#unhealthy behavior. and yes. even minorities with valid criticisms have done this

[mbtiofwhys]

Some serious talk about MBTI

Debunking common myths and critics while understanding real flaws and how to move past them

Disclaimer

Our vision regarding the use of MBTI, and typology in general, is profoundly different from what the Foundation promotes and advertises;

Our knowledge comes either from directly studying Jung’s works or from browsing more grassroots sources, such as blogs here on Tumblr or discussions on Reddit;

We opened this blog for fun because we’re passionate about typology and its application to both introspection and fictional works analysis;

We don’t intend to turn down every form of criticism, but without the pretense to be 100% correct, we rather wish to see what are real weak points and what may be legit observations if not born from a misunderstanding of the system;

This is our personal view and opinion on MBTI, feel free to join the debate!

Main concerns

Not scientifically sound

Not supported by the psychology academic field / It’s just pseudo-science It’s true that typology can’t be proven by the current scientific method - it’s too much of a subjective topic. There’s a reason why both Freud’s and Jung’s works are studied as the beginning of psychoanalysis but their practice isn’t used by modern psychology anymore. But admitting that MBTI isn’t scientifically sound doesn’t mean it’s entirely unreliable. The E/I dichotomy is, for example, something based on our chemicals and neurotransmitters in the brain, so it has a solid basis and it may be helpful outside the MBTI context. (source: 1, 2) The key point, we believe, is shifting the view: we prefer not to consider the Indicator as a pure psychological tool, rather a more philosophical one. MBTI is, at least for us mods, a method: we always try to improve our understanding of the subject, but it isn’t restricted to the theoretical field, since we also apply it in typing fictional characters. So, there’s a theoretical basis to know and personal study is encouraged, but it’s definitely nothing scientific as we intend it nowadays.

Tests aren’t accurate

We know - we talked about it here. Approaching MBTI solely by tests generates huge misunderstandings about what typology is really about. More specifically:

You can get different results by retaking the test It’s due to the flawed essence of a test assessing personality traits, and it’s exacerbated by tests having a general focus more on behavior than cognition. This is usually about generic questions that may be too vague since online tests try to be relatable to a large set of people from different countries and cultures.

Forer effect/ vague descriptions We know about the Forer effect and we’ve read the profiles used in his experiments: they’re nothing like detailed, in-depth profile and analysis of each type, or even basic ones, if done properly. Take a look at mbtinotes for an example of how different (if not opposite) descriptions are for different (or opposite) types. Even in a basic form, they’re not vague enough for a person to relate to more than three or four of them at most. So, it’s true that MBTI has, in some cases, a ‘pop’ approach aimed to be understandable and clear for everyone, and this is counterproductive in the end. But the flaw lays in how it is conveyed: inaccurate tests don’t invalidate the method as a whole. 

It’s just a quiz/ it’s just like horoscopes The tests that bloom through the internet sadly validate the first point, as the majority of people answer the questions, read the type description, and then forget about it. But we firmly believe it’s nothing like the horoscopes. MBTI, if approached seriously, doesn’t have the pretense of predicting the future or explaining a person’s whole life, since it isn’t even an excuse for someone’s behaviors. It is true that many topics can be found about relationship pairs and career advice, but we tend to be skeptical towards those, and it’s not an approach we believe fit our vision of MBTI as a tool for self reflection. Type theory can give some insights on relationship dynamics in general (not only romantic ones) but this doesn’t mean it can predict the future or something along those lines.

Types are just stereotypes

They could be, depending on the interpretation. People are complex, they’re made of experiences, upbringing, hobbies, and so much more - personality is nothing more than a trait of someone’s individuality. One could say that people are not their type, rather they are somehow represented by it.

Putting something complex like personality into boxes People don’t know about cognitive functions based on Jung’s studies. Typology isn’t concerned about such things as hobbies or upbringing because - following Jung’s approach, at least - cognitive functions are innate and universal and determine one’s cognition. Meaning they can explain what information we prefer to look at, how we gather data, what we weight in making decisions. It’s all about the process - but the outcome and the individuality of a person, that’s on each one of us. This is also why tests are often inaccurate: they make examples based on careers, hobbies, and behaviors, leading MBTI enthusiasts to approach the subject as something more superficial than it actually is. However, the theory has its valid points, even if not always approved by academics, but it’s usually studied by a minority of people since (and it’s understandable, we aren’t judging) it requires time and effort to go deeper into the subject.

