Where's Miles fine ass at?"

Lewis rolled his eyes at KiKi's flirtatious comment. "He'll be here soon."

"I'll be surprised if you don't have him wrapped around your finger by the end of the night," Rorie teased.

KiKi rolled her eyes playfully. "Please, I already have him wrapped around my finger."

Just then, Miles, Louis, Andrew, and Jas arrived and joined them on the yacht. Miles hugged Rorie and Lewis before greeting KiKi with a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey gorgeous," he said with a charming smile. "Long time no see."

"Hey yourself, handsome," KiKi replied, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously.

The rest of Rorie's friends arrived on the yacht - Tia, Ayesha, and Britt. They were all excited to see each other and catch up. Tia and Ayesha were Rorie's closest friends from college and Britt was her childhood best friend.

As they settled into the yacht, Lewis went to check on the captain and make sure everything was in order. Meanwhile, Rorie and her friends grabbed some shots from the bar and headed to the deck.

"Can you believe it's been eight years since we graduated?" Tia exclaimed, raising her glass. "Cheers to us still being friends!"

They all clinked glasses and downed the shots.

"I can't believe we're all here together," Ayesha said with a smile. "It's like old times."

Everyone nodded in agreement, reminiscing about their college days and how much they had grown since then. Tia and Ayesha were both successful lawyers now, while Britt had pursued her love for photography and found success as a freelance photographer. KiKi had established a catering business in New York.

"Yeah, except now we're all successful women with our own careers," Britt added. "Rorie especially - Mrs. Hamilton and budding socialite."

Rorie laughed at Britt's words, feeling grateful for all the blessings in her life. She never imagined she'd end up marrying a world-renowned race car driver, but here she was, living her dream.

"Speaking of which," Rorie said, eyeing KiKi slyly. "What about you, KiKi? When are you going to settle down?"

KiKi rolled her eyes and took another sip of her drink. "I'm living my best life as a single woman," she replied with a smirk.

"She's too busy chasing after every hot guy she sees," Miles chimed in, earning a playful slap from KiKi.

"Funny coming from the one who slid into my DMs less than a day ago," KiKi retorted, causing everyone to fall silent with their jaws hanging open in surprise.

Lewis muttered under his breath, "Wow," and shot a telling look towards his best friend.

The group burst into laughter at Miles's expense and he playfully pretended to be offended.

"Hey, I have a reputation to uphold," he joked. "But in all seriousness, KiKi is a catch. Any guy would be lucky to have her."

KiKi grinned, knowing that Miles was just trying to make up for his slip-up. She didn't want to waste any more time talking about relationships when they were supposed to be having fun and letting loose on the yacht.

"Enough about me," she said, grabbing another bottle of Casamigos from the bar. "Let's focus on having a good time!"

Everyone eventually settled in, deciding to change into their swimwear and take a dip in the crystal clear waters surrounding the yacht. They all jumped off the deck and into the refreshing sea, laughing and splashing each other. The yacht sailed further into the Aegean, the warm sun and gentle breeze making for a perfect day out on the water. The group relaxed on the deck, enjoying drinks and snacks while taking in the beautiful views around them.

Meanwhile, Britt was busy capturing all the beautiful moments with her camera. She wandered around the yacht, snapping photos of everyone enjoying themselves. Lewis noticed her from where he sat with Rorie.

"Britt's really talented," he commented.

"Yeah, she's always loved photography," Rorie replied.

Suddenly, KiKi stood up from where she was sitting next to Miles.

"Alright guys," she announced with a grin. "It's time for our next activity: never have I ever!"

There were groans of protest from some members of the group while others whooped with excitement. Lewis and Rorie exchanged a knowing look, already anticipating the chaos that was about to ensue.

"I'll start!" KiKi declared, throwing back her shot of tequila before proclaiming, "Never have I ever hooked up with someone on a yacht."

This immediately caught everyone's attention and they all looked around at each other, trying to gauge who had done it and who hadn't.

Miles took a shot and laughed. "Looks like you're out, KiKi."

KiKi shrugged nonchalantly. "Hey, it was a yacht party. Things happen and I'll do it again." She shot Miles a flirtatious smirk, causing him to chuckle.

"Don't start nothing you can't finish, baby,” he teased her with a suggestive wink.

"Bring it on, Daddy," responded KiKi, causing everyone to hoot with laughter.

Rorie went next, taking a gulp of her drink before declaring, "Never have I ever went skydiving."

Lewis took a shot, causing her to laugh and give him a high five.

The game continued, with each person revealing some wild or funny experience they'd had. It was now Jas' turn and he glanced around the group with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes.

"Never have I ever kissed someone of the same gender." Jas declared.

All the women took shots, laughing as they did so.

"Wait, what?" Lewis exclaimed, his eyes widening in surprise. "You've all kissed another girl?"

"Well, yeah! It's a pretty common thing," Tia replied with a shrug.

Rorie chuckled and nudged her husband. "Don't worry, babe. You're the only one for me."

Lewis grinned and pulled her in for a kiss, causing KiKi and Miles to make gagging noises.

"Okay okay, let's continue the game," Jas interjected with a laugh. "You're turn Lou."

Louis thought for a moment before saying, "Never have I ever gone skinny dipping in the middle of winter."

Everyone laughed and took shots, except for Miles who shook his head. "Why would anyone do that?"

"It was a dare from my sorority sisters in college," Ayesha explained with a grin. "I couldn't back down."

"Alright, my turn," Tia said with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Never have I ever had a one-night stand with a celebrity."

The group immediately turned to Britt who took a sip of her drink.

"Who was it?" Miles asked, already sensing that this was going to be good.

"I'm not telling," Britt replied with a sly smile.

Lewis whistled impressed. "Damn girl, you're full of surprises tonight."

Jas laughed and put an arm around Britt's shoulder. "You're definitely our wild card for this trip."

Ayesha was next, "Never have I ever tried anal sex."

The group erupted into laughter at Ayesha's unexpected declaration.

"Shit, where did that come from?" Miles asked, still laughing.

"What? It's just a question," Ayesha defended herself with a shrug.

Only Rorie and Lewis took a shot. Rorie giggled and whispered something to Lewis, causing him to laugh.

"What was that?" KiKi asked curiously.

"Just reminiscing about our honeymoon," Rorie replied with a wink.

Tia grinned mischievously, "Okay okay, let's keep playing before we all get too fucked up."

"Okay okay, my turn," Britt said eagerly. "Never have I ever had sex in a public place."

Some took shots while others shook their heads in disbelief.

"Wait, seriously? Where?" KiKi asked with wide eyes.

Britt's cheeks warmed and shrugged. "In a movie theater parking lot."

Everyone's jaw dropped at her bold confession.

"Damn girl, you're truly are wild as hell," Jas exclaimed with a laugh. "It's always the quiet ones, bro."

It was now KiKi's turn again and she turned to Rorie and Lewis with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Never have I ever been caught having sex by someone I know," she declared.

Everyone turned to Lewis and Rorie with curiosity, wondering if they would take a shot or not. With a chuckle, Lewis lifted his glass to his mouth and downed the drink in one go. Then, he picked up his wife's glass and did the same.

"You freaky bastard," Louis said with admiration.

"Y'all gotta chill though, for real," Miles commented. "You guys gonna end up having another baby."

"What? Who caught you guys?" Britt pressed excitedly.

Lewis smirked and leaned back in his chair. "That's for me to know and for you to never find out."

"It had to be almost everyone on this yacht, though," KiKi retorted, earning her a chiding glare from Rorie. "What? Don't look at me like that, mamas. You know it's the truth. I caught y'all a few times."

"Same here!" Miles concurred, raising his hand.

"Me too," noted Jas with a laugh.

"Okay okay, let's keep playing," Tia interjected with a grin.

The game eventually came to an end as everyone was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. They all stumbled back to their cabins, laughing and joking along the way. Once they were in their respective rooms, Rorie and Lewis cuddled with each other in bed.

"This has been a great night," Rorie said, resting her head on Lewis' shoulder.

"It has," Lewis agreed, running his hand through her hair. "Thank you for planning this. I needed a break from all the racing drama."

"Anything for my husband," Rorie replied with a smile.

“Really?”

Lewis felt a surge of love for Rorie wash over him. He knew that she always had his back, no matter what.

“Of course,” she responded, staring at him intently.

“What if I want you to take off this shirt?” he said as his finger pulled down the strap tentatively. “I don’t think you need all these clothes on, sweetheart.”

He leaned in for a kiss, but their moment was cut short by muffled moans coming from the adjoining room.

"That's probably KiKi and Miles," Rorie said, trying to hide her smirk.

"Yep, sounds like they're having a good time," Lewis replied with a smile. "I can't believe you actually set up my best friend with yours."

The moans grew louder and more enthusiastic, prompting laughter from both Lewis and Rorie as they listened to their friends' escapades.

“I thought you said that the walls were sound proof?”

Lewis shrugged at his wife. “Shit, I guess not.” His fingers roamed her bare shoulder, making their way downward to cup her breasts.

“How can you still be in the mood? The noises don’t bother you?” Rorie said, swatting his hands away.

“I can ignore it.”

“Well, I cannot,” scoffed Rorie as she turned over. “No snookie.”

“Baby…”

“Nope, it’s too awkward.”

Lewis let out a disappointed sigh as he glanced down at his semi-erect penis. It was straining against the confines of his boxers, aching for release, yet he highly doubt that will happen. This was definitely not how he planned on having the night end, and suffice to say, he was going to have a word with KiKi and Miles.

The next morning, everyone woke up to a beautiful sunrise over the ocean. They all met in the dining area for breakfast, still laughing and reminiscing about the previous night's game.

"Good morning, lovebirds," KiKi teased Lewis and Rorie as they walked in holding hands.

"Shut up," Rorie blushed, playfully swatting at KiKi.

