#was like u shouldn’t do that bro and everyone fucking hated me for 3 years
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(yet another ollie/wicks ficlet, but this one got slightly out of hand, clocking in at 1.3k for absolutely no reason, so there’s a line break. this is set during the november of bitty’s sophomore year.)
don’t treat him like a mind reader
It’s mid-November when Ollie and Wicky first notice.
They’re on their weekly coffee date at Annie’s, trading sips of each other’s drinks and proof-reading the other’s most recent paper, when Jack Zimmermann walks through the door. Ollie knows that he should probably be on a first name basis with Jack Zimmermann at this point, considering the fact that he’s their team captain and they’ve been attending the same weekly bonding sessions at the Haus since the beginning of freshman year.
(However, it’s Jack Zimmermann, and Ollie doesn’t think he’ll ever get over the fact that he knows this guy in real life and that he’s met Bad Bob and he’s playing on the same team as someone that will be a shoe-in for next year’s Calder winner no matter which team he signs for and Ollie is an obnoxious fanboy, and this is why he largely steers clear of Jack Zimmermann, lest he embarrasses himself.)
Anyway, it’s a surprise that Jack Zimmermann is in Annie’s for 2 reasons.
Everyone knows that Jack hates paying money for coffee, when he just drinks it black (because he has no taste) and we have coffee at the Haus, why would I buy some extortionate cup of overly sweet sludge?
He’s just had his history class with Bitty, and everyone knows that Jack immediately goes back to the Haus to make his notes from lectures, because Jack Zimmermann works harder than God.
(Okay, so maybe not everyone knows these things, but Ollie absolutely does because these are crucial details in his plan to avoid Jack Zimmermann at all times.
Well maybe the coffee thing isn’t part of that plan; it’s more the fact that Jack complains loudly about it at Team Breakfast, despite the fact that he is a millionaire with more money than Ollie will ever see and can definitely afford an extortionate cup of overly sweet sludge.)
Ollie flicks Wicky’s forehead where he’s leaning over his most recent Econ essay. “Dude, what’s Jack doing here? Shouldn’t he be back at the Haus, making his obscenely perfect notes?” His eyes tracked Jack’s movements as he ordered two coffees and made his way to a table. “Hold on, is Hockey Robot Jack Zimmermann on a date?”
Wicky frowns at Ollie’s fingers as they come away from his forehead, and runs a hand through his hair. His eyes flick up to Jack’s table. “Nah, he’s probably waiting for Bitty; he’s tutoring him in French this semester.”
As if on cue, Bitty walks through the door, evidently having been challenged by Jack to a run across campus and evidently having lost, despite being the fastest guy on the team. Ollie watches as he grins at Jack and makes his way to the table, not looking at the barista once.
“Huh,” he mutters, “you were right.”
Wicky’s head snaps up, affronted. “Why do you sound so surprised? I literally saw them here last Tuesday.”
“Why didn’t I know this then? I’m always here with you.”
Wicky rolls his eyes. “Dude, you were at that meeting with your Bio professor; the reason I was here is because I was literally waiting for you. They’d just left by the time you were done discussing carbohydrates or mitochondria or whatever it is you do in Bio.” Ollie grins at him; STEM professors always rub Wicky up the wrong way; it’s a side effect of being forced to go to a science specialist high school when you have no interest in STEM. “Anyway, I’m still trying to work out if they’re doing tutoring or tutoring.”
Ollie furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”
Wicky gestures not-so-discreetly at where Bitty and Jack are laughing over their French flashcards. “Look at Bitty; are you seriously telling me that he’s not in love with Jack?”
“No!” Ollie holds up his hands. “You know that I would never deny the fact that the straight boy that Bitty is pining for is Jack, but do you really think that Jack Zimmermann, Hockey Robot isn’t straight?” Ollie watches the aforementioned Hockey Robot grin down at Bitty, eyes softer than Ollie’s ever seen them. “Actually, you know what, Jack Zimmermann isn’t straight. He looks like a fucking movie star out of the 1950s with the way he’s trying to flirt with Bitty over there.”
Wicky stares at him. “That sentence was incomprehensible, but I think I get what you mean.”
The two of them turn to face Jack and Bitty, as their hands brush together as they each reach for another flashcard. Ollie gapes openly at how Jack Zimmermann’s face flushes red at the contact. “Fuck it, I’m just gonna ask Bitty when we’re at the Haus tonight.”
o0O0o
The rhythm of Beyoncé throbs through the hallway of the Haus and his feet as Ollie knocks on the door of the kitchen. Bitty’s voice struggles to reach over the music as he shouts “Come in!”
Ollie opens the door tentatively and the music goes silent. “Hey, Bitty. I was wondering if I could ask you something?”
“Of course, honey!” Bitty whirls around from where he was faffing next to the oven. “What do you-? What on God’s green Earth are you wearing?”
Ollie glances down at the orange and white striped outfit that Shitty’s making him wear for his dibs, including fins and a tail. “I honestly don’t know. I think it might have once been a tangential joke that Holster made about Ransom being a coral reef that eventually spiralled into this hell. Wicky’s dressed as Dory if it’s any consolation.”
Bitty removes his oven gloves and places them lovingly on the stove. “It is absolutely no consolation whatsoever, but it is quite entertaining.” His eyes roam up and down Ollie’s body (a move that Ollie would have thought was flirtatious if Bitty hadn’t been quite so in love with Jack Zimmermann) and he giggles in that way that only Bitty can. “Anyway, what did you need?”
A slice of pie appears in front of Ollie on a plate. He doesn’t question it; he’s learnt not to question how baked goods suddenly materialise around Bitty.
“Oh, yeah.” Ollie takes a mouthful of pie. “Me and Wicky were wondering if Jack was like tutoring you in French, like how Wicky tutors me in Philosophy?”
(Ollie and Wicky have long since established that they don’t want to be out to the whole team, so they came up with a code word for date night that they can use with the people that know about their relationship, which is basically just Shitty and Bitty, but whatever.)
Bitty nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, exactly like that!” He takes a bite of his own pie. “He’s such a great tutor; he’s so good at French!”
Ah, that clears that up then.
Ollie grins at Bitty. “You know, if you ever want to discuss tutoring, I’m always willing to listen, and I know Wicky is too.” He stands up, wipes his mouth, and claps Bitty on the back. “Good talk.”
“Oh, was that all you wanted to know?”
“Yeah, I’ve got to get back to reenacting scenes from Finding Nemo. Just keep swimming.”
o0O0o
“Yeah, they’re dating.”
“Oh, thank God, for a second I thought that they were just that oblivious.”
(A year later they get a text from Bitty announcing that he and Jack were dating.
oily: thanks for letting us know officially bro! we were happy to keep it on the dl til u were ready to come out!
candle: thanks in return for keeping our relationship a secret! we knew that you could keep it a secret!
itsy bitsy baker: how did you guys know about us?? i never told you we were dating??
oily: yh, u did??
itsy bitsy baker:
we didn’t get together until the summer after sophmore year??
also, did you guys say you were dating?!?
candle: yeah, we told you at the end of freshman year, bro. you literally caught us making out in your room??
itsy bitsy baker: i-?? what???)
part 1 part 2 part 3
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Distanced, part 1
Summary: A group chat fic! How shall these useless students cope with daily life.
Note: This is my first attempt at anything even remotely like this! I have no idea how this will turn out so feedback is greatly appreciated! Intrulogical.
Next part here!!
.
MESSAGES: To Remus Prince (Presentation)
Tuesday, 16:15
Hello. This is Logan Sanders from Prof. Smith’s seminar. Do you have any suggestions for how we should go about completing the upcoming assessment?
Remus Prince: who dis
I literally just stated it. Logan Sanders.
I wear the tie.
Remus Prince: OHHH
Remus Prince: Well 1stly
Remus Prince: What’s the best planet in the solar system?
Pardon?
Remus Prince: i LitERaLlY JuSt stAtED iT
That has nothing to do with anything, we just need to get through this project.
Remus Prince: if u want to work then u have to answer
Jupiter.
Remus Prince: cool.
Remus Prince: You’ll do.
Remus Prince: My name is Remus.
I know. We did actually swap phone numbers. We in fact discussed which topic we would be doing for over fifteen minutes in the seminar. So we have indeed met. If you continue to be obnoxious then this will be a easier project.
.
MESSAGES: To Remus Sanders (Presentation)
Tuesday, 16:22
Why did you ask that question?
Remus Prince: I asked my brother that question and he answered earth
Remus Prince: I’ve had trust issues ever since
Roman’s favourite planet is Earth?
Remus Prince: HAH
Remus Prince: ye he’s an idiot
Remus Prince: I’ve gotta test everyone now.
Remus Prince: You passed btw
Remus Prince: WAIT!
Remus Prince: Do u know Ro?
Yes, he is my friend and roommate.
Remus Prince: What was ur name again????????
You can literally scroll up and reread it. I refuse. You got into university for a reason and so you can manage my name.
Remus Prince: jk
Okay then. Do you want to discuss how we should go about creating this powerpoint?
Remus Prince: what’s there to ‘discuss’?
We can separately conduct our research however it is regrettably better to meet up in person to practise not only giving the presentation but also the construction of the presentation itself.
Remus Prince: man you just love sending essays huh
I have written out longer messages. I don’t understand the point of sending a sentence at a time and risk getting interrupted. Plus at least my texting doesn’t seem all like an assault of constant notifications.
Remus Prince: fair
Shall we say that we should aim to get our presentation research finished by two weeks (15th). That leaves us another two weeks to construct the powerpoint, gather more research if necessary, then practise presenting.
Remus Prince: k
GROUPCHAT: Goths, Emos, and Remus
Tuesday, 16:26
Octopussy: can I vent for a sec
Octopussy: So! I’m just sitting here. Y’know. Vibing.
Octopussy: Then out of nowhere the nerd from my class starts messaging me about the group project that’s due a month away
Octopussy: like wtf
Octopussy: nice to know the nerd thing isn’t just appearance
Vigilant: help
Octopussy: he made a big deal about meeting up as well to do this!
Octopussy: No one in the class even cares!
Octopussy: No one is even remotely
Octopussy: Not even close
Octopussy: To thinking about that project right now!
Octopussy: We’ve got ages!
Vigilant: oh sweet jesus
Octopussy: Like! We’ve got a month!
Octopussy: AN ENTIRE MONTH
Octopussy: Like he also wants to meet up as well to practise
Octopus: Like ew.
Top-Hat-Gay: Are you done?
Octopussy: ye
Octopussy: he’s a dick
Vigilant: oh thank god
Top-Hat-Gay: Ha, as if you believe in god.
Vigilant: If it stops Re from not spamming us then I’ll believe whatever.
Octopussy: rude
Vigilant: bitch
Top-Hat-Gay: On an actually important note, which one of you last used my nail bag?
Octopussy: me!
Octopussy: you need more green
Top-Hat-Gay: No I fucking don’t!
Top-Hat-Gay: There was an entirely new bottle in there!
Octopussy: I said what I said.
Top-Hat-Gay: I hate you.
Octopussy: Thank bby
Octopussy: ALSO!
Octopussy: I found out the nerd also lives with Ro.
Top-Hat-Gay: So?
Vigilant: hE’S FORBIDDEN
Top-Hat-Gay: Wait so the nerd is Logan?
Octopussy: He is!
Octopussy: not that it seems to be having any effect on Ro. he’s as dense as a brick.
Top-Hat-Gay: I saw him today going into Remy’s.
Vigilant: Why are we even talking about him
Vigilant: Like who gives a shit.
Octopussy: dunno
Octopussy: just thought it was weird
Top-Hat-Gay: Maybe you should switch partners. Especially if he wants to meet up at some point.
Octopussy: nah
Octopussy: not worth it
Top-Hat-Gay: A teacher wouldn’t care. They only want to see good grades. They won’t mind moving stuff around for you.
Octopussy: He seems harmless.
Vigilant: you literally called him a dick after one conversation.
Octopussy: he is a dick
Octopussy: he seems stuffy but just a nerd through and through. He’s not going to be a prick or anything.
Vigilant: This isn’t really about him. He already got you talking about you know who in your first ever conversation. Maybe you shouldn’t hang around him.
Octopussy: I just thought it was interesting
Octopussy: It doesn’t mean jack shit
Octopussy: Not everything I talk about has some grand meaning.
Octopussy: I just thought it was weird that this nerd I share my classes with also lives with my bro.
Top-Hat-Gay: And that’s perfectly fine Re.
Octopussy: soz V
Octopussy: didn’t mean to blow up in your face
Octopussy: just annoying to feel psycho-analysed
Vigilant: soz
Octopussy: okay!
Octopussy: that’s proof enough!
Octopussy: we can behave to each other so ice cream plz!!!!!!!!!!!
Top-Hat-Gay: JESUS CHRIST I SAID THAT AS A JOKE LAST YEAR
Octopussy: I will eat V’s posters unless you give us reward good boy icecream
Vigilant: chocolate pls
Top-Hat-Gay: jesus do you lot know how long it takes for me to put on my cape to go shopping
Vigilant: yes
Vigilant: we are precisely aware of exactly how long it takes
Vigilant: that’s why we don’t go shopping with you
GROUPCHAT: THE FAM ILY
Tuesday, 16:38
Pat-on-the-back: Heya guys, are we all in for dinner tonight?
Logan.S: I am.
YourHopesandDreams: I will be in at 7. If you could be so compassionate to push your meal back until then, I would be truly indebted to you.
Pat-on-the-back: Fine by me!
Logan.S: I am agreeable.
Pat-on-the-back: Also Lo! Are you finished with your work?
Logan.S: I have finished my to-do list so I am available if I’m needed.
Pat-on-the-back: No, you’re all good! I just wanted to check. It sounded like you were doing work for like four hours straight.
Logan.S: It took three hours thank you very much.
Logan.S: So what are we doing for dinner?
Pat-on-the-back: I was thinking lasagne!
Pat-on-the-back: also! Don’t think I’ll notice that change in topic!
Pat-on-the-back: I thought we all agreed on two hour stretches of work with a 15 min break at least. I mean... it’s even written on our calendar! There’s no way you forgot, did you Mister!
Logan.S: It’s fine Pat.
Logan.S: Just let it go
Logan.S: I needed to get it done
Logan.S: I don’t need to be babied.
Logan.S: I’m taking a break now. I’m okay.
Pat-on-the-back: I know, I’m sorry. I just want to make sure. As long as you feel okay then everything’s alright! How was your work anyway?
Logan.S: Fairly ordinary actually. I had to go through some of my notes and rewrite a couple of pages then I had to organise a group project due the 2nd of March.
Pat-on-the-back: Sounds productive!
Logan.S: Thank you.
YourHopesandDreams: Ew. Group project. Who’s your partner?
Logan.S: We are in entirely different courses, why do you think you would know them?
YourHopesandDreams: Everyone knows the drama students know everyone.
Logan.S: I’m working with Remus.
YourHopesandDreams: You should ask to swap partners.
Logan.S: I won’t do so unless I have a genuine reason. I’ve not had any interactions with him previously and while he did seem half-hearted and obnoxious in his messages, he seems harmless. If he messes everything around then I will but I won’t make a fuss unless I have reason to.
Pat-on-the-back: That’s fair but please make sure to tell us if he pulls anything.
YourHopesandDreams: Your loss.
.
MESSAGES: To Nerd
Wednesday, 3:02
hey u awake
Nerd: What on earth are you doing up at 3am?
Oh
Soz
Wrong number.
MESSAGES: To Nerd
Wednesday, 3:12
Nerd: What is your favourite planet?
wha
Nerd: I figured it would be fair to ask your test to you. For all I know you could be as uncultured as your brother.
can we not talk about him
I dunno really
I wanna say pluto because they deserve it
but I kinda like saturn best.
Nerd: Any reason why?
Just kinda interesting
Big, lots a moons, ring.
It’s just a cool planet.
Nerd: Fair enough.
Do you have a reason to like jupiter?
Nerd: If I’m being honest, my science teacher absolutely adored Jupiter. I don’t know why but that memory of him ranting about how cool it was just really stuck with me. I was only about 8 years old. But I found myself agreeing with him. Back then my fascination was a lot more childish. I thought it was fascinating that since Jupiter was a gas planet it hadn’t been blown away yet. I grew up from that view but the interest never left.
ew that was almost cute.
Nerd: I concur that was very unprofessional.
WAIT
WAIT
HOLD ON
Why hasn’t Jupiter blown away!?!?!?!?!??
Nerd: Excuse me?
8YR OLD YOU IS A GENUIS
Nerd: There’s no atmosphere in space!
But there’s pressure and junk isn’t there?
Nerd: The pressure is pulling the mass into the centre which keeps the planet whole.
Do you think we could step on Jupiter?
Nerd: I don’t know.
I thought you knew space!
Nerd: I do biology! To get into a biology degree, I did a bunch of biology based subjects! Why would I know anything about space?
I dunno.
I guess if you look like a nerd people just presume.
Nerd: I’ve personally found it’s the confidence. If you act confident enough then everyone presumes you know exactly what you’re doing and you’re in control, no matter how out of place you look.
I’ll drink to that!
Wait, in what situation would you have learnt this!?!
Nerd: I have a bad habit of accidentally going to the wrong class and just going along with it rather than anything else. Although I should say I did fantastic in that architectural history class. But this habit has caused some awkward situations. I have also impersonated a store manager to explain why me and my friend were there when really he ran into the warehouse searching for a kitten.
HAH
That’s brilliant
Using your nerdy powers to overthrow society.
Does this mean you’re a liar?
Nerd: I call it ‘managing life’.
HAH
Sounds about right.
Why are you awake at this time?
Nerd: I could ask you that.
#sanders sides#logan sanders#remus sanders#My writing#roman sanders#patton sanders#Janus Sanders#deceit sanders#virgil sanders#group chat fic#fluff
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I don't know if this has been asked before, but I was wondering what your thoughts on Rhea are.
Oh, I don't think someone asked it, but I remember a character meme.
Rhea's in the Julia tier : you're expecting things and the game doesn't give you any.
you asked for thoughts so this is long and rather unorganised even if i tried a bit and i feel like i repeated myself a lot so meh
If Edel and Rhea have one thing in common, it's being shafted by the need to make Billy the most special being every with the monstrous "I was lonely before you player-chan uwu".
Seteth'n'Flayn ? In the same trashcan Hubert went in.
Catherine, Shamir, the randoms living in the monastery? Dgaf but still she's willing to die for them so does she really gaf or not? Rhea's willing to give her blood and crest stone shards (to this day I still don't understand what those are) to trusted randoms who would become cardinals? "uwu player-chan". I know I've written a bit about it with the seirelm anon, but with the Canon-ish info? Post Zanado Rhea told a random dude she could turn in a dragon, gave her blood to the same dude and remained in his empire/fighting by his side for at least 30 years. Still “lonely without U Billy <3″
I've written this in the meme entry, but Rhea has her own net of relationships. They're not as important as Dimitri and his childhood friends, but erasing them for the sake of "player-chan" feels wrong.
Role and goals
Rhea's in an interesting place, being a former "legendary hero" like Athos, Sephiran etc.
Still her fight isn't over, she only defeated Nemesis and couldn't end the mastermind behind (a bit like Seliph if you only kill Arvis or Roy when you forget to pick up every legendary weapon). Also, if Seiros killed Nemesis, she hasn't won. In the current Fodlan, she still has to pretend to be a human, the Nabateans as a culture/population are dead. They're still 5 (ish? I think the apostles are lizards), she's still afraid humans will dice them if they learn the truth. Has she won? Idk. Could she win and make a Fodlan were lizards and humans could live together? I don't think so.
Her role as the Archbishop? Well, the game really liked Rhea as a red herring during white clouds and the way FE16 is built, around the monastery, reinforces it. Rhea's the head of the monastery, so she's the head of your world. Everything wrong with the world is automatically linked to Rhea.
So, when Marianne complains about people wanting to kill/ostracise her because of her crest, thinking it's a curse, we of course wonder "why Rhea can't tell to the randoms that no Marianne shouldn't be killed/shunned because of her crest?". Completely forgetting that, hey, Marianne's from the Alliance and heiress of Edmund, so if some people should intervene, it should be her dad "why the fuck are you trying to kill my daughter" or the Alliance council "Duke Riegan, could you please make a public statement about my daughter and how she isn't some sort of demonic beast so stop throwing rocks at her?".
Same thing with the Empire, why should you blame the church and the crests instead of the people doing shit? Hanneman's brother in law? Like is marriage so absolute that a husband can force multiple pregnancies on his wife to the point of literally killing her? The von Essar aren't as important as the Bergliez, but Hanneman's sister dying like that should have rang some bells? Hanneman's dad didn't care? No one wanted to appeal to the Emperor or something? If Jane the random or Karen the peasant died this way, it’d be usual class nonsense. But a noble woman??
Rhea should have done more to prevent crest abuse. She wrote tenets in her Bible and apparently doesn't discriminate in her monastery. But in the other countries? Idk. Her tenets are interpreted like your shopping list by Gloucester Sr "and add a part where interacting with foreigners goes against Seiros's teachings what yes I know better than those dunces from the eastern/central church".
It's not because Riegan Sr and Ionius aren't doing shit that she should do nothing too, but ultimately it falls on the usual landmine about Rhea's influence and power over Fodlan and if we consider Fodlan isn't just the Monastery we see but a continent made up of 4 autonomous states...
The so-called status quo isn't upheld by the church alone (if it is upheld in the first place!), but also by the empire and the Alliance... Lambert was toasted before making any changes, the Alliance is that weird thing where money is anything and crests/old nobility doesn't matter anymore, and the Empire is... Well. The Empire.
Regarding this, I find it really strange that Rhea went to Goneril and rescued one of their slaves, with how much she cares about protecting her monastery and not antagonising anyone, picking Cyril up, risking the ire of house Goneril, feels really risky from her perspective.
Imo WC doesn't sell me the "church rules over the continent" take.
Ultimately it doesn't matter because Rhea thinks she should have done more, and abused her position as the archbishop to rez her mom - I understand the "abused her position" as regretting her various omissions, like helping more people around etc etc.
I also feel like Rhea’s got a big survivor complex, and tries to fulfill impossible tasks. "leading/guiding the world?" she won't take an active role in it, but still resents the state of current Fodlan and wishes Sothis could restore some order (crest abuse? Or relics popping up right and left meaning more sibs dying). She wants to :
1/ guide the world and make it a better place (why complaining about the wayward Fodlan otherwise?)
2/ protect randoms who live under her protection
3/ make sure no one learns the truth about her appearance and relics at the same time.
I don't think it's possible given her current role and especially not possible on her own.
About 3/, call back to FE9 or not, but Rhea's paranoia is... Actually, not proven to be exaggerated in the game.
Ranulf was lynched in Crimea when he was discovered to be a laguz? In a certain route, Rhea's called a cruel beast due to her appearance, accused of not having "human" feelings and is depicted as a creature masquerading as a human. Hate and attack the woman all you want for things she did or might have done, but getting rid of her because she's not human? Rhea's right about not revealing her true nature, because, relics notwithstanding, humans will try to kill her for being a nabatean. Relic wise, in the DLC, we learn Aubin was recently turned in a relic, so that's even more reason to hide.
On 1/, wanting to promote peace in the land? National bias at play with rewriting history “to promote peace” issue. Rhea also built the officer's academy (if nobles from different states can live and study together surely they won't try to kill each other when they return home because they might have become friends?) and with help from the everyone in Fodlan (even the empire iirc?) built the locket to fend off Almyrian invasions. Not saying this is the best way to protect your borders but at least she tried to help instead of staying holed in her monastery.
Imo if Rhea didn't care about Fodlan, she'd have followed her bros and fortified herself in her monastery without accepting random humans to live with her, wouldn't have written a book about how everyone had to get along "unless it goes against the goddess" and wouldn't basically run what seems to be the biggest orphanage/place for the needy/and whatever is the abyss in the continent.
Not saying she doesn't have a priority, but Rhea tries to care, on her scale, about Fodlan's randoms.
About said randoms (and 2/)...
Well there's this bout with Lonato's rebellion and another herring where Rhea's all "I will destroy anyone who takes arms against the church and its believers" and it's extreme, I can’t deny. But if Lonato took arms and mounted a militia to attack Ositia's castle and its randoms? Hector'd have Armads'd Lonato without a second thought. Elincia had qualms about taking her weapons against her own countrymen who were used by Ludveck, but in the end, she took up her weapons to defend her castle, even if it meant she had to kill militiamen. Rhea's line seemed random and cold in the context, but it's the same general idea, attack her people and she will kill you. Still, if you don't take weapons against her, she won't react violently. Duke Gerth is apparently dick waving with Aubin's relic, but Shamir wasn't sent to recover the thing or to get rid of Gerth.
Ultimately Rhea blows her cover and abandons her dream to reunite with her mother to protect the monastery and its inhabitants in 3 routes (arguably in CF too). Someone once made a post about the differences between Seiros's and Edel's crowns and the symbolism of wings - the IO's wings are meant to protect. The IO is the guardian/protector. Rhea tanks missiles and buys time for the students to escape at the cost of her life.
Relationships
Rhea and Sothis? someone made a post summarizing my thoughts about their relationship, or lack of, and if we can argue Sothis was shafted by the devs like Rhea and Edel, ultimately the only important person to Sothis is Billy.
Billy doesn't warp Sothis's preexisting net of relationships, Sothis doesn't have relationships with anyone save for Billy. Rhea wants to meet her mom more than anything else (save for protecting randoms) but Sothis will never address that plot point. She only does in SS and off screen, and it ends up with Rhea wondering if she should live... so take it as you want, but to me it mustn't have been the "hug and pat on the head" kind of reunion.
Ultimately we see Rhea is able to let go of her dream (rez mom) in several routes, she understands and acknowledges Sothis will never return and Billy has her powers now, so either she dies more or less at peace knowing she can trust Billy with Fodlan's future, or she can return to Zanado and live peacefully with Catherine.
Which leads me to the Billy relationship,
As much as I hate player pandering, it makes some sense that Rhea would support Billy and not, let's say, Caspar. I still hate it though because Billy exclusive support means we were robbed of Rhea's other supports with, idk, her fam, Cyril, Catherine, Shamir, Alois, Hanneman, Manu etc etc.
In the beginning of WC, Rhea's pretty sure Billy's Sothis but without memories. Then in the non-cf chapter 12, she tells Billy they know what they are and thus must guide Fodlan, also telling Seteth Billy's a vector for sothis's powers, but not Sothis herself. In SS's finale she calls them "mother" but in her S-support finally acknowledges Billy's their own thing.
In CF Rhea's vicious in her trash talk but immediately jumps to the conclusion that Billy cannot be or hear Sothis, because, to her, logically, Sothis wouldn't side with Edel and her Agarthian allies (stealing the crest stones, Flayn, etc etc). Billy is something that stole Sothis's crest stone and sword and wants to finish what Nemesis started. I don't think CF Rhea snaps because Billy isn't Sothis, CF Rhea snaps because, again, someone is using her mother to kill her.
Rhea's also supposed to have been fond of Citrus to the point of talking to her remains (something she does with her mom) which could explain her sympathy for Billy regardless of the Sothis project.
Jeralt's a different issue, apparently they worked together for more than 100 years but Rhea never told him the truth about her nature, only about how he was saved. Still, Jeralt betrays when his baby is "weird" and unlike regular human babies so... Would he have ran away if he learnt what rhea was? Dumped Citrus if he knew she was an artificial being? Idk.
Catherine Shamir cyril and pals (Alois)? We don't know bcs the game dgaf about anyone not named Billy. As I said above, It’d have been nice to get more interactions with randoms she is working with, or at least showed some care, but nope. “Player-chan uwu” strikes again.
Seteth'n'Flayn? Rhea's close to them, she gets out of her room to look for Flayn and Cyril and Catherine note how she seems close to Seteth (who's totally her bro), but again, the game hates us. FFS don't think she has a line with Flayn!
Secrets and explosions
Tied to 3/ and 1/ from earlier, Rhea keeps a lot of secrets which could justify her lack of relationships/supports with the others... but this argument falls flat, because she’s not the only one with a secret and if Flayn doesn’t seem to care that much about hers, Seteth does and is still able to support students and staff members. Which leads to tragedies.
The Christophe incident is not well documented, and while we learn Rhea was the target of Christophe’s attempt because Western peeps told him so, it is not very well explained why she didn’t execute him on those grounds instead of falsifying charges about involvement with the Regicide. We are told it was to stabilise the Kingdom, but I still don’t know how the Kingdom would have suffered backlash if Rhea told the truth (maybe it would have led to open conflict between the western church and the central church in the kingdom, when the kingdom needed stability at that point? idk).
Still, Lonato wants revenge for Christophe, not because he was executed on false charges, but because he died ; imo, if Lonato learnt the truth, he’d still be out for Catherine and Rhea’s head.
Aelfie’s gambit is more of a direct result of Rhea’s secrecy, because she had “no words” for him about why Citrus was still in pristine condition, he gave up and tried to rez her. Would it had been different if she told him what Citrus was (and by extent, what she was)? Idk. Maybe, maybe not.
Still, Rhea doesn’t keep secrets from everyone every time - she once trusted Willy and told him about her alternate form and it exploded 1k years later, when Willy’s descendants are out for her head because she’s a creature masquerading as a human (I know mole people also played a part, but I guess it sticked more with Edel and the gang who already knew Rhea was a dragon ; trying to convince a random that “hey, this woman is a dragon !” would be more difficult). CF-wise again, Rhea trusts Billy with the SoC and, again, it explodes. In CF Rhea feels betrayed, she trusted some people and now the very same people (or their descendant in Edel’s case) are trying to kill her.
So it’s not a case of someone never trusting anyone, it’s someone trusting some people and regretting it afterwards (in both routes + CF at least, even if I firmly believe the “evil lizards ruling over the world” spiel doesn’t come from Willy, but from later emperors influenced by mole people).
There can also be a point made for Aelfie, who might have been able to merge with Citrus to create an umbral beast because he had Rhea’s blood and a crest stone shard - Citrus being a fake Nabatean and Aelfie having a crest stone + blood might have produced CS’s final boss? Rhea trusted Aelfie with a crest stone shard and her blood, and he became an umbral beast.
Interestingly, Rhea is hell bent on keeping her secrets regarding her identity, in SS Seteth has to beg her to reveal everything to Billy when Billy is the most important person in the world “uwu” or at least, the only person Rhea supposedly opened to. Even the “uwu” factor isn’t enough, on its own, to make her reveal the truth about her identity.
She gives Claude half-truths, and has to be on death’s door to tell him everything - still occulting Seteth’n’Flayn, to the point where Claude later wonders if there are other children of the goddess around.
Vengeful Rhea?
Rhea isn't a stale piece of bread like Julia. She says mean words to Nemesis but also brutally kills him. Rhea cannot forgive the Elites. I know it's very different, but Julia "dad is the kindest man I ever knew" making a 180° “i must atone for what dad did eff him” will always make me throw up - she doesn’t have to be vengeful or try to stab Seliph with a butter knife, but no acknowledgement of “dad’s the bestest” after his death, or even, of his death is meh.
To Rhea, Nemesis and the Elites are a trigger point, and everything related to Zanado. CF!Billy using her mom’s powers is like Nemesis, CF!Billy + Edel pillaging what remains of her siblings in Nemesis’n’Dudes. Flamey doing his shit with Flayn also parallels that. There’s the usual “vengeance sucks” speech to be given, but also the Tellius verse where Laguz aren’t depicted in a bad light when they want to destroy Izuka or when Tibarn learns Lekain was responsible for Serenes’s massacre.
Still, unlike Tibarn’n’pals, Rhea, unlike Macuil, doesn't seem to hold a grudge against descendants of the Elites. Maybe she had faith in them when she told them not to abuse the power of their crests, but then their descendants forgot or didn’t care and we’re in the so-called crest system.
In SS, Seteth asks the BE students if they want to return home to the Empire and how he won’t hold it against them. Seteth’s being Rhea’s right hand bro in this situation, I doubt he’d have proposed this solution without her approval.
She is vengeful and ready to pursue for more 90 years someone to kill them, but she won’t target that someone’s descendants or potential allies. I’ve read some takes about the Western Church being razed to the ground after Catherine’s paralogue, but iirc, Rhea’s only going to execute the Bishop there ; they appoint a new bishop in hopes to ease the relationships between the central and western church. There’d be no point to appoint someone to rule over a body that doesn’t exist...
Grey waves
Wave 1 : Another parallel with Edel is the will to sink in troubled waters to reach their goals.
However, Rhea stays on the surface.
Aelfie thinks Seiros failed to rez Sothis with the chalice because she didn't take more blood from the apostles. Blood rituals are creepy and gave an umbral beast. Seiros didn't pursue and sought another mean to rez Sothis without killing her bros. Rhea makes homunculi to host Sothis's soul? It fails but the homunculi isn't destroyed asap to make another one, hell, Rhea cares about them (which is all kinds of fucked up on its own).
AM wise, iirc, Seteth and Catherine say Rhea'd never forgive them if they run to save her instead of saving randoms first.
Still, making homunculus to create a vessel for her mom - making artificial lives - is problematic, she’s ashamed of it “i did questionable things” and Seteth berates her on her “questionable” experiments.
CF!Rhea eats babies during the final map. She burns the city to make her last stronghold and refuses to run away. CF!Rhea, at the end of this route, completely abandoned goal 1 2 and 3. She wants to survive, yes, but to recover Sothis, no matter how. She still seems to care about humanity, but takes everything too literally and is persuaded humanity and humans are after her to hurt her and her mother (i’m pretty sure uncle Arry was waiting with his Agarthan tech suitcase for Edel to deal with the beast in the background). Contrary to CF’s chapter 12, Endgame!Rhea doesn’t have lines when Catherine and Cyril fall. She’s still siding with humans, but she’s in this for herself now.
Of course, CF!Rhea is special, because CF!Rhea lives again through her trauma, CF!Rhea lost her home, her bro and niece a few chapters ago, she lost her human allies, apparently some peons from her church are deserting and Uncle is waiting with his portable electric saw to turn her in a shiny sword, because she trusted a corpse with Sothis’s heart and spine and trusted a human 1000 years ago with her secret. And now said corpse follows someone who rings at her door with an army, wishes to obliterate her unless she surrenders (?) and works with Uncle and his dubstep pals.
In the other routes, Billy doesn’t want to killer her with her mother’s spine and tries to defend her home, Seteth’n’Flayn aren’t forced into exile or dead and depending on the route she gets to see Uncle and his dubstep friends being buried under rubble.
Troubled waters to reach her goals also include slowing Fodlan’s technological advancements (but was it really slowing down Fodlan’s R&D’s department or cliking “no” when Mole People offer a free (for now) new technology that makes you advance from bronze age to the industrial era in one go?)
Wave 2 : Rhea’s anchored in the past, she wants to return to happier days with her mom and her family, but also wants to help randoms in Fodlan
She doesn’t seem to mind the present where humans do whatever they want, and yet will protect her people and tries (or tried since it’s history) to keep Fodlan safe.
