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#u know that kinda vibe i guess
puppyeared · 2 months
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mascot
#this isnt vent dw!!! i dont smoke either i was just kinda going for some sort of vibe#i know its usually played for laughs or like. dark humor whenever ppl draw mascots without their heads and u can see the actor#but i always found it fascinating and a little sobering. ever since i was a kid ive always been hyperaware of ppl in costumes#like. even if i tried to block it out id be thinking the whole time 'its not real. theres a person in that suit who gets paid to do this'#it used to be an uncomfortable nagging feeling but now its like. oh yeah theres someone with a whole life story doing this. idk#i think when i tell ppl im not conscious of my body its like. im not dysphoric or experience dissociation but. at the same time#it feels like my physical body doesnt fully outwardly represent me..?? like some sort of costume#i like to phrase it as being a giant hairless mecha and inside theres a very tiny puppy piloting the damn thing#and the other thing is. when i draw my sona i dont really see it as what i /wish/ i looked like or how i want people to see me#its like being in a costume and just. fucking around with some sort of barrier between myself and others#plus mascots arent allowed to talk and i dont really. engage with other ppl in public spaces that it kinda feels like ad lib#i share a lot abt my life but ironically im also a private person..... i guess it just gives me some sort of control over my identity#my art#myart#my oc#sona#mascot#furry#??? is this furry art????#twinkle#puppysona#edit: had to outline it bc i just realized it looks really weird on dark mode -_-
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rosekasa · 6 months
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following up from My Body Is Being Concerning, today i learned that i am in fact capable of experiencing a panic attack so severe that i faint
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itgetsbetterproject · 21 hours
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Just a lil much-needed queer youth joy - we need to talk about these students and allies in Hawai'i!
Students from Campbell- Kapolei Complex Schools used funding from one of our 50 States 50 Grants to give SO much support to their queer communities.
They bolstered their GSA clubs, held community based education events like a Halloween party and craft day, and even got to attend Honolulu Pride - where Hawai'i-raised Bretman Rock showed up for a surprise visit and marched alongside the students to honor them and their work, having attended the same schools themself growing up!
So proud of these students for recognizing what they need in their own communities.
And lucky for y'all...apps are open for the 3rd season of 50 States, 50 Grants right now through April 1, 2024 - if you're a high schooler or middle schooler in the US/DC/territories and have an idea for how you'd use the funds at your own school, don't miss out on applying: 50states50grants.org
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just-aro · 2 years
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me: a loveless aro
me: introduced to the End Poem of minecraft for the first time literally this week
me: and the universe said i love you because you are love *starts sobbing*
#no but seriously what the fuck#minecraft has no rights to make me cry what the fuck#(also guess who is perpetually the latest person ever to join a trend and is planning to play mc for the first time in xyr life soon)#also hermitcraft is my latest interest-based obsession#so far i've watched ~10 episodes each of s9 for doc/impulse/scar/joehills and <5 for xisuma/tango/zedaph#i plan to watch a little of everyone and kinda see all the Vibes#but ngl so far impulse joe and scar are my blorbos#doc is great but my attention span is not the length of his videos#grian is a lovely chaos gremlin to view from other perspectives but a Bit Much for me to watch directly#joehills is a fucking sweetheart and i adore him#scar is a chaotic neutral disabled icon with the voice of a god#impulse is like. dad friend to the max and i adore that#the soup group is really freaking cute#xisuma seems nice but he cuts so many interactions with other hermits :( i would like to see interactions pls sir#i do think i have to watch the queer ones - iirc geminitay and iskall + one more and i am forgetting who#and regretfully... i know myself and i will probably be Unable to watch far in any one person's stuff without catching up on everyone else#OH! i forgot mumbo!!! mumbo is also good and i hope his mental health break is going well#i do also plan to watch double life. probs not third life or last life though#anyways yeah i. uh. have an interest-driven brain can u all tell#that i got into this. last week.#back to the original reason i wrote the post though lol#the end poem fucking wrecked me#like bro. bro. you can't just.
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pcktknife · 1 year
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who’s your least favorite couple of characters in genshin rn?
If we're talking actively dislike then that goes to eula n al haitham she's annoying as hell and he give me bad vibes
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purgeshubble · 11 months
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moodboard: joel (double life)
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orcelito · 8 months
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Ykno the common critique I've seen around is that trimax fights r hard to follow & such. And I've always had the kind of thought of like "I mean sometimes it can be confusing, but if u stop to study it it's really not that bad"
Having a fight analysis post kinda blow up tho I'm seeing ppl comment over and over in the tags about how hard it is to keep up with the fights... and I'm just like. Is it really that confusing? Like genuinely. I thought it was one of those overblown fan critiques but it seems like a Lot of people agree with it.
