#wait some parts are so messy jfc

[politemenacephd]

Arachnophilia: (Part Fifteen)

Drider!Miguel O'Hara x Reader (+18)

Chapter Masterlist 🕷️

Content: Heavy Voyeurism/Mild cuckoldry, Fingering, Bondage, Praise kink, Oral (reader recieving and giving), PinV sex, Creampie, Breeding kink, Size difference, Monsterfucking, Masturbation.

Word count: 6200 Notes: this really might be the most smuttiest smut i've ever done, this shit made me blush writing it, jfc pls enjoy

You’d hoped to get home to Mig as soon as you left Miguel’s office, but at the last minute you were been called to help wrangle an escaped Lizard with a few other lower-level spiders.

You hated not being able to message Mig about your whereabouts. He knew you might be gone for most of the day but you knew he’d worry regardless, and with nothing to distract his mind it must be so much worse.

You took a few dangerous risks while trying to capture the escapee just to get it done faster, risks that your colleagues absolutely noticed. When they asked what you were thinking and you just awkwardly shrugged them off, you saw in their eyes the same mix of morbid curiosity you saw in everyone now.

Everyone knew. You couldn’t avoid it now. Whether Miguel had snapped after your fight and spread it even wider you didn’t know, but you knew you’d just have to learn to live with the universe’s judgement.

You were dating a spider. Big deal. Everyone here was a spider in some way or another, and nobody looked at MJ weirdly.

By the time you returned to Mig’s universe it was getting dark, with the sky a messy palette of dark red and purple above the darkened silhouette of the pines. You called up to Mig after dropping the tech you’d brought at the base of the nest.

‘MIG! Babe, you okay?’

‘Ah, mi arañita!’

You paused, your hand hovering over the rope ladder. Did he sound okay? You tilted your head as you replayed his voice. That was weird, he sounded almost worried? Was he still stressed out?

You grappled onto the rope and tore your way up to the entrance.

‘Hey! I’m okay Miggy, don’t worry!’

‘Arañita! Don’t—’

You grabbed the door right as he spoke, but you didn’t hear the last part of his sentence as you grunted to get over the edge.

‘Hey baby! Are you—’

You jumped out of your skin as you pushed the door aside, only barely catching yourself from falling back out and onto the earth below.

‘AH—WHAT—YOU?!’

Miguel was sitting in the nest, his body perched on one of the stools to the right side of the central fire. He didn’t even look up as you entered, but Mig rushed to steady you from falling.

‘Arañita, are you okay?’ he whispered. You didn’t hear; you were utterly fixated on Miguel.

‘What are you doing here?!’ you snapped.

Miguel narrowed his eyes, still refusing you eye contact.

‘Change of plans. Until you fill out the full paperwork to sanction this relationship, I’ve filed for an emergency supervision order. I need to be sure that you’re not breaking any rules.’

You were incredulous. Wait, is this what he’d meant? Was he really that petty? This man who was supposed to be in charge of the multiverse?

‘What- what the fuck are you— Why not put a camera up? Why not fucking warn us first?’ you snapped, your hands flying wildly as you pointed between him and the nest.

‘You could turn off a camera’ Miguel noted. ‘Besides, it’s a waste of resources.’

‘Oh, and the head of the society wasting his night watching us personally wasn’t a waste of resources?’ you argued back.

Miguel was keeping a straight face, but his smug aura radiated out of him like pus. He simply curled his lip and scoffed. ‘My job is to avoid anomalies. I’m doing that now, by ensuring that you’re both… following orders, and remaining on birth control, and that you’re not getting hurt. It seemed- the right approach, to me, as boss.’

‘You don’t need to watch us to prove that!’ you snapped back. ‘Put a- tracker in my fucking patch or something, or let me do the check ups like we agreed!’

Miguel had the audacity to yawn as you stared at him with an open mouth and clenched fists. ‘I could. But that would be a breach of your physical rights, you’d have to sign off on it, and you haven’t gone through the company mandated relationship therapy or de-escalation training. We need to agree the terms of surveillance. Until then it seemed safest to keep you on observation. That’s all.’

You opened your mouth to argue back but Miguel was faster. He raised his hand, halting you in your tracks, as those cold red eyes lingered on your face. ‘Or, would you rather hand over your watch?’ he said, his voice dipping as he spoke.

Your eyes narrowed until it hurt, your forehead furrowing with the injustice of it all.

‘You—You petty bitch.’

Both Mig and Miguel seemed startled by your language. You pointed your finger squarely at Miguel’s face, your lips drawn back over your bared teeth.

‘You petty bitch. You really think I’ll let you do this? Signing off orders so you can invade my space, because I wouldn’t sleep with you?!’

Miguel’s lips twitched. Was he holding back the urge to smile?

Mig, in contrast, looked horrified. His eyes darted between the two of you.

‘He- arañita, I-I don’t understand’ he stammered. You looked at him with nothing but sympathy in your eyes.

‘Your variant, there, revealed that apparently while I was in heat, he was hoping to— what did you say Miguel? Help me out? Ease that, hormonal pain? Something as slimy as that, anyway. He even asked why I picked you over him, and now he’s here, what a fucking surprise, huh?’

‘Mm. That’s quite the accusation. Shame you don’t have any evidence’ Miguel noted as he admired his claws.

You felt Mig beside you bristling violently.

‘You… Is this true?’ Mig murmured. He was addressing Miguel, not you, which was a comfort. He clearly believed you, as he was clutching you so tightly against his side that it was crushing your ribs.

‘Yes’ Miguel said. ‘It’s true. Of course I was interested. They reeked of heat, it was distracting. Repulsive almost. The most- desperate stench. But, that was supposed to stay between us. And it will. Because like I said, it’s your word against mine.’

‘You—’

Mig took a step forward but froze again when Miguel raised his claw, pointing it directly at your watch.

‘Again. I will remove your watch if you don’t follow the societies rules. Understand?’

You and Mig both glanced at each other. The hopelessness in your eyes was clear; you could lose your watch, and then you’d lose Mig. With a frustrated huff you turned and stormed across the nest. ‘Fucking—asshole’ you hissed beneath your breath.

Mig followed and caught you in his arms as you practically fell into his lower abdomen. You allowed his fur to muffle your continued insults.

‘It’s okay arañita. We’ll be okay.’

His soothing words were like honey, warm and sweet after a long and exhausting day. You settled into his grip.

‘So- fucking unfair’ you grumbled into his fluff. Mig didn’t disagree.

‘You need to learn some accountability’ Miguel snapped across the room. ‘You chose to do this. You chose to put yourself in a situation where you could cause an anomaly, and even though I can’t bring it forward in formal writing, you decided as a member of my society to get close to someone who is a threat. Now its my job to make sure you’re safe.’

You felt Mig breathing on your neck as he turned to watch his counterpart. His lips parted as he tasted the air with his tongue, feeling the brewing tension in the back of his throat.

In his heart, something was changing.

He’d spent so much of his life terrified of the man before him. Miguel had posed himself as the better O’Hara, the superior O’Hara, the one who knew what was best for him. But, was that true?

Mig had been told he wasn’t safe, worthy of love or affection. He was disgusting compared to Miguel, a monster in the flesh, and yet he’d soothed his self-loathing by promising that they were at least both monsters inside. Both bound to abstinence for the greater good.

And this hypocritical scum, now sitting in his nest, had tried to steal his arañita from out under his paws? How could he?

But you weren’t with Miguel, were you? Mig looked down at you as his rage boiled over. His poor arañita, nestled into his fur. No, you were with him. You’d slept with him, and you were still alive.

You’d looked him in the eye, knowing what he’d done, and you’d said he was still beautiful to you. You said you’d stay. Not with Miguel, but with him, the monster.

In his heart, something was definitely changing.

‘Fine. Miguel, you may stay’ Mig bluntly replied. ‘I’ll let you observe.’

Miguel, ignorantly assuming Mig’s concession was a sign of him backing down, took a step forward. He had such a smug look on his face.

‘Good. If you want to continue this charade, then you have to—’

Miguel’s words turned to muted gibberish as you squeaked. Mig had grabbed you between his forelegs and arms, and while Miguel had been preparing his self-righteous speech, he’d lifted you up into the air. This wouldn’t have been that unusual spare for one thing: Mig had shifted his fluffy little foreleg between your thighs, and now it was lightly probing at your clothed pussy.

Miguel just stared, too blankly shocked to respond.

‘Mi arañita, I’m so glad you’re home. I missed you so much.’

Mig purred softly as his hands began to grope you in a similar manner. He cupped your chest and your waist with his clawed fingers, lightly ripping the fabric to reveal the tender skin beneath. He prodded your clit a second time and noted the way you squirmed.

‘M-Mig, fuck—that’s, sensitive—’

‘Mmhm. Soft little pretty spider’ Mig breathed. ‘So, so pretty… Let me help you relax.’

‘What- the, f- what the fuck are you doing?’ Miguel spat in disgust.

Mig’s foreleg continued to squish against your clit, the fluffy appendage moving in neat little circles over the bunched-up fabric. He pushed it in until your lips were perfectly highlighted by the thin silk. You felt Miguel staring.

‘F-Fuck—’ Your legs kicked involuntarily as a whimpered moan escaped you.

‘I said, what do you think you’re doing?!’ Miguel repeated louder.

‘I’m just abiding by the rules, sir’ Mig hissed. ‘If you want to observe, then you may observe. But this is my home, and I’ll act how I usually would on my own territory.’

It clicked for you then, still suspended in a potent mix of embarrassment and pleasure, what Mig was doing. You caught Miguel’s eye. This selfish asshole, who’d hounded and followed and attempted to embarrass you at every turn, was now stuck here watching Mig ravage your body. Against your better judgement, you were filled with the sheer thrill of embarrassing him right back.

You gave in and relaxed in Mig’s grip. ‘M-Miggy, fuck—more, please—’

You whimpered as he moved in to kiss your neck. His full lips were warm and wet on your jugular. You felt his tongue on your skin, his claws kneading your chest. A full body shudder went through you as he gently bit down and sucked.

‘F-Fuck- Mig—’

He was rough on your neck, his fangs easily piercing down through the soft flesh. It was a potent mix of pain and pleasure, especially with his paw still massaging your clit. Your blood was pumping at this point. Your pussy throbbed in short bursts with each tender caress.

‘You—Y-You—’

To his horror, Miguel stammered. He couldn’t even find the words to berate you with. All he could do was stand and stare, eyes fixated on this ravenous display of sexual need, powerless and confused.

‘Mm—mm—’ Mig released your neck with a wet pop and a satisfied grunt, revealing a deep red and blue hickey mark. He kissed it once.

‘Mm- you like that, arañita? Mi tesoro?’ he whispered.

‘Yes, fuck—so much. I missed you so much.’

Miguel continued to stare as Mig dropped you to the mattress. He watched his variant crawl across you, with his abdomen rustling and his soft paws tapping. He was drooling venom, practically shaking with the adrenaline rush of having an audience to his physical validation.

You reached out and sleepily welcomed him with open arms, drawing him down with your arms around his neck.

‘Let me mate with you, arañita’ Mig begged, his voice muffled as he kissed your neck. ‘Please. I need you. I need you. Te necesito, mi tesoro, te lo pido por favor.’

‘Yes’ you breathed, ‘yes. Please.’

Miguel snapped his eyes away and gripped the edge of the nest with his claws. He couldn’t stand this. If he left, he was a liar, but if he stayed he had to endure this show. He could tell you to stop, but, could he force you to stop?

He could have theoretically started a fight. He could have. He could have continued barking at you to stop.

But he didn’t. He just stood there, eyes on the wall and arms folded, trying to ignore your sweet little whimpers as Mig tore your suit aside.

He drew you close with his spider legs and began to spin a silken web across your bare skin, easily turning and spinning your body. He was soft, dexterous, so alien on your human skin. Such a filthily delicious taboo.

You lay back and let your monster bind you. You succumbed to him far too easily.

Mig spun you into a shibari style tie, with a neat little spider web on your chest and your hands tightly bound at your sides. He finished by binding your ankles with webbing he’d attached from the ceiling, using it to draw them up until they were taut and spread, with your hips right at the same height as where his phallus would emerge.

‘There. Perfect. Are you comfortable, arañita? In my web?’ he asked.

‘Y-Yes’ you rasped.

You watched Mig give an affectionate grunt as he admired you from above. He was huge. You saw his abdomen twitching and rustling with anticipation, the black fur faintly glowing the same red as his eyes.

‘Mig’ you whimpered, your lips pathetically wet. You were so hot it hurt.

‘Arañita…’

Mig purred as he put his clawed hand on your naked rear, giving your right ass cheek a firm squeeze. He wanted to look at your tight little hole, desperately dripping and clenching around nothing, aching for attention. You felt him brush one calloused finger against it and jolted in place.

‘That’s my little spider’ he purred. You felt him circling his finger around your entrance, stroking that velvety flesh until you whined.

‘Mi tesoro, my precious thing. Let me see how much you’ve missed me.’

He pushed two fingers in and you melted. The moan that escaped your lips was loud enough to echo, loud enough to grate on Miguel’s ears until he hissed.

He was trying not to look. He was facing the wall, body rigid as stone, but the noises were getting to him regardless. His mind kept imagining what you felt like.

‘You were supposed to be observing, sir’ Mig noted. He was still fucking you with his fingers, still spreading you wide as you dribbled over his hand, but his eyes were fixed on his counterpart now.

Miguel refused to turn. His eyes darted, once, and he immediately felt that disgusting flush rising in his cheeks.

‘I’ll- kill you, I swear to god’ Miguel seethed.

‘You can just go’ Mig offered. He was aggravatingly calm, the only emotion in his voice the slight pant of arousal from feeling you clench around his fingers. ‘If you’re- uncomfortable, with how I conduct myself with my mate.’

‘I can’t just, go, I am stationed here’ Miguel spat. ‘YOU could have some human dignity and cover yourself up!’

‘This is my home. My territory. THIS is my territory’ Mig replied coldly, emphasising the word ‘this’ by pushing his fingers as deep as he could. You bucked your hips and cried out in response, something that make Miguel’s stomach knot.

‘It is normal for- males, to assert their territorial claim. You’ve given me no other option. Besides, aren’t you curious? Since you’re so- good, and abstinent. Right? That’s what you told me, so how about I show you what it looks like?’

Miguel was forced once more to look away. The sound of you moaning, the sound of you pathetically whimpering, and worst of all the wet slap of Mig’s hand against your pussy as he pulsed his fingers in and out, it was stirring up something potent in him.

Anger and arousal flooded his mind. He was fighting to not throb. He couldn’t allow it, he couldn’t. He’d never forgive himself if he got enjoyment from this.

But, fuck you sounded so wet. You’d probably swallow him whole, begging and whining the whole time. Were you a little brat when fucked, complaining about it being too big, or did you beg for more? No. You probably took it all, your eyes covered in those pretty little tears as you were fucked raw.

He violently shook his head as if that would clear his thoughts, but your body cruelly decided to cum right as he was reaching the peak of his tether.

‘F-FUCK—’

Your back arched as that sweet release flooded over you. All you could see was Mig’s smug, fang-filled grin as he felt your insides clench, his enormous spider legs pattering back and forth to indicate his own excitement.

‘There you go. Well done, mi amor, you feel so pretty when you cum.’

Your body went limp as your orgasm sapped all your energy away, but Mig wasn’t done. He shifted himself down between your spread thighs and began licking up your slick with his flat, wet tongue, that warm muscle flicking deliciously right on your overstimulated clit.

You screamed, unabashedly, in a way that drove Miguel mad.

With a wet pant Mig pulled back just to slather you with praise. ‘Estas mojadita, mm- Quiero explorar tus sabores, arañita.’

You knew he was speaking deliberately to provoke Miguel, but you didn’t care. You enjoyed it even more that way.

He settled down to gently suck on your clit, his red eyes fixed on Miguel’s rigid form in the corner. The man was trying his hardest to stay sober but his eyes kept darting, and every time they did Mig widened his lips and ran his full tongue across your folds, wilfully dribbling hot spit and venom down your sensitive lips.

Miguel quickly looked away, but he just kept looking back.

You kept wincing from the overstimulation, your wet lips parting and then pursing hard to avoid screaming again. You must be so god damn sensitive, he thought. Such a fucking brat. Crying over a tongue like that.

He felt his cock throb and struggled to adjust his suit. He wondered what you tasted like. He’d never got to taste one before. It probably tasted amazing.

‘Mm… so soft…’ Mig murmured, his voice muffled by your pussy as he continued his rabid smothering of your cunt with his tongue. He wasn’t skilled so much as desperately passionate, and god knows it was enough.

‘Wish—I could eat you right up—all of you, all of you, mm—’

His eyes were dangerously red, but you were too close to cumming to care. His claws dug into your hips as he pulled you into his mouth, his lips soft as they ravenously made out with your clit.

You came quickly the second time.

‘FUCK—’

As you shuddered in his grip his entire body shivered, a low rustle emanating from his abdomen as it visibly shook.

‘Ahh.. ah, good arañita, that’s it’ he breathed dreamily. He was still licking, still lapping up everything he could, to the point that his spit was sliding and dripping down your thighs and rear and back.

Once you collapsed with exhaustion for the second time, Mig began to move in. He couldn’t wait a second longer. His cock was painfully erect, having sprung from the slit on his abdomen the moment he tied you down, and it was aching for you.

‘Here. Help get me wet’ he said softly.

You looked up to find Mig bent over your bound head, his thick shaft lightly pulsing about an inch from your lips. You could see each black vein pulsing, the tip already smeared in pearly cum. In a trance you licked it.

‘M-mm—that’s it, that’s it.’

It was adorable the way he shivered at just the lightest brush of your tongue. He let you take the tip into your mouth and gently suck on it a little. Fuck, you thought, his cum was sweet. Strangely sweet. The sensation of warm, heavy, throbbing skin on your tongue was mesmerising.

After a few wet licks Mig gently released your mouth with a wet pop. With everything now utterly saturated and sopping, he moved to fuck you instead.

‘Shh, that’s it’ he soothed. You stirred in your bindings as he mounted your strapped body.

‘I’ve got you. You can take it.’