I think the game wanted to tell us Rhea’s stuck in the past, but she also manages to form bonds (albeit fickle) in the present with Catherine, Shamir and, arguably, Cyril. Seteth’n’Flayn accept the past and try to move forward, Rhea cannot and yet is making baby steps forward, or at least to live in the present. “uwu factor” is supposed to mean Rhea’s stuck in the past and can only see Billy for what they are once she accepts to live in the present, but Rhea’s already fond of Catherine, calls Aelfie her child, was fond of Citrus and Jeralt, makes time for Cyril, etc etc. It’s not as clear cut as drinking tea with them but it’s still something that quashes the “lonely B4 U player-chan uwu”.
Rhea thinks her biggest grey wave is how she didn’t do enough for Fodlan and feels inadequate to walk in Sothis’s shoes as the guardian/protector of Fodlan - she could have done more, but she’s busy juggling with three goals, rez mom, protect fodlan, protect the fam.
I think one of her main issue (but the game was also made this way so) is to try to reach those goals alone, save for the “rez mom” goal, everyone in Fodlan, especially the heads of the three states should be concerned with keeping peace in the continent!
Lambert was BBQ’s, Riegan’s busy shitting on Gloucester and Ionius is... well, Ionius. Add to that Mole People starting up shit all around the continent and you have the recipe for a disaster. I’m not saying Lambert and Ionius should have participated to the “protect her family” goal, but at least not trying to eradicate them to turn them in relics would have been nice, sadly Ionius’s bro in law was an Agarthan.
Even if she is nearly immortal compared to a human, Rhea can’t do everything on her own. That’s why I ultimately think a SS ending is doomed to fail, Billy will try to be Rhea 2.0. and in 1000 years it will fall apart again.
AM ending? Billy will become like Rhea was post War of Heroes, but when Dimitri’s descendants start to do shit, his Kingdom disappears and humans start to return to their usual shitty selves, what will Billy do?
VW ending is kind of the same, Claude wants to open the borders and make everyone able to live regardless of their differences, but what if 940 years later an Almyrian president decides to build a wall between Fodlan and Almyra and make Fodlaneses pay for it? What is immortal Billy, who knew Claude and his ideals, going to do?
Wave 3 (lol i nearly forgot but remembered when i was rambling in the tags) : Rhea and technology !
The DLC book and Word of God said she slowed advance of technology in Fodlan to protect peace etc etc. But there’s a book where a cardinal said “eff to autopsies else people won’t rely on us with faith magic” which is... kind of weird. There’s a reason why Rhea might have approved that ban (Why does Freikugel look like a hip bone?) but it still deprived Fodlan’s randoms from the scientifical advance of autopsies... and made people reliant on faith magic.
Actually, the book goes
“Though it is widely believed that this is medically relevant, such actions upon a corpse are considered desecration of the dead. Since white magic can be used to a similar end, autopsies were deemed taboo. A notable cardinal asserted that if medical science were to excel over faith-based white magic, it would destabilize the foundation of the church “
I already pointed out the WTF between faith and white magic (Seteth doesn’t believe his mom is real so he has no faith boon) but interesting to note “desecrating the dead” is still something of an argument nowadays, not regarding autopsies but other practices like anatomical theaters etc etc. Maybe White Magic isn’t intrusive and yields the same results? idk.
Interesting to note, it’s a cardinal who edicted/justified that ban (Rhea as the head of the Church would have given her approval oc). As pointed out with the Freikugel example, Rhea’d have a personal interest in preventing humans to know more about anatomy (goal 3/). Would people stop looking to the church to be healed if “medical science” progresses too much? Maybe. From what we see in the curren Fodlan, it doesn’t.
Also, French version translated the “foundation of the church” as “stability” of the church - would the church become unstable or challenged if people could heal without using white magic? Again, we ultimately know that it doesn’t, magical science and medical science coexist, Manuela gives a short summary of the two - they have different effects.
As for things Rhea herself banned : Telescopes, Oil exploitation and Printed Press.
Telescopes were banned because Rhea thought it would increase violence during wartimes and would make it too easy to snipe from afar (TFW mages with bolting can do the same without telescopes, but they’re limited by their range and if they have a gloucester’s crest by Rhea’s sister’s femur’s range or whatever is Thyrsus). We know the mole people use (and most likely used before during the Sothis war) this technology. The “lessening the mystery of the goddess” thing is noted by Edel herself who wonders if the Goddess could really have come from space since it’s super far away. Edel doesn’t know the Goddess is an alien dragon-thing though.
Oil exploitation : “Misuse could result in accidental death” tfw random Faerghus countryman thought it was water and died :’(
Used tactically by those lacking magical abilities - like gambits? Was Rhea thinking that a random human cannot set fire to an entire city (lol) on his own with his limited spell pool/uses, but if he uses oil then he would only be limited by the quatity of oil? So it’d be easier to cause mass fires? Or whatever Robin did in FE13 with the ships and the Valmese army? Also, if Rhea thought oil could replace humans with magic, does it mean humans with magic were supposed to do everything oil can do? Like making a lamp or they still used something else as fuel? “Competition for it could cause strife” Rhea acknowledged that if humans discovered this ressource they’d deem it as essential and try to get their hands on it, even if they had to wage war?
Metal molding Printing Machine : “after careful consideration” Rhea banned it because it’d be useless for illiterate randoms - well yes, but why should this be an argument? You don’t ban something because it’s useless, look, no one banned airpods - risk of mass circulation of false information or rumors : rhea wanted to prevent redshit from existing This is a way to control information, but funnily enough in the game, we see the results or someone deliberately using manifestos spreading misinformation - risk of “increasing disparity between church branches” (fr version has “rivalry” instead of disparity) what does it mean? The central church would have more means to print books than the eastern church so the eastern church would be jealous? Or the Western Church could mass print its doctrine and have more zealots than the central or the easter church?
Ultimately, all those bans were lifted with time, Manuela performs Jeralt’s autopsy, Edel’s imperial science division managed to guess the distance between the Blue sea star and Fodlan, Oil is apparently used in several gambits, Edel’s able to send manifestos around the continent and Seteth can write children books and sell them without difficulties. Hilda can also lose books which would be a big no-no even if you are a noble if books weren’t, kind of, mass printed.
So why those bans? To protect Fodlan and the fam, but since they were lifted with time, I don’t think Rhea abandonned her goals, most likely, she thought humans were making small steps to discover those technologies, slowly learning about them so they won’t have them when they’re not “ready enough” to use them.
The “ready enough” thing sounds paternalistic or what can be expected from a more technologically advanced alien, but technically Rhea’s part alien and she lived through (or not?) an episode where humans received technology and did shit with it (mole people) so maybe she won’t hand them the car with the keys this time, and instead let them figure out how to build the car.
Still, this is HC because, as usual, the game doesn’t let us talk or question Rhea about those things, so we can only infer, read between the lines or between pixels.
****
TBH, I didn’t care a lot about her when I played, but when she had to eat babies in CF I grew more interested. Other bloggers already pointed it out, but Rhea’s a Tiki, but also a “traditional FE lord” in the sense she avenged her mom who was killed by the king of another kingdom, lived in exile and raised an army to fight against the King.
Still, Rhea didn’t end up as the leader of the world, or as the first Empress of United Fodlan, or something like that. She let Willy do his thing. Why? How? Why didn’t she became an integral part of the Empire, if she had been politically important, or a kind of seer/oracle, it would have been difficult for the Empire to go against her!
But nope, Rhea figged away in her mountains to rez her mom, sprout some “doctrine” (she could have done the same as an Emperor/Seer/Oracle) and watched over randoms who made up her “church”. She sometimes tries to intervene in Fodlan’s best interests, but it failed. Because Rhea doesn’t want to rule. She feels like she has to be a guide, but when humans don’t follow her? Well, what can she do? FE16 doesn’t show us Rhea sending her knights against the Empire when the Empire kicked out her Church and basically said “fig” to her face. FE16 doesn’t show us Rhea being angry and punching Gloucester in the face because he doesn’t show “real piety” and sprouts doctrine out of his rear.
Still, when she has to take a more hands-on approach and cannot be a distant figure/guide, she complains about maintaining a certain image as the Archbishop and how she cannot socialise with students or even walk around without Seteth randoms guarding her. She feels her mother would do a better job and tries to act as a proxy. Imo, Rhea’s bound by duty to her mom, to her sibs dead and living, and to Fodlan. She doesn’t reject her role, she accepts it, she doesn’t like it yes, but if going Gandalf in non-CF chapter 12 shows, she will fulfill it.
What’s most saddening though, is how her duty is a self-imposed one. Rez her mom? She personally took the challenge, because she misses Sothis the most and feels ashamed of this feeling to the point of not telling Seteth about it (interesting enough, Indech seems to be aware Billy’s Sothis incarnation and didn’t jump to the “Billy must be one of Nemesis’s kids with the crest of flames” conclusion, as if he knew Sothis could “incarnate” one day, but was he thinking Sothis would incarnate on her own or Rhea would trigger it? Flayn also suspects a thing about Billy being related to them because of Rhea). Rhea personally thinks she has to lead/guide Fodlan and make it a better place, ignoring the heads of the 3 states who should also be concerned with this goal. Rhea will create a false history to protect her living siblings when Macuil and Indech won’t give a fuck and live in their bestial forms somewhere, and when Seteth hides, but made it clear his only wish is to protect Flayn and the apostles, if they were really lizards, disappeared in random villages.
FE16 isn’t interested by Rhea’s story though.
That’s why I’m desperately waiting for a War of Heroes DLC or prequel of BSFE or whatever because I don’t really care about Fodlan in 1180 and who can have a perfect tea time with Billy or not.
I’d like to know why Birdie and Indech figged away, why Rhea thought letting Willy control the entire continent when he knows she’s a dragon was a good idea, why the Apostles didn’t take part in the Nemesis fight, why Fodlan’s humans decided to side with Willy in his brand new Empire instead of staying with King Nemesis, did Sothis have a previous faithful and what happened when she disappeared, were the Nabateans tyrannical rulers over humans which made some with Nemesis’n’pals, what were they supposed to do when they left Zanado, etc, etc.
So just like Julia and the baijilions AU ideas I came up with, Rhea’s a fuel for AUs because her base game dgaf about her.
#anon#replies#long reply#FE16#Rhea stuff#the julia tier#everyone hates that tier#it's when you have something interesting but you're not supposed to care about it#fuck the uwu factor ffs#burn it to oblivion#i really really hope next FE won't have an avatar#eff billy#tfw you could have Tellius' herons but Reyson's more interested in Billy than in explaining what happened in the forest#what happened in the forest will only be explained in an infodump at the end of the game#i hate it#relics? we don't care#the equivalent of AU where Julia gets her memory is AU where Rhea is playable and gets 10 chapters#i read somewhere that bar Edel'n'Hubert CF warps every character to their worst selves#Endgame CF!Rhea doesn't care about wanting to keep peace or protecting her fam she wants her mom back she litterally screams it#banana point though#depending on your PT she might not have any family left save for Birdie and Indech#i won't say rhea did nothing wrong though#but i hope i didn't forget a thing#i like her#less than hilda of course bcs Hilda is my fave#FE4!Hilda of course#give me a WoH DLC IS or even a manga at this point i'm desperate even a Seiros alt with 5 lines#Rhea parallels the 3 lords but won't talk to them#only claude could but then Nemesis rang at their door and we wasted that convo with a billy reveal like fuck idc#like 'relics were made from my family bones but also billy's not a human' and the only reaction is 'omg billy's not a human???'
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i am so curious abt your drama teacher.... do u know where the post is where you talked abt it?
it was from... a while ago, and tumblr being tumblr isn’t letting me find it. so here’s the thing with context of how it all fall apart.
like. you gotta bear in mind I heard bits of this story from about 3 different people across 7 different pubs, but I’m pretty sure this is what happened. the guy seemed alright when I was in Year 7, he was better than the other drama teacher, anyway. very very clearly wanted to work in like. actual theatre instead of the shitty comp’s drama department but I guess he took what he could get
so there’s this one family in the local area. very very rich, three daughters, all confident, conventionally attractive blonde girls who sing. this’ll become relevant later. all our school plays were musicals. so in my first year, they did Midsummer Night’s Dream with 60s music, which shouldn’t have worked as well as it did, but it banged. and blonde sister number one got her first singing role and I guess the school saw £££££ signs so she was in every single concert, play, whatever. she was a bit of a snob but not the worst
anyway the year after saw this dude, for some fucking reason, decide to do Hairspray. you know, the musical about racism, starring a fat character. the fact that the two black kids (in the school of about 800 students) were like “this is racist” and didn’t want to be part of it wasn’t a hint to him is wild to me. he represented the black characters with black wigs and dark-coloured clothes, and the white kids with blonde wigs and pastel clothes. the girl he cast as Tracy was thin and wore a fat suit and I wish I was joking. he’d gotten way more picky with who he cast as singers and upset a Lot of kids who got shafted, but blonde sister number two made her singing debut alongside her sister
the year after, they did Romeo and Juliet with hip-hop music because this guy just doesn’t know when to quit. I’ve blocked most of Year 9 from my memory tho so I don’t remember this.
Year 10, my 4th year, is where it got. interesting. as you’d expect, the upper school, the older kids, get the lead parts - particularly the drama GCSE students, for the obvious reasons. so when my year finally started GCSE, my friend Paige, who was shafted from Hairspray, and didn’t want anything to do with Romeo and Juliet, was so excited to finally get a lead part...
...bro put on Bugsy Malone and cast Year 7s and 8s (and the short kid in our year) as the main characters. Tallulah was played by a Year 9. she’s now 8 months pregnant and married a dude she met in an underpass in Bristol in a handfasting ceremony at Avebury Summer Solstice
but, anyway. this lot were fuming. blonde sister number 3 got her singing debut and blonde sister number 2 got a side part with a huge singing role
the drama teacher realised he’d pissed off our entire year and started writing a play. you could tell the dude was more and more on edge, since all of the year above mine bombed their drama GCSE. no one got higher than a low B. I don’t know who told him he could write plays, but he decided he could and wrote one called. I think it was “Go Go Go” or something? about a ginger family. and... he’d picked all the roles beforehand, he wrote them specifically for certain students. blonde sister number 2, of course, got the lead role. there was just. one thing he hadn’t counted on
blonde sister number 2 was a colossal bitch and was hated by everyone outside her own friendship group
the other students straight-up refused to participate in the play. he had to hurriedly re-cast based on whoever didn’t fucking hate her guts at this point. but while all that was going on, one of the dudes in the year above me got rejected from drama school because of his bombed GCSE, and he’s pissed. the drama teacher’s daughter went to a nearby private school (because she was too good for our school), but because this town’s just Like This, everyone knew each other. this dude sleeps with her, to get revenge on him. the drama teacher is livid. he comes back to school after the summer and my entire year got crap grades, not just the drama students. the school went into special measures and they had to tighten up how they operated
anyway the school had lost a lot of money from the play that no one went to see, the drama teacher called another teacher a cunt in front of students and that was the end of it. I saw him in the pub 5 years ago and he thought my name was Rachel and started telling me about how shit my ex was in class
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Jennikku goes off about a Sonic the Hedgehog Reboot.
If you follow me at all or have read many of my other rants, you’ll know I love Sonic the Hedgehog. A lot, with all my heart. I met my friends through Sonic and it’s a franchise that’s changed a lot in my life, for better, for worse and everything in-between. It’s the reason I started to draw, to write and to really give creativity a chance.
It’s a series that has been through many twists, turns, up and down and all arounds over the course of it’s long, 28 (as of the time of writing) year lifespan, and has stood the test of time, being heralded either as one of the best video game franchises of all time, or, well, one of the worst out there, becoming more and more dated by each passing day.
But, it didn’t start out that way. Everyone’s told the long, terrible story now about Sonic’s massive rise to the top of 1990s American Iconography and his massive plummet into the depths of Hell, dragging his now-bitter fans down with him following the turn of the century and segwaying into the modern age, so I won’t bog you with the details you already know, but here’s the main point.
Sonic the Hedgehog... kinda sucks.
And that’s because it’s a mess. An astronomically confused, tired, and beaten mess. In the 28 year lifespan of Sonic the Hedgehog, it’s canon has become massively tangled in knots. Inconsistent games, inconsistent comics, inconsistent cartoons, and so on and so forth. Anyone who’s a fan of Sonic comes from a place where they heard about Sonic, be it the games, the cartoons, the comics, and so on, and therefore, have a different mindset about what Sonic the Hedgehog should be, which is the cause for much of the heavy, almost unpleasable climate the fan community gives off.
Really? The only way I see the series being salvageable is to wipe the slate clean and begin... at least somewhat anew, and see how these scatted pieces of broken glass we call the ‘Sonic canon’ can fit together.
This has been tried once, with Sonic Boom, but it didn’t really end well, and I’d like to change that, so let’s have this hypothetical reboot take the same form as Sonic Boom, as a potential ‘new face’ for the entire series, rather than a spinoff continuity. (I feel like this was the original intention of Sonic Boom, but due to the backlash, was revoked.)
Are you comfortable? Let’s go. It’s gonna be a long-ass, tiring, winding post.
(Seriously I spent fucking 3 days just writing this post. For that reason, there may be a few gRaMatTcul eRors here and there, just bear with me, okay? I’m tired and I just wanna heave out this monster of an idea.)
Housecleaning and on wiping the slate clean
Ok, before we actually get into redoing the series, I wanna make this clear, when I say I want to ‘wipe the slate clean’, that’s sort of an exaggeration. I don’t think Sonic needs to be completely rewritten from scratch, and certain elements of the series DO work very well, so it’s more we’re gonna ‘wipe the slate clean, but immediately redraw things back on, except bigger and better than they were before.’
The reason why is, Sonic the Hedgehog has a kind of ‘hoarder complex’ when it comes to his franchise. As I established earlier, the main problem with rebooting Sonic the Hedgehog as compared to another franchise like, say, Ducktales, or Ghostbusters, is that Sonic the Hedgehog has a lot of lore. Too much lore. Think about the crazy amount of lore surrounding Solaris, Mephiles, Dark and Light Gaia, the Wisps, Chaos, and Tikal, Shadow and the Black Arms, Silver, the Sol Dimension and Blaze, Eggman Nega, the Nocturnus Clan, the list goes on and on and on. It’s head-spinning, it’s confusing, and most of all, obtrusive to what’s actually important in the Sonic Canon versus what seems important.
This isn’t helped by the fact that Sonic has never really had a consistent ground to stand on in terms of his world and where he lives because where he lives changes with every game or new thing Sonic is in. So, introducing these new, complicated gods and grand, sprawling history all of a sudden doesn’t give the world Sonic lives in any ground or any real meaning if it’s just going to be ignored later on when Sonic Forces completely rewrites the world map from Unleashed. (This is a problem I have with the Mario and Kirby series too.)
Even if you claim something like the Sonic Archie comics have consistency in their setting, think about how much the comic’s version of Mobius changed over the course of its lifespan after not only being completely rewritten (thanks Ken Penders. I’m sure your horrific 3d render children are proud.) and two crossovers, not to mention all the subtle shifts and changes the comic made from its debut comic to its cancellation.
So, if we’re going to do this, we need to get this straight right now.
A new Sonic reboot will NEED to cover EVERY base of the Sonic continuity. Games, Comics, Cartoons, Merchandising (with the exception of maybe some anniversary stuff), The Whole Echidna- er, Enchilada.
If the problem with Sonic as it is, is that the continuity is messy because it keeps adding new stuff? THEN STOP FUCKING ADDING NEW STUFF!!
NO ONE’S GONNA LIKE THE NEW STUFF ANYWAY!!
PEOPLE FUCKING HATE CHANGE!!
THIS FRANCHISE IS SO FUCKing MiSTReATED!- FUCK!!
Nah, but seriously. If this reboot is gonna work, then it needs to BE a proper reboot. Not a side-series like Sonic Boom, not an ‘alternate dimension’ to dip into for mainline games, not a one-off series of animated shorts, no quills, no pillows. If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna go all in. At least in terms of continuity.
So, you know what we’re gonna name this reboot?
Sonic the Hedgehog
Just, Sonic the Hedgehog. Yep. All in, indeed.
Audience, Tone, and Genre
I feel maybe I should’ve split these into multiple sections, but, they really all go hand-in-hand.
If we’re gonna remake Sonic, we gotta first decide how Sonic should feel, and who he’s going to appeal to. So, let’s consider what we’re working with first, based on the history of who Sonic has appealed to.
The whole point of Sonic’s young, hip, snarky personality was to appeal to the American youth of the 1990s (kids, teenagers, and young adults), the young, hip, snarky and coolest people around. Sonic sought to identify with these kids by being a little bit ‘edgier’ and ‘cooler’ than most other cartoon characters of his era, but still with the capability to be as cute, wholesome and inherently charming as his competition. Like the perfect little blend of the sarcastic wit of Bugs Bunny and the lovable personability of Mickey Mouse and Felix the Cat.
Many Sonic clones of the 1990s like Bubsy, Aero the Acrobat, and Zero the [CENSORED] Squirrel tried to piggyback off of Sonic in this manner by trying to play up Sonic’s edgy, snarky appeal, but what they lack is that more wholesome, laid back, simple, round and friendly aspects of his design. It’s why Sonic can look like this:
but also like this
like this
but also like this.
It’s why Sonic works so well as a cartoon character in animated shorts and cartoons, as well as an action character in high octane blood pumping action anime, and one of the reasons why I think his design is so appealing. It’s this, this perfect balance between cool superhero and cuddly, wholesome cartoon character that makes Sonic such the iconic character he is.
So what’s the point of me telling you that?
Well, lots of people disagree on what Sonic the Hedgehog’s tone should be, and what audience Sonic should appeal to. Many argue Sonic is a series strictly meant for children, and therefore shouldn’t take any risks and be cutesy, wholesome and bouncy. Others argue Sonic should market itself to teenagers and young adults by pushing its envelope with it’s material and turning itself into a giant melodrama with three-dimensional characters, intertwining relationships and giant, epic Dragon Ball Z style showdowns with blood, guts and the crunching of noses and teeth.
You know what’s popular right now though and seems to have been for a while? A blend of those exact two things.
It sounds dumb but, think about it. Video games and cartoons have been taking this turn toward being a little bit of the best of both worlds. Steven Universe, Undertale/Deltarune, Star Vs. The Forces of Evil, even stuff like Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, that sort of thing.
So, I think a new Sonic reboot should be an Action/Adventure-Comedy. It’s a series about long, lengthy quests and the ongoing war between nature and machine, but it’s also about a quick-witted cartoon character having fun picking on an overconfident evil scientist and his lackeys.
And you know what? I think Sonic is and has shown that this is the environment he flourishes in. Think about why Sonic Mania Adventures and Team Sonic Racing: Overdrive work so well, or why OK KO: Let’s Meet Sonic! is so great! It places Sonic and co. in an environment in which they have the opportunity to be funny and cartoony, but also leaves itself open to lead into more strict action sequences or serious, emotional moments, should it feel the need to. It lets the characters be the characters, without being impeded by everything needed to be babyproofed, but also not interrupted by fanfic-tier melodramatics every 2 and a half minutes. And, considering how much any media featuring Sonic relies on its characters to garner appeal, this is important.
Besides that, this is also important for something I think is going to make this reboot go from good to great.
: ✧･ﾟ: U N I F I C A T I O N ! :･ﾟ✧ :
I’ve said this before in my other essay on how I’d reboot Sonic, but I truly feel that bringing together a lot of different elements of Sonic’s history together for this reboot is a top-notch idea for not only bringing the series back together whilst maintaining a wide appeal but also broaden the scope of potential characters, settings, and plot points we can work with, rather than just limiting it to just the classic era, or just the modern era, it also might leave veteran fans wondering just who or what was going to show up in the next game, or next episode!
Why limit ourselves to just a classic-style series or just a modern-style series? Why not mix it up a little?
Let’s take the cute classic stuff and mix it with some of the cool modern stuff!
I mean of course there’s gonna be purists but, hey, if we have a little bit of both we might just start seeing eye to eye!
So, what does that mean for the audience? Well, I think in that sense, Sonic should be able to appeal to, about anyone, really. Adults, Kids, Teenagers, anyone. It’d be like going to see a Marvel Superhero movie in the theaters or watching Spongebob on TV, yeah, it’d be something kids enjoy, but also something young adults can appreciate too. Although if we absolutely have to stick to a demographic, I’d say the ideal targets for a Sonic the Hedgehog reboot are two groups of people specifically.
Older fans of the series who grew up with the Adventure and Classic games, and Younger people who are more familiar with the modern games. As far as drawing new people or embittered old fans in?... Well, we’ll get to that.
Plot synopsis
It may seem like a no-brainer what the plot of Sonic the Hedgehog is, right? Well, of course it is. It’s been the same for over 20 years, and, I think the premise? Is fine.
“Sonic the Hedgehog is the fastest thing alive and a protector of nature who loves adventure. He’s smarmy and mischevious, but with a heart of gold and an unshakable sense of justice with a can-do attitude. His archnemesis, Dr. Eggman, wants to take over his natural, sprawling home and begin building his planet-conquering empire in its place. It’s up to Sonic and his group of friends to defeat Dr. Eggman, and restore peace to the world, and the green back to the hills.”
This? Right here? This is Sonic the Hedgehog. No matter who you ask, from any branch of the franchises thousand-foot tall family tree, this is Sonic the Hedgehog. There’s a couple of doodads and twists here and there depending on the specific game, but that’s really honestly it when you break it all down, that’s the plot of almost every Sonic game. But this can easily get lost and bogged down between all of the God-summoning and all that shit that other Sonic media does.
So, let’s keep the focus on this, and this alone. Just the ongoing misadventures, setbacks, leaps forward, threats and triumphs between Sonic and Co. and the forces of evil.
...(But let’s add the Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald, I don’t think I can stand having a Sonic continuity without them and they make for good plot fodder, plus, I’ll be damned if I’m not seeing Super Sonic by the time a series finale or end-of-game hits.)
Setting + Background Lore
So, to set a location, let’s dumb down where Sonic actually lives. (Figuratively anyway, Sonic has no true home, just places he likes to be at any one time.)
In the Genesis days, Sonic lived on a tiny island called South Island, and the game’s settings often took place on South Island or on it’s neighboring islands Westside and Angel Island, and, given how important these old zones, like Green Hill and Chemical Plant Zone, are to the current Sonic Canon, I propose that maybe the setting for this potential reboot takes place on said islands, with one island for each of the cardinal directions on a compass, but also some of the other islands that are included in the Sonic series (as well as some adjusted ones!)
And, as a reference to the days of yore, we could even call it
The Mobius Archipelago
Each of these islands would have their own unique areas (referred to as ‘Zones’ for both nostalgia and convenience’s sake) based on the different levels from Sonic games. I’m unsure of the exact geography of these islands in question, but, you get the idea if you’re at all familiar with the canon, South Island has all the zones from Sonic 1 (16 and 8 Bit), Sonic Chaos and Sonic 2 (8-bit), Westside Island has all the zones from Sonic 2 and a couple from Sonic Mania, Angel Island has all the Zones from Sonic 3 & Knuckles, North Island is essentially a fusion of all the different Eggman Zones (Crystal Egg, Sleeping Egg, Scrap Brain, Metropolis, Eggmanland, Robotropolis, Robotnik Winter, the zones from SegaSonic the Hedgehog, etc.), Flicky’s Island has all of the zones from Sonic 3D Blast, Cocoa Island has all the zones from Tails Skypatrol and Tails Adventure, Mirage Island has all the zones from Sonic 4 and also Never Lake, and Little Planet (and hence all the zones from Sonic CD) you get the idea.
I’m unsure what exactly Eastside Island would have on it, but I figured that Sonic games have so many zones and levels across so many games, surely something would find a nice home on that island, perhaps some of the zones from Sonic Mania, Sonic Blast, maybe even the Adventure games, who knows? But, inevitably, space is going to run out on those other islands and we’ll likely have zones or locations that’ll be good for the series to have.
And then, we also have a mainland sprinkled with City. This is where your Adventure/Modern style cities are, Station Square, City Escape, that sort of thing.
It may not seem like much, considering some Sonic games have settings that span entire planets, but when you think about how many zones are crammed into a few little islands in the genesis titles alone, it’s hardly a limited setting.
The natives of this island chain would be Mobians and Mobini. Mobians are your typical Sonic characters, your Sonics, your Tailses, your Knuckleses, and so on and so forth. They’re the more humanoid animals. Mobini, on the other hand would be all of the smaller animals, the kind that Sonic frees from badniks or are just knockin about doing little woodland creature things. For more information on Mobini, I’ve included a little blip about them in the ‘Side Protagonists’ part of this little shanty ‘pitch guide’.
Humans would live on the mainland, although some researchers and scientists would visit the Archipelago every so often because of it’s mysterious ‘new frontier’ kind of appeal, even if Mobians find their research a little weird.
Generally, Humans also keep to the mainland, and Mobians keep to their islands, but, make no mistake, Mobians and Humans don’t hate each other. Some Mobians and Mobini have taken to the urban lifestyle, whereas some humans have taken to the natural wonder of the Archipelago, starting environmentally friendly cities and towns in the sleepy groves and corners of this untamed wilderness.
This Archipelago would be the point of focus for our Main Characters because, well, it’s their native home, and it’d draw our Main Villains because this island is also home to the Seven Chaos Emeralds, and their Master Emerald.
The Chaos Emeralds are the main MacGuffins of the Sonic series, and for good reason! Gathering all seven of these things grants their holder infinite access to chaos energy, a kind of force that will turn their thoughts into power, whether positive or negative. While most Mobians would prefer to leave the Chaos Emeralds alone, due to them causing, well, chaos, villains seek these gems out on purpose so that they can easier accomplish their goals. However, if a hero were to gather all seven chaos emeralds, and had enough purity, desire for good, and strength in their heart, the emeralds will grant them immense power, too.
Upon a vast amount of energy being used however, the Emeralds will scatter across the Archipelago, waiting for their next holders to come, and initiate chaos once more.
And then, there’s the Master Emerald. The Master Emerald is very similar to the Chaos Emeralds, and contains tenfold the amount of energy of a full set of Chaos Emeralds, but also acts as an on/off switch for the Chaos Emeralds. The Master Emerald can completely drain the Chaos Emeralds of their power, or multiply their power exponentially if one knows how to control it, making the Master Emerald incredibly valuable too. However, villains usually tend to opt for the Chaos Emeralds instead, not only because legends of the Master Emerald are believed to be false, or even if it is real, no one knows how to control it, but the Master Emerald is also said to have a guardian. A very, very angry guardian.
There’s also the lesser-known Time Stones.
The Time Stones reside on Little Planet, an anomalous celestial body that appears only once every year over Never Lake on Mirage Island. These stones seemed to have formed in a similar fashion to the Chaos Emeralds, but rather than bending SPACE to the will of their holders, the Time Stones will instead, bend Time. The Time Stones, for this reason, are even more dangerous than the Chaos Emeralds and are responsible for many of the temporal anomalies within the Archipelago. Due to their danger, the Time Stones see much more infrequent use than the Chaos Emeralds, and keeping them on Little Planet as opposed to bringing them to the surface of the Earth is much safer, as the Time Stones will only seemingly affect the time stream of Little Planet and not the Earth.
The Time Stones won’t matter until later in the series when Sonic and Co. start tampering with time, and for a while, the focus will remain on the Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald.
But enough about where Sonic lives, let’s look at him and the rest of our colorful main cast, shall we?
Main Protagonists
Hooh, boy I am not gonna make many friends with this decision, am I?
This is kinda where my reboot starts to get a lot little tiny bit more personal, but, I have reasoning behind picking who I pick. The characters I’d pick to be the main protagonists, as in the characters that the viewers of the cartoon series, readers of the comic, or players of the games are going to be:
A) Playing as
B) Rooting for
C) Following throughout most of the adventures.
are as follows:
Sonic the Hedgehog
Miles “Tails” Prower
Knuckles the Echidna
Amy Rose
Mighty the Armadillo
Ray the Flying Squirrel
The first two seem obvious enough, Sonic and Tails are the two spotlight protagonists of most Sonic games and are the two chief playable characters in most games of the Genesis Era. Knuckles should come as no surprise either for the same reason, although I’ll touch on Knuckles later when I assess the protagonists on an individual level.
I chose Amy as one of the leads because, well, Amy frankly hasn’t seen that much time in the sun as a true character, and I feel like that’s a shame given her longevity in the series, being with us ever since CD. Her most complex appearance was in Sonic Adventure 1 and even then, she’s kinda reduced to the same traits as her white-bread, palid, boring, Genesis counterpart. While I would like to have another female character so Amy isn’t a ‘token chick’, I don’t really want to shake up the formula too much.
Mighty and Ray are a little bit different. With the release of Sonic Mania Plus though, I feel that Mighty and Ray are more relevant now than they ever were, and considering their placement as main characters in Mania Plus, I think that we could really benefit from their addition to the main lineup of Sonic’s friends! Sure, Mighty and Ray don’t have much personality, but maybe this is where we can change that and give these lost stars a chance to sparkle as main characters after spending so long in the shadows of the past!
However, I do wanna state, that I understand if some people feel Mighty and Ray are irrelevant. I get that, really, I do. It’s one of the things in this projected reboot that I feel is much more personally appealing to me than it is ‘what I think is best for the Sonic franchise’. Put plain and simple, Mighty and Ray are just... not as popular as other Sonic characters. And, adding these two to the roster of main characters means that the main character count skyrockets from an easily manageable 4 to 6, which can seem like a bit much to some people I’ll agree, and means that they’ll likely see more screentime than other popular protagonist characters like Cream, Silver or even Blaze. But, at the same time, I also feel that if they’re popular enough to be included in Sonic Mania Plus, then there at least is some interest in the fan community of them being relevant, regular characters again. And, what better niche for them to fit into than being two of Sonic’s close friends again while going on adventures with him regularly?
(Side note, I also felt like including Sticks as a main character, and I may come back to that idea later if I end up making any content for this reboot, but as it stands I felt 7 main characters were just a bit too much, although it would’ve been cool to have a character for each Chaos Emerald, and I think there are a lot of real, genuine comedic possibilities, as well as some unique action choreography from her.)
I also don’t think Sonic’s design or the design of his friends need to be changed around too terribly much for a reboot? (Although there are some characters I think could benefit from a rework, but Sonic and MOST of the main characters are okay imo) There’s a lot of contention on Sonic’s design in any sense but, personally? I think Sonic’s designs can actually be pretty well unified, all things considered. I think Sonic could benefit from a few design ADJUSTMENTS, but maybe not a full-scale redesign like Sonic Boom.
For instance, these early concepts for Dreamcast Sonic are an excellent starting place, as I feel they capture the spirit of all three versions of Sonic pretty well all things considered, save for their quills being a little long. the proportions on them are a little off, however, with a couple of adjustments, I think this could actually be a really good idea.
Nendoroid Sonic is also pretty close to what I think a unified Sonic design could look like, if someone held a gun to my head and told me to pick an ideal new design for Sonic, it’d probably be very close to this.
(Credit to JaysonJeanChannel on DA for this render of Nendoroid Sonic.)
Or, even moving back a little bit, “Toei Sonic“, although kind of overrated in my opinion, is a really nice compromise between the cutesy, cartoony nature of the original versions of Sonic, while still updating Sonic to be more obviously sleek, sharp and spring-loaded for his modern audiences, and is full of personality. That’s not to say I think Toei Sonic should be the new face of Sonic the Hedgehog for years to come, but it’d be a great starting point to work from, given that Toei is a version of Sonic suited for intense, rubberhosy, slippery animations.
