#ultimately… ultimately… I hope it helps the friend who has been bullied so much in this fandom

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 3

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Gif creds to @bestintheparsec

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 2.5K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

Sorry this took so long. Work :( But I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. :) Thanks for reading!

-Pedro's POV-

The warmth of the midday sun beamed through the window as Pedro glanced nervously at his watch. 12:55PM. Finally, he grabbed his laptop and lay down on his couch with a soft *flump*. He quickly typed in "The Jazz and AllyKat show" into the search engine and opened up the website for your interview, just in time for it to begin broadcasting live. He knew you wouldn't be visible, but he would be lying if he said he hadn't been waiting anxiously since they announced it two days ago.

He was interested in hearing more about you. Hearing your voice speaking instead of just singing. Hearing the passion and levels of expression you may portray. Do you have an accent? A high or low voice? A lisp or a stutter? A rasp? You were such a mystery to him and the world, yet your shared conversation over Instagram the other day was so heartfelt. He appreciated your candor and vulnerability, especially in show business.

He couldn't figure out why… but ever since he heard your song, he couldn't stop thinking about you. There was something about you that seemed to draw him in. He was impressed with your lyrics and swooned at your voice. That voice! But with everyone contemplating who you were and who you liked, Pedro didn't want to be another one of those people, making you feel pressured. But he was certainly curious. 

The video began and he listened intently, not wanting to miss a single word. When your voice chirped a hello to the interviewers and listeners, his heart skipped a beat. He swore it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. He was drawn to you and wanted to learn anything he could, so he listened, trying to keep his breathing as silent as possible to not miss it. Why am I feeling like this? We've only had one conversation. Why am I so drawn to her, especially when she's already in love with someone?… he interrogated himself.

The interview discussed your favorite color, animals, and books, which Pedro vowed to read as soon as he could get to a bookstore. You listed off your favorite films and shows. However, although you had a great taste in cinema, he couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that none of his roles were on your list. Clearly it's not you she loves, so you can put that out of your head now. He should feel relief, but instead he feels hollow at that realization.

When asked who your best friend is, you gush about your guy bff. You talk about how much you love him. How cute and sweet he is. Pedro can't help but feel a bit jealous of this guy who you love so much. But he listens on, his heart perking up and bubbling over when he hears you finally explain that your best friend is your dog.

Not only does she have a dog, but he's her best friend. And the way she talks about him is so…adorable, he thinks, gushing over your shared love of the fuzzy animals. He wonders what your dog's name and breed is, but you refuse to answer that question from the interviewers, for fear that someone may recognize his name and breed, tying him to you. The interviewers make a joke on your paranoia, which you ignore and Pedro scoffs at, their lack of understanding poking a protective instinct inside of him.

The conversation suddenly rolls into celebrity crushes and his chest tightens. But before they can ask you, he hears the air horn signaling the amount of viewers. Although he's disappointed to miss the potential answer you may have given, he also feels that strange protective feeling over you again, making him feel annoyed at the interviewers, knowing your desire for privacy. His thoughts only shift into a possessive manner for a millisecond before Ally proposes the possibility of your crush potentially listening to the show. His heart and emotions are on a bumpy roller coaster and he's practically jittery at the anticipation. He's leaning in to hear your answer when the door to his house barges open and a frustrated Oscar Isaac walks in, complaining in Spanish.

Startled, Pedro slams his laptop closed and flings it towards the coffee table, nearly spilling his drink. He yells questioningly, wondering why his best friend is barging into his home unannounced. Oscar is fully in the living room now, hands on his hips and ready to rant again. But before he has a chance to continue his argument with Pedro, he squints. His eyes look to the laptop, then to Pedro, now standing and looking frazzled after jolting up from the seat. He looks at Pedro's face again, eyebrow raised questioningly, and points to the laptop. "Were you watching porn?"

Pedro is dumbfounded, and if he wasn't on such high alert, he would've thought to lie and say he was watching porn. Instead he blurts "NO, I was not watching porn." It sounded like a lie. Oscar looks again from the laptop to Pedro, noticing his flushed cheeks and giving him a once over from head to toe, looking for any tells, other than the blush and the panic. "Yeah right, you slut. Let's see then."

Oscar reaches for the laptop, and Pedro grasps for it too, just a second behind. Too slow. Pedro argues "I wasn't. Not that it should matter, seeing as I'm in my own HOME… alone. Or should I say previously alone." Pedro throws his hands up in frustration. Oscar just laughs. "Okay let's see what you're so interested in then, that you don't even hear me knocking on your door or trying to contact you." He cracks open the computer.

"You're watching…an interview?" Oscar looks at Pedro, confused at why he would be so wigged out over a talk show. "I told you," Pedro replies, pointedly. Oscar glances back at the computer again, his brow suddenly relaxing and his lips turning into a mischievous smirk. "Ohh. I see… This is that girl you defended in your interview, huh? Someone got a little crush?" 

Pedro rolled his eyes and scoffed, trying to push away the warmth grazing his cheeks. "No. I don't have a crush. I was just looking for something to do and saw it pop up on my page…" Pedro rambled on, "plus it's just curious how much she's keeping a secret, you know? Everyone is wondering about these things." Oscar listened, amused, and Pedro continued. Please stop talking, Pedro thought to himself. "Plus I don't even know her. A crush? That's ridiculous."

"She doesn't know that guy in her song either and she managed a crush… and you defended it," Oscar said matter-of-factly. Pedro rolled his eyes, and Oscar continued. "Are you hoping her crush is on you?" 

Pedro sputtered out a quick answer. "Please. She sounds young... it's probably on someone like Harry Styles. Why would she have interest in an old man like me?" Oscar patted Pedro's shoulder. "You're too hard on yourself." Pedro ignored him and continued, "plus you know how I feel about relationships." 

"Yeah yeah…" Oscar continued in a mocking tone, hand pretending to be a sock puppet while he recited, "I don't have the time to properly grow a relationship, I don't want to get hurt, I'm focusing on my career…" Pedro ignored his mocking tone and simply agreed with the recitation. "Yes… now… Why did you feel the need to barge in here unexpectedly?"

"It wouldn't have been unexpected had you checked your messages. I texted you four times and even messaged your Instagram when I didn't get a reply," Oscar defended. 

"You know I'm not a texter," Pedro disputes.

"Yeah, no shit, abuelito. How many messages are unread on your phone? 600?" Oscar banters.

Pedro hastily defended himself. "No! I call them back! And abuelito!? Really?" He tuts. "You're not far behind me, pendejo. Plus you know I never check my Instagram messages either. I hardly even log on. You should've called me instead."

"I did. Twice. Anyway, I wanted to see if you were still available to watch the kids later. Buuuut, after not hearing back, I just decided to check on you. Glad to see you're alive, and clearly just distracted." Oscar wiggles his eyebrows.

Pedro crosses his arms, ignoring Oscar's last remark. "Yes, of course I'll watch the kids. Go enjoy yourselves!"

"Thanks P. You're the best… and I know I'm picking on you, but I just want you to be happy. I think if you like this girl you should try and talk to her. Dust off the cobwebs of your Instagram and actually message her or something."

I already have… Pedro thinks, running his thumb across his bottom lip. "Thanks, man."

Oscar left with a friendly pat on Pedro's shoulder. "See you later tonight then with the kids!"

Upon closing the door, Pedro sped over to his laptop again, hopeful that your interview hadn't ended yet. Fortunately for him, it was still recording. He hoped he hadn't missed anything.

The interviewer named Ally spoke. "Nice try. You know who we're trying to find out about. Has he, the man of your dreams and star of your lyrics, contacted you at all? Will we see a romance blooming?"

Pedro's heart pounded so loud he feared he would miss your answer. If she says yes… his mind entertains, not knowing the answer to the rest of that thought.

You spoke, hesitantly, and he felt the protective urge creep over him again. He wanted to know the answer but he hated hearing you uncomfortable . "I uh… I have received a lot of messages, some of them from celebrities."

He swallowed hard, his breath catching in his throat.

The interviewers replied excitedly. "Yeeeeaaaah?????"

There's a long pause. The silence is deafening, apart from the booming timpani of Pedro's heartbeat.

You answered, so softly he almost missed it. "Yes. We've talked."

He stopped breathing. 

"Did you tell him it was him? Did you admit you love him?"

"Absolutely not. It was just a nice conversation," you laughed.

We had a nice conversation…

"Will you tell us who he is? At least a description? An initial?" Jazzy asked, desperate for answers.

Ally chimed in "anything! We're starving here."

You giggled before answering. The most beautiful laugh he's ever heard. "I won't do that much, but I will say… he has brown curly hair... Gorgeous brown eyes… And he seems really funny and nice."

I have curly brown hair and brown eyes.. maybe it could be me, his heart offered the idea. I try my best to be funny and nice too.

It could also be Tom Holland. Or Dylan O'Brien. Or some other young actor, his self-doubt chimes in. But he also knew based on your eye color descriptor, that it wasn't Harry Styles, shutting down his earlier guess.

Ally lets out a huff. "That's a pretty broad answer but I guess it narrows out a few people.."

"Well we have another surprise. A way to narrow it down a little more…" Jazz proposes.

"Oh? What's that?" You replied. Pedro could hear the nervousness in your tone.

Jazz continued "I asked our tech to work his magic, and he managed to pull a list of our viewers during the highest number of people tuning in…"

Pedro's heart picked up speed.

"Then, since he's so good at working a computer, he was able to filter it further, running the names through the web and pulling out any celebrities. We have a list here and all you have to do is read through and say if he's on the list of viewers. The only ones who would know are the three of us. Of course if he's watching, he will also know if he's in the running or not."

You stuttered out, "o-okay.."

There was a long pause on your end while you read, and Jazz and Ally filled in the space with chatter.

Pedro sat, waiting nervously for your answer.

"Uhm… no. None of these names.." you finally answered.

His heart sank. It wasn't him. You didn't love him.

"That's disappointing," Ally answered. "I had really hoped he was listening. I'm sorry. I thought when we filtered through the viewers with our celebrity listener filter, we'd have some luck."

"It's okay.. he's probably busy or something.." you answered, though your disappointment was hard to hide. "Maybe he will listen later when he has time."

Pedro was logged in on his account. His name would've been on that list, and you just confirmed, without calling him out personally, that he wasn't the one you loved.

The interview soon ended and he closed his laptop with a sigh, flopping back onto his couch. He had hoped to message you and tell you he watched the video. But now he didn't see the point in it. You already knew he watched it, and you probably didn't care. He closed his eyes and eventually decided to try and ignore his feelings. You don't even know her. Don't be stupid. It's just a crush.. a stupid, hopeless crush..