With both hands on your ankles, Mig drew you body up and began to penetrate. Instinctively you squirmed.

‘A-Ah--!’

‘Shh, shh. You’re so tight, mi tesoro. Can you loosen up for me?’ Mig affectionately whispered. You tried your best to relax as he edged deeper but with an audience it was hard. His thick veined cock was pulsating hard, stuck with only about a fourth of it inside you.  

In truth, Mig was enjoying it. He would never hurt you, but, was his ego slightly peaked at how big he looked inside you? Absolutely. Spiders were judged on their size, after all, and that primal part of his brain loved feeling so large. He wanted Miguel to see you spread wide on his cock.

‘Shh, you can do it. You’ve done it so many times before, arañita.’

Another subtle jab, one that made Miguel sneer.

Mig gave himself plenty of time to fit. He’d pump a few times, gently stretching you out, and when it proved too tight he moved to licking you instead. He’d let his cock slide out and replaced it with his tongue, eagerly slathering every inch of your pussy with venom and spit. The venom helped ease the ache and the spit was lubricating enough, and after three or so tries he bottomed out.

You whimpered as he settled himself inside you. Yes, you’d taken him many times, but it always took you by surprise. You were stretched to the limit, your belly bulging, his thick shaft putting a heavy pressure on your muscles that you felt whenever you moved. When he throbbed it pulsed through your entire body.

He could see those pretty little tears on your lashes as you grappled with the pressure, the light pain in your core.

‘F-Fuck… ‘s so big, fuck—’ you whined.

‘You’re doing so good’ Mig praised. He vibrated his abdomen just a little to help ease the ache, as it allowed his shaft to gently vibrate against your insides. Your body shuddered at the unusual sensation. ‘Shh, you’re doing so, so good. That’s it. You’re taking it so well.’

Slowly, Mig started to move.

His whole body arched as he thrust into you, the power of each movement making your thighs and ass jiggle on impact. He loved feeling how soft you were, how squishy and comparatively small you were against him, how his claws sank into your bare skin. He started to pant.

‘Ah… ah, that’s it.’

In the corner Miguel was wincing. His eye kept twitching from the strain of not looking, and now the soft thwap of your mating was ringing in his ears. He couldn’t stand this. He couldn’t take his humiliation. He couldn’t take it.

‘Ah-- Maybe I’ll, rip that patch off, arañita’ Mig purred. He was pushing the limits in this pussy drunk state, pushing every button that Miguel possible had.

‘I think—you deserve a belly full of my babies, don’t you, sweetheart?’ he panted. ‘I want to see what you do with my seed. Let- let me fill you, please, pretty little spider. Let me get you pregnant.’

It was too much. Miguel snapped. He rose to his feet and stormed forward in a blind rage, his claws spread and ready to tear you both apart.

‘¡QUÉ CABRÓN ERES!—’

But then he faltered. Once actually face-to-face with the mirror image of himself he weakened, because Mig was, as you’d noted before, huge. He was bent over to fuck you but still had to look down at Miguel, his red eyes burning in the dim light. His fangs were bigger, his claws sharper, and his body heftier from carrying such weight.

Miguel froze. He’d always seen Mig cowering or backing down, too afraid of his own strength to show it, but he wasn’t afraid anymore. To his great shame, Mig saw the hesitation in his eyes. The spider’s lips curled into a soft smile.

Mig continued to move inside you, openly panting onto his counterpart’s face with each hard thrust.

‘Mm—mm—mmf—’

You jolted slightly with each pump as your belly bulged.

Beneath the two you were helpless, your body small and bound. You were inches away from Miguel’s thick thighs, his carefully contoured pelvis sitting right above your face. You saw his suit throb and desperately tried to look away.

‘You— Y-You—’ Miguel bared his teeth in a desperate attempt to regain control, but his eyes gave away his own perverted thoughts. He was losing. His breath was hot and his cheeks were the colour of burnt umber.

You let out another pitiful whine as Mig arched himself back, allowing just half of his shaft to pump into you so he was rubbing your g-spot. You immediately swooned, a slurry of mewls and moans dripping from your wet lips.

Miguel couldn’t help it. He looked down.

Right in front of Mig he looked down at you, bound and helpless beneath, brainlessly taking that monstrous cock right into your guts.

His lips parted, flashing just an inch of fang. His own lips were wet at this point.

‘F-Fuck’ he grunted.

He could see it pulsing in and out. He could see the glistening slick coating his abdominal fur, thick and sticky and hanging in strings. He could see the way your cunt stretched to swallow every inch of Mig’s shaft. How could you let out those soft, needy moans when you were impaled like that?

‘Fffuuuccck’ he repeated in a low whine.

‘Mine.’

Mig hissed that word with dangerous intent, right in Miguel’s face. He continued to pant on him as he pumped, and Miguel continued to watch you get fucked. His hand was shaking at this point.

‘Sweet arañita, who do you belong to?’ Mig panted.

You felt his cock slipping right up against your velvety little cunt and abruptly clenched, involuntarily squirting slick all over his soft fur. It clung to his fur in pearly strings, and he gave an approving grunt as he felt it.  

‘Arañita, mi amor, your body is too kind, but I need your words’ he whispered. He was unnervingly calm as he rocked inside you.

‘I-I’m yours’ you dumbly panted. You were rewarded with another toe-curling insertion, that perfectly timed grind which pushed his fat girth into your spot. A flood of aching pleasure forced you to squirt again.

‘MMF- Mmm, Mig!’

‘That’s it, good arañita. You’re all mine’ Mig praised a second time.

Miguel couldn’t stop watching. It was maddening.

Instinctively his hand began to creep downward, his fingers shaking as they drifted to your swollen clit. He wanted to feel how wet it was, how warm, but the moment he drifted over your lips he was forced back by Mig.

The larger spider hissed violently, his pale green venom pooling and dribbling from his mouth. A little bit hit Miguel’s cheek as he fell onto his backside.

‘Mine’ he repeated. ‘I’ll let you look, but you don’t touch.’

The embarrassment was unbearable. Miguel scowled, torn between a desire to leave and a desire to fight. Those urges he’d desperately tried to avoid were ruining his brain.

Seeing Miguel’s obvious distress, Mig decided to make it so much worse. He wasn’t done humiliating his other half, not yet.

‘Unless, they want you to’ he panted. Mig pulled back and gently tilted your body so you’d catch Miguel’s eye, all while maintaining his wet probing of your cunt.

‘Do you want him, arañita? Or do you want me?’

At this point you’d been fucked dumb, and you were barely coherent. You were drooling onto the silk, your thighs saturated in slick and sweat, your legs trembling from overstimulation as he continued to fill you like a toy.

‘You’ you whined with zero hesitation, ‘you, I want—you, please, Mig, more—’

You didn’t see the overt disappointment in Miguel’s face, the bruising of his ego. You didn’t see the jealousy in his face as Mig groaned.

‘You sure?’ Mig purred. His gratification was fuelling his over-confidence, as was the sweet release of feeling wanted after years of neglect. ‘You wouldn’t want some extra?’

‘Mm—want—you, p-please—f-fuck its so good, so—big— you’re amazing, Mig.’ Your words were slurring each time he pumped his cock, but he heard you loud and clear.

‘Even though I’m a- filthy, half-way spider?’ he coaxed. ‘Even though I’m- a monster?’

‘Yes- f-fuck, you’re my spider’ you whined.

His whining got louder, his moans turning to pathetic whimpers. He seemed more aroused by that than anything else.

‘Ah- you want me to mate with you?’ he pleaded.

‘Yes, yes—please.’

‘You want my babies, arañita? You want me to impregnate that pretty little body? Get you nice and full?’

‘Yes, yes, fuck—’

Those soft words tipped you over the edge as you orgasmed for the third time, your desperate moans echoed out into the wider forest. Mig savoured them with a look of pure ecstasy on his face. ‘F-fuck, you’re- so tight—good arañita, so good, well done’ he breathlessly praised.

Miguel wanted nothing more than to break his counterparts chiselled face. He could feel his claws extending, his heart pounding. He was itching for a fight. But, if he fought him, he’d have to stop watching. Those soft sounds were addictive as they floated through his mind, lulling him like a siren call.

Miguel took another look at your glassy eyes and wet lips, your body shimmering with sweat as you moaned. He felt himself throb. It was, in a way, easing his rut, by vicariously experiencing this primal breeding.

It was mortifying, but he stayed. He stayed back and watched as Mig continued to mate you.  

‘Mm- fuck they’re so tight’ Mig moaned, now directly addressing Miguel. ‘So- soft, so- tight—so small. Can’t, wait to fill them—’

‘You’re disgusting’ Miguel spat.

Mig didn’t even seem to hear. His eyes were half closed, his lips parted as he felt your sweet cunt squeeze the life out of him.

‘Mm—mm—mi arañita—mine’ he repeated, over and over with each thrust. Miguel buried his face in his knees.

The clap of his fluffy abdomen on your bare ass filled the nest as he started to get rougher. He looked high, his eyes almost pink in the dim light. Every part of him was shaking.

‘Ah—I’m inside them—I’m inside them—’

 You squeaked as Mig started to push your ankles back, curling your spine so he could get deeper. He’d involuntarily covered the floor in webbing from his sheer excitement. He was like a man in rapturous prayer.

‘I’m inside them-- they’re mine—’

Each wet thrust was now splashing slick as Mig began to verbally pant. He was spanking your body with each insertion, releasing the most obscenely lewd noises.

‘Okay, I’m close- I’m close, fuck—stay still for me arañita, that’s it—’

With a guttural groan Mig aggressively ejaculated inside you, his abdomen jerking and grinding to get each spurt as deep into your cunt as possible. You welcomed the thick warmth as it soothed your stretched out muscles.

Miguel had no choice. His pride wouldn’t let him leave, so he watched Mig cum inside you.

He fixated on your face as it happened, his sharp eyes watching the drool pooling from your open lips as your eyes rolled. He sneered, trying to disguise his jealousy with disgust. He could have done that easily, he told himself, he could have filled you just as well.

‘Ah…. Fuck, are you okay arañita?’

As Mig gently rocked to a halt he bent to check your face, tenderly nestling your cheek. You could only moan in response.

‘I’m- so, good—so, so good…’

Mig let out a soft sigh of relief. Somehow, the tenderness of his aftercare seemed to disgust Miguel more than anything else he’d seen. He was scowling openly as Mig gently slid himself out and admired his work.

‘Pretty little spider… Do you want to see?’

Miguel was taken aback as Mig addressed him directly. The larger man had his hand on your suspended hips, his eyes glowering in the candlelight.

The two narrowed their eyes almost in unison. Miguel knew he should leave, but he was too far gone at this point to stop. It was over. He was a beaten dog of a man, so why not indulge once more? He silently walked across the room to admire your quivering body.

‘Is that okay, arañita?’ Mig whispered to you. You nodded, and with a grunt Mig lifted your hips for Miguel to see.

You were utterly soiled at this point. Mig put his huge hand on your rear and tilted you gently, showing off the thick white seed oozing down your thighs. He made a point to push some back inside you with his finger, only for even more to squish out. You were stuffed.

Miguel shamefully relished the sight. It was strangely soothing, like he was tricking his brain into thinking he’d finished himself and could therefore ease the rut he was in.

‘This is mine’ Mig purred, his claw squeezing your right cheek until it left a red imprint. ‘This beautiful little creature, is mine. Understood?’

As Mig quietly addressed Miguel again he made a point of sealing your entrance shut with his web, excreting a thick and sticky plug right over your cunt. You oomphed as he did.

‘Yes’ Miguel hissed through gritted teeth.

‘And you won’t stop me enjoying them’ Mig added coldly. ‘I… I, deserve this. I’m not a threat. I’m not like, you.’

Mig felt you proudly shuffle your hips into his palm.

‘I’m not a threat’ he repeated. ‘And you can hound us all you want. I’m done with you now. I have… I have them.’

As you rolled and moaned on the floor Miguel felt his nose involuntarily wrinkling. He was still a mess of anger, resentment, and arousal, all of which were fighting each other in a gut-churning mess. All he knew is, he couldn’t stay here another minute.

‘You’re both animals. You deserve each other’ he grunted.

Miguel stormed towards the nest’s entrance as Mig began to cut you free. ‘I’ll finish my watch outside’ he called over his shoulder, and when Mig’s only response was to chuckle he snarled.

Miguel pushed open the door and jumped to the ground, his feet thumping as he hit the cold forest floor.

As he moved into position to watch he could hear you giggling above him in the nest. He couldn’t make out what you were saying but you sounded happy. Mig sounded happy too, with his soft words and his gleeful chuckles.

Miguel breathed out, hard, his breath turning to vapor in the air. The forest was a sea of black and white, with no illumination spare the pale, draining light of the moon.

He stood, rigid, as he listened to you and Mig laughing upstairs.

And then he palmed his crotch. He rubbed himself hard, his calloused fingers feeling each inch of his own fat girth.

His breath came a little faster. His blood was pumping in the cold air, his body steaming. With a desperately muffled moan he phased his suit away at the groin and began to stroke his cock.

‘Fuck…. Fuck, fuck—’

He was dripping pre-cum in mere seconds as he strained in his own fist. In his mind, he indulged. It made him sick to his stomach but he indulged regardless. He thought about your pleading, your doe eyes as you blinked away those overstimulated tears. The sounds of pleasure. The sounds of being wanted.

It was easy to blank out Mig’s lower body. It was easy to see that as him, to put himself there like a mirror, and to pretend he was receiving your praise, that he was inside you. It was him, after all. His face, his eyes.

No one-night stands. No desperate, animal fucking to placate his brain. He could pretend for one moment he was experiencing something real. Those soft words, that need for more. I’m yours, you’d said. He replayed it in his mind.

So wet. So tight. Squirming on his cock, begging for more. Begging for him. Pulsing, filling, breeding. Being so wanted that you’d let him get you pregnant.

Oh god. Being wanted.

He vicariously put himself in his counterpart’s place, and with his free hand over his mouth he orgasmed onto the ground below. It was hard enough to make his body shudder and his knees weak. He coated the grass in his seed, the strings glistening slightly in the pale moonlight, before slowly phasing his suit back on.

The post-orgasm clarity hit him like a bus. Now satiated all he had was rage. Rage at himself that he couldn’t accept, and so just as he’d vicariously lived through his variant, he shifted all the blame to Mig.

He was going to ruin his counterpart’s life, whether it killed him or not.

But, first, he’d live through him. Link to next part

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel x reader #drider #miguel o'hara x you #smut #arachnophilia #smut with plot #miguel o'hara smut #drider miguel o'hara #monster human relationship #monster fucker #miguel o'hara au

[khaleesiofalicante]

Damn I feel like it's been forever for some reason lmao. Last week's hell is finally over and I get to relax this week! I'm going out with some friends on Friday and I've also cleared my phone and organized my notes!!! It feels so good😭 Now I have some thoughts about last chapter BECAUSE WOW

First of all fuck Mallory, I hate her and I will never get tired of saying this and I am now divided between wanting to read the next chapter so bad and dreading it with my whole being 🙂

My heart broke into a million pieces with the first part!!! Rafael's fear for Max is shown so damn well and Max's thoughts are messy and all over the place and the way you can see him moving in and out of reality is overwhelming!!

I kinda guessed the "why isn't he smiling?" part but fuck if it ripped my heart 😭😭

"Tears of grief" Max loving him so much he literally recognizes his tears and knows these ones too.... And saying he looks as if he is grieving something that was his everything, not knowing David was grieving him. Grieving them. The life they had built. Gone.

"I wanna see daddy" WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS SCREAMING INTERNALLY ON MY FLOOR!! When we first saw on the first chapters I was so confused and now that the dots connected I am in pain 😭. And you wrote that scene so beautifully, their pain and horror and how you see Max slowly losing himself because it's just too much. The pain is too much. Losing David, Lance's pain, his job, his home...

And the scene with Magnus!!! GOING TO MY FAVE COLLECTION 🥺. Also him giving the band to AJ later, because Magnus said he could give it to someone else when it hurt just a little bit less HOLY SHIT😭😭

I can go on a three hour analysis so Imma stop jdhdjdjkd. BUT THE PRESENT TOO JFC

Max's growth. That ends me everytime. Seeing how much he has changed and how he survived through all of this. Thinking of the was Alec told him how proud he is of Max because he made it. Not the way he planned. But he did it. He got so far, and that took so much strength but he still survived. Same Alec, same🥹

But also the fucking parallel:

"He was careful now (...) Just in case. Just in case he'll get his heart broken all over again."

///

Not without an explanation. Not without getting his heart broken into a million pieces one last time.

Then, just like everything else in life, things slowly got better. This whole fic is a prove of it and I can't even-

YES LANCE CALL HIS IDIOTIC SELF OUT!!! TELL HIM DAVID LOVES HIM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!!! I WILL NEVER GET TIRED IF HIS SASS BTW

You once said that tlnd was was about acceptance and healing, but IALS is about forgiveness, about learning to forgive the people we love, but mostly about learning to forgive ourselves (I have the receipts don't @ me) and this scene portrayed that so well. Even though Max knows it wasn't his fault he still blames himself. Because knowing is not the same as accepting it. As Max said, shit is hard to internalize.

THIS GOES TO MY TOP 10😭😭 LANCE AND MAX TALKING TO EACH OTHER IS EVERYTHING I KNEW I NEEDED FROM THE VERY START I AM SO EMOTIONAL!!! Also Lance and Max's detective skills together??? ✨ Iconic✨

Tell me how to love you as you want to be loved and I'll do it to give you the comfort and safety you deserve is something I'll never get tired of😭😭 istg I could go on a whole speech about this part because it's so true. Sometimes parents don't love us the way we want to be loved, but that doesn't mean there's no love there. It's just different of what we expect. And sometimes people go their whole lives not knowing of that love and that's just sad.

That is one unproblematic child,” Max noted. “Really doesn’t fit into this clusterfuck of a family.”

“I’m waiting for him to set Hollywood on fire,” Lance informed. “Don’t lose hope yet.”

HOLY SHIT I JUST REALIZED I'M THE ARTHUR OF MY FAMILY. WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS KNOWLEDGE???