In the end, the only thing that truly matters is that Sonic looks like Sonic, and not like a weird little blue goblin if the backlash on the first pass of the Sonic Movie is any indication? We shouldn’t try to fix what isn’t broken, I just think that maybe trying out a hybrid between classic and modern Sonic to see how people feel about it might be a nice compromise between those who prefer Classic Sonic vs. those who prefer Modern or Adventure Sonic, again, unification, the best of both worlds.
That being said, let’s have a look-see into each character individually, shall we? For this, I’ll give a name, my projected voice actor for them, and a little blurb about their personality, as well as a short list of their abilities.
I’ll also try to justify my reasons for some stuff that people may consider odd after all of the character bios.
Sonic the Hedgehog:
Voice Actor: Ben Schwartz/James Arnold Taylor
Sonic is heroic, ambitious, and a complete adrenaline junkie. He'll take on any challenge that's given to him in the history of forever, even if absolutely knows it's impossible or he could get hurt trying to do it or he's absolutely not skilled enough at what he's doing to do it. Hence, Sonic is extremely competitive and gets easily absorbed in things he does, even around friends. Sonic tends to not look before he leaps as he's able to get himself out of situations so easily, preferring to live on his feet without thinking too hard about anything, although he's not dumb by any stretch of the imagination and will slow down and strategize if he absolutely needs to, and will always be willing to slow down for someone in need. Sonic is cocky, snarky, and believes a little too much in himself, he has an ego the size of the sun and will do anything he has to protect his image, especially how he views himself. Sonic also has an incredible amount of attitude and makes fun of people he doesn't like or thinks deserve it with insulting nicknames or cruel jokes, often being sarcastic and witty even at the worst of times to be. Although Sonic tries as hard as he can to keep his cool a lot of the time and prefers to live without consequences or regrets on his mind, when he's angry, sometimes he can lash out at people and can become downright completely rude when upset. Sonic is also something of a juvenile delinquent, often breaking rules just because he can or he thinks it's fun or funny, which often gets him into trouble. Sonic EXTREMELY Dislikes being called 'slow' or things being faster than he is (often wanting to prove his mettle against whatever is faster than him even if it hurts him), and has even less patience for slowing down unless he absolutely has to. He hates to wait and hates to be kept waiting, oftentimes getting bored and leaving in mere seconds if a situation doesn't matter that much to him, although he's known to show much, much more patience when people are hurt, or upset, and has an affinity for relaxing for long periods of time with friends after lengthy expeditions and adventures. Sonic hates to see innocent people cry or have their feelings hurt and will often get extremely upset at the cause depending on the person/situation, and believes that any situation he can tend to is important (as he often can do things so quickly it's often no trouble for him.)
Abilities:
Insta-Shield (Allows Sonic to deflect incoming projectiles with precise timing. This also extends Sonic’s hitbox a bit so it can inflict damage, and gives him invincibility frames!)
Wall Jump (Sonic can wall jump, but they need to be timed properly, as when Sonic lands on a wall, he’ll begin to slide, sliding down a wall for too long will cause Sonic to slip and eventually fall.)
Super Spin Dash (Sonic can rev his spin dash up much faster and much more efficiently than other characters, Sonic’s spin dash also has higher maximum propulsion, and will break walls much quicker.)
Super Peel Out
Light Dash (Using the light dash on a trail of rings will allow Sonic to pick up vast amounts of speed instantly by traveling along a trail of rings, being slingshotted out of the trail at an intense speed, the longer the trail of rings is, the faster he’ll be when he comes out of the trail, but also the more vulnerable he’ll be when he’s flung out of the trail. Sonic can also easily reclaim his fallen rings by light dashing, but there’s no guarantee you won’t go flying into the hazard you just tried to avoid when you do.)
Can use the abilities of elemental shields
Miles "Tails" Prower:
Voice Actor: Collen Villard
Tails is Sonic's closest friend. Tails is very intelligent and is something of an amateur technician, roboticist and mechanic, although he specializes in work with aircrafts, small-scale robotics, and computer systems. Frequently he prefers a much slower, methodical approach to problems as opposed to rushing into everything headfirst like Sonic does. Often relies on his intuition over instinct. Tails feels he and Sonic hold a kind of 'mutual responsibility' over each other to keep each other safe, hence Tails keeps Sonic out of trouble or from doing things that are REALLY REALLY stupid, but most of the time, Tails likes to indulge in Sonic's antics with him and even enjoys being kind of silly or being a rebel with him. Tails really looks up to Sonic and wants to have the same kind of respect, cool and wit that he does, however, in doing this, because of his low self-esteem, Tails will often ignore a lot of his more positive traits and attempt to mimic Sonic instead in an effort to seem 'cool', which can really make him do some out-of-place or seemingly strange things at times when he doesn't mean it because he can be a little shy to be himself. Tails is a firmly humble inventor and often attributes his successes to the support of others more often than his own work, and he will not ever invent anything for the purpose of competing with someone or for the sake of jealousy, believing that his best work comes from his heart.
Abilities:
Flying (This would be nerfed significantly from Sonic Mania and S3&K so Tails couldn’t just fly over everything. Tails’ gameplay should encourage exploration in more ways than just one.)
Spin Dash
Tinkering (Allows Tails to reverse conveyor belts, turn off sawblades, and do other shit to help him get through mechanical levels.)
Ring Bomb (Short range projectile at the cost of rings, explodes in a small radius)
Remote Robot (Allows Tails to explore places he can’t otherwise get to at the cost of 1 ring per second)
Knuckles the Echidna:
Voice Actor: Dan Green
The key word to Knuckles is STRESS. Knuckles is the guardian of the Master Emerald, and boy does he take his job seriously, being the very last living Mobian Echidna, and being very in-tune with his family and extended tribe's history. He has an inherent connection with the Master Emerald that allows him to sense it's location, wherever it might be, if this feeling of his is tampered with only slightly, it sends Knuckles into an incredible, panicked rage that can only be quelled by returning the gem to where he left it, or by retrieving the gemstone from whoever stole or moved it. He will only leave the emerald alone for long periods of time once he is one-hundred percent confident no one will touch it or move it (and even then he oftentimes gets worried about it anyway) and hence, interacts with Team Sonic on a more infrequent basis because of this (although he still has plenty of moments dedicated to him.) However, when not guarding the Emerald and forced to loosen up and relax, one can find that Knuckles is rather stoic and full of quote en quote 'sage-advice' (or rather stuff that seems and can be profound but can also be kind of insane ramblings from someone who spends too much time alone with some rock.) He often doesn't understand Sonic's more urban lifestyle, preferring his more traditional, simple 'off the fat of the land' kind of life, but he's surprisingly receptive to new things (unless said new thing gets the emerald stolen of course.) Knuckles is also incredibly suspicious and paranoid of people, even believing people he's close to having the capability of turning on him, and because of this, he's incredibly gullible when it comes to people 'changing' or 'turning evil' or 'wanting to take the Master Emerald', although he's usually smart enough to not fall for the same trick twice... or at least, not for a while after it happens once. Because of his ability to be tricked so easily, and because tricking him often leads to bad things, Knuckles' temper and patience are very short, and very small things easily can make him very upset. Knuckles actually has a weakness for romance, being such a lonely soul, he often gets shy and acts noticeably different (read: Happier) around people that can charm him, but often won't admit it.
Abilities:
Gliding
Climbing
Spin Dash
Burrowing (works sort of like the burrow mechanic from Sonic Adventure 1 and 2, except Knuckles can remain and move underground for a bit to be invincible, although this ability is very limited and cannot be done on metal or synthetic flooring.)
Melee Attacks (Knuckles can punch things in a short range, nuff said.)
Amy Rose:
Voice Actor: Kristen Schaal
Amy is positive, bubbly, loud and honestly kind of a silly airhead sometimes. Although at first, it seems there's very little to her, there's actually a lot more to her than her outward appearance would suggest. Amy tends to not judge people by their looks or by their behaviors, and is very open-minded and emotional, often getting choked up over things she really doesn't need to. Amy is also pretty selfless, willing to help people without any benefit to herself or any reason besides being a good person, although that's not to say she just lets people walk all over her. Amy is also something of a social butterfly, having connections with about everyone anyone else even remotely knows, and can easily tell you all about them and will want you to meet them upon even the mention of their name. Her inherent energy makes her a lot to deal with at once, even people like Sonic, Tails, and Mighty can get tired of her very quickly, even if it's very clear that she means well. She also makes for a great therapist and is willing to help anyone with problems they might be having, even if they push her away at first. However, Amy isn't all the girly girl she seems sometimes and has kind of a violent edge, anyone who pushes her around or says anything bad about her friends is gonna get walloped with her hammer, and believe me, you don't ever quite forget a feeling like being Piko'd by Amy Rose. On this note, Amy also kinda... doesn't know her own strength, and can seem stronger than Knuckles, or even Mighty at times because she just absolutely does not know her limits, expect lots of spine-crushing hugs.
Abilities:
Triple Jump (Amy can jump three times in succession, however, each jump significantly degrades in height boost. Her normal jump will go the highest and her third jump will go the lowest. Because of this ability, Amy also does not spin when she jumps, meaning she can’t defeat Badniks or damage enemies by jumping on them, she won’t take damage from bouncing on them, it just won’t destroy them.)
Hammer Smash (A mid-range melee attack that will destroy most enemies instantly.)
Hammer Spin (Both an Aerial attack to make up for the fact Amy can’t spin jump and a dash attack to make up for the fact Amy can’t spin dash.)
Peel Out (Functions similarly to the peel out in Sonic Advance or Sonic 2: Pink Edition, replaces the Spin Dash.)
Mighty the Armadillo:
Voice Actor: Beck Bennett/Travis Willingham
Mighty is one of Sonic's oldest friends and is his foil in a lot of ways. He prefers to take his time with a lot of things and doesn't really mind going slow. Mighty is something of a 'meathead', he's naive, and kinda absentminded at times, even if he doesn't mean to be. Mighty is very strong and takes incredible pride in his abilities much like Sonic. He adores his own strength and quote en quote 'manliness' and will do anything to keep his ego inflated and his muscles bigger than everyone else's' (as opposed to Knuckles who views his strength as a humble reward for his years of training). Despite this, he has a very brotherly (read: dudebro) sense of personality though and likes to call people 'bro' and 'sis', and has a habit of saying 'not cool' when things don't go right or when people wrong him. Most of the time, Mighty's slow and naive ways can make him easily influenced into believing things (like conspiracies and the idea protein powder actually does things), and he's not afraid to speak his mind, often coming off as insensitive (which is how he got kicked out of Team Chaotix), when really, he just doesn't happen to know any better, although most of the time he really does mean well. Mighty also really likes to hear himself talk, oftentimes telling long-winded stories or going on long-winded rants or explanations. He tends to butt heads with Sonic and Knuckles, who get annoyed sometimes by his easygoing, borderline dim-witted nature, oftentimes reminding him of obvious things that are happening/have happened. However, Mighty greatly cares for his friends, and the one thing he absolutely will never bend on is he will not ever hurt someone who didn't do him wrong, and despite his naivety, Mighty's incredible sense of justice always triumphs over his unassuming nature. He's also Ray's best friend and will defend Ray over any other person.
Abilities:
Natural Armor (Allows Mighty to take one free hit from spikes, and defeat spiked enemies without being harmed. If a projectile hits Mighty while he’s spinning or jumping, the projectile will bounce off of his armor. This is only while Mighty is spinning, attacks from the back or while Mighty is running will still land.)
Hammer Drop (A ‘stomp’ attack that allows Mighty to crush most Badniks instantly, and will also instantly crush breakable objects and solid blocks much faster than other characters.)
Spin Dash
Mighty Arm (If Mighty presses an action button near an enemy, monitor or breakable item, Mighty will pick it up. While picking something up, Mighty will move slower and his jump will be downgraded, but he can throw the item to deal heavy damage to whatever it hits! And, picking up certain enemies or items may just come with some surprises!)
Super Wall Jump (Mighty can wall-jump much like Sonic, but upon sticking to the wall, Mighty will hang there, and will only slide down at the player’s discretion.)
Ray the Flying Squirrel:
Voice Actor: Debi Derryberry
Ray is neat, quiet, shy, easily disturbed and has a bit of a stutter to his voice. Ray tends to be sort of asocial compared to other members of Team Sonic and prefers not to get in the way if he thinks he's being a bother. However, despite this, Ray is much smarter than he might seem and has a level of resourcefulness to a point that even trumps Tails (who is much more intelligent) at times. Despite being so shy and cowardly, when he gets the chance, Ray is more than willing to do whatever it takes for the greater good, even if he's afraid to do so. Mighty is his best friend, and he gets obsessively worried about Mighty when he's not around, often worrying that he's wandered off or might have been hurt, kidnapped, etc. this often leads to Ray trying to find his friend or panicking that he's 'gone missing', even if Mighty was right under his nose the whole time, ironic, given his intuition and incredibly eagle-eyed nature. Much like Mighty as well, Ray can also be a little bit naive, although usually less so than Mighty himself.
Abilities:
Soaring (Ray will glide and can sweep upwards to gain height at a cost of speed, but also dip downwards to gain speed at a cost of height.)
Lite-Climbing (Ray can climb, and he can climb much faster than Knuckles, but players will need to position themselves carefully, as Ray can’t climb forever, and will eventually slip and fall, the more speed Ray has when Ray collides with the wall, the faster and longer he can climb it.)
Scout-Sense (Ray is able to detect hidden items nearby like Giant Rings, 1up Monitors, and power-ups, once Ray moves close enough to an item, an exclamation point will appear above his head, and the item he notices will be outlined in yellow.)
Dismantle (With similar timing to Sonic’s insta-shield, Ray can choose to land on a badnik instead of destroying it (even if he lands on something like a Shellcracker’s claw or Bubbles when spiked out), and he will begin to unscrew the badnik until it breaks. This rewards Ray with rings or more hidden items, and can make tricky badniks like Asteron and Shellcracker more bearable to deal with! This also works on bosses, except dismantling a boss will only cause a hit of damage to the boss, although Ray can stay latched on to deal multiple hits of damage if he isn’t knocked off!)
Hookay, if you’re not winded by all those character bios, let me try to explain some of my reasoning. I won’t be doing this with later characters because this post is already the size of a fucking dump truck, but, here we go anyway.
Yes. I chose Ben Schwartz over Roger Craig Smith and Jason Griffith for Sonic. No. I don’t hate Jason Griffith or Roger Craig Smith’s voices for Sonic. Yes, I realize Ben is going to play Sonic in the Movie. I know. But, you know what? I think Ben is the perfect person to play Sonic, he’s able to inflect a real smarmy teenager vibe and I DO like that a LOT. But Ben can also play a deeper or moodier teenager too, and I feel like that’s important for Sonic’s character just as much. Jason Griffith and Roger Craig Smith make a 15-year-old sound like he’s 24. Moving on.
I think Sonic needs to not be such a prep sometimes like he is in Colors, Generations, and Forces. Like, I get that Sonic is all about doing the right thing, but, Sonic is also a smarty-pants delinquent who disrespects authority because he can. There’s this great video on the design analysis of City Escape from Sonic Adventure 2 that shows just how much of a jerk Sonic is toward people he doesn’t care for, and how he feels about obeying rules and regulations. I feel being an asshole toward people he doesn’t like, is part of Sonic’s character, it’s just we need to make him an asshole in the right direction. Sonic can be a Bugs Bunny if we let him, it’s just that it shouldn’t be completely overblown... otherwise, we get STC Sonic.
Tails needs to do more things, and not sit on the sidelines like he does in Unleashed, Colors, and Forces. He does things in Sonic Adventure and Sonic Boom, hence this version of Tails is based more on those versions OF Tails. I don’t hate Unleashed and Colors Tails, but I feel the objectively superior version of Tails comes more from Boom (who I also feel captures all of the good things about Modern Tails ANYWAY) and Adventure (which is Tails at his most resourceful, intelligent and helpful.)
Knuckles needs to be not stupid. We can make other characters stupid, but Knuckles is not stupid, Mania made Knuckles stupid and I hate that because it’s never been who Knuckles is. Sure, he’s a bit of a dense knucklehead, but he’s not dumb, just dense, which is my problem with Boom Knuckles. There’s more to his reasons for why he does things the way he does than he doesn’t know better. He’s stubborn, he’s prone to anger, he’s traditional and very much centered on the past he never had, he worries, he panics. I don’t think Boom Knuckles is a bad character, I just think making KNUCKLES the character to get this personality was kind of a bad idea.
Amy just needs a better-developed personality. Seriously, she’s, already kinda set in stone in terms of who she is, it just needs to be expanded upon. But, Amy kinda already has the groundwork laid out for her with Boom and Modern, it’s just it needs to be molded a little bit.
Mighty comes from the classic era, and he, therefore, has no real, defining personality traits besides being a wall-jumping armadillo. I think Mighty could easily inherit Boom Knux’s personality, (as I feel a character named ‘Mighty’ would have kind of a strongman, meathead personality) but maybe changed up a bit. Instead of being just, dumb, I think Mighty being more oblivious than just stupid is better, plus, at any one time, most of the characters in-game or onscreen are able to deduce what’s going on instantly, having Mighty be a contrast to that is interesting. I also think a slow, easygoing lifestyle is kinda befitting to the Mighty we’ve seen recently, given that he doesn’t seem to emote all that much when Ray finally finds him after he’s been missing for, well, a good while, and doesn’t seem to know his own strength all the time. The only other information I know about Mighty is that he doesn’t like to fight all that much and he’s similar to Sonic, so I tried to include aspects of Sonic in his personality, but also make him kind where he can be.
If Ray’s SegaSonic sprites are anything to go by, Ray just might be a little bit of a scaredy-cat. And, I think this would make for an interesting dynamic between Ray and the rest of the team, he’d make a nice Luigi to everyone’s Mario, a character who is afraid, but willing to set aside his fears for the greater good and even for himself. He’d also be #relatable to the stressed-out teenage and young adult audience he’d be appealing to.
Side Protagonists
Here are my choices for side-protagonists in this reboot. These are ‘friendly characters’, characters that the main 6 characters regularly interact with, but are just not focused on as much. These characters would probably not be playable (except for Silver and Blaze MAYBE.)
The Mobini
Espio the Chameleon
Charmy Bee
Vector the Crocodile
Cream the Rabbit (and Cheese the Chao)
Big the Cat (and Froggy)
Silver the Hedgehog
Blaze the Cat
Now, I know what you’re thinking.
wHerE’s TeaM DaRK?!
Just, chill out..., okay? I’ll get to Team Dark in a minute.
I’d also like to clarify if this became a series, Silver and Blaze are probably not going to become relevant characters until much LATER in? I feel like Silver and Blaze should be saved for a very specific time in the reboot’s continuity and I’ll explain that later when we get into how I’d set this series’s continuity up, but there’s a very specific reason why I want to save Silver and Blaze for when the time is right, not because I hate Silver and Blaze, but because I think it’d make the most sense.
I also feel like the Chaotix should appear a lot more and play more of an active role in this new hypothetical reboot than they do in most modern Sonic games... and let’s make them a team of vigilantes instead of detectives. A team of vigilantes that uses TEAMWORK!... And combi-rings!
...Oh and while we’re here, let’s make Cheese a Hero Chao, mkay?
But enough talk about general things! Let’s dive into each of them individually!
The Mobini:
Voice Actor: Various, it’s likely mobini won’t need voices so much as varying sound effects.
The Mobini are the local, native, feral fauna of the world of this new Sonic reboot, all your normal birds, insects, lizards, fish, mammals, et cetera are all Mobini. Mobini, are mysterious creatures, as they harbor an inherent connection to the Chaos Emeralds, and are believed to contain small fractions of the Emeralds’ infinite energy. The Mobini are what first drew Dr. Eggman to the Archipelago in which South Island resides, as with this small portion of infinite energy within them, they can be used as organic batteries to power machines indefinitely!... Although this makes them very unhappy. Contrary to what you may think, Mobini are actually sentient, and remember friendly faces... and unfriendly ones too, so be kind! If you’re ever in trouble or lost in the sprawling forests of the Mobius Archipelago, Mobini may just be able to help you out. The most curious kind of Mobini are Flickies, small little birds native to Flicky’s Island and South Island (although they’ve seemed to branch out more recently), who are said to have an even closer connection to the Emeralds, and can even hold a super form! The phenomenon of Super Flickies is incredibly rare, but when it happens, Super Flickies will be more than willing to lend their power to someone who needs it.
Chao are a special type of genetically unstable Mobini that have no ‘Earthly’ counterpart. From the time a Chao is born to the time they pass away, a Chao will gain the traits of its parent, it’s friends, and or it’s caregiver. This makes Chao ideal pets, as their personality will adapt to suit their owner, this makes Chao not only incredibly diverse but surprisingly intelligent. Just be kind to Chao... you don’t want to know what kind of horror being unkind to these little creatures can lead to.
Espio the Chameleon:
Voice Actor: Phil LaMarr
The de-facto leader of the Chaotix, and the most responsible of the team, Espio is a lot quieter than most of the main cast, and much prefers the sound of a rushing, serene stream over loud, punchy rock music. With a powerful, free-flowing fighting style inspired by martial arts, Espio is an honorable fighter, believing only in fighting fair and straight and without exploiting an opponent’s extreme weaknesses. While he tends to be sort of reclusive and becomes easily annoyed by the antics of the Chaotix and Team Sonic, he’s a lot more unshakable than he looks, and actually kind of likes the excitement from time to time. He also has a long, sticky tongue which he happens to be embarrassed by, but sees more use as a tool than he’d like to admit. Espio will often dictate his mood or state of mind to people by changing his color.
Espio’s weapons of choice are giant shuriken, which he seems to be able to pull out of hammerspace.
Abilities:
Color changing
Partial Invisibility (Espio can cloak himself to appear invisible, as long as he stands still and isn’t connected to anything. This ability sees more frequent use when Espio is alone, as it doesn’t really apply much when he fights with his team.)
Combi-Ring Fighting Style
Tornado Spin (Similar to Sonic’s Spin Dash, except Espio spins horizontally instead of vertically, the tornado spin is very slow compared to the Spin Dash, but it’s just as deadly.)
Tongue (Much like Yoshi, Espio’s tongue can be used to grapple onto things with a surprising amount of force, either to pull them toward Espio, or Espio can ‘tongue punch’ things. He hates to do this.)
Charmy Bee:
Voice Actor: Sam Lavagnino (Ideally anyway, I understand if he’d be unable to, but imagine it! Catbug as Charmy Bee!)
A ‘junior member’ of the Chaotix, Charmy is a little bee in training to become a vigilante! However, he’s a little too excited about that fact sometimes. He’s meant to be cute and lovable, but also a realistic child fighting against things he probably shouldn’t be fighting against. It’s hard to hate him when he means so well though and tries his very best at anything he does. In this new reboot, Charmy also gains a small affliction toward electricity!
Abilities:
Flight (no duh.)
Combi-Ring Fighting Style (Charmy is surprisingly adept at carrying his fellow Chaotix members around with a Combi-Ring in hand, with Charmy around this can make for some high-octane, high-momentum fighting due to Charmy being so lightweight and quick.)
Volt Sting (Charmy can use his stinger, and believe me, it hurts. Fortunately, Charmy can sting more than once! and his sting will deliver an electric shock to anything it touches, this is bad news for anything mechanical, or wet!)
Thunder Shoot (Charmy can instantly ground any flying enemy by electrifying an ally and tossing them at the flying enemy!)
Vector the Crocodile:
Voice Actor: Keith Silverstein (Although I’m open to someone else if everyone else if sick of FIND THE COMPUTER ROOM!)
The Chaotix’s greedy, but fiercely defensive ‘leader’ (he’s able to make tough decisions a lot better than Espio, but he isn’t very responsible in many ways). Vector got into the whole vigilante business because of the money he could gain from it, but after meeting Charmy and Espio, his whole world changed, and the rough-and-tough reptile has found a new calling, being a leader. Although Vector is often harsh, blunt, and dismissive, he’s also incredibly resourceful and has an eye for small details, so if he does push you away, it’s likely because he has a hunch on something related to it.
Abilities:
Air Dash (Vector can dash in any direction while in the air. This does not protect him from harm.)
Death Roll (Vector’s trademark donut-like Spin Dash, it’s a bit less controllable than a traditional Spin Dash but it’s immensely powerful because of Vector’s spiked back.)
Combi-Ring Fighting Style (Vector specializes in a ‘wrecking ball’ sort of display with his fighting style, performing a Death Roll followed by his opponents flinging him into something by way of Thunder Shoot or Espio’s speed.) Vector can also achieve the same effect by flinging Charmy or Espio into an opponent, or by ‘holding’ (think Knuckles Chaotix) them.
Fire Combination + Volcanic Dunk* (While Espio is tornado spinning and Charmy is spinning as well, Vector can grab the both of them to make ‘fighting gloves’ of sorts. With this, Vector can perform the Volcanic Dunk, in which he turns Espio and Charmy into powerful fireballs which can smash into enemies to deal tremendous damage!)
*Yes I know this is what Team Sonic uses in Sonic Heroes but do you honestly want Vector Breath to be something that’s regularly used?
Cream the Rabbit (and Cheese the Chao):
Voice Actor: Michelle Ruff (I’d list a voice actor for Cheese too but... do I HAVE to? Chao can be easily voiced with stock squeaks or Chao sounds from SA2.)
A pleasant little girl who seems to get caught up in the ongoing war between Sonic and the forces of evil. Like Charmy, she’s a kid, although Cream is much more patient and polite than Charmy. Cream in this reboot would sorta fill the niche that Tails filled in SatAM, rarely going on adventures, but looking up to the main cast and always being ready to support them in times of need.
Abilities:
Flapping (Cream can flap her ears to gain a little extra height, although it’s made very clear this isn’t exactly equal to Tails’ flight and is very limited.)
Cheese (Cream can sic Cheese on anything she wants, although Cheese isn’t very tough, he’ll do his best until he’s knocked away!)
Big the Cat (and Froggy):
Voice Actor: Jon St. John
Big is large, and not very bright, even less so than Mighty. But he’s terrifyingly strong, he may just be one of the strongest characters in this new reboot in terms of raw damage output, probably second only to Omega actually. But, Big’s not a fighter and prefers to spend his days by the lakeside, fishing with his companion Froggy.
Unbeknownst to him, though, Froggy harbors a dark secret, and, in fact, is the current owner of the tail of the ancient God of Destruction, Chaos. How Froggy exactly came upon Chaos’ tail is unknown, but it’s gotten Big and Froggy into trouble before.
Abilities:
Super Strength
Fishing Sense (Big can sense what kind of fish or how many fish, or even foreign objects or other animals are in bodies of water. It’s unknown how he does or knows this, but he does.)
Silver the Hedgehog:
Voice Actor: Scott Menville
Silver is from an alternate future, a long-forgotten timeline in which Robotnik succeeded in conquering the world, But his massive cities and factories were later laid waste to by the sands of time, and ancient forces of nature, throwing the future Silver resides within into complete Crisis. And now, filled with a sense of vengeance and justice, Silver has come back to the past, determined to find the one responsible for whoever did this to his future, but... there’s just a couple problems.
He’s only fourteen years old.
Silver is also rather bright-eyed and gullible, and him messing with the streams of time might have a bigger domino effect than he realizes, even if he has no intention of messing anything up.
Abilities:
Psychokinesis (Silver can move, and throw objects with his mind. Silver’s telekinesis is limited only by his focus and stress, as if Silver gets too stressed, he may release some of the objects he’s holding, the same goes for if he becomes unfocused. Using said telekinesis can make Silver very physically exhausted though, especially if Silver moves HIMSELF with his mind, which he can do to hover in the air for a while. Objects held by Silver will freeze, suspended in whatever state they were in when Silver grabbed them, and the objects Silver holds are denoted by a cyan aura.)
Psychic Knives (Silver can condense his energy into crescent-shaped blades of energy, which he can fire off at his discretion, again, only limited by his physical exhaustion)
Teleportation (Silver has the limited ability to teleport short distances, although he doesn’t seem to have a very good handle on it, as he often messes up his positioning and seems to almost... forget he can do it?)
Blaze the Cat:
Voice Actor: Tara Strong
Like Silver, Blaze is from an alternate future. Blaze is Silver’s best friend, but also kind of a sisterly figure to him. Blaze is older than Silver, and is much more reserved, mature and wary than Silver is, although she’s still more than happy to help Silver, and ensure a good future for both him and herself. Blaze is proud, trying to make the best out of her situation by trying and believing herself to be the best around, in a way, she sort of views Silver more like a sidekick, even if Silver does tend to pull his weight.
Abilities:
Pyrokinesis (Blaze can summon, control and is immune to fire. Her ability to do so is limited, although her fires are known to become more intense whenever Blaze is enraged. Blaze can use her fire either for offense by spraying jets of flame from her hands, or defensively by cloaking her entire body in flame, or using the power of fire to float for short periods of time.)
Tornado Spin (Like Espio, Blaze tends to spin horizontally rather than vertical, this, combined with her pyrokinesis, makes her incredibly fearsome to deal with.)
Main Antagonists
You know what the fuck’s going on already. These are all my picks for Major Villains in the reboot. The big bads. The guys who are gonna come in and try to take all those Chaos Emeralds and Time Stones and shit I was talking about and wreak havoc on the peaceful Mobius Archipelago.
They are as follows:
Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik
Orbot and Cubot
Metal Sonic
Heavy King (And the Hard-Boiled Heavies)
Great Battle Bird Kukku XV
Chaos
Emerl
Mephiles, Iblis, and Solaris
In the end, it was hard to decide on what villains to choose to be big bads, Sonic has so many good ones, but this is what it all bled down to eventually. I feel kinda like Dragon Ball Z or... like, any fucking action anime or cartoon ever tbh. I wanted to give some more underrated villains a chance to shine like Kukku and Emerl, while also bringing back some old favorites like Chaos and Mephiles.
...ALSO, I’M GONNA GET TO TEAM DARK DON’T WORRY!
Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik:
Voice Actor: Mike Pollock (as if there were any other choice.)
Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik is the biggest bad in this reboot, as he should be. Robotnik was formerly a young, gentleman scientist, who arrived on South Island with his colleague, Dr. Madonna to study the Mobini that lived there, however, using the grant money meant for his research, and not much caring about nature himself, Robotnik instead betrayed Dr. Madonna to begin forging an empire with his own two hands, an Empire he believed would eventually be able to conquer the world. And he would’ve gotten away with it, too... if all not for a meddlesome blue hedgehog child, who REALLY liked to compare the doctor to an egg. Since his first outing against the blue blur, Dr. Robotnik tried tirelessly, day and night, to get his empire up and into the air, coming back with bigger, and better firepower each time, even succeeding in conquering South Island and collecting six of the seven chaos emeralds at one point, but he was thwarted by this blue hedgehog, and later, his friends each time. This war has gone on for over 5 years now chronologically and maybe more in the actual scheme of things, and all those years of trying have really quite nipped at the doctor, who had gained a significant amount of weight, became a social pariah and had torn all his hair out, save for his mustache, which has overgrown and has become frayed, and the doctor had taken the name ‘Eggman’ as a shallow attempt to mock the blue blur. It’s not to say that Eggman hasn’t succeeded, his conquest and lust for power had bled everywhere, his Badniks, a series of small robots built by him, are an epidemic across the archipelago, he has factories, operations, and eyes everywhere, and Robotnik eventually succeeded in taking one of the Archipelago's many islands for his own, renaming what was once ‘North Island’ into ‘Eggmanland’, this little island is only a twisted glimpse into the madness of what a world under the doctor’s control could look like, his own personal carnival of evil, smog and dust, celebrating him, and only him. It’s these little successes, as well as his never-ending stubbornness and undying believe that man can and will always triumph over nature, that has warped Dr. Eggman from a nefarious, dashing gentleman, into a balding, crazed, nasty old coot. If trouble’s brewing on the islands, and you smell smog wafting by, you can be assured Dr. Eggman isn’t very far behind. To call him a ‘mad scientist’ is an understatement, but even through his delusions and megalomania, he really is a genius.
Orbot and Cubot:
Voice Actors: Kirk Thornton, Wally Wingert
Orbot and Cubot are the Doctor’s trusted aides and second-in-lines, and... probably the Doctor’s only friends as of current. Orbot and Cubot have special AI hand-crafted by the doctor and are arguably his most advanced and most sentient creations crafted by his own two hands. Orbot is serious, intelligent, and bitingly sarcastic, as he was meant to relay information about factories, schemes, and developments back to Eggman, whereas Cubot is dim-witted, slow, and lazy, as he was more meant to perform basic duties like keeping Robotnik’s living space neat and tidy (although he doesn’t always do the best job at this.) However, Orbot and Cubot have become more than that as time has gone on. Unlike the Modern games, Orbot and Cubot can actually hold their own in combat... well, sort of. They have their own unique ‘Scratch and Grounder’ style of dealing with Sonic and Co. and they don’t usually make much progress or get much done in this regard. In this reboot I want Orbot and Cubot’s designs to be updated besides being just ‘ball’ and ‘cube’ so that they can fight alongside Eggman and just look a lot more interesting in general.
Metal Sonic:
Voice Actor: Ben Schwartz (with an intense, robotic filter) if we HAVE to give him a voice. I’d really just prefer Metal to be silent or voiced by music cues and sound effects.
Metal Sonic is Dr. Eggman’s greatest creation. Designed and built by a Dr. Eggman from the future, Metal was sent back in time to aid the Eggman of the past, this, however, proved to be a mistake, as with Metal under his belt, the Doctor became easily overconfident in his victory, thinking now that he had his supposed greatest creation to aid him, nothing could possibly stop him.
Which made it all the more disappointing when Metal Sonic inevitably failed and was defeated by Sonic.
However, that wasn’t the end of it for Metal Sonic, after being recovered from the future on Little Planet, Metal was repaired, and sent to do reconnaissance on Sonic and Tails during their visit to Mirage Island. In the process of getting there, however, Metal absorbed an artifact while patrolling around the Lost Labyrinth Zone, which superseded the limits of Metal’s hardware, and not only restored Metal to his former greatness but gave Metal something that few of Eggman’s creations can ever claim to have. True sentience.
Now fully aware of who he was, and what he was doing, Metal easily made it to Sonic and Tails, and upon seeing his organic counterpart for the first time in so long ever since their duel on Stardust Speedway, Metal was filled with rage. Rage, unlike anything The Mobius Archepeligo had ever seen.
The artifact has given Metal all sorts of mysterious abilities, like the ability to manifest a near-indestructible shield, the power to harness the electricity flowing through his circuits to send himself into overdrive and utilize his own overloading as a weapon, and along with being a creation of a Dr. Eggman who has seen the fall of the Earth...
Who knows what kind of sadistic, inhuman thoughts lie behind those synthetic, glowing eyes?
Abilities:
Hyperspeed Thrusters (Metal’s thrusters easily make him as fast as Sonic, and, like Sonic, Metal can still spin, although Metal can also fly with his thrusters.)
Black Shield (Metal can form a defense matrix around him using the power of the artifact he absorbed in Lost Labyrinth, the Black Shield is completely indestructible. Nothing can break through it. Not even something as powerful as Super Sonic could even crack it.) The only caveat is, using the Black Shield renders Metal completely immobile, and unable to attack, and it has a slight warmup and cooldown period.)
Overdrive (Metal can use the artifact he absorbed to utilize the electricity flowing through his circuits to send himself into Overdrive. While in overdrive, Metal Sonic’s entire body sparks with electricity, and Metal can manipulate how he uses that electricity, whether it’s to cloak himself in sparks to beef up his physical attacks or create pillars of sparks and arcs of electricity to attack foes from a distance. The only thing is, Metal cannot do this too much, as doing this can easily cause Metal to overheat, or completely overload and have a ‘blowout’... in other words, explode.)
Heavy King:
Voice Actor: Jim Cummings (Yes, I know Jim did SATAM Robotnik but that’s not the voice I’m imagining for Heavy King. Jim can do more than just Robotnik you know, even though my decision was partially influenced by it being a nice callback. Again, these voice actors are only projections.)/Barry Humphries
Heavy King used to be EggRobo, a robot (which later became a line of Robots) built in the image of Dr. Eggman himself and meant to serve as a decoy for him, and as a stand-in to carry out his own ends.
But the energy of the Phantom Ruby changed that.
Now, Heavy King is the leader of an elite squadron of his EggRobo brethren known as the Hard-Boiled Heavies. They used to serve Robotnik, before breaking free of his control and serving their own ends, beginning a new (albeit, much, much smaller) empire under their own names. He and the other heavies are a force to be reckoned with, few are able to match the ruthless, cold, metallic hand of Heavy King. Despite this, however, Heavy King is known to be much more diplomatic and reasonable than Robotnik, ironically enough, because he believes himself to be vastly superior in every way to organic life. However, his inflated ego pays a steep price if you catch him at the wrong time. However, Heavy King is the current holder of the Phantom Ruby, and that alone should scare you.
(Also I won’t go over each of the Heavies individually because I don’t feel like it, but, I will list their voice actors.)
Heavy Gunner: Patrick Warburton... or at least a cheap impression of him.
Heavy Rider: Eliza Schneider
Heavy Magician: Alexia Khadime
Heavy Shinobi: Seth Green (I picture Shinobi having much more of a nerdy weeb voice than having a serious Japanese accent like Espio.)
Great Battle Bird Kukku XV
Voice Actor: Tom Kenny
A lesser-known big bad, or rather, big bird, Great Battle Bird Kukku XV (he gets upset if you don’t say the full name), is the leader of the Battle Bird Empire, a battalion of birds who, at one point, sought to take over the archipelago in a similar manner to Dr. Eggman, however, Great Kukku XV was thwarted by Tails. Tails, funnily enough, doesn’t remember him at all, in fact, no one does. As a villain, hardly anyone takes Great Kukku XV very seriously, even with his massive armies and capability. Fact is, Great Kukku XV is just a little too immature to be a leader, and hence, he’s not very dangerous. However, his battalion did give rise to a certain, screwy, trigger happy, fellow green bomb-throwing bird who happens to be a defector of his...
In this reboot, there would probably be a lot of jokes about people not knowing who Great Kukku even is, or how dangerous he is, but don’t worry, he’ll get his time in the sun eventually.
Chaos
Voice Actor: N/A, Chaos only speaks in water sloshes.
Chaos is one of the many original forces of nature that populated the Archipelago many years ago. Legend has it that Chaos was responsible for the mass extinction of the Echidna on Angel Island, and was the one responsible for flooding Hydrocity Zone, and the former Hidden Palace Zone. Chaos was formed when a Chao, who happened to be very old and unhappy due to the Echidna tribes of the day treating his people very unfairly, mutated due to the exposure of Chaos Energy to the Chao’s genetically unstable body. Chaos is a being of pure hate and pure destruction. It’s almost entirely composed of a thick, water-like substance that can take on liquid or solid properties at Chaos’ discretion. His body hungers for Chaos Energy, and he is willing to destroy anything that stands in his way to have it, specifically by absorbing the Chaos Emerald. With each emerald Chaos absorbs, Chaos only becomes bigger, and stronger, becoming harder and harder to defeat. And if Chaos gathers all Seven of the Emeralds? You’d better hope you can find some way to calm this Great Old One down, otherwise, your world may just end up underwater. Luckily, Chaos was sealed inside of the Master Emerald by its former guardian, Tikal, and there he shall remain... for now, at least.
Emerl
Voice Actor: Various (copies the voices of others. To speak it splices lines that it’s heard together.)
Originally created directly to counter Chaos whilst the Echidna tribes were facing extinction, Emerl is a Gizoid, a kind of Robot created to copy the physical data of others. Although one can initially defeat Emerl pretty easily, it’s advised not to vary your tactics too much, as Emerl’s original purpose, and his ultimate capability, is to copy any behavior he’s seen, in order to not only replicate it, but replicate it better, and hence, conquer its original user. Terrifyingly, Emerl can even copy phenomenon that he otherwise wouldn’t, or shouldn’t be able to use, such as Chaos Control, Sonic’s Maximum Speed, or Tails’ intellect. The only thing truly limiting Emerl... is the kind of opponents he faces. And, if you give Emerl to someone who understands him and knows how he works, you may just be dealing with one of the most fearsome fighters the Mobius Archepeligo has ever known.
Mephiles, Iblis and Solaris
Voice Actor: Dan Green (Mephiles only) (This is just because Dan also voices Knuckles ideally but, again, if Dan doesn’t wanna come back to Sonic after being replaced, I understand that.)
If Chaos was the patron saint of water, Solaris is the patron saint of fire. Born from a sacred flame created by the Echidna, Solaris was worshipped by the surviving Echidna as a force that could potentially vanquish Chaos, as the ‘’sun’ to dry the rain. However, the tribes’ malicious intents caused their newly formed ‘God’ to become more of a beast, and it only helped Chaos in driving the Echidna extinct. Solaris later retreated to the bottom of the ocean after all was said and done, slumbering beneath the surface in an underground cave, in a damaged, unstable state.
Solaris has re-awoken twice since this has happened, and both times, his unstable shell split and formed two halves, it’s raw power, known as Iblis, and it’s mind, and spirit, known as Mephiles. The two halves of Solaris first re-awoke in an Alternate Timeline where Robotnik had conquered the world, re-awakening as the folly of the dictator had driven the Sun God’s split soul to awaken when the intense greenhouse heat began to boil the ocean. Mephiles’ primordial form simply died off in the intense heat, but Iblis remained awake, laying waste to the already horrible wasteland that was Robotnik’s Bad Future. Many survivors who reside within this future came to blame Iblis for their problems, even though Robotnik was what had destroyed it centuries earlier.
As for the other time The soul and body of Solaris re-awoke?...
Well... we’ll get to that. Let’s come back to someone I’m sure you’re all waiting for.
Antiheroes
HERE HE IS, OKAY? YOU HAPPY? I was saving him for a good reason! I actually want Shadow (and Rouge, to an extent, she kinda keeps her evil side tbh) to start out as a big bad! After Shadow’s done BEING a big bad though, he’ll become similar to his post-adventure 2 self, specifically how he behaves in Sonic 06 and Sonic Heroes, except with a bit more sympathy. Modern Shadow has a lot of brooding, edgy bite to him, and while that’s cool and all, I feel like there should be more to Shadow than just brooding and standing around crossing his arms and saying ‘tch’ all the time.
Shadow the Hedgehog
Shadow the Hedgehog:
Voice Actor: Anyone that’s not Kirk Thornton. I actually don’t have a good answer for who Shadow’s voice actor should be but, honestly, anything would be better than his current one in my honest opinion.
Shadow was synthesized fifty years ago on a small, man-made satellite called the Space Colony ARK by the brilliant scientist Dr. Gerald Robotnik. He was born from a desire to find a cure for the seemingly incurable disease for his granddaughter, Maria. However, due to an accident when splicing the genes of the quill of a Mobian Hedgehog, and experimental biomaterial found on the fragments of an asteroid that collided with the Earth millions of years ago, the doctor accidentally created something he absolutely didn’t intend, Life. And thus, Project Shadow was born. Gerald felt attached to his creation, viewing the resulting creation, which he called ‘Shadow’ as one of his own. Shadow developed rapidly, quickly maturing into an infant, and then juvenile, yet seemingly normal Mobian Hedgehog. Shadow’s equivalent age later capped once Shadow was done growing, and he remained that way, immortally perfect. The Ultimate Lifeform. Tests with Shadow later showed his destructive capabilities, as it seemed the asteroid’s DNA had morphed Shadow to be far beyond the capabilities of any normal Hedgehog, even in peak physical condition at that age, capable of creating explosions, firing bolts of energy, and even freezing time, appearing to ‘teleport’ in the process. Despite these curiosities, Shadow grew fond of Maria in his stay at the ARK, although Shadow couldn’t help her recover, he did make her much happier. However, a raid on the Space Colony by the mainland’s military led to a massive capsizing of the project, with the intention to destroy Shadow, who was viewed as a dangerous, alien, unholy abomination. Before he could be killed though, Maria shot Shadow down to Earth in an escape pod, where he subsequently landed deep in the jungles of Cocoa Island... but, Maria was murdered in the process of doing so. Shadow was later recovered by Gerald’s other grandson, Ivo Robotnik, 50 years after the tragedy. Hesitant to release Shadow immediately, it’s known that Robotnik has spoken to Shadow in his pod, although about what matters is unknown. For now, Shadow slumbers deep within the confines of Eggmanland, waiting for his proper, strategic time to be unleashed and to wreak his horrible vengeance upon the Earth.
I’ll bring up Shadow again later when we talk about how I project the series to actually go, for now, just sit tight and let’s talk about the rest of Team Dark... and some familiar faces.
Abilities:
Spin Dash
Homing Attack (Shadow can automatically home in on opponents while also performing an Air Dash.)
Burning Rollout (Inspired by the flame ring of Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow can cloak his spinning form in fire by turning on his shoes when rolling, doing this will significantly up the strength of his spin, and make a nice little ring of fire around his spinning form.)
Chaos Control (Can be used as short-distance teleportation, as a way to buff Shadow’s speed immensely, or as a way to freeze or dramatically slow Shadow’s relative perspective of time by dramatically increasing his speed.)
Chaos Spear (These are green bolts of pure, chaos energy. The energy used to form these bolts is so unstable that once hurled at something, the ‘spear’ will likely explode, although, if it doesn’t, it will easily pierce through whatever it hits. Shadow likes to shout ‘DISAPPEAR!’ before hurling these at things for some reason.)
Chaos Blast (Shadow’s Chaos Blast can be considered his ‘ultimate’ attack, Chaos Blast sees Shadow creating a kind of ‘mini-singularity’ with chaos energy that will detonate after a short time, easily eradicating anything caught in the explosion’s radius, even the ground around Shadow. The only problem with this is, doing this is a huge strain on Shadow’s natural supply of Chaos Energy, so a lengthy cooldown period is inevitable.)
and of course, we can’t forget
The Roundhouse Kick
Minor Antagonists
These are characters who are villains but are also more likely to show up in arcs that are only a couple episodes long or are side or off-boss fights.
I’ll be honest, most of you know these characters already, so I’m just gonna run through them super quickly and give my suggested changes and my justifications for them.
Rouge the Bat
E-123 OMEGA
Dave the Intern
Fang the Sniper (Nack the Weasel)
Bean the Dynamite
Bark the Polar Bear
Rouge the Bat:
Voice Actor: Karen Strassman
Rouge is a thief and a treasure hunter but is also working for the military agency of the mainland, G.U.N. Rouge is sly, sneaky and has a silver tongue, easily able to manipulate people into what she wants by pure wordplay alone. Rouge is a lot less active of a fighter than Sonic and Co. as she prefers to stalk quietly in the shadows, and strike when the time is right. In this reboot, Rouge is gonna wear something a bit more modest. I’m sorry, I hate Rouges’ clothes in canon. That fucking catsuit? has gotta go. She can still look cool and... *gag* “”sexy”” but, I’d rather her not wear... THAT? But, I do want her personality to remain mostly intact because in full honesty? She’s not a bad character on paper. Like Shadow, though I do kinda want Rouge to be a straight-up antagonist at first, and a very greedy one at that.
E-123 OMEGA:
Voice Actor: Vic Mignogna
What can I say? Omega doesn’t need to change much at all, really. He works in about any Sonic setting tbh. He’s loud, and he likes to blow things up, and he doesn’t emote very well, what else is there? In this reboot though, Omega will be the only E-Series Robot, or rather the only... surviving one. And, yeah, like Rouge and Shadow too, I think Omega should start out as an antagonist.
Dave the Intern:
Voice Actor: Ben Schwartz (What? We gotta keep up the tradition of Dave sharing a voice with Sonic!)
An odd choice for a minor antagonist I know, but Dave the Intern is REALLY funny? And I love the idea of a character just hating Sonic for no discernable reason other than ‘he’s popular and cool and I’m not.’ I also thought it’d be cool if Dave frequently got way in over his head with the shit he does, and put himself into trouble that Sonic (reluctantly) had to get him out of. Plus, I really wanted to include some representation of Sonic Boom in this reboot because Sonic Boom as a show is really funny and really good, and I think taking a page from it might be good, plus, Boom is a part of Sonic’s history too!
Fang the Sniper (Nack the Weasel):
Voice Actor: Dwight Schultz
Fang is the leader of Team Hooligan, and in a similar vein to Great Kukku XV I think he’d take himself way too seriously, but would play off of other characters. In Fang’s mind, he’s a trained assassin, like an evil Aussie-accent Batman or something of that stretch. But, really? He’s just a sleazy conman with a popgun. I feel like a good joke to make in this series would be Fang reaching for what he thinks is his actual pistol, but then he’d pull it out and fire it and it’d be one of his fake popguns. And, do I even need to make a joke about the comedic possibilities between him and Shadow using guns? Also, his real name being Nack the Weasel but he wants everyone to call him Fang the Sniper is funny. I’m sorry but ‘Fang the Sniper’ is just a silly name and I like the idea of Fang being the equivalent of one of those nice guys with Otaku Katanas who think they’re WAY cooler than they actually are. I wanted to choose Fang as a minor antagonist in the reboot just because of the kind of character I think he is, he thinks he has everything under control and has all the cards laid out in front of him when in reality, this setup of his just fails dramatically. The kind of interactions between him and Sonic this could spell out are amazing.
Bean the Dynamite:
Voice Actor: Eric Bauza
What do you get when you throw Daffy Duck and Woody Woodpecker in a blender and make him an unstable arsonist? Bean the Dynamite, that’s what. I’d want Bean in this reboot to be an off-the-wall, screwy, but surprisingly resourceful and clever, explosion-crazed maniac. He wouldn’t be... *gag* ‘insane’, so much as he would be just hyper and unable to calm down, again, like Woody Woodpecker or Daffy Duck. He’d be quick-witted, fast-talking and zippy, even more than Sonic himself is. (In the end, Sonic would always outpace him, but the reflexes on THIS bird are crazy.) Also, I feel like the idea of Bean being a defector of the Battle Kukku Armada is just... great, considering they’re all bomb-throwing birds, but THIS one was a little too off-the-handle for even them? He’d be a real character and a surprisingly dangerous threat for Sonic and Co.
Bark the Polar Bear:
Voice Actor: I’m... actually not too sure who to cast Bark as tbh. Mostly because I see him being very quiet and not... speaking, much at all?
Bark is a quiet tough guy. He’s smarter than he looks, but he’s big, he’s mean, he’s tough, and he will Hulk slam at least one character in the length of this reboot. I don’t really have much idea on where to take Bark, I just think he deserves a place as a minor villain.
Projected direction for canon
So, we have all the pieces of the puzzle, let’s see how they all fit together! I’ll be going through these with the assumption that one game can be made to represent each season of the show in its entirety.
For this, I honestly think it would be best if we split this reboot up based upon Sonic the Hedgehog’s current history with its elements. Think, almost, the way Sonic Generations told its story. We’ll start with something with a more Classic Vibe to it, then move into something more Adventure-like, and then, finally, we do something a bit more Modern! It’ll be a little less linear, and we’ll double dip here and there, but it’ll all line up!
Because of this, I’d like to establish what games have already PASSED before going into this series. This is what all has happened going in, in roughly the chronological order they happened in.
Sonic the Hedgehog 1 (16-bit)
Sonic the Hedgehog 1 (8-bit)
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (8-bit)
SegaSonic the Hedgehog
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (16-Bit)
Sonic CD
Sonic the Hedgehog 3 & Knuckles
Sonic Chaos
Sonic Triple Trouble
Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episodes 1, 2, and Metal.
Sonic Mania
The intention is to begin sort of... around the time JUST before Sonic Adventure 1 happened in the old rudimentary timeline before Sonic Forces came out and clarified Classic and Modern Sonic were different beings.
Season 1/Game 1: Genesis
The first few episodes of the series will be more dedicated to introducing the characters and Sonic’s new home. We’ll see the new Sonic, the new Tails, the new Knuckles, Amy, Mighty, and Ray for the very first time, and we’ll also get to see some of the characters’ new capabilities as they take on some minor villains or assaults led by Orbot and Cubot for the first couple episodes; but not at all subtly tease at something bigger and better coming, although we’re also shown how frequent scuffles between Sonic and Eggman exactly are, as we see plenty of mention of the Doctor, but he never physically appears.
Then, I’d say at about Episode 5 or 6 out of say, 22-24? Eggman steps in and introduces us to his new Master Plan, as he does. To build a new Death Egg (which, Sonic obviously chides him on doing the same thing a THIRD time.), but, as Robotnik does, he turns out to be serious, and the episodes from there on out are a race against time for Sonic and co. to gather all the Chaos Emeralds from various different zones of various different challenging geographies, fight off villains and giant robots, learn valuable morals, run into some familiar faces, and have a couple laughs along the way.
The climax of the season would come with a few episodes left, where Sonic and Co. finally have all the Emeralds, and they chase Eggman down to the New Death Egg, maybe there could be an encounter with Metal Sonic along the way because nostalgia and to introduce Metal into the continuity, and of course things’ll play out from there, Robotnik gets the upper hand and shows his shit, gets in a giant robot, dukes it out with Super Sonic, and BAM! End of Season/Game!
At the very end of season 1/Game 1 though, I’d like to include a little teaser for Season 2/Game 2 in the form of a familiar-looking escape pod in the middle of a jungle, full of green bubbling fluid, and a flash of red eyes.
Season 2/Game 2: Chaos Emerald Chaos
Right out of the gate in Season 2/Game 2, we’re back in the game as Sonic and Eggman are seen duking it out a while after the first game/season has ended, but in a much different area than we’d seen in Season 1/Game 1. This fight would lead up to the pod in the teaser after Eggman lures Sonic into a dark room with the green glow in sight. By one way or another, maybe on purpose or on accident, this pod breaks open, and something is released from it. Sonic is understandably confused, but then, is knocked down, and a panning shot reveals one of three of our major antagonists for the season/game, Shadow the Hedgehog.
Shadow fucking wipes the floor with Sonic in this first encounter, but instead of finishing him off, Eggman instructs Shadow to leave him be and search for the rest of the Chaos Emeralds instead. Shadow nods and simply leaves via Chaos Control. Eggman, on the meanwhile, begins transporting Sonic back to North Island via dropship, revealing by surprise that this isn’t on North Island, but rather a much smaller place Eggman was using as a trap.
Meanwhile, Sonic’s friends (with Knux noticeably absent) are confused to learn that Sonic has been... committing crimes, upon his return back from a scuffle back with Eggman, and seeming very much unlike himself, always hiding away in the dark and staying away from everyone. When they go to confront him, it turns out that this was actually Shadow, disguised as Sonic, who was simply searching for the emeralds for Dr. Eggman.
Sonic’s friends demand to know where Sonic is, but Shadow kicks all their asses instead, and something about the Master Emerald is mentioned after the fight. We then cut away to Knuckles, who is soon confronted by Shadow.
Shadow puts up a hard fight, but, with the help of the chaos emerald he already had, defeats Knuckles, and goes to take the Master Emerald. But, in a last ditch effort to save the gem, Knuckles shatters the Master Emerald, causing the shards to scatter all across the islands. Shadow, understandably frustrated by this, scoffs and leaves, seemingly fooled into thinking the Master Emerald WAS destroyed. Unknowingly, however, shattering the Master Emerald caused Chaos, slumbering within the Emerald, to awaken.
Knuckles, obviously horrified by what he’s done, abandons Angel Island and sets to work on finding both the pieces of the Master Emerald, and any Chaos Emeralds he can, to stop Chaos before anything goes wrong.
At this point, we go back to Sonic, who finally escapes as the dropship taking him to EggmanLand and, by extension, escapes from the city as he hurries to try to reunite with his friends and tell them what happened.
From there, a combination of the events of Adventure 1 and 2 (with the addition of Metal Sonic and some other characters of course.) would transpire, with Rouge the Bat getting involved with Knuckles due to her finding the shards of the Master Emerald, and the Chaos Emeralds trading hands several times, all up until the Season/Game’s climax.
It would all build with Robotnik planning to use Chaos to terraform the Earth by transforming him into Perfect Chaos, who, once he takes form, begins wreaking havoc on a coastal city on the mainland. At this point, the Chaos Emeralds seem shut off, and even though the Master Emerald is restored, it seems like there’s nothing that can be done. Shadow, having already begun to go through a change of heart when he sees the kind of destruction the doctor’s plans have wrought, and after some choice words from Amy, decides instead to join Sonic and Co. in what seems like their darkest hour. And, Shadow mentions that Chaos only absorbed the negative energy of the emeralds, being in-tune with Chaos Energy himself, he’d know this.
And so, Super Sonic and Super Shadow defeat Perfect Chaos together, Knuckles and the spirit of Tikal work together to seal Chaos back inside the Master Emerald, and the city begins to drain.
Shadow, having felt satisfied with this, then decides to go off on his own for a while, and mentions something about ‘wanting to discover himself’, and ‘trying to decide what Maria would have wanted me to be.’
Oh, and Eggman is finally thrown in prison for literally capsizing an entire city. But don’t worry, he’ll be back.
End of Season 2/Game 2.
Season 3/Game 3: Triple Trouble!
This Eggmanless Season/Game would feature a ‘Triple Threat’, in the form of 3 major villains! And all three of them brand new to the series! We’re introduced to Emerl in this season, as well as Great Kukku XV, and Heavy King.
The entire season would be intense, Team Sonic rushing to get the Chaos Emeralds once again, while the Battle Birds (frequently interrupted by Bean the Dynamite, calling out to his ‘brothers’) and Heavies scramble to get them before the team does.
All the while... Emerl grows stronger and stronger by the minute.
And, in a surprise twist, Emerl, having copied the data of Great Kukku XV and the Heavies, among many others, grows the strongest he ever has, and, like Mecha Sonic in Sonic 3, uses the Master Emerald (likely stolen by Heavy King or Kukku at this point) to attain a Super form, and Emerl becomes a terrifying conglomerate of everything that has led up to this point, Perfect Emerl, the thing originally meant to take down PERFECT CHAOS.
But, luckily, Kukku and King realize when they’ve been beaten, and decide to help Super Sonic take down Perfect Emerl.
End of Season 3/Game 3. But like Season 1, let’s end off on a teaser. How about a small, flickering flame, with a visible shadow?
Season 4/Game 4: Return of Solaris
This is the final season/game I have planned out, although that’s not to say more couldn’t be done with this concept, it’s just about as far as I got. Essentially I was thinking this season could be a retelling and retooling of Sonic 06 with some details omitted or changed up like, for instance:
The romance between Sonic and Elise being outright axed! Matter of fact, while we’re at it, let’s just NOT make Elise a focus character so she doesn’t eat up screentime?
The weird time shit in this season/game being altered with Time Stones instead of Chaos Emeralds!
Less plotholes!
Focus on NONLINEAR timelines with LINEAR storytelling.
Silver is less silly!
Metal Sonic!
The Chaotix! AND THEY’RE HERE TO ACTUALLY BE HELPFUL!
Important Sonic characters being important!
Hey guess what? Eggman’s back and busted out of jail and he’s kicking ass! And he’s totally gonna release Solaris even though that didn’t work out so well for him last time!
Mephiles is still a cool villain! And he gets cool new designs for this series too that don’t stray too far from his original form!
I feel like this season/game would be kind of a hard fusion of Sonic CD and Sonic 06, with elements of Sonic CD being changing the past to ensure the future, and the future/present changing as a result.
The climax of this series would be, well, you know by now. Sonic getting shot in the back, but then revived using the Chaos Emeralds and Time Stones together. But, even with Super Sonic, all seems hopeless, but, Sonic and Knuckles seem to have an idea, and it leads up, to our grand finale:
Solaris, the extra-dimensional being of ultimate power.
Versus
Hyper Sonic, Super Shadow, Super Silver, Super Tails, Super Knuckles, Super Amy, Super Mighty, and Super Ray.
With Solaris finally felled, Sonic and Co. use the last of the energy of their super forms to do two more things.
Vanquish the flame of Solaris and Mephiles, and ensure that Solaris may never return to any Time Stream.
Silver’s future, although still broken, now looks much brighter, and the world is saved for the final time.
End of Season 4/Game 4.
I’m sure these ideas could be tweaked or changed around to span more seasons/games if certain characters or aspects of the series become popular, or if demand for certain characters appearing gets to be enough. Sonic has an immense library of games to do over or retell in this reboot, why not?
And, this is just my idea for it, it doesn’t have to go this way explicitly. My only goal with this was to try to unify the Sonic lore in an interesting, unique manner, but also in such a way that it was new, fresh, and it made sense, most of all!
Opening
This really applies more toward the cartoon part of this reboot, that’s not to say the video game COULDN’T utilize the cartoon’s opening or something, it’s just that the opening is more for the show than it is for the games.
There’s a number of ways to go here, but in my mind, the best way to open a Sonic cartoon? Is the way you’d open a Sonic game. How about a condensed ‘remake’ of Sonic CD’s opening, with a few short clips from the first few episodes thrown in there to get people curious and excited about the show when it first airs?
There’s a cover of Sonic Boom by Crush 40 and Cash Cash just waiting to be used for this very thing!
I also think a condensed (that is to say, censored. I hate to censor a great song but ‘kicking-ass fast’ is a bit much for a show that’s likely gonna be PG-rated.) version of the Zebrahead (aka the BEST) version of His World would make for a GREAT opening.
Or if we wanna piggyback off of the recent success of Mania, how about a condensed version of Friends? Maybe we could even end the intro off on a remake of Sonic Mania’s title theme if we wanna have like, a classic Sonic emblem at the end of the opening.
I’d say the opening should be about... 60% new animation with Sonic platforming around and parkouring like he does or whatever, and about 40% old animation of various clips from the show or maybe even the games if we’re feeling kinda frisky to show off the series we’re about to watch, but also for budgetary reasons and to, again, get people interested in what’s actually IN the show, or maybe we could even do it like Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure’s part 1 opening or something where a couple of important scenes from the very beginning of the show or games are re-animated in a flashy way to achieve the same effect, but also wow the audience. That'd be a huge budget sink though and going a classic clip-show-and-new-shit route may just be the ideal compromise.
Marketing
This next part is also a lot more cartoon oriented, and kinda heavily depends on who’s gonna be sponsoring the show and who’s gonna be running it, but, hear me out.
Part of Sonic’s rise to popularity in the 90s was controversial, competitive advertising. And you know what? I haven’t seen anything really quite like this in a long time (except maybe for cleaner commercials), but, lots of people remember how pushy and in your face these commercials were, and how much they really pushed the superiority of the product they were advertising. So you know what? Let’s bring this back. Let’s bring back Sonic’s violent guerilla marketing campaigns.
It’d be a great throwback as well as a statement about Sonic REALLY comin’ back and comin’ back hot; which might get some new people interested to at least watch a few episodes, and in the process of that, they may find they like the new show/games a lot!
(NOTE: I DON’T HATE NICKELODEON, AND THIS ISN’T EXACTLY WHAT I THINK THE SHOW’S SONIC SHOULD LOOK LIKE, THIS IS JUST A PROOF-OF-CONCEPT OF WHAT I THINK THIS SHOW’S ADVERTISING COULD LOOK LIKE)
Or, if we want to opt for more positive, passive marketing strategies, why don’t we revisit an idea that was misused and make it better?
Idk about anyone else but I actually really like the ‘blue streaks to show where Sonic’s been’ idea that the movie posters did, and I think it has potential to make a really memorable-looking advertisement.
Or, why not opt for a more nostalgic passive approach and recreate some of Sonic’s old box art?
Again, it’d be a great throwback as well as a way to get people interested in the show. Although, if we go this route I WOULD say maybe we should make it a little more interesting than just ‘Sonic 1 pose on a black grid or popart background’? Maybe we should combine these box arts and add the pop-art details for little pops of color while Sonic bursts out of this black-grid frame with a richly detailed drawing of Green Hill in the background? I dunno.
Conclusion
Okay, so. I didn’t get to everything I wanted to explain (like other marketing stuff, merchandising, the new actual GAMEPLAY for these new games, how to write the characters and humor, how I think the general ART STYLE of these new cartoons and games should look, etc.) as a matter of fact, I still have a ton more ideas for this reboot, but, here’s the main point:
Sonic the Hedgehog, right now? Sucks. Because it’s such a mess. It has too many ideas that are going off in too many different directions. The best way to change that, in my eyes, is to start over and try to unify all these broken-up ideas into one. I believe this is possible, while still maintaining a pretty widespread appeal and giving broken, old ideas a second chance to shine, but still being fresh and new enough to have a lasting impact and leave the door open for new content later.
I’m really bad at ending posts like this, but, if you went into this post thinking that Sonic can’t or shouldn’t change, I hope I’ve at least provoked thought on the matter. And, maybe, all those hardworking people at SEGA will decide one day that things need to change, whether by a reboot, rewrite or just... doing something a little bit different.
Maybe then, just maybe.
Our blue blur will really shine again.
- Jenny, of @jennikkugoesoff and @jennikku
#Sonic the Hedgehog#Sonic the Hedgehog Reboot#Sonic Reboot#Sonic#sth#jennikkugoesoff#my rants#my essays
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I am the friend known as “H” from CancerChaser blog in Chapter 6
I am here to corroborate what my friend said and provide my side of the story of this situation. Walhartonsclub (WC) told me about CancerChaser (CC) back in 2016 after the first incident where CC was wiling out on WC because of what seemed to a misunderstanding of affording a phone. I initially told WC to ignore him because he was not worth shit or at least is what I initially thought. From there he kept me informed about what CC did throughout.Now to go into when i was first referenced in the chronicles about CancerChaser. From what I knew at the time, CC asked WC to send emails over and over from phone to his email. Have no idea why would he need WC to do that. He could have used something like Imgur. Given that CC had a phone that was not a smartphone based on what I was told, it would probably be impossible. Of course trying to make simple suggestions to him like this is enough to make CC go into a hair-triggering temper tantrum, so there is no use to try to convince him to upgrade. It was 2016, being up to date shouldn’t be too hard, you can even get refurbished smartphones for a fraction of full retail price. My parents have the latest phones and they are older than CC by decades. Why did CC chose WC instead of other friends for these favors is beyond me. So he asked and asked and asked WC to send him these pics over and over. WC complied with generosity. WC likes to please his friends. He has pleased me multiple times. He also tries to be the best person he can be. Needless to say CC took advantage of him.So when it came time for CC return the favor, he was resistant initially. When he finally did start playing, he did until after half of the game was over. The game was Spring Breeze from Kirby’s Super Star on Super NIntendo. Did you know that Spring Breeze is a remake of the original Kirby’s Dream Land on Game Boy with a missing level and boss? So CC did not even bother finishing such a short abridged game. That betrayal was just foul play on CC’s end.
Then CC would later use WC’s insecurities to gain him back and asked for more favors. WC then approached me on rethinking the situation. I initially thought that he probably did not like the game and was bored. I made the suggestion to pick a game that has much less interaction. Like some touch screen DS or 3DS game. WC brought up Warioware Twisted Touched!, so I thought would be a good choice there. My reasoning is that CC probably has no real interest in video games. I have heard that he has play Super Mario Bros. 3 growing up. Which makes me realize that CC is a very casual non-gamer person.
Reading the situation in question at Chapter 5 reveals that CC had been simply holding the controller where the direction pad in the upper right corner and seemingly pressed no buttons which means he was faking interest and had no intention at all to return the favor. He really should have said that he had no interest in playing video games. He was lying to manipulate WC. Which comes to no surprise that CC refused to play Warioware Twisted Touched! when asked. He cannot play easy games. He cannot play very simple games. But he would lie about having an interest only for him to evade that with excuses. With friends like these who needs bullies?
The next time I was involved was when WC was having his panic attack resulting from personal issues that are stated in Chapter 6. I have received certain pictures that hinted that he was contemplating suicide. Being under vacation time from my job, I decided to actually come see WC to check up on him myself. When I saw him, he was sitting on a couch. When he saw me he was excited to see me I asked if he took any of the pills or hurt himself, he told me that he gave himself more time to think about it. Perhaps to think about the people that love him.
He told me about the situation that led up to the panic attack. Best way to describe what was happening without revealing confidential information is that someone was very sick and emotions erupted. I had told him that he needs more time to hang out with friends. We not only did Spring Breeze in full, but also Meta Knight’s Revenge, Dyna Blade, and Great Cave Offensive as well. Games in that collection that are larger than Spring Breeze. We did not get to do Milky Way Wishes that day, but we did eventually got to do it at another time. We also played Brawl Brothers, all I remember is that there was a code to play the Japanese version and we did that and completed the game. It was short at 5 levels long. We also played Events in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U. We did not clear all of the event, only some but we did have fun.
At Applebees we discussed the situation further. There I learned that he had sent the same pics to other friends as well which made me concerned. I thought that WC was going to get a wellness check on him or worse be committed to a mental ward for days. I only knew one recipient among the 7 besides myself (I never met CC in person). The person I knew is a mutual friend. The mutual friend never really got to see the messages, so he was unaware (it reached an old phone and when he got a new one, the messages were deleted). The mutual was relieved to know that WC was okay and felt better. And yes the mutual is informed of CC and his bullshit antics; I can confirm that he heavily resents CC, as I do.
So I had to get WC to do damage control to avoid being institutionalized. As information like this can scare people and be irrational. We needed for cooler heads to prevail. So WC told everyone that it was for attention. So WC can still run his panel at a upcoming convention and not be stuck that weekend in a mental hospital. He really needed to avoid the ruining of plans like that.
After all, my cousin once told me about the one time she told exactly one person that she felt suicidal because an aunt of hers being diagnosed of cancer (from her dad’ side, I’m related through our moms being sisters). Telling her best friend was enough for the BF to call the ambulance and my cousin had to stay in a mental ward for 16 days!
CC’s response was very callous. As far as I know, he never asked what was going on around that time. He just stayed silent and only responded with that shitty “I knew it” bullshit when he received a fucking coverup. WC was crying for help and I answered the call. I live 2 hours away and this asshat lives minutes away in walking speed, yet gives radio silence to someone he calls himself a friend to, is mere blocks away, while I invest in gas and mileage to make sure WC is okay. Some friend CC is. For someone who claims to be “a good friend” in his hate mail; he sure shows no effort in even trying to check up on him. Real piece of scum CC is.