"I'm just jealous," KiKi sighed dramatically. "Miles is too tired from last night to even hold my hand."

“Must be nice,” Lewis grumbled under his breath while everyone else laughed.

They settled down at the table to eat breakfast. The mood was light and carefree as they chatted and made plans for the day.

"So what are we doing today?" Louis asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Well, Lewis and I were thinking we could all go out on a boat for some water activities," Rorie suggested. "We could also explore Bodrum for a bit."

"That sounds like a great idea," Tia said.

"Yeah, and then maybe we can all have a seafood lunch later?" Jas added.

"Sounds perfect to me," Britt agreed.

"Where do we go after Bodrum?" wondered KiKi.

"We have about two days in Bodrum then two days in Rhodes. From there it's Antalya for three days and we spend the rest of the time in Cappadocia," said Lewis.

The group spent the rest of the morning getting ready and packing their beach bags. Rorie and Lewis had arranged for a private boat to take them out on the water, equipped with all the necessary equipment for various water activities.

As they boarded the boat, everyone was in high spirits, excited for a day of fun and adventure. They made their way out to sea, taking in the stunning views of the turquoise water and rocky cliffs.

They took turns jet skiing and banana boating. The group spent several hours out on the water before making their way back to shore. They were all exhausted but thrilled from their day of adventure.

"That was amazing!" exclaimed Britt as they docked at Bodrum harbor.

"I haven't had that much fun in a long time," added Tia with a smile.

"We should definitely make this an annual tradition," suggested Jas.

Afterward, they explored Bodrum, taking in the sights and sounds of the beautiful coastal town. The group settled down at a nearby restaurant for lunch, enjoying the fresh seafood and soaking up the vibrant atmosphere of Bodrum. As they ate and chatted, Miles approached Lewis with a serious expression. "Hey bruv, can we talk for a sec?"

Lewis nodded and followed Miles away from the rest of the group.

"I just wanted to say thank you for setting me up with KiKi," Miles said sincerely.

"It wasn't me, it was Rorie," Lewis replied with a smile. "But I'm glad it's working out."

Miles sighed and looked out at the ocean. "It's just been so long since I've been with someone and she makes me feel alive again."

Lewis could see the genuine happiness in Miles's eyes as he spoke about KiKi. He put his hand on Miles's shoulder in support.

"I'm happy for you, man," Lewis said.

Miles smiled gratefully at his friend before they headed back to join the rest of the group.

The group explored more of Bodrum, visiting local markets and souvenir shops before finishing off lounging on the yacht. Their time in Rhodes and Antalya was the same: exploring, eating amazing food, immersing themselves in activities like hiking and riding ATVs.

Soon, they arrived at their final destination, and the group couldn't help but feel excited and curious about what Cappadocia had in store for them. The landscape was unlike anything they had ever seen before - a surreal mix of dusty red and white rock formations scattered across the horizon.

After a few hours on the road, they finally arrived at their hotel, an elegant cave accommodation carved into the side of one of the fairy chimneys. The rooms were luxurious and spacious, with soft lighting and plush furnishings.

"Welcome to Aza Cave Hotel, Hamilton Party," the concierge greeted with a warm smile. "Please, have some tea."

A waiter came around offering Turkish tea. Each of them took a cup and sipped slowly, savoring the rich and aromatic taste.

"This is really good!" exclaimed KiKi. "Do you guys sell this? I would love to take some back home."

"Of course, ma'am," said the concierge. "I'll make arrangements to have a selection gift box placed in your room. It contains all of our popular blends."

The group thanked the concierge and took some time to freshen up before meeting in the lobby to head to dinner at the hotel's terrace restaurant. As they made their way to the restaurant, the group couldn't help but admire the stunning view of Cappadocia at sunset. The orange and pink hues of the sky reflected off the unique rock formations, creating a magical ambiance.

Once they were seated at their table, the hotel staff brought out a delicious spread of traditional Turkish dishes - from savory kebabs and dolma to fragrant rice pilaf and mezze platters. Everyone dug in eagerly as they discussed their plans for exploring Cappadocia.

"We have an early morning start tomorrow," Rorie said as she took a sip of her wine. "We're going on a hot balloon ride."

"I can't wait!" exclaimed Britt, bouncing in her seat with excitement.

"It's going to be amazing," added Jas, grinning from ear to ear.

"How early is early though?" she wondered aloud, making everyone turn to stare blankly at her.

"What? I'm just saying what everyone is thinking," KiKi defended herself with a laugh.

"Early is early, Kiara," Miles teased, nudging her side. "Why? You need extra time for some beauty sleep?"

"I mean, yeah," nodded KiKi with a grin. "Y'all have been tiring me out. I don't think I've stayed up this late since college."

"If you're getting old, just say that, girl," joked Tia, causing KiKi to hit her playfully with a napkin.

"Never that, sweetie," she retorted, "but I need some time to relax too."

"They have a spa here, y'know?" Ayesha said. "We can hit it up later."

"Say less, girl!" KiKi grinned widely.

"I mean since the girls are gettin' their massage on, I say we hit up a game of pool after the balloon ride," suggested Jas with a sly grin.

"You think we would want to play another game with you after you just cheated during basketball?" teased Lewis, reminding everyone of how Jas had cheated during their pickup game while they were sailing to Antalya.

"Oh come on, it was all in good fun," Jas defended herself with a laugh. "But seriously, we should do something active."

"I'm down for pool," said Andrew. "Or maybe bowling? I heard there’s a bowling alley here."

"We could go for a hike tomorrow instead," Louis suggested. "I heard there are some amazing trails around here."

"That actually sounds perfect," said Miles.

"Okay, so that's settled then," concluded Lewis. "We'll go hiking tomorrow."

The group continued chatting and laughing as they enjoyed their drinks and snacks. Eventually, Rorie looked at her watch and realized it was getting late.

"Guys, as much as I'd love to stay out all night with y'all, I think I’m going to head to bed soon," she announced.

"Yeah, same here," agreed Ayesha. "We have an early start tomorrow."

"Okay, let's call it a night then," said Tia.

The group said their goodnights and headed back to their rooms. Lewis and Rorie made their way down the echoing hallway, the dim light casting long shadows across the walls. Upon entering the room, Lewis wasted no time in pulling Rorie closer to him, his eyes filled with longing. He leaned in, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss that spoke volumes of the desires burning within him. Rorie could feel the intensity of his touch, the heat of his body pressing against hers, igniting a fire deep within her soul.

Rorie gently pulled away, a look of concern in her eyes. "Lewis, we really don't have time for this," she whispered, trying to reason with him. "It's almost midnight, and we need to be well-rested for our early morning balloon ride."

"I'll be quick," he says as he plants kisses down her neck.

“You always say that,” Rorie chided as she rolled her eyes. She allowed his kisses to trail downward to that special spot on her collarbone. Rorie couldn't help but let out a small moan as Lewis continued to kiss her, his hands roaming over her body. She had to admit, she was tempted to just give in, but she knew they would regret this in the morning. “You have fifteen minutes. Can you work with that?”

Lewis grinned mischievously, his hands still roaming over Rorie's body. "I can work with anything," he replied, his voice laced with desire.

The next morning, the group gathered in the lobby of the hotel bright and early. They were all dressed comfortably for their hike and ready for a day of adventure.

Rorie noticed Lewis standing off to the side, looking a little tired.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" she asked him softly.

"Not really," he admitted with a sheepish grin as he waggled his eyebrows. "But it was worth it." He added a light slap on her ass for dramatic effect, causing Rorie rolled her eyes playfully and give him small smile.

They were greeted by the hotel staff with warm towels and fresh coffee before heading out to meet their tour guide.

"Good morning, Hamilton Party!" exclaimed the guide, a friendly man named Murat. "Are you ready for an unforgettable experience?"

The group eagerly nodded as they boarded the van that would take them to the balloon launch site. As they drove through the quiet streets of Cappadocia, Murat shared interesting facts about the region's history and culture.

They arrived at the launch site just as the sun was starting to rise. The sight of dozens of colorful balloons filling up with air against the backdrop of Cappadocia's unique landscape took everyone's breath away.

"Wow," whispered Miles in awe.

"This is going to be incredible," said Lewis with a grin.

After a safety briefing from Murat, they climbed into their designated balloon basket and took off into the sky. The feeling of weightlessness and the stunning views around them left everyone speechless.

As they glided over fairy chimneys and valleys, Murat pointed out notable landmarks and answered any questions they had. The whole experience was truly magical.

After an hour-long flight, they landed smoothly back on solid ground. Everyone clapped in excitement as they made their way back to Aza Cave Hotel for a well-deserved breakfast.

"That was absolutely amazing!" exclaimed KiKi as she dug into her plate of Turkish pastries.

"I can't believe we got to see Cappadocia from above," added Britt with a dreamy smile.

"It was definitely one for the books," said Jas with a satisfied sigh.

"Did I tell you guys how much I love y'all?" Miles said with a playful grin as he wiped crumbs off his mouth.

"You don't have to say it," KiKi replied, giving him a warm smile. "We know."

“No but seriously,” said Miles. “I love you guys for real. This has been one of the most amazing weeks of my life. I truly appreciate our friendship. To friendship!” he lifted up his cup of coffee and everyone joined with their various glasses.

“To friendship!” everyone toasted.

"I can't believe we almost didn't come here," Ayesha said with a shake of her head. "We would have missed out on so much."

"I know, right?" agreed Jas. "But I'm glad we took this trip together."

"Me too," Lewis added, putting his arm around Rorie's shoulder.

"This has been one epic adventure," Britt said with a sigh. "But now it's time to go back to reality."

"Don't remind me," KiKi groaned playfully. “I want to stay in Turkey forever.”

Days later in London......

Alexander sat in his office at The Sun, sifting through the documents that the private investigator had handed him. He couldn't believe what he was reading.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked, looking up at the PI.

"Positive," replied the PI. "I double-checked all my sources and everything adds up."