I have so many feeling about that apartment and Harry and them but I will not unpack them bc this shit is already long enough 🙂

Their conversation. The way they've both changed so much. Talking about how they wished they were there for Lance and for each other. I was in TEARS

Everything of the last scene was *screams internally* David fucking pushing Max to the wall, stronger than hate. "He's scared of something". Fucking Mon ange, *what did Mallory do to you?"

I just want you to know I will combust into confetti or tears in the next chapter. Probably both...

Anyway this turned long and I better go. Take care and drink lots of tea!!!!

💙.💙.💙.

This made me so 😇😇😇😇 and gave me some motivation to write the next chapter 😭😭😭😭 Thank you 💚💚💚

This is Lance sleeping in Arthur’s room 🥰🥰🥰

#he cuddles all the plushies we have proof 🥰🥰🥰 #IALS

[littlerosetrove]

I am so curious what will be the catalyst or final sign for Buck (in 5x18 it seems) that makes him realize his relationship with Taylor Kelly is not working and he needs to break up with her.

I’m not trying to come at this from an angry anti BT standpoint, though I very much am anti about them. I’m looking at this from a Buck perspective. Lemme try to explain.

I think it’s safe to say that pretty much in all of season 5 Buck has been a bit of a mystery to us. We get small glimpses of where his head is at, but it’s hard to pinpoint a lot of concrete things. Stick with me here.

5B is a (wonderful) blur, but I think it was in 5x13 where Buck tells/admits to Maddie that he recognizes that he clings (to people). What is unclear is if Buck even recognizes that he’s clinging to TK and their relationship. It feels like he recognizes it to a degree, but he’s hard core ignoring this fact.

Part of why he’s clinging to TK and their dead relationship is because Buck has massive abandonment issues. Thus far he’s the one that’s always been left behind, and he doesn’t want that. As of 5x15, I don’t think Buck understands/recognizes that he can leave the relationship, that he has that power. Going off this point:

Buck doesn’t like to or ever want to hurt someone. While I do think Buck cares for Taylor, he very clearly does not love her nor will he ever love her. So even though Buck doesn’t want to hurt Taylor, he already has by:

Cheating on her by kissing Lucy (and TK doesn’t know yet it’s specifically Lucy).

Settling with this soulless relationship that I do think on some level Buck recognizes is doomed, but is still ignoring this fact. And so prolonging this doomed relationship that Buck has kinda always had one foot out the door, is just continuing to hurt TK and himself.

Tied to number 2, I think Buck doesn’t want to get hurt by being left, but also doesn’t want to do the hurting by being the one to break up with Taylor. Although, again, I’m not sure yet how aware Buck is that he can break up with Taylor, and he doesn’t have to just wait around to be broken up with.

A few other aspects of why I think Buck has stuck with this (dead) relationship are:

Taylor has “stayed” so I think Buck probably has this notion that he therefore owes it to Taylor to make this relationship work. (we the audience know this isn’t true. he doesn’t owe Taylor anything like that.)

I believe Buck is also very misguided in that since Taylor loves Buck, he therefore owes it to her to stick it out. (once again, he owes her nothing.)

Well, Buck misunderstood the assignment of “you don’t find it, you make it.” Buck doesn’t have a great (healthy) romantic history to go off, so he really seems to think that his relationship with Taylor is going to be a constant struggle. That somehow this is normal. That Buck, given enough time, can learn to love Taylor, even though…bro. Buck has been with Taylor for nearly (jfc) a year at this point, and he still doesn’t love her, though he’s desperately trying to convince others and himself that he is. I for one can’t wait for Buck to realize that relationships should not be a constant struggle nor devoid of joy and love.

Uhhhh so yeah. As of 5x15 Buck is like, going through the motions of being in a relationship, but with one foot still out the door. He’s not yet willing to see and/or admit that he needs to end things with Taylor, for both their sakes ‘cause my guy. It’s a toxic relationship for so many reasons and needs to end.

And yeah, at this point I just don’t know what it is that’s gonna make Buck really take a look at his relationship with Taylor and realize, “Oh. I need to end this.” I think we may get some clues in 5x17, but I’m not sure about 5x16 since that episode seems packed with other stuff.

(i’m still holding out faith that the break up will be messy and worth it. like, the misery has been dragged out for an entire season, so the writers need to make it worth it. Buck needs to break up with Taylor. i think it will be unsatisfactory if, like, TK gets a job elsewhere and just her moving has them break up, or the breakup in general is a mutual thing.)

#911 speculation #911 spoilers #9-1-1 #Evan Buckley #anti BuckTaylor #I have no doubt that they're breaking up #all of season 5 has been clear about this #I just don't know /how/ it's going to come about #love yourself Buck 2k22

[shiryori]

good morning gamers have my john sprite edit

i hc him as korean ftm gay and autistic what about it

#homestuck #john egbert #pesterquest sprite edit #hs #pesterquest #wait some parts are so messy jfc

[sleepysnk]

alright y'all i finally got some headcanons after showering. I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THESE. i kinda liked the idea, so lmk if you guys would like a part 2! :)

Pool Day Headcanons

Characters: Eren, Jean, Reiner, and Colt

Warnings: slight suggestive?

Eren Jaeger:

- ok so you already know it was Eren's idea to go swimming at the waterpark. there was a giant heatwave coming, so he figured it'd be a perfect date for the two of you.

- LET ME JUST SAY.. EREN IS A COMPLETE ASSHOLE AT THE WATERPARK.

- not in a bad way ofc, but he'd be a dick to the kids, or he'd do some petty stuff 😭. he'd run when a lifeguard would yell at him, or push a little kid to get to the water slide. you'd just stand there embarrassed while a parent cusses him out.

- Eren would force you to go into the water, even if you protested that you didn't want to. he'd drag you off the chair and force you in.

- "babe! come on! it's a waterpark, don't just sit there all day,"

- Eren would splash water in your face or force you on the tube slides with him, he'd purposely make it go fast so you'll fly off at the end.

- he would probably push you off the diving board because you took too long, he's just impatient like that.

- Eren would get tan as fuck. he'd be so golden after you both leave, you never have to worry about sunscreen with him.

- not gonna lie, Eren would love seeing you in your swimsuit. he'd kind of be more protective of you, especially if other guys stared at you. he'd probably put his arm around you.

- he'd put you on his back to go to the deep end, and probably scare you acting like he was going to throw you off.

- lifeguards would yell at him for almost making you drown.

- probably got kicked out once because of it too.

- his hair would be so messy, since we're talking about manbun Eren, he'd have to re-tie his bun a few times. sometimes you'd pull on it, and he'd have to re-do it.

- Eren would probably get a hard-on seeing the water droplets going down your body, and he'd press it against you while be in the water leaving you with a huge blush.

- this would be a really fun date, definitely a 10/10.

Jean Kirstein:

- this would probably be Jean's idea to go to a waterpark. he's really fun in that way, and plus he gets to see you in a swimsuit, so it would be perfect ;).

- Jean would absolutely LOVE the water slides, he'd be the type to wait in long ass lines just to ride it, even if you complained.

- "be patient babe! it's gonna be so worth it in the end,"

- like Eren, Jean would kind of be an ass to people at the waterpark. he'd steal a tube a little kid was going for, and run away laughing his ass off while the kid cried. he'd be a dick like that i'm sorry 😭. the parent would probably roll their eyes at you both as you word a "sorry" to them.

- Jean would probably sneak food into the waterpark, even if it isn't allowed, he still somehow finds a way for snacks to be snuck in. HE'S SNEAKY LIKE THAT.

- his dumbass would get water up his nose every 30 seconds and have a huge coughing fit.

- accidentally swallowed pool water 😀.

- he'd be the type to slowly inch you into the water, and hold your waist 🥰.

- Jean would take you on his back around the deep end making sure you're safe and secure, so he doesn't drop you, sometimes he'll hold you in the front with your legs around his waist.

- Jean would get tan, you wouldn't have to worry about him getting burned. plus his tan would be hot as fuck.

- knowing this guy, seeing you in your swimsuit made his jaw drop to the floor. he loved the way your body glowed in it, and it made a huge blush go across his face. he couldn't keep his eyes off of you 🥺.

- SO PROTECTIVE. if a guy even looked in your direction, Jean would instantly put his arm around you or even kiss you in front of the dude staring at you. he didn't want any guy thinking they had a chance with you, it's honestly super adorable.

- you'd come back to your spot during the break and feel his print when you sat down on his lap 😳😳. boy was it a surprise for you.

- his hair would be all messy and water would be going down his face, ngl it's really hot to you 😏.

- pls doing this with Jean would be so worth it and fun.

Reiner Braun

- not gonna lie, this was probably a date you two both came up with while trying to figure out your weekend plans. it was going to be a real hot one, so you figured why not? a waterpark sounded fun.

- Reiner would probably not be a huge fan of water slides, but you forced him to go on one and he wanted to do them all.

- "baby we're going on that one next, i don't care about the line,"

- he wouldn't be an ass to anyone at the waterpark, but he would definitely roll his eyes at the annoying teenagers that won't shut up. you both were waiting in a line and they kept complaining, and Reiner literally wanted to backhand them.

- Reiner in swim trunks 🥵 oh boy.. my imagination is running wild. it is definitely the sight to see.

- he uses his charm to get free snacks 😭😭, girls cannot resist this man and his body.

- Reiner would probably tan with you for a bit, he'd for sure wait by your side holding your hand or waiting on his phone for you to finish. my man has patience when it comes to you.

- he'd probably jump in with you and laugh as people would be annoyed with you two splashing them with water.

- Reiner would probably try to do some weird trick in the water and bump his head on the bottom of the pool floor. he'd come back rubbing his head and shaking his head.

- like a dumbass, he'd get water up his damn nose and cough for like 30 seconds.

- Reiner would slightly tan but also burn? if that makes sense.

- he is 100x more protective of you at waterparks, many guys would stare at you and my man would put his hand straight onto your ass or your waist.

- he loves your swimsuit, he thinks you look absolutely stunning and just breath taking.

- Reiner would lowkey hold you in the pool with your legs around his waist leaving small neck kisses. this man has had a boner all day, he probably would take you home after and see your fresh tan lines 😳.

- THIS WOULD BE SO FUN. please take this man to a waterpark gn.

Colt Grice:

- this was definitely a date idea that you had since Colt doesn't really think about waterparks that much lmao. plus with the heatwave coming, you figured why not?

- COLT IS LIKE A LITTLE KID WHEN IT COMES TO THESE THINGS.

- he got forced to take Falco.

- Colt would do absolutely everything the place has to offer, whether it be going down the water slides or going onto the diving board. HE WANTS TO DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. let this man have fun, ok?

- he's definitely respectful and wouldn't do anything that would get him kicked out, this soft baby is just too sweet for that.

- Colt would probably enjoy the lazy river with you, he loves the relaxation, and just being by your side would make him feel so calm and soft. he would hold your hand as you floated down on it, IT WOULD BE SO SO CUTE. you can't change my mind.

- he'd splash water in your face and get pool water in his mouth, he'd be coughing so much.

- ok this is something i thought of just now, but he would so buy goggles to go underwater and kiss you. he loves to see your smiling face under the water, IT JUST MAKES HIS HEART SWELL AND FEEL SO SOFT 🥺.

- he'd take you on his back and to the deep end while you place your head on his shoulder, he'd probably joke around and act like he's gonna drop you. it'd be kinda funny.

- "you want me to drop you? okay!"

- Colt would be so protective of you, knowing many prying eyes would be on you, it made him a little insecure:((, but he did his best to show those people you were his. you also assured him that nobody else would ever replace him, you probably kissed him a few times in front of those guys.

- Colt would burn jfc you needed so much sunscreen.

- he'd absolutely love your swimsuit, he thinks you look like something from heaven 🥺. he would call you every name in the book, he's just a sweetheart like that.

- he'd peck your lips a few times and say sweet words to you <3333.

- PLS THESE ARE SO CUTE IM SOBBING.

#anime #attack on titan #aot x reader #aot x y/n #aot headcanons #snk x y/n #snk x reader #snk headcanons #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #eren jaeger #jean kirschstein #jean x reader #reiner braun #reiner x reader #colt grice #colt x reader #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #attack on titan headcanons #anime headcanons

[therealtsk]

tsk i’m DYING to hear your play-by-play on which worm characters have dumb fanon interpretations

UH OH YOU JUST OPENED THE FLOODGATES so the short answer is pretty much every major character but I am a high-effort bitch so let's do this: Taylor Hebert: jfc, I could probably hit a word count limit talking about Taylor alone. First you have the dumb as shit TINO (Taylor In Name Only) phenomenon where people just straight up SI as Taylor but pretend it's her and she's basically a different person wearing Taylor's skin like an ill-fitting suit. Then there's the Memetic Escalator Taylor interpretation where Taylor's Warlord era characterization is flanderized so hard that she turns into her world's version of Doomguy where her response to literally everything is ultra violence, mutilation and torture and she can totally beat up anyone you guys hahah coin sock goes brrrrr you go brutalize those totally deserving victims queen. And then there's shy, stuttering, soft spoken "useless lesbian" Taylor which is not as common but still, fuckin straight men and the way they infantize gay women. Taylor is perhaps the most consistently inconsistent characterization I've seen in fandom, it's fucking wild Lisa Wilbourn: Has two fanon settings. Taylor's best friend who exists solely to give exposition and get the "Stop Coil" subplot rolling (occasional gay subtext will be added in a way that feels fetishy) Or, the evil bitchy blonde who is first target of the SI. I constantly wonder if the people who write the frankly masturbatory SI's are aware that we can tell they're still bitter about girls not dating them in highschool. Brian: basically does not exist in fic aside from the occasional joke cause racism and also because of how popular wlw ships are in Worm fandom. you deserve better dude Alec: has a few token appearances in wormfic fandom that usually have him as the comic relief alongside Aisha, which might actually be for the best considering he's a rapist and the Worm fandom's uhhhh tendencies. Moving on- Aisha: prankster girl that alt!Taylor will adopt as a younger sibling. hopefully is not part of the totally-not-a-harem considering she's even younger then the rest of these teens Bitch: Another girl to fall into alt!Taylor's definitely-not-a-harem, but with more butch tendencies. Basically has no personality in fanon outside of her dogs Parian: SHE DOESN'T HAVE A SHOP FFS also another member of Taylor's totally-not-a-harem Flechette: yeah it's a harem Sophia: holy shit you think Brian's bad? The racism in pretty much every fanon depiction of Sophia is off the charts. Hyper-violent, super edgy, "predator/prey" speech inbound, will get humilated/killed in some new, supposedly satisfying but actually just deeply uncomfortable way, probably throw in some E88 shit too just because Emma: again, do the writers know we can tell they're still malding over the fact that the pretty girls in highschool didn't date them? fanon emma is pretty much a cardboard cut out of whoever was mean to the author. something something bitches three Madison: in fanon has a C53 fetish, occasionally is also Browbeat. don't ask why Victoria: gets hit with the blonde stereotypes even harder then Lisa, "Collateral Damage Barbie" is one of the phrases that activates my flight or fight responses. she basically is an entirely different character in fanon. bubbly dumb blonde girl with a massive temper and well other sexist bullshiit Amy: I hate even touching this character with a ten foot pole but basically is hit with the "soft useless lesbian" trope hard enough to make her into a completely separate person from her canon self. whether or not this is a good thing is still up for debate Carol: in fanon, an evil bitch who exists solely to bully Amy Mark: who? The rest of New Wave: cannon fodder for Leviathan Danny Hebert: literally stale milk instead of a personality, will probably die before the fic is over but we won't care because the author did not care either Armsmaster: hahaha robotman go brrrr or is an arrogant self-aggrandizing shit, can't interact with people without Dragon helping him 24/7 Miss Militia: fanon bat'd into team mom,

idk where this came from considering her first instinct upon seeing children is to pull out a gun holy shit wait is she actually Taylor's true mom- Velocity: canon fodder for levi Battery & Assault: sitcom wife, sitcom husband! please ignore how fucked up this relationship is if you look at it for more than two seconds Dauntless: haha armsy is JEALOUS also cannon fodder for levi Triumph: who? The BB wards in general tend to be incredibly bland, the only ones who have fanon personalities of note are Clockblocker and Vista. The former being such a huge prankster that every other line is a joke- or him complaining about how BULLSHIT Alt!Taylor's powers are. Vista is an angry kiddo who says that Shadow Stalker doesn't count as being a girl on the team The E88: no personality for any of them except that Kaiser is noble and really isn't that bad and also Purity did nothing wrong totally she's just a hot mom trying to do her best, please ignore how she exclusively targets characters of color and literally calls white criminals more civilized than miniorities- the worm fandom has something of a nazi problem i hate it here The ABB: racism and honorable samurai lung even though that has no canon basis so again, racist stereotypes The Slaughterhouse 9: This one makes me just as sad as the Lisa shit because dear god this is such a good cast of villains that fanon completely flattens to bowling pins for the Alt!Taylor of the week to mow down, why does this fandom suck so much. Anyway Jack is just the Joker, Crawler is masochistic, etc i'm moving on now The PRT/Protectorate as a whole: They are an evil paramilitary organization that pressgangs kids into signing up to become child soldiers, and somehow at the same time, they are a bunch of idiots who listen to the PR department and have stupid things like RULES that prevent capes from COMMITTING VIOLENCE. Being called "the biggest gang of all" is common and some shit like "at least the criminals are honest" is a likely statement. Cauldron: whoo boy this one really boils my blood but fanon Cauldron are just a bunch of evil idiots who can't even tie their shoelaces. basically a bunch of dudebros are upset that women run the world and that two of them essentially have "I win" powers so they have to make them lose to their SI- er, Taylor in fics so they can assuage their masculinity, which totally isn't pathetic Scion: Is at once the end all be all of worm you can't write a wormfic without scion or else it's TOTALLY MEANINGLESS because what is the point of a story if all the characters are going to DIE in a few years anyway, and at the same time is incredibly easy to defeat- this ties into how Cauldron is stupid. Scion Truthers pls shut up and go read something else okay I think that's everyone I would apologize but the only thing I'm sorry for is how messy this is

#Worm #Parahumans #Worm Fanfic #Worm Fanon #if you can't tell #I'm a little annoyed with the worm fanfic fandom #dear SI writers stop being such creeps #and nazis pls fucking leave we don't want you here go away

[lalosalamcnca]

The Originals 3x01-3x08 Review

So I watched TVD during quarantine last year, and even though I swore to never watch another Julie Plec show again, I’m watching TO! I thought I’d share my thoughts, let people read my clueless predictions or my feelings about Klamille. You can find my reviews of S1 and S2 on my blog.

