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#u shouldnt be truthing anyways !!!!!
stevie-petey · 2 months
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how about steve pov blurb after bug told him she never had her first kiss yet? DOES HE DAYDREAM ABOUT IT???? 🚨🚨🚨🚨
mans brain DEFINITELY broke because bug is so pretty and lovely who WOULDNT wanna kiss her ?? (looking at u jonathan)
enjoy <3
“carter, truth or dare.” steve asks his teammate, taking a swig from his beer. hes at a small get together with the basketball team. jason carvers dad is out of town so he told everyone to bring beer and come over.
its night and the june heat has turned into a cool breeze. nancy is at steves side, he had picked her up right after leaving bookstrordinary today.
“truth.” carter manages to slur out.
steve thinks for a moment. “alright. name the first girl you ever had a crush on.”
its a simple enough question. nothing mean or rude, and nancy leans in close against his side on the couch and takes a swig from steves beer.
hes happy. hes buzzed, nancy smells like lavender, he saw you today, and all is well.
“easy!” carter hiccups. “y/n henderson.”
steve freezes.
“y/n?” nancy finally says her first words tonight at the party.
“yeah, man. still kinda into her, but-but that guy… uh… joshua? jonah? i-i know it started with a j.” carter furrows his brows and concentrates really hard while in his drunken state. “anyways. that guy shes always with. cant talk to her. hes-hes weird.”
nancy chuckles. “his name is jonathan, but they arent together. steve says youre nice, maybe you should talk to her-"
“y/n doesnt like blondes.” steve interrupts, and then immediately wants to shove a foot in his mouth.
why the fuck would he say that?
carter hiccups again. “shes hot. id dye my hair for her.”
nancy pokes steves shoulder. “howd you know that?”
“we talk,” he takes another sip of his beer. “she likes guys who look like peter parker, sorry carter.”
the boy drunkenly waves him off and then stumbles towards the bathroom, leaving nancy and steve alone.
“does y/n really only like brunettes?” nancy asks, slight curiosity in her voice.
steve nods. “yeah, she mentioned it once or twice.”
hes lying.
youve never, ever told steve this.
what you have, however, told steve is that youve never been kissed.
in fact, you told him this today. steve kinda has been thinking about it nonstop.
and carter is nice, sure, but shouldnt your first kiss be with someone special? carters been hit in the head with more basketballs than steve can count. the guy is nice, but a complete idiot.
definitely not worthy enough to be your first kiss.
“interesting, hm.” nancy takes the beer from steves hand and then gets up from the couch. she extends her hand and when he accepts, she pulls him up. “c’mon, lets go dance.”
so they go and they dance and steve forgets about the fact that youve never been kissed. at least for a little while, at least.
and if carter the next day asks steve where you work, well. hes only being a nice guy when he tells his teammate that he doesnt know. you surely wouldnt want some dumb jock annoying you at work.
thats definitely why steve lies.
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actualbird · 18 days
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dear zak sir, pardon me 3am luke thoughts that help me sleep at night.... but have u ever wondered WHAT IS rosa never did reciprocated (romantically) how luke felt for her, like would it be a "oh u don't like me back (that way) i guess that makes it easier for me. u shouldn't love me anyways" or would he be really devastated about it............... (eye eye)
hello anon!! this is a heartwrenching ask! klJBLSKJDFLSD but it also made me think. and the conclusion i ended up with turned out more life-affirming than sad
in a lukerosa universe, if mc does not reciprocate, i dont think that luke would be like.....completely devastated.
of course, i still do think that he wouldnt take it well, especially in the beginning. i think that he would go through a bit of a dark period in life, because in the route where luke does get with mc, it's clearly shown that mc's intervention (which happened due to her developing romantic feelings) is what made him start to turn a new leaf and stop being as self-isolating and self-destructive. he learns to be better because of her love. so if she doesnt reciprocate, i definitely think he'll be Rather Down About It, very much in the way that you describe: "you shouldnt love me anyways" this quiet, almost gentle self-deprecating and self-punishing view of "oh, i deserve this. i deserve to be unloved."
but thats where hes wrong
because i still do believe that even in a world where mc isnt romantically interested in him, that she still obviously loves and cares about him. it may not be in the same way that he loves her, but that love and care is still absolutely real, and still absolutely has the power of change that her romantic love did.
in essence: just because shes not in love with him, doesnt mean she doesnt still love him. she would still want him to live well, to be happy, to take care of himself
and that, i think, would still incite luke to better himself. it'll take a loooooot of work, obvi, but he's never been one to deny his beloved anything, even if it turns out to be one-sided
in addition to all this, my view is that luke's romantic love for mc is like.....not particularly hinged on reciprocity
it just is
he loves her the same way the sun always rises, like universal truth that reveals itself day after day. he loves her the same way he inhales and exhales, he loves her the same way tomorrow will always come. his love is not something that needs to be "paid" or "rewarded", even if that would be nice. his love is simply absolute. no strings attached. luke's love strikes me as "i love you, and it's okay that you dont love me the same way. i still love you and i will always hope that you find happiness and joy."
sorry to reference another media, but it's kinda like in Frieren: luke is very Himmel The Hero-coded when it comes to his love. the same way himmel lived through his whole life and died loving frieren, feeling no resentment yet also no decrease on his love despite never being reciprocated in his lifetime, i see as also luke also loving along this same vein.
he'll need to work on his self-loathing and commit to being a better person to himself, yes, but i dont think it would be the end of his world if he were not loved back romantically
after the initial heartbreak, he will still see that he is loved, be it in different ways
and that makes a difference
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yonpote · 4 months
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under cut cuz i talk too much lol
i am not blaming dan or anything (and obviously this has been a joke in lgbt spaces for forever) but i do think he unintentionally enabled the like "homophobia is a good thing actually" type jokes and like i definitely make them too, and im always seeing jokes on here like "god why are they Like This" etc. but i think some people just dont know the line or view them so much as friends that they don't think about how it could read differently from someone who is essentially a stranger. ive said smth similar before of like, dnp (ESP DAN...) used to be not great at drawing boundaries esp since youtube and social media culture were so different back then, but now even when they draw hard lines ppl either continue to step right over them, or dont understand exactly where the line goes. they dont care if u write smut or dead dove fics, they dont care if u make shippy fanart, but like maybe dont tag them in buttsecks? (or maybe do, idk theyre being so unhinged lately maybe we gotta start @'ing them in catboy porn (JOKING))
i was talking w a friend a little bit ago about the exact differences between the generally speaking philosophies between older fans and younger fans. it seems that older fans embrace creating transformative works and having their own interpretations on who dnp are, whereas younger fans want to know dnp on a personal level and want dnp to know Them and recognize them not just as fans but as people. and OFC there are older phannies who want the parasocial interaction and younger phannies who write fic and people who do neither, and people who do both! (hi :3) but then some people have a difficult time being able to marry the two ideas maybe?
heres the truth. dan and phil are real human beings who have made a career largely off their shared dynamic together, BOTH because they genuinely enjoy creating and being together AND because a lot of people really get invested in it and it makes them more money. they don't mind fic or art, you probably SHOULDNT tag them in the saucy stuff, but they know it's out there and generally have been respectful of fan spaces and knowing where OUR boundaries lie (altho maybe the line was toed w the roblox video but thats debatable.) they really do care about their audience both in order to please us and keep us coming back, AND because they see how much theyve affected us as people and have a deep *Sarapocial Relationship with us.
there are both parasocial AND tranformative ways to break boundaries, and oftentimes they can be one and the same. they aren't our friends they arent our dads and they arent objects with no feelings. they don't stalk our accounts but they are still able to see whatever we post publicly. theyve seen so many horrible things and have had many horrible things happen to them, and while no one can be certain something like that won't happen again, now that they have been able to be more honest with us about a lot of things they are able to trust us a little bit more.
anyway ramble over back to me talking abt how dan should embrace their transness
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whumpshaped · 3 months
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you are so sweet to me I can't handle it 🥲🥲🥲 "a person of many talents." what if I gave you my first born??? what if I gave you all of my animals???
