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#vulnerable should be my middle name
redcoralpot · 5 months
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U Malatu - Mike Schmidt x M! Reader
Summary: Mike gets a call back on the ad he had sent out for a new babysitter for Abby. While they were interested in the job, Mike was more than interested in them.
Warnings: NSFW content (masturbation), and mentions of murder.
Word Count: 1.55K
Notes: Consider this a gift for the gay Mike simps!!
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-
Mike had expected nothing of it, really. He had paid a newspaper company a few dollars to display ads for a babysitter in their daily papers; a last ditch attempt before starting his new job at a local pizzeria. He was working the night shifts, and with his office being in the middle of a highly dangerous, abandoned building, he hesitated in bringing his little sister along. Abby was only ten years old– who knows what she would get into?
So, when his phone rang with a call from an unknown number, Mike immediately answered, “Hello?”
Radio silence from the other end. His mother always had warned him about spam. 
His finger hovered over a red button, ready to end the call, when a noise froze any movement, “Um… are you Mike Schmidt?”
“Yeah, this is him.”
The caller cleared their throat, “Okay, so, I’m calling about a babysitting ad I saw at a local diner; I’m interested. Is it possible for us to meet there to discuss details?”
“Woah, hold on. What’s your name?” Mike questioned, folding his jacket over a chair.
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll meet you outside of Sparky’s at four o’clock. I’m looking forward to it!”
“Wait–” That was the only thing he could respond with before the line cut out, and his home screen went back to normal.
Suspicious. Maybe he should have gone a different route than dropping the opportunity of watching over a vulnerable child into just anyone’s hands, but it was too late to turn back now. Sparky’s was a public place, at least, so this person would not be able to hurt Mike without getting caught. If he got any weird feelings from them, he’d immediately call it off and go home. 
Mike glanced at the oven clock, ticking away at time like it was nothing. Currently, it was only three, and the drive to the popular diner was only fifteen minutes away. Well, shit. He was too desperate to pass this up, not with the court constantly watching his back. Mike groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose, dreading his first shift already.
He ended up needing that extra time to get Abby comfortable enough for him to leave, and oh, how stubborn she was. Mike had to carry her over his shoulder just to get her into her bedroom, where she had plenty of sensory toys and items to occupy herself with. Additionally, Mike had put extra care into making sure she had the opposite too, such as noise canceling headphones in case the neighbor decided to mow his lawn again. The last time he saw her, she was huddled up on her desk again, using crayons to draw scribbly pictures of her imaginary friends. Yeah, imaginary. They weren’t real, as much as Abby claimed they were.
By the time he had gotten in the car, started it, and driven to Sparky’s, he was five minutes late. Yet, from his windshield, he could see a man in a quirky uniform sitting outside the main doors. Mike couldn’t see the details of the stranger– he needed to get his eyes checked– but he witnessed them flinch at the sound of his car door slamming. As he approached, the man jumped up with a sparkle in their eye, and held out a hand.
“Mike Schmidt?”
He didn’t shake it, causing the hand to fall awkwardly to your side, “Yeah.”
“Uh, anyways, I saw your ad. The diner hands out a paper full of ads with their menus, you see, and yours caught my eye.”
“You mentioned that.”
The man had a lopsided grin on his face, and you chuckled; the sound sent a spark up Mike’s spine, “Yes, yes I did. I make decent money, but I’m also looking for a bit of a side job too. Babysitting was on the top of my list, ‘cause I love kids.”
“Do you have any actual experience with it?”
“I was a babysitter for my first job in highschool,” he rambled, “my favorite kid was a little boy from a local daycare. His mom said he got diagnosed with autism and she needed extra help taking care of him during the evenings. He was a delight!”
“Why did you stop?”
“Ah, it’s a shame. Fritz, the little guy, was one of the kids that went missing at a pizzeria a while back. His mom was never the same after that, and I felt guilty that I wasn’t there.” You shuffled closer to the doors, shoulders tense.
“A pizzeria?”
You shrugged, “It got shut down soon after that. I guess when a couple of kids disappear into thin air in a restaurant, parents aren’t keen on bringing their children there anymore.”
Mike opened his mouth, ready to ask another question, but you stopped him, “Listen, I gotta go, this was my break. You have my number, right?”
He nodded, and you replied with your pinky and thumb sticking out of a fist, held to your ear. Mike watched as you disappeared into the diner, curiosity and another, more unknown feeling creeping up his chest. He remembered it so well, looking back on it.
-
Nowadays, Abby loves you. Mike could lean on the doorway, and a smile would tug on the corners of his lips as he watched you make shapes with your hands. A light was set in her room specifically for this purpose, as the shadows cast would mimic whole storylines. His little sister would view it in glee; the tales always accompanied by voice acting, your doing. Mike even started, in the back of his mind, to prefer the idea of spending the night like that instead of in front of a collection of security cameras. He observed your hands, how your body moved, your face, and more embarrassingly, your lips.
Mike studied how gentle and sickeningly sweet your voice was when you praised Abby, but also the stern expression that played in your eyes when she misbehaved. You would glance up at him sometimes, the manner still stained, and a heady feeling would slam into his brain. The experience always only lasted a few seconds, when his little sister would grumble again, and you were pulled back towards her. Frankly, there were times when Mike wished you would continue, though he’d never admit it. He pushed it down with everything else.
Alas, that can only work for so long– a man has needs. Those needs surface at the worst possible time, and for Mike, that was on his endless night shift at the pizzeria. He cursed under his breath, feeling his dick straining against his jeans. The feeling of your hand manhandling him out of his own front door was imprinted on his shoulder, even if his uniform vest covered it. Just thinking about it sent a shiver down his spine, and he closed his eyes as his eyebrows scrunched together.
“F-fuck.” He whispered. 
His seat shook as Mike shifted in it, fidgeting, unable to focus on the bright screens on his desk. The more he tried ignoring it, the more depraved thoughts infected his head. A finger trailed up the seam of his pants, his breath hitching, where it finally landed on the button holding it all together. Mike bit his lip and unbuttoned it, a whine escaping him as he palmed himself. 
He imagined it was you that was doing it, your strong palm cupping his crotch as easily as you did a mug at home. He snaked fingers into his boxers, sliding himself out of the top, and rested his forehead against the wood under the cameras. His dick twitched at the movement, and he brushed against the tip. Mike huffed as he slid his hand down, and then up, repeating; spreading precum as it came out. What else could you do with that strength?
Could you manhandle him on his hands and knees? You could, he knew, and you would trail your hands down his body. So very gentle, so very kind, for what you were about to do. You could hold his hips still to prevent him from thrusting up into your hand, as he whimpered in complaint. Sweat dripped down his forehead as he felt the stickiness grow in his hand; you could call him the most pathetic things and he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. A pet, a slut, a little whore.
Mike let out a quiet moan, “Please…”
He’d face away from you as you thrust your own against his cock, not even earning the privilege to look at you. You would treat him as only a toy to use, whenever, and however you wanted. His ass would be red from how hard your skin slapped against his; the sting only sending down zaps of pleasure. You wouldn’t even bother taking off your own clothes, only his. 
“That’s it, that’s a good boy,” you’d grunt.
That same heady feeling slammed into Mike again, but this time was different– this time it was accompanied by a white flash in front of his eyes. His body seized upwards, drool smearing against the desktop. The guard felt warmth drip down his palm, onto his pants and the floor. For the first time in what felt like forever, he let out a deep, shaky breath. 
The stain was going to be hard to explain.
-
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gh0stsp1d3r · 5 months
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𝒰𝓃ℯ𝓂𝓅𝓁ℴ𝓎ℯ𝒹
Warnings: suggestive, yandere themes, stalking, degradation
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Steve Raglan, the name displayed on the phone made you smile slightly, knowing your last encounter was for anything but to get a job.
“Mr. Raglan.” You said, in a surprised voice.
“Y/n.” He said, clearing his throat. “I just called to see if you were still coming tomorrow.”
“Uhh.. yeah. Yeah I am.” You said with a small smile.
“Okay. See you then.” He said rather quickly, and hung up before you could even say anything.
That was odd, you thought. You just ignored it for the rest of the day, and went to sleep with a smile on your face for tomorrow.
You opened the door, where Steve was turned around, talking on the phone.
“I can’t do anything about that. Sorry.” He said, and he turned his chair around when he heard you sit down on the chair in front of him, your bag slung on your shoulder and legs bouncing.
You looked beautiful, as always. He thought. Quickly brushing those thoughts away as the person on the phone hung up.
“God that guys annoying.” He sighed, shaking his head and smiling at you. You just gave him a small smile back, looking down at your lap
“Anyways.. I see your still unemployed.” He clicked his tongue, sighing deeply.
“Yes.” You mumbled, still looking at your lap.
“What am I going to do with you..?”
It was degrading, and yet the words made you wet. God, it was pathetic. You thought.
You crossed your legs, gulping and holding he wouldn’t notice. But of course, his eyes went down to your legs, your thighs.
“I don’t know, sir.”
His eyes raked over your body, looking at the shirt that hugged your curves and pants that fit just perfectly.
“Although… I do have a good offer, good pay, and I think you’ll enjoy it.” He looked back at your face. His voice was suggestive
Your eyebrows raised at that, now staring and listening intently.
“You will stay by my side, easy enough, no? But… I think you already know what I’m getting at.” He chuckled lowly, hands folding in front of him as he waited for you to process.
“Mr. Raglan, as good as the offer sounds-“
“I’m not asking anymore, y/n.”
Your eyes widened, confused slightly. “Mr. Raglan, I don’t-“
He sighed, moving a folder and some papers away so nothing was in the middle of you and him.
“Of course you don’t understand. I’ve been watching you, since the first day you came in. I know your favorite movie, your favorite song, I know where you live, I know so much about you. You didn’t even realize it our last visit, when I was most vulnerable.”
You gulped and you stood up. “Mr. Raglan..”
“Steve. If we’re gonna be working together for a while, just call me Steve. Or-“ he paused for a second, thinking if he should tell you.
“Actually.. call me William.”
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satoruhour · 9 months
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how nanami would react to you (his wife) being needy when he comes back from work pls <3
a/n: hehe / 1.6k
warnings: f! masturbation, pleasure dom nanami, pet names, usage of sex toys (vibrator + dildo), nanami listens in for a bit, clit stimulation, oral (f! receiving) / cunnilingus, face-sitting, clothed sex, a bit of degradation, p → v penetration, riding, cowgirl, unprotected sex, creampie / breeding kink, implied second + subsequent rounds, n*sfw under the cut
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“honey?” nanami calls out to the seemingly quiet home. there’s no sounds coming from the kitchen, which is a normal occurrence for you, pots and pans clanging in a rush to make sure dinner’s ready before your husband returns, even after he insists that there’s no hurry. but of course, he’s overtimed for quite a while, leaving the office around 7.30, so he doesn’t think it’s weird that you aren’t in your usual apron and slippers.
but he doesn’t smell dinner, either, the faded fragrance of whatever it is you planned to make wafting through the house; nothing. and then fear takes over as nanami scours the place, dress shoes clicking uncomfortably on the floor reminds him of an explosive — maybe you’ve been taken hostage, maybe you have a bomb attached to you, but the further he enters into your home, the more he doesn’t hear the matching sounds of a timer against the heel of his shoe.
it’s more of a low hum, when he finally ascends the stairs. one step by one step, nanami gets closer to the source: an unceasing buzz of a toy, and your quiet whimpers muffled by the duvet, the thrashing of your legs and the squelch of your dripping cunt as it sucks in your dildo. your husband internally sighs in relief, but he kicks out the previously terrifying vision before and focuses on your sounds.
“ken— s-shit…” nanami wipes his sweaty palms on his slacks, sparing a glance to the dick print already showing through the fabric and thinking if he should respect your space to let you finish or if he should just offer to help. ah, nanami, always the caring husband, but he knew chivalry would only make you more needy, so he sounds a quick rapt on the door and opens it, arriving to the sight of his pretty wife spread out so nicely.
“ah! what- kento!” your hair is tousled all over, some sticking to your skin. with chest heaving, you try to catch your breath as the toy you’ve been using dies out, clearly not able to take your multiple lacklustre orgasms. from the door, nanami’s eyes shift down to your cunt, wet and soaking the sheets, your cute apron swiped to the side. his eyes soften just a little seeing your fucked out expression, and even more so at the way you don’t cover yourself—
nanami makes you feel so damn good about your body that you have no room for insecurity and he thinks you look like an absolute goddess like this, imperfections and all. the soft pleas leaving your mouth is just the cherry on top.
“hey sweetheart… need some help?” and he feels his heart clench when you nod shyly and mutter a soft ‘please‘, hand reaching for his once he comes close enough to the bed. your husband goes in for a passionate kiss, twining his fingers with yours as the other sifts through your hair. it’s always vulnerable with nanami, laying down and pulling you atop him easily.
“no, baby,” nanami has one hand on your middle to stop your hips from moving, brushing the hair that falls out from your barely-together bun behind your ears, “want you to sit on my face. can you do that, sweetheart?”
“but what if i…” you pout, holding the hand that fumbles with your hair, pressing a soft kiss to his open palm.
“aht, aht, what’d i say about worrying about me?” nanami just smiles, ready to suffocate between your thighs, at the mercy of your sweet arousal. he nudges you forward as you scoot up his body knee by knee, until you’re hovering over him. he can smell you from here, puffy clit jutting out from how many times you’ve cum rubbing it. just after are your folds, leaking pure nectar that starts to pool; his tongue laps it up before it drops. “i’d be happy to perish if it was your pretty little pussy suffocating me.”
you roll your eyes even when his words had a clear effect on you, “since when were you so dramat— f-fuck!” nanami dives in without warning, licking and sucking your clit with his tongue, eyes closed from enjoying his meal. your lover groans, pulling you down more and more although you still subconsciously hover, “put your weight on me, princess. do it.”
nanami plunges his tongue into your hole, nose nudging your clit and it’s the one thing that gets you releasing your hold on your thighs, choking out mewls of desperation as you grind down on his face. soon, your hands take hold of his blonde hair, too, tugging on him to get him deeper. there’s a sharp inhale from below you and you meet his eyes, the stoic, dead look and yet you know the look of the overflow of love and lust for you anywhere — it can only be found in nanami kento’s eyes.
“k-kentoo… feels s’good…” you moan, pulling your weight back to support yourself with your arms, with the intent to land a hand on his aching dick. you squeeze, earning a low groan from the other at your sneaky move and he removes his mouth from you for a second.
“sneaky lil slut, aren’t you?” nanami laughs breathlessly before latching back onto your pussy, sending vibrations through your body when you press down on his cock once again. he loves it, hips lifting off the bed to meet your hand, while yours ground down on his relentless tongue.
“dirty baby… mhmp— my pretty, pretty wife sitting here, frilly apron and all,” nanami reaches up to turn your face down towards his, “fucking herself while i wasn’t home. i’m not sure if she deserves to cum.”
you immediately whine, the prospect of being denied your orgasm makes you delirious, abandoning your initial mission to tease as you switch to grinding your lower half into nanami’s face. “kento— i wanna cum, p-ple— oh, fuck!”
his tongue has descended to your hole, his thumb rubbing your clit instead. the sensations are too much, back arching and legs closing in around your husband’s head. “’m close— can i c-cum, please? please please mmfh—”
he could never hold you back from what’s natural, after all, he loves seeing you come apart, moans stuck in your throat and skin glimmering with a slight sheen of sweat — he’s memorised how you cum at this point, and you do just that when your thighs thrash around his head, hips stuttering as you come undone.
“cumming—! ’m cumming, ’m cumming!” you cry out his name, riding out the delicious high. nanami doesn’t stop his ministrations, helping you through your climax until you’re pushing at his shoulders because you’re so sensitive. 
nanami is far from done, though, helping you to scooch back down as he sits up, capturing your lips in a slow kiss. you taste yourself on his mouth, cumming so much that when you pull away, there’s a string that connects your lips together and nanami has to compose himself.
“you okay?” you wordlessly nod, making quick work of his pants, hearing a relieved sigh escape from the other when his cock is finally out. he has a pretty dick, always in awe before you have to take him, but you do it with no problem, the mushroom tip stretching your hole as you sink down on him. you’re so wet that your juices are dripping down his shaft, easing your way down as he mumbles praises in your ear, sending the hairs on your arm standing when he lets out a guttural groan once he bottoms out.
“there’s my girl… taking me so fuckin’ well,” nanami pecks your forehead as you start to move, arms looped around his shoulders for stability as you bounce on his cock, cries of his name interrupted by your moans. “feel so tight for me, shit.”
“’s all for you, kento,” you babble, tits bouncing as you make work of your hips. your thighs feel like cramping, your core is aching, but nanami’s fat cock just feels so good in you, filling up every part of your cunt that you can hardly give a shit, “my pussy’s y-yours… ah!”
“yeah? mine for me to cum in?” nanami wraps his arms around you, both of you falling back though it doesn’t stop your man from thrusting up into you. it’s so deep, hitting a spot that you let out a loud whimper, body limply sagging against your husband’s as he continues to ram into your poor, little cunt. with each thrust, there’s the slap of his pelvis against your ass, your cum making webs that connect his hips to your core and he’s groaning about how you got so tight from wanting to be filled.
“ye—yeah, yeah, wan’ your cum, kento,“ you mumble with a whine, your second orgasm approaching while your let him ruin you, cumming on a particular thrust that has your body tensing and muscles spasming, profanities and obscene sounds falling from your mouth before the man below you grunts.
“good girl, t-take my cum, baby,” nanami whispers, receiving drunken ‘yes’s’ from you and his thrusts halting before his eyes are rolling back, spurting his seed into you. he releases deep into you, thick ropes of cum that fill up your pussy until it’s spilling out from the sides. “that’s it…”
but while nanami is ready to receive your drowsy, lovestruck state, you have other plans, sitting up just a little while your hips continue to bounce on him. small pants leave your mouth, the sloppy, lewd sounds that your pussy makes only spur nanami on again, holding your body close to his while he promises to take care of his wife like a good husband does, indulging in your indecent desires, fucking you like a good girl and pumping you full of his cum until it’s all you can think about.
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multiland · 11 months
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summary: They say people turn into their most vulnerable selves in the middle of the night, can you trust yourself at 3 a.m. to keep hiding the crush you've been harboring on your friend?
pairing: Joshua x female reader (ft. best friend Jeonghan and the rest of svt)
genre: friends to lovers, fluff, smut.
warnings: kissing, tension, fingering, a bit of oral (m), mutual pining, cursing, mentions of alcohol, Joshua being oblivious, soft dom Joshua, body worshipping, dirty talk, unprotected sex. Shua is the sweetest. This was an old fic I wrote for another group, so I decided to take it and edit it enough to use it again.
please leave some feedback!! it motivates me a lot🩷
word count: 12k
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You’ve heard a lot of good things about turning twenty-seven, and despite you not being the biggest fan of celebrating your birthdays, you weren’t surprised the moment your group of friends decided to book a trip to celebrate properly.
Consisting of mostly males, you’re used to them taking every opportunity to drink and throw parties. However, since spending time with them is fun and makes you happy, you would never actually complain.
"Do you think it's gonna be like, really cold out there?" That's the main question spinning around your head as you stare at your open closet, still debating on which pieces of clothing are the ones that should be packed.
Jeonghan, who's sprawled on your bed with his back against the headboard as he scrolls through social media, hums, not looking up.
He’s been your best friend since high school. You had heard about him back then due to his prince-like appearance, and him unsurprisingly having every single girl wrapped around his finger. Funny enough, and seemingly accustomed to the attention, he never really batted an eye at any of them. Despite being aware of his almost-unrealistic beauty, you didn’t really gave much thought to anything related to him besides whatever you’d hear the girls fussing about across the corridors. 
But then, on a good day, you found each other rolling your eyes at the same girl’s annoying tone of voice, the two of you realized and even chuckled. It was an instant click and you’ve been inseparable since then. 
A perfect balance between being different but so similar at the same time. You truly didn’t believe in soulmates, but turns out you can find one in the shape of a friend.
It had never occurred to you, however, that befriending the prince of school would instantly make you part of a much bigger group of, admittedly, really good-looking guys and girls when you started college.
