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#u cant blame me for not being attracted to someone i literally dont get to choose who i am attracted to
ladysophiebeckett · 8 months
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Omg thank you for replying to my ask about LFMB. I didn’t know Tiziano Ferro’s appearance was added to do damage control, it had nothing on Bésame but it wasn’t that bad either controversy aside 😅. Also the whole Aurora/Jessica Rabbit plot is one of the worst things they could have come up with. Also, making Carolina fall for Omar out of nowhere (maybe it didn’t look so bad because the mexican actors looked well together and even got married in real life, but I just can’t picture doña Catalina and Mario as a couple). Alicia becomes even worse over time and even more of a caricature of herself, Tomas basically has not dignity or self respect until the very end when she easily steals millions from Conceptos (and she would have gotten away with it had she not gotten any issues with her passport) and even then he was ready to take the blame to protect her 🤦‍♀️
Moreover, having Fernando and Marcia become friends and basically take on a siblings dynamic. I mean, I understand their intentions were good and it was heartwarming to see them mend their relationship and get to that place were they could treat each other as brother and sister, but it’s just not realistic it happened so soon. They were in a toxic relationship for years, she was obsessed with him and treated him as some sort of trophy, he constantly cheated on her, put her family’s patrimony at risk, admitted he was in love with someone else, they hurt each other time after time. It’s a novela so these kind of too good to be true situations are fair game I guess. It’s just that the essence of the characters is just so different from YSBLF from the moment she goes to Acapulco up until the ending as you correctly stated it. Speaking of, what was that thing about Aldo being an angel of some sort? Lol and the fact that they dragged this love triangle until the very last minute where she was supposed to marry Aldo, but he suddenly backs off and allows her to be happy with Fernando. It made no sense. Still, Angelica and Jaime had great chemistry and you are so right when you say they were dorks in love, and Betty and Armando were much more sensual even if their love scenes were way more limited and they showed much less skin, but there’s something about Armando’s desperation to be with Betty during the gaslighting arc that neither of his counterparts has been able to replicate.
I don’t want to bore you anymore with more things. LFMB holds a special place in my heart because it reminds me of my childhood. Sometimes I put it on because it makes me laugh. It’s dumb humor but it works. It will never come close to the quality and acting of YSBLF though especially after they ran out of the source material and started adding nonsense, but it was genuinely decent up until some point like you said.
If you made it all the way to this part, I cannot thank you enough. Have a lovely rest of your day, I love your blog 💜
'te tomare una foto' is PERFECT for letty and fernando (the fanvids are good too) and it's also perfect for betty and armando but nobody's made a vid for that and it kills me. (but 'besame' is so sexy and its so them, so again, i cant complain).
i forgot they made omar\carolina a thing. (quick complaint--i hate how they aged up the cuartel and then aged catalina down that was annoying). if u squint it make sense bc in YSBLF mario is shown various times in the first half to be very attracted to catalina, while catalina is always shooting him down. no way she would ever reciprocate in YSBLF, but i guess its fine in LFMB is omar is on some kind of redemption arc. (i dont remember omar being as sinister in LFMB, correct me if im wrong).
the fernando\marcia thing is so?? im laughing. the reason why LFMB makes these kind of choices (everybody being friends in the end) is literally bc of rosy ocampo, who specializes in children's television. all her work before LFMB is kid's telenovelas. that's why aura maria and sofia's kids have huge scenes in LFMB (were as in YSBLF u barely ever see them and only hear of them). its why aldo isn't evil incarnate but instead 'an angel that was meant to bring letty and fernando together'.
they did not know how to end LFMB bc they got all tangled up. i think marcia even ends up as president, which doesnt bother me. but i felt like that was done to make up for the fact she lost fernando.
but there’s something about Armando’s desperation to be with Betty during the gaslighting arc that neither of his counterparts has been able to replicate.
ocampo would not let jaime do that bc its not suitable for children. (but also i dont think he can. he's not JEA. he's just not.) but oh my god yes. not one adaptation can do this. they dont get it. when u see the scene comparisons of the fight they have outside of el meson de san diego....there's something missing. and its called sexual tension. fernando is more sad while armando is juggling 25 different emotions and one of them is fear that he's losing betty and no knowing why.
im not ready to revisit LFMB yet, but there WERE good times (all the fun filler before she reads the letter). like it was so good until it got bad. but even at its worst, it wasn't betty in ny. so.