#speculation nation#in the original manga Yea fights were pretty hard. took me a Lot of squinting to figure out what actually happened with the Nebraskas#but idk most of the fights r just vibes. u follow along and feel what the characters r feeling and the fine details dont matter.#a lot of times i do end up flipping back and forth between pages bc there r details revealed later on that make earlier things make sense#or just looking for clarification. that kind of thing.#so yeah it kinda does take some work to fully understand it but i kinda figured that's like... how manga fights go...#i much prefer this over the common shounen trope of stopping the fight to explain every single move that's done#so im just like 'come ON i already understood it!!! can we keep going already????'#is it the fact that nightow doesnt do this that makes it so confusing??? so ppl dont get the play by play as it happens???#this all probably sounds obnoxious but im just genuinely trying to make sense of it.#i guess im also just a perceptive person when im paying attention to smth. maybe that's what it ultimately boils down to.#one person commented saying theyd kill if i did play by plays for all the trimax fights lol#i probably wont for All of them bc that sounds like quite a project#but if another catches my attention in this same sorta way... then maybe.#i guess understanding nightow's fights is a skill. probably at least partially assisted by being able to read the sound effects.#oh yeah. that's another thing lol. i can read the sound effects. and that especially helps with knowing how many shots there are#stuff like that. 🤔 yea i dunno. i wasnt expecting that post to get so many notes.#but it's well over 400 now and still counting. waking up to 99+ notifications is... an experience lmao
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When they try to make school harder for LGBTQ+ youth...we make it better.
Over the past 2 years, students across the U.S. have used our 50 States 50 Grants funds to...
Build gender-affirming closets and gender-neutral bathrooms at school
Host their school's first Pride fest or Pride conference
Educate parents and teachers
Fund their GSA club
And so many other rad projects to support their queer students!
Apps are open for Season 3 now through April 1, 2024 - if you have an idea for how you'd use up to $10,000 at your own school (or if you know someone in middle or high school who could), reblog and spread the word!
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i was tagged by @ybcpatrick to do this song title q&a so slay thank you best fwend (let's see if i can be interesting enough)
choose an artist you like and use the names of their songs to answer these questions as closely to the truth as possible!
artist chosen: fall out boy, who else :)
what is your gender? i don't care
describe yourself: the patron saint of liars and fakes
how do you feel? i've got all this ringing in my ears, but none on my fingers
if you could go anywhere, where would it be? heaven's gate
who is/describe your best friend: *friends :) the last of the real ones
your favorite time of day: golden
if your life was a tv show, what would it be called? the kids aren't alright
what is life to you? the pros and cons of breathing
relationship status: alone together
what do you fear? death valley
tagging: @celestialtoy, @such-a-happy-mess, @missmissingsyou, @themightyfall, @pmvstump, @p4nsy, @meat-wentz and anyone else can say i tagged u!! pls make ur own post <3
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peppermint-moss · 1 year
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Will you ever do a face reveal? Dream just did one and it reminded me of all the faceless creators ever.
i mean i have my portfolio website linked on my tumblr n stuff and my face is just there so you could look at that i guess lol
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just-miru · 2 years
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was bored so i scrolled down the blueycapsules william tag on twitter only to find out there was some kinda silly argument i think over William's design a few days ago with some people saying they hate it and stuff (these people seem to hate the whole comic, actually), comparing the blueycapsules design with rebornica's Vincent and stuff for some reason
and then some blueycapsules fans would come in saying that William's design isn't supposed to be attractive in the first place and i am like excuse me what-
#'you know you fucked up when your William design looks more goofy than Rebornica's Vincent' like-#idk maybe it's just me but that's exactly what makes blueycapsules' design for William stand out - his silliness and pathetic looks#most William designs i have seen are this lanky ass dude#a business man u wouldn't wanna mess with#'your daughter calls me daddy too' vibes and so on#and there's nothing wrong with that i guess but it just gets kinda boring ya know?#having this silly man that looks like the idea/concept of William Afton the beatles murdoc and Spamton all smashed together is refreshing#and i just think that's creative#also- i know i don't have the greatest taste when it comes to fictional men but holy fuck-#r u really telling me that his design is supposed to be ugly? how?? asdkdkabsbsjsm-#i just think it's funny#and since i am in the mood to rant about stuff apparently-#besides the typical 'i hate blueycapsules cause the characters' designs suck' people i keep on seeing#like fine go off i guess#there's also people saying that William is a poorly written villain?? like-#sorry he doesn't have a sob backstory to justify his evil bastard actions#but that doesn't mean he's poorly written#him being an asshole just because is the charm of his character actually#'he's just a phyco where's the flavour to it??' y'all just don't have taste#if you find a villain well written only if they have a sad story to back them up and stuff i don't know what to tell ya#having a good character go apeshit due to what has happened to them can be interesting#but just like above with William's design exemple#it can get quite boring if the same narrative is used over and over again#but i also get this idea that people only want sad backstories for villains so they can justify why they like them? cowards-#like your evil characters regardless of that shit#trauma/sad backstory or not what they did is still morally wrong#their backstory can be used as an explanation sure but it doesn't excuse their actions - they're still villains#so why take away the joy of enjoying and supporting a silly rotten man and his silly rotten actions just because he lacks a sad backstory?#asdkskak- i think i am done#thanks for coming to my Ted Talk
