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glitxhwayventeen · 1 year

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The Confused One

Ten

Characters: Ten x male reader

Warnings: anxiety to the maximum, questioning of sexuality i guess, controlling parents, existential crisis mentions, sex mentions/implications but nothing too serious, bad influence Ten, mentions of cheating (though the couple doesn’t really care for each other anyways so🤷🏻‍♀️)

Author’s Note: I changed his mate like 10+ times before i actually wrote anything for him because i kept forgetting to write the story line down so cut me some slack on this one pls and thanks. Also let me know how you feel about a male reader. I created his personality after a nepobaby i knew growing up

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Watch It All Burn Masterlist

The Confused One: Part 2

Mostly just anxiety. Not even 🥀 or 🤪. Just pure plain and simple nerves and butterflies all over the place with some sex talk

Bold= Korean Dialogue Italics= Thoughts Pink= Cantonese Red=Mandarin Green=English

Tag List-

You weren’t a partier. No, in fact you were rather a homebody. Most of the time, people couldn’t pay you to leave the comfort of your tiny studio apartment. So you weren’t really sure how you found yourself surrounded by a bunch of sweaty, smelly, drunken bodies flinging themselves around you on a makeshift dance floor.

Though you supposed that statement in itself was also inaccurate. You knew exactly why you found yourself in your current predicament. You just weren’t sure what possessed you to actually fall for another guy in the first place. Let alone a guy who was everything you swore never to be.

See you were the quiet type, some would even call you sheltered or protected. Not that you had really chosen that life or personality for yourself. No, your life and personality had been handcrafted for you in childhood by your overprotective parents.

You were the only son and child of a wealthy CEO and a successful plastic surgeon. You never wanted for anything. You never needed something they couldn’t provide. You were set for life since they had a set aside a huge trust fund for you to live on when you got older.

Truthfully, you didn’t even need to attend the university you were going to to gain a bachelors in your chosen major of biochemistry. But not going to university would’ve gone against the well thought out plan your parents had carefully laid out for you. They had all your future major life decisions mapped out for you. Whether it was the housing layout they decided you needed or something as simple as the color of the suit you’d wear at your wedding, everything was set up for you down to the last detail.

You just had to go through the motions and follow through with the plan using the extreme disciplinary measures and the self control techniques that had been drilled into your head when you were young. It seemed simple enough: Do what you were told and you’d live happily ever after.

There seemed to be no way you could possibly fuck it all up. But you did.

Though if someone looked at it from your perspective, there was no way you could be fully to blame for it.

Because the very university your parents picked out for you to attend was where you met him. The extracurricular they signed you up for, tutoring others, to boost your after college resume as high as it would go lead you to your first meeting with him.

The housing complex they had you living in was only down the street from the party spots he frequented. And the very future wife they had arranged for you since you’d practically been born seemed to be someone you had virtually no problem cheating on given that you eventually found yourself pressed up against his bedroom wall while he kissed down your neck and had his merry way with you.

It all started on a random Tuesday afternoon. You hadn’t originally felt any different. You woke up with your chosen girlfriend of 3 years beside you. You poured your usual cup of morning tea and made yourself a heart healthy breakfast. You drove to school an hour earlier than your intended class to start your typical tutoring session with a pupil of yours, Yangyang.

Only instead of his constant backpack for a companion sitting on the seat beside him as he waited for you to show, there sat an actual human being. And a rather cute one in your opinion at that.

“Hey Yangyang!” You cluelessly beamed at the younger boy while trying to sneak another glance at the boy next to him, “Who’s your friend?”

And instead of your dongsaeng replying with his usual goofy giggle, the raven haired male quickly stood to introduce himself.

“I’m Ten. You must be ____.” The boy, Ten apparently, smoothly reached his hand out for you to shake while staring at you with starry eyes.

Part of you wanted to run away in the opposite direction because of how frighteningly handsome he was. But the more rational part of you knew that would be very suspicious and strange and would probably lose you your tutoring student.

So you pulled up your metaphoric big boy pants and reached to shake his hand right back as quickly as your brain would allow you to as it began glitching.

Though, you couldn’t help the no doubt obvious gulp your body automatically let out as you attempted to gain your vocal footing again, “Y-Yep. That’s me.”

And as you felt your palm come into contact with the guy stationed in front of you’s hand, you felt a nonexistent fire spark up your skin.

“Yangyang here’s told us a lot about you and what a great tutor you are,” Ten spoke with an almost sinister grin, “and you must really be a pretty good one too cause i haven’t seen anyone else actually get him to do his homework.”

Then the stranger in front of you let out one of the most harmonious and beautiful laughs you’d ever heard as your student smacked his side out of embarrassment.