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sukirichi · 3 years
Text
[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ] 
💌 — love letter from @kyriaan​
from track 007. 
Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 
And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'
Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls
Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ
Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)
Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT
👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️
Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it
*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...
The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.
I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩
Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃
Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)
You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...
'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.
Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.
You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.
Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly
Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩
Hfbfbfhfhfieia
[ from saeren ]
NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT
SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN
naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.
HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED
the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)
 YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33
NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka
YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.
and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.
hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.
[ from @kyriaan ]
Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here
But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*
[ from saeren ] 
and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!
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warmau · 7 years
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heck ok that minhyun college au had me feelin some type of way and he's not even my bias so if you wanted could you do one for jr? your writing is absolutely wonderful and i really appreciate all you do
specialty: jonghyun is doing his residency in cardiology 
“of coURSE you want to be a heart doctor” “what do you mean?” “well it’s just,,,,,,you’re so kind and ,,,,,, loving,,,,,it just fiTS YOU” 
^probably an actual conversation between jonghyun and minki in med school LOL
but no he really does his best in all of his work, like he knows that there are limits to how much he can do for people and the fact breaks him because he just wants to make sure everyone is taken care of and is safe
but his selflessness got him into some trouble in med school because people would constantly ask to cheat off him and some even took the credit for work /he/ did
yet jonghyun never as much as complained, even when dongho threatened to fight them for him because jonghyun would just shrug it off and be like “if it helps them, then that is what matters” and everyone is always like yes but at what cost to you and jonghyun just smiles
,,,,,that damn adorable angelic smile,,,,,,,and everyone is like god you really arent a person. you’re some kind of righteous demi-god with a heart too good for your own being LOL
looks totally mature and serious in his uniform and when he does intakes for the cardiology department 
but ,,,,,, the other residents know the tRUTH
about how his ID card is actually yellow and has little flowers on it, how instead of taking the precious time to sleep he’ll stay up and read webtoons on his phone, has a collection of squirtle’s lined up on his bed 
he gets really embarrassed when the superiors compliment his work and he’ll kind of try to hide his smile but also,,,, 
as usual if someone is getting in trouble he’ll try to shift the blame onto himself and again everyone is like jonghyun please stop putting yourself on the line for others
but he can’t,,,,it’s in his nature
one time he almost got kicked out of the program because he was going to take the blame for a negligent resident but thankfully minhyun and dongho intervened in time BUT STILL EVEN AFTER ALMOST GIVING THE REST OF NUEST A HEARTATTACK JONGHYUN CONTINUES TO DO THESE THINGS 
i guess you just can’t hold a good person down lgfjds
anyway back to him being cute,,,, he always compliments minki because he thinks he looks the best in his doctors coat and minhyun is (kinda) jealous while dongho is straight out like jonghyun jonghyun look at me flex - jonghyun hey
got caught singing to himself after putting away blood samples and everyone always asks him to show off his voice and he’s like ,,, a,,,ah i cant
(but he totally did at the christmas party some residents threw and it was. amazing. rumor is someone cried because jonghyuns voice was so nice)
everyone says he flirts with patients when he’s helping them get ready for procedures but jonghyun is just like???? im being nice
and everyone is like being nice doesnt involve being so damn handsome and using a soft tone of voice and flasing that smile-
jonghyun: are you saying my face is flirting for me
dongho: thats exactly it. It’s his face you guys. look at it
did i mention he totally saw a kid holding a pokemon toy in the waiting room and did an impersonation of squirtle to get the kid to laugh. well im mentioning it now.
so it’s technically your first time e v e r at the cardiologist and you have no idea what to expect and you’re kinda nervous,,,
the lady at the front desk is like honey dont worry its all painless and fine but you’re like,,,,,,,,,,,,,not completely convinced 
and when the nurse calls you in you’re expecting that she’ll be the one with you for most of the visit but she sits you down in a room and says one of the residents will do some tests today
and you’re like ok,,,,looking around the painfully bright room and wondering about all the different tools and the big diagrams of the human heart hung up on the wall
and when the door opens you turn and,,,,,damn near fall off the examination table
because the boy in front of you,,,,,,he’s got to be??? an actor???? a singer????? is this a prank camera????
