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krirebr · 3 months

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I Can't Sleep, Cause My Bed's On Fire

Pairing: Dark!Ransom Drysdale x Dark!Female Reader x Dark!Steve Rogers, established Ransom Drysdale x f!reader, past Ransom Drysdale x Steve Rogers

Word Count: ~3.3k

Summary: In Germany, you and Ransom run into someone from his past. Part of the Psycho Killer AU

Warnings: Horror elements, feeding off people, references to mind control, explicit language, group sex (mmf), light degradation, a little past (and present) heartache, a lot of smut- All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Divider by @saradika-graphics

Masterlist

A/N: Ahahahaha! Oh god, what have I done????

A HUGE thanks, as always, to @paperweight91 who let me flail all over her about this idea and read so, so much of it and talked me through the panic attack I always have when it's time to write smut.

Please come screech with me about this Steve. I'm so obsessed with him.

Ransom led you through the crowd by your hand. You lagged behind him as you tried to take in everything around you. People were dancing in cages, their eyes glossed over. There were humans laid out on tables as vampires fed on them. You saw no fewer than five couples fucking. This place was a wonderland.

While you were still in France, Ransom had heard rumors of a vampires-only club in Germany, so now, after chasing down leads, you were in Berlin. You hadn’t known what to expect from Valkyrie, but this was more than you could have dreamed. No one was hiding here, pretending to be human, pretending to be weak. Here things were in their natural order. Here, even after only a few minutes, you really felt at the top of the food chain. Your fangs dropped in excitement and you let them stay. You were with your people now.

Ransom took you to the bar, pulling you in front of him and resting his chin on your shoulder. “What do you have on tap?” he yelled above the din to one of the bartenders. They placed a narrow menu in front of you, then moved on to help someone else. You looked at the selection of blood, all different types, ages, and diets. Your eyes wandered down to the bottom of the menu. “Hey,” you said over your shoulder to Ransom, “what do you think the Captain’s Special is?”

He went completely still. “What’d you say?” he asked, deadly serious. Without waiting for an answer he sniffed deeply. “Oh shit. We have to get out of here. Right fucking now,” he said as he started pulling you away.

You stood your ground. “What? Ran, no! I wanna st–”

A chuckle over his shoulder interrupted you. “Of all the gin joints in all the world, huh, Ransom?”

He turned around very slowly to face an impossibly broad man, an inch or two taller than him with golden blonde hair and boy next door good looks. This new man looked about ten years younger than Ransom, but you knew better than to take that at face value. He reeked of power and experience.

“Steve,” Ransom said, cooly. “I thought you were still in Brooklyn.”

Steve shook his head, grinning. “Not for a few decades. It was time for a change.” He gave Ransom an obvious once-over. “You look good.”

Ransom scowled. “Where’s Bucky?”

Steve laughed and shrugged. “No idea. You know how Buck is.”

“I don’t actually.” Ransom said, and you weren’t sure you’d ever heard his voice be so cold. “I only met him at the end there.”

The grin didn’t leave Steve’s face. “Come on, you aren’t still upset about all that? You knew the score going in, Pup.”

“There were lots of things I didn’t know going in, Steve.”

Steve sighed. “You always were so stubborn,” he said, reaching a hand out to stroke Ransom’s cheek, and Ransom, right in front of your eyes, fucking leaned into it.

Without realizing it, a growl built up in your throat. Steve’s eyes cut to you for the first time. “Oh! And who’s this pretty little thing?”

At that, Ransom seemed to come back to himself. “None of your fucking business.”

Steve wasn’t deterred. His eyes bore into you. You’d never been looked at like that before. It was like he was looking inside you. You felt like he could see everything you’d ever done, everything you’d ever thought. It made you want to cower, but it also pulled you to him.

“Oh,” he said with a slight moan, “she is brand new. What’d you bring me, puppy?”

“I didn’t bring you anything.” Ransom growled. “She’s mine.”

Steve looked back at Ransom at that. “Yours? As in…”

“Yes.”

He looked at you critically. “Very interesting.” He held out a hand to you. “Steve Rogers. Welcome to my club.”

You took it and said your name. He brought your hand up to his lips and laid a soft kiss on your knuckles, then, as he released it, gave you a smile that you could only describe as predatory. “An absolute pleasure,” he said. He took a breath as if to say more when he was interrupted by someone in a club uniform whispering in his ear. He rolled his eyes. “I’ll be right there.” He turned back to Ransom. “I have to take care of this. But you should come back tomorrow night. I have a private room in the back. We’ll be able to catch up.” He glanced at you and licked his lips, then grabbed Ransom by the back of the neck and leaned in to give him one of the filthiest kisses you’d ever seen. Open-mouthed and wet. You could tell, even from the outside, how in control of it he was. It both made your knees weak and your blood boil. You were furious at Ransom for submitting to it. When he was done, he rested his forehead against Ransom’s and whispered, “I’ve missed you, Ran. Come back tomorrow.” When Steve pulled away, he winked at you. Then, over your head to the bartenders behind you, “Whatever they want is on me,” before disappearing back into the crowd.

Ransom grabbed your hand and tugged. “Let’s get the fuck out of here,” he growled.

Once you were on the street outside, you pulled Ransom to a halt. “Who the fuck was that?” you shouted.

“That,” Ransom snarled, “was the fucking Captain!” At your blank look, he let out a heavy sigh. “Christ, you’re still so new. He’s a big fucking deal in our circles, ok? He’s a name. He’s known.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. “He’s a famous vampire?”

“He’s a powerful vampire!”

“Well, I could obviously see that! It radiates off of him! What I’m asking is, who is he to you?”

Ransom backed himself up against the nearest building and leaned his head against the wall. He closed his eyes and sighed again. “He’s the one who turned me.”

“What?” was all you were able to say. You’d known, of course you’d known, that Ransom hadn’t always been a vampire, that he’d been turned at some point. But he’d never said a word about the circumstances and you honestly hadn’t given it much thought. Him being a vampire was just so natural to you, you couldn’t imagine him any other way.

And then you remembered how you'd felt when you'd first woken up when you'd opened your eyes and seen Ransom standing above you – everything you'd felt about him, the man who'd given you this incredible gift. The idea of Ransom feeling that way about someone else – about Steve – filled you with a fire so intense you wanted to spread it through this entire city, burn down absolutely fucking everything. “How long were you together?” You asked and you could feel how your voice shook.

“Less than a decade,” he said like he was trying to dismiss the whole thing.

You scoffed. “You say that like it isn't a long time!”

“It isn't! Not to him, not to someone that old. He fought in the Revolutionary War, ok? I was a one-night stand to him.”

“But he wasn’t that to you,” you hissed.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, then, finally, “No. He wasn’t.”

You’d never felt like this before, not even before, when you’d found out everything Andy had been up to. You’d never felt this all-consuming fire, this hate and despair and lust all swirling together. You wanted to put your fist through the brick wall next to you. You wanted to put Ransom through it. You wanted to fuck him right there on the street. It was only the fact that you equally wanted to do all three things at once that kept you from doing any of them.

Like he always could, Ransom read everything on your face, in your body. “I hate him, ok?” he said, reaching out and softly laying his palm against your cheek. “I hate him so much.” He was placating you but you still leaned into it.

“You want him,” you whined. It was obvious in the way he’d melted into Steve’s touch, Steve’s kiss.

“I do,” Ransom nodded and you growled. He stroked his thumb along your cheekbone to soothe you. “I’ll always want him, just like you’ll always want me and I’ll always want you. There’s something about that bond – when you turn someone. I don’t know, but no matter how much I hate him, I’ll always want him.”

“And he’ll always want you,” you snarled.

Ransom gave you a rueful smile. “That, I’m not so sure. He’s a couple hundred years old and I don’t think even he knows how many progeny he has. Plus he’s been in love with the same man since he was human. When Bucky came back, I was shown the door.”

You were finally starting to let go of your anger. You moved fully into Ransom’s space, placing one hand on his chest. “Fuck him, then,” you said. “Let’s go back in there, drink him out of house and home and then get the fuck out of Germany.”

Ransom rested his forehead against yours, in a mirror of what Steve had done to him, and sighed. “We can’t. We have to come back tomorrow night.”

“We don’t.”

“We do. He’s fixated on you now.”

You took a step back at that and looked at him, confused. “He barely looked at me!”

“Trust me, if we leave now, it’ll become an obsession, and he’ll come after us just to show us that he can. We don’t want that.”

For the first time that night, you felt a frisson of fear. “Does he want to hurt me?”

Ransom snorted and you had the shortest moment to be offended before he said, “He wants to fuck you. Both of us, probably.”

“What?” you asked, surprised. “What would be the point of that for him?”

He snorted again, “Besides orgasms?” he said and then sobered. “It’s a power play. You have to know that every single thing he does is a power play. Ok? You must remember that when we see him again.”

“Ok,” you nodded, a little frightened by his seriousness. But only for a moment, because quickly your thoughts were overtaken by a broad chest, thick thighs, and a perfect ass.

You looked up to see Ransom smirking at you. “Yeah,” he said, “whatever you’re imagining, it’s going to be so much better. It’s the best thing about him.”

You returned to the club the next night. Ransom had insisted on dressing you both – you in a form-fitting, off-the-shoulder dress that barely covered your ass and left your neck and chest exposed, him in a burgundy silk button-down, strategically unbuttoned, and tight black pants that made his ass pop. You were sure that if you could have looked at yourselves together in a mirror, it would have been a sight to behold.

Someone was called to the door when you got there and you were led directly to Steve’s private rooms in the back. You entered into a sort of sitting room, plush seating scattered throughout, arranged over lush rugs and under low lighting. Everything was dark wood and deep reds and blues. It communicated comfort, luxury, and, more than anything else, power.

Steve was already there, sitting in a large, wing-backed leather armchair. He looked, as ever, clean-cut, professional, and in charge. At his feet kneeled a dark-haired young woman, clad only in an expensive-looking slip made of silk and lace. You could smell the humanity on her. It took everything in you to not let your fangs drop right there. Steve slowly, gently, pet her head, like she were his dog. He gave a satisfied smile when he looked up at you both. “Good boy,” he said to Ransom. “I knew you’d come.”

Ransom huffed and pulled you so your back was flush against his chest. He layed a possessive arm across your stomach. “Of course. Who would dare ignore a summons from The Captain?” he said dryly.

Steve rolled his eyes but kept his smile. “Nothing as dramatic as all that. Am I not allowed to want to catch up with an old friend and his new lover?” Ransom scoffed but didn’t say anything, so Steve continued, gesturing to the woman at his feet. “I took the liberty of having something brought up from my private reserves for us to share. I remembered how you prefer the earthy ones, Ran. This one’s full-bodied and oaky, with the subtlest hint of vanilla. You’ll like it, I’m sure.” He stopped petting her, instead taking her hair in a harsh grip and moving her head to expose her neck.

At that, you couldn’t control yourself anymore, your fangs dropped with a hiss and you lunged forward. Ransom caught you, both arms around your middle and you let out a desperate whine. “I’m afraid we’ll have to decline,” he said. “My little rabbit still hasn’t quite mastered self-control and I would hate for there to be an accident with one of your favorites.”

Steve scoffed. “Of course, she doesn’t have any control with you being the one to teach her.”

You felt Ransom stiffen behind you, and you were able to pull yourself together enough to stop fighting to get loose. You sank back into him, partly to comfort and partly to apologize. You’d embarrassed him. You tipped your head back to try to whisper an apology, maybe, but Ransom just subtly shook his head and ran a comforting hand down your side.

“Well,” Steve said, patting the woman on the arm and then snapping at the door behind him, “can’t be helped, I guess. Pity.” He pulled out his phone and typed a message as she got up and left the room. “They’ll bring us something from the bar.”

“Excellent,” Ransom said, still running his hand up and down your side. “We haven’t eaten anything yet tonight.”

“Well,” Steve said with a smirk as there was a knock on the door and someone in the club’s uniform came in with a tray of drinks, “I promise you’ll both be very satisfied.” He passed a tumbler to each of you. “What should we cheers to?” he asked. Then his eyes narrowed in on you. “To new friendships,” he said, with a quirk of his lips.

You raised your glass, then took a sip and moaned. It was delicious, even though you missed the little cries and whimpers that usually accompanied a feeding.

You were so absorbed in your glass that you were surprised by Steve’s fingers circling your wrist. “You like it?” he asked, his voice low and husky, standing much closer to you than you’d realized. This close, he was completely intoxicating. His scent, the coldness of his touch, his power.

“I do,” you breathed, “it’s delicious.” Ransom’s arm wrapped across your body again, pulling you tight into him.

Steve ignored the display from Ransom, softly running his thumb over what had been your pulse point when you were human. “I’m glad,” he said. “I’m here to please.” He began to pull you away by your wrist and Ransom let out a short but obvious growl. Steve took his attention off you but left his hand and tsked. “You always were so possessive. I’d hoped you’d have grown out of that by now, but you’re still so young, aren’t you, pup?”

Ransom scowled. “I always hated it when you called me that.”

“No,” Steve said. He leaned forward and placed a soft but leading kiss on Ransom’s lips, squishing you between the two men. Your whole body was thrumming with need now. Steve pulled away, and Ransom moved his head to chase after him. “You loved it,” Steve whispered.

He grabbed your free wrist with his other hand and pulled you with him as he walked over to the nearest couch, perching on the arm. “Come here, little one. Let’s talk, just you and me.” He pulled you so you straddled his knee, and you could tell that you were soaking his pants leg through the tiny excuse for underwear you were wearing. “Oh, you are a needy thing, aren’t you? Maybe you should stay with me, hmm? I’m much more experienced and have so much more to teach you.”

You could feel Ransom’s hackles rising, even from a few feet away. You turned your head to look at him, still standing by the door, and his eyes were locked on you, just you. You bit your lip to hold back the moan at how he watched. You turned back to Steve and smiled seductively as you said, “And what would happen to me when Bucky comes back?”

Steve threw his head back and laughed. His eyes cut to Ransom as he said, “Jealous little thing!” He jerked his knee up, rubbing hard on your cunt and you gasped. “Yes, I’m sure he’s told you all about how I spurned him. Took advantage of his naivety. As if he ever had any. Is that what he told you? Am I the big bad?” You couldn’t answer him, could barely think, as his knee continued to grind against you. “Oh, little one, you are drenched. How does he handle you by himself? Ransom,” he called over your shoulder. “Come help your desperate thing.”

In an instant, you felt Ransom’s hands on your hips, and you couldn’t help the cry that tumbled out of you. He had your dress off before you could even register what he was doing. Steve groaned at the sight of the black lace that adorned your body. “You wrapped her up exactly how I like. Such a good puppy.”

