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kinnenvy · 7 months

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qaf wip #1

victorian qaf wip, im 💀. like i was saying idk if i'll ever finish this, but here's a little snippet just to feel something

Dripping. Continuous, incessant, tormenting.

The steady, wet sound echoes through the room and fills the blissfully silent air, it sneaks past any barrier Justin crafts. His hands on his ears, his pillows, then his covers, the weight and width of his shield can do nothing against the quiet drip, drip, drip…

Justin quickly surrenders to watching the water fall from the roof of his room and land loudly in the tin bucket prepared to welcome it. It's unbearable and Justin misses home, misses his room. He misses the comfort of his sturdy mattress, his feather pillows and the maids making sure the stoves warming the rooms never run out of wood and coal.

Justin breathes out slowly, if he had any energy left he would thrash against the coarse bed sheets and throw a tantrum embarrassing enough to rival his younger sister's. Unfortunately, or one could argue fortunately, any will to explode into fits of unadulterated rage has abandoned him the moment his father backhanded him over the breakfast table and threw him, his mother and sister out of their family home and effectively out of the country.

He grabs his pillow, its smell of stale wardrobes and lavender follows him all the way through the large room and out of it. He trudges through the halls of their new accommodation, overtly conscious of the wood creaking under his slippers and the portraits of his grandparents, uncles and younger versions of his mother following him with their eyes as he warily walks in the near complete dark.

Remembering the position of the door he is looking for is giving him a lot of trouble, but eventually he gets the courage to open every door he encounters. He releases a nervous breath, once he finally opens the door hiding his mother. Molly, his sister, is already sleeping by her side and Justin is comforted by the knowledge that they've both had the same idea.

"Mother…" Justin whispers and sounds much more forlorn than he would have liked, "Mom."

She takes a sharp inhale, almost startled, but she quickly seems to relax. Although Justin can't tell for sure, the lunar light filtering in the spaces between the curtains doesn't illuminate the room enough to let him see.

"There's a leak in my room, I feel like it might drive me mad." Justin explains as a way to secure himself a spot in his mother's bed.

"Sweetheart…" She sighs, "I'm sorry, we'll find a new place soon." The thick woolly covers are drawn back and Justin quickly moves to adjust himself underneath them, "You should tell your grandfather tomorrow. He'll have someone come and patch it up."

"Right…" Justin hums, trying not to think about how many perfectly functional, unoccupied rooms void of any leaks, he saw on his way to his mother's.

He's not sure how long it's been since he's gotten in his mother's bed, when he's awoken by shouting rising from the streets. Despite the coldness swirling in the stale air in the room and its difference from the warmth of the covers, he gathers the will to pull himself up on his feet and reach the nearest window.

Near the middle of the crossroad on the right of his grandfather's house, there are two gentlemen, dressed in elegant evening coats and tight, light coloured pants. They seem to be fighting, Justin watches them as they push and shove at each other until the tallest of the two grabs the other by the lapels of his jacket and pulls him towards himself. Their faces meet and Justin jolts away as he realises they're kissing.

His ears start burning, his cheeks slowly heat up as well. Slowly, he creeps closer to the glass again, by the time his eyes are back on the scene his whole face and neck must be dyed in varying shades of red, all bound to deepen as he catches the gaze of one of the men. Thick furrowed eyebrows, a head of dark, purposefully unruly hair and a profile sculpted with the same platonic inspiration that used to fuel renaissance men.

The day begins with another tense breakfast, but thankfully Justin's face is not met by the rough palm of anyone's hand. Despite the fact that his grandfather makes it clear he wouldn't mind issuing a dose of discipline through methods that involve physical pain. He says as much as he eats his coque eggs messily, even though his words nail his father as the sole villain, he waves his spoon menacingly right under Justin's nose and then at his mother and sister.

"I shouldn't have let you marry a man without a title," He says gruffly, the grunting accompanying his words reminds Justin of the old, pink pigs, he uses to see every month, when his father took him to town fairs. "My own daughter, a duke's daughter, banished from her house!" He complains aimlessly throughout their entire meal, while Justin's mother, unsure of her own stance, releases noncommittal noises to let him know she is listening.

Molly doesn't eat anything and as soon as their grandfather leaves the table, she cries and asks to be allowed back home. Justin is conflicted, but underneath the embarrassment and the swelling on his right cheek, he wishes for the same thing.

"I need to go out." is what he ends up saying, he doesn't elaborate, but is also met by no resistance. His mother looks at him with concern, but she's so preoccupied by his sister's soul-shaking sobs, that she just dismisses him with a gesture of her hand and a call for carefulness.

His grandfather hasn't been involved with the military for the better part of forty years, yet he operates by its hours. Wake up call at half past five and breakfast at six, that's why Justin finds himself roaming the streets at seven am sharp.

The air hasn't had the time to be warmed by the Sun, so it's especially cold, it pushes past the barrier of Justin's expensive clothes and forces itself on him, frigid like ice and carrying the tangy scent of coal smoke.

Justin is startled out of his thoughts by a door opening, the mansion standing right in front of his mother's family home. He watches the large entrance door, its solid wood dragging over the threshold and uncovering the same man Justin saw the night before.

He is caught staring, it's embarrassing and it makes the calm wind feel a tad colder.

Without letting himself rot in the memories from the earlier night, Justin starts walking again. He doesn't have a cane and it's too cold to pick the hat off his head and start fidgeting with it, so he tries to discharge some of the nervousness gathering in his body by shoving his hands in his pockets and clench and unclench his fists, pull at whatever loose thread he finds there, do just about anything to stop thinking about the set of footsteps echoing his own.

The man easily reaches his side, they're walking through the intersection when his shoulder bumps into Justin's, he turns to look at him and doesn't do anything to hide how deliberate the move was.

"Sorry." He says without gravitas, his pink lips part in a smile that conveys no friendliness, but snark and other feelings that Justin is not privy to. His eyes, dark and light at the same time, drag very openly over Justin, starting at his leather boots and ending at his own clear, uncomplicated blue eyes. "I haven't seen you around before." He speaks with a thick Irish accent, his voice is steady, but weighed down by the layers of meaning hiding under the surface of each word he utters.

"I'm visiting my grandfather." Justin lowers his eyes to the ground and gestures at the house he's just left. He doesn't dare looking back at it, afraid to see anyone peering through the windows and seeing the exchange.

Long, deft fingers enter his line of vision, they grab onto the golden buttons on his coat and smooth over the forest green fabric, moving upwards until they brush against Justin's chin.

"Oh, a Taylor. A lord, then." He dips his head in a bow, but he sounds like he is mocking him, "Do you have urgent business to attend to?" Justin shakes his head no at his question, dares a glance upwards and feels his breakfast drop so deep inside his stomach that the hunger comes back, only much worse, much more demanding than normal.

The flurry of movements that follow is hard to keep track of, Justin is only looking at the greek slope of the man's nose, at the self-satisfied stretch of his lips as they cross the intersection and quickly disappear in an alley between two mansions. Justin is pushed against a wall, for a brief moment there’s the stench of garbage in the air, until the man in front of him lowers his head towards him and Justin’s nose is hit by the artificial scent of expensive cologne and hints of musk right underneath it, the smell of men he can so easily pick out of any bouquet of scents.

Solid hands make quick work of his golden buttons, Justin instinctively poses his own on them and holds onto the cold skin, half of him in an attempt to slow them, while the other to encourage them.

“What,” He starts and his voice breaks. The man laughs and Justin halts the systems running his body just to gather all his energy to stare and take him in. Brilliant and beautiful, dazzling like the people in songs and paintings. “What is your name?” he tries again as soon as he’s able to retake the reins on his wits.