Looking out the window, Pedro noticed the sun setting outside and glanced at the clock on his stove. Realizing Oscar would be back soon with the kids, he decided he needed to snap out of it. Put on a happy face before babysitting duty. He began straightening up the house and getting things ready before finally turning on a cartoon movie just in time for them to arrive. 

Oscar greeted him, and sat the kids in front of the movie. He knew his friend well enough to see through his smile and know he was upset about something. But he also could tell Pedro needed some space to sort things out in his mind first before he was ready to talk. So he left the kids with a profuse thank you, and headed out the door, leaving Pedro alone with his thoughts and two small bundles of energy.

Unbeknownst to Pedro, you looked through the list of celebrity viewers, scanning for his name. But thanks to his friend's intrusion, at the time that they filtered the list, he was disconnected from the live video. He wasn't on the list you saw.

Kept busy with the kids, it wasn't until they were back home with their parents that Pedro was forced to think about his feelings. Maybe he would still message you either way. You probably needed more friends and allies in this business, and he did enjoy talking to you, even if he wasn't the one you loved. If you didn't want to form a friendship with him back, that was fine too. But he would try. Still, his disappointment was settling in his heart. He didn't realize how much he was starting to care about you until you said he wasn't on that list.

So with the shared belief that neither of you cared about one another, you both went to bed, you both felt heavy in your hearts, and you both couldn't help but feel light tears spilling onto your cheeks as sleep eventually took over.

Equally unknown to you, he was watching, and he planned to watch it again when the video was posted, just to hear you talk a little bit longer. Just to learn more about you. Learn the tiny personality quirks he could pick out from your voice. Things that make you who you are, until maybe he could meet you in person. 

That's all for this chapter!! Thank you again for reading and let me know what you think.

Looking for the next chapter? Here!

Taglist: (Let me know if you want in!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x afab!reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x musician!reader #pedro pascal x plus sized! reader #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal rpf #a! wrote a fic #rpf #key to your heart

[bag-chips]

My special interest strikes again, this time with my SDR2 scringlos : ) Thank you so much for everyone’s support for the Ace-A-Pony post! I really didn’t expect it to blow up as it did!! There will definately be more Danganronpa ponies coming in the future : ) Shoutout to @thiscatdraws, @etchif and @luckpuppet for inspiration!

Just like last time, we got some headcanons in the keep reading bit - do enjoy!! (Major spoilers for the series and SDR2!)

- Hajime is, and has always been a blank flank. He’s always been self conscious about it, and he’s tried to earn it without much luck. His blank flank is a key motivator in him signing up for the Hope Cultivation plan

- Nagito broke his horn in the devasting accident that killed his parents. I headcanon that a unicorn loosing their horn is one of the most painful things they can ever experience, and that they suffer from chronic pain for the rest of their lives. Miraculously, he can still perform some magic. This spell casting either goes off without a hitch, or can be very dangerous, depending on his luck

- Due to her status as an A.I, Chiaki’s ‘true form’ is an alicorn, similiar to that of Sunny Starscout from G5. Her horn and wings are made up of pixels, and can only be seen during the breakdown of the Neo World Program

- Many presume the Ultimate Imposter to be a changeling due to their exceptional disguises. However, they are simply an earth pony who has mastered the art of disguise and misdirection. They utilise some magic to help with the disguise, but much of it is down to special effects and makeup - which only makes their feats more impressive

- Kazuichi is deceptively strong for a pegasus, having strength akin to that of an earth pony. Although he is more than capable of flying, and even fine with heights, he is petrified of fast speeds. He suffers from bad motion sickness from flying, and prefers to spend his time on the ground tinkering with machines.

- Gundham claims to be the child of a demon and an angel, sighting his differing wings as proof. It is in fact a rare birth defect. Due to his different wings, he actually struggles to fly, and can only really hover for short periods. He comes from a family of bat ponies based in a cold mountainous region, hence his woolly fur. Although his tales are exaggerated (side note - this man is so autistic fkjdfhk), he is actually a decently skilled fighter and magic user.

- Akane is a skilled parkour athlete. She can barely fly, instead using her wings to glide in order to improve her elevation in her stunts. Her and Nekomaru are the best of friends : )

- Fuyuhiko is tiny for a pegasi his age, and has smaller than average wings. He cannot fly, and relies on Peko for protection and even transport.

- Peko was abandoned as a foal and left at the Kuzuryu headquarters. The family would use her bat pony heritage against her, keeping her in the family by claiming no one would want her because of it. From this, she learnt to ignore many of her bat pony instincts.

- Hiyoko is a skilled ‘breeze dancer’, but was often bullied by other breezies for her size. As a result, she isn’t afraid to figh back against those bigger than her, and is even known to bite

#my art #danganronpa #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2 #dr #dr spoilers #danganronpa spoilers #mlp #my little pony #ponified #mlp crossover #hajime hinata #nagito komaeda #chiaki nanami #the ultimate imposter #byakuya togami #teruteru hanamura #kazuichi souda #sonia nevermind #gundham tanaka #nekomaru nidai #akane owari #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #peko pekoyama #mahiru koizumi #hiyoko saionji #ibuki mioda #mikan tsumiki

[yandere-toons]

Can I have some platonic and romantic hcs for Saul Goodman please please pretty pleassseee I'm famished

Saul Goodman | Jimmy McGill (Platonic & Romantic Headcanons)

WARNING: gross miscarriage of justice, psychological manipulation, toxic mindset.

A.N. - Not what I was expecting, but here we go!

PLATONIC:

Getting served is no cause for concern when Saul Goodman is here, or so he says. Hours after the summons arrives in the mail, Saul hears about the upcoming trial either through his job at the public defender's office or Kim at Hamlin, Hamlin & McGill.

Prepare for the phone to ring as Saul valiantly offers his legal services at a marked discount. Even if the workload and paperwork are too much for him to comfortably handle on his own, he refuses to share the case with any other law firm. Kim is inclined to help him before the two of them are estranged, and she voices her worries about Saul staying awake all night to rehearse his arguments and counter-arguments.

If jail time is involved, Saul tries his best to get the case thrown out on the slightest technicality. He badgers the prosecution outside of the courtroom so that, in court when tempers are still hot, he can argue a kangaroo court or get the prosecutor charged with contempt of court.

If he finds himself representing the opposing side, Saul has some hesitation in devoting himself to the case. His interest in another victory on his rap sheet ultimately convinces him to fight the case as he would any other. After the court proceedings, he makes a point of saying that it is not personal and hopes that it will not be held against him later in the relationship.

The threat of being disbarred prevents Saul from doing anything violent, but it does not stop his flamboyant tendencies in the courtroom. He delivers charismatic speeches in favour of the defendant as often as possible, tests the line between conman and lawyer, and does anything he can to sew seeds of doubt in the prosecution and their narrative.

Saul believes that proving himself to be a loyal companion is worth the risk, not to mention the fact that he expects lots of gratitude and favours for doing so.

Saul is less concerned with innocence versus guilt once he is accepted as the recurring attorney. He cares more about running scams to win the case or get it dismissed, such as digging up dirt on opposing witnesses to ruin the integrity of their testimony in the cross-examination.

ROMANTIC:

Another method of his is to go after the prosecution's evidence and find any reason why it should be considered inadmissible. A common strategy is for Saul to argue that the Fourth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution or any other amendment has been violated, as his entire defence is done with the intent of getting the charges dropped.

In the event of an arrest, Saul bullies the police officers who he finds entering the interrogation room before he does. He gives strict instructions to not speak unless he is in the room and has approved the exact words. After the initial interrogation, Saul fights to whittle down the charges or get the case dismissed entirely by schmoozing or bargaining with a district attorney.

From the back of Day Spa and Nail, Saul waits in his office for the call that says he landed the case. There are few limits to what he will do to win this case. The lengths to which he will go include starting a fake business to prove good character and changing the address on legal papers to make it look like the prosecution has accused the wrong person.

Having a clean record or at least no immediate charges means that Saul will ingratiate himself with friends and family. For example, a cousin with a drug problem or minor legal trouble is an easy target for Saul to represent and get into the good graces of the same social circle.

Saul wants to be seen as a good lawyer, but his understanding of what he wants from interpersonal relationships is more skewed. The first time he mentions the idea of a dinner date or an outing together is when he allows himself to be the real Jimmy, not the confident and meticulous lawyer.

Although Slippin' Jimmy is a persona that Jimmy wishes to leave behind, he still wants to be seen as fun and engaging. He accomplishes this by offering drinks and late-night TV marathons at whichever house or apartment he happens to be living.

However, Jimmy is prone to lying about his whereabouts the next day and arranging another meetup under false pretences. He claims that he was merely thinking about how much he enjoyed the previous meeting when, in reality, it is a poorly concealed plea to not be alone for the night again.

Do anything you want with my work, but never make me boring!

#Yandere #Yandere x You #Yandere x Reader #Yandere x Y/N #Yandere Imagines #Yandere Headcanons #Yandere Breaking Bad #Yandere Better Call Saul #Yandere Saul Goodman #Yandere Jimmy McGill #Breaking Bad x Reader #Better Call Saul x Reader #Saul Goodman x Reader #Jimmy McGill x Reader #Jimmy McGill #Saul Goodman #Better Call Saul #Breaking Bad #Imagines #Reader Insert #Fanfiction #X Reader #Yandere Writing #Gender Neutral Reader

[dragondemoness]

the Junko and Mukuro ditzy little brother prompt so how about dealing with the girl that he has a crush on and also first finding out their precious baby brother has a crush, but with Maki and Tenko I just would love to see them being overprotective big sisters and wanting their brother to be with a girl that treats them right. Lol let's hope tenko passes

Junko and Mukuro Finding out their Ditzy Younger Brother has a Crush on Maki and Tenko (separate)

Dealing with Maki 

They’re not a fan of her

Junko thinks she’s a creepy bitch, and Mukuro thinks she’s sketchy

For someone who was the “Ultimate Child Caregiver”, she had a very unfriendly attitude 

Mukuro isn’t even sure that’s her real talent

Technically she would be correct, but we’re leaving that out

So what do they do?

SPY

They follow you and spectate your little hangouts

You seem much happier with her, and even Maki is smiling more

But nah, fuck that

The second you leave, they’re on your ass

“(Name)! What the hell are you doing with creepy pigtails girl?!”

“Easy, Junko. (Name), we’re concerned that Harukawa isn’t everything she says she is. We advise that you steer clear of her.”

You didn’t take that shit and booked it straight home

Junko doesn’t feel bad about it, but Mukuro can’t take you ignoring her

As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters, right?

So they reconciled with you and had a talk with Maki

“I already know you two don’t trust me. You think I can’t hear you spying on (Name) and I? And you don’t have to worry. I may not be the most approachable person, but (Name) means a lot to me, and I’m not gonna sit around and bully him.” 

