#understand the situation and remember stuff

[rawliverandcigarettes]

I guess I held onto my secret conspirational thoughts on mass effect for so very long that it's almost too late to bring them out now, but

without ceremony, my secret thoughts on the political logic of the state of mass effect sociopolitical fuckery is that, by the point in time where the trilogy is happening (and before that too obviously), almost everything is the fault of the turian hierarchy.

(excluding reapers of course)

and I shan't elaborate further until the empire of preys is out, but.

it's been my borderline literal pinboard conspiracy for about ten years now. ;;

#mass effect meta #halfway home #the empire of preys #I MEAN it's more complicated than that obviously #and it's almost (???) understandable too from their perspective #it wasn't ALWAYS their fault obviously salarians and asari have been doing fucked up shit before they showed up #but the way they reacted to a situation that was very much not their fault was... beyond extreme #and still is #ANYWAY I shouldn't be typing I have hurt my wrist :(( #but I have been returning on halfway home and teop because!! soon stuff will happen #I hope #and remembered why I have been insane about this for as long as I have

[evie-writes-sometimes]

You've heard of 'people can't handle liking flawed characters and so they woobify them'. Now get ready for 'people try so hard not to be in the first category that they vilify them/make characters worse than they actually are in the name of nuance'.

#this is about many characters but rn it's mainly about five hargreeves #babygirl I've stanned more problematic characters than you can comprehend #and five has a shitton of flaws and has done loads of bad stuff #he's an asshole #but he's also not nearly as much of an asshole as a lot of you make him out to be??? #he can be insensitive but no more than any other character #and usually in dire situations (like he was an asshole to viktor about leaving sissy but they were on a time limit??? and he was- #-actually pretty understanding after their argument??) #he comforts allison in s1? he's understanding to luther? he berates lila about diego? he immediately goes with klaus on the road trip? #he doesn't tell viktor that he caused the apocalypse #a bunch of other stuff I can't remember rn #other characters this is about include utena tenjou #love love love anthy but some people try to put the blame on utena for forcing her perceptions on anthy #and put it on the same level as anthy manipulating lying betraying stabbing etc utena #will byers is a much lesser degree but yeah people try to make him. more flawed in everything that happened (the rain fight and rinkomania #fight mostly) #that boy didn't do anything wrong in either and that's okay #kaeya in that genshin rain fight also counts #unless he was actually goading/intending to make diluc angry and upset what did that boy do wrong??? bad timing to confide your secrets #but so what if he did??? #since a bunch of stuff is still pretty ambiguous i won't talk to much about #mostly talking about the fanon perception of the fight #but yeah #sometimes characters are just assholes and sometimes they're not assholes and it's okay either way

[hwiyoungies]

🧍‍♀️

#so one of the s.vt concerts for follow again is gonna be on their anniversary #and they're not gonna be in kr and soooooooo many people are upset about it #like kcarats are Mad mad about it #and i'm like. maybe i Am the asshole because i keep thinking is it really such a big issue #i thought maybe caratland was around those dates but it has always been on march #like i don't remember them actually doing something for the anniversary besides special videos #and lives. i'm still looking for stuff because i know that since 2020 things have been different #i get being upset and wishing it was in kr instead but someone literally wrote #''now that your dreams have come true. are we not longer in them" #and i'm like ?????????? because svt keeps doing sooo many things in kr like am i insane #am i really that much of a dick LMFAO because it's not like they're getting nothing also #idk man i'm just kinda baffled at this situation #i would understand it more if they did something special every year for their anniversary in kr #and suddenly they were like actually? we're changing it up #but they never have so that's why i'm very 🧍‍♀️ #and everyone is complaining about jp having so many concerts. like yeah man it makes sense #they sell them out every single time of course the company is going to milk that #td #most likely LMFAO #also feel free to call me out i truly wanna have a conversation about it

[weenhands]

everyday it's failing to beat the inability to recognize ones own feelings/emotions allegations

#last night i realized why ive been struggling to understand why ive been feeling a very Specific.....feeling #which i do not like and turns into a massive headache from not understanding how to process it or see it or whatever #like. it makes sense #and i think the reason why ive been experiencing this unreality thing #is because i am struggling to pinpoint that i actually feel ***** #ughhhh. with the first one its just. it feels bad. just very bad. #and then i of course end up repeating stuff in my head and/or hum if im alone to make it go away kinda #but i remember this happening in another situation and Juat yeah wow funny 👍👍 #anyways yeah just a small vent post....if u read up to here we are making out sloppy style #october has been so bad