he smiles,,,,dark hair combed neatly against his forehead and he points to the heart monitor in his hands nad he’s like “im jonghyun, ill be doing some tests on you for the doctor.”
in your head you’re still like,,,,,,is this dude actually a resident,,,,,isnt he too good looking
you’re so distracted that you dont even notice him hook you up to the heart monitor, carefully wrapping it around your arm and smiling at you as he pulls back to turn on the machine
and for a moment he watches the bright numbers and he writes something down, coming closer to you you see the numbers on the machine go up
and when you glance over,,,,,jonghyun is looking confused too
he puts his hand back on the part of your arm and tightens the band a bit
the closeness is a bit much for you,,,,seeing his face up close you realize he’s even more handsome than before
and you can literally hear your heartbeat in your ears
jonghyun moves back and you let out a sigh,,,,the number begin to drop down to normal 
and jonghyun is like “that’s,,,,,odd,,,,let me see something-”
he takes a step closer to you again,,,looking at your eyes and taking out his stethoscope and you’re once again hearing your heartbeat in your ears
and after a minute or two jonghyun,,,,,looks down at his notepad and is like
“it seems that everytime i get near you,,,,,your heart rate goes up. are you nervous?”
you in your head: ofc im nervous have you SEEN your FACE
you speaking: ,,,,oh just im nervous of seeing the doctor hahaha,,,
jonghyun nods and gives you a smile,,,,he leans forward to put his hand on your wrist reassuringly
too bad you’re still hooked up to the machine and the numbers go back up past 110 and jonghyun is like oh ,,,,wow
and you’re ike gbifkdfljsfg e@ your body plEASE STOP contrOL yOURSELf
and jonghyun writes something down before taking the band off you and saying that the doctor will come in soon
and you cant even look at him because,,,,wow,,,,you really just got your heart rate raised by this cute resident you dont even know how corny gfldjcbvg u really need to stop falling for people you just meet
but as jonghyun closes the door he cant help but smile to himself because,,,,thats the first time someones heart rate has changed so drastically in front of him
plus the look of slight embarrassment on your face was so cute,,,,,,
the rest of the appointment goes by fine. the doctor is like nothing seems to be wrong and you’re healthy although ive never seen such spikes in heart beat,,,,maybe its the nerves?
and you’re going back out of the room to the front desk when you bump into someone and looking up you see him again,,,,,jonghyun
the heat rushes all up into your face and you’re like fkgdse sorry,,,,,for getting all nervous back there
and he laughs because you’re the patient you shouldn’t ever apologize and you’re like gOsh i probably looked like such a fool
but jonghyun shakes his head and he’s like “a lot of people get nervous at the doctors,,,,,but not a lot of people still manage to look cute”
and you’re like excuse me and he’s like,,,,,oh,,,,i said that outloud?
and you’re like y,,,yes??// and jonghyun is just like coyly smiling and he’s like well no use in hiding it - it was very cute, its nice to know i can have such an impact on someone
and you’re like listen,,,,please,,,, you’re just so attractive up close i thought u werent a real resident for a bit
that makes jonghyun laugh and you cant help but giggle too
you both walk out to the front desk and you tell jonghyun that it was nice to meet him,,,,,and jonghyun is like ah! before you go - here
he hands you a pamphlet on heart health and you’re like,,,,,thank you?
