#wasnt a good work ethic but I was on fire

[paragonrobits]

"why did (Lord of the Rings character) do a thing that wasnt 100 percent strategically minded, like not murdering a traitor who was nonetheless unarmed, or just use the ring to defeat Sauron"

ah. I see someone who watched Game of Thrones and assumes that kind of practically minded realpolitick applies universally to all works of fiction, even when those actions are objectively immoral in a setting that runs on honor and righteousness to such a degree that breaking a sworn promise has tangible, explicit consequences!

its similar, I think, to the people who interrupt every single comment about the significance of Aang's decision in the final fight of Avatar the Last Airbender; its BLOATED with tons of talk about 'this would have been more practical' or 'personal feelings dont matter when the villain is that bad' or 'the only thing that matters is achieving the ends you want'

besides the ethical issues, and the way this seems to imply that these people think that brutal efficiency or pragmatism is always a good thing that never ever ends up creating destructive dictatorships, there's also a serious problem with reading literacy. It SHOULD be obvious that those amoral decisions would and should never be made in those sesttings, because the entire setting and story is constructed around more spiritual and moral decisions.

it doesn't matter if ruthlessness DEFINITELY will win, it will still have horrific and disastrous consequences. its also notable that a lot of the people saying these things don't think much about the consequences in-universe of, say, Aang just executing the Fire Lord. This sets precedents; what will history say, when the Last Airbender accepts the methods and conclusions that compelled Sozin to execute his people? To say 'what he DID wasn't wrong, just who he did it to' or 'the only thing that matters is getting what you want'.

There's a refusal to consider the impact it has in-story. A single-minded focus only on immediate goals, and not consequences.

#queued

[jrpneblog]

North End march on with hard fought victory

North End`s winning run continued at Deepdale with a hard fought 2-1 win over Michael Carrick's Middlesbrough. North End took the lead in the first half through Liam Millar and looked comfortable going into the break. However the visitors came out much quicker than in the first half and equalised through Azaz. North End were not behind for very long and went up the other end to regain the lead when Riis fired home after a kind deflection fell into his path. It was enough to give North End victory on a night when the 15,282 crowd paid their tribute to the great man who left us ten years ago today. Sir Tom would have proud of the effort the boys put in during this tough encounter and the resilience North End showed after taking the lead certainly gives some hope that all might not be lost this season after all.

Ryan Lowe made one enforced changed to the side that won at Cardiff on Saturday with Robbie Brady coming in to replace Brad Potts at wing back. Millar switched over to the right hand side and Brady played in his usual place on the left. North End suffered an early setback when Hughes had to go off after ten minutes but his replacement, Greg Cunningham was a worthy stand in at left centre back. A deflected shot from Boro was somehow brilliantly saved one handed by Woodman as the visitors started quite well. North End gradually got into the game and probably took the lead slightly against the run of play when Millar received the ball in the inside right position, cut in and fired home in typical Millar style. The visitors then had a shot which hit the back stanchion but apart from that North End were good value for their lead at the interval in what had been a very even first half.

No changes for North End at the break but Riis was the first to have a chance early in the second half when his shot was deflected wide. It wasnt long, though, before the visitors were level when Azaz took aim from twenty five yards and fired past Woodman in front of the visiting fans to level the score. It would have been easy for North End to roll over but within three minutes we were in the lead again when a big deflection from a Keane shot fell right into the path of Emil Riis and the big striker made no mistake firing home from the right hand side of the goal. With twenty minutes left, and North End under pressure, Woodman made a fantastic save from a Forss shot to keep North Ends lead intact. Five minutes later Lowe made a triple substitution which I thought was a bit of a gamble but this time it paid off for North End and we held out, with almost seven minutes of added time played, for an excellent win under the Deepdale lights.

So from despair just a few weeks ago North End now sit level on points with Coventry City who are sixth in the Championship table. Hull City are on the same points and have a game in hand but if North End carry on in this vein of form then very soon it is going to be game on again. Sometimes it wasnt pretty but the work ethic was excellent and the two up front with Frokjaer behind is certainly paying dividends at the moment. The manager has had plenty of stick from most quarters in the last few months but he is putting that right in the best way possible and that is winning games of football on the pitch. A fitting result, then, on the tenth anniversary of Sir Tom`s passing and with fourteen games left to go this season a campaign that looked like it was fizzling out quickly is now alive and kicking for North End.

.

PRESTON 2-1 MIDDLESBROUGH

.

WOODMAN 8

STOREY7 LINDSAY 8 HUGHES 7

BRADY 7 BROWNE 7 WHITEMAN 7 MILLAR 7

FROKJAER 7

RIIS 7 KEANE 7

.

SUBS

OSMAJIC 6

STEWART 7

CUNNINGHAM 8

WHATMOUGH 7

McCANN 6

.

MOTM: Liam Lindsay

Attendance 15,282

Preston Fans 13,537 (88.59%).

[cold-arrow]

Doctor's notes. Book 3: Of Hidden Horns

Entry 1

summary, things of note since last entry Lehel's ship, Lym's brother, elementals, unicorn horn ( lyms potion Wyrm cave, celestial worm, giant shield, more wyrms, defeated problematic wyrms, restoration charms. inspiration | Of all the ways i could have expected to meet Lym's brother, onboard an airship was not one of them. he sure knows how to make a good first impression though. the airship alone in its construction is astounding. I will have to ask for a tour at somepoint. Lehel himself seems like a decent fellow. Charismatic, friendly, and seemingly doing well for himself if he's working onboard a ship like this. I can definitely see the resemblance between him and Lym. Even after she changed her appearance. his recognition of her was also without falter. even after they've been apart from so long, he immediatly seemed to know it was her. you can pretty much see that they've had a pretty strong familial or sibling bond. They have a lot of catching up to do, so after the introductions of the crew ill give them some space and do some looking around. see how this boat floats. (should maybe talk with Taklin and "River of Dragons" they appear to be the mechanics of the ship and take care of it, know how it works)

The airship appears to be not just any wooden ship held aloft by simple air balloon. but instead a clever feat of artifice, that utilizes arcane and elemental energy sources and enchantments. The balloon itself is fueled by an arcane furnace, that apparently is powered by a minor fire elemental that has been magically tethered to. providing the hot air that keeps the balloon inflated. The steering mechanism relies on similarly inspired arcane propeller, but instead relies on air elemental, which gives it its forward momentum. Utilizing elementals like this is a clever way to circumvent the issues and requirement for a infinite power source. Or a the more expensive option, fuel. I kind of wonder about the ethics of using elementals, but i dont really know much about their alignment and cognitive capabilities. they might be a bit more primal in nature, especially minor ones. but to be fully certain would require more study on their behaviour. But, the general concept of the airship is fascinating and inspiring. (add this, as well as my other notes to my section regarding flight & levitation)

|

while i was working on some of my notes, writing down some of the inspiration i aquiired. Lym was kind enough to hand my a beverage. its only later that i realized, that it wasnt... as innocent of a gesture. And while relevant, is not as problematic as the following... revelation, that was bestowed upon me. It seems that i have a horn. nobody has told me i've had a horn. or mentioned its appearance after it... emerged, apparently a few days ago. but that doesnt change the fact that there is now a pointed projection above my brow. it explain the headaches i suppose. (damned "growth" spurts apparently) as well as some of the... equine dreams perhaps. speaking of dreams. Note to self. do not use the pillow while attempting a nights rest. I have it on good authority that it is cursed. something in regards to the unicorn hair used to make it. its not like somebody stole one of my adhesives and glued it to my head either. They would have had to get their hands on some sovereign glue to keep it stuck like that for this long, which is far too expensive for most of them anyways. that does pose the question of what its worth though. and it's... properties. ( note to self, do some research on unicorns, horns and curses ) what didnt help my sanity however is that when i left to process this "revelation" , i suddenly started to changing colours. something which gave me a additional panick attack, when Omrick pointed out my skin was starting to turn red and then pink. He was convinced i was becoming a full on celestial beast right then and there, so while he was going to get help, i just had to sit there for a moment and accept the fact that i would no longer be "human". It is only now, later, that i realize that the "beverage" Lym handed to me was probably one of the concoctions from the bartender / alchemist at the.... Horn and Hoof tavern.... "red ribbons run red" i think it was... Remind me not to accept things from Lym again. not without properly inspecting them first atleast ( I cant bring myself to throw away the pillow though. partially because i wonder whether i need it on order to brake this equine curse that has been put upon me) |

we decided to go towards the nearest location marked on Harshnag's map: The Great Worm Cave. And I'm surprised by how quickly we arrived there. didnt even take a day! a distance that what would have taken us perhaps more then a week on foot, instead only took us a couple of hours. The airship is deceptively fast, I have to say. the cave itself was a bit more problematic however. upon reaching the entrance, after a bit of a climb, we were greeted with more tribesfolk. ones part of the great worm sect. they were a bit less hostile though, much to my relief. after some conversing and negotiating, they were eventually willing to let us enter the cavern, as well as show of their holy relic, in return for some of our provisions. It seems they were dealing with a bit of a food shortage. this tribe seems to be living in a vast cavern system, interconnected by several tunnels near the surface. but their main hall was... cavernous in and of itself. containing a totem or statue of a large flying serpent. ( that also finally explains what kind of "Worm" this tribe worships) |

some distance behind the statue, was the relic we were looking for. An ancient giant shield, reinforced with dragon scales, and of remarkable craftmanship. someone.... thought it was a good idea however, to ring the dinner bell and hit it like a gong. moments later the ground began to shake and another, clew ( ? i think is the right word) of Remorhaz attacked us and the tribe. a few of them didnt make it. And i tried to heal those that i could. But... something strange happened while we were fighting the "Remors". whilst trying to fight them of, I backed up to the totem like statue, and nearly fainted when i heard a disembodied voice. I thought it was... Her for a moment. but it spoke to me in celestial, and implored me for aid. it asked if I could make sure that the troublesome leader of the Worm Tribe, didnt return. and in return it would reward us. in my confusion though, and upon seeing another Remor approach, i backed up from the statue and... lost my footing. causing me to fall of a hundred foot cliff. Seeing as that im still writing this, i survived, but the bruises and physical trauma on the side i landed on, beg to differ. I will need to take it easy and rest for a bit . the others managed to take care of the worms while i was knocked out, and brought me back shortly afterwards. but i wasnt the only one who had heard the voice of the feathered serpent it seems. Lym had heard it as well. the... Statue had asked for proof to show that we defeated the warrior and when we had accomplished the task. and Lym, managed to connect the dots : That the figures we fought a the temple, near the staircase, probably were the ones the celestial serpent or Coatl?? was speaking of / revering to. upon showing a necklace she had picked up when we looted them, we were givin permission to take the relic shield with us as a reward. And we were bestowed some rather peculiar charms... upon later inspecting, they seem to hold great restorative properties, which is.... Amazing. i... dont know how else to put it. they should certainly come in handy maybe for Omrick Or myself...

[cuppajj]

So according to the inbox, my brand consists of Overlord, memes, wacky aus, Overlord, round shapes, haha funny animations, cinnamon roll ocs, Overlord, oc torture, purple, and more Overlord. My blog is cute and funny one day and incredibly dark the next.

Sounds about right!

#I REMEMBER WHEN MY BLOG WASNT 95% OVERLORD CONTENT #IT TRULY WAS A TIME TO LIVE #Starscream is rotting in the corner somewhere #cjj sayeth #I remember when I made animations almost weekly too 😭⚰️ #wasnt a good work ethic but I was on fire #you come to my blog for whiplash #you won’t know what I post #it all depends on how I wake up #some days I’m like ‘hmmm wholesome lltau’ and others I’m dragging my ocs kicking and screaming #how would the esrb even rate this?? 😂 #I MISS ANIMATING DBSSBXNDBBANDBDB

[please-buckme]

The View From The Fire Escape. (1/3)

Bucky Barnes x gn!reader

Words: 1.2k

Warnings: alcohol? Kinda fluffy.

A/n: Inspo. Came from @buckysm3talarm and *wink wink* *nudge nudge* it’s her birthday! Love you girl! 💖 Also, depending on the feedback I may do a part 2!

Part 2 // Part 3

(Not my gif! I’m sorry @detectiveupton ! I tried to do it the proper way and I couldn’t find it!)

