#was listening to 21 guns by green day and got punched in the face by the memory of that fucking phineas and ferb video. god

[epicdogymoment]

this hellsite has broken me

#leologisms #was listening to 21 guns by green day and got punched in the face by the memory of that fucking phineas and ferb video. god

[toomuchtv95]

My Savior Part 1

Characters: Jay Halstead x Reader, WIll Halstead, Jake (OC)

Word Count: 2.5k+

Chapter Warnings: Kidnapping, Domestic Abuse, Swearing 

A/n: So I am just finishing up part 2 and I am going to start writing part 3. I am going to see how much feedback and stuff I get from the first 3 parts and then I will see where to go from there. Anyways, let me know what you guys think. 

Enjoy! :)

Series MasterList

(PS. I do not own the gif. Credits to whoever owns it.)

Jay Halstead walked back into your life, 6months ago while you were working the bar that your husband owned. Jay and you were childhood friends that eventually lead to being high school sweethearts, and after he enlisted in the army the two of you lost contact for a while. Once Jay returned from the Army, you had run into him a few times over the years and had shared a few nights together but nothing serious ever came out of it. When Jay came into the bar, you found out that he was a detective at the 21st district and has investigated a murder that Jake, your husband, may have been involved in. He said that they had evidence that Jake was part of a murder that had gone down because of a gun deal went bad. But in the end, the evidence wasn’t enough.

When you first meet Jake, you had no idea he was part of the gun dealing business, he acted like a perfect gentleman and you fell in love with him and two of you got married. Once the two of you got married, you started to notice that he was gone a lot, always on the phone or working late at his bar. The first night, you questioned where he was, he laid his hand on your cheek and left the house again. One night after Jay came by the bar, you couldn’t help but wonder, so you did some snooping of your own and what you found was shocking. Jake was part of the gun dealing business and much more. After that night, the hitting became more and worse and that when you started to realize that Jake never really loved you.

It has been a couple of months since you saw Jay, and you weren’t going to lie, you been thinking a lot about him. This afternoon, your neighbors had called 911 and saying that they heard yelling and a loud crashing sound. When your husband answered the door, two detectives were flashing their badges. Jay and his partnered walked into the house to look around and saw the shattered glass on the floor. When you appeared in the hall, Jay asked what happen and you told him that you had dropped the vase. Jay caught a small glimpse of your cheek and asked you if Jake was the one who caused the bruise and of course you denied it and said you had fallen down the stairs. You could see the anger in his eyes because he had an idea what had to happen here but of course, he couldn't do anything without proof. Before leaving Jay had slipped you his card in hopes that you would reach out to him.

“I have some business to take care of, clean this mess up.” Jake walked out of the living room and went into the office, slamming the door behind him. Getting the cleaning supplies, you needed you started to clean the floor but stopped for a moment to grab the business card from your pocket and more tears rolled down your face.

You wanted nothing more to leave this life, and get away from Jake, but you knew if you left, he would find you and hurt you or worse. After dinner, you were in the kitchen cleaning up, when you heard Jake rolled into the room. “What the hell is this?” You turned around to see Jake holding Jay’s card in his hand.

“It’s nothing,” you stuttered as you turned back around to clean the dishes. “The detective left his card its protocol. I was going to throw it away, but I got distracted with dinner.” You closed your eyes in hope that he believes your story, but of course, he didn't.

"You think I'm stupid?" Jake came up behind you, grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked you backward. “Are you cheating on me with that cop?!” Anger filled the room as he jerked you down to the floor and punched you in the face. “How could you do this? After everything I’ve given you!”

“You never loved me, did you?” Tears filled your eyes not because of Jake, but because of the pain. Looking into his eyes, you saw anger, hate and everything but love. His hands tightening around your throat, you were sure they would leave a bruise.

“How could I? Look at you, you’re just a worthless piece of shit. I've had a better lay from a stranger than you.” He let go of you and rolled his eyes at you before grabbing his keys and leaving the house. Laying on the floor you cried your eyes out. All you want to do was leave. Looking across the room, you crawled over to the piece of paper and leaned yourself against the counter.

Your eyes leaked with tears. Your walls, the walls that held you together, finally collapsed. Salty tears rolled down your face. Perhaps the tears would help wash the blood that had trickled from your busted lip. You pressed your head against the counter as you reached for your phone off the counter and punched in the number that was on the card. It rung 2 times before the voice came from the other side of the phone. “This is Halstead.” Hearing his voice was a relief, but something stopped you from speaking. “Y/N? Is that you?”

“J-a-y….”

“Y/N what’s wrong?” You heard the worry in his voice.

“Jake,” was the only words you could manage to get out and Jay knew exactly what you meant.

“Where is he?” You heard shuffling on the other end of the line which means Jay was coming to get you.  

“I don’t know, he left.”

“Okay, listen to me.” Wiping the tears and blood from your face, you held your eyes tightly shut waiting for Jay to continue. "I need you to find a room and lock yourself in there and don't open it until I get there okay?"

“Ok-ay,” you choked on your words as you slowly got off the floor. “Jay, please hurry. I don’t know when he will be back.” After hanging up the phone, you did as Jay told you and hid in the bedroom.

As Jay pulled up to your house, he unholstered his gun and slowly made his way into the house. Looking around the first floor, he saw a shattered plate in the kitchen sink, along with some blood on the floor. Making his way upstairs, he checked the rest of the rooms before finally approaching the master bedroom. “Y/N, it’s Jay.” Jay heard movement from behind the door, as he holstered his gun. Once the door open, Jay took a once look over you and could see how fragile you were. “He did this to you didn’t he?” Jay light brushed the hair out of your face, to expose the light bruising forming on your, your busted lip that had now dried blood and the former bruise that laid on the side of your face.

You nodded you headed slowly as more tears formed and rolled down your cheek. “If I leave, he will find me and hurt me or worse…”

“Come with me and I will make sure you safe.” Jay lightly touched your upper arms, which caused you to slightly flinch, which caused him to pull away. You nodded your head and let Jay lead the way down the stairs and towards the first door.

You came to a stop at the front door causing Jay to stop. “The office. His laptop is in there. All the information you need is on there.” Jay nodded his head before slipping away to the office to grab the laptop. As you waited for Jay in the hallway, you hugged yourself and wiped your tears with your fingertips. You grabbed your coat from the coatrack as Jay walked out of the office the laptop and a file folder.

“Okay, come on. Let’s get out of here.” Jay placed his hand on your lower back and guided you outside to his truck. As the two of you got in the car, you stared out the window and for a few blocks it was quiet until Jay spoke up. "How long?"

“Jay…” Pulling away from the window you looked over at Jay and the two held contact for a moment before he looked back at the road. "He wasn't always like this. He started off as a great guy until we married, and I started to notice things. He would be gone for hours at a time, sometimes days, and always on the phone. So, when I asked him, he got angry and-” you stopped mid-sentence as more tears formed in your eyes. You honestly were tired of crying and you didn’t even think you had any more left in you.

Jay reached over and hesitated for a moment before lightly giving your hand a light squeeze. “Y/N, I am going to do everything I can to protect you, I promise.” The car came to a stop at a red light which gave Jay a chance to turn and face you. “You can stay with me as long as you need. I have a spare bedroom that isn’t being used.” You didn’t want to intrude but you didn’t have anywhere to go and there was no way you are going back to Jake.

“So, what happens now?”

“I take this to my boss, and if all the evidence is on that laptop like you say, then Jake going away for a long time. And we work on getting your divorce which might not be easy if he doesn't sign the papers, but there are ways around getting a divorce without his consent. But let’s focus on charging him first okay?” You nodded your head just as the light green and Jay continued you to drive.

Once the two of you got to Jay’s apartment, he gave you a quick tour of the place and showed you where everything was. "And this is the guest bedroom, it's barely been used expect the couple times Will has spent the night." You picked at the ends of your sweater to avoid looking at Jay or anything. “I know this is a lot to take in, so I let you be and get settled. I’ll bring you some clothes and fresh towels.”

Jay turned around and started to head out the door, but you finally found your voice, “thank you, Jay.” Jay turned to look at you and he could see that you were on the verge of tears again. Jay took slow steps towards you making sure you were okay with him approaching you. Once Jay stood in front of you, you sobbed into his chest, endlessly, hands clutching at his shirt. He held you in silence, rubbing your back slowly as your tears soaked his chest.

It’s been about a week since Jay had taken you out of your house and brought you to safety. After intelligence had gotten all the evidence, they had gone to go find him but unfortunately, he was nowhere to be found, but Jay promised you that they were not going to stop looking for him. The house, the bar and whatever else Jake owned was now owned by the bank. The bar was a front for his gun selling business and the house was paid with the money from that business. Even though, the two of you were married your name was not any of that stuff, so you were thankful for that. The only money you had was whatever you had saved from before your marriage, and before and during working at the bar. 

“How are you doing otherwise?” Today, you were back at Med getting your stitched taken out that had laid above your eyebrow. This is the first time since that night, that you have left the house and you were a little scared. Jake was still out there, and he could reappear any moment.

“I’m fine.” The bruise that had begun as a purple stain above your eyebrow had now sunk into the socket itself, and so now it had the appearance of a black eye. The bruising around your neck had turned into this nasty yellow-brown looking. Once Will took out the stitched, he took a once look at your bruises to make sure everything was healing right.

Will tossed his gloves in the garbage can and takes a seat back down on the stool. “I can’t even imagine what you went through, and I know it can’t be easy, but keeping it bottled up isn’t good.”

“I’m just not ready to talk about…” Will knew from experience not to push someone because they usually push back. Grabbing his prescription from his pocket, Will scribbled something on it before handed you the piece a paper.

"It's a low dosage of sleeping medication. It will help you sleep." You had no idea how Will could know that you weren’t sleeping that well. Maybe he saw it in your face or maybe Will was just that good of a doctor. "The bruising should start fading soon. Anyways, your good to go.”

After Will left the room, you pulled out your phone and texted Jay telling him you were ready to be picked from your appointment. Within seconds he replied stating that he would be there in 10 minutes. As you left the room, you waved goodbye to Will and headed out to wait for Jay in the parking lot. The moment you stepped outside, you felt a chill run down your spine and you weren't if it was the autumn breeze or the feeling that something was off. You hugged yourself and silently prayed that Jay would show up soon. Seconds later, you felt something hard press up against your back and a hand cupping your face causing fear to take over your body.

“You make a sound and I swear to god I will pull the trigger.” Your eyes widen and your breath became harsher. He found you and now he was going to kill you for leaving him. “I’m removing my hand and you are not going to make a sound. Now move.” Jake slowly removed his hand and you know better not to make a sound. Jake pressed the gun harder into your back to single you to move. You walked slowly in hopes to stall him long enough for Jay to show up.

“Don’t do this.” Tears filled your eyes as you whispered just loud enough for him to hear. Jake ignored you and wrapped his free hand roughly on your upper arm and guided you into the parking lot.

As the two of you walked into the parking lot and approached a black car with tinted windows and no license plates. “Get in the car.” Without hesitation, you got into the car and Jake grabbed your purse and tossed into onto the ground. Jake tucked the gun in his waistband then pulled out zip ties and tied your hands together. “You think that you can just leave, and I wouldn’t find you? I have resources everywhere.” He pulled out a handkerchief from his back pocket and tied into around your mouth to keep you from yelling for help.

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#jay halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead fanfiction #Chicago PD

[ussgallifrey]

Up On The Housetop

✦ Summary: You meet him in the most peculiar of ways. Or, the five times Bucky was incapable of using a door and the one time he was. ✦ Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader ✦ Warnings: Mentions of violence ✦ Word Count: 2.1k ✦ Author’s Note: I was listening to Christmas music when I had this hysterical image of Bucky crashing through a window as the song played in my head. It sparked this. 

01. Journey Coffee House, Midtown Manhattan - November 13, 2026

You're already running late for work when you enter the busy cafe. The downpour outside had spurred you on in search of something warm. Anything to get your day moving in a better direction after the failed alarm and lack of matching scrubs to wear. There's a line wrapped around the front tables, stopping with you directly off to the side of the front doors.

If you bought the boss's usual order, you might be able to smooth this right over. As the minutes tick by and the line slowly eases forward, you're praying for a miracle to get you off the hook for being so late. By the time you make it down to the hospital, you'll be at least fifteen minutes behind. Maybe a few chocolate scones would need to be bought to make it pass with the head nurse.

"Oh my god," someone behind you says before the sharp crash of glass against the floor has the place thrown into a panic.

Screams ring out as a fight rages on, only feet away from you. A soaking wet mess of black tactical trying to pull some freak in neon green off his back.

They're clambering for control over broken glass shards, sending patrons scattering in the moment. With your back pressed up against the still intact window, the men struggle past you. Before the one in black sends the other down by throwing him into a table. It splits in half with the sudden weight. And then he's on top of the guy in green.

You let the breath you were holding in finally release. The man stands up, bruised and worse for wear as he sheepishly surveys the damage. And then he's hauling the other guy off the floor and out into the downpour of the street. 

It takes you a full hour to get to work and by that point news footage of the Avengers fighting has taken over the TV at the nurse's station. A video pans across the devastation to show the Winter Soldier dragging the wannabe villain down the street.