16 types are too few The four letters have meaning. Dichotomies exist, but they only work on a superficial level. In reality, the four functions are rather a continuum: they develop throughout a person’s entire life and work in pairs, three at a time, or even all fours together. The whole system is much more complex than people give it credit for by merely taking a test. And anyway, a person is much more than just their four letters. As we stated above it’s ok to stop on a more superficial level, but this mustn’t be used as an excuse to forget about cognitive functions and how they describe in a more detailed way how people gather and use information through cognitive patterns.

Personality changes over time It does because we change. But this doesn’t affect functions. What people call ‘change’ is tied to growing into a (hopefully) better person as life goes on, learning from one’s own mistakes, and thus becoming a more aware and balanced individual. However, the way in which a person gathers data and uses them doesn’t change, it’s more a process about enhancing our strengths and polishing our weaknesses. This, either, doesn’t mean a person’s fate is dictated by which functions they possess: this is a rather unhealthy approach to typology. Excluding circumstantial factors that sadly play a role in the real world (wealth, gender, geographic origin, and so on), idealistically a person could do everything in his life, despite type and whatnot. Maybe some things will be more difficult, or easier, but since we are more than our type, other factors come into play: how we’ve been raised, what we like, what ideals we have, who we are, globally, as a person. The list goes on.

MBTI is a form of discrimination

This can be true - but not for us. MBTI is a tool: what you do with it, it’s on your own. Stating that sadly, there are people who use MBTI as a form of discrimination doesn’t invalidate the subject.

Used in corporate settings, but not by psychologists We personally disapprove and discourage the use of MBTI to dictate people’s work and life. We don’t like how the Foundation promotes it for commercial purposes exactly because it is not a scientific nor a statistical tool. A person is more than four letters. Choosing a career based on an (often) inaccurate test is not advised, but understanding how our own cognition works may be useful to become a better person. Again, behaviors aren’t cognition.

Our personal dos and don’ts with MBTI

Do

Take it as a tool to promote introspection and self-reflection, but only after a proper study of the subject. We don’t recommend to use MBTI as a theory to dictate one’s career, but it’s still an interesting way to better understand oneself. Without falling into confirmation biases, MBTI may be a great way to become more aware of one’s own qualities and flaws, learning how to live in a more healthy and functional way.

Use it as a framework to dissect fictional works (very satisfying!)

Use it for meme material. Yes, memes have great potential and may light up your day!

Think of it as a pair of lenses: you can see reality through it and gain some nice insights but in the end, reality will always be so much more than what you can experience by only using a single pair of lenses.

Don’t

Use it as a replacement for professional help - both physically and mentally. Mental illnesses are unrelated to MBTI, so using the subject to validate them or deal with them may be harmful. MBTI is a great tool to better understand one’s strengths and weaknesses, not a replacement for proper treatment. There is no shame in being in need of help and we encourage you to seek it if necessary.

Use it to discriminate against other individuals - cognition doesn’t know gender, wealth, ethnicity, or education. There isn’t a better type, even if the community sometimes romanticizes certain ones. You are valid, no matter what a test says about you or what the community thinks.

Try to gain profit from it.

Use it to justify whatever behavior or decision you make in your life. Cognitive functions may help you to discover your patterns and how you act, but they can’t dictate what you can or can’t do.

Thank you for reading this article until the end. All of this is our personal view on the subject, so further discussion and contributions are encouraged and appreciated! If you are a beginner and wish to delve deeper into the subject, we’re not an educational blog, perperly, but here you can find a quick beginner’s guide.

Sources: Addressing typology and criticism; On the book ‘Personality Brokers’; The test is meaningless; How accurate is the test?; The test is unscentific; A popular but flawed understanding of personality.

#mbti #myers briggs #PersonalityTypes #Psychological Types #typology #criticism #stereotypes #articles #personality test #personality type #Personality Theory #mbti personality #debunking #introspection

[dnfshmeeneff]

people on twitter really can’t handle being told they’re wrong, huh

#cw negativity #they heard bbh say 'minorities' feelings don't matter don't hold cc's accountable' #when what he was actually saying was 'don't harass cc's and you do not get to control who they are friends with' #the problem is some young people on twitter don't know how to hold a cc accountable without it turning into harassment or otherwise #unhealthy behavior. and yes. even minorities with valid criticisms have done this #because they're all literally a bunch of teenagers #it's very frustrating to see the anti-blackness and dismissive attitude of some in the fandom #but it's just as frustrating to see it handled badly by the minorities effected #why is it so hard for people to explain/educate without being so aggressive?? without causing kid cc's mental distress?? #i'm not even subbed to tommy and i only occasionally watch his content #but i say what was said about him on twitter #*saw #not only recently but over the past few months #disgusting #that's not how you educate cc's

[crayfish-critical]

I'm honestly super glad your blog isn't purely SU critical tbh, because at least blogs like this don't have an obvious bias towards one show and they act completely stricter on one show compared to the other. While I personally casually enjoy Voltron and BNHA (I do agree there's issues with how both treat some of their characters), and love SU, your points are extremely valid and you give good reasoning behind them besides reaching for subtext that can be interpreted in many different ways.

