#waking up to butch in tank top drinking coffee in the shared kitchen with the his n hers mugs okay hold in im having a moment

[boogiewrites]

Which is harder? Being honest or you?

Characters: Billy Butcher x OFC

Summary:  She's been involved in the messy world of The Boys for years now, same sad story, a Supe killed her husband, and now she's out for revenge. The years pile up, and so do the stresses and anniversaries of deaths. On a night after the death of her husband, she finds herself worried about Butcher making it back from a job. Is it the booze that makes her so honest with him when he asks her what's wrong? Is it the booze that makes her admit to what she really needs that night? Or was it inevitable between them all along?

Warnings/Tags: Sexual content. Spanking/Slapping’ Rough, slight Dom/Sub undertones. Bed sharing. Enemies to friends to lovers. Inevitable chemistry. 

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Her nails tapped an unsteady rhythm against the cheap countertop of the motel room kitchen. She’d been alone for two days now and although not unfamiliar with the isolation, she had been due company for over 12 hours now.

There are lots of aspects of living off the grid that you can get used to. It’s amazing what the brain can start to see as normal that once would’ve made you piss yourself and then faint. That was the sort of life that she lived now. So far removed from the game nights and Netflix, sleeping in on weekends and boozy brunches that she has once so blindly taken for granted. Now there was sleeping with one eye open, free motel HBO on occasion and rushed check-ins with others like her. The booze was still the same, but it was used as a tool, a vice now to forget.

With the half-empty bottle of bourbon still grasped in her hand in the outdated and questionably sterile smelling room, she stares at the sliver of light coming between the thick curtains that kept her hidden from the outside world. The drinking wasn’t so bad when she had others to do it with, but when she was alone it led her mind to let loose those thoughts she fought so hard to keep stowed away during her waking hours. This is where she found herself now. In a sleep-deprived, drunken haze that was leaning heavily on paranoia and exhaustion.

Billy should have been back by now, she keeps thinking on a broken record in her head. Never known for his punctuality, the nature of the job they set out to do made his absence make her nervous. It reminded her of the night she stayed up waiting for her husband. The night he never came home.

She had a back story, same as the rest of the boys, she was nothing special among them. Dead spouse, Supe behind it, revenge and rage fueling her and keeping her warm at night. Billy had recruited her the same way as Hughie. Same speech, same lies, same Butcher.

It used to bother her when she found out that Billy wasn’t as connected to her as it felt initially. But she decided to use it, to kill off that bit of her that died with her husband and be someone else now. Someone who didn’t believe anything anyone said, someone who could take a stand and do what was right even if it was hard and most radically different, someone who could kill. After the first, it seemed like, what was another one? Her terms of endearment turned to insults and swearing and soon grizzled was a look she didn’t run from. It made life a lot easier, it certainly made working with a man like Billy Butcher easier. Most days. But today was not one of those days.

With another year passing unceremoniously of her husband's death a few days ago, that comforting pull of nostalgia was hard on her thoughts. And the booze wasn’t helping. Another hour passes, another inch went from the bottle and she decides to try to tune out the world for a bit. It was a luxury that is rarely afforded to them now, but this room had a full-size tub and she had some dollar store bath bombs she’d lifted and she wasn’t about to let Billy catch wind of her feminine indulgence and it didn’t seem like he was in any rush to get back. If he wasn’t dead.

A hot bath still has the same baptismal effect as it always had. She felt cleaner and lighter. A woman looked back at her in the mirror, contrary to the usual sexless human form she viewed herself as for ease of functioning. With the ends of her hair damp and curled, falling past her shoulders, the longest it had been since she was a child and only due to a lack of visits to a hair salon and not a conscious choice. It wasn’t exactly something she could take the time to do nowadays. Her skin shone bright with the lotion she kept in her bag, sinking in after the heat opened up her pores. Her cheeks were flushed pink as her nipples as she ran her hand through her hair and shrugged at her reflection. Life on the run was hard on your body, but she has to admit she hasn’t looked better in recent memory. Muscles that visibly moved under the skin from training, and a layer of fat from diner food to keep her looking young despite the years that kept piling up. Her eyes were really where the age showed, but the things they’d seen also added to that in the form of lack of sleep and PTSD.

Walking out of the bathroom with a plume of steam following her in a tank top with a sarcastic line on it she’d grabbed at a truck stop and the most basic cotton panties in a 6-pack she’d grabbed just as unceremoniously from a dollar store. She padded out in fuzzy socks into the tiled floor that lead into the small kitchenette. No matter the nasty muck she got herself elbow deep into on a regular basis, she wasn’t going to let some random disease be what killed her off that she’d surely catch from walking around the motel carpet barefoot. She got one of the highball glasses by the coffee pot and a handful of ice cubes plunked into it before a healthy pour of straight bourbon followed. She looked at her phone in the counter, it was now late and there were no signs of Billy.

“Where the fuck are you Butch?” She mutters before sighing and taking a sip.

“Ya worried bout me, love? Carin’ innit a look I’m accustomed to seein’ on ya.” The man in question responds and she sputters a dribble down her chin in surprise.

”Christ.” She groans, taking a washcloth and dabbing at her shirt.

“Far from it.” He grins, taking his boots off as he watches her from his spot on the bed with his usual smugness.

“You just stand in dark corners unannounced after being…” She looks to be phone again. “Almost a day late on arrival? You get off on scaring women or something?”

“Nah. Not my kink.” He shakes his head. “I had to do it at my own pace, this one. Got a bit messy.”

“Could’ve let someone know? Four more hours and I would’ve been out of here.”