02. Bank of America, Lower Manhattan - November 21

This week has Saturday as your one day to get all the errands done. Which, unfortunately, means going in to pay off a portion of your bank loan. Ever since last winter when the major storm in January took out your furnace and busted a water pipe in the apartment above you, things had been unbearably tight in the financial sense. But it was almost paid off, a damn year later.

You're almost finished up with the teller when a series of gunshots ring out in the open lobby. 

A startled scream escapes your throat as the world grows hazy. Surrounded by a group of guards stands a masked man. He's saying something, but you can't really hear it with the hot wave of terror running through your veins. But as people start dropping to the ground, you're quick to follow.

If it was just a robbery, there wouldn't be all the theatrics. But it seems the main guy ranting in the center of the room has a personal vendetta against this particular bank - just your luck, of course. He's got a gun pointed at an employee in a blue suit, something about past employment being vehemently spat out.

A guard pulls your purse in search of valuables - he'll be lucky if he finds anything. Maybe a handful of quarters for the vending machine and a few dollars rolling around in an otherwise empty wallet.

And then there's a burst of glass. Shielding your eyes as the decorative ceiling falls in, you hear the drop of boots on the marble floor. And then punching, shouting, more shooting. You dare a peak, finding a flash of red and black wings. Curling in further to make yourself as small as possible between the wooden divider of the teller's booth.

A final punch brings heavy breaths and then… silence. Slowly bringing your head up, you see two of the Avengers wiping blood from their mouths as they round up the group of robbers. Another rush of team members follows shortly after as they check for damage.

The Winter Soldier meets your silent gaze and he gives you a funny look in return. A small quirk of his lips as he recognizes you from the cafe just a week prior. And oddly enough, you feel yourself smiling back before an agent walks over to check you for injuries. He's already gone once you've been cleared to go.

03. Brooklyn Hospital's Emergency Department, Brooklyn - December 4

Things have been relatively calm for a Friday. Enough time in between patients gives you and a few of the other nurses a chance to put up more of the usual decorations. Snowflake garland along the main desk. A small tree in the waiting room. Stockings behind the nurse's station bearing the names of the main residents. 

"Hey, Sara? Can you hand me another one?" You ask, balancing rather haphazardly on a desk chair as you press red and green ornament stickers onto the window.

The automatic doors slide open with a rush of cold air and a loud amount of bickering. Hopping down, you catch the sight of dark crimson as two figures rush towards the desk.

"'m fine," the one says.

"Like hell you are," the other barks, seemingly holding the majority of the bleeding man's weight.

There's a flurry of people as the one is brought back to a room. 

"Yeah," Sam Wilson sighs with a heavy hand against his forehead, "He jumped from the thirty-first floor."

You gape, amazed that anyone could survive that fall - let alone walk after it. And then your brain clicks together when you realize who the two men are.

Your name is shouted from the first exam room by the doctor on call, "All hands on deck!"

In an instant, you're there with three other nurses, applying pressure to the main lacerations. Squeezing down on the right forearm as the doctor applies pressure to the massive wound on the inner thigh, the Winter Soldier groans.

And then he blinks as another nurse tries to place an oxygen mask on him before he loses consciousness. He tries to bat at it with his metal hand to little avail. But then he seems to meet your gaze. 

"'Course you'd be here."

And he laughs. He collapses back as he full-on laughs.

04. Flatbush Shopping Center, Boerum Hill - December 17

The mall is pleasantly warm but far too crowded for your taste. However, you're desperately scouring for a secret Santa gift for the Christmas Party and you've all but ran out of options before it starts in four hours. The opportunity hadn't presented itself until today, as you covered shifts and worked the graveyard hours more often than you would have liked.

It took enough energy just to throw your scrubs in the wash and eat a microwave meal before collapsing on your bed. You certainly hadn't had the energy left to actually shop. But now your time had run out and you were only allotted a few more hours before something had to be wrapped and delivered.

The crazed holiday shoppers don't fully overpower the sparkling decor, yet. The arches of garland, the silver and gold tinsel bells, the giant lighted candy canes. It's a nice change of pace from the homemade decor at the emergency room. And it smells better too, something warm and sweet wafting through the mall from Auntie Anne's. 

And then there's a cracking and shattering spray of glass as a fight breaks out. Somehow, you're not even surprised by who you see. A flash of dark hair and gleaming metal as a jingling green elf is tackled to the ground. 

A crowd's forming, phone's raised to try and capture the Winter Soldier attacking one of Santa's elves. But a spread of security guards is holding everyone back. You almost want to roll your eyes, but you can't help the smile appearing on your face. 

When it's all over and the police are toting a bruised man in elf ears through the mall, he spots you still standing by the escalator with an amused smirk on your lips.

He hides his grin as he pushes his hair back behind his ear. And then, he's actually walking over to you.

Somehow, you can't help what comes out as he stops in front of you.

"So, what's with you and glass?"

He barks a laugh and it surges right to your heart. 

05. Cranberry Street Apartments, Brooklyn Heights - December 24

The radio crackles on the kitchen counter as you finish another tray of cookies. A classic Christmas station guiding you through the late night as you strive to get that second batch done. The first had been horrifically burned on the bottom and you were ready to prove your baking skills to your family tomorrow. 

Your apartment is well decorated this time. A little here and there over the past year led to even more lights for the windows and a decent sized tree by the computer desk. You'd even managed to buy some fairy lights for above the bed, but they were definitely staying up the full year-round.

As you slide the last few cookies onto the wire rack for cooling, the radio switches over to another song.

"Up on the housetop, reindeer pause / Out jumps good ol' Santa Claus / Down through the chimney with lots of toys / All for the little ones, Christmas joys!"

You hum along, gliding across the kitchen floor. Tapping the carrot noses of your two small ceramic snowmen on the countertop.

And then… a crack of glass.

You freeze as your living room window shatters into a mess of glittering tiny blue shards. Two bodies tumble in, over the top of your couch, crashing into your coffee table and breaking it in half with the combined weight. 

Stumbling backwards into the fridge, you sink down to the floor as punches are thrown. Watching in horror as your apartment is shredded to pieces.

A broken wooden leg from the remnants of your table is used as a weapon for the Winter Soldier against a faceless enemy. It collapses onto your floor as the victor's chest heaves with deep breaths.

And then he turns, face speckled with bright red blood as he finally takes you in.

"Seriously?" you squeak from your small position on the floor.

He stands with a groan. Rubbing his hand on the back of his neck with a sheepish expression. Eyes shining with something sweet and amusing.

Moving from your spot on the kitchen floor, you offer him a fresh-baked cookie. He seems hesitant, considering the unbelievable circumstances of his appearance. But you insist. He perches on your lone barstool as you wait for the authorities to arrive to collect another bad guy.

Warm cookies and laughs shared easily between you. And despite how it happened, it's marked down as one of your best Christmas Eves to date.

+ 01. Cranberry Street Apartments, Brooklyn Heights - December 31

There's a nervous rap of knuckles against your front door. Pulling yourself from the kitchen, you hesitantly open the door - expecting another person from Stark's insurance team to tie up the loose ends of your claim. But instead, you're met with sweet blue eyes and a small smile.

Opening the door all the way, you lean against the frame as Bucky holds out a single white rose.

"Just wanted to say sorry, again," he laments as you take the flower, holding it close to your chest.

You let a laugh slip from your lips, "Like I told you the other night, not your fault. Though I am concerned about your habit of coming in through windows."

He laughs as you raise your brows with a bright gleam.

"To be fair, I did use your door this time."

You give a nod, feeling the flutter of excitement in your belly. "You did. Very commendable. Should make a habit of it."

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he rocks back on the balls of his feet. And you become acutely aware that you're still holding this conversation in the open hallway of your apartment building.

"Yeah?" He quips after a moment, "Does that apply to all doors or… or just yours?"

There's a pleasant thrum in your head as your heart sings sweetly in your chest. Holding out a hand, warm fingers tentatively take yours as you bring him inside your apartment. The promise of something new and exhilarating to bring in the new year as he squeezes your hand for the first time.

Permanent Tag List: @buckybarneshairpullingkink​​ | @diinofayce​ | @lambs-to-the-cosmic-slaughter​ | @majesticavenger​ | @s-trawberryv-eins​ | @slowly-drifting-again​ | @weasleyworshipper​ | @ya-lyublu-tebya​

Permanent Bucky Tag List: @livvy-barnes​

Want to be added? Send me an ask ❤

#bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes one shot #marvel fan fic #my fic

[renardtrickster]

I am going to kill you and ask you to do every number on that ask post

You devious yet cute bastard, I’m in.

1. What is you middle name?

Personal information so I’m not divulging it, but it abbreviates to X.

2. How old are you?

Legal.

3. When is your birthday?

September 26.

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Libra/The Scales/The Dragon/Terepy

5. What is your favorite color?

Dark Green. #127712 specifically.

6. What’s your lucky number?

I think 2? I do like 12 though.

7. Do you have any pets?

Not anymore. I used to have two dogs though.

8. Where are you from?

Florida. I came out of the swamps.

9. How tall are you?

5′10″

10. What shoe size are you?

28cm, Women’s 11.5, Men’s 9.5, that’s what my sneakers say.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Two. A pair of loafers so broken down I avoid wearing them whenever possible, and a pair of fine sneakers.

12. What was your last dream about?

All I remember is that Duff McWhalen’s theme song was playing throughout it and it was really annoying after a while.

13. What talents do you have?

I would say my talents are acute memory of obscure topics, vivid storytelling, and I’m pretty good at video games.

14. Are you psychic in any way?

It doesn’t happen with much frequency nowadays, but when I was younger and it happened a bit more often, I could always tell when I was being observed with no other clues. I could feel the eyes on my back. I can also bend spoons and set fires with my mind but that’s less interesting.

15. Favorite song?

More like favorite song right now, but probably Rocket Surgeon.

16. Favorite movie?

The Persona 3 movies currently.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Off of the top of my head, I’m imagining someone who’s heart-throbbing to look at (pretty women or cute boys), pretty sharp, tough to boot, has a lot in common with me, and is understanding too. I’ve got a few quirks, and it’d be nice to know that I’m not condemned to dying alone because of them.

18. Do you want children?

Not in the slightest.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

I don’t even want a wedding wedding. If we’re partners, isn’t being together enough? From what I know, weddings just add unnecessary stress and complication.

20. Are you religious?

I’m definitely spiritual, and Religion connected to that, even if I don’t devote myself to a specific doctrine. It’s less pantheism and more “they’re probably all true to an extent and also SMT is real”. In any case I just try to be a good person.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

As a patient, none that I could remember but I know I went because of various injuries. As a visitor, quite a few times.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

I’ve done things that would get me in trouble with the law, but have not run afoul of them yet. The closest would be that one time I was staying at a hotel, and the police knocked on my door and asked if I knew where someone was living. I didn’t, but I guessed anyway, and that’s how half the hotel had the police knocking on their door.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

No.

24. Baths or showers?

Showers.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

White with grey soles.

26. Have you ever been famous?

I have a lot of followers on this tumblr blog, would that count?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

I want to be a famous author, so kind of. But I want to still retain my anonymity and not have my real name and face attached to stuff. Yoko Taro gives me hope in that regard, because he’s rather famous but any information we know about him, we know on his terms. That’s how I want to live.

28. What type of music do you like?

I usually listen to video game OSTs, and most of the ones I listen to are so genre-blending so it’s hard to pin down. Most of it is instrumental, but I’m not opposed to music with vocals. Genres aren’t cohesive, so I’d say “music that makes you want to punch robots to” and “music that makes you want to talk to friends to”. J-rap is pretty good though.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Hell no!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

One.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I toss and turn before going to sleep and while asleep, but my back seems to be consistent.

32. How big is your house?

It’s pretty decent. 2 room 1 bath, and the living room is rectangular.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Milk & cereal, or pop-tarts.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

No, but I want to.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

I think once in grade school. I wish I could try again though.

36. Favorite clean word?

Cerebral just off the top of my head.

37. Favorite swear word?

Bastard or Shit. The former is innately funny and all-purpose to refer to someone. The latter is so versatile it can be used in any context.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

I think a day, although the standard is around 18.

39. Do you have any scars?

I don’t think so.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

I think there was one person in school who had a thing for me but they were gay and at the time I thought I was straight, so I paid them no mind. There was also someone who said “X likes you”, but I didn’t know who X was so I said “cool” and went on my way. I was also propositioned once in middle school, but that’s less “secret admirer” and more “sexual harasser”.

41. Are you a good liar?

I think so.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

For good people, yes. For bad people, no.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Yeah. I remember playing Undertale and my little sister was nearby, and I decided to voice all the characters. I had a lot of fun!

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I’m actually the only member of my family that doesn’t have a Boston accent.

45. What is your favorite accent?

Russian, hands-down.

46. What is your personality type?

According the the Myers-Briggs test I just took, ISFP-T/Adventurer. Which is bizarre considering I’m pretty sure I got a different result a year or so ago. According to “what word would you use”, droll.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I have no idea. Either those sneakers, or the heavy winter jacket I got when I was in Colorado. Both were gifts, so I never saw the pricetag, but my Dad said they were pretty nice-looking.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yeth.