You couldn’t hold back any longer. You tore through Steve’s shirt, sending buttons flying across the room. He lunged forward, kissing you, finally, demanding and aggressive, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth, making you keep up with him. You felt Ransom’s own mouth on your neck, his hands on your breasts. Your hands fumbled their way down Steve’s abs and into his pants, freeing his cock—long, fat, and so, so hard for you. One of them, you weren’t sure which, tore away your underwear, the sting of the elastic snapping pushing you ever closer to the edge. In your periphery, you vaguely noticed Steve’s arm snaking around you and heard Ransom gasp. You wrapped a firm hand around Steve’s cock and stroked furiously, as Ransom’s fingers (you’d always know Ransom’s fingers) slid between your folds, his thumb quickly finding your clit while two fingers slipped inside you. You keened as he touched you exactly where he knew you needed it and sent you hurtling over the cliff of your orgasm. Your whole body shook with it, only managing to stay upright thanks to being sandwiched between these two men. It felt endless, but as the aftershocks ran their course, and you slowly came back down to earth, you registered Steve’s breaths growing more erratic and Ransom’s groans picking up behind you. You tightened your grip on Steve and increased the pace of your strokes to an inhuman speed until he bucked uncontrollably with a guttural moan and painted his spend all over your front. Seconds later, you felt Ransom’s own release on the small of your back. They both continued to jerk against you, gradually slowing down until the three of you were just one tangle of limbs, collectively trying to catch your breaths. You rested your head against Steve’s shoulder as Ransom collapsed against your back.

Steve looked over you both to the clock on the wall. “Well,” he said, his voice full of smug satisfaction, “we have about six hours til sunrise, and there’s a bed in the next room. Think we’ll be able to find a way to fill the time?”

Tag list is open

@stargazingfangirl18 @drabblewithfrannybarnes @thezombieprostitute @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @bval-1 @km-ffluv @texmexdarling @ladyvenera @she-wolf09231982

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mondaymelon · 4 months

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MERRY CHRISTMAS !!! gifts ensue.

he really went. blep. hi user @ilyuu. im proud of this one so congrats wanderer takes home first gift wooo

lmao id like to apologise in advance as this was brought on because of me but I got super burnt out drawing like 20 of these over the course of 2 days... if you see the quality of the drawings declining ( which you will ) please don't mind it!! thank you.

@anonbinaryweirdo. sigh. i get whiplash whenever you're super nice and then in the span of the next three seconds immediately do something vile

@soleillunne. we don't talk much but from what I know you are such a sweet person omg !! and your works??? dies inside (in a good way). the way you write xiao maks me so. puddle like

@realkavehgf. we agree on one things (amongst others) and that is that kaveh is. kAVEH IS. MALFUNCTIONS PERISHES.

@emphasisondrvgs. you scare me. please take your ranpo and quietly see yourself out LMAO /j

@pjsk-writin. AMIMI ONE OF MY FIRST EVER MOOTS !!! im so proud of mikoto. sighs. straitjackets are smth else to draw .. BUT HES SO. MMMMMM !!!!

@circyexistforcontent AAAHHH HI PRECIOUS. I LIKE YOU BUT I DONT REALLY LIKE DILUC SO. TAKE THIS... quietly throws up

@whats-it-mean. puka puka. head empty. puka puka. please stop your affairs with my mother.

@falors. UGLY SOBS. UGLY CRIES. I LOVE YOU /P SM. WAAHHHH TEARS TEARS TEARS you are the most talented person ever I S T G gRAAAHHH YOU BETTER GET 18412409128410948 FOLLOWERS THIS YEAR OR I WILL RIOT. mwah.

@dustofthedailylife. omg. hi dust... tbh ive been so concerned for you recently with how much life is running you over with a pickup truck so wishing for your improved health soon !! alhaith is a smort guy what can I say

@the-white-void. DEAREST. literally one of the first people I ever interacted with on this platform and you're actually. like. literally one of the sweetest people I have ever met. KLEE IS SUCH A CUTIE FJSFJDK

@kaeffeinee. OMG. m..my kitten- woah WHO just said that. wild shit right there. have something you don't like?? have something that's been pestering you for far too long?? no worries. its the official nag seal of mendokusai !!!!

@lillonvia. sobs. I didn't do the man justice.loud sobs. DFSDDSF YOUR ART MAKES ME WANT TO LIKE DISENTAGRAT INTO GLOWING BALLS oF FUZZ AND FLOAT INTO THE HEAVENS I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO DESCRIBE IT. WE ARE SO DELULU oVER XIAO. FOAMS AT THE MOUTH

@absolutelyobsessedkiya. HELP WHY IS MINORI SO BRIGHT.... she's literally shining what. we need to talk more pspsspsp I just now found out that you're a fan of milgram!! remember like last year I was all 'whose that pretty pink person on their pfp??' AND NOW I FINALLY KNOW THATS ITS MUU RAHHHH

@auroratumbles. meow. cat. what a sweetie. I don't even know what my art style is doing here anymore Istg what even. what even BYE LETS TALK ABOUT XIAO LATER !!

@papiliotao. mwah. a kith for you. mWAH. ANOTHER KITH. SJFKSDJFLS GRAHHH YOU ARE THE SW E. E T E ST AND YOUR THE SWEETEST AND YOUR CAT IS THE SWEETEST AND YOUR VOICE IS MAKING ME WANT TO ELEVATE INTO THE CLOUDS AND YOURE SO SILLY EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT LIKE AKITIO SHINONOME

@yinyinggie. hihihi ying !! it honestly amazes me how you're able to juggle so many events and servers at once. im actually in awe. always look at xiao he's so emo and short

@solxima. GRAHHH HI. I DONT LIKE HOW JINGYUAN LOOKS IN THIS BUT. DLJFLSDJ DIES> I CANT DO THIS AN Y M O RE. your honor. hes so cat coded hes so cat coded he's so PERISHS

@yelshin. WAIIIIT NO YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF> iM SORRY. I don't know why he looks... so r e g a l in this but its definitely giving off oRAtRice MecAnIquE DAnAlySe CARdiNAle .

@vennnnn-diagram. LOUD SCREAMING N O . YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF TOOOODJSKFLSD JGAIJFAD JKLJFD:LFS. anyways. I need to see nahida smiling more she deserves everything and then some. aranaras are so silly giggles

@lume-nosity. I hold the slightest bit of guilt for putting your angsty ish drawing right next to happy lil nahida buT AHAHAH IT MAKES IT HURT MORE IG. took some inspo from your blog title... mwah ily lume. I WAS SO SCARED TO TALK TO YOU AT FIRST WHEN I SENT YOU THAT MOOT ASK BUT I AM EVER SO HAPPY THAT I DID !!!

th end. im actually so dead lmao my fingers actually were starting to bleed afklsdjfaskdjfklsdjflkasdjflksjflkjowejtoij enjoy your Christmas gifts mooties !! if anyone asks why I haven't been posting fics as promised. this is why. ill be in a coffin for a while please let my soul rest

OH AND FORGOT TO MENTION I DREW THESE BASD ON THE MOOTIES THAT COMMNTED ON MY THINGY LIKE LAST WEEK WHICH ASKED WHICH CHARACTER THY WANTD I LOVE YOU ALL PSPS I PROMIS

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nolita-fairytale · 1 year

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make my heart surrender | carmy berzatto x fem!reader | chapter six: monday

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

warnings: lots of swearing, angst, use of she/her pronouns, friends to lovers, references to sex, no use of y/n, second person pov

word count: 3.4k

summary: it's your last full day in chicago and you and carmy talk about the future of your relationship.

a/n: wow can you believe we're in the home stretch? i have one more chapter for all of you that are reading about our loveable kitchen idiots, but i'm definitely not done with these two.

read: part five | masterlist

Monday

“What’re you doing?” he asks, his morning voice gruff with sleep, his comment making you laugh.

“You haven’t even opened your eyes. You don’t know if I’m doing shit,” you reply.

“Yes, I do. I can feel you,” he shoots back, peeking one eye open.

You’re tracing your fingertips along his little tattoos that run along his right arm, propped up on your side: the angels below his elbow, the little fish on the inside of his forearm, the snail right above his wrist, then finally, his chef’s knife-hand tattoo on the back of his hand.

“Stop, ‘s creepy,” Carmy groans, throwing one of his hands over his eyes.

“What?”

“You’re watching me sleep,” he grumbles, earning a laugh from you.

It’s the third morning in a row that you’ve woken up together, and as the morning light floods into his bedroom once again, he doesn’t have the heart to ask you to close the curtains. He can’t bear the idea of you getting out of bed and leaving his side. He makes a mental note to close the damn curtains better next time.

You giggle at his comment, beginning to to leave soft kisses up his arm, around his shoulder, across his chest, until he’s pulling you on top of him, a sleepy smile on his face.

He could get fuckin’ used to this.

“It’s not creepy,” you protest softly, in between kisses.

Instead of coming up with a smartass reply, all he says is:

“Morning.”

“Morning,” you answer, leaning down to kiss him.

You snuggle into him your legs wrapping around his hip as you rest your head on one side of his chest, curled up to his side.

“What do you want to do today?” he asks, rubbing his eyes, accepting that he’s going to have to get up eventually.

“Hmm.. well, you promised me a true Chicago date,” you prompt him.

“I did.”

You reach over, intertwining your fingers with his opposite hand this time, as you bring it up to your lips to kiss each letter tattooed on his knuckles: S, O, U.

Sense of urgency.

“This is new,” he says, holding your hand up to the light, taking a look at your most recent tattoo. It starts at your wrist and extends all the way down your forearm, stopping just underneath the crease of your elbow.

“Yeah, you don’t get to be the only cool one with ink,” you hit back, playfully. “I also have a new little one on my rib cage.”

“Yeah, I-, I noticed that,” he says, his lips curling into a smirk, knowing that he’s only seen it because he’s seen you naked.

“Oh you did, huh?”

“Yeah.”

He waits a beat before returning to the topic at hand. He turns his head towards you, your face only inches away from his now.

“Thought we could take a walking dumpling tour of Chinatown. You know… like we used to do,” he suggests.

Memories of your adventures up and down Mott St. and Bowery come flooding back to you and you can’t help but grin. You’re honestly glad he remembers.

“Sounds incredible.”

You wait a beat as the sobering reality of the day – your last day in Chicago – hits you.

“We should get up and shower,” you sigh, reluctantly.

If you weren’t such an overthinker, you’d stay in Chicago forever. Pay rent to Pete and Sugar on your airbnb till you could find a place. If this were a movie, or a fantasy, you wouldn’t even think twice. Hell, you wouldn’t even go back for your stuff in New York. As long as you could stay here, in this bed with this beautiful man, who needed a fuckin’ IKEA dresser?

But your brain is quickly flooded with questions, logistics, ‘what ifs’ that hold you back from your desire to be impulsive. You’re also freaking out. This feels so good – too good – it’s near terrifying. You can feel your self-saboteur creeping up within you, but you’re quick to squash that little voice in your head that takes your doubts too far.

“Yeah, we should,” he agrees. “You go ahead. I just wanna lay here for a second.”

“Meet me in there?” you ask, as you sit up for a quick peck on the lips.

He nods in response as you begin to move.

You groan as you force yourself up and out of bed, wearing only an old Original Beef Chicagoland t-shirt. You’d found it in the laundry basket with a bunch of other clean, yet unfolded clothes he hadn’t put away. The cold air hits your skin as you hiss at the impact. Carmy watches your every move, still convinced this is all a dream. You know exactly what you’re doing as you strip the t-shirt off, revealing your bare body underneath, tossing it on the floor and making your way to the bathroom.

“But don’t keep me waiting for too long.”

Carmy hears the sound of the water running and he shakes his head. You’re a piece of work – he’ll give you that. He sits up, wondering how any of this could be real.

You spend the rest of the day exploring Chicago and Carmy realizes it’s been quite some time since he explored the city he grew up in. So much has changed…. You’d taken a twenty five minute bus ride from River North down to Chinatown, and had allowed yourself just to roam. You had missed these grand adventures with him: from stops for pork dumplings, to arguing over who gets to pay the bill, to returning back to a community botanical garden you’d passed earlier.

“Wait. You’re not kidding?!” you exclaim at the outrageous statement he’s just made. “Noooo, no, no, no.Take it back!”

“Nope. No! I’m not taking it back,” he protests, stubbornly.

“Okay, don’t get me wrong,” you clarify. “Because the pork buns were good. But you can’t possibly think that there’s a better pork bun than… what was it called?”

“You can’t even remember the name,” Carmy scoffs, playfully. “How can it be that good then?”

“Oh fuck off. It was the place we liked, right next to that uh, that pharmacy with the green awning. Oh! And the menu was always printed on neon green paper taped in the window – no English, just pictures. You don’t remember?” you ask, raising an eyebrow at him.

He certainly remembers, but he’s enjoying giving you a hard time.

“I’m just saying. I think they might be the best pork buns in the country.”

He shakes his head, sighing out your name.

“I don’t know. I think the entire population of San Francisco would take offense to that statement,” he challenges you.

“Well, we’re not talking about San Francisco, Carmen,” you point out, using his full name just to one up him.

“Hey uh. I don’t know if you noticed but… San Francisco is actually a part of this country,” he pushes back, being a smartass.

“Oh it is?” you reply back, sarcastically. “I had no idea. Thank you so much for enlightening me.”

The banter between the two of you is your favorite kind of foreplay. You’ve missed this.

He pauses, redirecting his attention to Chicago.

“So what?” he teases. “You're gonna come into my city and insult it like that? Okay. I see how it is.”

He holds the cigarette that’s previously been in between his index finger and middle finger back into his mouth now. You watch as it sits between his lips, deciding to push his buttons a little further.

“Jesus Christ,” you shake your head, playfully scoffing. “I can’t believe you’re smoking in a freakin’ community garden, Carmen.”

“What? We’re outside. I didn’t see a no-smoking sign when we came in. Shit…” he groans, somehow managing to keep the cigarette in between his lips.

“You gonna put it out?” you shoot back.

“No.”

“Well, fine. Then give me some,” you say, reaching for it.

“I thought you were trying to quit,” Carmy’s quick to rebut you, grabbing it out of his mouth and holding it above your head. He’s not that much taller than you, but you can tell he’s having a little too much fun with this game of keepaway.

“Carmy!” you exclaim with a laugh, pulling his arm down.

“No! You said you were trying to quit.”

“I never said that!” “Yes you did. You looked at me and you said, ‘I’m trying to cut back, Car.’”