“I couldn’t exactly ring ya up now could I? And I wasn’t four hours later, I’m here now so calm down, keep ya knickers on and pour me whatever ya got.”

“Not a problem.” She rolls her eyes. “I take it everything’s as it should be?”

“More or less.” He takes the glass from her hand as she sits across from him on the other queen bed in the room. “How bout you?”

“Finished early.” She says taking a long drink. Billy can see the tiredness in her eyes as they close and savor the bourbon for a brief second. Her movements weren’t sharp, neither were her words. Although for him she rarely had many.

“And started drinkin' the same from the looks of it.”

“Maybe. Waiting on you, what else was I supposed to do? What took you so long?”

“Had to make another stop before I came back.”

“Where?”

He stops with his elbows on his knees and gives her a once over. “Why?”

“We’re stuck together for the foreseeable future, I think I should know what you’re up to.”

“It’s nothing you need to know. If ya did, I’d tell you. Don’t you have any trust in me after all these years?”

“No.” She states obviously with a laugh at his ridiculous claim. “I’m not a fucking idiot. So tell me where you were.”

“Job ran long. Had to follow to a secondary location.”

“You’re full of shit.” She retorts with a raised brow as she leans on one hand onto the scratchy comforter beneath her.

“Can never get it past you can I?” He tried his charm with a grin and tilt of his head.

“No, you can’t so I don’t know why you INSIST on continuously trying.” She answers with a wave of her glass.

“In my nature to defy.” Is his deflecting, Cheeky answer.

“Although I can agree with that, you’re still avoiding my question.”

“I went to see someone and came back here. Job did run long. That ain’t a lie.”

She purses her lips and studies his face and finds him honest. “Alright...who?”

“Don’t know em” he shrugs and blinks slowly.

“BUTCHER!” She groans loudly and throws her head back. “You’re fucking exhausting!”

“Fanks, love. I’m a bit prideful of my endurance ya know.”

She takes her foot and kicks his shin.

“Fuckin hell, been beaten up enough the past few days let’s not add to it now, yeah?”

“Just fucking tell me then, asshole. Or I’ll smash this glass on that thick skull of yours.”

“I’m inclined to believe you.” He gruffs out at her before rubbing the back of his head. “I went to see Sindy.” He blurts it out quickly as if it would be less painful to deliver the news fast like ripping off a band-aid.

“Of fucking COURSE you did.” She announces her disapproval loudly to the ceiling and stands.

“She had some info for me.” He begins to defend himself against the outpouring of hateful glares she was sending his way. Sure Sindy had a track record of fucking Supe’s. She’s even lured them into a trap once and it only took one time to learn a lesson for her but clearly Butcher was willing to fuck up again.

“Was it about 6 inches inside her? Or am I being too generous?” She snarks back with a swing of hip and hand as she walks back to the counter. There was no care for Butcher seeing her in so little, it was all part of their lifestyle. Not much left to mystery when you got into the situations they did.

“What? You fink ats Why I went?” His posture straightens as he watches her move away.

“The girl is practically on her knees with her tongue out for you Butch. You’re as close to a Supe as us humans get. You’ve gotten close and she gets wet for anything to do with them so...yeah. I do think that’s why.” She stays with clinking ice cubes rattling in her glass with her drunkenly expressive hand movements.

“That fascination with Supes is why I believed her when she said she had something on Homelander.”

“All she’s got for him is daddy issues.Same As what she’s got for you.”

“That’s not very feminist of ya now innit?” He points out with an accusatory hand as he stands. He’d need another drink to deal with whatever mood she was in tonight.

“I don’t give a fuck. Man.” She says with a furrowed brow and another burning gulp. “I don’t trust her. And neither should you.”

“I gave her nothin', she gave me the info. No risk on my behalf.”

“Except what you night catch.” She mutters into her glass.

“What’s up your arse tonight?” He demands as he rests his arms onto the counter and studies her face.

“Fucking .nothing.”

“And THAT everyone.” He speaks to an imaginary crowd. “Is called a textbook lie.”

“You being a dumb ass is grating on me.” She retorts.

“That is more believable but ya not quite there.” He motions for more with his hand to her.

“You’re a reckless twat who would rather fuck that barely legal liar than let your partner know you’re alive.”

“You really fink I went to fuck her?” His response has a laugh to it.

“That’s what I said isn’t it?”

“Why in the FUCK do you fink I’d do that?” He stands and laughs. “You’re fuckin ridiculous sometimes, love.” He chuckles as he takes a drink.

“Because I have eyes? Because you’re a man and she’s...a tiny little... young thing.” She speaks plainly with an outstretched hand to lay out her points.

“What use I got for that, yeah?”

His answer catches her off guard and she blinks rapidly, detecting no lie.

“Man like me? With something like her? Nah, mate.” He shakes his head. “That child's got nothin’ what interests me but the information she leaks.” He states with high brows and a haughty delivery. “I’d rather have a wank than fuck her.” He lowers his voice and leans forward. “Nothin she can offer I need. Not that it is, in fact, any of your business, but in the name of honesty n that, I’ve never been much for that… young and dumb and full of cum thing what she plays at.”

She doesn’t respond, her state of inebriation catching her by surprise as she visibly reacts to his words with a tilted head.

“What? Ya don’t believe me? You can tell when I’m lyin’, Betta than anyone else, what do you fink?”

“You’re telling the truth and that’s so rare I’m shocked.” She responds in a deadpan delivery.

“There she is. Back with the insults. See? I prefer that to someone pretendin’ everyfing I say or do is impressive. I’m a realist, love I got no time for it.” He informs with a sweep of his arm. “In fact, I’d bet you’re a better fuck than her. Real woman like you, eh?”