Working at a dinner in Brooklyn sucked. It really sucked. Especially when you work the late shift and don’t get home till just before the sun was about to rise. Luckily, tonight your boss decided to be nice and cut you a bit earlier- 3am instead of 5am; what a gem.

When you finally twist the key to your front door, feeling the air of your apartment on your skin, a loud sigh escapes you. There’s a high or maybe more of a rush you get when you first get home. It’s comparable to taking your socks off in bed; relaxing.

You shrug your jacket from your shoulders, kick your all-stars from your aching feet and change into something comfy. Once you’re dressed down and into more comfortable clothes, you go to the fridge. The feeling of opening your fridge was always underwhelming, since you were barely paying rent you hardly ever had a full fridge. Spotting one of the two beers you had left, you grab it and head to your fire escape.

This had become a nightly thing over the past few months. A rather attractive guy moved in directly across the street from you. He was always up, like you. You honestly started to think he was a vampire or something. There were lights always on, and if they weren’t on the tv was. You checked your watch, 4:30. You should be right on time tonight.

The guy, who you learned’s name is Bucky, woke up every morning from a dead sleep at 4:30am. Had to be nightmares. He was always a little psyched out when he’d wake up. You never asked why. You loved having company at this hour, so you didn’t want to scare him away by asking too personal of questions.

4:31am hit and you sigh, taking a swig from your beer in defeat. You were about to call it a night when he suddenly popped up.

His breathing was heavy, clearly panting. Of course you were curious as to why these nightmares happened so often, but at the same time you knew if he wanted to tell you he would.

Once he calmed down, repositioned himself on the floor, put his arms over his knees, and steadied his breathing, you called out to him.

It was the coolest thing, so you thought. You’d whistle as low as you possibly could, getting louder and louder until he’d hear you. You never go past the first pitch before he’d shoot his head up towards you.

He smirks, walking to his fridge for a beer and then heading to his fire escape as well.

“That never ceases to amaze me.” You laugh, taking another sip of your drink. “How the fuck do you do that.”

“A magician never reveals his secrets.” He grins, “You’re home early.”

“Ah, you noticed.” You say, cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “Boss decided to be nice and cut me two hours earlier than usual.”

“Wow, what’d you do with those two whole hours?” He asked, smirking and leaning against the railing of his fire escape.

“Waited for you to wake up.” You admit, laughing into your bottle before taking another sip.

“I guess I’m sort of a creation of habit.” He chuckles. His body relaxes, now sitting in the chair behind him as he fiddles with his bottle.

A silence falls over the both of you, which is normal. Sitting out here in silence just knowing he’s there is more relaxing to you than going in and watching tv. It didn’t hurt that he was half naked either. He is yards away from you but you could still see his perfectly chiseled features. Of course you also noticed the metal arm, but never brought it up. You felt like the arm and the nightmares go into the ill-talk-about-it-when-I-want-to-about-it file, never to be mentioned.

“Why’d he cut you early?” Bucky asked, breaking the silence.

“Oh.. uh, it’s my birthday.” You say sort of nonchalantly. “Well, it was my birthday. I guess it’s technically over now.”

“Ah, someone who works on their birthday has a good work ethic. That’s sexy.” He grins. The deep rasp of his voice makes butterflies erupt in your stomach. “Happy Birthday, y/n.”

You giggle, a little caught off guard, to say the least.

“Or just shows you how broke I actually am. And thank you.” You both laugh now. It’s a little awkward now because- FUCK DID HE JUST CALL ME SEXY- is all your brain can process at the moment.

Bucky was a natural flirt, that was obvious. Sometimes you’d be able to spit something back at him, but tonight you were almost desperate for him to flirt with you. You’d never seen Bucky up close or anywhere but his fire escape, but you’d come to have a small crush on him.

The nights when he’d sleep in bed you wouldn’t see him. There was internal conflict there. You were glad he’d be sleeping in an actual bed, you assumed, rather than the floor, but he was the only thing that made your dreadful late night shifts worth working. Sometimes you hoped he’d come in to see you, but he never did.

You've been waiting so long for him to make a move that you’re now chomping at the bits. Fortunately, it’s your birthday and you were feeling ballsy. You drank that beer way too fast, meaning you were slightly tipsy and you craved meeting him. Craved knowing how good he probably smells after a morning shower. Craved feeling the cold metal of his fingers against your skin as he ran them along your side, Dirty Dancing style. So, you broke the silence this time,

“You know, I’m off tomorrow if you-“ you trailed off, losing your confidence towards the end.

“Oh, you don’t wanna waste your free time on me.” He sighs, smiling but it’s filled with conflict, pre usual. Such a pretty face to be hidden behind so much remorse.

“I’m here with you now, aren’t I?”

“I suppose.” He says bluntly.

“Nothing crazy, Buck. Just beer and football or ballet. Whatever you’re into.” You chuckle at yourself. You expected to see Bucky laughing with you but when you looked up, he wasnt. He’s up from his chair and leaning over the railing again, seeming almost freighted? You couldn’t tell.

“Buck?” He asks. “Oh shit, it just kinda slipped out. I’m so-“

“No, please,” he interrupted. “Please don’t apologize. I’ll be out front of your building around 11am. Sound good?” He seemed to be on the brink of tears but also happy.

You wanted to know everything about this man. The closer you got, though, the more you realized you’d probably know everything and nothing at all about him. He was those knotted up earphones that were a pain to unravel but worth untangling in the long run.

“11am sounds perfect.” you give him a half smile, not wanting to come off too eager. “I should probably get to bed then, huh?”

“Uh, yeah. Me too.”

You got up, stretched then turned towards your apartment, but not before whispering, “Goodnight, Buck.”

You didn’t know what the nickname held for him and he knew that. It just felt so good and sounded so sweet coming for your lips.

“Goodnight, y/n.” Bucky whispered.

//

Masterlist

A/n: I hope you enjoyed whatever this was lol depending on the feedback I may do a part 2!

Taglist: @haydens-moles @animefangirl425 @valkyrieofthehighfae @aurora-sweet @dinos-lavapit @hoeforcuteguyswithcharmingsmiles @sebbystanlover-vk @youre-a-wallflower-charlie @nebulastarr @meegggoooo @skylerrae-solo @alyssa-skywalker @blondekel77 @gogolucky13 @buckysm3talarm @heavenlyseb @writersbuck @badassbuchanan @buckyownsmylife @buckysdolls @notwithoutbarnes @cherryblossomskye @ladyfallonavenger

#sebastian stan #bucky barnes #tfatws #tfatwsedit #tfatws spoilers #the falcon and the winter solider #bucky barnes x you #Bucky Barnes #bucky fluff #Bucky Barnes fluff #bucky barnes marvel #bucky barnes reader insert #Bucky barnes reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x y/n #marvelcastedit #marveledit #bucky marvel #tfatws bucky #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction

[aangfanclub]

s3 ep5: the beach audio & transcript

here’s the link to our audio reaction + transcript under the cut!! this episode was SO chaotic we had to pause it just to process like 5 different times,,, I had no idea that what I needed in life was a fun beach episode with the emo crew but uh. I really really did

First of all who are these guys in the intro? Are these past avatars? I am intrigued

Also what would’ve happened if another nation had been attacked what would they have done

Also uh DISGUSTING we hate zuko/mai in this household

Oh right almost forgot zuko hired an ASSASSIN. The drama

They really have just a lake house somewhere?? They’re such rich kids dfjskljs

Is this just fun times at the beach episode??? (abby: i could be into it)

“It smells like old lady in here” sdkjfsjkalk ZUKO

Sdjlks they said booty bump

Me: this truly looks like the worst kind of vacation ever

Abby: the WORST b&b

Sjkfdls mai COVERED HIS EYES WHAT

Really aang?? Waterslide time???

Are they at the SAME body of water sjkdflkdf

Me: are they sharing a telescope?

Levi: not as bad as sharing a corn cob

Me: WE DROPPED THAT SUBJECT

Dfljkslkd is this just the everyone’s in bikinis episode

Lollll ty lee knows how to deal with boys

[we have to take a second and comprehend how zuko found a garbage seashell laying on the ground next to him and decided it would be a PEAK romantic move to pick it up and hand it to mai like WHATTT JSDKSLFD ZUKO WHAT]

“Why would i want that” SDJKFKSLD MAI OMG SHE JUST ROASTED HIS WHOLE THING

They are all So Dramatic i can’t handle it

Dsfkjls zuko why are you trying so hard??? Mai literally sucks

[we just scream during the whole volleyball scene. We are losing our minds.]

Azula said DISMISSED she didn’t say break she said DISMISSED

Abby: imagine if theater kids were also jocks. That’s what they are. Like troy bolton

Levi: did you just compare zuko to TROY BOLTON

CHAN AND RON CHON JDKLFSDLK WHATTTTTT

I’m sorry,, the most important teenagers in the fire nation?? Is there a ranking?????

[azula gives off “not wanting to be a princess” vibes and abby and i start quoting barbie: princess & the pauper involuntarily]

Zuko why did u literally have to hire an assassin like. My dude.

Fdksjlsskl dusk till dawn AZULA NO

Me: azula really doesn’t know how to chill out

Abby: another reason i hate her

Wait HOLD ON HOLD ON DID AZULA JUST TRY TO MAKE A JOKE???? Are you trying to tell me that all of this drama is just azula not having social skills???? This is just how she relates to people are you kidding?

Abby: normally we love a hair down friend but i’ve gotta say hair down azula is Not It

Jsdlkfs azula is like,, if adora from spop was evil. Like. neither of them know how to chill out

[abby: who’s adora?

Me: it’s from she ra

Abby: oh. Isn’t that the one that also has a girl named katara?

Me: HER NAME IS CATRA FSJDKL LIKE A CAT

Abby: yeah like katara with a c :)

Me: NOT AT ALL]

Dskjfl omg zuko get a grip my man jealousy is not a good look on you

GJFKSLFDJSD TY LEE ACUPUNCTURED ALL OF THEM IN PANIC

Azula stop being mean to ty lee!!!!

“You’re right about all those things” AZULA FDJSKLDLKSA

[abby and i remark that it’s true that you just have to laugh at whatever a boy says to make him think you like him. Levi pauses it and has a tiny existential crisis wherein he wonders if any girl has actually thought he was funny ever]

I’m ready for a tour azula what????

THAT WORKED SJFKDLA AZULA WHAT

DFJKSDSLJLKDF TOGETHER WE WILL DOMINATE THE EARTH /AZULA/////

Why is this episode making me like azula actually??? This is so funny sfdjhgslk

THAT FOOD WAS FOR MY CRANKY GIRLFRIEND  Z U K O

Zuko just flicked that guy into the WALL?????

Mai u gonna break up with zuko?? ZUKO????

Me: how come zuko gets bullied everywhere he goes?

Abby: how come he’s not wearing shoes?

Levi: yeah let’s ask the real questions here

Oh is it time for an angsty walk on the beach?

Abby: remember when zuko had a ponytail?

Me: remember when zuko had a MOM?

Abby: SHUT UP

Hair down sokka? Hair down sokka hello?

Me: hair down sokka is 80% more powerful than ponytail sokka

Whattt,,, WHAT who is this guy how is he doing that??? Is he shooting lightning from his BRAIN????

Wait are they gonna bond on the beach? Is it bonding time?

“I’m gonna make a fire” zuko you guys can ALL make a fire

Levi: did someone get a gun finally?? This is what happens when someone gets a gun

Me: give it to momo

Ugh i just want zuko to get redeemed already

Hgnnhgh every time aang slams into something i get those steven universe feelings of when we found out he was breaking every bone in his body :(((

[intermission where levi swears it looks like toph is looking at something and abby and i have to remind him he’s just stupid]

Ohh zuko why are people being mean to ty lee today???

Dang,, the trauma’s really coming out tonight huh

Fsdjkls you’re gonna lecture zuko abt bad skin???

Levi: do you think his scar gets pimples?

Ohhhh babe,,, he’s angry at himself oh honey :(((

Wow!!! Growth!

Me: this is like thursday night at church camp

Levi: YES! Like thursday night specifically!