“Brian.” His voice lowers, it drips slowly like treacle, he raises his chin and squares his shoulders, Justin follows the movement with his eyes and gulps down all the other questions he had been thinking about asking.

"My name is Justin." He says instead, even if the other didn't ask and doesn't seem particularly interested in knowing it. Justin hopes it will stick with him anyway.

"What do you like to do?" Brian asks, he leans his right arm on the wall beside Justin's face, while his left hand still fidgets with his buttons, this time they are the small, round ones cut from mother-of-pearl keeping his shirt closed.

A smile breaches Justin's lips, he is so pleased by the idle conversation, it's just enough to help him keep his mind off the anxiety clamouring right under his skin."Uhm… Painting, listening to music…"

Brian laughs, it feels sort of pointed, genuinely amused, but still mocking, "I mean in more… Private settings." He explains and his head dips until his lips brush right against his left temple as he speaks. Justin’s mouth opens and his jaw goes slack at hearing someone be so upfront.

"Oh," Justin clears his throat and almost chokes on his spit, the anxiety now reaching heights that cross any expectation he could have ever had.

"Do you like to give it? Do you prefer taking it?" The question immediately transports Justin back to the military academy he's just been driven away from. The hushed whispers of his shy, aristocratic roommates asking him in big boisterous words whether he wanted to touch them over their slacks or not.

“Uhm,” Justin shifts on his feet, unsure of what to say. The questions are so straightforward now that it’s impossible to search and find in them some sort of innocent meaning. The issue becomes all jumbled up in his head anyway, he’s never really taken or given anything in these situations and he can’t imagine what he could be giving or taking in an alleyway a few metres away from his grandfather’s house.

“I don’t have all morning.” The man, Brian, straightens up, “Do you want to?” He asks, he narrows his eyes and peers right into Justin. Justin is not completely sure what he’s agreeing to, but he finds himself nodding enthusiastically, his hands grasp the other man’s tighter and guide them more forcefully towards his half opened shirt.

Brian’s fingers are nimble and used to touching to provoke pleasure. Justin squirms and trembles as he traces the faint lines of his muscles, the sensitive skin of his nipples, hard and dark pink in the chilly air.

“You’re pretty.” Brian says against his chest, his lips press kisses on his sternum as he slowly lowers himself to his knees, “Wish I had the time to fuck you.”

The word sounds so loud in the early morning silence, Justin feels it echo and bounce off the walls all around them. For a moment his panic convinces him the entirety of the west end must have heard it, but then the buttons keeping the crotch of his pants closed are undone with ease and his half hardness stands out in the open. Anyone could take a wrong turn, or a maid could come trotting out of one of the houses surrounding them and see them. They would end up on the first page of the Inquirer Weekly and then in jail and Justin’s father will absolutely never forgive him then.

“Hey,” Brian says and looks up from where he’s kneeling on the pavement, “Are you still with me?” he asks, darting his eyes betwixt Justin’s face and his shrinking erection.

“This is a bit,” Justin starts, he scratches his throat, almost claws at it out of frustration, wanting so much what he is being offered, but also being deathly afraid of anyone finding out, “What if someone sees?”

“Who? No one’s staying in these houses, they’ve been empty for quite a while.” Brian arches an eyebrow, his hot palms lay on Justin’s thighs and he caresses him gently, an attempt at soothing him that’s working only marginally against the thoughts rushing in his head. He raises back on his feet and Justin hates himself for having ruined the chance to lay with such a gorgeous man. “It’s fine, dear. Don’t worry about it.” He can tell he’s trying to be gracious, his pants are terribly tented and he can’t stop himself from biting on his lips, as if holding himself back from saying anything more. Justin feels Brian’s lips kiss his temple and then sees him take a step back, retracing the path they’ve followed to find this isolated, secretive angle.

Justin feels him slip through his fingers, his eyes are fixed on the lines of his nose, his jaw, any detail of his features, the beautiful mix of green and amber in his eyes and in a moment he’s stepping forward, “No.” He says, more to himself than the other man, and rises on his toes to kiss him fiercely. It’s clumsier than he would have liked, but the wet slide of their lips is ensnaring to him, the sound alone is enough to make his knees buckle under his weight. His cock is hard again, harder than it’s ever been, Brian touches him again and he fears he might come just with that alone.

Brian doesn’t speak anymore, doesn’t ask leading questions, doesn’t mock and laugh at him. Although he does moan, deep and guttural in Justin’s ears, he kisses him and keeps a tight hold on the back of Justin’s head and his cock. Justin isn’t able to appreciate the scope of sensations he is experiencing, his extremities feel as cold as ice as if all the blood and warmth of his body were concentrating between his legs and in the left hand, secured tightly around Brian.

They stroke each other to completion in no time, Justin feels himself go a little crossed eyed as he pushes as close to Brian as he can, demanding to be kissed, while nearing his climax. Brian indulges him, but he also shifts the positions of their bodies until Justin’s coming against a wall instead of Brian’s clothes. Brian is coming mere seconds later, his hot breath marking Justin’s neck and his hand fidgeting with the strands of his blonde hair.

“Now, this is what I call a good morning.” Brian smiles slyly, Justin’s blood is finally free to roam the entirety of his body and it rushes to his face, showing just how embarrassed he feels by what he’s just done. Quickly they both dress themselves, Justin doesn’t need the help, but he doesn’t protest when Brian reaches around him and he tucks his spent cock back into his trousers, “Thank you for the generous breakfast.” He says and with a slap to Justin’s ass he walks out of the alleyway. Justin is left fidgeting with the buttons of his shirt until he realises what has just happened. He lowers his head, torn between the elation left behind by his orgasm and the need for more. His eyes see a small booklet on the floor, without thinking about it he bends down and picks it up.

He runs, his steps sound awfully loud, despite the fact that most of the lords, ladies, misters and madams inhabiting the houses around him have woken up and have started flooding the streets. Justin is sure he can still see Brian’s wide shoulders walk forward, far from him, but before he can pick up his running again, he is caught, captured by his grandfather’s hand on his shoulder, “Accompany me to the club, boy.” he says in a tone that won’t allow anything other than affirmative answers.

So Justin is left behind, as they wait for the carriage, with the badge of an inspector detective of the metropolitan police in his hands, bound in black leather and hiding the picture of the man he just saw come apart in an empty alley.

#qaf fic #queer as folk fic #queer as folk #britin #britin fic #i have a lot more from this au💀 but no will to actually finish it #idk why i thought i could actually write a ripper street/jack the ripper thing it was insane #but now im super stuck and i hate everything i write and that ive ever written lmao #anyway #fic

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cryptidclaw · 1 year

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hmm so rough idea for oots

first off- no starclan vs dark forest- more so that all the ancestors live on one spiritual plane. Yes there are different sections, but they are all connected

so to kick off the arc, most of Starclan is in a uproar that the Orders changed the laws. Og dark forest cast manipulates more questionable cats into working for them, because they are blinded with rage.

healers are panicking and trying to hide that their contact with Starclan is gone, the lake is drying up, and through all of this, they have received only one prophecy-

The singing dove shall fly a path of stars, lest it get choked by the poison ivy

but yeah, so when falconclaw tells jaywing that primrosedawn had two kittens named ivy and dove, his prophecy senses start tingling.

Dove is babied by River order, while ivy succeeds at fighting and hunting far more. And Hawkfrost takes advantage of this. Visiting her in her dreams, telling her an altered version of the prophecy. The winding ivy shall grow along a path of stars, lest the crying dove tear it to shreds.

Dark forest training happens, but with ‘mainly’ sheathed claws to keep secrecy and a far larger emphasis is placed on the bonds of the df trainees, and they all believe that they are chosen prophecy cats of some kind.

