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#was literally going to post this the other day but i couldn't find the source !
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Long, long time | L.H
luke hemmings x reader
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summary: you don't know how much longer you can cope with luke being on tour
warnings: panic attack, anxiety, angst with comfort, hurt/comfort, fem reader, reader is really going through it, very brief mention of lack of appetite, bit of poor self hygiene, not proofread
a/n: first time posting on tumblr despite being on here for years. literally terrified, also how god damn good is the feeling of falling upwards live album. i started levitating, don't get me started on os/co i could write a whole essay. also the ending is so rushed it's not funny but i couldn't think of an ending.
plus, the ending was my grandparents wedding song and i think it's so romantic so i put it in.
~~
It was early. The night had kept you awake, closing your eyes meant seeing every mistake you had ever made play in your mind. The curtains on your window were left open, the empty street and faint stars mocking your every move. The dim streetlight was your only source of light, and something about it was wrong.
It had been two weeks of this, of constantly shaking hands and always looking over your shoulder. Showering took more effort than it should, you had a never ending stomach ache, it felt like you didn't need to eat or drink. Your brain had been on constant overdrive for so long that it didn't know how to switch off, and it felt like there were rubber bands, squeezing around your chest and your brain, getting tighter and tighter by the minute.
For two weeks, you had done the same thing each night. Sitting up in bed, crossing your legs under your thick blanket and rocking, back and forth and back and forth. Your hands found your hair. It was greasier than you realised. How long had it been since you washed it? Stretching out your fingers, they felt wrong. They look different then you remembered. How long had it been since you had looked at yourself? Your hands find your knees, gripping onto them as you continue to rock.
You really don't want to. But you know you should. Where is he today? What even is the date today? When did you last talk to him?
Oh, his voice. His sweet, sweet voice. What would he say if he saw you like this? And this bed. This bed is far too big without him in it.
Luke is worried as well. You last spoke three days ago, and it was only texting. Usually you facetime every night, but he hasn't seen your face in just over a week. He wonders if you are busy, are you seeing your friends, are you working more?
If you squeeze your eyes shut, you can see him. He is sitting on the bed in front of you, he is holding you, he is smiling that gorgeous soft smile that he sends your way whenever you feel down. You can feel his hands rubbing up your arms in a soothing manner, his lips pressing against your forehead as the sweetest act of comfort.
You raise a hand to his side of the bed, dragging your hand along his pillow. No. No. The corner of your eyes prick.
Standing up on shaky legs, you stumble through the dark until you find your phone, face down on your floor, next to some discarded clothes. When did you let your bedroom get this filthy? The hands digging at your chest begin to dig their nails in. You kneel down, sitting on your heels and click your phone on. It's far too bright, it stings your eyes, but nonetheless you gaze lovingly at your lockscreen. At Him.
His beautiful blue eyes, warm and loving, and his gorgeous eyelashes, god he is blessed. His beautiful smile, halfway to a laugh, bringing a sad smile to your lips. Your eyes blur as you touch his cheek through your phone screen, a ragged breath coming from your chest.
You unlock your phone, blurry eyes and shaky hands pressing his contact, and the big green call button. It rings once, twice, three times, four times.
"Hey honey! You ok? Isn't it early at home?"
You don't respond. Your mouth hangs open in shock. He's alive. He's breathing. He's real, and you haven't imagined him. His voice is coming through your phone, he is on the other end and you can almost feel him.
A deep breath.
"Luke," You sob, "Luke."
"Oh, my girl."
You can hear voices becoming louder, and some clattering, a door closing and finally, just him.
"Baby, what's wrong?"
"It hurts, Luke. It really hurts."
"What hurts?"
"My chest. It's too tight and I can't breathe properly, and my brain is so sore, every time I move it stings and burns. And my skin is too tight on me, but it's too loose in some places, and I don't recognise myself and I'm so scared. I'm so tired, and I'm so scared, and I can't sleep, and the bed is too big and the house is too silent, and I need you."
You say it all in one breath, trying hard to regulate your breathing as you hold onto the phone for dear life.
"Ok, can we take some breaths together? Nice and slow. You're ok. You're safe."
You try to breathe, and eventually your chest opens up a bit. You open up your mouth to talk, but suddenly it's all mush. You sit together in silence for a bit. Speaking is too difficult. You click the phone onto speaker, and try to make your way back to bed.
"I'm right here baby, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."
You manage to groan out a response, pulling your blanket over your shaking body. Another sob escapes your lips, and you wrap your arms around your middle, pretending that you are anywhere else, that you are anybody else, that you have your boy with you.
"I'm so proud of you, you're so brave, can we keep taking some deep breaths? Just copy me."
You listen to his breathing through the phone and try to copy it, the pressure in your throat easing slightly.
"I love you so much. And I'm home so soon. So soon."
"Yeah. Not soon enough." A shaky inhale, a shaky exhale.
"Do you want me to sit with you for a bit? I can be quiet, or I can talk, whatever you need honey."
He is so patient. He is so kind. The first time he saw you have one of these, he sat in the dark in complete silence with you for threehours.
"Talk to me. I need to hear your voice."
And so he does. He talks about what you will do when he gets back. He talks about hearing you in all of his songs, and how he can't wait to hold you.
"I need you to come home soon, Lu. I think I'm fading again. I can't sleep. I need you."
He hears the tremor in your voice, your desolate tone, your sniffles, your slight stutter. He feels his heart break in two, knowing that he isn't there to hold you, to put you back together and smooth your skin.
"I know baby. Not long now, and I'm all yours for as long as you need, okay?"
"Okay. I'm really tired. Can you sing to me?"
And he doesn't hesitate. You swear you can hear the slight smile in his voice,
"Always."
"Never thought that you would be, standing here so close to me ,there's so much I feel that I should say, but words can wait until some other day"
His voice is sweet. His words linger in your head and your eyes drift closed.
"Kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again. It's been a long, long time. Haven't felt like this, my dear since I can't remember when. It's been a long, long time"
Your heart feels warm. You know that it will not be easy. You know that the next two weeks will be hard. But you know that you will see him soon. And you know that you can live when you're with him.
"You'll never know how many dreams I've dreamed about you. Or just how empty they all seemed without you. So kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again It's been a long, long time"
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poppadom0912 · 1 year
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Would it be possible to please request a Halstead!Sibling piece where the reader is the sibling, and during the late hours of the night, they get a really heavy nosebleed, so they come out of their bedroom to Jay and Will in the living room watching some TV with a few beers, and all hell breaks loose when they see reader is covered in blood and can't get the nosebleed to stop? Thank you!
A/N: I feel like I haven't written in years so I apologise in advance if this is rubbish. I also apologise for not writing this earlier, this was requested quite a while ago.
I am also aware I have posted in nearly three months but life is very stressful. I promise I'll try posting more once all my exams are over which is technically mid June. I'll try to get out all my finished drafts so you guys aren't starving.
Warnings: Blood, fainting/nausea, mentions of hospitals.
*****
For once in a long time, things were good.
Jay was mentally handling things and was starting a relationship with his detective partner whose name you kept forgetting but you remembered how pretty she was. Will wasn't making Ms Goodwin's life miserable and he was accepting that he was moving on from Natalie. And with you, school was better than ever with your grades and no longer letting anxiety stop your life.
Overall, things were the best they've been since your dad died and you couldn't be happier.
Neither of your brothers were at work and upon your incessant pleas, the three of you found yourself settling on the same sofa watching a movie.
At some point, you had to excuse yourself when your best friend messaged you in a rush about homework that you completely forgot existed.
Ignoring the darkness of the night and the comfy pajamas you wore, you completed the homework to the best of your abilities and shared it with her when she expressed her struggle.
Eventually, you lost track of time and found yourself tucked under your duvet reading the intense story on your kindle; homework safely in a folder in your bag for the next day.
Totally immersed in the heating up plot, you were oblivious to the very clear signs that you would usually catch onto had you been much more alert.
You only ever realised what was happening when several single droplets of blood plopped onto kindle screen, obscuring you from reading any further.
Confused, you let go of the kindle, letting it sit on your covered lap, your hands went up to your face, trying to find the source of blood but deep down you kinda already knew.
Removing your fingers from your nose, you glanced down and sighed in defeat, shoulders slumping at the sight of blood coating your fingers.
Rolling your eyes in annoyance, you kicked off your sheets and scanned your bedside table for the tissue box you always kept because of you hayfever and nosebleeds like this. But, it wasn't there and that threw you off because it was literally there the other day.
Huffing, your mind drew a blank at what to do as blood continued to fall steadily but it seemed that as the seconds ticked away, the stream only increased in speed.
In hopes of not ruining the rug under your feet, you held up your shirt to your nose, using it just like how you would tissue in this case.
Then, all of a sudden, your nose felt ticklish and the urge to sneeze became all too strong that you couldn't even say pineapple to prevent yourself from sneezing.
With no control, your grip on your shirt fell and you sneezed thrice. The pain in your nose throbbing and stinging, your eyes pricking with tears from the onslaught of everything happening all of once.
You were far too gone now. Dragging your eyes to your alarm clock, it took you more than a few seconds to read the time and work out whether or not Jay let yet but then you remembered Jay wouldn't have left without bidding you goodbye.
Well, even if he had gone which he should've seeing as it was nearly 1am, Will would've been the most useful in this situation.
Opening your door with your elbow so you wouldn't get blood on the handle, you walked towards the living room even if you were in a daze. You knew the layout of the apartment by the back of your hand.
Your feet pattered against the wooden flooring, alerting the other two inhabitants of the apartment that you were entering. Taking into account the late time, Will turned around ready to question why you were up at such a time on a school night when he froze upon laying eyes on you.
"Y/N? What happened?" Will asked straight away, getting onto his feet and coming up to you, lifting your chin in his hand so he could get a good look at your face.
Jay turned around to see why Will was asking you such a question when his eyes widened in alarm at your figure, pajamas practically drenched in blood and blood smearing your nose and upper lip.
"What the hell!" Jay shot up. "Why are you covered in blood?!"
"I'm having a nosebleed." You said plainly, boredly gesturing to your very bloody nose that Will was inspecting. "Duh."
"Jay, can you go grab my bag?" Will asked the middle Halstead sibling, not once taking his eyes off you.
Without any rebuttal, Jay did as the doctor said but not without mumbling under his breath about how using manners would get people so far in life.
"I have no idea. One second I'm reading and the next I'm bleeding everywhere." You shrugged, answering Will's question. "And then I sneezed three times."
Will hummed, your chin grasped lightly in one hand while the other was held out to Jay. Will asked Jay for certain things which he was given without a second thought.
"You most likely burst a vessel when you sneezed which made it much worse." Will said so nonchalantly, not at all bothered by the blood that was staining the gloves he put on with way too much ease.
"Alright, just hold that there for a few minutes." Your oldest brother told you, letting you take over from where he was holding the gauze. "Let's sit you down but don't get blood anywhere, I cleaned yesterday."