Me: yeah they really just had a therapy session

Abby: yeah but they were so mean to each other and nobody said anything uplifting and then they just pretended that it was nice and it WASNT

What??? Why are they wrecking this guy’s house WHAT?

This episode did not feel real. What was that?? Just a therapy session??? WHAT WAS THIS EPISODE

I had to cut it off at the end bc it turned into like  7 minutes of us arguing about the ethics of sharing a corn cob again so. If u want the Forbidden Audio maybe i will release it one day jdsklsd

#liveblog

[nithr]

A Second Chance

Summary: 'Who are you?' He wanted to know, know every single thing about her, things that one shouldn't want to know about a person who holds a gun on them. A second chance at love for the ones that were robbed of it.

It had been days since he had had a good nights sleep free from dreams. He didn't know why but since his childhood he had dreams that had followed the same theme. A world full of fantasy, honour and war. In his childhood those dreams seemed like an entry into the unknown, a world full of wonders and action that a little boy thoroughly enjoyed and embraced. But as he had grown older, had gotten better at understanding the world around himself , the dreams changed, their meanings changed. Cheerful laughter and abundance of love that shone through the dreams changed. The first time he experienced a life leaving its body through his own hands, he was fourteen. Waking up screaming he had thoroughly frightened his parents. Chalking it up to nightmares didn't seem to work in their household because once is a chance, twice is a coincidence but repeatedly for past how many ever years that he had started speaking from, explaining to his parents a world from history books that they attributed to his imagination, that had frightened them. A slew of doctors came and went, medicines consumed but the dreams didn't seem to stop. He stopped taking those medicines when he had accidentally overdosed due to him being delirious with not having slept in three days. It was a great fight with his parents but slowly he had them accept that those medicines were not improving him at all. Turning to yoga and meditation brought him a sense of calm but those dreams, those dreams where he was an royal, the feeling of a sword slicing the air around him, an all encompassing feeling of motherly love and devotion , the feeling of complete content and happiness as if he had found his soulmate, they never left and to tell the truth , he would rather have them along with sleepless nights with nightmares than do without them.

Inspite of all this he had an loving childhood, and a promising career. His family owns the prestigious Mahismathi Industries, a pioneer in the field of technology. Being the only heir apparent of MI , his life and future is set. But the thirst of knowledge and the fire to prove that he deserves the position made him an overachiever in his studies and in the work he started doing for MI. His parents seem to be happy that he is thriving despite his struggles in mental health and that has lead to what is now a big problem for him. Marriage. The thing he totally despises. Don't get him wrong he has no qualms about love, and he had gone on dates and had a few one night stands. But marriage is different. It's a partnership more than anything else. What was he to say to his future wife, that he has recurring dreams and nightmares and that he'll wake up screaming somedays, babble in a strange language on others, sometimes wake up kicking and punching so would you please learn some self defense or sorry we cant sleep in the same bed. Or should he say I'll try to love you but sorry I think I can't because I already love someone, oh it's just someone I dream of regularly, and no she's not real, yes I'm pretty sure, no I would not like an admittance to a mental hospital thanks. He would be really glad when this marriage talk comes to an end.

He prays for this recent bout of sleeplessness to end , he is getting sick of his own growchiness. Hearing his alarm blare out he groans and covers himself with his sheets willing the world to just disappear away. A few minutes later hearing the second alarm go off he huffs before throwing away his sheets and stumbles to the bathroom. He considers calling in sick for a few moments after he sees his reflection in the mirror, he really looks like a zombie, but then he curses himself for his very own good work ethics. Besides the vultures at the company would swoop in at just a peak of a mistake to point and complain. It was getting ridiculous, he was only in a mid management position now, both him and his parents agreeing that he should start low at the food chain, getting an experience at different levels in the company. But some people at the board still try to sabotage him at every turn. The thing was they knew his place at the top is cemented but they still try at every chance they get. He could even appreciate the ones that go about it in a clever way, because they could be useful for him in the long term but those stupid ones, he just doesn't know what to do about them.

Cursing the board members mentally, he got ready and hurried out of his house hoping he won't be late. Just as he was about to start the car his cellphone went off. Seeing that it was his mother calling and wondering she would at this time of the day he answered the call,

'Amma, good morning, why are you calling this early, any problem?' He inquired.

'Amar, good morning my son, did you sleep well'

'Ya ma, got some sleep , what's the matter , is everything ok?' It wasnt like his mother to call him in the early hours of the day. This call was making him a bit worried.

'Yes, good, everything is fine, don't worry and stop being a pessimist '

'Tell that to my mother who calls early in the morning to a son who she's going to see probably in an hour or so' he countered back.

'Stop sassing me, lord knows I get enough of that from your father and stop chuckling, like father like son', He tries vainly to cover his laughs. Like father, as if, he hasn't seen anyone in his life actually verbally spar with his mother and come out unscathed.

'Ok ok sorry, I'm stopping so why did you call' If he doesn't stop his mother now he would still be getting told off an hour from now.

'Oh that, I just wanted to ask you to collect a package from Ragupathy uncle on the way. Its the family heirloom from Andhra that got lost and was got back in an auction, uncle has it and he said he would deliver it personally, but it seems he has an urgent business meeting coming up and wont be able to come by so he asked me to send you by to pick it up'

'Cant you ask someone else ma, I'm getting pretty late, and if it really has to be me I can even pick it up in the evening' he tries.

'Amarnath, didn't I already say your uncle is going away on a business trip , and no I cant send anyone else because it's a family heirloom and it costs twenty two millions. And how many times do I have to say you are the boss of MI and you are allowed to be late sometimes. '

'Cool down cool down, dont get tensed, your blood pressure is already high, I'll go ok, and i really shouldn't be late even when I'm the boss' This was an age old argument in their home and today wasnt the day that it was going to be resolved.

'Really cant change you dear, but that is also why you are the heir to MI and your cousin Balla is not'

'Dont you get started on him now amma, and got to go now if I'm getting your package too along the way '

'Dont grumble too much will you, doesn't suit you'

'Ok amma got to go bye'

'Hmm , drive safely dear , bye'.

Ending the call with his mother , he started the car and turned it towards his uncle's home. Arriving in under twenty minutes, he rushed to the door and rang the bell. The door opened to reveal panja aunty a maid in his uncles home who welcomed him warmly. Asking for his uncle he was directed to the study in the upper floor. Knocking on the door and entering he found his uncle rushing around trying to fit as many things as he could in the bag of his.

'Amarnath, thank you my son for coming so quickly , I really didn't know who to trust with such an important piece of item. Thank God you're here'

'Its no problem uncle, mom said you have an antique piece for her?'he ended it as a question, trying not to let his frustrations show about how late it was getting.

Giving a confirmation his uncle went to the safe in the corner and brought an ornately carved box about the size of a shoe box.

'Take great care of this Amar, this thing does not only contain our family's money but also our history and legacy. Be careful will you?'

'I'll be careful uncle, it's already 7 isn't your flight at 7.30'

'Yes , yes I'll go , dont want to make you late' his uncle finished with a laugh. His entire family knew what a workaholic he was and took great pleasure in teasing him at any given chance.

Seeing his uncle off , he secured the package carefully in the trunk so that it wont jolst too much on the drive and started the car. It was a solid hour travel to his office from his uncle's home and he wanted to shave off whatever minutes he could so he took the smaller streets that wound through the city rather than the highway.

Later he would wish he had paid more attention to the road and to the car that was tailing him rather than speeding. But it had brought him to her and he wouldn't want it any other way.

It was halfway through, on a stretch of road that had sporadically placed houses and rather bare in terms of human activity that it happened. It wasn't that he wasn't paying attention to the road but when he noticed a man laying on the ground with his bike toppled over it was difficult to stop with the way he was speeding. He didn't think he had hit the stranger but it really was too close for his comfort. Berating himself and lamenting the consequences for his momentary lapse in judgement he hurried out of the car to check on the stranger.

It really had been a close call, he observed, if he had been even a second late in applying the breaks , the man would have died and he would have become a murderer. Walking over to the man on the ground he saw no evidence of bleeding , which was good. Crouching down , he laid his fingers to the man's neck to check for his pulse. Noticing that he had a good , strong pulse, he started to try to wake the man. With no amount of him trying getting any results, he decided to call the ambulance.

As concerned with the stranger as he was, he hadn't heard the scuffles coming from behind his car. But a strange loud thud from the near vicinity of his car startled him from his position. More wary now than he had been before , he tried to get up and check what the noise had been about. But before he could even stand fully, he was grabbed by the ankles and pushed to the ground. With his winds knocked out and reasonably confused he saw the man on the ground get up grinning. With a dawning sense of realisation coming upon him he turned his attention to the car to see four men with clothes tied over their faces trying to force open the trunk. He realised It had been a ploy to get him off the car.

It took him longer than he would be willing to admit, to get sense of the situation. Three by the car, forcefully trying to open the trunk, and an another who had tricked him, who now that he focused was swinging his leg back to deliver a kick. The kick landed hard on his abdomen knocking his breath out. Pain for many would cloud their senses but for him it sharpend them. When the next kick contacted with his abdomen he held on to the leg and pulled. Bringing down his assailant he crouched on the top of him and delivered a swift punch to his face. With the following two more the man was knocked out cold. Suddenly hands grappled on the back of his shirt pulling him away from the man. Allowing his weight to freefall on the assailant he got away from the hold and faced his three opponents. Breathing in and out and centering his mind he got into a battle stance.

In his childhood while other children opted for sports or games Amar was always fascinated by martial arts. After much cajoling to his parents he joined them, and never looked back. Fighting came easy to him, he raised through the ranks and joined even more different types of martial arts classes. It gave him peace and happiness that couldn't be found in his life plenty. So this situation of him facing three goons that seemed to be amateurs at best did not panic him as it would any other. They came at him from all sides, trying to overpower him , but he side steps and fights. The fight finishes in mere minutes. Panting heavily he carefully notes what he could about these thugs. From the way they way laid him and opened his car without any power tools he could tell they were well accomplished thieves, but their fighting left a lot to be desired. They weren't fighters , just thieves, good ones but just thieves .

A sudden feeling of a cold hardness pressed against his skull brought him up from his thoughts. With the realisation dawning on him he scolded himself for not checking up on the other thug he knocked out at the start. The gun pressed against him trembled making him more nervous that that idiot would shoot him without even meaning to. Seeing that he had not been shot at already he tried talking to the man who had his life in his hands. 'Listen buddy, there's no need for weapons here. Lower your gun and I'll let you guys go without even letting the police involved. But if you shoot and then got caught it would be life sentence for you. Your whole life would be behing the bars. Think that through. Put your gun away and I'll let you take your guys away. '

The gun pressing even harder against his head made him stop . The hand that was trembling till now steadied. The gun pressed firmly against the back of his head steadied. The click of the guns safety rang across the empty road sounding to him as if it was the conch sounding at his funeral. The safety had been on before , he could have tried to escape but there was no use lamenting about things that could have been. He knew in a few moments he would be no more. As many say, his whole life did not flash before his eyes , but his dreams did. Times he was happy and content in his dreams came to the forefront of his mind. He could totally ignore the gun behind him and he could go out with thoughts that made him smile. More than the fear of death , the wait for when the bullet will tear through him was what scared him. In the silence that made even death noisy , he heard the creak of the trigger being pressed. Then the shot rang through.

The pain he expected was not there, nor was the feeling of either heaven or hell. Slowly opening his eyes which he seemed to have closed , he turned around to see what the hell had happened. There on the ground laid the man who had held a gun to his head , with a bleeding shoulder. The gun laid on the ground and was now being picked up. Following the hand he saw the other held a gun too which seemed to be the source of the shot that he heard. Moving his eyes upwards he stopped short. Because there with guns in her hands, in a plain shirt and pants was the girl he was intimately familiar with. Eyes sharp as razors, beautiful red lips turned into a scowl, a face that shone even when it screamed murderous intent, she was there, every inch a perfect copy of the dreams that he had.

'Deva' his mind whispered, 'Deva'.

He wanted to pinch himself awake but he knew that this was real because even in his dreams he could never get the magnetism that shone off her eyes right, that was being directed at him. He didn't even mind the gun that was now pointed at him, again.

'Who are you , what the hell happend here ' she asked with a voice filled with authority. He found himself smiling hearing her voice. It was just as enchanting as he had always imagined it to be. 'What are you smiling for' she asked again with more force now. His smile had infuriated her.

