#unless i die of skin cancer in this life which is honestly a too-serious fear for me ahahahahah anyway

[britneyshakespeare]

when i was younger people used to tell me “you’re really going to love your red hair someday”—mostly unsolicited, because i never actually hated my hair, and i did have self-image issues but it was never about my hair, in fact that was the one thing i always received compliments on—people just see a redheaded little girl and decide they’ve got some words of wisdom to outsmart those bullies that are all making fun of me because im chubby and socially awkward, not so much the hair thing, but anyway.

as an adult i really do like having red hair. not because i find it beautiful. i was neutral about its beauty when i was a kid and i still am. i dont really want to be beautiful anyway, bc i dont want to be noticed and looked at and judged by my appearance, beautiful or otherwise. i dont consent to that. but because i exist as a woman people make that mental appraisal of me before they hear anything from me about it.

but as i was saying. being a redhead is nice because it has distinction. it’s not an unheard-of trait, but it's still a genetic rarity. it’s not unnatural but it is a little odd. that’s pretty much the way i feel about myself. i am not unnatural but i am a little odd. if i were in charge of the choice i’d be a redhead in the next life as well.

#unless i die of skin cancer in this life which is honestly a too-serious fear for me ahahahahah anyway #im metaphysically a redhead. it suits me. #also if i were famous id have beef w bella thorne just because #id be like im the better redhead...... pull up #anyway the problem w capitalism is that she has published a book of poetry and i havent #tales from diana #ive just wanted to post this rant ive had it stuck in my head for a few weeks now #im just obsessed w the fact that i can draw a little stick figure and put red hair on it and it looks more like me than #a brunette who draws a little stick figure and puts brown hair on it. #it has distinction! it's not special. it's not superior. it's not really anything except it's just a little bit different. it's distinct. #altho since i was a theater kid obsessed w old hollywood i have always wanted to have some phase in my adult life where i go bleach blonde #to see if i really do have more fun #i always figured thatd be in my mid 20s or smth #i also didnt wanna do it while my grandmother was alive bc me and kaily were her only redheaded children/grandchildren #out of 28 descendants. and my grandfather had red hair so we were like the ones she had been waiting for (we were the last born too) #and my grandmother died a few months ago but that doesnt mean i wanna... ya know... mourn that way. i want it to be unrelated to her. #wanna go through a really weird life stage that prompts me to finally do the thing

[wrath-and-regret-blog]

VERY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. ( FOR KALADIN )

RULES. repost; do not reblog! tag 10! good luck!

TAGGED BY: @luck-crowned

TAGGING: You.

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Kaladin “Stormblessed”

NICKNAME/S: ‘Stormblessed’ (for his ‘luck’), ‘Kal’ (A nickname he used when he was younger, mostly by Tien, because his full name sounded like the name of a lighteyes and it set him apart from the other children even more.), ‘Bridgeboy’ (Adolin only)

AGE: 20 (Rosharan years)/approximately 22 (Earth equivalent) [as of the end of WoR]

BIRTHDAY: sometime in the year 1154

ETHNIC GROUP: Alethi

NATIONALITY: Alethi

LANGUAGE/S: Alethi

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Demisexual, completely oblivious. He’s sO STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO FEELINGS/ATTRACTION, SO STUPID WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS BOY???

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Same as above. Trust is extremely important in both of these situations. Trust is everything when dealing with Kaladin in any situation, but especially in romantic/ sexual ones.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: [verse dependent] He’s single in most verses, but there is a lovely, wonderful verse in which he and Adolin are a thing.

CLASS: 2nd nahn by birth (2nd highest darkeyed rank), sas nahn after being branded a slave, 4th dahn militarily (a rank, usually for lighteyes, for those who command a battalion and/or those who are shardbearers. Granted to him from his rank as captain and officially after becoming a shardbearer.

HOMETOWN / AREA: Raised in the town of Hearthstone, within Sadeas’ Princedom in Alethkar.

CURRENT HOME: Verse dependant, but mostly, The Shattered Plains, in Dalinar Kholin’s warcamp after being made captain. 

PROFESSION: A soldier, a captain, a radiant, a bridgeman, a surgeon, it really depends on who you ask, but if you ask him, he’ll maintain that he is all of these things and he always will be. Those pieces make up who he has become. He’s never just one of them without the others.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: long, thick curls of deep Alethi black. Soft to the touch but easily tangled or otherwise disheviled. usually pulled back into a tail and tied in place with a black chord. His bangs are long enough to almost completely cover the slave brands on his forehead. Looks lovely when washed and brushed properly. (would also look very nice with sapphires in it. *Side-eyes Jay*)

EYES: Originally a dark, warm brown with flecks of hazel throughout the iris. Unnoticable from a distance but clear to see up close. When accessing his Radiant abilities, his eyes blaze a bright, piercing azure and remain that color until some time after his stormlight has been exhausted. They then begin to fade back to their natural color unless fed more stormlight. Almond-shaped eyes with an epicanthic fold, thick dark eyelashes, and lines from years of exhaustion and grief that tend to offset how young he really is. His eyes are often lined in kohl, like many Alethi soldiers stationed on the Plains.

NOSE: A rather straight nose with a pointed tip. The bridge is more of a slope than a bump and most of his facial freckles are concentrated across it, spreading from cheek to cheek in a dense constellation of dark flecks on his skin.

FACE: An angular, square face-shape with a strong chin and jaw. has been referred to as a ‘leader’s face’. Absolutely covered in freckles, as is the rest of his body. Usually all hard lines and sharp angles but can sometimes soften when looking upon someone he cares about. His eyes are his most expressive feature.

LIPS: Full, somewhere between rough and soft, warm to the touch, and coated with a light sprinkling of his freckles. They aren’t as dark on the thinner skin, but they are still there.

COMPLEXION: A dark brown Alethi tan. Darker than most Alethi, due to all his time spent in the sun. Freckles everywhere. Everywhere.

BLEMISHES: Many scars, most notably some very large ones on his chest and shoulders from his time running bridges. Also, plenty on his back from his time as a slave. Then, of course, there are the brands on his forehead.

TATTOOS: None

HEIGHT: 6’9″

WEIGHT: I’m so terrible at these??? How much does a muscular yet kinda beanpolish 6′9″ man weight???

BUILD: Veeeery tall. Long powerful legs leading up to pronounced hipbones. Solid abdominal muscles set into a flat stomach. A strong chest attatched to broad shoulders. All in all, he’s lean muscle and hard lines, like he’s been carved from the stone itself.

ALLERGIES: Nothing native to Roshar, but most likely MANY things from other worlds. Since they don’t exist on Roshar, his body hasn’t been designed to handle them.

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: As Guard Captain, he keeps his long hair tied into a high ponytail and keeps his face clean-shaven. As a bridgman, he kept it in a low ponytail and eventually shaved the beard he’d grown as a slave. 

USUAL EXPRESSION: Usually stern and serious. Often with a mouth set into a grim frown or a hard-edged look of determination in his eyes. Regardless, he usually sports a stoic expression or one of gloom. Occassionally, on a magically slim chance, he’ll smile and it is truly radiant.

USUAL CLOTHING: His Cobalt Guard Captain’s uniform.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: failure; powerlessness; watching those he loves die while he’s too weak to help

ASPIRATION/S: To protect everyone that he possibly can. To live the kind of life that Tien would have been proud of.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Protective; Dedicated; Willing to give his all for someone; A natural leader; Caring, loving; Driven to do what is right

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reckless, does not value his own life, unable to accept that he can’t save everyone, prone to deep despair, fAR TOO GENTLE-HEARTED FOR WAR WHY IS HE A SOLDIER SANDERSON WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO HIM

MBTI: INFJ - The Advocate

ENNEAGRAM: Type 6 - The Loyalist

ZODIAC: Scorpio (sun) - Cancer (moon)

TAROT: Strength. Absolutely Strength.

TEMPERAMENT: Melancholic

SOUL TYPE/S: On the quiz it’s Caregiver, almost tied with Leader. Off the quiz, I’d say Warrior 

ANIMAL: He got Wild Dog on the test

VICE/S: Despair, apathy, and a tendency to believe himself to be cursed, all of which make up a mindset he refers to as ‘The Wretch’. This mindset has driven him to nearly attempt suicide. He also gets attached to people far too easily.

FAITH: Agnostic. Though raised in a Vorin society, he, himself, is uninterested.

GHOSTS?: He doesn’t believe in them, per say, but at times, he’s considered the possibility.

AFTERLIFE?: He wonders sometimes, hoping that if his loved ones are in some kind of life after death, that they’re happy. 

REINCARNATION?: No

ALIENS?: He’d merely shrug. “Anything is possible, for all I know,” He’d say.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: As it stands, the Kholins have his loyalty. He stands with them, so long as it is right.

ECONOMIC PREFERENCE: He’s very good at budgeting himself, knowing how much to spend on the supplies he needs and how much to keep on hand. Frivilous buying does not exist for Kaladin. He’s never been in the financial position where that would be appropriate, and now, he uses spheres more for Stormlight than for money.

SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION: Having suffered at the hands of the lighteyes for all his life, ( his family torn apart; his loved ones murdered; being enslaved; his trust broken again and again, ) he finds it difficult to see beyond his experience. He has a deep distrust of the lighteyes, including the Kholin’s, before Dalinar bought his freedom with his shardblade. Now, he’s fiercely loyal to them; though he knows they aren’t all innocent, he still sees the good in them and chooses to protect them.

EDUCATION LEVEL: Somewhat high for a darkeyes, having learned from his father for the most part. It was mostly medical education, not necessarily academic in general. But, as an apprentice surgeon, he learned his trade well.

FAMILY.

FATHER: Lirin - (A surgeon who risked it all to try and give me a better life...which I threw away any chance of. His words still reach me, even now)

MOTHER: Hesina - ( The best mother I could have asked for. She gave me my stubborness...and my hair. I’ll never forgive myself for failing her. )

EXTENDED FAMILY: Tien ( Where can I even begin? My brother...my dearest friend. The only one who could ever lift my mood as easily as smiling. You were smiling then, the last time I saw you. I told you that I would protect you for those four years and then bring you home...I couldn’t even do it for four months. I’m so sorry...I miss you every day. Every day that passes, something happens that I wish I could tell you about. I’ve seen so many rocks out here, Tien...I think you would have liked them. Without you here, they all just look the same to me. )

SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S): None, currently.

NAME MEANING/S: “Kaladin” means “born unto eternity”.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION: I mean, he’s a Radient? That’s a pretty big historical connection.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: He doesn’t read and doesn’t hold much interest in being read to.

MOVIE: Honestly, in his modern verse, he doesn’t even own a tv? The only movies he’d ever see would be at someone else’s house or if someone took him to the movies. He’d enjoy action movies with well coreographed fight scenes and the occassional Drama if it’s good.

DEITY: He got Poseidon. Since he’s called the ‘Stormbringer’, I can see why. Qualities listed are:  Pride, loyalty, devotion, reason, leadership, humor, unpredictability, rage

MONTH: No preference. 

SEASON: Spring or Autumn

PLACE: Oh. Umm....he really hasn’t...got one? Not a specific place anyway. If he had to choose. He’d say his favorite place is around the fire with Bridge 4.

WEATHER: not overwhelmingly sunny, but also not storming? Kind of overcast and chilly, though he hates the constant drizzle of the Weeping. He likes windy days the best.

SOUND: He likes the sound of the wind, whether it’s blustering hard or it’s just a faint breeze. Everything it does makes a different sound. He likes the sound it makes when it whistles through the trees or when it rustles his hair.

SCENT/S: He didn’t have one for a very long time, but now, he’s grown attached to the smell of the stew that Rock cooks for dinner.

TASTE/S: He’ll eat pretty much anything he can get, because he hasn’t kicked the mentality of ‘this might be my only meal today’ yet. He doesn’t think he ever really will. But anything eaten with his loved ones tastes much better than if he eats it alone.

FEEL/S: the weight of a spear in his hands; that surging, freeing energy that whirls and rages within him when he inhales stormlight; The feeling of having a clean-shaven face; the heavy fabric of his uniform; the Kholin cloak that was given to him after that final bridgerun.

ANIMAL/S: He enjoys skyeels, from a distance, and thinks that axehounds are...alright. He doesn’t trust horses at all. All in all, he isn’t very good with animals.

NUMBER: I have noooo idea...

COLOR: He likes blues and other cooler colors the best. Officially can’t stand the color brown, thanks to his time running bridges. Everything was brown.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: He’s excellent with a spear and is also an inspiring leader. He is able to command attention and respect by leading through example. He’s quite graceful as well, and could possibly be a good dancer if he wanted to learn. However, without any knowledge of how to dance, he just sticks to spear kata.

BAD AT: Knowing when to care and when to accept that nothing can be done. ( HE CARES TOO MUCH. ) Taking care of himself, expressing his feelings, letting go of his past.

TURN-ONS: Trust, understanding, respect, passion, confidence (Also arrogance? for some reason?), being valued

TURN-OFFS: Degradation, being told he’s ‘not worth it’, classist Alethi bullshit, selfishness

HOBBIES: Training (Himself and his men), spending time with Syl and his bridge crew. He’s really not much for hobbies but he does enjoy climbing up to high places.

TROPES: Broken Ace, The Captain, Chronic Hero Syndrome, Combat Medic, Driven to Suicide (almost), Failure Knight, Guardian Angel, Honor Before Reason, Survivor Guilt, Gravity Master, Handicapped Badass (Mentally rather than physically, since he suffers from severe clinical depression, even before developing his survivor’s guilt.)

AESTHETIC TAGS: ;Aesthetic ( KALADIN )

#;Muse ( KALADIN ) #I DID IT. #TWO DOWN ONE TO GO