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#tw: sex mention
apolladay · 1 day
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People who get intrusive thoughts, what are your most common ones?
NOTE: THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INTRUSIVE AND IMPULSIVE.
Intrusive: causes you distress and pertains to harming yourself, another person, or property severely; doing something terrible.
Impulsive: Something not conventionally acceptable, like spraying water at yourself or eating paper*
Sexual intrusive thoughts
Harming someone physically
Harming yourself
Harming someone mentally
Saying terrible things
Other intrusion
I do not experience intrusive thoughts.
*eating something like bleach would count, breaking a glass would not
Impulsive: Something not conventionally acceptable, like spraying water at yourself or eating paper*
Intrusive: causes you distress and pertains to harming yourself, another person, or property severely; doing something terrible.
*eating something like bleach would count, breaking a glass would not
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hannahssimblr · 2 days
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“Evan, can I sit?”
He glances up at me and shrugs, patting the ground next to him so I slump down heavily on it and take a healthy gulp from my bottle. 
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“You good, man?”
“Yeah, amazing.”
“I, uh, I see you were chatting to Leah, there? You know each other?”
“Nah.”
“Really? Well... she’s a weirdo anyway, you’re better off getting away from her, like, I just sell her weed and stuff, I don’t really like when she hangs around too long.”
“Yeah, fair enough.” 
“Was she being weird with you?” 
“Nope.” 
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We’re silent as we watch the flames. I begin to wonder what time it is, and whether I've stayed long enough now for it to be acceptable to go home. As I watch all of the other friends around the fire have fun together I’m struck by how much of an outsider I really am. Sure, Rob and Katie are nice, but will any of that niceness extend into normal life with the eyes of everyone else at school upon us? Surely they will go back to the steps at the back of the school while I go back to the rugby changing rooms, or the library, as it may be and things will resume as they are, as they've always been and always will be. Realistically, would they ever be seen with me? Would I ever be seen with them? There's this weird, empty feeling in me, a feeling that just compounds day after day, month after month, year after year, and it's like I don’t belong anywhere or to anyone. I'm just floating in the in-between, and who even am I? What does it mean to even-
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“Hey,” Evan interrupts my spiralling inner dialogue, “I meant to say to you that it’s cool that you came along, you know, even when Jen and Michelle didn’t.”
This takes me by surprise, “You think?”
“Yeah, I mean, I suppose I kind of thought you were just hanging out with us sometimes because of them, and that you didn’t really want to be there, but,” a shrug, “I suppose that isn’t true.”
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“No, I like hanging out with you.”
“And it’s not just because you’ve been ostracised by your other friends?”
I hesitate for a beat, “No.”
Evan laughs, “Wow, I’m so convinced!”
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“No, come on,” I rock to the side and nudge his shoulder with mine, “Like, yeah, sometimes it’s nice to have Jen here, but I’m fine, I can handle myself around the emos… and as for Michelle, well, she hates me, so it’s actually kinda comfier when she’s not here, and- oh,” I realise immediately what I’ve said, “um, well I don’t really mean that, it-”
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“No, it’s okay,” Evan says, “I know that you two aren’t exactly best friends or anything.”
“Ah, so she’s talked to you about me.” 
“Nah, you’ve honestly never come up in conversation.”
“Somehow that’s worse.”
He snickers. 
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“How are, um,” I pick at the beer label with my thumb, “How are things going with you guys? Like, the last time we talked you were feeling kinda…”
A sigh, “Oh, yeah, it’s the same. Like, she’s so nice but sometimes I don’t feel like I get enough from her.”
“Uh huh.”
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“I kind of get a bit annoyed about it sometimes, like, how are we supposed to be together properly if I hardly see her? Like, man, she’s allowed to come to my house like, once a week. In the afternoon. And that’s the only time we can… uh, hook up or whatever. It’s so annoying.”
“Just from an outsider's perspective, you know, you seem pretty happy.”
“Yeah. She’s definitely into me,” He musses up and fixes his fringe, “I dunno. It’s fine, just sometimes I wonder about shit. You know what I mean, right?”
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“I’m probably not the best person to ask, seeing none of my relationships have worked out so far, and I’m also fairly drunk, so…”
“But you know what it’s like to be with someone who wouldn’t give you the things you needed, right?”
“Yeah, ‘course.”
“So you do get it.”
