#wait HAHAHA she sleeps w her makeup on
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The Only One - A Virgil H/C Tumblr Ask
Summary: Virgil has a secret that the Light Sides and Thomas are completely unaware of, but the Dark Sides unfortunately aren’t. The Dark Sides are spending more and more time in the main area of the Mindscape now that Thomas and the Light Sides are trying to accept them as part of the famILY. What does this mean for Virgil?
This is an ask that Tumblr ate, so to the anon that requested it, I’m so sorry if you’re only seeing this now!! I actually really enjoyed writing this!!
A/N: If you liked this, please reblog. It is the only way to help this fic reach a wider audience. Tumblr ate most of my fics that I know I posted here, which makes me very sad for a lot of reasons, one of the biggest being that the love and comments and tags that folks showed this fic is gone into the ether. I’ll be making a masterlist to help prevent this from happening again.
TW: Trans guy Virgil, gender dysphoria, transphobia, deadnaming (kind of), misgendering, minor physical violence, blood, knives, Unsympathetic Deceit, Unsympathetic Remus, bullying, harrassment, forced undressing, crying, angst w/ a happy ending.
Word Count: 3367
AO3 here!
Fic Masterlist here!
Virgil curled his hands in the thick quilt on his bed. He’d encountered Deceit and Remus of all Sides that day and had hid in his room ever since. He couldn’t even be bothered to replace his shirt; he’d just thrown the tattered remains on the floor and crawled under the covers in shock, trembling with silent tears going down his face.
“Kiddo! Dinner’s ready!”
Virgil swallowed, trying to get past the lump in his throat. “Sorry Pat, I’m not feeling well,” he called back, voice gravelly.
Patton spoke more softly this time. “Oh sweetie, I’m sorry to hear that! Do you want me to bring you some soup or water?”
Despite his trauma, he smiled through his tears. He’s too good for me. “No thanks Pat, I think I just want to sleep right now.”
“Okay! Let me know if there’s anything I can do!”
“Will do.”
Virgil heard Patton move away from the door, and he sighed.
I should probably clean up the wounds. Don’t want them to get infected.
Virgil shakily stood and walked over to his bathroom. He winced. This is bad. This has to be one of the worst times. Thin cuts marred his skin where Deceit and Remus had used a knife to cut his shirt off. Thin lines of blood trailed down from each wound. Virgil sighed and went about disinfecting them.
You know they’ve been more active in the main Mindscape, you know they’d see you wearing a binder. Why did you have to be so fucking stupid? You could have just worn your huge hoodie like you used to and it would have been fine. They already beat the shit out of you once you changed your voice in the Subconscious, did you really want another beating that badly?
Virgil bit his lip as a sob forced its way past the lump in his throat and more tears streamed down his face. Soon, he’d expertly cleaned and bandaged his wounds and he started working on cleaning the tear tracks and makeup from his face. He cursed the Dark Sides for knowing to aim for parts of his body that would be covered up by clothes; if he’d been unable to hide the bruises, he wouldn’t have a choice but to tell the Light Sides.
The Light Sides won’t believe you. What, the Dark Sides they’re working on accepting just so happen to be evil transphobes who hurt you? And you’re the only Dark Side who’s not an asshole? Give me a break.
Virgil bit back tears. He was tired of crying over the Dark Sides hurting him. And if he told the Light Sides, they’d start asking questions that he wasn’t ready to answer. It was bad enough that they’d “outed” him as a previous Dark Side, causing their loving, wonderful Host to look at him with disgust.
Virgil shook his head. Thinking about that isn’t helping me calm down. He splashed a bit of water on his face and finished cleaning off his makeup. He curled back up in bed, hissing through his teeth at the new injuries, and resigned himself to a night of restless sleep.
/////
Virgil decided against wearing his new shirt and hoodie, instead opting for his old black ensemble. He felt like crying without a binder, but he also didn’t want to lose another one to Deceit’s knife and he was pretty sure a couple of his ribs were cracked.
Virgil made his way downstairs for breakfast, miserable. He’d put on extra black eyeshadow to hide the bags under his eyes and hopefully to draw attention away from the fact that his eyes were slightly red.
He was shuffling into the kitchen when he froze. Deceit is here, why is he here, why is he here, why is he-
“How are you feeling kiddo?” Patton asked.
Virgil shrugged keeping eye contact with him and resolutely avoiding the other Dark Side. “Fine. Better.”
“That’s good! I thought that we should get to know the Dark Sides better, so I invited them over for breakfast! Although Remus didn’t show up, something about being on a ‘deodorant cleanse’?”
“Yes, Virgil, it’s so important to get to know each other better, don’t you think?” Deceit purred.
“I know you well enough!” Virgil spat back.
“Now Virgil, give him a chance,” Patton said, disapproval coloring his voice.
Deceit looked hurt. “Yes Virgil, why aren’t you giving me a chance? I’m trying here, and you’re just being mean.”
Dammit, Deceit can act well if he tries.
Deceit looked at Virgil with a sick smirk.
Virgil narrowed his eyes at Deceit. “Fuck. You.” and sank back into his room, his stomach cramping from hunger. He curled up on his bed and hugged his pillow, angry tears coming out this time.
I just wanted food! And now Patton thinks I’m an asshole! And the others will too! Fuck!
A few hours later, he couldn’t ignore the nausea anymore and decided to venture downstairs. He walked up to his door and pressed his ear against it, listening for any indication there were Sides walking around. Hearing nothing, he slowly opened his door and looked both direction.
Finally. I need-
“Doom and Gloom!”
Fuck.
Virgil turned his head and looked at Roman. He seemed excited about something or other.
“I have this wonderful new project! For Halloween! You’ll love it Virge!”
Deceit and Remus appeared behind Roman, smirking.
“Virgil? Who’s she, never heard of her,” Deceit sneered.
Roman jumped, but relaxed quickly. Virgil ground his teeth.
“I thought it was Veronica? Or no wait, Vanessa?”
Virgil glared at them. “That’s never been my name,” he growled.
“Oh, my mistake!” Deceit laughed, daintily putting a hand to his chest. He smiled. “Violet.”
“Hahaha! She’s a girl!” Remus shrieked, pointing at Virgil. Roman just looked confused.
Virgil held himself back and closed his eyes. He inhaled, opened his eyes, turned around, and walked downstairs. He heard Patton humming in the kitchen and smiled.
He entered the kitchen and opened the pantry to grab some cereal.
“Hey Virge!”
Virgil smiled at him and sent him a two-finger salute. Patton let him get milk in his cereal and start eating before he spoke up.
“Honey, I think we need to talk about what happened with Deceit this morning.”
Virgil’s stomach nearly revolted. It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s no big deal. “Yeah? What about it?”
Patton sighed. “The way you spoke to Deceit… Is there something else going on?”
Virgil whipped his head towards the fatherly trait. He’d been expecting admonishment and chastising, a demand to go apologize to Deceit. Instead, Patton’s eyes were full of concern. “I… what?”
Patton tilted his head. “I know you have a longer history with the Dark Sides than we do, and it sounded like there were things that weren’t being said out loud.” At Virgil’s baffled expression, he continued. “You can trust me, sweetie. Is there something going on?”
Virgil stared at his cereal bowl, fighting back tears. He moved the cereal bits around with his spoon.
I can’t lie to Patton, he’s just trying to help.
Virgil decided to tell the truth. “I can’t say. I’m sorry.”
Patton sagged slightly at that. “Is Deceit stopping you?”
Virgil chewed on his lip. “No, it’s my own fucking fault.”
“Do you feel unsafe around us?”
Virgil jumped at the question. “No! I just,” Virgil’s voice choked off. “I can’t say,” he whispered brokenly.
“Oh sweetie, do you want a hug?” Patton asked.
“S-sorry, not right now.” The thought of Patton wrapping his arms around his body, especially without his binder, was too much.
“Okay baby, let me know. Is there anything I can do?”
“No. I’m sorry.” And with that Virgil broke. He dropped his spoon in his bowl and put his head in his hands, letting out the sobs he’d been holding in.
“Oh! Virgil, it’s okay! It’ll be okay!”
Virgil just shook his head.
“Would it be okay if I rubbed your back?”
Virgil nodded. He won’t be touching my front, that’s okay.
Patton immediately put a hand on Virgil’s back and began lovingly rubbing it.
“I w-want to s-s-say, but I c-c-can’t!!”
“Oh baby, I’m so sorry. It’ll be okay,” Patton soothed, confused but beginning to understand that something was going on between the Dark Sides and Virgil and it wasn’t anything good. For now, he focused on calming Virgil down enough so he could eat. Eventually, Virgil’s cries petered out.
Patton kept rubbing small circles into his kiddo’s back. “There you go. Feeling better?”
Virgil nodded and wiped his face on his sleeve. He smiled at Patton shyly. “Sorry ‘bout that. Just freaking out for no reason.”
Patton frowned. “It doesn’t sound like no reason.”
Virgil waved him off. “It’s fine Pat. I’m probably just hungry.”
Patton knew it wasn’t just hunger, but he also knew not to push the issue any more. He grabbed a bowl of cereal for himself and chatted with Virgil, trying to make him feel comfortable again. He was happy that by the end of the meal, Virgil was much more relaxed and didn’t seem like he was about to burst into tears. Virgil cleaned his dishes and and sent Patton a two-finger salute as he sank out. Patton let his face fall once Virgil was out of the kitchen. What is going on with my sweet boy?
/////
The Sides all rose up when Thomas summoned them for the next video. Virgil had his normal hoodie on and zipped up and prayed no one could tell that he wasn’t wearing a binder.
“Hey Virge! You cold?” Thomas asked.
Virgil nodded, Deceit giggling at the lie.
Thomas turned to the camera and started filming.
“What is up everybody?! Today, I’m dealing with an important topic: when to come out.”
Remus giggled. “Like Virgil! She-” Deceit elbowed him, cutting him off.
Thomas frowned in confusion at Remus. “I mean, yeah, he told me he was a Dark Side, and that’s what I wanted to address this video.”
Deceit summoned a bowl of popcorn and crunched loudly, making sure Virgil saw the shit-eating grin on his face. Remus just snacked on deodorant.
Virgil paled and felt cold all over. His heart was pounding and there was a lump in his throat. Thomas turned to him.
“Virgil, I… I just wanted to say that I was surprised, and I still love you. I don’t care that you were a Dark Side before. You’re working with me now, and with the others, and who you are now matters way more than who you thought you had to be in the past.”
Virgil was shocked. He felt tears springing to his eyes. “You… you really mean that?” he whispered, incredulous.
Thomas smiled. “Yeah, I do.”
Virgil sagged in relief and smiled, a single tear running down his cheek.
“That’s totally how I expected that was going to go,” Deceit complained.
Remus just threw his deodorant on the ground in frustration.
Thomas ignored them. “Do you want a hug Virge?”
Before Virgil could panic and make up an excuse, Remus started shrieking with laughter. “She can’t! Then you’ll feel her tits!”
Virgil felt all of the blood leave his body.
Thomas just tilted his head in confusion at Remus. “What?” He looked at Virgil. “Virge? What’s going on?”
Virgil started backing into the wall and hyperventilating, new kinds of tears making their way down his face.
He knows, he knows, he just got over me keeping one big secret from him, this is a coming out video, he’s going to find out, he’s going to hate me, they’re all going to hate me, they’re going to send me back to the Dark Side, he hates me, they hate me…
“Come now Virgil,” Deceit purred. Virgil jumped when he and Remus appeared in front of him on the landing. “Let’s be fully honest with our Host, that’s what he would want, isn’t that right?”
Remus and Deceit grabbed Virgil and started pulling down the zipper. He cried out and thrashed in their hold until they were pulled away. He didn’t notice who helped him, he just collapsed on the landing and curled into a defensive ball in the corner, shaking like a leaf and hyperventilating.