Sol’s cult pops up again, causes chaos, and unleashes more spiritual energy- more and more omens start leaking out of the blockade that the angry Starclan cats made, like a broken dam.

note- tunnels+eclipse= reason that the spirits can fight physically in the end of the arc. Haven’t exactly figured out the reason for it, maybe something about how tunnels-bridge and eclipse-bridge to the dead?

and then the battle happens. Fireheart dies, Onewhisker FINALLY DIES, and the orders win. leader roster by the end of the arc-

Hollyleaf for Thunder, Willowfeather for River, insert character for Wind, Blackfoot for Shadow, and Ravenscourge for Blood.

other notes-

Alder+Spark are born early in this arc

Holly/cinder, whether platonic or romantic, stays strong

falconclaw is just a happy dude

blood and Thunder become even more closer- to the point that they are almost unified completely

ivypool is either single or wlw and I will die on this hill

Thornclaw finally dies

Sol’s cult= few oc’s, plus darktails The kin

aaand that’s my take on Rise of Change Omen of The Stars! Let me know what you think.

Yusss this is so good!!! I was thinking something very similar!!

I really like the idea that the Stars are where all cats go, and in OotS there is a civil war between the Stars with the Orders joining in!

Also I love the idea that Sol gets involved!! that's so good!! Its a great way for him to come back and continue to cause problems hehe

Also the idea that the Eclipse is why dead cats can fight physically works so well??? maybe the Eclipse can happen in OotS instead of Po3!!! and it happens during the battle!!

...

definatley going to do some great civil war for OotS, Im going to need to actually read it first before I come up with anything solid tho lol

#cryptid answers #cryptidclaw's warriors au #rise of change #OotS #omen of the stars

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system-architect · 21 days

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ngl im kinda excited to see how gunner would potentially react to the stabilized rata novus fractal!

u sent this ask to me 6 months ago and ive been kind of letting it marinate in my head while i also figure out how i really feel about soto and im proud to say that after half a year i finally have an answer for u:

he'd be fucking pissed

(long below)

i think that like, at first, gunner would be bonkers levels intrigued by the wizards and the fractal islands and everything about them conceptually. that's his jam. he would feel a bit salty and cheated he hadn't been 'let in on' all the wizard stuff before, because he feels that he works harder than anyone else and essentially deserves to have access to the same pool of knowledge that the wizards have and that it was basically kind of held back from him arbitrarily, but he digresses. it's at least cool to see Now

learning about and then entering the rata novus fractal island is where his opinion would shift heavily. i think he might be kind of initially excited.. it IS his home, without all the chak damage. it's intensely nostalgic to see. but after spending a few moments into it and learning more of its' premise (a rata novus that survived because they made 'different choices'), he'd feel... mocked and exploited, sort of.

for one, he'd feel weird and like it was dirty in a way that he, a living rata novan, was never simply asked any questions and then never had any sort of input on the creation of this thing. but more pressingly, seeing this sort of distorted 'happy bubble where nothing is wrong' version of the world would feel like it was mocking him specifically-- i mean, only 2% of the population of rata novus survived. he WATCHED these people die. he'd feel like the whole premise of the fractal was kind of shitty in a way-- that maybe if the rata novans made 'better choices' they wouldn't have all died or something, as it if was the entire city that brought on the destruction via mismanagement of chak+ley energy, not a small group consisting of zinn and his high council. furthermore, zinn gets to be here-- completely uncontested and flourshing in his happy-go-lucky leadership role, despite 1. gunner feeling that zinn is a colossal idiot 2. zinn having been one of the few who had survived and escaped in the first place.

on top of that all, it's an experiment, a simulacrum-- the entire city and all of the very real (if artificially created/reproduced) people inside can just be frozen or destroyed at will if the wizards have no use for them anymore. everything that rata novus actually was matters 0% here.

#my stuff #gunner #asura!gunner #gunner has a lot of grief from rata novus and witnessing everyone he cared about either die or go missing (like his dad)#one of those things where you kind of feel like the world has stopped #and you dont understand how other people can possibly keep on being normal or feeling cheery when something so life altering has happened #and you know its not their fault. theyre not you. but its hard to reckon with because you feel like your whole life just derailed or paused #its that.. but... everyone he Did lose... is abruptly going on like its normal #but its not real. its forced. and it was done without his knowledge #so his life continues to feel derailed while these little puppets of faces he recognize dance around in a fantasy land #in a version of life that shouldve been his

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ballpitcryptid · 1 year

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So Ive taken it upon myself to redesign a character bc yknow, i feel like some areas of the design could be improved! Though i managed to forget the fact that I am INCREDIBLY indesicive. And its even worse bc this little guy, Fluff, is basically a main character so like.. his design needs to be PERFECT. So naturally ive been a tiny bit of a perfectionist and umm.. things are going some where! Where exactly? I dont know lol!

So for context he originally looked like this

Which I really love this design! I think the color palette is neat. So i was like.. Yknow what? Ill revamp his outfit! Maybe.. tweak the hoodie? Give him a bit more chaos? Hes supposed to be a small mischievious trickster. A goofy lil guy up to no good!

So I then proceeded to make several new designs... Which are, admittably, just made color differences. Yes its like a spot the difference but TRUST me there are differences.

Then Im like "Yknow what, I actually like these! All I have to do now is choose the one I like the most." I made a slight adjustment to the color palette but otherwise it was the same and i felt like it worked really well. A bit of a more complex outfit but overall the same energy as before. So you may be thinking... "Ah great you settled on a design?" WELL..

Earlier today I sort of had this epiphany that I didnt like the color palette. Well actually i really like the color palette, but not exactly for Fluff. Plus I really wanted to give him a rainbow of colors, like a ball pit. Bc yknow, thats his whole schtick. He lives in a ball pit, he turns people into balls etc etc. And I wasnt really getting that from any of the redesigns... SO I ATTEMPTED TO REDESIGN HIM! for like the 4th or 5th time (or 6th or 7th if we are including previous versions of him)

I eventually came up with this. The left being the first concept and the right being a cleaned up version.

I like this design a LOT bc of all the color it has! I think it also manages to feel balanced, which can be hard to obtain with a lot of different colors in a design. Plus I just think hes adorable with a vest and suspenders. Theres only one tiny problem..

I miss the old color palette now.

GODDAMNIT!!

Needless to say I am still going to be refining this mfs design for a while. Feel free to critique or tell me which design you prefer! Bc tbh i dont think any of these will be his finalized design.

#oc #original character #art #wanderers of whimsy #glowhims #character design #artists on tumblr #digital art

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multyfandoms-imagines · 2 years

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Do you happen to have headcanons or imagines centered around Ayin/Keter Sephirah? Especially any related to his many different versions from Legacy to Beta to the final version of Lobotomy Corporation?

The main character of the Manager did change a lot from being a little box cube character in the old pre-launch days to the simple silent insert protagonist pre-final days and to the character we all love and loathe in LC and the sequels.

So it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on Ayin if you have any thoughts about him, if that is acceptable of course to you and within the rules.

Ooh im probably gonna get mixed responses to this one lmao. But here is how i see Ayin

Legacy, Modern and then what do they have in common

Spoilers everyone!