That’s what brings you here.
"What do you think, Sherlock?" He quirks a brow, as he glances up in your direction. "We're going to the mountains, there's no way it's gonna be hot up there unless it’s like, a volcano."
An annoyed sigh falls past your lips as you roll your eyes at his antics, grabbing different styles of sweaters, hoodies, jackets, and all that could be of use in such weather. Turning around, you carefully fold your clothes and place them into the opened suitcase at the edge of the bed.
"Please remind me. Why were we going to the mountains instead of the beach, again?" 
Jeonghan's lips curl up in a soft smirk, locking his phone and tossing it to the side before his eyes land on yours.
"Because going to the beach is too basic. We always go to the beach."
"So all of you just decided to go on a trip to the cold ass mountains and rent wooden cabins in the middle of April in the name of… What? Eccentricity?" You narrow your eyes. "Yeah. Sounds like something my group of friends would do."
The man chuckles.
"Don't be a brat. You didn't have to pay for anything, this is your birthday gift from us, and all you have to do is look pretty and try to get your grumpy ass to have fun." 
You fold your arms over your chest, raising a brow at his words.
"Yeah, sounds like my dream holiday having to babysit drunk adults."
He clicks his tongue, shaking his head.
"Look, complain all you want once we’re back. Let’s not ruin the mood." He insists. "Besides, since it's your birthday, you can avoid all kinds of responsibilities. But you don't tell them I told you that or i’ll make sure to bring Soonyoung to your bed when he’s drunk and crying."
Panic instantly crosses your features.
“My lips are totally sealed.” It's a promise, gesturing to zip them with your fingers.
Plopping yourself down onto the mattress, you lay your head on Jeonghan’s lap. His slender fingers immediately fly to thread in your hair, gentle scraps on your scalp relaxing your body.
"Then, does that mean you're gonna take care of them for me?" You ask, looking up at his face in hope, trying your best puppy eyes just to guilt trip him.
Jeonghan scoffs.
"Me? No way. I did it once and ended up having both Seokmin and Soonyoung sneaking into my bed. Soonyoung kept crying and Seokmin just laughed at him. They were so loud I had to leave the room. Not to mention I had to wash the damn sheets cause one of them vomited in the middle of the night."
Grimacing at the thought, you really try not to laugh at the same time.
“Sounds like a ride.” You tease. "What about Seungkwan?"
Dark eyes glare down at you.
"He was sleeping peacefully in his bed."
"Why didn't one of them go to his bed?"
Sighing, he says: "I didn’t let them move. Having these two drunk is one thing, having these two drunk and Seungkwan cursing at the top of his lungs at three in the morning is something entirely different. We’ve had complaints from the neighbors."
"Yeah… I wouldn’t risk it, either."
Then, he chuckles.
"The best option is leaving them to either Cheol or Minghao." You nod in agreement, “Preferably Cheol. Hao doesn’t have that much patience after a while.”
Right after, his phone goes off and he checks the incoming message. "Well, here we go again." He comments, taking a deep breath before pressing the bridge of his nose between his fingers.
Your eyes open, brows knitting together as you sit up.
"What's up?"
"Soonyoung was betting with Seokmin and got his head stuck somewhere around the park fence." He explains, "Gotta go. Sorry."
He stands up, and you can do nothing but smile sympathetically at him.
"Good luck with that." With the same smile, you pat his arm. He steps forward and flicks on your forehead with his fingers, before walking to the door. You groan in response, rubbing the sore area.
"Don't forget the vans will be here at 7 a.m."
Right. You need to act like an early bird, and your first reaction to the reminder is a groan.
"How many times do I have to say I’m not a morning person?"
“The same amount of times I have to tell Soonyoung to keep his head out of any kind of holes.” He adds, waving one last time before finally exiting your room.
As soon as he leaves, you let out a big sigh. Truthfully, you’re intrigued by how this trip is going to be, and you kinda know for sure sleeping’s gonna be a challenge.
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The sound of your alarm pulls you out of the slumber you worked so hard to get in. Groaning, you stretch out your arm to stop the torture from continuing any further. Your lids don’t seem to cooperate, too tired and heavy to open and making you question if you really need to go on that trip to begin with. You could just call them and say you woke up feeling ill and you can’t leave the house while being sick, right?
As if on cue, you instantly have Jeonghan’s voice resonating in your head, telling you all the possible consequences of you bailing everyone when everything’s ready. All the ways he would blackmail you into getting up, in short.
So after taking a deep breath and stretching your limbs once again, you pull the duvet off of you and stand up, dragging your feet sleepily towards the bathroom to take a shower and get as ready as you can actually be.
Admittedly, you took longer than you should have thanks to all the times you dozed off in the shower, and that’s exactly what’s making you rush as your phone keeps buzzing incessantly against the marbled sink, with incoming calls from your best friend.
You can’t even make yourself look presentable at this point, messily throwing your clothes on and grabbing your luggage to drag downstairs, your hair still dripping wet.
“I’m coming, I’m coming!” You exclaim, picking up one of his calls, and then hanging up before you could even get a response from the other side of the line.
Turning the lights off, you open the front door and place the luggage down to close the entrance, trying to catch your breath, cause for fuck’s sake, you’re still sleepy, it’s early in the morning and you already not only had to run downstairs, but also carry such a heavy suitcase on your own…Cause if you’re being honest, you probably packed more than what you needed for a weekend-long trip.
The sound of the van’s door sliding open can be heard from behind, as you lock the door. The wet droplets falling from your hair dampen your shirt and make you shiver. However, nothing prepares your body for the reaction it gets as soon as you turn around and see him.
Standing there, perfect silky hair dangling over his eyes and curling up at the nape of his neck. Sparkly round orbits narrowed in a try to protect themselves from the inclement rays of sunshine, and pretty lips forming the sweetest tight-lipped smile you could’ve dreamed to have seen this early in the morning. Your heart skips a bit, and all the sleepiness washes away; all of this before you can even stop yourself from returning the gesture.
Joshua Hong. You met him one of those times when Jeonghan had dragged you to a small gathering with his friends, then finding him at the nearest convenience store you had from your job.
As soon as you saw him, you were instantly smitten. His doe eyes, cute nose, and sweet voice made the air get stuck in your throat. And as if being so incredibly pretty-faced wasn’t enough, there’s the plus of such a warm personality.
What at first started off as simple acquaitances with friends in common, slowly blossomed into a friendship. Joshua was often who spent time with you at parties, whenever Jeonghan was busy either playing alcohol games, or arguing over something random with someone else. He was also who you found at the book store in search of some kind of book so you could learn how to bake cupcakes in your sugar craving nights. He is, also, someone you feel totally comfortable with, someone selfless who never judges anyone. Someone with a view of the world in a positive light, a free spirit that only encourages you to be true to yourself and accept others as they are. 
All the times you’ve felt out of place, or simply aren’t in the mood to do anything at all, there he is to sit with you and listen to all your rants with that sweet smile adorning his face, just as if you were telling him the most interesting of stories.
He’s a music enthusiast. Likes to play guitar and morning walks to clear his mind. Such sunchild like him was able to charm a moonchild like you. So different, but so similar at the same time.
Despite that, the two of you ended up having more things in common than you could’ve expected. None of you like confrontation, and often prefer spontaneity. Both enjoy rainy days, and spending time at home in front of a fireplace when winter arrives. He’s a gentleman, never speaks over anyone and rarely raises his voice. He’s patient, and always makes you walk on the inner side of the sidewalk.
All those little things did nothing but irremediably attract you, feel nothing but admiration towards the way he sees life and empathizes with you or others.
He’s sweet, and fun to be around. With a sweet laugh and authenticity, the way he’s so soft-spoken and the way he never hesitates to offer help with chores, he’s domestic, so down to earth, nothing short of a prince. A good friend, a good listener, and in truth, you could’ve considered him one of your closest friends if it wasn’t for a simple reason… As a best friend, you have Jeonghan for. In his case, you have a big, fat crush on. So, although sharing a lot of time together, you just can’t help the way your heart flutters whenever he’s around. With a friend you share teasing, pranks, messiness… With Joshua, you share peace, comfort.
The already too-long list of traits to make you fall for someone has had his name highlighted for a while, and it seems that he always finds a new way to make you fall even deeper. 
Like that day he sang his favorite song in front of you with his guitar in hand. You knew back then you were done for.
This crush you have on him is something you’ve been harboring, keeping to yourself as a precious secret, cause yeah, he’s your friend, but also if the way you look at him when he’s not even doing anything doesn’t give you away, then maybe everyone else is just oblivious.
Joshua makes his way over to you and your heart races. God, he looks so good and you look like you just rolled off your bed and fell into a puddle.
He smiles again and leans down to pick your suitcase, looking into your eyes as soon as he stands up back straight.
“Good morning. How are you feeling?”
“Morning, Shua. I’m doing good, what about you?” Greet him back, a simple task it should be. But your voice betrays you and comes out in almost a whisper. Since you can't make it obvious, you gnaw at your lower lip in embarrassment. However, Joshua being Joshua, pays no mind.
“I’m great, thank you. Let me help you with this.”
And they say chivalry is dead. Your lips form a smile, following behind him on the way to the van.
“Thank you.” You say softly, stopping behind him as he places your luggage somewhere with the rest of the suitcases.
“My pleasure.”
You flinch when the van parked behind suddenly opens its door, and the next thing you hear is your name being called from the inside. The voices of Soonyoung, Seungkwan, Seokmin, and Chan, who you find waving at you as soon as you turn your head. With a chuckle, you wave back at them, gesturing with your hand for them to stop the noise before someone gets mad right after.
Joshua meets your gaze when you look back, and gestures with his head for you to get in. You smile again because that’s all you can do when he’s around.
Then you hop in the vehicle and Jeonghan waves at you from the last row of seats at the back. Making your way over, you keep the same small smile, noticing the sleeping boys across the other seats before you plop down next to your friend.
The door closes right after Joshua hops back in, and you’re stealing glances at him until the man next to you grabs your face between his fingers and turns your head to look at him. He frowns.
“Any reason in particular why you’re soaking?”
Your brows knit together, and he releases you.
“Just felt like getting refreshed.”
Your best friend snorts, and you shoot him a glare in return.
“You fell asleep in the shower, didn’t you?”
“Shut up.”
He giggles, and you decide to ignore him as the car starts moving, fastening your seatbelt. It doesn't take long until your eyes fly back to the object of your desires.
You don’t know how you’re gonna survive being so close to him.
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Three hours into the road trip and you’re sleeping soundly against Jeonghan’s shoulder while he scrolls through his phone. The van comes to a stop, so everyone is able to go to the bathroom or buy more snacks. Some of the boys are gathering outside before Jun approaches Seungcheol and Joshua.
“Hey, do you guys think I could move to your van? My seatbelt isn’t working and I’ve been panicking over every single bump on the road for like three hours, I’m exhausted.”
Seungcheol and Joshua laugh.
“Why would you wait three hours to say anything?” Seungcheol asks, tilting his head in confusion. Jun’s brows furrow together before he says:
“What else was I supposed to do? Stop the van in the middle of nowhere?”
“You could’ve called me and I would’ve asked the driver to pull over to take care of it.” The eldest shrugs, Jun groans.
“Can I go to your van or not?”
Seungcheol looks at Joshua, who shrugs as he sips on his water bottle.
“Sure, I can move to the last row.”
Jun smiles with his thumbs up before they make their way back to the van. Junhui goes to the other vehicle to take his pillow and bring it with him. Joshua, once inside, grabs some of his stuff and walks toward the back of the car. Seeing you asleep as the corners of his mouth curl up in the most subtle smile at the scene, right when Jeonghan looks up at him in question.
“Jun is moving to this van.” He says quietly as if reading the male's mind. Jeonghan nods and goes back to his business.
The slender Junhui finally hops into the van with his stuff, taking Joshua’s previous seat and fastening his seatbelt. The door slides closed and Joshua secures himself as well, tucking his AirPods in his ears and playing his music.
Everything is peaceful for the next thirty or so minutes, Joshua is currently with his hands shoved into the pockets of his coat, head back resting against the headrest as his mind focuses only on the music.
But then, you stir in your sleep and move to lean your head on his shoulder. His body tenses as soon as he feels your sudden proximity, face nuzzling in the crook of his neck and forcing him to gulp. He starts playing with his own fingers, averting his gaze from the window, not really knowing how to react. He waits for you to realize, but soon notices you’re still deeply asleep, so he lets you stay there for the rest of the road.
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“Hey, wake up, we arrived,” Jeonghan calls, gently shaking you. “Hey, open your eyes,” He repeats, and you’re finally woken up, sitting straight and rubbing your eyes to help them get used to the light.
Disoriented for a moment, the gears in your brain slowly start to work at their normal speed. You stretch out your now sore limbs as you look at your surroundings. All the boys left their vans except you, Jeonghan trying to wake you up, and Joshua, whom you notice is still seated beside you. You frown, but he smiles.
“Wait, weren’t you sitting in the front row? What did I miss? How long did I sleep?”
He chuckles, charmed by your utter confusion.
“Well, yeah, but Jun moved to this van. You would’ve noticed if you hadn’t been sleeping for four hours,” Jeonghan is the one to respond, grabbing your hands and pulling you up.
“Four hours?!” You exclaim, rubbing your eyes. 
The faintest grunt manages to be hidden from you, and all of you three make your way to exit the van. Jeonghan is the first one to jump out, followed by Joshua. Your vision is still blurry and you’re still clumsy from the grogginess, which doesn’t make the calculation between the van and the floor an easy task.
Joshua notices, so he extends his hand for you to take. You look at it, then at his face. He offers you yet another gentle smile and your stomach flips even in your current state. Still, you smile back and accept his hand, clasping yours around it as he helps you land on your feet without an issue.
You reunite with the rest of the guys soon after, and they’re quick to erase any trace of tiredness as soon as they start being their loud selves, taking turns to hug you or pat your head.
And well, you don’t complain, because it’s nice to have all of them around.
You take a second to look at your surroundings, but the air is way too filled with haze to be able to distinguish anything at all. The cold breeze chills you to the bone and you start to feel the urge to get into to the warmth of the cabin, and as if your prayers had been heard, you spot Seungcheol walking with a few pairs of keys and two girls in their twenties following behind him.
“Okay. So,  we have four cabins at our disposition. In the first one will stay Minghao, Seokmin, Vernon and Jihoon. Junhui, Chan, Seungkwan and Soonyoung in the second one, Jeonghan, Wonwoo and Mingyu in the third, and lastly, the fourth one is for Joshua, myself, and our girl here.” He explains. “They the hosts, Jihye and Jangmi.”
The ground beneath you quakes at the thought of sharing a place with Joshua himself, breath hitching in your throat and mouth going dry. Your eyes nervously travel to the two girls in front of you, as if asking for help. They don't help you, but they also seem very welcoming and kind.
“Hi, I’m Jihye. We live here in a house that’s around the corner, and we’ll gladly be available for anything you may need.” She smiles. “The four cabins are equipped with furniture, fireplaces, kitchens, two bathrooms, and four rooms respectively. Each room has a TV, a heater, a desk, and a closet for you to place all of your items.”
“In the living room you’ll find the fireplace, comfortable couches, and even a sofa bed. In the kitchen, you have a small dining table, a microwave, a refrigerator, and different kinds of utensils for you to use,” The second girl adds. “Here in the common areas, you have some benches, picnic tables, and grillers. We also have wifi and my name is Jangmi, by the way.” She chuckles, and all of you laugh along.”
“Also, the bathrooms have a water heater and a first aid kit inside the cabinets. If you need anything else, please don’t hesitate to reach out and we’ll be happy to help.” Continues Jihye, with a kind smile.
All of you bow in gratitude for their help, right before Soonyoung speaks.
“Are you aware that we’re throwing a party tomorrow night?” He asks in genuine curiosity, Jihye nods.
“Yeah, we’ve been notified and you don’t have to worry about anything. Since we’re in a mountain, there shouldn’t be a problem when it comes to music, for example.”
“Cool!”
“Okay but, I have a question.” You finally speak, feeling everyone’s eyes landing on you. You clear your throat. “Would it be weird if I asked you to join?”
Certainly, you don’t know these girls, but they seem very sweet and it would be awful of you not to, at least, ask them if they’d like to join when they’re so close.
“Oh that’s alright! You don’t have to.” One of them says, waving her hand dismissively.
“But we’d love it if you joined us,” Seokmin says, walking to you and placing his arm around your neck. “It’ll be fun.”
All of them agree, and the girls seem a bit taken aback, you suppose they’ve never been included in anything similar when it comes to tourists. But then, and after a quick glance to one another, they smile.
“If that’s okay with you, we’d love to.”
You smile at them.
“Then it’s settled up.”
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Needless to say, you didn’t take long to stop by Jeonghan’s cabin. After taking a much-needed shower and getting diner, you dressed in your coziest pajamas and exited your place to visit your best friend.
And there you are, sprawled across his bed as he sits on the chair in front of the desk.
Staring up at the ceiling fan, you blurt out:
“I was hoping we’d stay at the same cabin.”
“Don’t pretend like you like me that much.” Jeonghan promptly responds. Teasing you as you prop yourself up with your elbows to glare at him. “You have the Hong Jisoo himself in there, what else could you ask for as a birthday gift?”
A faint gasp escapes you, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at him. He laughs out loud.
“Shut the fuck up, would you?” You whisper-shout, crawling to the edge of the bed to get closer. He tries to stop laughing but your distressed expression makes it impossible for him. “I shouldn’t have said anything to you. No one’s supposed to know.”
“Yeah, because no one would ever notice the way you shamelessly keep staring at him.”
“You’re exaggerating.” You groan, smacking his thigh while he continues laughing. “Cut it out, you asshole.”
His laugh slowly dies down, then he catches his breath.
“Anyway… Not the point.” He continues. “He’s going to be in the room across from yours. Would you really want to have me there instead of him?”
There it is. That stupid look with a quirked brow. He really knows you well.
You groan, covering your face with your palms before laying down on your back.
“You’re so fucking annoying”
“I wonder how you’ll react when I tell you that you slept on him for over an hour.”
Eyes flying open, you almost fall off the bed.
“What did you say?! What the fuck? I did not, you always like to see me distressed. You’re fucking with me.” Embarrassment floods inside you, grabbing another pillow to repeatedly hit him with it as a coping mechanism.
Jeonghan once again laughs at your reaction, covering himself with his arms before snatching the pillow away.
“Stop it with the damned pillow.” He groans. “And no, I’m not lying. Though I do love the way you’re losing your shit.”
“How am I supposed to look at him whe-” You trail off, “Wait, did I drool? Snore? Fart?” Jeonghan laughs again. “Stop laughing for fuck’s sake, Yoon Jeonghan. I’m going to bite your head off!”
“God you’re so dramatic.” He chuckles. “Nothing big, he’ll understand if you’re a bit gassy.”
“What?!”
He laughs out loud again.
“I’m just kidding. You didn’t do anything.”
“What kind of best friend are you?”
“The one you chose, sweetheart.” He teases, grabbing your chin with his fingers and winking at you. You roll your eyes, then smack his hand away.
The door opens right after, and Vernon's head pops in.
“Hey, wanna watch a movie with us?”
“Who are ‘us’?” You ask in return.
“Ehh… I don’t know? Kwan, Chan, Hao, Jun, Joshua… Me?” He shrugs. “Most of us.”
Giving it a thought, you end up realizing you don't truly feel like making a fool of yourself any further, so you smile and shake your head.
“I think I’ll pass. I have to unpack and I’m feeling tired.”
“Sure. See you tomorrow then.” Vernon smiles, waving before closing the door.
Jeonghan gives you a suspicious look.
“What?”
“You slept the whole road and you’re tired?”
“Well, yeah… Panicking is exhausting.” You respond, gaining a roll of his eyes in return. “I’ll go to my room and think about my life decisions. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”  You add, walking towards the door.
“Sure, just know I’ll tell Joshua you didn’t stay because of him.”
You glare back at your best friend. He laughs.