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mntcoronet · 2 years
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"you have general anxiety, you are deficient in several things, and you may also have autism" local doctor states to me. referral for assessment and cognitive ball therapy pending, however
#maggles ramblings#i didn't know which mix of the two 'c b t' acronyms to use so i made my own. no balls will be undergoing therapy in my health plan though#ANYWAY !! due to the anxiety bit she knew i disliked unplanned change. so asked me if my interests were kinda narrow#and I'm like. absolutely. there are specific games n shows i like and that's all my brain knows or cares about at any given time#and she asked how good i am at picking up social cues. and i wasn't sure abt that one but i know ive always been more of a social observer#in primary school especially i was like. 'must watch peer interactions so i can spot any traps that may lead to me being made fun of'#like i didn't get why it happened; i just tried to observe and avoid what i could#and i still feel like i don't always Understand most of my peers. my best friends have always been the ones who also weren't great socially#bc with them there was never any 'secretly judging you/not interested in what ur saying/can tell this conversation isn't natural for u'#kind of vibe. idk it's tough like i feel like i am Some level of good at social interaction but also feel like im just pretending to Get It#and there's just. certain people who match my vibe and won't think im strange or too passionate about the things i like. those r my friends#but yea anyway she said some of it could be the anxiety but it was just! a relief honestly. to know that Maybe there's a reason for#how I've been feeling a lot. for a lot of. life i guess#+ even if it's not that and it Is just All Anxiety; it'd still be a relief knowing precisely how it's impacted my mindset for things#but like also it'd make sense to me if it was both. bc i do indeed get v nervous about not knowing How to Do certain social situations#in new situations i often plan what im gonna say and write notes bc if i don't know what to say or do i get overwhelmed and cry easily#but YEA it was just. cool hearing that I'm not just Completely unfounded in my suspicions about that yknow#afterwards even my dad said he's thought of it as a possiblity for years and I'm like WHY DIDN'T U TELL MEEEE#but anyway. day is being had
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waloeders · 5 months
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and back to sleipnir n barnabas thoughts bc we are on LOCKDOWN 24/7!!! it is always them o clock oml,,,
#jupiter.speaks#❤️.sleipnir#>taggin him bc. i am havin so many thots abt how we interact when we first meet!!!!!#> like we first meet when barny escapes the hideaway n well. kidnaps me to the reverie (in waloed)#> n once there barny summons sleip while he tries to summon ultima for answers to his Qs#> so initially hes like. 😒 i dont like u. the only reason ur alive is cuz HM wants u to be#> but durin the ultima mini fight sleip does get 'killed' (he cant die unless barny does) so next time he sees kos is like.#> kinda funny actually right so. barny is now like oh so yeah we're in the hideaway again. watch over this guy u dont like just in case?#> n slowly we warm up to each other. hes kinda sassy mean at first but thankfully. i am autistic and can be just as sassy mean too >:3#> /lh btw shbdjdjdj i just love chatting w him n listen when he rambles too. n i dont think he often gets the chance to!#> sleip: n that is why i think humanity sucks. but i guess ultima sucks more now. so we hate him? kos: ...close enough. yeah. sure!#> i think the dynamic is very much. we bounce off each other. whereas barny n sleip just know what each other r thinkin/wantin#> n barny n kos are like. loving but they take time to warm up to each other? like theres a lot more growing n 'am i annoyin him' from kos#> which doesnt happen as much w sleip. their vibes r just too similar for it ehehe#> wow this was info dump. enjoy :3#❤️.barnabas#👤.kosmos#> since i ended up talkin abt all of them in tags gosh
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berryjaellie · 2 years
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races into the room and frantically takes off shoes sorry i'm late . millsociations ... rain, juice (esp banana nectar), gift exchanges, meeting quickly before class to wish good luck on an exam, blueberries and blueberry dumplings, fake carbonara, j*nseo but like wei in general, seeing something that reminds u of a loved one and taking a picture to send them, playlists, wonjin (and also jungmo and also tomatoz), languages, twice songs, hwan, four leaf clovers, plushies that can fit in ur pocket, woobin, encouraging words, lists of ideas, surreal by ab6ix, late night talks abt anything, 'hmhm' annnnnd belovedestness 💓