“Virgil? Can you hear me?”
Virgil flinched and whined at the proximity of Logan’s voice.
“I can’t, I don’t want to, please don’t make me, don’t hurt me, please…” he whimpered.
Everyone’s hearts shattered.
Patton came up to the landing and leaned against the steps. “It’s okay sweetie, no one’s going to hurt you, I promise. No one’s going to force you to do anything. Can you try to breathe with me baby?”
Virgil let out another cry but nodded. Patton counted with him, occasionally glancing back at the Dark Sides. Roman had the Dark Sides cornered, sword pointed directly at them, making sure they wouldn’t hurt Virgil. After almost twenty rounds of breathing exercises, Virgil’s muscles began to relax from the cramped position they were in.
Thomas knelt in front of the stairs. “Virge?” he began cautiously. “Are you okay? What happened?”
Virgil’s breath hitched. “I’m sorry Thomas.”
“Buddy, no! You got attacked and got scared.”
Deceit laughed. “That’s not all Thomas! Go on, tell our Host what else you’ve been lying about!”
Thomas frowned at Deceit and looked back at Virgil. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. This… God, this has to be the worst time to be making a coming out video. Are you hurt at all?”
Remus laughed. “Awwwww, is the little girl hurt?”
“SILENCE!!” Roman roared.
Virgil flinched, staring at the Dark Sides with wide eyes.
“Virgil, hey look at me,” Thomas called softly. Virgil turned wide eyes to Thomas, the Host almost breaking at the tears he saw. “It’s okay buddy.”
Remus wasn’t done. “Take off her shirt!!”
Roman took a step towards them. “SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL RUN YOU THROUGH!!”
There must have been something in Roman’s expression, because the jeers stopped.
“Honey-” Patton began. He was cut off with a sharp inhale from Virgil as he laid a hand on the anxious Side’s back. He quickly withdrew his hand.
“I’m sorry baby! Are you hurt?”
Virgil sniffled. “N-not too bad.”
Thomas’ face twisted in anger, and the two Dark Sides sank out. Roman sheathed his sword after a moment and walked over to the stairs, worried about his anxious friend.
Logan spoke up. “Virgil, may I look at your wounds?”
“No!” he yelled, curling up defensively and hugging his hoodie closer to himself.
“I will respect your choices Virgil. However, I believe that it would be in your best interest to allow me to assess your injuries to ensure nothing else is going on and to help prevent infection.”
Virgil shook his head. “They’ve done worse, this is nothing, I’ll be fine.”
“They’ve done this before?!” Roman growled.
Virgil curled in on himself and nodded.
Patton shifted a little closer. “How have they hurt you in the past?”
Virgil’s breath hitched. “Th-they’ve beat the shit out of me when I changed my voice. I u-used to have a higher pitched voice and I didn’t like it. And when I changed how I dressed they beat me up for that too.”
“Oh Virge,” Patton breathed. “Do you know why they did it?”
“B-because…” Dammit, I’ve really got to say it, don’t I? “I-I’m a trans guy.” Once he started, he couldn’t seem to stop. “The D-Dark Sides h-hated me for it, s-said I w-w-was a girl, but I’m not! I swear I didn’t l-lie to you T-Thomas!! I just, w-with how you’d t-taken the news of me being o-one of them in the p-p-past, I was scared you’d m-m-make me go b-back to them and I c-c-can’t…” Virgil dissolved into tears, unable to form any more sentences.
Thomas jumped forward and hugged Virgil close to him. Virgil curled into his Host and cried.
“God, Virge, I’m so sorry. I’d never hate you for being trans! Whatever I did to make you think that, I’m so sorry. And if they’re hurting you, I’d never want you in that position.”
Thomas held Virgil until his cries petered out.
They deserve to know. “Th-they’d cut off m-my clothes.”
Thomas froze and tightened his arms.
“They what.” Patton said, voice flat with blinding fury.
“Th-they w-wouldn’t go farther th-than that!” Virgil added quickly. “They’d j-j-just cut off m-my clothes t-to try to p-prove I’m a girl. Th-that’s why I’m n-not w-wearing a b-b-binder today. Th-they cut up my l-last one with a knife a-and hurt m-my ribs.”
“Oh baby…”
Logan adjusted his necktie nervously. “I… Virgil, I am so sorry they hurt you. I believe I understand another reason you don’t want me to look at your injuries. May I ask you some questions instead?”
Virgil bit his lip and nodded, still curled against Thomas.
“Does it hurt to breathe?”
Virgil nodded, and Thomas loosened his grip slightly.
“On a scale of one to ten, how bad is your pain when you breathe?”
“Um, like a 5? It’s not too bad.”
“I am glad to hear that. Are you experiencing any difficulty breathing?”
“Not really, no?”
“Alright. Let me know if you do. Would you consent to stay with one of us for a few nights until we’re certain there aren’t any other ill-effects?”
“Y-you don’t mind?”
Roman frowned and tilted his head. “Why would we mind?”
“…I dunno.”
Logan sighed. “We want to help you Virgil. Please tell us what is bothering you.”
Virgil hid his face in Thomas’ chest, muffling his words. “They s-said I was gross.”
Roman actually snarled while Patton gasped and Logan and Thomas’ faces hardened.
Thomas closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He opened them and kissed the top of Virgil’s head as he held the trembling man.
“You’re not gross Virge.”
“Y-you’re just saying that.”
Logan hesitantly placed a hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “Virgil, I am not one to mince feelings.” Virgil huffed a laugh at that. “You are objectively not “gross.” Remus and Deceit are wrong.”
Virgil lifted his head and looked at Logan. “Promise?”
“I promise.”
Virgil relaxed against Thomas. “Can I… Can I wear my old stuff until my ribs heal? That hoodie’s bigger, it helps with… yeah.”
“Of course you can kiddo!” Patton rushed out. “If it makes you feel better, go for it!”
Virgil frowned and looked at the Light Sides and Thomas suspiciously. “You’re all taking this… really well,” he said slowly. “I’m the only one like this. Not even one of the other Dark Sides is like this. Aren’t you freaked out?”
“Kiddo, no!”
“One’s gender would never make me forsake them!”
“You identify as a man, therefore you are a man.”
Thomas hadn’t spoken yet, and Virgil felt tears in his eyes.
“Virgil, buddy,” Thomas began. “I… I fucked up, didn’t I?” Thomas’ voice grew thick with tears. “I somehow made you think I think less of trans people.” Thomas buried his face in Virgil’s hair to hide his tears. “I-I’m sorry I ever made you feel that way. I promise I’d never think any less of you. You’re still my facet, my Virgil, and this is just one cool thing about you.”
Virgil pressed into Thomas. “I don’t know why I had to manifest this way. There’s no reason for it!”
Thomas rubbed Virgil’s arm. “We may never know why, and that’s okay. We don’t need to in order to accept you and love you.”
Virgil closed his eyes, exhausted. “Thank you, Thomas. I shouldn’t have doubted you.”
Thomas squeezed Virgil as tightly as he dared. “You were scared.” Thomas smiled before he sang. “It’s okay. We’re your best pals!”
Virgil snorted. “Dork.”
“Damn gay.”
“Don’t you mean- oh, I get it.”
Patton and Thomas giggled.
Roman stepped closer. “Virgil, would you like to stay in my room tonight? The bed’s big enough to fit all of us.”
Virgil looked up at Roman and smiled. “Sure Princey.”
Later that evening, when Virgil is surrounded by the Light Sides, he smiles to himself.
The Light Sides might be clueless morons, but I guess I could get used to this.
#sanders sides#thomas sanders#virgil sanders#deceit sanders#tw deceit#remus sanders#roman sanders#logan sanders#patton sanders#thvi#lamp#calm#fanfic#fic#fanfiction#ts sides#knives#blood#crying#transphobia#deadnaming#misgendering#panic attacks#dysphoria
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Criminal Minds-The Good Ol Days
Tagging: @marvelfanlife, @itsmeedee, @cynbx, @jaqren, @gabriellewritermua, @princesswagger15, @screaminginbi, @tleighstone12, @cosmicmelaninflower
A collaboration fic with @princesswagger15
Chapter 7-Hangover
Elle was getting hammered, drinking tons of beer to the point that she was loosening herself at the party along with the others. She was partying so hard to the point that she ran out and puked on the nearest tree she could find. After pacing herself, she took the time to catch her breath as she tries to recover. She then got up and looked around to see her surroundings, with her vision all a blur. She saw several couples making out, a person smoking a cigarette. She shielded her eyes from the light and continued to look around and saw a couple arguing. Although her vision was still a haze, she could recognize from the sound of her voice that it was Meadows who was arguing with a man, whether it was a guest or a boyfriend, the sight of her slapping him when he tries to win her over prompted her to snicker.
“Poor girl.” She looked away, only to notice the young man leaving, where she sees a person in a coat walking past Meadows carrying a luggage. She then squint her eyes as she tries to get a better look at the person. Due to her hazy vision, she couldn’t get a exact look at the person, though judging by the coat, the type of suitcase and body language, she sensed that it wasn’t a student, possibly a teacher perhaps. The real question is why carry a suitcase this late at night, especially one that’s travel sized. Curious, she then decides to follow the person.
At the same some, Kate, was starting to feel a bit more relaxed as she briefly laughed and chatted with others. Although not as wasted and hungover as her friends, she started to feel a bit light-headed and decided to call it a night and leave the party when she sees Elle walking out, still feeling tipsy. Worried about her, she decides to follow her.
In the meantime, Elle continues to follow the person, still curious about the suitcase he or she is carrying. She continues to follow the person all the way to the teacher’s parking lot when she accidentally steps on a twig. Panicking, she hides behind a car as the person looks around. Just then, the person’s phone rang. Elle carefully tilt her head to the side as she tries to hear what the person is saying.
“Hello David? Yeah, I got everything. What do you want me to do with them? In the cabin? Okay, okay, I’ll be there.” The person then looked around to see no one else present in the parking lot before continuing. “No, I uh made sure that I wasn’t being followed. Okay, I’ll see you there.” The person hung up as they opened the back door of a gray Toyota camry car, placing the suitcase in and closing and getting inside. Elle cautiously stood up as the person drives away. As she slowly walks back, she suddenly felt a hand touching her shoulder.
“What the-” She gasped and turned around to see Kate standing right behind her. “Jesus Christ Kate. What the hell?”
“What are you doing here?”
She stammered, motioning her hand. “I-I was, I was just, I-” She sighs. “I-I thought I just saw something, so I guess I ended up here.”
Kate crossed her arms.“What did you see?”
“A person in a gray coat carrying a large suitcase and I could’ve sworn I saw something peeking out of it. She was even calling someone named ‘David’”
She cupped her friend’s face. “Elle, you’re drunk, maybe you were just seeing things.”
“No, no. I swear what I’m saying is true. A person was here and was calling someone, saying to meet at the ‘usual place’.”
“My god Elle. Why were you even following the person? It could be a professor that was just going home.”
“B-b-but I-”
“Elle, just leave it. Now come on, we should get going. The party wiped me out.” Kate then grabs her hand, only for Elle to pull back before she could touch her wrist.
“You know what? Forget it.”
“Elle I-”
“I said forget it! Sorry to even bother telling you.” She turned her back away. “Besides, I’m drunk anyway.” She then walks away, feeling hurt. All Kate could do was look on, helplessly. She may be drunk, but she might have a point, if only she could’ve took the time to hear what she had to say.
------------------------------------------
The next day, everyone were completely wiped out from the party. The building reeked of alcohol, cigarettes and vomit. Pieces of clothing were discarded everywhere on the floor, hanging on the ceiling and even on the bushes. The next morning was a mess and everyone would suffer the consequences of last night.