You looked at him dumbfounded but followed him to sit down anyways, Jay scoffing in disbelief at his words.
"Wow, you love me so much." You said sarcastically, a tight lipped smile on your chapping lips as you went back and forth with snarky remarks.
"This is a lot of blood though Y/N." Will addressed seriously, looking at just how much blood was covering your pajamas. "How long have you been bleeding for?"
"Like literally two or three minutes." You gave a very rough estimation, grimacing as you actually looked at the damage on your clothes, groaning in disbelief. "Ugh, these are my favourite pjs."
"Don't worry about that." Jay said, watching you closely from behind Will's shoulder so he wasn't in the way. "You dirtied your sheets or anything?"
You hummed in thought, squinting as you tried to remember. "I got blood on my kindle but I don't know about my bed."
"I'll go check." Jay allocated himself the job, finding himself useless as Will wasn't going to remove himself from your side.
"Okay, let me take a look." Will said under his breath as he carefully took the bloodied gauze away from you so he could replace it with a new one.
It was only a few seconds period of having nothing for the blood but it seemed that it wasn't dripping as it was. Alas, the uncomfortable urge to sneeze overcame you and you found yourself overwhelmed with the need to sneeze.
Without even registering what was happening, you sneezed twice, covering your mouth with your inner elbow instinctively.
You groaned, dragging it out at the sight of blood on the sleeve of your cotton shirt. Yep, there was definitely no chance of salvaging it now.
"Ooo, okay." Will winced, being as gentle but using as much force necessary when pinching your nose. "Either you're getting the flu or your hay fevers suddenly acting up in the winter."
Your shoulders slumped against the back of the chair, tired with your bleeding nose that wouldn't stop. At this rate, you'd be up all night because of your stupid nose.
"Woah!" Jay exclaimed, freezing in his steps as he entered the kitchen, eyeing the new mess that he luckily missed out on seeing. "What'd I miss?"
"I'm going to die."
"She's not going to die."
"Jay, Will's lying." You whined like a baby, dropping your head in exaggeration. "I'm going to bleed out and not live to see either of you get married. What a miserable life."
Both your brothers rolled their eyes at your dramatic self. Sharing a knowing look, having a silent conversation with just their eyes you groaned again.
"I want black flowers at my wedding and I want Trudy to do my eulogy because at least she'll miss me." You said, starting your funeral arrangements very seriously despite what your brothers were thinking.
"Perfect, I'll go on holiday then."
"You're not going to die Y/N."
You sighed dramatically, your voice was nasally, as if you had a severe blocked nose when in reality, it was just a really bad nose bleed that you were trying to stop. "This sucks."
"Yes it does but as long as you don't sneeze or blow your nose, you'll be fine." Will said, tossing the bloodied gauze and replacing it with another, letting go when you held it on your own.
"This is going to be a long night."
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marsprincess889 · 7 months
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NAKSHATRAS AS GODDESSES
4/27
🌸ROHINI🍭
DISCLAIMER: This is based solely on my research and the patterns that I saw. I can't promise that I'm gonna be sure in all the coorelations, but I'm going to attribute each nakshatra a goddess that I think fits it the closest. If you're dissapointed, to make up for it, I'm going to list some other deities in the end that I think also fit the nakshatra. Don't come for me if you think I'm wrong, be respectful in the comments if you think so and have fun 🤍
This one was easy and also not easy? It seems too easy, too easy to be true, like the mythology of the nakshatra itself...
Lakshmi
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Pantheon: Hindu
Name meaning: a lucky omen, the goal.
Associations: wealth, beauty, love, abundance, fortune, power, fertility and prosperity.
Symbols: Lotus flower, elephant, owl, gold coins.
Lakshmi, according to Hindu mythology, was born from the churning of the ocean of milk, an event that was caused by the war between the Demons and the Gods. She was born fully grown, on a lotus, with a smiling, radiant face. She rides an owl and is often depicted by two elephants showering her. Elephants are a symbol of strength, luck and proserity. Owl (the symbol of the opposite nakshatra- jyeshta) is often seen with Lakshmi as a kind of guardian, always watching over her.
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Rohini is the nakshatra of quick and rapid growth, its real life natives often being physically mature but internally childlike, often more dependant and submissive. This is the trait that makes this nakshatra the favourite of the moon, the planet moon is also literally exalted here, as well as Rahu.
One of the symbols of Rohini nakshatra is a chariot. It's a preserved tradition that brides ride in a chariot on the day of marriage. Lakshmi is often depicted seating on a chariot. Chariot/cart is also the symbol of the Taurus, the sign in which Rohini is located.
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Some sources say that Lakshmi is associated with the moistness nessecary for growth (rohini's power).
You might have noticed that in most depictions she has four hands. They are said to represent the four aims of life: Dharma (righeousness), Artha (gathering necessary material recources), Kama (going after desires) and Moksha (liberation through knowledge). Her name literally means "aim" or "goal", so that definitely makes sense.
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The deity assigned to Rohini is Prajapati- creator god. Rohini is the birth of the cosmic daugher and feminine at its most submissive. So submissive, that she does not question what influence is offered to her, she just absorbs it and gives it back.
Because Rohini is growth in all of its aspects, it's no wonder that the Hindu goddess of wealth is coorelated to it. Rohini is also closely connected to the Hindu culture overall. The overabundant use of bright, saturated colors and the frequent flower symbolism (flowers are connected to Rohini) is reminiscent of what people find beautiful as children, especially little girls.
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The overall analysis of Rohini is a completely different topic and claire nakti has done a stellar job at it. Hopefully this post made it clear why I think Lakshmi is the fit for Rohini. Also, do not think me lazy because I chose a Hindu goddess, it's literally the best one I could find, besides, Indian culture really suits Rohini.
Apologies to Rohini natives and everyone else, I couldn't find other deities that suited Rohini, besides Prajapati and Goddess Rohini herself, but I think that Lakshmi is pretty much on point. Let me know your thoughts, comment, reblog, like. Thanks for reading and take care 🤍
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kanmom51 · 7 months
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Gonna just place this here
If the pics of JK 'smoking' wouldn't have been all over the internet, I wouldn't have posted this to start with.
But seeing they are, and seeing that someone might have maliciously tried to cause him damage, I think that is reason enough.
I will start by saying that JK is a fucking adult and is allowed to do what the fuck he wants to as long as it's legal of course. Drink, smoke, have sex with you know who.
It is ok to not like the idea of him smoking.
It is ok to say so.
It's ok to think it's not good for him nor his voice.
But at the end of the day, it's his body, his life, his decision as an adult.
Saying that, this whole thing just might be a big fat lie.
Here you go:
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The last one is cropped so hard to tell.
I guess the difference in coloration between the cigarettes was a clue. The lit ends as well, seeing we don't get to see JK taking a drag not even once all the time the camera is on him (enough for the cigarette to become clearly much shorter, as in smoked). Oh, and where's the smoke? We clearly get smoke off the other guy's cigarette, but none form JK's with the big ass lit tip?
Ah, and another weird thing was the way he was holding the cigarette while demonstrating the Seven moves.
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Who in the fucking hell holds a cigarette between his middle finger and ring finger?
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Also, the whole cigarette looks wrong, including the tip.
And if we are already on that, if the camera was there all that time, how didn't we get a pic of him taking a drag from that cigarette the whole damn time. I mean, if you're out to get him, that would be the kicker pic, no? We get one of the others taking a drag from his cigarette. Where's the pic of JK doing it?
The camera was there the whole time, right? So, we have pics with JK without any cigarette in hand standing alone. Then 3 pics of him with the cigarette. Different looking cigarettes. Who gave him the cigarette? Who lit it for him? How don't we get a pic of any of that?
The other guys are smoking (supposedly). Wouldn't we have had the whole lighting the cigarettes process going on you get with social smoking? The lighter/s, the taking a drag to light the cigi? Again, how was none of that caught on camera?
And I kind of find it interesting how see through the cigarette is too. You can literally see JK's finger through the cigarette. Must be a new kind of brand.
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Now, I don't have any fancy photography apps handy right now, but that whole hand looks kind of weird to me.
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Also, between the see through cigarette pic and the brown looking cigarette (both photos with JK talking to same man) cigarette looks to be around same size (?) and strangely his grip on the cigarette changes from holding it between his index and middle finger to middle and ring finger. Doing this with a lit cigarette one handed, idk...
Could the photos be real? Maybe?
Maybe they look off because of the quality of the photos? Possibly, I guess. Although bad quality would be true about all the pics. So, for instance, no smoke showing could be due to bad quality if the same couldn't be said about the other's cigarettes.
Could either of the batches of pics be edited? Of course they could.
The cigarettes could have been edited in or out.
It's just that there are so many discrepancies in the cigarette holding pics that I am leaning on thinking they aren't authentic.
End of day conclussions:
Fucking hell!!!
You just cannot believe everything you see now days in the media. Not in photos and not in videos either.
Check, double check, triple check and always stay vigilant and suspicious unless it's from a confirmed and trustworthy source.
As of this one, the jury is out on it.
Oh, and either way, it's his life, his decisions.
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brineffxiv · 6 months
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Aw hell.
Back up a bit.
So there we were, Venat and I, trying to enter Ktisis Hyperborea in order to track down Hermes, when who should we re-encounter...
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Haha! It turns out that despite claiming to not believe my story, Emet-Selch has been (with Hythlodaeus' assistance) investigating the same things Venat and I have been. I am so happy about this. I was literally chanting "Yes yes yes!" When Hythlodaeus explained what they had been up to.
*Ahem*
We have uncovered similar facts and reached the same conclusion: since it seems unlikely that Hermes himself wants to bring about the Final Days, he may yet be recruited to help prevent them.
(ha... ha... in retrospect....)
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And then Hythlodaeus laughs at him. I adore these two.
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It's too late Emet! You've been contaminated with my friendship (highly contagious) now you'll never be rid of me! 12000+ years in the future you will care about me so much you'll plan for me to succeed after I kill you.
...oh no now I'm crying again...
Keep it together, you've got two whole posts to write to catch up with the plot. No way you're fitting this all in one.
Right. Right.
I find Hermes (and Meteion) in the depths of the Hungering Gardens and convince him to meet with our little group outside.
I tell him what I've told them.
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Though reluctant to believe my tale, Hermes agrees to theorize based on his knowledge of dynamis. He concludes much as I have already suspected: that it is likely the varying densities of the people which produced the different effects in each Final Days - the warping of creation magics and the transformations of the people themselves.
But Hermes also points out something new: dynamis is itself only an energy, set in motion by emotion, which must have a source.
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It would follow then, that this source... it must be a thinking being, in order to have emotions? Mustn't it? It's not a what. It's a who.
And as Hermes points out, the celestial currents form the outermost layers of the star. If the phenomena appeared first where those were weakest, then...