“That’s not true!” Yangyang insisted, “____ is a great tutor. But I can do my homework just fine without the extra motivation, thank you very much. I just need a little help with the teaching part sometimes is all. So don’t listen to him ___ hyung.”

“Whatever you say kid,” Ten tauntingly reassured him as he turned to you as if he was privately conversing with you via eye contact.

But just when you finally got the courage to look the pretty guy directly in the eye, you could’ve sworn you saw some color in them that was definitely not a natural eye color surrounding his pupils.

Though before you could ask any questions, Yangyang nudged him in the arm to gain his attention. And whatever was said their private little conversation they had in what you could only assume was Yangyang’ native mandarin, Ten jolted in place and politely excused himself with the excuse of needing to get going and not wanting to interrupt your session any further.

And before you could even say your goodbye pleasantries back, he dashed off towards the library doors with a quick ‘nice to meet you’ being thrown over his shoulder.

Once the initial awkwardness of the interaction wore off, you quickly went to work and began your usual tutoring session with the Taiwanese boy as promised. But in the back of your mind throughout the whole hour you had laid aside for your teaching, you couldn’t help but wonder when you’d get to see his lovely friend again.

The wonder confused you for a multitude of reasons, the first being you had never actually been attracted to anyone before, let alone some random guy you had quite literally just met. And the second reason was because having a weird guy crush on the boy wasn’t part of your programming.

You weren’t allowed to go outside of the plan that had been put in place far before your birth was anticipated. Your mother and father would have simultaneous heart attacks if they thought you entertained the idea for even a split second.

But some unhinged part of you just couldn’t stop thinking about the mysteriously handsome stranger.

“Boy do you look lost,” Ten managed to chuckle out as he stepped foot in the kitchen you found yourself hiding out from the other party goers in.

He easily maneuvered his way over to your place on the counter after pulling a beer out of the friend he seemed so familiar with.

You let out a nervous laugh back out of embarrassment and the small proximity between you both, “Yeah I um- was supposed to be meeting a friend here but they uh… made themselves known a little later than expected.”

Flirting was never your thing either. You were bad at it, anyone who even looked at you could tell based on your naturally shy demeanor.

But you had a drink and you felt the liquid courage flowing through your veins and decided to try it out, even though you knew it was a bad idea.

“Oh,” Ten slyly smirked at you while leaning in dangerously close to your lips, “Is that all I am to you? A friend?“

And once again, the alcohol running through your body made you feel brave enough to do a stupid, stupid thing.

You quickly let out a breathy ‘no’ and finally brought the painful tension between the two of you to an end by fully closing the small gap between the both of your lips.

Normally, Ten didn’t go with Yangyang to his actual study sessions since he figured the kid was old enough to handle it himself. But after finding out how much his younger brother was struggling to come to terms with having to share his little sister with another one of their packmates, he figured checking up on him every once and a while couldn’t hurt.

So he offered to come into the library of their shared university to help get him situated under the false pretense of ‘having too many books to carry’ instead of just dropping him off at the double doors and waiting for his own classes to start about half an hour later.

However, once Ten got inside, he could tell the younger boy was feeling a bit nervous. It was the first time seeing his tutor after their school’s break and he could only guess the boy must’ve been stressing out over the amount of work he was gonna be given to make up for lost time. So he decided to stay and sit with him until his tutor got there to be sure the guy knew who he was dealing with to help put him at ease.

But what he wasn’t expecting when you walked through the door was to have the entire world instantly fall away from him, leaving you as the only thing keeping him chained to the earth. And you were unbelievably perfect.

Your perfectly buttoned nose made him want to melt to the floor. Your uncallused hands and geekish clothing showed him you probably hadn’t once done anything other than be the bookworm he already knew you were from his conversations with Yangyang that were centered around you. Your disheveled hair and cherry red lips told him you were already flustered to the max after having only just made your tutoring session with him on time.

Ten wasn’t sure he ever really understood, or even wanted for that matter, what a mate really was. Sure he knew all his brothers had imprinted. And of course he knew they were real because of the multiple sisters he had gained over his time with the pack. But he had never expected to find one for himself.

He was a partier. The wild child most parents told their kids was a perfect example of what not to be. So long as it was the weekend and he didn’t have to be a responsible student or loving kindergarten teacher, he did pretty much whatever he wanted (or whoever he wanted for that matter) whenever he wanted with little regard for anything else other than to have a good time.

He drank, did the occasional recreational drug if he felt like it, dressed in dark sharp clothing to fit his nightlife, and slept around for as long as he could remember as often as he could. He figured having a mate just wasn’t in the cards for him because of the lifestyle he chose to have, which was something he had come to terms with long ago.

But here you were, living breathing proof that he was wrong, dead wrong.

