#very good for those who are also emotionally constipated i suppose

[ms--lobotomy]

Welcome to the community! Love your style - haven’t had a laugh as good as while reading the worm post in a while.

How about a slice of life piece with Perturabo? I always thought anyone who he considers as a s/o must have a pretty strong personality lol

howdy, anon! first of all, thank you so much! second, im going to take "slice of life" as a slice of life in our universe, not wh40k canon. this means that i can diverge even more from canon than normal! fun!

enough yapping, here's your fic bestie

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summary: you decide to do something nice for perturabo and he doesn't know how to take it because he is so emotionally constipated

word count: 989

content warnings: perty's a rude lil shit but you can take it, right? also implication of diddlin'

---

Beams of light found their way through the tree in your front yard into the window at the front of your house and onto the fake-wood floor. It wasn't much as far as houses went, it was small and ratty and some of the lights didn't work. But it was a place to live, and you and your lover had to take what you could get.

Clad in a t-shirt that was many sizes too big for you, you buttered up the old pan that you had and broke three eggs into it. One for you, two for him. They began to bubble from the bottom after a while, and you smiled. You weren't normally the cook in this relationship; he preferred to do the things like cooking himself. But sometimes he would bury himself in his work and forget to eat or otherwise take care of himself. Today was one of those days. When you woke up, you saw him already hard at work on another painting.

As you were getting the bacon from the fridge, you heard the booming footsteps that could only belong to your lover. Perturabo. Your heart stopped in your chest for a split second--this was supposed to be a surprise! Soon enough, he stood in the doorway, almost too tall for it. There was paint on both his shirt and his shorts. He began to speak, his voice booming.

"I thought I was going to be making breakfast today," he said curtly.

"Tough luck," you replied, putting a few strips of bacon on the griddle. The crackle it made was quite satisfying to the ear. "You had your chance and you didn't do it."

He walked over to you, putting his free arm around your waist. His arms were quite large He leaned over you, surveying your handiwork. "You let them cook for too long," he pouted, nestling his head in the crook of your neck. He wrapped his arms around you as you began to separate egg white from egg white.

"I barely cooked these," you said. "Do you want salmonella?"

He chuckled, rocking you back and forth. You couldn't see it, but a slight smile dusted his lips. "Even if I could get it from this," he took a hand away from you quickly to gesture to the food, "it'd be worth it."

"If you're sure," you replied, breaking away from his warm embrace to put his allotted two eggs onto one of the plates that you had pulled out.

While you waited for the rest of it to finish, you grappled for his hand. There were a few paint stains on it, and you had no doubt you'd be getting paint on your hands as well. It's not like you were going anywhere today. He looked... stumped at this development. Almost as if he couldn't process what was going on.

"What, you can't handle some good ol' Christian hand-holding?" you asked, using the broken plastic spatula in your free hand to move the rest of your meal to your plates. "Even after last night?"

The color drained from his face. You got him. You smirked, giving that stupidly warm hand that enveloped yours a squeeze. "No, but really. I promise you that you're just as worthy of affection as..." you trailed off. The people around him? That wouldn't be very worthy in his eyes. Unless it was someone like...

"You're just as worthy of affection as I am." You looked up at him, and the smile on your face was genuine.

You didn't know how a man of his size could let out such a little "Oh...", but he did. He sheepishly let go of your hand and grabbed his plate, the meal looking pathetically small next to him. You could see the wheels turning in his head as he thought of what to say next. Something genuine? Something flippant? Something somehow both?!?

"I wanted to show you something," he finally blurted out. There was still this flustered look on his face as he sat at the table.

You finished your meal soon enough, and as you put your dish in the sink, you felt a hand at the bottom of your jaw. You felt your neck turn at an awkward angle to look up at your lover, and he had a smug grin on his face.

"Close your eyes, dear," he said.

Oh. He said dear. This was serious. As you closed your eyes, you could feel the hand move from your neck to your eyes, enveloping them in darkness. You didn't know why he told you to close your eyes in the first place, but you weren't going to press further. He put his free hand on your shoulder and led you through the small house. You didn't get very far before you got to your bedroom, a small thing with just enough room for an easel and some art supplies.

He removed his hand. The painting faced you, clear as day. It was a beautiful rendition of him holding a worm. If it weren't for the clear brush strokes, it would have looked like a photograph taken of him.

"It's beautiful," you started, "but I don't get it."

"Remember when you asked me if I would love you if you were a worm?" he asked with a chuckle. "This is me. With my beautiful worm partner."

"Oh!" you exclaimed. You remembered asking in the dead of night, while you were nothing but a lump in his arms. He'd dodged the question at the time, but he'd clearly been thinking about it. "So you would love me if I were a worm!" you laughed. "I knew it!"

You threw your arms around him. Despite the difference in size between you two, he recoiled a little bit. He wrapped his arms around you and rested his head on top of yours. And in this little house, you were content.

#perturabo x reader #primarch x reader #warhammer 40k x reader #reader insert #perturabo #warhammer lobotomy #god we're all stupid for him on this hellsite #wheres his tumblr sexyman page

[tumblezwei]

I am a Ruan Mei defender, not because I think she's a blameless misunderstood character, but bc I am very afraid of people interpreting her terrible actions as bad writing bc "the game still expects us to like her" or overexaggerating her bad traits in order to make Dr. Ratio look better by comparison.

And that's not to say I think Ratio is a "bad" guy either, I think the whole point of introducing him alongside Ruan Mei was to highlight how different the Genius Society operates compared to "normal" academics. Ratio's over the top arrogance makes him off-putting at first, but his genuine desire to spread knowledge to everyone who wants to learn it is the perfect contrast to the obsession and selfishness of the Genius Society, who only ever care about fulfilling their own desires without concern for those below them. Even Screwllum, the member who seems the most sociable and friendly, let Ratio carry on with his antics on the space station just to see what would happen, even though it put the Trailblazer in danger and threatened the whole facility.

So that is to say, Ruan Mei is like that on purpose. We aren't supposed to see her drugging us and sending us after an incomplete Emanator of Propagation and be confused as to how she's a "goody guy." She isn't. None of the members of the Genius Society are "good" people just bc we're allied with them. Herta uses Traliblazer as a guinea pig for the Simulated Universe after all, and we now know that as long as it's something he's curious about, Screwllum won't interfere to protect us even when he's already figured out the solution to the problem we're facing.

But I also want to do a little apologism for Ruan Mei bc sometimes the accusations I see lobbed at her is a bit much. Like, yeah, she drugged us, but it was a temporary inhibitor that literally only stopped us from giving people information about Ruan Mei. And she didn't do it just to fuck with us? Ruan Mei is incredibly aware of how emotionally detached she is and knows it's almost impossible for her to understand the affection given to her by her creations. She doesn't drug us out of some evil desire to control information, she does it bc she knows her time on the space station is temporary and wants to avoid leaving behind any memories of her being there. That doesn't make it okay and it's still presented alongside everything else she does that's uncaring towards TB and her creations, but it makes it a little more complicated than just "she's an unfeeling sociopath that would happily watch us die." It's bad, but it's also one of Ruan Mei's weird and not good ways of showing consideration.

It's interesting, is what I'm saying. It's compelling. And I don't really dig how it she gets reduced to a two-bit manipulator.

I'm a bit of a stickler for this particular thing bc it's something I truly adore about HSR's writing, and also something I see as one of the game's core themes. There is no clear divide between "good" guys and "bad" guys. The Genius Society is full of emotionally constipated weirdos who wouldn't pay a single bit of attention to us if we weren't interesting to them, but they're also important allies to the Express. The Stelleron Hunters are our biggest opposition and wreak havoc on whatever planet they enter, but we know that their goals somewhat align with our own and unless you go out of your way to be mean to her with every dialogue option, it's pretty obvious that Kafka is someone Trailblazer loves.

And even Cocolia, someone who almost destroyed the last remnants of civilization on her own planet, gets treated with sympathy. Bronya is allowed to mourn her mother and still see her as an aspirational figure, all the while Serval is allowed to break off ties with her and definitively move on from her past.

It's a theme that carries over to a lot of HSR's important side quests too, where often you're expected to choose between two options that both have some pretty heavy downsides no matter what. You have your own moral compass, and along the way the choices may seem crystal clear, but it's never so black and white as you predict. It's a game about decisions, about making your own way in life and learning about the different worldviews of those you meet. Good or bad, helpful or hurtful, it's not always so obvious as "this person did something bad to me, now I will forever dislike them."

"When there is the chance to make a choice, make one that you know you won't regret," "explore, understand, establish, and connect," "the Express welcomes everyone" etc etc

#this post took more turns that I originally planned #but once I got on one topic it railroaded me into the other #so now there's this #honkai star rail #honkai posting #rambling

[i-write-hurt-not-comfort]

in the defence of Ruki Mukami - why Ruki's trauma has just as much influence on his actions as everyone else

i am sitting in the chemistry library at uni right now and am going to spend my time on the most useless task ever to avoid doing anything impactful. please don't take this too serious because i can't write meaningful character analyses.

so i've seen a ton of stuff around, because i know Ruki's not one of the best loved characters in the western fandom. well, of all the characters, i see nearly the most Ruki hate. and obviously everyone is entitled to their opinions, whatever. but what DOES bother me is the reason.

a lot of people say that Ruki's trauma doesn't correlate to his actions, or explain abusive behaviour in the same way that the other characters' do. and i would die for Ruki and we know this, but i've thought about it a lot and i have a Theory as for why some people seem to view his character this way. (i have also studied neuroscience at degree level and learnt about trauma and synaptic plasticity)

to summarise for those who perhaps haven't read all the games (my sources for all this is basically Ruki's MB, DF, and LE), Ruki was born as an only-child in Romania to a rich family, and his father was revealed to be a politician during the Ceaușescu period in Romania. they had a lot of servants, all of whom Ruki learnt from a young age to abuse. he admired his father very much and looked up to him, and his mother was good to him and was close to his father. it would seem like a very good, perfect family - although i'll briefly discuss later why this wasn't necessarily the case.

unfortunately, in the DL universe lore, Karlheinz and Ceaușescu were buddy-buddy politicians, and Ruki's father was eventually chased out of his position. during his downfall, Ruki's father became an alcoholic and began abusing Ruki's mother, verbally and physically. Ruki saw a lot of this as well: somebody he looked up to, admired and trusted, becoming an abusive monster in a very short period of time. i think that's part of why Ruki overlooks Karlheinz's crimes and sees him as a good father anyway.

not only that, Ruki's mother - once again somebody who nurtured and cared for him - turned out to be having an affair. and shortly after that, his father committed suicide: something Ruki actually walked out on.

that in itself is a lot more traumatic than i think people consider. a lot of the DL characters have long-term trauma, but intense sudden trauma, such as your "perfect" life falling apart due to an alcoholic, abusive father killing himself and his mother having an affair, has similar psychological impact. remember, these are people who were supposed to care and nurture him, he trusted them a lot, and they both abandoned him abruptly in very extreme ways. that's the number 1 root of Ruki's trust issues. he's been seen to cut Yui off entirely because he's scared of becoming his abusive father.

similarly, living in a "perfect" household as a spoiled only child can be inherently traumatic. i don't know about you guys, but i've met some (only some, not the majority) of very, very emotionally constipated spoiled only-children. a lot of children showered with materialistic affection are missing key emotional maturity developments. their outlook on life is very narrow and they lack the emotional components of attachment; this is part of why Ruki is quite emotionally immature.

not only that, but growing up as an abusive sociopath to "lower" members of society such as servants is a form of abusive on his parents' behalf. they did not teach him proper world awareness. some children are born as psychopaths etc, true, but the majority of "sociopaths" (diagnosed as ASPD) are that way because they were not taught remorse as a child. Ruki would've learnt to treat his servants that way because that was how his parents did (and we see his father being a dick to the servants in LE too i think), and that in itself is inherently traumatic too.

imagine then, with very little capacity for remorse or a concept of societal hierarchy, being thrown into an orphanage. Ruki is a dick to everyone, yes, but the shock of having everything you know challenged suddenly and without explanation or support is going to cause further trauma. i think people just don't like to consider the fact that a lot of "sociopaths" (again, ASPD is the correct label there) were victims too. he went from being the "master" to being "livestock" and that's going to very rapidly alter your young brain chemistry, entering a "master" mindset as a defensive mechanism. that's why he gets angry/upset/confused when it's challenged.