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Someone out in the great expanse is trying to kill us.
Ah. But we have only a moment to reflect on this new horrific revelation, when...
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Fuck. Oh, fuck. Hermes, you goddamn idiot.
But no, it's not a new "friend", it's Meteion's sisters reporting in. Meteion proceeds to "suspend" her individual consciousness and connect with the shared one.
Ah.
Oh. No.
Something has gone very very wrong.
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Aaaaa!
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Meteion is screaming inside my head, and only I can hear her. The rest can tell that something has happened, but they cannot see the truth of it.
And then, quite suddenly, she has disappeared.
Hermes explains that this is an ability Meteion has to avoid confrontation; she alters her aetheric density to blend in with her surroundings.
It's likely that I could hear Meteion's voice just then when the others couldn't because Meteion utilizes dynamis to speak in her mind and my comparatively thin aether left me susceptible to it. This means I'm the best chance we've got to track her down. We split up and search.
Danger music is playing! Danger music is playing! This is not a drill!
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Several times I encounter Meteion or her voice and several times she runs away. Disappearing again. I glean from the brief snatches of dialogue that she is fighting her programming to compile and make her report. Something about the data her sisters have transmitted has frightened and upset her, and she does not want to present it to Hermes.
Our search party regroups to find a new plan; I will continue tracking Meteion via her voice, and Emet-Selch will follow, prepared to rain aether upon her to disrupt her vanishing trick. The rest of our party will work to blockade any avenues of escape, a task made easier in that it appears Meteion has fled towards Lethe.
Um. Lethe? The river of forgetting in the underworld? Can we uh... Can we not go into there? I have a bad feeling is all.
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I am at once delighted and extremely distressed. The danger music is still playing loud and clear.
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The plan works perfectly, for good or ill, and Meteion is cornered. Her voice in my mind begs me to protect everyone. She can no longer flee, and commences her report.
Everywhere Meteion has gone she has found the dead and the dying. Her dispassionate voice continues behind our mounting horror.
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Emet-Selch points out the obvious problem in the mission Hermes tasked Meteion with: he did not account for a negative result. The premise of Hermes' question - what others live for, what gives their lives meaning - is flawed, if Meteion encounters only those who are dead or do not wish to live.
Venat orders Meteion to cease her report, suspend her mission, and return home. But Meteion is not listening. Emet-Selch determines to take Meteion back to Amaurot, as she will be needed in order to retrieve all of her sisters.
Hermes is still stunned from the revelation of both the answers to his questions and the astounding oversight in his instructions to Meteion. He kneels in front of her and seems about to acquiesce to Emet-Selch's demand, but...
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Memories of Meteion and his promises to her fill Hermes' mind, and he resolves to accept the answers in her report, whatever they are.
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Suddenly he transforms. Declaring that he will not allow Meteion to be taken from him until she has delivered her full report, he takes her in his arms and flies off towards Ktisis Hyperboreia.
We chase after them as quick as we can, but arriving at Ktisis we find a crowd of confused researchers outside. An alarum is sounding and the facility has been evacuated and put into a state of alert - a field of dampening magics is now in place effecting any who aren't Ktisis researchers.
Nonetheless, we must enter the facility.
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OMG OMG OMG
(Of course Emet is a Dark Knight. He fights with love! In this essay I will...)
This dungeon is a downright delight. All the little bits of commentary and characterization!! HHHhhh!!!
Also I somehow managed to get Venat killed by double stacking a mechanic on her during Hermes' fight and Hythlodaeus res'd her. Hythlodaeus, my man, you are a Bard with a resurrection spell: you have got to stop saying how bad at everything you are because you are clearly not.
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Yes, Hermes, you are indeed a mad, desperate fool, but you are a mad, desperate fool in serious need of therapy and someone to talk to. Your problems, to me, seem to stem from the fact that you feel so alone. Your compassion is hampered by the fact that you're entirely too caught up in your own head, and unfortunately, you do not seem to be much of an intellectual. You need friends, people you can share your thoughts and feelings with, and who you can bounce ideas off of so you don't send your emotionally fueled, vulnerable bird-daughter out into space with no means to shield herself from negative feelings. Bad idea, that. Also you need to calm the fuck down.
Together, we defeat Hermes, who returns to his humanoid form.
Emet-Selch declares he is taking both Meteion and Hermes into custody on behalf of the Convocation. As Emet moves to do so, Hermes turns to Meteion and apologizes to her, for being unable to hear out her full report. Hermes has just time enough to ask one final question of Meteion: was there happiness to be found in those stars?
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Meteion's answer is long and features examples of failed civilizations that appear to hit close to home for each of our ancients. Those probably deserve closer examination, but that tangent got three paragraphs long before I realized there really wasn't time for it, because as she's giving us this answer Meteion is beginning to leak the black smoke that signals dynamis corruption.
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A- Ah. AH. Oh. It's not. It's.
It's Meteion.
The thing out there that's trying to kill us.
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It's Meteion. The Meteia. Her sisters.
They are the source of the emotions behind the Final Days.
And Hermes...
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You. YOU. You...selfish monster. You bloody hypocrite!
"If man can learn to value all life and retain his will to live he will surely find a way to avert his demise"
It's not enough that you throw your precious creations at us to slow our advance through Ktisis, no, in making your judgement on man you in turn curse every life upon this star to share our fate. Or, have you not considered the method by which you sentence us!? Perhaps you are too distracted by your own despair to truly hear what she is saying: Meteion is bringing death to the star itself, not selectively killing off Man. You know this from my own account of what the Final Days will bring.
You're just like the rest of us; how cheap other lives become in the presence of Man, whether you seek to better us or to destroy us. I couldn't see, couldn't fathom, how you could be the Fandaniel I met in the future. But you've been him all along, haven't you? When push comes to shove you crumple under despair and it's not enough to take your own life, no, you'll make everyone suffer with you. Everyone must feel your pain.
Hermes causes the Final Days. In full knowledge of what he will bring, the pain and the suffering. He knows, and he chooses this. Unlike Meteion, who has become corrupted, unlike the Convocation, who will never know against what they struggle, Hermes stares evil in the face and embraces it. A mental breakdown will not absolve you Hermes, in this moment you damn yourself.
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No. NO.
I forgot about that thing!
Hermes orders Kairos to rewrite the memories of all within Ktisis Hyperborea, beginning at the point of Emet-Selch's arrival in Elpis. Our memories are to be replaced with a vague recollection of Meteion and her sisters' shared consciousness becoming unstable and exploding, triggering Kairos.
Kairos begins counting down.
A lot of things happen, very quickly, all at once.
With his back to us, Hermes bids Meteion fly to the far edge of the universe where none can reach her.
Venat breaks her bonds and launches herself at Meteion, intent on stopping her, but Hermes blocks the blow and Meteion leaps into the air.
The break in Hermes' concentration appears to have freed the rest of us from our chains, and as Emet-Selch summons his weapon to challenge Hermes, Venat leaps aboard Argos in pursuit of Meteion. As the two shoot skyward, Hythlodaeus leads me to the edge of the platform. He tells me that here, this is their fight to wage, but that I must take the knowledge I have gained here back to my time, to my own battle.
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Meteion is rapidly approaching the bounds of the star, with Venat in close pursuit. Just before Venat can catch her, Meteion shapeshifts into an actual bird (Hey! My friend has that minion! What!?) and speeds away into space, but not before Venat manages to tag her with a spell.
Emet-Selch and Hythlodaeus sacrifice themselves to allow Venat and I to escape with our memories intact. Kairos completes its final process as we soar above their heads.
In the final few seconds left to us, Emet-Selch proclaims that he still doesn't believe my story, but, if it must be said, to not squander the legacy he leaves to me. In futility I reach for him, feeling the weight of our history falling into place.
Honestly, I could barely manage to take screencaps of this part I was crying so hard.
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But I caught his smile.
...
Outside again, Venat collapses on the grass, exhausted both physically and mentally by what we've just been through.
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The spell Venat tagged Meteion with is a tracking spell, one with which we can track her. Though she is already unimaginably distant and beyond our current reach.
Venat uses Argos to check on our friends, now exiting Ktisis Hyperborea, with Hermes in tow.
As expected, they have no memories of the events that Hermes contrived to have us forget, and Hermes himself appears devastated at the loss of Meteion.
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Wait, what? No. No no no no! You've just seen, literally just seen, that even when Emet-Selch believes something to be completely ludicrous he will do his due diligence to investigate it. Tell him. Tell them, the Convocation. Even if they don't believe you at least let them know about dynamis, so they can recognize it when the Final Days begins! We cannot reach Meteion where she is now, but you have time. Time to work to stabilize the aether currents. Time to find an alternative solution so that when the Final Days arrive it's not necessary to summon Zodiark. Don't you start this again. This information control.
Leaving aside her asinine view that public knowledge of the contents of Meteion's report would lead to some sort of further catastrophe... Venat is against telling the Convocation the truth because of her fears of what Hermes would do if he learned the truth?? Venat, have you lost your mind? Hermes is one man. The only reason he was able to do what he already did was because we had the deck stacked against us, we confronted him in his seat of power with our own abilities severely limited. It was a very specific set of circumstances!! Outside of these exact conditions what he did would not have worked! Hermes' greatest weapon is our ignorance, that's why he contrived to have us forget in the first place. You are wasting the opportunity our friends sacrificed all to provide us with!
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You already know the key thing that Hermes will contribute to resolving the coming crisis! The knowledge of celestial currents! Share this knowledge and you will have no need of him!!
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It needn't be senseless and seemingly inevitable at all if you would bloody well tell people! Hope is so much stronger when built on a foundation of knowledge. We cannot stop the Final Days from coming, but you can yet mitigate it. All needn't be lost. You can yet choose to do something different. I beg you, use this time to find a different path.
Please Venat, please do not let your future become my past.
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athamad · 7 months
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Theseus and women
Theseus is one of the most hated characters in Greek mythology on the internet and l wanted defend him because l love him and he's clearly, VERY clearly misunderstood. Now, by misunderstood l don't mean, "Oh, his father wasn't around so he was traumatized," l mean he is always characterized as this misogynist egoist man who everybody loves just because he's a MAN™, which isn't true at all. I'm not going to explain why l love him directly in this post but I'm just going to explain why people misinterpret his relationship with women, because other than his "misstreatment" of women, he's literally just a guy.
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Theseus and Amphitrite
Like, look at him! He's just a boy! Anyways, let's start with the obvious reason he gets hate.