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“Mm, I suppose,” as our conversation tapers off I let my mind drift into thoughts about love and loneliness and the hollow disappointment of all of my relationships. These are bitter, useless, self destructive thoughts as usual, made even worse by the fact that I’m not exactly capable of rational thought while inebriated. Is drinking bad for me? Am I a miserable drunk? I have to physically shake myself out of my own head before I start talking myself into a hole again.
I turn to Evan to start saying something else about, I don’t know, whether he’s ever tried pranking someone by turning their school bag inside out and putting the books back into it or something stupid like that, but I see he’s distracted by something else across the bonfire. 
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It’s that girl with the pink hair. She’s leaning over a bag to rummage for more beer, and her short skirt rides up when she’s bent over like that so that her underwear is visible through the sheer material of her tights. I frown at the dirty little smirk on his face, the way hungry eyes follow her movements, and the look between them as she glances over her shoulder and sees him watching her. I nudge my knee against his to interrupt whatever is going on.
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“Wow, nice legs, huh?” 
He looks at me, surprised, but lets out a rough laugh, “Yeah, for sure.”
“Is she into you or am I just seeing things?”
“Nah, I don’t know about that.”
“Oh, c’mon, no, I’m just messing with you, she just looked like… I dunno.”
“Like what?”
I shift awkwardly, “You know what, don’t mind me, I’ve had too much to drink, I thought I detected flirting, or whatever, I guess I was wrong.”
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The girl kneels onto the ground and starts asking around for the bottle opener, and Evan doesn’t take his eyes away from her. “She’s pretty though, isn’t she?”
“Hm?”
“Carlie. That’s her name. She’s pretty, do you think?”
“She’s single?”
“Yep.”
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“So are you trying to set me up with her or are you just pointing that out?”
“I’m not trying to set you up.” Evan seems agitated by this idea that I might try to date pretty Carlie, who, by the way, treats me like I am contagious. As though it’s any of his business what she does, as if he should even care. Something sour settles in my gut, but I can’t tell whether it’s that I'm weirded out by this conversation or if the alcohol is nauseating me. 
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“Right, well, she’s not my type,” I watch his face carefully, “Is she yours?”
“She’s pretty hot.”
Maybe he's looking for my approval or my agreement, which I don’t give him on purpose. To see where it leads me I respond with a benign, “Oh, you think?”
“Uh huh,” They catch eyes again and she smiles coyly and quickly looks away to resume her conversation. That’s flirtation. She’s flirting with him, and him back, right in front of my face. 
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“You know, a lot of people would consider your girlfriend to be pretty hot too.” It’s true, I’ve heard those rugby boys saying it before, the only time they ever had anything remotely complimentary to say about any of the emos was to point out the things they fancied about Michelle and what they might like to do to her if she A. wasn’t emo, or B. nobody knew, so that they wouldn’t have to suffer the social consequences. I feel disgusted again at this memory. I know where I was, sitting on the bench lacing up my boots and saying nothing while they spoke casual filth about a girl I know. 
It’s a similar feeling to the one I have now at this bonfire with Evan, and maybe this is how he is when he’s drunk, maybe he just gets a bit… leery, but when he stares across the fire at someone who isn’t his girlfriend I swear I am looking at Willy FitzHerbert. 
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He waves my comment away, “Yeah but at least Carlie is interested in sex.”
“How do you know that?”
He leans closer, “Obviously because I’ve done it with her.”
“Yeah?” I say, “When?”
He smirks and says nothing.
I push him again. “A few years ago?”
He lowers his voice and looks at me with eyes that glitter with salacious excitement. I don’t think I’ve ever once seen another boy look so pleased with himself as he says: “Try a month ago.”
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It takes all my self control not to react. I just pause for a second as a shock of revulsion rips through my body, I feel it from my feet to the top of my head, and then, when I decide to speak, my voice is strange to my own ears, “While you were with Michelle.”
A shrug, “It just happened on a night out when she wasn’t there. I dunno.”
“She doesn’t know?”
“Course not. She’d break up with me.”
“And... you don’t want that.”
“No, because we’re in love. This stuff with Carlie, it was just… you get what I mean. It’s not like that with her.”
I sigh, “Uh, yep.”
So it appears it is the same for Evan as it is for all the others. Michelle is the virgin, Carlie is the slut and he wants it all at the same time. A girl worthy of love, and a girl interested in sex, two things that cannot converge. There is no girl that can be both.