TW: death, mental illness/instability, s-de of 2 characters (LC fans would know), alcoholism

Ayin headcanons (Legacy/Modern version)

Legacy

•this Ayin (aka A, X) has more sanity then his modern counterpart. Tho still off the rails at times

•definitely stressed with how stressful Legacy can be

•suspects the Ai program Angela that he created to hurt him in some way, but A is not sure how yet

•does not really remember much before loops, but when Ayin does, he gets a migraine. Does not know why he even began to think like that (or maybe knows, but its too deep in his mind to remember)

Modern

•believe it or not, his sanity didnt just go downhill, it went though the Earth and into a void of space

•man used to care about his colleagues, but after the Head raid, people dieing in experiments and finally the su-de of other 2 colleagues, one of them being very close to him. Ayin lost much hope

•he tried to make Angela as a means of unhealthy coping (as well as assistant) but it didnt end well

•used to spend most of his time either mourning, drinking and talking to a certain brain

•does feel regret in having Angela to do all the terrible things, but Ayin does not have the courage to either deactivate her or apologize (he is a broken man okay)

•Abel, Abram and Adam (fk day 49 in particular) are Ayin's split personalities. X personality is just Ayin but oblivious that he is the founder and such

Common things:

•Ordeals are the manifestations of Ayin's broken mind. He used to think that they will help in getting enough energy if he used his traumas to get the job done

•despite one Angela being just a text and another a robot, both cannot bring themselves to kill their creation or apologize because they believe they are too far gone

•mostly used to keep going because of Carmen's last wish to help people, but both do not really care if the facility either blows up or abnormalities escape into the world

#lobotomy corporation #lc #headcanons #lc spoilers #ayin/x/a #ayin #a #tw death #tw su-de #(cant really spell it out but i think you got it)#tw mental instability #tw mental illness #tw alchoholism #man Ayin really do be having alot of problems #someone should get Ayin and Angela into therapy

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mariska · 1 year

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got my income for the month the other day and after 6+ months of not being able to make digital art the way i'm used to with my specific accessibility needs because of physical health symptoms with my hands, i was finally able to buy myself a new Paint Tool Sai license today, since a little while back i successfully installed an optional Windows 10 operating system on my Macbook (Sai doesn't run on Mac, at least not Version 1 which is what i need and have been using for over a decade) that i can switch back and forth between whenever and i am so so so so happy and relieved about it and so fucking excited to get to draw digital lines the way im used to drawing them after trying so many other similar programs and failing to find anything that worked exactly the same as Sai's basic built-in pen stabilizer 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i was able to quickly test out my (also ancient lol) art tablet with it and make sure everything works and it doesnt lag or anything like that and its perfect its exactly like i've always used it, i remembered which pen stabilization number setting i've been using for years and like.

dude. i know i sound dramatic right now LMAO but i CANNOT sketch or draw properly on traditional paper or sketchpads anywhere near what i can do in Sai because of all my tremors and shakiness and sudden muscle movements that make accidental lines and all that. and when i drew just one regular brush stroke in Sai and felt it move like im used to and got that super smooth sensation of 'pretty much just drawing like im holding a pencil/pen but with the shakiness of my lines improved'....almost cried a lil not gonna lie fjsgdgsgdhsgshf its been so many months and i've put so much mental energy into researching how to do that whole windows installation on my 2012 era macbook and somehow did that without completely messing it up and then having to wait until a month where i have enough extra money to buy the official version (Sai is so important 2 me and the most accessible digital art program i've ever used for my specific hand problems and i've used it for so long that i am only comfortable using the officially licensed version of it, yknow?) and also theres just something so nice about finally being able to use it again a few days before my birthday even though that timing wasn't on purpose...

AHHHHH im just so relieved. i feel like im free to just be able to make sketch pages and draw stuff whenever i have free time to and i have an idea in my head again and i havent felt that in so long and it was making my depression so much worse....and also because i've been doing my best to adapt to the similar but different settings in Clip Studio Paint, i have 2 really nice digital art programs with a lot of cool and useful features between the both of them now that i can use to like, mix and match with my art!! which is awesome!! i think Clip will mostly be used by me now for more graphic design type projects since Sai's always been my core art program, but i'd love to experiment with drawing/sketching/painting pieces in Sai and then plopping them into Clip and adding some extra fun effects or background elements or even just easier to repeat patterns with its' huge free-to-use resource library for like stamps and texture effects and more photoshop-y things like that.

ANYWAYS!! im just rambling to myself because im so happy and relieved to have My Art Program back so i thought i would share since its rare for me to feel as happy and excited and get some sense of normalcy back in any capacity these days, being immunocompromised and stuck in my house as long as i have been the past 3 years and counting. it has been a good amount of time since i've felt like i have A Victory To Celebrate and i hope that feeling lingers as long as it can 🥹✌️

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loopy777 · 2 years

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A world building question. One of my planned stories is a Tolkien What if set in a universe where Sauron ultimately went west to face judgement, and so in turn this butterflied away the fall of numenor. This in turn caused a second age that essentially never ended, stretching on, and on, and on for years beyond count.

However, due to different events not related to to the numenoreans, the lands of Valinor got a second great shroud put over them, to make certain that none save elves, or one who carried a silmaril as Earendil had, could ever pass by way of sea ships.

My question is this. How would you advice me to handle the flat nature of the world in the age of Planes and airships? Should i treat the void beyond like it's space, or could one actually fly through it without worry so long as one has the fuel? Or should i treat the void like it's always been like space, and so essentially around the world there is a horizontal atmosphere?

I had a little trouble parsing the two options, so I asked for more detail and got the following:

All right so a bit of clarification about the Tolkien second age void question.

My question is, do you think should i treat the void like actual space, aka. Ridiculously hostile, and impossible to traverse without at least 21th century tech, or should i treat it more like, say, the disney movie Treasure planet treats space?

Obviously im not gonna go in the direction as that movie did, with a massive interplanetary trade network or something, but i kinda like the idea of people using flying balloons to explore the sides of Arda, beyond the outer encircling sea where nothing lives, and there is no buoyancy (Specifically made that way, presumably so you can't literally sail off the map.).

Also a bit of expansion on why I'm asking this question.

The way i have always thought of this, is that the point where Eru bend the world into a circle was turning point, not just in making the world much more mundane, and the magic leaving it, but also making the world much more... Clarified and built on a much less fantastical base.

For example. Earendil the evening star. In the context of the first and second ages, Earendil is a man in a flying boat who lights up the night sky, and brought hope to the world after the battle of unnumbered tears, to reawaken the free people in preparations of the war of wrath.

However, as the second age ended, and Eru realigned the universe to fit it, Earendil's physical nature was changed, as while he remained in the night sky, the man on his ship with his sillmarill became the very physical planet Venus, and would presumably remain as such until the Tolkien version of Ragnarok.

Now, one of the things i wanted to explore here, is a world where this never happens. Arda does go through changes, but the world remains the way it was originally made, with a flat top, all the way to the encircling sea, numenor never falls into the sea, though its golden age does not last forever, the elves, though they never quite regain the kind of energy and drive they had before the first dawn, and the first age, never begin to truly fade away as they did into the fourth age, and magic remains much more common even as technology advances.

Hence why i'm trying to figure out how such a world would progress once it reaches the kind of tech where the natural boundaries of the encircling seas suddenly isn't so impassable anymore (Also, you might have realized this story is heavily inspired by the steampunk, prototype numenor that Tolkien eventually abandoned in favor of his finalized version.)

I'm very glad I asked, because this speaks directly to how I like to do my worldbuilding: its primary purpose is to support the needs of the story, its secondary purpose is to provide color and texture, and its lowest priority is to delight the audience. Any worldbuilding that satisfies all three objectives is solid gold. Anything that delights but otherwise adds nothing is on the chopping block if I need to reduce words or tighten the pacing. Anything that enables the story but accomplishes nothing else will get to stay but will be pushed as far into the background as possible. Texture that adds nothing else can be written into something completely different at a moment's notice.

So, considering that one of the main goals of this story is explore a different kind of setting, I like the idea of the 'fake space' that can be explored without a pressurized airtight capsule and strong understanding of momentum. For one, Tolkien was purposefully trying to create a Mythology, not a History, complete with the mythological-style explanation for stars. I think your idea works for how the end of the third age and the loss of magic retcons the fantastical into the mundane, but that's also where the story Tolkien was telling ends, aside from the distant ragnarok. As long as you're exploring the world in your own story, I like the idea of keeping things a bit separate from reality, especially if it makes for good spectacle.