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Inside.

50. Left or right handed?

Left.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

My knowledge of spiders is well enough that I know at least 2 types of spiders who can kill you horribly in one bite, and know little enough that I can’t tell any of them apart from common house spiders. I’m more afraid of dying stupidly because the boner spider snuck up on me than the idea of spiders themselves.

52. Favorite food?

Either Macaroni & Cheese or Cheeseburgers.

53. Favorite foreign food?

Burritos probably, even though I usually only eat meat and cheese on them. Are you detecting a theme because I am.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

I try to be clean, but I’m usually a bit scattered.

55. Most used phrased?

“says something about”, “despite that” are some. Although I know I tend to use a few stock phrases When I Post Long.

56. Most used word?

I wouldn’t even know where to begin finding that out.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Maybe a few minutes, although I’m usually working on a set routine.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t think I do. If I do, I tend to exaggerate it or turn it to a positive end.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

No matter how hard I want to keep it at sucking, I usually bite at some point. Don’t screencap this.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

No.

62. Are you a good singer?

Also no.

63. Biggest Fear?

Most if not all of my friends, and the people I admire as well, all either start hating me or end up hating me and I lose every social connection I have or want to have. The reason varies, whether it be my fault or someone slandering me, but being hated by people I like freaks me out. As does the idea of not being able to tell my stories.

64. Are you a gossip?

I’d like to say no but considering I rather frequently discuss discourse in my Discord chats, I guess I am.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

I do not watch drama films.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

On myself, long-to-middle length. On others, any length really.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Probably not.

68. Favorite school subject?

Social studies was a strong suit of mine.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Introvert.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No.

71. What makes you nervous?

Time passing and things not getting done.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

No. The things in the dark can eat it too.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Yes, but I try to be kind about it. Or funny.

74. Are you ticklish?

I haven’t been tickled recently, so I wouldn’t know.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

No. At worst, I’ve spread information I don’t think is 100% accurate, but I ALWAYS disclaim that it shouldn’t be trusted without further research.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

I’m an older sibling, so yes.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

No.

78. Have you ever done drugs?

No, but I was offered twice. Once by an irresponsible (and awful) authority figure, once by some kids in the bathroom. Both times I said “no thanks”, and funny enough the former tried to change my mind, and the latter just said “ok cool”.

79. Who was your first real crush?

Oh god here come the bad memories. I’m heavily abbreviating and redacting information to protect the identities of me and all involved, but in Colorado I met someone in middle school who more or less fit all my parameters for “ideal partner”. But I was terminally nervous and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, so I left it at that. Eventually I had to abruptly leave the state for reasons I don’t want to get into, and all a week or so later I made a Facebook account and found all my friends. My contact with my crush was the most constant. Eventually, I was talking with a different buddy, and they mentioned romantic problems. I mentioned I had some too, and they eventually ferreted it out of me. They told me I should confess, and I said no, both because I want to remain friends, and because I can’t do a long-distance relationship. They told me they’d go behind my back if I didn’t, and I warned them not to. Five minutes later, I get messaged by my crush. To put it short, it wouldn’t work out. I stopped talking to both, and was pretty depressed afterwards, to the point where I couldn’t feel any romance, sexuality, or companionship towards anybody. I got over it sometime later, and I think I realized I was bi around the same time. I kind of wish I could smooth things over, but it’s been so long I don’t think it’s an option anymore. Plus Facebook has a horrible interface and is terrible so I really don’t want to.

80. How many piercings do you have?

Zero.

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

No.

82. How fast can you type?

VERY.

83. How fast can you run?

Also VERY.

84. What color is your hair?

Dark.

85. What color is your eyes?

I looked in a mirror for a minute. I think it’s either grey, green, or brown?

86. What are you allergic to?

Pollen and bullets.

87. Do you keep a journal?

No.

88. What do your parents do?

My Dad makes food at the mall.

89. Do you like your age?

I wish I had all the benefits of adulthood but was still 17.

90. What makes you angry?

People acting stupid when they should know better, things not working when they should, and things going wrong when they shouldn’t. While not my intention in answering this question, this site has all three :^)

91. Do you like your own name?

My given name is pretty okay. I really like Renardie though.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I am not having children.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

Three times I have said I’m not having children.

94. What are you strengths?

Imagination, expression, intellect, and pluck.

95. What are your weaknesses?

Procrastination, anxiety, and obsession.

96. How did you get your name?

For my given name, I’ll keep it brief for privacy’s sake, but my parents are comic book nerds. For Renardie, I’m simply a fan of Reynard the Fox.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

My Dad’s a King in the figurative sense, does that count?

98. Do you have any scars?

This is a repeat question. Someone get OP’s ass.

99. Color of your bedspread?

Off-color baby blue.

100. Color of your room?

White.

#renardie taking questions #oh no renardie is posting

[padfootdidit]

reason in madness

JILY CHALLENGE | @padfootdidit vs @wotcherpotter             tv show aus (may) + “ok yes we're all juvenile delinquents but it's mE thats trying to help us survive while yOU just seem to be sabotaging everything...dont give me those eyes like you've done nothing wrong, you're literally holding an automatic weapon???"

This is late and a step away from the prompt a little bit (and a leap away from the actual show) but it’s here and I think that’s what counts.

au: the 100 | word count: 2.4k | ao3: read here

Day 1

The Ark was order. There was nothing out of place, no rule not written, everyone accounted for.

The Ground is chaos. Lily feels it, they all feel it, as soon the Dropship doors open. Light streams in, bright, natural, real light. Light none of them have seen before. She squints, lifting her hand up to shield her eyes and then all she can see is green.

Day 2

No one knew what to expect. But it wasn’t this.

A spear appears out of the trees and Bertram Aubrey almost dies. They aren’t alone. The Ark hadn’t told them to prepare for that. No one had planned for others having survived. The Ground is meant to be a deserted, a ghost town.

“Ghosts don’t have accuracy like that,” Remus Lupin says when Lily says this aloud. He saves Bertram Aubrey’s life. On the Ark he was an apprentice medic and somehow he manages to do just enough that by sunset they’re still at one hundred delinquents.

Day 3

James Potter from Alpha Station stands on the Dropship gangplank and tells them he has a plan to save their lives. James Potter who grew up on Alpha Station and has never wanted for a thing tells them he knows what to do. Lily scoffs at the idea.

“Is there a problem Evans?” He asks, jumping down and stalking over towards her. As if he thinks she’ll back down. Of course she has a problem. What does he know about survival? She’s the one who lived against all odds. Survived beneath the floor, silent, hiding, obeying. She’s the one who knows how to beat death.

She’s just about to tell him as much when Sev appears. Of all people, Sev. He’s not meant to be here. He can’t be here. But he is and, before Lily knows what’s happening, Sev is defending her. Well, he’s punching Potter and she assumes that, in his eyes, that’s defending her.

There’s a brawl. She can’t do anything to stop it. Doesn’t even know if she cares anymore that Sev is on the floor, blood streaming from his nose. He sold her out. He killed her mother. He shouldn’t be here.

Day 4

They sit on opposite ends of the floor of the Dropship which Remus has claimed as an infirmary and Lily ignores Potter as she tells Sev that she doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. That he shouldn’t have come, that she doesn’t need him.

He tells her that she does, that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Potter watches them with a smirk, she can feel it. She doesn’t get to tell him to shut up though because a scouting party returns and they have guns. Lots and lots of guns.

Day 5

Potter is back on his feet and even more ignorant than ever. He stands on the Dropship’s gangplank, pistol tucked into his waistband and automatic slung over his back and tells them they’re going to head for Mount Weather. It’s their only hope, apparently. Lily scoffs at this too.

“Got any better ideas?”

“One, start hunting, two, learn how to fire a gun, three, stay where we know is safe, four, get a better leader, five –“

“You think I’m the leader?”

“You’re acting like you are so-“

“That’s very kind of you Evans, I feel honoured that you would –“

“Finish your sentence, I dare you,” she says and aims her own gun at his chest. She has no idea how to fire it but Potter doesn’t know that. She smirks as he raises his hands in surrender.

Day 6

Lily shakes her head as Potter leads a group of delinquent volunteers into the forest, heading towards Mount Weather. According to his map there’s a signal tower a day’s walk away which will help them find Mount Weather, and allow them to contact the Ark.

It’s a stupid idea, venturing out into territory they know from experience is dangerous. Sev thinks so too and he tries to tell her.

“Who does he think he is, right? Marching –‘

“Who do you think you are Sev? Judge, jury, executioner? You’re definitely a murderer.”

“Lily, I didn’t –“ he trails off as she walks away. She’s not listening to this. Doesn’t need to listen to this anymore. Just needs to survive and she doesn’t need anyone’s help to do that.

Day 7

They have a perimeter fence now and food and another of the scouting parties found a freshwater pond which doesn’t seem to be contaminated. Lily goes with Remus to check it out and he tells her that Potter is just trying to help.

“Help get us all killed you mean.”

Day 8

Black runs into the clearing first. He’s yelling for Remus. Lily leaps up from where she’s trying to skin a rabbit and can do nothing but stare as Potter limps into view, supporting a bleeding girl. Behind him three other delinquents each carry their own load. Not all of them are moving.

“We… ambush.” Is all Potter says as he gently lowers the girl to the floor in front of Remus.

“They’re fucking animals,” Black spits and swats Remus away from the gash on his neck. “Her first.”

Day 9

They’re down to ninety seven.

No one wants to leave their perimeter anymore. Not even to hunt. Lily volunteers, only because she wants to get away from the three graves that now rest behind the Dropship.

“I’ll go too,” Potter says and she wonders if it’s out of guilt for the graves or a desperation to annoy her.

“No thanks,” and she leaves before he can even get up to follow.

Day 10

A spear flies into camp and Bertram Aubrey’s second chance at life is cut short.

Day 11

“What if we just –“ a spear flies into camp and the boy from Farm Station doesn’t get to finish his suggestion.

Day 20

They’re being picked off one by one.

They’re down to eighty six.

Day 21

“We need to fight back,” Potter says, “or we’ll starve before they kill us all.”

“All they have is spears, it’ll be a piece of cake,” Black says. Lily has never had a piece of cake. She doesn’t care about how easy it will be. She cares about what it will cost them if they kill the only other people who survived the end of the world.

“Or we could talk to them.”

Day 22

She walks out of camp with a shredded white top wrapped around a stick and hopes they know what it means. She walks out of camp without any weapons and hopes she doesn’t die.

“Stop!” A voice, muffled, calls from above her and she stops. Looks up. Refuses to let herself be scared when a figure, followed by eight more, drop from the trees. She can’t see their faces. They’re all shrouded in thick animal fur and mud.

“We don’t want to –“

“Stop!” The first figure to jump holds their hand up. Before Lily can speak again two others have grabbed her arms and pinned them behind her back.

“Hey!” Oh my fuck, he wants to die.

Day 23

They don’t kill Potter and Lily can’t decide if she’s happy about this or not. They could have at least had the curtesy to put them in separate cells. But no, here she is, on The Ground, prisoner and stuck in close proximity with the Prince of the Ark.

“You know, if you stopped working against me, we could actually do something good.” He suggests, staring at her intently.

“You’ve done nothing but try to kill us since we landed your highness,” she shuffles around so she doesn’t have to face his gaze, “why would I stop working against you.”

“Contrary to popular opinion, I’m actually trying to keep us alive. If you would just stop sabotaging every-“

“Me? Sabotage?” She shuffles back around. Wonders if their guard would mind if she killed him. “What about yesterday? What about following me out when the agreed upon plan was for me to go alone? That wasn’t sabotage?”

“That was –“ their guard bangs on the door and they shut up. Potter still stares though. Somehow, it’s louder than his voice.

Day 24

The Grounders agree to a treaty. Well, an arrangement. Well, something.

They agree not to kill any more of their people, if the delinquents promise that they will stay on their side of the forest and not cause any damage. It’s an easy promise to make in exchange for their lives.

Day 25

Sev runs to greet her when they return and Lily is surprised when Potter steps in front of her. She’s not really upset about it but she also doesn’t appreciate it either. She can handle herself. Resents any implication otherwise.

“Move, Potter, I –“

“Need to get the fuck away from, Evans, just like she’s already told you a hundred times.”

“Potter,” she lays a hand on his arm, glares, then turns to Sev. “You really do need to stay the fuck away from me.”

Day 30

They meet with the Grounders again, this time sans the binds and threats of death. The Grounders tell them that Mount Weather is a myth and attempting to reach it would be an unnecessary risk to everyone’s life.

Potter still wants to go.

Day 31

“My parents told me about it, okay, and they aren’t the sort of people who would put our lives at risk, so –“

“They sent you down here.”

“Evans, you have no idea what happened –“

“No, but I know what’s going to happen if we try and find Mount Weather.”

“So you’re a seer now as well as a pain in the arse?”

Day 32

A vote is taken and somehow Potter wins.

Day 33

They start the trek to Mount Weather before the sun has risen and leave the Dropship behind. They’ve taken all their supplies, which were starting to run out anyway, and left the perimeter gate open. Lily finds herself leading the group alongside Potter and she’s not sure how it happened but they’ve become sort of a team. At least, all the other delinquents treat them like that. They don’t actually act like a team. No team has ever disagreed as much as them.