The only problem was, he was sure he was gonna mess it up. He was probably someone you considered scary by your own set of personal standards. You were a goody goody with a long term girlfriend and were set to be your graduating year’s valedictorian. Your grades were as straight as you were and your lifestyle was so far from his own, he was sure you’d mini vomit in your mouth at the sight of him in the same vicinity as you. You’d never go for a guy like him.

Still, you were his mate. And that fact was easily confirmed by his ever racing heart speeding up tenfold the closer you got to them, which was something the young maknae was quick to pick up on.

Whether Ten thought he had a real shot with you or not, he was gonna try. Sure he’d never thought he’d get you, but he had to attempt to after all. He’d literally die without you.

So when you finally reached the table where you’d be doing your studying, he figured what better way to try to show you he was interested in you than a little bit of flattery. He introduced himself with a handshake and tried his best to keep his cool even though the minimal skin to skin contact he had with you for those few seconds set a bonfire alight inside him.

Then he tried to break the ice a little by mentioning something about you being a great tutor to Yangyang, which would end up being a mistake. Because if the small touch to your delicate hand had made his inner wolf crazy, the light blush that appeared across your face at the small compliment made him want to jump on you and smear kisses all over you, which was something he obviously could not just do having just met you.

But before he could say anything else, Yangyang gave him a little nudge to his side. When Ten turned his attention to the boy he saw that he was raising his eyebrows up and down, a silent signal used by most in the pack to let another know they had started to burn through their colored contacts that hid their true nature.

It made Ten panic internally. Of course he knew you’d eventually find out his secret, but he didn’t want it to be in the middle of the university library surrounded by a bunch of strangers simply because he couldn't control himself.

So he hurriedly let out a goodbye and dashed out the door, careful to keep his eyes fixated on the ground as much as he could till he got to his car and could go home.

Sure the interaction wasn’t everything he had hoped for, but it was enough to get the conversation started. Which was all he could ask for given the circumstances.

Little by little, he started seeing you more. He’d rearranged his schedule so he could catch a glimpse of you on campus more often. He’d always have his ear to the ground listening for someone mentioning you or your girlfriends name so he could keep tabs on you both. He’d even gone so far as to actually befriending your girlfriend, who, much to his surprise, wasn’t nearly as horrible as he’d thought she’d be.

Sure she was a stickler for the rules and always had to keep up her own appearances with her naturally styled makeup and ironed prep school girl clothes, but she actually was… pretty cool.

Ten had already known who she was and knew of her activities on campus simply because he shared a few classes with her. She was a psych major and he was majoring in early childhood development, so their paths crossed a lot.

He already knew your girlfriend didn’t like to talk to anyone she didn’t think was worth her time based on how seriously she took her class schedule. So when she responded to him in their shared psychology class when he asked her to explain what the teacher’s lecture answer meant in an attempt to get her to speak to him, he was pleasantly caught off guard with her willingness to help him out. She knew he was a foreigner and she didn’t want him to unjustly suffer in his class just because he might not be 100% fluent in current like she was as a native.

That’s how he got her talking to him and soon enough, they almost became sort of… friends. Ten definitely knew her other friends didn’t like that she was associating with someone as ‘lowly’ as himself, but she didn’t seem to care. In fact, she didn’t seem to care much at all about what anyone thought of her.

As the days passed, he learned that she was someone who stood up for others a lot more than standing up for herself. Ten watched over and over as her friends seemed to make decisions that hurt her personally, but she never said anything to them. Yet when she saw one of her friends make fun of a student with less money, Ten watched from the sidelines as she had to practically be held back from slapping said friend for being so rude to an innocent stranger. Unlike many in your world, your girlfriend wasn’t one to judge others based on looks but rather how they treated others.

Ten also figured out rather quickly that she too tutored others in her spare time like you, something he asked her to help him with to gain more knowledge about you and what your lives looked like together. Except unlike you, she did it because she wanted to, not because her parents forced her to.

But that didn’t mean her parents didn’t force other things on her, like you.

According to her ranting during one of his study sessions with her, neither of you had wanted to be together in the first place. It was something your parents had decided when you were both young without consulting either one of you, but you were both too quiet and timid to say anything against it.

Though, you’d both worked out a harmonious way of living together by the time you had started college and had become good friends to try and cope with your situation. And that’s how you found yourselves practically silently engaged in the present.

It turned out your girlfriend was quite a nice girl who was just playing a part she had been assigned since she’d been born. He almost felt sort of bad that he had imprinted on her boyfriend and was using her to get an in with you. But what else could he do? You were his mate and you were both clearly miserable with the life that had been shoved on you. He figured he would just be doing you both a favor by trying to split you up and get you to be with him.

And once that thought process had been established in his mind, he decided to up the stakes.