“Make sure I don’t touch your coffee in the morning, Yoon Jeonghan”
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You’re snuggled up in the warmth of the designated bed, sleeping peacefully until the door slams open and a bunch of men enter the room singing very loudly a happy birthday.
A groan erupts from your throat against the pillow, lights being turned on before you can even sit up and rub your eyes to adjust to the sudden illuminance. The cheerful idiots continue singing off key on purpose, clapping as Seungcheol walks to you with a cake in his hands, candles already lit and ready for you to blow off.
You can’t help but smile at the sweet gesture, though, running your fingers through your hair in a failed try to look a little less disheveled. Jeonghan jumps onto the opposite end of your bed, kneeling as he also sings and claps. Soonyoung, on the other hand, climbs onto the edge of the mattress just to sing louder and start throwing some improvised confetti. They continue hollering, clapping, and overall being a mess. Then you make a wish, blowing the candles out right after. Lazy smile on your face, clapping along with them.
“Happy birthday!”
“Thank you, guys. If it wasn’t for the gesture, I would’ve murdered all of you for waking me up.” You sarcastically say, accepting the knife Seungcheol hands you and cutting a small piece of cake.
“Aren’t you eating?” Chan asks from behind, you shake your head.
“You guys eat first. I still have to wash up.”
With that, Seokmin takes the cake away from you and exits the room with some of the guys following behind.
“We still have to go grocery shopping for tonight,” Seungcheol says.
“Yeah, I can go with Jeonghan.”
“I’ll go too. Jihye is going to come with us to be a guide,” Cheol adds. “Do you wanna join, Shua?” He asks the man standing next to him, the same one whose presence you hadn’t noticed until now. A sudden wave of embarrassment flows throughout you, considering the way you look, cheeks warming up when he smiles.
“Sure, no problem.”
“Okay then we’ll meet outside in thirty minutes,” Seungcheol adds. Stepping closer, he pats your head lovingly. “Happy birthday, once again.”
You mumble a “Thank you.” at him, eyes briefly glancing over at Joshua, who only gives you another one of his gentle and reassuring smiles before walking out of the room.
Jeonghan is quick to engulf you in a hug, a hand stroking the hair at the back of your head.
“You’re an oldie now.” He mutters against your head. “Can you feel your thirties breathing on your neck yet?"
You roll your eyes and push him away, glaring at him. He chuckles.
“Get out, I have to take a shower.”
“Right, sleeping beauty.” He leaves another caress on your head accompanied by a soft smile, “Don’t forget to brush your teeth, that dragon breath will even scare the demons away.”
Covering your mouth with your hands, your face is soon face filled with distress.
“Jeonghan!”
He laughs loudly, standing up and making his way towards the door.
“Just kidding, see you later.” He shuts the door closed behind him after a very obnoxious wink.
Air fills up your lungs with a deep breath, Jeonghan's comment sobering you up immediately and forcing you to hurry off the bed to get into the bathroom, take a shower and get dressed.
As soon as you’re ready, you grab a scarf from the closet, then your phone to make your way out of the cabin, not before stealing a very much needed piece of cake.
The sunlight greets you when you walk through the door, its usual warmth doing nothing in contrast to the freezing air that collides against the exposed skin of your face. You’re quick to wrap the scarf around your neck, boots dragging across the grassy ground as you pull your phone out to of your pocket to send Jeonghan a message.
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A sigh leaves your lips, and you're shoving your phone back into your pocket the moment you find Joshua already standing there, hands in his pockets and fluffy hair shining under the sunlight.
He's craning his neck as soon as he notices your presence, smiling at you.
“Good morning, again.” 
“Nice seeing you again, birthday girl.” He greets you back, stepping closer and patting your head sweetly. His touch is gentle, way more gentle than Jeonghan’s or any others. He’s careful and sweet. Still, you chuckle to not make it weird.
“It's like I'm a like a dog. Everyone’s been patting my head today.”
Joshua chuckles, a small cloud of fog escaping from his lips to remind you of the cold surroundings, even when you seem to have forgotten about it with the heat in your veins.
“I’m sorry, we are really annoying.”
Laughing, you shake your head.
“No, no. It’s okay, I don’t mind.” You assure, wishing you could add how you’re especially fond of his gentle touches. “I know that’s your way of showing affection.” You add. Because that’s what you hope in your head, that somehow, he have affection for you.
“Of course.” A light and melodious chuckle resonates after his response, patting your head once again.
Silly little giggles are the only thing that come from you in result.
Then, he looks behind you. His smile grows and he lifts his hand up to wave. When you turn around, you see what he’s staring at.
Seungcheol and Jihye make their way towards the two of you.
“Ready to leave?” 
“Yeah, we are.” You smile, rubbing your hands together in search of warmth.
“Bonding, aren’t we?” Seungcheol teases, making you smile.
“You could say that.”
You look at Joshua after responding, he chuckles, and your stomach flips.
“Alright then! Follow me, the store is nearby.” Jihye finally speaks, soon having the three of you following her lead.
The walk is quick and chill, something you’re grateful for considering how cold it is outside. When you arrive at the market, you grab a cart and start walking.
“Okay, so, what do we need?” You ask Cheol, who gives it a brief thought.
“Some drinks, snacks, plates, cups? Preferably plastic ones. Also, some trash plastic bags to clean in the morning.”
“Okay, the plasticware is here at the right. The snacks and drinks are on the opposite side, where the refrigerators are." Jihye explains, hands gesturing as she points to the directions.
“Good. I’ll go with Jihye and you can take care of the snacks and drinks.” He says to both Joshua and you. “Pick whatever you want, it’s your birthday.”
“I might take the whole store with me, then.” You joke, and he chuckles.
The four of you part ways, with you and Joshua going together. He takes you by surprise by sneaking one of his hands in between your arms. You look up at him, confused.
“I’ll do it.” He smiles. You accept the offer with a smile and move aside to let him take your place. Your heartbeats increase in speed at the simple act of chivalry, while you're also trying to distract yourself by eyeing up the shelves.
How’s it possible that he hasn't noticed the way his mere presence puts your whole world upside down?
Looking at all the different flavors, sizes, and textures of potato chips, Doritos, and sweets that are displayed, you decide to quietly contemplate the ones you're craving the most. Joshua's soft voice in the distance lets you be aware that he’s gonna go and grab some beers while you make up your mind.
Since you're such an indecisive individual, you start grabbing packs randomly. Salty, spicy chips, some peperos, and even some biscuits for a change. It's now your mission to find those celestial Honey Butter Chips you’d die for, and when you finally spot them, you groan because of fucking course they had to be placed at the top of the shelf and very much impossible for you to reach them.
How cliché is that?
Still, you try, because one can’t let one's pride be wounded, plus, you’re way too introverted to ask for help anyway. Standing on tiptoes with one arm holding the rest of the snacks, you stretch out your free limb and try to, at least, make one of the damned bags fall to the floor. You don't make it, though. The tips of your fingers barely graze against the bag.
“Need some help?”
The man's voice makes you freeze on the spot. Brain malfunctioning as soon as you feel his breath on your neck. His huge hand reaches for the chips, all of this in seemingly slow motion. You stay there, paralyzed and with your eyes glued to him.
Stepping back, he holds the bag of chips in front of him, wiggling it. His lips curl up sweetly.
“I got you.” 
It's automatic, the way you start detailing every single feature of that gorgeous face. The smoothness and melanin of his skin, the roundness of his lips, and the intense but glowing irises of his dark eyes. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone this pretty in your life.
He snaps you back into reality once he tilts his head, noticing you’ve been staring for too long. You mentally slap yourself, cheeks red in embarrassment at the possibility of making him uncomfortable. The only solution seems to be clearing your throat and looking away.
“Thanks, Shua.”
“You’re welcome.” He says, hand placing the item inside the cart and starting to move again, “You should’ve asked me, though, I was right there.”
“Sorry, I didn’t want to bother you. I could do it myself.” This is your insecurity speaking, or the first cheap excuse you have now decided to throw. Whatever suits best the situation.
Joshua can only laugh at that, moving his hand to place it on top of your head. You turn your gaze in his direction, like a deer in headlights as he smiles at you, leaning against the handle on his elbow.
“I know you can.” He coos, caressing the top of your head and sending sparks throughout your body. “Just let yourself be pampered today.”
A smile creeps up your face, finding it hard to look away but doing it anyway. The two of you start walking around the store, and somehow it’s like you two are partners in crime. Stealing glances and soft smiles, slightly bumping into each other. You feel it then, the way warmth radiates from him and embraces you. It’s not cold whenever he’s around.
Soon, you cross paths with Seungcheol and Jihye again. Make your way to the cashier and be ready to pay for everything to go back to the cabins.
On your way back, you spot an ice rink. There are just a few people skating at this time of the day. Your eyes light up instantly.
“Woah, I didn’t know there was one of these in here.” You mumble, your three companions standing next to you.
“Oh! That’s a popular spot for families and tourists to have fun. We love to bring our friends sometimes.” It's Jihye's voice that follows, explaining as you smile at the sight of some children having fun in their ice skates.
“I can imagine, it looks so fun.”
You're having a moment with your inner child. There will be time later to get to the point of embarrassment. That, of course, if you don't notice the way Joshua looks at you ever so fondly.
“Wanna skate for a bit?”
Unexpected. That's what Joshua's question is. You're looking back at him, tilting your head.
“I would, but there are things to set for tonight.”
“You don’t need to worry about that,” Seungcheol assures then, smiling at you. “It’s your birthday, we will take care of everything. You can stay here and have fun.”
His words bring an instant grin to your face.
“Really? Should I?”
“Of course! It’s on the house!” 
Oh, sweet Jihye.
“Oh no no, I can pay for it, you don’t have to!”
She shakes her head dismissively.
“That’s alright! The owners are family friends. Take it as a birthday gift.”
How can you not smile at her kindness?
“Thank you.”
“Alright let me grab these,” Cheol speaks, snatching the bags you’ve been holding. “Shua, take care of her and all of that.”
“Of course.”
Joshua looks at you then, a sweet and comforting smile being sent in your direction.
“I’ll see you guys in a while!” Then you say, as you wave at them goodbye.
“Alright, let’s get ready.”
Joshua nods his head for you to follow him, and of course, you do.
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You certainly didn’t think this through. All things considered.
It shows the moment you put the skates on. Wobbly legs make their way into the rink. It’s not as easy as you imagined.
“I think this wasn’t a good idea.”
Now you're holding onto the walls for dear life, speaking to yourself, and reconsidering your choices in life. Then, you spot Joshua a few meters away. Skating on the ice as if it were nothing, his hands in his pockets, and the wind blowing his hair.
He then turns around in search of you, taking a few seconds to actually find you. As soon as he does, he laughs at the scene of you in the very corner.
He moves closer to you, and you’re so, so embarrassed you want the damn ice to melt and let you drown in it.
“You okay there?”
You want to let out the loudest whine, but you must act your age this time. You can't possibly make more of a fool of yourself in front of the man you like.
“Just peachy.”
You're clawing onto the brick wall, almost counting the seconds until you’re ass planted on the floor.
Joshua's big hand grabs one of your wrists, and you look at him with panic.
“Come on, let’s help you out.”
“Wait wait, I’ll fall, Joshua!” 
There it is. The whine you desperately wanted to hold made it to the surface. It only makes him laugh even more.
“You’re okay, I won’t let you fall.” A bold statement for someone who clearly doesn't know the great amount of clumsiness encased in such a little body. He continues pulling you away from the wall and holding onto your hands. “Just relax, yeah?”
He starts skating backward slowly. You don't know how he manages to be so relaxed as you cut the circulation from his fingers. But it'll have to do.
“This was such a bad idea, I’m so embarrassed.”
He starts loosening the grip on your hands. Realization hits you instantly, eyes flying open as he distances himself from you.
"Don't you fucking dare, Hong Jisoo! Come back here!"
Chuckle after chuckle. Seems like you're his main source of comedy today.
“You can do it.”
“Joshua Hong, you better come and hold my fucking hands.”
It's a threat, but he doesn't see it as such, even with your gritted teeth. He only looks down at you, clearly amused.
“Come on, you’ll be fine. It's not that bad, is it?"
“Why are you doing this to me? My mistake was thinking you'd be better than Yoon Jeonghan but I was clearly wrong. I swear to god you’ll pay the hospital bills when my bones break, and I hope you feel guilty for the rest of your life, cause how can you do this shit to me, Jisoo. I absolutely despise the sh-”
“Stop ranting and look at yourself.” 
And you do. With a chuckle, you slowly and clumsily move your legs.
“Oh, would you look at that? I’m actually doing it.” You laugh, looking up at him. The fondness in his eyes sends butterflies to your stomach.
He comes closer then, and grabs your hands once again.
“Let’s move a little faster.” 
"Let's fucking not!"
He doesn’t even let you oppose before he’s moving quicker. You want to kill him for a moment, but then you're actually having fun, laughing together, very romantic.
Until you trip.
Thankfully, he’s quick to pull you onto him and wrap an arm around your waist to stop your fall.
Bodies pressing together, your hands placed against his chest, looking into his eyes.
“You okay?” He whispers, so close to your face you can actually see his condensed breath. 
You only nod, and for some reason, the two of you stay like this for a few seconds. Looking at each other, his eyes traveling between your eyes and down to your lips. 
You could swear he’s leaning in, maybe wishful thinking or whatever, but you can almost taste his lips.
But then he clears his throat and helps you stand straight.
“That was close.” He says with a small, nervous laugh. “Sorry if it was too much.”
Yeah, you're being delusional.
“No, it’s okay. It was fun.”
“Uh, well... It’s getting dark.” He continues, looking up at the sky, then looking back at you. “Should we head back?”
“Yeah, sure.”
He makes sure to help you get safely to the exit. It doesn’t take long for the two of you to go back to the cabins, that are sadly way too close to the rink… One hour alone with him wasn’t enough.
When you arrive, it saddens you to think that the special moment you shared with him is now over. Still, you wonder if what happened between you two back in the rink was really your imagination.
Your friends run to you as soon as they notice your arrival. They promise everything’s ready and all you need to do is get dressed and enjoy the party.
With a smile, you go back to your room and start getting ready.
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Later at night, everyone is already gathered outside. The boys whistle at you teasingly when you get out of your cabin, gaining a roll of your eyes in response.
“Stop it, you perverts.” 
“Lookin’ like a snack”
That's Soonyoung, now placing an arm around your neck with a proud grin. You quirk a brow, looking up at his face.
“What does that even mean?”
“He means you look hot,” Chan says, butting in.
“Ew,” Joking, you push Soonyoung away. He looks at you confused, so you laugh. “Just kidding.”
“You are a mean woman.” He exclaims in his usual dramatism.
Seokmin then comes and puts his arm around Soonyoung.
“I’ll take him. He’s a bit drunk.” With a wink, he starts pulling Soonyoung away, as he mutters “I’m not drunk!”
Chuckling, your eyes search for Joshua, who’s distracted and enrolled in a conversation with Minghao and Wonwoo. Your smile slightly falters, because somehow, you wish he had complimented you, too.
Chan then walks to you, placing an arm around your shoulder. You look at him in confusion, and he smirks, wiggling his eyebrows.
“So, how does it feel to be a noona?”
You snort.
“I’ve always been a noona to you.”
“You’re right. Didn’t know what to say, sorry.”
With another roll of your eyes, you push him away. The two of you laugh until you spot Jeonghan a moment later, and join him at one of the picnic tables.
Fresh steak is being grilled by Mingyu, music is being played by Vernon, and the rest are either drinking or sitting and having a chat. The two girls arrive not long after, shy at first but soon engaging easily in the conversation. You learn that they study online, Jihye is majoring in arts while Jangmi went into fashion design. Their parents have been renting cabins for years, and they plan to continue doing so when they are gone.
Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, you stand up from the picnic table to go for another beer, teeth clacking due to the freezing air. You get inside and grab an unopened can, switching it open and taking a swig. A grimace appears on your face at the cheap taste before turning around and going back outside.
You had planned to go back to the table, but your plans change when someone tugs at your wrist and stops you. You turn around and almost collide with Minghao’s figure. He grins.
“You look bored. Wanna dance?”
You smile.
“Sure.”
And that’s how it starts to get really fun, with the two of you dancing before at least another five of the boys join to dance along. It goes that way for a good part of the night, and admittedly, you don’t think you’ve had so much fun before.
These men’s antics are way too hilarious, as they keep clowning themselves without a care in the world despite the cold. That's when you decide it's time to go and grab Jihye and Jangmi by the hands, pulling them with you to join and dance, and they do, having fun when they feel comfortable enough.
You even see Joshua dancing along.
All of you dance until your limbs are exhausted, soon forcing you to excuse yourself. You grab another can of beer, this time deciding to take some fresh air on your own. Walking around until you find a nice spot on a little hill a few steps away, a bit quieter. 
You sit on the grass, knees pushed up and arms hugging them to keep yourself warm. You have a nice view of the city illuminated with different colored lights, something unexpected since all you’ve seen so far is haze.
Taking another swig of your drink, you let the cold wind touch your face. Everything is peaceful and quiet at the moment. Except for your mind.
Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you see the time being three in the morning. No wonder you suddenly feel so raw and vulnerable. 
Yearning that someone’s company so much is making your chest feel tight, and perhaps, your feelings aren’t just a simple crush at all.
A check on your social media shows the boys’ posts. There he is, with that beautiful smile of his that could light the whole town. Your heart flutters as you continue looking at his picture for who knows how long. A smile forms on your face, fingers grazing the shape of his face.
Then you hear someone’s footsteps approaching against the grass, eyes meeting with Jihoon’s right after. A subtle smile on his face when he sits right next to you.
“Hey, why aren’t you at your own party?”
You shrug.
“I just wanted to be alone for a while and think.”
Jihoon hums with a smile, looking ahead.
“Sounds dangerous.”
A small giggle leaves your lips. It's silent, only the breeze can be heard as you collect your thoughts.
“Jihoon,”
“Yeah?”
You crane your neck to look at him.
“Why do I always feel like I want to let my feelings out at this hour?
He thinks about it, leaning back against his palms.
“Well, you know what they say. Everyone turns into their most vulnerable self in the middle of the night. It’s often the time when I get the inspiration to compose.”
“I’m starting to understand what it truly means.” You confess with a nod. “It’s like I’m being overwhelmed with emotions, and I just wish I could lift them off my shoulders.”
Jihoon sits up straight and places his hand on yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze that you appreciate.
“If you feel the urge to let them out, maybe they don’t need to stay hidden.”
“But... It could have consequences.”
He retracts his hand and sighs.
“Yeah, but every decision has a result. Anything you do or say might lead to something, you can choose to find out what it is, or keep it bottled up and let it slowly consume you.”
You process his words carefully, smiling afterward.
“No wonder you’re so great at writing songs.”
“Had to find a productive way to let everything out.” He explains with a chuckle. “Wanna head back?”
“Yeah, I’ll reach you in a minute.”
Jihoon nods and stands up, walking back to where his friends are.
Grabbing your phone once again, fingers scroll through your contacts until you find his number and open the conversation.
There. Consider the possibilities. It’s the middle of the night. you know you can’t trust yourself at this hour, but somehow you’d rather get it off your chest now that you're feeling brave.
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That’s it. You’ve opened the gates to let your feelings escape. You hope it’s really worth it.
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You're still starting to feel the relief of lifting that weight off your shoulders, but also the uncertainty still managing to shoot a sprinkle of insecurity straight to your brain.
Locking your phone and shoving it back into your pocket, you feel nauseous and your heart is heavy. You fucked up. You know you did.
Sighing, you rest your forehead against your forearms. Your eyes flutter shut as you desperately try to stabilize your breathing. The knot in your stomach becomes painful, your throat tight enough to make your airways feel constricted.
Then, it's time to stand up. You’re not really sure how you’re gonna face Joshua, or the rest of the boys, for that matter. Not now that you decided it was a good idea to confess your feelings through a text message.
However, you stop in your tracks the moment you see Joshua. The air is completely knocked out of your lungs as he silently approaches.
Locks of hair subtly blow in the wind, the moonlight makes his skin glow oh, so gracefully, and his pupils are surely putting the stars at shame. His lips are slightly agape, subtle clouds of fog escaping from his mouth, erratic breathing hinting how he must’ve hurried to come and find you.
