One of the few books documenting the hotwifing lifestyle. David Ley - Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them.
Short summary:
Hotwifing couples have figured out a script that uses neurochemical triggers, psychological responses, biological responses, and other complex interplays between the different parts of our bodies and minds to enhance and maintain high levels of sexual excitement in their marriage.
From the book:
There are many reasons and causes for these couples's pursuit of this lifestyle (hotwifing). One common effect persists across these couples, that of heightened sexual pleasure within their own relationship. They have stumbled, unconsciously, upon the use of complex methods to enhance and maintain high levels of sexual excitement in their marriage. Without knowing the means, only the cause of the effect, these couples have developed a sophisticated dance that uses biological and psychological methods to increase the husband's desire for his wife, and his sexual performance, and for the wife to enhance and pursue the depths of her own sexual capacity. They have unconsciously hit upon a script that uses neurochemical triggers, psychological responses such as jealousy, biological responses such as increased sperm production, and other complex interplays between the different parts of our bodies and minds. This script works from the principals and tools that are in our genes and bodies, our psyches and our hearts, all designed and intended to increase the chances that we will mate, fall in love, have children, raise them together, and die together one day. But, these couples have found ways to turn these tools, these tricks of our bodies and minds, completely upon their heads. This lifestyle offers a real-life laboratory, in which one can observe the influence and effects of the many, many biological, social, relational and cognitive mechanisms that are interwoven within the fabric of sexuality within a marriage.
This blog is about to get very confusing because I am rooting for the Stars but passionate about the VGK goalies, and rooting for the Canes (or at least not NOT rooting for the Canes…) but passionate about Matthew Tkachuk
Anyway time for chaos
Our kitchen whiteboard stands at:
(Note that the blue *s and orange xs had to do with my brackets not with my allegiances, just want to be super clear that there was never a time I was rooting for VGK 😝)
thinkin about how when i was a kid on the Warrior Cats Forum i was writing an AU fic where Snowkit lived and so was someone else around the same time, but their fic was clearly far better and more popular than mine (they were likely older than me as well). but when we discovered each other, they were incredibly kind and encouraging to me regardless. in general my heart is very warm thinking of the older kids on that site who were so kind to my weird, awful writing 🥺
Women have a fierce sexuality. It’s best for the couple when the wife and husband embrace this fierce sexuality.
In some cases women deter from wanting sex, they play coy diminishing their fierce sexuality. Overtime she grows bored with sex for the sex she is having isn’t the type of sex she truly desires. “..her level of eroticism is more developed than his (her partner) and she’s afraid to show it. Either she’s avoiding being judged by him or she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings by emasculating him.”
“Women should not feel ashamed about sex and should demand what they sexually desire. Sex is one of the most beautiful and extraordinary ways you can connect with a person and feel loved. It is also a wonderful activity to share pleasure and reach ecstasy through our minds and bodies. Passing up that opportunity to protect your partner or from what other people might think of you isn’t worth it, consider what you are losing for yourself”
In other cases, men are intimidated by their female partner’s ferocious sexuality. The man shrinks from intimidation, losing his sexual libido.
“Men need to acknowledge their limitations and try to surpass them rather than avoid them. Sex is not a competition or a performance, but a shared activity that requires you to take care of yourself and your partner to enjoy the moment. NOT TO IMPRESS SOMEONE!”