🐘
u should never give me a baby but ... animals... no please dont give me any living being i Will be irresponsible😭 i shouldnt be trusted.
BUT ANYWAY. I SPEAK THE TRUTH
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my biggest ick in online spaces are the hoards of people who treat certain white men as if they are filled with an inherent essence of goodness. Examples r, hank and john green, despite them being once owners of vidcon and honestly just as out of touch as any other middle aged white man who doesn’t care enough to interact with spaces outside of the online places that glorify and uphold them, they are somehow still seen as these inherently good and wholesome people.
Other examples r michael sheen, david tennant, neil gaiman. This is just me being in the good omens fandom so i tend to see a lot of posts positioning them as these wholesome beings because they understand fandom culture wayy better than any other actors/writers who have been in positions similar to them.
And its not like theyve each done anything particularly egregious outside of the typical celebrity things (ignoring covid, ignoring political topics outside of what is currently socially acceptable in white liberal spaces) but it isnt abt if these people have done horrible things or not, and it isn’t about people enjoying them.
It’s about the fact that enjoying them as celebrities is coupled with seeing them as nearly infallible wholesome “unproblematic” people who could never possibly do anything wrong. And although this is obviously a condition of celebrity culture to some extent, we dont often see in tv fandom/online spaces, this kind of culture surround actors/writers/content creators who are nonwhite to the same extent.
I dont think it would be good for it to happen to other people to the same extent anyways because I personally find this way of interacting with celebrities as a form of dehumanization. No one is perfect. Celebrities, no matter how they present themselves to the public, are never who you think they are. They are showing curated snippets of who they want to show themselves to be. I think we as a culture would be much healthier if we acknowledged that and accepted it as a condition of celebrity. I dont think we have to know if our favs are unproblematically perfect wholesome people in order to enjoy them and their work, we should be able to hold the nuance of their humanity and creativity. The world is grey, and that’s ok.
All this of course has an added upon the fact that the only reason it gets to this extent is because of the culture of white supremacy we exist in, that to many people seems almost invisible but still functions as a filter through which people view their favs. Ultimately allowing them to give far more grace to those specific people vs non white people in similar social positions. It’s why when white people upheld like this do something problematic/distasteful/sometimes even literal crimes, it causes suchh cognitive dissonance in their fans, causing them to either completely disparage them OR to completely ignore what has happened, continuing on as usual.
I’ve made posts like this in the past and have gotten backlash from people who I think read all this and think I’m simply trying to say ur favs suck and u shouldnt like them when thats far from the truth. Using and example I named, Ive enjoyed and admired david tennants work for like, literally a decade atp. What im asking for is simply for people to consider the difference between making posts like- “i love/admire this persons work! This person is so hot! Posting pics of people etc” and things like “proof so and so is unproblematic. this person being the most wholesome ever <3.” As well as things like showering celebrities in love for being allies while never talking abt or upholding people actually in the communities they are allied too
It’s abt!! Holding nuance!!
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n0ct0urn1quet · 1 year
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💕 and 💎 for the hyperfixation asks!
wahoo!!!!!!!!!!! yipee!!!!!!!!!
💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!
hmg,..,,. l ,.,,. leafpool,,.,., i just ADORE her so much her story is just so tragic. grew up with a fairly normal life as a medicine cat but ended up not only falling in love with someone and becoming mates with them (which is against the medicine cat code, they're not allowed to have mates) but the guy she fell in love with was also from a different clan (which is against the warrior code, you're only allowed to have mates within your own clan) AND she had kits with him too (which is ALSO again against the medicine cat code, they aren't allowed to have kits either) and starclan Told Her to give up the kits to her sister squirrelflight who raised them as her own n then!!!!!! the kits found out that squirrelflight and her mate brambleclaw werent their birth parents!!!!!!!!!!!! and leafpool's daughter hollyleaf finds out that leafpool and crowfeather of windclan are the parents of hollyleaf (and her siblings jayfeather and lionblaze) and firestar, thunderclan's leader AND leafpool + squirrelflight's daughter, punishes them BOTH and leafpool is forced to stop being the medicine cat while jayfaether (her son and her apprentice) takes over. and hollyleaf runs off into the tunnels and is presumed dead until the 2nd to last book of the 4th series where she comes back but. she dies!!! in the last book!!!!!! and i hate that she dies bc i so badly wanted her to come back and be a thunderclan warrior and maybe become deputy or something but noOooOoOOOo they killed her off and left the much less interesting jayfeather and lionblaze alive instead KALSJKLKLJG.... anyways after that leafpool becomes the med cat again with jayfeather and she's just kinda there until . she dies in a rockslide with her sister squirrelflight and goes to starclan and has this whole "trial" thing where starclan cats, the SAME ONES who TOLD HER she was DOING THE RIGHT THING WHEN SHE HAD HER KITS, AND THE ONES WHO TOLD HER TO GIVE UP THE KITS, were like "u should have told the truth!!!! actually u shouldnt have had kits in the first place!!!!!!!" and yk whats so funny. the cats who said that were moth flight, the clan's first ever medicine cat, and yellowfang, a former shadowclan turned thunderclan medicine cat. and yknow what? THEY BOTH HAD KITS IN THEIR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEY WERE THE ONES WHO TOLD LEAFPOOL "u should give up ur kits,,,,,, ur doing the right thing by bringing these kits into the world,,,,,,,"!!!!!! and now they were essentially liek "u should have NEVER had kits!!!!!!!!!! u should have NEVER lied to the clans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now we're gonna send you to kitty cat hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". THANKFULLY though. she did not get sent to kitty cat hell. and in fact was allowed into starclan. but its so shitty that starclan told her to give up her kits, told her that she was only following her heart and doing what was right, only for leafpool to die and have them suddenly be like "oh yeah uh actually that was bad and wrong? go to hell" KJLALJKG... (also squirrelflight coms back 2 life and she lives but leafpool is . still dead and im so sad :()
(buuut also nightheart, a character from the most recent series, IS another one of my favorite characters. like right up there next to leafpool. hes my poor sopping wet little angsty-teen meow meow and i love him very very much!)
💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?
yes <3 lots of them!
tigerclaw's original name was going to be hammerclaw, but was changed bc cats dont know what hammers are !
rootspring's warrior name was chosen by the fans from a poll on the official website ! !!! the options were rootspring, rootspirit, rootfall, and rootwing !
dovewing's eye color is an Inside Joke within the fandom bc. throughout the 4th and 6th arcs (skipping the 5th bc its a prequel arc) her eye color would switch from being blue to being green back to blue and then to gold at one point, then back to blue and now they're officially green. and ONLY grreen
on the warrior cats wiki there is a whole entire section dedicated to listing every single error in all of the books. i donot think theres been a SINGLE warrior cats book that doesnt have at least one error in it , and these errors can range from simple pelt/eye color/gender mistakes, typos in names or words, or even calling a cat by the wrong name (such as accidentally calling him tigerpaw instead of tigerstar), there are also lots of. retcons! tigerheart in one book will say "i was never around for the great dark forest battle..." even though he litearlly participated in it and was alive WAY way way way before it even happened. its ridiculous but its to be expected when you have a series this big with 50+ characters in thunderclan ALONE that you have to keep track of
in addition to the last fact, the authors actually use the fan wiki, the same one i was just talking about, when writing their books. now tahts not a BAD thing but yknow as an author should you not have. like. your OWN source? of knowledge??? insteasd of going to a fanmade wiki thats using information that could be retconned BY the authors at any time ???? lmao??????????
anyways
thats all ik thats a lot so have fun reading thru all of that LKASKLJKLG
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sincerely-krp · 1 month
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@ the genkrp anon who wishes other ppl in the space write like they used to: the truth of it imo is if u really want to grow as a writer, you have to branch out. I'm no longer in the krpc, and i feel like most of the ppl who avidly wrote then and actually developed their muses have tapered and branched off since 2016/2017. As a general observation, ur just not gonna get much out gen muses bc they're prime for self-inserts, and i think most of the rpc has an inherent problem of treating their rp partners like personal fic machines anyway. And in general (i mean this constructively!), if ur serious on wanting to develop ur writing, genkrp is just not the conducive space for it, sorry. For encouragement, i didnt rp in years since dipping out of krp and one day decided to dip into non-krp spaces, and it was very easy to get a hang of. I think u shouldnt be scared bc more often than not, ppl are usually very keen to write with u! May you someday find a writing space regardless tho
・❥・
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pesterloglog · 3 months
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Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert
Act 6, page 7108-7112
ROXY: so
ROXY: all that wind
ROXY: that was you right
JOHN: yes.