Still, the other delinquents listen to them and look to them and only Black doesn’t take orders from them.

Lily isn’t sure if she minds. They’re still alive. He’s not all that bad. Not every idea out of his mouth is a death wish, even if some of them sound like it. He’s not even that entitled which is just annoying because it makes him endearing and Lily doesn’t want him to be endearing.

When they stop for the night, he takes a seat next to her around the fire and offers her his unfinished rations.

“What’s this?”

“Peace offering.”

“What if I don’t want –“

“Just take the damn food, Evans.”

She takes the damn food and they sit side by side in silence as the rest of the delinquents chatter and eat and sleep. She eats the damn food and considers that maybe she could stop sabotaging the majority of his plans. She finishes the damn food and thinks maybe, just maybe, they might actually be able to make it work.

They might actually be able to survive. Together.

#jilychallenge #wotcherpotter #jily #au jily #actual trash but so's the show so #lol im trash for the show i can't talk #rhiannonwritesdrabbles

[brazillianhoney]

200 questions to get to know somebody

1. Who  was the last person you held hands with?

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

4. Are you easy to get along with?

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

6. Black or Hispanic girls?

7. Piercings?

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

15. What good thing needs to happen to you?

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

19. Do you like bubble baths?

20. Do you like your neighbors?

21. What are your bad habits?

22. Where would you like to travel?

23. Do you have trust issues?

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

26. What do you do when you wake up?

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

30. Do you ever want to get married?

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

33. What is your middle name? And / or favorite nicknames?

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

37. How many relationships have you been in?

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

40. What do you want to do after high school?

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?

43. Do you smile at strangers?

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

45. Piercings? Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

46. What are you paranoid about?

47. Have you ever been high & do you like smoking?

48. Have you ever been drunk & do u like drinking?

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

50. What was the color of the last hoodie you wore?

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

53. Hickies or love bites?

54. Favorite position?

55. Water park or amusement park?

56. Favorite color?

57. Favorite food?

58. Last thing you ate?

59. First thing you ate this morning?

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

62. Been arrested? For what?

63. Ever been in love?

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

65. Are you hungry right now?

66. Ever gone skinny dipping?

67. Facebook or Twitter?

68. Favorite movie genre?

69. Are you watching TV right now?

70. Names of your best friends?

71. Shoe size?

72. What color are your towels?

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

75. Favorite animal?

76. What color is your underwear?

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

78. Favorite ice cream flavor?

79. What color shirt are you wearing?

80. Longest relationship?

81. Favorite TV show?

82. Favorite movie?

83. Walking Dead or American Horror Story?

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

85. Favorite character from Harry Potter?

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo?

87. First person you talked to today?

88. Last person you talked to today?

89. Name a person you hate?

80. Name a person you love?

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

92. How many fights with someone?

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

95. Last movie you watched?

96. Favorite actress?

97. Favorite actor?

98. Do you tan or burn?

99. Have any pets?

100. How are you feeling?

101. Do you type fast?

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

103. Can you spell well?

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

108. What should you be doing?

109. Is something irritating you right now?

110. Ever been heartbroken?

111. Do you have trust issues?

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

113. What was your childhood nickname?

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

115. Do you play the Wii or play station, Xbox

116. Are you listening to music right now?

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

118. Do you like Chinese food?

119. Favorite book?

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

121. Are you mean?

122. Which is worse? Your partner cheating on you a bunch of times with random niggas, or a bunch of times with the same nigga?

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

125. Do you believe in true love?

126. Are you currently bored?

127. What makes you happy?

128. Would you change your name?

129. What your zodiac sign?

130. Do you like subway?

131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

132. Crushing right now?

133. Favorite lyrics right now?

134. Can you count to one million?

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

137. How tall are you?

138. Curly or Straight hair?

139. Brunette or Blonde?

140. Summer or winter?

141. Night or Day?

142. Favorite month?

143. Favorite kind of protein?

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

145. Tea or Coffee?

146. Was today a good day?  

147. Twix or Snickers?

148. What’s your favorite quote?

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

151. What’s the last thing you made in the kitchen?

152. Candy or chocolate

153. Iced tea or warm tea?

154. Iced coffee or warm coffee

155. Ever been out of the country?

156. Spicy food?

157. Blue or green eyes

158. Back dimples or regular dimples

159. Asian or Hispanic girls

160. Black or white

161.  Ass or boobs

162. Thigh gap or thick thighs?

163. Light skin, brown skin, darkskin?

164. How much money in your wallet right now?

165. Your best friend of the same sex develops a crush on you, what do u do?

166. What is your definition of bad?

167. Have u ever taken the subway?

168. Birthday?

169. Have u ever bullied someone?

170. If u were ever to be arrested for something what would it be?

171. Italian or Latino food

172. Caribbean food or American food?

173. Sporty girl or girly girl?

174. If u got a girl pregnant would u marry her?

175. If your pregnant gf wanted to give her baby up for adoption would u let her?

176. What position do u sleep in?

177. Are you against abortions?

178. Are you against same sex marriage?

179. Do u want to own a gun?

180. Future tats?

181. Do you get mad easily?

182. What gets u mad?

184. Turn ons?

185. Secret?

186. Biggest fear?

187. Potty mouth?

188. Religion?

189. Future place to live?

190. Dream car?

191. Number of kids? Kid names?

192. Dream jobs?

193. Are you ticklish?

194. Virgin?

195. Smoothies, milkshakes, juices, or slushies?

196. Closer to your mom or dad?

197. If you had to marry the last person you kissed would you be okay?

198. Do you speak other languages?

199. What’s the date?

200. Did u answer all of these honestly?

[wayward-marvel-sommer1196]

A Halloween To Never Forget

Pairing: Dean x Daughter!Reader ; Sam x Niece!Reader

Warnings: SPN cannon violence, language, mentions cheating husbands, revenge, dead children, death, ANGST

Word count: 2765

A/N: This was written for Katie’s ( @winchesters-favorite-girl ) 31 Days of Halloween Challenge. The theme I picked was witches for day 21. I was originally going to write this as a fluff piece, but decided to change it to ANGST to get back at Katie for the ending of Make a Choice Dean (Check it out if you haven’t)

Summary: It’s Halloween and in your family’s line of work it’s never a good night. This year your dad and your uncle catch a case that turns out to be a witch and reluctantly brought you along. However, Sam has a past with this woman. What happens when she sets out for revenge?

Halloween, the holiday all children love to celebrate. The costumes, the candy, and the tricks make it a night of fun and games. Unless, you are the child of a Winchester. You are Dean’s 12-year-old daughter and because of that you know all the dangers the lurk around in the night, especially on Halloween night.

You couldn’t complain though. You loved being a hunter, well somewhat of a hunter, when your dad would let you. You were a major Daddy’s girl. You were always at his side and was like his mini me. You wore flannels, dresses making you uncomfortable, loved pie, especially cherry, liked cars, Baby being the best, and sarcasm was your second language. Everything Dean loved you loved. And Dean loved everything about you. Well, except your interest in hunting.

He didn’t like to bring you on hunts, but hated you being alone even more. So, when he couldn’t find someone to stay with you this time he had no choice, but to bring you with him.

This hunt was a couple states over from the bunker and people were dying mysteriously. They appeared to be murdered but without a murderer. It was just up y’all’s alley. All the victims were men and all died bloody. Your dad and uncle went to the latest crime scene to question the widow while you stayed in the car.

Turned out the husband was a cheater and the guys found a hex bag under the husband’s side of the bed. Looked like you were hunting a witch. They went to talk to the two other widows and found out their husbands were cheaters as well. This witch had a vendetta against cheaters, so that ruled out the wives as the killers. Y’all headed back to the motel to do some research.

“Hey, maybe they all had the same mistress and she is the witch,” you suggested to your family.

“That’s actually not a bad theory,” Sam said.

“How did I get so lucky to have such a smart kid?” Dean said.

“Because I got lucky and got a smart dad,” you responded with a smile.

“Ok before this turns into a chick flick moment let’s get back to the case,” Dean said as he gave you a side hug.

You were doing your research trying to find any common places all three men hit coming up empty so far. You were getting frustrated and slammed your laptop lid down and got up to get some coffee.

“Woah sweetheart, don’t you think it’s a little late to be drinking coffee?” Dean asked.

“You have your beer and I have my coffee, unless you want to share?” you said.

“No, not till you’re at least 21,” Dean responded.

“That’s what I thought,” you said with a smirk as you sipped your coffee.

Right then your dad’s phone rang and he picked it up. He got that serious look on his face that he always got when something bad happened. It was another murder, but something seemed off this time. Of course, he wouldn’t tell instead he just grabbed his jacket, kissed your head, and walked out the door with Sam on his trail.

When Sam and Dean got there, they saw the two bodies in the living room. One was no surprise. It was the body of the cheating husband, however, the second body they were not expecting. It was the 10-year-old daughter. Dean couldn’t help but look at her. He couldn’t help but draw parallels to you. She looked just like you with long (y/h/c) hair, green eyes, and just the way you looked.

“Sammy, you got this? I – I need some air,” Dean said.

“Yeah man, you okay?” Sam asked.

“No, she looks just like Y/N, Sammy. I can’t be in here.”

“I get it. Go ahead, I got this,” Sam said with a nod of his head and began questioning the wife. However, as Dean walked out the door Sam couldn’t shake the feeling that this case just seemed all too familiar.

~

You were sitting in the motel doing more research, thinking you found a link between all the victims when you heard movement outside your door. You got off the bed and grabbed the gun your dad always left you in case of emergencies. You ran and hid in the bathroom.

After as moment you heard the door being broke down. You patted your pockets searching for your phone, realizing you left it on the side table. You heard the intruder calling out for you. When you heard her near the door you kicked it open and pointed your gun at her. She kicked the gun out of your hands and across the room. You kicked her in the stomach and as she hunched over you punched her in the face, smiling, thinking how proud your dad would be.

She started chanting something in Latin and before you could hit her again blood began to run out of your nose, and a blinding pain ran through your head. Before you passed out your last thought was ‘Damn witches’.

You felt a pounding in your head as you began to wake up. Your wrists and ankles were tied to a chair and you were sitting in the middle of an abandoned warehouse. Before you could call out for anyone the lady who abducted you started approaching you.

“Why are you doing this?” you asked.

“You, my dear, can thank your Uncle Sam for this,” she said.

You look at her confused for a second. Why would she take you to get back at Sammy? Dean for sure, but Sammy? You decided to shake that out of your head for the time being. “You know, when my dad and uncle find me, they are going to kill you.”

She laughed in your face and then drew her hand back and punched you in the face.

~

Sam finished questioning the new widow and gave her his condolences. He walked out the door to see Dean pacing in front of Baby.

“Dude, you’re gonna wear a hole in the concrete if you keep pacing like that,” Sam said.

“Sammy, something’s wrong. I’ve tried to call Y/N three times and she hasn’t answered. I have a really bad feeling. She always answers on the first call,” Dean responded.

“Okay, let me try,” Sam said as he pulled out his phone dialing your number still trying to figure out why this case was so familiar and what it has to do with you.  

~

Your phone began to ring. The bitch must have taken it off the table when she took you. She ignored it. You shook your head knowing that it was your dad calling. He called a couple more times and she continued to ignore them. You knew she wanted them here and ignoring his calls was going to do just that.

Your phone rang for a fourth time, but this time it was your Uncle Sammy’s ringtone. The woman got a big smile on her face and picked up your phone answering it.

“Hello, Sammy,” she said.

“Where is my daughter, you bitch!” Dean shouts.

“Dean put Sam back on, please,” your capture demanded.

“Not until you tell me where my daughter is,” your dad said.

“Put Sam back on the phone or you will never see your little girl ever again,” she hissed.

“What do you want?” Sam asked.

“158 Lipton Dr. Come if you ever want to see your niece alive again,” she said as she hung up the phone.

~

“Son of a Bitch!” Dean screamed. “What the hell does this woman want with you Sam?” Dean questioned.

“I don’t know. Don’t you think if I did I would tell you? I know she’s your daughter, but she is also my niece and I love her too. So, if I had any information I would have said so already,” Sam said.

“Let’s just go,” Dean said as they both ran to Baby and speed off to the address.

When they arrived the guys rug=shed into the warehouse and saw you tied to a chair with your face all bloody.

“Y/N,” your dad called out causing you to lift your head.

Before they could reach you, the witch stepped out from behind a wall and waved her hand causing your dad and uncle to be thrown against a wall and held there.

“Why are you doing this, lady?” Dean said.

“This has nothing to do with you Dean-o, but why don’t you ask Sammy why you are here? You do remember me, don’t you Sammy?” the witch said.

Before he could deny knowing her, the memories started to come flooding back and his eyes widened.

“Sarah,” he whispered.

“Ah, he remembers,” she stated.

“Sarah, look what happened that night, you have to believe me when I say that wasn’t really me. There were certain circumstances going on that you don’t know about,” Sam pleaded.

“Oh, Sammy I know. You didn’t have a soul, right? I’ve done my research and acquired some new techniques,” she said.