JJ woke up to the sounds of her alarm clock buzzing. All she could remember was walking back to the dorm, still drenched and collapsing onto the bed. The first thing she saw was Ashley hovering above her.
“JJ……..” Her voice echoed. She lift her eyes up as the sight of her roommate still swirls around her. Still, Ashley kept trying to wake her up.
“Hmm…..” JJ said, still trying to adjust to the light.
“JJ…...JJ! Wake up!”
“HOLY SHIIT!” She jerked up the bed, starting Ashley. She then looked around to find herself back in her dorm and saw that her alarm clock was still ringing. She then turned her alarm clock off.
“A-are you alright?”
“I-I don’t know….. I guess.” She catched her breath. “What happened? What time is it?”
“It’s uh……….. 11:35 am.”
“Wait what?” She then picked up her clock and looked at the time. “Crap!” She clutched her head.
“Didn’t Hotch say that we were supposed to meet today?”
“Yeah…….shit, I overslept.” She then smelled her clothes and hair. “And I smell like chlorine…….fuck.”
“Well, it’s almost noon and Hotch told us that we have to meet by twelve.”
“Damn, do you think I’ve got time for a shower?”
“I don’t know.” Ashley then leaned over to sniff her friend. “Ugh, you probably need to take a two hour shower.”
“Oh shit, I don’t have two hours, I have less than twenty minutes to get ready. What should I do?”
“Change bra, panties, shirt and pants. Put your hair in a ponytail.”
“What about the smell? Do you have any perfume?”
“Yea I should, just look on my table.” Ashley goes through her drawer, taking out bottle of lavender scented perfume. “How’s this?”
“Ooooo gimme.” JJ snatched the bottle from her hands as she frantically grabs random pieces of clothing. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now hurry.”
“On it!”
-------------------------------------
A couple of hours ago, Matt was in a deep sleep, still enjoying that sweet and steamy night of passion he had with Kristy last night. He tossed and turned, recalling each moment of the hot sex. Just then, he suddenly woke up from his long and peaceful slumber to see Hotch staring down, smirking at him.
“Good morning sleeping beauty.”
“H-hi Hotch.” He rubbed his eyes.
“Had a nice rest?”
“Uhh yea I did.” Matt said as he covered himself as best as he could. Still, he couldn’t help but notice his roommate giving him a smug look. “Uh Hotch, why are you staring at me like that?”
“Oh nothing, just hear you moan Kristy’s name in your sleep but you know, no big deal…” Hotch looked at Matt expectantly.
“W-wha wait what?” He stammered. “I was?”
Hotch nods. “Did you and Kristy…….you know what last night??”
Matt then looks away from Hotch, trying to get away from his searching gaze. “Uh…...I have no idea what you’re talking about-”
“Matt.......”
“Uh.......yea this isn't going to be easy to explain, is it?”
“HAHAHAHAHAH N O P E ! !”
“Yep, figured.” He then took a deep breath and sat upright on his bed. “Alright, it’s true, we fucked. In my car.”
Just then, Hotch cracked open a large smile and laughed. “Oh man, I knew it, I knew it!”
“W-wait a second, you knew?”
He scoffs. “I mean, I had a feeling you did, and it wasn’t just hearing you moan her name in your sleep.” Just then, Hotch stood up as he pulls out a pair of blue panties that was partially ripped. “I found this peeking out in your jacket pocket.” He then tossed them to Matt. “And I also saw a couple of hickeys on your neck. Seems like you two had a hell of a night.”
“In fairness, Kristy and I are in a relationship now. It’s not our fault that we decided to make it official by getting it on in my car.”
“Well, I hope you know that you need to hide that hickey before we go out today.”
“What? Cause I'll be teased at by the others? We were literally in our underwear before. I don't think there's anything more humiliating than that.”
“Hmm, all I can say is that with the moaning, the panties and hickeys, Kristy sure isn't disappointed is she?”
“No, she wasn't…” Matt said smirking and looking down at his hands.
“HAHAHA! NICE”
“Yes, she was…... she was rather........impressed.”
“Woow. I don’t know what to say, but damn Matt, you've got game.”
He chuckled. “Thanks.” He then got up from the bed and took off his pants. “Well... What about you Hotch? Have you and Hailey......?” He asked as he puts on a pair of jeans.
“I uhhhhhhhhhh...................................................................................no…we didn't.”
“WHHHAAAAAATTTT??!”
“Yea I know.”
“Why?!”
“I don’t know, I guess we weren't.............ready.”
“Oh okay.”
“Yea” Hotch croaked.
Matt then continues to find a shirt, but to no avail, given the hickeys on his neck. “Well.... Do you have any idea on how I can hide the hickey?”
“I don’t know, I don't have makeup.”
“Hmmm......Maybe we can ask Garcia?”
“Oh hohohohohohoho, you really want Garcia to know about that special little hickey you got on your neck because of you and Kristy fucking in a car yesterday?”
“I DONT SEE YOU GIVING ANY FUCKING IDEAS! HAHAH DO YOU WANNA HELP ME?”
Hotch scratched his head. “S-s-say you got bit by a mosquito?” He then shrugs his shoulders at Matt.
He sighs. “Oh Hotch. No offense but you're no help to me man!”
“Oh I'm sorry that I couldn't help you cause you let your girlfriend bite your neck like a bat!”
“At least I actually bang my girlfriend!”
“Well, at least I don't have to worry about hiding a goddamn hickey on my neck!”
“Gee, well could you at least just be my FRIEND AND HELP ME?!”
“How? I don't have anything else on me but the clothes I'm wearing.”
“Would white deodorant hide it?”
“Maybe but barely,” He then rubbed his chin as he tries to help his friend out. “Though I do have a turtleneck in my closet, but I-”
“PLEASE LET ME BORROW IT!!!”
“You sure? I don't even know what size you are. Who knows, you might be....."bigger" than me.”
“Let me try it on! Come on man, you know they’ll attack me once they see this.” Matt said as he pointed to his hickey.
“Uhhhhhhhhhh okay.” He then hands him the green turtleneck.
Matt then takes it and tries to pull it down around his body with no luck.
“Yeah no Matt, that won’t fit you.”
“No, no, no, no, I got this Hotch.”
Hotch then walk up to his roommate as he tries to help him out. “Just give it back! It wont fit!”
“No no, I can fit, I just need to keep pulling.”
“Matt give it back! I swear if you rip it-” Hotch was then interrupted by the sound of the sweater ripping.
“H-Hotch I-”
“MATT WHAT THE FUCK!”
“Okay, I'm sorry I really am, you were right, I should have listened to you but I didn't.”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” He screamed as he looked down on his beloved turtleneck sweater. “That was my favorite sweater. Why, why?”
“I’M SORRY. I truly am, I didn't mean to rip it. I'll buy you a new sweater, with my own money.” Matt reassured Hotch as he continues to mourn his ripped turtleneck.
“Matt...... my grandma made this for me!”
“Oh well.........shit. I’m so sorry.”
“Tell you what, don’t hide the hickey and let everyone make fun of you and we're even. Deal?”
“Okay fine.” He sighs as he puts on a random navy blue shirt.
“Lets go.” Hotch says as they both walk out the door.
Just as they leave, they saw Reid dragging his feet as he walks pass their dorm. As he walks past them, they noticed how he wasn’t walking but was limping instead. They couldn’t help but wonder what’s gotten into him.
“Uhh hey Spence.” Said Matt.
Reid slowly turned around. “Uh, hey guys. Didn’t see you there.”
“Nice walk- er limp you got going on.” Hotch said.
“Oh uhhhhhhh, I tripped on a loose pavement stone during the walk back. It still kinda hurts.” He grunts.
“Uh, you okay Reid?”
“Uh yeah.” Reid waved his arm. “ Yeah, just feeling a bit tipsy, that’s all. I’m gonna head to my dorm and.” He then tries to away away, only to collapse and stumble to the floor.
“Reid! You okay?!” Matt said, leaning down to help Reid.
“I don’t know, maybe, maybe not.” He struggles to lift himself. “Ow, my knees.”
“Alright, let’s get him up.” Hotch yells as he and Matt pull Reid up, carrying him into their dorm and placing him on Hotch’s bed.
“Thanks guys.”
“No problem.” Matt responds. “What happened to you?”
“What do you mean? I tripped on my way here.”
“No no no no something happened to make you limp like that.”
Hotch then sat beside the skinny brunette. “Come on Reid, you can tell us what happened.”
“Uh……….” Reid hesitated.
Matt then closed the door. “Don’t worry, we won’t make you of or judge you Reid. We promise.”
“You sure about that. I don’t know if you guys can handle the truth.”
“Reid, we can handle anything you tell us, and it wont leave this room unless you want it to okay?” Hotch said.
“Okay.” Reid nods. “I think I can trust you guys.” He took a deep breath as he opens up. “About what I said earlier, that I tripped. That was a lie.”
“We know.”
“Anyway, the truth is….that I was walking back from the girl’s dormitory. After the party, Marissa and I headed to her dorm. We played video games, ate ice cream and we……..” He rubbed two of his fingers as he hesitated in finishing up his sentence.
“OOOOO I think I get it!” Matt shouted.
“Yeah, I lost my virginity and ahh-” He clutched the right side of his body. “I’m in so much pain right now.”
“That’s what it was like for me my first time. I was so happy, but soooooo sore.”
“Really? What was it like?”
“Well when I first woke up, everything was fine. But then I made the HUGE mistake and made a quick, sudden movement and for the next two days, I had to walk so slowly.”
“Wow, tha-” Just then, Reid looked across from Matt’s bed to see something small and blue. “Is that a-”
“Yes Spence, that’s a woman’s panty on my bed.” He then pick it up and puts it in his closet while Hotch covers his mouth, trying not to laugh. “You’re not the only one that got some last night.”
“Cool. What about you Hotch-”
“No, I didn’t get laid last night.”
“Oh, okay.” He then picks up a small mirror as he pulls down the collar of his shirt, revealing multiple hickeys on his neck and collarbone.
“Woah.” Hotch and Matt looked on.
“Yeah, and that’s not all. These things are everywhere…..e v e r y w h e r e.”
“Damn Spencer.”
“Though, you’re not the only one.” Matt then pulled down the collar of his shirt, also revealing multiple hickeys on his neck and collarbone.
“Damn Matt, you got game.” Reid said, surprised.
“Yeah, I did.” He chuckled. “But look at you, you love marks yourself. You got some game too Reid.”
“Yeah, but what am I gonna do? I can barely walk, I lost a couple of buttons on my favorite shirt, and I don’t know how to conceal these little bites and scratches on my body. I look like i lost a fight with a paper and pen.”
Hotch and Matt looked at each other before turning their focus back on Reid.
“Tell you what, if the guys ask, say you got beat up by a bear and barely escaped.” Matt said.
“Really Matt?” Hotch said, facepalming. “That’s the most unrealistic thing I have ever heard.”
“Well, do you have a better idea?”
“Say, ummm y-you fell down a rocky hill.” He shrugged his shoulders.
“You guys are worse than Derek and Luke. Maybe I’ll just let them tease me. This could be karma for accidentally letting you guys strip down in your underwear in front of the girls.”
“I mean if you really want to step into the lion’s den then okay.”
“Yeah, though I also would’ve suggest wearing my turtleneck, had someone not…..”
“I SAID I WAS SORRY!”
“Well it ain’t gonna bring my turtleneck back is it?!”
“.......No.”
“Guys, guys, it’s fine, it’s fine. I’ve been through a lot worse than that. Hmmm…...maybe I could wear a scarf. Yeah that’s sounds nice.”
“Oh okay, cool.”