Aw gosh thank you anon, this honestly means a lot to me!  My goal is to be fair to most of the media I criticize.  To be honest, I probably criticize Voltron about as much as SU (and then BNHA more since I have such strong opinions on pedophilia) and I really think both of them are good shows.  I just like to scream, but I also like being fair about it!

Criticism whose goal isn’t to positively influence the original media’s creator or positively influence others is ultimately worthless imho; like hey, free country, you can say what you want about it.  As an aspiring cartoon/kids show creator, I learn from criticizing the shows of others and put their mistakes as something I can learn from.  I’ve honestly learned a lot about pacing, story structure, and character building from my problems with both SU and Voltron, and they’ve helped me sort out what does and doesn’t make a good story since some parts of them are so good and other parts aren’t.  Honestly it’s kinda embarrassing to look back on my original story now, having learned everything from SU and Voltron - but hey, that’s alright!  I’m far, far from above the writers of either of those shows, yknow?  I don’t think they’re bad people or bad writers; at worse they have a skill level similar to me.

I’ve also first-handedly put the pieces together of a show that became a mess for seemingly no reason, realizing that there was a reason and it was basically unavoidable.  There was a sitcom I watched that’s overarching love triangle bullshit became an absolute goddamn nightmare of a mess (sprinkled in between with various weak episodes that didn’t even reference the drama).  But, when you put together that a major reoccurring character would have likely been part of that plot since the beginning (as opposed to just being in the very end), whose actor got into a serious accident around the time when the episodes would’ve been filmed, the original intention of the arc makes a lot more sense.  Like seriously, once you watch the episodes with that knowledge, the pieces fit in perfectly.  The show was a horrible victim of circumstance and I just hope all the actors and writers have a good rest of their lives.

Point being, you never know what’s going on behind the scenes of a show, so I think it’s unfair to act like minor plot holes and weird pacing are some moral failing of the writers.  Yes, it’s their job to write a good story, and yes, you have a right to dislike their writing.  But it shouldn’t be seen as such a crime??

The crewniverse has made mistakes, like the Concrete incident, but they’ve tried to fix issues that they’ve caused.  Quite frankly, racism is the only argument in SU that I can’t defend them against; not only is it not my place, but it’s hardly revolutionary like their LGBT representation.  As a dumbass white person, I can tell you that Rebecca and her clue is probably more clueless than the SU critical community realizes (if you don’t live in SoCal, you don’t know how sheltered us middle-class white folks are) but that doesn’t make it okay.

However, everything else I find to be rather shit.  As a fat person, Steven becoming “thinner” isn’t fatphobia; the art style changed.  Rebecca is a BISEXUAL NONBINARY WOMAN, and I will literally never forgive the SU critical community for their insistence that her nonbinary rep is enbyphobic (bc they “present as women” and “go by she/her pronouns” and “sure stevonnie goes by they/them but they act like nonbinary is just male + female and its not” and “either way they don’t call themselves nonbinary in the canon” even though nonbinary people can present and go by whatever pronouns they want, bigender people exist, and the only valid point is the last one but its still fucking stupidly insignificant.  Like Korra and Asami didn’t call themselves bisexual [ok scratch that korra called herself “buy-curious”] but they’re still bisexual.).  And yeah, “lgbt people can fetishize other parts of the lgbt community” but do you know how hard it is for a bisexual woman to fetishize lesbians?  It’s.  Pretty fucking hard, considering she’s a wlw.  She can be lesbophobic but when you have one (1) “predatory lesbian stereotype” out of a cast of different types of lesbians, maybe you should uhhh stop policing how lgbt people are allowed to act?  There’s a big difference between a predatory lesbian stereotype and a lesbian who happens to be predatory (and pearl isn’t a predator anyways, she’s an abuse victim - that doesn’t excuse her behavior but I digress)

god I dunno, there’s just so much stupid shit that goes on in SU critical, which is a shame because it’s an idea with a lot of promise.  Really, the SU critical community developed because fans didn’t like having negativity towards something they cared about on their dash.  But since it became an isolated pocket of everything negative towards SU, it just festered and festered and what started as simple criticisms has turned into outright hatred and malice.