3x01

FLASHBACK: Loving Kol’s sass

FLASHBACK: Klaus’s face when Elijah reminds everyone of their vow…my heart

Looks like Freya’s officially part of the family!! I’m happy for her

Love that Elijah spars with Marcel 

But I do feel bad that Hayley can’t see Hope

I love that Klaus’s therapy sessions with Cami aren’t helping AT ALL

Seems like Klamille is developing…OH MY GOD, HE’S SHOWING HER HIS ART, I’M FANGIRLING SO HARD RN

YAY VINCENT AND CAMI ARE STILL HANGING OUT 

Oh god…at least warn Cami that she’s about to see a gory dead body 

PLEASE DO NOT FIGHT IN FRONT OF THE BABY

FLASHBACK: Lucien can clearly think quickly on his feet 

OH SHIT, LUCIEN’S BACK IN NOLA…LOOKS LIKE THINGS ARE ALREADY GETTING MESSY

Uh oh…looks like someone’s fighting back against Davina

So is Klaus gonna feed on that art critic later

DID THOSE MEN JUST SAY THAT HALF A DOZEN WOLVES DIED?! Those poor people

FLASHBACK: So Lucien has a backstory…and some good motivations 

Lucien watching Klaus and Cami talking…probably not a good sign 

Freya’s out partying and honestly I love that for her, she should have some fun

WHEN WERE VAMPIRES SO FOCUSED ON THEIR OWN SIRELINE?! 

HOLY SHIT ELIJAH JUST THREW A FKN GUN INTO SOMEONE’S CHEST 

I honestly have no idea who’s committing these murders…maybe it’s a witch?? 

Lucien’s speaking facts ngl…Klaus is supposed to be this big bad but he’s sulking about family drama

AWWW VINCENT AND MARCEL ARE SPARRING

Cami’s spitting facts, she gets to dictate her time…girl, there’s no need to apologize!

OH MY GOD KLAUS PAINTED HER OHHH

EW, WHY IS LUCIEN MAKING HIMSELF LOOK LIKE THE JOKER

3x02

Elijah in a suit, carrying around Hope…god that’s hot

Davina wants Hayley to kill someone?! That’s it?! I expected some more conditions ngl 

Searching for Hayley instead of tending to your dead, Jackson?! Not alpha material

CAMI’S SO SMART FOR RESEARCHING LUCIEN, THAT’S MY GIRL

Elijah and Lucien meeting!! 

OMG THERE’S A SIRELINE BOUNDARY SPELL, THAT’S KINDA WILD

LOOKS LIKE LUCIEN GOT A WEREWOLF BITE

Why do I have a bad feeling about that detective

Idk Klaus…I think a TINY part of you is worried for Hayley…maybe it’s just my Klayley feels coming out

CAN SOMEONE COMPEL THIS NOSY DETECTIVE PLS

WHY DIDN’T HAYLEY JUST VAMP AWAY FROM KARA’S BODY?! 

Ok, usually TVDU writers are good at building up conflict/villains, but this whole sireline war just came out of nowhere??

DAVINA…YOU KILLED A MOTHER…jfc, NOLA politics are so messy

Why did Freya and Jackson kinda have chemistry…I definitely don’t ship it but I felt their energy 

VERY INTERESTING, LUCIEN CURED HIS OWN WEREWOLF BITE!!

HOPE SAW KLAYLEY FIGHTING…THIS LITTLE FAMILY SCENE…I CAN’T DESCRIBE MY FEELINGS, THERE’S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT IT

Marcel’s right…Davina pulled a Klaus, no doubt about that 

Well, at least Davina actually shows remorse for her actions

I don’t understand, how did the pack get ripped away from their families when they were going to leave NOLA in the first place?? Is it just that Klaus attacked the wolves with Hayley specifically??

Idk about Haylijah anymore…I feel for Elijah but watching their scenes was just eh

Looks like Davina’s got another enemy 

Really, Hayley, you missed Jackson?! It was literally just a few hours, chill

Ah yes, the totally platonic act of watching your baby mama kiss her significant other…and cracking your glass from too much force 

Ew, what is this detective doing with Cami? 

LOOKS LIKE FREYA’S TAKING A LOOK AT THIS PROPHECY

Why is Aurora in a monastery?? 

Tristan’s heading to NOLA!! I’m sure nothing good will come from this

3x03

FLASHBACK: Yikes…I kinda feel bad for Lucien 

FLASHBACK: WAIT WAIT WAIT, KLAUS AND AURORA ARE HOOKING UP WHILE SHE’S IN PRAYER?! That’s kinda funny

FLASHBACK: I’m not loving the incest vibes between Aurora and Tristan…technically she’d be married off at like 12 

ELIJAH SAID I’LL FORGIVE YOU…SIKE, NOT GONNA HAPPEN LMAOO

The police has Lucien at the station?! What do they think they can do to that man?! 

NOLA’s a party city, Hayley…not exactly a place for families lol

Wow, I guess Marcel really didn’t want to hear that offer from Aya 

So I’m guessing that detective knows nothing about vampires 

LOOKS LIKE CAMI AND LUCIEN ARE ABOUT TO TALK 

Also, I need to acknowledge how pretty Leah Pipes looks in this episode

FLASHBACK: JUST COMPEL TRISTAN, KLAUS 

FLASHBACK: OH DAMN, TRISTAN FIGURED OUT THE MIKAELSONS ARE VAMPIRES, DUDE IS CLEARLY SMART AF 

FLASHBACK: well now I know why Lucien cuts his mouth 

LMAOO I LOVE THAT VINCENT AND CAMI DON’T CARE ABOUT LUCIEN’S SOB STORY

Marcel, just hear Aya’s offer?? It’s not a contract

Elijah and Klaus feeding on the seer, that’s kinda hot…just switch out Klaus for Stefan

HAYLEY, BEAT JACKSON’S ASS, HE’S A WEAKLING

OH WAIT…THINGS ARE GETTING KINDA HOT WITH JAYLEY 

Well, they’re about to have sex…ok then

FLASHBACK: WOW…I CAN’T BELIEVE LUCIEN DIED JUST LIKE THAT

LOL I love that Elijah already found Marcel and Aya 

TRISTAN IS OFFICIALLY IN NOLA…I’m probably gonna hate him

WHY THE COLD ATTITUDE TOWARDS MARCEL, ELIJAH 

Why can’t Klaus just compel the truth out of Lucien

Ok, so far the new characters are fine but this sireline war thing is not that impressive 

Klaus is literally just being a stay-at-home dad, chill out Tristan 

Bro, we’ve already done the Klaus needs to be stopped storyline! We get it, no one likes him

FLASHBACK: well, thank god Lucien popped back up right before being burned

Klaus, what do you have planned

Klaus looks so hurt at not being forgiven by Elijah, but he’s not taking the necessary steps to actually earn it?? Like send Hayley some flowers or a fruit-basket

OH…AURORA’S HEADING TO NOLA TOO 

3x04

Marcel going on a run…I approve

Wow, I didn’t realize that the Strix had their own merchandise

…did Aya explain what the Strix does?? I don’t remember hearing about this society

I’M ACTUALLY LAUGHING, HAYLEY SAYING SHE’S PART OF THE FAMILY TO ELIJAH…WHERE WAS THIS ATTITUDE BEFORE, HAYLEY 

Freya doing yoga while Klaus is bitching, I love it

Oh joy, Lucien lost the seer, Alexis 

Lucien’s talking to Freya now…they’re already sorta flirting, I dig it

Oh god, Phoebe Tonkin looks really pretty in that red dress 

I wonder if the Strix would ever try to recruit Stefan…I feel like they’d want the Ripper as part of their group

WHY IS ELIJAH TALKING SO OPENLY ABOUT WHY HE HATES THE STRIX…ALL OF THEM HAVE ENHANCED HEARING JFC

Klaus is already plotting, well I expected no less

OMG, MARCEL’S RING IS GONE

MARCEL LOOKS SO LOST, AWW BABY

Tristan is kinda slimy, but that’s probably the point

Marcel’s right, Elijah shouldn’t have to boss him around

There’s tension between Tristan and Hayley and I don’t like it

Did Alexis pass the prophecy to Freya, or just show it to her???

OH GOD, MARCEL HAS TO FIGHT MOHINDER

These vampires may be strong and forceful, but none of them have the guts to work in retail or with kids. Now that takes real strength 

HAYLEY DID HELP OUT MARCEL, I KNEW IT, YES GIRL

Wow, some society. Seems more like a cult if u ask me 

JUST HEAL MARCEL, KLAUS. STOP BEING A DRAMA QUEEN

Oh no, poor Alexis…she seemed kinda cool 

Elijah was clearly the alpha in that meeting with Tristan

Kind of a sweet Haylijah conversation

The Klaus and Freya relationship is kinda cute

Why does Elijah talking about Tristan to Hayley sound kinda…sexual 

AURORA’S IN NOLA…also the writers gotta stop giving me incest vibes with her and Tristan

3x05

FLASHBACK: CLAIRE HOLT’S BACK, HELLO QUEEN

FLASHBACK: Klaus and Aurora are ok…I don’t find them particularly compelling

I absolutely love the Vincent and Cami friendship

FLASHBACK: So how has Klaus been hiding his relationship with Aurora from Tristan?

KLAUS HAS OFFICIALLY REUNITED WITH AURORA, THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET HEAVY 

Wow, so scary that the Mikaelsons have screwed over each other in the past. Aurora, find a better way to cause trouble

FLASHBACK: I like that Klaus and Aurora can actually be honest with each other, it’s cute

I KNEW AS SOON AS AURORA SAID SHE WANTED TO PROTECT HER SIRE THAT IT WAS REBEKAH

HAHAHA TRISTAN THINKS AURORA WOULD COME TO HIM FIRST?! SIKE U LITTLE BITCH 

Not even surprised that Lucien knew Cami was tailing him 

These NOLA celebration names are so dumb, a holiday called “fête de cadeaux,” do the writers know how stupid that sounds to someone who knows French 

So, Klaus…are you falling for Aurora’s words 

He kissed her back, so it kinda seems like he did

FLASHBACK: Idk how to feel about Klaus being heartbroken by Aurora…I mean it’s sad, but not particularly moving

FLASHBACK: WOW, IS ELIJAH GETTING JEALOUS ABOUT KLAUS BEING CLOSER TO AURORA?!

FLASHBACK: SO ELIJAH COMPELLING AURORA WAS BASICALLY WARRANTED. It’s just Mikaelsons getting even 

So the “big secret” is out, and it’s underwhelming. Next time, pull Mikael back in and then I’ll be interested

LOOKS LIKE ELIJAH’S STARTING TO SNIFF OUT TRISTAN AND LUCIEN’S PLANS

I’m glad Hayley’s free of Klaus’s old curse

FUCK NO, CAMI’S UNDER ARREST?! KLAUS, GO BREAK OUT YOUR GIRL  

I’M SO FUCKING MADD, SOMEONE GO SAVE CAMI RIGHT NOW

I’m on Elijah’s side. Klaus is spouting ABSOLUTE bullshit, he’s not a victim here 

3x06

I wonder if Hope has just been chilling inside her crib while all this shit is going on

AWW I LOVE THAT FREYA PROJECTED TO HANG OUT WITH REBEKAH  

AND I’M HAPPY THAT REBEKAH’S STILL FINDING A WAY TO REVIVE KOL

OH SHIT, EVA SINCLAIR’S BODY IS OFFICIALLY DEAD 

What a fight between Klaus and Elijah…very vicious 

I love that Klaus and Elijah are just hanging out, bloodied and bruised in the dining room

THAT STUPID DETECTIVE REALLY THINKS HE CAN PROTECT CAMI?! LMAOO 

OH SHIT, LUCIEN JUST KIDNAPPED CAMI

THAT IS MESSED UP, FORCING AURORA, TRISTAN AND LUCIEN TO PLAY DECOYS

LOOKS LIKE FREYA REALIZED SOMETHING’S UP WITH REBEKAH

CAN I HAVE THE KLAMILLE CONTENT BACK PLEASE

OH HELL, NO ONE KNOWS CAMI’S GONE

I’m gonna miss Eva…Maisie did a great job as Rebekah

I like Lucien’s attitude (villain-wise, human decency is just not there lol)

COME ON REBEKAH, YOU CAN BEAT AYA, I BELIEVE IN U

YES FREYA, SAVE UR LITTLE SISTER

I’m SO BORED with Klaus and Aurora

NOOO…Rebekah won’t be able to save Kol…

STOP BEATING UP MY MAN MARCEL, ELIJAH

WHAT DOES TRISTAN WANT WITH DAVINAA

Oh no…Rebekah’s about to suffer 

Well now I feel kinda bad about that detective

Poor Cami has just been put through a lot this past episode

What is Aurora’s game here??? 

3x07

Klaus definitely doesn’t seem to be in the mood for sex

Nevermind, I spoke too soon

Is Jackson just sitting at home, babysitting Hope?? 

TRISTAN AND AURORA ARE FINALLY MEETING UP AGAIN 

What’s in the envelopes, Aurora

So Cami’s fate rests with Lucien…

Hayley did keep Hope safe but so did Rebekah??? Jackson, just shut up 

Wait a second…I think I like Lucien and Aurora 

Diabolical Elijah is so attractive…Klaus is getting more hot too

I appreciate that Marcel wants to help Davina but she’s a grown woman, she can make her own choices

KLAUS FOUND OUT CAMI’S BEEN KIDNAPPED, HE LOOKS PISSED AND I LOVE IT

This thanksgiving dinner is already getting tense

I still have NO idea why there’s a sireline war, the Salvatores didn’t even know who their Mikaelson sire were for 150 years. It’s not like vampires get an ID card that says which Mikaelson is their sire

Davina’s starting to sound A LOT like Klaus… 

OH MY GOD…VINCENT SET UP DAVINA…MY JAW LITERALLY DROPPED

OH GREAT, REBEKAH’S HANGING OUT WITH SHARKS AND CRABS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN. KLAUS, TEAR AURORA APART 

Aurora’s jealous of Cami and I like it 

OH YES, I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO KLAUS “TALKING” TO TRISTAN 

Yikes…Marcel agreed to having Davina lose her position as regent? I mean, she deserved some kind of consequences but not to be blindsided 

Out of the three “villains,” I like Lucien the best

OH YES, FREYA AND HAYLEY ARE TEAMING UP AGAINST AURORA

Ohh, the coordinates were in the envelopes

Yeah, Aurora, Klaus betrayed u for Rebekah. You thought that you could match the klebekah chemistry?? U tried bitch 

OH GOD, AURORA’S MEETING CAMI

Yikes…Hayley missed thanksgiving dinner with Jackson and Hope

Oh shit…Elijah’s realizing that the prophecy still stands

3x08

Seems that Aurora’s levelling the playing field with Klaus by using Cami

Finally a Hope sighting! 

Ok, what exactly are Aurora’s mental health issues here??? 

So apparently she’s bipolar, but why is that a reason to keep her locked up in a monastery?

AYA’S CATCHING ON TO MARCEL’S PLANS

RIGHTT, I FORGOT THAT THE STRIX WOULD COME FOR TRISTAN

Oh yea, Marcel has a tough choice to make

What’s going on with the Crescent pack now? Are they just chilling out??

Looks like Cami is hitting the marks with getting Aurora where it hurts

Urgh, I do not love the implication of Aurora’s mind being “damaged”

Totally saw it coming that Klaus would snap Lucien’s neck 

I actually never thought about that…the three “villains” are strong like the Originals, considering they were turned not long after the Mikaelsons

It makes sense that Finn and Tristan were acquaintances, considering they’re both annoying

If the writers are trying to get me to see Cami’s “dark side,” she didn’t do anything wrong. SHE BEATS ABUSERS AND THAT’S QUEEN SHIT

Oh Aurora, I would not say that Cami or Klaus are “drawn” to each other’s darkness 

I love the way Elijah fights…he wasn’t wrong about it being like a rhythm 

YAY MARCEL’S A DOUBLE-AGENT

OH SHIT, THE GYM MEMBERS ARE WAKING UP AND THEY’VE TRANSITIONED 

STARTING TO FEEL LIKE KLAUS AND AURORA’S RELATIONSHIP IS COMING TO AN END 

OH MY GOD HE WENT OFF ON HER, HER HEART IS BROKEN  

Thank god he got the coordinates though 

Aurora’s probably gonna go way off the rails now

OH YES KLAMILLE HUGGED, MY HEART IS RESTORED, MY SKIN IS CLEARING UP ALREADY 

ELIJAH, STOP DOUBTING MARCEL. YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS HIM IS ANNOYING ME

Marcel is making valid points about the Strix needing to be loyal…too bad it’s a little hypocritical lmao 

OOH, SO ELIJAH AND KLAUS ARE MOVING IN ON REBEKAH’S LOCATION, I LIKE IT 

I think Lucien showed up to comfort Aurora…

I don’t think Cami really has a dark side?? whatever the writers want me to see, it’s not showing 

Interesting, let’s see what Freya and Finn have to say to each other

3x09-3x16 review coming soon! Please, DO NOT POST SPOILERS OR HATE COMMENTS. I don’t expect people to agree with my opinions, but being rude is not going to get me to change mine. I haven’t seen the show before, my opinions are probably going to change over time as I keep watching. If you want longer notes on any of the episodes, opinions on a TO ship, my overall thoughts on S1 or S2; please ask or message me, I’d be happy to share them.