“Oh fuck off Butch.” She rolls her eyes and takes another drink, suppressing an honest blush. “Can’t believe I was worried you wouldn’t come back. Would’ve been a BLESSING.” She taunts back.

“THERE IT IS! You were worried bout me.” He accuses her with a pointed finger. “That’s why ya bein’ such a mouthy cunt.”

“And what’s your excuse?” She retorts.

“Missed you too, love.” He winks.

“I said I was worried about you. Not that I missed you. Don’t mince words.” She points back.

“I was worried bout you as well.” He observes as she begins to move away and pass him towards the bed.

“Why? I’ve been where I was supposed to be.”

“Because I know what week it is.” He says it with his back turned as to not make her feel more vulnerable about it being said out loud.

She feels a lump in her throat as she meets his eyes after a heavy beat, and sees no playfulness there.

“I know the anniversaries are hard. They were for me before...I knew the truth.” He pauses. “But I saw ya liftin the little bath things and that and thought maybe she’s moving on, ya know? Knocking the dust off for someone, yeah? I didn’t feel bad takin’ my sweet time getting back here but now that I see you were in fact just in the dark drinkin’ like a fish instead of gettin’ fucked, my human side is admittedly almost sorry for it. Almost.”

“I’m fine.”

“A sure sign one is in fact not.” When she doesn’t answer he knows he’s found the source of her bad mood. But he’d never taken it personally. “How longs it been?”

“Since when do you give a shit?”

“Since you do.” He gives a quick answer back as she turns and faces him.

“Four years.” She finally answers after staring him down to figure out his motives. Her lack of sobriety makes her patience thin.

“Been a while, yeah?”

She rolls her eyes and sighs. “Feels longer since I’ve been stuck with you.”

“Ya know, words hurt.” He puts his hand to his bare chest, partially unbuttoned in the common and jarring Hawaiian print. She lets out a snort of laughter and he knows he’s breaking through.

“Nothing hurts you, Butcher.” She says it like a fact and he’s almost proud of it for a moment until he can see she’s jealous of it.

“'Ats not true, innit?”

“Apart from the usual bullets, knives and brass knuckles that is.”

“Although that’s very sweet of ya love, and I’ll be sure to remind you of the compliment once you’re sober so you can regret it, still not true. Just a man, yeah?” He offers with shrugged shoulders.

“Why are you…? What are you doing?” She narrows her eyes at him suspiciously.

“I’m tryin' to be fuckin' proper supportive, right ?” He says louder, his patience wearing down with her already.

“Supportive?” She groans with heavy sarcasm and a raised brow. Her defensiveness was transparent.

“I know what it’s like. I know it’s hard. And admittedly not much gets to ya. I see a lot of old me in you and I know when ya hidin’ shit and as much of a cunt as you can be, it's not a great feelin' to see ya like this.”

She feels a bit exposed suddenly. Kindness in this form wasn’t something she was accustomed to. And coming from someone so close to her now, that she (as much as she hated to admit it) cared about, made her hard shell crack. It was only for a moment but that’s all it took for Billy to see. She quickly deflects. “What are you gonna do? Give me a hug and tuck me in?” Her tone was harsh and he knew it well. Born from pain and a lack of healthy outlet for it, they were one and the same. “Don’t be fucking stupid Butch.” She shakes her head.

“That what ya want? A fuckin' cuddle?” His tone came out more patronizing than he meant but he wasn’t any good at this either. He was just trying to be a good friend and he wasn’t very practiced in it. He raises and it surprises her. “I can give ya a hug, love. If that’s what it takes.” He holds his arms out and his voice tells of the great sacrifice he’s making for her. "I can fuckin' cuddle like any other cunt on this planet-"

“I find that hard to believe.” She rolls her eyes.

“C’mere.”

“No, I don’t want a hug for Christ’s sake.” She puts her hands to his chest.

“Your drunken little brain blurted out what it really wanted first. Psychology 101 shit.” He states as she slaps away at his hands.

“I’m not that drunk. Besides you probably stink of stress sweat and cheap cologne.” She continues to protest but he was stronger, she was drunk and with Billy, it was easier to let him have his way and move on sometimes.

“Come now, love shut ya trap and give in.”

She lets out a sigh and tries to relax her shoulders. Her arms at her sides as she began to feel the warmth pass from his body to hers. With each breath, she grew warmer, more at ease. She didn’t care for it. Not being tense was something she felt uncomfortable with at this juncture.

They stand in silence, not something they were accustomed to. The steady stream of bickering usually followed them everywhere. He had been so adamant about her needing this that the act of wrapping his arms around another person with no intent on killing them was feeling very foreign in the silence. “How longs it been?” Is what comes of his wheels turning about his own lack of non-violent physical contact. Who was he really asking?

“I just told you like a minute ago,” she laments in frustration, her forehead landing against his chest.

“No, not that.” His voice wasn’t as forced as usual, she could feel it rumble in his chest before it hit her ears. “Since you did something like this? Been a long fuckin' time for me.”

“Don’t accidentally snap my neck out of habit please.” She mutters against him and he lets out a huff of a laugh.

“You joke but…”

“It’s been since…” she answers after a brief pause. “Since the funeral.”

“Those don’t count. Not sympathy hugs. Not that “so sorry for your loss” horse shit.”

She lets out a exhalation and she pushes back past that marker in her mind. “Since that morning.”

“Yeah.” Is all he says but she knows he means, me too.

The feelings hit her, the existence outside of her comfort zone and the alcohol weakening the dam in her mind. He feels it happen under his arms, the exhale, the physical act of her guard falling. She moans a sound of frustration, one he’s familiar with himself. “You had to make me think about it.” Her voice is calm and even.