I later go to see the panel and I liked it. Which comes to no surprise in my perspective. The next day I played Streets of Rage 1 with WC. The only other thing I remember is that there was some dude I met who was in a wheelchair because he broke his foot days before.
Now for my thoughts about CancerChaser and his narcissism.
Walhartonsclub would later work for New York Comic-Con and buy the Super NES Classic. Which meant for the later part of September and early October he would be very busy. He also was seeking for connections, so there would not be any room for free time. CancerChaser did not give a shit about the adult responsibilities WC had to do. And despite CC being older than WC, CC would not take no for an answer and start guilt tripping WC. Having enough of CC’s scummy actions, WC finally cut ties. This was met with harassment and hatemail. Which truly shows CC’s irredeemable character in full form.
CC is a fucking disgrace to everything it means to being gay. If I was gay, I would rather live in a fucking fraternity of homophobic bullies that to ever have anything to do with CC. This old man never seemed to learn a single thing about accountability or responsibility. How dare does he interfere with a job? What gives him the right to call his target for the simple reason to give expletives to him? And his emails? Disgusting does not come close. Making empty threats to for law enforcement for intimidation and truly showing his true colors on how he uses people only to claim they are useless after the fact. And his latest unprovoked email where he makes more empty threats and more shitty insults is fucked up. I have heard that CC passed by a block away from WC’s home twice after 2017. That is obvious projection. CC’s knows WC’s location. Clearly CC is the stalker. Stalking close to his target’s home and then acts like he is the victim and being harassed is scummy behavior. I have never seen such a scummy person ever as far as stalkers and harassers go.
I honestly have no consideration for him as a human being. If he receives anything terrible short of death, it is karma. He deserves nothing but negativity and hate. This man is among the lowest of monsters. I have had to deal with people with psychosis several years ago, but this man is worse by the power of 10. There is bad people and there is EXTREME SCUM. CancerChaser is the latter. The only people worse than CancerChaser are child rapists, pedophiles, murderers, terrorists, abusive parents, and human traffickers. All those aside, CancerChaser is the worst kind of person out there. Fuck this man. Fuck him HARD!
And finally I got one thing to announce. I get the feeling that people do not really want to read long as fuck posts like this on tumblr. I am going to fix that. I am going to working on readings of the CancerChaser blog and post them on YouTube so people who don’t really care about reading essays can listen to the situation as well. Because we really to expose CancerChaser and let tons of people know who much inhumane scumbag CC truly is.
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The Report Card (Avengers x Reader) {Chatroom}
Author’s Note(s): I wrote this back in october and forgot about in entirely. I hope you enjoy x
Warning(s): just swearing tbh
Summary: Dogs are great but your dads Steve and Tony don’t agree.
you have created a chatroom
you have named the chat “dear fathers whom I love so very much :)”
you have added Tony
You: hello father who raised me from a yOung one whom to which I love very much :)
Tony: no
You: no???
You: I didn’t say anything ???
Tony: it’s paternal instinct
You: at least hear me out
Tony: nO
You: daAAaaAAD
Tony: (Y/nNnnnNn)
You: I’m gonna tell you anyways
Tony: I had a feeling you would
You: so I got my report card back
Tony: I can already see where this is going
You: and I got all As…
Tony: I was not prepared for this part of parenthood
You: so I was wondering…
Tony: gEt To iT CHILD
You: if I could get a puppy?
Tony: lmao NO
You: fudGe yOU
You: you’re the worst dad ever
Tony: I’m going to pretend that my pride isn’t wounded and say I love you too kiddo :,)
You: I bet Steve would get me a dog.
Steve has joined the chat
Steve: no he wouldn’t
You: pleaSe dad?
Steve: nope
You: how can anyone call you the man of dreams? Freedom? Liberation?
You: you’re both the worst
Steve: correction…Tony is the worst. Who makes you cap’s shield shaped sandwiches everyday?
You: you do…
Steve: damn right I do
Tony: hey I mean I totally don’t pay your phone bill… not at all… please do continue to insult me as if I’m not here.
You: you know what fudge you both, I’m asking peter.
Tony: oh god no not the kid
Tony: you know I can’t say no to him
You: exactly ;)
You have added Peter
Peter: Hey everyone!
You: hi Petey <3
Tony: hey underoos
Steve: hello
Peter: what can I do for you?
You: oh y'know
You: we just need you to settle a family disagreement
Peter: oh… okay, what seems to be the problem?
Steve: (Y/N) got all As in her report card
Peter: Aw well done baby! :)
Tony: I am resisting the urge to throw up (:
You: and I want a puppy as a reward but AnthonY and SteVeN wont let me get one.
Peter: well that’s a shame
Steve: it sure is…
You: shuT UP Steve
Steve: thE DISrESPECT
Tony: asjajaja
You: anyways I need you to convince them that I should get a puppy
Peter: uHhhh
Steve: I’d chose my words wisely kid.
Tony: or don’t say anything at all, y'know.
Peter: umm
You: if you don’t help me convince them I won’t let you do my homework for a month
Peter: I…shouldn’t…be doing… your homework… anyway?
You: shut up you know you enjoy it
Peter: I do :(
Tony: what…just…happened?
Steve: I don’t know but is this how dating works nowadays?
Clint has joined the chat
Tony: oh no
Clint has added Natasha, Bruce, Thor, T'challa, Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Scott and Vision.
Clint: we heard talk of a dog
Steve: well you heard wrong
Sam: how can anyone call you the man of dreams? Freedom? Liberation?
You: I SAID THAT
Thor: I FOR ONE AM IN FAVOUR OF SMALL AND FEROCIOUS BEAST RUNNING AROUND THE TOWER!! IT SHALL BE MOST ENJOYABLE :) :) :)
Natasha: Thor, caps lock sweetie.
Thor: *whispers* oh yes, I apologise widow of black :) :) :)
Peter: is bad that I actually heard him yelling from the other side of the tower or?
Peter: and are we just going to ignore the fact that he added in *whispers* ?
Clint: LeT hIm LiVe pETer
Bucky: yeah! Sit down you little asshole
Peter: I… am…confused.
Sam: oh somebody get him a juice box, little Peter is confused.
Peter: w h y a re y o u a t t a c k i n g m e ?
Sam: oh shit someone’s having a tantrum.
Natasha: go sit in a corner sam, you’re being uneccesary.
Sam: stfu woman come back when you can spell unnecessary.
Bucky: #ROASTED
You: WE ARE GETTING OFF TOPIC
Wanda: what were we talking about again?
Tony has cleared the chat
Tony: I think were talking about getting pancakes for breakfast today
Steve: oh yes, Tony’s treat :)
Tony: of course it’s my treat I’m the only one with money.
Scott: I’m down for pancakes
Bucky: yeah I could go for some too
T'challa: if Tony’s paying
Thor: I TOO WOULD ENJOY THE CAKE OF THE PAN.
Natasha: as mentioned before, only if Tony’s paying.
Wanda: same
Steve: then its settled, pancakes at 10
Clint: WHAT ARE YOU TAPKING ABOUT
Clint: WE WERE TALKING ABOUT GETTING A DOG YOU FOOLS
You: T H A N K Y O U
Tony: fuck yOu clint
Steve: LANGUAGE TONY
Steve: there are children present
You: all in favour of getting a dog say aye
Scott: aye
Wanda: aye
Bucky: aye
Sam: aye
Peter: aye
Clint: AYE FUCKING AYE CAPTAIN
Bucky: too much Clint too much
Clint: sorry
Peter: well it’s decided, I guess we’re getting a dog
Tony: Vision, T'Challa, Bruce and Natasha haven’t voted yet.
Steve: not to mention Pietro
Pietro has joined the chat
Pietro: I vote for the dog, they’re better than people and I hate everyone.
Pietro has left the chat
Wanda: sorry about that, he’s still salty because we invited Scott to the Civil War and not him.
Scott: how were we supposed to know? he’s meant to be dead
Clint: RIP that speedy guy 2k15, you shall not be missed
You: I am physically sobBiNg
Bucky: she’s not kidding, I am three floors down and I can still hear her.
Scott : it sounds like she’s dying
Peter: then it’s nothing new.
Bruce: ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU HAD A CIVIL WAR?
Bruce: I THOUGHT WE WENT THROUGH THIS
Tony: no brucie, we’re talking about the possibility of (Y/N) having a demon spawn to call their own
Bruce: I hate all of you
T'Challa: I agree, you are all beneath me
Sam: sit yo ass down and drink some milk, cat man
Bucky: #LIGHTLYBURNT
Wanda: IM WHEEZING
Scott: you guys gotta stop roasting each other, (Y/N) is going to D I E of laughter.
Peter: let her
Tony: what
Peter: f r e e m e
Steve: moving on…
Thor: yes…please proceed.
Steve: Bruce? Natasha? Thoughts on the dog.
Natasha: I’m against it
You: WHY?? YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE THE AWESOME AUNT NOT THE ASSHOLE AUNT
Natasha: cats are cooler
Clint: Natasha we can no longer be friends
Natasha: fine by me
Bucky: #CHARED
Tony: science bro?
Bruce: I’m also in favour of a cat, they’re more peaceful and less…like you guys.
T'Challa: I agree
Bucky: leave cat man
T'Challa: call me that again and pietro won’t be the only avenger to have died
T'Challa has left the chat
You: well then…
Peter: I don’t know what to say
Thor: what about brother vision? He has yet to cast his vote.
Wanda: I’ll admit Vis has been very quiet.
Vision: I apologise profusely for my lack of presence.
You: HE JUST PHASED INTO THE COMMON ROOM AS HE TYPED THAT IM W H E E Z I N G
Tony: Steve is your child asthmatic
Steve: she’s not my child, she’s yours
You: wow what a loving family I have
Thor: indeed, much like my own, at least you are not a murderous pathetic excuse for a villain :)
Wanda: is it me or does the smiley face make it worse ?
Natasha: it’s the smiley face.
Tony: anywho vis, vision, partial creation of mine
Tony: what do you think about getting a dog?
Vision: by my calculations getting a dog would perhaps increase the physical activity of (Y/N) as we have come to realise, She only moves to retrieve a food source before returning to her room. Having a dog would lead to (Y/N) leaving the compound more, in order to walk the animal.
You: I’m sorry I didn’t know asking for a dog would include roasting me
Bucky: #BARBECUED
Peter: what’s with all these hashtags ?
Bucky: I’m running out of synonyms for roasted
Vision: Additionally, having a dog would decrease the stress levels of the team and perhaps everyone’s mutual hatred towards Mr Stark.
Tony: you all hate me?
Steve: its less of hatred and more like a preference for avoiding you :) nothing to worry about.
Tony: oh okay then :)
Clint: how did that go over his head?
Bruce: I have no idea
Vision: to conclude getting a puppy would be most beneficial.
You: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
You: HAHAHA SUCK IT STEVEN IM GETTING A DOG
Bruce: (Y/N) is definitely Stark’s child.
Thor: aye
Natasha: no doubt about it
Loki has joined the chat
Clint: ew who invited him
Wanda: why so salty Clint?
Clint: he tried to take over my mind with some voodoo shit
Sam: VOODOO SHIT IM SCREAMING
Peter: he actually is
Peter: it’s very loud
Loki: you foolish midguardians. I always said that you would be responsible for your own demise.
Scott: what are you on about reindeer games?
Loki: I’m sorry who are you?
Bucky: #OVERCOOKED
Bruce: these hashtags are getting out of hand.
Peter: remind me to teach him how to use them properly.
Thor: brother! :D
Loki: NOT NOW YOU BLONDE HEADED FOOL
Thor: D:
Wanda: yikes
Loki: I HAVE COME TO WARN YOU.
You: warn us of your presence? Because none of us actually like you.
Thor: I do
Thor: just a bit
Loki: purchasing the vile beast known as man’s best friend will only result in the destruction of the Avengers. We all know (Y/N) would betray us. She would raise this animal, to become a beast. Multiply it and use it to destroy us from the inside.
Steve: is Loki… afraid…of dogs
You: oh my god
Loki: NO YOU IMBECILE I AM HERE TO SAVE YOU
Natasha: Loki? Saving us ?
Vision: in all my years on earth I have never heard such an entertaining tale
Peter: sit the fuck down bish you’re like 2 years old
Bruce: peter omg
Sam: THERE ARE T E A R S FLOWING FROM MY EYES
Thor: please send help it sounds like he’s choking
Bucky: l e t h i m
Steve: what is it with everyone and wanting to kill each other?
You: don’t act like you haven’t wanted to kill any of us, you golden child
Steve: …
Steve: proceed.
Bucky: #
Scott: don’t even start I beg
Bucky: D:
Loki: you mortals will all perish
Tony: so I think we’ve established that Loki is afraid of dogs, and since none of us like him I propose we get one.
Steve: agreed
Loki: NO YOU DENSE HEADED INFERIORS
Tony: all in favour of a dog say aye
Steve: aye
You: aye
Thor: aye
Peter: aye
Scott: aye
Wanda: aye
Vision: aye
Natasha: aye
Bucky: aye
Bruce: aye
Sam: aye
Clint: AYE MOTHER FUCKING AYE BITCHES
Bucky: Clint pls
Natasha: you are an embarrassment to this team, no wonder pietro is always running away from you.
Natasha has left the chat
Clint: damn
Bucky: #SCORCHED
Peter: well now that this has come to end, Let’s go Bucky, I gotta teach you the ways of the hashtag
Sam: oh I have got to see this
Scott: I’m definitely filming this
Bucky has left the chat
Peter has left the chat
Sam has left the chat
Scott has left the chat
Loki: you will all die
Loki has left the chat
Thor: it appears that Loki is having a tantrum
Thor: I must tend to my brother, his feelings have been hurt.
Tony: lolol I don’t care
Steve: same tbh
You: SE E YOU ARE NOT SUCH A PURE GOOD WILLING PERSON AFTER ALL
You: SUCK IT STEVEN
Tony: why do you have such a disrespectful child Steve?
Steve: biologically she’s your creation, you do the math
Clint: LMAOOO
Bruce: brb I’m totally not sobbing with laughter
Thor: I must depart from you friends (: goodbye
You: bye (:
Thor: (:
You: (:
Thor: (:
You: (:
Thor: (:
You: (:
Thor: (:
Clint: ISTG JUST LEAVE
Thor: be careful who you yell at brother Clinton. I am always watching.
Thor has left the chat
Bruce: well then
Tony: moving swiftly on
Clint: AHAHAA
You: im finally getting a dog WHOO
Clint: WHOOO
You: WHOOO
Steve: why are you both simultaneously yelling ‘whoo’ whilst typing it at the same time?
You: it’s for effect
Bruce: looool
Tony: anyways since you’re getting this dog, they least you could do is name it after your favourite dad
Steve: I agree, this debate has gone on for too long
Steve: which one of us do you like best?
You: sure why not
Bruce: this is going to get interesting
Clint: I’m ready to take screenshots
You: I’m naming my dog peter
Steve: why?
You: because he’s my favourite daddy
You: duh
(Y/N) has left the chat
Tony: what
Steve: pardon
Bruce: AJAJAJA IM SCREAMING AND WHEEZING AT THE SAME TIME I CANT
Clint: OH MY GOD BYE
Bruce has been disconnected
Clint: I’m totally… going to… see if he’s okay… and not laugh about this
Clint has left the chat
Steve: I can’t believe this
Tony: …
Steve: you have your suit right?
Tony: already putting it on
Steve: the shield?
Tony: it’s right where you left it
Steve: it’s time to go squash a spider
Steve has left the chat
Tony has left the chat
#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker fluff#peter parker au#avengers chatroom#avengers x reader#avengers au#peter parker angst#tom holland imagine#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#tom holland smut#tom holland fluff#tony stark imagine#tony stark x reader#tony stark#steve rogers#stony#steve rogers x you#steve rogers imagine#natasha romanoff#sam wilson#t’challa#scott lang#clint barton#bruce banner#bucky barnes#vision#wanda maximoff
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Triggered - Seo Changbin
When the one person you trusted to not break your heart does just that... how do you recover? Broken one too many times before can you forgive him?
To say you were insecure was an understatement, your whole life you were made to feel less than everyone else, worthless, ugly and a waste of time. That was until you met Seo Changbin rapper for famous idol group Stray Kids, exactly 2 years ago today. He made your life worth something, he made you feel loved, wanted, needed he made you feel beautiful. So you wanted to make him feel special and surprise him with lunch, before your very exciting anniversary night but shit backfires!
Y/N’s P.O.V
He is everything that’s good and I felt so bad about having to rush to my best friend Jack’s house early morning, but it was only cause he is helping me to organise Binnie’s surprise for tonight! Dinner at his favourite restaurant, 2 tickets to a Chase Atlantic concert being performed in a bar (since he said he wanted to see my favourite band live with me), then back to my place for a long night of appreciation and sentimental words, oh and loving.
Walking into the JYPE building even after all this time still made me nervous, I’d brought enough for the 10 of us to eat but probably would end up making sure Changbin ate enough for the both of us. I make my way to the dance studio where they undoubtedly are overworking to perfect their lastest comeback, but to my surprise I hear them talking.
“I just can’t handle Y/N today man, the stress and exhaustion may be getting to me but god I can’t deal with her insecurities. Every night she’s crying over something new, worrying I’ll leave her, skipping meals. Every single time I come home she’s panicked and I can’t deal with her insomnia one more sleepless night I’m gonna lose my shit.” I hear Changbin ramble on, standing at the door awe struck and frozen with fear. I hear footsteps...
“That’s not nice Changbin!” Jeongin defends me, bless him he’s always been so kind to me.
“Yeah maybe you’re being a little bit harsh, she’s had it rough and on today of all days you shouldn’t be bagging out the girl you’re dating.” Chan agrees knowing full well what today was while Changbin seemed lost.
“Today of all days? What do you mean?” Tears start rolling down my cheeks as the foot steps getting closer before you could process the door swings open revealing a very shocked looking Jeongin and scared looking Chan.
“Don’t.” I choke out handing Chan the food and with blurry vision and my head up high looking Changbin dead in the eyes. “I know where I stand, happy anniversary btw asshole. Enjoy it on your own!” Sarcasm lacing my voice as I spin on my heels ignoring the pleads of the boy who was and is my world.
Changbin’s P.O.V
I go to chase after her, I was dumb, I didn’t mean any of it. I said it myself I’m just tired and stressed, one things for sure, I need her.
“Changbin, Jyp is on his way and you know that, you can’t leave now.” Woojin scolds.
“Hyung, I cant just let her leave, not like this, not today, not anyday. I need her I was just being a dick, you all know that.” I say pointing to the members.
“I’m sorry but right now Woojin is right, she’s already gone, your damage has been dealt.” Minho backs Woojin up looking at the boy sorrow filling his eyes, Minho of all people knew the extent to which Changbin needed Y/N.
“Did you really forget what today was Bin?” Felix asks, his voice a whisper as he stood beside the boy.
“Yes.” He breaks “I fucking forgot.” He colaspes to the ground in his own sorrow he doesn’t hear his boss entering the studio.
“Changbin, what’s wrong?” The man dressed in casual attire sounds genuinely concerned.
“I-I -I’m just a bit cranky today sir, I’m sorry.” He stands up momentarily regaining his composure.
“Well you boys have tonight off, but I wanted 3 racha to go to a show tonight. The group is an Aussie group, I figured you’d like that Chan...” he chuckles to himself “the point is to widen your musical exposure and hopefully give you some ideas for beats, composition and you’ll have a chance to talk to them afterwards. In return they’ll come to your show later this month, their manager wanted them to have some free time and they wanted to check you boys out after hearing that you’ll be watching them.” They all nod Changbin regretting so afterwards.
“The show starts at 8pm, goes for about 2 hours and you’ll meet them afterwards. Changbin I know it’s your anniversary but is there anyways you could call Y/N, I’ll pay for your make up date, I know how inconvenient this must be and I’m so sorry.” He smiles genuinely patting the boy’s back and walking out.
“Fuck as if it couldn’t get any worse.” He grunts turning to Chan who’s still holding the bag.
“She brought this for us.” Chan says followed by “She’d want us to eat it regardless.” A bittersweet smile on my face as I realise exactly the magnitude to which I have just fucked up.
Y/N’S P.O.V
“Yo mitty, so I’m coming to your show tonight, was wondering if you and the boys wanted to get drinks after. Like old times back home!” I ask excitement filling my broken voice, my voice hoarse from an hour of sobbing until I decided I’d just go to my friends concert and let lose. Have a good time like we used to!
“You know I’m always down for that, but we gotta meet with some idols or something after who are coming, you’re more than welcome to join back stage. We can race fireball like old times?” The boy chuckles over the line.
“Alright Cave, you’re on!” I smile proudly knowing I’ll kick his ass just like old times!
“Alright cutie you’re on.” With that he hangs up the line, cutie was what he used to call me in highschool. Some junior tried to hit on me during our last year and he swooped into rescue me, I miss those times. No broken heart, no betrayal, just a bunch of idiot friends having a good laugh and writing some songs.
I get dressed while calling Casper to update him on the situation. I take my lacey black bra and pair it with some black ripped skinny jeans and a pair of combat boots and leather jacket to top off the bad ass bitch vibe for tonight. Put my piercings in, necklaces on, straighten my hair and do some light make up and boom ready to have an awesome time. Despite the ever growing pit of grief in my stomach, was I really that needy? Desperate? Clingy? That I managed to make Changbin the man who would always call me the love of his life, hate me.
Changbin’s P.O.V
3RACHA pulling up looking hot as fuck. Chan dressed in his mixtape 4 outfit (cause that’s a fat OOF 🤤), Han Jisung wearing his outfit from the boxer street video (p.s author loves her baby UWU he’s so handsome.) and Changbin wearing his outfit from SBS Inkigayo ep 997 (because Oml What an absolute king of I am not a goth but black is such my colour and I own this shit). Okay visual cue out!
“What the fuck is up Seoul? We’re Chase Atlantic thanks for coming out tonight.” The crowd screams “it’s super amazing to be here tonight and we hope you all have a dope time, our first song tonight is Triggered. I wanna hear you get loud.” A man with long dirty blonde / brown hair hypes the crowd up and they begin. The music itself wasn’t bad but most of the lyrics went in one ear out the other, lots about drugs but then again I only picked up half the songs contents but after all we were only there to listen to their use of sources, beats and their instruments so if it works, it works.
Next was a song called Swin, Cassie, Into It, 23, Lust, Friends, Uncomfortable, Drugs & Money, Right Here, What U Call That, Ozone, Devilish, The Walls, Okay and then they talked for a little. I scan through the crowd from our seats which were front section of second level as I was not really understanding what they were talking about until I see her, there she was, Y/N here, or at least I think it’s her I can only see her back but she’s got the jacket I gave her on. It had a SPEAR.B patch on the back, one she had designed for me when we were only known as 3RACHA. Surely it’s her the hair colour and jacket, surely that’s MY Y/N.
“Oi Chan?” I turn to the blonde haired Aussie to my left “is that Y/N?” I question pointing to where the girl is.
“Looks like it, that’s her jacket after all and this is her favourite band.” He looks slightly annoyed I hadn’t put two and two together, Aussie band, Chase Atlantic. Y/N always talked about how one day we’d go to their concert and we’d be the hottest couple because she had me. I told her I wanted to go see the things she loves. Jesus today keeps getting worse. Time ticks on and I can’t help but watch her, the girl I love, dancing with some other guy, laughing, singing, being happy. When I left her broken-hearted.
“This is our last few songs, these are You Too, Meddle About and Like A Rockstar! Enjoy Seoul you’ve been fucking awesome.”
I watch by as she gets crazy, let’s go and enjoys herself. Was she really unphased? No, I could tell, I know her better than anyone.
The boys wrap up the show and I watch as the lead singer leaves before we head back stage. My eyes searching for her, but she’s no where to be seem.
Y/N’s P.O.V
“MITTY” I scream as I hurl myself at my oldest friend who’s laying in the green room couch. “CUTIE!” He screams back tickling me “how the fuck have you been man?” I ask as we spend time catching up we hear a knock. “Yeah come in” Mitchael screams “bro my fucking ears, Jesus” I complain getting off of him and going towards Clinton as he’s where the drinks are. “Clint? Gimme something strong yeah?” I plead “Jesus rough day?” He chuckles “you have no idea man. No I fucking dear” I sigh turning around and regretting it instantly.
There he stood, Seo Changbin looking as good as ever. Without much thought I down the entire drink and head back to sit with Mitchel, Chan breaks the momentary awkward silence “hello it’s nice to meet you, we are 3RACHA.” Chan extends his hand to Mitchel but instead he bro hugs him, “how’d you enjoy the show man?” Clinton asks Changbin as they bro hug “uh... it was really good, I-I really like the uh compositions of your music-c.” I smile slightly to myself he’s doing so well my precious boy, Y/N SNAP. OUT. OF. IT. “That’s so nice, thanks bro.”
The night or the next hour and 30 minutes at least consisted of everyone sitting on the couches sharing advice, ideas, stories and me on my phone. “You know this little chick right here is pretty good with a beat, we used to have jam sessions and she always started our old songs.” Mitchel looks down at me as I occupy the space next to him, “she even sends us samples and lyrics still to this day, cutie over here got mad skills.” My eyes go wide knowing full well Changbin just heard and understood everything that was said, I hum from behind my phone screen too scared to look up in fear I’d meet his eyes. Those same eyes I can feel burning a hole into my forehead right now, “how about we watch some of your videos, I know we get to see you live soon but aye give us a sneak peak!” Clinton changes the topic, my life saver. Chan pulls out his phone and everyone huddled around where he was sitting I stand at the back close to Changbin just too rest the waters, knowing he was both sad and jealous I didn’t want to escalate things. He notices my position and while everyone is focused on the phone snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me closer into his side “baby, you know I love you. I was a dick I am so sorry. I need you to stay with me. Please love.” He whispers in my ear sending shivers down my spine as he peppers soft, sweet kisses along my neck, “we will talk about this later” I muster up all the courage I can to detach myself from his side and go back to sitting on the couch scrolling through my phone. “Y/N, you good?” Clinton asks knowing I’ve had a few drinks “yeah boys, all g” I smile.
“Talk about sick beats man, those are dope. So you make all your own shit. Composing, mixing, lyrics. The whole lot yeah?” Changbin nods “yeah the whole lot.” He smiles confidently, fuck he’s making this hard.
#Stray Kids#stray kids imagines#changbin#Changbin imagine#Seo Changbin#Kpop#stray kids one shot#stray kids writing#stray kids angst#stray kids fanfiction#stray kids fluff#stray kids scenarios#stray kids x reader#stray kids#bang chan#han jisung#bang chan imagines#han jisung imagine#Minho#Seungmin#Jeongin#Woojin#Felix#Hyunjin#3RACHA#SKZ#kpop boy group imagines#kpop imagines#kpop reactions#Chase Atlantic
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〚THIRTY NINE〛
Jungkook got confronted by Hoseok, Yoongi, and Namjoon a week later.
He was in the library during the study period, listening to Dolly Parton while doing math homework. Because nothing solved calculus like some good old country music! He was halfway done when he heard a clearing of a throat.
"Jeon." A voice came abruptly, and Jungkook took his earphone out and looked up, raising his eyebrow when he saw the three boys. Namjoon in his glasses, Yoongi with his disheveled shirt sticking out of his trousers, and Hoseok looking slightly nervous.
"What?" Jungkook asked, voice flat.
With everything that had been going on so far in the school year, three of his best friends suddenly shunning him and pretending like he never existed was one of the worst. He was close to them. Maybe not how close he was to Jimin, but it still counted.
They ate lunch together every single day. Jungkook used to help Yoongi with his Chemistry assignments. Hoseok used to call Jungkook 'Kookie Boy' and always grin when Jungkook scowled. Namjoon used to help Jungkook with his English homework, always ruffling his hair afterward.
To just... ignore him like that. To completely push him away and even actively make homophobic remarks towards him. It sucked.
"We wanted to talk to you." Hoseok stated, and Jungkook saw the orange haired boy and then bit his lip.
"Okay..." Jungkook trailed and then saw Namjoon sigh. "Jungkook- we came here to apologize. About being so... rude about the gay thing."
Jungkook stilled. He looked at them with widened eyes. Hoseok nodded. "We were assholes to you. You don't deserve that, Jungkook! I've been wanting to apologize for ages, honestly. It just... it occurred to us suddenly how badly we fucked up." Hoseok mumbled.
"Why now?" Jungkook asked, and then saw Yoongi give him a look.
"Yesterday at football practice- one of the guys made a homophobic comment towards Sehun. Sehun didn't say anything, but V got really mad and yelled at everyone. Said stuff about how we were being ignorant and shouldn't make jokes like these." Yoongi said, hands in pockets.
Jungkook stilled. "Oh." Jungkook said, looking down at his notebook.
"We're sorry. Truly. Jin also kind of beat our ass." Namjoon said, and Jungkook bubbled out a giggle. "So yeah. We don't expect you to forgive us-"
"I don't. Not instantly. But- but people make mistakes. And you guys are still young, so the earlier you decide to change, the better." Jungkook said, giving the boys a small smile. Hoseok and Namjoon smiled brightly, while Yoongi just gave him a small smile. "I forgive you guys."
"Yay!" Hoseok said, and then jumped into the seat beside him, startling Jungkook. "You look bored as fuck doing maths. Let me show you this new track the three of us have been working on-" Hoseok said, taking his phone out.
"You guys do music now?" Jungkook gasped, grinning. It made him realize he hadn't had a proper conversation with them for months. Random small words exchanged during classes and football practice didn't count.
"Yeah! We rap." Namjoon said, and Jungkook giggled. "Or at least we try to." Yoongi added.
"I'm sure you're great! Let me hear it-" Jungkook said, and then got lost in mindless chatter with the boys.
///
kth_v
240 likes, 80 comments
kth_v whats up broski
view comments...
eka11 change the caption instantly
jiminpark hottie thottie
eka11 @jiminpark "straight"
oohsehun wow
kth_v @oohsehun ?
minahearts you look so good 😍
eka11
v is so fucking hot
jeonjungkooks
eka thats literally mex
eka11
mine too jungkook u aint special
jiminpark
yall weird as fuck
jiminpark
but he's hot tho mmm im straight but wow
jeonjungkooks
why tf did sehun comment 'wow'
eka11
because he has eyes
jiminpark
yah no offence i know u hate v or whatever but like damn must've been fun having sex with him
eka11
it really was
jeonjungkooks
yeah
jeonjungkooks
anyways u guys are the worst best friends
why are you bringing up how good my 'ex' looks when im BOYCOTTING him
jiminpark
sorry 👉🏻👈🏻
eka11
was he fun to top
jeonjungkooks
i didnt?? top him?? why would i? im a Bottom 😙
jiminpark
i know i saw the disposable vaginal douche in the garbage
eka11
omg i use that
jeonjungkooks
omg wig
eka11
anyways wbk you're a bottom
hows sehun been... is he still like 'fuck me daddy i'll be ur good little boy and take ur fat cock'
jeonjungkooks
sehun has never said those words ever in his entire existence in humanity
jeonjungkooks
and anyways idk we haven't had sex for a while
jiminpark
👀
jeonjungkooks
like it just gets awkward so i just suck him off or something :/
eka11
no offense but why are u still dating him
eka11
he deadass cheated on u lmaooo
jiminpark
didnt u cheat on like all of your boyfriends
eka11
this isnt about me
jeonjungkooks
because he came over after that whole fiasco and i was crying
he kind of comforted me and stuff and kept apologizing
he told me that he was scared i dont like him back
jiminpark
you dont
jeonjungkooks
and idk i just had some fam issues so i was being mean to everyone sorry <3
eka11
its okay bby
eka11
but break up with sehun
jeonjungkooks
i dont want to hurt him again! wait he texted me one sec
oohsehun
babe there's a spring prom coming up omg lets go! matching clothes and all
jeonjungkooks
we'll get bullied
oohsehun
true
jeonjungkooks
but sure sehunnie <3
oohsehun
<3 <3 <3
///
"10-minute water break!" Coach announced, and the boys scurried off the field and towards the benches to go drink water. Taehyung heard him, but didn't care. He glared at the red circle on the goal post in front of him. He needed to hit the target at least once.
Taehyung hit the ball hard, fast. All the boys watched as the ball went straight towards the center of the goal, but missed the target by half an inch. The boys all gasped at how close he was, but Taehyung groaned to himself, crouching down and breathing heavily.
"V go get water. Don't exert yourself," Coach said, and Taehyung grumbled under his breath and stood up to walk over to the benches. The boys were all talking. Taehyung picked his water bottle and squeezed it tightly, squirting the water into his mouth.
"That's what good pussy tastes like."
"God, shut up." Taehyung begged Jackson, who huffed and turned away.
"Are you guys going for that Spring Prom shit?" Yoongi asked the guys, who hummed, some sounding annoyed. "Yeah. My girlfriend's making me. I rather stay in and fuck, but-"
"Tell me about it, bro. Talked to this girl one fucking time and suddenly I'm her boyfriend. She's making me go too. But we might have sex after, so I'm doing it." Another guy said.
"I'm going with Jungkook." Sehun said off-handedly, looking into space. Taehyung ignored how those simple words made it feel like someone straight up STABBED him.
"Dude... y'know ever since I've stopped thinking being gay was weird.... I realized liking dudes isn't much different than liking girls. Like, there are some dudes who are like... hella cute and shit. But I don't wanna date 'em. Y'know?" Jackson voiced. The boys snickered, some grimaced as if saying we don't know.
"You're probably just bicurious." Taehyung mumbled, and the guys looked at him, saw him wiping his sweat off with a towel. "Like you're straight but are into having sex with dudes too."
"Woah. That's a thing? Holy shit, I've been confused as fuck these past few weeks." Jackson gasped, and Taehyung hummed.
Sehun suddenly got up and left. Taehyung ignored him. He heard a gasp. "What does it mean if I like dick in my mouth?"
"You're fucking gay Bambam."
"Would you guys ever hook up with a dude? Like, for experimentation and shit?" Namjoon asked.
Jimin hummed. "Yeah. I wouldn't mind. How do I know I don't like it if I've never tried it?"
"Just like I know I wouldn't like your mom's pussy in my face."
"Fuck you."
"I guess I'd only hook up with a dude if I was really really into him. Not just like that." Mark mumbled, sounding weary.
"What about you, V?" Jin asked, looking at him. Taehyung looked at him, casually. He opened his mouth to speak. Right when he was about to-
"Guys Jungkook got us cookies," Sehun said brightly.
Taehyung didn't hear. "Nah I'd never fuck a dude. That's fucking gay, bro. I'm not into that kind of-"
Jimin coughed VERY loudly. Taehyung turned and saw Jungkook right behind him. Taehyung widened his eyes.
"Oh." Taehyung let out. Jungkook looked in disbelief. Taehyung's breath hitched. "Hey, um-"
"Seriously?" Jungkook asked, voice small. "Still?"
"Jungkook-" Taehyung tried, but Jungkook just snickered humorlessly and then moved away from Taehyung, grabbing Sehun.
"Meet me after practice." Jungkook said softly, and then kissed him on the mouth and turned around by the hell, walking away. Taehyung saw him walking away and sighed.