“So……….are we good?”
Both Matt and Hotch nodded. “Yeah, we’re good.”
“Cool……….uh, you mind helping me to my dorm? So that I could change?”
“Oh yeah, right.” The two then helped their friend up as they escort him to his dorm.
---------------------------------------
Elsewhere, Garcia tossed and turn, feeling a thick and lumpy blanket as she rubbed her eyes and woke up to find herself in a bed that clearly was not hers.
“What the-” She lifted herself from the bed, looking around, seeing that she wasn’t in her dorm, but a guys dorm.
“Where am I?” She thought. As she looked around, she suddenly looked down and gasped when she finds herself in her bra and underwear.
“What the-why, why am I half naked? Where’s my dress? Where’s my dress?” She panicked, scrambling around as she looks for her dress till she found her dress folded neatly on the desk.
“Got you!” Just then, she suddenly gasped as she heard the door open. “Oh no, oh no.” She panics and frantically struggles in putting her dress on, just when the door opens and closes. Garcia then screams and hides behind the other side of the bed. A few seconds later, she carefully peeks up as the first thing she saw was a couple of wet legs. She then scrolls up to see none other than Luke Alvez hovering above her, in nothing my a towel.
“Uh I-I”
Luke didn’t bother saying anything, other than picking up her discarded short-sleeved cardigan.
“T-thanks” She stammered as she takes the cardigan from his hand. She then awkwardly walks away, not saying any words.
“Garcia?”
“Yeah?”
“We’re supposed to meet up today.”
“M-meet?”
“Hotch and the others. We’re supposed to meet up by the forest today.”
“Oh yeah. I’ll be there.”
“Garcia I-” Before he could say anything, she closed the door. Just as she was walking away, she quietly mutters at herself, getting all flustered as she has no memory of what happened the night before, apart from blacking out. But whatever it was, it lead to Luke coming back in a towel. Thinking that they had a one night stand, she then gets all flustered thinking about it and Luke.
--------------------------------------------
“Emily, Emily!” The mousy brunette woke up to see Tara on her bed.
“What is it?” She rubbed her eyes.
“It’s ten, and it’s Sunday, which means……”
“Shit.” She clutched her head. “We’re supposed to meet up with Hotch and the gang today.”
“I know…...we should probably get ready.”
“Yes…….or……………….we can stay here for a few more minutes. It’s only ten, we still have time.” She cupped Tara’s face. She smiled back in return and kiss her. Seems like a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt.
-------------------------------
By noon, everyone finally met, right near the entrance of the forest, though everyone were still hungover from yesterday. Garcia continues to keep her distance from Luke, Derek and Matt talking about their sexual conquests and the hickeys that they got from their girlfriends, Kate struggling to stay awake, Tara and Emily still being affectionate and teasing one another, Reid still sore from having sex with Marissa and trying to conceal his soreness but to no avail and Elle still thinking about what she saw last night. Hotch couldn’t help but look on dismay, seeing that everyone was a wreck, including himself. Just then, he noticed that the group is not complete.
“Wait a sec, where’s J-”
“I’m here! I’m here!” JJ and Ashley ran up to them, touching their knees as they catch their breath. “Sorry we’re late.”
“Jesus JJ. What the hell happen to both of you?” Kate asked.
“Long story, I overslept, but we’re here now. We’re here.”
Hotch then sighs. “Okay. Now, that we’re all here, I guess we should all get going. With the sun still up, we can still see the path on the way back as well as the shortcut the girls found the other day.. Hopefully, this won’t be an issue anymore. Any questions?” No one said anything. “Good, now let’s roll.” The rest of the gang nods in agreement as they walk through the entrance of the forest. Hopefully they don’t get lost this time.
#elle greenaway#kate callahan#jennifer jareau#ashley seaver#matt simmons#aaron hotchner#spencer reid#penelope garcia#luke alvez#emily prentiss#tara lewis#derek morgan#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds au#the good ol days
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Tagged: Ask meme (50) - (96)
Tagged by @cookiespanda 😂😂😂
(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?
I had a dream when I was outside and there was this big thunder and lighting, I ran like a shirtless Michael B Jordan was waiting inside the nearest building.
(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?
I love both. If I am somewhere that it’s not convenient for me to read, I’ll just listen to an audiobook or a podcast.
(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?
It depends on my mood. Sometimes I play the music loud in the shower. When I write, there are times when I’m so focused that I can’t hear the music.
(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?
Carve pumpkins. I’ve never done it before.
(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?Rihanna - Diamonds
(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)
Summer. It’s endless because we only have 2 and a half seasons here.
(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?
A&W’s waffle to go.
(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.
Can’t. Something gay and nsfw is sure gonna come up 😂
(58) What Is Your Gender?
Female. For some reason, people always think I’m a dude on the internet and on MMORPG ..
(59) Coffee Or Tea?
Coffee.
(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?
No homework because I’m not a student. Just working on Becca’s tattoo theory video, The Junior Theory video, and Enneagram for TF and TS characters and reading fan fictions submitted from other writers for my Becca x MC x Kaitlyn fan fiction prompt #1.
(61) What Is Your Sexuality?
I’m bisexual.
(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?
I choose not to.
(63) Favourite Pokemon?
Don’t have one.
(64) Favourite Social Media?
Tumblr, of course. The gayest social media in humankind history.
(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?
I used to like SnapChat more but now that they added some changes ...
(66) Do You Get Homesick?
Never. Home is wherever I am.
(67) Are You A Virgin?
Is this a real question? 😂
(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?
Pantene.
(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?
In my car. There was this one time in 2013 when I was still a student in Japan and I flew from Tokyo to another city and I didn’t have much money and I didn’t book any hotel room because I thought I’d sleep in my sitting position on a seat at the airport because my family would arrive the next morning anyway. I didn’t know that the airport wouldn’t be opened for 24 hours. (Fuck) Like others who had the same plan as me, we were all told by the security to get out of the airport. It was midnight and it was so cold, dark and disturbingly quiet outside. I wouldn’t be surprised if some zombies showed up. I stayed outside for 2 hours and it was freezing.
And all I could think about was; how the fuck do homeless people survive on the streets? I had little money and nowhere to go and didn’t know what to do. Luckily, a Vietnam guy who originally was gonna sleep inside the airport saw me and told me that there was a 24 hour family restaurant nearby. We went there with a Taiwanese girl who couldn’t speak English and Japanese well (and I can’t speak Chinese). She came from Taiwan to see a concert of her favourite Japanese band. The whole thing was unexpected but I got to experience the kindness of strangers at the same time. The 3 of us ordered something to eat and we ended up talking and hanging out until morning. Then after the airport is opened again, we all went our separate ways. From then on, I kinda want to do something big for the homeless (except giving them CPR because I don’t know how)
(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?
My dad left when I was a kid.
(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?
Wrinkle in time.
(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?
Never.
(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?
Halsey - “When I sat down to do Hopeless Fountain Kingdom, I noticed that a lot of the mainstream interpretations had been done by men. So I swapped the characters so in my story, I’m Romeo. I wanted to see what would happen if the female in story chose herself.”
https://youtu.be/dwTS0gJf3kI from 1:25 on.
This gave me an inspiration (not an inspiration to do an interpretation because I’m a woman, but to be bold and add creativity into my original work)
Let me explain. The theme of her latest album, Hopeless Fountain Kingdom was inspired by Romeo and Juliet. In her music videos for this album, Halsey is Romeo. She gender swapped the characters. That alone was bold af.
Now that I understand what it feels like to put my work and my youtube videos out there, I know how “worrying about people’s responses/reactions and being afraid of criticism” from the internet feels like. And so I think what Halsey did was really bold and inspiring.
I’m someone who is not shy and compared to most people around me, I am confident. I can go up to a stranger and ask for their phone number for my friends. I did that when I was a student living in Tokyo and I went to Tokyo alone to study and at that time I didn’t know anybody in Japan and I could barely speak their language. But doing that is so much easier than building confidence to start a youtube channel. At first I was so friggin’ nervous. My palms were all sweaty. My confidence went out of the window and I was so worried and afraid. I think we all know how mean people can be on the internet.
Then last night I watched one of Halsey’s old interviews. She just does her thing so confidently and without hesitation (gender swapping Romeo and Juliet for her album) while being in the limelight at the same time.
It’s like she’s so focused on her work that she has no room at all for fears even though she’s so young. I learned something meaningful and useful and I got really inspired. I admire her because she has wisdom to share. Wisdom that can be used in the real world. And she inspires me to focus on my work, not my fears.
(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?
Purple. Like Danaerys Targaryen’s.
(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?
I liked it. Now I still do and because there’s no swing set near where I live, I have an excuse to be excited.
(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?
A&w waffle to go 😂 that I craved.
(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?
Life is strange, Choices, FFXV, Lineage II.
(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?
I don’t know how to give CPR so I wouldn’t because I might make that person end up dying faster.
(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?
When I was younger, I used to not sleep and not eat because I was addicted to MMORPG. (Final Fantasy XIV A Realm Reborn, TERA, Rohan and Ragnarok. I would have done the same with NieR Automata on PS4 if I were younger)
(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?
No. Not anymore after that cute af instagram model got herself a girlfriend. Wait. What?!? 😂😂😂
(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?
Yes. Meeting new people and keeping in touch are two different things so ..
(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.
Sometimes I wear 15 rings on my both hands.
(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?
Closed. Locked. Secured.
(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?
chatting with my bff in Tokyo, getting inspired by Halsey, about to introduce something to TF/TS fandom.
(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?
A plain shirt and a pair of plain sweats.
(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.
I’m not good at makeup but my fave red lipstick is Bang by Urban Decay.
(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?
Night person. Night time is when I can connect with my muses the most.
(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.
That’d take the whole day so I’ll tell you some of my faves. NieR Automata, Persona 5, Dark Souls, Bloodborne, Final Fantasy XIV A Realm Reborn, Dragon Age Inquisition, Life is Strange (what I’m gonna play next)
(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.
Too nsfw to talk about hahaha
(90) Favourite Soda Drink?
Melon fanta in Japan.
(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?
Piano.
(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?
I wear both equally. Jeans when I go out, sweats when I’m working on my youtube videos.
(93) How Do You Look Right Now?
Clean and presentable. Younger than my age, hopefully.
(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.
Taking a warm bath while listening to my favourite music. I think everyone should play the music loud when they take a bath to prevent them from falling asleep and drowning. I was told that it is one of the top reasons for deaths in Japan.
(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?
Halsey’s lyrics. I’ve always wanted a tattoo since I was 15 but I never knew what tattoo I really wanted until a few nights ago.
(96) Favourite YouTuber?
Stevie Boebi, a youtuber and a lesbian. I look up to her. When she was a kid, she got abandoned by her real mother then she was raped. It took time for her to open up about her pain and her vulnerability and now she is sharing her story with everyone on her youtube channel. She’s super strong and super inspirational.
