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#unrealistic
dec2007 · 2 days
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💧💧💧
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spirk-trek · 3 months
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i don't think you understand how much i love pretty!kirk, who is so pretty in fact that when they go on shore leave in the city everyone of every gender and species is just doing double takes because they're drawn to his open pretty smile and glittering eyes and long eyelashes and perfect curl of perfect hair on his forehead, and when he goes into a bar it only takes one second for his drink to be bought and paid for, and he's a little bit oblivious, doesn't even realize how pretty he is, so pretty spock's heart literally stops in his side sometimes even though he's desensitized himself to the USUAL level of ✨pretty✨ after years of practice, but all it takes is jim's hair to be a little wet or for him to laugh a little too hard and it's like this dazzling beam of light that slices through the whole world because he's so pretty
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thatdumbgoth · 9 days
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If this post gets to 1k notes I'll ask my teachers to use preferred pronouns at my school next year
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bo0bydrake · 8 months
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UHM where are all the students shipping the crap out of mr ajayi and mr farouk?? two single teachers chaperoning a schooltrip and sharing a room should end in at least 4 fanedits and a notesapp slash fanfic written on the bus.
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hel7l7 · 2 months
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I want to be good, I want to be perfect
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starofhisheart · 11 months
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My only criticism of the dnd movie was that the paladin and the bard didn't fuck
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sayorithot · 8 months
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tonight's kinda Extreme fantasy:
me and a big guy are both holding. he is probably doing it for some prize, not the enjoyment of the thing, so he's confident but mildly frustrated. then he spots me. we're both holding the same amount, but because I have such a smaller frame, it's showing so much more on me. at first he doesn't understand, getting annoyed because I seem to not be reacting with such a fuller bladder, but when I explain best I can what's happening, he stops and gets a lil jealous bc I have smth that's helping me hold better
later, after the contest or whatever is over, he finds and grabs me, shoving me onto his cock and under his belly with a laugh, saying he's been wanting to do this a while... and then unleashes a torrent of piss in my already strained guts, doubling the size of my belly in moments while I yell. but basically, it's breaking my brain, especially since I haven't gotten to pee yet. his huge cock in my ass blocks the way for me to properly piss. so I'm sitting there, brain breaking with every moment I'm full of BOTH of our piss, and he shoves me deeper on his cock, tucks me into his pants, and walks away with my awkward bulge showing. he's going to enjoy having a little human toilet he can release in every time he likes, especially as I start moaning and squirming as my brain finally breaks and accepts my new role in life.
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willietheplaidjacket · 3 months
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Oh no, it's Alan Wake's hot evil doppleganger. Whatever will I do. Better not get distracted and let him choke me.
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theriu · 4 months
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People who draw superheroes in super skintight outfits that show off every contour of their muscles and butts suggest that they (the artists) do not understand how fabric works or how uncomfortable it would be to have a permanent pants wedgie.
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destruction1999x · 5 months
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escuerzoresucitado · 11 months
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dec2007 · 14 hours
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no body and nothing
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swiftfiles · 4 months
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do u think fbi interns used to go to the fbi basement to hookup in the early 90s and then get startled by mulder lurking in there
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Great apes as styled by Lisa Frank 💕
The gibbon one was too cursed to post.
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gusherguy · 8 months
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trashy self-indulgent hyper vom scenario
on the way to the bathroom his body kept making anticipatory little gags. "kk-urrp. hk-- urrrp." his empty gags clicked in his throat before he burped quickly. jaxon shut his door and put a hand on his big, jiggling belly. "Finally, i can let loose." he sighed. just thinking that made a gurgle begin in his guts. jaxon smiled and undid his jeans so that his giant belly could flop free.
and flop it did, the entire enormous water-balloon-like mass of it. jaxon kept rubbing his gut, feeling it churn and hitch and prepare to spew. he kneaded both of his fists into his bloated middle. it always felt good to let it all come back up, but jaxon could so rarely actually do so. what with his hyper stomach, really letting loose anywhere but safely at home was risking drowning somebody!
"urhhhkl. hrrrgllh." his shoulders went up and his belly went down. he shivered. vomit felt like it was bobbing up and down his throat, never quite coming out. he heaved harder. he wanted to spew. he wanted to let his stomach erupt like a volcano. "hhruuuUUURRRLK!" he finally felt the gushing chunks burst from his lips. "ohhhmnnn… hhwuOUUURRRP!!! HRRWOUUURGLHHH!" jaxon's cheeks puffed out three times as large from the huge load of warm puke rushing to escape.
"HGLOURRGHH!! HGLLLOURRRGH!!" his tummy had been holding back for so long. keeping his gut full of rancid puke that only got worse with time. it felt like heaven to let it all come rushing out. all those nasty hot chunks of food he couldn't even remember eating. "HGLOURRRGHH! uurrpppplllhghh….hRRRUUPPPLLHH!!" it was all over his floor now, and he was just getting started.
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jaxon leaned against the wall as he took a few deep breaths between bouts. his cheeks kept puffing out with empty belches. "bwuaaarkk…..bwraaap. Ughhhh, ooohnn. Bwuaaarrppp…..bwuh! BUALLLGHHH!" he vomited, holding onto the heave for almost 30 seconds. it made his head swim. puke dripped from his nose as he realized it was starting to flood around him now. his huge gut churned productively as he doubled over and let it all out. "hglOURRRGHH!!!"
the warm, sweet-vinegar smell of vomit was permeating the room. it signaled Jaxon's brain to keep getting sick, more and more. "hrk- gghhrllrlrlghghhrglg!!" he gurgled up an oatmeal-thick load of barf that stuck in his throat. He spat it out and already more was coming up. "hwOUURRLGHHH!" he almost choked on it as his eyes crossed, urgently coughing to get it out. it was bitter and heavy. he'd worked through the easier more liquid vomit and now deeper in his guts, the thick and nasty stuff wanted out.
"i really needed this," jaxon thought as he barfed down his chest some more. "today at work pam was eating tuna salad again, and the smell always makes me nauseous. it took everything i had not to vomit right there!" as if making up for lost time, his gut spewed up more failed food with violent gusto. "hhruuuUUURRRLK!" chunks of brown and white and gray painted his walls and the floor sloshed with a couple inches deep of stringy, oozy bile. "oourrghh, my belly really wanted that out!"
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hel7l7 · 7 months
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Sorry but why is dating literally the worst
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