“That doesn’t mean-. That’s not the same!”

“Yes, it is.”

“No it’s-, fuck you.”

He laughs, shaking his head before turning to you, almost as a challenge. He raises his eyebrows before asking:

“You really want to spend our last full day together arguing?”

“Well, when we’re so good at it…” you banter back, flirtatiously.

Finally… finally, he leans in to kiss you. You can taste the cigarette on his breath that you’d fought him so hard for. The both of you stop in the middle of the walkway, earning a few looks from a few people passing by. Carmy’s tries to fight the surprise he’s feeling – still trying to adjust to the fact that someone, let alone you, would want to kiss him in broad daylight.

You laugh, pulling away from the kiss before grabbing his arm as the two of you continue your walk along the carved out pathway.

He doesn’t want this to end.

He never wants this to end.

But his own words echo in his head – about this being your last day with him. Your week in Chicago is coming to an end, sending panic all throughout his body if he thinks about it for too long. He knows that all he has to do is say something – ask you to stay – and he’s not sure what he’s fucking waiting for. The words have built up within him, gotten stuck in his throat, and he’s swallowed them, scared absolutely shitless.

He can hear Mikey’s voice in his head as the words are on the tip of his tongue.

Let it rip.

Don’t be a fuckin’ idiot. You can’t let her go!

Let it rip, Carm.

With your fingers so gently intertwined between his, he can feel his hand getting clammy as he contemplates what he’s about to say.

“I don’t want this to be the end,” he blurts out, catching you off guard.

You stop. You’re not sure why you’re so surprised. You’ve been thinking about it too, afterall, but you half expected that you’d have to be the one to bring this up.

“I don’t want this to be the end either,” you confess, your voice soft as you lose yourself in the way he’s looking at you right now.

He’s relieved, almost surprised.

“You don’t?”

You shake your head, chuckling at his reaction.

“No, of course not! This is-, these past few days have been….”

“Yeah,” he agrees, a small smile threatening the corners of his lips.

“Yeah.”

You exchange glances, and how much you care for each other is evident in each others’ eyes.

“It’s just that-. Well. Do you-, do you want to… sit?” you suggest, gesturing towards one of the park benches.

He’s not sure why, but his stomach drops as he anticipates what you’re about to say. You seem serious… uncertain… even after what you both just said.

“Yeah, of… ‘course,” he stammers, following you as you lead him towards a park bench.

You take a seat, sitting side by side as you stare at the ground. His eyes are on you and he wonders why you’re avoiding his gaze. He rubs his palms together, feeling just how clammy they’ve gotten. He’s so fucking nervous he feels like he could jump out of his skin.

“I think. Well, I think that maybe we-. Well, I won’t speak for you but, I think maybe I’ve felt this way for you for a long time,” you begin, finally meeting his gaze with yours.

It’s just, if you look at him for too long, you may not say what you need to say.

“I think maybe… we were ignoring a lot of things. You know? Back in New York,” you continue, trying your best to articulate where your head's at.

“I don’t-, I really thought for a while we could just be friends. And I was okay with that. But then we slept together… and when you left New York, I guess I just realized how much of a space in my life you were filling for me… you know… the kind of space…” you pause, suddenly afraid to say the word, as if it’s going to send him running for the hills.

“... the kind of space a boyfriend would fill up, you know?”

Boyfriend.

Right.

“Woah,” Carmy sounds, hearing it out loud for the first time.

“Yeah. It feels just as weird to say.”

And suddenly, you feel shy.

You both take a beat. Carmy’s still hung up on the whole ‘boyfriend’ part, and you’re trying to figure out how best to proceed.

“I mean, am I just fucking crazy to think that-, I don’t know. That after one week of… and it’s only been a couple of days, of us, you know… doing this,” you stammer through.

“No, you’re not-, it’s not crazy for thinking that-,” he starts, before stopping again.

He wants you to say it: that you’ll stay. God, does he want you to say it.

And he also knows that he hasn’t asked you yet. Hell, he’s still reeling from you bringing up the word ‘boyfriend.’ It’s not like you can read his mind – know that he wants nothing more than to be your boyfriend.

“I want to make this clear first. I’m just-, I really want to be with you,” you say, speaking plainly enough, leaving no room for a misunderstanding. “But I don’t want to be presumptuous that you also-.”

“No I-.”

The words feel like boulders, falling out of his mouth.

“I want… that too.”

Let it rip, buddy.

Carmy’s opening his mouth to say something else, but you’ve beat him to the punch as you continue with,

“But… right now, we live in different cities and… I know long distance can be a lot of work.”

Were you having second thoughts?

“This is all just happening so fast and it’s a lot of change-. Dating is one thing but moving is a whole other thing for me to wrap my head around. It would be a lot of change for me if I-,” you try to explain. You let out a laugh before allowing yourself to be vulnerable – hoping it wouldn’t discourage him at all.

“I’m just kind of freaking out here, Car,” you confess. “And I also am kinda wondering where your head’s at too.”

And it feels like a weight’s been lifted off of the both of you. He laughs in relief along with you, shaking his head.

“Thank god,” he sighs, and it’s liberating.

“You too?”

“Yeah I-. Fuck yeah I’m freaking out,” Carmy reassures you, glad that you’re both on the same page.

You both exchange a look, sharing a hopeless laugh, and in that moment, neither of you need words to understand how you feel about each other. You’re both head over fuckin’ heels for each other. You reach over, giving his hand a squeeze, satisfied with that as an answer.

You settle into a comfortable silence with each other, watching the power walkers, the parents pushing their kids in strollers, the jogger running with their dog. While you’re glad you’ve gotten that out of the way, Carmy still has yet to tell you where he’s at. He repeats the words he’s had in his head, over and over again.

He doesn’t want to scare you, but they’re eating at him, like if he doesn’t let it out, he’ll implode.

You listening to me, Bear?

Can you hear me?

C’mon man. Let it rip.

“You could stay. If you wanted to. Just so you know,” Carmy blurts out, grabbing your attention.

Okay. Okay. Try not to fucking panic, you remind yourself.

Now that he’s said the words out loud… now that they exist between the two of you – that they could be a reality.

While you’d love nothing more than to say yes, you’re terrified, and all the change is terrifying. Like what if you said no and he decided to call the whole thing off? Even though you’re screaming internally, you try to approach it from a logical perspective.

“How-, how would that work?” you ask, teetering the line between hesitation and curiosity.

He shrugs, feeling incredibly naked all over again, “You heard everyone the other day. I don’t think anyone would… hate you stickin’ around.”

“And Marcus. He’s learned so much from you in just a week. You guys could… I don’t know… he can’t do it all by himself. We’re gonna have to hire someone else to help out, anyways….”

“Well, it’s Marcus’ domain. I wouldn’t want to intrude,” you reply.

“No, I know! I-, well I’d have to talk to him first but I’m sure he’d be… more than happy to hear that you’d be-.”

You’re quiet as you let his words land, your thoughts running a mile a minute.

“I’m not saying that… I haven’t made a decision yet,” you preface, wanting to be as clear as day here. “But if I decided to… you know. Well… I’d have to get my own apartment.”

“‘Course, yeah, of- of course,” he says, rushing to eliminate any thought that he’d have that expectation.

As he hurries to squash the idea, he wonders why he feels a small pang of disappointment, like a pit in his stomach. It’s not like he expected that you’d just move in together, but he’s gotten used to waking up to you the last few days.

You take another beat, letting yourself work through the thoughts you're having.

“It’d be a lot of change, Carm. And I think I just need a second to like, wrap my fuckin’ head around it. Can I think about it?” you finally ask, hopeful that he’ll understand.

It’s not him at all. You just need a fucking minute to catch up – to wrap your head around this relationship, and the possibility of moving here.

Because what if you move your whole life to Chicago for him, and it didn’t work out? You’d be crushed.

Carmy is quiet, still reeling from the fact that he blurted out those words.

“I’m-, I'm gonna have to go back to New York anyways. Tie up some loose ends. Tell the restaurant I’m not coming back. I got shit in storage too, and a lease I gotta figure out what to do with…”

“Yeah,” he finally says with a curt nod.

There’s a part of him screaming at him to burn it all down. If he sabotages it now, it’ll save him the anxiety and the grief of waiting for your response… of the possibility that you could say ‘no’ and decide not to come back. And there’s another part of him that doesn’t want to let you go back to New York at all because what if you do say no? What if you never come back? What if, after this, you change your mind and he never sees you again?

He snaps himself out of his doomsday ‘what if’ scenario and says, gaining a little more confidence, “No, yeah. Take-, take all the time you need.”

You’ve always been this way anyways. It’s just your M.O. You’ve always needed to think through things before making a decision, he reminds himself.

“Thank you for understanding, Carm.”

“I-,” you open your mouth to say something else, but nothing comes out because all you have left to say is:

I love you.

But it feels too soon – even if you’ve felt this way about him for a long time.

“I mean it,” he reinforces, even if he is faking some of his confidence. “You don’t have to thank me. Take all the time you need.”

You listen, choosing to be optimistic about the whole situation, like you know that you’re going to figure it out together.

“Besides, New York’s not so far away,” you offer up, taking a lighter tone this time. “And.. we both have phones. We can call each other, text… have phone sex.”

He laughs.

“We’re gonna figure it out. If you want to, at least,” you offer up, pausing once more. “You know. With me?”

He nods, shooting you his best reassuring look.

He really does.

He really would like nothing more than to figure it out with you.

read: part seven (epilogue)

taglist: @lazypeachsoul @bookwormvoyageuse @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha

#carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto #carmy x oc #the bear hulu #the bear fx #jeremy allen white #carmen 'carmy' berzatto #the bear marcus #sydney adamu #the bear tina #richie jerimovich #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader

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ladykailitha · 1 year

Text

Do You Know What Shovels Dig? Graves Part 4

Well, @forgottenkanji was the only one that suggested a name, but it was really cool, so I decided why not? Do you know what shovels dig? Graves

Welp, this part has reached over 3k so it’s getting split up. And maybe even an epilogue with that anon’s idea. I know I keep saying we’ll see. But this story has taken life of its own at this point and I’m just putting it out there as it comes.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

And here we get to the party apologizing and Eddie bitching out his friends.

Eddie had band practice after dinner so he kissed Steve on the cheek a little bit before half-time and left. Steve furrowed his brow a bit when he saw Eddie leave but didn’t say anything.

Eddie arrived at Gareth’s house and hopped out of his van. He was pleased to see that all of the other members of Corroded Coffin were already there. He walked up to them grinning from ear to ear.

“Hey, Eddie!” Gareth greeted. “You ready to start, man?”

Eddie just stood there with his hands on his hips, rocking back on his heels.

Jeff looked around Eddie in confusion. “Hey, dude, where’s your guitar?”

“Oh I didn’t bring it,” Eddie replied cheerfully.

The other three shared glances and the muttering began.

“You see I just recently learned that my best friends gave my boyfriend the shovel talk,” Eddie said brightly. “Best friends who really should have known better considering they know my past and that Steve is a hopeless romantic who is a serial monogamist.”

The muttering stopped and silence fell.

“So I’m just stopping by to let you know that because you and several others made my boyfriend so upset he had a breakdown,” Eddie continued in the same cheerful tone, “that if I hear even one word against Steve...” his voice dropped to the dark and wicked tone he used for his villains, “I will gleefully murder your characters in increasingly violent ways and then burn the character sheets. Mm’kay?”

They all nodded vigorously.

“Great!” Eddie said. “See you on Saturday!” And then turned on his heel and hopped back into his van. He drove off with a cheery wave.

Once he was gone they all looked at each other in shock.

“Wait, did Eddie say several other shovel talks?” Jeff asked after minutes of stunned silence.

“Did he say breakdown?” Gareth asked.

“Shit.”

Steve got into work the following morning only for Robin to throw her arms around his neck.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she whispered. “You just always appear so confident and cool when you’re actually dating that I forgot I know you better than that.”

Steve let out a shuddering breath. “It hurt Robs,” he murmured. “I thought I was your best friend and you were telling me not break his heart. I just don’t understand why.”

Robin sighed and let go of him. She hopped up onto the counter and crossed her ankles. “Being gay isn’t the same as being bisexual. You have other options if it goes to shit.” Steve’s face soured and she started waving her hands. “Not that I think it will. Of course I don’t! It’s just hard. Not harder. Because believe me I have heard some pretty nasty things people have said about bisexuals from both sides of the aisle. And I just got so wrapped up in the gay aspect of it all that I forgot you have it just as hard.”

He just shrugged and half turned away.

“Shit!” Robin said. “I’m supposed to apologizing and I’m making it worse. I am sorry. So sorry. I shouldn’t have been dismissive when you asked about Eddie breaking your heart. Because of course you’re concerned about that. Especially after Nancy. I just didn’t think it was possible, because Eddie loves you so much.”

Steve nodded.

She jumped off the counter and threw her arms around him again. “You’re my Platonic soulmate and I love you so much. You deserve people looking out for you, too. And I promise that will be me from now on.”

“I love you, too.” He put one hand on her arm as she held him. They stayed like that until a customer came in.

When Steve got home from work Will was sitting on his front steps.

“Hey, Will, you been waiting long?” Steve asked as he unlocked the front door.

Will stood up and dusted off his pants. “Nope. I knew when you got off and before you ask, Eddie told me.”

Steve raised an eyebrow but didn’t question it. It wasn’t uncommon for kids to just drop by. His was one of the few houses among their friends with air conditioning and the only one with a pool.

“Dustin mentioned he’d be stopping by to apologize,” Will said as he wandered through to the kitchen, “and me and El decided that since you are too nice, one of us will be here to make sure the actually apologize and not hand wave what they did away.”

Steve laughed. “If you say so.”

Sure enough about ten minutes later there was a knock on the door. Steve when to go answer it and Dustin, Mike, and Nancy stood there looking sheepish. Will came out and shook his head.

“That just won’t do,” his said. “Two of you will wait in the front room while one apologizes to Steve. I won’t let you cheat with one person apologizing and thinking it counts for all three of you.”

Steve grinned. “Yeah, Will’s my favorite.”

Dustin looked devastated. “I’ll go first.”

Will nodded and followed Steve and Dustin to the kitchen and Mike and Nancy went to wait in the front room.

Dustin sat on the bar stool at the counter and Steve got him a soda. Will leaned up against the sink and watched.

Dustin wrapped his hands around it and sighed. “I didn’t know anyone had given you a shovel talk because when we talked about you and Eddie I thought it was just a joke. And I thought, ‘hey I should tell Steve to go easy on Eddie after the bats because he was still healing’ you know. I didn’t realize that you had taken to me that I didn’t trust you with Eddie, honest!”