Ten had started to drop Yangyang off to every tutoring session so he could speak with you for a few spare moments, even if it made him late to his own classes. He wanted to get to know you personally, not just from the odd little snippets of information he’d get from your girlfriend.

He figured he’d just make some sweet small talk to get more familiar with you. Then after he’d done that for an appropriate amount of times, he’d eventually move to becoming friendly enough to ask for your number and get you comfortable being around him alone. Finally, he’d eventually make his move, at least that was his plan originally. But when he saw you walk in with what was almost certainly bed head and yesterday's clothes from what was no doubt a long night of cramming for your biology exam Yangyang had mentioned you would have as soon as his tutoring was done, that idea went out the window.

As you came and rushed up to the table with a hurried apology for not being on time once more and said your pleasantries, Ten could barely comprehend the two of you were even in the same building. He was in total awe of you, he figured he was probably even staring at you like some sort of love struck idiot. But he couldn’t help it. You just looked so cute.

Your soft and messy hair only accentuated your already chiseled and perfect features. Your clothes hung even closer to your body than they had the day before because they hadn’t been properly washed or ironed and seemed to lay over every crease of your delicate body. And to top it off, you smelt even more like the scent that had recently become his favorite thing in the whole world after having met you, old books and cinnamon, because you were probably trying to overcompensate for the lack of fresh clothes by coating yourself in your cologne.

So when your next set of worried words about potentially failing your upcoming exam left him an opening, no one could really blame Ten for what he did next.

“Well if your exam doesn’t go so well, I know of a few ways to help lessen the blow.” Ten sleekly smiled up at you, much to your and Yangyang’s sudden shock.

You had to clear the nervous spit that had lodged itself in your throat before you asked him what he meant.

“I just mean there’s a few… unconventional ways of relieving stress and frustration that you’re probably not used to.” The button nosed boy finished joking just in time for his younger packmate to nudge him in the side as a warning to tread carefully.

If the statement the attractive guy said hadn’t lit your cheeks on fire, then him having you unlock your phone so he could put his contact information in surely did.

“Call me if you need to vent out your frustration from your test you’re sure you’ll fail by hitting up a party sometime. Or if you ever just want to go to one really. One might help you loosen up a little and forget everything troubling you ____.” He winked before handing you your phone back with a flare and leaving you and his friend to get to your tutoring session.

Not that that was ever gonna be easy after you had the interaction you had. You weren’t the best at interacting with people who weren’t as bland as they were dull, so you weren’t really sure what to make of the little conversation.

Was he just trying to get you to quit yammering about how worried you were about your exam? Was he flirting with you? Or was he simply trying to be nice and help you out?

It seemed like a thousand things and possibilities were running through your mind every second. You couldn’t focus, something you were sure was evident to the younger boy you were trying to teach, though he was at least kind enough not to comment on your lack of awareness.

After what felt like forever, your tutoring ended and your exam began, something that also felt like it took forever to accomplish, but you finished.

However, now you were left with a choice, one you weren’t sure if you should even be considering: Message Ten that you want to party or don’t and pretend the conversation never happened.

You weren’t sure of his intentions, you didn’t understand what he had meant by his sudden invitation to contact him. And you weren’t sure why you were having such a difficult time deciding whether or not to take him up on his offer. You could go to the party and most likely have nothing happen, you could not go and have your usual routine continue. Or, maybe… just maybe, you could go and have something you’d secretly been dreaming of happen.

Which was stupid of you to think. You were in a relationship, you were committed to your plan. However, it seemed like each time you saw Ten, you were becoming more and more attracted to him. More attracted than you had ever been to your sort of fiance/future wife.

You liked to consider yourself a loyal guy, one who would never willingly hurt someone else, and a good person. So you couldn’t really explain why you had suddenly pulled your phone out of your pocket, or why you found yourself quickly unlocking it and clicking on Ten’s contact.

But what you really couldn’t understand was why you started messaging him telling him you had failed your exam and needed to let loose.

You had gotten a 96% on your exam. So you weren’t sure what you were thinking. It was a bad idea. A very very bad idea that had your head spinning in all sorts of directions and made your heart yearn in a way you weren’t sure it ever had.

When he touched you, it felt like the whole world lit itself on fire. When he kissed you, you felt all the oxygen being sucked out of your lungs. You knew it was a bad decision to go to the party. Of course you knew that. But if being bad meant you were able to feel as good as Ten made you feel, you never wanted to be good again.

He knew he should feel guilty, in his head he knew that. No good person would try to breakup a relationship just to get with another person. Ten did know that. And if you were genuinely happy with your life the way it was, he’d leave well enough allow and not bother trying to get with you to keep you happy. But you were miserable in your life. You had to have been.

You had a girlfriend you didn’t love, a major you loathed, and a social life you hated. How could he not do what he could to try and get you to be happy by potentially being with him? He couldn’t live with himself if he let you stay stagnant. You deserved better than that.