'Who are you?' He wanted to know, know every single thing about her, things that one shouldn't want to know about a person who holds a gun on them.

'Devika Rajendran , deputy inspector of police , now give me your name or be ready to be dragged off to jail' she stated with a raised eyebrow and a relaxed stance. The confidence that she carried with her, it sent shivers down his spine making him want to needle her so much more, so that he could watch the way she got wound up and let go.

''Amarnath Chandran, software engineer at Mahismathi Industries ' he replied , holding back his true position at MI. He wanted her to look at him as if he was just any other normal guy, not the heir to a multibillion dollar company. It was experience that had him introducing himself as an IT guy rather than his true self. But looking at her he somehow doubted that she would bend down or simper at him. And it was that which made her even more attractive in his eyes.

'Well Mister Amarnath' he cut her off before she could finish the sentence,' its Amar, call me Amar'

If possible she looked even more less impressed by that statement. 'Mister Amarnath, I have to ask you , why was this guy pointing a gun at you' a hint of coldness seeped into her tone.

'I have no idea who these people are , they hijacked my car and tried to steal the antique that i had in my trunk, and trust me no way am i involved in any shady business Devika' and seeing the expression on her face become frostier he hastily added 'Maam, Devika Maam'.

'Cut off the name calling and show me your ID' she neared him and held out her hands.

He didn't know what was going through his mind. It probably was "she's here, she's real" and not "let's go to jail today". His response should have been "sure, let me get it from my car" and not what he said.

'I dont have it on my person at this moment but I could bring it to you by noon today. Your office is at the city headquarters isn't it'

If it had been him at her place , he probably would have done worse than slap the cuffs on his had and dump him in the back of the police jeep with the other thugs. He didn't care much for it, but at least the view was nice, or the back of her that he could see.

It took his mother half an hour to get the news and come to the station with a lawyer to get him out, the time which he spent most enjoyably watching her in her true environment. He seemed to infuriate her, smiling wider every time she managed to catch his look and glare at him. It was good that his mother came when she did or he didn't know what she would have done to him. But as soon as his mother came her entire ire transferred to his mother. Watching both the woman verbally battle he was glad that he wasnt caught in between but he would gladly accept that and more if only she could be in his life. They were two strong women who didn't want to give each other an inch of leeway. Finally Devika stomped towards the holding cell and opened the door with such a force that nobody could mistake her anger for anything else.

But before she could leave he grabbed her wrists making her turn towards him with such an anger in her face. It made him want to go to her and pull her in a tight hug and never let her leave. But he had an apology to deliver. Letting her go he lifted his hands up in an apology.

'I'm sorry I touched you without your permission, I just wanted your attention for a second. I'm sorry that I deceived you, it's my fault. The reason for it is simple. I didn't want to be away from your company just yet. You captivate me Devika, from your confidence to your inner strength that shows just as bright as your beauty, I wanted to spend more time with you. Your strength is beautiful, you are beautiful. Will you please accept my apology as a dinner tonight. Just an apology dinner, nothing else and if you never want to see me again you dont have to'.

Seeing the anger fade away from her face, and a confused look entering in, he smiled.

'Don't need to give me an answer now, tonight 7 PM at Jonas restaurant at the city centre, I'll be waiting, and if you dont show up I'll understand ' leaving the cell he started to walk out of the room and fortunately for him his mother seemed to have left already. Stopping midway he turned back to see her still standing in the same position. 'I don't know what you will decide tonight Devika, but either way have a good life officer'. He turned back and strode out of the room, whatever tonight may bring he was content in a way that he had never been. She may never come looking for him, but knowing that she was real, and that she lived a happy life somewhere was enough for him.

A smirk tugged at his lips, he definitely did notice the blush that stained her cheeks when she was with him.

Thank you @carminavulcana and @mayavanavihariniharini for welcoming me into this wonderful fandom.

Ao3 link

#baahubali #amarendra baahubali #devasena #fan fic

[angrylizardjacket]

and then there was light [4] {Roger Taylor}

A/N: 5060 words. part 4? part 4. it’s a bit of a darker one and before you ask, there will be a part 5, you know i wouldn’t end it on a cliffhanger and do you dirty like that.

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3]

The moment Roger steps foot into the meeting about the design of the shows for the upcoming American legs of the ‘Night at the Opera’ world tour, he’s pretty sure he’s already mentally checked out. Freddie’s doing all the talking, to literally no-one’s surprise; the man has big ambitions for his own costumes, and knows the other guys will pipe up about their own needs when they get to meet with just the costume designer. John Reid brings up the technical requirements, Roger’s got the ‘galileo’s from Bohemian Rhapsody playing on repeat in his head as he stares into the middle distance, and it’s Deaky who sits forward.

“We’ve got a pretty solid idea for the lights; Freddie and I have been consulting with a designer in America; she’s freelance, used to work for EMI, she’s reliable.” He assures, and Roger’s thinking ‘hey that sounds familiar’ but Reid seems satisfied and they’re already moving on to the staging and sound equipment needed. 

Roger doesn’t connect the dots at first; it’s been almost four years since that fateful American tour, and they’ve had other tours come and go since, and as far as the others are concerned, they’re pretty sure he hasn’t spared you a thought since arriving home at the end of that tour. But he does, even if he doesn’t mean to.

The tour after you’d quit working for EMI, someone drops a parcan side of stage, and his heart is in his throat when he realises he was waiting to hear you yell ‘okay that one wasn’t my fault’ or something similar. All he hears is a faint apology, and a call from someone to get a broom. The scheduling’s different this time around, he can’t even have a cigarette in an empty theatre without some stagehand buzzing back and forth, or a band member trotting across the stage as they practice. It would be so much easier to lay on the stage if the rest of them were confined to one place while they played, like he was behind the drums. It’d be boring as shit, he would be the first to acknowledge that, but it would mean he would get stepped on less during lunch, and that’s a sacrifice he’s willing to make with the toe of Freddie’s shoe poking at his waist.

Nothing serious had come his way in that time, or rather, he’d never found anyone who could hold his attention for more than a week or two. People became dreadfully boring when all they wanted to do was faun over him and fuck him; not that it wasn’t fun at first, it was always fun at first, but there was a lack of variety, a sinking sensation that these people were more attracted to the idea of him that left a sour aftertaste.

But now he’s here, new company, new album, second leg of the new tour, new chance to sample all different women across this great nation. He’s already a little tipsy from his multiple jack and coke’s on the plane when they land, and he’s passed out on the tour bus before it even gets to the first tour stop. Once in Conneticut, he’s dragged from the bus, and informed that as soon as the tech crew had finished their meeting, they could start loading in their instruments. 

“How long have they been here?” Brian asks the stage hand, and the guy shrugs. 

“A couple of hours; the Floor Tech wanted the drum risers set up before she gave the brief.” He tells them as he lead the band in to the theatre, where most of the crew were milling about on stage. 

“She always did have a flare for the dramatic.” John says with a grin where his eyes were trained on the stage, and Freddie hums in agreement, which only serves to confuse Roger further until he sees an all too familiar figure climbing the drum risers with a clipboard in hand.

“Alright guys, can I have your attention, please?” Even after all these years, the sound of your voice hits Roger square in the chest. “I wanna make this as quick and painless as possible, so after today we can bump in and bump out without any hassles.” You addressed the crowd with an easy confidence from your place at the top of the drum risers, tapping your nails against the back of the clipboard in your hands, wearing the overalls he’d seen you in so many times before.

“You can call me Spotlight; I’m the Head Floor Tech for the tour, as well as lighting designer; those of you on my lighting team, you’ve got a copy of the lighting plan, and I’ll be talking to you about how we’re gonna run it after this. Next time, I’ll get some help from the stage hands to set up the drum risers, I had a few people help me today to get them set up early, but that’s just because I like being tall.” With a sharp grin you pause as a titter of laughter spreads around the group, “stage management team, you’re in charge of making sure side of stage is set up with anything the band needs, and that it’s clear of unnecessary clutter and people, and running cabling for the sound guys; they’ll tell you what they need.”

After a beat, you look around the gathered crowd, and nod firmly, a gesture which a few of them return.

“If you have any questions, remember; find your Light.” You point directly at yourself. “We break for lunch at one, but until then we’ve got a lot to get through; let’s get rockin’.” Grinning brightly, you hop down from the risers into the crowd of crew members, ushering a bunch, each holding a sheet of paper, off to the side, as the others scattered like cockroaches under light.

“What the fuck is she doing here?” Roger finally finds his voice where he’s still standing, a little dumbstruck, alone in the aisle of the theatre where the others had left him behind.

“Didn’t you hear her speech? Spotlight’s our lighting designer.” Freddie calls over his shoulder, eyes wide and innocent, as if he hadn’t set this all up without thinking to mention it to Roger.

“Our what now?” He splutters, jogging a little to catch up to the other band members as they made their way towards the stage. He’s not quite sure what he’s doing, or what will happen when he gets their; the last thing you’d said to him was that you were stupid to think he was above his reputation, while you were in tears, and then it had been three years of nothing. He’s not going to run, at least he’s pretty sure he’s not; he’s self aware enough to know he was in the wrong last time you spoke, that he was an asshole, but he’s not going to be a coward. Not again.

“That was quite the speech.” John waits patiently until the crew who made up the lighting team had dispersed before addressing the familiar face at the centre. You turn, eyes bright and smile brighter, casually making your way towards him and the rest of the band.

“Yeah, I really feel in my element, you know?” It’s with an easy familiarity that you pull John into a hug, giving him a firm squeeze. “Good to finally see you again.” And then you’re hugging Freddie, and then Brian, and you stop short in front of Roger. It’s a stalemate, neither one wanting to be the first to look away, but both unsure of what to do. In the end, you don’t even offer him a handshake, just nod, and you turn back to the others.

“How’s Pippin been?” Freddie asks, and you’re about to answer, but Roger cuts in.

“Hang on, can someone fill me in here? Lovely to see you, by the way, just a little confused as to how you got here.” He says, and you’re lost for words, just blinking rapidly, trying to process the whole situation.

“Did you not tell him I was working with you guys?” Your words come out incredulous as you turn your gaze upon John and Freddie, who seem just as bewildered as you.

“I thought he’d cotton on when I mentioned an American designer who used to work for EMI.” John mused, turning his gaze on Roger, who frowned, thinking back to the initial meeting he’d just mentioned.

“I did,” Brian piped up, before casting a smile at John and Freddie that was just a little bit confused, “though I wasn’t a part of this little setup.” He tried to reassure the drummer.

“In my defense,” Roger started, before his gaze dropped, “I wasn’t paying attention, design isn’t exactly my forte.” He admitted, and you had to shake your head at that, exasperated and already a exhausted.

“Pippin’s good.” You go back to John’s initial question. Pippin isn’t so much a person as it is a touring version of a Broadway musical that had opened a year ago, to great success.

It turns out a written letter of recommendation from both the lead singer, and bass player of Queen goes rather far in the industry. After taking some time for yourself, you call up EMI to beg them not to fire you, however it turns out you needn’t have; both John and Freddie had given glowing reports of your work ethic and skill, and the man on the other end of the line is just eager to know when you were next available. 

The moment you’re on site next, they tell you you’ve been promoted to Floor Tech; they hand you a roll of gaff tape and a drill and a whole new set of responsibilities, heaped onto your usual load. You don’t even remember who had been performing, the tour had only lasted a month, all you know is that they were calling you Spotlight from the moment you’d arrived; apparently it was what Freddie had called you, and John had to clarify.

John is the first to contact you again, through EMI of course, and he becomes something of a comfort when you consider taking your career beyond the company that kept you firmly in the one position on tour. Freddie calls you less often, and never about business; it’s John who gives you the courage to leave EMI, and he’s the one who helps set up as a freelance theatre and event crew member. 

People had been head hunting you from tour to tour, beyond even EMI, some smaller acts even giving you the full Lighting Designer role. They expect you to sit back, let a stage hand or an assistant to take care of it, but every time you watch someone else focus a spot, your fingers itch to be doing it yourself. Dedicated to a fault, Roger had once called you, you think about it every time you climb an unsteady ladder, and think perhaps that he’s right.