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hi boo!
you do be taking up my heart too.. ;)
honestly i’m really worried about that actually. i know that genshin is coming to switch so i’m not /that/ worried but i want it to come quickly before my phone like 💢 explodes. sometimes it overheats so much i get so nervous sjdjsk.
i am! also idk how unpopular this opinion is but i like paimon’s english dub more idk she sounds Adorable in the english dub. what do you think? i see why he’s popular like aside from being diluc his voice is just hot he was talking during a battle and i almost died bc heh 🥴
his s7-8 hair was a mess after spending two years in the abyss without getting a damn haircut, that’s for sure. but it’s keith and he’s always cute so.. hm. anyway OOOOO oh my god? those two look soooo good though like minghao’s mullet isn’t bad at all. it kind of looks ‘natural’ :o you’ll prob rock that ahh.. dude you Are tomboyish. the dudebro of my heart. if i’m cold i’d steal your hoodies babe. and you’re right street clothes are so expensive for no reason at all.. have you considered thrifting? and for me, well my clothing is quite girly i think hdskdhdk. i wear a lot of proper clothes like dress shirts and plaid and coats. dark academia style if you will... :p
tongue piercings are kind of scary.. they look cute af but like,, how ?¿ shdjdks oh helix are my favorite piercings i think those looks sooo good. especially double helix! your dream is trying to push that punk rock energy in your subconscious hehe. i have my lobes, upper lobes and one helix pierced but i haven’t worn earrings in ages so idk if the holes are still functional.. SLEEVE!!!! it’s a dream of mine to have one too sleeves are soo sexy like ughhh. have you considered smaller tattoos? i know doctors that have tattoos and it doesn’t effect their job. and i do have tattoos! two in fact on each wrist.. ;) i’m getting another one when i graduate this summer and i can’t wait..
a goal of mine is recommending a song to you that you’ll seriously enjoy. wish me luck! (aaahhh????? will do.. 😳)
RUIN GUARDS ARE ONE OF YOUR FAVES? girl that’s atrocious. i literally hate them with my entire heart every time i see one i’m like UGH FUCK OFF WHY DON’T YOU? and you’re right omg and suddenly there’s vines all over you and you keep getting hit by them. fuck dendro slimes. speaking of, i can’t wait for us to get dendro characters i feel like their attacks would look Awesome. if dropped by lvl 60+ hilichurls why not mask?
really? i gotta try it again if you recommend it. maybe i just had it at a bad place or something shskdhsk. like always, i trust your taste on things.. 😏 OOO good! water is so nice....
speaking of, bc we talked about clothes and stuff, are you into makeup?
(i will! i’ll probably send it tonight so you’ll get it in the morning... 😳 holy shit. actually i have no idea how that works you’ll have to explain to me. like do we just chat in game and start a co-op sesh or?)
OF FUN! :D LITERALLY shkshdkshshskdjdnd god i love them so much. actually i’ve started to read some fics bc like,, can’t stop thinking about them and so far i’ve seen some good things actually! i recommend it!
YOU DID? CANT WAIT TO SEE IT AAAAA! <33333 hopefully i answered before you fell asleep today? <3!
hi hi!! fasted time i’ve responded to you yet? LOL
;) ;) <333
FSDFDSJ omg noooo that would scare me too i was playing on my phone once and as soon as it started heated up i just stopped hfshfksdjskd. you’re so brave for playing through it 😩
:o! i can’t actually remember paimon’s eng dub voice (or maybe i can’t remember the japanese one hahaha) but i think she’s cute always? fhdskfj wait do we even know much about her.. she really is just helping an outlander for nothing in return (except food i guess lol) wow what a sweetie. HFSKFHSDJFHK that’s such a mood in the darknight hero cutscenes w diluc fighting and using his weapon.. 🥵🥵
if you’re cold you’ll steal my hoodies... have you forgotten how small i am 😭 HFKSHFKJDSJF more like i’ll be stealing yours 🤪. i have wanted to go thrifting!!! but i don’t think there are too many shops here? or maybe not big ones, i know my friend went once but it was super far away rip... i do want to start being more like environmentally conscious with my clothes tho so i’ll def look into it. omg dark academia you did not just say those words to me.... there was a time dark aca playlists were all i listened to.... if you’ve read “what are you without your name” or whatever it’s called FHDSKJF i wrote that w dark aca vibes.... also i was reading some hogwarts 8th year drarry fics at the time i think so omg.... 👀😍💘 (also proper clothes wow that’s so. professional and ‘actual member of society’ vibes i could not relate hfkdshfjsdf)
yeah i can’t imagine the healing process for tongue piercings either yike... oooo!!! very cool.. i don’t wear my lobe piercings either LMAO but maybe i should now that i have my helix too 🤪 sleeves are so sexy and for what omg. i have! they were what i always considered before i for some reason wanted a sleeve all of a sudden hfksjhfds. YOU HAVE TATTOOS?!?!??! omg can i ask what they are 😳 (unless you think they might out you!) and you’re getting another? omg that’s so sexy for you..... i am captivated <33 idk for some reason i feel like at the end of the day i would chicken out of getting a tattoo bc it’s permanent... and like what if my skin stretches or shrinks or something.. and then it looks off hfskhfdskjfhfj (which is ironic considering i got piercings which are also permanent.. but i feel like i don’t have to see it unlike tattoos? LMAO)
good luck!!!!!! my goal will in turn be to seriously enjoy a song you rec.. fdsfjsh
dude just wait until you meet the other ruin *whatever* variants and you will Understand what i mean. 😭 omg what if it’s just like .... manifesting plants everywhere. WHY NOT MASK!!!! EXPLAIN >:(
maybe!! ngl quite a few places i try matcha stuff don’t do it well either, they use super artificial flavouring and it tastes bad and too fake-sweet ughhhhhhh. ooo on that note. thoughts on bubble tea/bubble tea places? do you guys have a lot there? water is the BEST!!! 💦
i am definitely not!!! im really just a like. doesn’t care too much about my appearance does no upkeep kind of person hfskdjf but also last year... i was thinking maybe i should try... like i kinda wanna see what would happen if i did like intense eyeliner and smokey eye or something... dark lipstick... goth look.. fhskfhksd but that shit be expensive right and in all honesty i would not be bothered to do it every day or even once a week hfskdf. i’m assuming you’re into it?
(yeee! so i’ll add you and you’ll (hopefully hehehe) add me back. and then we can chat whenever, and any time we’re both online i can request to join your world! and then you gotta accept and voila.. i’ll be there 😩😩😩)
oooooo feel free to gimme some recs!!!!
you have!! i’m staying up doing some other stuff and i wanna use up my resin again before sleeping so hehe maybe i’ll be able to reply once more before then? we shall see.
kisses!! c.r.
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wait what's asmr
aye glad u asked!! u can google it bc it stands for something but its basically tht nice tingly feeling u get in ur head/body when someone plays w ur hair or whispers in ur ear?? and on yt it’s a community of ppl who produce videos that intentionally create this feeling. some ppl find it creepy/weird but i LUV it
ppl use it for a lot of things, but ive been watching it every night for a lil over a yr for a few reasons:1) it’s a good alternative for music if im overstimulated or jus want quiet background noise while i play on my phone or do other stuff before bed2) feels nice3) it’s ppl talking to u which is good if ur lonely or bad w irl humans. it’s helped me immensely.4) a lot of asmrists r rlly pretty girls & i like looking at them + hearing them talk + seeing them smile & exist. theyre like. g rated cam girls hahah. im actually rlly attached to a few, i feel like i kno them personally jus cuz they talk to me every night jus not directly5) relaxes u before bed. good for insomnia
theres more but those r my personal ones.
there’s all kinds of stuff, like it’s this whole lil world, & one of the best parts is all the roleplays!! ppl put so much work into it?? crazy cool
so yah it’s jus. its cool. idk.
heres some favs if ur curious & wanna look into it:
*asmr glow: british/french/israeli makeup artist, she has a wonderful voice & shes very pretty & very sweet. does all kinds of vids but her roleplays r super cool sci-fi stuff. her names sharon shes Cool*palagea asmr: german/russian girl, speaks english tho w this adorable accent, & she’s so beautiful & sweet & cute & genuine and im a lil (a lot) in love w her. does cute fun roleplays. her beauty & voice aaaa i luv her*bohemian whisper asmr: shes superrr pretty & rlly silly & fun. does trigger word sorta stuff*asmr darling: kinda overrated tbh but she was my first asmrist, her brushing the mic videos r 👌👌👌 her names taylor too if tht matters*gibi asmr: QUEEN ok shes so cool she does cosplay so her roleplays r DOPE & shes also funny & sweet & cool & pretty & awesome i like her as a human a lot*fast asmr: i dont watch her anymore but she never shows her face & she does all kinds of shit idk. does a lot of unique triggers.*obviously asmr: one of the few men i watch ( i do Not like men whispering in my ear) but hes a twinkish fella from the netherlands so i dont mind him. he does tapping & mic brushing & stuff. reminds me of martin wallström*isabel imagination asmr: another dutch asmr! shes pretty in a goddess-y sorta way, makes a lot of fantasy roleplays tht r gorgeous. also jus genuine & nice. good-hearted, u kno?*goodnight moon: omgg erin is an Artisté she makes the prettiest coolest vids?? a lot of fantasy stuff, but whereas isabel is like mermaids & angels & stuff, gm is like kinda woodland, medieval but pleasant type stuff?? she has her own lil world revolving around this village & theres someone who runs a store tht sells dragons (maubelle my dorky luv!!), and theres some witches, and an inn keeper….rlly cool creative stuff*asmr cherry crush: shes a porn star so ppl in the comments r pigs, but shes actually rlly goofy & pretty so i like her? does a lot of ear biting vids which Isnt My Thing (it’s fairly unpopular actually) but i like her other stuff & i like her a lot*the asmr ryan: recently discovered him, film/horror film lover who wants to be an actor, super charming & charismatic? he has a derpy dog named happy whos in every vid, & he always signs off w “dont forget to smile” which is extremely endearing. makes cool horror/crime/eccentric roleplays, & other fun vids
i didnt mean to ramble so much but i luv these ppl they deserve good things for helping me sleep & relax
gibi made an intro to asmr that’s great, maybe watch it?? if ive sold u lol
damn im lame hahaha oops
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Q&A tag
putting these all under read more bc this is vvvvvv long. enter at your own risk :D
pt1
thanks #legendlizzy @wonpillows for tagging me! luv u
1. What member of your bias group would you stay up until 2am and talk about random topics with?
It’s either jae or brian, probably jae bc brian is probably off sleeping somewhere but seriously tho, it would be fun to talk to jae cause he’s funny and deep at the same time :D i luv him
2. Of all your groups you listen to, who would you want to see do a collab?
G-dragon and tablo, their lyrics would make me cry :(
3. Your bias wearing a bandana or a choker?
if brian ever wears a choker ill choke for real
4. Go to South Korea to see a concert as soon as possible, or wait until they perform closer to where you live?
go to south korea to see a concert and also travel at the same time, it’d be a fun experience
5. Of all your groups, who would you have to look after 24/7? Why?
idk tho, probably seventeen cause they’re chaotic and fun af
6. What is your favourite concept from any one group?
blackpink’s girl crush concept especially their fashion,omg
7. What would you give your bias at a fansign?
i’d give brian the right to murder me right there and then #noregrets
8. Describe your bias with a colour, and explain why you chose that colour.
brian + grey bc he gives off the vibe as someone who thinks a lot on his free time (hence the great lyrics) and probably has a lot on his mind and he looks great in grey (this doesn’t make sense sorry)
pt2
tagged by @jahehyung luvluv uuuu
1. If you could put your bias group in any universe what would it be?
Hahaha i would put day6 in the shadowhunters universe, mostly just jae and brian cause they’re more fit for the whole concept hahaha (i have a mood to write this as an AU fic now)
2. have your bias speak your language or being able to speak your bias’ ?
Both tbh i love languages! it’d be great to be able to communicate freely w/o language barriers
3. who in your bias group would you go on a roadtrip with?
Jae and Brian, bc jae’s fun and we would have fun together and brian cause he’s good at everything
4. favorite album of the groups you stan?
all of taeyeon’s albums, epik high’s shoebox, day6′s sunrise
5. if you could recommend your bias one song/book/movie what would it be?
to jae Tablo’s blonote and Pieces of you
i think he would appreciate it
6. if you could sing one song with your bias what would it be?
um hsm songs with Jae bc hype hype hype JK
7. how did you know your bias was your bias?
ask mr steal yo fans himself please he dragged me into his lane
8. aaand you can only have one kpop song in your phone for the rest of your life you choose____?