They’re still wary of her, but at least she makes you happy

So they can tolerate her for now

Up until the truth comes out

Dealing with Tenko

HELL. NO.

No brother of theirs is gonna end up with a sexist bitch 

Their words, not mine

They had no idea why you tried so hard to be her friend, but it wasn’t worth it

It couldn’t have been

Even when they spy on the two of you, it pisses them off

Tenko acts like such a bitchy tsundere towards you, even though she isn’t directly rejecting your offers to hang out

They’re about to interrupt when Tenko suddenly excuses herself

And you’re still staring after her with that dumb, lovestruck look in your eyes

After she leaves, they jump out and confront you

“(Name), what the fuck was that?! I know you’re always on our asses for being overprotective, but that was just ridiculous! Grow some self-respect, jeez!”

“I have to agree. No amount of desperation is worth the way she treats you.”

And like always, things don’t go well and you ghost them for a while

But both of them think they’re totally in the right

You deserve way better than that

But of course, you disobey their wishes and continue hanging out with Tenko

They’re prepared to shut it down until they notice something different

Tenko was… Improving?

She was a lot less rude towards you, though she still seemed stiff and awkward

At this point, this was driving them nuts

They needed to know what Tenko’s angle was

So they confronted her after you left

“I get why you two are worried. My master taught me to be wary of men. But (Name) has been helping me get better about it, even though I was super rude to him. But I promise it’s not gonna happen again. Even if it’ll take getting used to, I’ll give him all the love he deserves, I swear!

They’re still not sure where they stand with her, but she seemed truthful, so maybe they can give her a chance

So then, they reconcile with you and give you their “blessings” to date Tenko

They’ll still spy on you guys every once in a while, to make sure Tenko holds up her promise

And if she continues, maybe they can tolerate her

#danganronpa #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #danganronpa killing harmony #platonic danganronpa x reader #junko enoshima x reader #mukuro ikusaba x reader

[bluravenite]

You can totally ignore this if you want, i just saw that poat you added to about fandom bullying and idk, I am just... gah, i wish this fandom wasnt so cruel. I had so much fun here when i first joined and i didnt really know what i was getting into except for the fact that I loved ghost! now i still love ghost, but i am in the process of de-ghosting my blog. I feel like every day I see people bullying one another in this community, and I feel like every time i post my writing, I risk drawing attention and being bullied. Congratulations to those assholes! they'll kill the fandom because folks will be too scared to share work.

I know fandom always has some drama, but none of the others I have been involved in have been this cruel. I dont know if people are just getting crueller, or whether Ghost somehow just attracts cruel people. I hate to think the latter, because the band is drenched in love. But i fear to think the former, though i worry it might be so.

I don't think it's the band itself Hun, I think definitely it's the sort of bubble the fandom itself has created.

Cruel people exist everywhere and it's unfortunate when they end up finding each other in a bubble, ghost has gotten so big that its really hard to regulate and you will have lots of unregulated environments where people don't feel comfortable.

You as a member can do what you need to endure YOUR safety, but that sometimes isn't enough or as effective when other triggers (i.e. hate anons) are still present in the environment.

I completely feel you and I am so sorry that you've been through this and feel like this as well... Ghost used to be my comfort fandom, and I am still so in love with the romanticized idea of it, I miss talking about our OC ghouls with friends, writing and reading about them and siblings of sin life in the abbey, about ghouls going on tours and being so silly with each other. About the love and romance that allowed people in the fandom to find new ways to love themselves and explore their sexuality and even bodies. I still think that was beautiful.

Unfortunately we lost that energy at some point, maybe with the hate anons to the writers, attacks to artists, maybe with the hypersexualization of presenting gay male ghouls and dislike for the female presenting ghouls. Maybe with the over-sexualization of unmasked members of the real band, which should've never happened.

The other day I found this clip from a Neil Newbon stream (voice of Astarion in BG3 and Heisenberg in REV) where he goes on to say some headcanons are just.. wrong, and you have to learn to separate fact from fiction. These are ultimately characters that the original creators wrote, while you as a fan artist have free range to give them physical designs and traits you also have to be aware that you need to keep a somewhat level of separation, AND decency between your own headcanons and the real canon.

I think ultimately that's where this fandom goes wrong... There is no separation because people get so fucked up into their headcanons in their made up mutual bubbles that I feel like they never go out to touch grass and maybe take a minute to evaluate their content.

Not that I'm saying it shouldn't exist. Just that it's important to understand WHY it was made, WHY, it exists. Is this ghoul hypersexual?? Okay well BUT WHY????? Who are they, how do they feel about it, when did they realize, how did it affect them??? That's never talked about, it's always "ghoul has lit of sex with same sex ghoul again!!!!" It's like plotless porn at that point, fetish. It becomes gross.

I ended up kinda ranting here but I made some good points so I hope this at least helps invite more discussion about what the frick has been happening here lately..

Lots of love and encouragement to you anon, and to anyone else who has felt this way at least once in the fandom. We deserve a decent creative space💀

[fereldanwench]

okay so

i guess i'm doing this

i've avoided talking too publicly about any of this because it's... messy and uncomfortable for me, and probably other people, too. i also don't want to perpetuate drama and i was hoping i could just move on, but i don't think i can without unburdening myself a little here and i need to be witnessed, lmao.

i think this fandom also has a culture of whispering and gossiping in discord servers and dms rather than addressing anything head-on, and breaking that norm is also uncomfortable.

but the thing is, even if no one explicitly shares anything, that energy still obviously influences more public spaces and how we interact with each other. it breeds a lot of paranoia and mistrust, i think, even for people who aren't predisposed to dealing with issues like social anxiety or RSD. but given how many of us do actually deal with those things, it makes it even worse.

(although on the flipside, i think there are also plenty of conflicts that should be resolved privately and sometimes going full salted-earth publicly is also the wrong move, but I DIGRESS)

and look, yes, i am bad in this regard, too. i got sucked into this shit with everyone else, and i fuckin' hate it. i hate how much inconsequential knowledge i have rotting inside my already very overloaded brain about who's besties and who blocked whomst and WHATEVER THE FUCK I DO NOT FUCKING CARE

i didn't get involved in this shit in high school, i certainly don't need to be getting involved in it now

having said all that, here's some internal fandom conflict i've been dealing with on and off since january of this year.

about a week after lizzie's shutdown, i did notice that people i thought i was cool with were seemingly no longer cool with me. it was also happened not too long after i made the how-to fandom guide that i realized missed the mark for some folks, so i was like, well, maybe it was just that.

but to be completely honest, even if it was just that, that still kinda sucked too. although i agreed with the feedback that i should have taken a different approach to some areas in that guide and been more sympathetic to other sensitivities for creators in the fandom, my heart was in the right place. intent doesn't override impact, of course, but intent should still count for something, i think.

and i'm not asking for sympathy, i don't want or need it, but i do just want to share where i was mentally at the time to set the stage for later anxieties: no one likes getting yelled at for doing what they thought was a good thing.

but yanno, also, again to be fully transparent, i did feel like some folks were projecting their insecurities onto some sections and were just taking an uncharitable read on it as a result. i think a handful of people just didn't read it at all and wanted to revel in some righteous indignation, an impulse i unfortunately also understand too well so i can't judge too harshly there. sometimes you just see a phrase that just gets under your skin and nothing else said before or after that matters. i know. I've been there. but it is still kind of unfair to the person on the receiving end.

but i tried to walk away from that situation with humility and understanding and as a lesson to be more thoughtful in the future. i also had enough people say that it was helpful for me to feel like ultimately was a net positive, and i felt like everyone was moving past it.

so a few weeks later, after lizzie's had shut down under INCREDIBLY ABRUPT AND CONFUSING CIRCUMSTANCES TO ME, and i noticed i was being seemingly shunned or even blocked by folks i was like...

are people mad at me again for the how-to-fandom post?

or, because i am publicly friends with some prominent members of lizzies who have been accused of bullying and other bad things, that i am guilty by association?

at the time, i actually considered making some sort of public statement, but i took a step back, and i told myself "no, you're just still dealing with some lingering anxieties about The Fandom Post and you're extra sensitive and inclined to some paranoia right now. you were mostly active in the 3 months in lizzie's before it shut down. you don't have a strong association with the server. that's silly. and making a post like that will probably just make things worse because people will assume a guilty conscience is an admission of wrongdoing in and of itself."

(and i do have a guilty conscience, but i was raised catholic, my natural state is to assume i did something wrong even if i quantifiably didn't, lmao.)

but i would still catch little comments here and there, notice passive-aggressive tags on someone's post, or even just feel a vibe that kept me thinking... maybe i actually am accused of doing something.

so when That Blog started up (and yes i hate myself for being enthralled by it and i just blocked it because i know my curious monkey brain will continue leading me to the dark side if i don't), and i saw that i was explicitly accused of being a part of some inner cabal of 30-year-old women who were bullying everyone in lizzie's, i was like OH okay. so it wasn't paranoia, i was right. being friends with a few people who have been accused of wrongdoing and i guess... winning a photomode contest once was enough for some people to assume that i was one of the big baddies in the server? cool.

but the other big reason i didn't want to say anything publicly at the time was the two incidents that i was aware of did not involve me at all. i literally just did not do anything. and it wasn't my place then nor is it my place now to weigh in on other of those, especially in a public setting. i don't even want to say anything beyond this, really. i wasn't involved in any capacity, and i don't want to be involved. they're just not my conflicts.

and i know some people will take that stance in and of itself as being complicit or whatever, and that's your perogative, but i just don't feel right about inserting myself in a situation that never involved me. and i certainly don't want to drag anyone, friend or otherwise, into anything when they're probably trying to work past it in their own ways, too.

i'm also not even that pressed about people deciding they don't "trust" me or whatever for being friends (or just being friendly with--some of the people I'm accused of conspiring with i don't even know that well) with people they don't like. I'm sometimes wary of people who are friends with people i don't vibe with, too. i get it. so if you want to label me as guilty by association, knock your socks off. but just know that within the context of The Lizzie's Situation, that is the extent of my trangressions.

and outside of The Lizzie's Situation, the only two things i can think of that i did were 1) foot-in-mouth guide as addressed up there, which i really think is more of a miscommunication than an actual Bad Thing and 2) acting like an asshole in another server to someone because i was mad about how they treated my friends, which was still the wrong way to handle those feelings, and I apologized for the best way i can under the circumstances.

i genuinely cannot think of anything else I've done to cause harm to anyone in this fandom. even with people i don't like, i still don't want to hurt them. i just don't want to interact with them. if there is something else i did and you want to talk to me about it, i am open to hearing about that and doing what i can to alleviate that hurt (if it's possible, i know sometimes it's not) and making the effort to not do that again in the future.

i know i can't do anything about people who are already convinced that i am the devil, but i don't think i could really accept that and move on without at least getting my side out there. so if you read this, thank you.

that said, i do think i need to disconnect for a while so if anyone reaches out one way or the other, I'm taking the day off from social media, lol. maybe the weekend, idk, we'll see.

but yeah. that's it. thanks. 💙

#t: wench.txt #long post

[femmefatalevibe]

I need advice and I hope this isn't too much for you. If so feel free to skip it.