but when you leave you open it up and out falls a note torn from a pad and it says
‘if you ever are free - stop by the hospital again? only if you want of course~ resident kim ‘makes your heart rate go past 110′ jonghyun’
its,,,,,the corniest thing but you cant help but feel a giddiness in your stomach 
jonghyun back in the doctors office is telling himself that he really shouldnt have wote that dumb ‘makse your heart rate go past 110′ part but its DONE now,,,,so he’ll ave to just wait and see
,,,,,,,of course you come back how can you not lmao you show up at the office and the front desk women seems to know whats going on she just winks and tells you to wait while she gets jonghyun
its a short first “date” because it happens outside the hospital cafe where you’re both drinking coffee and talking about your interests and hobbies and jonghyun has to run back after fifteen minutes but,,,,
it’s enough for you two,,,,,
slowly you visit the hospital more and more until finally you and jonghyun share a first kiss near the doctors entrance to the parking lot and it’s,,,,not thE most romantic but jonghyun somehow makes it just that murmuring that after kissing you he wonders if your hearts went over 150 and you’re like jonghyun,,,,wouldnt i die
and he’s like im dying right now,,,,from your cuteness and you’re like pLEASE
dating resident!jonghyun: like most residents he doesnt have any time for real dates but jonghyun will put all of his power into making every visit of yours count, im not kidding he literally does the most of your time together whether its gifting you flowers he totally paid dongho 20 bucks to run out and buy on his lunch because he wanted to have something nice to give you but wouldnt be let off by the doctor to using his lab coat to shield you two from the other residents in the dorm when you get a couple of minutes longer and jonghyun wants to kiss you deeply and passionately but also theres like 5 other people in the room LOL, he tells you that if you ever miss him you can look up videos of squirtle - people say they look a like and you’re like if you’re squirtle am i pikachu??? and he’s like omg,,,,,yes,,,,,,that is our couple dynamic from now on, you learn very quickly that the charming, doctor to be that made your heart race is actually a Big Soft Dork, but you love it and you keep sneaking him in new comic books and snacks and every other resident is like jonghyun ask your significant other to get us stuff too and jonghyun can never say no so you end up having like a literal list of things to bring with you every damn time, you learn that jonghyun is selfless in the way he treats you like you are the only one that matters in the relationship, and tbh you dont like it because you want to show him that his needs are just as important as yours so even when jonghyun holds you in his arms and you feel that he’s trying to be polite you’re like “if you want you can put your hand-” jonghyun blushing like i,,,i shouldn- you: jonghyun we’re dating just do it if you want FGFDSg, you can tell the days that are the most hectic because jonghyun comes out to meet you with his hair a mess and his ID on sideways and you always fix him up and kiss his face and he refers to you as his sunlight in dark times and you’re like please you’re my sunlight you make me so proud (those words literally. melt him), is the type to have his family as his phone background and you’re like wow!! id love to meet your parents some day and jonghyun sheepishly admits he’s bragged about you already on the phone, adores it when you get fussy over him not taking his vitamins and not getting enough sleep and he’s always like ‘this is the life of a resident blah blah i cant stop till im the perfect doctor blah blah’ and you’re just holding his face in your hands like kim jonghyun your body is a temple - and not only your temple anymore but also mine because i love you and care about you so seriously dont overwork yourself every time, jonghyun never says it but seeing you scold him like that kind of gets him going and he always attacks you with kisses that show his urgency and you’re like !!! because as sensitive and gentle as jonghyun usually is sometimes something inside him comes out ;—) and it comes out to the point that you might have to hide your neck the next day lkdsjxcv, you wear jonghyun’s lab coat and stand next to minki and everyone is like ok now whose the best looking “doctor” and jonghyun chooses you and minki is DEVASTATED but minhyun is like finally,,,,someone has knocked minki off his high horse, jonghyun holding you around the waist cuddling his face into your neck completely ignoring everything else around you two: uhuh, he’s always saying sorry for things like sneezing our bumping into you by accident and you’re like kim jonghyun you angel you’re too good for me and this world and he’s like,,,well he’s like im sorry TT and you’re like if you say that again i will kiss you to shut u up (of course he says it again,,, and again,,,an again), you learned that he plays a lot of instruments and when he gets the chance he shows you videos of him and you’re like ,,,, how are you so talented and handsome and how am i so lucky and he’s like,,,,,,im the lucky one shh,,,,you guys are literally the ‘i love you more’ ‘no i love you more’ couple LOL, has a habit of licking his lips when he’s thinking and you’re like jonghyun dont do that around patients i feel like one of them might fall for you, dongho from somewhere: they all already fall for him, when he’s not doing his residency and you guys do get to go out you get to see cutest bf jonghyun in a soft cardigan and a warm smile and you’re like wow i love you so much you are like the human personification of wholesome goodness, jonghyun probably has a photo of you in his locker at the dorm that he talks to at the beginning of the day like ‘let make it through the day so our future is bright,,,,,my future with you’ LIKE HES THAT CUTE OK 
find other pd101 boys here: ong seongwoo | kang daniel | lee daehwinu’est boys here: minhyun 
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Note
do all of them
this took me so long
1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
dio
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
more outgoing? but not at first
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
dio
4. Are you easy to get along with?
so i’ve been told
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
oh def lol
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
girls
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
“relationship” lol yes
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
my soulmate bryant… gonna be doing a tennis tournament in socal
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
if it’s guys talking yeah, otherwise nah
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
ummmmm probably you?