Steve’s shoulders sagged. “All right so maybe yours wasn’t a shovel talk, but you can see why I might think it was, right?”

Dustin nodded. “You’re a good friend, Steve. And I know we don’t tell you enough, but we really do love you.”

Steve pulled him into a hug and kissed the top of his head.

“I’m sorry, Steve,” Dustin cried. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”

Steve looked over at Will who gave him the thumbs up. Dustin’s was a miscommunication on both their parts.

Dustin exited the kitchen and Nancy came in. She spotted Will standing at the sink and turned to Steve.

“I would rather he not be here for this,” she said, her tone clipped.

“And I would rather have not gotten several shovel talks that took an intervention from your boyfriend to get you people to realize you’d hurt me,” Steve replied. “But here we are.”

She pursed her lips and Will raised an eyebrow at her daring her to press the issue farther.

Nancy decided to take the high road and ignore Will instead. “It was wrong of me to threaten you with my gun collection. I realize that you and Eddie are adults that can make their own decisions.”

Steve and Will looked at each other in disbelief.

“What?” she asked.

“That wasn’t an apology,” Will said.

“I admitted to being wrong,” Nancy said with a frown. “That’s what I’m supposed to be doing, right?”

Steve sighed. And that right there was why they never would have worked. “You’re supposed to be sorry that you hurt my feelings, but I’m getting the impression that you aren’t.”

Nancy sighed. “Your feelings were only hurt because there were so many of them. If it was only me or me and a couple of others, you’d be fine.”

“What?!” Will squawked. “That’s not the point!”

“Nance,” Jonathan said from the doorway. They all turned and looked at him. He was leaning against the doorway, arms folded and legs crossed at the ankle. “This isn’t what we talked about and you know it.”

Nancy looked defeated. She turned back to Steve. “I’m sorry about how I treated you. For all of it. Not just the shovel talk thing. You’re a good person. You deserved better than me and when you got him, I was jealous. Of course I love Jonathan.” She turned to him. “I do!” She turned back to Steve. “But you and Eddie have something so special and...” she threw her arms in the air. “I don’t know.”

“So you gave me the shovel talk about not hurting Eddie,” Steve said, “because you were jealous that I was able to find someone better than you?”

“That makes me sound like a horrible person,” she whispered.

“It really does,” Will agreed.

Nancy crossed her arms and looked at the floor. “I just wanted you realize how special what you have with Eddie is. And instead of talking to you like an actual adult, I threatened you instead. That was wrong and I am sorry. You don’t deserve it.”

Steve pulled her in for a hug, too. “I think this is why we would have never worked out, Nance. I love you and I think I always will. But sometimes you get lost in your head and let it do all the talking. Which means the people around you get hurt.”

She nodded. “I just want people to hear me that I forget they have feelings, too.”

“Just remember that,” he murmured, “and we’re good, okay?”

“Okay...” she said softly.

Steve gave Nancy a squeeze and then let her go.

Jonathan turned to Will. “El’s here, too. Why don’t you go keep her from murdering Nancy and Dustin while I handle the next one?”

Will wavered and then nodded, following Nancy out to the front room.

Steve watched him go with a frown. “What was that about?”

And then Mike walked in and Steve’s eyes went wide and he mouthed, ‘Oh.’

Mike stood there between Jonathan and Steve looking at the ground and Steve was struck by how much alike the two Wheeler siblings were.

“This should be by far the most interesting of the apologies,” Steve said. “Whatcha got, Wheeler?”

Mike looked up at him a little stunned. “At the meeting...intervention? Fuck I don’t know what to call it. But Jonathan said something that stuck with me. That you haven’t been that stuck up prick in years.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at Jonathan who just shrugged.

“And it got me thinking,” Mike continued. “Why am I so hostile to you? Because you dated Nancy? But that doesn’t makes sense because I don’t treat Jonathan that way.”

“Did you find an answer?” Steve asked.

Mike shook his head. “And that’s when I realized that I was doing it out of habit.”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “Being a dick was a habit?”

“Being a dick to you was a habit,” Mike corrected. “And that’s not right. Holding a grudge for something you did so long ago and getting mad at you when you said it bothered you? That’s not fair.”

“Life rarely is,” Steve said softly.

Mike cocked his head. “True, but that doesn’t mean I have to actively make it worse.”

Steve nodded appreciatively. “Also true.”

Mike stood up straighter and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I’ve been a dick to you. But I also was only joking about Eddie. For me it wasn’t serious, but hearing that everyone had given you the shovel talk? Holy shit, man, that wasn’t right. The reason I thought it was a joke was because anyone who’s spent more than five minutes with Eddie knows he doesn’t take shit from anyone. If anyone was going to bury you for being a dick to him, it would be Eddie himself.”

Jonathan and Steve glanced at each other and nodded.

“But after I heard that everyone else had done it and meant it?” Mike continued. “Yeah, that was bullshit. So I’m sorry it got out of hand. I’m sorry if my joke added to your suffering. Because I never meant it hurt. Honest.”

Steve sighed. “Yeah. I see where you’re coming from and I accept your apology.”

Mike stood there awkwardly tugging at his shirt hem. “Can I get a hug, too?”

Steve smiled and stepped up to wrap his arms around Mike’s shoulders. Mike sighed and leaned into the hug. He didn’t return the hug, but just stood there enjoying the warmth.

After a few moments, he took a step back and cleared his throat. “Thanks.” He sniffled and then turned to Jonathan. “You won’t tell Nancy about this, will you?”

Jonathan shook his head. “Not if you don’t want me to.”

Steve nodded. “I’m not going to tell anyone shit, man.”

Mike relaxed. “Right. Thanks.”

And he shuffled back to the front room, still sniffling.

“That was certainly something,” Jonathan said after a moment.

Steve chuckled shaking his head. “Those Wheeler kids, whew.”

Jonathan laughed. “Happy to have dodged that bullet?”

“You have no idea, man,” Steve said. “You have no idea.”

***

Part Five Part Six

Tag List: @justforthedead89 @zerokrox-blog @ihavekidneys @didntwant2come @thelittleclare @liorereshkigal @estrellami-1 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @telidina @stevesbipanic @paintsplatteredandimperfect @a-little-unsteddie @jonesn4coffee @resident-gay-bitch @obliosworld @croatoan-like-its-hot @evix-syne666 @emly03

#My writing #stranger things #steddie #jonathan and steve are friends #ladykailtiha writes

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r0syr3a · 3 months

Text

Letters to lovers

Cliff Burton x Reader

Words: 565

Genre: Fluff and angst

Warnings: Discussion of Cliff's passing and swearing

Author note: omg I can't believe I finally got the balls to start posting my writing RAAAHHH! This is for Isa, aka @metallicaislife, one of my favorite blogs! Jewel anon is finally revealed lol. I did use the wiki page on the tour for the order of where they played so it makes a bit of sense. Now, on with the story~

Dear, Y/N

I knew you'd end up looking into my shirt drawer once I left for tour, so I figured I would leave you a little surprise. I knew you'd miss me too much that you would just HAVE to wear one of my shirts to bed ;)

Alright, I'll stop being a jackass now. You told me how much you love letters so I figured I'd write some for you while I'm on the road. As I'm writing this, I haven't even left yet and I already miss you so much. This is gonna suck mega balls, I know it.

Try and get some sleep and take care of yourself while I'm gone, My Star. I'll try and see you whenever I can and I'll call as often as possible.

Love always, your rock, Cliff.

Dear, Y/N

I hope you enjoyed my first letter, we just made it to St. Louis. I don't know how many of these I'll be able to write and receive just because we'll be moving so fast, but I'll write as many as I can, I pinky promise. (See? I do remember things)

Every show so far has been FUCKING WILD! God, I wish you could be here to see it all, I think you'd love it.

I miss you, Y/N. I don't wanna be sad and sappy but it's true. You're My Star, how am I supposed to be a rockstar without My Star? Right now, I'm just a rock and that's not nearly as cool. I'm gonna stop writing this so I can call you.

I love you always, your rock, Cliff.

Dear, Y/N

Fuck, I'm so sorry. I haven't written in forever. I'll try and do better after these next California shows. At least we'll get to see each other for those, right? It's gonna feel amazing to hug you and finally have you in my arms again. The guys miss you too. Kirk says he needs you to paint his nails again before we leave again like it won't be gone in like three days.

I hope you're taking good care of yourself and I'll see you soon.

Love always, your rock, Cliff

Dear, Y/N

WE'RE IN EUROPE BABE!!!!!

It's honestly so cool, we explored some old castles and shit yesterday. The time zones keep waking me out so I don't know when to try and call you, I'm sorry I haven't.

I have been taking pictures for you though. We could make a little scrapbook with them when I get home! We are currently in Ireland so you best believe we are drinking THE BEST beer ever.

I honestly don't know what to write about. All I know is that I love you and I miss you and I can't wait to come home or at least fly you out for a show in some random country.

Soon, My Star,

I love you always, your rock, Cliff.

Dear, Y/N

Hey, it's Lars. I know you already got the news by the time it gets to you, but I know he'd want me to send it anyway, even if it isn't finished. We'll be there soon. Hang tight, please. We love you.

Dear, Y/N

Europe is officially my favorite. The best breakfasts and the best beers? What more could I need other than you here? I am definitely bringing you here one day. I promise.

#metallica #cliff burton #metallica fanfiction #metallica imagines #cliff burton x reader #cliff burton imagine #rosywrites

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starfoundnight · 1 year

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Part 3 and final part-ish

Yakuza boss! Sukuna x chubby! reader

Warning: blood mentions, killing, smut(istg theres more smut then the actual build up to the story),smut also includes name calling degrading, praise, a lot of freaky shit, idk what it's called but you're turned on by how dangerous and strong sukuna is. READ AT YOUR OWN HORNY RISK!!! Honestly it ain't proofed read at all so there is a lot of fuck ups.

You finally wake up with a banging headache caused because of the hangover. You just lay there...opening your eyes you see a big tv in room you've never seen before. 'Where...am I?' You mumble to yourself as you slowly sat up on the couch. 'Morning y/n, welcome to my home' You look behind you seeing sukuna walking into what you think is the lounge. 'Not the best way to enter my home but I'm not too sure on where you live, you drank a bit too much for your own good and you started saying a lot of things, except your address, since you said we were friends and you gave me the sweets for free I owed you one'

You were still waking up and heard the key words:drunk, saying things, and address. You lay back down on the couch 'Morning kuna...' you groan out not wanting to be rude. He hands you a cup of water. 'You have to drink it all for your own good, it'll help you with your hang over' you hesitate at first since you and sukuna have only known eachother for 2 days. He takes the drink and sips it 'I wouldn't do anything to harm you on purpose, you are my friend right?' You nod and drink all the cold water 'thank you' you lay your head on his shoulder 'would you like to watch some TV?' You nod 'yes please'

Time flies and the sun is setting

You go to stand up feeling much better after all the water and food sukuna has given you to eat and drink. 'I should really get go-' He pulls you onto his lap and leans into your ear softly saying 'Don't go yet...stay a bit longer' you blush a lot on your face and you begin to stutter feeling yourself get hotter 'ok ok ok just let me get off your legs I might hurt you' you say mumbling feeling a bit shameful '....you hurt me?' You look up to see sukuna look a bit...offended? 'You think I'm weak enough to get hurt by you? Look at the size diffrence between us' yeah, he was really tall but what about the stomachs? You could tells who's is bigger...Suddenly he stands up carrying you 'do you trust me y/n?' He says holding you around his waist. You nod a bit confused '...yes?' Soon you regret your decision and you get thrown in the air like a baby, getting caught once again just to be chucked around. You can't help yourself but just giggle at the excitement never in a million stars have you thought someone could throw you around like that.

Sukuna finally catches you and let's you back on your feet 'no matter how big or small you get, I will always be able to hold you like grapes' you smile so joyfully to sukuna and sukuna can't help but lean in and softly kiss you. You get taken by surprise but you softly start to kiss him back until you remembered that you are sure how to kiss someone and so you push him away to tell him 'sukunaidontknowhowtokiss!' You yelp and he chuckles 'I wouldn't something to confess as well and you tell me if I'm still allowed to kiss you...' you look upto sukuna as he gently caresses your cheek 'have you heard of...ryomen sukuna the one who thirst for blood?' You nod your head slowly and you lean a bit back 'that's...that is me' you froze from shock.

Weirdly...you get a bit turned on about how dangerous sukuna is but still he's so gentle with you 'kiss me sukuna...please teach me how' sukuna sits on the couch and leans back tapping his lap 'c'mere pretty girl'you get nervous but the way he just looks at you, it's like hes a predator waiting for its prey.

You get yourself onto his lap. He softly grabs your hand 'I'm taking it that you're a virgin?' You nod while having a bit of blush onto your cheeks 'you like the sound of not being one in the morning?' He says while starting to kiss your neck once he feels you nod 'use your big girl voice' you two lock eyes with eachother 'please...use me as you please sukuna...' he chuckles and continues to give you hickeys on your neck 'say "blueberry" if I get a bit too rough, only use it when you want me to stop not when you want a break, you want me to just pause everything and stop and just...love you' you nod understanding what he means and he grabs your round ass roughly while making out with you 'I've wanted to do this ever since you were first nice to me...and you weren't scared of me as well' you softly giggle at his confession 'the day you were so gentle with the kitten in my shop...I wanted you to ruin mine' you whispered just under your breath and your lips slam together becoming more lewd by the second.