It's an urge for you to say anything, but your brain can’t even formulate coherent sentences.
“Josh-”
An arm of his wraps around your waist, pulling you against him before his lips are enclosing yours in a kiss, interrupting whatever excuse you were planning on using.
Eyes flutter close instantly, hands clasping around his wrists. The kiss is soft, sweet, and too short for your liking. He barely pulls back, lips still inches away from yours, noses brushing when he says: 
“I do like you.”
Joshua's thumb runs over your lower lip, staring down at you with half-lidded dark eyes. His smile appears right after, bright and contagious, a breathy chuckle falling from his mouth. You smile back, hands moving up to find purchase at the sides of his neck.
“Do you?”
Dumb question, but you can’t help but ask it.
“Yeah.” He promptly responds, pressing another chaste kiss against your mouth. “So much.”
“Lucky me.”
You're now the one who chuckles, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into another kiss.
Nothing could’ve ever prepared you for the way it feels to have his lips on yours. He's unsurprisingly a very skilled kisser. Knowing perfectly well how to move his lips slowly and delicious, the liplock accompanied by soft nips, sucks, and rhythmic movements against the other’s mouth. He tilts his head and pulls you further against his mouth, hands cupping your jaw. Your head spins in pure ecstasy.
The kiss breaks slowly, still in a daze when you detail the way his lips have turned red and swollen. His thumbs gently rub the skin of your cheeks, and it feels like you're about to vomit a whole zoo. He pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms around your body and embracing you tightly.
You bury your face in his chest and breathe him in. You embrace all of him and his sweet scent, letting your eyes close and humming contently as your fingers curl on the fabric of his coat.
“How are we going to explain this?”
“We don’t need to.” He says, pulling back and looking at you. “Seems everyone knew what was going on, except me.”
That certainly makes you laugh, cause you've been way too obvious all along.
“That’s embarrassing.”
“Tell me about it.” He agrees, placing a kiss on top of your head. “Wanna go back?”
He extends his hand palm up. You look down at it before intertwining your fingers, a smile on your face.
As soon as you arrive, the teasing begins.
“Took you both long enough!”
Seems like you ended up being the center of attention for a very different reason. Your cheeks burn as Joshua releases your hand and grabs your wrist instead, moving you to stand next to him, then placing his arm around your waist.
He's the one who decides to retort first.
“Yeah yeah, drop it already.”
“I was almost going to confess in her name at this point.” Jeonghan jokes, approaching the two of you.
“Still bitter you didn’t tell me shit,” Joshua confesses, your best friend shakes his hand and gives him a quick, brotherly hug.
“I could’ve, but she would’ve whined about it for years.”
A glare shoots in his direction straight from your eyes, smacking his chest, which makes him laugh.
“Who would’ve thought you can actually keep a secret?”
“Don’t test your luck, I still know plenty of things your new boyfriend would love to know.”
Joshua looks at you with a quirked brow, but you’re quick to grab his hand and start pulling him away.
“Anyway who wants to dance?!”
Joshua looks between you and Jeonghan, who's being left behind. He's clearly intrigued by the situation but follows you nonetheless.
You’ll remember to invite Jihoon to grab some food later.
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It's way past five when you're in your bed staring at the ceiling. Everyone must be either passed out somewhere or getting ready for bed since the sun will be rising soon.
There’s only one thing on your mind now that you’re back in your room.
You grab your phone and unlock it, looking for the conversation you started a few hours ago. Fingers typing almost on autopilot, hoping he’s still awake.
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Excitement fills your body when you place your phone back on the nightstand. It doesn’t take long until you hear a soft knock on the door.
“Come in!”
You soon see his face, his hand running through his slightly messy hair. Wearing a pair of sweats and a tank top that lets you admire his bare, toned biceps. Teeth sinking in your lip in anticipation, no one could ever look this good.
Scooting, you make room for him on your bed, lifting the covers so he can slide in. As soon as he does, you’re both face to face. It's so charming that even in his tired state, he smiles and places a soft kiss on your lips.
Burying your face in his neck and playing with the hairs at the back of his head, he hums, letting you know he appreciates the gesture before his arms wrap around your frame, pulling you even more into his.
“Hmm, you smell nice.” You admit, a breathy chuckle escaping from his mouth and making his chest vibrate against you.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
The sudden pet name sends a wave of sparks through your body, not to mention the arousal of knowing he’s using a pet name just for you.
“I could get used to you calling me nice things.”
Joshua pulls back to look into your eyes once again, a light smirk now forming on his lips.
“Yeah?”
Big hand lifts and runs its fingers through your hair.
“Yeah.”
The two of you stay quiet for a moment, but his eyes never leave yours. Smile slowly vanishing the more the tension in the room arises. His soft touches start to become bold, with a hand running from your neck to your shoulder, and from your shoulder down your arm.
“Your skin is so warm, so soft.” It's a mumble, barely audible, as his hand moves from your arm to your waist, gently pushing up the hem of your shirt and letting his hand travel through your curves.
His touch makes your skin erupt in goosebumps.
“I like it when you touch me.”
“Hmm. You shouldn’t say that to me.” He whispers, mouth ghosting over yours as his hand travels upwards, finding your ribs. “I don’t think I can hold back.”
“Then don’t.” 
His gaze darkens at your words, glued to yours in the barely illuminated room. Your body is now craving him, yearning for his touch after dreaming about him for so long.
Joshua then makes the next move, propping on his elbow, his upper half hovering over you. 
You look up at him when his hand comes in contact with your cheek. His beauty is immaculate under the moonlight peeking through the windows. There's so much want being shared. The sight of him on you is so alluring it’ll be engraved in your memory for the rest of your life.
The necklace hanging from his neck looks so tempting, makes you want to curl your fingers around it just to pull him in and succumb to your true desires.
“Then remember that you asked for it.” He speaks again. “I’m going to worship every inch of your skin and kiss at every corner the way I want, give you whatever you wish while making you mine.”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
He drags his fingers down your skin, eyes shifting from yours to down your lips.
“Fuck.”
Before anything else can be said, he leans in and kisses you. His kiss once again takes over all your senses. So slow, open-mouthed, and passionate. Your hands fly to the back of his head to tangle in his soft locks, kissing him in a way he could feel how much you’ve wanted to have him.
His thigh spreads your legs to position himself between them more comfortably. His big hands roam down your neck, shoulders, and waist, making sure that his fingers dance along every single inch of your skin, setting it aflame.
You nip at his lip, tugging gently and making him groan. The tip of your tongue teases the area before he lets his own dive into your mouth to press, roll, and play.
Both can feel the arousal pooling in your underwear, the heat and the need are unbearable. You're clenching around nothing, an effect only his kiss has caused. Pathetic, but real.
Joshua's mouth starts traveling from the corner of your lips, to your jaw and down your neck. You bite your lip again, trying not to whimper and melt into a piddle. Tilting your head back to give him more access, the heaviness in your breath is enough to agitate him, and soon you feel the hard tent in his sweatpants pressing against your thigh.
A lift of your hips and a slight grind are enough to make him curse under his breath as his fingers claw onto your waist.
“Fuck.” He grunts before his tongue gently laps at the exposed column of your neck. You scrap at his scalp, tugging on his hair before grinding on him again. His kiss travels upwards, finding your ear and nibbling on the lobe, “You’re gonna be the death of me.” He whispers, voice hoarse and lust-filled.
“Please, Joshua.” You can't help but beg, beg for him to give you more, pressing yourself against him as much as possible. “I need you.”
“I got you, baby. Let’s take your clothes off, yeah?”
He pulls back and slides his fingers under your shirt, lifting it and pulling it over your head before throwing it somewhere in the room.
His eyes get even more hooded at the sight of your bare breasts, pupils dilating as his hands start running down your bare torso, slowly, smoothly, the touch burning your skin. His palms enclose your chest, kneading gently, his thumbs run over the perked nipples, rolling them between his digits. You moan at the action, hands clasping around his biceps and nails clawing on his skin. He bites his lip as he watches every reaction of yours, finally lowering his head to wrap his lips around one of your nipples.
A whimper falls from your mouth the moment his tongue starts playing with your sensitive buds. He looks up, not wanting to miss any expression of yours as he continues to suck, lick, and suck again.
“Fuck, Shua, that feels so good.”
He hums, moving to the neglected breast and repeating the process. His free hand runs down your stomach, sliding under the waistband of your panties. Long middle finger soon sliding between your folds, pressing on the wet button and making you choke on a moan.
“So wet. I’ve barely touched you, baby.” He teases, pulling away from your nipple and smirking at you. His fingers start rubbing up and down, face hovering over yours, staring intently. He pushes two of his fingers into your hole, and your back arches against his chest.
His lips keep that smirk on, nodding at you while you moan. “That’s it. Feels good, yeah?”
You bite your lip and manage to nod.
Joshua starts pumping his fingers faster, moving his body from over you to get rid of your pants and your panties by dragging them down your legs. All of this without stopping with his ministrations.
There you are, in all your naked glory in front of him, so exposed and vulnerable, but not feeling scared because the way he looks at you is enough to make you feel so wanted.
“So pretty, all for me.” He leans down and grazes his lips against the skin of your tummy. Curling up his fingers, he grazes the perfect spot that makes you moan even louder. Eyes fixated on you with a quirked brow, followed by a breathy laugh. “If you keep being so loud, everyone’s gonna know how good you are at taking fingers, huh?”
You're really trying here, but you can't keep quiet. His teasing words only turn you on even more and make you clench around his digits, feeling your climax approaching at a rapid speed.
“Sorry.” You croak. “It feels so good.”
“I can tell, you’re clenching tightly. How are you going to take my cock?”
He seems to love teasing, as he places kisses on your thighs. Who would've thought? He's apparently not the same gentleman in bed, and you love it.
“I can do it. I will do it.”
Joshua stares at you with both pride and amusement. It’s almost enough to hide the fact that his dick is hard as a rock, but since he’s not trying to hide it, you promptly watch as his free hand moves to palm himself over his clothes.
“Then come for me, so we can make it happen.”
You should probably be more obedient, but you're so desperate you move your hands to the hem of his shirt to lift it up slightly and he quickly takes it off with a chuckle. The sight is hypnotizing, muscles divinely built for your hands to touch, smooth skin screaming to be kissed, and your mouth is watering.
Extending your hand, you run it over his torso, fingers dancing across his abs and chest as he sits on his ankles. The tight knot on your stomach soon releases with the sight of the naked man in front of you, and you reach your climax with chants of his name. Your back arching, legs shaking.
“That’s it. Such a good girl.” He praises, helping you ride out of your peak.
While you try to catch your breath, he pulls his fingers out of you and brings them to his lips to lick them clean. You almost whimper again, 'cause how can someone like him, so sweet and gentlemanly, be so dirty and hot.
Your hands fly to the back of his neck and pull him into a heated kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. Your hands run down the soft skin of his back.
He breaks the kiss to look at you, panting, clearly way too aroused to keep holding back, so he pulls back and gets rid of his pants and boxers. There you see him, standing free and hard, pink at the head and leaking with arousal. You can’t hold back the wish to touch him, hand flying to wrap around his shaft to pump his length.
He lets out the prettiest moan you could’ve heard, which impulses you to apply more pressure on his shaft. Sitting up, your lips wrap around the head of his cock, gentle sucks and twirls of your tongue sending him into a frenzy. You tug up and down, pointed tongue running over the leaking slit, the salty precum filling your tastebuds.
Joshua looks down at you, ragged breath as he places his gentle hand on the back of your head. You lick a stripe of his length from the base to the head, looking up at him and pressing your thighs together in search of some relief when you witness the blissful expression on his face. Pushing his length further down your throat, you almost choke in hopes to hear more of his luscious sounds.
He's quick to pull you away from him, and you frown. He kisses your lips, licking on your tongue and making you moan against his mouth before he pulls back.
"Love that you're so eager to suck my cock, baby, but if I let you continue, I won't last."
What a filthy fucking mouth he has.
“Fuck, Shua. Please baby, please take me already.”
Joshua bites his already swollen lip, moving your hand away from his length to wrap it in his own and place it at your entrance.
“You ready?”
He starts slowly pushing himself into you as soon as you nod. The tightness of your clamping walls makes him choke a moan of his own, as he waits for you to adjust to his size. You take advantage of the moment to start placing open-mouthed kisses on his neck and shoulder. 
Soon he starts to move his hips, making your head spin with the rhythm of his thrusts. You cling onto his body, wrapping your legs around his waist to press him further into you as soon as he bottoms out. Joshua supports his body with one of his arms beside your head, the free one holding onto your waist as his pace starts quickening.
“Shit, so tight.” He moans, snapping his hips against yours and hitting all the right spots. Truthfully, you could cream again by just hearing the sounds he's making. “You were made for me, to take my cock.” He adds, jaw tightening as he moves his hand to interlace his fingers with yours.
“So good, so big.” You cry out. “I’ve belonged to you since the day I saw you.”
He's leaning down after a breathy curse, kissing you again, a bit sloppier, tongues playing as his hips continue speeding up.
You hope in the back of your mind that no one can hear the sounds of skin slapping against skin, however, you’re far too gone to really care.
“If I had known sooner…” He grunts, hand sliding down to find your clit to rub on it with the pads of his fingers. You scratch his back as he continues. “All this time pining over you but thinking you were not really interested.” He confesses, a particular thrust of his hips making you cry out again. “I deserve all the teasing.”
“Fuck, Joshua, I’m so close.” It's a whole trail of whimpers and moans that you let out between each sentence, pressing his sweaty body against yours. “Been harboring these feelings for so long, Joshua, fuck.”
You’re soon grabbed by the waist and flipped over to straddle him. His head against the headrest and hands on your hips. 
“Ride me like that. Shit.” He orders in between moans, biting his lip as his hand roams up and down your back. “I wanna be in so deep.”
You roll your hips, bouncing every now and then as your hands find leverage on his strong and broad shoulders.
"Oh my fucking God.”
“Cum baby, and milk me dry. Show me how much you mean it.” He demands through gritted teeth, rubbing again on your clit. “How much you’ve wanted me all this time.”
And as if it was a magic spell, you come undone around him, legs shaking and back arching. You bite your lip so hard it draws blood, but you don’t care. 
Your walls clench around him hard enough for him to cum right after you with a throaty groan. His hot seed spills inside you in thick spurts, painting your walls white. A few more sloppy thrusts and you’re soon collapsing onto his clammy chest. His heart is racing, but so is yours.
Joshua's strong arms wrap around you, soft caresses on your back as you remain connected for a while.
When the two of you manage to regain your composure, he pulls out of you and helps you lay on your back, turning around to look into your eyes. He looks at you silently, full of adoration at your flushed face.
"What is it?"
He shakes his head, smile remaining on his face.
"Just admiring."
A light snort escapes from you, not an offensive one, and he knows. He's well aware of your shyness, of the pink on your cheeks.
"Admiring? Me?" You chuckle, but admittedly flattered. "Have you seen yourself?"
His perfectly shaped brow quirks at that, before he quickly glances down at himself.
"Yes. You. Actually, I see myself every day in the mirror."
Clicking your tongue, you turn to your side, meeting his gaze.
"I mean..." You trail off. "I know to you it's nothing, but like, you're so so good looking. Like, incredibly so. And I'm not saying this because you're now my boyfriend or because I'm biased, I just genuinely think that if there was a human form for perfection, it'll look like-"
"I love you."
You stop ranting, looking up at him. He's just smiling, and you don't think someone has ever looked at you this way. With so much love.
"What?"
He chuckles, big hands moving to cup your cheeks.
"I said I love you."
You could cry. You think you might, and perhaps, you're actually tearing up, but it's well hidden by the grin on your face, same grin he starts kissing right after.
"I love you, too." You finally say in between kisses.
Once the kiss breaks, It's hard for you to keep your eyes open, but you try your best to look at his post-climax glory.
“That was intense, by the way. And the four letter word at the end? The cherry on top.”
Joshua smiles, tongue darting out to wet his lips.
“Just wait until we wake up in a couple of hours.”
Cheeks heating up instantly, you start laughing.
He leans down and kisses you one more time, much more slowly, then pulls back, placing a small peck on your forehead, then standing up from the bed.
You watch as he puts his sweats and boxers back on. Wrapping the sheets around your body as he goes to the bathroom and comes back with a towel. He doesn’t need to turn the lights on, considering that the sun is already up. He smiles at you and gently cleans you up, sharing a few kisses before he helps you dress again. A protest is what he receives, too tired to move, however, he just chuckles.
“Come on, love. It’s freezing cold. Let me dress you up so we can sleep, yeah?”
With a groan, you end up sitting up and letting him help you. Soon after that, you’re both falling asleep together on your bed.
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“Okay, this was definitely a memorable experience.” Seokmin says, as everyone gets the luggage into the vans.
“It was fun!” Soonyoung agrees, placing his arm around Vernon’s shoulder.
“Well, except for Joshua hyung giving it to our favorite girl til early in the fucking morning.”
You smack Seungkwan across the head and he rubs the sore spot.
“Shut the fuck up. You heard nothing.”
“At least someone was getting laid,” Mingyu adds.
“Are we ready to leave? I really don’t feel like discussing someone’s sexual escapades this early in the morning.”
Of course, it'll be the dad of the group cutting the shit out.
You bid the two girls goodbye, promising to keep in contact and visit soon. thanking them for everything they did.
When everyone’s already inside their vans, you wave at the girls and go back to your seat. Fastening your seatbelt, you look at Jeonghan, who looks back at you with a smirk.
When he least expects it, you place a smooch on his cheek.
Taken aback, his hand moves to touch the place where the kiss landed.
“What was that for?”
You just shrug. “You’re my best friend and I love you.”
Jeonghan can only roll his eyes.
“I was going to tease you for getting some, but that was actually sweet.”
You respond with a chuckle, grabbing his hand and interlacing your fingers together.
“Of course you would, bestie.”
You soon meet eyes with Joshua, who smiles before grabbing your other hand and interlacing your fingers, bringing it to his lips and kissing on the back of it. 
Then, Jeonghan suddenly grabs your face and places a loud smooch on your cheek, making you gasp and laugh out loud, disbelief written on your face.
“Just to remind Joshua he has to share. Don’t expect this gesture to happen very often, though.”
You laugh and rest your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder, still holding both of your favorite boys’ hands.
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Note
Conrad's panic attack at the end of episode 3 but instead of Steven, reader goes after him. Maybe they no longer speak and had a huge falling out
Seeing that scene gave me so many flashbacks of scary times. When it happens, you sometimes don’t know what is happening and there’s so many things happening at the same time. I often get them at night. Waking up unable to breathe, heart palpitations, shaky legs and feeling so hot no amount of cold air makes me cool enough. Or during ptsd moments. 
Warnings: panic attack
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You were all gathered in front of the television, ready for a movie night. It happened one night filled the screen, a choice made by Belly, but no one was mad about it. Though the seating arrangements caused a few initial hiccups, everyone managed to find a comfortable spot. Belly and Taylor sat closely on the right end of the couch, Jeremiah and Steven on the left, and you occupied the middle. Conrad had the loveseat all to himself.
As the movie began, you couldn't help but steal a glance at Conrad, secretly wishing you were sitting beside him. However, things had changed between the two of you, and you hadn't spoken in months — not since the funerals. 
Beside Steven, Jeremiah's soft laughter echoed, reminding you of the good times you all used to share. It felt like a brief return to the past.
A few minutes in, Conrad’s phone buzzed, drawing your attention. His expression shifted as he read the message, the light amusement on his face falling, the movie now entirely forgotten. He quietly got up, trying to not disturb anyone, and left the house through the backdoor.
A sense of concern washed over you as you watched him go. You couldn't help but wonder what the message on his phone could have been and why it affected him so deeply. Your first thought was that it was about his mom, but Susannah was gone now. So, it was either school or his dad. 
Without hesitation or explanations, you stood and went after him. Steven opened his mouth to ask where you were going, but you ignored him. 