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
I lov u
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
love in color - taeyeon, i blame on you - taeyeon, bambi - jidenna, talking to the moon - kream, foldin clothes - j cole
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
if i like them yea!!!
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
luck idk… but miracles yea it’s a miracle that my girl likes me back lol
15. What good thing happened this summer?
:000 i don’t remember this past summer at ALL
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
UMMmmM OFC not to be cheesy but i literally wrote a song about slow kisses with her afsghfkj
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
yess
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
who even was my first crush? probs some girl at church so no
19. Do you like bubble baths?
I haven’t had a bubble bath in years but probably
20. Do you like your neighbors?
idk my neighbours…………. one of them is the ex-fire chief of oakland which is cool i guess
21. What are your bad habits?
procrastination, staying up late, singing 24/7, not finishing drinks and leaving cups without washing them
22. Where would you like to travel?
I was thinking about studying abroad for a summer in college… we’ll see
23. Do you have trust issues?
i don’t trust myself
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
talking to dio
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
my fingers are hella short so i cant play instruments as well as i’d like :(((
26. What do you do when you wake up?
go back to sleep
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
neither
28. Who are you most comfortable around?
dio
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
no..
30. Do you ever want to get married?
umm mayb? for the benefits i guess. if dio wants to
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?
nooo i just cut it hecka short
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
none?
33. Spell your name with your chin.
pzagtgtik
34. Do you play sports? What sports?
taekwondo… fun fact i used to play basketball.. yea…. all 5 feet and ~1 inch of me
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
TV!!!! i dont watch tv anyway
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
i liked you lmao
37. What do you say during awkward silences?
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
about 5′6″… brown eyes… brown hair that has these hypnotizing curly strands that frame her face… has this strong leader aura that u can kinda tell so ppl rly admire her but she doesn’t even realize…. amazing at soccer, competitive… but SO SOFT…. amazing hilarious storyteller… so intelligent and aware and always striving to better herself!! BEAUTIFUL IN SO MANY WAYS i mean i am actually so lucky so maybe i do believe in luck.. anyway that’s my dream girl… name is dio and she’s mine
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
thrift town? i dont rly like shopping
40. What do you want to do after high school?
go to college… probably ucsb actually…. parentals want me to go to davis more tho
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
if u mess up a boba order yea; if ur sm ent making amber miserable no
42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?
im sleeping or being emo
43. Do you smile at strangers?
sometimes i return that flat-line grimace/smile that white ppl give poc in passing bc now that it’s been pointed out to me i can’t unsee it
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
bottom of the ocean is terrifying,, let’s do it
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
the fact that i get to see dio
46. What are you paranoid about?
nothing
47. Have you ever been high?
perchance
48. Have you ever been drunk?
mayhaps
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
i don’t think so
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
purple
51. Ever wished you were someone else?
nop
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
my ineptitude at public speaking
53. Favourite makeup brand?
idk makeup
54. Favourite store?
farmer joe’s lol
55. Favourite blog?
@peachylook
56. Favourite colour?
orange!
57. Favourite food? 
korean
58. Last thing you ate?
boba
59. First thing you ate this morning?
oyako donburi
60. Ever won a competition? For what?
I won a poetry competition one time and also a musical chairs game
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
nop
62. Been arrested? For what?
nop
63. Ever been in love? 
oh man i’m so in love it’s embarrassing
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
LMAO i’ll pass
65. Are you hungry right now?
nah
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
some
67. Facebook or Twitter?
uhh twitter produces good memes sometimes so i guess twitter
68. Twitter or Tumblr?
this trash site
69. Are you watching tv right now?
no
70. Names of your bestfriends? 
dio, bryant, clara
71. Craving something? What?
cranberry juice
72. What colour are your towels?
pink/white
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?
one
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
no
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
like 20
75. Favourite animal?
doggos/cats
76. What colour is your underwear?
red
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
chocolate
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?
mint chocolate chip
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
white/orange
80. What colour pants?
black
81. Favourite tv show?
fresh off the boat
82. Favourite movie?
currently moana
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
havent watched either
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
^
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?