[squuote]

I made a post bout the skip button ending a while back and I deleted it a while ago but I desperately wanna redo it cause I’m interested in what others think but man I cannot find the words for it at all lmaoo

#delete later #LMAO I JUST REMEMBERED IT #I rlly should have saved a reblog to drafts before deleting it #but basically it was along the lines of #a person who feels trapped in a situation may see a solution and just go for it- #-before trying to find other solutions. and most of the time that solution might not be an actually good one #I still feel like I’m wording that wrong though #the concept of stanley seeing the skip button as the only means to escape this ending #and not directly as a way to truly hurt the narrator #because stanley is the one trapped in that room/in the parable #and in times of feeling trapped you may reach for an option that feels like your only hope #or a solution that gives you back some sort of control #so I think the portrayal of the skip button and the zending kinda speak to this idea in an odd way #the feeling of being trapped and seeing a way out and going for that without thinking #though in the end this is me very heavily projecting my own stuff onto these endings #because I’ve been in that position before a few times and I know what it’s like #it doesn’t mean your bad for doing it but I think some people don’t understand it well #it is essentially just me explaining rash decisions in serious situations #yeah stanley should have waited with the narrator but in moments of uncertainty- #-people react in their own ways. idk shrugs I still don’t know if I’m making sense or not #maybe I’ll just keep it here in the tags lol

[lambentplume]

yapping aimlessly tonight

#jaerambles #i just have a lot in my brain!! #anyway i keep getting asked what i would want to do in an ideal situation. if money and time and stuff were no object #i really do think it would be just aimless learning. #like learning new crafts. reading without having to respond to it. sponging up knowledge without the expectation to Say Things #it feels a bit. selfish. #but i don’t really have an endpoint to reach nor do i have something to say. like i just want to acquire experiences and learn things #i get really nervous when people ask me what makes me happy because i don’t know. i know what makes me uncomfortable and scared though #i would also like the ability to just change my situation a lot as much as i want. moving to new places and leaving when i don’t like them #trying new professions without having to stick to them or work up a ladder #drop everything for a weekend to go see friends. things like that. #i say all these things as though i haven’t been too afraid to leave my house for the past 6 months djfjdjfjdjfjjd #i’m trying to be less avoidant lately though. like ideal situations are not my reality! #real life is me being too scared to think of possibilities so in reality i just have to take the tiniest steps back to normalcy #ppl with the jae lore remember when my commute to school was literally 5000 miles #or when i worked two jobs and was so about the grind because i had a reason to want the money #like i used to have So much going on. and now i don’t. and i don’t know what i am in the absence of being Busy #there’s still so much i don’t understand abt bpd1 i’m so scared of making changes too suddenly because i HATE who i was in august #or not who i was. what i was doing. #but now i’ve swung the other direction and i do nothing 😭 i don’t feel like i’m Living rn #i feel like i’ve started all over again. i almost had it i was gonna do two internships and keep doing my cute little barista job #and have a senior year that was gonna be about growing and finishing strong #and then of course my maladjusted ass sees [irreversible change event] and like. yknow #this keeps. happening to me. i want to be so much better than this 😭😭😭

[darabeatha]

/ I say I do not like lb6 yet I have 4 characters that appear in it as muses

#;ooc #ooc #;delete later #OK NO BUT LIKE; THIS ISNT A 'i hate 'x' thing' :hangs up posters about it: MEME SITUATION #i genuinely think it was sooooo long and i understood less than half of it #i was BORED it was TEDIOUS #i legit only got to understand some characters through research separatedly bc i just couldnt get them?? #maybe its my poor comprehension skills but #(and also the fact i think c.astoria is overrated) BUT ANYWAYS- #LIKE;; the idea on itself is not bad when u summarize it;; its just that it was #constantly packed with 554957458 specific lore things that u had to keep in mind for the story while being covered in fillery dialogue #+ extend it for a lot of chapters #so its also like; u cant really skip things bc u never know when they'll drop some foreshadowing or important thing to remember for later #-on in the story #and if u ask me; yes all lb's have fillery stuff but i dunno; i felt this one particularly stacked with other stuff #that just contributed in not making it that enjoyable for me to read #also my rather poor memory and short attention span could have contributed on it #i tend to :try: to look objectively at stuff but allow me to give my personal thoughts on it once (1) #/for my muts who arent into f.ate; lb means lostbelt and its basically like;; part of the story (?) #dont ask me about strict lore stuff im the least qualified for that like wtf is even going on anymore OITUROUITH