Forgetting about shoes, you let the door slam shut behind you, only thinking about Conrad. You hurried down the deck, seeing his figure walking down the beach in the darkness of the evening. The beach and the sea had always been a safe place for Conrad, he found the sound of crashing waves created soothing.
‘’Conrad!’’ you called out in the distance.
He didn’t turn or stop. He kept walking to the shoreline, his back was hunched as his breathing became rapid and shallow. Like he was struggling to find air. You saw him place a hand over his chest right before he stumbled and fell to his knees in the sand.
Your eyes widened with worry, and you could feel your heart racing. ‘’Conrad!’’ 
This time, you ran up to him. The sand was getting between your toes, a feeling you absolutely despised, but you ignored your own discomfort and focused on Conrad. You fell down on the sand beside him, saying his name again. 
Conrad looked up at the sound of your voice, his eyes wide with fear and vulnerability. His breaths were erratic, and it was clear he was struggling to regain control of the rising panic within him. His eyes were filled with distress, not understanding what was happening. 
‘’I-I can't breathe,’’ he managed to say, his voice trembling. ‘’My chest feels so tight, I—’’ 
Your heart sank as you realized what was happening. Conrad was having a full-blown panic attack. You should have guessed faster. You knew the signs all too well. They can be overwhelming and debilitating.
‘’You’re having a panic attack,’’ you explained calmly, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.
Conrad's gaze locked with yours, searching for some form of reassurance. ‘’Make it stop,’’ he stammered, his voice still shaking. ‘’Please, make it stop.’’ He clutched at his chest, gripping his shirt tightly, the air unable to pass through his lungs. 
You had been taught a few techniques to come back from a panic attack, but you figured the fastest one would work best on Conrad. 
You took his hand and put it over your chest. Conrad tried to push you away, but you didn’t let him. ‘’Follow my breathing.’’ 
It felt overwhelming to be touching you, to be so close to you. It made Conrad’s heart want to jump out of his chest. He tried his best to follow along, trying to focus on your breathing instead of how you made him feel. It was evident that he was struggling, but he made an effort to control his breaths, to follow your pattern. 
Gradually, Conrad's breathing started to stabilize, and his panicked expression softened. ‘’That’s it. Keep breathing with me,’’ you encouraged him, offering a sense of safety and stability in the midst of his distress.
As the minutes passed, the panic attack began to subside. Conrad's shoulders relaxed, and his grip on your arm loosened. The crashing waves provided a natural rhythm for his breath, and he started to find a sense of calm. 
Once he was in a better state, he looked at you with gratitude in his eyes. ‘’Thanks for…helping me,’’ he whispered, his voice still shaky but filled with appreciation.
‘’You don't have to thank me, Con,’’ you replied gently.
Con. You had not called him that in a while. It felt strange on your tongue. 
‘’I want to,’’ he insisted. ‘’If you had not followed me out here, I would not have known what to do.’’ Conrad looked down, brushing sand off his jeans. 
‘’Well, I’m glad to have helped you. I…I’m gonna go back inside, now. I know you don’t want me to be here.’’
His words had been harsh when he saw you arriving with Jeremiah yesterday. They stung, but you didn’t expect him to be happy to see you either. Not after your breakup at Susannah’s funeral.
‘’It’s not true.’’ Conrad lifted his head, but kept his eyes on the sea. ‘’I always want you to be there. Even when I say I don’t.’’ 
You looked at Conrad, surprised by his honesty and vulnerability. It was rare he would speak his emotions out loud. He was more of a bottling things up and rarely, if ever, expressing them kind of person.
‘’I'm sorry for what I said to you. For everything,’’ he said, feeling a pang of guilt in his chest. ‘’I never wanted to hurt you, but I did. I should have taken the hand you were holding out for me instead of ripping it off and seeking comfort in someone else's arms to hurt you enough that you'd hate me and go away.’’
As Conrad poured his heart out, you could see the pain and regret in his eyes. For once, he wasn’t pushing you away. He was opening to you and making confessions you never thought you would ever get. 
He kept going. ‘’No matter what I do or say, you'll always be there. Here.’’ Conrad clawed at his heart and then dropped his hand. ‘’You’re engraved in my heart, Y/N, and I can’t get you out. I tried. I tried really hard, but something always pulls me back to you.’’
You took a moment to process his words, then spoke. ‘’Have you ever heard of the Red string of fate?’’ Conrad drew his eyebrow together, so you continued. ‘’It’s an ancient legend that originated in East Asia. The legend speaks of an invisible red string tying two together those who are meant to meet, no matter how far apart they live or how different their lives are. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break.’’
Conrad traced over your pinky, as if he was visualizing the red string there. ‘’Do you think this string is— that our string is tied to each other?’’ 
You looked down where he was touching you, feeling a slight shiver at his touch. You looked back up into Conrad's blue eyes. ‘’Maybe,’’ you replied, reaching out to gently touch his hand.
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ageingfangirl2 · 6 months
Text
We Belong Together Sanji (OPLA)
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Sanji takes an interest in you after finding out your dream. Sanji x Female Reader.
Y/N
Every month for the past year you'd come to The Baratie to deliver fresh fish since your home was only an island away and you'd taken over from your older brother who was looking after his family. Fishing ran in your blood, you could spend hours on a dock watching the waves. Zeff the owner had been looking for a new fish supplier and your family came highly recommended.
It was hard at first to be taken seriously as the youngest child and only daughter, but you could stand your ground and not take crap from anyone who tried to barter a lower price.
Your boat docks and you stare at the odd restaurant in the middle of the sea, knowing full well what waited for you on the inside. A particular blonde in a suit who'd taken an interest in trying to charm you for the past year. At first,' you thought he was trying to flirt his way to a lower price and shut him down, but after a couple more months you realised he was just a flirter.
You didn't really have time to date guys due to your family business, but you'd be lying to yourself if you didn't like the attention Sanji gave you even if he did it to every girl who walked through the door.
'Okay boys, unload and take the stock around back!' you call out tp your small crew, as you head off the ship to settle up with Zeff.
At this time of day the place was quiet, minus the staff getting ready for dinner service. Zeff comes out of the kitchen grinning, 'did you bring us the big ones y/n?'
You nod, 'only the best for you Zeff.'
He laughs before heading back into the kitchen and you follow him. As soon as you step foot in the kitchen, the main hub of activity you spot Sanji at a station and wave at him. You walk into Zeff's office where he already had your payment waiting, and some paperwork for you to sign.
'I don't know what that boy is up to y/n, but he's been preparing for your arrival,' Zeff speaks up.
You smile and put the berries and paperwork in your satchel, 'thanks for the heads up. Same time next month.'
Zeff waves you off and you head into the kitchen, seeing your guys unloading crates of fish. Sanji appears in front of you naming you jump a little.
'So, I asked around and everyone thinks I'm a great catch and would be perfect for you y/n,' he says proudly, and his accent was more than enough to sway you.
You hum, 'who exactly did you ask?'
Sanji blinked a couple of times before running his fingers through his hair, it was safe to say you made him a little nervous not falling for his charms, 'err like everyone. You and I are meant to be together y/n, I just know it.'
Sanji showing vulnerability surprised you, this was a new side you kind of liked and admired. You motion towards the main door indicating the two of you should head outside if you wanted some privacy.
Once outside you tilt your head towards the blonde, 'tell me why then.'
Sanji bites his lip, 'because I found out we share the same dream.'
'The All Blue,' you whisper.
Sanji nods and closes the space between you, taking your hands in his, 'One day I'll leave this place and I want you by my side y/n.'
'It's not that easy Sanji, what about my family business? You ask and squeeze his hands.
'You've said to yourself your brother and his family can take over. I'm a cook but I need someone to fish for me,' Sanji replies, adding a little humour at the end.
You smirk and meet his eyes, stand on your tiptoes and peck his cheek, 'took you a year but I'm down. When you decide to leave come and pick me up.'
A blush appears on Sanji's cheeks after your brief kiss, 'I guess I'll be seeing you then y/n.'
You nod, 'No sweeping any other ladies off their feet until then, you promise? I'll be back in a month with the next delivery.'
He bends down and kisses your forehead, 'I'm a man of my word y/n.'
Little did you know he'd come calling before the next delivery, and the two of you set sail to The Grand Line to find The All Blue together.
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igotanidea · 2 months
Text
Voices: Jason Todd x reader
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Dreaming was good.
Dreaming was nothing less of a perfect when she could feel his warm body next to her. The strong, protective embrace of his arms wrapped around her.
Or even if they got into a fight and were angry at each other - it was calming knowing that Jason was right beside, just a touch away. Even if he flinched and scoffed at the gentle move of her fingers on his back or shoulders. sooner or later he always relented and they worked through whatever shit was going on.
Together.
But dreaming was not always good.
Not when she woke up in the middle of the night, brutally torn from the very vivid and very real nightmare of Jason's dead, lifeless body in her arms. His blood on her hands and face. His empty, cold eyes. His emotionless face.
NO!!
The jolt was so sudden that even her cat, sleeping peacefully in the foot of the bed run away form her, leaving poor girl completly alone.
alone.
Going to bed alone. Every night.
Waking up alone. Every morning.
Deprived of his touch, his kisses, his love and affection.
Any affection.
And maybe she was acting like a whiny baby, but she needed him with her. Not out there. Not fighting crime lords or whatever villain might have shown his face at Gotham.
3 am....
Please come back home....
4 am,
5 am.....
Was he injured? Was he bleeding, hurt, scared? Maybe he took off running? Maybe he got back together with one of his exes? Artemis? Kori? Rose?
Maybe she wasn;t good enough for him? Maybe he realised he actually wanted some badass vigilante chick with toned muscles, sharp tongue, fiery attitude? Maybe he wanted someone hot?
She wasn't hot.
She was a wimp, shuddering in the cold, empy bed desperately craving her boyfriend presence. Be it bruised or in bad mood, but please --
Please come home.
I'll be better, I'll do better, I'll improve.
I'll be what you want me to be, just please don't leave me.
So far from what a modern woman should be, right? Codependent, fragile, weak, vulnerable, pathetic.
Or maybe just in love with a vigilante.
How did it happen that she got from worrying about him to questioning her whole lonely exsistence in 10 minutes?
He doesn;t want you.
You're ugly.
You're fat.
You're unnatractive.
You really thought he would stay with you? did you already imagine the real-life play-pretend with him? White dress? Picket white fence? Familiy?
You stupid little girl.
He doesn;t want you, he never wanted you, he won't ever want you.
"SHUT UP!!!" she cried out in frustration, tears rolling down her face as her demons started to prey on her like on a Goya painting "Shut up! shut up! shut up!" she shook violently.
"Are you talking to me now?" a familiar voice and the sound of discarded red helmet echoed in her head "Damn Y/N! If there's anything you learned during those years it's definitely developing a good hearing-- Baby?" Jason became alarmed the second he took in her state. "Baby? Y/N? What happened? WHO HURT YOU?!"
It was impossible for Jason to keep his cool when he saw her crying. The first thought popping into his head being someone did something to her. Someone caused this. And the fact that it was 5 a.m. and most people were sleeping and that there was no one but them in their apartment slipped his mind, clouded by the incoming wave of rage
"Give me the name baby.' he took a few step forwards, kneeling on the floor next to bed and cupping her chin forcing her eyes on him "tell me who did this to you."
"You did!" she sobbed
"I--" holy fuck! In his blinding fury and the sudden need for revenge he didn't realise she could be sheding those crocodlie tears because of him.
"Why are you leaving me?" she sobbed
"Why am I --?" Y/N was not making any sense right now "I'm not--"
"Liar!" the girl yelled with surprising strength given her fragile state "You think she's hot, don't you?"
"Who?"
"Your ex!"
"My ex? Y/N, princess, why don't you calm down and--"
"I AM COMPLETLY CALM!" now Jason was almost sure that the neighbours were already up, ready to impale them both on pitchforks and uncovering his secret identity.
"Ok, ok, baby..." he raised his hands in surrender, observing her every move and slightest change in face expression.
This was new. This was something he wasn;t entirely sure of how to proceed with. Out of all the opponents he had to fight never in his mind would he thought that his girlfiriend would be the most challenging.
Was this an attack of hysteria? A panic attack? An anxiety fit?
Jason was way too familiar with all that.
What if it was him? What would she do if he woke up in the middle of the night, jittery for no particular reason? What could possibly be helpful?
And then it dawned on him.
And it all happened at once.
Bed dipping, his weight on her, his hands on her body, his breath on her face and the all-encompasing smell of blood, gunpowder and cigatettes.
Soft caress of her hair.
Gentle peck on her nose.
Developing too fast to give her any time to object, not that she wanted to.
"I got you." he whispered pulling her closer to his chest, not caring about the bruise that was already forming on his right side and that cut on his forearm. She was more important now. "I got you, baby, I got you..." he kissd her forehead warming and calming her by the mass of muscles and bythe rapid but steady beating of his heart.
she was still shaking but the firm yet gentle grip on her refused to let go untill it all subsided. Steading her, anchoring her in reality. Helping her realise that whatever her traitorous mind suggested had nothing to do with actuallity. Even if it took days, weeks, years, Jason was not going to move, keeping her pinned to his chest until being full certain she was back to him, having her full attention.
"Do you think I'm ugly....?" she muttered causing him to laugh, the movement of his body causing vibrations.
"I think you should get some proper rest. Otherwise the next thing you're going to ask me is going to be that "if i was a worm..." question."
"Bbut if I was a worm would you--?"
"Hush, woman!" he cut her off with the cheesiest smile "I had a rough night and need to sleep. Which means you are stuck with me for as long as I please."
"are you--?"
"I said, hush woman." he tightened the hold on her, preventing her from squirming and moving too far. "you're my body pillow now, accept your fate."
"are you hurt?" she whispered
"I'm perfect." he whispered back, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.
Making all the hateful voices in her head shut up. Bringing in the silence and peace.
But the talk he was going to give her in the morning would be a capital letter one.
Ugly.
Huh. She had no idea what measures he was going to resort to proving her wrong...
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khuzena · 1 year
Text
✎Regret, love and death
Itoshi Rin, Itoshi Sae, Michael Kaiser x g/n!reader
Summary: The bllk boys break up with you not knowing you're terminally ill and they meet you again but this time you're dying right in front of them.
Warning: Angst, no fluff, breakup and breakdown, death, grief
A/n: this is super cliche ik but this has been on my mind for months now, it's time i actually write about it. Listening to ditto while making this. I tried to make it g/n so bear with me
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Itoshi Rin
"Stay in the middle, like you a little"
Itoshi Rin who left you months ago after a stupid argument he wishes he could've prevented. He tells himself that he doesn't need you anymore and that he'll never open up his heart again.
Itoshi Rin who gets mad when he sees happy couples, he swears it's anger and jealousy but it's mostly confusion and betrayal. He believed that it was your fault that he became this vulnerable but he willingly gave his heart to you.
Being a professional athlete like Itoshi Rin it's common to regularly get some injuries here and there so he visits the hospital.
He waited patiently right outside his clinic, an earbud in one ear and he listened to the environment around him. Squeaky wheelchairs, cries from a hospital room nearby and patients conversing in daily chit-chat. The line at the clinic was taking too long so he decided he'll go next time; but something caught his eye. The soles of his shoes clack on the marble floor at the empty hallway and the music he's listening to but he hears the faint beating of a heart monitor. Then, he sees your name in one hospital room.
He couldn't believe his eyes. There was a folder attached loosely on the door, your name written in lazy cursive and numerous descriptions he couldn't understand. Rereading and rereading the name on the folder over and over again, his eyes narrowed as he decided to look over to the glass window at the door; he saw you. Rin doesn't understand why you were here and why the folder was marked "terminal— confined" . The writings are too messy for him to understand but his heart beats loudly through his body like a gong.
He tries to convince himself it's probably someone else but he knew you too much to know that the one stuck in that wrinkly hospital bed was you.
He has to go, he has to but he doesn't. He takes a deep breath and opens the door. You open your eyes as you realize your peace was disturbed from the loud creaking of the door. You scrunch your nose and blink your eyes as you take a look at the figure standing at the side of your bed, it was Rin.
"You… why are you here?" He whispered, you could barely hear him but he stared down at you with pity, anger, grief— you don't know.
"I should be the one asking you that." Your voice was muffled by the oxygen mask strapped to your head as you sat yourself up and looked up to him, he tried to avoid your gaze as he looked over to the IVs inserted into your wrists, wires everywhere he was sure he almost stepped on one.
Rin furrowed his brows in irritation, all this pent up anger from the break up bursting all at once, "What the fuck happened to you?"
You gave him a weak smile, "A week before we broke up… I was diagnosed with a heart disease. I couldn't tell you what happened to me, then we fought but I was too scared and stressed I broke things off."
Rin breathes raggedly, fear and guilt flooding his senses; wondering why he was such an idiot to leave you.
"Will you get better?"
You smile again at his stupidity, you know he's seen the document attached at the door saying 'patient in hospice' but Rin wants to hear it from you, he wants you to confirm his thoughts. Maybe even deny it so he'll feel better. You feel tears drip down your arm as you watch him shaken like he's seen a ghost.
"I won't, so go now."
Rin wants to pour out all his emotions, everything welling up inside his heart— the thoughts brewing in the depths of his heart that ate him alive from the time you were seperated but he holds himself back.
His knees buckled and his strength prior to this incident dissipated into nothing as he held onto his remaining resolve. Like the coward he always was, he leaves and never comes back… but he will come back to you eventually; with a chrysanthemum in hand this time and a fresh black suit he picked out.
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Itoshi Sae
"Don't want no riddle, Say it, Say it back"
Itoshi Sae who visits Japan for the first time in months, only going back to renew his passport.
It wasn't his intention to pass by your old friend group in public, he eavesdropped on their mindless conversation then they started talking about you.
Itoshi Sae listens to their conversation, getting some details about you. Hearing that you got confined somewhere and that there was no one to take care of you other than the nurses and hospice workers stationed at your room.
Itoshi Sae who tries to keep that newfound information out of his mind but the thought of you being confined in a hospital is making his heart race. Not in love nor from the butterflies he used to get when talking to you— no. He couldn't stop thinking of you. He promised to himself to never interact with you, avoid every single thing that reminded him of you but he couldn't. He just couldn't.
Itoshi Sae who visits the hospital and asks where you are, pretending that he was a visitor to the nurses was easier than he thought.
"Are you asking about that patient?"
He nodded, the nurse was stupid enough to fall for his charms as she sent him the directions to your room. Sae knows what dangerous game he's playing, if he comes back to you again then it defeats the purpose of avoiding you forever like he promised himself but he still goes.
It was a nice afternoon, birds chirping and he saw little children from the nursery running around in the hallways with toys in their hands. He mentally prepared himself for what he was about to see, turning away from your hospital room for a moment before entering.
His eyes softened for a moment when he laid his eyes on you, you were reading a book— an eerie one at that. Sae raised an eyebrow when he noticed that you didn't hear him enter, what if you were deliberately ignoring him? He was sure you were but he didn't catch your attention until he stepped closer to your bed, a shadow looming over you as you slowly looked up to him.
The two of you stare at each other for what it felt like forever, he's still looking at you like that. Love in his irises but there's a tint of melancholy.
You could see Sae saying something to you, you tried to read his lips but his words fell on deaf ears.
Sae was getting irritated on why you didn't respond but you took the white board that was resting on your bedside table. He patiently watched you write something on the board, clack, clack, clack.
'Im deaf. I can't hear you.'
Just months ago you were fine but he gets more ill with worry when his mind starts to drift and wonder what could've happened to you when he left you here all alone.
You erased the writing on the board, giddily like a child as you handed him the board next, signaling him to also write you something.
The athlete hesitated for a moment before grabbing the board off your hands, writing something hastily. He feels like if he wasted any more time he'll lose everything— but he knew that he already did the moment when he called it quits months ago.
'What happened', he wrote on the board, streaks of ink staining his palm but that's the least of his worries.
You sat up in a more comfortable position before opening the drawer, taking a clipboard, medical documents clipped to the board. Sae reads the papers, his throat starts burning and he feels tears building up in his eyes. He flips through the papers, information about your condition printed on the tiny pieces of paper as he reads through everything.