Ruki has a fuck ton of PTSD as well - he's the only character who i've seen literally throw up MULTIPLE TIMES when experiencing flashbacks.

but i think people generally know that, perhaps not thinking about it as deeply. my Theory as to why people don't seem to see this as being as "extreme" as the other boys' trauma goes further than that.

diabolik lovers follows this dynamic between the Sakamaki's vs Mukami's, whereby Yuma, Kou and Azusa (Yuma and Kou more strongly) have this mindset of "the Sakamaki's can't have trauma because they were rich" and obviously as readers, we're supposed to be like "um, no, the Sakamaki's can have trauma too" because they do.

with that said, Kou and Yuma do successfully get to Subaru/Laito and Shu's heads respectively with this narrative. especially Subaru and Shu who get really fixated with this "i was a spoiled, privileged kid" and because of that, naturally we, as readers, lean towards feeling sorry for the Mukami's especially.

obviously, Ruki is the odd one out when it comes to the Mukami's. he had a sheltered upbringing whereas the other brothers were fighting for their lives in poverty/on the streets, victims and witnesses of the civil war and orphan crisis. Yuma particularly pushes this "Ruki had it easy" notion too, and i've definitely noticed that a lot of people who don't particularly like Ruki tend to fall towards that.

this idea of "not enough" trauma has enough to unpack as it is and we won't do that to, but personally i think that all of Ruki's abusive actions are justified. no, they are not an excuse. none of the diaboys' behaviour is excusable, but i think Rejet did quite a good job of giving them enough fucked up backstory to make us as readers at least understand why that might be how they act.

and from what i see, it seems to be Ruki who people think is the exception to this the most, because his trauma isn't in the same vein as the rest of the Mukami's. the "rich people can't have trauma" narrative gets pushed so hard that i think people forget 1) it isn't true and 2) Ruki went through a ton of fucked shit as a kid, and i don't think any of his actions made me feel any differently than the other diaboys' awful behaviour towards Yui.

you can find Ruki boring, not interesting, or just not your type. but he very, very much has "sufficient" trauma to explain his toxic and dominating actions. thank u for coming to my TedTalk.

#diabolik lovers #ruki mukami #this is over 1.2k words btw this is insane

[galvanizedfriend]

what do you think about the baby plotlines? about hope and the twins? do you think they ruined any chance of klaroline being together? or do you think kc could have been together for real and had a good relationship if the babies didn't exist?

This might seem surprising since I have written over a million words of baby fic (although I will argue that it's not a baby fic, it's a fic that contains a baby, which is very different 😌), but I hate the baby plot. I'm a clown. 🤡

It's not about Hope or the twins in particular, nothing against them, I just think that suddenly including magical babies in a supernatural story about vampires is just about the stupidest thing you can do. Vampires are not supposed to have babies, period. I remember watching the backdoor pilot episode of The Originals not having the slightest clue what to expect because I wasn't in fandom back then, or even following anything about TVD, just watched the episodes as they came out, and the moment they revealed The Originals' move to New Orleans was about a baby, I turned off my TV. Whoever thought that giving Klaus A BABY was the best thing they could do for him, is an idiot that should've been fired on spot.

If they wanted to explore the whole father-child situation, drawing from Klaus' immense well of daddy issues, they could've used Marcel. It would've been so much more powerful and so much more interesting. The thought that Klaus, out of all the Originals, would just decide to embrace fatherhood after getting a one-night stand he didn't even like accidentally pregnant makes NO SENSE AT ALL. This is the man who stabbed his siblings and carried them around in coffins as a love language. And people want me to believe that this violence-first, emotionally constipated hybrid would want to raise a child. Sure.

As for Caroline's pregnancy - I guess once you have established that Klaus could make magical babies, then anything was possible. The excuse they used that Candice was pregnant was so dumb though. So many movies and shows have been shot while the actresses were heavily pregnant, but their characters weren't. Catherine Zeta Jones was six or seven months pregnant in Chicago. Everyone in Grey's Anatomy had babies. Ellen Pompeo had three onscreen babies but none of them were written to match her real life pregnancies. In fact, Candice had to wear a prosthetic belly because she wasn't pregnant ENOUGH. So stupid.

HAVING SAID THAT. I don't think the babies were the reason why Klaroline didn't happen. At the end of the day, it wouldn't have been something that would've kept them apart if the writers had wanted to go there. If anything, babies could've brought them closer. I mean, Klaus should've been completely inept when it comes to taking care of another human being who's entirely dependent upon him. Caroline, as a carer at heart, could've seamlessly fit into the narrative. And especially after they gave her babies as well, they could've easily connected through their snowflake kids.

In fact, my personal headcanon (somewhat backed by real canon) is that they did. Klaus gave her money for her school, and while I don't think he did it so he could send Hope there later on as Legacies tried to make us believe, I do think the reason he ended up allowing Hope to attend the school was BECAUSE Caroline was there. He trusted her with his daughter, in a way he probably wouldn't have trusted anyone else, particularly because he was absent. He needed to know she would be safe and in good hands, and that was definitely not because of Alaric. And I also think they kept in touch during all those years where Hope went to school there and he went on a murder bend around Europe. Hayley couldn't get a hold of him, but Rebekah IMMEDIATELY knew who she could reach out to to find him. If Caroline hadn't seen or spoken to him in 15 years, that would make no sense. The way Klaus is all 'Trying not to flatter myself that you're here on a sudden whim to see me' implies more intimacy than two people who hadn't spoken in over a decade would've had. They were definitely in touch. How much touching was involved is up to your imagination. :)

One thing I wish Legacies had explored was Caroline's relationship with Hope. They obviously had one, we were just never shown it, which is sad, because there were so many interesting layers that could've been explored. It's also in my personal headcanon that Lizzie would've been fascinated with Klaus had him and Caroline ever had a chance to be together and he got to hang around her kids as well, and the irony that her middle name is Jenna is just delicious (Klaus wouldn't have felt the slightest bit of remorse). It would've given Alaric so much grief.

In conclusion, Klaroline could've been together with or without the babies. They weren't what was standing between them. Stupid writing was.

#yokan answers #anon #i love replying to asks #but bear in mind that whenever you ask me something you're just giving me an opportunity to launch into a ted talk lol

[kitsudead]

17. they’re crying—what did it take to make them cry?

13. what are some motifs you associate with them? did you intentionally bring in those motifs, or did it happen over time?

45. what lies do they tell themselves?

17.

Malina does not cry often, but seeing her family hurt, when she cannot so anything to help them, would absolutely bring her to tears. She also cried a lot after her transformation, usually when no one else was around to see or hear anything.

Robin will cry easily at the mention of her past life, specifically her family and loved ones. Does not mention Ashe often because they like to appear tough and they know they will have a full blown meltdown if they think about her. Might feel slightly guilty about stealing her dead gfs identity as well. On the other hand, any genuine display of care and affection has the potential to make Robin cry.

Zailaia is a crybaby. She will cry if someone speaks to her in a slightly different tone than usual, she will cry if she sees a tiny animal, she will cry while watching tv, she will cry over cute animal facts, will also cry if someone’s nicer to her than she expected. It’s a miracle she manages to not cry sometimes.

Lydia Cornellia cried once in her adulthood, and that was when she was leaving her home island for the first time in her life. She’s very composed and maybe even slightly emotionless, especially after becoming a clockwork sorcerer, so she does not really react strongly to anything. If she was a little less emotionally constipated, she’d cry from being so overwhelmed with outside world. What do you mean there’s more than two people to interact with at nearly all times??

13. Technically all of those are better classified as themes, not motifs, but having actual, solid motifs in a game where only a portion of the storytelling is up to you, is kind of, difficult to achieve, so we’re going to pretend that themes and motifs are synonyms

Malina’s main theme thorough the story is her desire for a loving family. I brought up the fact that she sees the party as her family multiple times and you can be sure it will be brought up again. Her immediately adopting anyone within adoption range is also a form of expressing that desire. Another repeating motif is failure to cut herself off from her family’s legacy: she looses her cool, becomes violent, is greedy and controling, that culminated in her skin turning white (my fave visual manifestation of her faliure tbh). Visually, her main motif is lots of folk elements! Mostly from polish culture, but the last one took inspiration from ukrainian folk fashion as well

Robin’s recurring motif is self sacrifice. She’s sacrificing her time, energy, giving up precious rest just so she can work a little longer and help the party in some way. It’s also something seen in her backstory, when she decided she can and will punish those that wronged her people, no matter the cost (risking death upon being caught). Funny thing is, that one was not planned, it just sort of happened. Originally, her theme was supposed to be atonement, and yet it seems that her evil tendencies are only being enabled (affectionate). Visually and narratively, there are also butterflies she makes! They remind them of the good memories from her life and symbolize change and growth. Gifting the party with butterfly-themed stuff is their way of showing affection.

Zailaia’s theme that WILL become relevant to her character later is transition. Not in the gender way (that already happened), but in the growing and maturing kind of way. She needs to let her insecurities go and accept herself for who she is. Later on, those insecurities will manifest (they kind of did already) in an ongoing feeling of being replaceable and useless to the party. It’s something she will struggle with for a while. But its all an important part of her growth as a person! Visually, I wanted sort of, commonly clashing (for bullshit reasons lets be real) themes of strength and femininity. Physically strong female characters are often seen as masculine, so I made it my mission to make Zailaia as cute and pink and stereotypically girly as humanly possible so you absolutely CANNOT avoid recognizing her femininity.

Lydia Cornellia’s main theme will be forging her own path in life already burdened by fate and being influenced by otherworldly powers. For the first time in her life she can make her own choices, but that does not mean she knows how to do that. Lydia Cornellia needs to restore balance not only in the world, but also, most importantly, in her own life

45.

Malina lies about being nothing like her family.

Robin lies about having no regrets.

Zailaia tells herself that she likes being a mother to her siblings

Lydia Cornellia lies, that she misses her late mother (and that she knows what she’s doing)

#dnd ask #ask game #dnd oc

[mrstsung]

My problem with the "dont get attached to mortals" issue with raiden is its not done in the way that is healthy.

This isn't repressing your emotions nor attachment to people.

The healthy way is understanding that life is brief and to enjoy it while it is here. That is the entirety of zen.

To enjoy and be happy in the moment and understand all things must come to an end. But like death. Life also is inevitable. It's gonna grow again. And again.

The cycle never ends. Thats the point.

Life happens,shit happens bruh.

Raiden isn't supposed to repress his emotions. He never was about that. Nor shying away from mortals.

(Dunno where they get this from. I feel its Americans view on what zen and buddhism sorry not sorry but as an American i can safely say it tends to lean that way. Because we are unfortunately are indoctrinated af. Oof. And its not holding it in. Its feeling it,sitting with it.and letting it go like storm passing,which is essentially raiden. You are human not a rock. Not a robot. Ok?)

Again raiden being careless,emotionally 1 dimensional,completely detached(not saying he can be detached,but they way it comes off in canon(whatever that means at this point) makes no sense) and not the sassy,wise,faith in his warriors,loving and compassionate man/god that i remember.

Like i cry everytime they make raiden backtrack on his personality. Because like this character is near n dear to my heart.

Like sure i self ship with him. Dont get me wrong. But raiden specifically is more special because he is indeed and comfort character.

But also the raiden i grew up with. Was actually a protector,a big bro and father figure to everyone.

And i mean a genuine father figure. Not whatever NRS is trying to pass as one these days.

No i mean i real one. Who admits,they aren't perfect,they try their best,and they aren't afraid to tell those they love they love them.

The playful childlike spirit. Thats raiden.

Thats the god of thunder.

Like a storm. Like the damn nature and element he's based after!

Like good god its not that hard to write or understand if you take the time to sit with it. But people take things at such face value with certain characters

And they don't understand there are nuances to things.

Look i admit its not the easiest thing in the world. Even i struggle. But im aware of them.

Anyways. This went in a rant more about life than raiden. Lol

Still its just raiden can be awkward without being emotionally constipated.