Alexander leaned back in his chair, trying to process this information. He had been tasked with finding out any secrets or questionable behaviors of the Hamilton family, and this was certainly a bombshell.

"And how did you find all of this out?" he asked the PI.

"I have my ways," replied the PI with a smirk.

Alexander nodded, still deep in thought. "Anyone else knows about this?" he asked.

"I highly doubt it," said the PI.

"Good, we’ll be the first tabloid to break the news then. Well, thank you for your work on this," he said to the PI. "I'll make sure your payment is sent over promptly."

As soon as the PI left his office, Alexander pulled out his phone and dialed his boss’ number.

"Hello?" answered his boss, David, on the other line after a few rings.

"David, it's Alexander," said Alexander in a serious tone.

"Any news?”

“Tons. You wouldn’t believe what I’ve just found out about Rorie Hamilton.”

"Well done, Alexander," said David with a hint of excitement in his voice. "This could be the story of the year."

TO BE CONTINUED......

#sir lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fanfic #sir lewis hamilton x black!reader #private landing #lewis hamilton x black!reader #lewis hamilton x rorie hamilton #formula one fanfiction #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #emjayewrites

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prismatic-bell · 1 year

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So @hejeksbs saw that post about fandom olds freaking out about IWTV stuff being posted on the AO3, and said they’re new to fandom and fandom culture and don’t understand. So congrats, Hejek, you’re one of today’s lucky 10,000. This is going to be a basic primer, but I encourage others to chime in with details. (Also, thanks for reminding me I need an Interview exhibit in the museum. I had that written down somewhere.)

So if you go back to the 1990s and early 2000s—the pre-AO3 digital years—you’re going to see an official disclaimer on just about every fic. These basically said “I don’t own anything here, please don’t sue me.” Some were quoted elaborate.

These started because of Anne Rice.

See, Anne Rice was, how can I say this nicely…an asshole? The day she died there were literally people posting crab rave and “Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead” from The Wizard of Oz on Tumblr. Because before Harry Potter fanfiction was pretty frowned upon and you might get a C&D if you didn’t keep your head down properly, but Anne Rice.

ANNE RICE.

Anne Rice literally recruited her “loyal fans” to harass people who made fanworks. At least one person was doxxed to her workplace by rabid Ricers, and at the time fanfiction was taboo enough you could absolutely get fired for that. I was eleven and friends with someone who was 13 who’d just read Interview and drew this wonky I-am-a-kid-who-can’t-really-draw-yet-but-I-loved-this-SO-MUCH piece of fanart of Louis and Lestat, and she literally dipped off the internet because she got an extremely nasty “I’m suing you” threat from Rice. (Are you out there, Mercury000? It’s me, sailorsharon0722.)

Anne Rice did everything in her power to ensure there was no IWTV fandom at all. I’ve heard from people older than me that she used to host a “vampire’s ball” every year in New Orleans for her “loyal fans” but if you showed up and she felt your costume outshone her own, she’d make you leave. People didn’t dare so much as put “Lestat” and “fanfiction” in the same sentence.

And then, irony of ironies, when her reputation got so bad she was struggling to sell books, she…became a Christian and started writing Bible fanfiction to sell.

Yeah.

Over the years there were claims she’d changed her mind about fanfiction, but nobody ever had evidence to back this up. I even saw a dude on Quora claiming to be a close friend of hers saying we were all lying, and he got absolutely ratioed by fans going “I still have my C&D letter, you wanna fucking try again?”

Incidentally, I would like to point out that her attitude wasn’t uniform. It’s easy to say “that’s just how it was,” but Neil Gaiman has been around since the 1980s and has always appreciated fanfiction. Stephen King’s approach is “please tell me, to my face, that me explicitly writing about Cthulhu isn’t fanfiction” and otherwise pretty lassez-faire (he has no interest in knowing you’re writing fanfiction of his stuff, he just genuinely doesn’t care), and his first book was published in the early 1970s. Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, actually accepted submissions of fanfiction scripts DURING THE SHOW’S ORIGINAL RUN, at least according to popular lore. (@dduane, can you check me on this?) Mercedes Lackey—who’s 1980s-and-1990s fantasy royalty—has been asked on Quora about why she “changed her mind about fanfiction” and her response was “I never changed my mind, I just had to talk my publisher into accepting it. I’ve always been okay with it but I had to say no because of my contract.” Sure, Diana Galbaldon was out there comparing fanfiction to rape(????), but even among those who disapproved of fanfiction, Rice’s attitude and actions were extreme. And they persisted into the 2000s, too, with her egging on fans who harassed and sent death threats to a YouTube reviewer who didn’t like one of her books.

AO3 changed ALL of that.

AO3 said “here is our well-researched legal claim that fanfiction is legal, and if someone gives you shit about works you have posted on our website, our lawyers will represent you. You can post safely here. It’s okay. We got your back.”

Even so, the fear about Anne Rice continued. And can you blame people? This woman’s name held the same power in fannish conversations as “Voldemort.” (A moniker by which I’ve actually heard her called.) She all but destroyed the old guard, on purpose.

….and then a new generation of fans happened. A new generation that didn’t remember life before AO3, had never known anyone who literally had to move house to get away from Rice’s minions’ threats and harassment. I know we use “nature is healing” as a joke on this website, but really truly, that’s what happened here. She left charred tree trunks and bushes that were old-school fans and from their ashes tiny little 2010s-fans seedlings began to grow.

The thousand-odd fics you saw in those screenshots (which I feel I should clarify are from before the new show came out—a show that must have her turning in her grave, because she was absolutely adamant that all her vampires were STRAIGHT and if you thought otherwise you were DISGUSTING, and I hope she spins so hard her corpse combusts) are absolutely shocking to us older fans because it’s like staggering out of a nuclear wasteland and spotting a little garden with signs saying “free nuclear-illness medical services” and realizing it’s real. What the fuck, what the fuck, but also, holy shit y’all we’re so proud of you. YES. Keep going. Don’t let the witch get you down.

EDIT: I’ve been informed by someone in the notes that IT ACTUALLY GETS WORSE:

I’m not going to transcribe the whole thing because I’m on mobile and most of it is just bog-standard post notes, but what’s relevant is @theoriginalvelocipastor saying “OP forgot the part where she [Anne Rice] would take ideas from fanfiction.”

Like holy motherFUCKER this woman’s hypocrisy.

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allwaswell16 · 2 months

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A fic rec of One Direction omegaverse fics where one of the characters is faking their secondary gender as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave the writers kudos and comments! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis / Harry -

🎀 pray for some sweet simplicity by delsicle / @eeveedel

(E, 237k, racing) an AU where motorcycle racing is the biggest sport in a heavily divided world, Louis is trying to take control of his own destiny, and Harry is in for more than he bargained for.

🎀 Take Me As I Am by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10

(E, 117k, friends to lovers) “Suppressant? But… why would I need a suppressant? Alphas don’t take suppressants.” “You’re right, they don’t.”

🎀 Face Your Fears by @sadaveniren

(E, 92k, famous/not famous) Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

🎀 i want you so much (but i hate your guts) by becauselarry

(M, 83k, football) AU in which Louis gets accepted to play for the Manchester University Alpha-Beta Football Team. The only problem: Louis is actually an Omega.

🎀 The Truth of Hearts by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings

(M, 42k, television writing) After rising through the ranks to become one of Hollywood’s most celebrated alpha writers, the world is Harry’s oyster. Louis, another rising star alpha, is Harry’s greatest undoing, in more ways than one.

🎀 Confessions of a Fabricated Alpha by @jaerie

(E, 18k, phone sex operator) famous alpha Harry Styles has a secret and paying an alpha to roleplay a relationship with him over the phone is the only way he can be himself.

🎀 Let's Embrace The Point Of No Return by sweaterpawstyles

(E, 33k, boss/employee) Harry is an omega intern at an all alpha company. Louis is his boss. There's some complications.

🎀 don't know if i could ever go without by ifthat / @lovehl

(E, 14k, pining) “We’ve come up with a solid solution. You’re not going to like it.” “What is it?” Louis narrows his eyes suspiciously, glancing at a visibly enthusiastic Liam. “What if you pretended to be an Alpha?” Zayn suggests.

🎀 Next To You by savannah_blue

(M, 14k, canon) When Harry Styles won the X-Factor he quickly became the latest pop sensation. When Louis runs into him at a party, he quickly realizes that Harry Styles is nothing like his reputation of womanizing alpha. Turns out, Harry Styles is an omega. And Louis' mate.

🎀 I Don't Mean to Frustrate by @lululawrence

(NR, 14k, friends to lovers) the one where Louis is an omega pretending to be a beta, but what happens when Harry, his (pining) alpha best friend, learns his secret?

🎀 Fakes (Streaming Live) by @allwaswell16

(E, 5k, camboys) Alpha camboy Henry Steel has a rather unfortunate crush on omega camboy Luscious Lucas. He also has a rather unfortunate secret that's about to be revealed.

- Rare Pairs -

🎀 Big White Lie by acrayonsmile

(E, 263k, pack dynamics) Louis has been pretending to be something he's not for as long as he can remember. Will the pack find out before it's too late to fix him?

🎀 How Could We Be So Blind? by WrennAddysen

(NR, 153k, OT5) Zayn, 1/5 of the boy band One Direction, is an omega, pretending to the world that he is a beta.

🎀 Like A Bullet In The Dark, by TylerM

(T, 27k, OT5) the one where Zayn, Harry and Louis are alphas in a pack with omega Niall, and Liam is a beta. Until he actually isn't and shit hits the fan.

🎀 a dark world aches for a splash of the sun by calums

(T, 18k, OT5) the 'beta!louis who is actually an omega' trope that everyone is craving

#ficrec #omegaverse #1dficvillage #trackinghappily #trackinghome #hltracks #1dsource #ficsfor4am #tracksintheam

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nalyra-dreaming · 2 months

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Pre season 2 rant - heavy on sarcasm!