[wild-at-mind]

Being in a long distance relationship long term is so fucked up. For context for people in bigger countries I'm not talking flying distance from each other, I'm talking about 3 hrs apart on the train, so not that far arguably. But still far enough that our lives are almost completely separate in the practical sense, no matter how much we talk on the phone or meet halfway. When one of us stays over at the other's place we are still guests in each other's homes. I still don't know what cohabiting would be like and what a comfortable normalicy of being in each other's lives in person every day would be like. We're coming up to our 11th anniversary. I don't want to break up with him!!!! I love him deeply and I've never met someone I'm as compatible with as him. I've never been in love like this and I'm not easy to know, and yet he does know me and likes what he sees. I just feel I am stuck and I am frustrated that my sex life is like once every 3 months. I still don't even know how often we would have sex if we lived together, we haven't had the chance to find that rhythm. When we see each other there's no time to do any more involved stuff it's just getting off. Basically everytthing we've talked about has to stay in the realm of fantasy because there's never any fucking time.

I am trying I said to him- you need to do covering letters and things, you can't just send your CV that has never worked. He's the one who wants out of his current job, and out of his town, but applying for jobs is so fucking hard when you're working full time and trying to do things you love to not get fucking depressed. See I understand those things because I would feel the same way. If he moved here we could find a place together and I could find it out if I actually can live with someone else and stay mentally well. I'm getting too dependent on living alone in order to stay mentally well and it worries me.

Sorry to vent. I'm not looking for advice it's just venting.

#yeah it's embarrassing for a 34 yr old to go on about soul mates but i realy believe we are #i wouldn't be in this situation if we weren't really for real great together because i'm old enough to do right by myself #i can wait and in understand it's hard for someone neurodivergent to make big changes #it would be hard for someone neurotypical! so it must be even worse for him and it's so easy for him to get overwhelmed and crash emotional #as you can see from my rambles i have my baggage too like massive baggage #i worry though because he came to stay like 3 weeks ago for a few days and i was wound up and uncomfortable having a guest #even though it was him- i was hormonal so that could have been it but it's fucking scary #because you just think 'i wish i was alone in my own home right now doing my comfortable routine' #i'm stressing about washing extra dishes but my ocd requires that i'm always the one to wash them #i just want ot not be bothered and yet i feel like shit because i have no idea if it's always going to be like this or just a bad few days! #even though we have fun when we go out and stuff #the living together thing is really stressing me and i only have the last time it happened 3 months ago which i can barely remember #as reference for how i normally feel when he's here #ooooooof :( #fyi he doesn't want to do polyamory as is his right- it's not for everyone #and he has much more to lose in the dating/casual sex area than i would if i did it but i won't go into why

[strozzaprete]

not to be morbid on main but my life is so strange every day i'm fighting with my inner suicidal child trying to convince her to stay alive out of spite for our enemies

#this entire year ​i've been forced to relive past trauma -> which i'd been able to finally process but it doesn't involve just me #so basically i processed it but my family hasn't and they keep putting the blame on me for everything and guilting me for it #even though i was a literal child. in short the fact that i ''acted out'' by running away from abusive situations was and still is worse #than the actual abusive situations i was put in. as a child. #so like... i can forgive and understand and empathize with my past self at last (instead of feeling suicidal like i did for years) #but if nobody else in my close family circle does then i have to essentially stay strong and remind myself that they're wrong #point is that when i was 11-12 i would react to the emotional and physical abuse by basically putting myself in dangerous situations #and attempting suicide a couple of times lmao. staring at the train tracks every other day #because the fact that they beat me was NORMAL for me (my mom told me that i was 2 the first time my dad hit me) #and they were acting like i was (i quote) ''bipolar'' and mentally ill and acting out out of nowhere and i couldn't fully understand why #i was doing certain things at the time. so i put the entirety of the ''blame'' on myself. and later on my mom would make me feel guilty #about it for a decade to win arguments -> which almost every time start with her gaslighting me until i start crying and yelling so then she #can call me crazy. and she can make ME feel crazy so i won't take her accountable. so she avoids taking responsibility for her actions (past #and present). i finally realized this when i told her that one of the most traumatic events of my life was when she found some smoking #filters in my drawer (she used to go through my stuff all the time) that i was LITERALLY KEEPING FOR A FRIEND and she dragged me out on the #balcony by my hair and beat me. she would beat me in public places all the time to humiliate me. even my school friends remember this #and she said 1) ''it didn't happen'' and 2) ''i don't remember'' #so that's that. either i'm crazy and i fabricated the memory out of nowhere... or she's not taking responsibility for her actions. #and like... I KNOW it happened. but i'm very sensitive to gaslighting (as she does this all the time about other things as well) #and sometimes i literally have to hug myself and rock back and forth and essentially try to convince myself i'm not crazy #that's the situation i'm in rn :) cool #thank god the therapist moved my appointment to tomorrow because i'm about to implode or perhaps ask for money in advance to purchase drugs