“Can’t let it weaken you like it does.” It was more a suggestion than an order but she snorts into his shirt.

“That’s rich coming from you.”

“Don’t make me weak.” He asserts with a self-assured tone. “Just angry.”

“I prefer distractions to dealing with it. I’ve got enough rage.” She sounds sad and he moves his arm that serve as a means to trap her to her back and gives it a pat.

“Feels easier dunnit?” He nods slowly. “Anger’s easier to use than sadness.”

“That might be the smartest thing you’ve ever said.”

“I am smart. You just don’t listen, mate.”

“And you do? What about this hug? I said I didn’t want it.”

“And we’ve had a nice little moment ‘aven’t we?”

“Shut up, you’ll ruin it” She chuckles and moves her arms around him to his surprise. “You know I hate it when you’re right but...I think it has been too long. Other wise I wouldn’t be enjoying this. AND before you give me some smart ass reply, if you tell anyone I said that I’ll deny it.”

“I was just gonna agree.”

“You know it’s bad when something like this feels good.” She grins again and he’s relieved to see the sadness has passed. “Been too long for... a lot of things.” She raises her brows as she lifts her head. Her face only gave away frustration with its slight frown and unmet eyes.

“What’s at?”

“If I don’t get that rage out... I get sad.”

“Didn’t you just take out a man?”

“Yeah but... not like that. That’s…” She shrugs. “Feels like work almost ya know?” She lets her hands slowly move away and he does the same out of courtesy. She stays close but doesn’t touch him as she runs her hand through her hair and exhales noisily. “I mean FUN.”

“What’s that ?” He asks with a straight face and he sees a genuine laugh light up her face.

With a grin and a nod, she responds, her hand still fluffing her hair. “Seems like I forgot how to have it somewhere along the way. Or rather just not many... opportunities for it I guess.”

“What’s fun then? We got a clear schedule, weapons and anonymity. Surely that can do somethin' for ya.” He offers.

“Don’t need any of that for what I was thinking. Old vices to let the rage out is what my mind goes back to. But all that left with…” her nose wrinkles as she makes a gesture to show her hands were empty. “Him.” Her face falls back into frustration.

“What is it or are ya gonna keep talkin' round it?”

She purses her lips and meets his eyes. “I’m not talking around it.”

“Yeah ya are. Ya never vague bout anything.”

“You have a very slappable face, has anyone ever told you that?”

“They usually don’t. They just do it. Much like you should right now.”

She chuckles again and shakes her head. “Why are you… being your version of caring?”

“Why are you changin' the subject?”

“Because it’s weird and suspicious.”

“Because if your heads in the right place this works better, yeah? If I can get you to decompress, then it’s less of your bitchin' I gotta worry 'bout. Ya less likely to fuck up and generally it might be possible that you’d be a slightly lessened pain in the arse.”

“That… well, that actually makes sense.”

“I talk it all the time love ya just gotta shut up long enough to listen.”

“Charming.” She rolls her eyes and he holds his hands up in surrender.

“Just honest. Unlike you.”

She studied him for a moment. A drawn-out silence he uses to do the same as they push back and forth with their stare.

“Sex.” She finally answers with the same hard look on her face.

For only a second he looks confused before he realizes she’s finally given him what he’d been searching for. “A fuck ain’t nothin love, go ask anyone with a prick out there and you can get it.”

“Therein lies the problem. I don’t work like that. I can’t let anyone in to even have a normal conversation, I certainly can’t fuck someone I don’t know, don’t trust. No time for that shit anymore. So I just… went without it.”

“No wonder you act like such an uptight cunt.”

“What’s your excuse?” She pushes back.

“Could say the same.” His answer surprises her and he sees it as it moves across her face. “Wasn’t gonna with me wife gone, then after all that ended I just never got back out there now did I? Whose got the fuckin time?”

“You are making entirely too much sense tonight.” She gives him an actual smile for the information he’d given freely.

“What about those app things? They have those just for fuckin' now right?”

“And have my picture and info up to be tracked? No thank you. That’s just asking to be killed.”

“Probably right.”

“Mark down the day you agreed with me on something.”

“I’m being very agreeable. In fact, we have the same understanding of this particular issue, we do.”

“Ever since I met you we’ve shared a lot of the same problems.”

“And we’ve solved them all innit we? Together, yeah?”

“Yeah… we have.” Her voice drags from a quiet agreement into a lingering silent stare.

“What the fuck is that look?” He demands as he sees her look him up and down in judgment.

“I-“ She begins and then shuts her mouth and shakes her head.

“Well, ya can’t do that and not finish your sentence. Rude, that is.”

“As much as I hate to admit it, and wouldn’t to anyone else. We do work well together.”

“Fuckin'... and?”

“I don’t think I’m drunk enough to actually say it out loud. Only think it.” She replies with an amused look on her face. ”That in itself is dumb enough.”

“Now ya just teasin’.”

“I couldn’t help but apply us working well together to the current problem.”

His chin pushes back and he narrows his eyes at her. “What the fuck are you on about?”

“That there.” She points his way. “Shows me you know exactly what I’m on about.” She sass’s back. “And that reaction is why I didn’t share.”

“What reaction? I’m being perfectly normal.”

“Normal doesn’t exist for you and I.” She purses her lips. “And that whole, suspicious look you get with your beady little eyes.”

“Not the way I’d be talkin' to someone I wanted to fuck.” He gives a wry smile.

“I didn’t say I wanted to.” she clarifies. “I only said I couldn’t help but see a temporary solution available to us for a mutual problem.” She relaxes her body language and steps further away. “Besides, probably wouldn’t be worth my time anyway.”