There are other ways to show introverts and detachment. Other than "i am a brick wall and dunno what im doing and dont wanna interact with hooman mortals" because thats not raiden. Raiden was very active with his champions and warriors. Like god i could go on about how they do his so daamn dirty.

URGHHHH.

Anyways more actually non venting raiden kontent coming soon. Sorry for that.

#mortal kombat #raiden mk #raiden mortal kombat #vent #look raiden deserves better #NO I WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT RAIDEN TILL HE'S DONE BETTER! #nrs get yo shit together! #💙⚡thunder's devotion⚡💙 #here admin goes about raiden again #mk discourse

[sonofshin]

"I suppose...I was just curious. That's all." The man looked up to Leng Yun with those bruised eyes, "Hm, you do have good looks." he chuckled, pulling back and lifting his hands. "Well...alright, maybe I'm more than just curious."

Robin took a breath, taking out a pocket watch and fiddling with the notches and arrows. "I've not...been completely honest with Dusk, he thinks I'm some goodhearted individual that is just bubbly and probably somewhat daft." There was an air of guilt that radiated off of him as he avoided looking at Leng Yun, as if the camera suddenly being on him caused him to recede and want to vanish.

"I was a selfish man and I...I definitely wasn't any bit good, and I SWORE...SWORE I was just talking to Dusk to bother him, how couldn't I? He was so easy to annoy, and I--" He turned his head up to him, waving his hand, "So uhh, well, see, the funniest thing happened, and I..I think I broke my own rules. To...not care. But now I care and its terrible and I hate it. I...I like being near him, but I know that it isn't..."

Robin slumped, sitting on a nearby rock, "Isn't for me, and if I tell him that I was a complete piece of shit, he'll probably hate me."

A long pause.

"How DID you get your hair that long and not tangled? It's barely even got any frizz! That's magical."

A light breeze is summoned as Robin starts pouring his heart out to Leng Yun. Ohohoo, now this is some good tea.

"Have you developed feelings for him?" He purred. Aaah, how exciting. Yone has somewhat of a boyfriend. Cute. Too cute.

"Well, I do admit that Yo- Dusk is a bit difficult to talk to. I've just been lucky to have dated his brother, so I know how to deal with him. They are very very different but also very very similar in many regards. Like being emotionally constipated." Leng Yun hums, very much amused by this conversation. Finally it wasn't him who was struggling with his feelings and falling over himself.

"And you don't know how he feels about you, right? What makes you so sure he would think less of you if you admit you have feelings for him, hm? Isn't it normal to have feelings for a kindred spirit? Just give it to him logically, he'll understand it better." Yone was a stick in the mud. A horrible one. Rude, direct, and uncaring for the most part. But one couldn't really blame a dead man for that behaviour. It was just annoying. So Leng Yun kept his interactions brief. But as Yone was Yasuo's brother, he still enjoyed being around him.

"Oh but my hair is just a natural miracle. I take very good care of it and develop my own shampoo and ointment to feed it. That's what gives it such a shine."

#witchcraftandburialdirt #Yun almost spilled the beans on Yone's name

[neonveins906]

does anyone else ever listen to undertale music again out of the blue just to Feel Things or am i just really really bad at emotions

#undertale music makes me cry everytime i physically cannot listen to the soundtrack without sobbing #very good for those who are also emotionally constipated i suppose #undertale #undertale music

[dudeandduchess]

"I'm so in love with him/her, I don't know what to do" for Giyuu maybe pretty please with Kyo sprinkles on top. Because two emotionally constipated idiots would definitely flounder 😂

Here you go, Biz! Also, big yes to the Kyō sprinkles 😛🤤

***

Giyuu x F!S/O: Moonlit Confessions (Fluff, Modern AU, SFW Scenario)

Note: This will be a little self-indulgent. But I’ll leave the name spaces as (Y/n) and (K/w) for Kyō’s wife’s name.

“How am I even supposed to tell him that?” (Y/n)’s voice was loud with disbelief and a twinge of panic, knowing full well that a few people had already turned their heads to look right at her. Still, she couldn’t care less about what they thought— and even garnered even more stares when she looped an arm through her best friend’s own.

The materials of their kimonos clashed beautifully; a silky burgundy against an equally beautiful hue of blue— which (Y/n) had worn just to get the chance to earn a compliment from her lover.

It wasn’t that her lover— the usually stoic Water Hashira, Tomioka Giyuu— didn’t like her; but his lack of compliments only stemmed from his tendency to always get flustered when he was with her.

And to make things worse for their situation, (Y/n) pretty much simmered down to the same flustered and stuttering reaction whenever he was near. Especially when she caught a glimpse of those pretty blue eyes of his.

Their friends— the Flame Hashira, Kyōjurō, and his wife (K/w)— didn’t even know just how they managed to go on dates when they couldn’t even go without acting like lovesick teenagers in front of the other.

And that was how Giyuu and (Y/n) had found themselves walking with their respective confidantes, before they were set to meet for the festival. Albeit, it was Kyōjurō’s idea to invite Giyuu on a walk before they met up with their respective lovers.

On (Y/n)’s side, she was so busy panicking about her impending confession that she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. Not even (K/w) buying snacks for her had worked, as she only took a small bite before pushing it onto the other woman.

“I can’t just tell him that I love him. He might not return my feelings!”

At that, (K/w) shook her head, before leaning in and flicking her best friend’s forehead. “Kyōjurō tells me that Tomioka-san loves you a lot. And that Kyō saw him smiling when he overheard Kyō telling that story of when you two went out on a date with us.”

“It’s your husband, he could have been making that up to get a kiss from you.”

Instead of getting offended, however, (K/w) only shrugged before smiling right at (Y/n). “Kyōjurō was right when he said that Tomioka-san was going to ask you out for tea, after he met you at our wedding.”

“That was one time, (K/w)!”

The Flame Hashira’s wife merely quirked an eyebrow at that, before changing the topic. “So, where are you and Tomioka-san going later tonight? Seeing the sights? Eating at the stalls? Maybe… kissing behind the abandoned shrine?”

“Gods no. We aren’t you and your walking libido of a husband,” (Y/n) snarked back, which only served to make her snort at the new unsavory name that she could call the Flame Hashira. After all, she had earned the right to tease (bully) him after he had married her best friend. “We’re just going for a walk and then watching the fireworks, and then we’re going home.”

“How boring,” (K/w) teased good naturedly, before turning her gaze straight ahead and subtly making a beeline towards the head of blond and red hair that she saw. “Let’s go by that takoyaki stand, I have to get Kyōjurō some. He’ll be hungry later.”

“You love him too much.”

“Just like how you love Tomioka-san?”

“I don-… shut up.”

***

Meanwhile on Giyuu’s side of things: he was barely reigning in the urge to knock Rengoku out and make a run for it. He was fed up with consistently being badgered by the other man, especially when it concerned his relationship with (Y/n).

“Do you like her? Or do you love her? I’m asking for a friend.” The Flame Hashira had to know, or else his wife would be upset with him. And he didn’t want that, at all. Happy wife, happy life— that was his belief.

That and if he came back empty-handed, then she wouldn’t make that dessert she’d made that he really loved. He didn’t even know what it was, so he couldn’t very well ask Senjurō to make it.

So, pestering Giyuu it was.

“That’s private.” The Water Hashira answered flatly, before picking up his pace— only to groan audibly when Rengoku had easily managed to catch up to him.

“Just tell me, Tomioka! We’re practically best friends since (Y/n)-chan’s my wife’s best friend. Best friends in law!”

Giyuu didn’t know which pit of hell Rengoku had gotten that idea from, but he bit his tongue to keep himself from saying anything mean to his fellow Hashira. It hadn’t ended very well, what with the blond only getting more annoying.

“Tomioka, tell me!” Then came the worst thing Giyuu could think of: physical touch. Rengoku began poking his arm, with every chorus of ‘tell me’.

Even while he walked, the other Hashira kept up with his pace— even if he had already dashed ahead.

He didn’t even know where he was going anymore, just that he was extremely annoyed at his company. He could have been with (Y/n) already, but Rengoku had asked for his help on buying his wife a present.

Now that Giyuu thought about it, the most he had done earlier was look at the lavish pair of earrings that the Flame Hashira had dropped a serious amount of money on.

It was only then that he figured that he was being toyed with. And he was pissed. His time had been completely wasted— when he could have been with (Y/n) earlier.

“Tell me, Tomioka!” Kyōjurō piped out once more, before going to poke the other Hashira’s arm once more.

However, before the blond’s finger even made contact with Giyuu’s haori, his hand was immediately slapped away. “I’m in love with her! I’m so in love with her, and I don’t know what to do, Rengoku! Does that satisfy you!?”

Red-tinted irises widened a fraction of an inch for a second, before they darted over to a spot behind Giyuu. And the latter didn’t even need to look to know who was there, as Rengoku looked like that he was the cat that got the cream— a lovestruck cat at that.

“There’s my gorgeous wife! Come here and hug me, my love!” Kyōjurō had almost all but forgotten Giyuu in front of him, as he stepped around the other man so he could open his arms for his wife.

(K/w) didn’t fail him, catching on to what he wanted to happen, and dragging a reluctant (Y/n) closer to a speechless Giyuu. Not even digging her heels into the ground kept (Y/n) anchored in place— and she could only watch in wide-eyed horror with her heart pounding so hard in her chest, as Giyuu got closer and closer to her.

Until she was standing right in front of him, with (K/w) and Kyōjurō slowly inching away from them while entangled in their hug.

“We have to… uh… start kissing behind that shrine!” Came the Flame Hashira’s excuse for leaving, which had his wife slapping his arm before biting her bottom lip to keep herself from bursting out in laughter.

Both (Y/n) and Giyuu didn’t even know how much time had passed with them standing on a relatively unpopulated part of the path, not even having the courage to look up at each other and reveal just how red both of their cheeks were.

And it was so filled with a tense silence that even Giyuu couldn’t take it. He had faced countless demons before, yet none of those compared to confessing his love for the one person in his life whom had made him happy.

The one person whom had made him forget all of the painful things in his past, and erased all of his fears for the future.

(Y/n) was so special to him that he couldn’t even begin to describe how much his feelings amounted to; all that he knew was that she was everything he could ever want in life— and all he saw was him and her growing old together in the future.

He was sure that he wanted to be her everything, just as he was sure that she deserved more than a shy and borderline cowardly confession.

So, after taking a deep breath, he finally looked up at her without the commotion that the Rengokus brought with them; only to feel his heart leap up to his throat at how breathtakingly beautiful she looked in her kimono— which was the same shade as his eyes.

Giyuu couldn’t help but want to melt on the spot, yet he fought the stiffness in his legs and began to close the distance between them. Until he was standing right in front of her, with his hands gingerly reaching out and wrapping around her own.

And he was glad that he wasn’t the only one who was nervous, because he felt just how cold and shaky (Y/n)’s hands were.

Slowly, he began to caress her knuckles with the pads of his thumbs— all in an effort to get some warmth into those clammy hands of hers.

However, just when he thought that he had fully taken her ethereal beauty in, the moment she looked straight at him took his breath away; since those eyes of hers looked positively beautiful, especially with the way that the moonlight reflected off of them.

“I love you… anata.”

#tomioka giyuu x reader #giyuu tomioka x reader #tomioka x reader #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader #demon slayer x you #giyuu x reader #demon slayer imagines #demon slayer fanfic #kny imagines #kny fanfic

[anika-ann]

3+1 (Un)Wanted Mistletoe Encounters

Type: One-shot, Reader Insert               Word count: 4200

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary:  Kissing under the mistletoe is one of the most famous Christmas traditions; so obviously, it is not Christmas without it at the Tower.

Unfortunately for the occupants, you are not fond of the tradition – at all. 

...or are you?

Warnings: cliché trope, pushy Pietro, discussion of dub-con I guess, language, fluff

A/N: Idea born from this video where John Mulaney says: “If any decoration needs to be MeToo’ed…” and goes on.

Beatiful divider by firefly-graphics

1.

You were no Grinch.

In fact, you actually liked Christmas and the Holiday season, you enjoyed both giving and receiving and you appreciated when people found time to spend it together, whether in their own family circle or with their chosen one.

But. There was one significant ‘but’.