BIG BANG FXXK IT omg that song’s a bop
pt3
tagged by the amazing and super friendly @noa-noa-noa my fellow rock band stan :D
1. describe what kind of tumblr you would expect the members of your bias group (or a bias group, if you’re multi) to have - bonus points if you can make up a url!
jae (chickenjae / yellowpostitman / swegchicken )
he’d post memes
and those relatable text post things that you either agree with completely or fucks up your brain permanently
everyone wants to be his mutual
gets asks every. single. time
sungjin ( sungjinbear / bobbear )
is always lurking somewhere but doesn’t really post anything
likes everyone’s posts and he only reblogs and never posts his own stuff
selfie game is A+ so he gets tagged in selfie tag games a lot
brian oops i mean youngk ( whoisbrian / callmeyoungk )
posts food pics everytime
or snippets of him and the boys singing and jamming
only follows food blogs and studyblr blogs
his followers love to tease him by calling him brian, hence the url
wonpil ( pilimiri / pilipili / keyboardpill )
loves getting asks
answers asks with lots of emoji
has a nickname for every anon he gets
everyone adores him except for jae who shades him
dowoon ( drummerboy / prank-em-all )
posts snippets of him playing the drums
gets shy when people send in asks complimenting him
reblogs puppy posts
with the tags “!!!”
2. If your bias were to die their hair green, what would you think?
brian boi come at me with green hair i’ll combust in happiness
3. if your bias group were in produce 101, what kind of trainee would they be?
day6 would be the ultimate talented group and seventeen would be the ultimate group that everyone adores (mind my pun)
4. if day6 had a fandom colour AND lightstick design, what would you want it to be?
BLUE
5. give me your headcanons: what happened between the couple from congratulations and ywb?
the girl asks for a break and even though that guy doesn’t know why he still goes with it because he loves her, and then he discovers her cheating all along so he is very upset, but as time passes, he starts to let go and move on and instead chooses to view everything as a beautiful passing and fading memory.
6. give me your headcanons 2: why did sungjin and the girl in i smile break up?
Because sungjin wants to delve deeper into his music career with the band and the girl gets tired of waiting so she breaks up with him.
7. what house would each of your bias group members be in if they were in harry potter? (you can do more than one bias group
idk anything about harry potter oops
8. let’s have some fun: if you could be your bias group’s stylist for one day, what would you put them all in (bonus if you can add their hairstyle and makeup looks too because reasons)
hmm whatever day6 has on rn is great and i’d let seventeen dresses more casually like how day6 carries their boyfriend looks every day
My questions:
1. If you could take a trip with your bias to an alternate universe world, where would you go and why?
2. One quote that you associate with you bias?
3. What concept do you hope your bias group will do one day?
4. If you and your bias are friends and you have feelings for them, how would you tell them?
5. Valentine’s Day with your bias wrecker or Christmas with your bias? Why?
6. What would you tell your bias if he discovers your blog?
7. Recommend a book for your bias!
8. Describe a fictional character that reminds you of your bias and why?
tagging @youngest-k @day69 @jahehyung @foreveryoungk93 @pasteljoon @day6k @dowooniee @dowoonerie @moondowoon @proteinmisfolding im just tagging people i see on my dash often you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to ofc :D (and bc i have a goldfish memory and i dont remember who’s done this and who hasnt oops)
#tagged in#this was funnn omg sorry i took so long#i was answering the last part at uni bahahaha not guilty at all#m2
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when u are tagged and you feel blessed and loved
Tagged by @frank-iero-owns-my-ass, she is awesome go follow her. Rules: answer the questions and tag 25 people! LAST: [1] drink: water because I'm boring [2] phone call: my aunt [3] text message: my date mate [4] song you listened to: Dear Maria Count Me In by All Time Low [5] time you cried: earlier today :') HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: nope [7] been cheated on: yep [8] kissed someone and regretted it: haha yes [9] lost someone special: yeah [10] been depressed: yeah [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: been drunk but not thrown up that I remember LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] black [13] mint [14] pastel pink IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes!! [16] fallen out of love: yep [17] laughed until you cried: yes, over a meme. [18] found out someone was talking about you: yeah but I honestly don't care [19] met someone who changed you: yes, for the better 20] found out who your true friends are: yep! [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: don't have a facebook [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: don't have a facebook [23] do you have any pets: goats, bunnies, a cat, and a dog [24] do you want to change your name: nah I like my name [25] what did you do for your last birthday: did makeup with some friends and ate pizza [26] what time did you wake up: 9 am [27] what were you doing at midnight: probs crying about Ryden or MCR [28] name something you cannot wait for: seeing All Time Low live [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: like three hours ago [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: being in the closet [31] what are you listening to right now: San Diego by blink-182 [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: probably? [33] something that is getting on your nerves: the clean version of Vampire Money [34] most visited website: Wattpad oops [35] elementary: eh I was still homeschooled at that point and I had no friends :') [36] high school: im surviving [37] college: im dual enrolling soon hELP [38] hair color: black w blue [39] long or short hair: short [40] do you have a crush on someone: does it count as a crush if you are dating them? [41] what do you like about yourself?: um my hair and that's about it [42] piercings: two earrings in each ear [43] blood type: idk, should probably find out [44] nickname: soil/Buttercup [45] relationship status: taken [46] zodiac sign: Virgo [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: X Files [49] tattoos: none yet [50] right or left handed: right FIRST… [51] surgery: idk if this counts but feeding tube [52] piercing: earrings [53] best friend: Nirvana the meme fucker [54] sport: soccer [55] vacation: Bahamas [56] pair of trainers: some off brand sneakers I got in 5th grade that I was really proud of RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing, I wish I had some chocolate [58] drinking: nothing [59] i’m about to: go to sleep [60] listening to: Believer by Imagine Dragons [61] waiting for: MCR reunion and Phan coming out [62] want: chocolate [63] get married: someday [64] career: I want to be a guitarist but since that will most likely not happen, counselor or author. WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs all the way [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller pls [68] older or younger: older [69] romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive [72] hook up or relationship: relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: I just like to do stupid shit with my friends so idk HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? Yes [75] drank hard liquor? Once or twice [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? Lost my glasses once, but they aren't even prescription so it was fine [77] turned someone down: yep [78] sex on first date? NO [79] broken someone’s heart? Idk maybe [80] had your own heart broken? HAHAHA YES [81] been arrested? Nope [82] cried when someone died? Yes [83] fallen for a friend: hmmmm yES DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? I believe I am trash [85] miracles? Yep [86] love at first sight? I want to believe [87] santa claus? No [88] kiss on the first date? Eh, maybe [89] angels? Idk OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: Nirvana the meme fucker [91] eye colour: blue [92] favourite movie: Guardians of the Galaxy I tag: 1. @emugooseluvllama 2. @one-headphone-each 3. @shipsareamazing123 4. @heavy-dirty-soul-fpe 5. @linearoctopi 6. @heyjoshheytyler 7. @fakegreendayfacts 8. @thewifiisout 9. @badmcrmemes 10. @danandphilsmom 11. @johnlockwatsonholmes 12. @weenhand 13. @loveatfirstdallon 14. @thedailypete 15. @howfalloutboywillprobablybreakup 16. @greendaychick14 17. @howtopkickseachotherout 18. @helenaieroway 19. @brendonburiebot 20. @prettyodd 21. @justpetewentzthings 22. @scullyitsyou 23. @streamoflillies 24. @joshler 25. @alexgaskarthshitposts (I don't know all of you but you all seem really cool so) I did it all I'm proud of myself.
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Tweets!
All my tweets since August 29th, 2016
Currently renewing my unhealthy obsession with Harry Styles.
Seniors- have a fun year knowing that all the people older than you in school get to sleep in on Mondays
If it comes in rose gold, I own it
Lol @ seniors who think they're the shit
All of my stories start with "well first of all, bitch"
I love myself. Thought you ought to know.
When your roommate is THE SAME DISNEY PRINCESS AS YOU
My mom keeps sending me pictures of her food
Still in summer mode
Drew some nice pics of myself getting electrocuted in math today
I can literally find someone on the Internet in .002 secs with just a first name, but tell me to hand in my assignment online and I'll die
LOOK AT THE LITTLE HEART #GreysAnatomy
GREYS FOOTBALL AND HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT
If you live tweet next weeks Criminal Minds season premiere, I'll report you for emotional abuse
I have not lost my voice, my voice just doesn't like me so she moved out.
I send my parents paragraphs and hundreds of pictures of school and I am repaid with one word sentences and blurry pictures of my dog.
I come home to find that my parents literally did everything they could to conceal everything that has anything to do with me in my room
ALSO MY BATHROOM SMELLS LIKE CLEANING FLUID AND I KNOW DAMN WELL IT SMELLED LIKE "sweet peony" WHEN I LEFT
Anthony's favorite hobby is absolutely roasting people on the Hudl app
MUZZ WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE ANTHONY THAT HE PEED ON THE COUCH
On a scale from 1-10 of brokenness, I'm a $34.72.
I'm really proud of myself because I finished 1/8 of an essay that's due on Thursday #overachiever
Btw, Anthony replied to my hint with pictures of his papa
I know it's the law... But could the train maybe not blow the whistle 6 times through a campus of sleep deprived college kids?????
Spagetting to know you
Julia and I are in bed watching a movie and wondering why it's so loud... ITS 8:00 PM
But how the f is it October in like 2 days
We're over here acting like its the damn ice age
I've been coughing all over everyone and everything and IM A TERRIBLE ROOMMATE IM SO SORRY WTF
"5 Crazy" I love you, SVU
Women before us fought to have the right to vote - don't take that for granted #VOTE
My bed is absolutely COVERED in pillows, blankets, wires, school supplies, clothes and Tide pods etc…
This woman started vaping and then another woman told her to stop, and now they are full on screaming at each other. ON THE COMMUTER RAIL.
Guys, this clown thing is REAL
I'm having a hard enough time sleeping without all these inconsiderately loud people outside my building clown hunting
The dangerous part about college is going back to your bed in between classes
WORDS LITERALLY CANT DESCRIBE HOW EXCITED I AM FOR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.
Belle is my Disney princess and Emma Watson is my all time favorite actress I'm crying
Constantly waiting for the 12th of each month so I can have some data
You can now get a life sentence for animal abuse. Justice.
When your roommates make fun of you for complimenting an absolute FIRE selfie of yourself <<<<
SUNDAY SHOPPING SPREE
I fcking love candy corn
You don't understand... our school and social lives have to fit around the voice and grey's.
Sometimes my hand slips and I accidentally share something to my Facebook page
We're gonna miss you #ThanksPapi
It would be fun to me Harley Quinn for Halloween, but I refuse to be one of "those girls"
Never be afraid to be yourself!! Happy National Coming Out Day everyone
Julia and I have been watching Netflix in bed for 5 hours. COME BE OUR FRIENDS OMG
Tmlt I fcking love Evan Peters and AHS Netflix for dayyyyyyzzzz
May god bless you and may your eyebrows be forever on point
Dear very high people in the hall, please talk even louder! And continue to walk around in your underwear! Please!
I'm DYING. As soon as josh got home he immediately told everyone not to ask any questions about the dance
My baby brother is almost 14 and he's like a foot taller than me and his voice is deeper than my dad's
My little brother got a 30 yrd touchdown and 40 yrd run
Mo and Julia are asleep and I'm just laying here laughing my ass off
Literally the worst thing in the world is realizing you have a hole in your leggings
Backless dresses are just so incredibly beautiful I love them
The girls are asleep and I am laughing like a fcking psycho. What's new?