My whole life (8+ years) from middle school through high school I was bullied pretty badly. I was picked on for the littlest things eg: the way I sat. (This is for context and I'll get back to this)

Now I'm in university and boys want to be with me and girls want to be me. I've been told by friends that girls are jealous that I'm "getting all the guys" when I don't even pay attention to anyone. My friends are being approached by people trying to get them to put in a good word with me. I've had someone propose to me 2 years in advance when he still has a girlfriend. Another guy proposed to me after only knowing me for 5 hours.

I appear cold at university all the time. I focus on my studies. I don't pay attention to anyone I don't want to spend time with. I'm quiet and mostly keep to myself. I've been told I look intimidating or "scary looking" by boys and girls and that I tend to detach or keep people at a distance unintentionally. I've been told my voice is hot simply because it's deeper than the average woman's. According to my friend these guys like dominating women but tend to lose feelings when they find out I'm intelligent. I have absolutely no interest in seriously being with someone (at least not yet)

A small part of me wants to toy with people's feelings just to satisfy the little girl in me who was treated so badly for no reason. So my question is what should I do with these feelings?

Hi love! Your self-awareness and desire to make positive choices in this area of your life are admirable. Having a "glow-up" like you're describing above can definitely (and rightfully) inflate your confidence. I've found that, generally, when others call you intimidating, it is because they find you physically attractive and confident/possessing the ability to hold your own. Unless you use brash language, it is more likely than not that these people are intimidated – rather than you being intimidating.

Focusing on your studies is a decision you will never regret! Good on you for being goal-oriented and for setting yourself up for success.

The honest truth is: Using your looks to your advantage is just another tool in the toolbox. Don't go out of your way to use how you look to satisfy your inner child wounds. Give this inner child/teen what she needed: The confidence and resources to get in the right rooms, make the right connections, and forge a meaningful life path that feels aligned with your goals/needs for daily living. Any mind games you play "for fun" are ultimately just distractions from your goals, inner peace, and mental space that can be used for more fulfilling pursuits.

The best revenge will always be personal satisfaction and success.

Hope this helps xx

#femmefatalevibe #q/a #self confidence #inner work #inner child #higher self #level up journey #glow up #dark feminine energy #dark femininity #relationship advice #life advice #femme fatale

[archivalofsins]

It says in your bio that your hope upon finishing Milgram is to finish it with an appreciation for all it's cast instead of a select few. That has me curious, how have your opinions on the cast changed from the beginning of Trial 2 in comparison to it's end?

Well, when I started trial two, I was really only invested in Futa and Mu.

They're the first two I wrote stuff on casually. I liked how both of their narratives handled and highlighted bullying online and in real life. I thought how they were used to highlight how bullying is still bullying regardless of where it happens or on what scale refreshing and interesting.

So, that's the first thing that really caught my interest about Milgram. I also really liked how both of their stories subtly highlighted the concept of betrayal from the jump. It showcased the very you're either on top or on bottom mindset of bullies. Along with their need to control the environments there in either through seeming infallible or morally correct in Futa's case or weak/in need of help in Mu's.

Honestly it was very reminiscent of old shojo anime. Like some of the characters in Peach Girl and the way they manipulate situations. So, as someone who's read and watched a good bit of messy shojo both of their narratives were a bit nostalgic in that way.

I wasn't too surprised with where things went with Mu trial two. Ultimately, I was more disappointed by the response to the reveal than the reveal itself. I really hope for a day to come where bullying is taking as seriously as people pretend it is. Because never addressing what causes people to become bullies ultimately hinders society from having better preventative measures and intervention skills in cases where bullying is occurring.

It's easy to go it's tit for tat but that doesn't really stop the cycle or discuss the systemic issues that lead to these things. In the same vein just going everyone online is like that and we're not really much different from Futa doesn't address the real issue. That simply being, people shouldn't treat others like this.

So ultimately I came into this like these two a good deal because of what there stories covered.

Now, since I'm only human I do have some vendetta against Mu's character due to the behavior I've experienced from the fandom. That simply is not present with Futa. So, I have to constantly remind myself none of the characters are their fans. In a way Mu taught me the pitfalls of guilt by association and not judging others by the company they keep or the sort of people who support them.

In an age like this one where the divide between an individual and the groups they move inhabit are getting harder to distinguish between it's important to take a step back and recognize a person cannot solely be defined by the people they know or the privileges they have. Mu's complacency highlights this idea. Having her say you should just let friends do what they want in her second voice drama highlights how passive she can be within her situation.

Yet that doesn't exactly absolve her of anything either. It just highlights the don't rock the boat mentality of high schoolers where it's easier to let bullying happen than stand up to it and possibly be bullied yourself. Even easier to partake in it because it's guaranteed safety even for a little bit.

My opinion of Futa really just turned into wow I can't believe he managed to get away with that impressive. I was very proud honestly. Because he seems to be just as messy and like drama as much as Mu does. Possibly even more than she does given the salamander cover and comparisons to Kotoko within the text.

So, I'm very excited for what will happen next with him. Plus really interested in what would have happened if he and Mu were innocent at the same time. I think it would have been very messy honestly and they probably would have wound up working together if anything.

I wrote a lot about Mikoto because his case was the most narratively engaging for me and I do relate to his character a lot but it's mostly in a recognition of self derogatory way. That's still there fuck that guy. Glad he's innocent because it's so funny that he got away with that shit. Can't even hold you he is lying by the seat of his pants. He should not have succeeded. It was through thirst alone that he coasted to innocent.

I like dishonest men stubborn men who will be like you will eat this lie I'm feeding you and say it's good. He really came in here like I can probably gaslight my way out of this how do you know any of that was real and won. Fucking eight murderers before him and that worked solely because people like him. I hope it goes to his head so hard. I hope that shit hits him and he gets sooo fucking cocky his unrestrained as starts jumping people.

Trial one hated this guy didn't want to see him. Trial two fuck it I appreciate the grind and the commitment. Kazui trial one I know exactly what you did and it's funny you're innocent. Trial two

Me: Go on stay innocent until you say it bitch go on-

Kazui: Please just find out my lies just say them please?!

Me (a sadist and a masochist): No because I know it hurts more that you can't say it with your coward ass- So, you want people to figure it out for you to free you from that hell you meticulously made for yourself. Say it or burn bitch- Admit it or die on fire I don't care we can both suffer. I can do this all day-

Kazui: I fucking hate it here-

I just don't want to give him the satisfaction of being found being guilty would probably make him better but his bitch ass went and did that shit he can at least admit he did that shit. He's choosing to lie. He can't be mad at other people buying into the shit he decided to sell. He can stop lying at anytime this only has to go as far as he wants it to and he's enjoying the fucking lie. Given Cat.

I have great respect for Kazui's character because it embodies lying so well. It embodies it to a t. It's like it's not even about if this is good or bad anymore. If it's healthy for me or anyone around me I just gotta keep doing it why I don't know because maybe I've lied so long nobody will accept the real me- if their even is a real me. What if the feelings I think are true are just more lies and there's not one real thing about me. I tried being honest to people I cared about and they didn't like what they heard and if I can change up and put up this act to please them were the feelings ever genuine to begin with.

Is the lie on them for only wanting what they wanted to hear or is it on me for being too big of a coward to tell them what they didn't want to hear and stick to it. When do other people stop being convenient excuses for me to continue not to change because I'm afraid of what I'll really be if I do. Is it a lie that I lied for you or is it a lie that I lied for me? WHEN DOES A LIE START TO SERVE NO ONE?! WHEN DOES IT START TO HAVE NO MEANING? DOES IT EVER HAVE MEANING?!

I just really like him because he always seems to be suffering deep down in very compelling ways. Just like Kotoko. I've actually gotten to the point of liking most of the cast. I like Kotoko because I actually am a firm believer in letting women be evil. I am so much like unnecessarily, so I just also like to see them face consequences from time to time and did not wish to usurp Es if I'm being honest.

The only thing they have is a love for their job. I have feeling about Es but like they are trying their best at their job. I don't think it would be cool for any of the prisoners to take that away from them. It's their job. Sure they didn't choose it and wasn't their dream. Yet, it's something of importance to them and they've shown that consistently. Even if the choices they've made don't have the best outcomes. They take responsibility for it.

Now could Es stop resorting to physical violence as much as they do. I personally think so. My only issue with Es is just they can be condescending, rude, and don't treat prisoners equally. All of these are kind of the point of Milgram and Es is like a teenager so. I just generally think it's unfair to hit people simply because one knows they cannot hit them back. That's an abuse of power and wrong. So, I don't like that. Outside of that Es is pretty cool and tries to be reasonable even when taking in the audiences input.

They don't ask the best interrogation questions. I feel as though they could grill certain prisoners a bit more than they have and this has led to their authority being questioned. Ultimately making their job more difficult and prisoners take them less seriously. It's a hard job.

Yuno she'll always be best girl I while I don't really discuss her often. She's one of the characters I actually have merch for. She's great and not in the yes go off she's so innocent way. Yuno is an incredibly compelling character who's narrative discusses the nuances of abortion in ways I haven't seen much media imply to from based of what I believe is occurring. I like how the line in undercover implies that she was coerced into getting an abortion or contractually obligated to do so.

A concept that isn't as heavily discussed in media as it should be are forced abortion or miscarriages caused by men against the desire of the woman. Along with how being forced through something like that mentally and physically impacts a person. Because it takes a thing that everyone agrees should be a woman's choice and turns it into something done for a men's benefit. Something that happens a lot in the black community that I would like to see discussed in media more.

Mahiru is Star's favorite. She's a good lady my opinion hasn't changed. Other than she's a good lady she's needs to go to therapy for her low self-esteem immediately. She has to take more time away from dating to appreciate the person she is and can be by herself. None of the things she did were healthy and I am worried about her deeply.

The only ones I'm still really on the fence with when it comes to appreciating are Haruka and Shidou funnily enough I feel like I still don't know enough about either of them to fully appreciate them. Like not in a I don't like them at all but I don't really think about them all the time yet individually. I still only think of them in context to the relationships they have with other prisoners in canon. Which when I really appreciate a character I can think about them individually. Without it feeling forced.