And as far as spectacle goes, I love the idea of a steampunk setting where space exploration is based on older ideas from back when no one thought it would be a vacuum. Elves In Space is a great title, but Elves in NASA pressure suits flying Saturn V rockets doesn't really do anything that actual stories of actual Apollo missions doesn't. Doing something different and creative is a draw on its own, even aside from the Tolkien links.

I also think there's some story possibility where this kind of space exploration creates a kind of Tower Of Babel situation where humanity and/or elves is going a bit beyond what Eru wanted of them and so they might have another set of limiters coming like a vacuum space that's lacking gravity.

Plus, I admit, I just personally like the style of retro space opera that stuff like the Duck Dodgers cartoons pulled from, so I always advocate for it.

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manie-sans-delire-x · 17 days

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If you're doing the TMI ask thingy:

What are the three things you're looking to most rn?

And alsooo ik lately you are looking for a partner so what sort of a guy are you into and who are you looking for?

I'm pretty much open to TMI asks 24/7 lol

Hmm well earlier I realized how many good tv shows were coming out soon and got excited about that! Fallout tv show this month, Interview with the Vampire s2 in May, and Arcane s2 in Nov!! Ah!! Too bad Blue Eye Samurai s2 isn't coming out for like two years...cry cry.

Also, I write in pieces but some of it has finally shaped into a full first chapter!! I have a bit more to write, but I'm excited to soon have an actual chapter done.

Also looking forward to summer so I can wear my slutty little clothes, and I havent been clubbing for too long.

Honestly thats hard to say because every guy I've liked have all been quite different. And this is sad but its mostly been fictional characters, I've only ever had feelings for one real guy in my life, so I'm really not sure. Anyone who makes me actually feel emotions for him, thats the most important thing.

But if I had to say, I would say I like guys who are similar to me- who have a sad soul, are traumatized and mentally ill, have real life experience and have faced legitimate hardships, are on the serious side, deep thinkers, logical, intelligent, who arent afraid to speak their mind and go against the grain or have controversial opinions, who really think for themselves and are their own person. I wouldnt mind if they have anger issues and are aggressive or violent as long as they dont direct it at me or become toxic or irrational. I like men who are confident, self assured, and mentally mature, capable, tough. I like guys to be on the rougher side, even a little sadistic and dark. Masculine energy. Protective and possessive. Sexually dominant.

But then I can also like some guys who are kinda soft spoken and sweet, who I believe is a rare, truly good person, a better person than me, where I want to protect them instead. Im drawn to artists- whether thats drawing, writers, or musicians.

He has to have soul, depth. And intelligence and maturity. And physical attraction. Those are a must. Wit and good humor. Wisdom.

I dont really care about anything else though- I can accept a broke guy, an addict, a criminal, someone with severe mental illness or severe trauma, family issues. I can accept all that if I like him.

I don't like goofy guys, or guys with feminine vibes. I also dont like people who cant shut the fuck up.

But sexually, I do have my eye on this one guy, just to sleep with though, most likely not as a partner. He's tall, in good shape, good looking, has a skeleton hand tattoo, shaved head, and a tear drop tattoo (which is kinda like the male version of a tramp stamp dont you think hahah). He told me he's been to jail, which isn't surprising. Thats fine, as long as it wasnt against a woman or child. Like I said I do enjoy that rougher look.

#asks

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tarnishedxknight · 3 months

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{aw tyvm! I’ve been super inspired for the fairytale au with our favorite quartet lately, so I’ll probably send some stuff in for that soon! unfortunately im currently very sick and miserable :( }

Basch, Ashe, and Noah, what modern fairytales do you associate yourselves with? What fairytales existed in Ivalice?

__________

{ Alright! But take your time, especially if you’re under the weather. There’s never any rush for anything, and honestly, I am so behind on replies on this blog that I have more than enough to do for weeks hahaha. }

Basch, Ashe, and Noah, what modern fairytales do you associate yourselves with?

Ashe: “I suppose Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Not that I identify with Snow White, we’ve very little in common personality-wise, but the basic premise of a princess being driven from her home and into hiding, gathering a group of friends who want to help her, and eventually wanting to return to save her kingdom from the evil that has gripped it… that speaks to me. I know there have been many versions of that tale, but the basic story is similar to mine.”

Noah: “Have you ever heard of one called The Shadow? It is about a man who cannot be free of his shadow, it follows him everywhere, and eventually it begins meddling in his life. It saps his energy, it steals his interests, his bride, his health… and those around him begin to not be able to distinguish between him and his shadow. To the point of the shadow completely usurping him by the end of the story and living his life, claiming that he was the real person of the two all along. Some of that story reminds me of Basch. He is as my shadow which everyone thinks is identical to me but better, that has done nothing but meddle in my life.”

Basch: “The Shadow speaks to me as well, but for a different reason. If it is a story of relinquishing one’s identity, I have certainly experienced that. If it is one of using one’s face and words against them, to take or ruin one’s reputation, then I have experienced that as well. But if anything, it teaches that appearance and words are often the sum total of one’s public identity, while actions and intentions make up one’s private identity. It may be easy for others to be fooled by an identical face or moving words, but eventually, always, one’s true nature will emerge.”

What fairytales existed in Ivalice?

Ashe: “There was a fairytale told to me when I was very young about the sun falling in love with the ocean. They were fascinated by each other’s differences, but those differences kept them apart. The deep ocean was far too cold and dark for the sun, and the scorching desert sands were inhospitable to the ocean and all the creatures she safely harbored. They were forced to go their separate ways, with the expansive deserts of the Estersand forever stretching toward but never quite meeting the beaches that bound Dalmasca on either side. But their love was not to be denied, and so, over the centuries, the ocean crept from those shores inland, toward her love in secrecy, deep beneath the sands where it was cool enough for her to tread. Finally, she had reached him, with her cool waters buried beneath the sands he warmed so well. A part of her was left there, so that the sun would never be lonely again. And that is why there is a massive, natural groundwater store beneath Rabanastre to this day.”

Noah: “What about changelings? Oh, that was such a beloved story in the country in which I was born. So beloved that they were willing to sacrifice innocent children to avoid the consequences of it. The people there twisted the original story of the changeling, that of a fairy child who stole away the human one and took its place, wreaking havoc on the lives of those in the child’s family. The story was twisted to explain the existence of twins. There aren’t really any twins at all, the people said, only children and their demon counterparts who will slowly drain them and kill them, becoming victorious over them and gaining all the nurturing and resources that would have belonged to the human child. So when twins were born, the people arbitrarily said the firstborn was the true child, and the second, the demon. As you can imagine, this resulted in many unfortunate secondborn twins being eliminated due to the superstition. How fortunate for me that my mother was Archadian and not Landisian, or I might have been one of them.

Basch: “Aside from tales of rare, magical creatures in the desert, or those of the Occuria, I haven’t much experience with fairy tales. I hear stories here and there from others, but I have not had the time to read such tales myself. Regrettably, what my brother has said of twins in Landis was true, and I thank whatever forces of man or gods that kept him alive in the face of such superstitious ignorance.”