“Now wait just a fuckin minute.” She almost laughs out loud at how easy it was to pull the reaction from him. “I could shag the skin right off ya bones if I wanted to. Be the best you’d ever had, yeah?” He says defensively with a pointed finger her way.

Half turned towards him she smirks. “Butcher, baby… those are some big words to live up to.”

“And when have you known me to oversell?”

“Only constantly.” the same lazy smirk remains as she holds the upper hand between them again.

“Fuck off.” He mutters quickly and swats the statement away with his hand. “You really suggestion this or are ya havin' a wank?”

“I wasn’t sure at first but now you’ve gone and promised to be the best fuck I’ve ever had and I’d be lying if I said your claims weren’t intriguing.” she explains with a sarcastic lilt to hide the truth behind it.

“I know what I’m good at.” He offers up with a charming delivery of a casual shrug.

“But it’s been so long…”

“Not something ya forget how to do, love.”

“That’s… yeah, I suppose you’re right.” They measure each other up wordlessly, taking in the view of the other through a new lens. “Would you want to?” Her face gives away her hesitation, and he’s honestly a bit sad for her that she’d think he would find her unattractive enough to not be interested.

“I had purposely tried to not think about such things, yeah? But I mean… ya ain’t bad a ‘tall love.” He pauses to watch a slow nod of acceptance from her. “I’d ask if you would but clearly…” he raises his brows and openly gestures with his hands and she rolls her eyes. “Your idea now. Don’t act like that now that it’s on the table.”

“I’d prefer the bed.” She offers a more friendly smile.

“Cheeky bugger.” He chuckles. “More of an old school approach for you eh?”

“I wouldn’t say that.” She shakes her head. “Another reason I can't do it with just any rando off the street.”

“What are you trying to get me into? I don’t wanna end up hogtied in a dress with something up me arse.”

She grins at his response in a light-hearted way. “None of that. Well... you wouldn’t be the one getting tied up anyway.”

“Ah.” He nods I’m understanding. “That's why you need the trust innit?”

“Have to know I won’t be killed for starters, and two I need because there’s always a line, need a safe word and someone that’ll listen.”

“How we talkin' here love?”

“Like you haven’t wanted to slap me around for years now” She jokes.

“Not in particular no.”

His answer surprises her and she studies him for a moment. “It’s been so long are you sure you want it to be with me?”

“If not you… who? Like you so eloquently said... trust 'n that.”

“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.” She rubs her face.

“Inevitable yeah? Two good lookin' people, so much time alone, so much stress with work. Plenty of pornos made about this very situation.” He sees her crack a smile. “Besides after when ya want it again I can use it as a bartering chip.”

“If there is a next time.” She corrects. “Not exactly selling me on this ya know.”

“What ya want? Roses? Box 'a sweets? Never been one for poetry, love.”

“It’s hard to remember how to… begin.”

“So you really wanna do this? Have ya a dirty little secret?” He moves closer and the playfulness is clear on his face. She wasn’t sure if it was genuine enthusiasm or there for her sake.

“Ugh. Don’t make me say it.” She grunts.

“I am a modern man and I ain’t one for sending out rapey vibes so I’m afraid ya gotta love.”

She takes a deep breath and sits down her glass. “Alright. Okay. Yes. I consent.” She states with open arms that plop down at her sides.

“Wunnit so hard, yeah?”

“Hopefully not as hard as you’ll be.”

He lets out a deep laugh. “Now there’s a good girl.”

The words hit her just right, she tries to fight that learned response of pushing him away when he got too close. He tests the waters, looking her over with a clear intent, getting his head in the right space as she did the same. She didn’t meet his face but looked him over in his half unbuttoned shirt and jeans. She’d seen him practically naked, patched him up and knew he was a strong lean machine underneath the goofy tourist shirt. The same for him could be said about her, years of post-attack care and close living quarters on the road left little to the imagination.

He sees her gulp, but doesn’t bear it. Her nerves were given away by the bob of the lump in her throat.

“It seems weird to start by kissing you but... that seems to make the most sense.”

“Ya tense as a virgin, love.” He reaches out and rubs her exposed arms to initiate a connection and make her more comfortable.

“It’ll pass.” She tells convincingly.

“What’ll it take to make ya melt for me?”

She feels his gravely voice close and shuts her eyes with a deep breath. Okay, she could do this. “Make it worth my time Butcher.” She finally meets his eyes, hers darker now and peering up at him. “I don’t want to have to think. I just wanna feel. I know I can be dominant in a fight but I don’t wanna be with sex. I’ll say...shoelace if you’re too rough. But don’t be afraid to... use your strength.”

“Noted, love.” He gives a nod and before she can flutter lashes in response to her quickening heartbeat as he gets his hand around her throat. She feels that long missed warmth flood her body. There was no fight response, no fear for the squeeze on her delicate throat, only a soft exhale as she closed her eyes that made him feel the same sort of feeling for her in his stomach. “From the way you just turned into a puddle for me I’ll take it I’m on the right track.”

“Mmm Hmm.” She nods. “Give it to me rough and dirty, Butch. Use all that anger I’ve seen first hand on me. You know I can take it.”

He moves fast and pushes her against a wall with a generic picture frame thumping force. “Ya gonna, pet.”

She hums and swallows, a little moan escaping her as he looms over her and she feels small in his shadow. He was a powerful man and she needed to have hers taken away for the night.