He begins to take your shirt off and you start to do the same to him seeing his abs, it felt so unrealistic. "Get on your knees for me baby..." you do as you're told and he unbuckles his belt and unbuttons his pants. He see practically sees sparkles in your eyes "unzip is and take it out of my boxers" you snap back and start seeing the huge imprint "yes sir..." you mumble and slowly unzip it, before you could even take it out of his boxers it sprung up and put its self right infront of your face "can that even go inside anyone...?" That was your first thought when seeing his thick and long cock, it was staring at you...throbbing for you. Sukuna wraps your hair in his fist "you know what to do princess..." you nod hesitantly and open your mouth to wrap around his tip. Holy shit and that's only his tip in your mouth. You can't take it all in your mouth let alone half. "Take your time....just suck what's in your mouth" the reassuring words from sukuna comforted you and you just sucked his tip and you start to Bob your head slowly taking more and more in your mouth going down your throat before your realize you have half of his cock in yiur throat. "Fuck baby take it out of your mouth now." You slowly take it out and there's a pop sound when you take the tip out of your mouth. "I might of just nutted down your throat...fuck, you sure this is your first time?" You nod "mhm only your cock has been in my mouth...the only one I've seen in real life..." hearing that turned him on way more than it should have. "Turn around and bend over for me baby..." you hesitate but the way he looks at you...the lust in his eyes, it's so dominating and you turn around but that's all you get upto before he pushes you to bend over on the small coffee table "sorry baby, hopefully you remeber the safe word" He pulls your pants down and pulls your panties to the side lining himself upto your pussy entrance "fuck your pussy is drooling just from sucking my fucking cock" He rubs it against your slit trying to push it in but it's just so fucking tight and he's so big you think it's impossible until you feel your pussy stretch making you scream from the surprise. Holy shit how can it even fit inside you? He slowly loves deeper "get use to my size...I'm fighting every thought in my mind and muscle in my body to not just thrust inside you breed you like a fucking animal in heat..." all you could do was nod and whimper. He starts to slowly thrust starting to get faster. Hearing you moan and whimper because of his cock was making it throb even more. Giving you a slap on your ass if you try to crawl away and pushing his cock deeper into you. He just loves the way you are crying for him to stop but also begging for more and for his babies inside your womb.

You're now overestimulated. Your brain is mush by now and you can't even speak properly except for begging and moaning. Seeing him lay next to you all sweaty and messy hair was somewhat comforting. Maybe your fucked out brain could comprehend that it was finally over, just for this night atleast. Feeling the cum flowing out of you you put your panties on properly again "fuck...first time having sex and I'm gonna get pregnant..." you mumble and you hair sukuna laugh softly and pull you into him "fuck, I love you."

#sukuna x y/n #sukuna x chubby reader #sukuna x you #sukuna x reader #sukuna #sukuna smut #smut #jjk smut #chubby reader #x reader #yakuza boss #yakuza #not proofread

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marinaiguess · 6 months

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💜💜💜 “i’m sorry you had to see me like that” sonic + character of your choice 👀

Thank you so much for this prompt, Chaox! I started this today and I'm posting it now, without a second editing round bcuz I need to sleep but I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't finish this today :) Hope you like this <3

Sonic Forces inspired. 2k words.

He's getting out of control. Fists clenched so tight he's sure, weren't it for the gloves, he would have drawn blood. His mind is hazy, vision gradually blurring as he tries to shift his attention from the echidna in front of him to anything else.

He should do that right now; he should look away.

Albeit, he can't.

"Can you repeat that, Knux?" he says, his voice laced with venom.

Knuckles takes note of the dangerous undertone—of the warning behind it—but doesn't quite grasp the severity of the situation. He crosses his arms, turning his head away from the other's interrogating gaze. Maybe he can't bear the look on his face, maybe he can't bear the fact that he's wrong. For just this once, he can't deny it, he should have been more careful. Yet another responsibility he had failed to take care of successfully.

"You heard me alright," He spits, anger boiling inside him. "He's not here, Sonic."

Knuckles can feel Sonic's gaze penetrating through his skull. From his peripheral vision, he is able to see the way he's staring at him, the way his jaw tenses and he realizes, it might have been a better idea to break the news in another, more tactful way.

Sonic takes one step forward and suddenly the air is thicker, denser; the room turns tenser.

Amy senses it and opts to act first by putting a hand on his shoulder. "Wait, Sonic, please--"

He yanks her hand away without even bothering to look at her. "Stay out of this, Amy."

"You're kidding," Amy scoffs and she’s not sure if she’s reacting to him ignoring her or to him expecting her to just stand and watch.

This time, he doesn't hesitate to turn his head to glare at her and his emerald eyes have never looked more intimidating before, not to her.

Yet, she doesn't back down. "This is not Knuckles' fault, you know that."

He laughs. There’s nothing funny or humorous about his laugh, but it emits from the depth of his soul, echoing in the room as he turns his attention to Knuckles once more.

"Tell me, commander, whose responsibility was it to look after him while I was gone?"

"Don't give me that shit, Sonic. We couldn't really keep an eye on him--"

Sonic's forearm connects to his neck, pushing Knuckles to the wall behind him. "You couldn't?"

He ignores Amy's pleas, putting more force into his grasp. "Where is he?"

"How should I know?" Knuckles growls. "He's been gone for three months."

Everything goes quiet. Even Amy's voice fades out of existence as Sonic registers Knuckles' words. Without really intending to, he backs down a bit, although he’s still holding Knuckles against the wall.

"What?"

When Knuckles tries to push him away, Sonic doesn’t give him a chance to even touch him and he slams his head on the wall as a warning, his forceful grip returning shortly after, despite hearing Knuckles coughing. Sonic knows he's strong, possibly stronger than him, under normal circumstances, so he understands, even in this state of mind, that Knuckles decides to not fight back.

Good. He doesn’t wanna go all out on him.

"Where is Tails?" he repeats the question.

"I don't know, okay?!"

Knuckles’ scream is the last thing that’s heard in the room, inside the Resistance HQ. Silence fills the void, until Sonic breaks it.

"I trusted you, Knuckles. I trusted you with my little brother's life. And with mine too."

Those words hurt more than Knuckles could have imagined.

But Sonic doesn’t relent, throwing more daggers right at his heart. "Maybe you're just not fit for the job. Or for any job. You shouldn't be taking responsibilities you can't handle."

Knuckles finds himself unable speak, so Sonic does it for him. "I'm gone for six months and you're telling me the war is still going? Great job, commander. On top of that, Tails is gone?"

Knuckles coughs again. "Stop it."

Sonic’s fangs show as a grin carves its way to his face and Knuckles can't tell if it's a sinister act or if it's a coping mechanism to hide his pain. "How does it feel to have failed at everything?"

"Sonic!" Amy intervenes, not courageous enough to properly stand up to him, however.

She's standing still, her hands balled into fists against her chest. It's probably the first time in a long while she's felt this scared. She's never witnessed Sonic lose control like that.

Knuckles meets her gaze and reads her like an open book, agreeing with her thoughts. No matter how well Sonic knows him—well enough to use just the right words to hurt him—in any other case, he wouldn't have gone this far. Something about him is off, his no-die, no-lose attitude is nowhere to be seen, his hopeful, full of excitement for the next adventure eyes are gloomy and dark, his logic is clouded by concern. Even if this is about Tails, this isn't typical of him.

Those six months imprisoned in space did take a toll on him, however much he tried to hide it once they rescued him.

"He's fine," he reassures, getting ahold of Sonic's forearm with both hands, ignoring the way he tenses and hisses. "You trust him, right?"

"Of course, I trust him." he barks, immediately. "But we're in the middle of a war, commander. Eggman might have gotten ahold of--"

"You're--" he scoffs. "You're not thinking straight."

Sonic bares his teeth, his jaw tightening even more. "Are you saying that me being worried is irrational?"

"Yes, it is. The kid can handle himself, Sonic."

"You said it, Knux. Kid. He's just a kid and he's been gone for—for three months?"

"You've left him behind for longer than that before." Knuckles notices out loud.

"It was to protect him!" he spits on his face.

Yet, Knuckles seems unfazed. "What's so different this time around?"

Sonic's mind short-circuits. His eyes widen when he takes in the sight in front of him. He doesn't quite remember how they got here.

"What would he say if he saw you like this?"

The final blow. Sonic had him against the wall but Knuckles had him cornered. He may be right but Sonic would rather not admit that, for the sake of his ego not getting wounded.

He takes a deep breath, letting his arms fall. Knuckles is standing firmly on both his feet now, managing to keep his breathing in check.

Until Sonic approaches him, noses almost touching as he jabs a finger to Knuckles’ chest.

"If there's a possibility, even a slight one, that Tails went through half of the hell I did, I'm blaming you."

Knuckles knows he meant every word, which makes him furious; knowing that he was calm and collected enough to say something like that. Calm enough to walk away after that statement. He can’t just stand there and take it like a champ, resulting in Sonic looking like the bigger guy in this quarrel.

And so, he breaks, guilt washing over him like pouring rain. "You know what, Sonic? You're not the only one who's had it rough. While you were gone, we were fighting our asses to keep the world safe. It wasn't an easy task."

"Yeah? And how did that go?” He turns around to face him. “Ninety-eight percent of the world under Eggman's control and Tails lost,” He huffs a short-lived laugh, bitterness emitting from it. “Excellent work."

Knuckles wants to punch him, he wants to wipe that smug, sarcastic smirk off of his face to knock some sense into him (especially now that he seems he’s pulled himself together, at least a bit) but Amy steps between them, holding her arm out to stop Knuckles on his tracks. He could push her away but she knows he won’t.

"Knuckles is right," She states, locking gazes with Sonic.

For a single moment, she regrets it, upon witnessing the way something passes by Sonic’s eyes, pain written all across his face.

"Knuckles is what? He's right? By saying I didn't have it rough?"

"I didn't—"

Sonic cuts him off, waving his hand as he closes his eyes. "For once in my life I felt truly helpless but I thought you had my back."

Amy and Knuckles can only stare, jaws slack at Sonic’s confession.

"And you just… proved me wrong. I'm—"

His voice breaks, slightly, but of course, it doesn’t go unnoticed.

Knuckles’ face softens and Amy approaches him, just a little bit. "Sonic..."

Sonic ignores her as he sits on the ground, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. "Shit.”

He brings his knees to his chest, almost curling into a ball as he moves his hands closer to his face, inspecting them. Only now he realizes they’re trembling.

He starts rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms, even if he’s using too much pressure it hurts.

Amy takes a few moments before she kneels next to him, a comforting hand making its way to Sonic’s back. He winces when it makes contact with his fur, arching away from the touch but one look around him persuades him he’s safe. With one long inhale, he decides to relax and accept the friendly gesture, despite it not helping that much.

It is sincere. That’s all that matters.

“We can work this out, like we always do,” She speaks after what feels like an eternity. “We will find him.”

It is wishful thinking more than anything, Sonic notes in his mind. If Tails doesn’t want to be followed, he knows how to hide his tracks. Especially with all the commotion thanks to the war happening around them, it would be ten times harder to get ahold of him or even a rough idea of where he might be.

But Amy’s right. They always win at the end of the day. Together.

Knuckles crouches next to him, patting his shoulder since he seems less tense now. “I’m sorry I couldn’t live up to your expectations,” He confesses and Sonic turns his head around so fast he feels dizzy. “You’re right, I wasn’t fit for the job. But it was a real mess, Sonic. We were lost and outnumbered. Tails felt lost as well, helpless.”

At that Sonic tenses but allows Knuckles to continue. “With you around, we might be able to fix things.”

“Yeah, maybe I—”

“Under my command, though,” Knuckles smirks.

“Aye, aye, commander,” Sonic pouts, playfully.

“And,” Knuckles looks at the wall in front of him. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like whatever you had to deal with back there was not rough. With the way you’re acting, I know it was really bad.”

“Meh, whatever,” Sonic waves a hand at him, grinning. “I’ve had it worse.”

Amy snorts and Knuckles’ raises a brow but they both decide to let it slide.

Sonic hugs his knees, his grin falling. “I’m the one who should be apologizing,” He says, taking a deep breath. “I'm sorry you had to see me like that.”

“It’s okay,” Amy reassures without missing a beat. “We know.”

Sonic looks at both of them, their smiles urging his own to appear on his face as well. If he feels his throat tighten, he ignores it. He feels like he’s cried enough the past six months; more than he should have allowed himself to. Good thing no one was around to see the mess the Infinite illusions had made of him.

“Alright,” he gets up, newfound courage flowing through his veins. “Let’s get to it.”

They get up as they nod when a slam of the door catches them off guard.

“Sonic!”

That voice. Sonic’s smile reaches his ears before he finds the source of the voice.

He’s safe. They both are.

He’s real.

“Tails!”

“I was so worried.”

“You worry too much, look! I’m perfectly fine.”

“Who’s gonna tell him he was losing his shit just a few minutes ago?” Knuckles whispers, which earns him a jab on his chest by Amy’s elbow.

#tehehehe yippeeee #this does remind me a bit of a chaox fic but:(this is not plagiarism i prommy #also . this was supposed to take a different turn #but here we are #hope you enjoy #sonic forces #hurt and comfort prompts #my ramblings #my fics #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #knuckles the echidna #sth #sonic fic #fanfiction #long post

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wewebaggit · 6 months

Note

I am already not paying for Netflix and will not support ST either, especially after Shawn Levy's open Zionist approach.

Look, no one is saying they cannot support their family in Israel. But what they are doing is basically sitting in the US and calling for an open ethnic cleansing against Palestinians, while cherry-picking their words and spreading false information. As we speak, Gaza is basically being bombed to death, an entire place has its water, electricity and basic resources being taken from them. It may be easy to post random shit on your accounts with millions of followers while living in rich houses. But the reality doesn't match that and both Levy and Noah should have been more sensible and learned better before posting dumb shit on your accounts.

You are free to hate whoever. N I'm not even gonna bother to defend them cuz it's not my job nor do I base my politics off of teen celebs. That being said I've read his statement that is just as passionate and devoid of the complete understanding of everything of it like other impassioned posts. That's what passionate posts do. They appeal to an emotion. I'm not sitting here expecting him or any other jewish celeb to say yaaaaaas Hamas. Nor am I gonna raise my brows if they speak for the Jewish side of things.

The statement that people read and ran with saying he's calling all Palestinians terrorists is as inaccurate as whatever false info y'all are accusing him of spreading. I do not blame him nor do I defend him and him is a placeholder for any Jew celeb, cuz I do not base my sense of right or wrong on what they're saying. I've never once felt the need to publicly anonymously denounce the people I don't agree with because I don't usually find myself overcompensating for anything.

Israel - Palestine conflict is not new. What's new is this one actor who everyone's expecting to say politically correct shit (which in his mind he might be doing just that 🤷‍♀️) and I believe that expecting this in and of itself is stupid and an easy way to pass the blame and do nothing at all to look good.

Palestinians right to self determination is not affected by what a nobody says. Nor is Israel's stance on continuing on with its policies of decades. The fact that people are busy harping on this one thing cuz apparently the only source of knowledge is insta and therefore maybe it seems like it's a must to react to whatever is seen on insta. Well, I cannot relate.

The fact that you or whoever if there are multiple anons find it necessary to approach me on anon so that I can be derisive towards him and that somehow it is the most important thing to discuss here - well, it is laughably easy to post while sitting in your home with food, water and power while others are wont to dangerously struggle for them. See how that works? My post is and has never been about Israel Palestine at all and was always in response to anon (and fandumb) who's been at it for a while.