^
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
crush
87. First person you talked to today?
my dad?
88. Last person you talked to today?
dio
89. Name a person you hate?
*******
90. Name a person you love?
dio
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
tr*mp
92. In a fight with someone?
no
93. How many sweatpants do you have?
like 5
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
like 6
95. Last movie you watched?
the shack
96. Favourite actress?
lee sunbin the loml
97. Favourite actor?
???
98. Do you tan a lot?
i dont wear short clothes enough
99. Have any pets?
noooo :’((
100. How are you feeling?
sad bc my girl is sad
101. Do you type fast?
yea
102. Do you regret anything from your past?
oh man so many
103. Can you spell well?
w e l l
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?
yea
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?
no
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?
i don’t …. maybe??? presumptuous of me to say
107. Have you ever been on a horse?
no
108. What should you be doing?
homework
109. Is something irritating you right now?
the fact that it had to rain this sunday of all days
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
@ dio
111. Do you have trust issues?
trusting my memory wasnt this already a question
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
dio
113. What was your childhood nickname?
…patti?
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
i was born out of it lmao
115. Do you play the Wii?
the first and only console i have ever owned
116. Are you listening to music right now?
no
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?
yes
118. Do you like Chinese food?
yes
119. Favourite book?
whoa idk
120. Are you afraid of the dark?
only if i’m walking in it outside alone
121. Are you mean?
yes i’m p average
122. Is cheating ever okay?
communal cheating in high school hell yea #finesseTheSystem
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?
no
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?
not rly
125. Do you believe in true love?
i believe in soulmates
126. Are you currently bored?
no
127. What makes you happy?
dio, music, good food, games
128. Would you change your name?
yea
129. What your zodiac sign?
pisces
130. Do you like subway?
does BART count
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
i should hope he likes me… we’re soulmates. and we’re both gay as hell
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
?????
133. Favourite lyrics right now?
taeyeon’s i blame on you and love in color!!!!!!
134. Can you count to one million?
i cant count my blessings how am i supposed to count to a million
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
i liked boys LOL
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
closed
137. How tall are you?
5′1″
138. Curly or Straight hair?
curly
139. Brunette or Blonde?
brown/black hair
140. Summer or Winter?
summer
141. Night or Day?
night
142. Favourite month?
march idk
143. Are you a vegetarian?
no
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
dark
145. Tea or Coffee?
tea
146. Was today a good day?
it was a day
147. Mars or Snickers?
snickers
148. What’s your favourite quote?
“I’m cool as a motherfuck.” - my old man gov teacher
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
not rly
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?
“If colour was not a straightforward matter in these racial categories, neither was fixity and immutability.”
4 notes · View notes
ilygsd · 5 years
Text
ok so the question is if im gonna open nyself up to him and tell him i had like 25262 anxiety attacks these 2 last days or if i should just ignore it and pretend that im super cool and all is fine and what r u talking abt??? i wasnt freaked out at all? i was just chilling all day lmaooo
he will see through me wont he..... but if i dont tell him then maybe he thinks im getting better at u know holding stuff in i mean HE DOESNT CARE ANYWAYS IM OBVIOUSLY DOING IT FOR HIM
i am the list pathetic human being in this world. anyone wants to know for how long ive known this guy? HAHAHAHAHA BITCH IVE GROWN EMOTIOKALLY DEPENDANT ON GUYS I HAVENT EVEN MET that was wilde and i would rather not talk abt that fuck brain stfu sont bring up him
anYwAySs i feel better cus he replied
im just gonna pray i wont get emo and anxious when i get to him
i hate that he thinks everything i do is manipulative. he says he doesnt think i do it on purpose...... does that mean i actually AM manipulative? NO ITS JUST HOW IM FEELING I CANT STAND BEING AVABDONED AND OFC ILL DO ANYTHING I CAN ILL BEG ON MY KNEES OR SET THEM ON FIRE IF I HAVE TO i-is t-that..... m-m-manipulat-tive....
god i cant believe he basically said he cant be with me unless i learn to love myself BUTTT it has to be ”on my conditions” do that means i cant love myself to make him stay it means i’ll have to ACTUALLY try and love myself LMAOOO
and ghat will absolutely not happen and this ugly masternind will see through my lies (hes a bit too paranoid tho like he thinks im lying even when i tell the truth ugh) even if i pretend to love myself i mean i cant have these vreakdowns if i love myself right and i will most certainly have these breakdowns and then i absolutely CAN NOT LET HIM KNOWWW BUT I HAVE ZERO IMPULSE CONTROL SO HE WILL KNOW ABYWAYS
oh god he will leave me anyways
but you know what..... thats cool bc we’re gonna stop dating soon anyways
im obviously too unstable he thinks im too immature
also him and his weird ass goals, he even told me he wants to bleach his teeth bc ”im gonna be a poltician, all piliricsn has white shiny teeth” his teeth are already white?? wth
i hate when he does that it creeps the fuck out of me like when he showed up in a nice suit and im like oooh nice feeling fancy today ;)))) and hes like ”no im just making myself comfortable if im gonna be a serious and respect politicsn/psychologist i have to dress like one”
when he threatened to murder me TWICEEEE but then goes like ”i wouldnt actually murder you, that would ruin my future career” OH THANKS SO MUCH YOU EDGY BITCH
so yeah sooner or later he will dump me. also his expectations of sex...... also he literally dont seem to bond at all wheb having sex its like in and out and then maybe some cuddle if he’ nice
ok in exaggerating sex is actually nice with him at least last time but maybe im just thinkin that visnum attracted to him. its like the other way around for us. i told him LOVE is whats behind my sex. i said ofc sexual attraction too but i could probably find some ugly dude attractive if i LOVED them. not gj my ex though ghats sad bc i certainly do love them.... ugh anyways he was low key offended he was like ”if u think in ugly but just love me i’ll cut you” I WAS IFFENDED LIKE EXCUSE ME YOURE THE ONE WHO SEES OUR RELATIONSHIP AS A FUCKING WHORE CONTRACT and hes likes ”yeah”
and thats where i lost my shit :———)
BUT ITS COOL I NEED TO VE ALONE ABD IBDEPENDANT ANYWAYS JUST DONT GO BACK TO YOUR EX THAT WOULD BE SO SHOTTY OF ME I NEED TO SUFFER ALONE ABD GET THINGS DONE BUT AT THE SAME TIME I ALSO NEED TO PRACTICE ABD HES SO GOOD AT PRACTICING REALTIONSHUPS IWTH BC HE DOEST CARE OR GET HURT LMAO only angry and i guess thats his way of ”getting hurt” ugh
i dont need him. hes still a dumb fkn centrist, making racist jokes right in front of my face sometimes he REALLY MADE AN ADOPTION-NO-ONE-LOVED-YOU JOKE IN FRONT OF MY FUCKING FACE WHEN I OPENED UP AVOUT MY ADOPTION THE VERY ISSUE AND REASON I AM LIKE THIS
i actually cant believe he did ghat, i didnt even realise he did until he apologized and made sure ”it was just a stupid joke” and even then i didnt register it. idk he’s dumb as shit its so fkn weird how much i let him hurt my feelings bc if it was someone else i’d fuxk them in the asshole but im just here letting him fuck me over bc i blame it on is aspd bug actually its just an excuse bc..... bc...... bc..... i dont want him to leave OH FUCK IT REALLY IS LIKE THAT RIGHT I REALLY AL STUCK ON HIM GREAT
whatever you do dont fkn devalue him. omg omg u dont eant it to end like with your ex bff who made u depressed and suicidal and now u will live the rest of your life in INTENSE SHAMEEEE bc of how u treated her and reacted to her leaving you DONT ACT LIKE THAT WHEN HE LEAVES YOU DINT
i probably wont. i wouldnt dare to. i thought i could manipulate my ex bff by scaring and threatening her but i couldnt abd i KNOW i wont ve able to with him. i’ll probably just fall into self-hatered self pity and despair abd maybe secretely stalk his social media but i wouldnt dare to do anything
ugagahIbwlsbslsksvdjsnsksbs my bRaINnNn
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