MY BELOVED PENG U ARE HEREEE it's ok ure juuuust in time im patting a seat right next to me come sit here ive been waiting for u do u want some coffee some cider some water anything? truth is i actually started tearing up when i first read this so i had to wait a little before replying because like . millie calm down u know . these are literally all either so sad or so true or both it Hurts how right u are but it will never stop being so funny to me just how u r holding onto the blueberry dumplings ... nd thank u for censoring the guy n for including hwan i love hwan where is he bf come back i miss u ... ANYWAYS eri i love u so bad i am hugging u as we speak. n always
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purgeshubble · 4 months
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tbh it wouldn't surprise me if shadow does have a pretty big australian audience bc at least recently my guy is always live at times when I wanna watch ppl and no one is live
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mushroomtricolor · 2 years
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args are SO funny to me bc like. i get that the appeal is Solving A Mystery or whatever but i just. cannot actually Comprehend it and i can never suspend disbelief for them. i was just watching a vid abt some mc arg and it was like ~ooohh these versions do not exist anywhere online uuuuu the mystery what does it mean~ and i literally could not think anything but It’s Fake?? It’s Made Up??? Not Real???????
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shakirawastaken · 10 months
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dsmp if... you were a romance trope
i got inspiration (sapnap, dream, george, karl, quackiy, wilbur) 
sapnap (hockey x figure skater): - im in the middle of heartbreaker rn and SHUT UP - i LOVE THIS TROPE - IM NOT EVEN A FIGURE SKATER I DO TAEKWONDO BUT I STILL FROTH OVER THIS SHIT - and then in addition to that one tommyinnit is a figure skater and everyone else is on a hockey team “ice these hurts” or smt h like that - i love this trope. - anyway i think that this trope comes hand in hand with enemies to lovers - his hockey team and ur figure skating group are at the same winter sports competiton - and you have to share a rink - booooo - so everyday you end practice with the sight of a bunch of hockey buffs roughhousing in the stands, waiting for you to finish - and everyday a certain brunette one sneers and smirks at you as you walk off the ice - “had a nice practice ice queen/king?” he asks you teasingly - “shut up, yeti” you mutter back gratingly as you bump your shoulder into his build as you pass him - and he comes up with a new one everyday - and you quip right back at him, unphased - one day, he comes into practice early just to spite you - what he wasn’t expecting is to see how good you actually were on the ice - he sat there like “ :O” and just watche dyou glide across the ice with what seemed like barely any effort - and he watched how passionate you were in your craft and the dance - and bro was whipped right then and there - so that day as you were leaving he said “you were amazing out there” and it took u jumpscared - you were like “no insult today?” - and he was like “dang, didnt know u liked them that much ;) but not today, not for something as beautiful as that” - and i think you can guess where it went from there... :)
 dream (ceo and employee romance):  - AKAIAKAKAHAKH TELL ME YOU SEE THE VISION - i mean hes a ceo alr so its like one step in the door you know - anyway hes a ceo - bro wears those fancy ass suits everyday and has like a wine cellar mini fridge shit thing in his office  - any way you pull up to his headquarters one day for like an interview and you were so fucking nervous  - you ran into him in the elevator (and no clue who he was) - and you basically vented to him for the 30 second elevator ride before scurrying off to your interview - bro didnt even get dreams name or anything - he kinda just smiled and wished you well as you ran away  - he thought you were so cute  - and you thought dude was hot as fuck  - anyway you got the JOB!! LETS GOO - the next day, your supervisor is like taking u around showing u the works - ....and you meet the ceo - its dream - and youre like :0 and he’s like  *smirk wink* ;) “hey” - and youre like “well fuck hes the ceo i cant be in love with him” - and you avoid him - but he makes it his life’s mission to get on ur radar - in the break room, in ur cubicle, in the cafeteria, in the parking lot man is ON YOU LIKE A MOTH TO A LIGHT - eventually he convinces you to go to fancy dinner - and WOW hes paying?? so that shit was FIREEEE - fancy wagyu steak and 102379182 year old wine i mean cmon - it was good ok - he asks you out after dinner and assures u ur job wont be at risk and everything - ba da bing ba da boom  - now youre dating happily and he spoils the FUCK outta you  - lmk if you want this one as a big fic with dialogue
george (neighbors): - tell me why whenever i have my delulu daydreams with george he’s always a neighbor - very much boy next door vibes - omg HES YOUR COLLEGE ROOMMATE NEXT DOOR - stoppppp - on move in day he pulls up with his family and u with urs and youre like - “hi ! nice to meet you im so exicted to move in!” and bros like “same!” - sometimes hes loud bc hes talking to his friends but you dont mind - hes a cs major and ur  whatever u want major - one day you decided to start singing  rlly loud while cleaning - ur singing taylor swift - and then george could hear you from the room next door to yours - so he writes up a little post it note that was like “loved the concert! when’s the next one?” and stuck in on your door - you found it and started mad blushign - you had a crush on him since day one awwww - anyways you two started communicating via post it notes and songs played loudly through the walls <3 - till one day you hear boyfriend by big time rush - and then you play girlfriend by avril lavigne back - and then he slips you a post it note under the door and you open the door before you could read it  - and its an unspoken like thing that you start dating - its so romantic how you can saw you guys starting dating because of taylor swift !!