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“It felt good to let loose with someone who knew what they were doing, and like, not have to think so hard about making the other person all safe and comfortable and, blah,” he rolls his eyes, “Carlie is cool.”
“Right, yeah, she seems it.”
“You get me, right? Guys like us, you know, we need to be able to just relax sometimes, not think so hard…”
“Yeah, for sure… Guys like us, huh?”
“Hell yeah!” He clinks his beer bottle against mine, “I knew you’d get it, honestly, I wasn’t sure if I should say something but I feel good now that you understand what I meant.”
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I try to laugh but it sounds weird and strangled, so I bring the bottle to my lips in the hope that drinking will disguise my discomfort, or at the very least numb it a bit. I finish the last two thirds of it and toss it somewhere amongst the miscellaneous rubbish, remnants of a hundred other miserable bonfire nights on Dollymount strand.  
Then, after a minute or two Evan nudges me again. It’s hard to look at him but I force myself to because it is what I would do if this situation was normal, “You’re not going to say anything, right? Like, to Michelle or Jen? Like I know you probably won’t...” A laugh as he adjusts his fringe, “That'd be insane, I know, but I wanted to make sure.”
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“Me? Nah,” I say, “Why would you even have to ask? Don’t worry about it,” I scratch the back of my head, “your, uh, your secret is safe with me.”
Beginning // Prev // Next
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In case anyone needed this reminder:
Your fav COD man does not get off on your pain during sex. Ever.
So much of male-dominated language involving sex glorifies a woman's pain for his pleasure. She's expected to "just take it".
Your fav COD guy does not want that when he's with you. And if you've come to think of it as normal - because of previous experiences, because that's what everyone tells you, because you don't want to make a fuss and disappoint him, whatever the reason - he'll put a stop to it and have a serious talk with you about it.
These men have seen and experienced horrible shit in their lives.
You are their safe space. Their home. The one person they feel like they can be truly vulnerable with in a world that has made them battle-rough with scars, misery, and grief.
They want you to stay soft with them. They want you to have the safety of completely pure pleasure. They never ever want you to force or endure anything, let alone for their sake.
If it's a kink you're into, that's a different story.
But if you're not into it, your fav won't go anywhere near it. They won't pressure you to "just try it, maybe you'll like it". It's completely off the table, never to be mentioned again, and they'll be sure to lavish you in all the things you really love to show that you can relax with them.
Just as you have allowed them to lower their guard and let down their walls, they will do the same for you. When you are with them, you are safe in every sense of the word.
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comatosebunny09 · 4 months
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insecurities | astarion a.
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summary: “why don’t you like me?” he asks, his voice small amid the symphony of the forest dwellers. you choke on your spittle. how unlike your undead friend to sound so unsure of himself.
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The night is quiet.
Most of your companions have retired to their tents. Tending to their weapons, reading, sleeping.
You’re left by the fire, snapping twigs to further kindle it. You smile quietly. The atmospheric pop and fizz bring you comfort as a summery breeze slides in.
You turn away in search of more wood when you hear a weighted sigh, followed by the thunk of the log behind you.
Seems someone’s decided to impede on your party of one.
You spin around to see your favorite vampire sitting opposite you on the log, his features accentuated by the fire. Astarion watches you with a pout on his lips and his brows knit together. You snort, wholly prepared for him to complain about something.
“What’s wrong, sunshine?” you query, squatting and poking around the campfire. “Our lodgings not to your liking? You break a nail? A rat crawl up into your ass?” Your eyes crinkle with mirth. 
Astarion leans back on his hands, one leg crossed over the other. He stares at you with those petulant eyes, studying you for a beat. It’s unlike him to be so serious. Silence stretches between you for a moment longer before he asks, “Why don’t you like me?”
You nearly choke on your spittle. His brazenness floors you. Literally. You plop down on the ground, dusting off your hands, your expression bemused. “Excuse me?”
“Oh, come now.” He crosses his arms. Looks off to the side, face screwing up into a scowl. “You haven’t slept with me. You shrug off all my advances. Hells, it feels like you won’t even give me the time of day.”
Another snort. Your tone drips with sarcasm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know I had to sleep with someone to show I cared.”
Astarion scoffs, waving a dismissive hand. “Bullshit. Have you seen me? I’m irresistible. The very definition of sex on legs, so I’ve been told. People would kill for a chance at me. And I would’ve bedded you a thousand times over, had you stopped playing hard to get.”