Ariadne
We all know the story of him leaving her behind and then Dionysus finds her yada yada. We don't know why he does this, some people say that he's just a jerk and did this dick move because he wanted to but l beg to differ. Many modern-day writers tried to explain this abandonment, though most of them just painted Theseus as a jerk like leaving her because she was annoying or like what l said, just because he's a dick. I was researching how authors reasoned him for his abandonment and guess what THERE ARE SOURCES ARE EXPLAINING HIS ACTION, 1) She was killed by Artemis, this is not a well-known one but it is an explanation of him leaving Ariadne behind, Ariadne was killed by Artemis while she was giving birth to his sons, l couldn't find a reason on why she did it but this is a reason, 2) Dionysus demanded him to leave her because he wanted her, some sources say this and even say that the reason Theseus forgot to change his sails was that he was sad about leaving Ariadne behind, now, does this mean he's an angel, no because some sources do say 3) Theseus willingly leaving her behind, however, they all give a different explanation. A reason l like comes from the book "The king must die" where Ariadne is participating in a human sacrificial ritual and Theseus doesn't like that because it reminds him of Medea or something. I don't know l just read it while researching l didn't read the book but l like it, Ariadne being all crazy and that because it would explain why she's great with Dionysus and her parents are both very cold people, one being a goddess and one being... Minos. I heard there are versions where Athena tells him to leave her but l couldn't find them so that could have been added very later. Now, what version do l see as the truth? None. I like the version my brother suggested, which is "He forgot,". HE FORGOT, HES FORGETFUL, AND HE ALSO FORGETS TO CHANGE THE SAILS. I like it so much because HES LITERALLY JUST A GUY. But, in all seriousness, you can dislike Theseus for leaving Ariadne behind since there are sources that say he left her willingly but check the other versions too.
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Theseus, Athena, Dionysus, and Ariadne.
Now that that's out of the way, let's see any other reason Theseus gets hate that involves yet another woman! Which is...
Helen
There is a myth that Helen is kidnapped by Theseus... That's it. So, for context (even though everyone knows it already) Theseus and his "best bud" (wink, wink) Pirithous are both demigods, Theseus being Poseidon's son and Pirithous Zeus's. Since they both have divine blood, they conclude that they will marry one of Zeus's daughters, Theseus picks Helen and Pirithous picks Persephone (like an idiot). They abduct Helen, yada yada, try to abduct Persephone but fail miserably, yada yada. And people dislike him because... he kidnapped Helen, yeah, okay, let's break this down. Kidnapping women was a very well-known thing in ancient Greece, was it acknowledged it was bad? Yes. But was it still there? Also yes. But this isn't about lust, Theseus kidnaps Helen because she is Zeus's daughter and he thinks he deserves at least a demi-god because he is one too. Can this be considered hubris? Yes, it can, and in my opinion, it is. Theseus has done very heroic stuff and wants something in return, he thinks that a mortal wife is too little for him so he picks what he thinks is the best thing for him, a wife whose father is Zeus. He doesn't do this as an act of lust, just hubris, and maybe for reputation, since Helen is the most beautiful woman, having the most beautiful woman as a wife is a thing to be proud of. But that doesn't mean Theseus gets what he wants immediately, because Helen is young, very young. He even acknowledges that as an Athenian, which is okay to marry a 14-year-old girl, but Helen is younger. Sources change her age from 9 to 12, but the point is, she's too young. So, Theseus decides he'll wait and gives her to his mother in the meantime. When he gets rescued by Heracles, he faces consequences, which is learning his mother is now a slave to Castor and Pollux. This is what l like about him too, he's a king, a hero, yet faces consequences more than anyone. Even if he doesn't, when he does bad things to another, bad things happen to him later, Karma bites him in the ass, and in my opinion making a character face consequences is the best way to make them feel human and relatable. Theseus isn't the only one, every mortal in Greek mythology are human-like character to me because they face consequences! Heracles, Achilles, Agamemnon, Odysseus, Bellerophon, and many more make bad choices, face the consequences, and acknowledge them! Theseus kidnapping Helen is a bad thing, yes, but he didn't even touch her because she was a child and his mother got taken away in the end.
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Theseus taking away Helen
So yeah, this is it. I was going to go into more detail about his relationship with women since there are women he helps and respects but this is all for now. If l made any mistakes, please let me know without sounding rude, l can take constructive criticism. Anyways, have a good day!
(@coloricioso was the one who asked me to explain my Theseus obsession, so here it is!)
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raytorosaurus · 2 years
Note
Hello! You said in one of your tags about how Ray had to talk Gerard out of leaving the band, do you have any videos or interviews about that? Because I'm going insane over that knowledge
ok take my hand and follow me further down the path of insanity because it's not just once he's done it multiple times. i've always thought it's kinda fitting that back when they had a drummer who couldn't keep time live that job fell to ray even though it's normally down to the rhythm section bc well. ray literally keeps my chemical romance together. just off the top of my head:
early days, post-bullets. annoyingly i can't find the video source right now but it's been transcribed + giffed a bunch, e.g. here. gerard said: "We had a real talk in my kitchen one day and I'm pretty sure I was close to not wanting to do the band anymore. Just because we made a record, right? And I was like, 'Yeah that's it, I'm done now. I made a record, I'm cool.' I kind of tended to just make little goals for myself and then once accomplishing them kind of being over it and moving onto something else. And Ray never let me do that. Now I'll never let it go, you know, once I learned that. He helped me learn that." and then they hugged like this <3
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then when they were writing/recording revenge they stayed in an apartment complex in la for a couple of months - mikey and frank were roommates, gerard and ray were roommates, and otter was on his own lol. gerard flipped out and panicked that nobody would understand what they were trying to do or say with revenge and ray talked him through it. it's mentioned on p99 of not the life it seems:
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then i'm sure most of you know about the madison square garden show that capped out the pretty harrowing black parade tour. frank was highly medicated and zoned out, they played desert song by ray's request, and gerard said the (in)famous, "If we never play another show ever again, keep yourself alive," line. apparently the vibes backstage were Not Good and gerard was going around telling everyone that they'd just played their last show and ray was on damage control. then ray talked to gerard and convinced him to take a break from the band for a while, because if they didn't it would be the end forever. then allegedly on the ride home with a couple of his old buddies like jon rivera, gerard started writing what would later become boy division. yeah i know right. there's a long section of ntlis dedicated to that but the most relevant part is here on p230:
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anyway. love how with this band it always comes back down to the love and loyalty they all have for each other, because my chemical romance would truly be nowhere without it. so grateful that we get to witness a little bit of that and see them all back together visibly having so much fun and spreading joy even now in their forties. they always knew my chemical romance was important but i don't think they ever could have known it would end up like this <3
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unearthlycat · 5 months
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jumping on this bandwagon i guess
#rain world
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🌀 trans-scension 🔁 goldenjetfish
✨ yeekoftheweek Follow
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[Image: Navigation directions for a road with a roundabout. An alternate route goes directly through the roundabout. It is labeled "if you;re not a coward ;)"]
got this from my drone nav today
is my iterator fucking okay
👤 herecomestherainagain-deactivated1529700 Go home No Significant Harassment, you're drunk.
🪈 pipe--yard okay im like 99% sure this is fake but i just gotta highlight the audacity of saying "go home" to the guy whose house youre literally driving on top of
🪈 pipe--yard edit: IT'S REAL??!?!
wild-flower-ride-deactivated1532056 void and saints below yall really live like this
📿 guardianknittingneedles-deactivated1534459 Happy one solar-cycle anniversary to the drunk No Significant Harassment post
🪱 cutest-lil-pipe-beast Follow i've only seen this post in screenshots and i still can't believe it's real
🟩 nsh-heritage-posts Certified No Significant Harassment Heritage Post
#rule of laughter #happy 7 sol-cycle anniversary to the drunk nsh post everyone #tumbling stones heritage posts
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☁️ fourteenblueclouds
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[image description: Two painterly images of the sky, as viewed from a Metropolis balcony on Five Pebbles during a dry spell. The first shows the sky, uninterrupted save for the spires of distant communications towers. The other, a single figure leaned over the railing of a balcony, looking out over the cityscape.]
the summers up on pebbles were always the worst, but as the end approaches i'm coming to miss them
#original art #artists of tumbling stones #my artwork #painting
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🗡️ nine-sharp-stones it really feels like everyone is ascending these days. this place is a ghost town. i just wish i could join them but i know i'll never be enough. there's too much of me. if i go it'll twist me into something i don't want to be. and all i can do is be afraid.
i miss my parents. i miss everyone. my best friend ascended last cycle. we couldn't be friends anymore because i was "holding them back".
i just wish i could have gone with them.
#vent #do not reblog #delete later
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🌀 trans-scension 🔁 halo-of-seven-suns
⛆ raindeerstampede-deactivated1534012 It still gets me every time that even living up here with an abundance of water, we choose to maintain a system of pipes to ensure access to it.
I have to pay a water bill.
It rains so hard every night my balcony has a hands-breadth of standing water when the shields unroll in the morning.
Does nobody see the contradiction here?
🪻 metropolitanghost Follow op have you ever heard of a drainage system
do you like. realize how nasy that water gets
and you want to DRINK it?
🧃 five-pebbsi-official Follow Why drink rainwater when you could be drinking Five Pebbsi, the official drink of the Five Pebbles Metropolitan Zone?
[five-pebbsi-advertisement.jpg]
Quench your thirst and contract 0 intestinal parasites! None!
🪈 pipe--yard
#wow thanks five pebbsi official brand account that doesn't sound suspicious at all
#thank you five pebbles official you sound very trustworthy #i am sure your drink contains nothing else that would be of concern
#what an incredibly trustable source! i am sure if i perform a search query for five pebbsi i will definitely not find anything concerning on the ingredient list!
🖸 pleading-intellects-hot-robot-bod
#it has WHAT IN IT
i would like to wish everyone finding out about the ingredients of five pebbsi from this post my Deepest Condolences but also, Rest In Pieces
#rule of laughter
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🪨 one-cup-of-pebbles 🔁 memes-to-make-you-ascend
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[screencap: a greyscale photo of a cup of gravel tea, with two twigs artfully arranged on a plate. Caption reads, "Working on denying the fourth urge this week! #fourthurge #gluttony #graveltea #dietarypurge #releasethe4"]
these guys have got to be stopped
#i am losing my mind over this
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💬 wondering-ottoman 🔁 leviafantastic
🌘 lingeringluna Follow
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[Image: a shiny chitinous box containing unidentifiable bluish-white mush.]
living block just got the new ration shipment today. what the [2].
🌘 lingeringluna this is what they feed the iterator technicians i think
👤 beyondthewinds-deactivated1528045 Technical side of Tumbling Stones, can you confirm?