#the originals #the originals s3 #the originals cw #the originals reviews #klaus mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #hayley marshall #hayley mikaelson #freya mikaelson #hope mikaelson #marcel gerard #davina claire #cami o'connell #vincent griffith #jackson kenner #lucien castle #aurora de martel #tristan de martel #aya al-rashid #finn mikaelson #kol mikaelson #mikaelson family #klamille #klayley #klaus x cami #klaus x hayley #marbekah #tvdu #bri watches

[eddiemunsonssoulmate]

Make love, not war: The anti- OBX drama edition

Okay kids, listen up.

I’m too old for all of this drama and I’ve been on this hellsite for way too long to just keep watching it in silence so this is gonna be my only, long ass post about this mess that has occured/is occuring. I’m trying to get my thoughts out and and maybe talk some sense into the last three braincells some people have left.

These are my thoughts. My opinion. It’s totally fine if you disagree but if you feel strongly offended or called out by this, you might be part of the problem.

I’ve been watching the drama for a while now and normally I’m just someone who’s on the quiet side, grabbing a box of popcorn and watching how y’all tear each other to pieces but seriously? 

Some of you really need to get a life.

Fandom life isn’t always easy, fandom life can be messy, some people are not what they seem, yadda yadda.

But seriously, did you lose all the respect you had when you’ve signed up on this website or social media in general?

First: The Rudy “drama”

Someone, a really sweet and nice to everyone person, stated a theory based on an anon ask who based their ask on a social media website. A theory. A worst case scenario of what might have happened. They wanted to be nice and answer to every anon they’re getting but guys. 

Guys.

It was a theory. A mere idea of what might have happened because someone asked, nothing else. It was not facts, there was no evidence and the ask that caused all of this was not based on facts either. It can totally be fun to speculate about things. You’re allowed to believe what you want. Rudy’s a dick, Rudy’s a sweet angel, Rudy is a blue alien in disguise, everyone is allowed to have an opinion on something but oh my god.

Don’t make facts out of theories. 

Don’t look at three emotes and be like “oh my god they have to be dating!”

Don’t make a drama out of two actors not liking each other’s posts on Instagram like what the heck.

When did Social Media take over your life so much that you interpret everything in those little things? There’s a real life out there, ya know?

We don’t know anything for a fact so let it go. Wait until someone says something official which probably won’t happen.

More importantly, stay out of actors' private lives as much as you can. Seriously. You’re welcome to state your opinion about them, make theories, stuff like that but tbh, it’s better to stay out of it because at the end of your day, it’s none of our business. Celebrity stalking is not and never will be cool. Don’t waste your time and energy of trying to figure something out they clearly don’t want you to see. Best example for this are like, baby news.

I know it can be exciting to figure stuff out. I know you can be totally curious because you like that person and want to find things about their life but don’t blow it out of proportion.

Actors are humans. Actors are not their characters. They have their own private life and if they want to share, that’s cool. If not, then that’s also cool. And tbh, the OBX cast is feeding us a lot more way more than other actors from other shows/movies, god bless them.

But who the fuck do you think you are that you’re sending them, the actors or the people talking about it, hate based on a simple theory on a website that has a life on it’s own and things that happen on here should stay on here? That’s not cool, it’s a shame for other people in the fandom. Why would you want to make a person feel bad because I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like to feel this way either.

They’re grown ups, they can do what they want. You don’t have to like it but for the love of god:

Have some respect for a human being.

Second: The Chase Thing aka #chasestokespartyisover

That last sentence totally applies here too.

Have respect for a human being.

Boy made a tweet over ten years ago where he said something that was problematic. Was that cool? No. Did he apologize? Yes. Is it time to let it go? Totally. Was his hacking excuse true or not? WE DON’T KNOW.

You know what’s not cool tho? Some people taking their time to scroll down TEN YEARS AND MORE on a timeline to get some tea on them that you can use and complain about.

I know quarantine can get boring but jfc guys. There are more things to life than obsessing over an actor, ya know.

We all said shit in our youth, that’s a fact but people change. They grow. Don’t compare a teenage boy with a grown ass man.

You know what’s also totally 100% not acceptable? People photoshopping fake screenshots to show what a big mean white boi Chase is, trying to fuel the fire of hate. What the fuck is wrong in those minds?

Cancel Culture is a toxic phenomenon that should be the only thing getting canceled. You can’t cancel people, ya know. It’s fucking toxic to say something like that and just...don’t, man. I barely have any words left to describe this stupid thing.

Make love, not war. Spread love, not hate.

Fandom is not a place to rip each other to pieces. Not everything in this world is about race, sex/gender or problematic things. Just because someone doesn’t reblog a lot about Madison it’s mostly not because of racism or because she’s queer. Sure, that’s probably the case for some people but you know, those people aren’t worth it then.

Fandom is not a place that should spread hate around, especially not on anon, sending people asks filled with hate. There’s a bunch of younger kids on here, especially in the OBX fandom from what I’ve seen so far and it’s not okay to tell a 15 year old girl to tell her to go kill herself because she likes Rudy more than JD or shit like that. It’s never okay to something like that but it hits the younger ones even harder. Maybe it’s their first fandom and people ruin that experience on the spot, feeling powerful while on anon.

Fandom should be a place where we come together and have fun. Make friends and share things. Gifset, fanfics, theories about the new season, things like that. It should be a place to freak out over new teasers, new pictures from the set, the cast sharing stuff on their platform of choice and just things we enjoy.

There are different ways to block and blacklist on Tumblr, especially if you’re using it in a browser on your laptop/pc. Use that to block toxic people, tags you don’t wanna see and create your own little bubble where you’re happy in. Do this in case you feel uncomfortable with some people around here, so you only see what makes you happy.

Please remind yourself about the fact that behind all those blogs, there are real people. People who all have their own lives, own opinions, own ideas. Same goes for actors. They’re not there for your personal entertainment, they don’t have to share their complete private life with you. They’re human, just like you and me and it’s unacceptable to send them hate, no matter what they’ve done. You don’t have to like them but keep it to yourself or talk about it with friends, I don’t give a shit but leave it out of their sight.

Please remind yourself that we want to have a good time here and especially during times like these where we spend more time on here than we probably should *laughs*

If you made it to the end, thank you for your attention and taking your time and remember:

Be nice to each other, the world is cruel enough.

-Captain out.

#outer banks #obx #obx netflix #rudy pankow #chase stokes #madison bailey #jonathan daviss #madelyn cline #drew starkey #obx cast #this is just a massive brain dumb with lots of swearing lmao

[meanandscary]

8 more days until my husband graduates from bootcamp.

I cannot believe I survived almost 8 weeks without him. Was I alone in it? No. But I need to honestly stop knocking myself of the credit I deserve.

Still remember the card ride we were on when he was complaining about how dead end his job was and how better off we’d be financially if he had joined the Navy.

We were brand new parents. Hit with a fucking pandemic, living in a shit hole and feeling like shit holes. Our daughter was five months old. I had no job and we didn’t know what the next couple months were going to look like. Let alone the next couple YEARS. It was scary, dark and sometimes felt hopeless.

I remember being at home all day with the baby while he worked. Breastfeeding, watching TV, entertaining the baby and waiting for him to come back. Not knowing when things were going to change or how.

“Then why don’t you just do it?” I said. And from that moment we had a plan. I can’t believe everything started from a simple conversation and now we are at the end of the hardest part. Not only that, but we have ANOTHER child on the way.

I seldom take the time to give myself slack or credit or really admire the life I have. The things I do. I’m always concerned with not doing ENOUGH.

My husband left in May and since then I’ve successfully weaned our impossible daughter off breastfeeding. Gotten her on a schedule. Managed to feed, change and entertain her for weeks. I’m growing a human. I’ve moved out of our apartment. Dealt with the emotional turmoil that is pregnancy and being totally cut off from your spouse. I’ve done a lot and honestly I didn’t let it destroy me.

I’ve had some really great times through all of this. Like my daughters first birthday and birthday party. Watching her grow, become more interactive, silly, independent. Going to a carnival for the first time in forever. Going to the lake. Dying my hair. Going to the museum. My anatomy scan of the baby. The tiring walks we take in the mornings before nap time. The desperate nap time car rides. Going to the YMCA for swim time. I’ve done my best to enjoy all the little things. Despite it all. Even the joy of getting a letter from my husband can make my day.

But here we are almost at the fucking end! I’ll finally have a little bit of sanity back. And hopefully some more information about the future.

I’ve really had to push myself so much these past few weeks. In a way I think it was totally healthy for me to have this time alone. SO much has happened the past two years it’s insane. I never got to digest any of it. The thing about having kids is, I don’t think you ever do. Everything is go go go until those really big moments happen where it all kind of hits you. Like when the Princess at her birthday party was “crowning” her an official princess and the fact that I’ve been holding this little girl for over a year hit me. I could remember her very first cry and how it made my heart flutter. That’s when it hits you.

Or when she’s sleeping and I get to just look at her peacefully and remember the sleepless nights on my end when we just brought her home. Nobody lies when they tell you enjoy every moment because it goes so fast. It does! It’s time consuming. It’s hard work. It’s never quiet. I guess on the rare occasion that it is, you can truly soak it in.

Being away from my husband forced me to take risks, do things I didn’t think about doing before, being more organized, on top of things. In control. I mean I think we spent the first 9 months of her life not having a clue how to do anything. She was the boss. There was no order at all and we were both a wreck on the inside and out.

I used to not go to the store alone with my daughter because I was afraid of this, that and the other. I also never took the car seat out by myself or knew how to install it. Didn’t like driving with her alone in the backseat. Was afraid to feed her real food instead of baby food I knew was impossible to choke on. All these fears I overcame! I stopped dreading mornings as much and instead prepping for them mentally.

Also I started to slowly but surely get rid of people from my high school off of social media which I know sounds silly but it gives me anxiety. However when I actually do it I feel so much better and don’t regret it at all. I’m rapidly approaching my mid 20’s and it really is time to let go of the past. I’ve had such a hard time closing chapters and realizing I’m in a new one. Social media makes it THAT much harder but I think it’s even harder to break from it as a whole. It’s just unrealistic since my generation was raised on it. It’s so ingrained in me. It’s much easier to just create a safer space for yourself than force yourself off of something that provides creative expression.

I genuinely enjoy MY OWN content I just get annoyed by others. I’m still healing and processing past events and relationships. But those things were real and deep so I need to be forgiving with myself about it. But I definitely have gotten to points in the past where it’s like all I would think about. Now I’m not allowing myself to have SO MUCH dwell time. I need to live and be present. But also gentle with myself as I dont have THEE most stamina out there. Like seriously. Catch me with dizzy spells all the time.

Another big thing I accomplished was changing my name (again) legally which was A PROCESS! I’m never changing my name again. Seriously it is not worth it. Props to my 21 year old self for doing the most and going knee deep with transition but JFC was it a mess to get out of.

This is such a long post but it’s been a long summer so far.

Anyways. When it comes to genders I’ve time and time again come back to the same conclusion that I’m just fluid. A few months ago I was very turned off my anything feminine and felt more masculine again but when I get into THAT mindset I’m very one track mind. Blinders on.

The reality is I’m capable of feeling feminine and being happy in it. Like currently I’m VERY femme vibes and I’m comfortable with it. I’ve found a happy medium. Will I ever grow my hair rapunzel long again and flaunt around like I’m a cottage core princess? No. That’s just not me. Ironically enough I love that aesthetic I just know it isn’t ME. I’m way more rough around the edges. And that’s okay. I’m learning to stop trying and to just BE.

I’m excited to see how my marriage will feel after coming back together. We weren’t in a super strong place a few months ago. I always knew we have a solid foundation but there’s always so much to work on. Most of it comes from the inside of either of us. There was so much lack of being people. I think most new parents go through that but nobody wants to talk about that.

The first year of parenting is supposed to be some magical quirky shit show that everyone has a good wholesome laugh about. When in reality it’s just a flaming messy shit HOLE that you laugh about otherwise you will cry about it. But you end up crying regardless.

Anyways. The bottom line is. I’m ready to fucking move on. Move OUT. And go forward. This is just a little mile marker for me to say “you did it! you got through those dreaded 8 weeks!”

#me #personal

[kiara-carrera]

Headcannons dating meme: Anthony x Theresa

this is under the cut because it got long really quick!

where they first met and how: they met during their childhood. their parents were all very close, so theresa and her brother spent a good deal of time with the bridgertons. however due to the 6-ish year age gap, they didn’t spend a good deal of time together and anthony most definitely viewed theresa as like an additional little sister due to her friendship with daphne

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved: okay this i’m still shaky on because i sort of need season 2 to come into play (also waiting on my copies of these books to be delivered so i can have a tad more context), but there is definitely some light flirting in season 1 but it’s not super serious on his part but season 2,,,their might be a bit more even though she’s with another dude like anthony you choose now to like her????

who fell for who first (if applicable): theresa’s been head over heels for anthony since she was a teenager. at first it was kind of just like a cute lil childhood crush on her friends eldest brother but when she was like finally an adult and stuff she started taking her feelings a bit more seriously.

where their first date was and what it was like: they go promenading in the park, very nice weather, very cute, his mom chaperones from afar and is vvv happy while anthony’s like mom i’m like 30 stop embarrassing me jfc

who asks who out and how (with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’?): anthony is the one who makes the move to officially court her ... it’s very out of nowhere and kind of angsty because she’s technically courting someone else.

who proposes first: anthony

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away: it’s a secret at first because once it’s clear that they’re doing this for real, she has to break off a courtship with someone else and it kind of causes a bit of a scandal because it looked like they were going to be engaged. when they do go public, it’s lowkey a shitshow

where the proposal happens and how (kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park?): so there’s an impromptu proposal and an official proposal. the impromptu one is basically the same moment as him confessing feelings because lord does he not want to see her marry someone else and it’s sort of uncalled for but he’s just putting everything out there. the second one is a bit more formal and they’re not completely alone but it’s very soft.

if they adopt any pets together: nope

who’s more dominant: anthony

where their first kiss was and what it was like: very abrupt, a little aggressive and overly passionate ... also depending on how i timeline this it may technically count as cheating pls do not come for me

if they have any matching couples stuff (mugs? sweaters? pillowcases?): i like to think their wedding bands have a matching vibe to them, but that’s sort of like a standard thing lol.

how into pda they are: not really. it’s also sort of a time era taboo anyways, but they’d only like going as far as like holding hands or a kiss on the cheek when others are around.

who holds the umbrella when it rains: anthony because he believes in being a gentleman

where their usual ‘date spot’ is (if applicable): honestly at their house, they just like quiet intimate time together.

who’s more protective: this is sort of even between them, although anthony’s more of a defend your honor publicly kind of person while theresa’s more the one who pulls him aside to be like i want you to be safe sort of like making sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.

how long it is before they sleep together (can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’): their wedding night covers both of these

if they argue about anything: this is well before their relationship, but they argue a lot about his bs in s1 with berbrooke and sometimes how he gets this mightier than thou attitude with her because they’re at the point where he still views her as like just some lovesick little girl

who leaves more marks (lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc.): theresa and she has no shame in it whatsoever.

who steals whose clothes and how often: theresa’s been known to pick up his discarded shirts every once and while and wear it to bed

how they cuddle (spooning? facing each other?): sometimes it’s spooning, but sometimes they face each other and she rests her head on his chest.

what their favourite nonsexual activity is: walks in the park, horseback rides, just spending time together in general.

how long they stay mad at each other: anthony can usually only go a few hours after an argument, but if theresa knows she’s right you can bet she will silent treatment the situation for like a day.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are: they both drink tea but i know nothing about tea drinking so i’m not going to answer this lmao

if they ever have any children together: they will have a few! definitely not as many as his family had, but at least 2 or 3. one’s definitely going to be named in honor of her late brother.

if they have any special pet names for each other: anthony uses darling a lot while theresa’s been known to use sweetheart every now and again.

if they ever split up and / or get back together: they don’t. once they’re together, it’s a straight shot to happily ever after!

what their shared living space is like (messy? clean? what kind of decor?): elegant and definitely tidy. 

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like: they probably spend it with their families, so it’s definitely a fun affair. it’ll probably be a little bit after they marry, so it’ll be a good time.

what their names are in each other’s phones: this is not relevant to them for obvious reasons

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ (buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening?): none as of right now!

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first: theresa for both, but she likes to wake up on the real early side which sort of drives anthony up a wall.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon: theresa lives to be little spoon but on occasion she likes to be big spoon

who hogs the bathroom: i think based on regency styles, probably theresa based on the aspects of everything that goes into looking “presentable” but i really want to say anthony because i just think it’s amusing to think about him sorting out his sideburns every day.

who kills the spiders / takes them outside: anthony’s in the business of whacking spiders swiftly while theresa’s like hold on let me get something to scoop him up to put him back outside.

#asks #ship ask game #antheresa #hughstheforcelou

[trensu]

Overall what was your experience watching guardian, and what fics have you read so far? Have any favorites?

Okay so watching Guardian was entertaining except that I watched it on youtube and about five(ish?) of the episodes had the subtitles out of sync with what was happening on screen. It was SUPER annoying and i ended up not watching those episodes very much. I was also very very uncomfortable with the episode where everyone was acting out of character bc of some sort of personality swapping magic (or something?? Idk.). It would’ve been a very fun episode bc it’s always fun to see characters behaving the opposite of how they normally do, yknow? But then they had Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan mocking and shaming Not!Penny for his flamboyantly gay behavior?? It was gross of them to do that. I did not like their reactions at all. (Although i did laugh when Zhao Yunlan tried to pretend to have had a personality swap so he could flirt with and grab at Shen Wei.)

ASIDE FROM ALL THAT, i did like the show! Shen Wei being all tender and soft for Zhao Yunlan made me melt into a puddle!! 

i am WEAK for my ships lovingly tending to each other!!! Like that part after Zhao Yunlan “saved” Shen Wei from a mugging and Shen Wei rubs some kind of ointment on him??  Or the part where Zhao Yunlan loses his vision and Shen Wei saves him from getting hit by a car(DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW SHEN WEI KNELT IN THE RAIN FOR HOURS TO TRY TO GET HIS VISION BACK)? Or when Shen Wei finds Zhao Yunlan all stomach ache-y and sick so he takes him home and puts him to bed and then cleans up his messy apartment for him and THEN WATCHES HIM SLEEP WITH A LOOK OF UTTER ADORATION ON HIS FACE?? or when Zhao Yunlan gives Shen Wei his coat bc Shen Wei looked cold?? hell yeah, give me some more of that action!!!