Sorry that I retweet a lot, I just feel like sharing the things I find awesome or funny are worth making your day too
I love reconnecting
I have heart failure walking to class when I start to hear a longboarder behind me
Cookies and Gilmore Girls with my babes
It's 11:00 and we're trying to sleep pls enforce quiet hour or I will
Julia and I suck at life so we put it on the internet. #relatable
"Omg have you seen @JeffreeStar new black highlighter?" "Isn't that just a sharpie?" NO JULIA IT IS NOT A SHARPIE
I love late night phone calls with my man
Rewatching greys is my fave thing to do
Meeting guy friends at college is easy until you bring up your boyfriend
I told everyone in my kindergarten class that I was a boy. So, surprise everyone idk what that was about
Life update: the heater in our room is making loud, evil noises. This started yesterday and has not stopped.
This heater needs medical attention
I am honestly concerned for this heater's health. She's clearly leaking or dying or something
College is not being able to afford a stapler and the professor refusing to collect unstapled papers.
Derek Shepherd has been setting unrealistic expectations since 2005.
Feliz Dia de Los Muertes!
I'm so excited for Beauty and the Beast I'm actually crying. Real tears. I'm seeing it MINIMUM 10 times in theaters
"THIS MEAT IS SO RAW A GOOD VET COULD SAVE IT" Anthony wutttttttt
No Makeup November
JULIA AND I ARE CRYING (not happy tears)
The sun rose this morning and it will rise tomorrow morning
My dad has had a variation of the same car since 1995
"You are SO loud" "I just don't care" lol k Anthony
Scooby doo
I cried twice today, first because I watched the Beauty and the Beast trailer, the second time was when I re-watched the trailer.
My dream job is when it's always Friday
Also no makeup November is going swimmingly, I may never wear makeup everyday ever again
All the bathrooms on my floor are being cleaned and I've been holding my pee for an hour and a half.
Can I be someone's creepy older prom date this year?
I had some real good coffee this morning and I feel absolutely fantastic, this may be a new me
Anthony is snapchatting me live from his room where his roommate is keeping him captive and asking deep questions about life
College is being awake at 11pm which is just enough time to squeeze in a few more episodes of greys before 12
COLLEGE IS BEING AWAKE AT 12:30am BUT THERES ONLY ONE MORE EPISODE IN THE SEASON
Hobbies include: coughing loudly and rudely when I pass people who are smoking
When I'm actively trying to not laugh my ass off at stupid stuff because roommate
Just a reminder to be careful and safe this holiday season
I want a pretty case because the life proof one is too much but I can't afford a new phone sooo....
TMI: I threw up all over a bathroom stall today. I warned you.
My professor shaded me in front of the whole class. I don't have room for embarrassment because I high key gained so much respect. Savagery
Hahaha at least my eyebrows are fleeky
The weather today is less than ideal.
Julia made a tinder and then promptly deleted it when she saw an attractive man. THIS IS WHY. THIS IS WHY.
True friends snapchat from across the room
If the wifi would stay connected, I wouldn't run out of data every month
The temperature was in the single digits today and I honestly don't know how I've ever been able to live like this for so long
There is a full on absolutely raging party down the hall from my room. 24 hour quiet hours what
College made me addicted to tums
Sleep is great, but have you ever watched Netflix?
Prof almost made us stay past the two hours like... fuck you thought??
Oh annnnnnd I woke my ass up at 7:00 this morning to get a waffle AND THEY HADNT PUT THE STATION OUT YET
Why does my brother constantly ask what we got him for xmas?? Like we're not telling you and if we did your xmas would be ruined
Trying to save up...but Sephora
I can't even put into words how sad I am about Carrie Fishers passing. Rest In Peace.
Someone get me on the slopes
Can't stop won't stop crying at the Beauty and the Beast trailer. What did I do to deserve this
Every time I lose a snapchat streak, I die a little on the inside
I'm such a daddy's girl tbh
Setting that 4 am alarm is absolutely killer
Hey at least the Cubs won the World Series in 2016
Thought about making a resolution to go to the gym and eat green stuff, but I'm just gonna do me, eat cookies and walk occasionally
Tmlt- moral: be happy, and do what makes you happy
I really just slept until 5pm
Traveling through Hoth in my damn Jetta was fun
I should have just skied home from work smh
These are the days that I wish my dad's Outback was automatic. Smh
I share a bathroom w two teenage boys. There is a pile of underwear in the corner that grows +2 every day.
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The Only One
Summary: Virgil has a secret that the Light Sides and Thomas are completely unaware of, but the Dark Sides unfortunately aren't. The Dark Sides are spending more and more time in the main area of the Mindscape now that Thomas and the Light Sides are trying to accept them as part of the famILY. What does this mean for Virgil?
From a Tumblr ask! :D
Link to AO3
TW: Blood, unsympathetic Deceit, minor violence, minor injuries, forced undressing, hurt/ comfort, angst with a happy ending, negative thinking, bullying, harassment, gender dysphoria, trans male character, misgendering, knives, no deadnaming but that doesn’t mean they don’t try.
Virgil curled his hands in the thick quilt on his bed. He’d encountered Deceit and Remus of all Sides that day and had hid in his room ever since. He couldn’t even be bothered to replace his shirt; he’d just thrown the tattered remains on the floor and crawled under the covers in shock, trembling with silent tears going down his face.
“Kiddo! Dinner’s ready!”
Virgil swallowed, trying to get past the lump in his throat. “Sorry Pat, I’m not feeling well,” he called back, voice gravelly.
Patton spoke more softly this time. “Oh sweetie, I’m sorry to hear that! Do you want me to bring you some soup or water?”
Despite his trauma, he smiled through his tears. He’s too good for me. “No thanks Pat, I think I just want to sleep right now.”
“Okay! Let me know if there’s anything I can do!”
“Will do.”
Virgil heard Patton move away from the door, and he sighed.
I should probably clean up the wounds. Don’t want them to get infected.
Virgil shakily stood and walked over to his bathroom. He winced. This is bad. This has to be one of the worst times. Thin cuts marred his skin where Deceit and Remus had used a knife to cut his shirt off. Thin lines of blood trailed down from each wound. Virgil sighed and went about disinfecting them.
You know they’ve been more active in the main Mindscape, you know they’d see you wearing a binder. Why did you have to be so fucking stupid? You could have just worn your huge hoodie like you used to and it would have been fine. They already beat the shit out of you once you changed your voice in the Subconscious, did you really want another beating that badly?
Virgil bit his lip as a sob forced its way past the lump in his throat and more tears streamed down his face. Soon, he’d expertly cleaned and bandaged his wounds and he started working on cleaning the tear tracks and makeup from his face. He cursed the Dark Sides for knowing to aim for parts of his body that would be covered up by clothes; if he’d been unable to hide the bruises, he wouldn’t have a choice but to tell the Light Sides.
The Light Sides won’t believe you. What, the Dark Sides they’re working on accepting just so happen to be evil transphobes who hurt you? And you’re the only Dark Side who’s not an asshole? Give me a break.
Virgil bit back tears. He was tired of crying over the Dark Sides hurting him. And if he told the Light Sides, they’d start asking questions that he wasn’t ready to answer. It was bad enough that they’d “outed” him as a previous Dark Side, causing their loving, wonderful Host to look at him with disgust.
Virgil shook his head. Thinking about that isn’t helping me calm down. He splashed a bit of water on his face and finished cleaning off his makeup. He curled back up in bed, hissing through his teeth at the new injuries, and resigned himself to a night of restless sleep.
/////
Virgil decided against wearing his new shirt and hoodie, instead opting for his old black ensemble. He felt like crying without a binder, but he also didn’t want to lose another one to Deceit’s knife and he was pretty sure a couple of his ribs were cracked.
Virgil made his way downstairs for breakfast, miserable. He’d put on extra black eyeshadow to hide the bags under his eyes and hopefully to draw attention away from the fact that his eyes were slightly red.
He was shuffling into the kitchen when he froze. Deceit is here, why is he here, why is he here, why is he-
“How are you feeling kiddo?” Patton asked.
Virgil shrugged keeping eye contact with him and resolutely avoiding the other Dark Side. “Fine. Better.”
“That’s good! I thought that we should get to know the Dark Sides better, so I invited them over for breakfast! Although Remus didn’t show up, something about being on a ‘deodorant cleanse’?”
“Yes, Virgil, it’s so important to get to know each other better, don’t you think?” Deceit purred.
“I know you well enough!” Virgil spat back.
“Now Virgil, give him a chance,” Patton said, disapproval coloring his voice.
Deceit looked hurt. “Yes Virgil, why aren’t you giving me a chance? I’m trying here, and you’re just being mean.”
Dammit, Deceit can act well if he tries.
Deceit looked at Virgil with a sick smirk.
Virgil narrowed his eyes at Deceit. “Fuck. You.” and sank back into his room, his stomach cramping from hunger. He curled up on his bed and hugged his pillow, angry tears coming out this time.
I just wanted food! And now Patton thinks I’m an asshole! And the others will too! Fuck!
A few hours later, he couldn’t ignore the nausea anymore and decided to venture downstairs. He walked up to his door and pressed his ear against it, listening for any indication there were Sides walking around. Hearing nothing, he slowly opened his door and looked both direction.
Finally. I need-
“Doom and Gloom!”
Fuck.
Virgil turned his head and looked at Roman. He seemed excited about something or other.
“I have this wonderful new project! For Halloween! You’ll love it Virge!”
Deceit and Remus appeared behind Roman, smirking.
“Virgil? Who’s she, never heard of her,” Deceit sneered.
Roman jumped, but relaxed quickly. Virgil ground his teeth.
“I thought it was Veronica? Or no wait, Vanessa?”
Virgil glared at them. “That’s never been my name,” he growled.
“Oh, my mistake!” Deceit laughed, daintily putting a hand to his chest. He smiled. “Violet.”
“Hahaha! She’s a girl!” Remus shrieked, pointing at Virgil. Roman just looked confused.
Virgil held himself back and closed his eyes. He inhaled, opened his eyes, turned around, and walked downstairs. He heard Patton humming in the kitchen and smiled.
He entered the kitchen and opened the pantry to grab some cereal.
“Hey Virge!”
Virgil smiled at him and sent him a two-finger salute. Patton let him get milk in his cereal and start eating before he spoke up.
“Honey, I think we need to talk about what happened with Deceit this morning.”
Virgil’s stomach nearly revolted. It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s no big deal. “Yeah? What about it?”
Patton sighed. “The way you spoke to Deceit… Is there something else going on?”
Virgil whipped his head towards the fatherly trait. He’d been expecting admonishment and chastising, a demand to go apologize to Deceit. Instead, Patton’s eyes were full of concern. “I… what?”
Patton tilted his head. “I know you have a longer history with the Dark Sides than we do, and it sounded like there were things that weren’t being said out loud.” At Virgil’s baffled expression, he continued. “You can trust me, sweetie. Is there something going on?”
Virgil stared at his cereal bowl, fighting back tears. He moved the cereal bits around with his spoon.
I can’t lie to Patton, he’s just trying to help.
Virgil decided to tell the truth. “I can’t say. I’m sorry.”
Patton sagged slightly at that. “Is Deceit stopping you?”
Virgil chewed on his lip. “No, it’s my own fucking fault.”
“Do you feel unsafe around us?”
Virgil jumped at the question. “No! I just,” Virgil’s voice choked off. “I can’t say,” he whispered brokenly.
“Oh sweetie, do you want a hug?” Patton asked.
“S-sorry, not right now.” The thought of Patton wrapping his arms around his body, especially without his binder, was too much.
“Okay baby, let me know. Is there anything I can do?”
“No. I’m sorry.” And with that Virgil broke. He dropped his spoon in his bowl and put his head in his hands, letting out the sobs he’d been holding in.