🧮 sixgrains-official Follow yes i am a real iterator technician and i eat this every day,, for my lunch and for dinner i eat neuron flies. hope this helps
👤 beyondthewinds-deactivated1528045 Thank you, definitely official account of famous iterator architect Six Grains of Gravel, Mountains Abound
#this is an old and humorously meant post i know but… #but no really what?! #i knew it was bad for the stragglers but i had no idea… #at least once we all ascend it'll be a bygone worry i suppose… #tw gluttony
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🌀 trans-scension 🔁 halo-of-seven-suns
⛓️ atopthespires becoming an iterator technician with high ambitions but i'm incredibly clumsy, introduced to them on the first day of the job and i am simply so charming they cannot help but fall in love with me for "research purposes" and i become their specialist little technician attending their every whim despite being the least qualified individual to do so <3
⛓️ atopthespires some of you are very confused what i mean by this, so let me make it clear: i want to [U.] the iterator
⛓️ atopthespires
#op do you understand that the puppet is just a simulacrum of a body? #they are much vaster than your reproduction-addled mind can concieve of i promise you that
the simulacrum being puppeted by a vast inconcievable machine is part of the appeal. whats not clicking
⛓️ atopthespires
#you realize the councils would literally throw you into the void fluid vats for that right #if you don't get excommunicated first
might i introduce you to this Wondrous New Skill called: lying
#rule of laughter #heresy tw #not safe for worshippers
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thecrimsonacademic · 15 days
Text
Fun Arlong Fact—His Species is Wrong
So...you know how I said I spent a whole day last summer tracking down specifically what Arlong was? All the info I found is now gone. Like, I can't even track down the purple sawshark I had found, even the pictures be gone. Even off Wikipedia (which should never be your primary source) the info is gone—Wikipedia info is gone, non-Wikipedia info is gone, photos are gone, endangered charts are changed (which I know doesn't happen over night so what the hell actually gives), two whole ass species just evaporated into thin air.
It's kind of creepy.
This also means I had to redo the entire search and retrack just what exactly he was. I still remembered a great deal of what I had found last time, but I have no way of backing those finds up because all the info is just, not there. And like an idiot, I didn't screenshot it or store it in a Word doc. I have only myself to blame for that. Always backup info, especially if it's info you spent more than 5 hours tracking down.
And because I'm afraid of the info getting purged again, I'm posting it now. I've been sitting on this info for a year and I'm just going to use this as an excuse to celebrate my 1-year of being in the One Piece fandom and 1-year of loving Arlong. So, let's celebrate my Arlong anniversary with a fun fact about him.
Technically speaking, Arlong is NOT a sawshark!
Now, Oda can say and draw whatever the bloody hell he wants because it's his damn story. I'm just coming at this from a "for fun, nerdy, committed fan" standpoint. Some people get real nitty gritty with their favorite characters in other ways. Me? I looked up Arlong's fish species. I originally did this because I was curious to see if Oda actually researched a bit and made the fishmen somewhat accurate to their supposed fish species or if he just threw stuff together at random.
Kuroobi is quite obviously a giant devil ray, his pigtails give that away. Hatchan being an octopus makes sense because if you include his legs he clearly has 8 appendages. I have never heard of Chew's species and after looking it up I am so baffled by the resemblance that clearly does not exist, so he's on his own. And then Arlong.
Sawsharks and sawfish are frequently mistaken for one another because they look so damn similar. And tracking down which Arlong is specifically is a lot harder than you might think. Arlong isn't a fish, he's a person patterned off of a fish. He is quite literally an anthropomorphized fish. Because he's essentially a person with fish traits, it makes it very hard to track down certain aspects.
My tracking criteria were: height, skin color, and nose. I couldn't use any geographical information or water depth to track Arlong down because that information really doesn't pertain.
Sawsharks are surprisingly small creatures, the biggest any of them ever get is 5 feet. And there are 10 known species of sawsharks, they're all really that small. Keep in mind, Arlong is 8'7 so he'd have to be some mutated sawshark to be that big. His height could be argued given that it's One Piece and everything seems to be bigger than normal in the Grand Line, like some sort of pirate Texas. However, I am opting to go with the thought that his size is in relation to his fish species.
Continuing, Arlong has bluish skin. All sawsharks are gray, brown, or yellowish in color. Lastly, sawsharks have alternating teeth along their nose (rostrum). Arlong's nose has the spikes (which should be teeth) evenly matched up on each side of his nose. They aren't offset at all.
Taking all that into consideration, he's actually a sawfish. Sawfish are rays and not sharks. Sharks and rays are technically speaking cousins but Arlong actually has more in common with Kuroobi than he does Hody Jones in terms of species.
Sad fact, all sawfish species (of which there are 5) are critically endangered. Sawsharks on the other hand are either least concern or there isn't enough data to determine if they're endangered or not. Very little is known about sawsharks.
Back to sawfish. These things be HUGE. Many of them get upwards of 25 feet in length. Now Arlong's height is making more sense. Again, regarding the rostrum, the teeth aren't offset for a sawfish. They're lined up in pairs on either side of the nose. Sawfish also lack a set of barbels halfway up/down the rostrum whereas the sawsharks all have the barbels.
It comes down to coloring. Sawfish, like sawsharks, have two colors: one above and one below. Bellies are often white or pale gray. Upper body is where the coloration is that helps in identification. Sawfish are dull browns, yellow, greens, or grays. Now, Arlong is freaking blue. That poses a problem. Neither sawsharks nor sawfish are blue.
However, blue does bleed into the grays. Looking at gray colorings, I think I tracked down the specific sawfish Arlong could be.
Pristis pectinata, or the Smalltooth sawfish. I figured Arlong himself would protest anything short of the word large but he clearly ain't the largetooth sawfish on account of his nose.
Largetooth looks like this:
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See how broad that nose is? Arlong's nose is narrow:
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And he is sort of bluish-gray. Being a ray doesn't detract from how cool he is. Rays still have dorsal fins and all the other fins sharks have with the small exception of the anal fin and their skin still feels like sandpaper. They're still carnivorous and they do use their nose to attack prey. And the males still have the two claspers, so y'know, ray lovin' is the same as shark lovin'.
Oda nailed that for Arlong. His attacks centered on his nose fit his species, his dorsal fin fits his species, his teeth not so much—those are very much shark teeth and not ray teeth but considering his nose is spiky instead of teeth-laden, I'm chalking the teeth up to artistic license. And the fact that Oda did technically get the species of fish entirely wrong in the first place.
The smalltooth sawfish can get up to 25 feet in length, weigh up to 770 lbs. and they can be gray or bluish-gray. Plus they have the narrow nose:
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In my personal opinion, Arlong is technically speaking a smalltooth sawfish fishman and not a sawshark fishman. He's a ray which is related to a shark but he is not a shark.
I have more points to make but those require me to delve more into his personality and characterization and this post is long enough. Let's just leave it at, I figured out which fish species he is and Oda muffed it but we love shark Arlong all the same.
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tjmystic · 3 months
Text
Before I say anything else, let me be clear that I support trans, nonbinary, and otherwise queer people. I support and want to validate the ways that they choose to present themselves and the things they need to make themselves feel like humans instead of weird dolls that someone slapped a gender onto arbitrarily. This is not a TERF post, I'm not interested in anything TERFs have to say.
Now, with that out of the way, I'm going to do a "woe is me, poor little privileged person" thing, and I'm well aware that it's going to sound dumb, but this blog is basically a virtual diary at this point, and, if you followed me, you signed up to sneak into my room with little flashlights and creep through the pages.
It is SO difficult to hold so-called "normal" or mainstream identities when, in large part, you don't want to have a community with any of the people who also hold such identities. And not just because of them. It's also because of people who are deemed transversive or abnormal. I recognize that this is a purely online problem and that most people who don't match the norm have to hide themselves away in fear lest they be attacked, but I'm not really interested in meeting or doing things with anyone in person, so virtual interaction is what I do. And because I reject everything fascist, white supremacist, evangelical, and misogynistic, most of my curated online experience is very queer. Usually, that's great. I'm not queer myself, but I usually feel like I have more in common with queer people than I do with other cis straights.
But not always.
Here's an example. I get that a lot of people hate the gender binary and find it oppressive. I completely agree that arbitrary gender roles are stupid. I also understand that gender isn't completely binary because, otherwise, nonbinary and agender people wouldn't exist. But people lose me when they say they want to abolish gender entirely. I am a woman and I like being a woman and I have always identified as either a girl or a woman. (Discounting one day when I was 4 and tried drawing hair on my chest with my mom's mascara because I COMPLETELY missed the point of Mulan and thought it meant you couldn't do cool stuff if you were or looked like a girl. My mom clarified things for me.) Taking that away from me would be taking away a big part of who I am and how I define myself. I don't even like the idea of anyone ever asking me about my pronouns, because the idea that someone couldn't be able to tell at first glance that I'm a woman makes me feel gross. Not because being anything besides a woman is gross, but because me being seen as anything other than what I am is. I already feel unsexy and ugly and unattractive on a daily basis, being mistaken for anything but a woman would just make that even worse.
On a similar note, I'm a monogamous person. I like the idea that other people have so much love to give that they don't want to be confined to a single romantic pairing. Sometimes. But, most of the time, hearing people openly describe their relationship goals with terms like, "I don't want to limit myself to one person" and, "It's stupid to think that one person can fulfill all of your emotional needs" is deeply depressing for me. It plants that seed of reminder that even people I think I have a kinship with would never think I'm enough in a relationship, that they would eventually get bored of me and want more because I just can't do it for them on my own. That is devastating to me.
Final example: I'm Christian. Literally no one needs me to explain why Christians are pretty much always the bad guys. Even I have a tendency to cringe away from or otherwise dismiss anyone who calls themselves Christian or talks about Jesus because I know the behaviors and attitudes associated with my religion. But it's still my religion. And seeing people call all religions cults, say we should do away with religion entirely, or claim that religion is the main source of people wanting to murder each other makes me want to bash my head against a wall.
But it doesn't feel like there's an alternative. I'm not talking to people who want to oppress or even murder trans and other queer people. I'm not participating in anything with people who think that enforced monogamy is a good thing. I don't actually see any kinship between myself and predominantly white nationalists who use Jesus as an excuse to do whatever the fuck they want. But it sometimes feels like the only alternative to that is being stuck in a weird "other" box.
I'm not expecting a reward for doing the bare minimum of rejecting the stupid and cruel parts of society. I'm not comparing my "struggle" or whatever to the genuine fear of assault and death that queer people have to deal with on a daily basis. It would just be nice if there was any kind of community that doesn't want to kill or hurt people but is also cool with liking some of the societal constructs we've been born with.
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fandomsnfluff · 10 months
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mammon & levi tk hcs!!