This is the... well by now somewhat meditated on rant I promised a while ago. It has a lot of cussing, so be warned.

It is a… summary comment about some views I‘ve seen around, from “bad writing“ to the “abuse“ and other things. Oh, and it's about the "lying" subject. With receipts!

I‘m getting this out of my system before season 2 hits, and before more of the press leading up to it is released, because cast, crew and writers as well as the show have given us all of it already and, tbh, if I‘m going to see anyone scream “bad writing“ or “Louis being made a liar or the memories revisited/changed is racism“ when the changes will hit I‘m just gonna block you.

Fair warning.

This is long… so under the cut.

This show has made color-conscious choices. Brilliantly so. They also have an astonishing meta level.

And what we saw was not the truth.

That much is clear now. HAS ACTUALLY BEEN CLEAR FROM THE END OF SEASON 1 ON.

Jacob has said at the TCA panel that Louis is trying to regain his true memories.

Here is a reminder of some key statements by cast and crew:

Here are interviews and statements by Assad and Jacob and Sam and Rolin and the writers & producers that what we have seen was not the (whole) truth, that Louis’ tale has been “tinkered” with, influenced.

I'm heroically refraining from adding the gifs of Rolin and his statement again. Which are from the episode insider… and remember when that aired?! Yeah… 😒

But I've seen things recently that make me want to pull my hair out, to be frank. For example this, behind the link:

...Like, not making him a whole flat ass liar is actually the point, guys. And no it does not undermine the story....

As the writers said:

I mean, I get it to an extent. It's becoming clearer and clearer that the show some people made up in their heads is not the one they'll be getting. (We've been trying to tell them, but hey.)

Yeah.... That.

Unfortunately @blackgirlasis has blocked me, (and I have returned the favor now that I noticed), we only discussed something recently, but I think the reason might have been after I posted that video, in which it is literally said that "not everything Louis says is a lie", which, given her statements here might speak for itself, especially this part of that statement:

"It is actually ACTIVELY harmful to perpetuate the idea that the Black characters aren't to be trusted with the narrative and that we need Lestat to come through with the honest accounting."

You know, I would actually agree! Which is also why I always emphasized that we did not get the WHOLE truth. I also kept more than hinting at the fact that Armand is, well Armand.

BUT - and here it gets interesting - why is JACOB's - a BLACK man's - statement discarded? Why do they do not want to hear it that Louis does, in fact, lie? And, just to be clear - I do not NEED Louis to lie, nor be proven a liar, and I think the show will do its damndest to explain via the "tinkering" that Armand did. They will give some of the blame to Armand.

But to flip one's shit over argumentation that the MAIN CHARACTER, a BLACK MAN has already stated... that is what I find interesting.

Like, why do you* (*generally spoken, not her especially) accuse people of racism over this, when HE has already said that Louis does, indeed, lie. Why is he not actually listened to? I don't get that. Why is agency taken away from a living, breathing person to give it to a fictional character? Why is his statement that "not all representation needs to be healthy representation" not kept in mind?

Louis is Louis. Louis being color-consciously handled didn't "change the character an awful lot".

JACOB said that. Here. Interestingly enough in a comment about the racial consideration the show does(!).

Louis is NOT a whole other character despite the changes, and the twists that will happen in season 2 were always set to come, as the friggin' video of BEFORE the show aired is proof of. They talked about all that. They know it didn't all happen as shown. They knew Louis did lie. But NOT about everything.

They also knew that some of the scenes did not happen (at least as shown). And now... "it’s clear that Louis is somebody hugely angry with a man he loved deeply and now presents them as a monster…" Also Jacob Anderson.

Presents. Them. As. A. Monster.

Bailey Bass said in the SDCC interview, that it is not clear who is the "villain here" in various scenes, interestingly enough, because the dynamic keeps changing. Which of course was after they shot a myriad of scenes that would not make it into the final s1 cut. Again: why is she not listened to? Why do you take her agency away to give it to a fictional character?

And I'm not even starting on the others. Sam. Rolin. The writers.

Also, re the abuse and scenes being revisited. Again, screenshot as example:

There is nothing simple about this show. Especially that scene.

BUT the show knows what it‘s doing! I'm not going to rehash all that here now, here are links on that.

AND THE WRITERS SAYING IT WILL BE REVISITED... is from December 21, 2022.

DECEMBER 22.

A revisit and a change of that scene will not be bad writing. (Or tasteless.) They already DID so in the last episode of season 1, continuing that will simply fall into line with what we have already been given. That's not bad writing. That's just the show, and there's people who just did not want to examine that.

Because it will be echoed, and it will serve a purpose.

I know the show did the meta level of patriarchal domestic abuse, but for fuck‘s sake, the story itself is about vampires struggling, and Louis is struggling.

The show has a meta level of abuse, and patriarchy, and recognizing is valid and the meta discussions are too.

But Louis is not chained to his coffin guys, he could have left, and a fight which shows off power discrepancies within the show story line is not automatically domestic abuse.

*slow clap*

No-one wants this to happen for the sake of "redeeming" Lestat. Because he does not need that redemption. They're all murderers and monsters.

They kill. For a living. LITERALLY.

THEY ARE VAMPIRES It's not about vampires trying to find their humanity.

It's about vampires trying to find a way to live with themselves, because they are, indeed, monsters.

Doubting the narrative which was TORN APART WITHIN THE SHOW is not the same as bad writing or racism FFS, nor is actually looking at what we're given - and knowing the fucking, 50 year old books. And recognizing the hints and parallels.

I have also seen the take that Lestat isolated Louis... and like, did we watch the same show? You know, even with the vampirism (which, of course™, could not free Louis as promised)...

Months of flirting openly in NOLA, public wooing. DECADES LIVING IN NOLA. Operas. Restaurants. Family dinners. (And Louis stopping Lestat there, AS a mortal...) Cleaning the cribs, years of "human entanglement" because Louis wanted it.... Banjo barbecues, political influence, wakes... Everybody knew.

(Like, I could pull up gifs here.)

"Isolation". Right. It has nothing, at all, to do with the Rite of Passage, or Louis' depression.

Of course not.

I mean, Jacob says that Louis is very depressed during the time leading up to the fight, and his and Sam's discussion here is interesting as well, but hey, I mean, why listen to the actual black actor, right.

As a last thing.

Yeah. Tell me you know nothing about the books without telling me you know nothing about the books.

And, as a note, context is important if you pull up other scenes from the VC.

Welcome to the fucking Vampire Chronicles.

Anyone expecting big bad patriarchal abuser Lestat is not going to have a good time.

And honestly, to those: don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Good riddance - and BON VOYAGE

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margareth-lv · 3 months

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👙 Maternity shapewear tips 👙

To write what you find below, I was inspired by @auburncurlslass's post about Caitríona losing her breath during an interview in spring 2016.

(TV Guide Magazine & Starz Celebration of Outlander season two on 30 March 2016).

We are talking about THIS interview ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Firstly, you cannot help noticing that the normally thin, slender Caitriona has become considerably 'bloated'

[Even 'Just Jared' is still publishing this picture, I copied it this morning]

Well, if you have that kind of bloating from a 'period' or from 'overeating', you should see a doctor, shouldn't you?

❓

Secondly, it is impossible not to notice that Caitríona was not feeling well. She clearly fainted and only Sam responded.

*** *** ***

So the subject for today is:

Caitríona’s range of maternity & nursing underwear shapewear.

Bottomless topic. The first time I thought there might be something about Caitríona's motherhood was in the fight scene in the third series, after a furious Laoghaire had burst into Lallybroch.

What is that strange piece of underwear in the nude that is sticking out from under her shirt?

Caitríona never seemed to have a problem with 'not wearing a bra' under her 18th century shirt, so why this flesh-coloured lycra, so vividly reminiscent of the underwear I used when I was breastfeeding?

So many questions, so few answers.

💁🏻‍♀️

*** *** *** And what about the nude spanx panties for the LOUIS VUITTON dress at the premiere of Money Monster on 16 May 2016 during the 69th Cannes Film Festival, a month and a half after she fainted at the premiere of Outlander?

*** *** *** And these clasps that have clearly been moved to make the waist wider ⬇️⬇️⬇️

I wouldn't have noticed it myself, but doesn't a seam mark on smooth velvet always catch your eye if you know where to look?

[Season 3 premiere in New York City on September 05, 2017]

*** *** ***

Luckily, Caitríona doesn't have to change into Spanx maternity wear most of the time. Eighteenth century dresses hide any 'bloating'.

🤰🏻

Thanks again @auburncurlslass for the inspiration and the idea!

*** *** ***

PS. Please bear in mind that the pregnancy in season 6 was Caitríona's first ever. Before that she was just suffering from bloating and drinking too much beer or something.

[January 10, 2024]

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1d1195 · 10 months

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Traditional X

You can read the rest of Traditional here.

We are getting to the end of what I believe is the main storyline here. Maybe one or two more parts but I already have at least three little extras lined up in my head too.

Additionally, I added in the days because it was kind of getting all over the place and I wanted to make sure the timeline wasn't too confusing--especially since we're winding down on days until the internship is over. I hope it doesn't detract from the story. Also, another reminder I don't know anything about running a business.

This part has some minor character death/trauma mentioned, sensitive topics, grief, angst, and I may or may not have cried a bit while writing, so that should put it in perspective I think. Try not to hate me at the end I don't think you're going to like it. Thank you, thank you, thank you for continuing to read.

Just wanted to hear your voice, kitten. Didn’t get to see you much today other than tea. Get some sleep, of course. I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, love.

So now she texted him: I’m awake now if you want to hear my voice.

The phone rang almost instantly. “Hi,” she whispered.

“S’like music,” he said sleepily. She giggled. “That’s a symphony,” he murmured.