quackity (academic rivals): - DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON THIS TROPE IT BRINGS ME LIFE ALRIGHT - alright - two law school students FIGHTING IT OUT ACADEMICALLY - you guys met in ur freshman year english class or some shit - clashed together in a discussion group - and its been game on since then - your texts with each other are flaunting texts - “hey alex, guess who got a 97 on the last midterm?” - “guess who got a 99 ;)” - over time, the texts started getting more and more hostile - people started to thing you two actually hated one another’s guts  - but in reality it was more for the thrill - but this continued throughout your law school careers - and you both become successful lawyers in the end!! - and when the headmaster calls you both into his office and says - “youre both valedictorian! congrats! you have to give a speech together” - well its like all the hatred faded away - you grinned and cheezed at each other before giving each other the biggest hug ever - so you both wrote a speech together - and soon the day of graduation came - and q goes at the end “i wouldn’t be here without the person who motivated me through it all, so thank you (y/n)” and youre like “hey man *sob* wtf *sob” - and you kiss him on the cheek and cheer to all the graduates  - after the ceremony he catches up to you in the parking lot, grabbing your wrist before you could go off with ur family - and blurts out word soup - and ur like what - and hes like “i really like you, and law school wouldn’t have been the same without you. can we be more than friends?” - and youre like “duhhh” and kiss him right there karl (best friends to lovers): - YOU ARE IN LOVE BY TAYLOR SWIFT  - that is the song for this SCENARIO - you two met when you were little kids in like first grade - your friends werent there on that day so you hung out with each other - hooked to the other since then and there - it was always “karl and you” and “you and karl” - you came as a packaged deal - through ups and downs you were there together - you graduated high school together and were going to the same college together now - while karl barely got into any romantic relationships, you seemed to be going through a few of them  - you were desperate for a love connection and honestly i aint blaming u - one day after a horrible date he came over to your dorm and u had an impromptu sleepover - you were in karls old shirt and some pajama pants and he was in his pajamas - and you two were just watching a movie together - before he turns to you abruptly, and you turn to look at him - and he’s like “you’re my best friend”  - and you saw a switch flip in him - since then, the dynamic between you two changed (for the better) - you became more flirty more touchy  - you started to act like you were a couple more and more - one day you saw him open his wallet to pull out his card  - and u saw that he has a picture of the two of you in his wallet - and then you knew that he was it for you - you ask him out that night - and hes so happy hes picking you up and spinning you around - <3 wilbur (musician x fan trope): - okay this is inspired by those tik toks that are like “did you see the way he looked at me” and its harry styles staring and eyeing down a fan in the audience like YES - and he’s a musician so it fits! - imagine lovejoy is like a HUGE HUGE Band so maybe this is in the future - anyways you and ur friend go to a lovejoy concert - for the sake of the story, youre not that big a fan of lovejoy just familiar with hits like sex sells and one day - the whole time ur friend is like “theyre so good hes so good its all so good” - you two end up a few rows from barricade  - and you and ur friend start screaming it up as you should - youre not oblivious to the way the lead singer keeps looking over in your direction, winking and smiling - imagine a sweaty, singing wilbur glancing over at you during sex sells and giving you a smile as he rasps out “you know sex sells i know that” - brb ascending to heaven - anyway a time comes when he stops to speak to the audience - he wastes no time - he struts over to your side of the stage and points at you  - “what’s your name?” - and you scream it at him - “what a lovely name!” - the crowd cheers - “ahre you single?” he asks with a grin on his face - the grin grows when u nod at him - “give me ur number!?” he asks and you nod at him as ur friend is dying next to you - he gestures u and ur friend to the front of the stage by the barricade  - and he passes you a marker and make syou WRITE YOUR NUMBER ON HIS GUITAR OR HIS SHIRT OR SOMETHING - oh yeahh go you go you thank yoU! let me know if you want any of these to become a bigger story/imagine and LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT A PART 2 WITH OTHER PEOPLE :D reblogs appreciated
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tastesousweet · 3 months
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⭒ the girl with the tattoo (ii) - pt 1 here!!