And like it's still kind of forced. I feel like I appreciate them but it still feels surface level. I don't know I've written a good amount about them but there hasn't been that firm click yet. Of oh I like and understand you somewhat. With everyone else it's like naw I like you, you did that shit but I like and appreciate you on some level.

Then there's Haruka and Shidou who are just here kind of like friends of a friend. So, I'm hoping trial three takes them to that point for me. Because I still feel like there's just not much I know about them. Or much more I could know to really just make me go yeah. I can get that now.

I don't know if that makes sense. Yet, me appreciating a character is dependent on how much I can discuss them outside of relating them to someone else. I feel I do that with Haruka and Shidou the least. Which is a disservice I admit but thanks for asking!

#gunsli rambles

[suiana]

So to give to a little context first. I have a friend whom I met from my old online school. We have a enemies dynamic. We've each other for 2 years now. When we first met I was the one who talked the most, which he used to see as "annoying". Ever since I left the online school and became busy with my new irl school, I started messaging him less and when I do, he acts more and more nicer and chill than before. To the point he stared flirting with me but I always brushed it off as I also flirt with everybody. Did I forget to mention we are the complete opposite of each other. He's extremely introverted online while I'm literally just putting out my phone number for everyone to see. Irl tho I'm introverted and scared of people unlike him who suddenly has the ultimate rizz and getting into fights with other boys.

One time he messaged me while putting on his just as he got out if the shower. Lemme tell you I was dense af back then. He literally asked for shampoo recommendations. I didn't know anything about men's hygiene so I told him to use a flower scented shampoo. He left for 15mins which I thought was because he was drying his hair. No he was running to the store. He asked for which shampoo brand I use. I didn't want him to know that much about me so I said any sakura scented one.

Another time was when we were talking about a game we like and he thought about cosplaying the character I liked and I thought of it as just some teasing between friends and went along with it by saying I prefer the female characters.

I'm always questioning my sexuality so I'm always joking around that I'm gay and I think that's the reason why he hasn't been straight forward.

He started his own irl school last week and a girl kept looking back and forth at him and when he was about to go home she stopped him saying he could always ask her for help about studies and the school.

And again with a different girl but this time is his deskmate. Apparently every single girl he has met had asked him if he has a gf to which he responded with "not ur business" and I already knew something wasn't right at this point because I have seen his face before and he is mid. Sure ig some girls r into tall boys but he's a freaking emo.

And did I tell you about my suspicion about his deskmate not even being a real girl because the Coincidences if them being neighbors and having way too much in common is too suspicious. Did I also mention "her" personality is completely unreal. She says she's "not like the other girls" and HE him out of all people fricking agreed

And his description of her sounds exactly like me. Short wolfcut, gets mistaken as a boy, kinda tall. Even her behavior is like mine, Just randomly zoning out. And the last thing that completely threw me off guard was her grades. She's the Top of the class. I'm literally part of the student council.

But then I wanted to meet her too if she was comfortable with it but y know what he said.

Idk I can

He thinks I might accidentally hurt her feelings. He has known me for nearly 3 years.

And his response to me was

"Didnt mean it but since she has many mental issues and tried to suicide her self because of got bullied and mocked,i just don't want to makes her feel bad and depressed"

I relate to her so now im always telling him to protect her even if her stories might be worse than mine.

But now that I'm rethinking about it

I think he's lying to me

I heard getting advice from random strangers on the internet is better than getting actual help /j

I actually really like him and I don't have the courage to confront him directly about it

There's a very high chance I'm just being delusional and should continue being some wingman

But I don't have any other friends to tell this and I really need to get it off my chest and get other ppls opinions so I hoped I didn't make too many Grammer mistakes

don't worry about making grammar mistakes it's totally ok

u should subtly try to egg him on for answers

like asking what's Ur ideal type, what would u do if u date me, do u think we'll be more than just friends etc

if he hints that he does like u maybe u can shoot your shot lol haha, and don't be disheartened if he rejects u, there's plenty of fish in the sea :3

imo u probably have a good chance of getting that because he probably likes you ++ no guy I've seen would do such things for someone they just call a friend :)

I hope everything goes well for you bae and all the best

#suiana's sinners

[mandyzoe]

waitttt youre so real for being a bully fan + orbit… if u associate that yeojin pic w lola which of the moon girls would u assign to the other girlies… :3c

HI SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER i kinda fell off tumblr for a while i can’t lieee… but i love this question and i love you for asking it and it made my autism fire off on all cylinders so hope you don’t mind a response that is way longer than it has any right to be HEHE

im actually gonna take this ask in a different direction than you maybe originally meant it in so i apologize for that however i think my interpretations work best if i specifically use the loonaverse versions of the members because for 1 it just fits together a little better in my head if i connect these fictional characters to the fictionalized versions of these irl people, if that makes sense. and 2 im also just very autistic about the loonaverse. sorry

ok so despite the fact that i associate lola w that specific pic of yj, i find her more in line with yves, narratively speaking. because, well. yves is a fucking player. sneaking out to go on dates with vivi, stringing along chuu to make her partake of the fruit, recruiting her to convince gowon to do the same, fucking hyeju over, and THEN after hyeju had her little angry moment, yves just flashed her a smile and a wave to make her forgive her???? she has everyone wrapped around her finger. it’s crazy. two little baddie rulebreakers who WILL get what they want through love and/or war. love them

as for pinky, i debated on this one a bit. on one had there’s the undeniable rich girl swag of haseul. on the other, the princess-like charms of gowon were tempting. but ultimately? she’s a yeojin girl. her debut concept was so cute and quirky, but still with a distinct attitude to it that very much gives spoiled youngest and/or only child. she also has that same princess vibe, but a little more bright and youthful compared to gowon’s darker/more somber side of it. beyond debut, yeojin’s persona develops to lean more into that sassier vibe with the cuter aspects becoming more of an undertone which is very pinky to me

mandy… this one is flexible for me as well, between heejin or jinsoul. ppl usually say this about hyeju, but i actually think heej and soul have more “two sides of the same coin” qualities which kinda makes me wanna use them as a pair? like a duality if that makes sense. they’re both kinda morally ambiguous, heejin leaning more towards good and jinsoul more neutral/possibly evil, and also seem to have a lot more like. knowledge about the universe they’re in. like they’re very Aware of things and both attempt to exercise control over their surroundings a lot. jinsoul’s methods (allegedly!) are more Morally Questionable which is kinda where mandy leans, but i think the conflict between the two (as seen in not friends) can represent her change in how she views people and approaches relationships after… everything. they’re also both super gay

for beatrice i think maybe vivi? it’s mostly vibes based here. but vivi being an android is shown to be something that alienates her from her peers and makes her insecure in herself, despite the fact that she’s probably smarter and more talented than most if not all of them because of it. she still just wants to fit in and be a normal girl with friends who like her. later on, vivi’s android powers are shown to be more of an asset that can help her and her friends when they need it. i mean she literally piloted a space ship by herself for presumably several years to help them jump timelines or something. i think beatrice would appreciate that. plus, i think the edily concept can represent her more girly and romantic side. real yearner girl hours

now for zoe. hyeju. she’s hyeju. no debate really. they’re both initially characterized by their anger, having been hurt and betrayed and feeling really alone and isolated. hyeju is kinda viewed as a villain or a bad person because of her anger and craving for revenge, and while she can be volatile, at the end of the day she’s kinda just. a kid who was hurt. and yeah maybe she isn’t the “perfect victim”, she’s rude and angry and lashes out at people whether they deserve it or not. but she still didn’t deserve to be hurt the way she was. and she very much IS capable of love and forgiveness and she can eventually mend what was broken if she accepts the help offered to her. it just might take her a little extra time and some people willing to give her a chance. and also forgive some possible alleged murders but that’s not important

ok im gonna stop with just the clique girls cause this would get way too long HAHAHA but thank u for this ask and i hope u found my interpretations of these characters and this silly kpop lore at least somewhat interesting or accurate :P also hope ur enjoying the comeback hype as much as i am YIPPEEEE

#EVERYONE STREAM BIRTH BY ARTMS AND PREORDER THEIR ALBUM AND ALSO ONE OF A KIND BY LOOSSEMBLE!!!!!!!! #ask #text #mine #should i put this in the tags #fuck it why not #canis canem edit #bully scholarship edition #bully se #bully cce #loona #loossemble #artms #loonaverse #loonatheworld

[m-y-fandoms]

COMMISSION: Gundham Tanaka x Female Reader Part 2

Info: Island Mode, no despair. Takes place on Jabberwock Island. Genre is Fluff, oblivious crush to lovers, SFW, cute flirting. Reader uses she/her. Reader is the Ultimate Cardiologist, focused on medical stuff and knowledge of the heart!

Total fic length is 7K words split into 3 parts. Part 3 Part 1

Part 1

FREE TIME EVENT 2

Y/N was starting to get the hang of the whole “Island Life” thing. Surprisingly, getting to know her fellow classmates wasn’t the chore she thought it would be. Maybe here, she wasn’t such an outcast, because maybe, the entire class were a gaggle of outcasts. If one stops to think about it, a bunch of teens who were outstandingly exceptional in their field of choice must have faced hardships, like over-working, stress, bullying from envious peers growing up who wanted what they had, or simply peers who judged them for being a little too different in the amount of passion the had for their talent. One only has to look at Nagito Komaeda to see that Hope’s Peak Academy attendees weren’t normal. And maybe this is exactly where Y/N needed to be: with a bunch of people who didn’t fit into normal society because they were meant for more.

And each one of those special misfits had a talent room, a cabin decked out with the things they held dear. From top to bottom, each of them had what was basically a studio apartment handmade personally by Usami. Y/N had already been to the rooms of those closer to her. Mikan’s was of course full of medical equipment, a hospital cot, nursing books, x-ray scans, journals, first aid kit supplies and the like. Kazuichi had gears, oil, blueprints, car parts, scrap metal, and power tools. Y/N, who had been pleasantly surprised with her own room, asked to see Gundham’s as soon as the thought crossed her mind. She’d been spending the last few days with him, just shooting the breeze (as much as they both feared small talk) and now she wanted to see what Usami thought was the ideal environment for the Ultimate Breeder.

Reluctant about letting someone into his personal safe space, but assuring her that her heart witch spells wouldn’t work in his private domain anyhow, he accepted her request. What she saw there was pretty much what she expected. There were extravagant cages with elaborate tunnel systems, hamster food, veterinary magazines and textbooks, animal care guides, again first aid supplies (for much smaller patients then Mikan’s) and so on. He regaled her with tales of hell hounds, the likes of which would put Cerberus to shame, of near fatal clashes with rabid beasts, and she listened happily. Then, it was her turn to host him. Together, they switched over to her cabin so she could show him the sights, and he felt even more vulnerable then before. Something about him being the master of his own room was a sliver more comforting then being in the room of a strange girl. Sure they were friends, and he even began to have elevated feelings for her that he couldn’t explain, but still, all mortals were strange to him. He was a prisoner in this dimension, after all.

Sensing the unease of the boy before her, she attempted to drag him out of his stupor by starting up a conversation. Little did she know, she was the cause of his rigidness, not the atmosphere.

“So, get this,” she motions for him to sit on a chair next to her, also a bit nervous at his closeness, “I was actually sorta considering veterinary work once upon a time, because I do love animals and I like helping living things of all kinds, but I settled on human cardiology work. I think I just had a little more passion for cardiology specifically, although…” at this point, the Devas, also used to spending the days in her presence, were already crawling all over her and her stuff, curious about the new environment, “animals, unlike people, will always accept me. They never judge, and they never gossip behind my back or laugh at my shortcomings. They are totally innocent. That’s the main reason why I love them.” Gundham’s eyes widened at that. He’d never heard someone put it to words exactly how he felt quite like she did. He was sure tons of people felt this way, but he hadn’t met any of them. Animals were his friends when no one else was, because they didn’t care what he looked like or what happened in his past. Maybe she understood that?

“Noble beasts are far too powerful to let the trifles of this pathetic realm bother them. Anything that can talk will betray you.” He spoke the words like he’d said them a million times into a mirror. She nodded quickly in agreement.

“Well, I’ll never betray you.” She slipped out the words before she could stop herself. Almost in complete synchronicity, their faces began to warm up. Eye contact was impossible. Maybe they were a bit too alike in some ways. She cursed herself internally. Maybe that was too far. She was starting to form a little crush, and she refused to scare off her only true friend because of it. “I mean-”

“Silence, witch. I know what meaning lies behind your words…” he crossed his arms across his chest, trying desperately to stop the fluttering of his heart. In her domain, she could cast spells, it seemed. “I, overlord of this world, acknowledge you, and thank you for them…”

HOPE FRAGMENT 2 GAINED - END

#Gundham Tanaka #gundham x reader #x reader #reader insert #y/n #danganronpa fanfiction #danganronpa imagine #super danganronpa 2 #danganronpa v3 #trigger happy havoc #danganronpa #imagine #fluff #sdr2 goodbye despair #fanfiction #slow burn #part 2 #scenarios #headcanons #writing commissions #commission #friends to lovers #angst #sdr2 #danganronpa fandom

[tippett-in-a-robe]

Ok senario I've been rereading it turned good au lately and....

Ok so what if a child were to live with them

Maybe they have a shinning and like the others and don't find them scarry how would everyone react?

(btw you're art is looking gorgeous as per usual and I love matruins design!)

@xvx-lucifer-is-a-cat

Hello!^^ 👋 I am so sorry I didn’t see this earlier! 😭😭😭

.

OMG I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCH! 😭❤️❤️❤️

And I have actually thought about what could happen if Penny and/or his friends were to come across some lonely shining child who needed some joy in their life! XD

If a child were to live with them, it would probably start out like this:

Penny would most likely be the one to find the child since he’s the only one who lives part-time on Earth. Said child (whatever age, gender, situation, etc. they may be), would obviously be more aware than other kids since they got the shining powers, and that is what would catch Penny’s attention.

In my AU, Penny is not a child-eater! XD (He still eats people, but only the ones who deserve it lol). So, he really would not ever have eating the child on his mind. He would simply observe the kid for a few years possibly, and try to refrain from helping the child out through hard times. Penny doesn’t usually “help” humans out, so being a sort of guardian Angel to the kid would not have been on his agenda… not at first, at least.

But, over a period of time, he would start to become intrigued by the kid. He would start to “help out” here and there by scaring off some bullies, killing off any intruding creatures who may feed on shining kids, or invisibly make sure they don’t fall when they trip over something.

The kid would start to suspect greater forces at play, and could sense them. Eventually the kid would become sure they were being observed, especially after they would swear they saw a clown’s face staring at them through the sewer drain. The kid would not have been afraid though, and that actually would intrigue Penny even more.

I don’t wanna make this post too long, but let’s just say that Penny eventually decides to talk face-to-face with them and eventually makes good friends with them. Penny almost becomes a parental figure to them, and would probably start to doubt himself a lot. Though, he ultimately would decide to truly “take the kid in,” and that doesn’t mean to live in the cavern under the sewers. It means “to the Dark Tower.”

Penny: “Hey, Bessa! Say, what would y’all say if I kinda just… brought a shinin’ kid here to live with us?”

Bessa: “What’s behind you, Penny?”

Penny: “…”

Bessa: “Penny, what’s behind you?!”

Penny: “… I think you know.”

His friends would obviously need major explanations, and probably wouldn’t be all that willing to take care of a mortal child. Eventually though, they will see that Penny has finally gained some sort of friendship with this kid, and they will eventually warm up to the idea as well.

Soon, they all consider themselves the guardians of the kid. Gan and Bessa would probably be like the parental figures, Maturin would be the soft and kind uncle who has life lessons for days, and Penny would be the chaotic, fun Uncle/older sibling who would let them curse! XD

.

Thank you, @xvx-lucifer-is-a-cat for the ask! This was seriously a whole lot of fun to come up with ideas for!^^ And I am so glad that you enjoy my art and designs, it means a whole lot for me to hear! 😭❤️❤️❤️

I hope you have an amazing day, and thanks again!^^ 👋❤️

#answered ask #asks #my commentary #the dark tower au #it turned good au #ask #the dark tower au headcannons #pennywise #good Pennywise #gan #maturinturtle #maturin #Bessa

[roseianxiety]

Always You

Summary: As a young boy, Virgil often swooped in to save his geeky and timid childhood best friend, Roman, from his bullies. After years have passed without seeing each other, his friend has come home from abroad and now a completely different person than before, and ready to sweep Virgil off his feet. Virgil, of course, falls head over heels for the other.

AO3 - Part 6, Part 7

Content Warning: Food, Swearing

Author’s Note: This particular chapter was fun to write and I hope y'all would enjoy this!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Chapter 7

The following day, Virgil woke up to a text from Roman. It was a simple message asking how he slept, but it made Virgil's heart skip a beat. He replied with a quick "Good, thanks for asking" and tried to push the thoughts of yesterday's encounter to the back of his mind. He didn't want to think about it too much, but it was hard not to.

Virgil spent the rest of his day working at the coffee shop. Making coffee, tending to the customers, cleaning the tables, etc. But his mind kept wandering back to Roman and the strange feelings he had been experiencing which was starting to get on his nerves now.

He let out a loud frustrated sigh as he slumped against the counter, banging his head slightly against the hard surface in front of him. The sound echoed throughout the room and startled some of the other customers. But he didn't care because he wasn't paying any attention and he was just trying to figure out why he felt the way he did about Roman. It made no sense.

"What's got you so worked up, babes?" Remy asks teasingly as he approaches Virgil. Virgil rolls his eyes playfully before straightening his posture and turning to face Remy."It's nothing, just my stupid brain overthinking things," Virgil replies with a small pout.

Remy raises an eyebrow, unconvinced. "Uh-huh, sure it's nothing. I say that's total BS, sweetheart. Now spill 'em, what's been bothering you?" Remy says, his tone becoming more serious. Virgil hesitates for a moment, debating whether or not to confide in Remy about his confusing feelings toward Roman. But ultimately, he decides to trust his friend and opens up to him.

"Well, it's kind of hard to explain...I don't know what it is, but ever since yesterday, I've been having these weird, confusing feelings and I can't get it off of my mind," Virgil admits, his voice low and uncertain.

Remy listens patiently, his expression softening as Virgil speaks. "Hmm, sounds like you might have a crush, babe," Remy teases slightly, placing a comforting hand on Virgil's shoulder.

"A crush?? No that can't be! And on who would I even have a crush on?" Virgil says rather defensively while moving his hands around wildly. He was definitely not having a crush on anyone.

"I don't know, hun. Who do YOU have a crush on?" Remy chuckles in amusement, enjoying Virgil's obliviousness to his feelings.

Virgil furrows his brows in confusion, "I don't know, I don't have a crush on anyone! It's just a weird feeling that I can't explain." He insists.

Remy shakes his head, still grinning. "Well, I think you should maybe try to figure out what that feeling is about. You never know, it might lead to something good," he suggests before walking away, leaving Virgil to ponder his words.

Virgil was left alone with his thoughts once again, and as he went about his work, he couldn't help but think about what Remy said. Was it possible that he had feelings for Roman? He couldn't imagine that being the case, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it made. He had always felt a special connection with Roman, and he enjoyed spending time with him more than anyone else.

No that can't be. He can't have a crush on Roman. He's his friend. Virgil tried to push the thoughts out of his mind and focus on his work, but they kept creeping back in. No no no, no more thinking about this. Just go on with work and everything will be normal. He quickly look from the counter when he heard the door chimes ringing, indicating someone had entered the coffee shop. And boy, him looking up was a bad BAD idea.

Roman had entered the shop and Virgil's heart skipped a beat or two. He could feel his face turning red as Roman approached him with that goddamn 'brighter-than-the-sun' smile. "Hey, Virgil! How's your day been so far?" Roman asked cheerfully.

Virgil tried to compose himself and replied, "Uh, it's been good. How about yours? Are you– Are you feeling alright now?" He could feel his palms getting sweaty and his heart racing as he spoke.

"It's been pretty busy, but I'm happy to see you here, and I'm not sick anymore. Thanks for your assistance yesterday." Roman said with a smile before shooting a playful wink at Virgil. Virgil's heart started palpitating inside his chest like it was going to jump out of his ribcage. What the heck is happening to me?! He thought.

Roman ordered his usual drink and sat down at a table near the counter while he worked on something on his laptop. Virgil couldn't help but steal glances at him as he worked, taking note of Roman's cute features like how his lips looked pressed together in concentration, how his nose crinkled ever so slightly as he concentrated, or how his hair was always messy due to the number of times he messed it up with his fingers while doing his work–

OH MY FUCKING GOSH– VIRGIL WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!??!!

Virgil shook his head to clear his thoughts and focused on his work, trying to ignore the butterflies in his stomach every time Roman looked up and smiled at him. As moments passed, Virgil found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on his work. Every time he heard Roman laugh or saw him typing away on his laptop, Virgil's heart would skip a beat. It was like he was under a spell, and he couldn't break free. He tried to distract himself by cleaning the counter or restocking the shelves, but his mind kept wandering back to Roman. He was in a trance and didn't even notice when Roman finished his work and walked up to the counter to order another drink.

"Hey, Virge, can I get a refill?" Roman asked, snapping Virgil back to reality.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Sorry, I was lost in thought," Virgil replied, feeling embarrassed.