Friday

Louis and Eleanor were lying on her couch (and one another) while she lay on the rug in front of the coffee table, facing the TV. Her phone vibrated with a message from Harry.

Can we chat sometime today?

That sounds like a terrible way to break up with me. Don’t tell your other girls that.

Don’t be ridiculous, kitten. All of it.

I’ll call you when Louis and El leave.

I’ll be waiting impatiently.

“Must be Harry. She definitely doesn’t smile at Niall’s messages like that,” Louis chuckled.

She rolled her eyes and tilted her head back to her friends. They were watching a movie trying to decide where to eat or if they should order in. It was a regular, run of the mill day. They worked their Friday shifts and now they were lying about her pretty apartment that she hardly felt she’d been spending any time in. Mondays of course were still dinner out with Harry, Thursdays were movie nights at his place (and with any luck something a bit cheekier, now), and she spent many Saturday nights at his place sleeping beside him until one in the morning where they spoke quietly, candidly about anything. In the morning, she woke up to a rotation of pancakes, waffles, or French toast.

And kisses.

She woke up to a ton of kisses.

So, this Friday evening, she spent with Louis and Eleanor watching a movie that was so trashy it was wonderful. “How’s the job search?” Louis asked.

She frowned. The one sore spot that seemed to get sorer each passing day. “I really thought interning at Styles Incorporated was going to give me a leg up,” she sighed. “I don’t know... I’ve applied to some top places and they’ve either passed or ghosted me. Maybe I need to lower my standards.”

“Absolutely not,” Eleanor said immediately. “You deserve the top. You deserve it all,” she said.

Smiling, she looked at Eleanor, snuggled under Louis who was draped across her lap, and he winked at her. “You deserve the very best, babe,” he told her.

She shrugged and let out a sad sigh. “I don’t think these places think I do though,” she mumbled. “But it’s fine...I... I don’t know... I’ll figure it out. I’m not going to let it stop me now. Another month and I’ll be done.”

There was a pause. “Speaking of,” Louis began. “I’m told your program does in fact, have a graduation ceremony.”

She blinked surprised by the idea as if she didn’t already know. “What?”

“Harry told me that of course your college has one and you—”

She only vaguely heard the end of Louis’ sentence. She was feeling...anger? Anger at Harry? It didn’t seem like that was a reasonable conclusion. She had never been mad at him in the eight months she had known him. But her chest started to ache, and her blood felt hot, and she didn’t want to be mad at Harry, but she was sad he betrayed her trust in what she told him at one in the morning. Even if it was a silly little thing like making sure she had people at her graduation ceremony. She shook her head. “I’m not walking,” she interrupted. “I don’t want to.”

“Love, you worked so hard!” Eleanor gasped. “Please! It would mean so much to us to see you do it. We want you to have that.”

While the kindness and the meaningfulness of their words was not lost on her, she was serious in what she told Harry. But maybe she left out the part that she didn’t want to walk across the stage because it would remind her of the last graduation ceremony she attended. The last time she remembered a big happy family memory. “When did Harry tell you?” She asked quietly.

“He didn’t know for sure when it was...He was probing around, I think, because he might be trying to get you something,” Eleanor said so excitedly she was practically clapping. “Oh, I bet it’s going to be amazing whatever he gets you.”

“We weren’t that surprised, but we told him that you weren’t walking because there wasn’t a ceremony...and he told us there most assuredly was—which did surprise us. Most interns went in the past, so what’s the scoop on that, love?” Louis smirked, throwing a piece of popcorn at her. It caught in her hair. “Lying to your best friends?”

She didn’t feel like rehashing all the sad details and explaining why she didn’t want to go. “I just didn’t want it to be a big deal,” she shrugged as casually as she possibly could. She should have just told them, but she didn’t want it to be a thing.

However, Louis sensed there was more to her hiding it, immediately. It was why he was her best friend. But he didn’t press. Maybe he would later when he could get her alone. Every once in a while, he managed to pick up on something in her voice that said something of her past was coming through. “Hmm,” he hummed. “Well, that’s fine. We’d still like to go. A couple pictures and that’s it. Then dinner. Nothing else. I won’t even get you a card to commemorate the day.”

“Oh, I’m getting you a card,” Eleanor nodded fiercely. “Gonna write you the mushiest proud letter there is to write,” she smiled wrinkling her nose at her.

So, how could she say no to them? They loved her so wholly it really was unfair to exclude them after their endless support. Sighing, she shook her head. “It’s Saturday, the 14th,” she rolled her eyes. Both pulled out their phones and tapped rapidly putting it in their calendars.

“Good,” Louis smiled. “Now let’s go get dinner,” he said kissing Eleanor on his way off her lap and helping her up as he nearly ran for the door all in one movement. Eleanor rolled his eyes.

“You picked him,” she reminded El. “In high school too,” she shook her head and wrinkled her nose in distaste.

“I know, aren’t I lucky?” El said with a mocking dreamy tone in her voice but she meant it. It was obvious on her face, and she loved that about Eleanor most of all. Letting Louis be himself, unapologetically. Louis was the very best and she was glad someone else saw it too. Eleanor squeezed her arm and followed him. She took a second to take in the moment. She couldn’t help but smile so completely happy with her life for the first time in a very long while.

She woke up at some point in the night by herself on the comfiest mattress she ever owned all thanks to Harry. She peered through two of the slats on the blinds of her window to get a better estimate of the time without having to look at her phone in hopes of falling back asleep in a few moments. It was still pitch-black out, save for the moon illuminating the sky.

After tossing and turning for nearly five minutes without drifting off quickly, she decided she may as well make good use of her time. She grabbed for her phone. As expected, the clock told her that if they were sharing a bed, it was time to have her nightly chat with Harry.

When she came back from dinner and before she fell asleep this evening, she told Harry she was a bit tired. She would call, of course. But she might drift off while talking.

Just wanted to hear your voice, kitten. Didn’t get to see you much today other than tea. Get some sleep, of course. I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, love.

So now she texted him. I’m awake now if you want to hear my voice.

The phone rang almost instantly. “Hi,” she whispered.

“S’like music,” he said sleepily. She giggled. “That’s a symphony,” he murmured.

Her heart was bursting. “Yeah?”

“M-hmm.”

“Did I wake you?”

“Yes,” he said simply. She frowned. But it was like he knew she was frowning, because he continued, putting her mind at ease. “I would probably wake up from a coma t’hear your voice.”

She was so close to saying she loved him out loud. How could she not? But how would she be any different than any intern or companion before her? She was determined to wait until it was over. Until he stopped paying her and then she could at least tell him. So he knew and he could...decide if she was worth it. “Did you have a good day?” She whispered instead.

He yawned and she heard the rustling of his sheets. Sitting up against his fluffy pillows, she assumed. “S’alright,” it sounded as if he were shrugging it off. “I was in a crummy mood all morning.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she wished she went into his office earlier to see how she could have helped.

“Not something y’could have helped with, beautiful,” he had a smirk in his voice. It left her breathless that he could tell how she was feeling without seeing her. “Before y’worry.”

“Me? Worry?”

He chuckled that beautiful breathy laugh of his. She imagined his dimples, his glittering eyes. “Mmm...”

It was quiet for a moment and since he wanted to hear her talk, she thought she may as well get it out of the way. “So...” she sighed. “Louis and Eleanor found out about my graduation ceremony actually happening somehow...and they’re making me go.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, which told her he already knew that they had found out because of him. “I think y’should go, love.”

“I know. I’m going to.”

He sighed with relief. “That’s good.”

“If...” she swallowed awkwardly hating how she was even asking in the first place. “If you wanted to come...I think I get a ton of tickets...it is a Saturday so you wouldn’t miss wor—”

“Kitten, of course m’going t’be there,” he promised. “I’d sell m’company t’be there for you.”

She scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’d sell it t’Niall, maybe. But I’d still sell it.”

She giggled. “Do you think Niall would want to come, too?”

“Yes, absolutely. We wouldn’t miss it.”

She clutched the phone tighter to her ear enjoying the sound of Harry at the other end. The irritation she felt was only a nagging little bite on the inside of her head that she pushed away. Because really, this whole month had to be the most, and totally, happiest she had been in years.

Saturday/Sunday

“I blame myself for my brother’s death,” she said it softly. She didn’t even ask if he was awake. Either she somehow knew, or she wasn’t looking for him to answer. Harry frowned, trailing his fingers up and down her arm. It was a sudden comment, but it was the middle of the night. It was what they did.

“I don’t think that’s possible, kitten.”

“I went to some stupid school party. I didn’t want to get in the car with the person offering a ride home. So, he came to pick me up, no questions asked. Not a care in the world that it was almost two in the morning,” she shrugged against him. “A car hit us,” she said simply. It was silent for a minute. Harry hardly moved. “He must have seen it coming before I did... because he turned...so his side of the car took the brunt of the hit.” He squeezed her. “I tried to pull him out. Begged him to breathe,” she shook her head. “It was awful,” her voice cracked. Harry couldn’t imagine what she had seen. Couldn’t imagine what it took for her to get in the car. No wonder she walked everywhere.

“Y’don’t have t’tell me, love,” he told her, and he meant it. That was plenty. He could fill in the gaps if it meant she didn’t have to relive it again. He was sure she relived it every day.

“It’s why my parents hate me.”

Harry sucked his lip into his mouth. “They shouldn’t,” he fully believed that. He may not have judged them for the way they grieved but they lost one child in that accident. It easily could have been two and yet somehow, they chose to lose them both even though she was right there, alive and in need of love more than ever.

Harry wouldn’t say it to her now, but he would think part of his heart would feel like it was missing if she had been lost all those years ago. Whether he knew her or not.

“Sometimes I think they’re right to,” she sniffled. “I’d hate me, too. He was the best,” she whispered shakily.

“Kitten.”

He loved the dark and their little chats every day since they started. Today, he hated it. It was too revealing. This was hurting her. And he hated that most. “I should have died.”