Are we truly gonna say that he hasn't always be hated upon for things he's done and not done? Is there a comparable backlash against other celebs? That being said you now stop liking a celeb. Good for you. What does it achieve? Were you following them for their immense knowledge and wisdom of politics and geopolitical conflicts? Then I suggest you do not mourn the loss.

Also the fucking hypocrisy of everyone on this site to wake up like the Undertaker when it's israel/palestine (not even out of much real love for the people affected let me remind you as the argument is centered around fucking Noah schnapp/jewish celebs of all the people) and then no reaction to what happens in third world non-glamorous countries. (The glamorous here is Israel to be clear). And before you say well it's a reaction to what he said. Well there have been reactions based on what he should say or hasn't said, too. So like I'm judging y'all atp. Like what's the issue? Your heart bleeds for victims or does your mouth salivate over taking someone down with that pitchfork?

Why should I engage in an argument that's not based on what is says its about but the subject matter is celeb not the thing celeb is talking about. That being said I won't even be talking about the thing the celeb is talking about because there's shit happening in the world all the time and I have my opinions on all of them and I choose to keep them to myself lest people read what's not there and call me a genocidal dogwhister. There are 2 sides to a genocide. (And I'm not saying like 2 sides to a story. But a victim and a perpetrator) And the supporters of both sides will have unfortunate reading comprehension if it means they can take down a nobody in the business of nothing to make themselves feel morally superior.

So should he (Shawn and Noah) be more responsible or considerate or whatever? Idk. They can be or they can choose to show their ass. My respect (if any) for them never did rest on what their political beliefs were because, at the risk of appearing repetitive, I don't care.

I do care about the proxy hatred being spewed under the guise of sloganeering though. I'm way too used to it. It happens on the daily where I come from. I'm not gonna pretend y'all are angels. I see this for what it is.

So good on you for not supporting ST and staying true to your beliefs and code. That is always a respectable position to take. Sometimes people are just not in your position. Like you might not be in theirs. As you so pointed out.

TLDR: I trust celebs to post dumb shit. Where have you been to have expected differently?

#byler #stranger things #noah schnapp #wewe's askbox #not reread

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irelandseyeonmythology · 5 months

Text

DIAS Black Friday Sale

Once a year, the Dublin Institute for Advanced Studies (DIAS), offers a sale for Black Friday -- DIAS is one of the major publishers for Celtic Studies, many of the best studies of medieval Irish material have come through there.

Some books that I recommend, personally:

Fergus Kelly, A Guide to Early Irish Law (26.25 Euro, normally 35) (THE introduction to law in medieval Ireland)

"", Early Irish Farming (26.25 Euro, normally 35) (Everything you wanted to know about day to day life in medieval Ireland but were afraid to ask. Literally. Everything.)

Medieval Irish Prose

Fergus Kelly, Audacht Morainn (18.75 Euro, normally 25)

Are you planning on becoming a medieval Irish king? Do you want to know what you should do to involve the total destruction of the natural order? Then this is the text for you! Now with English translation!

In all seriousness, this text is used a LOT with regards to studies of ideal kingship in medieval Ireland.

Cecile O'Rahilly, The Táin from the Book of Leinster (26.25 Euro, usually 35)

I'll be real with you, lads: I hate Cú Chulainn. I hate him. I hate his smug, misogynistic face. His creepy multi-pupiled eyes. The shitty way he treats Emer. The way that his presence is like this black hole in the study of medieval Irish literature that means that the Ulster Cycle can get a prestigious yearly conference held in its honor while the other cycles are left with either crumbs or outright dismissal. I think the Táin is boring and episodic as a piece of lit and I've never found anything overly redeeming about it over any other piece of medieval Irish literature, especially since imo other pieces of literature do women (and homoeroticism) much better and get much less praise for it.

...that being said. It's important. It IS iconic, both as a piece of medieval Irish literature and, in general, to Irish literature. Its status as The Irish Iliad means that, if you want to study medieval Irish stuff...you have to read the Táin. And this is a version of the Táin that you might not have gotten, translated and edited by a master of Old Irish, with commentary.

"", Táin Bó Cúailnge: recension I (10 Euro, normally 35)

See above.

Early Irish History and Genealogy

T.F. O'Rahilly, Early Irish History and Genealogy (30 Euro, normally 40)

So. On the record, a lot of what he says here is absolutely not currently believed in the field. Just. No. BUT. There's a reason why I always recommend him anyway, and it's because if you're serious about doing a study of Irish Mythology, whatever we take that to mean...you will not be able to avoid this man. His ideas were very popular for decades and still often are to people who don't really focus on mythology. It's better to know where these ideas come from and to identify them than not, and O'Rahilly, in his defense, had an *excellent* knowledge of his sources. It's dense, it's difficult (rather like the author himself, from the accounts I've heard), but it's necessary if you really want to attack this.

Joan Radner, Fragmentary Annals of Ireland (22.50, normally 30)

There is so much weird shit in the Fragmentary Annals. So much.

Welsh

Patrick Sims Williams, Buchedd Beuno: The Middle Welsh Life of St Beuno (22.50 Euro, normally 30)

I know what you're thinking: "Why the FUCK are they recommending this book about a random Welsh saint? Answer: Because this is how I learned Middle Welsh. The introduction to Welsh at the front of the book + the VERY good index at the back is still one of the best ways to learn Middle Welsh. Also if anyone was watching the Green Knight film and going "Why is there a lady with her head chopped off?" this answers that question.

R. L. Thomson, Pwyll Pendeuic Dyuet: the first of the Four Branches of the Mabinogi, edited from the White Book of Rhydderch, with variants from the Red Book of Hergest (15 Euro, normally 20)

Once you've gotten enough of a hang of Middle Welsh to know the basics, it's time to dive into the classics, and what better way to do it than with the Mabinogi, starting at the very beginning, with the First Branch? Personally, I dislike a lot of Thomson's orthographic decisions, but, hey, it's the First Branch, and that's Middle Welsh orthography for you.

Ian Hughes, Math uab Mathonwy (22.50 Euro, normally 30)

The Fourth Branch, my beloved. Incest, rape, bestiality (well...pseudo bestiality, really), creating a new life while not being willing to deal with the consequences of it...it truly has it all. Not for the faint of heart, but absolutely worth the read if you can stomach it because imo it handles its themes very well and it's incredibly haunting.

And a lot more -- go in, shop around, see what's available. Even with the older books, they're often things that we're still referencing in some way into the present.

#long post

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turnstechgodhead · 2 months

Text

ok to the anon thats talkin w me about mental eelness and bro and the "knight of time" line:

id post your entire ask but its Very Long and im struggling to answer all of it in a way that isnt fucking with my head and anxiety so im going to answer with only the character analysis stuff HERE on this post my apologies

for the record i dont even remotely know how to begin tagging this mess down here and i really think itd be better suited for my nsfw blog but yall aint asking about this on that blog which is fair take care of yourselves

JSYK it's stuff about brocal/intrusive thoughts about inc st and c s a SO kids please avert your eyes for my comfort thank YOU

i dont personally have ocd afaik but as someone who Has intrusive thoughts (actual horrifying ones that dirk, gabe and i have to beat back with a stick, not the ones kids think are intrusive thoughts today)

i definitely think that's how bro approaches raising dave; overcompensating for the accusations from his mind and cal[iborn] leading to total icing him out

okay same anon who was asking abt the “i was raising the knight of time” line. you saying “caliborn made [bro] believe that platonic affection is in fact not platonic at all and is instead sexual[the implications when bro is constantly carrying around cal with his arms around his neck btw. insane.]” is fascinating. is this based off the fact that caliborn thinks even hugging or a kiss on the cheek is “filthy?” it makes me think about ocd/bipolar disorder/misc mental illnesses and intrusive thoughts. i have bipolar and im a huge softie for kids but my intrusive thoughts sometimes try to convince me that my affection is somehow sinister.

YES very much

i need to describe to you my thoughts on brocal really quick bc i think that'll help put it in perspective and idk how else to talk about it;

heres the thing

cal is both bro's boyfriend and his fucking family okay

imagine you're a kid and you have this puppet friend that speaks to you using silly words and tells you that you should eat glass maybe :) or cut your fingers off or tear off your own head and hes the only thing thats taking care of you as a person even if hes mean

he tells you that people touching is inappropriate and vulgar and he cant believe theyre doing that in public (but its okay if we hug and cuddle you know?)

but also as you grow up this puppet starts calling you weird shit like stud or hunky or what the hell ever and maybe. youre going to kiss him

this puppet is the only thing you care about because hes the only thing that cares about you youve been with him for years and years and he talks to you and hes all that matters and now youre obsessed with him and you dont know when that happened but you have an obsessive personality anyway

youll do anything for him. (let me kill for you)

hes the only person you love because you dont love roxy this way (consuming, overwhelming, obligating to do what he wants, because he's all you have)

and well shit

if cals telling you that youre a freak for wanting to cuddle on the baby like you did that once (call it the knight it helps keep your distance) then i guess you're a fucking freak because its not even your right to treat it as family anyway; it's bigger than you. it's more than you will ever be and you need to make sure it doesn't fucking die and apparently that involves at least a little bit of affection cal please understand(what a disgusting species)

#mumbling #brocal #homestuck #bro strider #tsgzv #tsgw #gabe and dirk are my mind parasites btw #PLEASE dont call me a system #timaeus posting

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valeriianz · 11 months

Text

in the spirit of dreamling week, here's a scene i wrote for the last chapter of Let Me Down Easy that i deleted, where they do get frisky in bed (nothing explicit). so please don't read this if you haven't finished that fic yet!

---------------------------------------------------

When Hob wakes, it’s to the feeling of someone combing fingers through his hair.

He hums, unconsciously smothering himself against the hot body next to him and hearing a sharp intake of breath above him.

“Hob,” a deep, melodious voice speaks. “Hob, are you awake?”

“Dream?” Hob blearily responds, blinking his eyes open as he comes to full consciousness.

He looks up and finds Dream staring down at him. Slowly, events of the day before come flooding back into his brain.

“Oh my God…” Hob mumbles and the fingers in his hair halt at once.

“Is…” Dream shuts his mouth, licking his lips and starting over. “Is this alright, Hob?”

Hob continues to stare, his mouth dropping open.

“I can’t believe you’re still here.”

“Shit, Hob.” Dream chuckles warily, one brow raising. “Don’t scare me like that.”

Bit by bit, Hob takes Dream in. The stubble on his chin, the bags under his eyes, his sleep mussed hair and the wonderment in his eyes. Like he’s looking at Hob for the first time; like he’d never see him again, drinking in his fill, and it makes Hob want.

He sits up, ignoring all logic and reason to roll on top of Dream and pushing him back into the pillows, using the surprised gasp to lean forward and shove his tongue down Dream’s throat.

Dream’s mouth is sour and Hob’s sure his morning breath isn’t any better, but regardless Dream groans loudly, like a dragon purring over his treasure as he kisses back, getting his hands around Hob’s middle and holding on.

Hob breaks off with a salacious sound, getting his hands in raven black hair and pulling it to expose Dream’s neck.

“I thought we agreed to– ah.” Hob chuckles, managing to cut Dream off. He rolls his hips down, bringing attention to both of their arousals. “To take it slow.”

Hob bites at the skin behind Dream’s ear, pleased to see it’s still a sensitive area that makes Dream grab hold of him tightly and thrust up, tearing a moan out of both of them.

“Fuck slow,” Hob pants, rocking his hips in earnest now, the material of their sleep clothes causing frustrating, delicious friction. “I want you, now.”

Dream growls and Hob’s heart leaps in his chest as Dream bends his knees, trapping Hob in between them, and rolls them over with a strength that should not exist so early in the morning, pinning Hob underneath him.

“Oh, fuck,” Hob grins, his hands landing on Dream’s thighs.

Dream sits up, the blanket falling off him and he’s clearly about to pull his shirt off, when he stills, his head twitching.

And then Hob hears it, the distinct sound of a cell phone buzzing.

“Ignore it, Dream.”

Dream sighs, knocking his head back violently enough that Hob hears it crack.

“It’s my agent, I know it is.”

He leans down again, his hand diving under the pillow and retrieving his phone, pulling it up and swiping across the screen.

“Hello, Lucienne.” Dream looks down at Hob, biting his bottom lip and Hob is struck, almost like the first time they’d met, with how utterly and completely fucked he was.

Because there was no way he couldn’t not love Dream. Wearing Hob’s old shirt, wrinkled and over-washed. His hair wild and uncombed, thick and begging Hob’s fingers to run through it. And the way his jaw dropped now, eyes squinting shut as a yawn tore through him as his agent– Lucienne– gave him a proper earful on the other side of the line.

“... apologies I forgot to inform you I wouldn’t be back… I didn’t mean to worry you…” He casts his eyes around the room, the fingers on his free hand walking down his thigh to meet with Hob’s, lacing them together and setting Hob’s heart on fire.

“... No I met up with–” his eyes swing back to Hob and Hob raises an eyebrow, challengingly. Dream’s lips break out into a smirk. “I ran into an old friend, I stayed at his place…”

Hob looks down at where they are connected, Dream’s crotch settled comfortably against his, where Hob’s excitement is beginning to wane. He pushes his hips up, one hand digging into the flesh of Dream’s thigh and grinning at the way it makes Dream stutter into the phone. The glare he shoots at Hob is probably meant to be reprimanding, but it’s underlined with obvious interest that Hob doesn’t feel guilty at all for it. In fact, he caresses his hand up Dream’s thigh, his thumb digging particularly close to the slight tent in his pants, and up under his shirt, touching sleep soft, warm skin beneath.

“No, I’m fine. It’s just–” Dream’s jaw drops, eyes locked to Hob’s as Hob grips Dream’s hip and pulls him down just as he rolls his hips up again. “I– I have to go now.”

Dream starts meeting Hob’s thrusts again, deep and languid and Hob smirks victoriously, dropping Dream’s hand to get both of his on those thin hips now and pull Dream forward with a bit more force.

Dream nearly drops the phone, tearing his eyes away, taking a slow breath in and focusing on ending the conversation with Lucienne.

“No, of course I haven’t forgotten. I must be off now. I will see you tonight.”

Dream finally hangs up and drops the phone, grabbing Hob’s wandering hands and pinning them to either side of his head, leaning down with amusement twinkling in his eyes.

“You are a menace, Hob Gadling.”

Hob grins. He’s missed this. How easy it is to be with Dream, to tease and taunt him. He feels five years younger, alive and full of reckless hope and love.

“Not the worse I’ve done,” Hob breathes, arching his neck up to bite Dream’s bottom lip.

