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#vine quotes
bandit-brunsmeier · 15 hours ago
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*Assassin's Beach Vacation*
Edward buried in the sand: I am the sand Guardian! Guardian of the sand.
Ezio: POSEIDON QUIVERS BEFORE HIM.
*a wave coming towards them*
Edward: FUCK OFF
*back at home*
Arno surprising jacob: Hey babe, happy 1 year <3
Jacob: *thinking* I'm 27-
Everyone around them: *face palm*
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bandit-brunsmeier · 15 hours ago
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*Jacob tutorials*
Jacob: how British people shower!
Also Jacob: THE SAME AS YOU, YOU IDIOT. You get nice and wet and you get the tea bags-
Evie: WHY DO YOU HAVE TEABAGS IN THE SHOWER
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bandit-brunsmeier · a day ago
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*That awkward moment when you're scrolling through someone's old Instagram photos and you accidentally comment the entire declaration of independence*
Connor scrolling through Altaïr's profile: Oh shi-
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bandit-brunsmeier · 3 days ago
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*Kassandra Evie Jacob and Alexios in the car*
Kassandra: He doesn't deserve you, If he doesn't treat you right by now, you're gone
Evie: I'm gone!
Kassandra: NOW GO CHOP HIS DICK OFF!
Evie:
*while Jacob and Alexios in the back*
Alexios: Do you sing in the shower?
Jacob: No...
Also Jacob: I perform
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bandit-brunsmeier · 4 days ago
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Jacob: did you hang out with Elise last night?
Arno: you know, yeah I did
Jacob: oh, great, I love Elise! *Nervous laughter*
Arno: but you said you hate Eli-
Jacob: *pulls out pistol* YEAH, NO SHIT HONEY.
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say-hi-to-my-grave · 4 days ago
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kaeya: hey can i get a sip of that water
rosaria: it’s not water
kaeya: ah vodka, i like your style bro. nice—
rosaria: it‘s vinegar
kaeya: what
rosaria: it’s vinegar, pussy
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trashiiartii · 7 days ago
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hajime has something to say
Tumblr media
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sadlittlepotatobean · 7 days ago
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Hehehe
Percy when Chiron gave him riptide for the first time in pen form: it’s a pen, thaaaannnnnnkkkkssssss
(like the ‘it’s an avocado. thanks’ meme)
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inejsbiatch · 7 days ago
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My future daughter coming out to me
Her: Hey mum I'm lesbian
Me: I thought you were American
Her:
Me:
Her: mum I've never even been to america....
My wife: -cackling in the distance-
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feralthot420 · 7 days ago
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hi my name is derek welcome to pizza huh
let me get some pizza-
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baylecn · 10 days ago
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Joe: That's it! Your in time-out! Get on top of the fridge! Get on there!
Reki: *climbing the fridge* This house is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!
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vixthevalkyrie · 13 days ago
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Genji: HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT's gOoD fOr mE?
Mercy: THAT'S MY OPINIONNN!!!..
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lovely-beatles · 15 days ago
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Paul: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing
John: But you DIDN'T!
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pinkkento · 19 days ago
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jjk as vine quotes
okay so i saw @sukirichi do this and it had me fucking crying so i wanted to add to it
itadori yuuji:  *after coming back to life* i’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me 
nobara kugisaki: what the FUCK is up kyle?  no what did you say dude? what the fuck dude?  step the FUCK up kyle
megumi fushiguro: *dodging a pillow that yuji threw* try me bitch
satoru gojo to nanami: cOuntry bOy i lOve yOu...m l e h
nanami kento to satoru: what the fuck, richard?
kiyotaka ijichi: road work ahead? uh, yeah, i sure hope it does
panda: so i’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties
mai zenin, singing: if you want my body, and you think i’m sexy, come on say ni hao! *miwa yelling ni hao in the distance*
inumaki toge after maki says she’s a lesbian: i thought you were american
shoko ieiri: miss keisha, miss keisha, miss keisha.  oh my fucking god she fucking dead
mahito to nanami in the sewer: hi welcome to chili’s!
maki zenin: hey everybody, today my sister pushed me so i’m starting a kickstarter to put her down
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abandoned-inky-rabbit · 25 days ago
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Matt/FNAF 3 Guard: Oh, that feeling when you get in a room and you forgot why you've been in there-
*Springtrap breaks in the room*
Matt/FNAF 3 Guard: Oh that's right a serial killer robot was chasing me!
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abandoned-inky-rabbit · 25 days ago
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Basically the relationship of these two in Follow Me AU
Springtrap: *creeps up behind Scraptrap and shoots a gun in the air*
Scraptrap: AAAAAAAAAAAAH-
Scraptrap: THIS IS WHY MATT DOESNT FUCKING LOVES YOU
Springtrap: *Wheeze*
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