LOL i actually meant to post this way sooner but my mood has been dropping severely these past couple days and truth be told i'm not back at 100% yet but HERE I FINALLY AM!! i just couldn't help myself from making headcanons about these two, they're probably my favorite brother duo besides the twins 😭
of course, as always, reblogs are appreciated!! c:
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( gif source )
i. think it's pretty safe to say we know who's most often the lee and who's most often the ler in this brother relationship LMAO
hint: the lee is levi and the ler is mammon xD
levi is probably mammon's favorite victim. there tends to be SOME kind of roadblock in the way that simultaneously stops mammon from going after one of his other brothers and takes the enjoyment away from tickling them instead. lucifer is...well, he's lucifer, he's terrifying, satan is also quite scary even if you're trying to get him to laugh, the way asmo reacts sometimes rubs mammon the wrong way, beel is way too easily distracted, and tickling belphie in his sleep usually doesn't work very well.
so that just leaves levi. but in all honesty, mammon isn't too mad about it. he finds his brother's reactions extremely humorous and absolutely adorable.
however, since levi tends to fight back both physically and with insults if not tired out enough, mammon decided that whenever he tickles levi, he has no choice but to completely pin his brother down and tickle him until he's crying and breathless and completely weakened. levi takes 5000 damage every time.
in general, though, it's not too difficult to get a rise out of levi at all. he's just so helplessly ticklish that he can't help but just lie there, shrieking with laughter and far too weak to fight back! and the fact that for some reason he's hypersensitive to mammon's touch doesn't help him in the slightest!
mammon merely wiggling his fingers at levi is enough to get him to react; he'll squirm and start giggling before mammon is remotely close enough to strike. mammon will hover over a sensitive spot, twirling his hands around and ever so gently wiggling his fingers against the air over a tickle zone to make his brother contort his body around and squeal and kick out in an attempt to get away! basic moral of the story is that ghost tickles are TORTURE to levi and they instantaneously make him go into panic mode.
it's also especially bad with mammon because he is THE TEASING KING. like seriously whenever he tickles some (especially levi) he alwAYS HAS TO GET VERBAL ABOUT IT. AND HE'LL DO IT WHILE HE'S TICKLING HIM LITERALLY TO DEATH, SPEAKING AS IF HE'S HAVING A CASUAL CONVERSATION WHILE HIS BROTHER HOWLS WITH LAUGHTER. SAVE HIM PLEASE.
"damn, you're still this sensitive, huh?" he teases as he kneads levi's sides, the otaku breathless with howling laughter as he attempts to curl in on himself.
"ooh, i know your feetsies are ticklish too!" he'll say in a goofy tone as he skitters his fingers along the undersides of levi's feet, making him cackle and kick out.
"oh, it'd be such a shame if i got you ... HERE!" he crows as he hovers over levi's stomach before squeezing against his pudge without warning, causing him to shriek with laughter.
"what about under the arms? oh yeah, he loves under the arms!" he'll chuckle as he digs into levi's pits, his laughter going silent as he rolls around helplessly on the ground.
so yeah, moral of the story, lots of teasing and lots of baby talk. and, as we see here, it works WONDERS on levi.
most of the time and after a lot of teasing, mammon will double over in his own laughter though, mainly because he'll end up hitting a bad spot and causing levi to give that hilariously adorable shrieking cackle.
mammon will utilize his secret weapon of verbal teasing as he rapid-fire tickles levi all over. he'll start by getting his sides, then switch to his stomach, then his underarms, then his neck, and even his inner thighs and parts of his knees! within a minute he'll complete the cycle and start all over again! he'll be rambling off like a boss giving instructions to new hires and other employees while his brother is busy screaming with laughter and attempting to weakly squirm away. it's just too damn funny.
levi also has some pudge around his abdomen, and mammon likes to teasingly squeeze it just to make him squeal with laughter. his baby bro makes the cutest giggles when his pudge is targeted!! so of course these miniature attacks tend to turn into large-scale ones where mammon gets at every weak point on his body!
honestly any time mammon finds himself hanging out with levi he has to tickle him in some way. teasing pokes to the sides while he's in the middle of a video game on a portable console? sneaky drags of the fingernails up the sides of his neck while he's watching a scary movie? random tickle attacks when they find themselves in a massive cuddle pile after an exhausting day? mammon is ready to give his brother tickles all day, every day. levi is not safe.
tickling levi until he cries kind of becomes a weekly occurrence in the house of lamentation. seriously levi screams so loud that it can be heard at every corner of the house. it might make asmo mess up a fingernail, cause lucifer to drop his pen on the ground, hell it might even wake belphie up on a good day.
WHICH IS GOOD BECAUSE MERCILESS TICKLES FOR ANY LONGER THAN A MINUTE WILL CAUSE LEVI TO SHRIEK LUCIFER'S NAME FOR HELP. IT WAS SOMETHING HE DID WHEN THEY WERE KIDS WHEN MAMMON WOULD JUST NOT STOP TICKLE-TORTURING HIM. LIKE I SAID BEFORE: PLEASE SAVE HIM.
mammon usually has to tickle levi when he's sitting up in his chair playing a video game, but every so often he'll threaten to get him before sneaking up on him which turns into this massive game of chase. and rip levi because mammon is canonically the fastest demon brother & apparently levi is not the fastest runner and is very out of shape so mammon will have his brother completely pinned in no time before merciless tickles are given to him all over.
levi is usually already laughing from the anticipation of getting tickles, but as soon as mammon gets him, he just. he just screams and gives the hell up. that's it. he'll probably lose his voice within a minute from how intense it is.
thankfully mammon only made levi laugh so hard he peed himself ONCE. JUST ONCE IN THEIR MULTI-THOUSAND YEARS OF LIVING. and as expected it was when they were basically kids and levi already kind had to go to the bathroom, and...yeah, you can probably work out the rest of the details yourself LMAO
but, despite mammon's multiple victories and levi's shyness preventing him from getting revenge just as easily...there have been times when the younger has gotten back at mammon! of course, levi's face is usually the complexion of a tomato when he even tries, but getting to hear his brother's laughter is enough of a reward for him. he KNOWS mammon can dish it out all he wants but can't take it for shit.
90% of the time levi won't seek revenge though, partly because he knows he'll get destroyed tenfold in return and partly because he's too shy to even try
he tends to take part when lucifer is tying up mammon as a punishment and "requests help" from his brothers, when it means just tickling mammon. because he didn't get his older brother in this position himself, he's much less awkward and in fact is more than happy to join the eldest in his sadistic quest.
there was also a point in time where levi had to wake up mammon very quickly, and the only way he could think of to do that was by rapidly tickling against the bottoms of his feet while yelling, "WAKE UP!" of course, poor mammon woke with a start, no idea what the hell was going on and quite a bit grumpy for a while after having been disturbed from his sleep with something like TICKLES, no less.
so yeah. basically, moral of the story is that these two are dorks and i love them and their tickle shenanigans give me a lot of happiness and joy. ruthless, teasy tickle monster mammon to adorable, blushy lee levi is fucking canon. i'm calling it now & there's nothing u can do about it >0>
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bonefall · 1 year
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Looking into a lot of plant species/fruits/any edible things for a cat group to eat for a non wc project and I was wondering how you go about searching for all the information you scrape up? Trying to find good sources while also not spending days on research is trouble for me atm
Especially for the ovens thing that a sentient cat species can realistically make. Did that come form just researching a ton of early ovens/cooking tools and finding what ones could cats realistically make themselves?
Unfortunately, my research does take me several hours over many days. One of the reasons I decided these guides would be free for all to use, is exactly in the hopes that I can help prevent others from falling down the "research rabbit hole" like I always do, so they can spend more time creating
General Flora and Fauna
But when it comes to good sources on flora and fauna, I narrowed myself down to a loose geographical area and I look for field guides and surveys in that space. Anything produced for Northern Wales, the Western Midlands, and Northwestern England can become a treasure trove of information for me.
The Mersey Forest network is really helpful specifically, they do a lot of work restoring English forests and I learn a lot of really interesting things about forest health from them
Working Backwards; Plants
There's also times I start with a spice, or chemical in mind and work backwards. I had a much longer list of HRT herbs but then cut it down by literally checking them off a list when they couldn't grow in the right environment. I don't have the notes anymore, but I remember clearly that Saw Palmetto was on that list. Then from there I simply google "Is X Safe For Cats?" and if it gives me a "NO! Upset belly :(" result, I try to isolate the specific chemical to see if it's deadly toxic or just a plant.
Cool example of that is potatoes. Mashed potatoes are actually fine for a cat to eat, but raw potatoes are deadly because they contain solanine, which has to be cooked to be neutralized. Yeast, also. Raw yeast will kill a cat, but the baking process kills yeast when cooking. This is why I decided if I ever use baked goods, it will be with unleavened dough. Peonies got axxed for any medicine ever because of the chemical paeonol.
Technology; Bushcraft
This actually takes the most time of anything, because it's quite intensive. Epilepsy so far has taken me the longest time because I, admittedly, knew a lot less about epilepsy than I thought I did, and realized that while writing the guide and took extra time to educate myself... but when something like that doesn't happen? Bushcraft takes the longest.
That's because things that seem simple are actually quite complicated, and I try to understand the process behind something before I adapt it to cat paws.
You may have noticed I keep mentioning flax but haven't made its entry yet, and this is why. I literally learned how to process flax from scratch; and every time I hit a tool that was too advanced for cats, I asked, "Is there a simpler way to do this?"
As an example, there's a step in flax processing where you soften the grass into a workable fiber, and it uses a tool called a Flax Break like this,
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And, personally, I think that's a bit too advanced for the vibe I'm going for. So I said to myself, "Ok that's super-duper but CAN I just smash it with a rock"
So I dug deeper and tried to find someone who processed some flax from scratch, you know, like, just in their backyard or something. Went through some blogs and youtube channels focused on neolithic reconstructions of flax processing, and finally, I DID find a person who just. Beat the flax with a hammer, and was still able to scutch+heckle+spin the flax into linen.
But anyway, this process is actually why I'm so reluctant to cite sources in the posts... I already spend days, unpaid, doing this research and it's fun and I really enjoy it, but I can't also vet the social media of every Robert "I Live In The Woods" McGee to make sure they aren't a whackadoodle who thinks the Earth is flat before linking to one part of their blog in a tumblr post. And, knowing bushcrafters, it is probably a fair amount of them
Not even to mention how long the guides, which are meant to be straight-foward, would get if I infodumped every little neat tidbit I came across (I removed like 4 paragraphs of essay material from the flax post already and it's not even halfway done)
But, I do come across lots of really neat resources in my research, especially ones associated with some specific craft, like Ulster Linen who's been spinning flax for 4 generations and has a lot of great education about the history of linen on their site, and ThoughtCo who produces high-quality articles with education on... nearly every topic honestly, but I learned a lot about them for linen processing.
And lastly, when I'm researching bushcraft, I try to start with one of two "types" of searches. Ovens, as an example, "History of Ovens England, History of Ovens Wales" type searches, OR "Ancient Ovens England, Pre-Anglo Ovens Wales, Medieval Ovens, Anglo-Saxon Ovens, Celtic Ovens"
Basically: A "History of Region" search, or a "Timeframe" search to begin with
THEN I go on to "History of Ovens," or "Neolithic Ovens," or jump straight into "Bushcraft Ovens," or even end up following concepts from the first search I did. Personally, I find that first step extremely important because I have a specific region in mind. It gives me a "feeling" for what the early tech is going to look like, including the materials used, and even the sorts of resources they built their tech to process.
