Od razu mówię, nikogo do niczego nie namawiam! Chciałbym żeby ten blog był dla mnie jak taki pamiętnik, i dodatkowa motywacja. Jeżeli triggerują cię takie tematy jak: ana, sh, wszelkiego rodzaju uzależnienia itd. to proszę, uciekaj z tego bloga.
i’ve recovered and relapsed a couple times but i’ve only officially had my eating disorder for a year. feels like an failure to not reach my ugw within a year. anyway looking for friends in the community.
I’m so over this. I’m not eating anymore. If I was hopeless, I’d think that I would be this big forever. I am stuck on this last 5lbs, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get rid of it…
I have a crush (idk if its romantic, maybe just platonic???) on someone whose sexual orientation means that we’re never getting together (and also conservative parents are A Thing) and I keep convincing myself that if I’m mentally fucked up enough, if I don’t eat, if I cut more, if I’m depressed as hell, they’ll end up liking me.
I hate myself so much. They’re someone who struggles with mental health anyways, and here I am being a fucking attention seeking bitch?
I am so ashamed of my body. I hate it so much. I’m trying to work hard but like small things are so big now and nobody believes i make progress bc this goes so slowly. It’s fucking obvious i’m disgusting and my partner doesn’t want me anymore. He is tired of me again clearly. Idk if im suppose to ask or say something. Idk if he is having a depression season again amd just can’t give that much tought on me? Other part of me just sees clearly he doesn’t care that much about me anymore bc fucking look at me. I’m always crying bc i’m fat. I just wanted to really kill myself yesterday
Feels good to let shit out bc this site is 99% bots so no one will ever read these👌🤟 :) :) :)
okay i gained 2kg...its not too bad considering there’s some water weight too
The thing is tho, I’m gonna eat nothing for today and the next 9 days to lose as much as possible, but i’m not sure if that’s going to be enough weight loss for me to be able to eat on my birthday...
I should try combining my starvation with some exercises, maybe
I’m now becoming a Recovery Blog, My old posts will not be deleted, but there will no longer be New Posts About Tips for ED(outside of Harm Reduction), Feel Free to Ask Me Questions(I love answering them), and I may occasionally Rebolog Cats and Post about Hawaii(though I don’t live there, have never visisted, and as far as I am aware am not Hawaiian in the slightest;I desperately want to be corrected by actual Hawaiians, though not desperately enough to intentionally spread Misinformation)
Or does anyone else see themselves gaining weight, and just lose their sh*t and binge on everything like “what’s the point? I’ll always be fat.” Then the second you see your work actually pays off and you drop like 0.2lbs, you become a fasting queen?... like what?...
Weight loss is weight loss. As long as I don’t have to use red colored text I’m doing something right. I honestly think yesterday I could’ve been a lot better, but then again it also could’ve been a lot worse. This is the most stubborn 5lbs of my life.