STAN: Dude what the fuck
STAN: Why didn't you tell me the new kid was a DEMON
STAN: I could've done a WHOLE conspiracy video
STAN: I could've shown the WORLD I'm not crazy!
STAN: You YouTube gatekeeping supreme covered ass muncher!
KYLE: Woah dude
KYLE: Calm down
KYLE: Life isn't just about views
STAN: DON'T YOU KNOW KYLE???
STAN: IT'S ALLLLL ABOUT THE VIEWS
STAN: ALL THAT CRAZY SHANE DAWSON ESC SHIT????
STAN: IT WAS ALL A LIE
STAN: I JUST WANTED ATTENTION
STAN: DID YOU THINK I WAS ACTUALLY SERIOUS????
KYLE: YES????????
CRAIG: STFU
CRAIG: THIS IS LITERALLY NOT MY FAULT
CRAIG: FUCK OFF
STAN: THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN YOUR FAULT, CRAIG
STAN: YOU’RE SUCH A DICK
CRAIG: EVERYDAY I WAKE UP IN FUCKING OHIO
STAN: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN????
STAN: WHATEVER
STAN: THE POINT IS BECAUSE OF YOU THERE'S DEMONS RUNNING ABOUT
STAN: THIS IS GONNA BE THE NEXT PEWDIEPIE VS T SERIES WAR
CRAIG: FUCK YOU DUDE
CRAIG: YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY SUBSCRIBER COUNT
STAN: WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN?!
STAN: YOU DID THIS
STAN: EVERY APOLOGY YOU’VE EVER DONE HAS BEEN SHIT
STAN: THIS IS NO FUCKING DIFFERENT
STAN: YOU KNOW WHAT?
STAN: I DON'T CARE IF YOU BREAK YOUR ELBOW
CRAIG: (gasp)
CRAIG: BITCH
KENNY: Can all of you SHUT. UP.
KENNY: This is NOT the time to be arguing with each other!
KENNY: This is damn near close to a Zombieland type situation!
KENNY: We can’t be causing more problems than we already have!
KENNY: So NO CHANNEL WARS!
KENNY: Got it?
CRAIG: Fiiiiiiine
STAN: Sure.
CLYDE: Tolkien,
CLYDE: hey
CLYDE: Hey
CLYDE: Hey Tolkien
CLYDE: Tolkien
CLYDE: Tolkien
TOLKIEN: What. I'm not talking to you right now
CLYDE: Yeah yeah yeah
CLYDE: Okay
CLYDE: Do you think I could
CLYDE: Do you think
CLYDE: Do you think I could
CLYDE: Do you think I could ask out Tweek?
TOLKIEN: Are you fucking serious?
TOLKIEN: We just broke up.
CLYDE: I know but like
CLYDE: Do you think I could?
TOLKIEN: No, and I hope he rejects your sorry ass
CLYDE: :(
CLYDE: Hhhhhhh my chest hurts
CLYDE: My hands unwashed
KYLE: Fucking ew
CLYDE: My boyfriend left me
CLYDE: Life is pain
CLYDE: …
CLYDE: Guys?
CLYDE: I think I might become emo
CRAIG: Ew
CRAIG: Just when I thought you couldn’t be more cringe
CRAIG: Don't touch me
CRAIG: Gross ass
CLYDE: Fuck you!!! You guys are so mean!!!
CRAIG: Cry bitch <3
CLYDE: (Damn near sobbing)
CRAIG: Boy kisser
KYLE: Guys?
CLYDE: (Full blown crying, fucking bitch)
KYLE: GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CRAIG and CLYDE: WHAT?!?!?!
KYLE: INFLUENCER ALERT!!
CRAIG: OH HELL NAH
STAN: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
CARTMAN: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TOLKIEN: FUCKING BOOK IT
GREGORY: GET BACK HERE YOU-!!
CARTMAN: WHERE'S CANCEL CULTURE WHEN YOU NEED IT?!?!??!?
CRAIG: ONLY IN FUCKING OHIO
STAN AND TOLKIEN: READ THE ROOM CRAIG!!!
STAN: QUICK
STAN: GO TO THAT PRESUMABLY HAUNTED BRIDGE
TOLKIEN: WHY????
STAN: I HAVE SALT
KYLE: WHY'S THAT RELEVANT????
STAN: DON'T YOU KNOW???
STAN: SPIRITS HATE SALT!!!
KYLE: JUST LIKE CLYDE HATES BATHING??
CLYDE: HEY!!!
STAN: EXACTLY
STAN: IF I SPRAY THE BRIDGE IN SALT THEY’LL LEAVE US ALONE
TOLKIEN: WHY DON'T WE JUST PUT SALT ON OURSELVES????
STAN: I DONT HAVE THAT MUCH
KENNY: IGNORE THE STATISTICS LETS GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!
CRAIG: Wait
CRAIG: Hol up
CRAIG: I smell British
PIP: HEY! BITCHES!
STAN: Oh god
STAN: We gotta get rid of the salt
STAN: They know our plan
KYLE: DAMNIT
CRAIG: Not a slay moment
PIP: I know you crusty hoes have salt!
PIP: You think that can repell us demons, imps, etc so easily?
PIP: HAH!
PIP: That's more laughable than Stan's tin foil fuckery!
STAN: FUCK YOU, DUDE!
PIP: I can't hear you! Lalalalalala!
PIP: Now, I think we’re missing the only tolerable person on my team!
PIP: Gregory, could you do the honors?
PIP: OHHH HELL YES
PIP: IT'S PARTY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CRAIG: Lmao literally who?
STAN: Shit
STAN: Kyle help me toss this
KYLE: Okay fine
KYLE: Fuck
TOLKIEN: Ew, what's wrong with his eyes?
TOLKIEN: Why are they uglier?
CLYDE: My my!
CLYDE: How rude!
CLYDE: And don't waste that salt!
CLYDE: It's still a full container!
CLYDE: This boy should really take better care of himself, I mean my word!
CLYDE: There's fecal matter all over his hands!
CLYDE: Not to mention he also hasn’t taken off his binder, nor has he shaved
CLYDE: If you all weren't so hesitant on the idea of us I would have cleaned up this poor lad!
CLYDE: Anyhow, WHY ARE YOU ALL ON THIS BRIDGE????
CLYDE: THERE'S NO SAFETY SIGNS OR ANYTHING!!
CLYDE: You could all fall and hurt yourselves!
CLYDE: Look at how shallow these waters are! Combined with the rocks, I mean REALLY! This is an ER trip waiting to happen
KENNY: What the hell is he saying?
CLYDE: My pronouns are she/her, thank you very much
CLYDE: I believe I've dragged on long enough,
CLYDE: It's so nice to meet all of you!
(Edits made by @pissblanket and @zemoleinyourtrashcan)
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