Jimin walked up to Taehyung after Sehun walked away, oblivious. Jimin looked at Taehyung. "How the fuck do you further fuck up something already so fucked up?"
"I don't know." Taehyung breathed out, and Jimin just shook his head, letting the boy deal with this mess himself. Taehyung saw Jungkook walk off the field as if he was disappointed, but not surprised.
"Boys, back on the field. Last one here has to take 3 laps-" Coach began, and all the boys got up and ran. Taehyung walked slowly, knowing he'd end up doing laps anyway because he stays back after practice to practice more these days.
"Okay boys. We've been target practicing to perfect our kick. And, I'll be honest, ya'll suck." Coach said, and the boys hung their heads low. "Like WOW. None of you hit the target even ONCE."
Taehyung pushed past the group of boys huddled in a circle and faced the open goal post which had the red circle in front of it. Still? Jungkook's words rang in his head. Taehyung saw the ball in front of it, and then took a few steps back.
Taehyung clenched his jaw and locked his ankle, eyes boring into the ball in front of him. He took a chaste step forward, hitting his planter foot to the right of the ball. His foot needed to control how the ball moved, rather than letting the ball control his foot-
Taehyung kicked the ball forcefully, feeling the power gliding smoothly down his calf to his foot as it merged with the ball and sent it spiralling towards the net. It hit the target perfectly.
The boys saw that and started clapping and shouting, some telling the coach that he took the L. Coach watched Taehyung and smirked, and Taehyung turned around and saw the boys.
"You're seriously as good as the pros," Youngjae said excitedly.
"We're so going to win our next match!" Hoseok said, jumping up and down.
Sehun suddenly shouted. Everyone froze and looked at him. Sehun groaned, putting his hands on his face.
"What're you doing, Coach?" Sehun asked, voice low. "Why'd you make me Captain?" Sehun asked wearily. Everyone widened their eyes, and Taehyung tensed.
"You alright kid?" Coach asked, and Sehun shook his head. He shook his head and then reached his hands behind his back and took his jersey off. He took the red material off and then chucked it on the floor.
"I don't want to be captain anymore. Not when V's clearly so much fucking better than me. It's not fair to him nor to the team." Sehun snapped, and Taehyung was frozen, eyes wide.
"Oh." Taehyung breathed out. Sehun was shirtless now, and breathed heavily. "I don't want to take something away from someone if it clearly belongs to them. And the position of Captain clearly belongs to you," Sehun said, and picked his jersey up and handed it to Taehyung.
"This is... really. Really fucking sick, dude." Taehyung said softly, in awe. "Fuck. I could kiss you right now." Taehyung grumbled to himself.
"R-really?" Sehun asked, eyes growing wide, glittering, cheeks turning a bit pink. Taehyung frowned at that.
"What? No. It was a fucking hyperbole- anyways! Thank you, Sehun. But I don't think Coach can-" Taehyung began, and then he heard a groan.
"Come on, coach! V should be Captain again! He's nice now, too! He apologised to Youngjae."
"He did WHAT?! Holy shit, he has changed!" Coach gasped, and then looked at Taehyung, who was gulping. "Look, kid. I have to discuss this with the principal-"
"Becoming Captain would help me get into a good school, coach." Taehyung said softly, hands coiled, eyes big. He reminded the coach of the kid he met four years ago, with ruffled brown hair and big brown saddened eyes, just sticking through because of the determination and passion he had for football.
"Jeez. Okay, um- I'll hold a vote tomorrow. After discussing it with the principal." Coach promised, patting Taehyung's back. "Now get back to practice!"
Taehyung smiled, and looked at Sehun, snickering. "You taking your shirt off was useless, by the way. This jersey has your name on it. Plus I still have my Captain's jersey-"
"It still made the statement though- you can't deny that." Sehun said, and then tugged his jersey back on.
"Thanks." Taehyung mumbled, looking away. He could never looked someone in the eyes while saying something nice to them.
"No problem. Consider it an apology for what I did... before." Sehun mumbled, and then chuckled awkwardly and ran away, flustered. Taehyung sighed to himself, coiling his fists.
I'm in love with your boyfriend, Taehyung wanted to shout out. But he didn't. Instead, he felt something. Certain confident courage he'd always had coursing through his veins.
///
"I'm sorry," Taehyung said two days later to Jungkook, who he found alone in the washroom, standing in front of the mirror.
"I'm not the person you should be apologizing to." Jungkook said softly, and then turned around and walked away- and that was the only interaction they had.
And then two days after that, Taehyung lifted his head up and saw Jungkook standing in front of his food table.
"Yourself. Apologize to yourself." Jungkook stated simply. Taehyung was confused, but Jungkook turned around and left, leaving him like that, with only those few words to hang on by.
The week passed like that. With a certain fog in Taehyung's mind. He thought about what Jungkook said. Apologize to yourself. He didn't quite understand. He wanted to know more, but Jungkook did tell him to leave him alone.
Taehyung saw Jungkook by the lockers and walked up to him, opening the locker beside him (even though it was Yoongi's, but, whatever) and hesitated.
"Why can't things go back to normal?" Taehyung asked aloud.
"I don't know what normal is with you." Jungkook said, and then walked past him. Taehyung closed his locker in front of him, leaning against it and sighing out.
Their next conversation was the night before the prom.
"Will you ever forgive me for hurting you?" Taehyung asked, standing by the water fountain. Jungkook was also by the water fountain, and Taehyung saw his fingers tighten around the ceramic sink.
"I already have." Jungkook breathed out softly, and then leaned down to the water fountain to get water between his pretty lips.
"Why're you with Sehun?" Taehyung asked, puzzled, leaning against the pillar which was attached to the water fountain/
"I like him."
"You don't."
"You sound quite certain for someone who's so shit with their feelings." Jungkook said sharply, and then brought his head up to look at Taehyung, who had a blank expression on his face. "Sorry," Jungkook said quicker, turning around and walking away, again.
The night of the prom arrived.
Taehyung stood in front of his mirror, looking at himself. He was wearing a white shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows, making his veins prominent. Along with that, he wore black trousers. It was simple, but honestly, he was only going because Yoongi promised he'd give him weed after.
He heard a sharp knock on the door. Taehyung was confused as to who would come to his dorm, and opened the door, and saw Eka and Jimin. Taehyung's eyebrow rose at them.
"You guys look good. Shit, is it so fancy?" Taehyung asked, annoyed. Eka was wearing a tight silver dress, short and lifting her boobs up, her eyeliner sharp and lipstick black. Jimin had his hair swept back, showing his forehead. He was wearing a red suit.
"It is. You're not wearing that." Eka said, turning Taehyung around and pushing him into his bedroom.
"I literally don't give a fuck about this prom. I'm single and sad and want to get high." Taehyung protested.
"What the fuck is on your head," Jimin stated while looking up at Taehyung. Taehyung sighed. "It's a Gucci headband. I like wasting my dad's money."
"Understandable. Put this on." Eka said, having opened Taehyung's closet and taken out a black suit jacket. She handed it to Taehyung, who rolled his eyes and shrugged the suit jacket on.
"Here." Jimin said, picking out a Rolex watch from his desk and handing it to him. Taehyung wrapped it around his wrist, and then snickered to himself. "What?" Jimin asked, and Taehyung shook his head.
("You look hot as fuck in a suit." Jungkook said, eyes wide as he wrung his fingers around Taehyung's wrist. "C-can you fuck me with it on?"
"I can and I will.")
"Nothing. Just reminiscing the past." Taehyung said, and Eka huffed. "Dramatic bitch. Now come on." Eka said, walking out of Taehyung's dorm.
"You look hot as fuck, Eka." Taehyung said, putting his hands in his pocket. "In a friend kinda way."
"Thanks. I know." Eka said, and Taehyung snickered. Jimin eyed him and glared. Taehyung rolled his eyes.
They walked to the sports hall, where the Spring Prom was taking place. The student council went overboard with this Prom stuff. Decorating the hallways weeks before. Putting big banners which said 'SPRING PROM!' on them. Announcing it every goddamn day on the speakers.
When they walked into the sports hall, they saw it completely decorated. The sides of the walls were lined with paper mache trees which had pink blossoms on it. It looked pretty. Taehyung couldn't remember what the room looked like before, in fact. The tables on the side were lined with food and drinks. No alcohol, but someone always snuck it in. Teachers stood by the side, talking to themselves and looking around to make sure no one was doing anything wrong. There was a stage against the wall, some music nerds standing on it, playing music for the event. Everyone who went to the school was there, practically. People were dancing, talking with their friends, or just having a good time.
"Wow," Eka murmered, and the three walked into the room, looking around. Taehyung was bored already. "Why'd you guys come to my room by the way? Did you, like, know I was going to underdress?"
"No. You've just been upset for the past few... weeks. We were making sure you were actually coming. Yoongi told us about how he made you believe he had weed-"
"He was lying? Motherfucker. I'm leaving." Taehyung said, turning around sharply. The moment he did, he froze.
Jungkook stood by the entrance, looking around with his big curious eyes. He looked nervous, palpable hesitance showing from his stance. He was wearing a silky white shirt which was tucked into his tight black trousers, accentuating his waist. He wore a floral suit jacket and a choker.
"Wow," Taehyung let out this time, already feeling his insides going weak. Taehyung didn't see Eka and Jimin beside him give each other a knowing look, and then look ahead at Jungkook, who spotted the three.
"Hi!" Jungkook said, smiling and running up to them, looking less tense when he saw them. "Y-you said to meet me by the entrance." Jungkook said softly.
Taehyung wanted to give him a thousand kisses. "Sorry, Kookie. We came in. Doesn't this place look beautiful?" Jimin asked.
"Yeah! They're really going deep with this spring theme thingy," Jungkook giggled. Taehyung wanted to give him a million kisses now.
Jungkook looked at Taehyung, and tensed. Taehyung didn't know why. It was probably his presence. So Taehyung just gave the boy a small smile and turned around to walk away and find the other guys.
Jungkook, meanwhile, let out a small sigh. "He looks so good." Jungkook murmered to himself, voice gentle. "I wish he didn't."
"I know, baby. Don't think about him, okay?" Eka said, and Jungkook nodded. "Where's Sehun?" Eka asked, looking around.
"I'm here, bitches." Sehun said, and Jungkook looked at him and then rose his eyebrows. Sehun was in a bright blue suit and a black shirt and tie, smirking at them.
"Hey babe," Jungkook said to Sehun, who walked over to him, leaning down to kiss his mouth. Jungkook turned his head so Sehun could kiss his cheek instead. Sehun did, and then leaned back, scowling.
"You look... nice." Jungkook said.
"You too." Sehun mumbled. Jimin sighed, breathing out from the heavy tension in the room.
"Wow. Okay- um! Let's dance!"
The four began dancing away. Jennie, Jisoo, Lisa, and Rose joined the four, along with Yugyeom and Bambam. Jimin looked to Rose with a small smile, dancing closer to her. Jungkook was having fun, until he felt his hips being grabbed.
Jungkook got dragged to a body, and then realised Sehun had his chest pressed against his back. "You look pretty." Sehun said, kissing his neck, rolling his hips onto his back. Jungkook smiled at him, dancing back.
Sehun turned the boy around and then grabbed his waist. He reached down, kissing Jungkook's lips. Jungkook pulled away and then looked to the other side so Sehun wouldn't do that again.
"What's wrong?" Sehun asked, frowning. Jungkook shook his head, giving Sehun a smal smile. "Nothing," Jungkook reassured, putting his hands on Sehun's arms.
Jungkook looked to the side and saw Taehyung, leaning again a wall, sulking. Taehyung shifted his eyes around the room and then caught them with Jungkook's. Jungkook felt Sehun tighten his grip on his waist, and Jungkook just looked at Taehyung.
Sehun kissed Jungkook's jaw. "Do you wanna go to my room after this?"
Jungkook saw Taehyung give him a certain look. Jungkook wanted to move his eyes away, but couldn't. Suddenly, he felt a jolt through his body and turned his head, eyes widened when he was pushed back.
"What's your problem?" Sehun snapped, and Jungkook stilled. Sehun looked annoyed, eyes darkened, eyebrows furrowed.
"Nothing! I-" Jungkook began, but then saw his friends looking at the two weirdly. Sehun must've seen the same, because he grabbed Jungkook by the forearm and dragged him out of the sports hall.
Jungkook stumbled after him. "Se-Sehun-" Jungkook said, and then suddenly felt a shift as he moved out of the loud pink lightened room into the dark, vacant hallway. Sehun pulled him till the side and then let him go.
"What is it? You've been weird since we started dating- so fucking on and off. One second you want me, and another you're weirded out and want me to go away. I'm just trying to wrap my fucking head around all this, Jungkook- because- because you say you want me, but-"
"I'm sorry, o-okay? There's just a lot of things that have been going on-" Jungkook stammered.
"Then talk to me about them! I've asked you to at least try and open up to me so many times! But you just refuse to! Is it something wrong with me?" Sehun asked, frowning.
"N-no. No, you're perfect-" Jungkook said softly.
Sehun looked helpless. "Then what is it? Why did you get back together with me if you were going to treat me like shit after? You were so rude to me, and don't even talk to me sometimes when we're with Eka and Jimin. It's really awkward, Jungkook, to pretend I'm alright-"
"I'm sorry!" Jungkook cried out, and then stopped, looking at Sehun with watery eyes. The way Sehun was describing him reminded Jungkook of Taehyung.
"I-I'm sorry for- for being so weird. I just- I-I don't know, Sehun. I want to like you, I r-really do. I just can't fucking get over someone and it's r-ruining everything for me. I'm sorry." Jungkook let out, voice bubbly, as if close to crying.
Sehun tensed, and then looked down at his shoes, gulping a lump in his throat. "It's V, isn't it?"
Jungkook began crying, reaching his hands to his face to stop them, to try his hardest to stop them. Jungkook shook his head. "N-no. I don't- I am over him. I am."
"You like him." Sehun said, looking away. "He likes you too-"
"No Sehun. He d-doesn't. He just wants to have sex with me, that's all-" Jungkook tried, but Sehun snickered, looking away.
"That night. That night when we first had sex. When you left suddenly to comfort V- did you two do anything?" Sehun asked, fingers coiled. Jungkook sniffled. "Because the next day you were all fucking over him-"
"Sehun-"
"So he wants you for sex, huh? And you're still hung over him? Even though you have guys who like you for you?" Sehun asked, and Jungkook looked down, clenching his fists and shutting his eyes. "That's pretty fucking pathetic, Kook."
"I know. Stop telling me, p-please." Jungkook tried, and Sehun tsked.
"I don't want to be rude. You just made me feel so fucking shit for the past few weeks. If you just told me I was a fucking rebound for an asshole-"
"Y-you w-weren't-"
"-I wouldn't have ever asked you out. You probably just did it to make him jealous. I'm so fucking stupid." Sehun muttered under his breath, looking away. "Well, honestly- I don't care much. You're hung over a dude who's probably going to slap you across the face when you say no to him-"
"He wouldn't!" Jungkook cried, tears rushing down his face. Sehun looked at him, pausing. "H-he wouldn't fucking do that! You don't know him, no one does! I don't either, o-okay? I thought I did- I-I thought I knew him, b-but I don't! And I'm still in love with him, i-is that what you want me to tell you?" Jungkook shouted, voice breaking.
"I f-fell in love for a guy who doesn't give ha-half a shit about me. And I'm sorry." Jungkook squeaked out weakly. Sehun let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Jungkook felt the warm tears running down his face and put his hand over his mouth, shoulders trembling.
"I'm sorry. I-I need to go. I'll ask Jimin and Eka to come here-" Sehun said, and Jungkook didn't care, just slid down the wall, sitting down on the floor like the fucking mess he was- tears running down his face.
Jungkook sat there for a bit, crying softly. He felt the same feeling he had back when Taehyung told him he didn't mean anything to him. When Jungkook found him sleeping with Eka, and Taehyung slammed the door in his face. So fucking hurt.
"Kookie," A soft voice came, and Jungkook looked up.
Taehyung had his eyes big, looking at the pretty boy on the floor, tears in his eyes and stains of it weaving a path down his cheeks. Taehyung had one hand in his pocket, heart thudding as he crouched down to face him.
"K-Kookie, you-"
"Don't." Jungkook said, and then closed his eyes. Taehyung didn't push him. He just looked at him. "P-please. Leave me be."
"Not when you're like this, I can't." Taehyung said softly.
"God f-fucking damnit, Taehyung- stop pretending you c-care about me! You'll j-just lead me on to hurt me again. You don't know how I felt for those two months w-we spent together, Tae. You don't. Just. Please go." Jungkook said meekly, sniffling and looking up at the ceiling.
"I-I do care." Taehyung said, but he sounded hesitant, and it made Jungkook chuckle.
"You still think you're straight, Tae." Jungkook let out, voice weak. "You're far from being able to care about me."
Taehyung froze. He looked at Jungkook, who stood up from the floor, eyes slightly red from the tears. Taehyung's breath hitched, and then he let out- "I-I'm so fucking scared, Kookie. I'm not as- as brave as you. I never will be."
"T-then come meet me when you are." Jungkook stated, and then left, leaving Taehyung in the hallway.
Jungkook walked back in the sports hall, probably to tell Jimin and Eka of where he was, they were probably worried. Taehyung tightened his fists. He couldn't describe it. Couldn't describe the absolute fear that reaped through his body at the thought of-
At the thought of what?
Was it of everyone finding out?
Was that what he was afraid of?
Or was it something bigger than that? His mother, his father, what they'd taught him. What his mother had left him with. That fear that he was doing what she would've resented.
But at the fleeting moment, at that split second, that passing of time when the moon glowed outside like a watchful guardian- Taehyung realized. He rose to his feet, standing up. His heart drummed loudly against his chest, as if on beat, heightening his senses and telling him to hurry up. He was running out of time.
Taehyung took a step forward, towards the sports hall. Jungkook. His beautiful eyes, how they looked like they'd been dipped in honey and the core of sunlight. How his giggles sounded like that of harmonious angels. How his smile would always make Taehyung feel so much... better.
Something he hadn't felt since his mother had died. A sense of belonging. Home.
Taehyung walked towards the sports hall and entered it, seeing people still dancing, some chill song playing. Taehyung couldn't find Jungkook. His heart was racing. His anxiety was brimming at the bottom of his stomach.
He felt, at that moment, like he could do anything.
Taehyung felt absolute impulse take him over. Adrenaline started pumping down his body, the same he felt at football matches. This felt like a football match, except the goal was something different, and his aim was fucking terrible.
Taehyung let go. He ran straight forward and jumped onto the stage, startling the dudes in the band. They all looked at Taehyung, who carelessly grabbed the microphone from the lead singer, some kid from the grade below. The kid looked annoyed, but Taehyung mumbled "It'll only take a minute."
The band stopped playing, and everyone groaned, annoyed that the music stopped. Taehyung cleared his throat into the microphone, and then took a deep breath. "Shut up!" Taehyung shouted loudly, and everyone in the room shook.
Everyone went silent and turned to look at him with wide eyes, as if wondering why the fuck he was yelling while standing on a stage. Taehyung looked around, and then spotted Jungkook. The boy was facing away, grabbing his phone and trying to walk over to the exit.
"Wait." Taehyung said, and Jungkook paused and looked at him, a blank expression on his face. He looked annoyed.
Taehyung looked around. "Hi guys." Taehyung said, seeing all these kids he'd seen every day for the past three years. "This- this prom is cool, right? Like the- um- flowers and stuff." Taehyung stammered, and then cleared his throat.
"Okay. Hello. I've never formally introduced myself. Most of you know me as V. Captain of the football team." Taehyung said, and saw Sehun in the back of the room, frowning as well. Taehyung took a deep breath, seeing all the students looking at him with wide eyes. "But- but most of you don't know my real name."
Taehyung gulped. "I'm Taehyung. Kim Taehyung." Taehyung said, and there was a hushed whisper that fell across the room. He'd never said his full name out loud like this.
"Most of you know me as that asshole that bullies you, probably. Fair enough. I've made mistakes. A lot of them." Taehyung said. "I don't expect to be forgiven. I just want you to know I'm trying. And I'm changing, and growth is- is normal. It's normal." Taehyung said, nodding.
Everyone looked confused, still. They wanted to start dancing again, probably. But most actually looked intrigued, never having seen the guy speak more than 3 words at best which weren't insults.
"I'm standing here right now because I made a mistake. A really big one." Taehyung said, shaking his head. "I hurt someone. Badly. I hurt someone over and over again, and I shouldn't have. By the time I realized how much the person meant to me, it was too late." Taehyung mumbled, and everyone looked more confused.
Taehyung looked around, and then spotted Jungkook standing beside his friends, just the hint of confusion on his face. Not like the others, though. A more of disbelief.
Taehyung scratched his head, and then sighed loudly. "God, there's so many of you. I swear it's like the new crop of freshmen are, like, so goddamn small. I was so much taller when I was your age, what the hell-" Taehyung mumbled, and then looked around, hearing some laughs.
"I'm rambling, fuck. Shit! Sorry, forgot I couldn't swear. Ah damn, I swore again. Fuck-" Taehyung began, and then hit his head with the mic, and looked ahead, taking a deep breath.
Fuck it. Nothing matters. Not as much as him. Nothing has ever mattered as much as he has. "I'm sort of in love with someone." Taehyung let out, and there were gasps that spread across the room.
Taehyung couldn't see Jungkook's eyes- didn't want to, in fact. "I'm sort of, really, really fucking madly in love with someone. And that someone is standing here right now, and god-" Taehyung let out a chuckle, covering his face. "You'd never think I'd be the type to- to stand on a goddamn stage in the middle of what looks like actual fairy shit and confess my love to someone, but-"
Taehyung looked ahead, and then found Jungkook. Jungkook had his eyes widened, mouth slightly agape. Taehyung smiled. "You change me." Taehyung said, words soft. "You m-make me... a better version of myself. I'm not mean when I'm with you. I'm not sad. I'm not an asshole. You make me study harder, you make me play harder, you make me... harder." Taehyung said the last part, and then started laughing.
"Shit- I just realised there's, like, 200 other people in here. I'm kidding! Don't have sex till marriage! Or, do. I don't know. Sorry Ms. Yang!" Taehyung said, and everyone started laughing. Fuck, he was going crazy. He couldn't get a hold of himself, but suddenly- suddenly it felt like he was so free. So free, so free from everything that's ever been holding him back-
"You know what else?" Taehyung asked, looking around the room. "I'm bisexual!" Taehyung shouted out, and everyone shut up real fast.
Literally EVERYONE's eyes widened and jaws dropped. Girls he'd slept with looked surprised, guys he'd bullied looked mad, people who didn't know him looked shocked. His own friends looked the most shocked.
"Yeah! I like girls, and I like guys. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like, at all. Wow. Oh my god. I said it out loud." Taehyung let out, whispered. "Fuck, okay. Shit. Yeah. It's out there. I'm bisexual. I'm bi-fucking-sexual. I'm so fucking bisexual. Wow. WOW-"
"Dude. The teachers are gonna cut the sound off any minute. Stop swearing." The lead singer dude whispered, and Taehyung nodded.
"Oh- okay okay. Sorry. No more swearing." Taehyung agreed, and then looked ahead and saw Jungkook standing behind Jimin, looking nervous, eyes wide, hands bunched up into fists.
Taehyung looked around. "I've never spoken so much. I just- I can't believe this. I feel so free, y'know? Like- like I'm high as hell, but sober. Not that I know what being high feels like, Ms. Yang don't worry." Taehyung reassured, laughing.
"Who are you in love with?" A voice shouted from the audience, and Taehyung looked.
Taehyung gulped. He leaned into the mic. "A boy." He whispered, and gasps spread across the room again. Taehyung giggled at how surprised everyone looked. "I'm so in love with him, you guys. He's the prettiest boy in the whole goddamn world. Maybe universe. Haven't seen aliens yet. Actually- scratch that. He's the prettiest boy in the universe."
Jungkook hid behind Jimin properly now, hands covering his face, his whole body trembling lightly. Taehyung gulped. Here goes.
"I'm Kim Taehyung." Taehyung said, voice clear. "I'm bisexual." Taehyung said, and then smiled. "And I'm so goddamn in love with Jeon Jungkook."
People literally started screaming. Jungkook squeaked out in surprise and got pushed out into the center by Jimin and Eka, who both looked thrilled as hell. Jungkook still had his face covered, because everyone was looking at him, eyes wide, mouths wider.
"He's WHAT?!" Yoongi shouted from the side, slapping a hand over his mouth.
"Oh my fucking god." Jin whispered, eyes wide. "Oh my god oh my GOD-"
"Guys someone drugged Taehyung and put him on that stage." Namjoon said. It was the only explanation.
"This is brilliant." Yugyeom whispered, eyes glazed. Bambam grimaced. "I fucking knew it. He always looked at him weird."
Taehyung looked at Jungkook, heart racing rapidly, stomach making a thousand turns a second. "Baby?" Taehyung said softly, not caring how that made everyone go even more in shock. "I-I can see you, you know that, right?" Taehyung chuckled fondly.
Jungkook put his hands down, blushing brightly. His eyes were filled with tears, fists clenched beside him. People had moved out of the way, so there was a clear spacing between the stage and where Jungkook was stood, so the boys could see each other clearly.
"Jeon Jungkook." Taehyung whispered into the mic. "I know- I know I'm the biggest douchebag you ever met. I hurt you. I was an asshole." Taehyung said, suddenly growing fearful. "I'm so fucking sorry, baby." Taehyung said, voice weak.
Jungkook just sniffled from where he was stood, cheeks so pink and fists so tightly clenched that he couldn't speak. Everyone was staring between him and Taehyung in awe, surprised, shocked, just couldn't believe that V, the homophobic fuck boy captain of the football team- was out here passionately declaring his love for a boy.
"R-right before I got on this stage, I thought about how you came out to everyone. Always so ridden by impulse, my Jungkookie," Taehyung said with a small fond smile, and people aww'ed. Jungkook bit his lip, looking down.
"So, I'm going to ask this. I'm really really really fucking scared." Taehyung admitted, and then took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.
Be brave. Taehyung opened his eyes. "Jeon Jungkook?" Taehyung whispered, voice barely coherent. "Will you be my boyfriend?"
https://jeontaeh.tumblr.com/post/647264967393984512/forty
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Text
bythepowerof4
uuuggggggggggghghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
ugggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
nickatnightwalker
good morning sunshine
bythepowerof4
very very bad morning. day. all of it :/
nickatnightwalker
im trying to feel compassion but you did kind of do it to yourself
bythepowerof4
do what???
bythepowerof4
i didn't get fucked bro i was only a little off lmao
i just had like. a bad time ):
nickatnightwalker
oh is this not a hangover moaning
bythepowerof4
god i wish
nickatnightwalker
what happened
as far as i could tell you stayed clothed so whatre the regrets
bythepowerof4
i did lmao. ok like
ur ego is probably swelling in the wake of everyone's poor decision making, but would it inflate it more if i said u were right all along
nickatnightwalker
my ego's already reached terminal velocity youre gonna have to be more specific about what i was right about
bythepowerof4
etsuko :/
bythepowerof4
and prom. and prom with etsuko
nickatnightwalker
/fuck/ yes i knew it
and it's a bad thing because you dont know what to say, yeah?
bythepowerof4
fuck oooooooffffffffffffffffffff
yeah :/
but it's also a bad thing cause she was fucking smashed and wanted to kiss me and chucked on my shoes and oh my god
nickatnightwalker
oh smooth
that's a definite winner as far as first moves go
bythepowerof4
haha yeah
ok but i think maybe it wasn't the first move??? and i missed the others cause im an idiot i guess??? and she was so weird and sad and i feel like shit
nickatnightwalker
no in all seriousness i obviously have a bias but good things have come from worst first moves
it's not your fault you didnt know something she didnt say
if she's sad you didnt pick up on it that blows but it's not on you
bythepowerof4
fuck lmao u are the expert :p
and yeah. are you like. very sure im in the clear bc idk tbh
i got kinda pissy and im still kinda pissy cause she said weird things about me and also daisy but like, we're friends and i think i was harsh
nickatnightwalker
it's not your fault for not being a mind reader
bythepowerof4
i wish i was they need a class for that here. everyone wants you to be a fucking mind reader
nickatnightwalker
oh what am i gonna have to stuff somebodys second mouth with newspaper and make them smell a jockstrap or what
bythepowerof4
no you are not and none of this leaves this chat ok!!!!
nickatnightwalker
yes yeah but do i have to kill her or what i already gave thiren the flu this school year im comin in hot
bythepowerof4
was that you holy shit
she shared her flask you gave it like everyone lmaoooo
but wait no no killing!!!!
she was just like. idk im kinda fuzzy on the deets but she acted like she was scared of like. breaking girl code. getting up on some other girls territory
i think she actually said territory which made me feel very gross and i still do actually wow
nickatnightwalker
i didnt make anyone share her bottle im innocent of everyone else getting sick alright
also what the fuck
girl code? territory??
bythepowerof4
i know girl code is strange and mysterious to us both but it was still. weird
bythepowerof4
she thought she couldn't say anything cause of daisy i think. cause she brought it up before i even said shit i think???
nickatnightwalker
girl code is not a thing
bythepowerof4
i think it's shorthand for like basic decency
nickatnightwalker
alls fair in love and war motherfucker if you and someone else like the same person whoever wins wins theres no playing nice
playing nice is like, insulting
nickatnightwalker
you like who you like and someone bowing out for someone else isnt fair to you
just saying
bythepowerof4
:/
nickatnightwalker
im serious it's wildly outdated and treats you like something that someone has a right to
bythepowerof4
like territory
nickatnightwalker
very uncool
bythepowerof4
its not her fault i think im making it sound worse than it is
nickatnightwalker
to be totally fair probably she thinks you like daisy and didnt want to get in the way which is respectable and respectful and a different story but
territory is very uncool
bythepowerof4
yeah i think that's closer
idk i barely have it in me to be confused about one girl this sucks
talking to people sucks i don't know what's going on
nickatnightwalker
you dont like
have to know whats going on
bythepowerof4
it clearly helps
nickatnightwalker
like. not to be fake deep but feelings arent easy to parse like, ever
sometimes it takes a long time
so just
chill
it's not a big deal to not know what to say the second someone comes on to you
bythepowerof4
i did say things though
like a few things and i think they were kinda mean
like youre right but it Sucks !!
nickatnightwalker
ok. ok like. being mean may have cut that option off for you you know that right
bythepowerof4
oh my god
bythepowerof4
oh my god fuck
nickatnightwalker
dont freak
bythepowerof4
shes not an option she's just my friend which means i shouldn't be mean yeah
way too late
nickatnightwalker
on a scale of 1 to 10 how bitchy were you
also if shes like. not an option. and just your friend. isnt that kind of your answer clea. like i dont mean to point out the obvious or sway you in any way but im not getting strong yes vibes from this strongly negative reaction
bythepowerof4
i don't know!!! i don't know it happened very fast i think i called her dumb
nickatnightwalker
ouch
bythepowerof4
and got pissy about like. how we are Always Doing This
nickatnightwalker
what, throwing up on each other
bythepowerof4
her throwing up on me yes
nickatnightwalker
ok i can see how thats a bit of a turn of
*off
bythepowerof4
this has like. happened and i think it's bad which means i should have been nicer about it
nickatnightwalker
youre really being so vague right now
you mean shes tried to tell you before or what
bythepowerof4
i mean she's gotten off her fucking face and started crying before
and i just like, take her to the dorm or back to mine and its like. idk
nickatnightwalker
right
you dont love it
nickatnightwalker
is what im gathering
bythepowerof4
no i think
i think i think it's kinda nice sometimes cause i like helping her and that's really really bad
nickatnightwalker
it's bad that you like helping her
im just trying to get this right have patience with me
bythepowerof4
well yeah if she needs to need help before i can help her
nickatnightwalker
oooooookay well it's not like youre sabotaging her just to get your hero rocks off
bythepowerof4
that sounds even worse thank you
nickatnightwalker
youre not, are you?
bythepowerof4
i don't think so but like
bythepowerof4
i didn't stop her or anything
nickatnightwalker
youre not her babysitter
bythepowerof4
i was um. distracted but i shoulda right
nickatnightwalker
if you wanna help her outta the goodness of your heart thats good for you but youre not her babysitter
i let damian and daisy both make turds of themselves last night
bythepowerof4
they weren't even drinking that's different
nickatnightwalker
yeah, they did that shit sober
and i still didnt try to stop them
dude, my guy, bro
youre your own responsibility ok
nickatnightwalker
youre not her mom
bythepowerof4
im her friend!!!! friends look out for each other and stuff!!!!!
and if im apparently leading her on or something and making her feel like she can't talk to me and letting her get all messy and miserable then im a bad friend and im upset about it!!
nickatnightwalker
1. leading someone on kind of has to be intentional, otherwise youre just like, being crush-worthy by being yourself
2. friends arent moms
3. moms are a social construct anyway
4. you dont "let" her get anything youre not in chargeof her
cmon clea youre takng on way more of this than you should
feel bad she feels bad if you want to but guilt doesnt factor into this
bythepowerof4
you're like. way too rational
you're making it very hard to be hysterical
that's a compliment i think but im mad about it lmao :/
nickatnightwalker
my job is to be rational about everyones problems except my own
nickatnightwalker
thats my niche in the social hierarchy
bythepowerof4
big words from the guy trying to decimate my well meaning babysitter niche !!
if you ever need someone to be hysterical about your problems know that im here for you
nickatnightwalker
i have no problems my life is a glittering utopia compared to the dumpster fire of your last night and today apparently
nickatnightwalker
like i cant make your decisions for you or anything but before you do make one id seriously advise you to work on not taking responsibility for etsuko's life and bad choices cause that way lies a really fucking miserable relationship
bythepowerof4
lmao liar!! everyone has problems and i'll be personally offended if you don't at some point dump them on me like im doing right now to you. two way street :p my advice might be less cool and wise and prophetic but like. still
its not like, a """decision""" anyway cause its not some weirdo love triangle bullshit. cause i dont like. maybe if she said something before or if u know?? if shit was different
but not now
the decisiony part is just how to undo the dumpster fire lmao. which i think. i can maybe do
idk thank u ur so good at this i hate you
nickatnightwalker
i gotta be real i have no idea what anything you just said meant
bythepowerof4
oh i thought i made sense that time :/
that sucks this sucks again
nickatnightwalker
is this a new kind of sucking
or is this the same suck as before
bythepowerof4
part of the same suck
cause i don't make , like. sense :/
nickatnightwalker
just that one part where you say youre not making a decision
cause you kinda got to
even if it's to do nothing
bythepowerof4
oh
ok yeah
nickatnightwalker
"cause i dont like. maybe if she said something before or if u know?? if shit was different" also this part
bythepowerof4
well im not doing nothing cause i don't wanna fight with/not talk to anyone and if i said i was thinking of waiting it out you'd tell me that's stupid lmao
and that parts just like. u know
bythepowerof4
what she wanted to do and whether i also wanted to do that thing
nickatnightwalker
idk i actually dont think waiting it out is a terrible idea in this case
at least until she's calmed down and youve had time to think about whether you also wanna do that thing
bythepowerof4
i don't think i do right now i thought i was making that part fairly clear
it's not like a hard no cause she's cool but i've got a lot going on rn lmao
bythepowerof4
ok so waiting. lmao can you be a mate and like buzz me when it's a good time to no longer be waiting
nickatnightwalker
no that part was fairly clear from the way this news didnt like, make you happy in the least
bythepowerof4
oh. yeah i guess? that could all be circumstances though
nickatnightwalker
it's been a couple days now probably tomorrows a good day to apologize for being bitchy
bythepowerof4
ok. ok i can do that !!!