[ajdrawshq]

playing Q2 n watching Akechi get affectionately suffocated by some guy in a bear costume. this game knows exactly what i want

#^ what i want is putting him in silly situations #also . people seem to like. rag on Morgana a lot for his bs which is understandable To A Fault i dont think hes that bad honestly but #i think im good w him over . Teddie? is that how they spell it #hes the only one of the introduced characters who i dont rly like so far n i kinda feel bad abt it .. whats the general consensus on him #but yea this moment IS great i'll give him that. get hugged idiot #kinda funny that the one p4 guy they left out for now is. Yosuke i think?? the homophobic homosexual guy???? #playing this game before p3 or p4 was a great idea i love not knowing these people like genuinely. its like kh3 all over again #my one problem rn is that im having a hard time choosing a single party to use #like im sure im supposed to have several that i switch between but the lack of being able to switch teams mid map is #- kind of annoying..... n i wanna keep all my besties on one team but theres so many now :( #OH also i rly like Naoto(?) n i dont remember if theyre usually seen as transfem or transmasc so im just gonna keep it neutral #but theyre cool as hell .. shout out to blue hair and pronouns persona characters literally one of my favorite genders #big fan of femc also :] shes so good #also i saw a spoiler on accident that i think means femc and the rest of the p3 crew are from different universes or smth like that ?? #this game rly just went fuck spacetime n all that huh. its cool tho kh prepared me for this kinda stuff #p5

[bmpmp3]

sasuke ikesen needs a character song so i can make an amv of him to tsunagaru connect and an amv of rina lovelive to his hypothetical character song

#i think sasuke and rina are best friends. i think sasuke is her cool uncle #also i think like every character from ikesen needs a character song in general but yknow #LIKE we have one for like hideyoshi and ieyasu and i think uhhhh SHINGEN and ranmaru if i remember correctly #i'd understand if some characters like sasuke never got one since it doesnt seem like their seiyuu does singing #but we can do like an amnesia kent situation with him he can just monologue to a tune i'll accept that #BUT WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER SEIYUU WHO DO SING. i KNOW masamune's actor is a full out singer with like albums and stuff #and you cant hide from me mr mitsuhides voice actor i know u sing for that music franchise. i listen to quell. i know ur secrets #and im gonna be honest i dont need my anime character songs to have like. exceptional singing #like im happy with a few vocal lessons to hit the notes right and let the actor do whatever in character. i think its charming LOL #anyway. screaming crying throwing up because we only ever got 4 character songs #we did get a bunch of theme songs sung by maiko fujita tho which is pretty awesome

[jaqdawks]

Might need to clarify

Just in case

Because someone said something on IG that might be unrelated but I figured it’s good to just disclose

I’ve only got ADHD and ASD, when I reblog about stuff related to DID, Cluster B disorders, or any disorder really, it’s more so for support and not personal, medical resonation

#someone on my IG asked under a post of some headshot refs #if they were my alters #and I was like oh huh lol I suppose they could be seen that way #they’re some spooky little guys #but they’re not and I’m definitely a singlet #so I told them I was #and then I was like ‘hmm now how did they come to that conclusion?’ and remembered I’d reblogged a lot of stuff #about DID fakeclaiming and DID in general #and I thought ‘oh shit maybe they follow my tumblr and got the wrong idea’ #so I wanted to just say this here and now #I’ve got ADHD and ASD but beyond that im just advocating for others as I hope others would for me #im very against the stigmatization of disorders and also fakeclaiming because like #literally you cannot know if someone is or isn’t faking something from the internet alone #like not even if you’re a doctor or if you have the disorder you think someone is faking #it’s a very rare situation where we can say for certain #ultimately whatever community is struggling with whatever #even if I have a very limited grasp on how it works and can do nothing to truly understand #especially as someone with low empathy as part of my ASD #i wanna try to support everyone #it’s like the golden rule and shit #I’m sorta rambling sorryyyyy