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matt sturniolo x fem!oc / reader
summary : matt is still a grumpy ass but y/n can't seem to get him off of her mind.
warnings : idk uhhh matt’s rude but in a love hate kinda way 😋! also alcohol/drinking (i headcannon everyone 21+!)
mickey speaks : shes finally hereeeee and shes kinda long. im hoping to post more consistently!! luv u guys enjoy <3 ignore the fact that the pic above has a yt girl in it this story is for everyone i promise !!!! i just liked the little green vibe ok? ok.
THIS IS PART TWO GO READ PART ONE FIRST DUH!!!!
AND of course you see matt again.
only a month ago, you were introduced and forced to spend an hour of your time in close proximity to him, no matter his disinterest. yet, also, only a month ago, were you gifted with the cutest tiny tattoo that continues to surprise you a little whenever you lift your shirt before a warm shower.
it hasn’t bothered you nearly as much as you'd assumed - only disrupting your life with the caution you now take to avoid irritating the skin at your lower stomach. though some nights you grow lazy, you’ve maintained a very disciplined attitude of incorporating time in your morning and nightly rituals to ensure the tiny hello kitty inked on you is properly cared for.
contrary, your interactions with matt bothered you far more than you assumed. your sub-concious must've held onto your attempts to break past his careless attitude (that greatly opposed your own people-pleasing nature) just to pettily haunt you. but you've you forced yourself to get over it at this point. you just had to after one night, the week following your tattoo appointment (and after a long day of rude professors and pretentious customers blaming you for their own mistakes), you broke down to andrea:
you sniffle before your voice breaks again, "everyone's just mean. and- and i was so fucking annoying last saturday. it keeps playing over in my head. i'm so embarrassed and i just know he hated me, but i dont know why?! i thought i was nice enough. he could've just smiled or maybe just- i-"
andrea pauses from petting your head, "honey, you're not still talking about the guy who tatted you, right?" you look up at her from your head's soft spot in her lap with glossy eyes and a quivering lip.
"dre-" you choke.
"oh my god! no! y/n, you can't take shit like that personal. not everyone enjoys talking or happiness for that matter, you can't hold on to something like that. i promise he's not too hung up on it himself." she wipes away one of your pitiful tears.
and here he is, standing across the room from you at a party.
you definitely did not expect to see matt (who’s mild attitude was clearly fueled by socializing) in this scene but you guess that la parties are just like that. as long as you know someone who knows someone you’re easily in, that's how you tend to get into these events at least. though an insta stalk would tell you matt has enough clout to get himself in, he and his brothers have built quite the brand for themselves among la socialites.
once your eyes spot him over the shoulder of some guy who just introduced himself to you, they can’t seem to move. you watch as matt smiles for a photo with a few others. matt. smiles. okay, so maybe it was a you problem. he doesn’t hate everyone maybe just you.
though, your thoughts are denied as quickly as his face drops. he doesn’t even care to look at how the image may have turned out like the rest of the group. instead, his eyes opt to watching the people around him as he sips his weak drink.
great, now you’ve become the weirdo watching him watch other people.
until his eyes catch your cautious yet curious stare from across the room. your cheeks heat and you’re immediately shifting your eyes back to the man in front of you.
matt almost smirks at his luck. no fucking way the scared sweetheart he’d tattooed just a few weeks ago is here. he looks away when someone lays a hand on his shoulder to bring him back into the conversation. you're surprised that he continues to look back over to you after adding his input.
the guy finally acknowledges your disengagement with the story about his new motorcycle and turns to see what exactly you’re staring at. he sees matt and turns back to you, “you know him?”
“yeah. well not like know-know we only met once, he gave me a tattoo.”
“oh, cool,” he looks back over to matt and turns back to you once again, “is he bothering you?”
your face scrunches initially, “no, it’s fine.” you smile at him, not wanting to give him the impression that matt did anything but exist (which apparently is enough to capture your attention).
“good. wanna go grab another drink and tell me more about this tattoo?” a charming smile morphs on face and you nod your head easily, taking his hand and leading him towards the bar outside of this large home. and away from matt.
“two-” you look over to the man beside you, “wait is this an open bar?” you ask him genuinely and he laughs a little at your aloofness.