You sigh. Laugh a little disbelievingly, slowly standing. “Astarion—”
“I’m not your type, am I? Do you even have a type? It’s Halsin, isn’t it? That oaf of a druid.”
You caution a few steps around the fire towards him, your hands stretched out placatingly. You’re exasperated. “Astarion, look—”  
“I don’t blame you. I would’ve bedded him, too.”
“Astarion!” 
You’re in front of him now. Bent over, gathering his icy cheeks into your palms. He looks at you with confusion marring his features. You have his attention, nonetheless.  
Your eyes gloss over with wetness. A forlorn smile rounds your lips. Your chest swells with emotion, and you tuck some errant curls behind Astarion’s ear.
“I thought we knew each other better than that.” You swallow before wetting your lips. You look down at the ground, inhaling deeply. Kneel before him, taking up his hands with all the gentleness of the world, your eyes shining with the threat of tears.
“You are more than your body, Astarion. More than some fling. More than a romp in the dirt. I wish you could see that. Sex is nice. Gods, it can be such an incredible thing. But I don’t need it to know I mean something to you. And I don’t need it to show you I adore you.”
Astarion blinks. For a moment, only the two of you exist in this world of chirping crickets and crackling fire. Tenderness flashes across his face before the vampire chuckles softly, patting your hands, squeezing them. His lashes flutter. He’s breathtaking.
“You adore me, do you?” Astarion purrs, his cockiness returning tenfold. “I am rather amazing, aren’t I?” He leans back again to have a look at his nails, radiating smugness.
You snort, standing and wiping your hands on your breeches. “You just had to muck it up, didn’t you?” You can’t help the quirk of your lips as you turn back to tend to the fire.
“Darling. Who would I be if I didn’t?”
“And to think, I was just about to kiss you.”
The indignant sound Astarion releases behind you makes your ribs blossom with pride.
Ah, well. Maybe next time.
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masterlist
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m-ayo-o · 3 months
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regarding the recent megumi drabble.........hickeys.....lipstick marks.....all over his abs.....and then you go lower....and lower......
that's too hot tho :( i need u to live in my inbox please   said megumi drabble regarding his fine abs 18+ oral / afab reader x 21+ megumi 1.2k wc
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After your boyfriend treated you to such a sensual ride on his abs, the following day you just had to repay the favour… you know he's not expecting it– his selfless nature means he only cares about making you feel good, even if he's stiff and bursting through his pants. 
But tonight you're still feeling that intense obsession with his body– as always– and it really isn't helped when he steps out of the shower, all hot with that dreamy, relaxed look in his eyes, his body covered in droplets of water with steam escaping the small room adjacent to your bedroom.
Your tapping and scrolling on your phone is soon forgotten when you look up in time to see him remove the towel from around his waist– you hold your breath and stare.
He gives his hair a rough towel dry then starts swiping the cotton over his body, collecting the beads of water that rest over his defined muscles. It's not like he's trying to turn you on… but everything he's doing just looks so sensual. He pats his pale skin dry and you admire the jet black hairs around his body– all trimmed neatly, how his arms flex, then the ridges of his adonis belt and further down… and you think god he takes care of himself. 
You know he works so hard... you want to show him how much it means, and how lucky you are to have such a perfect boyfriend. 
So you stand up and approach him slowly, slinking towards him in your cute nightie. 
“Megumi~?” 
“Mhm?”
“Did I ever tell you…” you pause and take the towel in your hand, “how pretty you are?” 
He snorts a little and releases the damp material, and you drop it on the floor, leaving him completely naked. 
“I'm not kidding,” you insist, trying your best serious face with the king of stoic expressions. You place your hands delicately on his chest and run your fingers up his neck, earning a little crack in the thin line of his lips. 
Starting to rise on your tiptoes, you inch closer to his face. 
“Can I show you, please, how perfect you are.. to me?” 
You know you tell him very often, and you know he appreciates that. Your kindness and sweet words have done wonders for his confidence (perhaps a little too much). But you love it when he accepts your love and compliments and you can tell he feels so comfortable in himself. And of course, he always shows you how much he loves you… but for you, he has started to open that pretty mouth of his and tell you. It means the world to you. 
But now it's your turn to take his approach. So you run your fingers into his inky black hair and bring him into a long and slow kiss. You take the lead, peppering the corner of his mouth then nibbling at his lower lip. You forget that you were still wearing your makeup from earlier when you see smudges on his lips. He won't mind. 