And that’s exactly what he planned on showing you as he made you cry out his name all night long.

(Last Edited 1/26/23)

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limjaeseven · 2 years

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Flying to You

Pairing: Kun X Ten

Genre: Angst, Romance, WW2!au

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 4,191

Summary: Kun has dreamt of flying high among the clouds all his life. Things take a turn though, when the war breaks out and he's forced to leave his own plane for a fighter jet.

Warning(s): Major character death, implied smut, mention of war related casualties, mention of corporal punishment

[a/n]: Written as part of the Ghibli Collab hosted by the one and only @toikiii. Thanks for proof reading this, dae! This fic was inspired by the movie 'The Wind Rises'.

Travelling to London was not something Kun had ever thought he’d get the opportunity to do. The trip was slow but it gave the man enough time to ponder over his plight.

Kun had grown up in a small village, where his main form of entertainment was a book about planes that his uncle had brought for him from the city. He spent his waking hours memorising every word in the book, engraving the drawings in his brain, and spent those he slept dreaming of flying those beautiful machines high in the air.

He was never alone on these fantastic adventures, there’d always be a lady by his side, some twenty years of age, one he’d never seen before. “Concentrate, Kun, your focus is drifting. One mistake and it’s a one way ticket to hell, you know that,” she’d remind him when he’d let himself get lost in the scenery around him.

Kun knew he was dreaming, but those dreams felt so real, sometimes he wondered if he was wrong about the difference between reality and his imagination. There was always a feeling of disappointment when he’d wake up, waiting for the moment he could go back and enjoy the open fields and vast oceans from the sky.

Kun’s father wasn’t the nicest man he knew but he did fund his education without qualms, which he could never be grateful enough for. Getting an engineering degree wasn’t easy, but he managed to get through it. His dream of flying only became greater as he studied, having gotten the opportunity to actually see some in real life and study them.

His actual opportunity didn’t come until two years after he’d graduated, when one of his co-workers shared that he knew the owner of a private airfield who gave lessons. The fees were exorbitant, and despite saving every penny Kun could, it wasn’t enough. He felt bad asking his mom, but she only smiled, spoke to his dad and returned with the money he needed.

“Hands go there and there,” The instructor showed him on the third day of training. He’d run him down on all the basics on the days prior, and was actually showing Kun how to put that knowledge to practice. The cockpit was small, barely enough for the two of them, but without even having left the ground, Kun felt at home.

Once they’d completed a tour of the plane, the instructor told him to hop in, promising him his first ride. Kun could feel himself buzzing as he sat down behind the man, fastening himself into the seat and bracing himself for what was to come.

The taxiing process was nerve-wracking, as Kun felt every hair on his body stand on end. The instructor threw him a thumbs up to signal that they were taking off before the plane began picking up speed. The feeling of his body being forced into his seat was grounding to Kun as the plane left the tarmac, pushing them full speed forward into the vast skies.

Kun has his eyes glued to the window that showed the world outside shrink rapidly. The clouds felt tangible for the first time in his life, not mere swathes of white painted on the endless horizon. He could barely process the words his instructor spoke, his mind trying to make sure this wasn’t another dream.

When it was time to land, Kun wished he could stay up in the air forever. He swore in that moment to spend every spare moment of his life doing this, regardless of what came in his way. Work would fly by as he thought of himself in that cockpit again, this time with his hands on the controls, floating through the air. His instructor could see the passion in his eyes and kept it burning as he guided Kun through his training, and before he knew it, Kun had a licence.

Flying became an escape for Kun after that, when work was hard or he was missing his mother, he would rush to the airbase to pull a helmet on his head and set off into the infinite skies above him. Things were fine for a while, the dreams of flying had ceased because Kun was able to fulfil them in his waking hours, but then all hell broke loose.

Everyone knew the war was impending but it still surprised people when it finally broke out. The military was conscripting able-bodied men and Kun knew his father would never forgive him if he didn’t serve, so he was amongst the first to enrol in the wartime efforts. Basic training was short and brutal, a cruelly abridged regimen to get the men into shape and out onto the battlefield.

Training had sucked the life out of Kun, but he knew that this was where he was supposed to be. His father may not have been the nicest man he knew, but he was deeply patriotic, and had instilled a sense of responsibility in Kun, one that made him strive for the betterment of those around him.

By the end of the month, he was going through one evaluation after the next, before he was redirected to the air squadron as a consequence of his licence. The deployment was quick to come, the war was evolving rapidly and men were needed in London, where the British had developed jets that could help the Allies in the war.