Personally, I hope that SU’s portrayal of LGBT people becomes outdated some day - it’s really not that bad and I think even if we make great strives in the next decades, it’ll still be able to hold its own, but as an lgbt person I think Rebecca would agree with me that only good things can come from kids shows being better than SU.  But for now, it’s far far ahead of anything else in its time, showing LGBT people as real people (or….aliens), as flawed individuals.  It doesn’t make them particularly evil nor does it make them particularly good.  They’re characters who happen to be their sexuality, and that’s alright, and that’s normal.  And that should be celebrated.  People should be allowed to celebrate what SU has done so far, and I hate how SU critical likes to shit on fans minding their own goddamn business.

I feel bad for SU critical too, because keeping yourself in that kind of environment becomes very toxic.  I’ve been trying to keep my own opinions under control (actually, that’s part of the reason I made this blog) because I can become very angry and opinionated while typing and I know that that can hurt other people.  But it’s just exhausting and toxic for me at this point to keep doing it too much, so I just write what I can but also try to embrace the positive so I don’t die of a heart attack lmao.  I can’t imagine what running an SU critical blog 24/7 must be like, it sounds absolutely exhausting and immensely unhealthy.

You have the freedom to choose to do that, but as someone who shares some of your opinions and mindsets I advise you to take a break and have things you DO like in the things you critique.  Point out things you like alongside things you dislike.  It’ll make the world so much better for you.

Overall though sorry for rambling anon haha, but thank you for the kind words!

#anon #<3

[datingadviceonreddit]

