Thor: Ow! My armkle!
Valkyrie: Your what?
Loki, sighing: His wrist.
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Y/n: Valkyrie said we got princess at home.
Carol: Stop saying that!
Valkyrie: Okay, pretty princess.
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Thor: Did you have to stab him?
Loki: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what he said to me.
Thor: What did he say?
Loki: “What are you going to do, stab me?”
Thor:
Bruce:
Valkyrie, nodding: That’s fair.
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*Talia is telling a story*
Valkyrie: Wow, Talia, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance!
Shang Chi: Romance?
Valkyrie: I have a crush on her.
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Dorcas: I’m passing the phone to someone who’s addicted to dragon soup.
Marlene: I’m passing the phone to a ginger.
Lily:
Lily: I am passing the phone to someone who’s mean to everyone.
Regulus: first of all, that was a lie, second of all, I’m passing the phone to the person with the hugest glasses you have ever seen in your whole life ever.
James: I’m passing the phone to someone who’s really annoying in the morning because they have so much energy.
Mary: hello! I am passing the phone to the biggest undercover party animal!!
Remus: ...I am passing the phone to the person who’s mostly to go home early from a party because it’s past his bedtime.
Sirius:
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RoR Incorrect quotes#158 Romance
Nikola: Y/n I need my-
Y/n*Scrooling thru your phone, hands him his NOW cleaned goggles*
Nikola: Oh also I didn’t get a chance to…
Y/n*Hands him a cup of fresh cup of coffee, Just how he likes it*
Nikola*Sipping the coffee and blinks*... Marry me?
Y/n*Not looking up at him* I took care of that too, we’ve been married for the past seven years
Nikola: Excellent!~
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Avengers reactions to being called straight:
Carol: The fuck, no I'm not.
Maria Hill: Excuse the hell out of you?
Valkyrie: Ding dong, you are wrong!
Wanda: Who told you that? And why did they lie?
Kate: Rude.
Natasha: *punches the person*
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In the training room with Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie
Nesta: WHO ARE WE?
Gwyn and Emerie: THE VALKYRIES!
Nesta: WHAT ARE WE?
Gwyn and Emerie: WE’RE WARRIORS!
Nesta: AND WHAT DO WE LIKE?
Gwyn: Smut novels!
Nesta:
Emerie:
Cassian: *snickered*
Azriel: *pursed his lips*
Gwyn: Oh, wrong answer. We like to kick asses!
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James: Time sensitive question how to flirt with a boy?
Marlene: Throw rocks at he.
Mary: Hot Dogs.
Lily: Kill him.
James: Thanks girls.
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Rhys: “So let’s see if I’ve got this; you have immense shadow power, incredible combat skills, height, tattoos, secrets, dead parents, a thirst for vengeance, the weight of the world on your shoulders, a rebellion to lead, and a dragon?”
Xaden: “Yeah? I mean, there’s also my girlfriend who I’m completely in love with and 107 people under my protection but-”
Rhys: *frantically flipping through papers* “this is the hyper-intelligent girlfriend with unprecedented lightning powers? The one you speak to with your mind and call a nickname permanently?”
Xaden: “I do only have the one girlfriend. Kinda offended you’d think otherwise.”
Rhys: *signs a paper* “Adopted. The rebellion thing is handled. Me and your aunts and uncles have got this. Your new mom is going to need some time to add you and your mate to the family portrait gallery. Your bedroom is upstairs, knives are in the training ring, family dinner is every Thursday, your allowance is infinity and your curfew is never.”
Xaden: “I am…. Older than your wife?”
Rhys: “Did I fucking stutter?”
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Loki: ...Something's off.
Valkyrie: Maybe you've finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.
Loki: No, but that's funny.
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Valkyrie: Are they always like this?
[Kamala, America, Kate & Yelena staring intensely]
Carol: No, actually, yes, but they’re really excited to meet you—
Kamala: OHH CAROL HAS A GIRLFRIEND!
Kamala, whispering: And she’s gonna be our other mom.
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Mary: Why aren't there friend pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends, like-
Mary, to Lily: Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual.
Marlene, to Lily: Be my friend, or I'll set your entire family on fire.
Lily: There are two types of people.
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Record of Ragnarok x Reader but It's Tik Tok Audios (pt 3)
You: Father...Am I ugly?
Adam, as he hugs you: What nonsense. I'm looking at you right now, you're the most beautiful person in the heavens♡
Loki: Uncle, am I ugly?
Odin: Yes, very much.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You, texting someone: I don't know what to say.
Brunhilde: Here let me do it.
You:...Don't be mean about it, though.
Brunhilde: *deletes paragraph*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Au where (Y/n) is Poseidon's equally moody and emo child
You: WHEN DID YOU SUDDENLY BECOME UNCOOL!?
Poseidon: WHEN DID YOU START ACTING LIKE A LITTLE BABY WHO SCREAMS AT ME WHENEVER THEY DON'T GET WHAT THEY WANT!?
You: RIGHT AFTER YOU DON'T GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Raiden: You can't run around like a footless chicken.
You: HEADLESS chicken, big guy.
Raiden: Uh, NO! How's a chicken supposed to run without its head!?
You: How's it supposed to run with no feet?
Raiden: I'M NOT A CHICKEN, (Y/N), WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS!?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zeus: SOMEOME SHOULD PUT YOU IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL!
You: SOMEONE SHOULD PUT YOU IN A BOX FLOATING DOWN THE RIVER, G R A N D P A
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You, a new diety: So, what do you guys do for fun around here?
Loki: I dunno, I usually just throw shit at Shiva now.
You: Whose Shiva?
Loki, throwing a water bottle: YO SHIVA!
Shiva, whose STILL RECOVERING FROM R A I D E N: Yeah- *gets hit*
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Every Nora Adventure
Nora: Are you in... or you out?
Jaune: In or out of what?
Nora: Nop, no time for questions, just action. In or out?
Jaune: Ok, then I'm out.
Nora: Hmm... I'm sorry Jaune, actually you're already in.
Jaune: Wha?! Then why would you ask me?
Nora: Because I thought you would go " I'm In Nora!", and we would had a really cool moment. But you kind of ruin it.
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