The trip to London from Hong Kong was long and nerve wracking, men packed like sardines in the back of a large plane. There was no communication with the outside world in those hours they spent between stops, and the atmosphere was too sombre to say much during. They would only be able to tune into the radio while the plane refuelled, a few quiet hours of listening to the worsening conditions and climbing body counts.

Kun didn’t get to see much of London before he was whisked away to the Royal Air force's base. He was with a team of nine other men, the best Hong Kong had to offer. They were shown planes of iron and steel, war machines meant to annihilate populations with a few well placed bombs. They were to fly it into Germany, an act of retaliation against the increasing violence on their part.

Kun sat down on the bunk assigned to him at night, hours after the briefing of their mission, wondering what he was doing. All he had wanted was to fly to escape from the world below him, not to hurt people. He wished he could go back to the air field back home and enjoy the peace of the green fields and infinite skies again.

That night, he dreamt again, just like he did when he was younger. He was sitting in the cockpit of his plane with the same lady behind him, now a little older, her sharp eyes making sure he was flying properly. Out of nowhere, he found himself speaking something he’d surprisingly never wondered. “What’s your name?” He asked.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” she said with a hearty chuckle. Kun didn’t have the time to ruminate on that comment, he had to keep his eyes in front of him.

It was after they’d landed that he spoke to him again. They were sitting on the ground in the grass, their helmets next to them. “I know you’re worried about what you’re doing, but you have to take a call, Kun,” she said, “In war, you either have conviction, or you run away.”

When he awoke, warm sunlight was streaking out of the window, his bunkmate still asleep above him. He left the room to find the mess and have something to eat. Their training with the new jets would begin soon, the final mission just over a month away. His English was good enough to be able to communicate with the British officers, and they led him down to the dining room.

That’s when he saw her, his eyes blowing wide at the sight of familiar short hair and sharp eyes. “Ms Lee, this is Kun Qian, one of your trainees,” the officer introduced before turning to Kun, “Mr Qian, Ms Hazel Ying Lee will be guiding you through your upcoming mission.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Hazel spoke, extending her hand to Kun. He returned the gesture, trying his best not to look too flustered. It was weird standing in front of the woman who had guided him for so many years and have her not know who he was. She asked him to join her for breakfast, which he did, and enjoyed an amicable conversation with her.

“Kun, things are going to get tough from here, not only physically, but emotionally as well. You’re clearly not a military man, so war isn’t something you were trained for. I suggest spending your free time in the city, enjoying what is left while it lasts.” Hazel was just like she was in his dreams, just as fierce and just as wise. Training under her was harsh, but the end result was far better than what Kun could have anticipated. Flying with Hazel was always a challenge, her sharp eyes ready to point out the smallest mistake he made.

He did take her advice though, and started to spend his free time exploring the city. He visited cafes and spent afternoons reading by the river, the atmosphere calm till he was brought back to reality by loud air raid sirens which made him run for cover.

It was in the evening, one week after he first arrived in London, that he saw him. He was standing by the fountain in a big park where Kun was taking a walk. His dark hair sat prettily over his forehead, plain white shirt tucked neatly into a pair of trousers, leather belt accentuating his tiny waist. He was playing around with a small child, helping her toss coins into the water and make wishes.

Kun didn’t realise that he had stopped in the middle of the walking trail to admire the man till someone politely asked him if he could move so that they could walk ahead. Finding the nearest bench, Kun pulled his book out of his jacket and tried to distract himself but his eyes kept wandering to the man in white. His eyes were so kind, face lighting up as he spoke to the child.

Just as Kun was about to force himself to leave, the man glanced up, catching Kun staring at him. Kun froze in his place as the man smiled at him, turning back to the child and sending her off with a wave before making his way to the bench.

“Do you spend your evenings ogling young men at the park?” The man asked, his tone light.

Kun knew he was joking but still felt the strong urge to apologise. “I’m so sorry. You just caught my eye,” he tried, even though he knew it was a terrible explanation.

“You’re nice, so I’ll let it be,” the man said, smile widening. “I’m Ten, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Kun, and pleasure’s all mine.” Ten sat down next to Kun after their introductions, and the two men quickly fell into a comfortable conversation. Ten explained that he was an elementary school teacher, explaining his skill around kids. He had tried to join the war efforts but a frail body had denied him the opportunity.

“Is it scary, being that high up in the sky?” It was late in the evening, the two men having spent hours talking about anything and everything. They had relocated to a restaurant for dinner, not wanting to let go of each other just yet.

“It’s liberating. I’ve never felt scared, just free.”

“Can I fly to Hong Kong with you when the war is over? I’m too scared to go on my own, but I really want to go there.” Ten had already told him about being born in England to Thai Chinese parents and how he had never left the country before.

“Of course, I’d love to show you around. The food is incredible there.” Kun couldn’t help but picture the two of them wandering through night markets and munching on street food, shoulders brushing as they walked through the bustling crowds.

He went home that night, unable to get Ten’s face off his mind. It was as if the man had engraved himself on the back of his eyelids, being the only thing Kun could see when he closed his eyes. He knew the way he thought about the man could get him in trouble if anyone found out, but he just couldn’t deny the feelings that raged in his heart.

Of course Hazel could tell that something had changed, and she pestered him about it whenever they were together in private. “Tell me, Kun. Is it a girl? Wait, of course it is, you wouldn’t look so lovesick otherwise. Is she pretty?” She kept throwing questions his way and he kept trying to avoid them, till one day the dam broke.

“It’s not a girl, Hazel,” he mumbled, unsure of how she would react.

“Oh, a boy, then?” Kun couldn’t help but stare in wonder at the cheeky smile on his trainer-turned-best-friend’s face. Of course she would be supportive of him.

“Yeah, and he’s really handsome. I met him at the park a few days ago,” Kun admitted.

“I know I don’t need to tell you to be careful, but I do want you to enjoy yourself while you can, Kun. If he does know, make the best of the time you two have left, if he doesn’t, at least make a friend who’ll make your days better.” Kun felt tears well up in his eyes as he pulled Hazel in for a hug. He didn’t have the words to express the gratitude he felt towards her, but he hoped she could feel it through his gestures. “Go get your man, boy.”

***

In the month leading up to the mission, Kun lived two lives everyday. One, on the training field, and one in Ten’s company. Mornings spent doing push ups and getting used to flying jets, evenings spent getting coffee or dinner at small restaurants tucked into quiet corners of the city. For someone who’d always loved daylight, Kun couldn’t wait for the sun to set, just to be able to see Ten again.

“Do you have to go back now?” Ten asked him one evening, less than two weeks before Kun had to leave. Kun couldn’t actually tell Ten his d-day for his team’s safety but he’d alluded that he’d have to leave ‘soon’. The moment he heard that, Ten had become adamant to spend as much time as they could together. Kun had a curfew to get back on the base but he’d gotten Hazel’s help to extend them by a few hours to follow Ten wherever he took him.

“I have till midnight, there’s only so much they’d loosen up,” Kun sighed, not wanting the night to end. It was just after ten thirty, meaning they only had a little more time for the day.

“Come with me, I want to show you something.” Ten grabbed Kun’s hand and dragged him up from the bench they were sitting at, leading them to the nearest tram station and hopping onto the right one. Kun followed quietly, enjoying the man’s company as he spoke enthusiastically about the new student in his class. They stayed till the last stop before the tram would turn back to return the way it came before they got off. The area was secluded, bordering the bustling city. It was definitely a change of landscape for Kun, only having seen the tarmac of the air field and the busy streets of the city in the preceding weeks.

They followed a narrow trail that led them up a hill, the night sky blanketing them in hues of blue and black. They didn’t have a light on hand but the shine of the moon and the neighbourhood nearby provided them with just enough visibility to make it to the peak. A lone apple tree sat there, old and dry, leaves frail, as if waiting for just the right moment to fall off. Ten sat down with his back against its bark, patting on the ground next to him as a silent request to Kun.

“I used to come here a lot as a kid. There was something very calming about being here alone, under the stars. This tree was mine, I had carved my name into its bark to make sure it would remember that this was my spot,” Ten said, his voice barely above a whisper, “I came here two days ago, for the first time in years. It was after you’d gone home, and I had felt this sinking feeling when I saw you leave. I thought coming here would make me feel better like it always did. It didn’t, and I couldn’t figure out for the longest time why I felt alone in a place that had always kept me company.”

Ten paused, turning to face Kun. Their knees brushed from how close they were sitting. Kun could feel his heart race, seeing the man’s face up close.

“It dawned upon me long after I’d left, upset at the lack of answers.” Kun held his breath, anticipating the words that would follow. “I had found something, someone else, to keep me company.”

Ten had barely gotten the words out when Kun leaned closer, his hand cautiously reaching up to cup the other man’s face. If he was wrong about this, it would absolutely doom Kun, but in that moment, it was worth the risk. He couldn’t tell who initiated it, his senses full of the feeling of Ten’s lips against his own. Kun couldn’t help the surprised sound that left him when Ten reciprocated the kiss, hesitant at first but quickly melting into something comfortable.

“I’ve wanted to do that since the first time I laid my eyes on you,” Ten admitted when they pulled away for air, his forehead resting against Kun’s. Their time was running out, with only a few short minutes left before they would have to return to the tram station and head home, but they savoured every moment they could spare, lips never parting for longer than the few seconds it took them to catch their breath. If their smiles were just a bit brighter on their way home, they’d blame it on the lovely weather.

***

“It’s D-5, boys. Five more days to prepare yourself for war. The mission is going to last for as long as you and our resources do, so better strap in for the long ride,” Hazel briefed them. She was already dressed in her flight suit, ready to run the squadron through offence and defence manoeuvres. While Kun wanted to concentrate, his head was still reeling from the happenings of the night prior.

They had finished dinner early as-per Ten’s request, heading to the river side to admire the late evening for a bit before Ten dragged him to his apartment. It was a small, dingy room with a little kitchenette and bath in a not so great part of town, but it was the best he could afford. Letting Kun step inside first, Ten was quick to lock the door before pushing Kun against it, his lips claiming the smooth expanse of his neck. Kun bit his bottom lip to stop himself from moaning as Ten ravaged his body, sending waves of pleasure crashing over his body.

They had spent all of that night making love, basking in the short lived intimacy. They both knew they were fighting against the clock but they were not going to give up. It was twenty minutes to midnight when they finally calmed down, Ten’s head nuzzled in Kun’s bare chest, hands clasped tightly together.

“I always imagine you turning into a mouse when the clock strikes midnight,” Ten muses, his tone teasing yet melancholic.

“Wouldn’t you love to see that? You’d become the most popular teacher. The kids would call you Prince Charming.” Kun stared at the clock that hung on Ten’s wall, trying to will it to slow down. It didn’t, and when there were five minutes remaining, Kun dragged himself off the bed and put his clothes back on, easing the wrinkles out with his hands. Ten didn’t move from where he sat on the bed, though his eyes followed every motion Kun made. Pressing a kiss to the man’s forehead, he bid him a quiet goodbye before finding his way out.

“Kun?” Hazel’s voice pulled Kun out of his thoughts. He looked up at her apologetically, and she just shook her head before pulling him away. “Is everything alright?”

“I’m in love, Hazel,” Kun said before he could really process the words that came out of his mouth. Noticing the worried look that crossed her face, Kun was quick to clarify, “We’re on the same page.”

“Oh Kun, I’m so sorry.” It felt odd having someone feel bad for him for having his love be reciprocated but he knew all too well what he meant. He had five days left, three of which he could spare Ten, before he’d leave. There was no certainty that he’d return, that he’d see Ten ever again.

The hours he spent with Ten shortened drastically in those last few days, their usual five hours turning to three, to two, to one. The minutes would fly by them as they tried to grasp them between themselves. It was hopeless and they both knew it.

The last time he saw Ten before his mission, they had spent their time under the apple tree, Ten carrying a knife with him to carve Kun’s name right under his own. “It’ll keep me company while I wait for you.” Kun had to muffle his tears into his pillow that night to make sure his bunkmate didn’t wake up.

***

“It was a pleasure to work with you,” Hazel said during her last briefing, the morning of their D-day. She gave Kun a tight hug, tears in her eyes, “See you on the other side.”

Once he was in the jet, his body worked on autopilot, hands moving from one side to the other, fiddling with the controls in front of him. He knew his job like the back of his hand, and he carried it out without second thought. Hours of flying blurred into mere minutes, and before he knew it, they were landing in their designated hiding spot. They would spend the night there and restock before they set off again.

Days turned to weeks and Kun spent his spare moments trying to figure out how long it would take them to run out of resources, forcing them to return. He knew it would be a stretch for him to survive till then, his fellow pilots going down one by one as the days went on. He was still hopeful as he watched their stocks deplete with every trip, the end coming closer and closer.

By the time of their last restock, their squadron of ten was down to three pilots and three jets that were barely holding together. All Kun could think of was dropping the last of the payload and returning home. He could picture Ten waiting for him by the river, his eyes flickering between the horizon and the sidewalk, counting the seconds down till Kun would show up next to him.

He flew with vigour that day, his mind on reaching the right spots at the right time, wasting not a millilitre of fuel. The moment he hit the button for the last drop, he signalled to his team that they were done, and they raced back to their home airbase, impatient to have their feet on the ground.

Hazel was waiting for them on the tarmac when they landed, having been alerted of their arrival. Kun had expected a big smile and a tight hug, but the expression on her face as he took his helmet off scared him.

“There was a bombing the day after you left,” She said, her voice apologetic, “One fell on Ten’s school. He couldn’t make it out in time.”

Kun could barely hear her words as he fell to his knees, tears pouring down his face. As much as he wanted to mourn losing Ten, a part of him knew he’d just administered the same fate to hundreds of other people. An eye for an eye, fate had asked of him. He might be on the right side of history, but it didn’t mean he could fight without getting blood on his hands.

Kun’s father wasn’t the nicest man he knew, he had beaten Kun black and blue when he was a kid for daydreaming too much, but when he funded Ten’s funeral without a single question, he hoped he’d be able to learn something from him, for himself and for Ten.

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