And with this being your first Christmas with the Avengers, Sam Wilson was about to learn about the said but first-hand, because that sweet kind-hearted dumbass with a sass streak walked right into it.

Quite literally.

December 23th, you woke up well-rested, got breakfast, wrapped several presents and were on your way to hunt down a lunch in the communal kitchen, when a voice stopped you in the doorway, where you nearly ran into Sam. Nearly.

“Ah-oh,” he hummed, a shit-eating grin spreading on his handsome face and you stopped dead in your tracks, frowning at the ominous sound.

“What?”

And then came the fateful words: “You’re standing under a mistletoe.”

You see, here was a thing; the tradition of hanging a mistletoe and meeting people under it by chance as an excuse to get a kiss from someone was… stupid. Downright idiotic. Pushing people into something they didn’t have a chance to back out from. Forced affection.

Yeah, that was not happening even if Sam was a real swell guy and you did find a newly hung mistletoe above your heads indeed as you briefly looked up to check if his words were true.

“Okay. And?”

His eyebrows rose in surprise, his tone turning slightly wavering.

“…And so am I?”

“And?” you continued, crossing your arms on your chest defensively, already preparing a rant that would hopefully spread like wildfire and ended this dumb tradition altogether. Or well, at least spread around the Tower so no one would ever try to corner you again.

“Really?” Sam deadpanned and you stared right back at him, your face probably displaying precisely how you felt; unimpressed.

“Yes, really,” you emphasized and pointed up at the offensive plant for a good measure. “This is a stupid concept, objectifying people, women especially. It’s about people being forced into showing affection they might not even feel. It’s bordering on a damn dub-con if not non-con.”

Sam blinked a few times, instinctively retreating as he felt you heating up. He raised his hands in a no-harm gesture to show he got your point.

But you were already on roll and you glimpsed Tony in the kitchen, so you thought that there was no harm in him hearing your speech too, just to make sure that the smug loveable bastard of a billionaire got the message as well.

“It’s like all those poor kids being asked why don’t you give your granny a hug before we go and a kiss to your granddad— well, it’s because I don’t want to and it’s my choice to give affection to someone! And now this thing, this is the tip of the iceberg, really, the last fucking drop- it needs to be Me Too’ed, I swear.”

You found yourself panting as you finished, your hands on your hips now – not that you realized you had put them there – and your belly hot and angry for some inexplicable reason; maybe it was the fact that it was Sam, amazing, friendly and understanding Sam Wilson, who had to go and point this stupid poisonous plant out for you; and have the audacity to ask for a kiss.

Dammit!

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he apologized sincerely, voice kind and without any hint of hurt or mockery. “It won’t happen again. I see that you might have a point in this.”

All the fight instantly left your body, replaced by warmth of friendship, mingling with a shiver of shame for your quick judgement and outburst. You sighed, easing your posture and offering and apologetic smile in return.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make a big deal of that-“

“No, it’s fine. Like I said, you’re kinda right.”

“Damn right I am,” you hummed, feeling the corners of your lips rise automatically as Sam chuckled and shook his head at your antics.

But hey – you were right. You were not sorry for that.

Still snickering to himself, Sam sidestepped you in the door and patted your shoulder.

As you continued your path as well, you would swear you heard Tony mutter under his breath that you were a Grinch.

Jerk.

2.

“Hey! Don’t I get a kiss?” Clint called out a complaint as you met both stepped into that damn doorway at the same time.

As he pointed up, all you could do was to sigh, close your eyes and count to ten.

It had only been like four hours maybe; perhaps the word hadn’t gotten to him yet that you were not a fan of making out with random people – even if they were family – just because it was Christmas; or as Tony had put it, that you were a Grinch.

Personally, you thought that his insult had been inaccurate; you had given it a thought. Maybe you were more of a Scrooge. Perhaps you should tell him next time you saw him, just to see his face; Tony did pride in his ability to come up with witty nicknames.

You almost spitted out Bah, humbug now, just because.

“No, you don’t,” you said flatly instead, causing Clint’s jaw to quite literally drop as he looked at you with indignation and horror in his eyes.

“But--- but- mistletoe!” he stuttered and you sighed, deciding to explain it to him too – patiently.

“Why should some stupid plant tell me when someone is worth my affection? Someone who allegedly deserved it by simply standing under the same plant as me, no less? Get. Out. Not happening.”

You winced a bit as you registered the snappy tone you used.

Well. Half of the task of explaining it to him patiently went right, you’d call that a success, you supposed.

The poor archer just blinked, staring at you dumbfounded and mildly hurt; as if you had just told him that Santa Claus was nothing but a trick. Phew, as if you were that heartless…

Just-- logic. In fact, you had given this tradition a generous amount of thought since your last encounter under it and you figured out where it came from, historical inaccuracy be damned.

“I mean, where did the idea even come from? I bet it was just because some dude saw another guy mouth-to-mouth a girl, who happened to eat some of this poisonous parasite, may I add, and she was dying, so he gave her rescue breaths before continuing CPR. And the dude thought, that’s a great idea! Let’s make this a habit, just without the poisoning! Yeah, no. You’re not getting a kiss, Clinton,” you finished, satisfied with yourself as you managed to sound calmer this time.

Also, you were kinda proud of yourself for coming up with this story; it seemed very likely.

“That’s, uhm… an interesting take on history,” Clint hummed, watching you with uncertainty and hesitance and your heart stumbled in your chest as you guessed he was about to say something… cheeky, and outraging, in his cute brotherly way. “I need a hug at least tho.”

There we go.

“Nice try.”

You smirked and sidestepped him to be on your way and almost bumped into Steve, quickly shooting him a smile and disappearing out of sight before a silly idea about him and the stupid plant could form in your head – that would be bad and highly inappropriate, as was your crush on him, not to even mention your feelings—bah -!

“What did you do to her?” you heard the sweet supersoldier ask, a hint of accusation in his voice. Your smile widened, heat rising to your cheeks. Always so chivalrous; your heart could fucking melt.

“I asked for a hug after she refused to give me a kiss under a mistletoe,” Clint ratted you out, still hurt and honestly confused.

You stopped in your tracks as you rounded a corner, chewing on your lip guiltily.

Poor Clint; perhaps you had gone too hard on him… he couldn’t have known. You had to be kinder about it next time – after all, you might have been with them for almost a year now and they made you feel like you fit despite being so-so late to the Avengers party, but all of you still had things to learn about each other.

“Ah, you haven’t heard from Sam. Sorry,” Steve’s voice reached your ear, a notch kinder than before, compassionate even.

Compassion; another quality of Steve’s that you loved-

Bah, HUMBUG, that is not that, the L word is a bit much, that is not what’s happening-

“Wait, you knew- oh… Yeah, a heads-up would be nice,” Clint grumbled and made a pregnant pause, the sign of another prefect line coming. You held your breath in anticipation. “So are you gonna give me a hug or should I just get coffee, aka the hug in a cup-“

You held back laugher and swallowed the fondness for the good-natured archer before you could rush back and give him the damn hug.

“Coffee’s always a safe choice,” Steve replied and you thought you heard a chuckle and a grunt, unable to supress a giggle as you jogged away before they could notice you were still within hearing range.

Clint’s following monologue faded away as you walked.

“Nobody likes me. Nobody. I’m gonna die alone, surrounded by people who are too emotionally constipated to give a man a damn hug…”

Yeah, maybe you should give him a hug next time you saw him… no mistletoe though.

3.

You truly believed that that would be the end of it; after all, a day had passed since the first incident, the incident that was left without a kiss, and you doubted anyone was out of the loop at this point.

That was stupid of you. Naïve even. You jinxed it.

You were just after light breakfast, ready to get a little work out in – complete with tacky remixes of Christmas songs prepared to cheer you up – when the supposedly fastest man in the Tower, and possibly the whole world, pretty much bumped into you.

And he had to bump into you just as you were walking through that fucking doorway with that fucking plant which you were supposed to put down right after the encounter with Sam, dammit.

But no, you didn’t want to ruin everyone else’s fun; in fact, Clint had taken it his personal mission to meet as many people as he could under the mistletoe to get a kiss… or a hug. Wanda hapilly shared affection with others, either kissing their cheek of hugging them. People were having fun.

So, obviously, you let it be, confident everyone knew better than to corner you.

No good deed ever went unpunished, especially in the Holiday season.

Pietro grinned as he spotted you, downright delighted, and spread his arms almost as if creating a cage around you, leaving very little room to escape.

You did not like that.

“A kiss for a guy who caught you under a mistletoe?” he hummed warmly with a sprinkle of cheek and despite his cheery demeanour, you couldn’t help yourself and rolled your eyes.

“In your dreams, Maximoff,” you huffed, trying to duck under his arm, only for him to move it so quickly it was only a blur to you.

Quick to move, slow to take a hint. Yep, that kind of behaviour had Pietro written all over it… Okay, now you were being mean, but he was being an ass, grinning wider and adding a wink to the mix, so it was only fair.

“How did you know? I thought it was just my sister who was telepathic?”

“Pietro, leave her alone,” Wanda spoke as if on cue, eyeing her brother with a frown from her spot behind the counter where she was trying to figure out a recipe for a special Christmas pastry from her old country.

A hint of a pout appeared on Pietro’s lips as he reciprocated Wanda’s gaze; unfortunately for you, he was still aware enough of you attempting to escape his cage, so far without using force; though you were inclined to violence should it be necessary.

“What?! It’s tradition! I thought Americans loved that!”

“Well, not all of us, so-“ you explained with a sigh, catching a glimpse of Steve as he now looked up from his spot on the couch where he had been nestled with a sketchbook for the past twenty minutes.

“I could kiss you before you even notice,” Pietro argued smugly, his expression earning a wolf-like edge as you glared back at him.

Well, it seemed your workout was just about to start, you thought, as you balled your hand into a fist, subtly testing the readiness of the muscles of your leg, prepared to kick the damn man-child to his shin or worse.

“She said no.”

Both your and Pietro’s heads snapped to Steve, who was watching the other man with intense displeasure, all complete with the mildly adorable wrinkle on his forehead – a sign of disappointment and irritation – and a voice that carried the gravity of a Captain’s order.

Which in this situation stirred something in your belly, warmth swelling in your chest as he rushed to your rescue; one not needed, but still appreciated. You didn’t react to Steve’s words aside from giving him a quick grateful smile and shooting Pietro a childish told-you-so look.

“She doesn’t have to do things just because it’s considered a tradition. Leave her be, Pietro,” Steve added, less snappy and simply requesting from the speedster to have a tiny bit of respect for your wishes.

Pietro was most definitely pouting now, but he dropped his arms and released you, still blocking the doorway.

“This is ridiculous,” Pietro muttered under his breath, only for you to hear and you gritted your teeth, irritation spiking again.

“You are being ridiculous. Now move or I swear I’ll slap you.”

“I’d like to see you try, Eagle.”

Oh, we’re doing nicknames now? He could use your title earned by being fast and occasionally deadly all he wanted, flattery would get him nowhere at this point.

“Wouldn’t even see it coming, Speedyboy,” you challenged, chin raised in defiance.

It was ironic, really, how much everyone seemed to insist on following this stupid tradition, even with you. At this point, it was practically everyone but Steve; everyone but the one person you’d be willing to kiss – mistletoe or not, though the plant would at least give you an excuse.

But nope, you just had to get stuck in the doorway with this moron instead.

“Ooookay, you two,” Natasha sing-sang, as she was approaching you from the corridor; you completely missed her arriving, that was how much Pietro irritated you. “Maximoff, move, you’re blocking the doorway. And if you corner her like this again, I’ll kill you in your sleep and you’ll never see that coming,” she promised, voice icily serious despite the twinkle in her eye.

You had no doubt she would deliver just what she promised.

Which was exactly why you leaned over to kiss her cheek, earning a brilliant smile from her and a light brush of her lips against your own cheek.

“Thanks, kotenok,” she hummed just as Pietro gaped and complained.

“That’s so unfair.”

You smirked at him, throwing the smugness he had treated you with right back at him as you went to walk away.

“I give affection to whoever I want and whenever I want. Let your super quick brain process that. Happy Holidays.”

You completely missed the slow smile that spread on Wanda’s face at one point of the whole exchange.

+1

You decided to stop walking through that damn doorway altogether – just in case.