On that note, when I finally get around to describing WindClan's oven, you may be really interested to see how they set it up to handle the way they...... hmm. You know what I'll hold onto that one, as a surprise.
I'm going to be collaborating with @mokusai soon to make some instruments for Clan Cats, so I'm going to be looking at a lot of traditional instruments from the area with this method in mind
But anyway there's a walk down my process. I hope this is helpful in some way, I wish I had a Guide To Making Guides but my deep secret is just that I have a messy, curious brain that reads a lot
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Text
Phic Phight 2023 Phic 1
Title: The Water Bottle
AO3
For @phicphight
Prompt by @ectoplasmicsoda
Word Count: 2203
Prompt: Of all the A-Listers to find out his secret identity, Danny never expected it to be Kwan.
Summary: Danny was going through business as usual and noticed something was a little bit off with Kwan. Kwan on the other hand had Seen Shit ™️ and has to deal with it.
Warnings: very very occasional swearing, also mild description of injury (nothing too bad honestly)
This is the first fic I've ever posted. (Not just my first Phic Phight Phic). It's short and sweet, but I hope you like it.
Also shout out from my fellow Team Ghosts for being awesome!
"FENNNNNTURDDDDDD"
  The call rang out through the halls of Casper High. A seemingly scrawny, raven-headed boy sighed. Danny Fenton already knew this was gonna be a long day. Thursdays always suck. He turned to see the source of the voice, a muscular blond barreled towards him. The jock was flanked on either side by equally buff teens.
  "I just got an F on my math test, and you know what else starts with an F? You!" The blond spat.
 "Dash, don't you have better things to do? Like, I don't know, literally anything?" Danny replied.
   Dash was not very amused. He grabs the shorter teen by the collar and shoved him against the lockers. Danny barely even winced at the locker handle driving into his back. He looked over Dash's shoulder and noticed something odd.
 
 Dash's best friend, Kwan, was looking sympathetic towards him. Normally, he'd be smiling and joining in roasting Danny. And although he never physically hurt Danny, he never stopped Dash either. Now, Kwan's face looked almost pitiful with guilt. Maybe he finally grew up?
 
 That moment only lasted for a second however, as Dash encouraged him to join in. Then it was back to the same old smiling A-Lister watching his friend beat the shit out of someone. 
  Sam and Tucker tried their best to stop Dash, but they couldn't stop him. Blood trickled down Danny's nose as the wailing continued.
  The bell rang and the burly gang of boys dispersed. Danny rubbed his jaw and grabbed his books. At least he didn't have to phase himself out of his locker this time. His feet trekked onward to Mr. Lancer's class.
   English. The worst period of the day. Lancer droned on and on about the importance of Old Man and the Sea (by Ernest Hemingway). Danny's thoughts started to drift, turning his gaze out the window. He sat peacefully zoned out until a breath caught in his throat.
  A puff of cold mist shot out his mouth sending a chill down his spine. Great. Another one. He'd been up all night catching ghosts. The Box Ghost escaped three times. Three Times! Eventually, he was so desperate for sleep, he just left Boxy in the thermos overnight. Danny sighed. Guess he better deal with whoever it is this time.
"Mr Lancer! I have to use the bathroom." 
  The bald teacher turned around with a face that read 'Really again?'
"I suppose, Mr. Fenton, you can but be quick and actually return this time."
  Danny up and bolted, catching the same sympathetic glance from Kwan. Since when did Kwan care about his horrible bladder?
   
   Turns out the ghost was Skulker. The darn metal head just wouldn't leave him alone. He's been upgrading his tech a lot recently. It was nothing Danny couldn't handle, but he's had more injuries to hide than he used to.
   Skulker was souped pretty quickly, but not before Danny bruised a rib. Once the adrenaline of the fight wore off, a violent ache flared up in his side. This really was gonna be a long day.
 
  Danny flew back to the school and detransformed. On the bright side, he'll make it back to Lancer's class before it ends. He began his somewhat painful march back to class.
 "Mr Fenton, so glad you could rejoin us," Lancer greeted as he turned back to the board. 
 
  Danny took his seat and ignored the stares from his classmates. Once he sat down, they went back to whatever they were doing before. Several minutes passed before the bell finally rang.
   Danny was walking out of class when Dash "bumped" into him. Pain blossomed up his ribcage. He let out a faint whimper. When will it be time to go home?
   The raven-haired teen walked to his locker. Unfortunately he wasn't able to meet up with Sam or Tucker before the next class. When he opened his locker, he found a bottle of water and some ibuprofen. One of them must've stopped by before their class. He took the pills and grabbed his next set of textbooks.
   The rest of the day was slow, but uneventful. As he was walking out of his last class he met up with Sam and Tucker. Sam was grabbing her books while Tucker tapped away at his PDA.
  
 "Hey Danny! How's it going? Who'd you soup this time?" Tucker asked.
"Skulker," Danny practically groaned.
"He just doesn't give up does he?" Sam muttered. The goth then interrogated Danny over his injuries and grabbed some Neosporin for his cuts.
"Danny you need to be careful not to injure yourself next time," she stated.
"I'm fine! Besides I took those painkillers you left in my locker, so I'm not in pain really," he argued.
  Sam and Tucker both exchanged confused looks.
  Tucker was the first to speak,"Um, Dude, we didn't leave anything in your locker? We were held up by Mrs. Smith before we could get to your locker on time."
  A look of shock started creeping on Danny's face. If neither Sam or Tucker left it, then he could've been compromised. The question remains who did it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
   Kwan was having an interesting week. The first few days were normal enough. Football, homework, and picking on nerds took up most of his day. Though he would never go as far as Dash as to beat up students, he never saw the harm in throwing verbal insults at them. He and the A-Listers would always exchange roasts and such, but he supposed in a more loving manner than what they call the nerds.
  Wednesday night was when things changed. School went as normal. In football, he managed to beat a personal record. He also managed to score a date with Star, Paulina's second. He was really excited for that one. The plan was set to meet her Friday night and watch the newest Rapid and Rageful. All in all it was a good day. Kwan was felt giddy as he walked up to his front door. He couldn't wait to tell his parents about his new record or his date!
   Dinner was delicious as always. His mom always made the best Tteokbokki he'd ever had. Granted there weren't very other places nearby he could get some. Small towns in the Midwest didn't really get that many Korean restaurants. He put his plate in the sink before walking up to his room to work on homework.
 
   Geometry sucks ass. Kwan was staring at one of the problems for a good twenty minutes and eventually decided to take a break. His eyes haphazardly glanced out the window. A glow coming from just above a building caught his eye. Phantom. Looks like there's another ghost fight tonight. The hero (menace if you ask some of the local news anchors) was engaged in a battle with a purely white sheriff ghost. 
 
   Dash was always obsessed with how amazing Phantom was and how cool his powers were. Kwan had to admit he did admire the teen ghost for his heroics. And who wouldn't want to walk through walls, disappear, and fly? Kwan watched as the ghosts danced around the skyline, eventually drifting closer to his house.
    The sheriff ghost, Talker? Stalker? Whatever his name was, pulled out some sort of gun. Phantom's shoulders tensed up. The dead teen didn't have time to react before he was nailed straight in the chest. Kwan watched in concern as Phantom drifted down into the alleyway next to his house. Phantom stretched his hand before landing and fired a pretty powerful blast at the offender. Both ghosts landed hard on the ground.
     Kwan stuck his head outside the window. For a painfully long second, neither ghost moved. A blinding light burst out from the alley, causing Kwan to cover his eyes. Once the spots cleared from his vision he looked back down.
     Where Phantom laid, Danny Fenton got up. He was bruised, disheveled, and rocking some space pajamas. He hobbled over to where the other ghost laid while holding some sort of cylinder. Fenton opened the cap of the device and sucked the sheriff in. Kwan watched as the teen muttered something to himself before tucking the metal object into a back pocket.
     The excruciatingly bright light came back, and in Fenton's place stood Phantom. Kwan watched as the ghost boy took off into the setting sun. A strong wave of guilt crept into his head as he made the realization that Danny Fenton, the loser, the freak, the punching bag, was Phantom this entire time. Kwan came to the sickening realization that Dash had been beating up on his hero, and Danny, Danny let him? Fenton could've easily stopped Dash or any of the other guys honestly. Why didn't he? Kwan sat down as his mind reeled with the thoughts of Fenton, Phantom, and how, despite being bullied by Kwan and his friends, he still protected them.
Kwan felt sick.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   It was now Friday, and Danny's head was spinning. He asked Valerie about the water bottle and was disappointed to know it wasn't her either. He had told Valerie about his 'extra curricular activities' about six months ago when the dirt cleared up between Phantom and the Huntress after the whole incident with Dani. He went back through the possibilities in his head. Jazz was in college, so it couldn't have been her. Maybe it was someone who saw his beat down courtesy of Dash? But then why would they give him meds right after the ghost attack? This much thinking made his head hurt. He decided to put it aside and try to pay attention to class. 
   The rest of the morning droned on as usual. He failed his math test. Dash shoved him in a locker. Business as usual. Lunch time came around and Danny sat at the table with Sam, Tucker, and Valerie. Lunch was going relatively smoothly until Danny's ghost sense went off. He groaned in annoyance.
"See you guys at gym class," he muttered and took off. 
   Skulker. Again! Seriously?! The robotic ghost charged after him.
"Today is the day your pelt will hang, whelp!" Skulker roared.
"Let's make this quick. I got a test later," Danny called out.
The two engaged in battle. Skulker pulled out a flaming, green Laser sword.
"Ya know if your mind was as sharp as that sword you'd know you won't win this!" Phantom mocked. Skulker lunged at him and grazed the teen's arm. 
   The battle went on for another few minutes before Danny finally souped him. He flew back to school with a few minutes left before PE. He landed in the empty locker room and looked at his bleeding forearm. Somehow he's gotta cover this up. He walked over to his locker to grab his duffle bag. While scrounging around for the first aid kit Sam gave him, a voice brought him back to reality.
"Let me see it."
  Danny whipped his head over expecting Tucker, but was surprised to see a bulkier person instead. He looked up to see Kwan. A slight bit of panic entered his mind. Did he see his cut?
"See what? I don't know what you're talking about," he replied as coolly as possible.
"Your arm."
 The color drained from Danny's face. How'd he know about the arm? Did he see it walking in? He scanned Kwan's face for any deception or insincerity, but found none. Hesitantly he uncovered his arm.
"Ouch. That's a pretty nasty gash. The tin can really did a number on you." Kwan inspected the wound and pulled out some gauze. Carefully, he wrapped up the wound. 
"Why?" was all Danny managed to say, "why are you helping me?"
"Because you helped us so many times only for us to treat you like shit." Kwan tightened the bandage to help stop the bleeding, "I should be asking you why you helped me. You saved me and the other A-Listers countless times." 