He lingers over her skin in warm lines of breath that escape his broad nose. “You know… you are a lovely little bird.” His fingertips trace across her skin in light, teasing lines up her arms and across her chest. Keeping his hand at her throat as a reminder to be still and let him take the lead, he loses his grip as he becomes occupied by watching her body react to him. He gives a flick to her nipples and wets his lips. “Hard already?” A rhetorical question comes out with a patronizing tone that for the first time she didn’t mind.

She watches his face as his eyes focus on the way her tits bounce with every pinch of her nipples he pulls and releases through her shirt. She sees the focus and the want reflected in them and welcomes the warm feeling being wanted gave her. “Let me get a look at these love.” He speaks softly, calloused fingers pulling her top down, the weight of her chest holding the neckline in place as he traced the rise and fall, the blooming of goosebumps on her skin that spread as he freed her to the air. There weren’t so many words as he got to take her in for purely pleasure for the first time. A deep hum from his throat she felt rumble down her torso as he played and pinched passed through them both. She feels her muscles tense as the touch sends pleasure straight down to her center with each twist. As if he were running an inner monologue he didn’t want to share, he grunts out “Rough, eh?” And proceeds to send the first jolts of pain and pleasure through her with a hard and firm twist. He sees her knees wobble as she lets out the first moan for him. It was almost as if he’d willed himself to forget about the female form and all the arousal that came from touching all the softness the right way. He’d not touched a woman without intent to harm in so long. But that was the last thing he wanted to do to her.

For as much as they fought and bickered, he did enjoy her company. Which is more than he could say for most anyone else. She was a driven and demanding woman with work, and that butted heads with his hard and fast style more often than not. But when the jobs were over and they had those precious few hours of freedom before they traveled back to headquarters, she was downright lovely when the conditions were right. Because of the balance they had, the trust and honesty, he’d shut off any piece of his lizard brain that would want to fuck her, lest he not be razor-sharp or ruin what they had by acting like a boy. But now he had her whimpering as he manipulated her dark rosy nipples, watching her thighs rub together and feeling a rush he hadn’t in years.

Taking him from his inner reflection, the quick sharp slaps to the sensitive peaks he gave her had her biting her lips. She finally makes a demand. “Suck on my tits Billy.” A strung-out voice he’d never heard before escapes and it’s like the femininity of it grabbed him by the balls as he’s commanded to obey and takes the weight of her into his mouth with a content groan. The use of his name and not her given nickname of Butch softens him, it was rare he heard his name said so softly. “Yeah, like that.” She heavily sighs, head knocking back against the wall. She could feel the heat spreading from every erogenous zone of her body, relaxing her muscles except those between her thighs that had started throbbing to the rising rate of her heartbeat.

He tried to remember the last time a woman praised him in such a way and going all the way to his marriage, he could not. He knew her to run hot in temper and her skin reflected the same. The fullness of her chest rising and falling as he gave in to shut his eyes and latch onto the bud that gave away how much she needed what he was giving her. Listening to her breathy sighs and feeling the thud of her heart against her sternum, he forgets himself for a moment. Releasing her neck and placing two calloused hands on her ribs to hold her close as his mouth nursed at her skin. With licks and pants she watches him hold her chest together and indulge fully. Licking her lips, she feels heat in her chest grow, the feeling of being so clearly wanted. Lips that drag across her skin as the kisses rose higher and higher to find her neck, her hands leaving her side to touch his shoulders lightly as if she’d find he wasn’t really there and this was all a sex-deprived fantasy she’d snap out of at any moment.

She moans as she feels his teeth pressing into the tight muscles of her neck.

“Like that, love?” His tone a clear tease and call back to her response earlier.

“Mmmph, Billy…” She exhales as his mouth lingers by her ear to send a spread of goosebumps down her skin from the tickle of breath on her rarely touched skin. She rolls her head towards him, a nuzzle of cheek to cheek, her hand finding its way to his hair, finding it softer than she thought it would be between her fingers.

“Sayin me name and I’m not even inside ya yet.” He teases with a breathy laugh she feels roll down her spine. It was distinct and masculine, the voice of someone she trusted and it made the last of her resolve melt away. “Bet you’re soaked already innit ya?” He accuses her, a scold she closes her eyes at hearing the tone of. Keeping her close with a strong hand to her back, the other trails between her breasts and down to the thin cover of fabric over her plush mound.

He noted the peaks and valleys on her body, a solid core with the swell of a soft belly before reaching a cotton covered nest of dark hair. His teasing proves valid as his fingertips are met with the warm patch of wetness as they travel lower between her legs. “Fuckin 'ell you are needin' it aren’t ya?” He remarks almost to himself as he sees the slickness on his fingers.

“Yeah, that’s kinda why I asked you Butch.” She sass's back as he looks up to find her watching his face.

“Don’t ruin it with that smart mouth now eh?” He scolds with a tilt of his head as he pushes his fingers covered in her into her mouth.

He’s met with a muffled “Mmph.” Of surprise before acceptance of the same sound as two of his fingers press against her tongue.

“I’d love to do this when you get to actin' like a mouthy cunt on me.” A darker tone to his words now, falling back into a role, indulging his rougher side to let some of the evil out, just as she was in her way. “Just shove something in ya mouth and shake you about yeah?” He holds her jaw and gives it a good shake with a tight grip. Her eyes flutter and roll, letting the orders and insults break her down and take away the tension she held constantly in her muscles. “Or should I just…?” He begins with his hand moving to her throat once more and pressing her into the wall with a squeeze. He feels her swallow against his palm, a slight effort behind her inhale.

He doesn’t meet her eyes, finding it easier to do what she asked that way. If he looked into them he would see her needful and trusting and that wasn’t something he was fully prepared for and he knew it. No one needed Billy Butcher. Most didn’t even want him and one of the few humans to ever connect with him and even be fond of him in a genuine way looking at him like that wasn’t something he could face. He felt a bit of a coward for it, but tonight wasn’t the night to deal with such things. Tonight was about losing tension, not adding more to their relationship.