You couldn't understand what he was muttering under his breath but you were sure it was something… the way he bit his lip to hold back the tears and the way his hands got sweaty as he scanned the board.
Sae loved many things, you, soccer, coffee and the beach. There was something about hospitals that made him uneasy. Hospitals correlated to injury and death— a big no no for him. But as an athlete, a pro one at that it's not surprising that he regularly visits the hospital for nutrition advice or medicine. Though… this one was his worst visit yet. He told himself that he won't ever cry or love you again, that's why it's 'Sae loved' but he realizes he still loves you. Even though you're stuck on the hospital bed, sickly and dying, your arms littered with scars from the tubes that go in and out your skin and maybe the way you look so frail and skinny now compared to what you looked like months ago; he still loves you. He realized that in this moment he's always going to be looking for you the way you pathetically looked for him in the hospital, wishing he was there after you two broke up.
At least now the gods were merciful enough to grace you with his presence for the last time, even in this situation you still smiled at him like he deserved to see that again.
Itoshi Sae who visits you again tomorrow before you pull off the plug, Pain plastered on his face as he holds you tightly. He broke his promise.
To you, to never hurt you.
To himself, to never love you again.
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Michael Kaiser
"Oh say it ditto, Can't wait till the morning, So say it ditto"
Michael Kaiser pretends he's fine after the break up and to distract himself from the pain, he dates other people— looking for someone who can fill the void you carved in his heart, looking for you.
Michael Kaiser who still wears the cardigan you bought him, giving him solace and comfort when he curls up in his bed alone, wishing you were there with him.
You and Kaiser didn't break up on bad terms, more like a confusing and neutral breakup. He told you he was done and you didn't beg him to stay, after all he neglected you for his selfish desires. He's like an icarus who has flown too close to the sun, his ego representing the melting wax wings of icarus— it burned your skin and melted your patience.
Michael Kaiser still stalks you in his other account you forgot that existed. He wouldn't admit it but he patiently waited for an update on your account.
Michael Kaiser who stalks your account and finally sees something. Your parents' post talking about you being stuck in the hospital.
Michael Kaiser doesn't cry, he can't. Images on the posts ingraining— burning itself in the deepest parts of his brain then it triggers something in him. Confusion.
He doesn't know the exact details of your situation but he's too curious to scroll past the post.
Michael Kaiser who gets a cab and arrives at your hospital, like a man with no shame he looks for your room.
It was nighttime and the hospital was uncannily quiet, he wasn't sure why but the guard was doing a terrible job at guarding the entrance of the hospital. Kaiser walks past the sleepy guard, ignoring the thumping sound of the guard falling on the floor as he makes his way to the lady on the desk.
"What brings you in here, sir?"
He pushes up his glasses, "I'm looking for my lover, [patient name]", he says boldly, lying through his teeth but he knows it's the only way they'll let him in.
"Give me a minute," the nurse starts flipping through the hospital log book, "They're at room 405, third floor."
Kaiser nods, thanking the nurse as he takes the elevator.
'ding' Kaiser enters the elevator, checking his watch while waiting for it to arrive at the third floor. The elevator was dimmed and it looked like a scene straight from horror movies, another old lady in a wheelchair strolls to the elevator.
"What's a handsome young man like you doing in the dead of the night here?" The grandma says in a hoarse voice, grey hairs covering her face as she holds onto both her wheelchair and fruits.
Though Kaiser is an asshole, a liar, he naturally had a soft spot for children and the elderly. "I'm here for my… lover" he doesn't know what gave it away but the older woman noticed the hesitance in his voice.
The grandma nodded at his reply, 'ding!'
"I guess this is my stop." Kaiser stepped out of the elevator, waving goodbye to the elderly woman and ambled in the hallway.
The scent of disinfectant invaded his nostrils, though the smell gets more diverse as he passes by different hospital rooms. He hears people screaming and crying at the room to his left and the other room dead silent, as if a corpse inhabited the room to his right.
Sweat starts trickling down his forehead when he counts the hospital room's numbers and realizes he's getting closer to yours. 'shit, shit, shit' his mind spiralling into madness, anxiety as he braces himself for what he's about to see.
His legs started to feel like jelly as his feet dragged him in front of your hospital room. A feeling of uncertainty, something he never felt again after breaking up with you.
Months ago when you two broke up he wondered if maybe you'd crawl back to him, like a child who ran away but comes home again the day after, but you didn't.
The door pulled open as he made his way inside, the lights were turned off but the sound of humming took him by surprise.
"I can hear you, you know."
Oh, that voice. That voice that could soothe him on days like these, your voice so gentle he thinks it's a sweet melody, a lullaby so sweet it would bring the devil down on his knees begging and repenting for forgiveness if he ever heard your voice.
The German boy doesn't come forward, only staring at your disheveled figure on the bed, waiting for death themselves to take you away from your misery.
"Have you eaten yet?"
Your fingers traced the lamp before finding the switch, making a flick sound as the soft illuminating glow lights up the room. You nod as you sit up, hugging yourself as you find comfort in the bandages that wrapped around your body.
"I'm sorry." It was the first time he's ever said this to you in ages, he wished he said this to you back then, he wishes that he was there for you.
Maybe he was the devil, cruel and mean, strong yet so weak. His knees buckled as he let out a choked sob, his fears that builded up couldn't hold in much longer as tears streamed down his face.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Kaiser says in between his sobs, the prideful man being broken down into a pathetic, crying mess.
Your fingers fiddled together in anxiety, you always had that stupid habit of yours when in distress. As much as you couldn't forgive Kaiser— he's too weak, too vulnerable for you to ignore.
Still Kaiser was shameless but not too shameless to go even a few inches closer to your bed, his mind racing— thinking that everything is all his fault as his heart rate goes up.
"Why should I? We're not even together." His chest tightens, if anyone could see him right now they'd think he's a fucking idiot— crying over the dying lover he left to rot in the hospital? Piece of shit.
"Yeah I know." He tries to calm himself down but he knows it's useless when you pick up on his uneasy behavior.
Kaiser wanted to ask you, 'let's get back together?' or maybe 'please forgive me' because he's a shameless prick but it's the first time he doesn't let his pride take over his senses.
He grieves right in front of you, your eyes never leaving his as his body language is signaling you, begging you to say something but it's better that you didn't.
He has all the time in the world to grieve for you after all, he's a shameless, selfish man… isn't he?
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Notes: hell nah i'm sorry if there was so many grammar mistakes and stuff this isn't really proofread and i'm thinking of opening requests so like uh what do you guys think should i open requests
Written by @khuzena. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. ♡
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intuitively-her · 4 months
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What career fits you best?
Pile 1-(6 of wands, The Star, The Moon, The Magician, 6 of swords rx, 6 of cups rx, 8 of cups, 2 of wands, The Devil rx, 5 of wands rx, Knight of wands, King of pentacles, 10 of cups)
You need to be in the spotlight!📸 Someone here wants to be an actor/actress. Or maybe you like to perform in theatre? Burlesque dancer? For someone specific, this is something you wanted to do since you were a kid. Your confidence is out of this world! It needs to be showcased on a stage somewhere.🤩 More people should know your name. Get into some acting classes if you can. For someone specific, you should get into a dance class. Someone here needs to take an etiquette class. Or something related to speech and communication. For some of you, this will require you to move somewhere new. Atlanta, Texas, or California could be significant.🌍 Something about this career could be unconventional. Performing naked/half dressed? Idk I keep getting a sexual theme here. This career will bring in endless abundance for you.📈 You possess many skills. It's like one day you're playing an extra in some movie, and then the next you're doing a big show on Broadway. You shouldn't limit yourself with your creativity in your line of work. There's nothing you can't do pile 1!🌠
🎶channeled songs: R.I.P by playboi carti & Cameras by drake
Pile 2-(4 of swords, The Hermit, Knight of swords, Page of cups, The Moon rx, Death, The World, Wheel of fortune, 9 of pentacles)
This is my artistic pile.🎨 Someone here could be into graphic design? Or clothing design. Your style of art is unpredictable. You set the trends. Realism art? Someone here could be into mural art. Your art could have a morbid nature to it. If so, people love this. You might primarily work from home. In your own little sanctuary.🏡 You could like to create art that "speaks" to people. Or you like to create art that evokes emotion from the audience. Someone here likes to draw cartoons? Reflect on your childhood for better inspiration. Maybe something you used to draw as a kid? A childhood t.v. show? You wanna contribute to the public and give back to people through "art". You're a very down to earth person in general and can get along with just about anyone. Use that skill to network with others in your field. It would be very beneficial for you.
Pile 3-(The Empress, The Hierophant, 4 of wands, 10 of cups, 5 of pentacles, Knight of swords, 3 of pentacles rx, Ace of cups, Wheel of fortune)
You would make an amazing teacher!🏫 For someone specific, you should look into spiritual teaching. Or maybe working in the church? You could be in the middle of a career change right now. Someone here wants to run a daycare? Or teach small children. You make others feel comfortable. People love how you're easily vulnerable with them.🫶🏽 You're an open book to most. Someone here would make a great therapist. People might've seen you cry before. Or you're often a shoulder to cry on for others. You're very good at consoling others. It pretty much comes natural to you. You're the type of mother that others wish they had growing up. Someone here could be newly pregnant or nursing.🤱🏽 For someone specific, your cooking is the best! There's no one that compares to you in the kitchen.🤣 Someone here could be in a feminist organization? Or you should try one. Many would describe you as a "godsend". You make others feel at home, always. You always know what to say at the right time. Your advice makes people see the bigger picture. It makes everyone around you want to be a better person.💫
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dexlexia · 7 months
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scarring - zoro x reader
pairing: roronoa zoro x trans!reader (he/him) rating: 18+ summary: When Zoro found out you were trans it was in the middle of battle. You were standing in the way of the Straw Hats as part of another pirate crew. You were their swordsman and anthropologist. But when one of Zoro's swords slashed through your shirt, he saw your secret. tags: pwp, smut, deck sex, riding, transmasc!reader, chest worship, swordsman!reader, established relationship a/n: this one goes out to all my transmasc brethren. i see you
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When Zoro found out you were trans it was in the middle of battle. You were standing in the way of the Straw Hats as part of another pirate crew. You were their swordsman and anthropologist. But when one of Zoro's swords slashed through your shirt, he saw your secret. 
Two thick lines of scar tissue on your chest. In a moment of vulnerability you fled. Paranoia ran through your mind as you jumped onto your ship and sailed off with the rest of your crew. You swallowed down panic, not even your crew knew and now this mosshead who you were fighting knew all about your business. 
But it wouldn't be the last time you ran into Zoro. The next time you'd see him would be months later when you woke up on the Thousand Sunny. When you opened your eyes, you were on a medical cot with your head bandaged up and the thin blanket that was up to your shoulders. 
When you noticed the green-haired man you sat up and got to the further corner of the cot up against the wall. The blanket fell to your waist and once again exposed your scarring. 
  ”Don't worry.“ Zoro said as he looked at you, “I'm not going to hurt you." He leaned forward and brought the blanket up to your shoulder to partially conceal your surgery scars, ”They look pretty nasty.“
  ”I'm pretty sure if I had gone to another island they'd look better.“
  ”A swordsman should never be ashamed of their scars.“ He looked out of the corner of his eye to the sword that had been placed on the counter of the makeshift clinic, ”I was almost disappointed that we didn't end our fight.”
  “Where's my crew?" You asked.
Zoro shrugged, “No clue, we only found you floating on a piece of ship. You're lucky to be alive.“ He looked at you once more, ”Can't let a good swordsman die until we finish our fight.“ 
The corner of your mouth curled upwards, you tried to get up but a sharp pain went through your head and you ended up back on the cot. You held where it hurt and groaned. 
 “Yeah, you're not getting up for a while.” Zoro responded, "And since you're technically our enemy, I have to stay here until you recover.“ He sat back in the wooden chair, ”Feel free to go back to sleep, it makes my job easier.“
You laid back down and looked up at him, ”Thank you, mosshead.“ 
He gave you a pointed look out of the corner of his eye, ”Just call me Zoro. Got enough people calling me mosshead around here.” He then turned to you, “Roronoa Zoro.” 
You gave your name before you rolled onto your side and got comfortable on the cot. As you felt your eyes grow heavy, you felt the thin blanket pushed back up over your shoulders followed by the chair creaking as someone was sitting back in it. 
That was how you met Zoro.
You never found your crew, but were soon adopted into the Straw Hats for your knowledge of the upcoming islands as your studies were in the cultures of the people of the Grand Land.
With that you became closer to Zoro. He wasn't upfront about his emotions, but he showed in other ways. Like he'd clean your sword when he cleaned his, he'd pass you extra food during mealtimes. He even threw a hat on your head one afternoon due to the fact it was too sunny. 
You never saw yourself as someone to fall in love with. You thought traveling the Grand Line and becoming a pirate meant romance was out of the picture. On top of that meeting someone who'd accept you for being transgender the prospect of falling in love felt like a far off dream. 
But Zoro didn't see you as some sorry excuse for a man, or a fake man, or whatever other bad thing you could think about yourself. He saw you as a competent fighter. He never felt the need to protect you when the Straw Hats got in trouble, he rather expected you to be at his side in the heat of battle. 
Time passed and without many words spoken, you two became a couple. It felt like a natural progression. Soon you shared a bed, shared shower time together, and even at times shared clothes even if Zoro's clothes were far too big on you. 
And to bring it all together, none of the Straw Hats cared that you were transgender. It was your business and your gender didn't affect your role on the crew. When you were accepted by them, you felt overwhelmed and eventually burst into tears thanking them for accepting you.
No more secrets, no more lies. You were a Straw Hat and you couldn't have been any happier. Slowly you became more comfortable with training shirtless on the deck with Zoro. 
Sometimes Chopper joined but could only really use the small weights, but you encouraged them to keep going even when he felt like giving up. The sight made Zoro smile as he added more weight to his routine. Other times you were looking at your notes from a recent island with Chopper on Zoro's back while he did push ups. You weren't able to do the same, you tried and got to about five reps before your arms turned to jelly. 
However today was a slow afternoon, the ship, the Thousand Sunny was docked at a local island. You were going to stop for a few days in order to stretch your legs and get supplies. You were offered by multiple crew members to go with them as they completed their to-do list on the island. But you declined, you would enjoy some alone time on the ship. 
Sometimes being on such a rambunctious ship like the Thousand Sunny left you feeling exhausted. So you'd take the time to organize some notes before you added anymore to your collection. 
Zoro offered to stay too, deciding to utilize the additional space on the deck to really get his reps in. He did shove his list of items he needed to Sanji who gave him an earful. 
  “What number is this now?” You asked as you looked into one of your notebooks. You hand a bunch of them and of course, none of them were labeled. 
  ���Two-hundred and fifty seven.” Zoro responded. You admired his body as he moved with each swing of the weights. His toned, sun kissed muscles illuminated in the afternoon light. You licked your lips at the sight of him. 
Soon he dropped the weight onto the ground and wiped the sweat off his forehead. He turned to you and put his hands on his hips. Just as you were staring at him, he was staring back. 
  ”What are you looking at?“
  ”Can't a man admire his boyfriend?“ You felt his eyes on your skin. The scars were less noticeable now, but under the light right you could still see the jagged scar tissue. 
He smiled at you and went over to you on the upper level of the deck and took the notebook from you. He placed his hand on your bare chest, his large hand made you feel so small. ”Only if I can look at you.“
You took his face in your hands and smiled at him, ”I don't know. It might cost you.“ Then pulled him in for a kiss. He soon grabbed you by the hips and put you on top of him as he laid out of the wood of the deck. 
You stared down at him and pushed the hair out of your eyes, ”How much longer do you think we have?“ 
  ”Well, if Luffy eats the town out of house and home, we'll have enough time.“ He started to pull his work out pants down his thighs, exposing his cock.
You grinned like a maniac and you discarded your pants and watched Zoro lick his lips at the sight of your pussy. A swordsman with a pussy, it was quite the sight. 
  ”We have to be fast.“ You aknowledged, ”If we fuck on the ship I will never hear the end of it." You placed both hands on his chest and lined your pussy up with his cock. With his assistance, you seated yourself down on his length. The stretch made you ball up your fists.
He held onto your hips and leaned up to kiss at your chest. His nose brushed against the fine hairs. His lips crossed your nipples before he kissed the scar tissues. In return your hands explored the scar on his chest. You felt his heartbeat under your palm as you began to ride him. 
  “Fuck, Zoro." You moaned as you rolled your hips at a steady yet quick pace. There was no time to have the slow kind of sex that you rarely got to have on a busy ship like the Thousand Sunny. When sex happened, it was in dark areas as quickly as possible. Soon you gripped his head as he kissed your chest.
His kisses were like worship, he accepted you as fully male. He didn't doubt it for a second that you weren't a man. Even if you weren't the tallest man around or were the most muscular, Zoro saw you stronger than any man he had ever met. You fought through everything to live your authentic truth. He could tell by when he observed you taking you weekly testosterone injections. 
  “I love you.” You said as you comed through his green hair, feeling the soft hairs under your fingertips as you rolled your hips. He kept his hands planted on your hips and continued to worship your test. You moaned as his cock rubbed against a sensitive spot. You pulled his face closer to your chest as his lips moved across your scarring. 
He groaned into your chest as he felt pleasure race up his spine. You felt amazing around his cock, he remembered the first time you had sex in a broom closet and had to stop halfway because another crew was attacking the ship. He remembered he didn't want to give you the sensation of fucking you but had to come back to it later after you both cut down the enemies. 
  “I love you too.” He panted as his jaw clenched at the feeling of you riding him. His heart hammered in his chest and his toes curled at the sensual roll of your hips on his cock. He had heard stories about transgender male pussy, but those didn't compare to what he felt at that moment. He was obsessed with you in every sense of the word. 
He wanted to either marry you or die by your blade. He would gladly let you kill him if it meant being in the presence of someone so amazing. He gave one last kiss to the middle of your chest before he laid fully back on the deck and let you get a better angle of riding him. 
You leaned forward and planted both hands on either side of his head before you went in for a sloppy kiss. His mouth opened and ran his tongue across your lips until you opened your mouth and the kiss became deeper. He gripped onto your hips and encouraged your pace by fucking up into you. Letting his cock hit against all the right angles. 
  “Zoro."
 ”I know. You feel amazing.“ He said quietly, ”I can't get enough of you.“ He groaned and thrusted up further into you. Which you responded to by moaning against his cheek. Your nose pressed up into the apples of his cheeks as you raised and dropped your hips in quick succession. 
  "Zoro. Fuck. Please.” You begged which only turned him on further. You almost pathetic moans made Zoro's stomach clench. A moment of such vulnerability. You trusted him with your whole life. 
The pleasure became too much and he flipped you over so your back was on the hardwood and he wrapped your legs around his waist. He started to thrust roughly into you, he held your hips up and fucked into you. Your body jolted up and down with each hard thrust. You watched Zoro lick his lips as his eye watched you intently. 
You both felt hot under the afternoon sun, Zoro was still sweaty from his workout but now even more so thanks to the intimate activities you were doing. He soon held onto your hip with one hand and played with your clit with his other thumb. He pressed into the nub and you moaned. You grabbed onto the wood under your back for dear life as he fucked you.
It wasn't long before both of you felt the overwhelming urge to orgasm. Zoro swore under his breath as he rammed into you. He continued to pleasure you as you moaned and panted into the open air. He loved the sight of you, you were always so strong but to see you in a moment of euphoric weakness was something he marveled in. 
He loved you, more than one person could love another. You were the drive in his heart to continue his goal to become the world's greatest swordsman. If there were ever anyone to defeat him in that title, he hoped it would be you. You Were his strongest passion, the strongest man he had ever encountered. As he fucked into you and gazed down at your face. He felt his heart beat faster as he pushed himself up into you. 
  “You're mine.“ He said.
Your eyes met, ”Only as much as you are mine, Zoro.“ You grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into another searing kiss that made Zoro's mind go blank. He was lost in you, he could call his love for you borderline obsessive but he didn't care. He'd fight by your side until he had no fight left in him, even after that he'd still try. 