#main muse: basch #side muse: ashelia #alt muse: noah #tw: child harm

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abyssalpriest · 6 months

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allowing myself one (1) post about this game

still fucking thinking about reblogging this this morning

because it reminded me of Yahar'gul but in a soft way... which (being able to think about it in a soft way i mean) is a manifestation of my fucking dawning realisations that when i "was in Yahar'gul" "astral projecting" with my ex, the one who had a fucking mini cult based around pretending bb created him and other spirits, it wasnt JUST the fictional replication/simulation of it that my dumbass ex made in his mindspace (territory in the mental realm), but ALSO a version in Lev's mindspace AS WELL, and Im struggling to want to recall these things let alone start dissecting a difference but like. no there were definitely... times that we were inside Lev's head. I say we too because at this time my ex was still in Lev's good books so to speak. TLDR I thought this was JUST fake memories created by my ex to convince me YHG was real, but it wasnt just fake memories I was in versions of it inside his and Lev's heads (for very different reasons between the two of them lmfao)

but like. Lev told me before I started dissecting (and hence was the reason i started dissecting) memories of Yahar'gul that he "had/has a version of Yahar'gul too" - it wasn't just my ex, he also had a version... Im actually starting to think I was in his mindspace more often than not when i was "in" "yahar'gul" but like. ive been like... WHY would that be true, why would he have a version of this?? Yahar'gul to me is synonymous with corruption and fucked up unethical experiments, its synonymous with (the) micolash(s) and their fucked up school and their slaves (arguably one and the same thing with their school), and yeah my ex introduced it to me as The Sunshine Village (the Sun being the energy Lev ruled/rules with, he is arguably THE sun to my ex) but like. my ex, supposedly A Micolash, stole so many of Lev's symbols its un-fucking-believable so of course The Sunshine Village would be what it was called even if it had nothing directly to do with lev. Lev's symbols and energies were just free game to my ex lmfao

anyway. you know where else was synonymous with corruption and fucked up unethical experiments when it was taken over by people running a fucked up school and cult? the fucking city that i already thought yahar'gul was based on that Lev gave to the spirits I know who pretend to be micolash(s) that he eventually bent reality around and fucking destroyed for their hubris

lmfao at the song playing in the bg after i asked lev a million times if i can post this

yeah i fucking bet thats Yahar'gul for you Lev

anyway. tldr. i fucking finally pieced together thinking that YHG was based around a city Lev gave to two people who later identified as being "Micolash" (the people kinda implied to be head of the fictional village YHG) with Lev being like "ah yeah well i also have a version of it in my head, alongside your ex ("a micolash") who lied about it being real to trick you" despite the fact that what I knew YHG to be from my ex was extremely fucked up. almost like... as much as lev talks about ESPECIALLY especially especially through fiction about corruption like... he alwayyysss is talking about and creating fiction around the brutality and fucked up results of corruption.... almost like lev had a reason to be connected to and invested in this fucking place it was his

#apparently 'the City's destruction is no fucking secret in the spirit world so i can talk about it but like #ramblings //#primogenitor's baby //#god this fucking game really is like. IDK LMFAO im starting to take lev seriously about it #oh my god. the song after that I Am Stretched On Your Grave fucking hell i thought this was a dark ambient playlist #WE'RE IN MY PLAYLIST??? LMFAO WHAT god my pc and my phone refusing to sync spotify is. interesting anyway #GOD THERES LIKE. there is so much fucking here. lev said the other day one day when im ready he wants to go through the game w me #and talk about shit and give me the secrets and shit that like. it wasnt just my ex that drew me to the game it was also him bc thers #EVEN IF ITS NOT actually based around the shit im convinced its directly based off through channelling. it still provides a mirror #oh man didnt he literally say its a mirror lmfao #fictional murmurs //#this time in my life is just. the melody on top of the drone that is Lev's silence in the things he wanted to tell me but couldnt

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nyctophiliq · 1 year

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sup moss! congrats on 500 followers and can i get myself a match up with someone (preferably a woman) from arcane? Im in freshman yr of college and im studying bio! I want to work with either environmental conservation or at an animal sanctuary soon, and my main hobbies are watching/playing dungeons and dragons, and art. I really enjoy being creative, even if i dont have a lot of time for it. Oh! im also 5’2” and nonbinary, and a virgo! Ehm,,, MBTI- wise i am an infp. I also have a dope undercut and am a very big nerd! Once again, congrats on the milestone, and i love your work! (the intro blurb is something i would totally use for when i DM)

your match-up and star messenger is . . .

MEL MEDARDA (entj) !

you are the "love at first sight" couple

at first, there will be a lot of back and forth on mel's part. she firmly believes her position in the council will put you at risk and not just that, but the thought of her mother circling around you sickens her. she truly wanted the two of you to have that teenager-like love when nothing in the world mattered but the two of you, she just needs time to realize that dreams have a price before coming true.

the two of you have very different energies, yours is much calmer alongside your aura while mel's is dynamic. the two of you balance each other out and contribute to the attraction between each other, especially in the early days of your relationship. mel will seem calmer, and miss out on some of her work which might cause some problems later on but at the moment all that matters that the two of you are together.

some aspects of your relationship would be:

"can i kiss you?" she always asks before doing so

mel is either shipping you off or hiding you from her mother- she loves you dearly but her mother is a scary and judgmental woman

airship dates !!! piltover has a bunch of them, no question mel herself has one and it's the best way to talk about future plans for the city or just involve the two of you

she loves running her fingers through your hair, lingering at the undercut part, that's the best part

MEETING EACH OTHER !

version 1

your college has assembled a group of some of the most forward-thinking students with their best ideas on how to solve the water pollution that has been intimidating the population of both piltover and zaun. with the older folks on the council running out of ideas and viktor and jayce not being able to use techniques that don't involve the prototypes of their hextech creations, mel needed fresh eyes with new ideas. a bunch of you had to get on a stage in front of the members of the council and some more investors and start to present your solutions in front of them. your heart pounded in your chest, so hard it could jump out any minute especially with councilor medarda's eyes boring into yours.

"change of plans... it's gonna be a one-on-one presentation, no need to stress our youth more than they already are."

version 2

while going to piltover's finest university came with its perk of a scholarship that paid for tuition, it didn't necessarily cover the cost of your daily need to eat. so you took a job at a local bakery, and stand at the cash register for a while to collect cash for food. it paid decently, and you could get the nicer bags of food from the fancier stores. the day she walked inside was a bad one, finals eating up all your brain capacity, and keeping all the prices in mind for each pastry was just as hard as keeping up with your lessons. it was even harder to remember with councilwoman mel walking in and out most of the week.

"i usually never do this, i keep myself from doing it anyway... but could i have your name?"

YOUR SONG IS . . .

francis forever by mitski !

#📼 › moss tapes #arcane match up #match up #match up event

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jenanddomo · 1 year

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1.14.23

he didnt deserve me nor my love, we made it to complicated to love eachother. it was like a repeatin cycle were one loves the other too much n the other feelings die out. love is not abt spark is what i learned when i left in sept-dec. but for other people they still gotta learnnn. im still mad, feels like my feelings were played tbh, bc i remember he texted me first, he even said if i didnt like u i wouldnt text u. it hurts to see the person u love so much move on. but tbh u gotta be happy for them no matter what. like im proud he makin his own decisions n stuff. it just sucks im still stuck . he said he will probably date her but the fact that hurts me is that he will be willingly tryin a long distance relationship that will prob wont see eachother, but we couldnt even see eachother

he couldnt last a week

i was supposed to see him this weeknd or next weeknd, it sucks bc i was so down for it. but tbh everything changes when u least expect it. it sucks being heartbroken n its hard to let go, but i never felt like this. i never felt like freedom on my hands, its so calm without an argument, non stressful bc i dont have to worry abt him n the actions i make.

i hope i can peace within myself, im so problematic in relationships now that i think abt it. i think im problematic idk we all got different opinions. idk all i can say ofc the other person gon treat their new person better. bc we learn from our mistakes from past relationships. im sayin the obvious lolol its funnyy,

part of me is sayin let go and stuff

but the rest of me is still dwelling on him, n i hate it with a passion, i dont wan be stuck on him no more, i got way too attached, it sucks, im so scared to get attached now; it feels like he was my comfort n motivation to pretty n be the best of myself, but tbh i feel like i was my worst version ever. i feel like rn i been pretty good abt myself lately. i feel like i can be nice to everyone again and just be chill n nonchalant

im so glad i didnt agree to the fuck buddy’s thing bc ik damn well that wouldve hurt me more.