ROXY: hmmmmm
ROXY: i dont see any glitchy trash
ROXY: guess your humongous blowy spell did away with all that grody nonsense?
JOHN: oh.
JOHN: yeah, i guess you're right.
JOHN: i didn't even notice until you just mentioned it, but yeah, i guess that dumb problem is finally busted.
JOHN: thank god!
ROXY: fo real
ROXY: i heard music 2
ROXY: did u hear music?
JOHN: yes, that was me too.
JOHN: i was playing a magic organ.
ROXY: oh relay
JOHN: yes, see, there's this huge organ...
ROXY: that is almost certainly what she said
ROXY: WONK
JOHN: oh, shush. :p
JOHN: anyway, this huge PIPE organ...
JOHN: it let me play the breeze, so to speak.
JOHN: i think that was the only way to get rid of all those clouds, and let the fire flies go home.
ROXY: this is their home huh
JOHN: i guess so?
JOHN: i am surprised by how my quest turned out too, to be honest.
ROXY: it is kinda bittersweet
ROXY: seeing all of twinkly herberts bros and sisters going home
JOHN: twinkly who?
ROXY: my pet firefly
ROXY: im guessin this is where he was from
JOHN: oh.
ROXY: they all seem happy though
ROXY: look at em all blinkin away
ROXY: into the blank ass yonder
JOHN: heh.
ROXY: why is the sky blank btw
JOHN: it's blank because it's...
JOHN: nothing.
ROXY: nothing
ROXY: why is it nothing
ROXY: where even are we
JOHN: it's nothing because we are literally nowhere.
ROXY: uh
ROXY: ok how can you tell its actually a field of nothingness
ROXY: as opposed to just a bunch of regular empty space that happens to look vaguely neutral
JOHN: how can i tell?
JOHN: i guess i just can.
ROXY: no but how
JOHN: why don't you ask yourself!
JOHN: you're the one who asked me why it was blank in the first place.
JOHN: so why did you choose the term "blank" in your question?
ROXY: .....
ROXY: DAMN
ROXY: owned @ the philosophies
JOHN: so owned.
JOHN: you will find i am the best there is at those.
ROXY: is true
ROXY: im always gettin owned at those by you and ur kin
ROXY: recently your crazy dog sister was schoolin me on perfectly generic cubes
JOHN: you mean generic objects.
ROXY: generic fort blox :p
JOHN: yes.
ROXY: now u are droppin truth bombs about blank skies on me
ROXY: shouldnt i be like innately stellar at this sorta stuff as a void player
ROXY: must be comin off slow as fuck on the uptake here arent i
JOHN: not really.
JOHN: you seem pretty smart to me.
ROXY: i do
JOHN: yeah.
JOHN: you have a funny and snappy way of talking, like dave.
JOHN: but unlike that knucklehead, i sense that behind all your jokes, you are probably some kind of brainiac, like rose.
ROXY: whow
JOHN: don't get me wrong, i meant knucklehead in a good way.
JOHN: dave is actually the best dude, you would like him.
ROXY: i bet you are correct
ROXY: so dave...
ROXY: hes uhhhhhh
ROXY: my son right??
JOHN: argh!
ROXY: !
JOHN: i mean. yes, pretty much.
JOHN: honestly, it gets weird to think about all our relations in that way sometimes.
ROXY: i getcha
ROXY: like when i think about u and wolfjade being the kids of jane and jake i...
ROXY: i...
ROXY: omfg
ROXY: that SO CUTE :3
JOHN: um.
ROXY: so what is it u thinks weird about dave being my son?
JOHN: i think we should just change the subject!
ROXY: ahaha alright
ROXY: what were we talking about again
JOHN: we were talking about blank skies and fort blocks and such.
ROXY: oh yis
JOHN: and you thought you should know more about things like that as a void hero...
JOHN: which reminds me.
JOHN: do you think you are any closer to making that alien egg?
ROXY: hmn
JOHN: i mean, after seeing nix.
JOHN: did you feel, like, a power boost or anything?
ROXY: a power boost???
ROXY: like mega man or
JOHN: no, not like mega man.
JOHN: i mean, like...
ROXY: youre askin if she taught me to do the voidey thing
JOHN: well, did she?
ROXY: naw dude
ROXY: i told you
ROXY: we did our chat in some horseshit elven baloney tongue
ROXY: and she just told me to come here
ROXY: like thats literally it
ROXY: "go to planet if u want to live"
ROXY: so i did
ROXY: there wasnt really any soul searching or gettin in touch with my inner miracles
JOHN: oh.
JOHN: well that's kind of a bummer.
JOHN: i hope you weren't shortchanged out of an important mystical and spiritual process of self discovery.
ROXY: pfffahahaha
JOHN: ?
ROXY: pfhehehehehehehehe
JOHN: what?
ROXY: sorry its just
ROXY: sometimes you sound so much like jake its rly quite uncanny
ROXY: but yeah i dont care about that really
ROXY: it was either take an uneventful and nonspiritual trip to a wind planet, or just stop existing altogether
ROXY: i think ill be fine without the self discovery part
JOHN: yeah.
JOHN: or...
JOHN: wait.
JOHN: what if this was part of it?
ROXY: part of what
JOHN: your quest?
JOHN: like, to be here, and learn to use your powers better?
JOHN: we are kind of in a realm of literal nothingness right now.
JOHN: maybe you will be able to draw energy or inspiration from the void, or whatever?
ROXY: NIX.......
ROXY: why u sly old bitch
JOHN: does that make sense?
ROXY: it kind of does
ROXY: it kind of LOADS of does
JOHN: oh, sweet!
JOHN: i was just grasping at straws there, but now that you agree, i'm suddenly a lot more confident in my theory.
ROXY: heheh yeah (...jake)
JOHN: so why don't you try it out again?
ROXY: what
ROXY: the egg?
ROXY: like right now?
JOHN: sure?
ROXY: meh tbh im a bit sick of tryin to summon that ugly damn egg
ROXY: how about later??
ROXY: i would rather just keep bee essing with u for a while rather than get right down to freakin business
JOHN: i guess there's really no hurry.
JOHN: not in this place at least.
JOHN: i don't think this place has any bearing on other time lines.
JOHN: it's almost like...
JOHN: like taking a time out from our canonical lives.
JOHN: so if you wanted, you could take as much time to practice here as you need.
ROXY: im down as heck with that
ROXY: could use a breather from my canonical life
JOHN: me too.
JOHN: even though...
JOHN: i'm not sure i have one anymore?
ROXY: hmm
ROXY: well since we already talked about MY quest...
ROXY: and like spiritual mega man style power boosts and all
ROXY: what about yours
ROXY: howd that go
JOHN: how'd it go?
JOHN: pretty well, i'd say.
ROXY: no but
ROXY: i know you blew away some clouds and blanked out the sky and all
ROXY: but the point was so you could learn to control your zappy powers
ROXY: did you?
JOHN: i think so.
JOHN: but i haven't really tried a controlled jump yet.
ROXY: i c
ROXY: well when you do
ROXY: where do you think youll jump to first
JOHN: i have no idea.
JOHN: the thought of changing the time line is still mind boggling to me.
ROXY: well if nothin else
ROXY: u really should go grab that ring
ROXY: before the smug troll can take it
ROXY: i mean there was lots of problems already but her comin back to life really fucked us over to the shittiest max possible
JOHN: that's right!
JOHN: i definitely wanted to go back and get the ring off my couch before i lost it.
JOHN: at the very least, that way you can use it to help your friend.
ROXY: yup!
ROXY: any other ideas?
JOHN: not yet.
JOHN: so much has happened, it's hard to even think about.
JOHN: and it's not even limited to what i've been through, either.
JOHN: i've seen a lot of other crazy stuff, just from my random jumps.
ROXY: like what
JOHN: like...
JOHN: like the last place i was, actually.
JOHN: just before i came back, to find your session in ruins.
JOHN: haha. i actually got into a pretty serious fight.
ROXY: o?
JOHN: with this guy.
JOHN: a skull kid.
JOHN: he's a huge asshole, and a horrible artist.
ROXY: u saw the skull kids drawins?
JOHN: unfortunately.
JOHN: in fact, i was in his drawings once.
JOHN: it was a true nightmare come to life.
ROXY: D:
JOHN: i am pretty much convinced he is the guy behind all of the problems we ever had, even though he is a complete ignoramus.
ROXY: then you mean
ROXY: it was callies bro
JOHN: yeah, probably.
JOHN: i have a feeling some day we will all have to take him down.
JOHN: but...
JOHN: probably when he grows up to be his adult self.
JOHN: when i beat him up, he was just a teen scamp, like us.
JOHN: but with a skull for a head, a robot leg, a cape which i ripped to shreds, and a pair of dumb suspenders.
ROXY: you beat him up????
ROXY: daaamn
ROXY: yall must be STRONG
JOHN: meh, not particularly.
JOHN: i was just really angry, and i caught him off guard drawing some shitty animes.
ROXY: ahahahahaha
ROXY: fuck his animes
JOHN: they were quite literally the worst animes i have ever seen.
JOHN: i hope i hurt his drawing hand, and he never does any more ugly art for the rest of his stupid immortal skull monster life.
ROXY: yeah
ROXY: i know that guy
ROXY: he used to troll my friends all the time
ROXY: wait no
ROXY: used to "jeer" us
ROXY: he was a tool
JOHN: hmm, it just occurred to me...
JOHN: aside from fixing the time line, there's another benefit to my new power.
JOHN: once we all decide we're ready to fight him, i can just zap us all right to him.
JOHN: we could take him by surprise again.
JOHN: i really doubt he'd be able to handle us if we all clobbered him at once!
ROXY: thats pretty good thinkin
ROXY: but um
ROXY: maybe were getting ahead of ourselves here
ROXY: makin plans 4 rumble royale with mangaka dudebro, lord of the shitwanks
ROXY: we should probably focus on bringing our loved ones back to life first
JOHN: ...
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shi-kiori · 1 year
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Note 11: Outbursts
Today, i've realized that neglect is a powerful friend yet enemy.
I feel like growing up, i had to get used to the fact that a lot of people surrounding me were emotionally unavailable or constipated in sharing affection and in expressing feelings. someone always had to do a grand outburst and suddenly it would be like that never happened. now that im older, im realizing that its those things that chain u in the neck as u mature.
my brother broke down today because of a break up in a serious relationship. it kind of rattled everyone at home. i couldnt even process what just happened only that i felt like i had to be there for him. but its the aftermath that i couldnt comprehend beyond me. i called my parents shortly after that to share and it didnt even feel like anything new at the fact that they were so quick to dismiss it and move on; that we couldn't do anything about it. and while it does hold truth to it, its that sweet, deceiving taste of neglect that lingers in my mouth as im typing this. im at a loss, i dont know how to make of what im feeling inside.
im angry, but i understand. im disappointed yet i understand. i feel like i want to help though i understand why i shouldnt.
i wanted to get so angry at my mom then and there because this is the exact reason why people like my brother break down so grandly. people at home dont know how to express feelings that are too intense, too sad, too angry. everyones so quick to dismiss and say its not a big deal. and this is the type of home ive grown up to. we can lie to each other and say that we are emotionally in-tune with each other but the simple truth is that we arent.
im....i want to say im frustrated but i cant even bring myself to be because its just happened so many times that it feels better to emotionally numb myself to people like my parents. theyre never gonna change the way they are and im not asking them to anyways. its just a weird pill to swallow when it happens to people like my brother who cries the way like the day he was born. it feels like all the air is punched out of ur lungs and u feel like ur on fire but the slow burning kind. i can vouch that its not any better.
all this childhood trauma just makes u laugh because of how cliche it is. emotionally distant parents, all the siblings struggling to empathize with one another and lastly, there being no space to talk about things, to unpack.
its probably the worst feeling in the world to lose control of the situation and thats how i felt earlier today. you almost want to just pinch a part of ur skin if its that whats gonna make u feel like ur holding on to something.
anyways, point in blank is that id have to admit that i was afraid for the first time, ever. i realized that he only felt that way and reacted that way was because nobody at home made him feel like it was ever okay to let it out in front of others. my parents say they do but from what ive seen all theyve ever done for my brother in times like that was make him feel like his relationship problems are nothing major. and while there is truth to that, ive learned that it does sound invalidating. and nobody ever wants to feel that way.
the eldest daughter saga continues for me, once again im forced to numb myself in the ice that is my family's emotions.
--end--
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Note
good morning (or day), lovie!! hope you read it in the morning bc well... the 3 hours difference. truly, you shouldnt be worried about receiving my messages earlier but rather about receiving them later.. i usually answer you before going to sleep. actually, you shouldnt be worried at all yk. 'just say yes even tho you dont know him' i know him!! i learnt whos he bc of your fics!! actually, it reminds me of my cat. her name was busya which is a short name of the word means 'the bead'. but yeah, this kitty looks like that guy hdjfsk 'i felt like i was the main character' lol its amusing how THAT labour made you feel. but valid. anything you feel is ok. when i do this kind of work, i just feel irritated. (there was a big story about men being disappointment) hope you got some rest after that! and hope you still like the way you performed. i know you did your best. 'ITS SO FUNNY YOU CALL CATS WITH KISKIS' we just want some kisses from these cute monsters are we wrong for this? 'you can be my muning mingming kitty kitty cat cat' my honour, catmom!! my star hour! meow meow!! thank u!! in russian we say 'kwa or kwak' for the frogs' sounds. it's more like your variant and i think the truth is somewhere in between? for me frogs sound more like 'kwoa' or even 'qua'. but ribbit?? wtf guys?? 'WE CAN CALL IT WFAL' it sounds so ridiculous TT no really but i cant send too long messages and its title is pretty long yk. 'i love how passionate you are to vocabulary and language' no but really!! i actually curse a lot in real life. i've always been that 'smart kid' whos now burnt out and an a-marks-only student (idk how they call it). so people expect me to speak like a noble lady? its such a great number of such expressive words. why hate them for just being bad (i'm not trying to convince you cursing isn't ugly. you can think of it whatever you do. i just got carried away again TT). in general, words are only instruments to communicate with, so their meaning only depends on how a speaking person sees them. anyway, do you want me to stop cursing in the messages? 'I HOPE YOURE NOT SENDING ME MESSAGES IN EARLY-LATE HOURS' it's 5:01 in where i live. and now yk you're +3 h for me so... 'when he dies im like, u deserved it tho' god bless your nerves and god bless him. happy for you, though. and hes sexy. 'this is him he likes literature i think you’d like him' nah i dont like literature that much (sometimes i hate it) and he's not my type. but i'm happy for your luckiness! 'I WILL KEEP LEVELING HIM UP BECAUSE I LOVE HIM' omg puppy boys TT puppy boys are cute. good luck for you both!! alhaitham poor boy... hope he'll improve and will be good for you. oh i love diluc too!! i dont know him but 1) his face doesnt annoy me (im judgemental if you remember) 2) i love how people headcanon him. so hope he behaves good for you. good luck to bad luck (HAH am i funy mom) bennet. it's good you like hanging out with him, i believe your words. waiting for the girls!! 'you wanna talk about it?' not really, just wanted to share my feelings. 'i dont care about what people think about what i read' nah i'm not judging. as long as it doesnt concern me idc what you write or read. just said what i feel abt it all. i watched helluva boss in 2 days and i'm satisfied. it's good. got my approval. hell theme is still somewhat fresh and it also gives so many ways to interpret it. 'youre talking about that fic i reblogged right?' YEAH dhdjdj big brains get the hints. WOULD YOU BE SURPRISED if i said i also sent that author an ask about sugar daddy daemon after reading the other hcs about sugar daddy aegon, aemond and jace... yeah im better with my fever but still exhausted and my nose is stuffy TT every time i dont feel well the first thing to happen is my nose being stuffed *lots of angry emojis but also crying bc it hurts*. hope you do better!! how are the classes? how do you feel? whats the weather like? do you plan anything for today/sunday? love you! take care <з
hello my muning <3 T_T. i had your message on my browser but i kept doing different things LOL
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LOOK AT THIS FLOOF
hope you read it in the morning bc well... the 3 hours difference. truly, you shouldnt be worried about receiving my messages earlier but rather about receiving them later..
T_T i did not read this in the morning. I saw it in the morning but again i kept getting distracted. I DID MAKE A COVER THOUGH AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF I SOUND SO GOOD BUT IDK I WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU BUT JUST WITH YOU
ok i found a solution im going to answer your ask privately for this one (: nvm theres not an option to answer privately because ur on anon T_T anyway its fine
i usually answer you before going to sleep. actually, you shouldnt be worried at all yk.
ok i wont be worried then i trust u
'just say yes even tho you dont know him' i know him!! i learnt whos he bc of your fics!! actually, it reminds me of my cat. her name was busya which is a short name of the word means 'the bead'. but yeah, this kitty looks like that guy hdjfsk
i figured you knew him cos of my fics but not really since that's all u know HAHHAH i mean unless you read a bunch of them then sequentially got an idea of what his character is, at least how i perceive him. BUSYA T_T so cute kitty a pretty black cat <3 im luv
'i felt like i was the main character' lol its amusing how THAT labour made you feel. but valid. anything you feel is ok. when i do this kind of work, i just feel irritated. (there was a big story about men being disappointment) hope you got some rest after that! and hope you still like the way you performed. i know you did your best.
i didnt perform at all lolol i hope i can next time we set up. some of my classmates got to perform. the labor made me feel like the main character because we were setting up the stage! and it was in the middle (ok not middle but you feel me) of the cafeteria and the performace was peak lunch time so we were setting up and everyone was looking (well i mean not AT me but at what we were doing collectively as a class) but still i felt like the main character cos im always hot when i go to school <3 🤩😌💅
lol everyones different if you feel irritated doing manual labor then that means manual labor is just not for you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk i think i get it from my dad i feel kind of like a sense of purpose when i build things kinda. i mean it was tiring but fun HAHAHHAH OH OMG I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THE BEST PART WE GOT 2 FREE MEALS HAHAHHAHHAHAH SLLLAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY i ate so much and then bought myself a donut
NOM NOM I LOVE FOOD
'ITS SO FUNNY YOU CALL CATS WITH KISKIS' we just want some kisses from these cute monsters are we wrong for this?
not at all. i now think russian is the superior language because of this 😔✊ english could never (although its ironic i think its superior because kiskis sound like kiss kiss which is english AHAHHAHAH)
'you can be my muning mingming kitty kitty cat cat' my honour, catmom!! my star hour! meow meow!! thank u!!
MEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
omg look at this cat i found on pinterest
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T_T WHY MY BABY BUILT LIKE THAT GIGA CHAD? IM - CRYING WHYYYYY ITS SO FUNNY BUT ALSO I FEEL BADDDDDDD T_T
in russian we say 'kwa or kwak' for the frogs' sounds. it's more like your variant and i think the truth is somewhere in between? for me frogs sound more like 'kwoa' or even 'qua'. but ribbit?? wtf guys??
T_T CRYING KWA KWAK KWOA QUA ARE ALL SO CUTE FOR LITTLE WIBBIT FRAWGS T_T
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yeah ribbit is like ?????????? but nah russian fr superior for this too. since russian frog sounds and filipino frogs sounds are similar, maybe that means russians are secretly filipino and filipinos are secretly russian
'WE CAN CALL IT WFAL' it sounds so ridiculous TT no really but i cant send too long messages and its title is pretty long yk.
HAHAHAH THE TITLE IS LONG BLAME IT ON FALL OUT BOY I GOT NAMING THINGS LONG FROM THEM AHHHAHHAAH i love making obnoxiously long titles HAHAHAH
'i love how passionate you are to vocabulary and language' no but really!! i actually curse a lot in real life. i've always been that 'smart kid' whos now burnt out and an a-marks-only student (idk how they call it). so people expect me to speak like a noble lady? its such a great number of such expressive words. why hate them for just being bad (i'm not trying to convince you cursing isn't ugly. you can think of it whatever you do. i just got carried away again TT). in general, words are only instruments to communicate with, so their meaning only depends on how a speaking person sees them. anyway, do you want me to stop cursing in the messages?
honestly i dont think youve ever cursed in any of our messages yet so the fact ur telling me you curse a lot irl is pretty wow to me AHAHH. its funny how youre advocating for curse words HAHAHH i mean its pretty obvious to me that youre a smart person, but as a fellow smart person, i know that that doesnt mean youre like this soft spoken noble person LOL in fact it would make more sense if its opposite.
anyway i believe in the power of words and we manifest what we speak so i think its only natural to assume that if you speak a lot of curses you are manifesting that and i dont want that. also The words of a man's mouth are deep waters. i dont want my waters to be murky and gross ew. 👎 L
'I HOPE YOURE NOT SENDING ME MESSAGES IN EARLY-LATE HOURS' it's 5:01 in where i live. and now yk you're +3 h for me so...
T_T sleep better T_T
'when he dies im like, u deserved it tho' god bless your nerves and god bless him. happy for you, though. and hes sexy.
HAHAHH T_T justice for zhongli T_T
'this is him he likes literature i think you’d like him' nah i dont like literature that much (sometimes i hate it) and he's not my type. but i'm happy for your luckiness!
i audibly gasped when you said he wasnt your type. T_T also you hate literature? ?????? SCAMMER DOES THAT MEAN YOU JUST LOVE ME???? in that case T_T im luv u
'I WILL KEEP LEVELING HIM UP BECAUSE I LOVE HIM' omg puppy boys TT puppy boys are cute. good luck for you both!!
so true im luv him T_T
alhaitham poor boy... hope he'll improve and will be good for you.
me too. his dialogue is giving know it all so if he keeps dying on me im going to put him on my hitlist HAHAHH
oh i love diluc too!! i dont know him but 1) his face doesnt annoy me (im judgemental if you remember) 2) i love how people headcanon him. so hope he behaves good for you.
i cry for diluc im luv him i havent played his plotline yet so T_T but he's so emo if i got it right and HAHAAHAH HIS FACE DOESNT ANNOY YOU DANG AHHAHAHAHH SLAY DILUC THE PRETTIES BOY EVAH HAHAAHHA
good luck to bad luck (HAH am i funy mom) bennet. it's good you like hanging out with him, i believe your words.
i love bennet T_T i dont play him as much as i used to know because i have diluc now but i still love him <3 you are .000001 funny HAHAHHA ok ok like 1/2 funny HAHAH
waiting for the girls!!
ok i literally oppened genshin for this AHAAH
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ok this is lisa. she used to be my fave i kinda grew out of her but im starting to fall in love with her again she op <3 also her general character is such a vibe AHHAAH
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this is xiangling. i remember using her for the first and her level was pretty low compared to my other characters but she sLAYED regardless and i have no idea to play this game anyway so my characters are all weak (according to my brothers who play 'optimally') so yeah theres that but i love her cos she shooq me with her debut in my account
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this is jean she is the general of the mondstat ting thing i havent played in so long i forgot NVM KNIGHTS OF FAVONIUS and she a boss shes one of my strongest characters /: cos everytime i wish on the banner thing to get characters i keep getting her (so i secretly hate her) but i love her she heals me and carries me and im so sorry i dont hate you my love im just T_T i dont value you because i have you T_T im so sorry jean m love
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I KEEP FORGETTING TO TALK ABOUT THE CAT I STOOD THER TO SHOW YOU THE CAT IN GAME LOOK AT THE KITTY HAHAH i focused more on the cat then showing the character HAHAAHH i have to keep adjusting the camera because the dialogue option keeps appearing and ///: its annoying.
anyway this is yelan she's also op because like xiangling i played her though she was low level and she still ate more so now that ive been able to level her up a bit
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anyway since i told you about the dialogue thing whatever its there now but its not even for that cat you cant talk to this cat T_T this is sayu she sleepy 24/7 and i love her for that she is my child idk i just like her cos shes such a mood and a child lol AHHAHAHAHAH she is my child i love her shes also a REALLY strong child and so adorable when she runs. i wanted another character thats a child, her name is klee, but i didnt get her so when i got sayu i was so happy
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this is amber. i used to hate her T_T idk cos she was weak but then she got annoying ???? but now i love her cos i realized she was weak cos i was weak im so sorry baby hAHAAHAHHAH
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this is xinyan, my bro says people hate her cos shes like a useless character in all senses but i love her cos shes a musician <3 like me HAHAHAH shes pretty weak tho so i dont use her much HAHAHAHHAHAH
lastly noelle my first beloved
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i love how it took me so long to do this its morning in the game again HAHHHAHAAHh anyway i dont use noelle anymore because i have zhongli and his shield is way better than hers but she was the first person that protected me (tbh i didnt even know it AHHHAHHA i was just using her cos she was pretty man fr i have no idea how to play this game im just going with vibes and aesthetics AHAHHA) and yeah and shes a real mvp for that.
'you wanna talk about it?' not really, just wanted to share my feelings.
ok then <3
'i dont care about what people think about what i read' nah i'm not judging. as long as it doesnt concern me idc what you write or read. just said what i feel abt it all.
HAHHAHHHAHHAHAH ok
i watched helluva boss in 2 days and i'm satisfied. it's good. got my approval. hell theme is still somewhat fresh and it also gives so many ways to interpret it.
hell theme is fresh AHAHHAH babes maybe its fresh to you but works like dante's inferno exists AHHHAHAHHA (im not tryna be a know it all it's genuinely just funny to me HAHHHA)
'youre talking about that fic i reblogged right?' YEAH dhdjdj big brains get the hints. WOULD YOU BE SURPRISED if i said i also sent that author an ask about sugar daddy daemon after reading the other hcs about sugar daddy aegon, aemond and jace...
THEY HAVE OTHER SUGAR DADDIES AHSF:ASHFFH:ASFHAHF OMWWWWW HAHHHAAH. im not surprised at all. you seem to be the type to send asks. idk theres something about the idea of sending an ask that makes me anxious so yeah i rarely send asks but i have been sending more as of late because of my beautiful lovelies
yeah im better with my fever but still exhausted and my nose is stuffy TT every time i dont feel well the first thing to happen is my nose being stuffed *lots of angry emojis but also crying bc it hurts*.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 i hope you feel better completely baby T_T i know how annoying it is to have a stuffy nose cos when that happens to me it takes so long to go away and im allergic to dust so T_T RIP
hope you do better!! how are the classes? how do you feel? whats the weather like? do you plan anything for today/sunday? love you! take care <з
i feel kinda sleep rn HASHFAS ITS 10 pm now Hhlashfdlasfh ahfalsfsa the weather is cold but ur russian so you probably would slap me and say YOU THINK THAT COLD HAHHAHHHA but yeah. i have assignments i will do tomorrow i have to watch a movie /: and im too lazy to do it but ill do it tomorrow rip. thats my plans on sunday so yeah
i love you <3
i was planning to write for wafl today but im too lazy. cant it just aslha/sf write itself T_T SO LAME FOR THAT
xxx
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princessclai · 1 year
Text
because i am a black widow and brown recluse
arachnid princess
and hybrids and millibrids
I don't know the rest.
etc "
million bride form and i chase you every time
sam and cam c see macon
Fallen Angel Love Triangle
with
dominance and submission
but I'm not an angel. I'm a human until I don't have free will. lol but etc
maybe they make pattern out of 10hr creation poem to categorize me Bukowski
ily bukowski
russiantrashy
ilyrussianshinytrash
diamondintheroughihope
blackdiamondinthesnow
whoknows
Antarctica frostbite hypothermia and die but fire make diamond so maybe antartica make black diamond i hope so
call the greedy conquistadors lol im sure it was genetic until me at least morons
hope it isnt a love triangle between parents and son but at least I'll never meet those descended from and those who will descend from me
... but still they me still and the fathers who u prevented bc i know word proof evidence etc
they not happy u stole our babies lol
as american military potentially christian
too dirty too immoral etc
u in big big trouble someday
mommy and daddy may not love me but
i love mommy black widow
maybe I'm the only one who loves that widow
great
now i have arachnidblackwidowamor so far ugh as brownrecluse hermit antisocial shy girl ugh
omg it looks bad at the federal and cia level and global level omg
i shouldnt have said that cam i shouldn't have looked to the left every time i told the truth ugh omg statistics and stereotypes dumb blondes
i need sherpa beach as hermit crab bc i was human crab and sand hurt my eyes and i was homeless and i cant see without my contacts and sand embedded in them but maybe sand vulture thought my eyes were dead or maybe sand wanted to play slightly pink vanilla bdsm lol chris is sand and sand blonde is sand blonde but omg chris what happened to ur EQ me a snitch i guess premeditated idiot losers fbi cia idiots global terrorism war on drugs war on terrorism sex trafficking human trafficking very sad chris very sad but happy i saw the beauty of ur diversity u didnt deserve lol as Spanish ugh i can't believe bad EQ made me perfectionist again but not my mistake to fix bc i cant ugh no one ever gets a punishment except me and i didn't do anything wrong but somehow i did idk who is playing bdsm games with me lol but i need to know hard and soft limits instead of let my dominant kill me bc im suicidal again bc of him etc well spiritual bdsm with a mistake lol but still maybe he waited too late and i had to be as loyal to him as jesus was to God
oops punish me again idiots at religious level
im blasphemy again
i have one soulmate
me and him
him and me
Him and his version of me I consented to
submissive me and dominant him
submissive her and dominant him
anyway i quit lol romanticism a long time ago and being pessimistic cynic realist sadist deathist extinctmyselfist
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whumpshaped · 2 years
Note
tw: cult and killing, also drugs ig?
so there's this part of the story in Miss Peregrine's where they go to an underground place where there's like a fight club where peculiars, people with powers, and monsters fight
and aside from that they also have this drug called ambrosia which when consumed heightens the users power for a time but comes with detrimental side effects
ngl looking back the book was really dark ;_; had stuff like talking beheaded head on a stick ;_; bruh how tf did 10 year old me read that and just go ok and wasn't traumatized-anyway back to the topic
so I thought about broadening the topic in my story using that idea
so there's going to be people who think that they shouldn't have to control their power because it's theirs and they don't owe that to anyone so them fighting each other is like their way of showing that their power is theirs and that they're going to use it how they want it
and with the drug thing I thought about maybe making different drugs that do different things, the current one I thought of was drugs that suppress your power for a time so you can live life without worrying about it, it's in the black market and illegal because many people think powers are a blessing and should be used etc
so what do you think
I also had this other idea of where someone with a healing power comes across the dying cousin of MC who just had their power taken and when they're revived they have no more powers and is like taken in by people who want to overthrow the government etc because they think the cousin is special bcos they have no power and they become like a cult with people having them become their "god"
because they're the first person in existence to turn away from the "gift" given by the "almighty god" which is their power and they follow them and do their bidding so that someday they can have their powers taken away too because they're desperate
and there are going to be a few people who cousin trust and they're going to tell those people they trust the truth of how they lost their power so there are people who are like spies and they try to find the guy who's power is taking that of others etc and idk but like imagine this dramatic thing where they catch him and use him for a while and the most loyal followers had this death ritual to take away their powers
which was by killing and healing them again, which is like rebirth, that they were born into a new life through death because they were literally killed and healed and now have no power
yes yes i support the drug idea!!!! we love some illegal black market drugs. and thats so real too like if u have ppl w such amazing powers there r gonna be a rebel group who think it shouldnt be suppressed... the superiority complex...
THE CULT???? OMG NOT THAT LITTLE BITCH BOY BEING TREATED AS A GOD BC THEY ALMOST GOT KILLED. HORRIBLE. but also the rebirth ritual is so good im such a sucker for that omg
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biboyhalo · 1 year
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this is going to make me sound like a crazy person but i’m gen worried about gaslighting myself into thinking dnf is real or caring about their relationship status too much to the point that i’d be devastated if they ended up with other people i was a normal dnfer before the meet up but now theyve met and live together everything feels so much more real i feel like i’m living out one of those feeling realisation dnf fanfics except i’m the one freaking out and pulling away not them
ik youre probably looking for reassurance abt dnf being real but i think u just need to face it head on. i get hyperfixation and emotional investment and parasocialism but at the end of the day u shouldnt have ur life ruled by gamer boys. try and think about ur life if it turns out that dnf is not real. what would change in YOUR life.
would u still want to engage in dream content? george content? would you move and try and find another ship? do u have social media? did u truth dnf on social media? how would u react on there, would u disappear or laugh abt being wrong? if youd want to leave and not engage in the content, why? are u in here only for dnf or do u like other aspects of the fandom? try and answer all ur own problems and worries NOW. if you feel like you're too invested right now, you need to doom to yourself a little i think. its not the end of the world if dnf dont get together, remember that.
in any case, if they do end up not getting together, if anything that i truthed about ends up not being real, I'll still be here laughing at past me and continuing blogging about my faves, so you'd always be welcome here to talk to someone that gets it shjshsjs.
anyway this is long and convoluted idk if i even got my point accriss but. tldr GET YO LIFE TOGETHER BABE
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verytendou · 3 years
Text
😔.
#i keep wanting to make jokes abt business men in their natural habitat bc i got first class from standby#on my flight back home the other day and was SURROUNDED by (what i thought were) businessmen#and spent the whole time watching and narrating like i was on national geographic#but what happened after one guy got boring bc he was too busy watching his soap operas (i stg it was a telenovela tho)#was that the guy in front of the guy next to me opened his laptop at full brightness#and paid for the wifi and started doing this with his laptop AT FULL BRIGHTNESS on this DARK PLANE and so#obviously i started reading everything he pulled up including but not limited to his browsing for baseball tickets and also his emails#bc if u didnt want me to read them u shouldnt have put ur laptop at FULL BRIGHTNESS ON A DARK PLANE#he didnt even have it in dark mode 😭 pulling up whatever the hell the apple email app is#COMPLETELY WHITE at full brightness on a plane with no big lightsource the entire first class saw him#the guy in front of me was also totally reading his laptop okay listen he pretended he was sleeping but i know the truth#ANYWAYS i then hyperfocused on that guy and was like ‘how weird’ bc he had some weird shit in his emails! (and also likes baseball lmfao)#he was talking abt how he had cell front interviews with prisoners and was reviewing someones research on like???#popular smth of solitary confinement and i was like???? weird but okay???? live your truth#saw him start typing a reminder to get an article on ethnology and decided he was just a weirdo of some kind and then#forgot abt it bc he moved on to baseball and the california election (which newsom won thankfully) and i was like ‘ah shit yeah that’#BUT THEN he went back to his emails (he gets so many??? is that what being an adult is like??? fuck) and i remembered#at this point i thought he was a criminal justice attorney or a former one since he started writing his schedule and had#‘CONSULTING’ in big letters at the top while he wrote out dates and hours and i was like ‘oh so lawyer?’#and by this point i also knew his first name from his emails (i was REALLY bored okay) and then he wrote smth abt an#‘SB attorney’ and im ashamed to admit my mind did go to ‘softblock attorney’ but lets not talk sbt that#i thought it was a specific kind of attorney but thinking abt it it might just mean ‘santa barbara sttorney’ we’ll never know#anyways he finallylogged into smth else which displayed his name in full letters and guess what!#he was a principle researcher in the stanford prison experiment LOL. he teaches in my university system im bdnfndndnnxd#BYE#v.txt
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aqenn · 4 years
Text
every time I look back on it I think differently about it all, about you. idk. some days I know you're right and it didn't have to end like that and I wish I had done some things differently, but other days I wonder if we should've known from the beginning that we would never be quite right for each other*. and it doesn't matter anymore, it's all done now, but overanalyzing things in retrospect is a favorite activity of mine I can't help it (lol)
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Text
ML Lies Episode Predictions:
There’s Two?? (don’t trust my math) more days before lies completely destroys me, so I’m going to make some predictions, and by predictions I mean wishlist. My walls are already up, so if none of these happen I won’t be disappointed, but also a girl can dream: (this is somehow 1700 entire words long because I have a lot of feelings, so it’s under a cut, you’re welcome)
—Adrien and Kagami’s are secretly dating: please I want it so bad, I’ve talked about this so much and emotionally I need it!! At the very least I want them to sneak out together so so bad I’d cry. But also, if they’re hiding it from their other friends for whatever reason, thats SUCH good angst potential.
—If we get to see some kinda montage of them sneaking out??? Id ride that high for months. Even just one actual example of them working together to sneak out would obliterate me. Like, how it shows Kagami sneaking out to go to the game in Ikari Gozen?? I’d cry
—The breakup happens as a direct result of it being a secret relationship: this would be SUCH a good parallel to lukanette. Lukanette broke up because Luka wanted Marinette to be more open with him and he hated being in the dark, so just, the parallels if Adrien wants to be more open about adrimi and Kagami is like “you dont understand, if your dad finds out about us he will end this immediately” but Adrien wants to believe that its going to be okay and no one will react badly? I’m probably explaining this badly and I’ll try to explain it better later I just,,, want parallels and opposites and truth v lies and hhhhh
—Fencing??? Friendly/ affectionate competition??? Them being idiot jocks in love??? Please??? I want to see them compete!!
—I’d love to see Kagami character growth + Adrimi relationship development!!! I want her to love herself more and be more comfortable around him!!!
—Specifically, if there was a parallel to Riposte,, and Adrien beat Kagami in a fencing match and Kagami was like “Oh nice!! :D good game!” I’d be so happy I’d cry!! And it’s kinda implied by Chat Blanc that they’re already there in there relationship?? But not confirmed?? So if I saw it or saw confirmation of it I’d cry!!