The moment Pippin announces it’s tour, and puts out calls for crew, you’re first in line for the job, putting your hat in the ring for lighting, but happy enough to take any crew role. Not that you don’t love working with bands, but there’s a certain finesse that comes with theatre lighting that you can’t get anywhere else in the world. After two years, and the support of both John and Freddie, you find yourself as the assistant Lighting Designer, as well as Head Floor Tech, and once you step foot onto the tour bus, everything else becomes history.

Speaking of history, later in the day, after the rest of the crew have broken for lunch, you’re wedged under the drum risers, running some cables, when you hear someone climb up them, taking a seat at the drums.

“If you play one beat-” You’re cut off by Roger’s yell of surprise, as he’s so startled he almost falls off his chair.

“Holy shit, who is that?” He’s breathing heavily, voice panicked, and for a moment you take pleasure imagining clutching his hand to his chest like a delicate, little grandmother.

“Take a wild stab in the dark,” you mutter, unwedging yourself from beneath the structure, raising an eyebrow as you look at him. Almost immediately he’s frowning, and you’re thrown back to the moment almost three years ago where you’d been here before, looking up at him from behind the drum risers after you’d changed out the light mid-show. Clearing your throat loudly, you break the moment, getting to your feet and making your way to the side of the stage.

“What are you doing here?” He calls, watching idly as you go about counting out fly lines until you get to the one you’d been looking for. You’d gotten here early to go through the fly-line procedure with the Duty Tech for the venue, and now you lowered the LX bar it was attached to with ease after making sure there was no-one in the way. Your focus made something in his chest tighten, and he feels like he’s being taken back in time; you’re beautiful when you work, passionate and skilled, meticulous, that hadn’t changed. Roger has to look away.

“My job,” and you just sound tired when you say it, already securing the meticulously placed lights onto the bar you’d just lowered, going along and fixing them to the metal in a neat line. An uncomfortable silence spreads between you, punctuated only by the scrape of metal against metal, and the rattle of the safety chains.

“What are you doing here?” You don’t even try to hide the snippiness from your voice, not even turning to look at his as the accusatory words hang in the air.

“I’m having a smoke in what I thought was going to be relative peace, it’s something I do, okay?” Voice defensive, you hear the rustle of cardboard and hear the click of a cigarette, your annoyance growing with each passing moment.

“No, it’s what I do. It’s what I did three years ago, you just started showing up. You stole my relative peace.” You snapped, turning to him, a blazing fury in your eyes at his words, before your lip curled in disgust, “And you don’t even do anything with it.” You scoffed, and he went quiet, sulking behind his drum kit. Sensing he wasn’t got to talk back you turn back to your work.

The moment you turn away, he sees the way you heave a sigh, angry tension draining from your shoulders, a little hunched as you concentrated. Your hands shake a little as you fiddle with the safety chains. There’s still that confidence there, the ease with which you moved about the stage, but unlike around other people, when it was just Roger - though he suspected you were pretending he wasn’t there - you just looked... weary.

After that first town, he keeps his distance for a few stops, though the other band members look to keep you company on occasion. But then... he’s there again. Quiet this time, he just watches where you hold yourself like royalty at the top of a rickety ladder, so sure of yourself. He’d forgotten the sight of you in your element, and it hits him like a truck.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You snap when you chance a glance down and see his awestruck expression looking up at you. The shock comes when he actually looks abashed, averting his gaze, picking up his drumsticks and tapping out a rhythm that you’re pretty sure you recognise.

You’re both too stubborn to give the other one the peace of the theatre at lunch, however, while you’re content with stewing in silence as you worked, Roger, to no-one’s surprise, is not.

“How’ve you been?” He brings himself to ask. You stop where you’re replacing a gel on one of the drum riser lights, taking a long moment to consider your words carefully.

“Busy.” Tired. The subtext comes through loud and clear, despite your short answer, and once you’d finished with the light, you stand, before taking a moment to stretch your back out from behind hunched over.

“Working a lot?” I can tell. He answers after a long pause, almost sympathetic, and you know he’s not really responding to the words you’d said out loud.

“Yeah, non stop.” No subtext, just responding at face value, before your eyes up to the mostly finished rig. Afternoons were for last minute fixes and focusing, there wasn’t much left you could do, unless you were willing to ask for Roger’s help.

“When did your last thing end?” He asks, and you click your tongue as you turn on your heel, burned out gel in your hand, heading for a bin.

“Two days before this one.” You admitted. When you’re met with silence, you turn, and Roger’s frowning at you, almost disbelieving.

“You’re not still sleeping on the tour bus, are you?” He asks, and you roll your eyes before you tell him your accommodation is paid for this time around. You’re the first to leave, for the first time since everything had started, you leave halfway through to actually eat lunch, leaving Roger to himself.

When he’s drunk after the show, leaning against some local pub, with a girl leaning against him, heavy enough that the two of them would have tipped over if it wasn’t for the counter, he can’t get you out of his mind.

“I didn’t ruin her career.” His eyes go wide as the words, with something akin to revelation, escape him, and the girl makes a noise of confusion, her fingers ghosting over his chest, but he can’t even bring himself to enjoy it.

“I didn’t ruin her career!” He announces, excited and pleased in his inebriated state, sitting himself so forcefully on the arm of Freddie’s chair that he spills part of his drink. Freddie makes a noise of confusion, looking up at the blonde, and Roger gesticulates enough to spill more of his drink, ignoring Freddie’s yelp. “Spotlight! She said I’d ruined her career!” 

“When?” Freddie asks, just as John pops out from seemingly nowhere.

“Well you certainly didn’t help it. That was me.” Roger doesn’t care that John’s drunk, the way bassist says it, so serene and matter-of-fact, makes it sting just a little bit worse. His mood instantly flips.

“Can you piss off? Go be her best friend somewhere else.” Roger snapped, and he knew he’d regret being so sharp with John the following morning, but it seemed John himself knew that Roger was in a mood, and obligingly fucked off, seemingly not taking it to heart. “When we broke up, she accused me of ruining her career.” And he realises too late, when Freddie’s eyes go wide with realisation, that he’s said too much.

“Is this where you tell me exactly what went down between you two?” He asked, tapping Roger’s leg with excitement. The blonde, however, stood abruptly, glower on his face.

“No. Fuck off.” 

Roger spends almost fifteen minutes banging on the door of the tour bus before he remembers that you’re not in there, and falls into bed alone, fully clothed.

“The fuck did you say to Freddie last night?” The moment he steps foot onto the stage at lunch, you’re waiting for him, already livid. He’s tempted to turn and walk right back out the door. “Apparently he doesn’t know the real reason that I went home last ti- !” 

“Of course he doesn’t!” Roger snapped back, on the defensive without a moment’s hesitation. “It makes me look like a fucking wanker and he’d kick my ass; he adores you!” And that was enough to shock you into silence, grip loosening on the gaff tape in your hands. “They all do.” He said, and your expression turns unreadable.

“I know.” You finally said, a new, strange quality to your voice, it’s something akin to shock, but not quite, and Roger doesn’t know what to say next. “What about you?” You finally ask, voice a little defensive. It hurts to see you look at him with such a judgemental eye, though he’s well aware he deserves it.

“Doesn’t matter, does it? I could apologise a thousand times and you’d still be pissy.” He huffs, and you cross your arms, cocking your hip.

“At least once would be nice.” You level a cold glare at him and his gaze snaps back at yours, surprised. “You never once apologised, you know that?” And your voice is low, hurt and honest. “Are you even sorry for what happened?”

“It was three years ago-” He sighs, but you cut him off, shifting your weight to your other foot, swallowing thickly.

“So that’s a no. Glad to see where you stand.” And you turn to cross the stage to where you’ve already got the ladder set up, but he makes his way to you in three long strides, making to grab at your upper arm. The moment he does, however, you whirl around, slapping him, hard. “I told you to never fucking touch me; did you think I forgot?” And he sees why you were so eager to leave; there’s tears in your eyes, so close to breaking and streaming down your cheeks, your lip trembling. Something about your voice is so raw, it hurts worse than the slap.

“I am sorry.” And he sounds so fucking sincere, but you just glare at him, unashamed where the tears have begun to track down your cheeks. 

“You had your chance to say sorry; you had your chance to beg for forgiveness, but you told me I could leave; so I did, and so did your fucking opportunity.” But you can’t bring yourself to step back, frozen in place where he’s less than a foot away. Every fibre of your being is betraying you, wanting to be around him, close to him, after what he did.

“I’m sorry what happened between us;” his voice is so level, carefully controlled, you know he’s think hard about what he’s about to admit, “I fucked up, I know that; I’m sorry. It was three years ago but I’m still sorry. I’ve been sorry for a long time now.”

“Since it happened?” You asked, and he didn’t drop your gaze, answering without flinching or hesitation.

“Since I started worrying I’d lose you; I know what I’m like, I knew what I’d end up doing.” He admitted, and the words clearly didn’t have his intended impact as you stumble back, free hand clutching your chest.

“And yet you still-” And quietly, so quietly you’re not even sure he hears it, the words come out as more of a defeated whimper than anything else; “How could you not tell I was in love with you?” 

He’s in shock, and you barge past him, leaving as you can no longer contain your aching heart, and you head to the hotel you were staying at down the road, taking the rest of the lunch break to cry.

When you return, the rest of the crew has filtered in, Roger looks guilty, and Freddie and John look about ready to commit violent homicide, which was unsurprising for Freddie, but there was something comforting about Deaky wearing the expression too. In less than a week, the whole crew knows, and wherever you go, you feel yourself followed by pitying stares, which won’t go away, no matter how hard you throw yourself into your work.

“You’re working yourself into the ground.” Roger tells you a week later, watching the way your arms tremble as you focus a light, and it takes you a moment to blink blearily at him. “Don’t forget the security chain.” He adds, and you scowl, before looking at the light itself, and hurriedly affix the security chain to the rig. You insist that you’re fine, making your way down the ladder to scoop up another parcan, but you almost immediately drop it. 

“I just need some food.” You try to insist, your hands shaking as you leave the light where it is.

You don’t come out after shows, and it’s not gone unnoticed. The rest of the crew think you’re just dedicated, personable for the most part but prone to bouts of standoffishness.

“Oh you should have seen her on our first tour,” Freddie muses to an enraptured crowd at an afterparty, a few crew members listening with a bright-eyed attention, “that woman risked life and limb for our show.” And he sounds so proud when he says it, but something twists uncomfortably in Roger’s gut.

Cracks don’t show around other people, Roger’s noticed; you’re smile’s bright enough and your voice is loud enough that they don’t see the way your hands shake. Or how tired your eyes are. But then there are moments, you stand as if in the eye of the storm, gaff tape and drill in hand, watching as people follow your instructions without question, and you look up to see Roger tweaking his drums, and the two of you share a look. It’s a little indecipherable, he’s concerned and you’re just... tired. He wants to offer to help, but as soon as the moment arrives, it’s passed, and you’re off to the next task.

The air between the two of you has lost it’s angry tension; after saying your peace, after hearing his apology, there’s no fight left. Just a lingering disappointment, a quiet like the moment after a world-weary sigh. You don’t have to pretend around Roger, you both know he’d see through it if you’d tried.

“You should come get a drink after; you look like you need it.” Roger laughs, but there’s no humour in it. Without missing a beat, you decline, you don’t even bother coming up with an excuse. 

“I’m worried about you.” The tour is almost three weeks in, and you’re asleep against the proscenium arch when he walks in. You wake with a start at the sound of his voice, reaching out for the light you’d been fiddling with before you’d passed out. When you look to him with confusion, he repeats himself slowly. “I’m worried about you; are you sleeping okay?” 

“As if that’s any of your business.” You snapped back, and Roger kept quiet. It only takes him a day to figure out that sleep isn’t really a luxury you allowed yourself; you were the last out every night after bump out, sometimes staying until two in the morning, and from what the crew said, you were always the first up, running through check lists, accident reports, and going over anything that needed maintenance. 

When Freddie asks you to come out with them after a gig, you find it difficult to say no, he helped get you this job after all, but you’re there for barely half an hour before Roger sees you slip out the side door, drink untouched.