He moves quickly to place a firm slap to her wet center, a snap of skin and wet echoing across the room.

“Fuck.” She almost whines in a heavy exhale. A slumping against his other hand on her neck that let him know he could still push.

“She does like it a little rough, eh?” Chuckles at her slack face, lips pressing against each other. In quick succession, he lands his hand harshly to her nipples, then down to her center, a slap to her hips and thighs that leave her pink in his wake. He stops after the pattern elicits a noise of discomfort from her, but no sign of her safe word was on her lips.

“S’good.” She mumbles and nods, eyes that looked tired glancing his way for a moment to let him know he was still well within the rules. He was slowly getting tougher and the sting of skin sent the thrills through her she’d long missed. But she was giving him a rush of his own he hadn’t realized he’d missed so badly.

With a nod of acknowledgement, he moves on, ready to push this forward as the ache of his own cock pushing against his pants was something that needed attending to. He steps back, a posture that said more than his words could about their roles for tonight.

He leaves her stood slouched against the wall, eyes hooded and following his hands as they moved to the buttons on his shirt.

“Take it off.” Is his command, but she knew what he meant. She liked the dark stare, the way his lean body didn’t waver as he toed off his half tied boots. His hand grazes over the bulge in his black jeans before his hands move to unbuckle the heavy hardware of his belt while she strips her top over her head and throws her panties onto her bed unceremoniously.

With a stalking and wolfish demeanor, he hovered over her prickled skin, everything tightened and hard to the cool air as he stands in an undone shirt and pants. “Look at you, love.” Raspy praise comes from barely moving lips as his hands brush her hair behind her shoulders. She almost flinches as the movements with an unknown destination come near her face. They were both in the right headspace now. “Why would I go to that little tart at the club when I could come back and have some of ‘is yeah?”

He means it, she’s surprised to find. His voice was frank and his hands pinched and picked at her nipples and curves. She doesn’t reply, eyes averted as his rake over her naked body.

“Gonna give this a proper seeing to, eh?” He groans as he stretches his neck, his palms back on her bare skin, warming her in more places than they touched. He pulled her to his bare chest roughly, hands on her ass and squeezing tight before a few solid spanks were given much to her delight. “You want fucked hard, pet? Or is the handlin' ya like in such a way?”

The affectionate name doesn’t dampen the mood between them. “Both.” She whispers out, hands to his chest and feeling the curl of chest hair under her fingers. It reminds her of her husband for just a moment, laying next to him and playing with it before she fell asleep. Billy wasn’t exactly a substitute for him but, perhaps he would prove a worthy distraction in the least. A warm body to ease the loneliness, an ear to listen. She didn’t need much.

“Ask and you shall receive.” a statement that answers more than he knew was announced loudly as he gives her one last set of slaps  before grabbing her arms and spinning her around to face the bed. With one hand holding her wrists to the bend of her back, the other runs a single finger down her spine to make her shudder before giving a hard spank to her bare ass. Her knees buckled slightly, a sharp gasp then a mewl asked him for more.

He bent her over, hands now on the bed per his orders in the form of grunts and slaps. He goes in rounds, breaking her down slowly with slaps to her ass, thighs and pussy lips. Each time getting more red and swollen than the last. He rubs the spots he hits, a quick soothe after the harshness. He feeds off her sounds, and all moans and gasps of pleasure to match with his deep and dominating growls and patronizing take as she flinches.

He knows she’s had enough when he sees the drip of wetness from her lips between her legs. He swipes it before it’s gone with his fingers in the heat of her to pinch her clit and rub to ready her as she buckled towards the bed with a submissive moan. “Soaked little cunny, innit?” He coos her way before pushing two fingers inside her.

The first push of pure pleasure was over her, eyes rolling back and tongue out over her bottom lip as she gave over to it. His movements were confident, always certain and steady against her. She’d needed that control taken and he was proving to be worthy of the task. With curling and pounding fingers he works her until she’s close, drenched in her and feeling her tighten he leaves her exposed and bent over while he strokes himself to the sight of her. A soft and pink fluffy cunt between two strong thighs and an arse that he was champing at the bit to watch bounce against him. One he’d smacked before but only to piss her off, and never for the purpose of what he had planned for her.

A firm grip on himself he pumped, planning for what he was going to give her, which was years worth of pent up aggression. He was challenged to hurt her, and even if that wasn’t in his nature towards women and sex he was not one to back down from a challenge. He was set in his mind to leave her with no choice but to admit he’d fucked her good and proper. And deny that she wanted to do it again, a sure sign she did as she wouldn’t be thinking about it already.

Tapping himself on her lower back, grabbing her hips and holding her where he wanted her, knees knocked up on the bed, he groans and watches  her move herself towards him, seeking him out.

“Hungry little cunt, eh?”

“Billy just... fuck me... please.” She whines, a needful grunt as she rubbed her slit against him.

“That’s a good girl.” He softly praises as he angles himself and notches inside her, an immediate release of wordless noise from them both. “Fuckin' 'ell.” He mutters before feeling the resistance around him as he buried himself inside her. His hands held fast to her hips as he settled inside her, savoring it for a moment.

A breathy. “Yes.” Escapes her as her head drops down to the bed.

He keeps up with her neediness for it as he begins a solid rhythm, pacing himself to adjust to her tightness that only seemed to squeeze him harder with every meeting of their hips. She pushed back as he slapped her ass. Pink welts that bounced on his strong hips, both picking up on the pace between them easily, as they had always done in fighting, it seemed to translate well with fucking.  