“Then you know I wasn’t in the right state of mind when I did those things. Those horrible things and I can’t apologize enough. I’m so sorry, and I know that doesn’t mean much but please don’t do this,” Sam begged.

“What’s going on here? Sammy what did you do?” Dean asked.

“Yeah Sammy, why don’t you tell Dean exactly what you did to ruin my life,” Sarah said.

“When I was soulless and working with the Campbell’s we worked this case that was a lot like the one we were working here. It was a witch that was seducing men and killing the one’s that took the bait and cheated on their wives. Sarah’s husband was next on the witches list so I raced over to her house. When I got there the witch had already killed her husband,” Sam explained.

“Are you paying attention Dean? You’re not gonna want to miss what happened next. It will explain a lot,” Sarah said. “How about you Y/N? Are you listening?”

You groaned in response. Dean looked at you with sad eyes wanting nothing more than to grab you and hold you close and tell you everything was going to be okay.

“Continue on, Sammy,” Sarah said.

“Well, when I went to confront the witch she was still in the house. She got defensive like most monsters do and grabbed Sarah’s 11-year-old daughter as a hostage.

“Emily. Her name was Emily,” Sarah yelled.

“Right, Emily. The witch grabbed Emily thinking I would hesitate and let her go. But since I didn’t have a soul I didn’t think twice. I – I shot her,” Sam said with a shaky voice.

“Who? The witch or Emily?” Dean asked.

“Both,” Sam said avoiding everyone’s gaze. “I didn’t have a clear shot of just the witch so I shot her through Emily. I – I didn’t even think twice. I – I’m so sorry Sarah, so so sorry,” Sam said as the tears started to fall and Dean just looked at his brother in shock.

“Sorry doesn’t bring her back. Nothing can bring her back. Revenge is the only way I can avenge her. She was innocent and you killed her anyway. Since you don’t have any children,” she said as she approached you. “I took the next closest thing, your niece,” she said as she ran a finger down your face.

“Look, Sarah, what my brother did was horrible. I can’t imagine your pain, but please don’t do this. Y/N is innocent, she’s only 12 years old. She doesn’t deserve this. Please let my baby girl go,” Dean pleaded with her.

“Emily was innocent too. She didn’t deserve it either. But your brother didn’t care, so now neither do I.”

“SARAH, WAIT! Stop! Please don’t hurt her. Kill me instead. I’m the one who took Emily from you, kill me and end this once and for all. Let my niece and brother go. You can have me,” Sam pleaded.

“As nice of an offer as that is, no deal. I need you to suffer just like I did and if I kill you then you won’t suffer. You’ll get off easy,” she said as she smiled and turned towards you.

She grabbed the blade from the table closest to you and placed it on your skin.

“Daddy! Help!” you cried out knowing he couldn’t really help you, but not knowing what else to do.

“Please, stop. Please, don’t do this,” Dean begged.

“Sorry. My mind is already made up,” she said.

“You bitch,” your dad shouted.

Sarah pressed the blade a little harder into your skin and you screeched.

“Y/N, baby girl look at me,” Dean said with tears running down his face. You complied. “Hey, there are those beautiful green eyes. Just keep them on me okay. I need you to be strong like I know you are.”

“Daddy, I’m scared,” you cried.

“I know sweetheart, I know. So am I. Please Sarah, don’t do this. I’m begging you. Parent to parent. Don’t take my baby girl away from me. She is my whole world and I don’t know what I would do without her,” Dean said.

“I’m sorry I have to do this, but Emily was my world and no she’s gone and I have nothing,” she said as she took the knife and stabbed you twice in the stomach causing you to let out a blood curdling scream.

“NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!” Dean screamed.

Sam was able to get loose with Sarah being distracted and grabbed his gun he dropped when Sarah threw him to the wall. He took the gun and shot and killed Sarah. Dean was now free from the spell as well and they both ran to you. Dean untied your wrists and ankles and cradled you in his arms while also keeping pressure on your wounds.

“Hey baby girl, look at me. I need you to keep those eyes open okay,” Dean said barely keeping it together. “We are going to get you to a hospital and get you all fixed up, okay? You’re going to be okay. Then we will take the vacation you wanted and go to Disney, I promise. I just need you to hold on.”

“Dean, I think – “Sam tried to say.

“D-Daddy,” you mumbled.

“Yes, baby girl, I’m right here,” Dean said.

“I-I love you,” you said.

“I love you too, baby girl to the moon and back,” Dean said.

“S-Sam-my?”

“Hey bug, I’m so sorry about this. I’m so sorry,” Sam responded.

“S’kay. Don’t bl-blame you. L-Love you.”

“I love you too, bug always and forever.”

“D-Daddy, don’t blame S-Sammy. I will m-miss you,” you said as your eyes fluttered shut.

“No, Y/N. Open your eyes. Come on baby girl, you can’t leave me, not like this.”

“Dean she’s gone,” Sam said as he began to sob.

~

Your father set you in the pyre as he let the tears fall freely. Your uncle spread the salt and gasoline and both stood back. Your father grabbed the matches from his pocket and lit the pyre up. Both guys stood and watched the fire burn with tears in their eyes.

“I am so sorry, baby girl. I was supposed to protect you and I failed. I couldn’t keep you safe and now you’re gone. I’m so sorry. I love you to the moon and back,” Dean said as he looked up to the sky sniffling.

“I’m sorry, bug. I’m so- “Sam said but was interrupted.

“Stop! Just stop,” Dean yelled as he looked over to his brother with a look of pain and anger. “This-This is your fault. All your fault. My daughter is dead because of you. I will never forgive you for this. Never.”

Sam nodded his head and turned to walk away. “I know and I’ll never forgive myself either,” Sam mumbled more to himself than anyone else.

~

You looked at your father and shook your head with disappointment. He was not only blaming Sammy for your death but also himself. You wanted nothing more than to give your dad one last hug, but looking at things now you knew you couldn’t.

“I know I said I’d come with you, but circumstances have changed. I can’t leave them, not like this,” you said.

“You do realize if you stay, you will become an angry spirit. This is your only chance to s=come with me,” your reaper said.

“I know, but this is a risk I am willing to take. They are my family.”

Tag List: 

Everything SPN

@jensen-jarpad

@sisterwinchesterwriter

@samslostshoe-deansbaby

@lenaabs

@a-fan-fighting-for-equality

@mogaruke

@internationalmusicteacher

@mashed-fandom-imagines

@maddybeck01

@jensenjefferyjarednormanmisha

@deangirl-samcurious-0124-0502

@sandlee44

@percussiongirl2017

@myheroessamanddean

 @grace-for-sale

Dean/Jensen

@akshi8278

#katie's 31 days of halloween #katie's halloween challenge #winchester!daughter #dean x daughter!reader #sam x niece!reader

[chaos-and-recover]

ALL OF THE ASKS 🖤

EVERY TIME.

Alright let’s do this.

1: Favorite band?

AFI and/or July Talk

2: Favorite song?

Of all time? I think I realized recently that it is in fact Falling Slowly. The fact that I have like 7 different versions in my music library was a solid clue that I fucking love it.

3: What’s a band/artist you loved as a child but can barely listen to now?

My brother and I loved Kris Kross when we were little. That’s some cheeseball rap right there. Also when I was 12 I was super into Prodigy. But then, Firestarter is still a good fucking song.

4: Did you ever see a band/artist live?

Yes? A lot? Many times?

5: Are you going to any gigs soon?

I was supposed to go to Chicago next weekend to see my boys the Plain White T’s but they cancelled the show and I’m bummed.

I’m seeing Jimmy Eat World on December 5th and I’m stoked about it.

I’m also seeing July Talk three nights in a row on the 20th, 21st and 22nd because I have no self control and I love them.

6: Ever been to a festival?

Yes, several. I used to love them and now I’m too old for that shit and there’s too many of them and the bands are spread too thin and no one festival has enough bands I like to justify it lol.

8: A song with a number in the title?

Green Day - 21 Guns

9: A song that gets you through shit?

AFI - Narrative of Soul Against Soul

10: A good song for long bus rides?

Anberlin - Autobahn

11: A song you’d have sex to?

Take That - Pretty Things (I mean it’s kinda weird but uh I’m into it)

12: A song to shut everything out?

36 Crazyfists - Slit Wrist Theory (like 90% sure this song almost got me sent to therapy given how many times my 17 year old self blasted it)

13: A song for when you’re lonely?

The entire “Cities” album by Anberlin is my security blanket. I’ll saw The Unwinding Cable Car though.

14: A song that’s become a joke between you and your friends?

Jack’s Mannequin - Dark Blue ( @sinceubeenjon knows why)

15: A song to jam out to at 4AM?

The Used - The Taste Of Ink. Because it literally references 4:00 in the morning lol

16: An album you could listen to for days on end?

I’m pretty sure I did listen to Decemberunderground by AFI for days on end in 2006. And like… constantly ever since.

17: A song that punches you in the gut every single time?

Anberlin - Atonement. Fuuuuuuuck me :) 

18: A song for when you’re crazy angry?

I wanna saw Slit Wrist Theory again but I’m also trying not to repeat songs so uhhhh The Used - Box Full Of Sharp Objects. I have a lot of angst apparently.

19: If you had to pick one song to represent what you’re feeling right now, what would it be?

It’s not actually Christmas but it is a holiday in the US and I have a cold so “It’s Christmas And I’m Sick” by MxPx. Honestly, I have nothing else. I have no feelings right now lol.

20: A song that calms you down?

The Used - Bllue & Yellow

21: A song that makes you feel alive?

Anberlin - Dismantle.Repair

22: A band with an insane fandom?

Are Twenty One Pilots fans still bonkers? That’s one. Or a certain segment of 1D fandom. You know the one (the Larries. Jesus christ people.)

23: What are some lyrics you love to pieces?

There are so many. Here are some of my favourites:

“It’s not about the money we makeIt’s about the passions that we ache forWhat makes your heart beat fasterTell me now what does your body long after?”-Time & Confusion by Anberlin

“And as the days go onThe love, the lust, the buzz that wasReduced to dust, could be becauseIt never was something moreThan just a void filling feeling”-FL,GA by The Rocket Summer

“I saw you every time I closed my eyesIn the Hughes film I had scored, produced and starred in in my mindI could recite you, well I’d written every lineBut you strayed far from the flawless script on which I’d spent a lifetime”-Veronica Sawyer Smokes by AFI

“I tried, but it rang and rang, I called all nightFrom a payphone, remember those? From another lifeIf everything I meant to youYou can’t lick and seal then fold in twoThen I’ve been so blind.”-Dizzy by Jimmy Eat World

“Let it out, let me in, take a hold of my handThere’s nothing like another soul that’s been cut up the sameAnd did you wanna drive without a word in between?I can understand, you need a minute to breatheAnd to sew up the seams after all this defeat.”-Handwritten by The Gaslight Anthem

I’m gonna stop there.

24: Would you ever get any song lyrics tattooed? If so which ones?

I have some! I have “Just point to the light that casts out the dark” from White Fireworks by The Rocket Summer in Bryce Avary’s handwriting and I’m pretty damn pleased with it. I’d probably get more. He also wrote “Be reckless, be bright” for me from The Rescuing Type that I wanna get done. 

25: What’s a band/artist you’d addict your children to from an early age?

Kids? Gross. I’m gonna try to get my niece into some good shit. When is an appropriate age to get her into AFI?

26: A vocalist you love?

I’m perfectly neutral and rational about Davey Havok, tbh, I’ve never been extra about him a day in my life.

I also love me some Adam Lambert and have very strong opinions about him fronting Queen (they are all variations of “he’s great at it fight me.)

27: Has a band/artist ever inspired you to do something?

Yes, usually dumb shit, like travel across a country/continent/ocean to see them.

28: A band/artist you love but no longer exists?

MOTHERFUCKING ANBERLIN.

29: What was your favorite band/artist when you were 12?

The Backstreet Boys, lol.

30: A band/artist you can’t stand?

Twenty One goddamn Pilots. Also ask me how I feel about Metric some time. (I FUCKIN HATE METRIC.)

31: What’s your favorite genre?

I honestly don’t have one. The music I like is all over the goddamn map.

32: Can you play any instruments?

I played percussion for 6 years in school and was self-taught on bass, though I haven’t pulled mine out in literal years. (One day I’m gonna get it out again and learn Pink Eyes by AFI. It’s gonna happen.)

33: Do you sing?

Hahahahahahhahahaa not so anyone can hear me.

34: If you could be a member of any band for one show, who would it be?

I would Jordan Pundik from New Found Glory because I still maintain that he only has to sing like half of every song and the crowd does the rest.

35: Do you have a favorite piece of merch?

My current favourite merch item in the world is my 36 Crazyfists hoodie. It’s so soft, so warm, so comfy. My Anberlin carabiner has served me very well over the years too.

36: What’s the first album you ever bought with your own money?

I always tell people it was the first BSB album but it was actually a Raptors promo CD released ahead of their first season in the NBA. BSB just sounds more like it’s a real thing that existed.

37: Do you prefer buying physical copies of albums or do you download them on the internet?