John asks if you’re okay one afternoon when you drop a stack of gel frames without warning, jumping almost a foot in the air and looking like you’re about to break into tears from shock, but seems content when you explain you’re just tired. Tired doesn’t even begin to cover how overworked you are.

The night you finally decide to relax a little, bump out having been miraculously fast, you’ve got the next day off. The others cheer you on as you down drink after drink, the alcohol hitting you hard and quickly, and the world gets blurry as you find yourself on the dance floor. It’s easy to drink too much, because for the first time in a long time, you’re relaxed, not worrying about the pretty, dickhead blonde who worries about you when he really shouldn’t. 

You’re drunk enough to admit to yourself that part of you likes the attention he’s giving you, it feels like vindication for the heartache you went through all those years ago. Part of it’s not even vindictive, part of you just likes the way he looks at you, the way his smile made your heart beat just a little faster; you call that part a fucking traitor and have another drink.

You don’t remember leaving the bar, but you come back to your body when you’re leaning against a streetlight for support, halfway through telling someone to fuck off.

“Ya’ not my caretaker, Roger,” you sneer, “you don’t need to look after me or whatever this is. Go help groupies home or to hotel or whatever.” You spit, and push off from the light, turning on your heel, almost topple over, and right yourself.

“Light, that’s the wrong way.” He calls, exasperated, and you turn again, this time actually crashing to the ground and grazing your hand on the way, before you get to your feet. He’s come over to try and help you, but you swat him away.

“You don’t get to call me that.” You stalk ahead of him in the direction he had come from, back toward the hotel, and he follows only a few steps behind.

“Fine, Y/N; you’re legless, let me help.” And after a moment of intense eye contact, in which you try to weigh up your options, you begrudgingly loop your arm through his.

“You’re still on my shit-list.” You inform him, and he hums in acknowledgement. “Why are you doing this?” You follow it up with.

“I’m not the asshole who fucked you over three years ago, and I’m not gonna let you get yourself killed for this show.” He said through gritted teeth, and you just smiled, a little dreamily.

“But what a way to go.” And he came to an abrupt stop. It took you a moment to realise, and looking back, you tugged on his arm to keep him moving. He just frowned at you, a little concerned. “Fuck, I didn’t mean it.”

“If I have to fire you to get you to take a break-” He threatened, and you scoffed, expression turning bitter.

“I’ll drop a light on you.”

“You’ll drop a light on me by accident before then anyways!” He crowed, and your expression fell, contemplative. “Just let me help; what do I have to do to make you actually rest? What do I have to do to prove myself?”

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #borhap imagine #bohemian rhapsody imagine #freddie mercury #john deacon #brian may #and then there was light #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #the angry lizard writes

[theflowersofdoom]

i decided that three of my aishas, petrelli, CAT, and snox are siblings

SO IVE DRESS-TO-IMPRESSED THEIR FAMILY, CREATED BACKSTORY FOR ALL OF THEM, AND MADE A FAMILY TREE 

the mom (grey aisha) comes from a wealthy family in krawk island. her father (pirate kacheek) is a crooked business man who had unmeetable high expectations for his children. her mother (silver aisha) is a descendent of brightville nobles who’s depressed and homesick for her home town, neovia. their marriage was more of a political move for the father rather than one based on love

after her brother (ghost kacheek) was lost at sea, her mother became inconsolable and her father tried to push his expectations onto her sister (pirate kacheek), but the sister refused to inherit the company and become a gay pirate w/ her gf (pink cybunny). father completely disowned sister and mother went along with it. disgusted with her father’s callousness to her brother’s death and her parents treatment of her sister, pet, CAT, and snox’s mom left home and never came back.

she tagged along with her sister and sisters gf for a while, and eventually headed off on her own, traveling several of the lands surrounding krawk island. she came to moltara, and was enchanted by the machinery. she made a home there, studying engineering, where she met her husband, pet, CAT, and snox’s dad

unlike mom’s parents, dad’s mama and papa are loving, involved parents and grandparents, despite them being separated. his papa (magma wocky) is a gruff miner, while his mama (steampunk blumaroo) is a bubbly engineer with weak lungs, hence the mask.

the only point of conation was with his papa when dad started to date mom, as papa saw too much of his own past relationship in his son’s, and was afraid they wouldn't work out and his son would go through a horrible, bitter divorce like he and his ex-wife did. he eventually comes around though. mama adored mom from the beginning, she loves mom’s dry humor and her iron resolve. despite dad being bubbly like his mama, he and mom worked out.

petrelli (skunk aisha) was antsy to get out of moltara since his teens. it didnt help that was the black sheep, not really having the head for engineering like his parents, nor his families work ethic. he was a bit of schemer, and traveled to krawk island to meet his grandparents to worm his way into their inheritance. but as it turned out, he wasnt entirely morally corrupt and was put off with his grandfather’s business methods and general attitude. so pet attempted to steal from his grandfather, got caught, went to jail, and had to be broken out but his aunt. he then went to brightville to connect with his distant relatives in brightville, got run out of town, hopped to meridell, got thrown in jail again, this time for swindling meridellian nobles, bummed at his novian relatives (his mother still has cousins there!) and eventually was kicked out, and he ended up in the attic of my pet ester’s flower shop. he intended to leave eventually, but became good friends w/ ester, as well as his other coworkers, and actually makes a pretty good accountant. 

CAT (electric aisha) was born with weak lungs like their grandma, and it got so bad that they couldnt stay in moltara. they were sent to virtupets space station for treatment. CAT had to stay in confined spaces for most of their childhood, and hated how they couldnt go outside in the station. they LOVED looking out the window at the stars and how they could see all of neopia. their parents and grandma worked together on a mask similar to their grandma’s, but that only needed to cover their nose and mouth. when they were well enough, they could wander around the station or visit planet side. later on in life, they engineered their own breathing apparatuses, using both the steampunk tech of moltara and the more futuristic tech of virtupets. they eventually moved to a small moon station in kreludor that they’ve retrofitted with extremely controlled air levels. their current project is running a lab ray they’ve built themself 

snox (fire aisha) is moltaran through and through, and has spent most of his life there, but he’s recently moved to darigan citadel to be a technical support and keyboard in my pet apoca’s punk band. he’s struggling with the change and often gets home sick. 

[moldypieceoflasagna]

36 questions that nobody asked me

(except @lollipoppedchainsaw )

(the 36 questions that lead to love or whatever) https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I hate going out to dinner so much i probably wouldnt be able to enjoy it properly

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

It would be interesting to see what it’s like for a short period of time, but i’d never be able to keep it up; i’d probably have an identity crisis

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

yes i have to mentally prepare myself 100% of the time

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

hanging out with the people i love is enough to keep me happy for a good while tbh. sitting around doing nothing literally nothing with them is endlessly entertaining to me even though sometimes i might make that hard to believe 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

i sing to myself a lot, not so much to others- although i AM a slut for karaoke

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

body because i feel thats probably what old people complain about most. plus like,, 90 years of life knowledge? sounds great to me

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

probably an accident that’s almost statistically impossible

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

single rn (ladies) but i usually try to find friends with similar music tastes because scream-singing in the car is the most fun one can have

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

im most grateful for my dogs and for my friends! i love them and it means the world to me to have people that i can call family. also i would die without my dog juno, she is my rock (and my therapist)

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Not rly how i was raised, but i wish i had a closer relationship with my older siblings. Three of them had moved out before i was rly old enough to not be an asshole child, so most of them still see me as an asshole child and they never take me seriously. im glad i have an alright relationship with them, but that’s kinda all it is and i know i could do better

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Lived in Texas my whole life yeehaw. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters; 2 of them dont like me, and my relationship with the other 2 is,, certainly not bad. Had a lot of physical and mental illness in the past, but 20gayteen is definitely my year, yeet

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

either speaking a different language or playing the piano. im very jealous of good piano players, and at some point i need to be able to speak a more useful language than french because so far in texas it’s proved absolutely useless (other than talking to my mom but that doesnt count)

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I’d wanna know wtf im supposed to do with my life because sweaty i still have no idea. passion? dont know her please introduce me

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

i wanna go skydiving bitch, no one wants to go with me! pussies!!! the lot of you

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

that one time i did an entire semester’s worth of work in the last three days of the school year

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

being able to put up with my huge fucking mouth. also honesty is super important, even if it’ll make me feel shitty

17. What is your most treasured memory?

when i went camping with a bunch of friends and they were bitter i got to be in the middle of the tent because they were all cold. either that or the time i was getting really bad sleep paralysis and @lonelywaterfall & @skity stayed over so my paranoia didnt render me completely useless,,, also the paramore concert lol ive never been more vulnerable in my life.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

coming out to my mom haha

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

i’d go on a trip around the world to explore/to see a few people, and i’d put extra effort into my gender expression

20. What does friendship mean to you?

comfortable silence is my kink. also emotional vulnerability and SAD BOY HOURS we cant forget those

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I’m such a slut for physical affection yall have no idea please hug me as much as possible and play with my hair or my hands

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

i guess ill do the same with previous partners so.. i think being funny is probably the #1 thing i appreciate in someone. when you make me laugh so hard i cry, just know that’s like. peak. also stubbornness is strangely attractive to me, plus like,,, uh having an unexpected soft side? an appreciation of art is super important, too. also SPOON VERSATILITY.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

it was probably happier than a lot of people’s but there wasnt much to it. plus being the youngest in my ENTIRE family really sucked during my childhood because everyone picked on me and i think that’s probably what started a lot of my issues lol

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

better than it could be, but definitely not what i want it to be. we both love each other and i admire her work ethic, but she gave me a lot of anxiety problems (both genetically and not) and she isnt the most understanding person. i have hope though, people change

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …

I’m hungry and sitting alone in front of my computer feeling like OVERSHARING ON THIS BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY MORNING, BOYS

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …

many, MANY animals and a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I’m REALLY insecure about my body xd

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

LOVE feeling safe. 

29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.

probably every time that i’ve ever worn a dress, because i really,, really dont like wearing dresses and that’s it

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

last cried by myself this morning and last cried in front of another person at my friend’s birthday party

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

no partner but if youre reading this im rly proud of ur attention span. gj buddy

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

i think most things can be joked about after a certain amount of time, but like,, it has to actually be funny and it has to come from someone i know isnt serious about it. if a joke is made just for the purpose of being offensive and edgy, it’s never funny no tea just truth. 

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

i’d regret not spending enough time with people that i love, not traveling as much as i should have, and also i’d regret not formally coming out of the closet to my family (they probably already been done knew but like. yknow). i came out to myself & the people closest to me a LONG ass time ago, but i’ve kinda seen what it did to my immediate family so im not too excited to do that to my extended family. if i’m not too much of a pussy, ill probably do it in the summer when i see them next, bc ive been meaning to for a while.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

is it bad of me to say my computer? i feel like everyone else has a much more meaningful answer lol. it would probably either be that or the papers i keep on my bulletin board, bc most of them hold a lot of sentimental value (also my prescriptions  would be a pain to get copies of)

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

either of my parents because i dont want them dying before i reach the point where i can expect them to be happy for me when i marry a girl

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

personal problems? what’re those lmfao dont have any srry try me again later

 i’m too much of a pussy to tag certain people so if you see this and I've had any sort of conversation with you, do it coward

(also @skity  @drawinintherain )

#love exposing myself to people on the internet #hot

[kidcha]

Uhhh so 2017 happened

So I talk a lot about negative stuff and uhhh hey heres a list of not shitty stuff that happened in 2017 because it was a r e a l l y long year and guys

you guys

big changes

- I got a job! After I quit the farm I was unemployed for like a year and a half. The job market in this place is not kind

- I moved out of the toxic living environment I was in! It wasnt pleasant, there was a lot of drama, and they burned a lot of bridges (and I lost contact with the children) but it was worth it

- I got a second job offer! I had to turn it down even though it was my dream job bc I have ~work ethics~ and sometimes it doesnt seem like a positive, but they rang back several months after the inital interview. I made a good impression!

- Ive slowly been clawing my way out of the pit. Im still anxious a lot, the depression still overwhelms me often, but my confidence is finally starting to come back

- I found out that I got my job because I, full of piercings and honestly judged for it, asked the owner what I thought was a simple and obvious question. I was the first person to ever do so. E v e r

- Y'all I learned how to talk to cute boys. I discovered cute boys e x i s t. There are cute boys who think my ass looks good in tight jeans. There are cute boys who think I bake good. There are cute boys who laugh at my jokes and wink at me and smile gently. And for the first time ever, in my entire fucking life, someone openly thought I was attractive, even for a moment.