Roman smiled at him and said, "No worries, happens to the best of us.". Virgil quickly refilled Roman's drink and handed it to him with a smile. "So, what brings you here today?" Virgil asked, trying to sound casual.

"Just working on some stuff, you know how it is," Roman replied, taking a sip of his drink. Virgil hums in response as he keeps on wiping the counter despite it being already clean, he was trying to distract himself.

"Are you free tonight?"

Roman asks, changing the subject. Virgil snaps his gaze up to meet Roman's eyes and feels as though his heart has jumped into his throat. Oh no. This isn't good. "Sorry, what?" Virgil responds, feeling his cheeks flush a little. His heart was pounding so loudly that he wondered if Roman could hear it.

"I was thinking that we should go out on a friendly dinner date tonight. If you're free." Roman says rather sheepishly while he took another sip of his drink. "Not forcing you though, just thought I'd ask," He adds.

Virgil's mind went blank for a second, and he could feel his heart racing faster than ever. Did he just say a date? Did Roman just ask him out on a date? I mean, he did say it was a friendly date. So…it's not really a date, right? I mean…it's probably just a friendly night out. Yeah…yeah, that's totally reasonable!

Virgil cleared his throat and tried to compose himself before replying, "Yeah, that sounds great, I'm free tonight." He tried to sound as calm as possible, but his voice cracked a little, betraying his nerves.

"Awesome! Is it alright if I just wait till your shift is over?"

"Sure, that works for me," Virgil replied, trying to hide his excitement. "I'll be done in about an hour or so.". "Perfect. I'll just finish up some work here and wait for you then," Roman said with a smile before taking his laptop and returning to his table.

Virgil then waddled his way to the back room, trying to calm his nerves and process what just happened. He couldn't believe that Roman had just asked him out on a date, even if it was just a friendly one. He slid down the floor and wrapped his arms around his knees, burying his face in them. The butterflies were back in full force. This was bad. This was sooooo bad.

They'd hung out plenty of times but this was the first time he felt like this. Sure, he liked being around him, and seeing him laugh was amazing (he would deny it until the day he died), but this was different somehow. All of this was so confusing!! It was making his head hurt and shit.

"Bitch, are you okay??"

Virgil snapped back into reality and looked up, seeing Remy gazing down at him with a weirded-out and concerned look.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Virgil replied, trying to shake off his daze. "Why are you on the floor?" Remy asked, still looking at him with concern. Virgil quickly got up and dusted himself off. "Just needed a break," he said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Uh huh... sure... I'll handle the register then while you take a break," Remy replied skeptically before heading toward the register. Virgil watched him leave. He was quite thankful that he didn't question him any further or else he wouldn't know what to do.

Virgil took a deep breath and shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He couldn't let himself get too excited about tonight. It was just a friendly dinner date, after all. But still, he couldn't shake the butterflies in his stomach.

He spent the next hour or so finishing up his shift, trying to focus on work instead of his racing thoughts. As soon as his shift ended, Virgil quickly changed out of his work uniform and freshened up in the employee restroom. He checked his appearance in the mirror and ran his hands through his hair. He was nervous but excited at the same time.

He stepped out of the coffee shop and scanned the area, looking for Roman. Virgil spotted Roman waiting outside the coffee shop, looking up from his phone as he saw Virgil approach. Roman's face lit up with a smile, and Virgil couldn't help but smile back.

"Hey, ready to go?" Roman asked, closing his phone and slipping it into his pocket. "Yeah. So…um, where do you want to eat?" Virgil nodded and asked nervously.

"Well, I saw this neat Vietnamese restaurant on my way to uni so I thought we could go there!" Roman exclaimed with a big grin, his brown hair falling over his eyes. Virgil chuckled lightly. "Sounds great," he replied.

They walked side by side towards the restaurant, chatting softly with each other. They soon arrived, and Roman held the door open for Virgil, gesturing him into the restaurant. They looked for a place to sit and chose a small booth in the corner. A waiter went up to them and gave them a menu.

"I'm not quite familiar with most of these dishes..." Virgil says sheepishly as he continued to browse through the menu, searching for any kind of dish that looks interesting. He then looks up at Roman, "What would you recommend?".

"Well, you can try Bánh cuốn which is a steamed rice cake-like dish, it's delicious, definitely one of my faves. Or you can try Phở which is one of Vietnam's many noodle soups, it's really good too, a must try." Roman explained.

"Oh, I've never heard of either of those but it sounds nice. I think I'm in soup mode so Phở it is." Virgil replies, placing the menu down on the table. Roman smiles at him before calling the waiter over and placing their orders.

Virgil chose Phở and Roman chose Ca Kho To (which is a caramelized fish in a clay pot). As they waited for their food to arrive, they continued to chat about how their day went on and whatnot.

When their food arrived, Virgil was pleasantly surprised by how delicious it looked and smelled. He tentatively tried a spoonful of his Phở, and his eyes widened with delight. "Wow, this is amazing!" he exclaimed, taking another spoonful. Roman chuckled at Virgil's reaction and took a bite of his own dish, nodding in agreement.

When they finished eating their dinner, Roman pulled out his pocket and insisted on paying for their meal. Virgil tried to protest but Roman said the latter didn't need to do so. Knowing how persistent Roman is, Virgil finally gave in and lets him do so before thanking him.

As they walked out of the restaurant, Virgil stuffed his hand in the pockets of his hoodie while he walked side by side with Roman, his attention far ahead of the sidewalk and seemingly lost in his thoughts.

"La notte è incantevole (The night is lovely)."

Virgil was startled by Roman suddenly speaking in Italian. It's been quite a while since he heard him say anything in Italian, but he always found it quite charming hearing him speak in that way.

"What does that mean?" Virgil queries out of curiosity as they continued to walk. Roman glanced at him and smiles, answering his question. "It means that the night is lovely. Ain't it, no?". "Yeah, it is," Virgil replied with a small smile, looking up at the starry night sky. They continued to walk in silence for a while, their footsteps the only sound echoing through the empty streets.

"Earlier, I walked passed that old preschool we used to go to, it looks so different now. It made me remember the first time we interacted when we were kids." Roman chuckles, bringing Virgil's attention back to him as he continues. "I still remember it so vividly like it was yesterday". Virgil looked up at him curiously. "Really? That was like, so long ago," Virgil replied.

Roman smiles at him softly, "How can I ever forget that memory? You were in it.".

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Writing Taglist: @cutebisexualmess @extraintrovertedalien (please tell me if you want to be added or removed in the tag list)

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #virgil sanders #tss roman #tss virgil #ts roman #ts virgil #tss fanfic #prinxiety #prinxiety fanfiction #vee writes

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

species dysphoria, csa, bullying

name-lucas

i feel like this is weird to say but I get species dysphoria and it feels exactly the same as my gender dysphoria I don’t know if it’s valid since there s a lot of bullying that goes on and people always saying it’s fake or it’s taking away from people with fl gender dysphoria but to me how it feels is it’s the same thing just for something other than gender. ive gotten bullied sm for it even by my own friends and family calling me weird, freak, a furry and just laughing at and making fun of me like im a joke that im afraid of more harassment if i come out to others so im hiding my identity. but it has made me suicidal not only the bullying but also the dysphoria i feel with being nonhuman at least with my gender dysphoria i can make it better by actually changing my body and what i wear but you can’t do that with nonhuman identities obv… i feel like it might’ve been caused by the csa i experienced by adults and older kids bc after that i rmbr my whole personality changed,i behaved more withdrawn socially,scared of others,and identity disturbance, i had anxiety about being left alone with people I didn’t trust. ive always longed for being nonhuman physically like i am mentally. idk if this is even the right place to put this but yeah

Hi lucas,

I'm so sorry about everything you've been through. Honestly I'm rather uneducated about those who identify as nonhuman - I only know a tiny bit. But I do know why for example nonhuman alters exist in a system, and I think the same explanation can be used for why trauma may play a part in someone identifying as nonhuman (but I feel the need to stress that just because trauma may influence this identity doesn't mean that the identity is wrong or should be changed, only if it is doing harm).

Part of how trauma may influence someone to identify as nonhuman could be simply congruent with how they were treated - dehumanized, and some people internalize this to such a depth that it shapes their relationship to their own humanity. But another part is often a kind of dissociation so to speak, where you meta-cognitively observe how your trauma is tied to your humanity, and seek identification in nonhuman entities as a kind of escape from the reality and gravity of that trauma. Also sometimes people who are deeply traumatized by others may gravitate towards fostering relationships with animals over human beings, although of course identifying as nonhuman is a much broader spectrum than identifying as an animal. It's worth noting that there could be more reasons as well, and these reasons may actually have very little bearing in someone's overall nonhuman identity.

I think ultimately, if you could access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist could give you further insights into your nonhuman identity / species dysphoria as well as process and heal from your traumatic experiences. If anyone has any comments or suggestions please feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw sa #tw csa #tw emotional abuse

[kindestegg]

Pespillo’s post about how the fandom treats Hunter’s Belos-related trauma while ignoring the Collector’s to instead flatten them into funny iPad kid reminds me of how Luz’s trauma from Belos is also downplayed and ignored so she can be his best friend and therapist and the one person who gets him, meeting him on mutual ground as if the finale didn’t perfectly summarize why this is a terrible thing. Coincidentally, both Luz and the Collector are very similar in themes and motives and have their outgoing charm used as an excuse to ignore the legitimate depth going on beneath the surface.

oh you are so correct it often feels like ppl want luz to put the responsibility in herself of fixing him when like. shes fucking fourteen n he traumatized her do you think at ANY POINT shed even have the mental n emotional capability after being tossed into danger and having her loved ones threatened multiple times to PLAY THERAPIST for him and undo the literal hundreds of years of cognitive dissonant he has in a single episode?? LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!!! CHEGAAAAAA!! LET HER REST!!

also you are so right in clocking that, i did technically write something similar to the sentiment colly n luz are so similar here . but also like ive been thinking about luzs specific trauma n guilt related to helping belos n what is an actual fucked up underlying context here is that shes not JUST responsible for the nebulous acts of 'she was nice to him without knowing who he was n taught him a glyph n helped him meet the collector'. because its implied that belos NEEDED collectors help to get the draining spell started? and whats related to the draining spell? the whole coven system he started n enforced n all the domino n ripple effects that had on their society.

this, mind you, includes edas curse. hell it includes the whole drama in the clawthorne family. it includes also all the wild witches that were killed simply for resisting assimilation. it includes also all the kids bullied and tortured in subtler ways for being different. it includes probably his looking into the basilisks and yes, includes vee. it includes even all of the exhausted natural resources that were taken to fulfill his plans.