nickatnightwalker
circumstances arent THAT much of a game changer when it comes to wanting a person to kiss you or not
also dont apologize for her getting drunk that was her choice dont be weird about it
bythepowerof4
barf mouth tho
bythepowerof4
and yeah ok i'll skip that part
nickatnightwalker
ok barf mouth is actually a good point
nickatnightwalker
but still easy enough to fix for it not to be a huge dealbreaker
bythepowerof4
oh hey ets yeah let's go get you some goddamn listerine, and i'll go change my shoes and then we'll meet back here in 15 for super scheduled smooching !!
no thank you!!!!
nickatnightwalker
do other people not do that
i feel like people do that
i personally have definitely sent people away for listerine
bythepowerof4
oh my god
and you can just?? get back in the moment like nothing happened???? i don't see it
nickatnightwalker
idk if theyre hot enough you can let a lot of stuff slide
bythepowerof4
oh bc ur sooooo hot enough that they let ur critiques on their hygiene slide :p
nickatnightwalker
you think im that tactless?
im fucking smooth people dont even notice it's insulting
bythepowerof4
is there a tactful way to send ppl off for mouthwash
nickatnightwalker
yeah, you tell them what they get when they come back
or pass em some gum and hope if it's not too bad
bythepowerof4
jesus
you really think you're all that !!!!!
nickatnightwalker
what it's not like im making this up when youre out sometimes people arent super picky ok
bythepowerof4
i believe you its just weird !! i thought people were picky as a rule and like, idk it sounds so awkward
nickatnightwalker
oh no absolutely people are not that picky all the time and if you wanna k iss someone you wanna kiss them and you'll wait if you gotta you see?
bythepowerof4
oh well duh im good on the waiting part lmao
which is why i would wait for a different time entirely when no ones barfy or critical :p im very patient!!!!
nickatnightwalker
right but you have to like. want to wait. and if you wanna wait then that should kinda clue you in
bythepowerof4
oh. yeah we're talking about that again ok
nickatnightwalker
it all comes back around theres no such thing as tangents
bythepowerof4
youre a terrible person i live off tangents
ok well. yeah no. i don't wanna
like a little but not enough. which i feel weirdly bad about but sure whatever brain!!
nickatnightwalker
no
no guilt over that
nickatnightwalker
not allowed
if etsuko's a half decent person i dont think she'd want you to feel guilty about that either
bythepowerof4
tell my brain that im trying !!
she wouldn't duh
i think she feels worse about it which makes me feel worse about it
nickatnightwalker
say it with me now
i am not responsible for someone else's feelings
now you
bythepowerof4
:/
i am not responsible for someone elses feelings
nickatnightwalker
yeah there you go
try this one
im not responsible for someone else's messy behavior
bythepowerof4
i am not responsible for someone elses messy behaviour even though if i can stop it i should probably try ok next
nickatnightwalker
nope
if you want to out of the goodness of your heart go for it but you have no responsibility to stop it
not even should
bythepowerof4
are you sure not even should that seems extreme
nickatnightwalker
no like it'd be nice of you but youre really NOT under any obligation
youre not her mom
nickatnightwalker
thatd be creepy and gross clea
bythepowerof4
not obligation just like the parameters of friendship
it's creepy and gross that u keep saying that!!
nickatnightwalker
it's creepy and gross that you feel like youve gotta babysit her
im just being real here
bythepowerof4
ughhhhhhhhhhhh i knew it i knew i was gross
it's not even her ok i would look out for you if you weren't so mr perfect perfect all the time!!!
nickatnightwalker
thats the first time ive ever been accused of that lemme bask in it for a second
ok im good
nickatnightwalker
clea that kinda sounds like an issue that's you-based and youre like, gonna get worn out and have a breakdown or something
nickatnightwalker
we're kids we're not old enough to take care of other people like that
bythepowerof4
i just. don't get why ur objecting to my like, decency
if you ever actually needed it then maybe you'd get it but you don't so it's fine!!
im not gonna have a breakdown i don't wanna have a breakdown
nickatnightwalker
im not objecting to decency im objecting to feeling guilty if you dont go out of your way for someone
not like i dont generally frown on decency anyway but thats not related
bythepowerof4
no tangents!!! everything is related :p
it's just. very hard ok
can't help it, didn't know it was weird, this is by and large new information
nickatnightwalker
i too like introspection better when someone else does it for me
bythepowerof4
god right
ppl should make a living off this
nickatnightwalker
i think that's called therapy
bythepowerof4
shit yeah
ok but who needs that
nickatnightwalker
apparently most of us
no shame
bythepowerof4
:(
i don't see you so much as going to the school counsellor
bythepowerof4
that sounds weird nvm
nickatnightwalker
well you got me there
but as we've established im perfect so
bythepowerof4
lmao right!! you should go to counselling and counsel the counsellor
nickatnightwalker
you think i could take that up as an extra curricular
beef up my resume
bythepowerof4
oh for sure
"browbeat a mental health professional into respecting my superior opinions" looks good to me
nickatnightwalker
i dont have to browbeat anyone into knowing im right
nickatnightwalker
are you like. good though
bythepowerof4
oh of course!!!! my mistake
bythepowerof4
oh um. yeah
like no but yeah
everything's just a lot u know
nickatnightwalker
it sounds like it
shes not like, on you about itthough right
bythepowerof4
no she hasn't said anything
which is worse
nickatnightwalker
shes probably mortified
wouldnt you be?
bythepowerof4
well. yeah i have some recent experience here actually so yeah i can imagine
bythepowerof4
shit
nickatnightwalker
of what? bein?
bythepowerof4
yeah
being drunk and dumb and um. misreading situations and friendship and liiiiiiiiike idk
being fucking mortified
it's this
nvm idk arrgggghhhhhhghhhhhh
nickatnightwalker
damn you had a busy summer huh
bythepowerof4
:////////
yeah kinda :/
nickatnightwalker
which is part of whats going on with etsukoe?
whyd i add an e
bythepowerof4
lol autocorrect always fucks with it its so annoying
ok i guess it's maybe related to the degree that everything, as we've established, is related
but i just had a uhhhhhh not so great time with my old friends
nickatnightwalker
you were drunk and misread a situation
bythepowerof4
not the alien kind the people kind
nickatnightwalker
were you the etsuko or teh clea
bythepowerof4
oh my god. i had, like, previously been the etsuko. but that was a while ago and not a big deal it just kinda came rushing back u know and then i realised she thinks im a freak and then i did freak in a full freak way cause my face kinda popped
nickatnightwalker
what
bythepowerof4
hey do you have any problems we can talk about instead this is terrible
nickatnightwalker
im very interested in what you mean by your face popping but ok
bythepowerof4
you know like
the glamour
its kinda like paper and im underneath very much not like paper
and then pop! no more paperface no more old friends
nickatnightwalker
oh fuck
hopefully they were all trashed too and just think they were drunk?
bythepowerof4
all of them?????
sharing the same weird drunk hallucination??????
bythepowerof4
that's like extreme sunnydale syndrome
nickatnightwalker
but it's so weird i doubt theyd wanna discuss it
because theyd be worry about sounding crazy
bythepowerof4
i guess
they're still gonna think it it's still how they're gonna picture me
bythepowerof4
and apparently they already thought i freaked and had to like go "somewhere" which i guess is true but i feel weird having ppl think of me like that
nickatnightwalker
just seeing you one weird brain glitchy time isnt gonna change what they think of forever
and i mean you could like. tell them you just transferred schools
like, tell them the partial truth
right?
bythepowerof4
i did idk i don't think she believes me
or like she does but she still thinks i had a breakdown???? i just don't get it ok im very put together
nickatnightwalker
youre more anxious than i am
bythepowerof4
what
no im not
pretend i put some sincerity exclamation marks there
nickatnightwalker
yeah you can see how thats not convincing though right
bythepowerof4
the exclamation marks? those are very convincing
also im not trying to be convincing bc it's just true. cause u like. Have anxiety right
nickatnightwalker
what
nickatnightwalker
no
im anxious about living in a magic school where everything and everyone can kill me
bythepowerof4
oh i just
you use the word anxious a lot that usually
sorry :/
nickatnightwalker
im like 85% sure you can be anxious without having anxiety
bythepowerof4
well yeah i just
im sorry u seemed really like
im gonna stop ok cool im very sorry
nickatnightwalker
im interested in how deep a hole you were going to dig for yourself
bythepowerof4
im not we should really move on
also you were the one saying it's perfectly believable that i would completely flip my shit so maybe i should be offended !!
nickatnightwalker
point was you seem really stressed like a lot
nickatnightwalker
youre kinda tightly wound clea like regardless of whatever i am you are kinda a little stressed all the time
bythepowerof4
ok well
im not
or like a little bit but i don't want people thinking of me like that so this also just sucks
nickatnightwalker
yeah, it sucks for people to think youre nuts, but that's kind of how it is if youre even a little bit weird out there, isnt it
bythepowerof4
yeah. that is how it is but it's oddly enough not making me feel better :/
hey ok im just gonna put these issues away bc i don't like them and i have to deal with the main problem bc ai is bugging me oh my GOD
bythepowerof4
please don't go trying to talk to ppl on my behalf bc it is apparently really annoying
nickatnightwalker
ai is bugging you
cupcake girl?
the plot thickens
bythepowerof4
she stopped its fine
i shouldn't even have said that she's just looking out for ets cause she's a good pal and stuff there's just like
a lot
nickatnightwalker
whatd she think she was gonna do change your mind
bythepowerof4
no she just asked why im mad so she could report back
and now im reporting back on her reporting back?? this is so high school i have a headache
nickatnightwalker
where is the self awareness with these people holy shit
bythepowerof4
i don't knooooooow im freaking out i don't like it
nickatnightwalker
wait why are you freaking out
youre not mad at etsuko, anymore, right? you can like. talk to her instead youre not beholden to ai's nosy ass
bythepowerof4
yeah i can but not yet because im talking to u and daisy kinda and ai and she's talking to ai and it's a lot of talking and i actually really have a headache
everything's all doubletriple
nickatnightwalker
wanna talk about something else
bythepowerof4
yes please
nickatnightwalker
uhhhh
i took a fuckload of martial arts classes over the summer and can now reliably flip people so thats cool
bythepowerof4
oh what that's so cool!!!!
is that who was in the back of some of ur pics?? like the class??
nickatnightwalker
oh yeah
and daisys ballet class is in some of them too
bythepowerof4
yeah i defs noticed that lmao
i dunno if i said enough but that was nice
like getting those
idk i missed you and now we're all back and im making it all drama!! instead of all chill
could u flip damian. hypothetically but also for demonstrations sake
nickatnightwalker
yes and yes
nickatnightwalker
the more important question is will i
the answer to which is also yes
dont feel bad about the drama it's actually really 100% not your fault
bythepowerof4
i know but telling you about it is on me lmao
text me when you're gonna there's no way you can do that without me there ok
nickatnightwalker
who says i cant do it multiple times
and idont mind you telling me either
everything's chill on my side so it's easier to sort of have perspective
bythepowerof4
if you do it multiple times i insist on being there for all of them sorry not sorry
yeah. perspective is good. you're good at that
bythepowerof4
>:/
nickatnightwalker
ill do it right the fuck now clea
bythepowerof4
omg really
omg please
nickatnightwalker
i would never lie about this
bythepowerof4
yes yesteryear you're so good i love u tell me where
*yesyesyes lol let me be excited autocorrect!!!!!
nickatnightwalker
i was wondering why you were talking like carolyn
ok were in front of artume lets do this
bythepowerof4
yessssssssss ill be right there
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It’s not just their interaction that matters, it’s seeing their actions whilst fully aware of their pasts to identify growth/change and how others can see their love even when they are not physically together: it’s in how Josie says ‘my father is a fool, one look at you and he should’ve known how this would end’, it’s in how Bellamy seems to ‘care about her more’ than everyone else he cares about (according to J, who is apparently great at reading people est. ep7). It’s how Russell says to Josie ‘have you become so callous to the feelings of others that you don’t remember what it’s like to lose someone you love?’ when canonically she has only expressed loss with Gabriel. She talks about how G has been trying to kill her for 70 years and says ‘relationships, yknow?’ As if B was gonna be like ‘lol tru’, then she takes a walk down memory lane, saying ‘besties’ before claiming how BC is ‘weird’. You’re right Josie, louder!
It’s weird because in s1, the script says Bellamy was thrown by the intimacy then said that for a moment Clarke wanted to run away with him as she held his face in her hands? platonically?What even?? I know, so glad we got this 131 year old slow burn instead. It’s weird because they flirted and C invited B to get a drink with her but B turned her down, choosing to be the responsible boy that will have his fun when the grounders come... It’s weird because there was a Lexa-Clarke-Bellamy love triangle according to Alycia (Do I even need to go on?)
It’s weird because Clarke jumped on Niylah after putting her hand on top of hers that were on her shoulders, it’s her mating ritual for when she wants to get laid. Observe: she pulled the same shit on Bellamy in the list scene only for him to tell her ‘get some sleep’ (LOL awks - who told her to platonically smush her face on top of their hands that rested on her shoulder for 10+ seconds - maybe B was thrown by the intimacy again bc he was like ‘gtg’ lol) and she ended up in Niylah’s bed the next morning.
It’s weird because Clarke was willing to sacrifice her mother in s3 (Abby was literally hanging when B came in right on time) but gave into Roan’s blackmail with B and Kane in s4 - WELL of course because Kane is her stepdad!!! but...she was willing to let her mum die and that’s exactly what she reminds Roan and the viewers before it becomes canon that Bellamy is THAT pal ™ that is more important than your mother + 50 skykru lives that were dropped from the list just like that even though the whole season Clarke had been all for her people first. Remember when he was about to open the bunker and Clarke fully thought she was saving the human race by locking skykru in but let B open it anyway, crying as she couldn’t even shoot him in the leg or something? Talk about WEAK! Bellamy somehow convinced her to let everyone in?👀 Clexa coalition parallels anyone? No? Ok.
Remember how she looked as she volunteers to go with B to get Raven even tho 5 secs ago, she was ok leaving her and every other friend and human out to die? (Sidenote: ‘I never meant to hurt you’ like CLARKE PLS, you were about let around 600 people die and ur talking about Bellamy? Check urself, he’s pissed too - until he isn’t because Clarke says ‘nothing is okay, no matter what I choose, somebody always dies’ which makes B make light of it (bc he always understands) with ‘not shooting me was the right choice’ leading to it being canon that BC staring at each other causes them to run over someone and crash their very necessary life-saving vehicle... Who tf wrote this???) Throwback to TondC (‘I did it to save Bellamy’ followed ‘what if I sent him in there to die’ which followed ‘you should go, I was being weak’ - the LENgths she was willing to go to progressed with her worry for him that it was truly tragic for the grounder villagers (but tbf Lexa did convince her so Heda is right, they totally couldn’t have created a fire diversion as Clarke suggested) and that worry turned into literal platonic love as, for a moment, it was tragic for everyone outside the bunker too that second times C had to make a similar choice. The narrative really made Clarke say and do those things in that order huh? Wow) Remember how she was ready to let O die and keep B in the bunker, have him hate her to parallel kabby that season? HOW is B still alive? He was all like ‘I’m not gonna be in the bunker’ and Clarke’s like ‘you WILL’ before he even finishes his sentence lol. He did say ‘people die when you’re in charge’ and yet... it’s almost like idk, Clarke never wants to lose him ever.
Platonically of course because their attraction to each other has disappeared since s1... because you see that person and you’re like ‘lol nvm, ur not as hot as I remember 6 years ago when we were giving each other the looks™’ right? So you just watch them make out with their SO twice in canon to drive that point home. Especially when it’s your bff that you talked to everyday for 2199 days according to Flame!Madi who strutted right up to Bellamy, demanded he forgive C (lexa, is that you fighting in Clarke’s corner? 😭) before telling him something she ‘SHOULDN’t’ tell him?? Sorry Clarke, was this a private thing that Madi was privy to that she felt she shouldn’t expose or did you tell her not to mention it?? Madi said ‘she called YOU’ lol, like when is Madi gonna expose Clarke’s radio calls to Raven pls, I need the platonic princess mechanic relationship instantly restored like that! The radio call elixir: makes you soft for you bff and invite her to decide the fate of the human race as you always do (we genuinely love a platonic team!) despite the fact she left you to die 2 days ago for endangering her kid in the name of stopping the war, which she herself decided to later do after Lexa, her romantic soulmate, tells her not to make the same mistake she did because it would be her biggest regret. Lexa tells C don’t abandon your platonic pal™, love is not weakness and life should be about more than just surviving. Did Lexa say Bellarke rights, Clarke be happy and let yourself love him? No, Lexa wants BC to live like her and Clarke did in her bed? No, no, Lexa said ‘live like Clexa, but don’t have sex’? Yup that’s what happened. And C has the audacity to say ‘save him’ after giving her child permission to walk into a war zone and endanger her life like.. I prayed Lexa protects Madi yes pls.
Either way, let your bff know you love him! Say ‘bro, you kept me sane and I love you for that’- it’s easy gsjsjah why you making it so hard, girl?? Hug and move on, let’s go! There was a perfect opportunity around that fire where you instead wasted time saying ‘all of me for all of us’ to just B? (All of u is for all two of you huh? Jk jk lol this is the most platonic thing in s5, I digress) before giving him ur bread lmao y so dramatic, we love extra af jokester pals (I do really like the platonic bad jokes fr tho 😂👌🏾)
(All is fun and games until the joy of reuniting with Madi is gone the second she sees becho. Like SMILE, Clarke, your soulmate pal ™ found his romantic soulmate like you found yours, remember?)
EVERY DAY for 2199 days huh?: It’s canon that Clarke Griffin after getting radiation roasted, decided to pick up her radio from the floor with her blistered hand that first day to try to call Bellamy, wanting to find out asap if he were alive... He didn’t respond and C had two choices they were alive or they were dead? Either way she said fuck it, Imma hope he’s alive and imma call Bellamy every day like the pal™ that I am, not even thinking like this: ‘imma talk to lexa bc she’s the love of my life and it’s literally just been 2-3 months since she got put in the flame and the flame is on Earth with me so I’m at peace.’ Like why wasn’t that canon instead?? Instead we got ‘I still have hope’ @ B 2199 days later.
The platonicness of Madi looking at Bellamy only and going ‘Clarke knew you would come’ and grabbing him by the hand like she’s his BFF? (that’s Clarke’s BFF Madi, get your own!) sorry but Madi has never met him in her life but she’s like ‘Clarke’s in trouble’ and suddenly B has been kidnapped by a kid. The rest of spacekru left alone in the forest to figure out their own shit bc B said ‘gtg save my bestie brb’ - NOT EVEN, he straight up left them stranded LMAO. (S6 in a nutshell tbh) Then Clarke in s6 has the audacity to look caught ™ when B casually brings radio calls up as friends would, he says it’s a lil pathetic and Clarke becomes the literal sun and B becomes the moon, shining all the laughs right back at her. Meanwhile, Clarke’s large ass pupils are drinking in all this HAPPINESS - not to reach but was that an example of life being more than just surviving? We actually have time for jokes and banter now? Fck Yeah ✨✨
What’s funny is the fact that Jordan knew about the head and the heart convo from s4 because B must’ve told Monty/Harper somewhere between being on the ring and before going into cryo. Since s5 was canon of what happened between returning to earth and going into cryo, logic leads me to believe Bellamy talked to marper about the head and the heart on the ring. It’s funny how Bellamy still got emotional when she’s brought up 6 years after ‘her death’ (Clexa parallels anyone?) and funny how determined he is to honour Clarke’s last words (be the head so their friends survive) only to say ‘I don’t need you anymore’ under psychosis, is that a trauma I see? 👀 soz, did I miss the season Bellamy said he needed Clarke? Only Clarke says the word need (‘I need you’, ‘we need each other, Bellamy’) unless that’s what he meant when he said ‘you got it backwards’ (@ Jaha saying you keep her centered)or when he whispered ‘I’ve got you for that’ or when he shouted ‘I CAN’T lose Clarke... we can’t lose her’. Either way, I love platonic soulmates that need each other.
(Randomly just remembered when B had that nice pal talk with Wells about how Clarke never sees him when Finn’s around, lolll what?? Weirdo. BC parallels with Wells and Clarke? Yes pls)
Tell your bff you love them challenge ft. Clarke who said ‘u look fine today, sad boy so I’mma look you over from the tips of ur toes to the top of ur head platonically then tell you you’re special and that your sis will come around’ and B who canonically says ‘Clarke, if I don’t see you again-‘ only for Clarke to be like ‘you WILL’ before B even finished his sentence - it’s rude to interrupt your friends when they’re talking Clarke! He was only gonna say ‘may we meet again’ anyway bc for some reason y’all bffs don’t canonically say ‘I love you [bro]’ and maybe B knows it’s because you hate I love yous and don’t say it unless you think it’s goodbye forever.
It’s in how Clarke puts Bellamy at the same level as Madi and cannot face Bellamy in her mind space, despite him being alive, because she thinks that he thinks she’s a monster - she cannot see her platonic pal’s love, I love that trope. It’s in how Clarke says ‘I’m not leaving you’ because her biggest regret was leaving B in the pits (but also the time she left him after MW) and it’s in how Bellamy says ‘I won’t let you die’ after letting her die twice now, I call that growth. So J mocks their weird relationship and B is like ‘lols I know’. He has a girlfriend who lied to him about her past during the 6 uninterrupted years they spent on the ring and he starts an argument with her seemingly out of nowhere (after watching Clarke dance with the doctor) and lying that at the last party he was at, he couldn’t protect his sister when we damn well know that the last party he was at was Jasper’s, does echo not know about Jasper? Did no one (Bellamy) tell her? He didn’t have to say ‘the last party I was at’ he could’ve easily said ‘at the party on Ark’. The way he even said this sounded like he was telling Echo for the first time what happened to his sister... they didn’t talk about the reason he ended up on the ground whilst on the ring huh? When Echo says something reasonable, he snaps that this is about feelings and that he never knows how she feels about anything... sounds like he’s projecting but I’m not going to tell you how to interpret it. Then when Echo opens up about her past, B says ‘you told me you didn’t remember your parents’. I love watching becho development because it’s clear how becho are not as compatible as we would’ve thought. (My headcanon up until s6 for them was that they connected over their similar childhoods and responsibility to their people and share the burden of the sins they’ve committed to live and grow together whilst finding peace in each other)
(This is just a snippet of how I see BC and I have no reason to be biased towards it. In fact, during s2-3 I actively made myself ship Clexa more than I shipped BC because I wanted that win for lgbt rep - yes, my mind is that extra that even without social media influence on my binge viewing experience, I felt that Clexa deserved E V E R Y T H I N G so believe me when I say I didn’t want this blarke life 🙃)
Everyone is agreed that they have an awesome non-sexual soulmate love? Yes? I admit, they COULD be platonic, depending on your definition of sexuality. Platonic is defined as ‘love or friendship that is affectionate/intimate but not sexual’.
If Clarke died next ep, bellarke will be remembered as platonic by those that believe sexual acts are what make a relationship romantic and remembered as romantic by those that infer sexual chemistry/feelings/thoughts in certain bellarke scenes.
Imo, it’s not logical to believe sexuality is only physical: it goes against basic common sense in that people would only be considered straight/gay/bi etc. at the point of their first sexual encounter and dating relationships would be platonic until the first sexual act within it.
Personally, I think romantic relationships arise with intention: the shared understanding of what you are offering each other (sexual acts included) and how you prioritise your person over all other humans.
It’s not crude to appreciate the intricacy of physical attraction or understand the implications of it driving the need to be as intimate as possible with someone. And the problem with bellarke is that there IS sexual chemistry and attraction. It’s established in season 1 and it’s made headlines - not that you should care- but both types of people (that would now consider bellarke platonic and those that wouldn’t) probably picked up on it because this aspect of their relationship was planned and written into the story. Longing and pining to just BE with someone is the pinnacle of romance and not only is it canon that bellarke look at each other with humongous pupils, it is also canon (through writing, direction and music) that bellarke prioritise each other, are extremely vulnerable to each other, always want to be ‘together’ do things ‘together’ no matter what. So I’m failing to understand why people don’t want to look at all the evidence and draw the clear conclusion: Bellarke tick every box for a romantic relationship except sexual acts and I think it’s a disservice to not recognise the reality of them as the epic love story that they are. Let’s not even mention the possibility that the reason they haven’t ticked that box is because they have given themselves over to their people in selfless duty or continued trauma from lost lovers.
I’m gonna conclude by saying I ship Clexa and Bellarke but with what’s going on in the story rn, bellarke are it for me. I’d say endgame but it could all change if there’s narrative to suggest otherwise. What I see happening by the end of the series is lexa being back (in what capacity idk) and either Clexa or Bellarke being party to the ‘I will love you forever but I will learn to love someone else so that we can chersish the relationship we have for what it is, not what it has been or what it could be, and be happy together forever’ while the other is canon endgame. Or maybe be by the series finale we’ll get endgame polygamy? - Now that’s edgy af! But those are best case scenarios lol.
Realistically, atleast one of BC are gonna die, Lexa will be brought back as Alycia but not into the real world (unless we get plot that finally exposes the mental space realm??? That sounds fucking dope tbh - they’ve been teasing alternate realities this whole damn show and what is more sci-fi than that? It would also incorporate the flame and Jason loves the flame and Clexa love the flame so??? Anyone wanna hire me as a writer?) and there’s endless possibilities really so I’m conflicted between hoping that Book 2 is less about tragedy/survival and more about happiness/life and knowing that hope for the 100 is offbrand and too much of a reach, with the evidence that we have but the writers could easily get us all there, man. I’m excited!
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Mask Off [M]
Summary: Having a dark past that he can’t forget, it makes him what he is today. A young man who never takes his mask off, often wears black clothes with a Timberland, fights for money; he sure is the topic of the neighbourhood’s gossip.
One night, he found out that the friend whom his housemate was going to bring to live for awhile was his childhood crush. He doesn’t know how to confront him after 8 years.
Maybe in their book of life, it was written that their fate was going to sealed sooner.
Genre: street fight, boxing, angst, smut (soon), fighter!au,
Warning(s): lots of swearing :3
Words: too long to count
a/n: everything in here is pure fictional. don’t tell me that i got their ages wrong. its goddamn fiction aite. plus, why not make jungkook the older one since he’s more matured looking than jimin. (both of them are. ps; i still love their baby faces okok). anyways, its my first time writing a fic so bear with me. enjoy! :)
“Next station, Itaewon.” the woman’s voice repeated the sentence twice. Jimin stood up from his seat, taking his belongings and walk towards the door. Before the door opens, he made sure that everything is on his hands. “Luggage? Check. Backpack? Check. Hat? Hehe up here.” he murmured to himself while pointing his index finger towards his hat. The door finally opened. He got out easily since its already night and there’s practically no one taking the subway.
~---~
He took a deep breath before he sent his last punch to the guy. “And the winner is... Black-eyed Busan!” the guy shouted on the microphone. He raised his right hand up to show to people who the winner is. The one that has been winning every time he fights. He pulled back his hand and walked towards his opponent. He crouched down and whispered, “Fucking touch my baby again and your life is on the line.” He pat the guy’s head and walked away. The guy of course had this terrified face because he had been warned. When someone got a warning from him, you automatically know that you fucked up.
He took his belongings before he left the ring. Tonight he felt a bit different. He sensed something chilly and comforting about tonight. He shrugged it off and continues to walk home. His home from the ring is quite far. It takes about 30 minutes of walk. He usually rides his motorcycle to go to the ring, but that shit now is being repaired. He knew who fucked up his precious. So he let out his resentment towards his tonight’s opponent. The guy who fucked his baby up. And everything worked out just perfect.
~---~
Jimin arrived in front of the dunkin donuts. He was asked to wait there as his friend was going to come and bring him to his place. He stood in front of the shop with his hands in his jacket, curled up into a fist as he watches people walking. Jimin wondered what his friend’s place looks like. Is it going to be small like his house at Busan? Or is it going to be as big as the rich people here? Or just a house that fits for both of them and feels like actual home?
A few minutes passed by and his friend is still not here. He went into the dunkin donuts and bought a cup of coffee. He set all his things before he could sit down. He texted Yugyeom, his friend who’s going to help him, when will he arrive. Then he texted his mom that he had arrived here and everything. A notification came.
Yugyeomie
-b there in 15. constipation :/
Jimin sighed. He looked around the shop before he took out his wallet and grab a photo. It was him and a boy on May 2009. The boy was 2 years older than him. He still remember his name. Jeon Jungkook. JJK&PJM was written at the back of the photo. He often reminisce their moments together as they don’t have much photos together back then. He can still feel his hand around his neck as they walk to the playground. He can still hear his voice in his head, shouting at the kids who would bother Jimin.
During that time and older, homosexuals aren’t accepted by society and people who committed the ‘crime’ would get a death punishment. Back then, everyone is so shallow minded. So the people who were gay would just do it behind the curtains. And Jimin happens to be bisexual. More like towards the balls but that is out of the topic. The thing was, only Jungkook knew about his sexuality that time. He wouldn’t dare tell this to his classmates or even his parents. But for some reason, everyone in the school knew about it. Everyday when he goes to school, he would get picked on by the students. Even some seniors would call him “faggot” in the hallway during the bell ring. But the thing that mostly got to him was, Jungkook’s friends knew about it first. Because without their big mouths, the ‘rumor’ about him being gay wouldn’t spread out to the whole school.
For the very first time since they have known each other, Jimin walked back home alone. He usually have Jungkook by his side to protect him. But today, he just ignored him. He’d ignored Jungkook when he calls him. He’d ignored Jungkook when he comes by Jimin’s locker. Jimin tried his best to ignore his best friend, his crush. Jimin walks with his head down. He doesn’t want to see anybody from school or just, anyone. He keeps walking until he heard Jungkook calling his name. “Jimin!” Jungkook shouted. “Wait up.” Jimin walks faster than his usual pace.
Jungkook regretted everything. When his friend, Taekyung was joking about Jimin liking him, Jungkook accidently spit out, “You’re not his type. He only like big dicks.” Which was true, because when he asked Jimin what does he want in a guy, Jimin said he wanted them big.Taekyung laughed, “That friend of yours is a faggot? Fucking knew it.”
“Why would you assume someone’s sexuality?!” Jungkook hissed..
“No fucking straight people cares about a guy’s dick. Especially the size.” the male fired back.
“Shut the fuck up bro if you don’t know any shit.” he spat.
“So its true then. He’s officially gay. This is awesome.” Taekyung laughed again. He lit up a cigarette and put it on his mouth.
Jungkook put his head on his palms and slowly massage it. “Stupid. You’re so fucking stupid J.” he thought.
+
Jimin wanted to cry in his arms so bad. He just wanted to run to Jungkook and cry on his chest and let Jungkook tell him that he’ll always be there for him. He can’t let his heart control him now. Not when something like this happened.
Jungkook can’t take the silence anymore so he ran to Jimin. Jimin was still walking fastly. Jimin felt a hand wrapped around his waist and pulled him towards the person’s chest. He immediately knew that it was Jungkook by his hands and smell. He smells like home. Jimin struggled in his arms.
“Let me go.” Jimin hissed.
It’s Jungkook’s turn now to ignore him. Even when Jimin was struggling hard in his arm, he still doesn’t let him go and kept his mouth shut. He dragged Jimin all the way to his house until they reach at the front door. Today seems quiet. He pushed Jimin to the wall next to his door harshly.
“W-what are y-you doing?” JImin stuttered. Jungkook started to lean in. He put his forehead against Jimin’s.
“I’m sorry for fucking everything that happened to you at school. I could’ve beaten those fuckers but you won’t allowed me. I’m really sorry.” he murmured.
“It’s okay. I’ve used to people say things to me.” he whispered.
“No it’s fucking not. You shouldn’t get used to it. Nobody should get used to it. Especially you.” Jungkook kissed Jimin’s forehead before he went to unlock the door.
Jimin involuntarily smiled at the memory. One thing that he’d always like about Jungkook is that he doesn’t care about people other than his family and close friends; like Jimin. Plus, Jimin had always envy Jungkook since the first day. Every time they walk together, he’d always had heads turned towards him. Girls, boys, teachers you name it. So when Jimin was beside him, he felt like an ant because he’s small and everyone’s attention is on Jungkook.
He still couldn’t believe that Jungkook had left him during his sophomore year. He’s still sad at the fact that Jungkook didn’t make any effort to contact him. Not even once. JImin was the one who’d always trying.
“Why did he left?” Jimin sobbed. He had been crying for hours because of the news.
Rumors had it that Jungkook left the town for ‘good’. And oh the rumors were true. Jimin know nothing about it. Jungkook didn’t tell him anything about leaving the town. He felt betrayed. Jungkook left Jimin a letter but that wasn’t enough. Jimin needed a solid explanation as to why he fucking left him alone unprotected. Knowing that the kids are going to pick on him more frequently now that he’s gone.
“I hate him.” he hissed. “I HATE YOU JEON JUNGKOOK.”
May 15 2010
I chose this because of personal matters. You know how my dad is. He can’t accept the fact that his son have a liking for dicks. He almost killed me with a butcher knife. Plus, it’ll ruin my reputation in school. Had to keep it cool yknow. I really don’t want to leave you but i have to. Please, please, please punch someone once in your life for bothering you. I can’t do that for you now. My punch can’t reach until Busan. Take care. I’ll always miss you and keep you in my heart.
ps: i love u
pss: more than u know
“Such a stupid letter,” Jimin grunted. He wanted to crunch up the letter but he couldn’t. Instead, he folded it neatly and hold it to his chest. He just let the tears fall down while muttering how much he hates and loves Jungkook.
knock
Jimin looked up from the photo. Yugyeom was sitting in front of him with his coffee at his mouth.
“Are you done fucking the photo or you just wanna continue until it comes alive?” Yugyeom snapped.
“You were late.” Jimin replied. “I had to get in here cause its cold outside.”
“Blame my digestive system. Let’s go!” he exclaimed, already stood up with Jimin’s backpack. Jimin just sighed and followed him out of the shop.
~---~
He opened the door and flew to the couch. He couldn’t believe that he had just walked from the ring to his house. If his precious weren’t at the workshop, he would’ve arrived home about 15 minutes.
“J you here?” his housemate, Jackson, asked from the kitchen.
“Yes.” he shouted back.
He laid on the couch for a few minutes before he sit straight up. He took off his jacket and mask. He pondered of what he’s going to do next because he had no clue at all. Usually after the fight he would go to a bar and drink with the money that he’d won. It’s just that tonight he really felt something was going to happen. He leaned in the couch and took out a cigarette.
He flicked the lighter a few times before he blow some smoke. He suddenly remembered something. His right hand went to his back pocket to take out his wallet. He flipped through his money until he found this particular photo. It was a photo of him and a boy. His best friend. His childhood crush.