But at the moment, no one was around, so you made an exception since you considered yourself safe. Though main part of the feeling of security was that you didn’t think there was anyone left of the Tower tenants (who didn’t pay rent at all, somehow) who wasn’t aware of your opinion on the dumb tradition. No one who would be stupid enough to try.

Yet, when you glimpsed a large figure about to walk through the doorway just as you were few feet from it, you halted in your steps, letting them pass first.

And then there was a gust of wind, a warning coming a second too late and a harsh push to your shoulder from behind.

“Running through!”

You, the newest addition to the Earth’s mightiest heroes, Eagle, known for her quick reactions and not losing her cool easily, only managed to yelp in fright as you were knocked over, unable to hold onto anything and falling straight to the ground.

Two strong hands caught you and pulled you back up before you could hit the floor and you gasped, head spinning from the swift movements-- only to blink your eyes open to meet the prettiest pair of eyes you had ever seen; determined, kind, compassionate, loveable. And so damn blue despite the drop of green in their irises.

Your heart was trying to beat its way out of your ribcage as Steve instinctively pressed his chest against yours, holding you close and secure, grasp firm but careful.

Your gaze couldn’t but wander all over his face as you found yourself in such close quarters with him, his own eyes and his lips – gosh, those lips – working as magnets, always alluring your gaze to linger.

“You okay?”

Mesmerized, you watched those lips to move, barely comprehending what he was asking. His voice was warm; honey sweet and rich in spice, delicious, causing your stomach to flip pleasantly, your heart stammer.

It might have taken you a while to stutter out a reply, but no one ever needed to know about that.

“Uhm… yeah. Thanks-- thanks to you… thank you.”

Steve graced you with a small but no less meaningful smile. “Of course.”

Torturously slowly – as if he didn’t want to let you go any more than you wanted him to – he helped you stand straight and let go of your arms.

The moment you lost his touch, you lost your sanity too. You must have.

Before you could change your mind – or to think anything through – you leaned back to him and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. And perhaps on instinct, you kinda aimed more for the corner of his mouth than the cheek.

He felt warm now too – the tips of his ears turned red in an instant and you, with horror, finally realized what you had done; and just how good it felt to finally show at least a little of what you had been trying to ignore and hide for so long.

Despite his apparent surprise and mild embarrassment, his smile widened a fraction, turning pleased.

“What was that for?” he asked lowly, gaze intense as he studied your face, a hint of a glow in his eyes, something brighter than hadn’t been there before. Hope, maybe?

You certainly hoped. Because you just made an ass of yourself, having acted without thought… and it never felt so good and so awkward at the same time.

Your brain had never been so quick and dumb to come up with a poor excuse either.

“We’re…. we’re under a mistletoe?” you offered reluctantly, your lips still burning after the brief contact with his, head once again nearly spinning due to the proximity – was it just the dizziness or was he leaning in closer?

“I thought you didn’t follow that tradition,” Steve hummed with a grin slowly spreading on his face and through the fog of lovesickness, it finally dawned to you.

You had done exactly what you scolded Sam, Clint and Pietro for – you just went and kissed Steve, no questions asked, no consideration of his possible discomfort.

God, you were such an idiot!

See, that’s why you have banned yourself for as much as imagining kissing Steve and meeting him under the mistletoe! Because when your brain went down that road, it stopped working altogether!

You swiftly retreated a few inches, horrified.

“I—I don’t. I mean. I-- I-I’m so sorry!” you blurted out, words spilling from your lips as the panic rose in your chest. And yet, there was warmth, a pleasant feeling coiling in your belly, breaths coming out short as Steve seemed to erase the distance you had created, his gaze studying you, landing on your mouth. “I shouldn’t have done that! What was I thinking—gosh, I didn’t want to make you-“

You stopped as Steve’s lips kept erasing the distance and ended up a breath from touching yours, tempting, his eyes shining bright with a simple unspoken question. You instinctively licked your lips, heart stumbling in your ribcage.  

“---uncomfortable. Yes, please-“

And then he was kissing you, a little smile playing on his lips as they danced with yours, sweet and soft, hand moving to your nape, thumb caressing the side crook of your neck, drawing a content sigh from you as your eyes fluttered shut, letting you sink into the kiss you had been craving for almost a year.

Your hands sought out his shoulders as he cradled your face, gentle and guiding so he could take more and all you wanted was to give it to him, give him everything he asked for and take it from him too.

Your toes definitely curled in the thick fluffy socks you wore when his fingers squeezed your nape briefly before he withdrew – as if he once again didn’t want to let go for something so boring as oxygen. You wholeheartedly agreed with that sentiment, dizzy from the blissful turn of events.

As you inhaled nevertheless, you were grateful that Steve stayed close enough for you to breathe in him, relieved and delighted smile on your face as you licked your lips, savouring the sensation.

When you met his gaze, you saw nothing but fondness; and your heart could melt.

Steve liked you too. Steve kissed you like he meant it. Now you could die a happy woman but you rather not. You’d rather kiss him again if he was willing.

“Still sorry I did it without asking first,” you whispered an apology even though you were not sorry at all since it led to this.

“It’s okay. I just hope it wasn’t just the tradition that pushed you into kissing back.”

You chuckled and then chewed on your lower lip when thinking of a propriate retort, not missing that his eyes followed the action. Oh, he definitely liked to back, okay. Why had you never kissed before, again?

“I only give affection to whoever I want, whenever I want,” you threw back at him, the words that had a whole new meaning in contrast to when being told to Pietro; not a turn-down, quite the opposite in fact.

And you leaned in, greedy for at least one more kiss, Steve just watched you with a smile, eyes flickering to your lips.

“That’s good to know.”

He didn’t sound like he complained at being at the receiving end of your affection whatsoever.

Maybe, mistletoe wasn’t so stupid after all…

Three rooms over, the red-haired witch was smiling widely as she, thanks to her mental powers, caught a glimpse of what was happening in the kitchen doorway.

“It worked,” she announced, blinking to fully return herself to the present. “Nice work this time, brat moy.”

Pietro scowled at Wanda and couldn’t but wonder about the plan she had orchestrated and asked him to execute.

“How did you know, sestra?”

Wanda just shrugged.

“I had my suspicions before. But when you ran into her the last time, I checked her mind to see just how uncomfortable you made her,” she explained, giving one more scolding glare for his inappropriate behaviour. But well, it led to this and he helped now, so… he was good. “She literally thought she wouldn’t mind being under the mistletoe with the Captain.”

“Lucky bastard,” Pietro muttered, expression only half-sour.

“Shush. Be happy for your teammates. You just flirt anyway.”

The speedster pouted, but didn’t protest; he in fact was happy for the two members of the extended family him and his sister had found. And he indeed was only flirting, enjoying your reactions, talking back and teasing. It was all good fun and he did wish you and the Captain well…

But.

“Well, yeah, but now I won’t be able to do that or to look at her twice. Not without Captain having my head,” he grumbled and Wanda nodded with a grin, not feeling all that bad for him.

It wasn’t like he had his heart broken – more like had his ego tickled; and he had been needing some of that for a while.

“That’s true. Looks like you gotta be faster with the next girl you get your eye on, brat.”

The speedster gasped, shocked at her audacity. “I’ll show you fast-!”

Wanda laughed as she used her powers to freeze him on spot to get a head start.

Now, the Holidays felt truly happy indeed.

S.R. Masterlist

Thank you for reading!

If this fic feels like it’s written differently, then I guess that’s fair… I tried to make the style more drabble-like and failed epically, because I just cannot write short and without too many feelings :D

Anyway.

Happy Holidays to you all! May you be given love and affection!

#fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #holiday fic #christmas fic #captain america x you #steve rogers imagine #captain america x reader #steve rogers #captain america #captain america imagine #steve rogers holiday fic #steve rogers christmas fic #mistletoe shenanigans #avengers #avengers christmas #captain america christmas #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america fanfic #captain america fanfiction #christmas #3+1 fic #3+1 mistletoe encounters #anika ann

[starry-sky-stuff]

Since I kept seeing all this stuff about the Wallflowers series by Lisa Kleypas and how those books defined the genre, I decided to give them a read. Now that I've read all four I'm going to rank them:

1) It Happened One Autumn (Book 2) - Lord Westcliffe is the classic stuffy, overly proper British aristocrat and Lillian Bowman is an American heiress who gives absolutely no shit for proper decorum. Naturally, the two start off on the wrong foot. They were both introduced in the first book (Westcliffe is best friends with Simon Hunt), and I was immediately behind their relationship. I love when couples start off with an antagonistic relationship. The reason that this book is at the top is how much I enjoyed the relationship. I found their chemistry and attraction believable, and more importantly they promoted positive character growth in each other. Westcliffe was more affected by Lillian than vice versa, but male leads often tend to have more character growth in historical romance novels thought it's always instigated by the female lead. By the end, I really bought into their relationship and could genuinely believe they're in love and would be happily married (it sounds like a low bar but unfortunately romance novels rarely make me believe that). Westcliffe's also my favourite male lead in the series. He may not be the most charismatic, that would be Sebastian, but he's just a genuinely good, upstanding guy. He's also very emotionally reserved, but totally overcome by his attraction to and love for Lillian, which I love. Lillian's also so much fun, very brash and no-nonsense but not without her own flaws. The relationship between them is very much one of equals and its clear that they respect each other but also aren't afraid to call the other on their bullshit.

2) Devil in Winter (Book 3) - Sebastian St Vincent was the villain of Book 2. And not a minor villain either, he literally kidnapped Lillian, who was also his best friend's fiancee, because he needed to marry an heiress to save himself from financial ruin. Evie needs to escape her abusive family, who are trying to force her into a marriage, and so she proposes a marriage of convenience to Sebastian. I went into to this novel thinking I would despise him because he did an objectively awful thing (and to give the author credit she doesn't deny that it was awful and Lillian does not forgive him for it). I also didn't expect to enjoy Evie as much as I did, she was a bit bland in the previous two books, overshadowed by the stronger personalities. But both of their characters really shone through. Evie had such positive character growth, learning to stand her ground and growing in confidence. Sebastian is the classic charming rake, an archetype which is a personal favourite of mine and I can definitely see how much he influenced the male leads that followed. Evie and Sebastian had great chemistry and wonderful banter, which is a must for me. Sebastian being madly in love with Evie but totally in denial about it was hilarious. Boy literally took a bullet for her and even as he's bleeding out he still claims it doesn't mean anything. The 3 month celibacy promise Evie extracts from him, however, is an under-utilised plot, imo, considering Evie throws it out the window in less than a month. But, I suppose he did get shot for her and he is fully dedicated to proving he's capable of being faithful to her.

3) Secrets of a Summer Night (Book 1) - Annabelle is very beautiful but has no dowry and her gentry family is on the verge of financial ruin. Simon Hunt is a self-made man, the son of a butcher who's risen to become incredibly wealthy. Basically, Simon's wanted Annabelle for years but she has no interest in him at first, especially after he makes it clear he wants her as his mistress, although she can't deny that she finds him super hot. Obviously, he changes his mind and after they get caught in a compromising position they marry. Annabelle's probably the weakest of the female leads for me. She does have an arc of addressing her prejudices. She starts off determined to marry a titled man and she later realises that she only really wanted that life because it was what she'd been told to want. The arc was good, I just think it could've been executed a bit better. Simon was very charming and I loved his dry humour. Also emotionally constipated and very overcome by the extent of his love for his wife. All of these books have a bit of an anti-aristocratic bent to them, but this one's perhaps the most obvious and I do enjoy that class commentary. Simon is barely tolerated by the aristocracy, and a far few of the aristocratic men reject Annabelle as a bride but are chomping at the bits to take advantage of her family's financial circumstances to make her their mistress.

4) Scandal in Spring (Book 4) - Daisy Bowman, Lillian's younger sister, has been unable to find a titled husband so her father demands she marry his protege, Matthew Swift who, it turns out, has been in love with her for years. Least problematic but also the most boring. The chemistry between the leads was lacking and I couldn't figure out a reason why they worked. I was not at all convinced that they were in love by the end. The pacing was also off. The complication came really late and was resolved very easily, and that really undercut any tension. I was expecting Daisy to be at least annoyed that Matthew proposed without confessing his secret, but she literally had no problem with it. Matthew is the blandest of the male leads, and there isn't any real reason for why Daisy starts off hating him, unlike with Westcliffe and Lillian who we saw have genuine antagonistic interactions. Also, I can't figure out why Matthew was so in love with Daisy when she barely interacted with him and actively avoided him. I just can't buy into love like that when it's partly based on a fantasy version of a person.