#dreamling #dreamlingweek #hob x dream #fic: let me down easy #obviously unedited #i saw where i was going with this and immediately stopped #this wasn't the tone i wanted going into their 'new' relationship #and it felt very OOC considering the serious talk they'd just had #anyway. i never deleted it so im sharing it here!#my writing

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urdadssideho3 · 4 months

Text

CEO!Miguel O'Hara x reader

havent written in quiet a while so sorry if this is shit. Also happy new year!

There are strict rules about workplace romance, which he always abided by, until you came along. The minute you set foot in his office he knew you’d be the perfect fit. He'd taken a quick glance at your resume, pretending to mull over it and get to know you. The entire time he'd been all too aware of the way you sat across from him, your pretty eyes filled with hope as you spoke to him and how plump and soft your lips looked.

Now it’d be the third month you’d be working for Miguel. The little stolen glances and “accidental” brushes of his finger against yours weren't doing it for him anymore. He was continuously growing more impatient and less satisfied with the strictly professional relationship the two of you had. He wanted to take you out to the fanciest of places, spoil you rotten with expensive gifts and treat you better than any other man could, because God knows such a kind and pretty little thing like you deserved it.

The soft click of your heels from outside his office alerted you to him, and he tore his attention away from the stack of papers in front of him and onto you. Miguel's eyes followed the way your hand wrapped around the door as you pushed the glass pane open, and the sway of your hips as you walked towards his desk and the way you stopped in front of him, a manicured hand presenting a cup of coffee to him kindly.

“Thank you,” Miguel muttered his gratitude as he took the cup from you, eyes not leaving yours as he set the cup down on his desk.

“Of course, Mr. O'Hara.” you replied, “Is there anything else I can do for you?” Miguel hummed in consideration of your question, his eyes raking over your body.

“You did something new with your hair,” he commented, seemingly very focused on you. You blushed, bringing a hand to the slicked back locks and smoothing them over.

“I did.” You replied. Anyone who didn’t know you would have missed the way your demeanor shifted, becoming slightly shyer, but Miguel didn’t. He practically spent every waking minute in his office watching you, learning you inside out.

“I like it,” he told you and your blush deepened, your stomach fluttering at the compliment.

“Thank you,” you whispered, ducking your head down.

Miguel stood, now towering over your slim figure as he spoke. “What's the rest of my schedule for today look like?” he asked you. You let out a hum, raising your head to flip through a little book in your hand that held his schedule. It was just around noon, and he’d completed what looked like most of the paperwork for the day.

“You have that business lunch at one with a client, and two meetings back-to-back at three and then four o’clock.” You read aloud. Watching as he rolled up the sleeves of his collared white shirt, leaving you to subtly gawk at his veiny forearms.

"Rescheduled everything,”

Your head shot up, craning to look up at him in shock. “W-what?”

“Reschedule everything.” Miguel repeated, moving around the desk so that there was nothing between the two of you. You nodded, about to rush off to your desk and begin making phone calls, before he spoke up again. “And once you're done with that, we can go get lunch together."

“Lunch?” It was a question, your words laced with uncertainty that you’d heard him right. Miguel nodded, leaning against the front of his desk, one arm braced against the wood plane, supporting his weight and the other reaching out to wrap around your wrist and pull you closer. He settled that hand on your waist, rubbing small circles into your side with his thumb. The small touch made you feel dizzy.

“Yes, lunch. Would you like that?” he asked, his voice softer, a harsh contrast to the stern tone he’d been using with you since you’d started working for him.

“It's against company policy,” you reasoned weakly.

“If you’re worried about losing your job, I won't let that happen sweetheart.” The pet name made your stomach do flips, your cheeks heating up.

“No. No, that’s not what I’m worried about,” you laughed softly to yourself, staring up at him. He wanted to tell you how beautiful you were looking up at him like that, and how it made his heart flutter, and his mind race, but he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Plus, it was a tad early for him to say all of that.

Instead, he hummed a little “mm,” squeezing the flesh of your waist gently and said, “well then if you would like to, I see no problem going out for lunch together.”

You grin “Lunch sounds great.”

#urdadssideho3 #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara fics #miguel o’harax reader #spider man 2099 #spiderman into the spiderverse #miguel spiderman

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i-trash-about-things · 9 months

Text

a.n.: this is a very self indulgent blurb about the local metalhead I've been obsessed with after ending ST. Call me a basic bitch if you want, Eddie's the coolest.

First person perspective; use of Y/N, Henderson!Reader; GN!Reader; Reader and Eddie are childhood friends; Reader is Eddie's age (20); Eddie and Chrissy survived, Vecna didn't (because fuck'im dried grape looking mf); mentions of puking; mentions of violence; fluff; slight angst; English not my first language; first time writing for Eddie, might be OOC.

word count: 4.2k

High School dances and second chances.

Some people say falling in love is hard. Aerosmith even says it's bad on the knees.

I don't know. I mean, if I recall correctly, I've only been in love once before and I never truly thought it was hard.

Maybe it's just because Eddie's easy to love. Despite what literally everyone else says, he's the easiest person to love I ever had the pleasure of meeting.

I mean, c'mon– for this feeling to have lasted all the way from 6th grade to his third senior year of high school, it couldn't have been hard.

And yet...

"It's not worth it, it's all I'm saying!"

"How it wouldn't be worth it? The worst thing that could happen is Jason will try to knock your brains out–"

"And we all know that Jason doesn't stand a chance to your personal bodyguard," I use the can of Pepsi on my hand to gesture at myself. "yours truly."

Dustin nods to my words, eyes wide as he looks between me and a surprisingly awkward Eddie.

"See! It'll be easy! Just- ripping off a bandaid!"

"You two really are siblings, huh?" He grumbles, sending me and Dustin the same done look. Dustin sputters, trying to explain himself, but my lips just curl into a familiar shit-eating grin.

"What can I say? Simplicity runs in the family."

And, to some degree, it does. Or maybe Dustin just spends way too much time with me and it's slowly catching onto my motto: "why overcomplicate things?"

Eddie sighs, glancing over his shoulder to the subject of our conversation. Chrissy Cunningham, cheerleader and queen of Hawkins High. One of the sweetest girls I've ever seen, even as she cried when I held her hair out of her face, the toilet in front of her smelling of stomach acid.

You see, while I've been in love with Eddie for most of my lifetime on this god forsaken world, Eddie has been on the same dilemma. Only this time, it was worse (or better, depending who you ask).

He's been in love with Chrissy, but instead of following my example and being her best friend, he's barely spoken two words to her, especially after the Vecna accident.

I never truly understood how that worked. Maybe it's because his situation is so different, and yet so similar, to mine. How could he love someone without speaking to them? Being their friend? Hell, how could he be even attracted to them? It's mind boggling to me.

But hey, who am I to judge? I'm way too enthralled in the process to make a fair judgement anyway. They'd revoke my law-license.

As my thoughts drifted for a second, my eyes lost in the way his bangs brushed over his eyebrows, he and Dustin keep talking in low voices.

"Dude, even if she doesn't outright laugh at me, she probably doesn't even want to look at me!"

"That's even better! That means she'll won't even remember it if you guys bump into each other again!"

"He has a point." I break out of my silence, not even noticing what I'm doing until I'm setting a cigarette between my lips. "It's literally just a high school dance. Which you ditched, twice, the last two years you didn't graduate."

My smile turns soft at the corners– because this time he did. I'm so damn proud of him.

"Point is: the worst that could happen is she'll softly turn you down. Chrissy is one of the sweetest girls I know, she won't be a bitch about it."

"Language!" Dustin extands a hand out and I grumble as I hand him a dollar. Eddie doesn't even blink at the interaction, already so used to the Henderson siblings he's not even fazed anymore. Instead, he just sighs.

"Yeah, yeah, I know... It's just–" He stuffs his face into his hands, grumbling and huffing like a child.

Cute.

Breathing in the cigarette smoke, I jump from my seat by the bleachers and walk over to Eddie. My hand finds his shoulder, squeezing for half a second, and I can only hope he can feel the warmth and care and love I have for him right now.

"Eddie."

He raises his eyes, beautiful soulful brown eyes that remind me of hot chocolate and fall, and for a long moment we just stare at each other. After that, a soft smile blooms at my lips, and he relants.

"Ugh, fine."

"Atta boy." I pat his back, chuckling as he sends me a look. Dustin let's out a sigh of relief, just happy to have this conversation over with.

It's easier for him, the person he loves loves him back, after all... Even if she's hundreds of miles away.

(I remind myself to recheck if Suzie's plane ticket is confirmed when I get home. Don't want the surprise for his birthday to be cancelled.)

On the first opportunity of getting out of this conversation, Dustin dips, saying he's gonna check out with the guy's and talk later. Soon, it's just me and Eddie by the empty gym, cigarette smoke twirling between us.

"Man..." He chuckles, passing a hand through his beautiful hair. "I can't believe I'm getting nervous about going to prom."

"I just can't believe you're going to prom. Honestly not that impressed you're nervous." And he rolls his eyes dramatically as we take our seats again.

"Oh yes, because you never were nervous before."

"And I never was." I lie through my teeth, a bad habit I've been developing the last few years.

I make a point of not mentioning how I always grow nervous to leave Hawkins to college. How I always get nervous when I come back, thinking this it'll be the time he found someone to replace my spot on his life. I mean, it isn't that hard, right? I'm just his best friend, I'm not that special. There's probably hundreds of people that would make an even better job at it than me.

"Never? In your whole entire life?" His voice both snaps me to reality and sinks me deeper into my self deprecation. I just chuckle, shaking my head with the cigarette on my lips.

"Nope."

"Not even when I almost killed your character last session?"

"Not even then."

"What about in that one presentation in sophomore year? Or when you were applying for that fancy-schamcy university of yours?"

"Nah."

He sputters, shocked. Because yeah, I'm not lying.

Because, even if the character I played all through high school died, even if my presentation sucked, even if I didn't get to the college of my dreams- he would still be my Eddie.

Now? Now I'm not so sure.

We stay silent for a while, at least until the burning of the cigarette reaches the filter and it burns my fingertips. When he breaks the silence, I almost don't notice, too deep in my own head.

"What's up with you today?"

"Hm?"

"See? That! You're so out of it!" He scoots closer to my side, pressing his legs against mine, shoulder against mine, until I can't sense nothing but him.

I wished he would do that more often.

"I'm just tired. Driving for two hours after spending a whole day in a cold ass college classroom ain't that fun, you know?"

"You're not, tho. I know you, dude, maybe more than you know yourself."

A bitter chuckle leaves my lips before I can hold it and Eddie's big, expressive and hypnotic eyes express his confusion way too well.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing, just..." I trail off, not sure what to say. He doesn't give me the time to think.

"What, you're saying I don't know you? After spending a good portion of my life with you? You think I'm that dumb?"

"I never said that, Eddie." I send him a look, one that not even I can explain. It's dark, it's piercing, it's... It's just pitiful. "Stop putting words in my mouth."

"Well it's not like you're giving me much to work with!" He groans, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest, tattoos shifting on his skin. I have to stuff my own hands in my pockets to not trace over them with my fingertips. "You've been distant."

"Have I?" I mumble, still not sure what to say so I just fiddle with the broken lid of the old Pepsi can. He takes the it away from my fingers, forcing me to look at him.

"Yes. You have." He spits out, hand on my shoulder, eyes piercing into mine. Maybe if I was stronger I could return the look, but... I'm... "Y/N."

"Yeah?"

"Talk to me. Please."

"Eddie–"

"Please."

I let out a shuddering breath, pressing my face into my hands.

"I don't know... I don't... I can't..."

He pulls me to him, until I'm not beside him but in front of him. I can't hide, not when I feel like my limbs weigh a thousand.

"Then try."

...

Words...

God, why must I have to talk? Why can't I just... Show? Like, having powers like El and being able to just project my feelings for him to see? it would be so much easier. Show something I could never put truly into words.

But haven't I been doing exactly that for the last 9 years of our lives?

I take a deep breath, eyes stinging a little.

"I'm..." My tongue feels like it's made of lead, spit feeling like acid on my lips. And I just groan out the next words. "I feel... Bad."

"...Ok. That's a start." He nods eagerly, squeezing my shoulders in a sort of awkward encouragement. "Bad for what? Did I do something wrong? Is it something from college? Family?"

"No, no- you didn't do anything." Which is only half a lie. I rub a hand down my forehead, hair falling over my eyes as I let out a heavy sigh. "It's just... This prom thing, it... It feels bad."

"Why does it feel bad?" He asks, more directly this time. Soulful brown eyes, confused. I have to turn away from them to not get lost in my train of thought.

"I don't... I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just... Regretful?"

"What? Why would you be regretful?" He keeps pushing, keeps asking, knowing me well enough I'll probably just run into a wall of jumbled up feelings and words if he stops. This guy truly knows me too much. "You had a good time at your prom night, didn't you?"

"I mean... Yeah?" I scratch the back of my head, sighing. Yeah, I did have a good time on my own prom, about three years ago. So why does the thought of him having that same fun makes my chest burn?

...

Oh.

Oh, shit.

It's because he didn't go with me.

Like he could physically see the lightbulb turn on behind my eyes, Eddie lifts an eyebrow.

"So? What's the problem?"

I bite the inside of my cheek, looking desperately for an excuse. I don't want to come out as clingy, much less jealous. I hate hate hate feeling jealous, possessive. I hate it. I don't-

"Y/N?"

"It's just–" He won't let me think of a lie. That little shit. Instead I sigh, passing a hand through my hair and looking away. "I don't know. It feels funny thinking you'll actually go this year."

And I let the half sentence linger in the air, while the last part sits just beneath my tongue: when you didn't go with me when I invited you.

"And that makes you feel... Bad? Why? That... Doesn't make any sense." He frowns, like he senses there's something I'm not telling yet. Damn him.

"Yeah, I know it doesn't." I shrug, bitting my tongue and leaning back against the bleachers seats. My arms are crossed over my chest, ankles crossed as well with my eyes staring up at the ceiling. Closed off. Distant.

If he knew me for any less time, he probably would've backed off, but sadly for me–

Suddenly I feel him leave my side, getting up from his seat, then walking to stand directly in front of me.

"Y/N. C'mon."

My normally nonchalant and relaxed expression feels way too heavy right now, my eyes shifting to look at his beat up boots with mismatched laces.

"I... Just..." I groan, passing a hand through my hair again but tugging on it like I'm trying to get my head in the game. "Promise you won't laugh. Or hate me."

He's way too used to my need for reassurance. Eddie leans down, until he's face to face with me despite the fact I'm still sat. There's that damned smirk on his lips, the one that makes me want to play with his hair and–

"I promise, I won't hate you. I must've told you that, like, a hundred times now."