Physical. Digital versions just… I don’t connect with them as well? I don’t know, I don’t feel like I really own them if I can’t touch ‘em.

38: CDs or vinyls?

Vinyl. Also, not to be a pedant, but the plural of vinyl is vinyl.

39: Do you play your music out loud or with headphones?

Headphones. Used to be out loud all the time back in the days of desktop computers when I’d be alone in a room on the computer and could do that without annoying everyone lol.

40: A band/artist a friend showed you?

I guess I can blame Raven for how much I love Eric Church, does that count?

41: A song that gives you the chills?

Anberlin - The Unwinding Cable Car, but like, a very specific recording of it. This one, in fact, starting at 3:08 when Stephen is singing the bridge and the crowd comes in with “this is the correlation between salvation and love” part completely unprompted and it builds up until he’s holding “heart” and we’re holding “dark” and it’s fucking magical and you know what’s not captured on the audio recording? The look on Christian’s goddamn face when that happened. That was a hell of a show.

42: A song to play at your funeral?

I mean, you could go ahead and play that version of Cable Car linked in the last answer because it’s probably what killed me anyway, but if you wanna be more cliche just bust out Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World.

43: A band/artist with amazing an instrumental but really bad lyrics?

I listened to BedLIGHT for BlueEYES for the first time in a few years the other day so um. Them. The lyrics have not held up super well but my GOD they’re catchy. (Although “But I guess I shouldn’t hat you you, in fact I oughtta thank you for helping me write this song / If this album tops the Billboard I think I’ll save the quarter to call you and let you know” from Too Late still fucking kills though.)

44: A love song?

Any love song? 200,000 by my sweet baby boy The Rocket Summer, it’s the cutest fucking song in the world.

45: A song you love to sing to yourself?

I don’t sing to myself, that’s embarrassing (it’s probably like, Raise Your Glass by Pink or something, though)

46: What do you listen to when you go for a run?

When I did run more often it was to movie soundtracks. 127 Hours had some really good running tunes. Also there’s a song on the Inception soundtrack that was perfect for a good sprint.

47: A song that represents a deserted city at night?

The Taste of Ink by The Used kinda gives me that feeling, I guess.

48: A wild song?

Wild? How about Wild by AFI, is that good enough lol.

49: An upbeat song with grim lyrics?

Motion City Soundtrack - Everything Is Alright.

50: What are some song titles you love?

Okay so I can’t really think of any but it took me until entirely too recently to realize that “Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off” and “But It’s Better If You Do” by Panic! At The Disco fucking… they go together. They’re supposed to be read together. Years that took me. That album was my second most-played in iTunes and I didn’t… figure that out. I’m dumb as hell.

51: If your life ended today, what song would you chose to represent it?

One song, to represent my entire life? Hell if I know. Probably like, Tonight by NKOTB though, let’s be honest.

52: Can you give me a 5 song playlist on ___?

ON WHAT I NEED A TOPIC.

53: Do you listen to instrumental music?

Sometimes, sure.

54: Weirdest band/artist you know of?

Foxy Shazam were weird as hell. We put their album on at work years ago because the sticker… I can’t remember what the sticker compared them to now but it was a mix of bands that made us say “that can’t POSSIBLY be right” and then it was? (one of them was Queen, I remember that). They were fucking weirdos and I miss them TERRIBLY.

55: A song about drugs? 

You know who I haven’t mentioned in this yet? Lucky Boys Confusion. They have a lot of songs about drugs. 40/80 comes to mind. What a jam. What a band.

56: A heart-wrenching song?

This might seem like an odd choice but 11.24.11 by 36 Crazyfists. It goes hard as hell but then “don’t plan to live forever but I wanted her to,” and it’s about his mother, it just fucking wrecks me.

57: A band/artist you’re proud of?

July Talk. They deserve to be bigger but they’re doing so well and I’m so proud of them and if they were any bigger I would absolutely be insufferable about it.

58: A band/artist who’s music could bring you back from the dead?

If I had been dead for like five years but you told me Lucky Boys Confusion were going on tour I would be up and at every single show in a snap, I want to see them again SO BADLY.

59: A band/artist with a sick aesthetic?

Listen, I fucking love July Talk’s black/white, light/dark, sweet/rough contrasting aesthetic. It is everything. It is so well-executed. Talk to me about the first album and how well they played into it. I love them. I love everything they choose to be. I FUCKING LOVE JULY TALK.

60: A song that has a lot of meaning to you?

Plain White T’s - Radios In Heaven is a bit of a thing for me.

#nikkihorrorxx #ALL THE ASKS #who's gonna read this nikki #this is so long #long post

[takeachanceff]

Chapter 21 (Sequel to TAC: Changes)

Teri "JERROD SHUT UP!" I yelled then looking back at Rocko. "Honey put the gun down" I said calmly. He kept it pointed at me then he pointed it at Derrick. It's like he's toying with us. "Put the gun down man" Derrick pleaded. "Come on son be a man use it" Jerrod said to him. Rocko stood there for a moment before pointing the gun back at me. He looked me in the eyes and I smiled a little. "The day you were born was the best day of my life you know that?" I started and he kept his stare on me. "You had the faintest cry I've ever heard. I told everyone to be quiet so I could hear you... You looked at me with those big green eyes and I just melted. From that day you made every single day beautiful even when I'm not in my greatest moment" I said. His face softened up as he stared at me. I felt tears come out looking at my son. He doesn't understand the sacrifices I've made for him just so he can eat. There were many nights that he ate before me and times I didn't eat at all. I cried at night trying to figure out how a bill was gonna get paid. Struggling through school to get my degree, taking him to class with me, so much you just don't know. "You really believe her Rocko?" Jerrod asked before he laughed. I gave Jerrod a look but I remained silent as her began to speak again. "Remember what I told you pretenders try to tell you things that aren't true. She wanted to get rid of you-" I cut him. "Oh really? where were you then for the past five years of his life if I didn't want him?" I asked. "Simply planing" he stated. "Shoot her Rocko... do it!" he said to him. I heard the gun click and Rocko aimed it at me and I closed my eyes tightly hearing the gun go off but it didn't hit me.... Derrick was in front of me breathing heavy. "Derrick?" I said as he looked at me trying to keep his composure but he fell in my arms. I caught him as we fell backwards. "DERRICK!" I screamed looking at him. He was going in and out on me. He was staring at me but his eyes were lifeless. "STAY WITH ME BABY PLEASE!" I begged holding his wound so it would stop bleeding. Manny's face flashed before my eyes as I looked at Derrick. Making me scream "NO NO GOD!" I'm right back where I was..... I ripped my shirt and wrapped it around Derrick's wound to apply more pressure. "You're gonna be okay I promise" I said as my hands shook. I heard Jerrod laugh as I struggled to keep Derrick alive. Once I was done, I laid Derrick on his stomach and walked towards the cage door. Jerrod still continued to laugh as I used my shoulder and force to get the door open. "LET. ME.OUT!" I said as I hit the door making it loose with each hit. "Teri.... stop you're gonna hurt yourself..." Derrick said weakly as I ignored him. "LET ME THE FUCK OUT!" I yelled. This nigga has caused nothing but pain in my life. He's turned my son against me, he manipulated the first love of my life, and he's trying to kill this one. Imma fucking kill him! After a few minutes, I got the door open. I stormed towards Jerrod and I felt a sharp pain my stomach making me flinch but it didn't stop me until a bullet went through my shoulder. I screamed in pain as I fell holding my shoulder. "Mommy!" Rocko yelled running towards me. "All that anger Teri you're setting a bad example" Jerrod said standing over me. He shot my leg making me scream in agony. Rocko tried to get closer and Jerrod pointed the gun at him. "Don't move" he said to him I reached for the knife in my pocket and stabbed his shin. "BITCH!" He yelped before shooting my hand making me scream in pain. Rocko ran over to me and hugged my body like he was covering me. "Nooooo stop hurting my mommy" he said crying. I looked back at Derrick who was trying to move. The door opened and it was one of Jerrods goons. "Aye man we gotta go" he said and Jerrod sucked his teeth looking at him. "I ain't done nigga" he yelled. "We gotta go!" The guy yelled. They ran out and leaving me on the floor. Rocko cried in my side as I tried to hold him with my free hand. "I'm sorry mommy" he said in between sobs. "Listen to me.... go find a phone... call for help..." I said to him. "Mommy no I don't wanna leave" he said looking at me. "I'm okay I need you to be a big boy and go find a phone for mommy please..." I said to him and he nodded and headed out the door. I laid there and watched him leave. I held onto my stomach "Derrick.." I said. "I'm here baby.." he answered. "We're gonna be okay" i said to him. I hope. Derrick made his way to me and tried his best to hold me. "I'm okay baby really.." I said feeling my eyes get heavier. "You're not okay you're bleeding to death..." he said. "Yeah so are you" I said and he chuckled lowly. "He had a point" he said. "He who" I mumbled. "Jerrod.." he answered making me scrunch my face up. Derrick kissed my forehead before speaking again. "I say that because... you have a lot of anger... I've never seen you that mad before... no one do beautiful should be so angry" he said looking down at me. "Sometimes anger can help you survive.." I said taking a deep breath. "I love you" I said looking at him as my eyes started to close. For the first time I said it and didn't feel any regret or any ill feeling. "I love you more..." he said with a faint smile. Derrick I could barely move myself since that bullet went in my back. I held Teri in my arms as she struggled to keep her eyes open. "Keep your eyes open baby...keep em open" I said feeling myself getting light headed. I closed my eyes to regain my composure my vision was becoming blurry. I felt Teri's breathing becoming more faint. "Stay wit me aight you stronger than this.." I said to her. She was looking at me but she wasn't there consciously. I felt like I was losing this battle and so was she. It's like her body was giving out after everything she's gone through. Teri has only told me half of her life story from her parents to even the guy she loved before me. She never told me too much about the situation with her and Rocko's father, but by the looks of it she's in some really deep shit. I'm riding with her though her shit is my shit. "Teri you can't die you hear me?" I said looking into her empty eyes. She still had some hope there but very little. I love Teri so much it's insane. Come on Rocko... Trey "You understand me now?" He said putting a gun to my head. I chuckled and looked at him "Am suppose to be scared or something?" I asked before he punched me in the gut. "Do get bold wit me nigga" he said as I groaned. "Fuck you" I said while chuckling. "This nigga really wanna die" he said before punching me again. "You really don't remember me huh?" He asked before punching my face again. I fell to ground from the impact holding my face before spitting the blood out of my mouth. Fuck this nigga talkin bout? "I got a lot of enemies nigga get in line wit the rest of em" I said trying to get up. He smirked as I looked at him. "You left me to rot remember? New York 10 years ago" he said to me then it rung a bell. "Imma need you to just say it stop giving little ass hints" I said making him elaborate. "I was one of ya boys in ya crew when we went to go raid that drug port in New York" [FLASHBACK] 10 years ago. "Yo let's go" I said running towards the car as they kept shooting. A few of my guys are already dead and I fucked up bad man. One of the guys who was behind me was shot in the back and he reached out for me but they kept shooting. It's them or me I shot back and tried my hardest to help him but they shot him again and he his fell to the concrete. "Fuck" I took the keys out and pulled off as fast as I could. Never looking back. ............ "You left me there and I was your brother" he said pointing the gun at my neck. "I tried helping you" I said calmly. "You a damn lie that's why you dying here" he said before his goons started to beat me up again. Melina They took Jason in the back of a police car and they took him away. I tried to get back in the house but a cop stopped me. "Where is my son?! You took my husband from me what more do you want?!" I yelled before my mom came up to me. "Melina honey calm down" she said to me. "Mom what's going on?" I asked. "I don't know they said they had a warrant on Jason" she stated. "A warrant for what ?!" I semi yelled. "Honey I don't know" she said. "He didn't do anything" I said. I ran my fingers through my hair trying my best to keep calm. "Where's Justin?" I asked. "Marcus has him he's coming out now" she looking at the front door. Marcus had Justin in his arms as he cried. I met Marcus halfway taking him from my brother shushing him. "It's okay it's okay mommys got you. It's okay" I say comforting him. "We gotta get to the station" he said. "Yeah I know" I said before kissing Justin's cheek to calm him down. "What happened?" I asked. "We were all chillin next thing we know the police bust the door form saying they have a warrant. They was pointing guns at us and yelling looking for him. It's crazy" he stated with a mug on his face. "Come on" I said. We headed to my car and we all got in heading to the police department. "Why would they arrest Jason? I thought you said he was done with that business" my mom said comforting Justin. "He is... to my knowledge anyway. He wouldn't lie to me. Jason is a lot of things but he's not a liar" I said confidently. Jason has always kept it real with me even when the truth hurt. He said it was to keep things open between us and to never worry about the reaction. We would always work it out. We drove for a good twenty minutes before reaching the station. I got out and walked inside the bright lights made me squint a little as I walked toward the front desk. The lady up front was a heavy set white lady with bright pink lip stick, blonde hair that was in a bun. She looked up from her pile of papers before speaking. "Can I help you?" She said eyeing me up and down. "I'm looking Jason Hennigan he was just arrested I need to know how much his bail is or where they're holding him?" I stated. "What relationship do you have with Mr. Hennigan?" She asked before rolling her eyes. She then looked back behind me seeing Justin. "Ma'am if you don't have s real relationship with the inmate I can't give you that information" "Excuse me?" I said scoffing at her words. "Girlfriends and baby mamas are not considered legal-" she stated before I cut her off. "I'm his wife" I said showing her the ring on my finger. "Yeah you're right I'm his baby mama alright that he put a ring on. Can I get the information on my husband"I said emphasizing husband making her roll her eyes as she did what I asked. "His bail isn't posted yet right now he's being questioned when it post I'll call you back up please have a seat" she said to me. "Thank you" I said before walking away. "What happened?" Marcus asked seeing the look on my face. "He's being questioned" I stated sitting down. "Questioned? Yo he need a lawyer Mel they gon try to make him admit to something he ain't do" Marcus said sitting next to me. "He shouldn't need a lawyer if he didn't do anything"I said getting slightly annoyed. I'm not annoyed with my brother I just don't wanna be here and I want my husband home. "That's not the point Mel call Teri she'll defend him" he said sitting back in the chair. "I know but I don't where she is" I said truthfully taking my phone out to call her. Her phone rand once and it went straight to voicemail. I tried again and the same thing happened. Fuck. I went back in my contact list and dialed Liyah hoping she answered. "Come on Li pick up pick up" i mumbled as the phone rang. "Hello?" She answered. "Hey Li" I said smiling a little. "Mel thank god you're okay where are you?" She asked. "Yeah I'm fine I'm at central booking" I said crossing my legs. "Why?" She asked with nothing but concern. ""Long story you know where Teri is?" I asked. "No she was trey looking for Rocko but they got separated but I just assumed she was with you" she said. "Wait back up find Rocko? He's missing?" I asked confused. "Yeah Teri said she think Jerrod had something to do with it" "That bastard" I said running my hand down my face. "If I know Teri she's on Jerrod like white on rice to find Rocko but I was hoping Teri was with you I tried calling her and her phone is dead I'm starting to get worried" I stated truthfully. "You telling me that is making me worry too" she said before she sighed. "Wait is Trey okay?" I asked. "I don't know me and nick are looking for him" she said. "Where's lil mama?" I asked referring to Mia. "She's with my mother she's safe is Justin okay?" She asked. "Yeah he's right here" "Mrs. Hennigan?" The lady said catching my attention. "Liyah I gotta go I'll call you later okay love you girl" I said. "Love you too kiss Justin for me" "I will bye" I said before we both hung up. I walked over to the front desk. "So Mr. Hennigan s bail won't post until tomorrow so we have to hold him over night" she said. "You've got to be kidding me" I said trying not to cry. "I'm sorry Mrs Hennigan I don't make rules I just work here" she says shrugging. "Can I at least see him?" I asked. She nodded and asked for my ID. I gave it to her and they searched me before letting me back. Jason was sitting at a table and I ran over to him kissing his face. The guard walked over to us and telling me I can't touch him which annoyed me. I sat down and Jason looked irritated. "Please tell me you getting me outta here" he said looking at me with hopeful eyes. "I wish I can't get you out until tomorrow" I said seeing his disappointment which broke my heart. "This is what I get... my past is catching up to me" he said looking at his cuffed hands. "Don't say that baby you're getting out of here" I said to him. "Mel what if it's best if I'm not around Justin don't need that kind of example-" he said before I cut him off. "Don't talk like that we're gonna be okay. Your coming home and you're gonna see our kids grow. You still owe me two more kids" I said trying to lighten up the mood and he smiled a little which made me happy. "Yeah" he said touching my hand. "I love you" I said to him and looked me in the eyes. "I love you too"