All of these books were quite enjoyable, although perhaps a bit dated considering they were written in the mid 2000s. The writing was really good and Kleypas created very distinctive heroes and heroines with largely distinctive plots (she does reuse the couple encountering a life-threatening situation that one saves the other from). The friendship between the four heroines was strong, well-executed, and incorporated very well into the series. I can definitely see how this series was a seminal series for the romance genre, considering how many series centred on a group of female friends followed.

I also really liked how Kleypas veered on the showing side instead of the telling side when it came to the characters emotional states, particularly regarding their past traumas. Often, romance novels feel the need to lay out the characters trauma and pinpoint its affect on their actions, such that I feel like I'm reading a psychological profile written by their therapist. Kleypas trusts her audience to make the connection. For example, Westcliffe had emotionally abusive parents who punished him for showing emotions, and he's emotionally reserved and struggles to express his emotions and just deal with them in general. The connection is never explicitly made between the two but it's obvious that his actions are affected by his past trauma.

#the wallflowers series #lisa kleypas #romance tag #historical romance #I'm a bit more forgiving of the kidnapping plot since these books came out 15 yrs ago #if it was more recent I think I would've been harsher

[lady-literature]

A Miraculous DC Crossover

ALL RIGHT!!

I’ve been sucked into this unholy sub-fandom and I have thoughts okay? lots of them. Almost none are coherent and I don’t care. I have no plotline to write a fic but by the gods do I need to get out all my ideas.

Behold:

the Salttm

Lila, obviously. But she’s a petty nuisance at best, and an annoyingly competent akuma to fight at worst. manipulative, but not really dangerous ya feel?

Alya. which like, home girl probably doesn’t deserve but like,,, the drama??

CHLOE REDEMPTION YOU COWARDS

She and Marinette become surprisingly good friends (because I love that for both of them and you can pry it from me cold, dead hands)

Nettie-bug and Queenie

They pick on Adrien together

Mari’s friends Protection Squad That Don’t Take No Shit

Adrien

Chloe

NINO BITCH HE DESERVES MORE LOVE TBH

Alix?? Probably

Luka obvi

Felix (PV)?? Or does Marinette have enough emotionally constipated boys in her life?

(Answer: no. no she does not.)

Nath? He be a good fox tbh. creative and sneaky boi

Kagami!!! I love her

They’re all heroes because I say so.

Felix (Sparrow) is an honorary member even though he doesn’t have a miraculous

He handles PR and other background things along with Chloe

Joined up a few years back when Parisians were getting a bit too critical of the heroes

No Hawkmoth b/c fuck that guy

He existed, just not anymore. Bitch got yeeted

There’s other villains in town now. After Hawkmoth’s defeat other metas/supervillains looked at Paris and was just like, ‘free real estate?”

So now the Miraculous Team are Paris’ Actual Full-Time Hero TeamTM… yay.

Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Abielle (or like, Wasp/Yellow Jacket idk Chloe changes her name because ~identity stuff~) are the core three team. like, the wonder woman/batman/superman trio of the MTeam.

Nath is called Reynard Ambre b/c I love him

The public knows he exists but he’s never seen in battle and no pictures exist.

but there are plenty of instances where Paris knows he out mucking around because those akuma battles always get really weird.

Marinette be the guardian?

Guardian in training

Along with all the other holders b/c jesus. Give the girl a break.

Yeah. I like that Idea. All current holders are training to be guardians as well, but Mari’s going to step up as Guardian Supreme when Fu steps down.

Hero fashion!!!

The Miraculous Team is all decked out in their own merch like 24/7

Rarely is it thier own hero persona tho

Not because of like,,,, secrecy or anything. Just because they’re all nerds who love each other

Marinette is the lead producer of Miraculous Merchandise. It’s like,,, her BrandTM It was completely unintentional too

(Adrien and Chloe financially support her work tho. She designs, makes a prototype, and has her two blondes get others to replicate it)

Half of Paris is wearing her without knowing it

(Go MDC! get it girl!)

She totally makes Gotham inspired outfits because what else would she do????

Don’t get her wrong, most of Gotham’s fashion sense royally pisses her off but it’s fun and hey, supporting her fellow heroes ya know?

She wears a Robin hoodie after being officially acquainted with both Damian and Robin (separately of course)

Damian chokes on something, probably his own tongue.

It confuses Nettie. But then she thinks maybe he’s a fan too? She offers to make one for him but he steadfastly refuses much to his brothers’ amusement.

Might make a robin themed dress?? If so, she crosses paths with Robin when she does, thoroughly embarrassing her and almost sending poor Dami into a crisis.

Rogues Gallery

She makes a lot of designs off the rouges gallery because like, supporting people trying to get better??? also they’re some of the few who’s aesthetic aint shit?

She can’t make all of them because she ran out of time, so the rest get posited up on her Instagram and MDC blog (that’s run by Tikki mostly. She’s a great secretary and gets bored in Mari’s purse all the time)

Everyone is very flattered

Harley, if she ever finds it, immediately commission all pieces and wears them around Gotham don’t @ me

Daminette obvi

Marinette meets him and is just like ‘wow, you’re horrible. I want five’

Marinette, in the group chat later: so I met Kagami and Felix’s love child today

Kagami and Felix, seconds apart: I would never stoop so low

immediately after: Hey what the fuck? Rude

Nino: Nettie, dearest, sunshine, light of our collective lives and reason I breathe, what the fuck

Adrien: Kagami, my love, how could you? the Betrayal

Chloe: ew

Luka: Send pics or it didn’t happen

Nath: [insert the ‘right in front of my salad?’ meme]

Whenever they cross paths as Robin and Mari, he’ll just like,,, appear from nowhere hanging upside down spiderman style. Mari finds it endearing but she also wants him to stop scaring the shit out of her

Nicknames, because I have an unhealthy obsession with them, alright?

Misc Mari names: Bug, Bugaboo, Buginette, Madame President/Colonel (when the Team’s being cheeky), Princess, Marigold, Nettie (by like, Nino and Alix)

Jason calls her Pixie-pop

The bird boys call her Nightingale/Mockingbird in like, honor of her being a kickass civillian

Mari refers to them as ‘the flock’ (and bird-brains after getting to know them better)

Damian calls her: Starling, Habibti, ya qamar(my moon), malaki (angel), ya wardati(my flower) (b/c like, angel’s cute an all but I just think Damian’s way more dramatic than that tbh. he’d put thought into his nicknames)

Mari calls Damian: mon soleil (my sunshine) (because symmetry and also Mari thinks she’d hilarious), Birdie, petit oiseau/oisillon

I like the idea of Jagged being a native Gothamite tbh

it’s just so fun honestly???

He’s probably the reason the MTeam are in Gotham in the first place? maybe? anyway, the class is there, right? right. 

Kagami, Luka and Felix are all holding the fort down in Paris. Ain't no akumas but sometimes they need backup so when certain heroes need to disappear, Nath has Trixx set up an illusion of whichever one so they can slip away with the horse miraculous.

Mari’s the one who has to leave the most because she’s still Paris’ damage control, so like,,,,, ya know.

Mari doesn’t get left behind, at least not on the first day b/c come on people! She has plenty of friends in class watching out for her and a semi-competent teacher who does care even if she’s non-confrontational to a fault.

She does eventually become separated from the group. Half because of Lila and half because she’s always fucking late and got distracted.

She actually runs into one of the civilian batfam in the first place because the class was allowed an hour or so to wander around the shopping district or whatever to explore/buy things/get food. They just needed to return to the meetup spot at a certain time but Mari is like ten minutes away when it’s five minutes to the meetup

So she’s just… fucking booking it and completely takes out this trained vigilante without trying to.

Mari, as she’s groaning on the ground, tangled around a boy: By Kwamii, I thought my luck was supposed to be good Tikki.

That or like, the subway doors close before she can get on them and the rest of the class ends up ahead of her leaving her to get caught up on some bullshit in the next train or smth.

Oh, like. Of course it’s her train that gets held hostage. Wonderful.

(Later, Mari will rant at Tikki about her luck. A common conversation between the two tbh.)

This could be where she officially meets the Batfam as the Batfam. Or, like. A couple of em, at least.

Marinette getting serial adopted by the whole goddamn batfamily because i will die for this trope tbh i dont even care

The Robins nickname her Nightingale before they realize she’s Ladybug

They still call her that after but it’s not with the intention of making it her hero name anymore

Her and Alfred are def bros you don’t understand

Actually, Gina and Alfred are old friends. Mari totally knows Alfie before the bat fam and calls him Poppy/Pépé

which floors the batfam because what? Since when does that happen???

Alfred and Mari never, like, actually met in person before, but video chats exist and Gina def talks about the two to each other so it’s like they may as well know each other.

I also like the idea of Alfred being a former holder, probably the peacock. I would adore that

Just,,,, so many fun hero shenanigans

Yeah sure. The batfam are super detectives and have a history of figuring out people’s identities in no time at all. Whatever. Where’s the drama in that though? The showmanship?

Fuck canon, the Miraculous all have glamours because magic bitch and it plays fucking hell on the Batfam and all their shit

Every single Batfam member is simultaneously pulling their hair out because they don’t know who these heroes are???? Why can they figure them out?? Confusion???????

Miraculous team is just…. Straight up laughing at them. The poor dears.

That one gag where it’s a well-known secret that Mari has connections to every Parisian hero and is basically their own personal catering service/comfort place.

Also, it’s the worst kept secret in Paris that Mari is Multimouse

None of the MTeam have confirmed that rumour but they also don’t deny it.

they actually started the rumour. If all of Paris thinks Mari’s the mouse, a temporary hero, no one’s going to think she’s Ladybug/or that she’s an easy target to go after

chloe actually came up with that one

Mari meeting all of Damian’s ‘associates’ (ie pets)

She adores all of them and they her.

Especially GOLIATH, why isn’t he talked about more honestly???? He’s GREAT

She meets Goliath as Ladybug and Robin is just… so done with him??? You are supposed to be a fearsome beast and a professional why are you rolling over and expoSING YOUR STOMACH??? Meanwhile, Ladybug is just: Awww! Who’s a good boy? Who’s the best boy? You are! Look at how handsome you are! Cute widdle baby-

Miraculous Team hanging on the roof of their hotel kinda chilling

Maybe having a debate about doing some free-running/parkour?

Also maybe about whether or not they should be heroes while in Gotham

MT being like, why can’t we go and stop an armed robbery? we can help!

“Gotham already has very active heroes-”

“Vigilantes!”

“-whatever. I don’t want us stepping on any toes. This isn’t our terf and Batman’s known for being strict about Metas rolling around here.”

“We aren’t Metas though.”

“I don’t think he’ll enjoy splitting that particular hair, Nino. Just- not unless lives are at stake, okay? Emergencies only.”

“Yes, Colonel Ladybug.”

This debate most def gets crashed by batfam and confusion ensues upon both sides

batfam didn’t hear anything, they’re just really confused about these french kids hanging out on a roof in Gotham

Just.... yes. all of that. I have like, more but those are not organized or even remotely coherent. here you go! I might write for this but I already have other fics rn so... it wouldn’t be for a while. and as I said, I have no plot.

take this though, i guess. *throws confetti*

#miraculous ladybug #batfam #my typewriter #mlb x dc #mlb #ml fic #miraculous team #marinette dupen chang #adrien #maribat #daminette #maridami #headcanons #chloe #alya salt #lila salt #but like #barely #i really couldn't care less about them #tbh

[wokestraightpuffy]

Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡

YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p

as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D

ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)

* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3

* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol

* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing

* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment

* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable

* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself

* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER?  the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3

* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D

* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.

HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd

* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before

* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics 

* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever. 

* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO) 

* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3

 * she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm

* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3

* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D

* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc

* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot. 

* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj

* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask

* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns

i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U

if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj

#captain puffy #tea speaks #god this is so long the brainrot is concerning ANYWAY #clownon

[fortysevenswrites]

SethKate for the ship questionnaire!

So...I got a little wordy on this one. Under the cut!

How did they first meet?

Well, Kate almost ran Seth over her family's RV, if we want to be technical, where she called him, "just some weirdo", not knowing that she's going to one day become...his second wife! (I will never be able to stop myself from referencing we don’t make the future, we just know it). But actual real meeting was when Richie dragged her back from the Dew Drop Inn pool at gunpoint and found Seth in the hotel room with her dad and brother.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

So Kate had a moment of "oh shit I just had a sexual awakening and I don't know what to do" when Seth punched out the doorman for being a creep (which, also, she had another one of those when Kisa had Richie drink tequila off her foot, so like, it was a VERY long day for Kate and she didn't really have time to explore any of THAT, what with the whole, vampire of it all) and Seth just had NO clue why he was so drawn to Kate during the Longest and Worst Night Of Their Lives TM.

All the same, I think Seth felt more, real, "oh shit, Kate is my forever PERSON" feelings first, during the Mexican Honeymoon and it SCARED THE FUCK OUT OF HIM, because she was taking to criminal life like a duck to water and was like, the most perfect partner he could imagine outside his brother, which then sent his brain on a tailspin because Richie was supposed to be his only ever perfect partner. Which was a big part of why he thought it was right to send her away for her safety in 2x02.

And while Kate definitely had feelings at the time, more of her feelings developed after she died and was fighting off Amaru in her body, and she saw Seth's soul when Amaru tried to kill him, and then saw all the efforts he was making to save her after he found out she was alive.

You! Made! Them! Into! Heroes!

Like, that's when she KNEW she was totally and completely done for.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Hahahaha SO MUCH. Like I said in the last answer, Seth liked Kate so much it scared him enough that he thought the best option was just to send her away for her safety (forgetting that she's so fucking stubborn and is basically the human form of the "fight me" emoji--which, was probably because of the heroin fucking up his what little complex reasoning skills he has.)

And Kate definitely resisted any feelings back in Mexico because of the heroin and she was NOT going to ever commit herself to a junkie.

Who initiated their feelings first?

SETH GECKO JUST WANTS TO HOLD KATE FULLER'S HAND AND I THINK THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

(yes, I'm referring to 3x04)

It was Seth with his actions throughout season 3, especially once he confirmed that she was actually still alive in 3x04. But it was Kate who said the words first and hit him with the metaphorical 2x4 before she walked through the gate in 3x10.

Who said “I love you” first?

Like I said, it was Kate in 3x10 before she walked into the gate. I also think it's Kate, AGAIN, post-canon, because Seth loves Kate so much he doesn't have sense, but also has a martyr complex a mile wide and is too scared to make a move because...did she mean in general? was she just talking to Scott? did she mean like love in the romantic sense or platonic???? why couldn't she be more clear it's not like we were facing the end of the world or anything.

And Kate had to be like "yes I actually love you, you donut"

Who gets jealous easily?

While Kate may have some insecurities about Seth's history and the women he's been with in the past, Seth really doesn't like other men who are closer to Kate's age to talk to her, especially at Jed's. He's not a caveman about it, but there are times where he'll get a little huffy about it until Kate sets him straight. It's not something that happens often, and it helps that Kate doesn't look like she was just recently a teenager thanks to the red hair.

Who is more protective?

Seth is SO protective. SO protective. A lot of it is because of what Kate's gone through and Seth really wants to shield her from having to deal with anything even remotely like what she went through over those two years. But at the same time? NO ONE fucks with her boys and gets away with it. Kate can be pretty vicious when she wants to be. Do no harm, but take no shit. And Seth LOVES it.

Who remembers the little things?

Seth feels like he can't afford to forget anything because of everything that happened to them since they met. While they both remember like, all the things, Seth is the ones who brings it up the most, like off-hand comments that Kate made in Mexico about things she likes or dislikes, and it always throws her when he remembers things that she didn't expect him to remember.

Who talks about their feelings more?

Kate is the one who instigates the conversations because Seth can kind of be emotionally constipated. He always feels like he feels WAY more than she does and doesn't want to overwhelm her, and Kate's just like, "shut the fuck up, I'm so stupid about you its almost embarrassing".

Who uses the cheesier pickup lines?

Seth, 1000000%, because he loves him some old movies and can't help but quote them. And then he dies a little on the inside when Kate doesn't understand that reference. But she likes the pickup lines all the same.

(Richie, on the other hand, is disgusted by them both.)

What does a first date look like for them?

Because of, you know, everything, they don't really do a traditional first date. They just go from not together (because she was dead, and then possessed) to extremely together, very quickly. The first time they go on a traditional date is probably one night on a trip they take to Galveston some months after season 3. Seth's like, oh shit, we haven't actually gone on a DATE, and Kate's like, whatever you want to do sounds nice (partly because she doesn't want him to feel obligated to do traditional relationship things since from what she knows about him, he's never been about that life), but Seth pulls out all the stops (really nice restaurant out by the beach, brings her flowers, etc) and it's awkward for all of five minutes because they feel like they should be doing traditional early-relationship date things, until they remember everything they've gone through together and Kate makes some comment about Richie which reminds Seth of a funny story about them and one of their early heists and suddenly it's all back to normal.

What do they like to do together?

Crime. They both saw the potential of what they could be as partners with the mercado heist, but of course didn't have time to think about it all what with everything that happened after, but when Seth let himself accept Kate as a partner, it opened up Los Tres Geckos to a hell of a lot more successful and lucrative crimes to pull off. Kate's REALLY fucking good at crime, and Seth loves it.

(Richie, on the other hand, is kind of disgusted by how much Seth loves how good at crime Kate is)

Which one gets angry the most, leaving the other to calm them down?

Kate is definitely the one who tends to be more even-keeled, especially with her "violence is not the answer" upbringing. She knows better than to let Seth get lost in his own head for too long, and with them being together Seth gets a lot better at handling both his anger and his anxiety.

Do they like PDA?

Seth is much more comfortable with it than Kate is. Kate is just really not a fan of how their culebra family and staff have heightened senses and like ALWAYS KNOW thanks to pheromones, so she tries to be as even-keeled as possible and PDA-free around them. Seth doesn't always let her get away with it.

(This may or may not play into the events of House Hunters: Culebra Properties Edition....just saying.)

What are their big spoon / little spoon arrangements?

More often than not, Kate is the big spoon, but it also depends on who's having the worst nightmares and when. Kate just tends to sprawl, and most of that sprawling ends up being on top of Seth.

Does one like the cuddle more than the other?

Seth Gecko is a WORLD CHAMPION CUDDLER. World. Freaking. Champion. Kate is a little surprised by it, but she's super into it. They're pretty much always touching in one way, shape, or form when they're around each other.

Who hogs the blankets?

I don't think either, so much as Seth runs so warm at night that he tends to kick the blankets off both of them and he uses his both heat to keep Kate warm at night.

Who’s more likely to initiate sex?

Seth, 10000%. Kate's always into it, because Seth is DAMN good at what he does, but he tends to initiate more.

Who’s the kinkiest?

Kate is 10000000% not aware of her kinks because of her upbringing, but she finds she's pretty much into whatever Seth suggests. It's all pretty vanilla, but there are some positions that Kate never would have thought of and she's here for it.

Who is the top and bottom in their sex life? Are they interchangeable?

Seth is usually the one who takes control of things, but the times where Kate's in charge, well, are some of the best sex that Seth has ever had.

Who likes giving and who likes receiving oral?

Definitely both. Seth does it more because he doesn't like to let Kate, and also prefers to finish inside her, but Kate is also very good at what she does, on those times.

Can they last more than one round?

Oh definitely. Y'all, despite the fact that Seth started going gray in his late 20s, Seth is NOT that old. He can keep up.

Which one is a morning person?

Kate is slightly more of a morning person compared to Seth, who is absolutely NOT, but considering their lifestyle is mostly nocturnal, but tend to stay up pretty late.

Do either of them like to cook?

Seth knows how to cook fast food-type food from his time at Big Kahuna, and Kate likes to bake more than she likes to cook. But Kate does know how too cook thanks to her upbringing in Bethel and "traditional woman things". They'll split the difference for breakfast, but most often lunches and dinner are either brought in or eaten at Jed's.

If they get married, who proposes first?

This is one of the times in Kate's life where she is pretty traditional, and lets Seth do the proposing. It's also a lot more of a traditional proposal than she expected, with Seth setting up a fuckton of candles on the balcony of their beach house in Galveston and surprising here with takeout from her favorite restaurant and getting down on one knee before dessert.

What kind of wedding do they have?

It's small, and not technically legal since they're all technically dead. Richie officiates, Scott shows up with his culebra girlfriend, and Kisa comes with a very nice gift that Seth is kind of a dick about accepting from her, because they're very much those antagonistic type of friends and he feels awkward about any sincerity from her and being sincere in return. He's also not comfortable with how much dancing Richie and Kisa do together at their small reception, which Kate thinks is hilarious.

Does anyone object to their relationship?

Freddie isn't a fan, but he doesn't get a vote. Scott doesn't like Seth because of how their families first came together (kidnapping is kind of a bad first impression, I guess), but grows to accept their relationship especially after all the efforts Seth took to get Kate back and how Seth did ultimately save Kate's life while Scott was busy freaking out in the church.

Do they have any kids?

Their lifestyle isn't conductive for children (read: crime is illegal), and also Seth is terrified by the idea of treating any potential children like his dad did, or fucking them up in some way. Along with her fears of potentially going through what her mother suffered before she died, Kate is also scared of passing on any potential leftovers from Amaru. They just mutually decide to pass on that.

They do end up taking in the newly turned culebra teenagers that come their way, because Kate has some experience with encountering culebras at a young age, and Scott is always available for consults as an eternal 16-year-old. They stay at Jed's for a while to acclimate before moving on. It ends up being a handful every year, and Kate always keeps track of them and stays in touch. It's as close to motherhood as it gets for her, and she loves it.

Do they have any pets?

One day, Seth finds an injured cat in their backyard, and just like that, they have a cat. Once she recovers, she becomes the queen of the house, and she loves cuddling with them both on the couch in the evenings.

#asked and answered #ship questionnaire

[caffiine]

A BRIEF PAUSE

From my regularly scheduled content. I’ve got some shit to say, y’all (forewarning for spicy language and spoilers)

I thought about making this post on my fandom subblog but this show and this relationship have been TOO important to me for the past 8 years to not give it its proper place in my life. strap in bc im not sure how long this mf is about to be.

When i started this DUMB show at age 19 tortured soul “empath” dark academia me thought sam winchester was going to be my favourite character. and don’t @ me, i love sam now in his own right (and we deserve some SAILEEN PEOPLE). but after literally less than 5 episodes i KNEW dean’s character and his arc were going to be amazing and beautiful and he immediately became my favourite brother. The nuances of his character i.e. his shell vs his true self were so evident to me even in the first couple seasons. in my humble opinion, he had the most growth of the two brothers.

They all deserve to be happy, but for whatever FUCKING reason dean has the HARDEST TIME OF ANYONE being happy in this show. I know it’s his character. I know it was written that way. But FFS.  I kept wondering when they were going to wrap up his emotional arc and stop torturing the poor dude.

then in season 4 they introduced castiel and 1) I thought the new concept of angels as assholes was super cool and 2) I hardcore SIMPED over misha collins (still do). I watched benignly as cas and dean began to form this relationship that seemed pretty special. I started watching the show when it was in its eighth season and I binged the shit out of it for two weeks until I was caught up. By the time I was caught up I was CERTAIN there were some feelings between them and I LOVED it. I am bisexual and I was ECSTATIC for a potential queer relationship between two masculine-portrayed dudes. I went on tumblr to express my newfound theory, only to find out that this was a real THING. “Destiel” was already an idea that had absolutely and intensely BLOSSOMED in the fandom  for several seasons already. So many others saw what I saw and saw the potential of emotionally tortured/constipated “daddy’s blunt instrument” dean and the unfeeling daddy’s boy cas “crack in his chassis” Winchester being allowed to be happy together. I felt validated and hopeful. For a while.

Then it was season after season of hopefulness for them to be finally happy with each other while still fighting the ills of their world with sam and the other new members of their family that were added along the way, only to constantly have that hope seemingly teased away at the end every single time. By season 11 and the introduction of amara (not bashing, eventually loved her character and her development too) I gave up. I lost hope. I stopped watching the show. I didn’t want to keep watching my two favourite characters continuously abused by the story they were thrown into.

I know not everyone likes destiel, not everyone thought it was real. That’s chill, idc. Stories are so often meant to be (and sometimes inadvertently) left up to interpretation by the person experiencing and consuming them. It’s what’s so amazing about books and shows and movies that are able to make us feel so intensely about them and their characters. And I felt SO strongly about dean and cas. It was honestly really upsetting to me, the way the show was going with their relationship.

A while later season 13 had been going on and I started seeing some things pop up on my dash. Hopeful things. I did a bit of research and accidentally saw THE SCENE from season 12 and I couldn’t help myself. I restarted it. I watched the whole thing from the beginning again AND introduced it to my boyfriend I think partially as a way to ensure I wasn’t imagining shit (it took him awhile and a lot of me internally screaming during many scenes but by season 9 he was like “uh are they in gay love”). Fast forward to me finally catching up as season 14 was starting. I was still hopeful, somehow. And it happened AGAIN. Season 14 and the beginnings of 15 made me so sad. I HATED what they did with their relationship. I HATED the way it ended. I HATED the way dean treated cas and everyone around him. It felt like the show was taking his whole character arc back to day 1. I didn’t understand. I kept watching for a couple episodes after the big argument and cas left but the luster was gone and eventually I just stopped.

I love this show. It has meant so much to me as a story. So many of the characters are/were very dear to me. I know it’s a running joke with this show about character deaths and homophobia but the strength of the bond I felt was between cas and dean gave me a lot of hope. But it wasn’t enough. I felt betrayed one too many times. And for those of you who kept watching, for whatever reason, I don’t hold it against you. It’s still a beautiful and interesting story without cas and dean’s relationship. But I just personally couldn’t do it anymore.

I hadn’t planned on watching the rest of season 15 when it came back after pandemic hiatus, at least not for awhile. So imagine my FUCKING surprise when I was doom scrolling through twitter during election week on Thursday and I see supernatural trending right along with election shit.

What.

I couldn’t stop myself, I looked and literally SCREAMED and made my boyfriend spill his wine all over our couch. I didn’t know exactly what happened as I hadn’t seen the episode but APPARENTLY all my emotions and feelings had been at least partially vindicated. So I BOUGHT season 15 so I could finish watching where I had left off. I watched 8 episodes in less than 24hrs (don’t judge me there’s a quarantine) and I LIKED them. And it might’ve been bc I knew what was about to happen in 15 x18 but I really felt like the show was getting STRONGER as it neared its finish.

I was so excited for 15x19. I read so many posts from fellow fans, destiel and antis alike. There really weren’t a lot of bad emotions running around. Everyone seemed hopeful and excited like me.

I probably don’t need to go over 15x19 emotions but im going to anyway. I was disappointed. I was confused. I was angry. we are in season 15. The last season ever for this show that has had a HUGE following of fans who have loved it, sometimes unconditionally, sometimes even though it wasn’t the best (and sometimes less than good). A season and show that had just announced YES. CAS LOVES DEAN. ITS REAL. And I shouldn’t have to go over the nuances of why we would expect more after this, with two episodes to go before the show is done forever.

But I will bc im mad af.

Like I said in the beginning. Dean’s character arc has been incredible. His emotional growth – as subtle as it might’ve seemed – has been amazing. And dean has always been an emotional, loving person. he just felt like he wasn’t because the world made him feel that way. And that’s sad, y’all. Dean deserves to realize he DESERVES happiness. And in 15x18, we were finally heading basically directly there. With destiel, yes, but even if you’re anti, what cas said to dean about who he is and why he loves him obviously struck a fucking chord with dean. It obviously changed the way he viewed himself (RE: “that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are”).

But for WHATEVER reason that’s ALL we got in 15x19. One fucking SENTENCE about dean realizing maybe he’s not just built to kill people. And then jack leaves without a single mention of Eileen or cas or Charlie or literally anyone they ever cared about and dean rode off into the sunset alone with his brother while we watched a fucking FIVE MINUTE MONTAGE that made me want to hurl my own body into the sun they were driving toward. And cas is STILL DEAD.

BUT THERE’S STILL ONE EPISODE LEFT AND FUCK ME IF I HAVENT BEEN PAINTING ON MY CLOWN MAKEUP ALL WEEK. SO WHAT DO I WANT????

ONE: DEAN DESERVES HAPPINESS. REAL HAPPINESS. What the FUCK supernatural??? Wasn’t this the whole point of his arc??? And don’t get me wrong I REALLY want that happiness to come from Cas and a real spoken relationship of some sort between them bc it also ties in with my second point but tbh just PLEASE let dean be happy. Dean is a loving person and does everything for love as we JUST FOUND OUT. Dean would NOT be happy with everyone he’s ever loved gone for the rest of his life. I just don’t believe that’s fucking true. h elp him pls.

TWO: CAS DESERVES HAPPINESS. I know we got this whole speech about “happiness isn’t in the having it’s simply in being”  but like. Really. Castiel was supposed to be a throwaway character no one was supposed to care about. But we all cared SO MUCH that he lasted 11 SEASONS longer than intended and became a main character and an integral part of the story. Cas has arguably sacrificed more than anyone on this show. His last act was to sacrifice his life to save the man he loved. He knew where he was going. He knew he was finally going to be able to tell dean he loved him and then immediately be taken by the empty where we know now thanks to season 15 that everyone in there just gets to dream forever about their regrets and sadness. HOW IS THAT FAIR. HOW IS THAT A GOOD ENDING FOR CAS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE – CHARACTERS AND FANS ALIKE –TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Its messed up, supernatural. Y’all KNOW it is and I hope to HIGH HEAVENS this is going to be corrected in 15x20.

THREE: give sam Eileen back. 

Well that’s all I’ve got in me, folks. I’m absolutely and intensely dreading Thursday. Im scared and nervous and obviously still angry that this is absolutely going to be the opposite of what they promised – another “game of thrones” ending. Some of y’all are giving me hope with your posts about maybe they’re trying to keep the ending a surprise and maybe cas is coming back and how can they not and why else would they have done the second to last episode like that and I hope yall are right.

Either way, im glad I am not alone with my feelings. Thanks yall for the experience of this fandom and show. Let’s stick together on Thursday, no matter our differences.

 PS stop calling jensen ackles a homophobe or ill hex you. 

#supernatural #destiel #deancas #oh and #saileen #just to make sure theyre not forgotten #dean winchester #castiel #Misha Collins #jensen ackles #15x18 #15x20 #15x19 #i fucking guess #dean x castiel #casdean #castiel x dean #supernatural season 15

[johns-prince]

I think when Paul was young he lived in Paul world, if you were interesting to him you were in Paul's world and his whole focus was on you but if you didnt interest him you were invisible. In Paul's world everyone does what Paul wants cause that's the only way obviously and if you protested you were odd and confusing and might need to be ejected from Paul's world. It's not malicious just a bit i dont know childish? That might be the wrong word. PT 1/2

PT 2/2 Again this may be the wrong word but I think John was a bit childish in that he had black and white thinking. There was the people he loved who he absolutely adored and there was everyone else and fuck them. If you hurt him even accidentally then you were an utter awful bastard and he'd never forgive you. The people who were Good just got his full warmth and love and the people who were Bad got the complete force of his acid tongue and cruelty.

Alright, so, I’m not a Paul girl. I’ve talked about how he vexes me sometimes because I can’t really pin him down as I can John. So I’ll try my hardest to I guess, delve into what I think, in regards to him here, the best I can. 

Firstly I’ll say I know you’re not trying to come off insulting or anything towards Paul. I understand what you’re trying to say.

I don’t think it’s fair to claim that Paul only cared about those who technically did what he wanted them too. I mean we could argue that about anyone, anyone young especially-- I could easily argue that about John. We all would like people in our lives, in our realities, to do what we’d like and behave in an easy way to handle and understand. 

But as we grow older we come to terms with the fact that it can’t be done because the world isn’t fair and we can only control what we do and say, and who we might surround ourselves with. But people are going to be confusing and hurt us and be odd and not always meet our demands or expectations, and we’ll probably be the same to others. Just how it is. 

I think with John you’re quite right. I don’t think it was intentionally though, similar to Paul’s way of dealing with people who upset him. Or, even, people who didn't intrigue him, who couldn't keep his attention— wasn't intentionally malicious or anything, though yes, perhaps a bit childish, or simply unaware.

Like, the thing is, Paul wouldn't know if he hurt someone's feelings, because he was busy and if someone gave him a relatively straight answer, he'd take that. Wouldn't exactly read between the lines— he was always moving, y'know? Like, Paul hadn't exactly known John was upset that he hadn't invited John to help with Eleanor Rigby. Because when asked, John simply said it was fine— even if it wasn't to him.

My point is— if only people had told Paul that he had rubbed them the wrong way, or said or did something that hurt or upset them, at the time of it occurring, he would've probably try to rectify it, or clear it up.

If there was only communication, between all of them. Instead of years later, after John had passed, to be told by George, and even Ringo. How was he to really know?

But anyways... I mean if we’re talking in terms of how they expressed their hurt and anger, then perhaps I could agree overall. 

Paul can be just as biting and cruel as John could be, but his anger was simply much colder. He’d lock you out if you upset him or pissed him off. He’d cross his legs, pull up a newspaper, and basically ignore you. Or he’d walk out. It’s true that if Paul wants nothing to do with you he has no qualms in making that known. In a way I suppose that supports your claim that he basically “ejects” people from his world, or circle of friends and allies. You’ve just as much lost his good graces as you would with John. 

Thing is, Paul had just a bit more patience with people then John. He’s much more diplomatic, or at least that's what it seems since Paul wanted to be more involved in the bands business matters, and did seem to be a bit more on the PR side of things then the others (it was simply Paul trying to keep things smooth sailing, he didn't need chaos he needed control, not necessarily being actually a great PR man inherently) he's also much more sociable, being a bloody Gemini lol John, as surprising as this is to some people, was quite shy, bit introverted. So, Paul, despite being much more emotionally constipated than John, just knew how to deal with people, talk to them, y'know? I don't know if I'm making much sense.

Now, with John, John could bite, or at least could in a way that Paul couldn't. John could give someone a wallop if he wanted too, and if you weren’t careful, he would. I’ve read a quote somewhere that would agree if you hurt John or made him feel as if you betrayed him, immediately you’re seen as the enemy and thus blacklisted by him.  

So, I think you're right that, in a way, John's way of seeing things, at least in terms of who he wanted to interact with and have in his circle, was black and white. But that's because, unfortunately, John assumed the worst lol he had this belief that, in the end, people in his life would leave him, abandon him. An insecurity, clearly. So, he'd have the horrible habit of 'testing' people out every once and awhile, make sure they were still loyal, still loved him, and would then stick with him despite the occasional test, of John pushing them away, testing their patience and loyalty to him.

If anyone hurt him, you were lucky if that didn't lead to be completely tossed out of his personal circle— especially when with Yoko. She sort of caused that insecurity in John, or how he'd deal with it (black and white) to get worse. She encouraged John to stay away from people who supposedly hurt him (though not Klein, Spector, or magic Alex, no...) or upset him. Cut ties, leave them in the past, they're only going to drag you down.

The funny thing is, though, Paul apparently hurt John very deeply— whether it was intentional or not, that's what happened. I think John tried, earnestly, to let Paul go, to take Yoko's extremely black and white thinking in terms of "letting go of the past and those who hurt you even if it was unintentional they upset you so let them go" and try to run with it.

John simply couldn't. He couldn't let Paul go. At all. Even if, what we might theorize what had happened, why John felt and acted hurt by Paul, worse than how George felt— like a scorned, ex lover, an ex spouse who, despite all their bullshitting, their hypocrisy and spiteful behavior... Still loves their ex, still wants them.

The funny exception, or simply a telling exception.

#questionsquestionsquestions #beatles discussion/discourse #i finally got to this!