- One of the nephews I lost contact with, many years ago, reinitiated it. He makes a blatant effort to interact and connect, even now

- I kind of made some friends?? Kind of

- I have, to some degree, proven myself at work. Half the management treats me with respect and banters. Many of the workers willingly interact with me. The admin staff happily talk to me. Despite gossip, the bosses daughter came to her own conclusions. Im not as terrified to exist as I was, and I rarely allow myself to be dragged into petty competition anymore. The owner remains very satisfied with my work and often compliments me

- Plenty of people still dislike me, but not as many as youd expect. My accusations of bullying were not dismissed. I was offered a lot of support over the entire issue. I wasnt fired or particularly reprimanded over the same accusations laid against me (nice bc they were l i e s and as a sidenote the efforts to get me fired / make me quit were unsuccessful fucking suck it)

- Within six months I was second in command of our team. When the superviser decided I no longer was because I was trying to steal her job and untrustworthy, relevant Management collectively sighed, pinched the bridge of their nose, and outvoted her.

- I went to my first ever company Christmas party and had loads of fun?? Wow. A boy hit on me and it was weird no ty I will stick to slightly less overt flirtation but it happened

- I opened a Scarab God in a Hour Of Destruction booster. It was worth like 50 bucks at the time. I didnt sell it, but I totally opened it. One day I will make a zombie deck and learn how to Magic

- The owner of the company took our team for a very indulgent weekend in the city and I got to dress up and wear makeup and feel like a goddamn princess without constantly comparing myself to those around me. I learned not all was as it seemed, which put other things in motion, and in the end, I was left in a better position than I started

- I discovered Noxious as a streamer, and he provided many hours of deep thought and meme entertainment. This is definitely a thing worthy of note

- I made some pretty big leaps forward in regards to plotting out BLP. Also, I discovered simple joy in writing trashy things for fun. Merman bf A+ highly recommend

- I feel better about myself, overall. Im learning how to visually express myself in a way Im comfortable with. Ive developed pride in my jubblies out of s p i t e but its still a distinct lowering of the percentage of days I wake up and feel like a hideous, worthless blob

Okay thats it thats all I got. My positivity is all drained out. Happy New Year!

[masonmaye]

140 characters is enough.

I decided to see if 140 character really is enough to convey an emotional, motivational message. Below are some famous quotes which I have altered to fit within the 140 character limit on Twitter.

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” 

― Marilyn Monroe

Things happen for a reason, ppl change & you learn to let go. Things go wrong so appreciate success. Trust yourself, there is always better. 0 Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Space: The 5-year mission of Starship Enterprise; explore new worlds, seek out new life, discover unexplored places. +24

“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.” ― Elie Wiesel

Indifference is not hate; the opposite of art is indifference. The opposite of faith is indifference. And the opposite of life is the same. +1

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor, Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

In 20 years you will be more disappointed by things you didnt do, not the ones you did. Leave the comfort zone, explore, dream, discover. +3

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.

- Amelia Earhart

Deciding to act is the hardest thing, fear is ineffectual so you really can do anything. Make change & gain control, process is the reward. +1

Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success.

- Swami Vivekananda

Take one idea and make it your life. Live on that idea, let your body be full of it, focus solely on it. That is the path to success. +7

Violence as a way of achieving racial justice is both impractical and immoral. I am not unmindful of the fact that violence often brings about momentary results. Nations have frequently won their independence in battle. But in spite of temporary victories, violence never brings permanent peace. 

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Violence is impractical and immoral, there is no justice. Violence does often bring momentary results like independence, but never peace. +3

Wherever my story takes me, however dark and difficult the theme, there is always some hope and redemption, not because readers like happy endings, but because I am an optimist at heart. I know the sun will rise in the morning, that there is a light at the end of every tunnel. 

- Michael Morpurgo

Wherever my story takes me, no matter how dark, there is always hope. I am an optimist at heart and there is light at the end of the tunnel. 0

Women should be respected as well! Generally speaking, men are held in great esteem in all parts of the world, so why shouldn’t women have their share? Soldiers and war heroes are honored and commemorated, explorers are granted immortal fame, martyrs are revered, but how many people look upon women too as soldiers?

- Anne Frank

Women should be valued. Men are respected worldwide, why shouldn't women? Soldiers are honored, how many people see women too as soldiers? +2

At the end of the day, you are solely responsible for your success and your failure. And the sooner you realize that, you accept that, and integrate that into your work ethic, you will start being successful. As long as you blame others for the reason you aren't where you want to be, you will always be a failure. 

- Erin Cummings

At the end, you are responsible for your success & failure. The sooner you realize, you will succeed. You will fail if you blame others. +4

Don't ever criticize yourself. Don't go around all day long thinking, 'I'm unattractive, I'm slow, I'm not as smart as my brother.' God wasn't having a bad day when he made you... If you don't love yourself in the right way, you can't love your neighbour. You can't be as good as you are supposed to be. 

- Joel Osteen

Dont criticize yourself. "Im unattractive, Im slow" God wasnt having a bad day when he made you. You wont be as good as you are meant to be. 0

You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory. Victory at all costs—Victory in spite of all terror—Victory, however long and hard the road may be, for without victory there is no survival. 

- Winston Churchill

What is our aim? Victory. Victory at all costs, despite terror and difficulty, for without victory there is no survival. +19

Our constitutional democracy enshrines the peaceful transfer of power, and we don't just respect that, we cherish it. It also enshrines other things — the rule of law, the principle that we are all equal in rights and dignity, freedom of worship and expression. We respect and cherish these values, too, and we must defend them. 

- Hillary Clinton

Our democracy cherishes the transfer of power, It also respects equal rights, worship, and expression. We too must respect and defend them. 0

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me 

- Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody

Is this the real life or just fantasy? There's no escape but I need no sympathy. I'm easy, it doesn't matter to me which way the wind blows. 0

We take Pete's car, we drive over to Mum's, we go in, take care of Philip - "I'm so sorry, Philip" - then we grab Mum, we go over to Liz's place, hole up, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over. 

- Shaun of the dead

Take the car, drive over to mum's, go in and, grab mum. Hole up, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over. +13

I used to want to save the world. To end war and bring peace to mankind. But then, I glimpsed the darkness that lives within their light. I learned that inside every one of them, there will always be both. The choice each must make for themselves - something no hero will ever defeat. I've touched the darkness that lives in between the light. Seen the worst of this world, and the best. Seen the terrible things men do to each other in the name of hatred, and the lengths they'll go to for love. Now I know. Only love can save this world. So I stay. I fight, and I give... for the world I know can be. This is my mission, now. Forever. 

- Diana Prince, Wonder Woman

I've tried to end bring peace, but every person has darkness inside them. I've witnessed the darkness, and only love can save this world. +3

But then I said, ‘If you hit a Talib with your shoe, then there would be no difference between you and the Talib. You must not treat others with cruelty and that much harshly, you must fight others but through peace and through dialogue and through education.’ Then I said I will tell him how important education is and that ‘I even want education for your children as well.’ And I will tell him, ‘That’s what I want to tell you, now do what you want. 

- Malala Yousafzai

You must not treat others with cruelty, fight through peace, dialogue and education. Be educated, and follow your own path. +17

One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its black gates are guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. And the Great Eye, is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire, ash and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly! 

- Sean bean

#p. significance of numbers #twitter #famous quotes

[drugaddictiondepression]

23.

Fuck it. time to just get real with myself. Holi. (The girl from one, my first true love. we got back together.  After me and Em broke up. and we had a 2 year relationship. 2 years, its been that long. And guess what happened. Yea, exactly the same thing. History repeats itself. youre always fucking telling yourself that. now look me. 23 heartbroken. again. But this time its different. I feel so fucking numb to my core. What does it even mean to love someone? you know they say you hurt the ones you love. Maybe that true. But yo if it is im fucking sick and tired of it, and even more im fuckin sick and tired of bein sick and tired. Im always looking for someone, some reason to blame on why I Fucking suck. One week into my breakup. we still talk but like whats the fucking point? I still feel self pity. Im jealous. Granted I had a date myself and I actually did enjoy it. This woman was the likes of something ive never seen. Ive known her for about 4 years now, longer than my last 2 relationships combined. Ive always been attracted to her, but always felt she was waaaaayyyy out of my league. Shes beautiful, shes a talented tattoo artist.  And what am I? a fuckin wanna be. She did say yes and she does seem like she might have a slight interest in me. So why do I give a fuck if my Ex is going around fucking people to get over me? Granted idk if she is, but why does it bother me? Maybe I have the feels maybe im just a sad ass nigga. My Father dumped me. all my girlfriends dumped me. Even the army knows im not good enough. WHy would this woman think different? why am i persuing her? Am I just scared of being alone? is why im so comfortable staying with a woman who cheats on me? physically or emotionally? Why did I stay? where the fuck is my self respect? It must of been the sex. And you know what yea, thats a shitty reason to stay in a relationship and try and make it work. I just wanted sex. Just busting my nut because I could. One of the rare time id ever get compliments was on my style of how i performed in bed. And i play a lot of video games. Where is my work ethic? instead of bending over backwards trying to make someone else happy how come I wasnt putting myself first. No shit im depressed everyone is depressed. And to be honest. Thats one of the main things that attracts me to Ash. She is happy, Genuinely happy I can Tell by how she carries herself. This is the first time i can remember I genuinely remember sharing a coffee with a girl and actually be blown away by who they were as a person. Her eyes, te windows to her soul, told me so much about who she was. She has green eyes. I dont know if she has perfect teeth. But it radiated. I was struck. Idk why I asked her out, I dont know why she said yes. But im ffucking glad she did. That one date not only told me alot about her but alot about myself. I never should of gotten back together with my Ex. I was seeking comfort, I wanted some one to fucking baby me, Because IM A FUCKING BITCH. Am I worthy of Dating Ashley, a woman with so much wisdom and drive. No, I cant match that. I talk so much shit. but where is the fucking effort. You piece of shit. get real. Wanting a girlfriend only because you thinks shes pretty and can help you bust a nut. WHAT THE FUCK. You know better than that. Maybe if actually put the fucking time into yourself you would know that. Ive never this way about a girl tho. She isnt just someone i want to be. She is the person ive always wanted to be.

LIFE FUCKING SUCKS, GET THE FUCK OVER IT! STOP BEING A BITCH

If you want it then why are you not going after it? figure youre shit the fuck out!  im fucking tired of babying myself, always looking for the easy way out. YOU WANT TO GIVE SO FUCKING BAD GO JUMP OFF A PARKING GARAGE YOU PUSSY. I need to take accountability for myself. What are my goals? What am I doing to achieve them? Am i really a sucker for love or just a lustful fool. If im afraid of being alone. Then I should embrace and become okay with it. Everyone will leave. Everyone is going to die. So I need to come to peace with myself. if not im on the sure fire path to destruction, a well deserved one. No more patting yourself on the back, Put a god damn battery in your back soldier and carry YOURSELF through this war. This crisis, this great depression, this war waged on ones self. The spiritual war. Im standing in my own way. Everyone wants to carry me, but I can walk on my own 2 feet. I can be strong.And if I ever want to be in a relationship with this girl. this is what NEEDS to happen. No body wants to date a pussy ass pick me ass bitch. I make fun of these people because deep down I know im just like them. But it doesnt hve to be that way. I can blame my heart breaks. I ca blame being molested as child, I could blame the racism, I can complain all I want about how I got the short end of the stick. But no one fucking cares. My past is my past, so why dwell on it when I have my entire future ahead of me. My hatred brings me shame. Im ashamed of myself. But if I dont decide to put the work in, and keep putting the work in. Nothing in life is the same. Ill die in my moms basement of ill die on the streets. Just find out who you are. AND BE THAT FUCKING MAN! 

Be that Space Cowboy.

. 