[elytrafemme]

you all will be infuriated with me but i’m being dead serious this time, this isn’t a “haha let’s get my mutuals telling me they think i have this in a joking way” this is like, i’m seriously considering this sort of thing.

i’m wondering if i was wrong about the borderline thing. 

and to be clear because i know at least some people might jump on this, i’m not saying all the symptoms i attributed to it are gone. those are still existent and bpd is the best explanation out of the countless of other conditions i’ve read research papers about, talked to professionals about, or otherwise studied. like this is the best thing i have to go off of. 

but i think i’m very used to being wrong about these things. i was wrong about being part of a system, which i guess i can elaborate on but at this point like, i give up, at some point i’ll go through and delete my pluralkit because i’m tired of this shit. i was wrong about every other condition i thought i had and to be clear part of why i thought i had those conditions was me just trying to humble any other option but bpd. so if they were successful, well, that’d be unexpected.

but that still makes it extremely strange and i honestly am doubting if i have bpd anymore.

#nightmare.personal #i don't know if this is one of those things that's kind of socially inappropriate to say but it's honest so i will #most people who have BPD are way more fucked up than me #like yes i'm definitely fucked up. compared to some of my friends yeah absolutely. #but especially with childhood shit like. it's a lot more intense than what i remember. #and yes yes there's a lot i don't remember. sure. i just found out two days ago that my parents fighting with my brother a lot #might have affected me mentally. so like there's a lack of understanding here. #but i don't think you guys really get how fucked up some of your lives have been #and like. yes i've been in near death situations sure. whatever. #but what's different between me and all these other people is you guys had stuff going on physically #and mine wasn't exactly physical. i probably could have died. but it would have been a psychological thing more than anything #and that's not exactly in the neat little handbook most support groups carry so who's normal pilled now huh #also i'm sure half of you do not give a shit about this but #some of you have BPD and it's a moth to the flame effect #the system thing will get at least one auto like because patterns #so people do care about this but most of you don't and ultimately this is useless #i'm just tired of this. and i think i need to do something about it soon.

[katyspersonal]

Tbh from my experience, many straight men should really raise their standards from what they want from love/relationship.

Guys - the girl being ‘cute, kind and accepting of your flaws’ is not a mark of her being THE one, honestly. These are like... very basic things. In fact, healthy relationship is not even possible without ‘being nice and accepting’, a partner that would not even allow you to be vulnerable and imperfect and weird isn’t a good one! But shooting for the bare minimum will cause problems, sooner or later.

It is kind of exactly what my toxic EX “loved” me for. Because I was accepting of his ‘weird’ traits and tastes, because I was willing to listen ‘when other just shut him down’ and because I gave him enough space ‘instead of just demanding things’? But yes, within “loving” me not for ME, but for what I could give to him - while being convinced no other person could do the same (bare minimum, I remind you!) - he failed to notice he liked exactly nothing about me as a person. He hated my tastes, my temperament, my lack of experience in “obvious social things”, my own vulnerability, all MY needs and boundaries appeared ‘selfish’ or ‘irrational’ for him, he hated my walls of text, he hated my intensity...

Like, you see the problem? I could not even truly blame him for turning out extremely toxic - when he was convinced that he was ‘stuck’ with a person he could not vibe less with, only because I was ‘the only one to ACCEPT him’, permanently feeling like ‘he never deserved better’... all this bitterness and disappointment in life coulda turned even a decent person into a very toxic one? Even very level-headed ones could turn out such if every day of their life they feel trapped with a person they hate, because it is either this or complete loneliness.

Naturally he resisted breaking up every way he could and I had to leave, and naturally his new partner that he actually likes and connects with he treats way better. Except I did not deserve to suffer because of his ‘desperation’ and lowered standards. Nobody with a similar experience (and there are many) deserved this.