But by far my most favorite episode was the one where Zhao Yunlan got sent to the past anD WE GOT TO MEET BABY BAMBI-EYED SHEN WEI. OH MY GOD, I WANTED ZHAO YUNLAN TO DO TERRIBLE NO GOOD THINGS TO SWEET INNOCENT SHEN WEI. I MEAN, ZHAO YUNLAN TAUGHT HIM HOW TO SUCK A LOLLIPOP. SHEN WEI EAGERLY PLAYED WITH THAT LOLLIPOP IN HIS MOUTH.  WHAT THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT??? HOW COULD THEY GIVE ME THAT AND EXPECT ME TO NOT WANT SHEN WEI TO BE ENTHUSIASTICALLY DEFLOWERED??? THE WRITERS WERE OUT TO KILL ME WITH THAT SCENE, JFC.

Don’t get me wrong, i love the badass Black Cloak Envoy. And his sword that can turn into a glaive?? SO FREAKING COOL. And, I mean, his whole costume is amazing and i kinda want to cosplay as him now and the way he passes judgment on criminals is, like, uh, WOW there goes my competency kink...wait where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so I love that version of him but ohmygod innocent bambi eyed Shen Wei is definitely my favorite version.

As for fics, so far I’ve only read a handful of them in the guardian fandom. i’ve absolutely LOVED the fics by @sarah-yyy. They were GREAT. I’ve read the fic recs that @merinnan sent my way, (of which I think Going Viral was my favorite) and i’m gonna start working on some fic recs that an anon sent me. 

All the stuff i’ve read thus far have been very enjoyable. And let me tell you, I felt VERY vindicated when one of the first fics i saw featured Dom!Shen Wei. I was like “AHA! i clocked him as a Dom a mile away!!” I didn’t actually read that one bc i wasn’t really in the mood for that kind of fic, but it’s nice to know i can still spot trends like that lolol.

And you know what? From the fics I’ve read, i’ve gleaned that Zhao Yunlan’s mom was alive in the novel version of this story and she seems awesome. i’m kind of curious about the novel now that I know she’s around (and seems to actively want her son to marry Shen Wei, I think? idk if that’s canon but in fic she’s very enthusiastically shipping them lol).

Finally, to wrap up this post that got much longer than I intended, everyone i’ve interacted with so far in this fandom has been lovely! 

#guardian ask #guardian #anon #trensu replies #Anonymous

[c0ffeebee]

4/4 Tiago is such a fucking mess jfc. Everybody telling the vega boys to grow up this ep aw. Detective timon is the only good cop, even when he’s threatening to murder a dude. Yikes. OH SHIT townsend cruising?? didnt see that one coming, but suddenly frumpy nat dormer’s concern makes sense. This could be interesting if they parallel townsend and flyvega? Wanna see where that goes. M did you SERIOUSLY just get a tattoo to match your crush. U met him a week ago. Ur a disaster baby. gr9 ep.

we love one (1) messy detective boy who wants to do good, but most of the time fails miserably 💞

well... he's a good cop, but he's not exactly the best person, i mean i love how almost all of the characters there are fucked up in their own ways, it's one of the most appealing parts of penny dreadful to me, almost no good or bad characters, mostly they are just people capable of both and so complex and messy it's beautiful

and i don't think you really want to see where this goes lol, i feel like yeah, townsend and his lover (he'll have one) do parallel flyvega in some sense, and not in the best way, because as we all know flyvega gets majorly fucked over, and with townsend... well, you'll see

the tattoo moment was amazing tho, flyvega sharing the bottle of booze, that frame of rico giving the bottle to mateo and once again like in the hospital scene they kind of touch hands there? amazing, and rico then bringing his hand to mateo's knee after? masterpiece

ah, i really loved the third episode, it was the one that inspired me to draw art of this show for the first time, good memories 💗

can't wait to talk about other episodes too

and sorry to my followers, i don't know why i didn't answer those in one post, but yeah, didn't think of that ❤️

#bee answers #cheerynoir

[fnaf-sxc]

Any thoughts on, what you'll do with the unfinished M!As that you have on here?

FUCK

TL:DR: I might scrap the Magic Anons that are unfinished, I want to rework old ideas and comics but not make major changes to the AU, Im waiting for Security Breach for an idea I have.

Long ver under the cut:

I’ve re-reading parts of my AU to unlock the plot of them from my memories, its been interesting and some-what cringe worth it, mostly because my english was bleeagghhh, somewhat worst to the level I have now (?) I still dont know the time verbs but jfc sometimes the english text was literally a spanish phrase, that only sound good in spanish. 

There are also some topics in the AUs that I felt I did poorly, because I was younger and way inexperienced in storytelling... still, I still love a lot of things I did for the AU and even when there are some I wish i didnt implemented, I had fun

I am currently reworking the first meeting of Dark and Spring in a mini comic format because HOLY that is an old comic and is show poorly (i dont know if i should go with gijinka, animatronic or the furry ver (?))

As for Magic Anons... mhhhh

I quickly check just now and... well, is complicated, because retake them would mean reconect with the original ideas i had before and like i said, i didnt like how i introduced and potrayed some things, specially in The Spin Set, which was the first AU I did 100% myself, without talking and rambling to a friend to collectivelly make ideas... and I feel im weak when I do ideas on my own jklaghsjkd

The M!A that are left are Phantoms in the Room (pretty light hearted, nowhere to go), Big Bun (lighthearted, nowhere to go), Dominant (im somewhat uncomfy with this, nowhere to go) and Age Storm, which for some reason I begin to add actual plot to The Spin Set to it and because I begin to make it heavier, I begin to ignore the main plot jkhaskdas.

At first M!A were supposed to be a lighthearted escape from the AUs, unpredicteable and overall fun, but after I completed one and read it in one go I re-read it and is very messy chronologically, things happen too slow or too fast, there is nothing planned so is super weird and I didnt like that, so I begin to use M!S and try to think on a plot and make the asks interact and guide it, but I knew what story I wanted to tell and what I had to do. Which is why I also add rules to the ask and overall ignore thoses who were trying to gain control over what I was showing, what I was telling.

If anything this is the main base of the Sonic AU project im currently working, im telling a story, i know whats going to happen and what will happen, and people can send asks and interact, but never interfeer. I am the puppet master, and as much people want to take the lead and make me change the story, they cant.

I guess I complitelly broke the whole magic of the Magic Anons heh, but it was because It made me uncomfy to not be in control of my own story, and make a flip-flop comic had make no sence when I finished it. 

I used to had in mind “how do I make a comic that people like enough to want to do a comic dub about it?” and work towards that idea, make comics that were insteresting, had a structure and look atractive (as much as it can being a plain doodle and not fullcolor).... I even make a few myself to fullfill that desire I had. This is a problem I still had till today, I know it sounds selfish when I write it and people read it, but it was like a “personal goal”, the “reach this level of professionalism in your work”.

I dont think I want to retake the 5(6?) AUs I worked on originally, the whole “Silververse”, at least not with how they are currently. Like I said, there were choices I made that I didnt like when I re-read them, but i still have some nostalgia about it. 

I know The Fright is the only AU that has an end (which is not very good written im so sorry I wish i could write), Nightmare World never got to the endgame since I could never fully work on Nightmare/Golden relationship, their toxicity and their redemption to start like a healthy couple, The Spin Set has 2 endings and the more I remember them, the more I realize I had to do a lot to even get to the endgame stage, I never get to fully work on Purgatory Simulator and UCN is a whole new thing that I want to work on in the future.

There are 2 things I regret that I did a lot in the AUs and is hightly tied to how emotionally inmature I was back in 2015-2016, but I dont want to enter in discussion, All i want to say is that I can make it better, I can make it great.

I want to give closure but I cant in the current state things are, I need to fix but note errase the original aura this had. And with my FNaF hype back bc all it took was see the FNaF AR animatronics move like animatronics (bc this series at some point stop being about animatronics and more about “What did Mr Afton did now?????”), I want to work on things.

Here is the plan I have:

I want to rework a few comics, maybe not all of them, but a few, maybe add a few more to patch parts of the story I felt needed to be fixed.The Fright had ended, I could pulish it. Nightmare World never reach endgame even with all the backstory of the nightmares, I could make it happen. The Spin Set needed more development before I reach the 2 endings, I could make that happen, even better to what I had in mind before. Purgatory Simulator could be a short AU comparated to The Spin Set, but dense and straight to the point, and it would be great.

But that takes time, a lot of time, specially when Im just entering the world of being a freelancer, not having a stable job to sustent myself, and a lot of different projects Im working on and I dont want to leave behind. But i could do it, if you believe in me and have patience that I always come back, I could do it.

I also want to have fun, and not tie myself to anything.

On the other hand... I had an idea for another AU that includes UCN, FNAF VR, FNAF AR and the upcoming FNAF SB. It wouldnt be part of “Silververse” because the end of thoses is FNAF SL and FNAF 6, not a continuation as there would be too many timelines, but a frash start on another verse... this time in hands of another Nightmare Puppet, not Nightmarionne.

I have ideas, i’ve working on designs of thoses games for fun and to check if it could work, but I cannot do much till the new game is out. Its an idea I would like to do, and if I fail well, at least I will make comics about it.

So yeah- sorry for the long explanation/rant, Mr Hippo is my spirit animal (?). I guess this was a weight i begin to carry since 2016, the “work on too many things and only about one series” expecting to have something in return, so when my Sonic Forces art begin to have that recognition I lean more on that side.

But you know what? I graduated as an Illustrator, and along all thoses years I connected to the idea that I draw to make myself happy, and make people happy is such a bonus that makes me more happy.

I love FNaF, I dont have to tie and restrict myself for something I love, love is free and I can perfectly draw and be into something for months and then move to a different place, as long as it makes me happy.

And as long you sitll have fun with my content, things will be okay

#fnaf sxc

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #238

“crimson calligraphy written on the trees, creature from the grave, headless and hellbent for me.”

Have you ever played golf? Like, mini-golf. Is there a lake near your house? No, but there's two small ponds down the road. Have you ever made your own pizza or pasta dough? No. Have you ever watched an entire season of a tv show in one day? Uhhhhh how long are the first few seasons of Supernatural? Because Jason and I fucking binged it, and I honestly think that's partially the reason I don't even enjoy TV anymore. Like I liked the show, but jfc it became torture at some point. Not his fault at all, I just never pointed it out. BUT ANYWAY, it's definitely possible we did. What did you have for dinner tonight (or last night)? A ham and cheese hot pocket. Do your parents do things that ‘embarrass’ you? This is so mean, but my mom makes the cringiest jokes and such imo that gives me mad secondhand embarrassment. Do you like any Bon Jovi songs? Yeah, a decent handful. Who was the last person you were in a car with? Mom. Do you give people second chances? Ha, more than "second." How’re things between you and your most recent ex? We're totally great. Really as if we didn't even break up, considering I mean... nothing emotionally has changed. We just know that being together right now isn't the wise decision. It's frustrating as hell, though. We've already established we're not going to "wait" for each other, but neither of us are actively looking for a new partner, either. I want her, and from what I can tell, she wants me, too. We kinda just... don't talk about how unfair it all is anymore because we both get too upset. I was even supposed to go up there with her and her fam for her birthday and Christmas, but that's changed because she and I agree it's too soon after splitting, making it only more difficult to be around each other. We'd want to cuddle and kiss and such by instinct, so we're trying to wait until the wound isn't as fresh. Though honestly, I don't know how visiting period would go consider as said, there has been zero change in romantic attraction. Ugh yeah I just hope she figures out what she wants and all and we can get back together. Have you been to a wedding this year? No. I'm going to my half-sister's next year, though. Are you an aunt or uncle? Yes, and another niece is on her way. :') Do you expect to be married in the next two years? Probably not. What season is your birthday in? Winter. Have you ever been hunting? Fuck that shit. How often do you walk around barefoot? Always in my own house + in other houses if I'm allowed to take my shoes off. When you eat take-out, do you just eat it out of the containers provided? Usually, but it does depend on what food it is. Ex., those little boxes that have rice in them from Chinese places? I'm using a bowl. From the container is just messy. Would you need to sleep with someone before considering marrying them? Nah. Do you carry condoms? No. Would you date someone who has a hearing aid? ... Yes...? "No" is just... so rude?? Like that is something the person absolutely cannot help, nor is it a HUGE thing. It's just a hearing aid, dude. How organized are the files on your computer? Pretty decent. Folders and such. Could be better still, probably. Have you ever been to a strip club? Nah, not my scene. Have you ever brought home a stray animal? Pleeeeenty of cats. Are you physically strong? No, especially not my legs. I've got a newborn fawn's legs, jc. Still working on building the muscle back up. Would you date someone with braces? Oh my god, fuck off. Yes I would. I was the person with braces dating someone without them, so 1.) I obviously can't say shit, 2.) they're taking care of their goddamn teeth, and 3.) I dunno, wearing braces has no goddamn impact on personality???????????? Does scuba diving interest you? Not to an incredible degree, but it'd be cool. Would you ever ask your parents for relationship advice? Maybe for certain topics. Do you think people look up to you? Y'know that "oh no hunty WHAT is u doin" meme??? That's me if someone does. How often do you have trouble sleeping at night? *blinking* There are people who don't??????? Do you blush easily? Ohhhhhh yes. Do you get angry at yourself or at others more often? Hm. Not sure. Can you name five current world leaders? AHAHA nope. How many times have you had the flu? Zero. Do you think imagination is valuable? Oh hell yes. We would be NOWHERE CLOSE to where we are as animals without it. Who or what are you most impatient with? I don't know. When was the last time you mowed a lawn? Never. Have you seen all of the Star Wars films? No; seen only the first three with a friend and saw zero appeal. He didn't either. How about all of the Harry Potter ones, so far? I haven't even seen one. Jason and I started the first one together but. Paid way more attention to each other than the movie lmfao. What part of the newspaper do you typically enjoy reading? None. I collect my school's papers now though 'cuz I'm the photographer for it. :') Have you ever made a website, even a simple one? Four that I remember. The ancient and now-defunct ones were back when I think this site called Wetpaint was a host for simple sites, and a lot of us RPers posted our mob info and stuff there. I had one for Talons, one for Connrads. Ha, out of curiosity, I think I looked for them not all too long ago since I never actually deleted them, but I think the site itself was re-purposed. NOW, I have a Wix site for my photography, and then Kalahari Manor is a ProBoards-hosted site. Which was better: your childhood or your teen years? Jfc, childhood. Teen years were a chaotic and rancid cesspit in terms of mental health. What was your reaction to your first time falling in love? I truly imagine that realizing I was *in love* with Jason surpassed what a high probably feels like lmao. What does it take for someone to win your heart? I'm actually putting thought into this one and I think what appeals to me in a person most is just being friendly with a good sense of humor and obvious, shameless concern for others. AND JFC, HAVE EMOTION. Don't be a brick wall with me. Lacking an emotional side, positive or negative, is such a turn-off to me. I'm not attracted to robots. Being a gentle person is important, and for me personally, you need to actually act like you're into me. Not just between us. Do not make me a secret. AND BE CREATIVE AND WEIRD AND FRESH!!!!!!!!!!! There's nothing wrong with more "vanilla" people, but just for me myself, I need someone who stands out for some good reason. lol okay this answer's actually getting kinda long, I'll stop. There's a number of ways. What is one thing you would rather be doing? Ha ha yo real talk, Sara and I are getting all emotional and deep into our relationship, platonic or romantic, and I want me and her in her bed right now tearing each other up alsdkjfla;kwejre I love her a lot ok. When was the last time you changed your mind about something? OKAY SO I started a new birth control, right? It. Sent. Me. BACK. With my PTSD. How? Idfk, but I was suddenly obsessing over Him again, badly. I stopped that shit, and wha'd'ya know, two days later, I'm like "lol wtf I don't want him why did that just happen hunty was u ok????????". SO YEAH, that was a trip. Do you know anyone with a lisp? I'm not sure. Possibly. How much weight can you lift at once? No clue. Not a lot. Do you ask guys out, or wait for them to ask you out? I've never asked a guy out, but I wouldn't say I wouldn't. Do you like the last person who showed interest in you? I love her. Describe the last person you stared at? I have no idea. Do you like dating one person at a time, or multiple people? I'm personally monogamous. Have your experiences made you more or less sympathetic to others? MORE. Do you find smoking unattractive? I do. Have your parents ever searched your personal belongings? Mom has. Where did you get your last bruise from? ... Well. This is uh. Awkward. Tying into when I was on that medicine that made my libido fucking uncontrollable (thank the fucking lord I'm back to normal), my breasts are lookin rough, sister. Are you looking forward to anything? Nothing in the VERY near future, I think. A bit further off, Christmas. I can't wait to see the kids so excited again, and for once, we come together as a true family. Plus my #1 wish is to have my Mark tattoo improved at an amazing parlor, and I'm pretty sure that'll be happening, just obvs. not on Christmas Day itself. I'll just be fuckin STOKED when I *know* it's happening. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yes. How much money did you spend today? $1.25 for something from the vending machine. I didn't have breakfast, so I was really hungry. When you’re bored in class, what do you usually do? Try to not doze off. If we're not doing anything, then I'll play around with my phone. Have you ever had a song stuck in your head for more than a day? Oh, definitely. Ever walked into the guy’s bathroom? HA as a stupid elementary school with her friends, we sure did during a work day (my mom used to work with special ed kids at school). We thought we were soooo rebellious. How many wives or husbands do you want? One. What happens if you fall in love with your best friend? Ha, did. I still am, and we hope to be back together someday. Has a teacher ever flirted with you? Not that I know of. Thankfully. Is it okay for friends to kiss each other, as friends? It's not my thing, but sure, if it's consenting and both are aware it's platonic. Do your wishes ever get granted in the worst way possible? Probably in some way at some point I don't recall. How do you feel about your naked body? NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO Have you ever been called obnoxious? I don't think so, anyway. Do you wish you had a bigger family? No. Which friend would you kiss full on the mouth, no questions asked? Sara. Can you do a split or stick your foot up next to your ear? Nope. When was the last time you complained about something? I was venting some mild frustration to Sara earlier tonight. What is your favorite color combination? Favorite is probably pastel orange and light blue. Love it. Then there's pastel pink and purple. Okay pretty much any combination is about the pastels When was the last time you spoke in front of a group? A month or so back when I had to do my Lifeline presentation in FYS. Do you like group projects, or do you prefer to work alone? I strongly prefer working alone. There's no disagreements, compromises, incompetent partners, etc. Have you ever been told you were going to Hell? Yup! (: Indirectly, but. How did you respond? I don't recall, but I wish I did. Who is the most argumentative person you know? She's not in my life anymore partially BECAUSE of that shit. Do you know anyone who is crazy about proper grammar? Yes, but she has OCD as a valid reason. I'm pretty particular about it too to a degree. Who was the last person to make you feel special? Oh my gosh, my therapist told me she was so proud of me and the progress I was making that I just entirely lit up and became a total beaming ball of giggles and "thank you"s. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? No, I'm bi. If your best friend grabs your hand, what do you automatically do? Squeeze it. What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? Cheesy and spicy scrambled eggs, man. Also known as the only thing I can properly cook lmao. Do you tend to flirt a lot, even when the person isn’t single? Fuck no, if they're not single. I'll flirt with my s/o when I see it appropriate or relevant, and in a case where we're both single, I'd be very subtle about it because shy. What’s something that you think is really cute? Off the very top of my head, the Ewoks from Star Wars, oh my fucking god. They were the only thing I enjoyed in the movies. What’s a pretty bird? I mean... pretty much all of them. BUT, can we take a moment to appreciate the bearded vulture? like???? they're fucking BADASS???????????? Besides sleeping, what do you do in bed? Almost... everything. It's the reason I endured/am still recovering from muscle atrophy in my legs. Have you ever hacked into somebody’s account? Playfully, back when that was a thing for friends to do and post lovey-dovey stuff about them everywhere. Megan and I, and I believe Mini and I as well, did it to each other. Possibly more. Is having to pee really badly worse than being really thirsty? Oh hell yes it is. The former can get to a point of hurting. Have you ever touched a Qu'ran? No. Do you love animals more than most? Oh definitely. Why do you eat fast food? It's easy to grab when on the run, and Mom has almost zero time to cook. Then we both have school. Most often I just warm things up in the microwave or grab something substantial enough in the fridge. Is there always going to be that one person you and a friend makes fun of? I guess you could say indirectly, yes. Just something she said in a certain way became an inside joke. Her as a person, no, I wouldn't do that. What is a bad habit of yours that you’re actually trying to fix? Having terrible eye contact. I have a very hard time maintaining it, but I've been trying to keep that weakness in mind when talking to people. Do you write out your feelings? That's one reason why I take these surveys, yes. Do you have bills to pay yet? It's embarrassing that I don't. Not saying like, I want to pay bills, what madman would, but I do want to feel more like a proper, independent adult. Will you be changing your hair any time soon? Not the style, but one thing I'm asking for Christmas is a professional to dye my hair silver. I say pro because my hair does NOT hold color, and because of the bleach needed, Mom's concerned I'll damage my hair if I put my trust into anyone less qualified. Does your mom have a celebrity look-alike? I don't think so, but she looks UNCANNILY like her firstborn daughter. It is SCARY. Is there something you wish you could learn to do? There's loads of stuff. Probably above all, cook. Or stop procrastinating. If you could be amazing at ONE thing, what would it be? Drawing precisely what I see in my head. Because of how important they are to me, I would pay BIG FUCKING BUCKS to get how my 'kats look onto paper. What do you wish people would pay you to do? Complain about my weight. :^) I'd be able to just pay for surgery to fix that within a day. Do you take good pictures? I personally think I do. I mean I wanna be a professional photographer. How would one go about impressing you? It depends on the subject and difficulty of whatever. What probably impresses me most would be someone maintaining a mature, peaceful attitude when there is reason to act otherwise. Self-control, that's it. Do you automatically apologize if you walk into somebody? Duh? Tell me a memory of this summer: It was fucking scorching and I hated every minute of it. What’s something that you don’t need, but really want? Hmmmm. OH, HELL YES. IF I had the proper body to even remotely pull them off, I. Would wear. NOTHING. But corsets. Jesus FUCKING Christ they are so hot. What do you draw more than anything else? Just about all I draw is meerkats. What’s the most favorite class you’ve ever had? The Digital Photography course I took in high school. Or Art Honors my junior year. I really enjoyed the stuff I made. For each person you’ve kissed, describe your feelings in one word: Jason: melancholy; Tyler: dramatic; Girt(?): loyal; Sara: ideal. How do you react when you trip or stumble? Gasp and carry on. If it was a more serious trip, I look around at who saw. Are you good at “biting your tongue”? NO. Why do you love the one you do? She's been there for me without fail, has undying faith in me, supports me through everything, is honest, she's funny and very unique, her adoration for animals shows a great level of compassion, she trusts me so much despite her history, she stands extremely firmly for what she sees as right and wrong... okay I can honestly write an essay on why I love her. Would you rather get [another] tattoo or piercing? GIMME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 THE TATTOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111 Do you have long or short legs? I'd say they're normal, idk. When do you listen to Nickelback? *shrugs* When I wanna? Would you rather make the first move, or your crush? Them. I'm shy.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