This almost falls under relationship advice, but truly, you have to apply it at the dating stage in order for it to matter.I’m a serial monogamist. I’ve been in seven major relationships spanning from when I was 18. I’m 30 and currently in what I believe to be the final relationship of my life. I’m happy to commit to her, spend life with her, and so on.Friends and family agree we are perfect for each other. It’s been pretty fucking cool.It’s tough to admit the patterns of self-victimization that I’ve been a part of. Friends and family are always skeptical of the quality of my relationships, often outright telling me that certain behaviors my partner’s have shown are abusive or unacceptable. We’d eventually break up, I’d meet someone new, and repeat at least one piece of my relationship pattern.I’ve done my best to reflect on, target, and dispose of all the behaviors that have made me a human doormat to my female partners. I’ve been unhealthy for them as well. I truly believe it has little to do with selection.Sure, a man can choose a partner who is narcissistic and outright physically abusive. These rare cases are the exception. Most women aren’t crazy or ‘emotional.’ Their capable and loving; they’re also human and open to behavioral conditioning. We all are.Here are three of the things I learned to stop doing. Once I relieved myself of each behavior, I offered a better path for my partner to treat me how I feel I deserve to be treated. Parts of this may feel obvious. But they weren’t for me, so maybe they’ll help someone else.I Stopped Being Dishonest About My EmotionsBeing honest with myself about when I am angry or sad is huge. My parents did that gaslighting thing where you tell a kid, “you’re fine” or “you have no reason to be upset.”The result was me not trusting my emotions at all. I didn’t think I could be angry. I would, on a timer, become an emotionally sad mess. I would cry to a friend in confidence. Then go back to bottling it up. Recognizing your emotions and emotional health is key.By bottling up your emotions, and being okay when you’re actually bubbling with ire, will show your partner that the things they do are acceptable. Instead, learn to confront your partner in a constructive way.Say things like, “Ooo that kinda stung. Do you think we could talk about why you said that?”Or, “When you eat all my guacamole, it makes me feel emotional. Can we talk about you making more guacamole?”Once I spoke frustrations instead of hiding them, I was able to constructively problem solve, which is now my favorite thing. Letting it out in a reasonable way tends to take a fiery pit of frustration, and tame it into a bit of boiling water. Where you can brew some love tea.You get what I’m trying to say.How To Do ThatI’m still learning but start with being honest with people when they do something that upsets you. Don’t give into your Irish heritage and grin and bear it. Find constructive ways to communicate and criticize to build effective forms of problem solving into your life and emotional issues.In your journal, write about emotional health. It's funny, I’ve had a personal development journal for a decade. Never once did I mentioned a negative emotion in it. Write about when you were angry. Write about whether you did something about it, or if you communicated that minor frustration to the person who you feel trespassed you. Write whether or not you feel it was valid, or if you were actually upset about something else and angry with someone by proxy. These are important.Meditation helps.After you make the changes, you’ll most often be met with empathy rather than frustration. If you’re already in a relationship with bad patterns, be the first one to make a change. Never expect your partner to follow through immediately. Find patience. Be stronger.I Stopped Love Bombing And OvercommittingI always see this mentioned in the narcissist list of evil tools. And yet, I see it all the time in my friends relationships. I think love bombing applies to our instant dating hookup culture in a big way. We allow people to enter our lives and soak up all our time. I think love bombing can happen on accident, or even be a two party event. Be open to there being “Benign occurrences” as explained by psychologist Oliver James.Yes, love bombing is usually coupled with a second behavior and cycles of abuse. Quid pro quo, or sudden negative reinforcement. I don’t consider the kind of outright love/hate/apology sequence the only kind of love bomb a person can drop.Often, I didn’t feel like it was sinister intentions on my behalf. I would run out of steam. I would think, “Hey, I cook a lot. maybe I can focus on my business for a week and they’ll pick up the slack.” They wouldn’t. I showed them that it was my job to cook. And generally they expected me to keep going. Even if I kindly explained the situation, it still leaves your partner feeling like they got a raw deal. You showed them you were capable of x. Now you’re saying you need y.Early on, our partner asks to come over. You fear they won’t like you saying no, and maybe they’ll scroll tinder if the boundaries are unclear. So you say yes. You don’t want them to feel like you didn’t want them over, so you cook a meal. It makes them feel loved. And this is the slow drip of accidental love bombing. Neediness from one person met by insecure performance of another.This behavior commonly left me doing house work, running my business, giving massages, giving gifts and getting next to nothing in return. I’d stick around hoping they’d change. But really, I’d already changed them. I showed them early on the way it would be, they just stuck with the deal.How to Avoid Doing ThisSet lots of time boundaries up front. Never ever cancel a plan for a new relationship. Have the personal security to not over reach early on. Be romantic, but be reasonable with the everyday stuff.Don’t be afraid to ask for things. Ask often. Let them tell you no, and feel no attachment to their rejection. From cooking to a foot rub, ask. And most people like this. People like to feel wanted. The difference between wanted and used is a balance of effort from both parties.Work hard. Bring plenty to the table, and split everything. An American (my culture) woman who is ready to split everything 50/50 with you is a good sign. Even if you want a family where she stays at home, you know she’ll bring a work ethic to the table that motivates you. My current girlfriend took me to sushi and paid for our first date. We hadn’t talked about who was paying and she took the check. We talked about healthy habits, decided super slow was best, and went on a date to a concert two weeks later. I paid. It doesn’t have to be a weird at-the-dinner-table check splitting conversation.Be self aware. Think to yourself, “What am I showing her about me right now?” She gets upset and says something that hurts you, and you rub her back afterwards with no apology. You’re showing her that rudeness gets love. Similarly, don’t be rude or angry and then let her coddle you. You’ll teach yourself to be an asshole.I Stopped Being Halfway Honest About Sex and MonogamyIf you and your partner have different ideas about sexual security, then you’re going to have a bad time. This has a spillover effect into every other thing in your relationship. From fights about money to fights about the kids; it’s so often truthfully about that girl you looked at or that shirt she wore to drinks with her friends.Before my most recent relationship we played a hypothetical game of what if. We talked about every sexual scenario. Dry spells. What she thought constituted cheating, what I think constitutes cheating. We talked about who we thought was attractive and what we think we need. How do we define flirting? How do we define friendships of the opposite sex and what exactly is too far?The craziest part- we were 100% honest.Conversations like these need to happen early and often. Lay a good foundation of understanding. Don’t be shy about your opinions. If you disagree, compromise. If you can’t compromise, move on. Don’t set yourself up for long term failure because you can’t live with her wearing heels to work (or whatever.)Also, if you're like me and quite possibly a little on the spectrum. Create a calendar. Learn when her period is. Set an alarm 14 days before her next period. Then remember to pay attention to her for the next four days. Ovulation is when you need to be most aware of flirtation, and when she be most likely to be frustrated with you for not getting it.Bonus: This Weird Thing HelpedSix months in, we wrote a contract with our views on it and signed it at the bottom.We wrote down who we were. How the other person saw us, and what the expectations of the relationship was for both of us. How would dishes work? How would all bills and budgeting work? Who handles planning, vacations, scheduling, and following up on that Amazon package? It’s all in the contract. Unorthodox. But It’s working.Good Luck Out ThereBe thoughtful. Be loving. Might write follow up, I don’t know. via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit