Women,Rose Starring/ The shape of a girl Joan McLeod/ Elektra, Sophokles/ Letter to my rage,Lidia Yuknavitch
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I wish I had killed myself when less people would miss me
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The anxiety consumes me at times.
I feel I can’t breathe.
I can’t think straight.
Intrusive thoughts of self distraction consume my mind.
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I am truly understanding that I must be compassionate to my younger self. I feel like because I'm still fairly young and because of how children like me were (and continue to be) adultified, I fail to understand that I spent most of my life as an actual child. I have had such a hard time understanding that but I am slowly acknowledging that.
Children are children. Children have the right to innocence, naivity, and safety. I had the right to all these things and if these rights were not granted to me then it cannot be my own fault.
What power does a child have in our world? None, not socially, legally, or mentally. So how can I be responsible for any of the abuse or mistreatment I have faced at the hands of adults or even other children?
How can I be angry at a child who was alone, scared, and exploited? I can't, it doesn't make sense nor is it fair to that child who l've grown from.
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The timing for my problems and traumas in life are outstanding
But i will overcome!
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