[ohpenelopes]

                    i mean i could be aesthetic but instead i'm just pathetic

ALISHA BOE? No, that’s actually PENELOPE “PENNY” BROWN-PATIL from the NEXT GENERATION ERA. You know, the child of LAVENDER BROWN and PARVATI PATIL? Only 21 years old, this HUFFLEPUFF alumni works as a BARISTA and is sided with THE NEUTRALS. SHE identifies as a CIS WOMAN and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be SELF-PITYING, A PERFECTIONIST, and INSECURE but also FLEXIBLE, GENTLE and IMAGINATIVE. 

LINKS – pinboard, stats. CHARACTER PARALLELS – jackie burkhart ( that 70s show ), chloe gemell ( my mad fat diary ), mini mcguinness ( skins uk ), engel beekman ( skam nl ), cassie howard ( euphoria ), emaline ( everything sucks! ), gretchen wieners ( mean girls ), caroline forbes ( the vampire diaries -- earlier seasons ), kelly kapoor ( the office ) AESTHETIC – star shaped hoop earrings, drawing hearts all over your notes, needle pricked finger tips, unapologetic femininity, a loud and cheerful laugh echoing through a hallway, pinky promises, heart shaped sunglasses hiding hungover stained eyes, movie nights with popcorn and rose wine, drowning in the sea of your own thoughts HEADS UP – this intro has mentions of anxiety, but i’ve marked all of these with a trigger warning! <3

backstory ( 2008 - 2026 )

penny is born penelope lyra brown-patil --- penelope, for the woman who not only waited faithfully for her husband’s return for years, but who tricked many man in the process; lyra, for the constellation (because the stars are so wise) --- and as the second (and eventual middle) child to lavender and parvati

and she grows up happy. her childhood is peaceful and wonderful, filled with fun days and laughter. there’s not much out of the ordinary --- it’s stable and beautiful, and penny longs for those days quite a lot.

at some point, she learns of the things her parents went through at school, about war and rebellion and fear. penny admires her mothers more than anything --- she’s scared of this world, of this past, but she’s filled with admiration and a bit of fear that she won’t be able to live up to that. (she doesn’t have to, of course --- there’s no pressure or reason to, but still; she wonders about it, and she can’t shake the thought.)

anxiety tw | though life was stable and good, penny has always felt very uncertain about ... everything. insecurity has never been a stranger to her, nor has anxiety or pressure. she has high expectations of herself, expecting nothing short of the best --- and when she failed as a child (whether it was in playing quidditch on toy brooms or when drawing or when trying to sing perfectly), she would throw tantrums. she got help for this as a child after she had her first full-blown anxiety attack, but it never really faded. | end of tw

her interests as a child mostly range from princess stories to drawing elaborate things to cutting out pretty outfits from fashion magazines. she’s gentle and quiet and excitable when she wants to be, a whirlwind of pink and smiles and tangled long hair

at hogwarts, penny is sorted in hufflepuff (though the hat did consider ravenclaw) for her spirit. she doesn’t mind not being a gryffindor like her parents once were (or, at least, she doesn’t later on; at first it just seems like an affirmation that she’s not as brave as they are), likes how yellow compliments her eyes and fits in quite nicely among the puffs.

anxiety tw | teenagedom is a tough time for her. it seems like everyone is able to juggle it all, and then there’s penny: unable to keep up good grades and look pretty and have an exciting social life and have enough sleep. she feels like she’s drowning in all the expectations she has for herself, feels like she’s the only one on this world who is suffering (she’s prone to a woe is me mentality, for sure) and so hides it all behind perfectly curated smiles. her insecurity has always been strong, but it grows. she drowns them out by pretending. end of tw

in those years, she should be learning who she is, but in stead, penny learns how to be what others want. she shifts and shapes and bends herself to match others expectations --- she’s loud and funny and excitable among her peers, grinning widely and flipping her hair, appearing confident and extroverted and completely at ease. sometimes she’s quieter, a more gentle and softer being, lovely and quaint. she’s a model student (minus the amazing grades) to her teachers, a kind older housemate to the first years, a tough bitch when situations call for it. and sometimes it feels genuine, this person she’s showing off, and sometimes it all feels like a play. it depends, on her mood, on the role, on the weather, on the stars.

and you know what? it works. for most of the time. and then sometimes, it doesn’t, and there’s nothing to do but cry endless tears in her bed and be the most melodramatic person in the castle. alcohol tw | this happens when she’s drunk most of the time, to be honest --- penny is such a messy drunk. end of tw 

penny also developed a taste for fuckboys during this time. she wanted to feel loved, she wanted to be touched, to be desired, and part of her was desperate --- but that didn’t make it okay for guys to treat her that way, period. i would get into this more but i don’t feel comfy about doing that akdjssdf. 

when she turned fourteen, she got a sewing machine for her birthday. the next schoolyear, she dragged the thing behind her into the castle, unable to part from it after a summer of sewing. penny had always been interested in fashion, but now she was able to take it to the next level.

the dream to become a fashion designer grows and grows and grows, and penny is quite handy with the sewing machine, and her designs aren’t half bad, but of course it’s a stupid dream --- because penny doesn’t believe in herself, not yet at least.

post-graduation life ( 2026 - now )

penny graduated with one ambition only (see above) and no faith in herself. she became a barista, telling herself that she would work on her self esteem, that she would build herself up and become stronger and ready, that she would work on her portfolio and her design skills and that she would practice and work hard and ... that’s where she’s been for the past few years.

not much has changed, to be honest. penny still feels like that lost teenager, and in a certain sense she is --- she has just gained a slight bit of maturity, has moved out and has started working. her sense of self is still incredibly fragile, as is her self esteem, and while she’s trying to improve it, she just hasn’t found the right way to. 

she feels so stuck. she feels so frozen. she feels like she has no clue who the hell she is, and she doesn’t know what to do about changing that. another part of her doesn’t even want to be thinking about these things, and just wants to have some fun --- once penny graduated, she definitely started partying more sfksjdfhsdkjfh. party girls dont get hurt!!!!! and like, on one hand, that’s all completely fine, because this is the time for fun and self discovery, and who says you can’t do both? 

the timeclash kind of turned everything upside down. it did for everyone, i imagine, but that’s not really how penny sees it (woe is me! why does everything bad always happen to me!!). she’s so scared sakjdf. scared to see her parents and to be a Big Disappointment because she’s scared of the fact that there’s suddenly a war (like, what the fuck?), because she doesn’t want to fight, because she doesn’t even know how to fight!!! 

she’s a coward lmao, but a coward with Standards (lookin at you peter)

i mean, if it came down to it --- if she had to protect her friends or family --- she would fight, of course. she’s just not very good at combatical magic, or at strategy, or at anything war or rebellion-related, really (except for smuggling booze into hogwarts, i guess, but that’s something of the past). and that’s fine, if you ask me, but penny doesn’t think it is --- but that doesn’t mean she’s going to push herself to be braver or to do more

personality & details

jfc i rambled so much up there, time to get a bit more coherent up in this BITCH

penny is such a mess. i have a hard time talking about her sometimes because she’s so messy and because her mood and her energy fluctuate so much --- she can be high energy and extroverted one moment, and completely down and sad the other. 

did i ... project myself .... onto penny?     maybe. partly.

she’s a bit of a chameleon, really. she’s very adaptable and flexible and willing to change for the comfort of others, and she thus feels like she has a small sense of self. this is true, to a certain extent. i think she’s too focused on finding herself that she doesn’t see that she’s already found herself a little, that there are parts of her that are genuine. she’s so hard on herself, expects so much, she’s just ... completely blinded by her own doubts, tbh.

and she’s def a sad bitch and a messy bitch, but she’s so much fun. god. penny just loves laughing and being happy and doing fun and cute stuff! she likes good things! so much! she tries to be such an upbeat person and she can be and agh. i love her like that.

such a romantic. pls stop her. her idea of love makes her so blind and deaf and she always falls for dumb boys :( but skfjshdf she just loves romance! and romantic comedies! and romance novels (tho she struggles to focus on books properly, ngl) and just ... pink hearts and all that fuzzy stuff

when she got her job as a barista, all she thought was that it might just bring her the perfect coffee shop romance

she’s an idiot

she usually just goes by penny, but not because she dislikes the name penelope --- she thinks it’s a really neat name, to be honest (a bit poetic and mysterious), but penny has just been her nickname for so long that she doesn’t want to make people call her penelope. BUT she does want to be referred to as penelope when she gets famous, thank you very much.

regarding that: penny wants to be famous dskfjhdsf. a famous designer, of course --- but she just likes the idea of fame altogether as well!!! 

she takes that dream and ambition seriously, in a way. she plans to take serious steps soon (but she’s been saying that for years), always waiting until she feels ready to put herself out there. the idea of being rejected is just ... massive. the idea of not succeeding, of flopping, is so terrifying, that she prefers sticking with her dead-end job, for now. she has been sewing a lot after graduation, and i imagine she constructs a fair amount of her outfits herself (and does the same for friends), but that’s it, and she’s such a Coward about it

when she buys fashion magazines, she always gets two copies so she can use one for cutouts so she can make collages and moodboards

aEsThEtIc QuEeN!!!!

no really though, she has such a good sense for aesthetics. knows what colours and fabrics and prints mesh well together, always looks on Point, etcetera. 

idk what to say this intro is such a gd mess bc i wrote everything from scratch and i kept changing my mind about things and while penny is a Very old muse, i changed a LOT oops!!! 

#quantum intro #alcohol tw #anxiety tw

[mf-despair-queen]

Jigsaw Pieces - Chapter 4 - Mitch Rapp

Author: @mf-despair-queen​

Characters: Mitch Rapp/Reader

Word Count: 4,715

Summary: Mitch has changed since the in Ibiza. After some fearful words, Mitch disappears without notice. She’s determined to find him - no matter the cost.

Warnings: None Really?

Notes: JUST LET ME POST ALREADY TUMBLR. JFC

Eighteen Months Later…

Mitch changed.

After spending countless weeks in the hospital for his injuries, he was forced to undergo physical and mental rehabilitation. You couldn’t count how many times the doctors had called because he had awoken in the middle of the night screaming at the tops of his lungs from the trauma on the beach. You couldn’t count the number of times you saw him collapse from pain, the wound in his leg throbbing with unyielding agony. You couldn’t count the number of times you stood outside his hospital room, staring through the window at his broken figure, fingers running over the scar on his shoulder.

Yet, he never said a word of it to you. Not once did Mitch say anything about his pain or his distress, keeping a cold persona that made your skin crawl and your wrist ache.

After graduating with your masters, you moved down to Rhode Island with Mitch, despite his silent protests. He never actively pushed you away, but you couldn’t help feeling that he was trying to distance himself from you. Writing it off as part of his painful loss, you stayed with him, caring for him just as you always had.

Every night, you would show up at his apartment door, letting yourself in with the spare key he never complained that you had. He would be shirtless at his computer or in his bed, reading some book in which you weren’t sure the contents were. Every once in a while, you would find him knee deep in exercising, his fists pounding away at the punching bag hung up from his roof. His eyes, dark and mysterious, would glance up at you, never truly acknowledging your presence in his messy home. He would follow your form across the apartment until you found the kitchen, placing the groceries you got for him in his fridge, making dinner for the two of you.

He would grace you long enough to sit at the table for an awkward, silent meal, words rarely being shared. The clink of silverware against the plates filled the apartment, sometimes Mitch being preoccupied with a book. He never gazed at you for long, your eyes lefts to linger on his form, taking in the changes he had undergone in a year and a half.

His hair had grown out, the once shorted chocolate locks having grown out to something that was reminiscent of his high school days. The ends curled towards the roof unless they were wet with sweat or a shower. His luscious locks had lost some of its sheen, mirroring his depressed form. You only knew that it was the same fluffy locks he always had because he would sometimes fall asleep after dinner and you would sit with him, running your hands through his hair. It seemed to calm him, a wave of relaxation washing over you almost like you were able to feel his aura seeping through your system.

To add to the longer hair, the man had grown out his beard considerably. It felt like the first true sign that he was a man now, no longer the teen you went to highschool with. A thick brush of hair covered his lip, chin and cheeks, hiding the constellation of marks that were spread across his jawline. It saddened you that they were invisible to the naked eye as the hair got longer. Recalling the nights you could just say next to each other talking, you had counted the number of marks and moles he had strewn across his fair skin countless times, memorizing them without realizing it. Though, staring at him now, his slender digits stroking the length of his beard, tugging at the end strands

His body had changed. The fact that he strolled around his apartment shirtless helped you to admire his newly improved physique. His arms had bulked up from incessant training, the same veins you were used to running alone paled skin. His pecs had tightened, showing off his collarbone more pronouncedly. His shoulders had broadened with his increased muscle tone, his sheer strength of will resting on them. The thing that made you frown the most was the star that glared across the room on his shoulder - from either side - from the bullet wound he incurred. It was the bitter reminder of what had happened; it was the imperfection that seemed to keep him going.