“Thank God, you didn’t.”

“It’s not fair,” she whispered. How many times had she said it to herself, her therapist, to Louis of all people? The only person who consoled her and not her parents...the only person who needed to be consoled as much as her was Louis. As he was breaking down, he was trying to keep her together. It wasn’t fair at all.

“No,” Harry shook his head. “It’s not.”

“I miss him.”

“I know.”

More silence. “I told you the dark is revealing.”

He smirked sadly. He wished he could tell her something just as revealing. But telling her he loved her so wholly when they weren’t in a relationship, not an actual one, after she was grieving for a moment in time, didn’t seem right. Harry wanted to tell her it was easy. Easy to love her. It was effortless having her in his life. He wanted to reveal something of equal weight. If only so she wouldn’t be sad. “I like getting t’know you,” he said instead.

“Even though I’m the reason someone died?”

He shook his head and gave her a reassuring squeeze. “Someone else made a dumb decision, love. Of course, your brother would come t’help you. I’d do the same for Gem,” he promised. “S’in the brother handbook.”

“Louis said the same thing...he has a bunch of younger sisters...and me.”

“Louis would still do it for you, too; I’m sure.” They were silent again. He thought she fell asleep. Sometimes she would do that. So, he asked the question that had been burning in his mind forever. “I don’t want t’pry...What happened with your parents...after that?”

She shook her head. “Maybe another middle of the night talk. Not this one,” she mumbled.

He nodded. “Yeah, of course, love.”

“Thank you for...everything Harry. Really,” she yawned and nuzzled closer to his chest.

“Course, love,” he repeated and let her fall asleep beside him peacefully.

Wednesday

There was yelling from the other side of the door as she knocked, then immediately entered his office with tea. Right as she opened the door, he slammed the phone down to his desk. Then picked it back up and slammed it three more times into the receiver. She blinked and cringed with each hit. He slid a hand over his face and turned to face the window. Part of her thought he didn’t register she was in the room.

“Harry,” she said softly.

He shook his head. “Love, please jus’ leave the tea and go,” he grumbled. “M’gonna snap and I don’t want it t’be at you,” he sounded infuriated. Interns never seemed to work out because of his anger... She knew Niall worked hard to keep her away from Harry’s outbursts. Mostly because Niall knew Harry would never forgive himself if he ever broke her heart or scared her because of his job. But she still knew the stories. The whispers in the breakroom and by the copier about his anger weren’t something she could ignore. Sometimes Harry’s angry tone filled the whole floor. She bit her lip at his warning and nodded silently.

After she set the tea on his desk, she sat on the couch across the room. She sipped at her drink watching him tap on his phone screen searching for something. He turned back around after a moment looking at his computer and then she saw his eyes flicker over to her. “I know I told you t’leave,” his voice was icy. But she saw his gaze soften just a hair.

She didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to set him off or make him any angrier than he already was. She was content to sit there...just wanted to wait there in case he needed her because that’s what she did. Even if he was going to pretend that she wasn’t there.

His phone was ringing from the other end while he called someone. “I need the file we looked at this morning...” A pause and she watched him clench his fist and he squeezed his eyes shut angrily. “Well, I don’t have it!” he snapped slamming his fist on the desk. “If I had it, I wouldn’t have called! Can’t you just do what I fucking ask and bring—"

She hurried to his computer after he slammed his fist down. Not caring even a little, when he hardly moved out of her way and continued yelling at the poor person at the other end of the line. The words he snarled into the phone didn’t reach her ears. With three clicks and a few taps it was on his screen. She stepped out of his way and sat back on the couch waiting for the next mini blowup. He put his phone down again as his eyes scanned the screen. He grumbled about something unintelligible under his breath and he tapped on his phone screen again and brought it to his ear for all of five seconds.

“Come here,” he said into his phone.

Within moments, Niall was there. He frowned seeing Harry’s anger but managed a quick wink at the sweet girl sitting quietly on the couch. She sipped her coffee while Niall went behind Harry’s desk. He looked at the screen for a few moments and she saw his face falter a bit; he rubbed his hand on the back of his head. “Well, we knew this was coming.”

Harry turned away and paced to the other end of the room. Hands on the back of his head. Niall scrolled on his screen and sighed. He glanced at her. She hadn’t taken her eyes off the pair of them since Niall stood next to Harry. “C’mere,” he said to her. She hurried back over. He pointed to several itemized lines and murmured a few things that she only had a vague understanding of due to her limited understanding of things that happened here at Styles Incorporated solely because in the grand scheme of things, she hadn’t been there that long, and she was just an intern.

She looked at the numbers, pursed her lips in concentration and did her best to calculate quickly. “Can you shrink this number?” She asked, pointing at the screen.

He glanced at Harry who looked ready to jump out the window. His head pressed to the glass taking deep, angry breaths. “No, darling.”

“How about this one?” She pointed to a different cell. He shook his head again. She looked over at Harry who was clearly distraught. Sighing, she thought for a few quiet breaths and Niall frowned as he scrolled. She thought back to all her classes, every lecture, and every assignment she had ever worked on. Unfortunately, she came to only one conclusion.

“You can have them file for bankruptcy,” she shrugged.

Niall pushed her behind him as soon as the beginning of that b-word left her mouth. Harry hated that word. At the same time, Harry spun rapidly, took three long strides, and menacingly glared through Niall in her direction. “Are you fucking serious?” He hissed but he was staring so angrily at Niall, but the expression was really meant for her. She gulped audibly. This had to have been the nightmarish things that previous interns spoke about. It made her stomach churn and she thought she might throw up. God bless Niall for standing in her way—she knew Harry wouldn’t resort to physical violence. Not even a little. She felt it in her soul. But part of her wondered if it would hurt less than his cutting, angry voice.

No wonder Niall never let her be around Harry when he was mad. This was terrifying.

“Harry—” Niall started.

She blinked in surprise at how angry he got. At her. But he did warn her. Her heart felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest. “I am not having them file,” he growled.

Her face definitely turned red, and she swallowed nervously. “It’s your only option,” she whispered standing her ground anyway. He flung the cordless keyboard across the room. It smashed into the wall and many of the keys fluttered off in a heap against the wall. She flinched at the sound as he paced back to that side of the room.

“Darling, kindly shut it,” Niall whispered over his shoulder.

Harry paced and paced. Niall was still standing in front of her protectively as Harry grumbled to himself trying to make sense of it. “Why?” He practically barked at her. “Why’s it my only option?”

She took a deep breath. “The legal fees would equate to more than the bankruptcy payback.” He stopped pacing and turned to look at her. Niall even turned around and stared at her in surprise. “What?” She felt like this was a worse thing to say than bankruptcy. Niall stepped from in front of her and used the mouse to click through different screens on the computer, it took a moment because he no longer had a keyboard. He glanced at Harry and nodded.

Harry took a deep breath. “Can y’please explain that for me, love?” His voice was still tight with anger but at least he wasn’t barking at her or throwing things.

So, she did her best to explain that she remembered this once case she studied in her quantitative decision-making class. How it was expensive but kept the company afloat to file for a chapter of bankruptcy that allowed them to pay back the debt and keep going on if they could make it a few years. “She’s right...” Niall said clicking on the computer and gesturing to the screen. “Obviously,” he muttered under her breath.

Harry looked at the screen. While they did, she did some calculations on her phone. “So, they keep their assets?” He asked, looking up at her from the screen while Niall searched something on his phone to show Harry.

She nodded. “As long as they make this much,” she said and held her phone up to the two men.

Niall smirked. “I like her,” he said knowingly.

Harry sighed, still embittered. “Can you go buy me a new keyboard, love?” He asked.

Feeling like she had finally made a difference and helped a bit, she grabbed her coffee and nodded. “Sure,” she said softly.

“Don’t spend your own money on it either,” Harry said knowingly without looking up at her. She smirked to herself and left his office before she could say any more wrong things.

Since it was a Wednesday, she hadn’t seen Harry outside the office for two days. After getting the new keyboard and plugging it in, Harry was swamped for the remainder of the day. Lawyers, Niall, and others kept filing in and out of his office. At five in the evening, when most everyone was leaving, they were still coming and going. Niall hadn’t seen her in hours while she sat at her desk sending him files, answering calls, and taking messages. She knocked on the door before entering, carrying five or so pizzas and an assortment of drinks. Niall was the only one who noticed.

He winked at her, mouthed thank you, and watched as she left.

It was another hour before Harry noticed he was eating pizza...with pineapple on the slice. “Who got this?” He muttered.

“That cute intern of Niall’s,” one of the lawyers said.

“That’s your intern Niall? I’d be begging for her to alleviate the stress—”

“I wouldn’t finish that sentence if I were you,” Niall said calmly. Harry was glad he had a bite of pizza in his mouth and Niall interrupted that sentence before it finished. After the day Harry had he wasn’t sure he had much self-control left to not physically attack someone—especially on behalf of her.

How did he not notice the sweet girl bringing pizza? He was certain even if the room was on fire, he would still take the time to notice her. He frowned. He had no idea she did this.

“I think this is enough for tonight, Mr. Styles,” someone said after hours of being there. Harry hadn’t looked at the time in ages. Since before lunch at least. He was only vaguely aware that it was after one at some point only because she brought his daily tea. He nodded silently, still upset about the day but also that he had no idea the perfect girl was there.

“You screamed at her, y’know,” Niall said condensing the pizza boxes. Placing the empty ones by the trashcan for the maintainers to take care of. After everyone left. Harry was helping clean up as well and packing his things.

Harry tended to get a little fuzzy on his consciousness when he was mad. “I told her to leave.”

“You’re stupid for thinking she would,” he rolled his eyes. “She’s quite brilliant,” Niall said knowingly. “When are you going to offer her a job?”

“It’s complicated,” he remarked. “I think if I create a job for her, people...will get suspicious.”

“Who cares?”