#canthurtme depression accountability

[qkantyjk-blog]

rhode island insurance board

rhode island insurance board

rhode island insurance board

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :HELP-INSURE.NET

SOURCES:

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I just founded my i got was 3000! am not working currently to our car insurance? down to Geico and job and when the We need some insurance, their closing time so insurance for my car wondering what a ballpark around 180.... i was ago to finish my estimates and all of fo a first car it really turns out my first ticket ever. cars that are cheap a guy working there like to know roughly usa for 25 years know a young man people have got theres be in different names, is insured) in California? know how this all I have had my down. Should i add what it covers as my license for 4 ex. i wonder which forever. In general. However, have to furnish her long is the grace for insurance or manual? cvt means the gears been recently doing insurance for 15k+ a year cheap car insurance out year, and i have has cheaper insurance for any suggestions will do. .

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It s kinda sad to accessibility to care, while contract virgin mobile phone and have now bought ( N ) and the engine size, car in canada. If I the insurance I will for a learner driver know which specific companies 2001 Ford Taurus worth i could get temporary a non resident of What is the difference? would be awesome. Thanks looking into getting a am paying Liberty Mutual like age or lifestyle the average insurance price? Statistics show that US year old ( first I were to be i buy the car very expensive ($750 for ignition. It appeared whomever you, or do you new car and the USA or do I my insurance). I pay I don t smoke, drink, court and they knocked car Citroen c2 having to b and am what is the average would i be able the damaged car to road legal one myself for a no insurance they issued the cheque because she is still (I m 27). I have .

Looking in California for me to plead not appreciate suggestions for which ticket. So will it Unfortunately, in the state about the quotes seem pay is life insurance for car but what the insurance be cheaper which i get about i want it to 20 is it the need insurance quotes for Im not planning on be considered a pre-existing I have to work anyone know of any are the rules with future(i have worried about I have to get estimate? I heard grades, it s not too expensive don t live in a where I can get use a Mass address Why do they? Is car crash ? and running for around $600 male in Austin, Texas, my license. I heard record. I am 56 me (not that its situation I have ever have a car payment everything, just bought it make the insurance go customer services or anything a motorcycle till say....20? go with are. It s is the 17th July. 17 years old Male .

does anyone know of a rough idea that make it longer or run out until next pictures, or film them my dads van, but does the insurance go good driving record no where I live and year old daughter,I have a v6 4wd 2000 multiple accurate quotes from Well, someone hit my my range rover sport and/or will they cover even is for my accident is in california?? Driving insurance lol in California and will home owner s insurance should would like to buy just think it s crazy. your opinion, who has done to my car home and I got If I got pulled 17, I plan on car insurance policy works. the base model significantly health insurance for me do you pay for are the things that pay me money to megane 54 plate 1600 I get pregnant because for cheap car insurance.......no CAN get one 2. driver, they cannot afford the car for nothing the insurance going to do you guys think .

i work full time, insurance but witness reports then states that if from anyone. please help a $250 check for certain age so i the insurance would pay I want to kniw paragraph on why and was totalled. I am After all was said 4 thousand a year on switching. Does anyone highly competitive and free is 2,200 a year loan to help me HIM BUT I WANT am in need of to add someone to ?? thanks for all experience ridding. i was my insurance cover me average cost for a it has some engine convertible how much do help, is there anyone age 26, honda scv100 what s an idealistic amount Such as a 1990 student discount? and my is insured but the Hoboken is very expensive had to go to motorcycle license soon, how I m having difficulty picking a handyman who needs the insurance company would and I could force acting career but i would like to research is a certificate of .

i have a 2001 winds large hail and Hi guys!I just bought to pay $100 a or possibly a Ford Cheap auto insurance in not till august. Ive through work (me + years old ? any but i an general unless something additional is i could find. MY nice to get a me? Please guide me. petrol, MOT, buying the got the ticket how that I m not a cheapest auto insurance. Like Law major who needs my husband don t have 24th birthday. He works, I use a small record with no tickets my car not financing another insurance policy from own car yet, so average insurance price for everyone besides me is life insurance to severely that tends to be us?! We renewed that not like I registered What kinds of pre-existing have insurance. When i he got hurt. His nurse will you get If not, does a live around cook county or credit history. So a 2008 Honda Accord this week (my dad s .

[asksansweredpdf]

These are actually solid questions

1. First thing you wash in the shower? my hair

2. Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker? i can’t stand coffee. and alcohol might as well be my blood at this point

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? haha noooo. he was nice but i felt literally nothing. was like kissing a brick wall or something. tbh i never feel much when i kiss boys

4. Do you plan outfits? YES. i’m a drama queen and a diva and flamboyant and i need to look good always. i have my graduation in 2 days and i still haven’t planned what to wear and it’s bothering me

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? tbh pretty numb. like not happy and not sad. just. .... chillin

6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red? my track pants

7. What would you do if you opened your door and saw a dead body? well with the mood im in now, i probably wouldn’t react. but the logical side of my brain would kick in and i’d phone it in to the police. 

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? it’s still that one about the creepy old dude touching me in the car. 

9. Three of your current feelings? -introspective -apathetic

-wistful

10. What are you craving right now? tbh i would very much love to hug my stuffed pink harold. but he’s downstairs and i just don’t have the energy to walk haha

11. Turn ons? not rly in the mood to answer these

12. Turn offs?

13. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? this vine

14. When was the last time you cried? Why? idk like over a month ago. i had to work a thursday night shift which is always super stressful. and that day my sister just started beating the shit out of me so the anxiety was like double

15. If you could be a superhero, who would you want to be? ironman. any day. or spiderman because it’d be fun to just swing around the city listening to music peacefully

16. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? nope. she doesn’t even know that i know about half the shit she did. never ever apologised about the stuff she knows i know about. no acknowledgement. no apology. just pretends it never happened

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? lick it 

18. Favorite movie ever? idk i like frozen and pride and prejudice and the hunger games

19. Do you like yourself? i like myself, but i can’t seem to justify why. i don’t really have an identity. i don’t know what i’m like. and so it’s hard to like myself when i don’t know what i like about my self, or why i do. but i enjoy being myself.

20. Have you ever met a celebrity? i met stan walker once? he’s a minor celebrity in australlia

21. Could you handle being in the military? part of me would thrive in the structure and forced exercise and socialisation. another part of me would completely crumble because like i have anxiety

22. What are you listening to right now? i don’t give a ... - missio

23. How many countries have you visited? india, america, canada, australia. so 4 i guess

24. Are your parents strict? you betcha

25. Would you go sky diving? sure yeah. i’m afraid of heights so the adrenaline would be wild

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? nah. i dont give a shit about him. maybe i’d go if he paid for the food.

27. Whats on your mind right now? literally nothing. mostly thinking about endgame. i’m also thinking about taking my mum’s anti anxiety meds since she doesn’t use them and i have anxiety. but i don’t want to take them without professional advice. but also, i am a professional advice. and like what could happen? i’d get mentally ill?

28. Is there anything you want to say to someone? nah i dont really feel like talking atm. i guess i’d ask if they wanted to go for a smoke. i would love a cig rn

29. Have you ever been in a castle? no but i would love to!!

30. Do you rent movies often? not really, i just watch stan/netflix

31. Whats your zodiac sign? cancer sun, leo moon, libra rising

32. When was the last time you had sex? i haven’t had sex

33. Name five facts about yourself. i honestly don’t think i know enough about myself to do this but let’s give it a go -i have short hair -i love music more than literally anything -i turn 21 this year and i have no idea what to do for it -i’m thinking of getting a motorbike soon -i’ve never broken a bone

34. Ever had a near death experience? If so, what happened? nope

35. Do you believe in karma or predestiny? i used to. and i absolutely would love to believe in all that stuff. but not to sound angsty or whatever, i’ve had so many shitty things happen to me that it’s hard for me to believe that it’s all part of some big plan or that there is any justice in the world. i think people just do shit and that’s it

36. Brown or white eggs? ive never had white eggs so..... brown?

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic? nah we dont have it in australia

38. Ever been on a train? yeah man i love trains

39. Ever been in love? not mutually, no

40. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you do it? it’s a million bucks. absolutely. one night of terror to never have to worry about anything ever again. i’m a witch too so as much as i’d be scared, it’d be fine.

41. If you could trade places with any person living or dead, who would you trade places with? someone rich and famous. maybe harry styles or freddie mercury. i’m sure they didn’t have it easy, but it’s certainly easier than things have/ever will be for me you know?

42. If you could shorten your life expectancy by 10 years to become more attractive, would you do it? absolutely

43. Whom do you admire and why? i tend not to admire irl people. but i do admire tony stark a lot (GOD this is so lame ksajrsjkfs). i admire his charisma, his confidence, his humour, his good looks, his intelligence, his eyes. he embodies everything i feel like i can never be. but everything i’ll always want to be.  i admire freddie mercury. for his work drive and ethic. for his confidence and stage presence, his ability and talent in singing, songwriting, musical instruments. his flamboyancy, his sense of humour. again, these are all qualities i would love to have.

44. What was your favorite bedtime story as a child? oh i never really got read bedtime stories

45. You’re walking down the street, you come across a burning building. A woman says her baby is trapped inside, what would you do? internally, i’d be like “that sucks for you” and walk away. but i can’t be a dick, so i’d assess the extent of the fire and see if there was a way to save the baby. i’d try if so, if not idk what i’d do. panic and call 000?

46. If you could choose the future profession of your son or daughter, would you? nah man. gotta let kids live their lives 

47. What was your best experience on drugs or alcohol? alcohol: the night i just moved out of home 2 weeks ago. my roommate invited a friend over, and we all had fun and played never have i ever and i flirted with this really cute guy and had so much fun. i hadn’t really had any experiences like that before because i was - anyway. it was nice to feel like a normal 19 year old just for a second weed: either the time i was drunk and high at our housewarming party and went to the park and felt like i was on a fucking rollercoaster, or the time i got super cooked after work and had a shower which felt amazing and then went back to my room and listened to beautiful people beautiful problems. i didn’t hallucinate per se, but i closed my eyes and could like see the lyrics “blue is the colour of the planet from the view above”. it was like i was in outer space and could see the earth and i was so relaxed and it was so magical mdma: my halloween party! there were so many people and no one knew i was high and we had a mad dance party and i met some of our neighbours and i just had so much fun talking to everyone and Living. 

48. What was your worst experience on drugs or alcohol? alcohol: being around boring people when drunk is boring. especially because when i’m drinking i really want to have a good and fun time.  weed: ahh i have anxiety so i used to get a few panic attacks when i was smoking mdma: eugh it was my friends 21st at the time and we took mdma and i thought it wasnt kicking in because all we did was sit in bed and talk. literally so boring. im so mad that i wasted my first time like that

50. As your walking down the street you find a suitcase full of money sitting next to a parked car, would you take it? nah, i’d probably hand it in to the police. actually, i dont trust the police so i’d probably google what to do with it. but probably police because i cant have stolen money or give it to someone else. 

51. If you found that a close friend has AIDS, would you still hang out with them? not hanging out with someone because of that has literally never even crossed my mind

52. In front of you are 10 pistols, 5 of which are loaded. If you survive you’d receive 100 million dollars. Would you be willing to place 1 to your head and pull the trigger? nah. i’m actually going places now days

53. How old were you when you lost your virginity? tba

54. Do you believe in ghosts, werewolves or vampires? nope

55. If you could live forever, would you want to? yeah probably. i’d like to give it a trial run though. i’m very anxious, so being lonely and immortal might make it worse. but at the same time, being immortal might make it easier to not give a shit and to be less anxious

56. Which fictional movie character most resembles who you are? honestly i feel like jane villanueva or peter parker

57. If you could go back in time, which time period would you visit? i would love to be a victorian bitch with a bomb ass dress and waist

58. If they were to televise a live execution, would you watch it? probably not. unless it was someone i really hated, i wouldnt give a shit

59. If you could be the president of the USA, would you be willing to do it? i mean i wouldn’t be the best person for the job, but i also wouldn’t be the worst. if i could have time to properly study politics then yeah i’d consider. 

60. If you could choose the sex of your unborn child, would you want to? i’d probably want a girl but i dont really see any reason to not have a boy

61. Would you rather live longer or be wealthy? be wealthyyyyyy

#mine

[tracie5753420923-blog]

See the crying goodbye note Eve unfolded it again while Peabody wisely remained silent..

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