"...Just... Just making sure." I clear my throat, flushing a little in embarrassment... Before letting out a sigh.

"I'm... I feel bad because... I... I'm not sure how to explain it." I play with my rings, shaking my head like a snow globe, hoping the new perspective will help. "Uhh... Remember when I graduated? 2, 3 years ago?"

"Yeah? What of it?"

"Remember I asked you to go to prom with me?" Surprisingly, his eyes light up a little, the smallest hint of a smile on his lips. So soft, so beautiful and so damn easy to fall in love with. Damn him.

"Yeah, I do. You made a whole corny ass prom-posal thing, made me go on a treasure hunt and everything."

"God, don't even talk about it." I flush harder, feeling even more embarrassed. God please just take me out. He frowns at my reaction, crossing his arms.

"What? I thought it was cute."

"Yeah, yeah, if you say so..." A grumble leaves my lips, just wanting to get to the roots of this conversation. Just get it done and over with so I can get back to loving him silently. "Point is, back then, I was actually kinda excited. I knew you didn't graduate that year, but I thought 'hey what's funnier than not passing but going to the party anyways?'. I made all these plans where we would go around playing pranks on people, wanting to make you feel excited for something but..."

I close my hands, breathing slowly.

"You backed out."

There's an unintentional dramatic pause, where I try to get used to this sense of vulnerability. It feels excruciating, like he's picking me apart with those beautiful eyes of his.

"And I understood, because of course I did. It made sense, I guess it would've been too painful. I really didn't, and still don't, hold it against you, I just..."

Looking for any kind of comfort on this awkward and vulnerable situation, I bring my knees against my chest, almost mumbling my next words.

"I just... Kinda wished we could've gone together, I guess."

And another beat of silence.

My skin tingles with the feeling of his presence a feet away from me, the way I can feel his eyes boring into my head as I nuzzle deeper into myself. I kinda feel like an armadillo right now. Or those little insects that turn into balls– what were their names again? Maybe I should make them my next tattoo.

Before I can let myself drift away, I feel him move.

He takes a step forward, crouching to meet my eyes. He looks so... Soft. I mean, he always has a certain tenderness to him, but this is... It makes my heart melt and race at the same time.

God damnit, Eddie.

"You actually wanted to go to prom with me?" He looks so sweet asking that, the vulnerability in his eyes matching mine. I chuckle, his question making me frown in confusion.

"Yes? Duh?? I thought going through all the work of setting up a chessy treasure hunt would be clear enough, dude."

"No, but–" It's his turn to let out a small laugh, eyes boring into mine like it's the first time he's ever seeing me. "I thought I was just... A pity invite. Like you were trying to make me feel better by inviting me instead of going with someone you actually wanted to go and dance and be cheesy with."

The sheer thought makes me pause, the confusion and disbelief he would ever think that making me feel a whole less awkward about my little moment of openness.

I set my knees back down, frowning at nothing in particular before a confused giggle leaves my lips. My eyes finally turn back to his, and it's like a spark of fire flies up in that.

"What??? Dude, no??? I genuinely wanted to go with you! I was looking for matching suits and everything!"

The confession would probably make me blush at some other point, but I just laugh right now– not noticing the way his own eyes widened and cheeks turn warm.

"Plus, who else would I invite?? You were the only person I remotely liked at that point in high school, and not only that you were– you are my best friend! I wouldn't want anyone else!"

WOW OK– Back off a little, Y/N, we're going a bit too much into the too-honest category. Slowly back away into besties again, or else he'll finally catch on the fact you've been in love with him for a good portion of your life. Beep beep beep–

He doesn't give me that chance.

Before I know what's happening, his hand is on mine and he's pulling me off the bleachers and to him– but we fall onto the shiny floor of Hawkins High gym.

He doesn't seem to mind the fact I'm crushing him a little, right now. All I can feel is his face on the crook of my neck, arms around my shoulders with our legs tangled together.

"Jesus– A warning, Eds–"

"I love you."

...

what

My mouth moves before my brain does.

"I love you too."

And for the first time, I'm thankful for that.

Because, after the split second of panic, I let out a melancholic chuckle, nuzzling into his hair.

He loves me, like a best friend does to the other.

Not like I do.

Not like Orpheus loved Eurydice, not like Darcy loved Elizabeth.

Not like I do to him.

And I've made my peace with that, so I just hug him back, feeling my heart break and race at the same time.

"No, Y/N–" He pushes me off of him, just enough so he can look at me. I have to plant my forearms by the side of his head to not fall off. He looks so pretty beneath me like this, hair sprawled around like a halo, cheeks stretched into the smile I fell for. "You don't have any idea how much that meant to me. I'm serious."

"Well, it's the truth." A soft chuckle leaves me, and I shrug. "You're literally the only one I want to go to prom with, why'd you think I ended up going alone?"

"What, you didn't had a backup date?"

"What?? No, I didn't have a "backup date", ew. What I mean is I did have offers, you know? A few people asked me to prom."

"What! You– You never told me that!" He grabs me by the shoulders, and if I wasn't planted so firmly over him, he might have shook me like trying to get me back to my senses. "How could you never tell me that, Henderson! I'm your best friend, God damnit!"

"I didn't think it was that important!"

"How could you think it wasn't?! It's a big damn deal someone tried to take you away from me!"

God damnit Eddie stop saying stuff like that-

"No one could ever take me away from you, you know that."

...Maybe I need to stop saying stuff like that.

"Yeah, but still! Who was it?? Was it someone I know?"

"Does it matter? They already graduated! We probably don't even recognize them anymore!" I can't help but laugh, chuckling as my hair falls around my face like a shaggy curtain. "Plus, it's not like it's gonna make a difference, the guy I actually wanted to go with didn't go with me."

He stops at that, hands weakening their hold on my shoulders. I immediately regret saying that.

"Oh. Right, yeah. I'm..."

"Eddie, hey, it's fine." I immediately jump up to reassure him, shaking my head and sending him a soft smile. "I really don't blame you for not going. Like I said, it must have been a bitch to not pass then have to go to prom. Really, I get it."

"I mean, yeah, but..." He looks away from me, tilting his head to the side. His bangs shift, hiding one of his eyes. "You were so excited. I never thought I would see you happy to go to a dance, much less a school one."

A puff of a laugh leaves my lips. My arms are starting to hurt from holding myself up like this.

"Yeah, it was a surprise to me too. But hey, it's fine, it's in the past. I had my turn at prom, now it's yours! And you're going with Chrissy!"

I mean, he didn't invite her yet, but– C'mon, who could say no to those eyes?

Weirdly, he grimaces at my words, almost flinching at the mention of the cheerleader's name.

"Yeah... Chrissy."

I tilt my head to the side, frowning, probably looking like a confused puppy in his perspective.

"You still nervous about inviting her?"

"No, it's not that."

"Well then, what is?" He glances back to me, before hiding further into his hair. Even with my shoulders straining from effort, I gently raise one of my hands and brush his bangs away from his eyes. His skin feels weirdly warm beneath my fingers. "C'mon, Eds, talk to me."

It's rare seeing him like this and it's eating me up inside. Normally I'm the first person he runs to for help, the first that gets him out of trouble– like when I helped him get Chrissy back to normal and out of Vecna's clutches, or when he had to hide in a boathouse for days when he was accused of assaulting her and breaking both her legs (despite her claims of his innocence.). I refused to leave his side for more than 10 minutes and got fiercely protective when we came back from the Upside down.

Honestly I have no idea how he didn't catch on the fact I'm in love with him in all that time. Steve kept saying I looked like a feral guard dog everytime anyone got remotely close to him.

"I... Just realized something." He mumbles, effectively waking me up from my wondering. Slowly, gently, he pushes me back and sits up. Still not meeting my gaze.

"What is it?" I give him space, despite the fact all I want is to hold him down again and force his eyes to look at mine. I feel like I'm drowning in worry at this point. Damnit, I shouldn't have said anything about prom. Or about Chrissy. Or– I don't know, maybe I shouldn't have ever opened my mouth. I was never good with words.

"I, uh..." He fiddles with his own fingers for a moment, before freezing. Suddenly, a smile opens at his lips–

And he raises his head, eyes finally on mine.

And it takes my breath away.

"I just got an idea."

Oh boy, here we go.

"Nothing good ever came out of those five words before."

"Oh, but that's where your wrong, my dearest angel!" He almost jumps up from the ground, looking absolutely ecstatic. "I just had the best realization of my life! I don't think I've ever had a better idea!"

Without even asking, he pulls me up- with enough force to slam my face into his collarbone.

"Ow–"

"Point is–Sorry– I need to go. Gotta a lot of planning ahead of me!" He practically giggles, pressing a kiss to the crown of my hair and skipping off into the gyms exit.

All I can do is watch him. Watch his messy and unruly hair disappear behind those doors, his smirk and excitement the last thing I see before he finally runs off to do... Something?

I must have stayed there, frozen, for at least half a minute, just staring at the void with our conversation rerolling on my head.

"What the hell just happened?" My voice echoes back to me and the gym suddenly feels a lot bigger.

With a confused but half amused sigh, I grab my bag and empty can of Pepsi off the ground and slowly leave the school.

Well, whatever that was, at least he looks excited. For me that's all that matters.

A soft, but slightly sad, smile crawls up my lips at that thought.

It's funny how many times I say those words to myself. "As long as he's happy." And it's surprising how many times I actually mean it.

A lot of people say one of the worst pains is unrequited love, that one sided pining that can last years and years.

I don't know. I honestly kinda like it.

This feeling.

It's like playing super spy, like I used to play with Dustin and the kids when we were younger. I know a secret no one else does– or at least he doesn't. It's fun. It hurts, sure, but it's fun. It's playful and fun and easy.

Easy like loving him.

And when I say I'm content of just being by his side, even if he doesn't see me the way I see him...

I mean it.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things x reader #reader insert #hmmm i feel so damn cringey for posting this tbh but I'm also so proud of it #actually had a lot of fun writing this #like a lot of fun #hope y'all five people still in the stranger things fandom like it #+++ late tag:#HD&SC #trash's writing tag o/

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devoureddreaa · 1 month

Text

“true story”

so...eternal sunshine by ariana grande came out, and true story is top 3. (go stream!!! or listen to get the story. either way, it's getting streams :P). but we dropping back 2 back bangers, that's where it's @. hope you enjoooooy!!!

this is a true story about all the lies, he fantasied about you and him.

this is a true story about all the games..you know he plays.

you and megumi were basically, the star couple of your high school. everyone knew him, and everyone knew you; and everybody thought you two were perfect for each other.

and that’s what it was, it was perfect.

until it wasn’t.

until pretty boy here got way too ahead of himself like his father, and tried to play two ball games with one player. that player being himself.

he’d say he’d be out with friends, but he was actually out messing around around with a cheerleader.

megumi’s studying for a major test he has in a week? nah, he’s at a party making out with some girl in the corner.

meanwhile you were at home, thinking your perfect boyfriend was doing what he was telling you.

and when you found out the truth? it hurt, hell yea. but you really didn’t see the point in crying or being hurt, mostly due to the fact that you didn’t do much wrong. and there probably wasn’t anything you could do to prevent it. so, you just removed him on everything..without explanation.

staying with a cheater ain’t gonna happen to you.

it wasn’t what you wanted, nor was it what you needed.

“y/n, you cheated on megumi?”

“what?” you had just gotten to school, and you didn’t even get to rest your ass in the plastic chair before nobara hit you with that jarring sentence. “what are you talking about.?”

“he told everyone that you cheated on him, and that’s why he broke up with you.” your friend shrugged, “i dunno, none of my business.”

your eyebrows furrowed and your fist clenched. no fucking way he was doing this. your head turned to look over to see that megumi was sitting else where surrounded by his friend.

being consoled…

your feet moved before your brain could, and you were on your way over to him.

“yea man, she—”

“you little shit!” you grabbed megumi by the shirt collar and yanked him out of his seat. he could clearly see you were fuming. “you really going around telling people i cheated on you?!”

“cause you did.” megumi chuckled, “no need to get mad at the truth.”

you perked your head up and saw that the entire class was looking at the two of you. some even recording. you scoffed, and dropped megumi back down to where he originally sat. you realized what was happening, he was making you look like the bad guy by getting a reaction outta you in front of everyone. so even if you were to tell your side of the story, the true side, nobody would even try to believe you.

if he wanted you to play the villian, then you’d do that.

“i know how this goes, fushiguro.”

roll the cameras please! cause once the days started to roll, the lies that came out of megumi’s mouth got even more outlandish. it was like people were paying to see this, to see the scene that megun

“yea, she was a slut.”

“she fucked everyone on the football team, maybe even the basketball team with the way y/n is..”

“i doubt she’s a virgin, with the amount of guys i found in her phone.”

the shit almost made you wanna drop out of school. denying it didn’t work whatsoever, it was like everyone was brainwashed. it got to the point where you just started to accept it, and fed into his lies. you played whatever part you needed him too, and that came with spinning the story a bit.

“you’d find somebody else too, gumi’s head game was weak.”

“why would i stay with him when he fucks with cheerleaders? he probably contracted a disease.”

“eh, yuuji’s lowkey better anyways.”

the minute you started talking back, the minute megumi got his balls in a twist.

you closed your locker to look over and see one irritated megumi, “what?”

“what? don’t ‘what’ me, y/n! yknow what you’re doing!” megumi was one laid back person so seeing him start to raise his voice and his face get kinda red, it was laughable.

you shrugged, “doing what? playing my role?”

“what role—”

“look, if your gonna get mad at the truth. you should watch where you lay, fushiguro.”

you thought doing what he wanted would make him feel better. but it obviously didn’t, and it confused you, but you didn’t stop cause he told you to. you were fine being the one he loved to hate, megumi was bothered..and you weren’t.

the next girl he got with (and cheated on), he got caught. no matter how much lying he tried to do, the proof was concrete and undeniable. you explain your story at all, you knew what was true and what wasn’t.

everybody wanted to believe what they heard, no what they were told.

clap it up, clap it up. ya girl hasn’t disappeared for a month, no need for applause! i’m here all night! (LMFOOOAOA). but, love ariana. love, eternal sunshine. go stream it. hope you enjoyed, love ya baaaaiii!!! (if you saw any typos no you didn’t!!!)

#jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk fluff #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujustu kaisen #x reader #fanfic #fushiguro x y/n #jjk fushiguro #fushiguro x reader #jujutsu kaisen fushiguro #megumi fushiguro #megumi x reader #jjk megumi #jujutsu megumi #jujutsu kaisen megumi #megumi x you #megumi x y/n

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