#take a chance chapter list #changes #trey song fanfiction #aaliyah fanfiction #jhene aiko fanfiction #jhene aiko #Monica brown #fanfic #urban #urban fanfiction

[5hfanfiction]

Blame It On Bad Luck - Chapter 21

“Are you ever going to tell me what happened?”

Camila glanced up from the book she was reading, but not long enough to catch the concerned look in the girl’s eyes. She knew she was worried. But she couldn’t handle the pity again.

She was feeling a bit of déjà vu but she knew this was different. She was thinking more rationally. Well, she thought so anyway. Because she had every right to be upset. She promised herself she wasn’t going to come back but…desperate times, right?

She remained silent and went back to reading. She could feel the blonde’s eyes still on her and it made her uncomfortable. She didn’t want to talk about it. She just wanted to avoid the topic as long as possible. The longer she avoided it the longer she avoided thinking about Lauren.

“Not that I don’t love having you here, but there was obviously a reason. And you’re obviously upset about something.”

“Please…” she sighed deeply, still not bringing her gaze up to hers. “I told you. I can handle this on my own. I don’t want you getting involved.”

“Why not?”

“Because I know you, Dinah.”

“Why can’t you just tell me what she did? I know you’re not just pissed and can’t go home, conveniently after your date, because it went really well.”

“You take protective to obnoxious levels. And I love you so much. But please…stay out of it?” she asked in a gentle tone, her voice tired and defeated. She knew her best friend meant well. But she hadn’t even fully processed everything yet and she didn’t need the girl going to her apartment and kicking her roommate’s ass. Even if she deserved it. Dinah remained appearing unconvinced. “For me?”

“You’re lucky I love you too. Or else I would have already gone over there and punched the shit out of her pretty ass face.”

“I know. And I appreciate you actually not doing that. I don’t want to make this a bigger mess, okay? And I can’t thank you enough for letting me crash with you again.”

“Girl, I told you that this is your home too. You’re family and you can stay whenever you want.”

Camila lowered her book in her lap and couldn’t help but smile up at Dinah. She knew she was always welcome in the Hansen household but it still meant a lot to hear that the girl always had her back. She stood from where she was sitting and pulled her into a tight hug.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” she mumbled into her shoulder. She rubbed her back just before pulling away but she held her at arm’s length and narrowed her eyes. “You’re really not gonna tell me what happened.”

“No.”

“Ugh. Fine. I’ll mind my own business,” she conceded, rolling her eyes and shoving her away.

“Thank you.”

“You sure you don’t want to talk about it at all?” she tried one last time. Camila rubbed her eye as she sat back down, crossing her legs and bringing her book back into her lap. She frowned down at it, her mind inevitably going back to the green eyed girl and she drew in a long breath.

“I just needed to get away for a bit is all.”

“I don’t get it; you’re pissed at her but you won’t let me beat her ass? What are you trying to protect her for if she hurt you?”

“I’m not protecting her. I just…I don’t know, Dinah. I’m still not sure what I’m feeling. I mean, yeah, I’m upset. But…”

“But?”

“I can’t help how I feel,” she said sadly, looking up at her best friend with almost guilty eyes.

She felt stupid for it. She tried to convince herself that Lauren was a terrible person who cared about nothing and no one but herself. But something about the way she was acting just didn’t sit right with her.

She had changed so much from when they first met; she didn’t want to believe all of it was a lie just so Lauren could get what she wanted. She didn’t want to believe that Lauren didn’t really care about her. But it didn’t change the fact that she still stole from her.

But it was before they were even friends, before they even tolerated each other. Lauren was being so cold and indifferent the other night she could barely even ask her about it. And she was way too upset to even bother in the moment. She just wanted to get as far away from her as possible.

Lauren hadn’t bothered to try and contact her and Camila didn’t try to talk to her either.

There wasn’t much to say, she figured. Or she wasn’t sure what it was she wanted to tell her. Lauren had a bad habit of jumping the gun, putting words in people’s mouths, breaking things for seemingly no reason.

She was hot headed; she always had been as long as Camila had known her. It’s not something a person generally gets used to. But she had an idea of what was going through her brain. It didn’t make it hurt any less, especially when Lauren made it so fucking impossible to have a normal conversation about these kinds of things.

Plus, she was kind of tired of feeling pathetic for the way she feels about the people that hurt her.

So she stayed at Dinah’s while ignoring the raven haired girl as she tried to figure out what she wanted.

*

The weekend passed with radio silence on both ends.

It didn’t come as much of a surprise. Camila didn’t really expect her to reach out after the way she shut down and blew her off the other night. She also didn’t feel like she should be the one to initiate any kind of conversation—she wasn’t the one who should be sorry.

Lauren hadn’t slept much. The few days passed in a blur, staring at the walls, ignoring Ally’s calls and messages, smoking on the fire escape, sitting on the couch with the television off. If someone asked her if she at least ate something she wouldn’t even be able to remember.

Everything—including Lauren—seemed to be on autopilot and she had no idea where it was leading her.

She skipped her classes come Monday—lying awake through her alarms and ignoring them anyway. She only ever averted her eyes from the wall to glance at her phone, think about calling Camila, but the thought left as quickly as it came and her hands remained still.

In her defense, she wanted to talk to her. She wanted to call her and say she was sorry. She was so fucking sorry. She didn’t know how much good it would do. And in all honesty, she didn’t expect the brunette to forgive her or even care enough to listen anyway.

She looked around the place; everything seemed so…still. A part of her wanted to explode—yell a lot at nobody, drink until she blacked out, break a ton of shit. But she knew it wouldn’t do any good either. And she had no desire to clean up any more of her own messes.

It was only when she noticed the time that she decided she needed to get out of the apartment. She drove quickly and prayed she would make it in time.

She was dragging her feet through the grass quicker than her brain could come up with anything substantial to say but the sight of her daughter happily playing amongst her classmates was enough for her to not even care. And she smiled for the first time since Friday night.

She froze with her lips parted and her heart in her throat as she spotted Camila near the entrance of the building on the other side of the schoolyard. And while everything in her screamed to just muster up the nerve to break the silence between them she knew it wasn’t the time or place for it.

She managed to catch her daughter’s eye and waited, unseen by the brunette as well as anyone else, until she came running over to their usual spot. She was beaming up at her mother, beyond ecstatic for the surprise visit like she always was and Lauren felt her heart break even more than it already had.

Every visit was a surprise visit.

“Hey baby,” she said, kneeling down to her level as she held onto the chain link fence. Kayla moved her fingers over her mother’s and held on as well.

“Hi, mommy.” Her eyes were sparkling in the sunlight of the afternoon with excitement and without even waiting to be asked she began telling the raven haired girl about her day. “Today we had a spelling contest and I got second place. And Mrs. Scott told us that we’re going to have a party in class for Thanksgiving and we all get to bring something in so I’m gonna see if grandma will help me make cupcakes. I asked for cupcakes for my birthday and Uncle Chris said we could have them. And he also promised me we could go to the zoo and, um, maybe a few of my friends from class too,” she explained even though she had already told her about her birthday plans the last time she spent time with her and her brother. She smiled sadly, nodding along anyway, bracing herself for the question she knew was coming.

“That’s great, you-”

“Will you come?” she asked, not giving her a chance to get another word in. She blinked, staring at her daughter’s impossibly hopeful eyes.

“What?”

“To my birthday.” Lauren stayed crouched, hanging onto the fence with an even tighter grip, glancing over her daughter’s shoulder to check if they were still not seen. She sighed with her eyes shut, feeling her heart break entirely with her next words.

“I’m sorry, Kayla. I can’t.” The moment the words fell from her lips she watched the little girl’s face fall, brows furrowed and mouth pulled in a tiny pout.

“But you said you would.”

“What? No I didn’t-”

“You promised,” she said a little louder, causing Lauren’s eyes to dart behind her petite frame again a little more frantically.

“Shh. No, honey, I never said anything like that. I told you before I would try. You know I would if I could.”

“You never come to anything. You always miss my birthday and you don’t come for Christmas or-”

“Baby, please, lower your voice. And you know I can’t.”

“But why,” she continued to whine at the same volume, not listening to her mother’s urges to lower her voice. “Sarah’s sister goes away to school and she always comes home to see her.”

“It’s not that easy for me. Look, you’ll understand more when you’re older but I-” she tried to explain but knew it was pointless with the way her almost five year old was getting frustrated with her excuses, a frown becoming more prominent and tears welling in her eyes. And Lauren prayed she wouldn’t start crying; she didn’t need her drawing any attention to them and she really couldn’t stand to see her daughter upset. It was worse because she was always the only one causing her sadness. She knew she wouldn’t just accept her absence without throwing a tantrum every now and then. She was just a child after all; a child who wanted her mom. “I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not. You don’t even want to come home. I heard grandma say so.”

“What? Of course I do.”

“No you don’t!” she argued louder. Lauren raised her hands, looking over Kayla’s shoulder again.

“Kayla, you have to keep your voice down,” she pleaded but it was as if she said nothing at all. The little girl was wiping her cheek with the back of her hand and it killed Lauren that she couldn’t even hold her, couldn’t wrap her in a hug, couldn’t promise her that everything was going to be okay.

“I don’t care,” she mumbled through her tears. “Why don’t you want to come home?”

“I do-”

“You say soon but you never come home.” She wiped her face some more and it felt like a jagged knife being shoved into Lauren’s chest when she spoke again. “You don’t care about me…just like daddy.”

She placed her hands back on the fence, her fingers clinging to the chain links as she felt her heart plummet to the bottom of her stomach, tears forming in her own eyes, the guilt making her sick enough to throw up.