The cold man sat across from you, you heart breaking at the sight. You never stopped caring; you never stopped loving him. If anything, you cared for him more than ever. From the time you saw him lying in the bed, broken and lost, you wanted to be there for him. And over time, as you watched him recover - watching him grow strong physically and mentally - you couldn’t help but feel your rapid heartbeat pounding against your ribcage, a clammy hand placed over it when you were alone. Your body burned, yearning to touch him, hold him and tell him things would be ok. You wanted to feel loved, even if it was a simple friendship once more.

The burning intensity that spread up your arm, however, worried you.

An uncomfortable knot typically sat inside you, something unsettling egging at your insides. Your mind screamed that something wasn’t right - that something was off. But what it was, you couldn’t say for sure. The only sign your had was the constant sizzle the ran through your veins, resembling adrenaline and determination that didn’t feel like your own. The source: the puzzle piece. Everything seemed to radiate from it and resting a hand over it at night, it felt like your skin was n fire under chilled, icy hands. Whenever your eyes fell upon Mitch, the burn seemed to increase, your thumping heart speeding up without the feeling of love.

Swallowing thickly one night, you placed your fork down with a loud clatter than caught Mitch’s attention for once. Dark whiskey eyes glanced up from his own food, a brow raising. Your hands fell into your lap, fingers fiddling together anxiously. Your eyes squeezed shut, unsure why you felt so nervous. It felt like it had been forever since you spoke to him. It felt like you hadn’t had a normal conversation with the Mitch you knew and loved. His gaze now felt like it was piercing your soul, your blood running cold. His warming presence now teetered over you, intimidating you with just a glance.

“Mitch,” you breathed, finally daring to look up at the man. “Are you ok?”

The question was honest, and you could see Mitch waver slightly at the sudden inquiry. His hand shook, the fork placed on the table slowly. His reddened lips pursed together, rubbing together in thought. His eyes narrowed before falling to the table, pondering whatever words he would spout off. Cocking your head to the side, you waited, no immediate answer coming. Your hand unconsciously rubbed at your irritated wrist, a sense of dread and anguish beginning to wash over you. Your lip quivered, eyes glistening with unshed tears you had withheld for years.

“Please,” you let out quietly, voice cracking under the weight of worry. “Please, Mitch. Just answer me honestly. I’m so worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” came his quick reply. His sultry voice made you shiver, the man returning his gaze to you across the table. A fire burned in his orbs. His hands curled into tightened fists, knuckles glowing a ghostly white from the tension. “I promise, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure-”

“Yes,” he cut you off, giving a small smile that screamed fakeness. “I promise, I’m fine. I will make things right, I swear.”

His words sparked a sense a distrust - a feeling you never thought you’d feel. Something felt off with the way he said it. Something wasn’t right because the mark imprinted in your skin burned hotter with determination. Yet, behind the fire was a cold wave that told you one thing.

Mitch lied about being fine.

But…

He wasn’t lying about making things right.

The words lingered in your mind ever since. You wanted to piece together what it meant. You were scared your friend - your crush - was going to do something he may regret one day. Nightmares plagued your mind of the reckless things he could attempt, the result always the same. He would lay on the ground in a pool of his own blood, the crimson liquid spreading out in every direction. Finally, it would settle around your feet, staining your bare feet. His lifeless eyes would bore into you, head giving a sickly crack as it tilted in the wrong direction in a zombie-like manner. His mouth would part, the same words making you scream yourself awake.

Why didn’t you help me? Why did you let me die?

In your state of panic, you began to use your days ff to tail the man. Taking note of his odd behavior as the fall and winter weather approached, you bundled in the warmest jacket you could find, a bean on your head and gloves on your hands while following him, keeping a safe distance so he wouldn’t pick up on your presence. His head occasionally would whip around, as if he felt eyes on him at all hours of the day.

You hid in a corner of the gym, sipping on a bottle of water while watching him wrestle and fist fight with the other men. Mitch seemed to be oblivious to your form watching over him, too focus on the punches he would throw, the kicks he laid and the aggressive grappling he had become fond of. One too many times, you saw how violent he would become, spinning his body around in a way that made his butt stick out in the black and red gym shorts. His legs would wind around a man’s torso, hands gripping at the shirt to begin choking the defenseless trainee. Only when they were red in the face and on the verge of passing out would Mitch be ripped away, his opponent gasping for air with the mumble of low curses under his breath.

The increased violence furthered your worry. Mitch could be a hard ass growing up, but before your eyes, this was new extreme. He seemed primed to kill, his sight gone red with one thought: fulfill the task at hand. Even in training, he seemed to be prepping for something, not caring who was in his way of becoming strong. His steps never tangled and his hands never wavered, the intent to end a life sickening.

Your head snapped up one cold afternoon, the straw of your coffee between your lips when you heard the yells of Carlos from the mats. The pen in your hand fell into your notebook, straightening up where you sat to see what was going on. Mitch was swiping his thumb across his nose, cheek red. His eyes had narrowed as Carlos’ booming voice carried.

“That’s it, Rapp. You’re done. Get out,” he told the sweaty man. Mitch glanced between the gym owner and the guy gasping for air on the ground, cursing out Mitch. Noticing he stood stagnant, Carlos’ voice raised, pointing at the door. “Get out!”

Mitch rolled his eyes, an air of annoyance exuding from him body. He reeked of it, not caring who knew he was pissed off. Ripping off the gloves, Mitch trotted to his belongings, removing the leg pads before pulling on his shoes. His hair stuck to his forehead, clothes clinging to his limbs. Whipping his jacket onto his shoulder, he stood from his seat, gym bag tight in hand.

“Have a nice fucking day,” was his bitter remark. You winced when the clang of the door banged open, Mitch disappearing into the cold while the door clattered shut.

Gathering your stuff, you rushed over to Carlos, giving him a sad smile. “I’m so sorry about him, Car. He’s just… he’s been on edge.”

Carlos sighed, rubbing his chin. “I know he’s your friend, but you can’t keep making excuses for him, Y/N.”

“What? I’m not-”

“Watch out for him,” Carlos said. “He’s going to get hurt with this reckless behavior. Or worse - he’ll get someone else killed. And I’d rather not hear that it’s you.”

You frowned, tightening your grip on your bag. You stared at the ground, biting at your lip. “He wouldn’t hurt me.”

“I don’t know about that anymore.”

You left without another word, following Mitch to his next destination: the gun range. With every step you took, all you could think was, He would never do that.  

Walking down the packed street, you slid past people as fast as you could, trying to keep pace with the ever vigilant man. Your hands were stuffed in the pockets of your jackets, only pulling out glove-clad hands when you moved by people while uttering low apologies. Your eyes never left the man through the gaps in the crowd, a considerable gap to keep from being noticed.

Through the entire process of tailing your friend, you missed the shutter of a camera going off, a man in black clicking photo after photo of Mitch as he hastily sped his way down the Rhode Island streets of gray brick and cobblestone. The circle with a distinct crosshair narrowed on the man for a flurry of pictures before turning to you. The man in black taking the photos stared at the image of you he had captured, clicking the radio on his ear.

“Candidate is on the move to the gun range. The girl is on his tail.”

“Does she know anything?”

“I don’t think so. I think she’s just concerned.”

“Well, make sure she doesn’t pick up on his habits. If he makes a move, we can’t drag her into this.”

“Yes, ma’am, Director Kennedy.”

~

You didn’t know that the last time you would would see Mitch was that day at the gun range. You had stood worried near your coworker who agreed to cover for you as you watched Mitch. It started out normal: shot after shot making your ears ring, even through the noise cancelling headphones you were designated to wear in the pit. Each shot that was fired nailed its target, the paper cut out of a human being displaying holes in the head and chest.

The noise picked up when he swapped guns, the hand gun exchanged for a high powered rifle that struck through the air with a sickening crack. The constant ‘boom, boom, boom’ made you wince, watching the slaughter of the target in progress. Dust was flying, bullets hitting the wall behind the target as it was torn to shreds. People stopped at stare at the man you called your longtime best friend, his form unwavering and unflinching.

You stood from your seat in panic when the alarm sounded, blaring into your mind clearly. Each step into the gravel Mitch did made you heart jump, clammy hands gripping at the bottom of your shirt. After swapping guns again, the even more high powered pistol firing off into the air, Mitch was attacking other targets. When he moved forward, the gun dangled at his side, the former athlete swapping to a handheld pistol as if he were finishing off a target after he ran out of bullets.

You wanted to run after hi, hugging him from behind to stop him. But Jeremy held you back, shaking his head. Sadly, you were forced to watch Mitch get escorted from the premises.

You didn’t follow him after that. You headed home, soaked in a bath, and never heard from him again. He seemed to vanish, leaving nothing more than a note on his fridge door that said he was on a trip and not to worry about him. The words didn’t calm you, your worry building each day that passed. Phone calls went unanswered, going straight to voicemail after a while. Texts went unread, no reply attempted. No sign of life lingered in his apartment, the mess the same very time you walked in, walking back out immediately after. Dust was gathering on the surfaces. Mitch’s landlord asked every time you walked in what was going on.

All you could tell him was you didn’t know before passing him the payments Mitch neglected while he was away.

Sitting at work one afternoon, Wendy, you seatmate, slide over to you, leaning on her elbows as she eyed you. Her long black hair draped across her shoulders, tips brushing against the tabletop. Her dark eyes narrowed on your form, bright red lips pursed together. Manicured nails drummed against the polished table, the click clack making your nerves rattle. Amidst all of your stress, you were on edge from lack of sleep. Hearing her chair squeak when he shifted into a different position to stare at the side of your face, you let out a deep sigh, turning to her.

“Can I help you, Wen?”

“You look like you haven’t slept again,” she pointed out. Gesturing to her own face, she pointed out the spot just under her eyes. “Your make up didn’t cover the bags. And you look like you haven’t eaten. You’ve lost color in your cheeks.”

“Is my makeup really that bad that you can tell?” you huffed, pulling a mirror from your purse.

“Yes and no,” she mused. “I just know you that well. So, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you mumbled.

“You’re a horrible liar.”

You sighed again, letting your head fall to your lap. You hand instinctively rubbed at your wrist, feeling a brief sting of pain course through your body. It wasn’t nearly as bad as some of the shockwaves you had encountered, but it was rattling whenever the sudden feeling took over. Wendy watched on, waiting for you to answer.

“I’m just worried,” you admitted, eyes darting to her for a second. “Mitch hasn’t been home in over a month. He was he was on a trip, but I haven’t been able to get a hold of him. I’m scared something happened. The last time he left like this, he was shot in Ibiza. He hasn’t been the same since and I’m afraid that he went off to do something reckless. That he’s on some suicide mission.”

You wanted to tell her more. To tell her about the burning sensation that flowed through your veins like fire. To confess about the feelings you felt that weren’t your own: the sense of dissatisfaction that happened days after Mitch vanished, the anger that made your skin crawl, the shocks of pain that ripped through your body nights ago while a sense of determination and focus kept your eyes open. But, you knew she would think you crazy. It was like telling someone you could hear voices. It wouldn’t end well to say something.

“All he left was a note, right? Saying he would be away?”

“Yeah,” you murmured. “I’m sure he left it because he knew I would stop by. I-”

“You always do. I know,” she mused. “You care a lot for that man but it feels like he doesn’t care back.”

“No, he does,” you said, almost as if trying to convince yourself too. “He’s been my friend forever. So, whatever’s been going on - what’s been going through his mind - I don’t think he wants me involved. That’s why I’m afraid he’s going to do something reckless. He won’t tell me so I don’t try to butt in. He knows I will. I feel like he has some death wish.”

“Well, he’s stupid if he keeps pushing you away.”

“I…” you started, letting out a choked sigh. You were fighting back tears. “I don’t know why he’s fighting so hard against me. I know he’s been hurt and he lost Katrina, but all I’ve ever done is been there for him. And he keeps himself so sheltered now. I don’t understand what happened or why he’s being like this. Everything changed, Wendy…”

Wendy rubbed your back, giving a sad smile. “He’s a male. Males do dumb shit.”

“You can say that again.”

“As much as I hate the guy for making you feel so shitty, I want to say that he has good intentions. If you were as good of friends as you say, he must be doing this for a reason. He kept himself away maybe because he doesn’t want you to get hurt by something?” Wendy grinned, trying to lighten to mood. “Or, maybe deep down, he just loves you so much that he is afraid you will reject him.”

You let out a bitter laugh, unable to smile fully. Maybe he does care and he’s pushing me away because of it. Because of Katrina…

“How about you take the rest of today off?” Wendy proposed. Your brow rose at your friend, silently asking what she was talking about. “I will take care of the work you have to do today. You should go to his apartment and snoop around.”

“Snoop around?” you inquired.

“Have you ever actually looked around since he left?” she asked. When you shook your head no, she continued. “Maybe there is some clues around for where he went to what is going on.”

“Isn’t that an invasion of privacy?”

“You have a key to his apartment. It’s not like you are breaking in,” she claimed. “As far as I can see, it’s perfectly fine for you to look around.”

“I don’t know…”

“Y/N,” she cut you off. Her hands took yours, smoothing over the tops. “I know you care about him. I know you are worried. So, figure out where he went. It’s the only way to put your mind and heart at ease. Just look around. Maybe there is something there you never noticed. Something that’ll tell you what you need to know. Anything that helps, I want you to look for.”

You pouted for a second before nodding. “Fine.”

“Good,” she grinned. “Text me and keep me updated if anything happens.”

“I will. Thank you, Wen.”

You rushed from the office, headed straight for Mitch’s desolate apartment. Mr. Hazir nodded at you when you walked in, rushing up the stairs to the second floor where the apartment sat. Your hand shook with the key, making you stop to take a deep breath before sliding the key into the lock and twisting. The door clicked, squeaking open as you entered. The dark apartment made you grimace, the smell of old, sweaty clothes giving off a distinct musk wafting up your nose.

Your bag was left by the door as you wandered the apartment, searching for anything that may give you a clue to his unknown location. The punching bag swung lazily when your hand brushed against it, the chain rattling against the hook with its strained weight. His work out gear sat discarded on his ruffled bed sheets, training gloves and pads full frontal vision for you to see. Dust collected on your fingers when they were swiped along any surface, reassuring to his vacancy.

Sitting on the bed, you flicked your eyes through the apartment, straining to see if there was anything out of place that you weren’t used to seeing. “Where did you go?” you asked aloud, receiving no answer back. You sighed, laying back on his bed, feeling the cold sheets and blankets under your hand. “What are you up to, Mitch?”

Your throat tightened with unshed sobs and tears, choking back the sorrow you felt. You forced yourself to sit up, going through his drawers to find something - anything. Your mouth dropped at the sight of the multiple books on the Arabic language, culture and history you never truly realized he was reading. Balls of paper were in the waste bin near his bed, each one being a different article about the same person: Adnan Al-Mansur. The last article you picked up made you body quiver.

It was an news article about the attack in Ibiza.

“Mitch…” you whispered out, biting your lip.

Moving to his computer, your heart sunk further into your stomach. The keyboard was covered with a transparent keyboard with the Arabic alphabet. More books and papers were piled on either side of his laptop, adding to the confusion of what he was doing. Powering on the laptop, you were met with his login information, the password unknown. You sighed hopelessly, not wanting to attempt to break in. Instead, your fingers brushed across the keyboard, feeling warmth along your tips despite the cold plastic it felt. Your fingers moved like you were typing unsure what you were saying.

It just felt natural.

“What have you been doing?” you asked yourself. “I don’t get it. You’ve been learning Arabic, but for what?” You felt dread seeping in, not wanting to believe the following question. “Were you planning revenge on Mansur, the man who murdered Katrina?”

Nausea began to set in. Your stomach twisted with unanswered questions. You needed to escape before you spewed your lack of food onto the hardwood floor. The chair clattered backwards in your haste, hitting the floor with a loud thump. Your heel clacked against the floor while rushing for the front door, stilling before you got there. Your body froze, eyes directed at the closet that hung ajar.

You tried to push it closed, but something impeded it. Swallowing thickly, you pulled it open, letting your arms drop to the sides. Pasted to the inside of the door were pictures of Mansur, slices and cuts ebbed into the photos. The Wooden door had been punctured, but by what? The knife that still sat imbedded in Mansur’s forehead. The black handle poked straight out, blade sharp and stuck in the wood. The pit in your stomach grew at what you saw, the worst becoming reality.

You ran away, not looking back at the evidence of insanity and maniacal vengeance that was present in that room. You didn’t want to admit what you knew. You didn’t want to believe that Mitch was out for revenge.

Mitch was on a suicide mission to kill Adnan Al-Mansur.

~

The room was dark. The only sound was the clicking of fingers against a keyboard. The multiple screens that were perched along the wall were the only source of light, eyes flittering between the codes that appeared before them. The white letters against a black screen flashed rapidly across the screen until the stopped with coordinates to the destination in question. The eyes blinked, blinded from the constant staring at the bright screens in the dark hour.

It was after midnight.

But the chair sliding against the floor was loud, feet padding across the room to find the first bag possible. Clothes were shoved inside, hygiene products shoved into a small pouch on the inside. A passport sat on the bed, ready for use. A hand grabbed the phone that was connected to the computer, dialling a number rarely used.

It was cheating to do so, but you had no choice. Years in a computer science field and you were well adept in the task of breaking into someone’s phone, tracking the location of its whereabouts. The task was illegal, so you rarely did it. But when Mitch changed, you knew you needed a way to keep an eye on him.

Zipping the bag shut, the phone pressed to your ear, you spoke to the person on the other end confidently.

“I need the first available ticket overseas. Preferably the fastest travel.”

“Where is the destination?”

Your eyes fell on the computer before swinging the bag onto your back, backing towards the door. One hand rubbed the jigsaw piece on your wrist, feeling the determination that spurred from not one, but two sources: yours and the unknown presence that lingered around, giving you a sense of comfort that came from something, or someone, else. You were going to him. If he was still alive - you would be there. Even if he didn’t want you there, you couldn’t abandon your friend. Your mouth parted to answer, accepting what you had to do before answering.  

You would save Mitch, one way or another.

“Istanbul, Turkey.”

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