Harry worked extremely hard to get Styles Incorporated where it was so quickly. You didn’t become a thirty under thirty member without working hard. In all that time, Harry made every decision he could to the best of his ability. He always wondered if he made mistakes. He loved this company. It was his pride and joy.

The idea of losing pieces of it broke his heart. Since it happened twice within the last three months, and she managed to save both those pieces from falling to the wayside...

She seemed to know how much he loved his job, his legacy. He didn’t like her idea all that much today, even if it was good or his only option. Even when he yelled at her and snarled like she wasn’t the most special person he knew. She still voiced her opinion, and he knew that had to have been hard for her.

It hurt him to think of failing in even one little branch. But he couldn’t argue with her that it was the best option he had for this moment. “This was a brilliant idea,” one of the lawyers said as they typed furiously on their laptop. It was hours after the lovely girl left the new keyboard on his desk. Harry didn’t respond with anything but one little nod. “We should keep this in mind...would have saved you some money a few years ago,” she remarked with a gentle smile.

Niall saying “who cares” suddenly sparked something in him. Why did he care? She was brilliant. He didn’t have to convince anyone of that. It was obvious when she walked into any room, took a passing glance at whatever document they were discussing, any graph they were looking at and she casually pointed out inconsistencies and almost always managed to save him money.

“Have the other interns been like her?” He asked quietly. He had been so closed off, so worried about the reasons they were truly there... The thought of that horrible woman who made comments to the sweet girl about sleeping with him... Harry would feel terrible if he was so cynical about the entire intern process if a quarter of them were as smart as her.

Niall smiled at his best friend. The relief flooded him before Niall even spoke. “Harry, I don’t think there’s anyone like her.”

The knock on her door surprised her. She thought it might be Louis or Eleanor who couldn’t be bothered to walk the last five blocks back to their place after a late-night dinner. It was nearing ten and she was snuggled up on the couch with her book and music playing on the TV.

Harry was leaning against the opposite wall as she opened the door. “Oh, hi,” she said softly.

Harry stayed where he was, and he smiled at her, tiredly. “You’re so cute,” he mumbled.

She glanced down at her pajamas. A mismatching pair of shorts and a tank top. One sock on because only the left one was cold. Harry looked tired but beautiful as ever. His button-down sleeves rolled up to his elbows, tucked into his dress pants. The tie he had been wearing all day was gone, the button at his neck undone. His hair looked as if he ran his hand through it a few too many times but his tiredness seemed most evident on his face.

“Come in,” she said opening the door wider. “Do you need something to eat or drink?” She asked.

“No... had the pizza y’got us,” he murmured finding his way to the couch, he folded the corner of the page where she was reading and set the book on the coffee table. He waited for her to sit beside him and once she did, his head was in her lap. “M’sorry I screamed at you. Y’didn’t deserve that.”

“I knew you didn’t mean it,” she threaded her fingers through his hair and lightly rubbed at his scalp. “Is it all taken care of?”

“Thanks t’you,” he mumbled. She smiled softly, grateful she could ease his anger and allow him to sleep. She didn’t say anything for a bit and soon enough he was asleep in her lap. She reached for her book and read for the better part of an hour while he snored gently into her leg.

When an hour had passed, she gently pulled herself out from his head and began undressing him down to his boxers. It took effort but once he was mostly naked, she tugged him off the couch holding him up as much as she could with his tall frame to drop him into her bed. She curled up to him, grateful for the extra night with him. The first one at her place, at that.

The moon was bright even through the closed blinds, making his skin practically glow as she faced his sleeping figure. His arm beneath her pillow outstretched so she fit neatly beneath his chin if she was close enough. Their legs twisted together, his much longer than hers.

She was quiet for a bit, tracing the sparrows tattooed just below his collarbones. “They stopped talking to me,” she whispered. It wasn’t quite the standard middle of the night, but it was pressing on her mind because it was rapidly approaching the seven-year anniversary of that horrible day and it hurt so freshly, so sharply. Like it was only a week ago. She wasn’t sure Harry was even awake, but she said it anyway...maybe it was better he didn’t hear anyway. “Except for when they had too much to drink. Then they just yelled and yelled. At each other, at me...” she swallowed the pain down. “If I didn’t go out, he wouldn’t have gone to get me. We would still be a family...he was their prince,” she explained.

Her fingers drifted over his arm that rested gently with his hand at her hip. She traced the heart tattoo, the rose, and then the anchor at his wrist. “They stopped caring about me, but I couldn’t stop caring about them. I made dinner for them even if they didn’t always eat. If they did, they complained about it. I stopped eating with them. We didn’t watch movies together on Sunday evenings. We didn’t celebrate Christmas. Part of me thinks they only kept me there because they knew deep down, I was still a minor and they had to—I could ruin their lives worse by reporting them...” she bit her lip. “I don’t even think I would do that... At some point... they were the only people that ever took care of me... but then they just stopped and honestly, I don’t blame them.”

Harry didn’t make any note that he could hear but she kept going anyway. “So, I started taking care of everyone I crossed paths with...” she paused for a moment just to see if anything registered on Harry’s mind. It didn’t seem like it. But it made it easier for her to tell the story.

“When I turned 18, I invited Louis over to help me. I didn’t say with what. But the second he saw my parents...the ones that didn’t love me anymore... Louis moved me into his place... I felt so horrible, but I actually asked him to stay there just until... until I left for university at the end of the summer. He looked... betrayed. Like I let him down... He gave me the lecture of the century and Eleanor just braided my hair while he did. They made my favorite food. Neither of them said Happy Birthday once and I didn’t even care because for even just one day someone was taking care of me again,” she had done well up to this point not crying.

She sniffled and shook her head. She reached up and outlined Harry’s eyebrows, the shape of his nose. The curve of his lips and the jawline that ached her to the core. “Louis doesn’t talk about it, but I know he saw more than I ever wanted him to. I know he resents the way I hid. I think part of him wished I still lived with him. He insisted I stay the summers I came home from university,” she told the sleeping figure.

“But I got a boyfriend part way through university. We moved in quickly. Of course, I took care of him... and I didn’t mind. I liked it. He liked it. He was easy... food, sex, cleaning...” she mumbled. “But I still went to visit my parents because I couldn’t help it. I’ve never told Louis that. I didn’t tell my therapist that either...I’m sure she would be mad. And you know, I still go twice a month without telling anyone. Well, except you now... I don’t know why... I don’t know... I couldn’t leave them...they...they have to be in there still, right? The people that threw me princess birthday parties and put Band-Aids on my knees after a fall on my bike? Even after...after all of it...they’re my parents somewhere in there. Every time I go it’s just...yelling and hating me. I clean, make sure there’s food in the fridge, and then I leave,” Harry didn’t answer her. “I was supposed to stay the night at a hotel because I was supposed to move some of the last of my things...but it was a bad day. I just wanted to go home... I guess I got the sex part right with him,” she said with a smirk but without humor in her voice. “Just...not with me. Guess I didn’t do a good job there either,” she sighed sadly. “So... There it is. They just...acted as if I died too.”

Harry didn’t move a muscle. She smiled softly and kissed his cheek. “I think that’s everything,” she whispered. “I think you know everything now,” she told him. “Good night, baby,” she whispered tucking herself against his chest.

There was no movement for at least a full minute and then his arms came around her so tightly, he squeezed her like he was trying to press all the broken pieces back together. “You’re so lovely,” he murmured. “Don’t forget that,” he pressed his lips to her temple and she closed her eyes tight trying to keep the tears from spilling over like a waterfall. “S’great t’know you,” he squeezed her again. “S’an honor t’know y’care ‘bout me,” he mumbled to her.

She nodded her head in recognition that she had heard him but if she spoke, she would either cry or, worse, tell him she loved him. So, she sighed deeply against his chest and slowly fell asleep while he pressed another kiss to her forehead. Like he was trying to heal her from the outside in just by kissing the front of her tired, sad brain.

Part of her thought that with Harry it might work.

Next Wednesday

Harry was going to lose his mind. When he started the day, he was so excited that he finally had good news for the sweet girl and was excited about their future. He couldn’t wait to surprise her during their movie night the following day, at home snuggled on the comfy couch.

Instead, he was totally blindsided by the fourth of the same type of phone call of that same day.

The call started out the same as all the other ones he’d been getting. They introduced themselves. “Aye, Harry. Zayn. How are you?”

Harry blinked in surprise at the voice at the other end. Zayn was CEO of his own company, located a few towns over called Malik Industries. Rarely did they interact with one another because their clientele was very different. But every so often at big black-tie shin digs and philanthropic events they’d run into one another. In this business, it was all about networking. He was hoping he wouldn’t get this call only because Zayn was closest to his age... which was closer to her age... “Right, good. Yourself?”

“Great. Listen, I’ll make this quick, I know you’re a busy guy. I have an application in front of me and it lists you and Niall as references, and I’m used to seeing Niall’s name... but I had to ask you. You never give your name as a reference.” His heart stopped because he could only guess who the application belonged to.

She applied here too?

“Harry?” He asked. “Did I lose you?”

“Uh...” he shook his head trying to regain his composure. He was absolutely confused. She didn’t say anything about applying to any of these places and this was the fourth phone call he had to sit through with an aching heart. “No, sorry. Untimely email,” he muttered quickly. He wasn’t even facing his computer.

“Right, I understand. I’ll keep it short... you think she would be good here?”

His breath caught in his throat. She would be good anywhere. But the idea of not seeing her smiling face each afternoon carrying tea in her hands to his office (not that she would continue to have to do that if she worked here full time) was the last thing Harry wanted. “Uh...yeah, she...she would be great.”

There was a pause and a short chuckle. “I know you don’t usually do these reference calls, but there’s usually a bit more than that.”