isnt that fucking terrifying? to know that actions you thought were selfless and just helping out another person, a person you looked up to even, and at some point you realized he sucked but not to HOW much he sucked... were actually setting up for a slow hellish imperialist reign that made the lives of so many people exponentially worse? that KILLED people? that WOULD have killed more? when it otherwise didnt leave them with fucked priorities and mental disorders??? FUCK MAN!!!!!! THATS FUCKED UP!! NO WONDER LUZ WANTED TO HAVE NEVER EXISTED, LOOK AT ALL THIS SHIT.

and yet... we do know even if it was a ripple effect, it was still ultimately belos' fault. it was his n his decision alone to do all this with the small push luz gave him. and in the depths of her psychological despair, even then, luz is able to grasp at some hope that she can make things right, that she can make it up to the isles and its people. she HAS to. its the least she can do for them. but it then becomes equally important just how much every step of the way she is comforted by the people she has by her side telling her that they wont abandon her, that they know she messed up terribly, but that this does not necessarily make her irredeemable, and that the only path is forward, and through it all.

and most of all, she is allowed to look back, she is allowed to think slowly, she is allowed to seek comfort when she is suffering because this does not make her egocentric in her pain over her guilt, it just means she needs this healing so she can complete her journey. you can be of no use to others if you are constantly punishing yourself, after all. and ultimately also when papa titan offers her the perspective she was kind to her son even when she had no idea king was a titan, luz truly realizes another important truth: your bad deeds do not negate your good ones. theres no score or balance of sins vs virtues pending one way or another. one horrible mistake you made is just another action in the web of your life, where if you look in another direction, you have also done immense good with other actions.

and the good you do ripples as well. it isnt a coincidence that it was also another action of kindness, attempting to save collector, that even got her to the in between. luz was never a chosen one. but through an intricate web of choices to do good, specially to these two wonderful children, she ended up right where she needed to then take papa titans power and become his vessel to rid the isles of belos for good. isnt that poetic? isnt that beautiful?

collector is much of the same. in a way, you could say he was at fault for the titans going pretty much extinct. had his presence among the titans not alerted his siblings, they would have never been able to actively find and kill off the last titans. and these were a people collector cared about, he learned of their magic, he played with them, he admired them and their strength. just. gone. and because of him? if he ever realizes that, its going to be luz all over again. and i can imagine he already feels guilty just because of the draining spell and the whole puppet thing once he starts realizing that was bad by the end of s3. this could easily send him spiraling. and i wonder... it also feels i havent seen many people touch on that in fan works. oh well.

anyway. ahem. my point is i think belos would be a very terrible character for them to be around, i feel like theyre best both trying to heal from their respective trauma n finding good support networks. and also there is so much more to them to be explored. luz also has her trauma from bullying and loss of her father, n colly has, again, being stuck in the disc and having to rely on anyone who has it to try and get them to set him free, many of them being power hungry and treating him like an object, only wanting to use him. this does make their backstories differ quite a bit, as luz wants to belong somewhere where she can be herself without judgement and people being cruel to her, and collector on the other hand just needs to be free and have good figures guiding him again. they state this. luz wanted to be understood, collector wanted a friend who wouldnt use him or betray him.

uhm this got a little long... oh well!!! heheh thank you for the ask, i always like getting a little too serious about this little show meow

#commander's answers #long post

[roberttchase]

Future family 🙂🙂

I had planned on writing a whole fic, but bc of surgery, I got out just over 1k. The meds I’m on make everything a little hazy, so I apologize at the abrupt ending lol. Originally I was going to have their son be named Andy, but I’m not sure how I feel about realistically Matt wanting to call his son his dead best friends name. So I went with Drew, but it might change. I do like the name Andy, but it’s also been used a lot in fics for his or Kelly’s sons name.

Enjoy some soft future Casey family fic!

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“Drew, can you come and pick up all the dinosaurs you left on the table?” Sylvie calls out to their five year old son, who quickly appears, mop of long blonde curls bouncing as he looks at the seven dinosaurs calculatingly. His beloved stuffed cat; the one that Sylvie had loved and cuddled growing up, is in his left hand.

“You want some help Bubba?”

“No, I got it.” His voice is raspy, and while some assume that maybe he’s picked up a cold from kindergarten, anyone who knows Drew knows it’s just his voice, and another thing he can use to get away with more than he should. It’s distinct and pretty adorable. That, coupled with his hair that hits the middle of his back, his snub nose he got from Mama, his slight lisp, and his bright blue-green eyes…well. He’s got not only his family, but all of fifty one wrapped around his finger.

Carefully, the boy (who’s been growing like a weed lately) sets Binx down on the table, then pulls the end of his shirt out with one hand. Slowly, he puts the dinosaurs against the fabric, making a small basket of sorts. When he puts the last dinosaur in, he grins up at Sylvie and tries to blow a curl away from his face that’s fallen.

Moving it for him and running a hand down through the soft golden ringlets, Sylvie presses a kiss to his head.

“Go put them away please. In the right place this time,” she raises an eyebrow, which makes him giggle.

“I..I didn’t mean t’put’em under the bed, they justht got there by magic!”

Laughing again, the paramedic squeezes his shoulder playfully.

“Mhm, well let’s see if magic can get them in the right place this time okay? And then we can make brownies if you think you’d like to.”

That’s one thing she and Matt try to stay conscious of. Giving choices. Even children need to know there’s always more than once choice, and that every choice has consequences, good or bad. Drew hums thoughtfully.

“Like Annabelle’sth? Wif the choc’ate chipsth?”

“Sure, with the chocolate chips. You think we can try for word in your book? Go put up the dinos and then we’ll do it while working.”

At the sentence, the five year old groans, but nods. Carefully so he doesn’t spill and ruin his hard work, Drew climbs the stairs slowly, putting the dinos into the bin in his room that Papa built, with the word ‘Dinosaurs’ painted on by Mama. Smiling, he rushes back down but freezes when he sees the notebook out on the counter with his pencil.

Sylvie gives him an encouraging look and takes his hand, sitting him on one of the tall chairs that sit at the island counter. She knows the boy hates this, and hopes brownies after will help. Because of his lingering lisp, the pediatric doctor had suggested that he go to speech therapy, so try and help guide his mouth to work through the hang up his tongue was having.

They’d talked to Drew thoroughly about it, explaining what it would do, and asked if it was something he’d like to try. Ultimately, the boy had agreed, having been bullied by a few older kids on the bus months prior for not being able to say words correctly. And even now, though tough and annoying to him, their son continues to push through, which amazes both Sylvie and Matt, how much resilience the kid has.

“Ok, do you want to try the word chips? Or something else?”

The book on the counter has a little space for every word he tries, and then he writes how many times it takes for him to say it correctly. Sylvie’s made it clear that the amount of times doesn’t matter, and that it’s not a ‘pass or fail’ situation. She sincerely hopes he understands that part.

“Chipsth.”

They work through it. They go through the motions, her reminding him where to place his tongue. After three tries, Drew manages to get ‘chips’ out without an issue, making himself beam.

“I did it!”

“Yeah you did! I’m so proud of you! This definitely calls for brownies, huh?”

“Yeah!! With choc’ate ch-chip..s.”

Another grin and Sylvie high fives him.

Moving into the actual kitchen space, Sylvie starts pulling out ingredients. Half way through Drew pouring flour from a measuring cup into the big mixing bowl, they hear a car pull up outside.

“I think Papa and sissy are home,” Sylvie says as she slides the bag of chocolate chips over for him to pour in. Drew nods as he pours the chips, his little tongue poking out of his mouth as he concentrates- a spitting image of Matt.

They’re interrupted by a muffled bang and instant crying. Sylvie’s already moving, while Drew works on scrambling down from the counter he’s been sitting on, jumping and landing on his feet, chips forgotten. The paramedic opens the door, heart beating fast as he sees Matt holding their seven year old daughter tight, her small body trembling as she sobs into his shoulder.

“Shh, it’s okay Addy, let’s get you inside,” Matt’s voice is calm and reassuring, and when he looks up he gives Sylvie a sad smile.

“What happened?”

“Jumped out and forgot how icy it was, I think. Hit the concrete pretty hard, I can’t tell if she’s bleeding or not.”

They get inside and Matt sets Addy down on the counter, her little black leggings slightly damp from hitting the ice and snow. She has her skating jacket on, along with her big winter coat, which Matt works on unzipping and taking off. Tears slowing, Addy wipes her face with her hand, sniffling quietly. Tear tracks are smudged across her freckles, blue eyes blinking rapidly to get rid of the rest. Her strawberry blonde hair is in a neat bun atop her head, lips barely quivering now.

“Does anything hurt lovey? Or was it just scary?” Sylvie asks, running a hand down their daughters shoulder. Drew comes over with a tissue for her, Binx held tight in his arms, watching his sister anxiously. Sylvie gives the tissue to Addy, who wipes her face and nose before taking a shudder-y breath in.

“S-Scary…nothing hurts…” she moves her arms and legs to make sure, then nods.

“I’m glad sweetheart. But let’s keep an eye on it, okay? Let me and Papa know if anything does start hurting.” With a kiss to her daughter's cheek, Sylvie relaxes, adrenaline slowly dissipating. Matt presses a kiss to Addy’s cheek, the. Sylvie’s, then a kiss to Drew’s head.

“Well, that was quite an entrance, huh ‘Laide?” Matt smiles, hoping to diffuse the rest of the scary moment. “Oh! Tell Mama what you did at practice!”

Adelaide Casey giggles and then her eyes brighten. “Mama!! Mama I did it! I got my toe loop.”

It’s something the seven year old has been working towards in her ice skating lessons. She’s been on the ice since she was two, Matt helping her learn the basics until the three year old class at their local rink would take her. She remembers Matt getting so huffy when he saw that she knew more than the kids there but still couldn’t join because of her age. Sylvie loves watching Matt and Addy together, he’s such a good girl dad- not that he’s not a great boy dad too, but, something about his and Addy’s bond is special. She supposes she and Drew have that too, a special mama-son bond.

Sylvie lights up at her daughter's announcement, pulling her into a big hug.

“I’m so proud of you. You’ve worked so hard. I can’t wait to see.” And she’s serious. She knows some parents who say they’re excited but deep down they don’t care, and she can’t comprehend that. How could you not want to celebrate things with your kid?!

“Alright kiddos. Let’s finish making these brownies so we can properly celebrate all we’ve accomplished today.” Sylvie announces, and both kids rush into the kitchen to continue the work Drew’s started. Matt hangs back and kisses Sylvie’s lips gently.

“I hope your day has been good.”

“It has. Better now that you’re home though.”

And for reference, this is a vague idea of what I imagine them looking like (just slightly more strawberry blonde for Addy, both with blue eyes)

#my fic #brettsey #picture at end for idea of what they look like kind of