But this is what CAN happen when you guys convince yourself that you are so spectacularly unlikeable and don’t deserve a person you would LIKE (not just ‘find safety with’) and that you should hold onto anyone who gives you BASIC human decency. Maybe I am just extremely rusty on what male gender socialisation does to a mf and there IS, in fact, widespread issue that makes ya’ll believe that a girl ‘just being nice and accepting’ is already a blessing but I felt like I needed to share my piece of the perspective, what I concluded from my experiences and those I was close with. Despair and low self-esteem is not some romantic tender trait. It is a ready recipe to both trap YOURSELF with a person you don’t even truly love and to hurt THIS person.

So honestly, aim for something besides bare minimum of human decency. Check if you feel supportive of her interests and hobbies, check if you are okay with her emotions and the way to look at the world, check if you love to listen to her, whether there are things you love in her that aren’t just “useful”. Being romantically close can’t last on only you finding someone to ‘tolerate’ you.

#personal #psychology #relationship #it is a no brainer to say however that many straight girls might face the similar problem. 'he isn't sexist and respects my boundaries!' #but again all this running stuff about 'nice guy being friendzoned!!!!!!' feels for me like for women this problem is a bit less #that they will more commonly shoot beyond bare minimum and see what they like about his personality and unique traits #nice treatment is not all it takes usually! #it is just sad that standards are dropping to the point of the bare minimum because we are all so lonely #i honestly question what happened to reality because i remember in my youth most men had TOO MUCH expectations from women #but now more and more i am seeing 'but you understand my LIMITS and FLAWS so you are the right person!' #like... straight guys what happened? who hurt you? #that or i am just in a unique experiences pool and only have a fragment of overall situation left #ironically smartphones era did not improve ability to communicate and share experiences TOO much #i am not sure if i put my observation well. i just. being aware whether you love this PERSON or only their 'convenience' is CRUCIAL #skip this part and you will hurt both yourself and this person #i am still picking shards when all it'd take him is to LISTEN me when i kept telling him to seek someone he'd resent less. #and look who was right!

[running-in-the-dark]

my nephew has called me five times in the past hour because he had an argument with his mother, and he's 14 so now he thinks she hates him etc. 😐 this happens pretty regularly and it's always exhausting because I completely understand him, but I also completely understand his parents, and explaining to him that they do not hate him while also letting him know that I understand why he feels the way he does is not easy.

I have a headache now.

#like. his parents aren't perfect. but they care and they try and they do a lot #but I don't want him to think I'm saying 'your parents care about you so you're not allowed to be hurt by their behaviour' #ugh it's just all so complicated and so simple at the same time #apparently the way he talked about what I said made his mother think I said something bad about her 🤦 so then I had to message my brother #to explain that I absolutely did not do that and that I just try to explain their point of view to him 🤦 #I understand that it's uncomfortable for them that he talks to someone else about this stuff. I'd HATE that #but tbh I think it's good that he has that option #I was all alone with those feelings as a teenager (my parents were very different and the whole situation was too. but still. I remember #how much worse everything seems at that age) #so I guess I'll just have to keep trying to navigate those conversations without taking sides or accidentally saying anyone did something #mean on purpose 🤦 because it's always just misunderstandings 🤦 #uugh my head 😞 #personal

[hua-fei-hua]

i finally finished watching that 16+ hour analysis of puella magi madoka magica; it felt like witnessing someone defend their PhD dissertation half the time it was glorious

#this man was SO ADAMANT that the sequel movie went against the fundamental themes and messages of the original ending #and like obviously i walked into this with absolutely NO madoka opinions i've seen it like 0.75 times in my life #maybe 0.9 since i remembered a surprising amt of the show when the guy was going over it and stuff #but now i'm like 'hell yeah the power of hope and love and stuff are irrational but that's the point that's what makes the genre work' #and as someone who has tried so desperately to rationalize why i continue to hope despite everything that resonated w/me #every single time i try to explain myself (mostly to myself) why i still believe in and hope for the better #i just find that i can't it ends in a failure to rationally or logically explain anything abt myself or my situation #so the whole 'the irrationality of hope is what makes it powerful is what lets madoka save the universe' #'bc believing in it is what paradoxically makes it real' was just immensely comforting to me #watching it also allowed me to understand the genre of magical girl shows and as a result #i feel like i have a much better understanding of flip flappers (my beloved niche anime from fall 2016) #花話