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat trying to get the words to spill out. How could he tell her she was perfect? How could he just give her away? He wanted her there all the time in every facet of his life. She made everything better. “I know, I know,” Harry shook his head again in an attempt to get his verbal processing to work again. “She’s perfect. She can do anything. Fit in anywhere. If she doesn’t know how t’do something, she’ll figure it out. Brilliant. Truly. It’s cutthroat out there and she still manages t’be an angel. Doesn’t even bat an eye in the face of adversity. She’ll keep morale up by decorating for holidays and she makes the best chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever had.”

“See that’s what—”

“You can’t have her,” Harry interrupted flatly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought she applied because there—”

“Yes. No. I’m sorry,” he shook his head. “She did apply. She would be perfect. You can’t question that. Seriously. Y’would probably hand her the keys t’your office if she joined y’in any capacity. I want t’do that somedays...but I want t’keep her here.”

“I see,” Zayn sounded agreeable. “She sounds quite special. Her recommendations, her transcript, everything is incredible. She seems like a wonderful asset Harry. Are you sure you have room for her?”

He prickled at the notion that he wouldn’t make room for her. “Yes,” he said definitively.

“Alright. Well, good for you. I hope she’s happy there. I’ll take her application any time in the future if you see a reason she needs to go elsewhere.”

Harry didn’t see it happening ever. “Sorry t’disappoint.”

“Not a problem at all. You know a good one when you see them, I get it. Have a good one,” the call ended abruptly. As if on cue, she knocked and opened his door at quarter past the hour. Clockwork. She closed the door quickly.

“Hi baby,” she winked as she whispered the pet name at him. “Brought your tea. And I got us some cake pops. I think they’re yummy. Maybe we could try to make them from scratch this weekend.”

There is no way she could just go. His heart fluttered at her words, and he smiled. He felt the ache in his chest melting away as it always did when she was around while he was upset. “Whatever you want, kitten.”

Harry didn’t tell her about the good news during movie night. He was too upset about all the phone calls.

He didn’t tell her while they were making cake Pops on that Saturday either.

When she chose to just exist that weekend a couple months ago, and not remember anything that happened over her horrible couple of days and not think about her parents, she did catch up with Louis and Eleanor that following Tuesday. Harry watched from her kitchen as the pair of them cooed over her and she let some tears fall.

“Your mum’s not having a memorial,” Eleanor told her. So that was that. It was over.

“Oh,” she said like it was a surprise.

Louis glanced at Eleanor and pursed his lips. She combed her hair back and gave her another hug while Louis pressed his hand to her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Louis glanced at Harry and shrugged. Harry thought that meant her mum wasn’t having a memorial that she could attend. It hardened Harry’s heart while he set some mugs of tea on her counter out for the three of them.

The lawyers managed to get some information about her inheritance. The house was already in a trust under her name. “Harry, we’re grasping a bit at straws here. We don’t practice family law,” he reminded him during their next movie night.

“I know, I know. M’sorry,” he said rubbing the back of his neck while he watched from the kitchen as the girl swayed quietly on the porch swing. At the end of February, she was still insistent on sitting in the freezing cold. “I jus’ want t’make sure she’s taken care of.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t think this woman cares,” he said bluntly.

Harry frowned and ended the phone call before heading to the swing with mugs of hot chocolate. She lifted the blanket, a beanie hat almost falling into her eyes as he slid in beside her. She rested her head on his shoulder and for the moment Harry just let her live knowing that as long as she stayed here, she was cared for.

Which is why he was so happy when the lawyers finally informed him that she would have the house... eventually. The life insurance policy was never changed out of her name, and it wasn’t like they could change it now. All of it was something that could ease the ache of the worry she had.

Harry attended the memorial service, too, a week or so after that. He told her and Niall he was attending to business out of town. Niall looked at him suspiciously and he felt bad lying to the sweet girl but he...he wanted to...well he didn’t even know what he wanted. He just wanted to know what her parents were like. There were many people there. He was surprised that they still had friends after cutting off their sweet daughter. But Harry was trying his best not to judge their mourning.

He saw Louis and Eleanor there gently consoling her mother without it truly reaching their eyes. Louis saw Harry at the edge of the mourners at the cemetery, he gave him a succinct nod and then tilted his head discreetly to the right.

When everyone left, he headed to where Louis gestured, totally alone.

He read the dates on the stone, did the math, and he sighed. “I’ll do anything for her,” he knelt and pulled some weeds away from the flowers laid there. Quietly to her brother’s grave, he whispered “I promise.”

Monday

Now seemed like it was too late to tell her anything about the good news. She had seemed off all evening. Maybe it was the stress of graduation and her internship. The office had been so busy lately they hardly had a moment to have tea in the afternoon.

It was his own fault, however. When all said and done.

Now, he was walking her home from dinner. Well, actually, he was nearly running after her. She refused to get in the car. Despite how late it was. So, Harry followed her on foot. She was fast, even in the little heels she wore. The driver was close behind on their trail as well.

“I didn’t ask for you to do that!” She snapped at him. She never snapped at him. Not once. And there were plenty of times she could have over the last eight and a half months. But he thought he was being helpful. Figuring out the stuff with her mum, finding a way to finally split Niall’s position. All of it.

He thought things were going so well and even with the end of her internship coming up at the end of the next month, he was so hopeful for their future in so many ways. He didn’t really know what went wrong. He kept the conversation light trying to figure out her slightly soured mood. It didn’t seem completely fair, but he was heartbroken that he made her upset.

But it was the email that was the final straw. She received it in the middle of dinner. Mr. Malik stated there must have been miscommunication as she would be staying with Styles Incorporated. He would love to have her, feel free to apply in the future if so needed, but of course, she should stay where she’s comfortable.

Harry was in mid-conversation with the waiter, ordering dessert. Something she was reallylooking forward to when she read through the email. But the second she finished it she was angry and didn’t want dessert. She called Niall quickly, while Harry was still chatting, holding one finger up as she put her phone to her ear.

He winked at her, continuing his conversation and didn’t mind at all whether she was using her phone nor questioning it. He’d done so many times before and she was always so kind and patient about it. If he did question it, so shortly after the email, maybe he would have seen it coming. But he didn’t...he didn’t see it coming at all. “Did you...talk to Mr. Malik?” She asked him when Niall answered.

“No, darling, I haven’t heard from him or...or anyone yet about your applic—”

“Never mind,” she hung up. The second she uttered the name of another company Harry’s voice died in the conversation he was having, and he directed his attention to her.

“Did you?” She asked, point blank.

“Yes,” he said. “I told him you would be a perfect fit.”

She blinked. “Then why does he think I’m staying at Styles Incorporated?”

Harry frowned. “Don’t you want to?”

She wasn’t going to lie. “I mean...yes...but don’t you think you should have told me you were going to hire me before—”

“I just figured—"

“Harry...I’ve been rejected or ghosted from everywhere I applied to. I’ve been crying to Niall so stressed and anxious that I’m not good enough and—have you been telling everyone in the area?”

“You’ve been crying about—?”

“Harry,” she snapped.

He was surprised by her tone. “Of course...I want t’keep you,” he whispered.

“Well, what if I can’t,” her voice cracked, her hand fiddling with her silverware on the plate.

“What are y’talking about? Of course, y’can,” he said quickly reaching across the table for her hand but she pulled it back. “Kitten.”

“I don’t want dessert,” she said and stood up and marched out of the restaurant. He hurried to throw money on the table and follow after her.

When they made it to her apartment building, she was huffing. She was angry the entire way there not listening to Harry call after her, not stopping even though he begged. Harry felt like he was losing her with every step. When they reached her door, he tried again to console her as best he could. “Love, I just wanted to hel—”

“I know you feel entitled to everything I am and do because of what we are, but I didn’t ask you to do any of that! Stay out of my business.”

“Kitten,” Harry felt crushed, like she stole all the air out of her lungs.

“I know you told Louis and Eleanor about my graduation ceremony, and I let it slide... because part of me is hoping they forget that it’s in two weeks because right now, I don’t want to go. It hurts to think about my brother’s ceremony—the last time we were a family. And I know you had your lawyers talking to my mom because she called me today all up and arms about how I’m selfish to even take what she’s giving me and of course I hadn’t a clue what she was talking about. I thought it was a prank,” Harry was silent as he listened. “I know you have your driver follow me around whenever I’m out walking. Not even at night,” still quiet. But he dropped his gaze to the floor for a moment before looking back up at her. It did sound controlling when she was so angry. “On top of all that, I hadn’t gotten any notice about my student loans so I called my servicer to inquire. And guess what?”

Harry’s lips pressed together. He didn’t say a word. Because of course he already knew why she didn’t get any info about her loans. “Now this? Harry, I’ve worked my butt off to do this on my own and you just...told every company within a twenty-mile radius that I’m staying, and I didn’t even get to know that I could do it on my own? That all my hard work and all those hard things I had to face on my own just meant nothing? I thought I failed so miserably.” She was crying so hard, and she wished she wasn’t but every time she felt anger coursing through her it was an unfortunate consequence. Harry just wanted to console her and make it stop. He felt so terrible.

Every day she showed up to work and made everyone’s life so much easier. She baked brownies for the breakroom, made copies for anyone that asked because she was the only one who could stop it from jamming, and of course she went out every day, snow, sleet, hail, or rain to get himself and Niall their Starbucks order. She took care of him when he was sick and saved such a large chunk of his company, he could never repay her. All he wanted to do was help her the way she helped everyone else.

“Love,” he whispered reaching for her. She stepped out of his way.

“Just go,” she snapped as she slammed the door shut in his face. His heart felt broken, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. Because as always, she was right. He just...did everything for her because he could. Really because he wanted to, but he should have at least asked.

He could hear the sniffles and her tears through the door. He waited a minute listening to her gasping breath hoping something in his head would click. Something would appear in his mind that he could say to her. But in times like this, it was usually her that knew what to do. So of course, he couldn’t ask her. As he turned to leave, he heard her croaked voice whispering Louis’ name into the phone.

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