eitherway

today i rested,workout, finally ate meal rn, im more likely gon sleep bc tired, i also been losin appetite again but this one is just bad bc ion drink water or eat

i just look at the food n just feel disgusted. idk but im tryna eat again bc i swear i dont have energy no more n that cause im sleepin 7-8 hrs now , workin out, it just my problem is the food now.

anywaysysyssyysys goodnightt

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persistdiary · 2 years

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what i want to get out of this project

i find that because of starting a new job, my life has been in shambles trying to grasp a sense of control and routine, not that i need to control myself in any way but maybe i should start to be a bit more diligent and hold myself accountable for things. things that have always been a habit of mine, such as turning to food for comfort, to cure boredom and to wallow in my sadness/anxiety/stress/frustration/anger. thats mainly it and its something that i really need to work on

i feel like i truly dont know myself yet and of course it will take a long time to really grasp it. but i think i need to be in motion. reading books, working on hobbies and doing stuff like that + also completing this project will help me

i need to overcome these obstacles, the fear of movement, change and unfamiliarity, the discomfort, in order to grow myself and really become my best self. because i feel like i havent been my best self in a while now.

and i feel like i always project these feelings onto someone else in order to fill the void but this time is going to be different. because im gonna have a CRUSH on MYSELF. im going to invest so much time on myself, gonna do so many things for myself, take myself on dates, treat myself with the same kinda ~obsessive~ mindset i use for boys who arent even worth your time and effort.

i am going to become a new, different but same but also improved version of myself, gonna become the BEST version of myself, one who is calm, lives out of her head, accepts that life is full of anxieties and just lets it be.... but that’s for another post i guess

what i want out of this

- someone who finally gets it, the importance of looking after herself, really practising self love, compassion and grace

- stop beating yourself up, when recovery is never linear and its difficult and hard and is never a temporary, quick 2 weeks scheme

- gaining more confidence in myself

- becoming less anxious + always in my head

these should be the true goals of this project, and hopefully it will help lead you to recovery

this is true because:

- i have an unhealthy relationship with food which makes me eat random things that aren’t the most helpful for my body and in contrast actually perpetuates the problem, and its a vicious cycle which i have not been able to heal from for many years

- it has led to a yoyo cycle of losing weight and gaining it back

- my period makes it worse as i tend to eat a lot of carbs and sugary foods

- makes my skin worse and leads to water retention and bloating

- makes my mood worse

- decreases my confidence: can’t wear clothes i like, being self conscious of my body/face, not feeling good, slight body dysmorphia

- affects my energy, both internal and external

- kind of just makes life a lil less exciting and not to the fullest potential

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corruptedconfessions · 3 years

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last weekend I caved and read everything you ever uploaded here once more agskshkdd this is who i am as a person. but im love your writing so much!!! i have an especially soft spot for the naga stories, are those the ones that are about half-snake people? i always mess up the names but how do you think bakugou (and or kiri) would be as a yandere one, when he falls for the reader? i can't remember you ever writing a snake-version of him and idk if you'd be up for it but i'm super curious! xoxoxo

Aww!! Thank you so much :)

And yes! Naga’s are the snake people, semi human from the torso up and giant ass snakes from the hips down!

Bakugou:

If there is one word to describe yandere Naga Bakugou its possessive. It takes a lot for him to chose a mate, he is incredibly picky, picking his mate much past the typical age but once he picks?? Possessive protective to the extreme. You are his mate to do with what he pleases, and absolutely no one is going to take you away from him. Hell, he gets pissy the second another creature, intelligent or not even looks at you. You won’t be leaving his nest any time soon after he snatches you up, even trying to peek over the edges of the flattened down bowl in the ground leads to you being dragged right back to the middle and getting angrily chewed out and huffed at as you get tucked right back into the nest.

I think he’d most likely fall for a darling who hikes or walks frequently in his forest for whatever reason. A hunter, camper, or just any kind of nature enthusiast will quickly catch his eye. You’re so small…and your body is so different than his and yet you constantly come back here, carelessly leaving your scent everywhere, as if inviting him to have a taste. He isn’t one to turn down the offer. He doesn’t have any form of patience, somewhere during a mid afternoon doze and lunch he’ll come to the conclusion that he wants you, all while still ripping the meaty remains of his prey off the bone. Right then and there he decides to have you, still picking meat from his teeth with the jagged edge of a bone. The next time he sees you you’ll be snatched up into his arms and dragged back to his nest, kicking and screaming left ignored as he unceremoniously dumps you in his nest and refuses to let you leave.

I picture him most likely picking a human mate tbh, He enjoys being bigger and stronger than his mate, justifying the overbearing desire to hide away and protect what's his, something other Nagas wouldn’t tolerate. Even if you don’t tolerate it it doesn’t really matter, he is bigger and stronger than you, and can easily just pick you right up and carry you back to where he wants you to be. Biting, kicking, punching, anything just bounces off his hard scales. Honestly fighting like that is more likely to turn him on than anything else~ If you have this much energy you clearly can put it towards incubating some of his eggs right? Hopefully that fiery spirit will pass on to his eggs once they hatch~

He’ll also be curious, painfully so, eagerly twisting and pulling you in his hold like a doll, poking and prodding as he inspects you. Its not often he sees a human so close without eating them. He’s cruel in the sense that he likes to poke your squishy spots just to listen to your cute noises and watch you try and wiggle away from him. Its hardly ever malicious, though, the claws in your mouth, feeling up your teeth. Or large hands encompassing your entire calf as he feels up your leg is pure curiosity. He’ll look almost childish, eyes wide with wonder as he watches you twist and bend, so small and fragile yet so resilient.

He’ll hiss and throw up a fit if you call him out on this but he is also incredibly cuddly. Maybe it’s just because of that protective nature of his but he loves wrapping around you, snuggling his face into your stomach, tongue darting out to smell your skin. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that you are a breathing furnace compared to the cooler blooded beast. He’s so soft in those moments, eagerly nuzzling you and lapping up any attention you’ll give him, even if he huffs and insists its for your protection and warmth if you say anything. Human skin is so thin and you are so needy for warmth! How did you ever survive without him curling around you to keep you warm and chase off the chill of the night air. You’d be wise to keep your mouth shut about the fact that he is actually sapping your heat with his cold skin. Best not take those rare tender moments for granted, yeah?

Kirishima on the other hand leans more on the protective side of things. He’s younger than Bakugou, more on the naïve side of things and much more at the whims of his instincts. I think he’d honestly mate with the first little thing he comes across, unable to hold back and be patient at all. He’s a bit of a romantic at heart, in a terrifying, he’ll eat and swallow whoever you’re with whole when he sees you way. He wants nothing more than a happy loving mate, round and heavy with his eggs waiting for him when he comes back to his nest. He wants to protect and provide and snuggle with his cute little mate!

He’s brutal, eating and killing anything that comes close to you, and then immediately turning around and crooning and loving on you, rubbing up against you like a dog, his face still coated with any remains of what, or rather who, he just ate. (Lucky for you he prefers to swallow his prey whole…watching him gag up and spit out the bones that he cant digest isn’t a pleasant sight though.) Endlessly doting and so…incredibly suffocating. There will always be a hand, or head, or tail, or something pressed, wrapped, or snuggling against you. Half the time you feel like a living teddy bear as he cuddles and nuzzles you non stop, curling up in his nest and holding you close to his chest, face buried in your hair. The only time he tears himself from your side is to go hunting, and even then when he comes back you are scooped up and squished in his arms until he calms down again, extremely distressed from being separated from you.