—in one of the released photos it looked like they were holding hands??? And at this point my expectations are so low I don’t even trust it yet but blease,,, let them hold hands,, i’d cry of joy
—If Adrien is also constantly leaving and disappearing due to akuma responsibilities, I want it to read SUPER differently from the Lukanette because I love parallels/foils!! Marinette disappears on her dates with Luka and its just “oh marinette is really distracted and busy and frazzled” but I dont think Adrimi but be loke that at all!!! Because as far as Kagami knows, she has the same backstory/current story as Adrien. She’s risking a lot by sneaking out to go on dates with him?? So Adrien seeing an akuma and being like “oh sorry father is calling” isnt even suspicious or anything??? Its 100% believable!!! If her mother called she’d immediately be like “oh fricking heck i Need To Leave this instant immediately.” So its less “Adrien doesnt care about her” and more of just twisting the knife and reminding her that life doesnt want them to be together and Adrien is never going to be free!!! Big ouch to her heart!!!
—also I want!!!! Them!!! To talk about their feelings!!! Because parallels to truth!!! Adrien is like “sorry I have to go” and Kagami is like “oh I hate that so much” and Adrien is like “big same.” (Also idk how realistic this is but I’d love it if ‘Kagami talking about her feelings’ wasn’t the cause of strife in their relationship!! Like, she talks about how she feels and when she’s upset and Adrien is like “yeah me too” and they’re just,, good bros)
—I need them to stay friends after the breakup, i need it i need it i need it!!! And the whole issue is!! I feel like the main reason they’d date is to try and hang out more?!?? So if the breakup was actually them talking to each other and being like “hey so this isnt working with sneaking out, we’re going to need to go back to the way it was before,” rather than them saying they were bad for each other???? Hoo boy i’d lose my mind
—Also!!! My favorite prediction, I’d die of joy if this happened (and also of angst). I want there to be so much drama with “secret relatinship” stuff that they try to fix it by going public with their relationship!! Very low chance of this actually happening but its okay if it doesnt, thats what the fanfiction I’m inevitably going to write immediately after watching the episode is for!!! But anyway,, multiple ways this could happen.
Maybe they’ve been secretly dating since Miracle Queen and they decide to go public at the beginning of this episode and that’s the primary source of plot/conflcit!!! I’d be thrilled!!!
BUT!!! if the episode ends with then Not Breaking Up, but instead deciding to go from dating secretly to dating publicly???? Holy Freaking Heck,,, I’d go feral with emotion!!!! I also need to expand on this so much more but basic rundown of how I imagine it could happen (again: Is it likely?? Probably not! but this is my last chance to dream):
Kagami is like “listen we have the same backstory and I KNOW in my soul that this relationship wouldn’t work if it was public”
Adrien is like “okay yeah I feel you, thats fair”
Kagami goes on dates with Adrien and its fun and nice and lovely and the honeymoon phase is so good and exciting
Adrien starts disappearing a lot, partly because of akuma attacks, but partly because of nathalie and gabe calling him constantly
Adrien starts to be like “well actually i think that my dad does care about me probably? And if he knew why I wanted to go he’d let me! Or at least Nathalie would because clearly she cares about me!”
Kagami is like “hhhnngg have you met them?? You think they’d want you to be happy and free??” Except she can’t just SAY that because if she did then she’d be crushing Adrien’s entire heart and possibly also making him get really defensive and he has to come to the conclusion that his parents are good on his own
Kagami also starts to get frustrated with how much more often Adrien has to leave than she does?? And its because of akuma attacks but she doesnt know that and he cant tell her
Adrien starts to get frustrated because he can take the “having to leave for akuma attacks” part but when he finally finishes an akuma battle and Natalie immediately calls him it is just aaaaaAAAAAAAA and he just wants to believe so badly that he could at least take control of that part??? He could at least get Nathalie to help him out??? Probably maybe right???
Because we all know he HATES having to keep secrets from Ladybug, but he’ll do it for her, and he’ll keep his life as Chat a secret, but Kagami??? He should at least be able to talk about that, right?? He’s not doing anything bad/dangerous/etc
Also there could very well be some angst with Adrien being so so worried about Nathalie because she’s bedridden and his dad is being sketchy and he’s SEEN this before and he doesn’t want to be avoiding Natalie or lying to her because what if he loses her too??? He’d feel so guilty! And he needs the support of a parent figure so much,,, so he HAS to tell her the truth
But he respects Kagami’s wishes and he’s not going to betray her trust
But unlike Lukanette, they DO talk about their feelings and they disagree and stuff, and even if he’s trying not to be confrontational, Kagami is like “i can tell youre uncomfortable about something, please just tell me what it is” so he tells her that he disagrees
Kagami gets akumatized?? idk if it’s even been confirmed that she’s the akuma “Lies” but I’d assume she is because parallels to Lukanette
Maybe it happens as a direct result of some moment where Kagami and Adrien are arguing and in the heat of the moment he says something hurtful??
Maybe they’re arguing and then Adrien has to leave before it can resolve and Kagami is mad about it even though shes trying not to be and she gets akumatized???
Maybe she does say something like “bc your dad sucks and nathalie sucks!” and he yells or something (i want to see Adrien yell and be flawed let me live, and this is one of the most likely scenerios for it to happen bc it would HURT for him)
Maybe Kagami shoots back with anger, maybe Adrien’s been calm but Kagami gets mean for a moment, but regardless, Kagami says something about her true feelings of anger at nathalie/gabe/ etc and before Adrien can respond he’s like “oh shoot sorry I need to get home NOW”
Then for one brief second Kagami’s TERRIFIED that he’s going to tell nathalie about this in his anger and then nathalie’s going to be like “oh kagami is clearly bad for you because she made u this upset” and Adrien will LISTEN because hes stupid and he still listens to his horrible adult figures and Kagami is so mad about the entire situation so then in her moment of weakness she gets akumatized
Look at that its a direct opposite of Lukanette because Luka was afraid of Marinette keeping secrets about why she’s always vanishing because he doesnt know and Kagami is afraid of Adrien telling secrets about why HEs always vanishing bc she thinks she does know,,
But anyway, after she gets de-akumatized, she’s so ashamed of it and she can see how far she took it and how many people it hurt,, and Adrien is really sad and apologetic and trying to support her,, and she’s like “no clearly I was actually wrong, keeping this a secret is hurting you and its hurting me and now its hurting random civilians”
So she tells Adrien that they should tell people about it and stop dating in secret
And then multiple possible ending:
Does he say “actually no, youre right, they wouldnt let this happen, so if we cant date in public and dating in secret is hurting us then we shouldnt date at all” and thats how the breakup goes??? That would literally obliterate me
Does the episode end on a false positive where Adrien hasnt told them yet and he is like “yeah this is gonna be great” and there isnt an actual breakup yet?? Because that would also kill me (even though i doubt theyre going to let adrimi take up that much time in the show but, let me dream)
Also if Adrien is like “we shouldnt tell my parents but we should tell someone” and then they tell Marinette and now shes got ANOTHER secret to keep and aaaaaaaAAAAA?? Id die on the spot
I’m still holding out hope that the episode will give me enough crumbs to at least be able to write this better, but regardless of what happens in the episode,,, the chances of me eventually writing fanfiction exploring this are SO HIGH, I’ve been thinking about this for ages
In conclusion:
—no matter what happens in lies, its going to destroy me
—please let them be in a secret relationship it makes so much sense for their characters and for the drama and aaaaAAAAA
—also please give me the parallels to lukanette where their issues are exactly the opposite and it still falls apart
Thank you for your time, I’ll be excitedly vibrating at the speed of sound for the next two days until we get answers!! Depending on how the episode goes, I’ll either be writing so much adrimi fluff to recover,, so much adrimi angst to vent,, or I’ll be staring at the ceiling screaming for a few days as I post nothing but keysmashes and try to sort through my emotions :)
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