“Oh! Virgil, it’s okay! It’ll be okay!”
Virgil just shook his head.
“Would it be okay if I rubbed your back?”
Virgil nodded. He won’t be touching my front, that’s okay.
Patton immediately put a hand on Virgil’s back and began lovingly rubbing it.
“I w-want to s-s-say, but I c-c-can’t!!”
“Oh baby, I’m so sorry. It’ll be okay,” Patton soothed, confused but beginning to understand that something was going on between the Dark Sides and Virgil and it wasn’t anything good. For now, he focused on calming Virgil down enough so he could eat. Eventually, Virgil’s cries petered out.
Patton kept rubbing small circles into his kiddo’s back. “There you go. Feeling better?”
Virgil nodded and wiped his face on his sleeve. He smiled at Patton shyly. “Sorry ‘bout that. Just freaking out for no reason.”
Patton frowned. “It doesn’t sound like no reason.”
Virgil waved him off. “It’s fine Pat. I’m probably just hungry.”
Patton knew it wasn’t just hunger, but he also knew not to push the issue any more. He grabbed a bowl of cereal for himself and chatted with Virgil, trying to make him feel comfortable again. He was happy that by the end of the meal, Virgil was much more relaxed and didn’t seem like he was about to burst into tears. Virgil cleaned his dishes and and sent Patton a two-finger salute as he sank out. Patton let his face fall once Virgil was out of the kitchen. What is going on with my sweet boy?
/////
The Sides all rose up when Thomas summoned them for the next video. Virgil had his normal hoodie on and zipped up and prayed no one could tell that he wasn’t wearing a binder.
“Hey Virge! You cold?” Thomas asked.
Virgil nodded, Deceit giggling at the lie.
Thomas turned to the camera and started filming.
“What is up everybody?! Today, I’m dealing with an important topic: when to come out.”
Remus giggled. “Like Virgil! She-” Deceit elbowed him, cutting him off.
Thomas frowned in confusion at Remus. “I mean, yeah, he told me he was a Dark Side, and that’s what I wanted to address this video.”
Deceit summoned a bowl of popcorn and crunched loudly, making sure Virgil saw the shit-eating grin on his face. Remus just snacked on deodorant.
Virgil paled and felt cold all over. His heart was pounding and there was a lump in his throat. Thomas turned to him.
“Virgil, I… I just wanted to say that I was surprised, and I still love you. I don’t care that you were a Dark Side before. You’re working with me now, and with the others, and who you are now matters way more than who you thought you had to be in the past.”
Virgil was shocked. He felt tears springing to his eyes. “You… you really mean that?” he whispered, incredulous.
Thomas smiled. “Yeah, I do.”
Virgil sagged in relief and smiled, a single tear running down his cheek.
“That’s totally how I expected that was going to go,” Deceit complained.
Remus just threw his deodorant on the ground in frustration.
Thomas ignored them. “Do you want a hug Virge?”
Before Virgil could panic and make up an excuse, Remus started shrieking with laughter. “She can’t! Then you’ll feel her tits!”
Virgil felt all of the blood leave his body.
Thomas just tilted his head in confusion at Remus. “What?” He looked at Virgil. “Virge? What’s going on?”
Virgil started backing into the wall and hyperventilating, new kinds of tears making their way down his face.
He knows, he knows, he just got over me keeping one big secret from him, this is a coming out video, he’s going to find out, he’s going to hate me, they’re all going to hate me, they’re going to send me back to the Dark Side, he hates me, they hate me…
“Come now Virgil,” Deceit purred. Virgil jumped when he and Remus appeared in front of him on the landing. “Let’s be fully honest with our Host, that’s what he would want, isn’t that right?”
Remus and Deceit grabbed Virgil and started pulling down the zipper. He cried out and thrashed in their hold until they were pulled away. He didn’t notice who helped him, he just collapsed on the landing and curled into a defensive ball in the corner, shaking like a leaf and hyperventilating.
“Virgil? Can you hear me?”
Virgil flinched and whined at the proximity of Logan’s voice.
“I can’t, I don’t want to, please don’t make me, don’t hurt me, please…” he whimpered.
Everyone’s hearts shattered.
Patton came up to the landing and leaned against the steps. “It’s okay sweetie, no one’s going to hurt you, I promise. No one’s going to force you to do anything. Can you try to breathe with me baby?”
Virgil let out another cry but nodded. Patton counted with him, occasionally glancing back at the Dark Sides. Roman had the Dark Sides cornered, sword pointed directly at them, making sure they wouldn’t hurt Virgil. After almost twenty rounds of breathing exercises, Virgil’s muscles began to relax from the cramped position they were in.
Thomas knelt in front of the stairs. “Virge?” he began cautiously. “Are you okay? What happened?”
Virgil’s breath hitched. “I’m sorry Thomas.”
“Buddy, no! You got attacked and got scared.”
Deceit laughed. “That’s not all Thomas! Go on, tell our Host what else you’ve been lying about!”
Thomas frowned at Deceit and looked back at Virgil. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. This… God, this has to be the worst time to be making a coming out video. Are you hurt at all?”
Remus laughed. “Awwwww, is the little girl hurt?”
“SILENCE!!” Roman roared.
Virgil flinched, staring at the Dark Sides with wide eyes.
“Virgil, hey look at me,” Thomas called softly. Virgil turned wide eyes to Thomas, the Host almost breaking at the tears he saw. “It’s okay buddy.”
Remus wasn’t done. “Take off her shirt!!”
Roman took a step towards them. “SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL RUN YOU THROUGH!!”
There must have been something in Roman’s expression, because the jeers stopped.
“Honey-” Patton began. He was cut off with a sharp inhale from Virgil as he laid a hand on the anxious Side’s back. He quickly withdrew his hand.
“I’m sorry baby! Are you hurt?”
Virgil sniffled. “N-not too bad.”
Thomas’ face twisted in anger, and the two Dark Sides sank out. Roman sheathed his sword after a moment and walked over to the stairs, worried about his anxious friend.
Logan spoke up. “Virgil, may I look at your wounds?”
“No!” he yelled, curling up defensively and hugging his hoodie closer to himself.
“I will respect your choices Virgil. However, I believe that it would be in your best interest to allow me to assess your injuries to ensure nothing else is going on and to help prevent infection.”
Virgil shook his head. “They’ve done worse, this is nothing, I’ll be fine.”
“They’ve done this before?!” Roman growled.
Virgil curled in on himself and nodded.
Patton shifted a little closer. “How have they hurt you in the past?”
Virgil’s breath hitched. “Th-they’ve beat the shit out of me when I changed my voice. I u-used to have a higher pitched voice and I didn’t like it. And when I changed how I dressed they beat me up for that too.”
“Oh Virge,” Patton breathed. “Do you know why they did it?”
“B-because…” Dammit, I’ve really got to say it, don’t I? “I-I’m a trans guy.” Once he started, he couldn’t seem to stop. “The D-Dark Sides h-hated me for it, s-said I w-w-was a girl, but I’m not! I swear I didn’t l-lie to you T-Thomas!! I just, w-with how you’d t-taken the news of me being o-one of them in the p-p-past, I was scared you’d m-m-make me go b-back to them and I c-c-can’t…” Virgil dissolved into tears, unable to form any more sentences.
Thomas jumped forward and hugged Virgil close to him. Virgil curled into his Host and cried.
“God, Virge, I’m so sorry. I’d never hate you for being trans! Whatever I did to make you think that, I’m so sorry. And if they’re hurting you, I’d never want you in that position.”
Thomas held Virgil until his cries petered out.
They deserve to know. “Th-they’d cut off m-my clothes.”
Thomas froze and tightened his arms.
“They what.” Patton said, voice flat with blinding fury.
“Th-they w-wouldn’t go farther th-than that!” Virgil added quickly. “They’d j-j-just cut off m-my clothes t-to try to p-prove I’m a girl. Th-that’s why I’m n-not w-wearing a b-b-binder today. Th-they cut up my l-last one with a knife a-and hurt m-my ribs.”
“Oh baby…”
Logan adjusted his necktie nervously. “I… Virgil, I am so sorry they hurt you. I believe I understand another reason you don’t want me to look at your injuries. May I ask you some questions instead?”
Virgil bit his lip and nodded, still curled against Thomas.
“Does it hurt to breathe?”
Virgil nodded, and Thomas loosened his grip slightly.
“On a scale of one to ten, how bad is your pain when you breathe?”
“Um, like a 5? It’s not too bad.”
“I am glad to hear that. Are you experiencing any difficulty breathing?”
“Not really, no?”
“Alright. Let me know if you do. Would you consent to stay with one of us for a few nights until we’re certain there aren’t any other ill-effects?”
“Y-you don’t mind?”
Roman frowned and tilted his head. “Why would we mind?”
“...I dunno.”
Logan sighed. “We want to help you Virgil. Please tell us what is bothering you.”
Virgil hid his face in Thomas’ chest, muffling his words. “They s-said I was gross.”
Roman actually snarled while Patton gasped and Logan and Thomas’ faces hardened.
Thomas closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He opened them and kissed the top of Virgil’s head as he held the trembling man.
“You’re not gross Virge.”
“Y-you’re just saying that.”
Logan hesitantly placed a hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “Virgil, I am not one to mince feelings.” Virgil huffed a laugh at that. “You are objectively not “gross.” Remus and Deceit are wrong.”
Virgil lifted his head and looked at Logan. “Promise?”
“I promise.”
Virgil relaxed against Thomas. “Can I… Can I wear my old stuff until my ribs heal? That hoodie’s bigger, it helps with… yeah.”
“Of course you can kiddo!” Patton rushed out. “If it makes you feel better, go for it!”
Virgil frowned and looked at the Light Sides and Thomas suspiciously. “You’re all taking this… really well,” he said slowly. “I’m the only one like this. Not even one of the other Dark Sides is like this. Aren’t you freaked out?”
“Kiddo, no!”
“One’s gender would never make me forsake them!”
“You identify as a man, therefore you are a man.”
Thomas hadn’t spoken yet, and Virgil felt tears in his eyes.
“Virgil, buddy,” Thomas began. “I… I fucked up, didn’t I?” Thomas’ voice grew thick with tears. “I somehow made you think I think less of trans people.” Thomas buried his face in Virgil’s hair to hide his tears. “I-I’m sorry I ever made you feel that way. I promise I’d never think any less of you. You’re still my facet, my Virgil, and this is just one cool thing about you.”
Virgil pressed into Thomas. “I don’t know why I had to manifest this way. There’s no reason for it!”
Thomas rubbed Virgil’s arm. “We may never know why, and that’s okay. We don’t need to in order to accept you and love you.”
Virgil closed his eyes, exhausted. “Thank you, Thomas. I shouldn’t have doubted you.”
Thomas squeezed Virgil as tightly as he dared. “You were scared.” Thomas smiled before he sung. “It’s okay. We’re your best pals!”
Virgil snorted. “Dork.”
“Damn gay.”
“Don’t you mean- oh, I get it.”
Patton and Thomas giggled.
Roman stepped closer. “Virgil, would you like to stay in my room tonight? The bed’s big enough to fit all of us.”
Virgil looked up at Roman and smiled. “Sure Princey.”
Later that evening, when Virgil is surrounded by the Light Sides, he smiles to himself.
The Light Sides might be clueless morons, but I guess I could get used to this.
#sanders sides#fanfic#virgil sanders#thomas sanders#roman sanders#deceit sanders#tw deceit#remus sanders#logan sanders#patton sanders#transphobia#misgendering#dysphoria#gender dysphoria#lamp#calm#lampt#calmt#minor violence#minor injuries#forced undressing#h/c#hurt/ comfort#bullying#harassment
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