There were no words as she gripped the sheets, pushed back with all she had, that satisfying slap of balls to her clit, the hollow smack of skin to skin as they worked to a feverish pace. She could feel more growing in her, him filling her to satisfy that stretch she needed from him. With a snarl, beads of sweat falling down his forehead he pushes forward, grabbing a handful of her hair to pound her harder, give her what they both needed now. She cries out, every breath forces out from the hips as her back arches beautiful back for him.

“Fuck yes.” She cries in bursts that match his pace. Her head bobbed and her tits bounced and knocked together adding to the slaps and claps that filled the otherwise quiet room.

A hard slap to her ass again makes a deeper and more sultry sound arise from her. Billy knew it, a grown woman now in her final throws, enjoying herself and letting go. He doesn’t let the moment pass, giving her all he’s got left in power. He yanks her arms back and leaves her helpless as he pulls them back and lets her chest bow out and head hang back  as he rides her.

A happy squeal escapes, hums and laughs that were different than any he’d heard from her. “That’s fucking right Billy, give it to me. Harder.” A playful call demands of him.

He grabs her by the throat, one hand to her chest, pulling her against him as his nails sink into the meat of her. She moans and mewls, closed eyes and snarling smile as he tightens his grip around her neck, hips still pounding away and gaining speed to finish the job. Another spank, another slap, and then to her dripping cunt he continues. At first he continues the pain, then a rapid back and forth over her swollen clit that makes her hips buck and her lips plead for more.

A choked out “Don’t stop.” Leaves her as he feels her stomach tensing and her breathing deepen. He’s almost tempted to, to be cruel one last time but the feel of her against him, the face full of vanilla-scented hair and his mouth at her ear, he chooses the much more merciful route as he knew he didn’t want to part from her.

“Come on this cock you fuckin slag.” He growls and she smiles in response. He gives a bite to her ear and sucks at her neck as little chants of yes make it to his ears. “I fuckin' feel ya love, be a good girl for me and cum and I’m gonna fill you up. Fuck you’re gonna be feelin' me inside you for days.”

Another deep and content moan gets past his white-knuckled hand on her throat as she holds fast to his arm, then reaches back to grab a handful of hair. A submissive whimper, both to him and to the needs of her body, riding that cusp and waiting to fall, they meet eyes. Something they’d been avoiding but now they were locked, both matched in their faces in ecstasy. She feels it, that pull for more, she needed something to finish.

He sees her lips quiver, her eyes big and batting and he answers her wordless plea and kisses her. It’s not a first kiss either had had before. It was teeth and tongue and gripping lips that would suddenly part to gasp. It was rough and desperate just as their lives were.

They both feel it, it was a final straw, a touch of tenderness and intimacy masked in angry brows and crude words in the form of a kiss that pushed them over. Being the gentleman he was, or could be, he makes sure she finished first. Pounding her through the waves she rode, the hips stuttering, the cum running down his balls and her thighs from a thorough beating of her insides. He knocks her to the bed to breathe, giving that lovely little arse of hers a final whipping and clenching his hands down to the bones of her hips he follows her to the bed, fucking into her flat on her stomach.

The new angle left her squirming, hitting deep inside her as she let her whole body feel how good it felt to have his weight on her. She sees his hands fist the sheets next to her head. Masculine grunts as he empties out and they’re left in the aftermath.

With a less harsh smack on her ass, more of a well done than a dominating feel to it he collapses next to her. The silence falls in the room as their breathing slows. This was the part he had been avoiding. The consequences of their actions. Doing something bad was never lackluster, it was the moments after when you were faced with what you’d done that weren’t fun to deal with.

But as she always did, she takes a situation and makes the best of it. Finally moving with a groan, she slowly moves to back off the bed and stretches, looking at the damage done to her backside. He hears a laugh and then a tensionless sigh. “You know I hate to admit when you’re right.” She grins as she rolls to his side to face her. “But that was a… very job well done, mate.” She laughs and turns to walk with loose hips to the bathroom.

“Maybe you’ll listen to me more then, eh?” He smiles and watches her disappear behind the cheap wooden door.

“Wouldn’t count on it.” He hears as he gives a charming smile in her direction she doesn’t see. He pulls the blankets back, a quick strip of the clothes left around his ankles and a swipe over his junk to ease the sticky feeling growing the AC air of the room.

He settles in, the light switching off and a still naked woman approaching him. He was enjoying the confidence and ease she held herself with now. Hands running through her hair as she stood and looked between the two beds. “So…” She says with a nod.

“Yeah?”

“Do we share a bed now?” She asks with a tilt of her head.

“Been a night of a lot of firsts. Don’t have to stop there. I still haven’t proved myself to be a cuddler.”

“True.” She smiles and moves to slide into bed with him.

“If ya think you can keep your hands off me you can sleep in here. But if ya gonna be waking me up and demanding my cock, ya know I need my beauty rest, love.”

“Shut up Butch.” She laughs as presses her back against him. “You wish.” She shakes her head and settles. “No amount of sleep's gonna help you.”

“Good to see not even good cock can keep ya from bein' a cunt.”

“It’s just you. You’re lucky that way.” She grins as she accepts the arm around her waist and the warmth of his breath in her hair.

“Yeah… ‘Spose I am a lucky bastard that way.” He groans after a good stretch. Now all that was left was to prove his cuddling capabilities, and with her hand around his wrist, as it settles up to her breasts, wiggling hips resting directly against his, they were both well on their way to finding out the outcome of the second challenge of the night.

@jaegeeeeer​ @negansdirtygirl22​

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