   Danny looked at him like the answer was obvious. He opened his mouth and replied, "It was the right thing to do."
   Kwan finished and admired his work. Danny murmured a thank you, and Kwan told him it was the least he could do. The taller of the two got up to head to his locker.
"Hey Kwan?" He turned around to look at Danny, "out of all the A-Listers, I never thought you'd be the first to find out. Which reminds me, how exactly did you discover my other half?"
  Kwan flushed from embarrassment, "Well it was sort of an accident." 
  He recalled the events from Wednesday night. Danny's eyes widened.
"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO PUT THAT WATER BOTTLE IN MY LOCKER! I've been trying to figure that out since yesterday! That makes so much more sense," Danny said, smacking his own face. Kwan snicked.
"Yeah that was me."
"Hey Kwan? Could you maybe possibly not tell anyone about the whole Phantom thing? If it became public, Skulker wouldn't be the only one hunting me."
"Of course! It's the least I could do!"
"Thanks for that and also the water bottle."
"Yep! Well we should probably split since seeing the two of us getting along would be suspicious."
"See you around, Kwan."
"See you around."
   The two parted ways knowing that Team Phantom might have just gained another member.
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evelhak · 1 year
Text
KnB 30-day challenge
1. Favourite Male Character
Okay, I'm sure this isn't a surprise to anyone who actively follows me, but...
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It's going to have to be Kuroko. Years ago, I originally felt like someone else would have to be my favourite, because the reason why he's my favourite is that no other character ever in any media has made me feel so understood. And that's a pretty self-centred reason. (Dear younger me, if you're going to have a complex about something, at least pick something that makes even a little bit of sense.) Luckily, I'm over it now.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this post, so I'm going to ramble about this character's meaning to me. I've said this somewhere before, but this feeling of being understood because of the kind of character Kuroko is, is why I started writing KnB fanfiction. I was so overwhelmed that I felt like I had to give back somehow. Obviously I couldn't give back to the original creator in any meaningful way apart from buying the manga. And then there was this thing the creator said somewhere... that he had no idea what was going on in Kuroko's head for most of the time, that he was the hardest character for him to understand. And I nearly couldn't believe it. I was like... well then, mister, you have done a fabulous job fooling me. And at some point I started feeling like that was something I could do, I could show what was going on in Kuroko's head, and in that way I would get to not only give back to the character but the community, the other fans who felt deeply about this series.
Obviously, I didn't know if anyone was going to actually like my interpretation of Kuroko (or the other characters for that matter), but I've felt deeply lucky and humbled, by the readers finding my fics, who have told me my characterizations really resonate with them. (Even though the ones telling me my Kuroko is their favourite or that they consider my work canon in their head still make me want to run and hide a little. But I won't.)
Kuroko is really special to me, because I dislike writing about characters I relate to on that level. For some reason I can't write self-inserts, I can't even read stories where you're supposed to insert yourself into it. That's fine. But. It also means that there are some issues that I never get to write about in a way that I personally truly relate to. But... a lot of those things were already in canon Kuroko by accident. I didn't put them there, and that's why in this one instance I was able to persuade my tricky head into using my own life experience to make some of those things that were already in Kuroko, a little deeper, a little more significant to the story, and in some cases just let go of my inhibitions and interpret something in a way it was definitely not meant in canon, simply because it would be meaningful to me to see it that way.
Anyone who is up to date with my fics will know how far I have come from my fear of exercising too much freedom of interpretation, haha... I will literally do anything I want at this point. Still needs to be canon-based to satisfy my head, (like, there has to be at least one scene in canon that in my head, believably supports my interpretation) but I have definitely learned to not hold back. After all, it's just fanfiction, it's not that serious. (Even though I take it as seriously as my original writing.) I can do my thing and other people can do theirs. I'm so excited about all the things I'm still yet to write about this character. I know that a lot of people think that you should write the stuff that is the most important to you in your original fiction, but there are things I literally can't write through any other character than Kuroko. Same has started to apply to other characters through writing in this fandom too, because I can't separate these ideas I've gotten through writing, from their sources. They would lose so much meaning and detail if I tried, they are just too organic to the story.
I still can't give my actual lived experience to a fictional character, because that will feel disingenuous to me no matter what, but what I can give them is the abstract, theoretical knowledge I've gathered from those life experiences, and I will continue to use that to write Kuroko in a way that feels satisfying and honest to me. Sometimes it means I relate to the storyline I write for Kuroko, sometimes it means it's the literal opposite of what I would relate to, and sometimes it has no relation to me whatsoever. I just don't know how to stop at this point and being able to use myself in any way to enhance a character who essentially did the same to me, is a really unique experience. And knowing what has been meaningful to me has been meaningful to other people too, continues to inspire me.
Wish me luck trying to shorten the amount of time it takes me in real life to cover one year in the fic, because if I don't, it's going to get way more ridiculous than a few seconds in their games being ten minutes in an episode.
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daenerys-targaryen · 6 months
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How do you keep going in this fandom? Dany literally kept me alive and I will always be grateful to her for that but her antis drain the joy out of every single fun part of fandom. You can curate your space as meticulously as you like but the freaks will still screenshot your posts to dunk on you or send your stuff to other people's asks just to stir some drama up. How do you do it?
short answer: 1. because I will always have nothing but pure love and adoration for her in my heart and no one will ever take that away and 2. spite :)
long answer: under the cut
I'm sooo sorry you were going through such a hard time but I'm so so glad that she was able to do that for you. I love hearing how much dany means to us fans especially when it's being told to me so thank you for sharing that and I relate. As for the answer to your question, in my opinion I left the fandom for a long long time after the show ended just because it it was truly horrible here after about a year. I left my got blog, I unfollowed and left source blogs, I blacklisted the tags like I did not want to see anything about it anywhere and we couldn't even talk about it in my house for like a year LMAO and not just from me and it did take me a wwwhhiiilleee to really even follow some of my mutuals back you know and honestly it was just this past summer I truly got back into the fandom and started re reading the books again actively posting content about it albeit mostly on twitter though (i know 😭🤡) and that's because there are so. many. dany stans over there! it's so cool! i mean literally like countless endless amounts I hadn't been on asoiaf twitter ever really so I just didn't KNOW it was so large but I don't even know how I found them but I managed to find some old mutuals from when they were on here and then found more and more and over here? on this website? it's my opinion that this websites opinion in terms of book dany are what we used to think of reddit was years ago. actually TODAY I saw a pro dany post on reddit and I was like ?!?! pleasantly shocked ! I was like omg nature is healing. but anyways. over here? I go through my archive and I see so many of my old dany mutuals either just inactive or deactivated our people on here are GONE :( for me I guess I'll never not be in the fandom because I won't ever stop loving her and posting about her you know? there are some things in this world that really do just leave such an imprint on you as a person and on your soul and she's one of those things for me. I can say that overall just having mutuals and people to interact with and friends do make it so better. I'm really good about not seeing anti dany stuff on here because this is my home and I'm not bringing dirt in so I am veeeeeeery careful about who I follow in terms of asoiaf but over on twitter it's a bit harder not to see anti stuff because there aren't tags to blacklist to avoid you know? so I do see bs nonstop over there but thankfully I also know that I don't have to open that stupid app every day or be on it for a long time so when it seems like it's a lot I just don't open the app so it's not too big of a deal. and of course there are days where it really is a beat down like it's so incredibly dumb you'd think she were as really dark and controversial as they make her out to be I really just have to point and laugh. it's the internet there will always be someone screenshotting something and starting drama and there will always be people tagging my dany content with anti tags but I'm not going to stop posting about my favorite character or interacting with posts about her. really at the end of the day my love for her outshines any hate I didn't stop loving her then and I'm not going to stop loving her now. I will love her until I am cold and dead and six feet under and I'm very stubborn and love with my whole being so as long as I'm in online spaces I'll be in there posting about her
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darsynia · 1 year
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Hello.
If you prefer to keep this ask private, please do. I've been catching up on your fics and it has been a treat! One question keeps popping in my mind, and I mean this is the most complimentary way.
You draw me into a world and I want to stay there. The quality of your writing is so very good, a delight to read. And I admire the quantity and frequency of your posts, each one as good as the previous. Any tips/secrets for maintaining excellence time after time?
Hope you are well and finding peace during this month.
This is truly just the nicest thing to say and ask, and I greatly appreciate it! A flippant quick answer is 'obsession and mental illness' but honestly encouragement like this as well as people who read and enjoy is one of the biggest motivators EVER. I am lucky enough to like my own writing, so when no one else is interested, I'm still happy, which I feel very blessed for.
Having a crisis of confidence lately that's solely related to medicine futziness (had a stomach flu that prevented absorption), so I waffled about making this private or not. I hope I didn't misread you about whether YOU wanted it to be private-- if you do, just PM me or respond and I'll flip it to private ASAP.
Of my favorite things is just steeping my writing and planning in themes. Some of it is unconscious; my gender neutral Reader/Tony Stark story was titled with the word 'cocoon' before I reached a part of the story where I compared Tony to a butterfly, and I hadn't realized I was going to do that! Other times it's purposeful, especially with OCs. For Trust Fall, I wanted to create a character that causes Tony to examine his own narcissism and tendency to use people, and I did that by making the love interest a clearly smart, capable character who lets people walk all over her because it makes her job easier. Tony can't fall in love with her without understanding his own failings, so I basically used his personality against him, to write a growth arc.
For Ephemera, the phrase 'nothing gold can stay' really was in the back of my mind, along with the whole intangibility thing. The event they reference is a moment where a character erased half of the population (they literally turned to dust), and most of the people who witnessed this had no preparation, they couldn't reach out to hold onto any of the remaining pieces. So the artist burns people's valuable stuff into dust that she traps in see-through plastic, so they can hold onto that, instead. Similarly, she couldn't hold onto Steve, but now that he's back, she is deliberately letting him slip through her fingers.
Having a baseline theme or two for a story really helps make everything more REAL to me, that and my adoration for the source material and need to make it as real as possible. One last thing is I tend to hew very closely to what canon writers would choose, if that makes sense? Like I tend to try for as realistic as possible, and it feels more real, like it could be on screen without the people funding the project objecting to 'fan service' or whatever. I'm not sure if that's always the case but I've noticed that in my writing.
As for unhelpful to others, but big things that help me is that I used to procrastinate so much in high school that I'd wait till one or two days before a huge deadline and literally HAD to have my first draft be almost perfect. That's… poor planning and not really translatable, heh. It cuts a TON of time off, though. I COULD spend more time editing each chapter, and I do, for original work, but tend to just… not. Especially during focused times.
Another thing I was thinking about as I pondered an answer was… literally just being unnaturally obsessed/in love with the subjects, giving me a level of confidence that translates into the writing? Hah. Which is also not really helpful.
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