“yeah,” he nods.
“perfect, we’ll take two kamikaze shots pretty please!” you smile at the bartender who seems to be enjoying her night quite a bit and squeeze his hand when you realize it’s still in your own. he looks down at your attached hands then back to you.
you turn your body to face him more directly and lean up to his ear, cupping your hand and whispering, “i’m so sorry, i think i forgot your name.” you were starting to feel bad and just had to confess.
you lean back and bite your lip to hide an awkward smile, and he somehow smiles harder than he already was, “it’s-”
“ashton!” you hear a voice yell hurriedly and now some dark haired guy is pulling him away from you and repeatedly saying “code red!” in his face. and suddenly, without any indication he’d enjoyed your short lived time together, he’s gone.
you try not to sulk but he was an attractive guy with easy conversation, so you at least hoped to get his number by the end of the night.
instead, you’re left leaning against the bar hoping those shots come around soon. you decide to update your friends on your night:
Y/N
cute guy lefttttt :(
REMI
noooooo he was so cute 😫
Y/N
don’t remind me
ANDREA
where r you now???
Y/N
outside bar, im waiting on shots
Y/N
come find me💔💔
your head shoots up from your phone when three guys practically ram themselves into the bar near you, a few people around them laughing obnoxiously.
"god damnit, chris! we said we were going slowly!"
"shhhh. you are so loud, matt!"
“excuse me, can we get some water? none of the sparkles or bubbles and shit, just water, please.”
“next time i'm speaking for myself! what if i wanted the bubbles?”
you lean your head a little to get a full view of the three recognizable faces. chris, with his arms dangled over his two brothers’ shoulders clearly obliterated and slurring his words (but excited to be there nonetheless). a blonde one, you haven’t gotten the chance to meet yet, with two nose piercings and a commanding voice. and matt, with his signature pout, even poutier now that chris’ weight is causing him to hunch over slightly. you guess you were bound to run into them.
you wonder if andrea was right in saying matt hadn’t held onto your exchange. you wonder if when he saw you earlier he remembered you for your friendly smile rather than your annoying nagging. or did he even remember you at all? did he only look at you because you were staring him down first? okay, where the fuck are those shots?!
“no way!" you hear chris’ voice screech upon recognizing you from across the bar, "y/n!?”
you look over and see him shockingly excited to see your face again. you smile in an attempt to not allow your nerves about matt get to you. you are never one to deny a conversation after all.
“oh my god! hi!” you reply as chris unwraps himself from his brothers and moves closer to you.
“how’s your tat treatin’ you?” his eyes express so much excitement he reminds you of a little kid. you’re very flattered to see someone feel so much emotion due to your mere presence.
“oh, it’s still so cute, no regrets so far. i love it.” you smile and he nods while you’re speaking.
he turns around and sees his brothers and a few friends remaining in the other side of the bar talking amongst themselves. “yo, get the fuck over here! why are you guys so far?” he encourages them with a hand wave.
you wave as well, trying not to be a total stranger- even if you are.
the blonde guy leads them over and hands chris a glass of water that must’ve been waiting on him.
“cheers,” chris smirks and takes a sip before a disgusted look takes over his face, “gross. my god! why do they make this shit so bland?”
the blonde boy rolls his eyes in amusement, mumbling, "just drink it," before approaching you kindly. "hey, i’m nick by the way."
“y/n, nice to meet you! i met chris and matt when i got my tattoo done at your shop a while ago.” you explain kindly.
before nick can get another word in a female voice is squealing, “you’re y/n?! hi, i’m asha, i don't know if your remember but we talked on the phone that one time!” a tanned girl with soft cheeks and dark loose curls moves herself in front of the boys.
“of course i remember, how could i forget that insane frog story? it's so nice seeing you in person finally!” you gush.
suddenly chris is beaming, “aww wait guys this is so cute! i’m feeling like we should all hug!” he nods to his brothers who are quick to shake their heads no.
“i don’t think..” nick starts.
“nooo! let’s hug!” chris argues and opens his arms wide gesturing for everyone to hug him.
౨ৎ
after sharing a very drunk and messy group hug you all continue to talk until chris finally blurts, "i gotta go pee so bad guys, " he laughs, "but i need people with me because if i walk in on someone puking, then what? i'll die from my severe" (its not severe at all) "emetophobia and no one will ever know?"
you and asha (who you've found is actually so similar to you) both laugh at his crisis.
matt just breathes a laugh.
"chris, there’s no reason to go further with the fear factor when no one said they wouldn't come with you. i’m coming, so you're not gonna die, let's go." nick shakes his head.
“you don’t understand, nick i would be dead and covered in- i can’t even say it, dude,” chris’ voice fades as they walk away.