She looked at her daughter who refused to look back at her. And she felt like the worst person in the world for making her feel like that, like she didn’t matter to her, like she didn’t care about her or love her or want to come home to her.

It wasn’t the first time she’d gotten upset with her but it was the first time she ever compared her to her absent father. And Lauren couldn’t even come up with anything to tell her to make it better. Because she knew nothing she said would fix the colossal mess she’d made over the years.

“You know that’s not true,” was all she could manage. But it wasn’t enough. She knew it would never be enough. And she didn’t blame her at all for feeling the way she did. “Look, I promise I’ll talk to your uncle about your birthday-”

“No.”

“What?”

“No,” she repeated, raising her voice again, “I don’t want you to come. Just go away.”

“Kayla-”

“I hate you.”

Lauren froze at her daughter’s words. No matter how many times she had gotten upset at her, not once did she ever tell her that she hated her. And despite always fearing she would, she wasn’t prepared to hear it.

“Lauren?”

Her name being called grabbed her attention so fast her heart nearly stopped at the sound. She looked up to find her roommate staring at the pair of them in confusion and concern once she noticed the tear tracks staining the little girl’s cheeks.

“Shit,” she mumbled under her breath, barely even audible, but she stood up straight as the brunette approached them, thankfully alone. She knew her first instinct was to turn around and run, to get away as fast as possible but she was stuck, rooted to the ground like her shoes had been nailed down.

“Kayla, honey, why don’t you go inside and wash your face and then go back with everyone else,” she told her gently before a thought came to her. “Or you can go sit in the classroom for the rest of recess if you don’t want to play anymore. I’ll be there in a minute, okay?” she offered and the child nodded her head wordlessly, wiping her eyes once more before heading towards the building without so much as even a glance at her mother. Camila took a moment to look around the school yard before turning back to her roommate with an expression she couldn’t read even if her focus wasn’t on the her daughter’s retreating form. “Lauren, you need to leave.”

“Camila…” she started, unsure of where she was even going with it. All she knew was she fucked up so badly and all she ever did was fuck up so badly and she didn’t know how to stop fucking up so fucking badly. “I’m sorry.” So she apologized.

“Look, I don’t know what just happened but the last thing I need is a scene so you really need to leave before someone else comes out here,” she told her but the green eyed girl shook her head stubbornly, ignoring her every word, knowing full well that if someone else did actually come out she was going to be royally screwed.

“I’m so sorry. I’ve fucked up so much. But I'm so fucking sorry.” And though her words were shaky and terribly late she said them through trembling lips, wishing she could take back every horrible thing she’d ever done. She wished she could stop hurting the people she cared about.

“We can’t do this right now, not here. You need to leave.”

“But Camila-”

“Lauren, please,” she stressed desperately. And she could see in her eyes, she was serious. “Don’t make me call security.”

She looked behind her again, with Lauren’s eyes following, and saw Mrs. Scott coming outside—probably to see why one of her students had come back inside in tears. And Lauren knew Camila was right. She needed to leave or else this was going to end badly.

With a heavy heart and all the regret in the world she sighed, swallowing hard as she held her tongue and turned around to head back to her car.

It wasn’t rare that she could actually feel her entire life falling apart because when she thought about it, it had been in pieces for such a long time. And she wasn’t sure it was even possible to put it back together anymore. It seemed like the more she tried the more it fell apart, breaking further into tinier and tinier pieces.

She sat in her car, far away from the school, hitting the steering wheel, screaming every curse word in her vocabulary as she cried; every tear stinging her eyes, burning her skin, her palms throbbing and throbbing.

It felt like ages before she felt composed enough to drive herself home. It felt like ages while she waited, like a puppy does for its human, for Camila to come home from work.

She knew it was pointless. She knew it was dumb to believe she would actually come home. She hadn’t come home since she left that night and Lauren still somehow waited with stupid hope that she would walk through the door.

She called her a dozen times, a hundred times, a million times. No answer. No answer. No answer. There was never any answer.

She felt on edge, anxious, staring at her phone, staring at the door. She was up, pacing, pacing. She was on the fire escape, smoking one cigarette after the other, each one dangling shakily between her fingers. The apartment stayed silent. The door never opened.

She stormed out of the place, feeling herself going insane in the silence. She zipped up her jacket and took the stairs down instead of the elevator and sighed deeply when she was finally met with the cool air of the night. And with her hands in her pockets she wandered down the street, gripping her phone still hoping it would ring.

It was a while before she dialed her number again, resting her elbows against the bar counter at Brady’s. It rang. It rang. It rang. And it didn’t last as long. Because Camila’s voice was soon on the other end of the line, quiet and reserved—curious but cautious.

“You’re not going to stop calling, are you?” she asked softly. She sounded tired and Lauren was just too surprised that she actually picked up to say anything back. “Lauren? You there?”

“Yeah…yeah, I’m here,” she cleared her throat. “I’m sorry…I…I didn’t think you’d actually pick up. I’m not really sure what to say.”

“Then why’d you even call?”

“Because…” she took a breath, running her hand through her hair nervously, swallowing her pride once again, “I’m sorry. For everything.”

“Lauren…” She sighed, hearing the slur in her voice and the loud noises from wherever the girl was. And it didn’t take much to come to the conclusion she did. “You’re drunk.”

“Please don’t hang up,” she said in a rush as she got up from her seat and headed outside to hear her better. “I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t have acted the way I did on Friday. But I didn’t expect all of that to…to come out so suddenly. I don’t know why I said all those things.” She paused and glanced around the street. There were some groups of people hanging around in front of the bar but she still felt so alone. “And I know you don’t believe me but…those pills you found…they weren’t mine.”

“Why didn’t you just say so? I asked you because I didn’t want to believe they were but you just closed up and pushed me away.”

“I don’t know, Camila. I…I saw the drugs and it was just…it was like I was looking through blinders, like I couldn’t even hear anything you were saying. It’s like a completely different person is inside my head and it fucking scares me…that…that might not ever go away. And…it’s fucked up,” she explained as Camila waited patiently on the other end of the call. “How am I ever supposed to have…a normal fucking life again? How am I supposed to have a relationship with my friends, my family, with anybody? I'm…such a huge fuck up, Camz.”

“So…what, you thought you’d be protecting yourself if you just pushed me away, protecting me? You want to just throw everything away before giving anything a chance? You act as if I don’t know these things about you, Lauren. One minute I think we’re heading in the right direction and the next you completely turn around and you act like this gigantic asshole that couldn’t give a shit about anything or anyone but herself. And it’s exhausting trying to keep up with you especially when you don’t even have the decency to be honest with me when that’s literally all I ever asked from you.”

“I know. I wish…I wish I had an excuse. But there’s no point. It’s all on me and I…I don’t know what to do to fix any of this.”

“Are you going to try to tell me you didn’t actually take my guitar either?” she asked, not even bothering to cover the sarcastic tone lacing her words. And Lauren could hear the disappointment without even having to see it on her face. She bit her lip and shut her eyes, hoping that it would somehow make things better when she opened them again. But she knew it was pointless.

“No…I did.”

It was silent for a moment and Lauren waited with her phone pressed so hard against her ear she wondered if Camila could hear the blood rushing, pounding, as she held her breath with no response from the other girl. And with every passing second she felt like she was going to be sick.

“Right…” she finally said, something off about her voice, and Lauren felt the corners of her eyes burning.

“Camila, please, I’m-”

“You’re sorry,” she finished for her, sounding more defeated than angry, which threw her off a bit. She was expecting…something else entirely. “You’re always sorry, Lauren.”

“I wanted to tell you…or—or at least make it up to you somehow. But…I knew I couldn’t without telling you that it was me and I knew—I knew—how upset you were about it. And I felt terrible, even then.”

“Even then,” she repeated tiredly, with no emotion. “Is that supposed to change things?”

“No, I know it doesn’t. Nothing’s going to change that. But it’s been bothering me ever since…because I know that no matter what, whenever I did tell you…that was going to be it. I know I don’t say it enough—at all—but I do care about you. I do. I was in such a bad place when I did what I did. You have to believe that I was…I was a completely different person. It was like, a week and a half into meeting you. You could’ve been anybody. You didn’t mean anything to me then. But fuck, Camila…” she stopped and took a breath, fearing her words were getting jumbled. And all she wanted was for her to believe her next words. “You mean something to me now.”

“Lauren…” she sighed, “get in a cab and go home. Get some sleep.”

“What? Brady’s isn’t even that far from the apartment.”

“But you’re drunk.”

“I’m fine.”

It was silent again. Lauren was sure she could hear her uneven breathing even though Camila gave no indication she was even still on the line with her anymore. She wouldn’t blame her for hanging up. She was tired of always giving excuses when it all came down to her anyway.

And Camila wanted to hang up. There was a big part of her telling her to just stand her ground and not be a pushover like she always was with people. She wanted to say something to maybe hurt her because she shouldn’t be the only one who gets to do it.

“I know it doesn’t matter anymore,” she continued when she was only met with the prolonged silence, “but I really am sorry for what I did. And for anything else. Okay? You don’t deserve it.”

Lauren waited again for a response as the cool night breeze blew past her hair. She ran her hand through it, feeling more anxious as the seconds passed with nothing but more silence from the other girl. She pulled her phone back and saw that she was still on the line.

“I’m so…mad at you,” she said calmly but firmly. “And I’m so mad at myself,” she continued, and Lauren heard her take in a low, shaky breath. She cursed herself, imagining the look on her face, tears held back. A few months ago she wouldn’t have even gave it a second thought, upsetting anybody even a little bit. But Camila wasn’t just anybody anymore. “I’m mad that I keep giving you the benefit of the doubt just for you to never change. I’m mad that I care so much, that I want you to be better…for your sake, for your family. I’m mad that I…that I can’t help the way I feel about you…even when I have every right to hate you.”

“You do. Of course you,” she agreed quickly, knowing everything she was saying was true. And she hated herself for letting her down time and time again when all she ever wanted was to help her.

“But I don’t,” she said suddenly, surprising the green eyed girl. “I wanted to—I want to—and I know I should. But I can’t bring myself to and it’s not fair.” She sighed, feeling more frustrated than anything else. She knew staying with Dinah was always an option but she couldn’t stay there forever. And as much as she didn’t want to deal with it, she knew she had to come back to the apartment eventually. And she couldn’t deny her feelings for the girl any more than she could deny her disappointment. “I don’t know what to do, Lauren.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again, unsure of what else would even make a difference at that point.

“I know you are. Or at least I want to believe you are.”

“I’ll…I’ll find a way to make things better,” she said, her words still slurring together a bit. “I’ll fix this somehow. I’m gonna make it better,” she assured her. And Camila had a feeling she wasn’t just referring to the two of them. The whole situation with her daughter wasn’t lost on her and she knew she was still hurting from that as well, whatever it was. “Will you come back?”

“Lauren…just…please,” she wasn’t sure what she was asking of the girl but she knew that going home and facing her again didn’t seem like a good idea that night. She knew she was drunk and she wasn’t sure they would even get anywhere and she wasn’t in the mood to argue. She was just about to explain that she needed some time before she could do that but the sudden dead silence was concerning and she pulled her phone back to see that she had hung up.

She groaned loudly, throwing her phone against the bed before rubbing her eyes roughly. She thought about texting her but didn’t even know what she would say so she figured she’d let the girl sober up and hopefully they could come back to the conversation at a better time.

*

Camila didn’t hear back from Lauren the rest of the night.

She texted her despite herself, saying she hoped she got home okay. But the blue text bubble turned green when it sent and she wasn’t met with a response. She didn’t think much of it and decided to just let the girl be.

She went about the next day as normal, not missing that a certain raven haired roommate of hers was absent from their morning psychology lecture. She assumed she was just hungover and slept through it; it wouldn’t have been the first time.

She busied herself with school and guitar lessons in the evening at the record store followed by homework when she got back to Dinah’s. It wasn’t until she was woken up in the middle of the night by her phone ringing beside her head that she allowed herself to think about her whole Lauren situation.

“Hello?” she said groggily, her voice slightly raspy from sleep. She forced herself out of bed and went downstairs to the kitchen to not bother anybody. It was a while before there was a response on the other end.

“Camila.”

“Ally?” she questioned in confusion, checking the caller ID to make sure she wasn’t mistaken. And sure enough, the petite Latina’s name was displayed in the bright light.

“I’m sorry for waking you,” she said right away, hearing the sleepiness in her voice. “I know it’s late.”

“No, it’s okay. What’s up?”

“It’s about Lauren.”

“What about Lauren?” she barely got out through her yawn, She was met with more silence and she didn’t know what to make of it. “Ally? Hello?” she tried again but didn’t receive an answer. Her silence concerned her and she felt herself wake up a bit more as she waited. “Is everything alright?” It was quiet for a few more seconds before she heard some noise in the background. “Where are you?”

“The hospital.”

*    *    *    *

a/n: sorry if it’s shorter than usual; I’ll try to get started on the next one soon

as always, thanks for reading. aside from a couple, the comments/feedback has been really nice so i appreciate that.

(this story can also be read on my wattpad account, username: manhattanProject)

-lex

#UPDATE #series #AU #slash #camren #angst drama #submission #Blame It On Bad Luck