He is obsessed with being a good mate for you, protecting, providing, and spoiling his partner. He’ll be traditional, hunting down larger pray than necessary just to impress you. Happily puffing his chest out when he dumps a bunch of hay and leaves into the nest, telling you that he knows humans cant sleep on hard rock comfortably, and so this will be more comfy! (Not that it does much, with how close he insists on being when cuddling, you practically sleep on him instead. Trapped against his firm chest as arms wrap tightly around you). Now this isn’t common behavior for nagas, but he’ll also bring you pretty little trinkets that he finds, gems or geodes he finds in his cave, pretty jewelry he steals from humans, rocks that he really likes and wants to share with you. Reacting positively to these gifts, maybe even making a small little pile for them in the nest will put him over the moon. He becomes so gushy and loving towards you for it you can get away with nearly anything after that.

Unlike Bakugou’s nest which is out in the open, daring any threat to even try and come close to his mate, Kiri hides you away. His nest will be hidden away in a maze like cave (He carved it out himself by hand! Something he very proudly tells you when the two of you can finally converse without you screaming or him fucking you silly). He never leaves your side, determined to protect and love you, but even in the moments he does, escape is hopeless. Even after crawling up the sides of the deep pit carved out of solid rock (you really don’t want to think how strong his claws are to carve out solid stone and made such deep grooves in the sides) you’ll be left wondering and aimless maze, impossible to not get lost or even get near the exit before Kirishima is back, rushing your side and picking you up into his arms in a panic. Naturally, being the innocent thing he is he assumes you missed him and went searching for him instead of trying to escape, but now you’re trapped in an even tighter hold under an even tighter watch as he tries “to make it up to you”.

With Kirishima you have a small chance, though. If you are loving and gentle enough to him, and you ask him so sweetly if you can get out of the cave just for a little bit! Promise! He may take you to a nearby river to play in the water, or a hotspring to soak together. Once you really have him wrapped around your finger you might be able to convince him to go on daily walks (slithers?) with him, only if you look sad and pout up at him enough, insisting that the cave is too dark and scary and you miss the sun. He’ll feel so bad he just might sunbathe with you outside for awhile too.

#yandere #kirishima x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #naga

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thefangirl-16-blog · 2 years

Text

Ranting about Every Wide Smile

(that is currently in my playlist)

So I have a playlist of 20 different versions of wide smile and I'm bored so I'm gonna talk about them (cos I've got a mostly free day today and I'm procrastinating) also i worte this as I was listen to each versions so some have way more than others, sorry

1983 Workshop

I cant understand 90% of what he's saying but what i can hear i really like. But i mean its Michael and he's great so of course he sounds good lol. The context of this version's very different since it would go there U.N.C.O.U.P.L.E.D. is the final show and really wish i could hear it better cos the lyrics are definitely different and id really like to know they are. Also also I love much he gets into it

OLC Cast Recording

I listen to this one almost everyday lol. I have clear Michael Staniforth bias but can you blame me? idk what to say about this one, its just really great lol

Japan/Australia Tour 1987 album

The intro from Bway onwards is somehow giving both 14 year old writes edgy poetry and actually being kinda cool and idk how. This one does kinda sound like he's just singing instead acting it at all but that could also just be me. Like the way he says this red C will not divide a lot

London 1988

Okay unpopular opinion time but this is low-key my second favourite wide smile. Idk i just really like his energy also its very elctraboose-y to me so that's probably a big factor as well. "You naughty know it boy" my beloved. They way he says no way makes the brain very happy which is a weird thing to focus on i know lol

1989 Bochum Press Rehearsal

Rip Electra's Mic in the opening. I love the way cb moves so much also the way hes like red caboose:D at certain points - very cute. Mini handshake for the win HANDSTAND CARTWHEEL THINGY

Broadway 1988

TODD LESTER MY BELOVED <3 my absolute fave version no competition. THE SPILTS!!!! incredible. Gets one point off for Electra's brush hair tho. "I admire you soo" and "GREASEBAWL". The way he says rail disaster lives rent free in my way and can't explain and the hiding in the back of the freight train bit, basically all of it lol. Also im trying not to focus too much on visuals but love the choreography. V. good electraboose handshake as well. The little bit at the end with even more pop culture references is low-key incomprehensible half way through but i cant help but love it. "Sleep tight sleepy head, the red caboose is under your bed"

Bochum 1989

This somehow has less pixels than my beloved london boot. Idk how i feel about his laugh at the start still a very funky little guy tho. Nothing really stands out too much but its still very soild (as if theres a bad version this song) does the red ca-BOOSE thing at one point

US Tour 1990

I really like the way his voice sounds but idk how to articulate why. He gets the longer ending again which i really enjoy

'National Tour' 1990 (might also be US Tour)

Voice doesnt really scream cb to me but I dont dislike it either very different take on the handshake bit vocally but since I'm listening to these all at once, it's a welcome change

Bochum 1991 Album

The opening 2 seconds gives me life. Not sure about how i feel about it just kinda starting tho. He seems kinda quiet? at the beginning but i like him the longer it goes on tbh. He's just a funky little man here and i love it also he basically yells red caboose and i love that

honestly I have no idea what year this is Bochum

This one is defiantly in the wrong place in the playlist lol. I wish I had more to say about this one, it's just very solid but this is another one where nothing really stands out too much. I like his little laugh at the end tho

1991 Bochum

Another one that moves in a very cb way idk how to explain it but it juts screams cb to me lol. Love his voice as well. The way he say red caboose is so great. Handstand-cartwheel-thingy my beloved <3. Love his laugh as well

Bochum 2001

Very mixed emotions on this ceeb. Definitely think he goes way too far his laugh, he does sound pretty gremlin-y but im not sure if it's in a cb way? idk how to explain it. This Electra wig is just bad I'm sorry. Gets props for being the last video that I've found with the handshake. I think I've been too mean on this one, he's not BAD im just not sure if the vibes is right i guess?

Bochum 2003/4

The first handshake-less wide smile video. Also the audio on this insanely loud for some reason? it's got nothing to do with the performance tho. A nice ceeb, I enjoy. Electra puts his hand on CB's shoulder at end and i'm counting that as an electraboose moment now

Bochum 2003/4 (but a different one)

That moment when you realise this footage might be as old as you. fdjbjdkbgkbfkdb i hate having nothing say. He's good but nothing really stands out that much after it cut down imo so it makes the later ones hard

Bochum 2004

You can tell his guy is faking the laugh :/ he does just sound like he's say hahaha. Electra rolling the r in red sound is cool tho. This ceeb low-key did a little laugh-word thing on one of his red's and that's cute, i like that

Bochum 2015

Nice laugh in the beginning, still hate that they somehow made it shorter again and less electraboose stuff. He definitely does the red caBOOSE thing and I love that so much. There is lowkey electraboose at the end tho which is good (i mean they stand now to each but you know - im easily pleased)

English Charity Gala Bochum 2017

I don't really love Dan's CB that much tbh. His voice just doesn't really fit for me? love his can't explain. He has a v. good laugh tho, especially at the end

London Workshop 2017

Okay don't @ me but I really like this guy as BV, like i don't really like him the rest of the workshop but I do really like his wide smile. The way he says back and track is so great and idk why. "Ain't that rich". The vibe is very different from the ceebs but i think that really fits BV so im not complaining

Bochum 2018

I hinted this before, but I think Dan is a better BV than CB imo. Didn't say this before but I love that it's longer again (now give them a handshake as well). Dan's high notes absolutely give me life

#betty's stex rambles #stex #starlight express #av stex #cb stex #bv stex #cb the red caboose #electraboose #what do you expect it's one of my posts lol #hfjhbvfjkbnhdfnvbfhdvsh #back to editing english coursework ig

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