"wait, i'll walk with you guys inside! 'm... getting cold out here!" asha suddenly says removing herself from your side and waving goodbye with a drunk smile.
"it's not cold at all, she's trippin'" matt speaks watching her run and practically jump onto nick, causing the three laugh while leaving the crowded yard.
you just shrug and lean onto the bar again, making eye contact with the bartender who looks as if she only just remembered your existence but also seems to mentally question where the other guy went and how you managed to replace him that quickly.
"are you always so nice about everything?" matt questions, leaning his forearms on the bar, still looking at you.
"what?" you look over to him now, feeling almost sick at his proximity.
he mocks you with a high tone in his voice, "'it's soooo nice to meet you! it's soooo nice seeing you!' it sounds exhausting, to be honest."
"didn't realize having manners got you jail time," you breathe.
"and i never said it did."
"well, i don't have to be nice to you if it bothers you so much," you shrug.
"aw, sunshine, you'd do that for me? you're too sweet." he almost laughs at his own sarcastic comment.
you lick your bottom lip out of habit, "why are you still here? don't you have friends you should be ignoring?" you hope he can't tell just how frustrated he's making you.
“you must think you know me.”
“i know you don’t like me.”
“wrong, again.” he smiles and points his finger at you.
“oh, you just don’t like anyone then?”
he glances away before responding, “what's the fun in telling you?”
you huff in defeat, wanting nothing more than those shots right now. though your subconcious hopes the bartender continues to prioritize her flirting customers over you just so you can continue this addicting back and forth with matt.
"you know, that’s the thing with people like you. you think everyone owes you everything." he shakes his head.
"people like me?” you scoff under your breath, “matt, why are you still here?"
he can pick out the offense in your tone, "oh shit, that was true? i was fucking with you, sunny!"
"you don't know anything about me," you laugh and shake your head.
"alright there are those kamikaze shots for you! so sorry about that major delay, honey!" the bartender sets the shots in front of the both of you and smiles at you apologetically.
"don't worry about it, thank you!" you hand her a spare five dollar bill from your back pocket.
when she's gone you finally notice matt's widened eyes.
"what's up with your face, now?"
"you gave her a tip for pouring you some rankydank, fuckin' low level shots after you've waited long enough for her to apologize?" he seems genuinely shocked.
"she only makes money off of tips," you roll your eyes, picking the shot up and gesturing towards the second shot for him to take.
"that's all you," he raises his hands towards his chest.
"oh my god, do it, matt."
he shakes his head and points to you, "you take your shot, sweetheart."
"i knew you wouldn't, pussy," you say under your breath before smirking as you down the alcohol you've been craving since you first saw his face.
upon your insult matt is immediately taking the shot along side you. and just as both of your faces adjust to the taste, matt's phone begins to vibrate.
he grabs it and you attempt to hide your own curiosity by asking the bartender for a lime to suck on (not daring to ask for alcohol again because you simply don't want to be hung up at this bar for any longer).
"yeah, yeah still here," matt plays with his bottom lip and looks down at you with your mouth full of lime. he thinks you look pretty adorable, especially under the blush pink fairy lights hanging above the bar. "'kay, i'll be quick. alright, nick. i will. bye."
he puts his phone away and wipes his mouth, "that shit was fucking vile, by the way."
"okay, drama queen."
"mhm," his face falters back into his usual pout, "well i gotta go, but, um, nick wanted me to invite you to this get together thing we host at the warehouse, it's in like a month but, you know, come if you want." he shrugs.
"tell him of course i will, but only because he asked." you smile sarcastically.
౨ৎ
ANDREA - 12:39 AM
y/n where are you we are both so confused rn help
ANDREA - 12:45 AM
hellooo????
ANDREA - 12:47 AM
GIRL WE'RE OUTSIDE AND WE DONT SEE YOU TF
Y/N - 1:06 AM
WHERE ARE U GUYS RN I JSUT SAW TATTOO GUY AGASSN IM LOSUNG MY MIND JUST A LUTTLE BIT
Y/N - 1:06 AM
I WAS AT THE OTHER OITSIDE BAR IN THE FRONT(?) YARD!!!!! but its ok im gonba find u guys
౨ৎ
a few days later matt comes across your instagram story, forgetting he had followed you in the first place. it was a picture of you and your friends from the same night he had seen you again. it's a simple mirror photo where you're all smiling but besides your soft skin and cute outfit, matt's attention focuses on frank ocean's pyramids playing over the story.
you see the notification later that day when you finally get time on your phone:
matthew.sturniolo liked your story
꩜⋆ ˚。⋆🎱˚
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