“I miss you.” he kissed the photo.
“Don’t tell me you’ve given up on human until you wanna fuck the photograph.” Jackson snickered.
“Imma fuck you up if you don’t shut your big mouth,” he snapped.
“Calm your tits man. Why are you here so early?” the male replied.
“I don’t feel like drinking tonight.” he blew some smoke to the air before he put the photo back into his wallet.
“Am i hearing this right?” Jackson cupped his ears to ridicule him. “Unbelievable! You finally have some senses in you.”
“I swear to God you’re gonna lose a head if you keep doing this.” he fumed.
Jackson just laughed. He knew his friend didn’t mean it but he still needs to keep an eye on his words so it doesn’t anger him more.
“You know my friend,” Jackson stated. “You need to call him. At least send him a damn postcard. You disappeared just like that from his life you know.”
“You know I can’t.” he replied; calmly this time. “He will get attached to me more if I send him one.”
“Dumbass if he’s like that, that means he misses you,” the male snapped. “You’re a fucking idiot sometimes. Go take a walk. I’m done with you for today.” Jackson went to his room and slammed the door.
“Fuck you asshat,” he yelled. “Fucking hell that bitch.” he flickered his cigarette onto the ashtray. He took his phone and wallet and put his jacket on. He took a new black mask and wore it. He’s out again.
~---~
Yugyeom punched the house code. He stepped in with Jimin following behind him. He dragged his luggage along with him. He stopped after a few steps. He looked around to observe the condition of the house. The house was modernised. Jimin knew it because he saw the korean rooftop on the other part of the house. The house was in C-shape and the middle one was the living room. He could see the television from outside as the sliding door is not closed.
“Home sweet home,” Yugyeom entered the house. He put down Jimin’s backpack and walk to the kitchen.
Jimin noticed there’s various types of shoes on the step. Timberland, army boots, sneakers and some flip flops. They had a big ass cabinet shoes outside yet they can’t put it back. It’s totally messy with shoes everywhere. Jimin really wanted to put it back into the cabinet but he’s afraid that whoever Yugyeom lives with can’t find their shoes.
“Alex?” someone shouted.
“Kitchen!” Yugyeom shouted back. Jimin widen his eyes.
“Alex?” Jimin muttered while tilting his side; confused as to why the guy just called his friend a different name.
Jimin heard a door knob turned. He’s not ready to meet Yugyeom’s housemates yet. Jimin and Yugyeom met when their parents met each other at Jeju. They became quite close to each other since then. Often asking how the day was, what happened and so on. Yugyeom was the so called good boy. He became aggressive after he moved away. He even joined a fight club which benefits him money. If Yugyeom already swears like that, imagine the words that’s going to come out of his housemates.
“Is this your friend?” a chocolate haired guy asked. He was wearing a black long sleeve shirt with basketball shorts. He looked a bit shorter than Yugyeom but he still towers over Jimin by a few centimetres.
“Jimin. Jackson. Jackson Jimin.” Yugyeom introduced his housemate lazily. Yugyeom sat on the couch after he got his drink.
“Hello,” Jimin squeaked. Jimin bowed down a little to show some respect. “Quite intimidating,” he thought.
“Why are you bowing lol c’mere,” Jackson suddenly pulled Jimin into an embrace. Jimin stayed still like a stick; not sure what to do.
“Let him go,” Yugyeom or Alex pulled Jimin out of Jackson’s arm. “You know he’s whose right.”
“Oh,” Jackson said while dragging the ‘O’. “J’s?”
“Thanks for having a brain.” Yugyeom dragged Jimin out of the living room; leaving Jackson alone.
“Bitch,” Jackson muttered while glaring at Alex’s back.
Yugyeom brought Jimin to his room which means that they’re going to share a room together. It was located at the left side of the house near the toilet. He silently thanked God that he doesn’t need to walk far just to piss.
“Your room seems nice.” Jimin complimented. Seriously, it’s even better than he’d expected. He thought Yugyeom would have this messy adult room but boy did his room was shining like a diamond. His single bed which looks like it can fit 2 people was situated by the window. Even the window had this black hobbled roman shades curtain. When you enter the room, you can immediately see the bed in front of it. At the left side of the room was his clothes. He doesn’t have a closet so he put all his clothes on the black clothes rack. However on the right side, it’s a bit messy. Beside his bed was this small table and a big squared mirror at the back of the table. All of his earrings, some chokers, watches and colognes were placed there. Then Yugyeom had this bunch of black backpacks beside it as well but were not arranged properly. Not to mention the bar hanging at the entrance.
“No wonder he’s tall,” Jimin wondered.
“So... how was it?” Yugyeom asked hopefully. “I cleaned everything just for you to feel comfortable.”
“Wonderful. Too enough for me,” Jimin beamed. He laid down his luggage and zip it open. He took out a toffee and unwrap it.
Yugyeom was laying on his bed while playing phone. Jimin took his chance to admire his room more. His eyes were wandering around until it reaches the table. He looked at the table and saw a frame. It was a picture of Yugyeom, Jackson and another guy who was wearing a black mask at a ring. He tilted his head in wonder. Before he was dragged by Yugyeom, he caught a glimpse of a black mask on the television table.
“Hey Yugyeom,” Jimin called. Yugyeom hummed.
“Who’s the guy in the middle in this photo?” Jimin took the frame and showed it to Yugyeom.
Yugyeom looked away from his phone to look at the picture. He tried his fucking hardest not to show any shock reaction as Jimin asked who the guy is. He didn’t want his friend to hurt all over again. He knew what happened because Jimin told him literally everything about J. After Yugyeom decided to take a boxing class 3 years ago, J was there as a trainer already. Time passed by, they became friends. Then came Jackson out of the blue. They all decided to rent a house together. And here they are. J didn’t know that Yugyeom had befriended Jimin. All he knew was Yugyeom was going to bring his friend to stay together for awhile until he found a place to himself.
“Another housemate. He’s not here.” Yugyeom answered; his attention went back to his phone.
“Oh,” Jimin mumbled. He put back the frame where it belongs.
~---~
He took off his shoes before entering the house. It’s 10pm and the house was awfully quiet. Usually during this time, Jackson would be in the living room with Yugyeom’s head laying on his lap; watching the television together. Now he’s wondering have Yugyeom’s friend arrived yet? Where is he sleeping? He went to Jackson’s room. He busted in without knocking only to find Jackson was sleeping; alone. He sighed before he closed the door carefully.
He looked around the living room. The television was off. The lights were off. The only source of light left was the kitchen. Then he remembered Yugyeom. He walked to his room and before he got the chance to twist the knob, Yugyeom shouted, “Don’t come in.”
“Why?” he shouted.
“Um- we’re naked!” Yugyeom answered.
“what the fuck,” he mumbled. He walked away from the room. He went into his room instead. He took off everything that was on his body and got into bed. He was wondering how Yugyeom’s friend looked like. How is he. How old is he. He shook his head from the thought and closed his eyes. Hoping that he could finally get enough rest.
+
The sound of the alarm rang through his room. He jolted up from his sweet dream. He picked up his phone and clicked the “Stop” button to stop the alarm. He yawned and rubbed his hand all over his face so that he can fully focus what’s going on. He looked at the time. 8:15AM. For the first time ever since high school he had woken up this early. It’s always at the afternoon or evening then he’ll go to the ring to practice then fight. That has been his daily routine for 5 years.
He stood up and brought his towel with him to the living room. When he was already at the kitchen’s door, he saw Yugyeom and Jackson eating a breakfast. He tilted his head. He looked around the kitchen and saw that everything was neatly arranged. It’s just a few days ago there was empty bottles and half full of beer and alcohol on the counter. Now the bottles are gone. The table that was full of finished bag of chips were now cleared. All that was left was a jug of water and a few glasses on a tray.
“What the fuck happened?” he exclaimed. Yugyeom and Jackson looked up from their phone and cereal. “They even had fucking cereal in morning dammit.” he thought.
“Morning to you too,” Jackson replied with his mouth full of cereal.
“Where did you guys get a cereal? And why the fuck this kitchen looks clean?” he asked; obviously confused.
“My friend woke up early just to do what y’all lazy people can’t do,” Yugyeom sneered.
“That makes you lazy as well bitch,” Jackson snapped.
“Fuck off I can do this too if i had the energy to do so,” the male hissed at Jackson.
“That just meant you’re lazy,” he deadpanned.
“Whatever.” Yugyeom rolled his eyes.
“By the way,” he added; pulling out a chair to sit beside Yugyeom, “when can I meet this friend of yours? Where is he?”
Yugyeom choked on his cereal. He pat Yugyeom’s back while Yugyeom was drinking a glass of milk to calm himself down.
“He’s already out. He said he’ll be back late night because he wanted to find a job and walk around,” Yugyeom replied nervously.
Jackson kicked Yugyeom’s feet underneath the table. The male looked up to him and he gave this “don’t fuck things up” look. Yugyeom slightly nodded and continues to eat.
He looked at Yugyeom and Jackson then raised an eyebrow. They’re hiding something.
“Fuck you guys,” he mumbled. He got up from his chair and went to the toilet to take a shower.
~---~ (Yugyeom’s POV)
I sighed in relief. I looked up to Jackson just to see that he’s already staring at me like I should’ve not born into this world.
“I know I know,” I said.
“I swear to God you almost lost your mind back there,” Jackson snapped.
I rolled my eyes. It wasn’t that serious. At any time they could’ve met each other. It’s just a matter of time.
This morning, Jimin woke me up at around 6:45AM. I was going to throw a fit but then he said, “I prepared a breakfast.” I’ve never felt so happy before. It’s been so long since I’ve had a breakfast and the last time was when I was still living with my parents. Even though it’s just typical cereal and milk, it still sufficed my hungry stomach.
When I entered the kitchen to eat, everything was already cleaned. Table, countertops, dishes. It’s like I’m entering someone’s house. Not ours.
“I woke up at 5. Didn’t know what to do so I clean things. Now it looks better right?” Jimin beamed; taking a seat beside me.
I just nodded; too shocked to speak. Moments later, Jackson came. His hair was straight up looking like a bee hive. He rubbed his face to see things clearly. When he was done, he also had this surprised look on his face. He looked at me first but I shook my head; indicates that I’m not the one who did all of those. Then he looked at Jimin, Jimin quickly wished him a good morning.
Jackson took a seat in front of me and took a bowl. He started to fill up his bowl with cereals.
“You’re too good for this world,” Jackson stated. I nodded; agreed with Jackson’s statement. I don’t know how long Jimin could keep up if he lives in this house. Our nasty world doesn’t mix well with his innocent one.
Jimin just smiled. We talked for awhile until Jimin stood up.
“I’m going to take a shower. Need to find a job.” Jimin exclaimed.
“Its only...,” Jackson squinted his eyes to see the time on the clock, “7:20. Isn’t it too early?”
“I could do some walking to fit in. Need to get familiar with the place though.” Jimin remarked. He went to our room to take his stuffs.
“He really is something else,” Jackson stuffed his mouth with cereals.
“Yeah,” I looked at the door of my room. “He is.”
a/n: im tired. it took me literally a week to finish this part only (i happened to procrastinate alot). my laptop had probs so theres some work that i didnt get to save and i had to redo the same thing over and over again. i’m sorry if its too long for yall likings. this is only an appetizer. we havent get to the main dish yet ;)
-- Give your opinion abt this story on ask/message
--Like if yall want more (???)
#jungkook#jimin#jikook#bts#got7#yugyeom#jackson wang#fighter au#im gonna regret writing this story later
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Marked Petals: Text Edition Ch. 2
Day after the gang rescued Shiro aka the shack in Arizona
Group Chat: Family
Lance, Mamí, Papí, and Osito
Papí (7:32 a.m.): (No text? Why you must be on your off day. I’ll keep it short so I can wake the sleeping Pequeño bar. Call as soon as possible okay son. Your mother wants to share some good news.)
Mamí (7:42 a.m.): (Have a good day of school!)
Mamí (4:48 p.m.): (Do you have anything to say about yourself? Getting poor Melony to play a prank on us. At least do it in person Lance).
Mamí (4:49 p.m.): (I know you’re facing some difficulties, but please don’t make up a story.)
(Answer asap)
(I love you honey!)
Papí (4:52 p.m.): (Son, while I love your jokes when they are PG-13 around Pequeño bar, this one with Melony isn’t funny.)
Mamí (5:12 p.m.): (Lance you’re worrying me. You’re worrying everyone.)
Osito (8: 54 p.m.): (I miss you Lance)
(Come back home)
(I hate that stupid school, it took you away)
Chat: MelBear
MelBear
Lance (11:25 a.m.): Guess what?!?!? Found some bf material & he’s in black but not a edgelord. So caring toooooo!!!♥♥
MelBear (11:29 a.m.): Dnt tell me your yanking my chain
Is there relly a guy like that?
Pics or u joking
MelBear (11:32 a.m.): I knew it!!!! U are yanking my chain hmp
Im ashamed of u lance. To think, my one and only cousin near my age betrayed me, the up and coming photographer who hopes to snap the magnificent photos of fashionistas and models.
MelBear (11:33 a.m.): I even wrote a sentence correctly bc of u. Haaaaaate u sooooo much now
MelBear (11:34 a.m.): ...
MelBear (11:42 a.m.): K srlsy what are u doing? U usually text me by now.
MelBear (11:43 a.m.): Wait a min. You were serious about that guy.
He kidnapped you.
Holy shit.
MelBear (11:44 a.m.): You better respond soon Lance, if you don’t want me blowing up your phone or calling your parents. I won’t hesitate to call my Tío and Tía.
MelBear (11:45 a.m.): I always make good on my word Lance. You remember that don’t you?
I’ll give you five hours on the dot. Should be enough time for the Garrison to get out right?
MelBear (11:46 a.m.): K. See u soon.
Remember f i v e h o u r s .
MelBear (4:46 p.m.): You give me no choice.
MelBear (5:03 p.m.): I just told them.
If only u listened to me, this could have been avoided.
MelBear (5:04 p.m.): btw i told them ~ the guy. He’s a kidnapper now even tho he’s hot
*cackles
<3
MelBear (10:14 p.m.): Seriously talk to me. IIIIIIIII’mmmmmmm bored
I dont regret telling on u tho
Lance
MelBear (11:12 p.m.): Just in w/ my hw. Twas awful & borin
MelBear (12:42 a.m.): Lance, you’re scaring me.
This isn’t a joke.
I thought you’d call me by now. Or text me.
MelBear (12:43 a.m.): Everyone is freaking out. I’m going to get some posters up and put them in Arizona because this is getting ridiculous.
MelBear (12:44 a.m.): Don’t worry Lance, we’ll find you.
Chat: Emperor
Emperor
Emperor (11:32 a.m.): (Why haven’t you texted me back???? Bro, Lance, just answer me.)
(I’m worried about you. Neither of you answered me yesterday.)
(You even missed our chat!)
Emperor (11:33 a.m.): (Is there something going on?)
(Is there overnight detention? Pretty sure that would happen if you get caught after hours. Holy shit you did. That is hilarious!!!!)
Emperor (11:34 a.m.): (Wait...that’s why you two didn’t answer. That flight school is strict as balls.)
(I’ll cover that message up. Hiay teach.)
(But no seriously how is Hunk doing? He hates getting into trouble.)
(He’s going to chew you out XD)
Emperor (11:35 a.m.): (I’ll leave you alone for now. Text me as soon as you can okay?)
Emperor (5:05 p.m.): (So I just got a text from Mel. Does not seem legit but whatever. You’ve been acting pretty strange bro.)
Emperor (5:07 p.m.): (We r texting each other and Lance this is some weird ass shit let me tell you. First you don’t answer your boyf (let’s be honest Hunk is our #1 and boyf’s are #2 but super close to #1) which is stupid. It’s a stupid name)
(Next thing I know Mel’s saying you get kidnapped by a sexy dude)
Emperor (5:08 p.m.): (I can’t trust Mel on if the guy is like Taylor lvl hot or Eridan lvl hot which she <3s)
(Could be a reason why you aren’t answering me. A stupid one but you’re phone’s gone)
Emperor (6:10 p.m.): (You’re mom is going to hit you with her chankla)
(Sweet dreams Lanypoo)
Emperor (8:43 p.m.): (Congratulations)
(You’ve successfully freaked everyone out back at home)
(I may not be religious but I pray for you)
Emperor (8:44 p.m.): (No one is going to let you live it down)
(If you aren’t dead yet you are going to be >:D)
Emperor (9:23 p.m.): (I just found out Hunk’s not answering his phone)
(1st I thought it was a school thing but…)
(I’m worried.)
(Fuck.)
Emperor (9:24 p.m.): (You two better be safe.)
(I don’t think I can forgive myself otherwise.)
(Come back home with all your limbs attached.)
Emperor (9:25 p.m.): (We miss you)
Emperor (9:26 p.m.): (Fuck you dude)
(You’re making me sound like a sap)
(Just come home)
Emperor (9:30 p.m.): (I still think you’re safe. Even though those people at the Garrison can’t find you)
(You and Hunk are smart, you’ll get out of this jam.)
(I even used that old word just for you boyf. Tell our best friend to calm down and keep his head)
Chat: Tía Maria
Tía Maria
Tía Maria (5:21 p.m.): (It’s me Maria, you know you’re favorite aunt. I just heard from Melony that you aren’t answering anyone. I know that you met a new friend at the Garrison, someone who is cool, even though he’s trouble. You’re a good kid Lance, and I expect an answer, I waited so that you can do some work. The little orator--why do you call him an emperor? Know your latin history--told me that your phone was taken away. Just answer asap please boy.)
Tía Maria (6:32 p.m.): (Lance.)
(Hunk isn’t even picking up)
(Is this another one of your jokes?)
Tía Maria (7:05 p.m.): (I just got off the phone with Anna, you know she is in hysterics. Making your poor mother worry, goodness it’s worse than her getting drunk and riding those go carts years ago.)
Tía Maria (7:23 p.m.): (This is getting ridiculous. I’m calling your school.)
Tía Maria (8:20 p.m.): (May Lord have mercy.)
Tía Maria (8:53 p.m.): (Going to Agathe’s house, everyone will be there.)
Tía Maria (8:54 p.m.): (We’ll find a way to find you two. Even a country away we can do something.)
Chat: Tío Anton
Tío Anton
Tío Anton (5:23 p.m.): (Nice joke boy)
Tío Anton (8:28 p.m.): (Riri called. She told me it’s serious)
Tío Anton (8:31 p.m.): (I knew I shouldn’t have trusted those American schools. Know you’re too far away and the only ones closest to you is the other McClains. Still that’s too far)
Tío Anton (8:33 p.m.): (This is Sephina, Cece,
(We are going to Riri’s house)
Tío Anton (8:46 p.m.): (Oh Lord)
Chat: Auntie Sal
Auntie Sal
Auntie Sal (6:24 p.m.): Yo Lance! You see that? Old little thing
Great you remember that tho
Auntie Sal (6:25 p.m.): Little Mel told me about what happened, and I’m pretty sure she’s kidding…
Like 87%...
Well...74% to b honest
Auntie Sal (6:26 p.m.): Going to keep in touch w the family
See if anyone else knows anything...
Chat: Aunt Trisha
Aunt Trisha
Aunt Trisha (8:10 p.m.): Be safe my little weapon. I remember that you used to hate it.
Al will be driving to Arizona to talk to the Garrison.
Aunt Trisha (8:11 p.m.): Don’t worry, we’ll find you three.
Aunt Trisha (8:13 p.m.): I wished Melony told me earlier about all of this instead of hearing it second handed. She thought it was a joke until it turns out it is a reality.
Aunt Trisha (8:14 p.m.): If you’re kidnapper is reading this, I have a message for him. We will find my nephew and his friends.
Aunt Trisha (8:15 p.m.): Question is, why does this man want with children
I will reveal your intentions.
Group Chat: What’s up with school?
Agathe and Eli
Eli (8:20 p.m.): They just contacted us about you, my son & a classmate is missing.
Eli (8:21 p.m.): You know Hunk, and in case your phone is taken, I won’t say more.
Me and Agathe are worried about the three of you.
Eli (8:24 p.m.): It’s ironic how our group name is is isn’t it?
If a man could turn back time...
#voltron legendary defender#vld fanfic#vld lance#vld lance's family#sometimes I hate this format#copy and paste#the whole fic
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i’ma yell at the songs that debuted on the billboard hot 100 this year okay
So I’m gonna try to make this post every week because I’m trying to establish some routine for the tumblog, have some point to my social media? Which basically means I’m gonna keep track of every song that blows up enough to get on the Billboard charts and update the Top Ten of 2017 every week so I don’t have to endure the nonsense that was a Hot 100 of 2016 chart that didn’t have “Black Beatles” or “Bad & Boujee” YA GOOFED, BILLBOARD so anyway this’ll be a fun thing to do for two months
i’ma skip the 1/7 chart because there’s still christmas music on there? but i’m considering everything from that point on a 2017 track.
14 January 2017
71) "Moves," Big Sean
The more time I spend with Big Sean, the more I understand what other people might have been seeing in him that has kept him in the collective consciousness this whole time. Like, we gave him enough chances to practice, and he got good! It's impressive! Not everyone gets good!
79) "Seein' Red," by Dustin Lynch
I was gonna make a stink about how typically red lights mean 'stop,' and that is a notable omission in a song about a dude who fantasizes about red, but you know what, this is about as inoffensive as bro country gets. It's not good? But it's not obnoxious, and that hits the ceiling I have for bro country. I would like to point out: in the pre-chorus, bro says "drive this Chevy like a Cadillac." Fun fact! The Cadillac-brand automotives are manufactured by General Motors, which also manufactures Chevrolet-brand automobiles! That is so weird how, in this simile, two cars being manufactured by the same company are being compared! Probably just a coincidence.
80) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty
This is the bounciest trap single I've heard since "Trap Queen." "I'm just like DeRozan/If I shoot it, it goes in." And just like DeMar DeRozan with his anachronistic game based around an elite mid-range jumper, I don't know how this song works so well, but goddamnit if it's just a pleasure to hear! Both parties have really nice self-deprecating senses of humor, and the hook is the sort of daffy most novelty singles could only dream of achieving. This song is charming! I never thought I'd describe a trap song as charming, but I absolutely fucking love this. What a peculiar little treat!
90) "Think a Little Less," by Michael Ray
I was gonna do this whole thing where I inferred certain beliefs Michael Ray has about women's right to their own bodies given that he has a 100% serious song called "Real Men Love Jesus" and wonder why someone who isn't pro-choice would insist a woman "kiss a little more, think a little less." But you know what? Maybe Michael Ray's cool. Maybe we owe Michael Ray the benefit of the doubt. So I'm not gonna do that whole thing. I'm just not gonna talk about this song anymore because hoo boy is it ever not worth talking about.
95) "No Flockin," by Kodak Black
Imagine making the beat for this song and realizing it has to go to Kodak Black. Hey: I have an idea for a reality show, and y'all can tell me if this has been done, but it's 14 unsigned rappers in a battle to determine who gets to be the first to rap over a new Just Blaze beat, and like in the first episode Just Blaze brings out whatever hip-hop luminaries are at a stage in their career that they have to appear on reality shows (P. Diddy for sure, I bet they could get Cee-Lo, and I can't imagine Salt or Pepa saying no) to affirm that this isn't just some beat Just Blaze made ten years ago that he's pulling out for that executive producer credit, anyone who gets this beat has a hit on their hands, and with the right rapper, it's a no-brainer instant classic. 14 unsigned rappers fighting for one Just Blaze beat in the reality rapping competition we so sorely need.
96) "Timeless," by A Boogie Wit da Hoodie ft./DJ SPINKING
The way the drums come in is really cool. The way he goes off-beat in the bridge, I don't know how into that I am? But I respect that he is making choices.
98) "Way Down We Go," by Kaleo
Gotye 2017 is pretty cool! Nothing will ever top the original, of course, but still a far sight better than Gotye 2015.
99) "Hate U Love U," by Olivia O'Brien
...wait is this j -- okay, well, i guess it's enough to know we can calculate gnash's VORP. this song goes from a 3 to a 6 without that dude.
100) "Shaky Shaky," by Daddy Yankee
This is garbage, but it is incredibly acceptable garbage. It's jubilantly insipid.
21 January 2017
92) "Sober Saturday Night," by Chris Young ft./Vince Gill
So as far as bro country dudes go, this one actually has a decent voice. If pressed, I might be able to pick his voice out of a lineup a week from now! That doesn't mean this song isn't dreck -- oh wow, you stopped partying because a girl left you, how terrible, he's not even drinking! you guys! so sad! -- but, y'know, it's nice to have some variety.
93) "Beibs in the Trap," by Travis Scott
Hey! A song I already know and mostly enjoy! Awesome time-save, right there!
94) "I Got You," by Bebe Rexha
...no thank you
95) "The Weekend," by Brantley Gilbert
oh god this chucklefuck. "Tick tock, I'm on the clock, and I feel like this job's just 9 to 5'n my life away." Brantley Gilbert is 32. He released his debut album when he was 24. Assume he went to all four years of high school and graduated at 18. His Wikipedia page says he has been an active musician since 2005, when he would've been 20. I never knew any 19-year-olds with office jobs but, okay, let's give him the benefit of the doubt, afford him the chance to have worked a shitty temp job while he was gigging or trying to make songwriting happen. He has six years, from when he was 18 to 24, to have worked a 9 to 5. Like, you would think this wouldn't matter to him these days, right? Because he's 32 now, and he has a job he probably likes as a county music star, he has a purported net worth around $10 million, you'd figure he wouldn't be thinking about the time he wasted at his dead-end job. So unless he's just had this song hanging around since he was 23 and is just now getting around to it, how am I supposed to believe this tattoo boy truly ever felt miserable at a 9-5? See, the problem with bro country is, it's dishonest. It comes from a deeply cynical place. This song does not come from a place of deeply felt experience or bold artistic statement, it is a song about something that happens to other people that he and Big Machine can then sell to those other people, and that is just such a profoundly disappointing thing. I promise one day I'm going to talk about something I love as much as I talk about something I don't much care for.
100) "Water," by Ugly God
I love this name you have chosen for yourself! The song... Well, still. What a good name to have picked! You are wearing a sweatshirt that says Hentai and I am proud of what you have been able to achieve in your life's time.
28 January 2017
1) "Shape of You," by Ed Sheeran
"Hey, 2010 Bob!"
"Well, hello, Bob! from the future! Been a couple days!"
"Been a couple years, actually."
"Ha!"
"Time travel jokes."
"Well, what'd you come here to tell me? Last time, you came from the magical world of 2013 to tell me about all the new Pokemon you had. What does the future have in store?"
"In 2017, the best male pop stars alive will be, in order, Bruno Mars, The Weeknd, and Ed Sheeran."
"...Um?"
"Also Trump becomes president."
"What, like Donald?"
"I also have new Pokemon for you!"
"Oh, dope! But like Donald?"
"Oh yeah, and he like instantly becomes a monstrous dictator, too."
"...The Apprentice dude?"
6) "Castle on the Hill," by Ed Sheeran
Like legit tho, it's 2017, Ed Sheeran dropped a song with heavy (heavy) U2 influence, and I 100% don't mind it. I also laughed out loud at "Me and my friends have not thrown up in so long, we're so grown." Like this is all he's ever been, but he's a lot better at it now than he was when he started, and he’s become, like, kinda dope?
77) "Location," by Khalid
Always good for someone's long-term prospects when the song gets a Wikipedia page before the singer or any of the five other credited writers, or the three producers. Are the three producers and six songwriters all separate entities? I don't know and won't bother verifying, because all Wikipedia tells me is that nine people worked on this song, and also that when Khalid "heard the beat play, the words flew out," two information bitlets that don't conflict at all. The end product isn't the worst thing I've ever heard, I might end up with this dumb song stuck in my head for a jillion years, but it is just kinda... like, there. There's no climax or anything, it's just, "Send me your location. I'll wait. ...There it is. Coo'." Like fuck, dude, have an emotion or something.
89) "Drinkin' Too Much," by Sam Hunt
There is no way of knowing if I actually heard Sam Hunt's "Drinking Too Much" or not. All's I know is, I'm like 90% sure I heard a bro-country/trap song, and I am not okay with it. Absolutely not. Fuck you, and fuck whoever gave these songwriters a Future tape. This is unacceptable. I don't know who told you you could, but you shouldn't have.
100) "If the Boot Fits," by Granger Smith
BRO COUNTRY CLICHE COUNT
Well the word boot is in the title of the song (1), and it's also a part of the chorus so we’ll make that (2), and apparently people come to his shows holding fucking cowboy boots (3) uh-huh yeah totally real America right there, the song begins with the phrase "small town" (4) and a patriarchal admonishment to have the daughter home by midnight (5). Granger Smith, you are 38, you should not be dating women with CURFEWS. Christ. "I wanna watch the sun rise through the pines with ya." Campin' sounds country as fuck (6) and watching the sunrise, it's not specifically a bro country cliche? But it's still a cliche (7). "My carriage is a 4x4 400 horse Chevrolet." Are yo -- okay, (8), and you know what (9) because he specified the horsepower and (10) because he specified the brand, ARE YOU... sure? Granger? Jordan Schmidt? Andy Albert? Mitchell Tenpenny? Frank Rogers? Are you guys okay with what you're doing? Do you go to bed satisfied that you have put good in this world? Are you sure this is what you were put on this earth to do? "My carriage is a 4x4 400 horse Chevrolet." My stars! "Let me show you how a country boy treats a lady." (11), man, that's just a classic. This song isn't even three minutes long, and it manages to pack in that much bad. I don't even care that I spent so much time thinking about something I hated, because you know what, bro country is still a scourge must needs be purged from this earth. Bad things happen when people like me say nothing. MAYBE THERE ARE BETTER FIGHTS TO START BUT THIS 38-YEAR-OLD BOY IS WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME.
4 February 2017
7) "Paris," by The Chainsmokers
Consider Armando Galarraga. He had, quite literally, a negligible major league career from 2007 to 2012. There is a statistc called Wins Above Replacement, or WAR, which purports to calculate exactly how many wins any major league player is worth as opposed to some schmoe a team could pluck from the minor leagues. Armando Galarraga ended his career having accrued 0.4 WAR, going by the website FanGraphs' calculations of the stat. For four years, Armando Galarraga essentially was the replacement player, the guy teams played because they didnt have anyone else. But on 2 June 2010, he was perfect. Not perfect. FanGraphs assigned his game a score of 94, Galarraga only posting three strikeouts, getting most of his outs via grounders. But perfect in the way that baseball defines it, in that he pitched a complete game and retired all 27 batters he faced, plus an extra batter because Jim Joyce made a mistake and baseball, in 2010, didn't afford opportunities to review close calls. No one disputes that Galarraga retired every batter he faced, we all collectively agree Armando Galarraga pitched a perfect game, and this player, who otherwise had a completely unremarkable career, never even pitching in the post-season despite playing for a highly competent Detroit Tigers team for three seasons, did this one beautiful thing and made himself unforgettable. The next time he pitched, he threw five innings and gave up a two-run home run to Mark Kotsay, and no one was disappointed because they were pretty sure they had an idea of Armando Galarraga's true talent level. This song is meh, is what I'm trying to say.
43) "T-Shirt," by Migos
Fun fact! Production of this track was handled by an entity named XL and the duo of Nard & B, who also produced a track for Future's 2014 album Honest called "T-Shirt!" This "T-Shirt" is a different song from Future's, I listened to both and can confirm that they are different, but my question to you is: are they?
77) "Not Afraid Anymore," by ft./Halsey
Why does having sex with Halsey sound like God and Satan fighting for control of all that is? Like, the grand sense of self-importance which Halsey brings to the table really served "Closer" well, because that song needed someone to insist that we're NOT. EVER getting older. The way she growls those words to the end? I could cry, it’s so good. But on this song, it's like, y'all know sex is fun, right? It doesn't always have to be like this? You're prolly gonna have it again, maybe calm down about it for a second? And more importantly, was I supposed to come into this song knowing what "hit the sin" means? I Googled that phrase. It doesn't even yield the AZ Lyrics page for this song. This phrase doesn't exist, dawg. Is. Is it the butt? You need to explain these things which did not hitherto exist!
88) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee
The thing about Latin pop is, it's a world I only understand through what gets shown to me on the Billboard charts, and that's unfair to that world, because Latin pop is a much nicer vision of the world than American pop. This is such a nice song! The way he sings DES. PA. CI. TO. is incredible, Daddy Yankee doesn't get too "Shaky Shaky" on this (I'm not even gonna try to judge Daddy Yankee as a rapper given how out of my depth I am in terms of any music evaluation, but he seems on point), it just, it hums along at a nice clip. Also the English translation of this song I found says this song has the line "We will do it on the beach in Puerto Rico 'til the waves scream 'Dear lord!'" THIS IS A SONG ABOUT FUCKING SO RIGHT THAT YOU MAKE THE OCEAN NERVOUS. GOD YES.
95) "Not Nice," by PARTYNEXTDOOR
So, here's the peril of wanting to listen to and have opinions on all the new pop music, apart from forcing myself to have reactions to things that may not be reflective of my true feelings: I will sometimes have to look at this and think, well what do I do about this? It's a nice song. I really dig the beat. I don't mind the dude's voice. The lyrics aren't wholly offensive. But like. I gotta say something about it, right? "Um, maybe I will try the party next door, thank you for the suggestion." That'd be a killer line, but I don't dislike this song! But no one wants to hear “don’t dislike.” I have to go one way or the other. Kaizo level or troll level. 1000 degree hot knife or Frozen Ana Elsa Trolls. I can’t just be a person who hears something and forgets it. Everything has to matter. This needs to matter for it to be content.
98) "Black," by Dierks Bentley
I've long defended Dierks Bentley as one of the good ones, but, um, you know it takes two people to fuck, right dude? Okay, insist she make your world go black. What are you gonna do for her? Whatcha bringin' to the table, Dierks? I used to work guest service at a Target store, and my man, if you wanna do an even exchange, best believe you oughta bring your receipts. "DRUNK ON A PLANE" NOTWITHSTANDING I do not for a second think the quality of your dick is so unimpeachable that you can make demands like this!
99) "Down," by Marian Hill
This is nice! Like, in the alternate universe where Harry Potter didn't blow all the way the hell up but still got big enough for a CW adaptation, this would definitely be the theme song. That's what this song is, a quirky jam for a very British teen soap. I really dig this, this is a refreshing change of pac -- Oh. Oh, okay, so that's a thing you decided to do. Alright. Well, we had some fun here. I appreciate that you are trying to accomplish things, and I acknowledge that others may find you succeeded.
So these are the top ten singles of 2017 so far:
10) “Seein’ Red,” by Dustin Lynch (yeah it’s bad, but there’s only like 17 songs, there’s one song on this list i’d be 100% okay with still seeing in the top ten in december)
9) “Moves,” by Big Sean
8) “Down,” by Marian Hill
7) “Timeless,” by A Boogie Wit da Hoodie ft./DJ SPINKING
6) “Beibs in the Trap,” by Travis Scott
5) “Castle on the Hill,” by Ed Sheeran
4) “Way Down We Go,” by Kaleo
3) “Shape of You,” by Ed Sheeran
2) “Despacito,” by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee
1) “iSpy,” by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty
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