Because in that moment as you two fucked on the deck of the ship, he felt a thrum in his system that called out for your love in every single way. He wanted you in every way he could get you. You were what he seeked, you were the swordsman he'd fight alongside. He kissed you once more, lost in your love as he pounded into you. His body ached in a need to orgasm. The kiss became sloppier as he thrusted into you at a quick, uneven pace. 
You had almost reached your climax, you dug your blunt nails into his shoulders as you panted and moaned into the kiss. He was breathing harshly through his nose as he moved. Within a few more heavy thrusts, he finished. With you shortly behind him. 
The feeling was euphoric as all the drive left your bodies, and you laid limp against one another. Cum oozed out of you. It took a moment as the seagulls squawked in the distance for you both to recover. Zoro looked at you, his face pressed into the wood of the deck. 
He gave you a smile and reached over to get your shorts, ”Before those idiots come back.“ His hands were shaky from the aftermath of the climax. You took them from him, your hands touched for a moment as you grabbed them. 
  ”You're something else, Zoro.“
He responded, ”Not as much as you, swordsman.“ 
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rafedaddy01 · 3 months
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A/N: number 2 for this
“I just don’t understand why you’ve been so distant lately!” The two of you were out at the docks in the middle of the night.
“Rafe just drop it! I don’t wanna talk about this anymore” you turned around to leave but he tugged you back by your wrist.
He pulled you in closer and ground you with his hands on your hips.
“I’m sorry for getting angry. I just.. your my bestfriend y/n, if your upset with me I need to know why” his eyes looked so helpless and his voice was so soft spoken.
“I overheard you” you squeaked out.
Rafes brows furrowed in confusion.
“Last week. With topper..”
Rafes eyebrows raised in realization to what you were referring too.
Last week Rafe was hanging out with topper and kelce and you had showed up, but nobody had seen you and you overheard them talking about some party and how one of the girls got drugged. She made it home safe thanks to one of her friends but something that topper said made your insides twist, “she was asking for it” and Rafe and kelce just laughed.
Rafe knew that you’d been sexually abused in the past and it hurt to hear him just sit and laugh at someone who could have ended up like you.
“Y/n..” Rafe took a deep breath before his hands came up to your face, cupping your cheeks and staring at you with such intensity that it broke your heart. You felt so vulnerable in the moment, you couldn’t stop the tears from coming.
“I’m sorry” he pulled you into his chest as you let the tears flow. “I shouldn’t have laughed. Nothing about that was funny, I’m so sorry y/n” he hugged you tighter.
Once you had calmed down you pulled back and wiped your cheeks.
“I’m sorry for pushing you away. I should have talked to you about it, I just didn’t know how to bring it up” you looked up as him and he smiled.
“It’s okay, princess” he kissed your forehead and the atmosphere immediately shifted.
You looked between his eyes and his lips, suddenly getting to urge to know what he tasted like.
Rafe had the same thoughts as he look at you lovingly.
His hand snaked down to your waist, while the other gripped the side of you face.
“I never want to hurt you again, y/n” his lips brushed yours and you knew you should have pulled back, but you wanted it too bad.
You closed the distance as your lips touched. A wave of electricity flowed between the two of you and time had physically slowed.
You let yourself melt into his arms as he hoisted you up and your legs wrapped around his waist.
He slipped his tongue into your mouth and you opened wider to give him more room.
He carried you until you reached a metal table and he placed you atop it while he moved his lips down your neck.
“Is this okay?” His breath fanned your skin and you erupted with goosebumps.
“Yes” you swallowed as he sucked marks into your skin.
A moan escaped your lips as Rafe came face to face with you again.
“If you wanna stop just say so” you nodded and he pressed a soft kiss to your lips before untying your sweatpants and pulling them down along with your panties.
You did the same to his, until his cock was probing your entrance.
He slowly pushed in as your hands flew around his neck for stability.
He pulled out until just his tip was inside and pushed all the way back in.
Your nails dug into the back of his neck.
Rafe was big. The sting of pain lasted for only a minute before it turned to pleasure and you were moaning his name.
“Faster! Please” you said breathlessly
Rafe picked up the speed as he fucked into you at a relentless speed.
It all happened so fast.
The argument, the making up, the making out, the sex..
You knew this would make things difficult between the two of you, but you didn’t care as your high was approaching.
“Rafe!”
“That’s it baby, squeezing me so tight! Fuck! Cum f’me” he kissed your neck as you gripped his shoulders and let your orgasm wash over you.
Rafe followed shortly after. Releasing deep inside of you.
You two stayed connected for a moment, catching your breaths.
“I love you” Rafe said as he leaned his forehead against yours.
“I love you too” you said smiling.
“No y/n. I’m in love with you, I have been since the first time I set eyes on you” his blue irises pierced into yours.
Your heart started beating faster as he was still buried inside you but his words were far more intimate than what you two just did.
“Rafe I-“ he interrupted you with a kiss.
“You don’t have to say anything now. I just needed you to know”
@f4ll-for-you @v21sstuff @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx @spencerreidsrealgf @rafescokenostril @thievin-stealing
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tojisun · 2 months
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military man simon (ghost) riley x nun!reader
!! suggestive - minors dni, heavy on catholicism; play on blasphemy; im ignoring the code of canon law (of confession and absolution) so yall should too!!; it’s all one-sided btw; female reader
song playing: the apparition (ST) // prev posts: 01, 02
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simon feels the hesitation surround his throat, coiling past the shame before settling in his stomach.
he is hovering, he knows that, but simon will have to disappear for a year at least and while the duration has never daunted him before, he couldn’t say the same now anymore. things have changed. because this time around, he has someone he wants to return home to.
sure, you do not love him that way, but simon chases the affection in your prayers, licking the remnants of your devotion from the edges of your words. he pretends that it is enough. pretends that he is not woken up in the middle of the night by the explosion of his desire, ever so expanding in its carnality.
pretends that there is something else for him in this chapel.
his lips twitch when you finally turn to him with a smile.
“mr. riley!” you greet, walking to him excitably.
“just ‘simon’. please.”
simon’s aware of how his body reacts to you. how, as you draw close, he shifts, muscles rippling to see you better. to hear you better. to pretend that he can ever touch you.
but he doesn’t have to wait. not when you take his hands in yours, holding in a way that is so gentle and sacred, the shame he tried to stomp down begins unfurling from the base of his lungs to tickle the base of his throat, ready to spill over.
“you’re usually not here for the sunday services, simon,” you say, and simon tries to suppress the tremors that racked his body upon hearing you say his name.
again, he wants to plea. say my name again.
but you are looking at him with worry, and while simon is a greedy, greedy man who wants to at least have your concerns if he can’t have your love, he doesn’t like the way your face falls as you fret.
so he smiles, crooked as it is, and tightens his hold on your hands, careful not to do any more lest it just pushes you away.
“yeah,” he replies, his voice croaking. “may i request something, sister?”
sister. it leaves such a vile taste in his mouth.
“of course.” your eyes are still furrowed, your lips downturned in a sorrowful pout. “anything.”
simon breathes in sharply, the weight of your words punching the air out of him, and he buckles, folding into himself as he chokes on his words.
your worry explodes, gentle prodding now a panicked cry. “simon!?”
“it’s nothing,” he lies. “i’m okay.”
you let his hands go—simon tries not to whine—only to feel you pull him closer, short arms curling over his back, your warm palms rubbing soothing nothings against the plane of his spine.
this feels like torture—your kindness will be the death of him.
“please, tell me how i can help you,” you whisper, darling even as you look as lost as you feel. “the church is here for you, simon.”
“i know,” he says even though all he wants to say is ‘all i need is you.’ he breathes in, staggered rasps not quelling your worries, but simon bulldozes past your gentle touch, afraid that he’ll get addicted to this.
“i need your help,” he continues. “help me repent.”
you blink, going slack. you begin to pull away and simon, a man who has faced more painful things more than the feeling of your warmth separating from his, shakily lets you go.
“i cannot give you penance, simon. only the priest can do this—i can go get him-”
simon pulls you close again when you begin to stand up, surely to locate the priest that gave the service today, but simon doesn’t want him. he doesn’t want a stranger to hear the rising tides in his heart. he doesn’t want someone to forgive him for his guilt.
“no,” he whispers, his voice so quiet. so vulnerable. “i can’t-…”
your lips are pursed but your eyes are alight with wonder. with consideration.
simon prays that you will grant him even this.
a heartbeat passes, a stuttering silence ringing in his ears, and then, “okay.”
simon smiles. “thank you.”
-
the rite started like this: with simon sinking into the confessional, watching you from the thin divider as you do the same, noting the way your fists are balling your habit, your hands trembling at the sacrilege.
because simon knows. before coming here, before bowing into himself in front of you, simon already knew. he knew that you could never give him the penance he told you he seeks for. he knew that this—you sitting in the confessional—is a chip to your vow.
he knew that you’ve, once again, put him before the lord.
simon aches to sink his teeth in the plush flesh of your body. to worship you the way you deserve to be. instead, he ignores the festering desire, swallowing the yearning he feels as he does the sign of the cross.
“bless me sister for i have sinned.” he licks at his dry lips. “it’s been…” he hesitates.
“tell me,” you say when his silence draws on. “this is not a place of judgement and forsaking.”
tell me, is what simon hears instead. tell me, i will understand.
“it’s been eighteen years since my last confession,” he continues, breathing raggedly, his face burning up as the words begin spilling. “these are my sins: i am lusting for her, i cannot stop thinking of her.”
the gasp on the other side of the confessional makes his blood jump, his mind feeding him images—is this how you would gasp out if you give yourself to him? is this how you will sing when he takes you, gently and deeply? is this how?
“i dream of a life with her. i dream of the way she will fold herself into my arms, tucking my sharp corners into her tender parts. i dream of the way i can touch her—all-consuming and ravenous. i dream of how she will feel when she’s with me. how she will taste like when i’m with her.”
simon breathes in deeply, the sound slicing through the heavy silence in the booth and passing through his teeth like a hiss.
“i want to devour her. i want to strip the layers of her honesty and fill her with me. just me.”
he clenches his fist, preparing for the last of it all.
“i want to worship her.”
the weight of his words fall like judas’ tender kiss, resounding in their immorality.
“for these, and all my sins,” simon begins after the stretch of silence. “i am truly sorry.”
“i see,” you whisper, breathless yourself. simon wonders how you must look; would you have your eyes open in surprise? would you have your lips pursed in distaste? would you look at simon like the sinner that he is? would you begin to leave him be?
“pray with me,” you say, ripping him from the depths of his uncertainties.
simon lets your words wash over him, dripping down the lines of his veins and dragging across the stretches of his scars. he knows you couldn’t possibly offer absolution, but simon feels forgiven.
more than that, simon feels seen.
he feels raw, his vulnerability exposed to the very person simon who makes simon’s knees buckle, but it feels correct. it feels like this is where simon should be.
at your mercy.
when the confession is over and you two have stepped out of the booth, simon relishes in your shy gaze, eyes fleeting between him and the altar. he smiles, his eyes crinkling, because simon’s heart truly feels at ease.
“thank you,” simon murmurs, hands twitching by his side as he yearns to reach out and pull you close.
“of course,” you reply, bravely holding his gaze. “always.”
that night, in the comfort of his room, simon traces the hardening length of his cock. he shuts his eyes and conjures the image you made—shy, quiet, flustered—and the sounds that spilled from your lips—breathy, choked out, hesitant—and fists at his flesh, thinking.
dreaming.
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ending with an a/n: growing up in a private catholic school and seeing all the censorship pushed sm of us (in school) to romanticize blasphemy n transgressions tbh sooo heres the continuous manifestation of that indulgence (mentioned in pt 01)
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vinvantae · 9 months
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Unmasked
Part 12/16
<<< previous part
Word count: 3.7k
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You sat in the cockpit for a moment longer than someone who just got a podium should have, but you got third. It had felt like a kick in the teeth because had your team given you a chance, you could have won. You would have. You had got the fastest lap and your pace was unmatched but the team had favoured Charles - better strategy paired with team orders meant he had got P2 to your P3, moving him even further ahead of you in the championship.
Part of you didn’t want to face Charles, he’d undoubtedly have your outburst thrown back at his face - telling him just how unreasonable you were, what a bad teammate he had. That you were too emotional. When in reality, if any other driver had been told to hold position when they had more pace - they’d be just as frustrated. You sighed and climbed out of the car, throwing the crowds a thumbs up before going over to be weighed. Charles was standing across parc ferme, nodding as he was being Maxsplained to, his back to you.
You took off your helmet and placed it on its stand before approaching your boyfriend, placing a hand on the small of his back to get his attention. As his green eyes fell to you, all of your guilt melted away - sure he didn’t know about your radio message but this was Charles, he wouldn’t care. He grinned and pulled you into a hug, squeezing you with all his might.
“I’m proud of you, Charles.” You whispered, nuzzling your face into his neck.
You felt his arms tighten around your middle, his voice low - his words were for your ears only. “I’m sorry, this should’ve been your win.”
You frowned and pulled back a little - just enough to lock eyes with him, his gaze was soft. “I… what do you mean?”
“My pace was shit come the end, my tires were gone, they told me you weren’t going to attack. You could’ve won this if they let you.” He pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead before stepping away to do his post race interview.
Your cheeks flushed dark, rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly as Max approached you to give you a congratulatory hug. “What a race, happy to be sharing the podium with you for real.”
“First ever post-race interview before then, wish me luck.” You couldn’t help but cringe as you slowly approached Charles, being handed a microphone ready to speak to the crowd for the very first time since your interview. You took a moment to collect yourself as the interviewer thanked your boyfriend - this was a big step, you’d never spoken to the masses like this before and before you knew it, your name was being called so you stepped up to face them.
As loud as cheers were, you couldn’t help but hear the boos hidden beneath - the dissonant harmony rang through your ears as you put on a smile and waved to the crowds, doing your best to ignore them. “Congratulations on your first podium as you, y/n! How does it feel?”
“Unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced.” You laughed, trying to put on your best brave face as you spoke. “Finally being able to put my name to my achievements is something I’ve always wanted to do and now I’m doing it.”
“Team orders meant you couldn’t race your teammate, you didn’t sound too pleased about it - any more to say now?”
You shook your head. “I understand why they gave the orders and we ended up with a double podium - Charles’ tires were vulnerable and if I had gotten past who knows who else might have.”
“Thank you for your time, I hope to see a lot more of you.”
After one more thumbs up to the crowd you dipped into the cool down room to join Charles and Max who were seemingly engrossed in conversation - you placed your things on your pedestal and grabbed your third place cap, sitting it atop your head. Eyes flickering up to the screen as they replayed clips of the race and you couldn’t help but wince when your radio message popped up at the edge of the screen, ending the conversation in the room in a moment.
“...awkward.”
You narrowed your eyes at Max, not wanting to look at your boyfriend as you willed them to hurry up and take the comms off of the screen. It felt like an eternity before someone spoke again, and you felt Charles’ hand on your shoulder as he spoke. “We’re good, I already told you how I feel. Okay?”
The breath you didn’t know you were holding escaped your lips as you nodded, as you opened your mouth to apologise he simply smiled and shook his head - the three of you being summoned to the podium. This time around, Charles heard the crowd when you stepped out in front of them. After his interview he had gone pretty quickly into the cool down room but there was no denying the chorus of boos that were, despite being quieter, threatening to cover up the cheers. There was something about that horrible sound that seemed to overpower its counterpart.
He wanted to cover your ears, cheer louder than he ever had before to cover it up but once the champagne was in his hand - he opted to distract you by pouring the cold liquid down the neck of your race suit. “Fuck, that’s cold!”
Charles grinned as you laughed, returning the favour by spraying the contents of your bottle over him before taking a big swig. It took everything he had not to wrap you up in his arms and kiss you - but he knew the press of it would be too intense so instead for the podium photo, he pulled you tight into his side.
He was going to have your back, no matter what.
***
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You chewed nervously at the skin around your thumb as you stood in the media pen with your PR manager, waiting for an interviewer to be free. This was your first time in the pen and you could see just why all of the other drivers hated it - you felt like you were in some weird petting zoo. Before you could quietly protest, saying they’ve never interviewed you before, why start now, you were ushered over towards a very excited looking lady - she was the first to get a post race interview with you. After a final deep breath you stepped up to the barricade and gave her a smile.
“Hi y/n, thank you for speaking with me. Great race today.”
“Thank you, it’s a really good result for the team and keeps us in the game for the WCC, we’re ahead right now and we’d like to keep it that way.” You said with confidence, hopefully trying to explain the team orders without shitting on the strategists - as much as you disagreed with it, you wanted to come across as the team player.
She scribbled something down in her notepad before glancing at you through her mascara coated lashes. “Reckon you would’ve won without those orders? You had better pace than Charles and you sounded irritated in your radio message.”
You shrugged a little. “Maybe but there’s no point speculating what could have been. I just need to focus on the next race and hopefully get back on that top step.”
“Thank you, good luck.”
From then on you were ushered from interviewer to interviewer - barely getting a second to breathe before you were asked again and again about the team orders. For the most part they were respectful and you could throw up your media trained answer but as you approached a woman, her carved brow raised and her painted lips curved into an almost evil smirk. You didn’t like where this was going, that was for sure.
“Afternoon, y/n, disappointed by the result?” She went straight in, offering the first jab - which you shook your head at.
“A double podium at this point in the season is key. I’m very proud of the team today.” You refused to break eye contact, the blues of her eyes were intense - like she could read every thought that crossed your mind.
She held up her voice recorder and pressed play - your radio message playing loud over the speaker before she popped it back into the small handbag tucked under her arm. “You didn’t sound too pleased during the race. Don’t you think that after Charles’ performances this season, he deserves to be prioritised by the team? That perhaps you were being a little ungrateful.”
You held your tongue for a moment, the burn of your PR manager’s eyes bore into the side of your head. “In the heat of the moment, I was frustrated, yes. But I understand and respect the team’s decision.”
“You’ve been beaten by Charles in practically every race so far this season - does this mean that you will be second driver from here on out? He is the best shot of winning the championship for the team.” You could almost taste the venom on her words as she taunted you - challenging you to break, so there was proof that you were just this emotional, bitchy woman.
“I will continue to try my hardest in this championship battle, it's not lost yet. We’re barely a third of the way into the season, there’s no telling what’s gonna happen. Thanks.”
You stepped away from her before it got ugly, you knew no matter how calm you were - people were still going to find ways to tear you down. You hadn’t won. You’d complained about Charles. The people who didn’t like you never would - it was hard to accept, especially when they were so damn loud. You felt trapped in your head, their cruel words caging you in as you walked back to the ferrari motorhome for the end of the day.
And as soon as you were alone, you did the worst thing you could have possibly done… and went online.
Charles had already seen some of the responses to your radio message and post-race interviews, for the most part people were on your side but he just knew that for the hundreds of nice comments - there were 10 negative ones that would catch your eye. He got caught up in the media pen longer than he would’ve liked, protecting you from the snark reporters were tossing in your direction, trying to get him to bite back at you. But he was frustrated for you. You were right in your message, you could’ve beat Max and as much as he wanted to win the championship, he didn’t want to do it at your expense.
He lightly rapped his knuckles on the door of your driver’s room, hearing a soft shuffling from inside before the lock unclicked and you peered around. “Hey, been waiting for you… come on in.”
“My interviews dragged on a little more than I would have liked. How are you doing?” Your teammate hummed, stepping into the room - allowing you to lock the door behind him. He crossed over to the couch, draping his arm across the back as you sat beside him.
“...They really don’t like me, Charles.” You mumbled, leaning into his side. “I feel like no matter what I do they’re going to criticise me.”
“Baby, they criticise all of-”
You narrowed your eyes at him, shrugging his arm off of your shoulder - and standing. “Don’t you dare compare criticisms you get to how they talk about me. You don’t get it. You’ll never get it.”
“Then talk to me, y/n!” Charles finally snapped. “How am I supposed to be there for you if you won’t tell me what’s going on in your head! You’re shutting me out. I’m your boyfriend, your teammate… if you can’t talk to me then who can you talk to?”
“I don’t know! Okay?! None of you get it. Lewis maybe but none of you have never and will never be a woman in this community. And I get why now. It’s not because we’re not talented enough because there’s some girls out there with more talent than half this grid in their pinkies but because no one will ever see us the way they see you.” You really didn’t mean to take all of this out on Charles, you knew his intentions were good but he’d opened the can of worms and now he was dealing with the mess. “It doesn’t even matter if I had won the race today, they would’ve accused me of stealing it from you.”
Your teammate stood up and approached you, taking your shoulders in his hands. “I know I won’t ever understand… I’m very aware of how privileged I am. But, I am your number one supporter y/n. I know it’s hard to ignore but we’ll get through this… you’ll get through this. You’re bigger and brighter than they’ll ever be.”
He watched as a tear rolled down your cheek. “I’m… I’m just not sure if I will get through this. I knew there’d be backlash but this? Physical violence… boos everytime I get in front of a crowd? It hurts so much.”
Charles wished he had the right words to say at that moment but instead he wrapped you up in his arms, burying his face into your neck and just holding you close. He felt your arms rest against him weakly, your chin hooking over his shoulder. It was hard for him, you were right - he’d never get what you were being put through. All he could do was defend you, but he was scared it wasn’t enough as you extracted yourself from his hold and started gathering up your things to head home for the day. The spark of hope you had about being revealed had been fully extinguished and he wasn’t sure what to do.
But he knew he had to do something.
***
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“So what’s this all about?”
Charles stood in front of the grid, Lewis and Sebastian either side of him, Seb had somehow managed to pull everyone together for a briefing without you finding out and now 16 pairs of eyes were staring him down.
“It’s about y/n.” He said, fiddling with the edge of the table he was perched against. “All of this criticism is getting too much and we need to back her.”
“All of us get criticism, I don’t see why you need to waste our time with a meeting about this.” Fernando rose from his chair. “I’m sorry, but I am not interested in whatever you have planned… she needs to learn to deal with it herself.”
He shook his head and left the room, muttering to himself in Spanish. Charles stood there quietly for a moment, waiting to see if anyone would follow the driver out of the room but thankfully the rest remained in their seats - he wasn’t sure if it was Lewis and Seb's gazes from behind him keeping them in their seats or if they genuinely wanted to help.
“Look, the criticism we get is nothing compared to the backlash that y/n has been getting…” Lewis said, pushing himself off of the wall to stand beside the younger driver. “I like to think we’ve all stood together before for one of our own. You all stand or kneel with me when I’ve asked before, so I hope this cause is as important.”
“Just because she’s a woman, it doesn’t mean that what she’s achieved is any less.” Seb spoke next. “You all know that. We’re not asking for you to set the FIA on fire, we just want you to stand with her.”
Max leant back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other. “I mean… I’ve got a lighter somewhere.”
Lando shoved his friend’s shoulder lightly. “Idiot. What did you guys have in mind?”
“Just a simple shared statement posted onto our instagrams.” Charles tried to make eye contact with each of his rivals, in an attempt to gauge what they were thinking. “Just saying how we won’t tolerate the bullying and actual violence.”
The Dutchman frowned. “That’s it? She was attacked, Charles… I’m in but you’ve got to have a better plan than that.”
“What did you have in mind?” Lewis said. “We didn’t want to go guns ablaze and scare you guys off.”
“I think a blanket statement is sensible.” George spoke up next, leaning forward in his chair a little - Max still didn’t look impressed. “I think a message like that from all of us will go a long way.”
Max scoffed. “Yeah sure, it won’t come across as a PR move at all. You guys can do whatever you want but I’m not just going to sit here whilst there are people out there who think they can hurt her and get away with it.”
The room fell into a stunned silence as he stood up, he stopped in front of Charles - eyes flickering across his childhood friend’s face. “I’m disappointed in you. She deserves better than this.”
The Monegasque was lost for words as the current champion left the room, the door shutting behind him the only sound in the room. He had no idea how vehemently Max felt about what you were going through.
What surprised him next was Esteban, despite his publicly tumultuous relationship with Max, he didn’t even hesitate to follow him out of the room - muttering something in French about fighting for you. He had never really considered that your other childhood karting rivals would be just as passionate as Max about standing up for you - especially as, unlike the Dutchman, he hadn’t known your secret prior to your reveal. Esteban was never one for bold statements either so the fact he was willing to do something like this surprised most of the drivers in the room.
“Uhm, anyone else?” Charles asked quietly, eyes flickering across the room. He could see a couple drivers looking a little fidgety, like they wanted to go but not knowing what Max had planned - Charles’ idea seemed like a safer bet.
He barely noticed Lewis’ strong hand coming to rest on his shoulder. “Are you still happy doing it like this? We can do something else if you don’t feel like it’s enough.”
Charles frowned a little but nodded. “Yeah. I mean, people can customise things as they see fit but I feel like the more of us they hear from the better. If you’re interested can you leave us a place to send the blanket message to? Thanks.”
He gave handshakes and bro-hugs to each of the drivers as they left the room, not noticing the way that Pierre was hanging back - still sat in his chair. The Frenchman had a feeling in his stomach that Max was right, that this wasn’t enough. He was as guilty as anyone for assuming that Thirty was a man and just like some of the others, he’d known you since you were a kid, he knew what you were capable of but has always taken your story as gospel, never questioned it. The fact he hadn’t recognised you when he joined F1 was just the final nail in the coffin, he’d ignored you more than he cared to admit- even objectifying you like many other women in the paddock.
“Pierre, you okay, man?” The Ferrari driver sat beside him. “Looking a little spaced out.”
“Max is right. I don’t… mate, I don’t have a fucking leg to stand on here.” He laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I wasn’t exactly an advocate for women, for her, being in the sport.”
“C’mon, you didn’t know.”
Pierre’s frown deepened. “That’s not an excuse. I grew up with her and since we stopped racing together I spent more time staring at her fucking tits and ass than taking a second to use my brain.”
Charles went to speak but his childhood companion rose suddenly from his seat. Pierre walked over to the door before stopping with his hand wrapped around the handle.
“Do you not remember before her reveal when you were coming out of that team thirty meeting and I didn’t even consider her? I have to find Max. I’m sorry.”
The Monegasque sat there for a little while longer as he thought about what Max and Pierre had both said. They were right, you did deserve more than just some statement but he was nervous. He was the Tifosi’s golden boy - meanwhile, he was sure Max could get away with anything and well Pierre was a nuisance so he did what he wanted regardless.
And he loved you, he did but his reputation mattered too right? He just had to figure out the best way to do it without putting up the picket signs and actively tearing down the FIA HQ to get them to protect you. His eyes flickered to the door where the grid had since left him to his thoughts. Should he have followed Max, Pierre and Esteban? Or should he stick to Sebastian and Lewis’ sage advice?
He knew you were the only person who would know exactly what to do right now - that you would give him the perfect answer. But he also knew that if you knew what he was up to, you’d say that you weren’t worth all this fuss.
But you were worth it, more than.
As his phone buzzed in his pocket he fished it out, a text from you bringing a smile to his face. The public didn’t need to love you like he did - he wasn’t sure they ever would - but you deserved as much respect as the rest of your rivals. And if meant blindly following Max, Pierre and Esteban as they acted out whatever craziness they had planned…
He was going to do it.
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***
Next part >>>
Thank you all for being patient!! Last weekend was so good 🏎️ hope you enjoy!!
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dumplingsjinson · 1 year
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List of angsty dialogue options which pertains to stupid feelings prompts
“You need to get the fuck out of my head and into my arms right now because I can’t keep thinking about you like this while not being able to hold you; it’s driving me up the walls. You’re driving me up the walls, and the worst part is, you’re not doing shit that should make you drive me up the walls in the first place. You exist, and suddenly I can’t act right or think straight. It’s fucked.” 
“I wish I could hate you, but my wishes never come true.” 
“I’m so deftly terrified of falling in love. Because what if I end up with a broken heart? That thought itself is just so scary to me. I want to, but I can’t get over that fear.” “Then how about you let me be that first step you take into falling in love? I can help you get over that fear, if you’d let me.” 
“I never thought myself capable of feeling things like this, but then you come along, throw a middle finger right in my face, flip my world upside down, and have proven me so very wrong on that.” 
“I don’t like feeling whatever the hell this is.” 
“I could be doing the most interesting shit, and somehow the thought of you will pop up in my mind, uncalled for, and then I end up thinking about you for the rest of the day.”
“I can’t tell if I’m lonely, or if I’m in love. Shit’s a little confusing.”
“Denial can only act as a temporary shield for your feelings. You know that, [name].” “Yeah, but that’s not going to stop me from denying. It’s the only thing I can cling onto for my own sanity, so please don’t take that away from me too.” 
“I see your name pop up on my screen and suddenly I have this huge, stupid smile on my face, and that’s the moment I know I’m more than just screwed.”
“Falling in love feels like a unique type of vulnerable, and I don’t— I don’t want to feel that way.” 
“I’m hung over on something that might never come to fruition.” 
“I’m tired of dancing around with you like this. What exactly are we?” 
“Thinking about you makes me feel so, so, so pathetic, because I can’t have you. I hate it. I hate feeling like this. Why are you making me feel like this?” 
“It’s funny, because I’m missing something that was never meant to be in the first place.”
“Wondering if I like you or if I’m just bored is a pretty shitty dilemma to have.” “You know, maybe I can help you sort that dilemma out.” 
“I think I miss what we could have been rather than what we were.”
“I can be with someone so much better than you, but all I can think about is you, even when I’m with that better someone.”
“People say they fall in love like they fall asleep — slowly, then all at once. But the way I fell for you can only be described as that feeling when you’re drifting off to sleep, only to feel like you’re falling, oh-so-suddenly. So suddenly that it ends up startling you awake; heart racing in your chest because it feels like you fell off the precipice of a cliff. It’s quick and sudden, and there’s no slowness to it. It’s a crash and burn type of love that I feel.”
“I still fell even though I knew it wasn’t going to end well. I knew, yet I still ran head-first into it. What is wrong with me?” 
“I didn’t see you through rose-tinted glasses. I saw the flaws, the red flags, the blemishes you couldn’t hide from me, yet I still ignored them because I thought maybe I could somehow make you a better person despite everything. That’s on me.” 
“You’re always on my mind, yet I feel like I’m not on yours — not even for a second.”
“I didn’t sign up to feeling like this.”
“Can you please give me space so I can get over you?” “…But I don’t want you getting over me.” “You don’t want me getting over you but you’ll never feel the same way I feel towards you! That’s so fucking cruel, knowing you have this hold over me, and despite it all, wanting to keep that hold over me.” 
“I have feelings for you that won’t fuck off, and it’s pissing me the hell off.” 
“I don’t mean to you as much as you mean to me, and it’s fine. I’ve accepted that as my reality.” “Based on what evidence do you think you don’t mean as much to me as I mean to you?” 
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t let go of something which has proven to be hopeless time and time again.” “…Am I not good enough of a reason to not let go?” 
“I’ve given you so many pieces of me, [name]. And I’m spent. You’ve taken everything I could give — even the most important part of me. I’ve given it all to you. I’m fucking empty, because of you. So please, if this is the last thing I ask of you — don’t ask me for more, because I simply have nothing left to give.” 
“You’re everything I could ask for, but simultaneously, everything I couldn’t have.” 
“I could love you for a lifetime, and it wouldn’t mean anything to you.”
“So I have these… Feelings for you. And they have me all fucked up. They keep me up at night, with the what ifs and maybes; with an excitement I don’t think I’ve ever felt before running through my veins, like a fucking drug. They have me acting like someone I’m so unfamiliar with, to the point where it scares me. All I can think about is you, you, you, because you occupy every single space of my mind. It’s like I’m soaring, but then I think about the inevitable: what if all of this comes crashing down one day? That’s gonna fucking suck, so much. Which is why I didn’t want to feel these things, but you made it so hard not to. And now I can’t stop.” 
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chiapetkinnie · 9 months
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Mine
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Warnings- unedited, unprotected sex, creampie, possessiveness and obsession. No use of Y/N, Peter kinda forces himself into reader.
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Peter couldn’t take it anymore. How all these guys in your life treated you, and how you just let them. But he loved how you would run to him and cry in his arms. He loved how vulnerable you got around him.
He hated how much he loved you. The way you would get all flustered when someone would compliment you in the slightest bit. Or when his hands would brush against yours. He knew everything about you. He always watched you. No matter what you were doing. He made sure you were okay. How you would call him in the middle of the night to rant about something, and how you would sneak into his house to cuddle because you couldn’t fall asleep.
Peter loved everything about you. He had a whole shrine , a collection of you. Photos he took from his camera. You were beautiful. So beautiful you caught the attention of many guys. And he hated that. He wanted you all to himself. But it seemed that day would never come . His so called best friend got to you first. Peter tried to confess to you countless times, but he always chickened out. So Harry took it as an opportunity to steal you from him. Harry was handsome, rich, funny, no doubt you would say yes to when he asked you out. It also helped that you have been friends since forever.
He hated your relationship with Harry, at first it was sweet, he loved hearing you rant about little things in your relationship and how happy you were. But things started to take a turn. Harry started being an ass, you would run to Peter and cry to him about all the things Harry did, all the things he would say and do that mad you angry. Peter loved it , he loved how your relationship was terrible and he would add in how terrible Harry was and how you should break up with him. But you never would, you cared too much, you always do.
But this, this was Peter’s last straw. Harry was cheating on you with some hot blonde from Italy.
Of course Peter knew, but he didn’t wanna tell you himself, he wanted you to find out and come crawling to him.
“Peter”, you cried out knocking on his window.
Peter quickly let you in and you clung to his chest and cried. “Hey , hey what’s wrong?” He asked hoping his prayers have been answered. “Harry and I broke up.” Peter wipes your tears , “Why you guys were so Happy” He silently smiled. “Apparently not happy enough for him, he cheated on me” You smiled through the tears. “I walked into his room for our Friday night movie dates like we do every week, I brought snacks and everything, and there he was and some blonde chick on top of him,” You wipe your tears look up at Peter. “Did you know about this,” You ask him. Peter shakes his head, “Of course not, I had no idea about any of this, you guys seemed so happy.” He lifts up your chin. “I’ll tell you what, we can have your movie date here okay, just me and you.” Peter smiles.
You and Peter lay on the bed in each other’s arms watching a movie. Peters sits up and calls out your name. You turn towards him. “I just, there’s something I’ve needed to say to you for a while.” You tilt your head curiously , “Okay well, spit it out ”. Peter takes a deep breath, he was finally gonna do it, “ We’ve been friends for like ever, and I need to say that , Well I love you” You smile at him, “ I love you too Peter.” Peter shakes his head, “ No not like that, you don’t love me the way I love you,” he gets closer to you. “Oh” you whisper as he grips your thigh pulling you closer to him, if any closer your lips would touch. “ I just couldn’t stand all these years of all these guys not treating you right, you know I was gonna confess to you but Harry stole you from me. I’m sick and tired of not being able to have you , not being able to love you.” You blink in shock, he leans in to kiss you but you back away.
“ Peter, I just broke up with my boyfriend, who is your best friend, and you try to make a move on me.” You spoke in disbelief. “ I know but-“ Peter tried to say, “ No Peter, I can’t do this with you, not to Harry, not today.” You shook your head. Peter furrowed his brows, “ But he cheated on you, please, I just wanna make you feel good.” He pulls you back towards him and flips himself on top. He leans down and presses soft kisses to your neck. “ Just let me show you how good I can make you feel, how much I love you” He whispers in your ear. “Peter,” you whisper. He locks his lips onto yours. He caresses your face and deepens the kiss, “Please” he pleads. You look up at him and eventually nod your head yes.
Peter smiles and places his lips onto yours, his hands gently moving around your body. He makes his way down to the waist band of your shorts and slips his hand underneath and starts circling your clit. You gasp at his touch. Peter moved his hand down to your entrance and started pumping his fingers in. You let out a soft moan as Peter starts kissing and biting your neck. “ So pretty ,” He says , picking up some speed in his fingers. You try to hold on your moans. Peter pulls his fingers away and grabs your face. “ Don’t hold back your moans baby, I wanna hear you” you nod your head as a response.
You look up at him as he takes unbuckles his pants and takes out his length. Your mouth agape and he smirks. He brushes his thumb over your lips as he pushes himself into your core. Moans escaping both of your mouths from the feeling. He looks you in the eye waiting for your approval to move and you smile. He begins to thrust in and out. Heavy breaths and grunts escape from his mouth. You don’t hold back your moans of pleasure as he lifts up your waist fucking you deeper. You moan out searching for something to grab on. “ Fuck Baby, you feel so good, My sweet girl” he praises. He drops his hands from your waist. “ Turn around” he says . And you do so. His hands roam your body and he slaps your ass. He places a hand on your ass and rubs his dick on your entrance. “ My pretty girl” he says as he slips back inside.
The sound your skin slapping together fills the room.
You grip the bed sheets as he pushes your head down into the pillow. Moans escaping from your lips and praises from his. “My gorgeous girl, your doing so good for me, taking me so well”. Tears form in your eyes from how hard he’s thrusting, “ Harry never fucked you like this, he never loved you like this.” Peter yanked your head back and gripped your chin. “ Harry never made you feel good like this huh.” You shake your head and try to get the words out but you can’t .
Peter's hand makes it’s way back to your clit as he pounds into you. You smile in pleasure and moan as he circles around one more time, releasing your orgasm.
Peter smiled. He had finally won. He was the one. Making you cum, he was the one with his dick deep inside you making you moan like crazy. He was the one watching the way your ass bounced against his dick. He leaned his head back as he came inside and pulled out. Watching his seed drip out.
And he was the one who got to fill you up. He had won.
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heartss4val · 4 months
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𐑺 ˖ ࣪ ࿐ྂ DATING JOHANNA MASON | gender not specified, but fem!aligned.
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johanna mason, whose preferred love language is being an asshole. (affectionately)
johanna mason, whose walls always remain up after her two experiences in the arena, but somehow crumble involuntarily when she's around you.
johanna mason, who lets you touch up the cherry red streaks in her hair, standing between your legs while you sit on the countertop, face cradled in your hands as you coat every strand of hers with the color.
johanna mason, whose eyes flicker from sharp and piercing to ever so soft as her gaze lands on you.
johanna mason, who talks of future plans with you during the games should she not survive the quarter quell, dreaming of the house you would have bought and the life you would have shared if it weren't for the corruption of the capitol.
johanna mason, who teaches you how to wield an axe, her scarred hands cradling yours as she guides you through the motions.
johanna mason, who tends a nasty gash on your arm after your attempt at wielding said axe.
johanna mason, who scolds you for attempting to use her axe and mocks your 'stupidity', as if she hadn't been totally terrified just seconds earlier.
johanna mason, who's the black cat to your golden retriever.
johanna mason, who lets you call her by all the cheesy nicknames you wish—nicknames that she would rather die than hear come from anyone else's mouth. johanna mason, who feigns disapproval of such affectionate names, but you can see the slight upturn of her lips whenever you address her by one.
johanna mason, who is constantly afraid of you leaving her, due to her snappy and impatient personality that she uses as a defense mechanism to cover up the vulnerability and trauma that lies underneath. johanna mason, who has never let you know about her insecurities, but maybe she'll let it slip as the years go by.
johanna mason, who's a total winter bug and immediately clings to you the second the temperature drops. latching onto your leg and gazing up at you with red, puffy eyes and a runny nose as she suffers through the flu, begging for you to stay with her when you try to go brew her some tea.
johanna mason, who smiles a lot more when you're around. and not her usual cynical 'i'm lowkey judging you' smile, but a quirk-lipped smirk that appears every time you enter the room.
johanna mason, who wakes up thrashing and trembling in the middle of the night, as the nightmares of her time in the capitol continue to haunt her even after she escaped. she either clings onto you for dear life, needing to feel your touch, or pushes you away completely, struggling to come to grips with her reality.
johanna mason, who holds you firmly against her when you both go back to sleep, her eyes unblinking for the first few hours because she needs the reassurance that she isn't dreaming and that you won't leave her.
johanna mason, who whispers to you in your sleep, telling you how much you mean to her because there's no way she can be this soft when you're awake.
in conclusion, johanna mason. that's it.
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