He opens up with a little sigh and you sink into one another. Losing yourself almost entirely, you step over to the bed and press his naked body down, until he's lying under you. Your nightie fans out over his hips and you sit right on the growing bulge of his crotch. It always makes you so excited that it only takes a few kisses and touches to get him hard. 
Your lips move down his body now, still taking it so slow, touching him gently and humming his name, repeating those sweet compliments till he's smiling like an idiot and telling you to stop. He's going to get such an ego if you're not careful. 
But you keep going, skimming your lips over his collarbones and chest, leaving pretty pinkish marks over his body. 
“Mm~” he likes how your lips feel on him… so warm and tender, but he wants a little more, “kiss me harder, baby~” 
And you can't deny your man's sweet request, as you open your mouth and swirl your tongue over his pec before sucking a little bruise on his body. Everything is so dainty with you, even in the way you leave marks on him. They're not like the wide and deep bruises he paints over your neck, but smaller and smattered over his body as he tells you to keep going. 
Your love bites and lipstick stains shower his chest, where you give his nipples a teasing suck, then dip lower over his ribcage, finally reaching the sculpted muscles of his abs. 
Feeling aware of yours and his arousal, you can't help licking and biting him sensually until your lipstick is all smudged. 
And he keeps moaning for more– you know he's feeling totally spellbound by what you're doing to him, so you kiss and suck your way down the ridges of his body till your fingers find those neat dark hairs between his legs. You take the base of his now full and perfectly curved erection in your hand and he shivers. 
“Uhh~~ mmh~” he gulps down a little moan– you surprised him with your assertive motions, knowing that's what he wanted. 
And it's his lucky day, because he doesn't have to ask you to keep going and you take his tip in his mouth and–
“Mmhnm~~ ththankyou, oh god that feels good, princess~”
He hums his praise and wraps his fingers in your hair till you're bobbing up and down eagerly. You wanna take him all the way back– you always try so hard till you gag on him. But, he just finds that even hotter– the sounds you make, the way your spit drips from the smudged pink stains on your lips, and how you have to pull away to gasp for air make him want to finish all over your face.
And he imagines that now, as he takes your neck and makes you swallow him down again and again, repeating this motion till you're tearing up. 
“Sorry- sorry baby~ can't stop– too– ahh– f-fucking good–”
He isn’t going to last long. 
“Gh-mhmm~~”
It's not easy, but you'll happily choke on him till you run out of air. And that eagerness, the way you keep nodding and taking him deeper and further back makes him harder and he starts to lose control.
“Fuck me you take my dick- so fucking well, princess-” 
“Mmmmhm~” 
You nod and swirl your tongue around him so sensually and he swears he sees you try to smile even with your mouth stuffed full and he can’t believe how beautiful you look and– 
“‘m-m cumming– “ he holds the back of your neck really hard, dragging your throat over his dick one more time as he spills his load. He uses your mouth to milk him slower and slower, until he lets go of your neck and you clean him up, taking time to suck on his tip to make him shudder with overstimulation before finally releasing him. 
You take the biggest breath and wipe your mouth, then collapse on his thighs, panting with a giddy smile on your face. You feel his fingers in your hair as he showers you with praise once more, telling you how good you were for him, letting him cum down your throat like that… and how hot you look with your makeup all ruined. 
You lift your head up, eyes scanning over his gorgeous body once more, to see those rosy prints of your lips all over him and you swear you could do it all over again.
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megumi | m.list
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shmaroace · 10 months
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sex as part of pride and asexuality as part of pride can coexist. the inclusion of one does not have to mean the exclusion of the other
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reyrapidsbutgayer · 4 months
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Ranking All Elden Ring Bosses by Fuckability
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It was only a matter of time until I made a post like this.
In this hypothetical all of the bosses can be reasonably communicated with and are not actively trying to kill you.
Repeat bosses not included, duo bosses counted seperate.
It should also be assumed that all of these bosses have access to their magic/items/resources to benefit them in bed.
Explanation of Grading system:
Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)
These characters are not sentient enough to communicate consent, or are physically incapable of sex.
Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)
Character sucks so badly that they do not deserve to experience pleasure in any shape or form.
Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)
These character are fully capable of sex but would never participate in sex due to lack of interest or overabundance of moral convictions.
Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)
I mean, you COULD have sex with these characters but why would you?
Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)
These characters are average in bed, nothing crazy or noticeable. Some might end up in this category because they ARE good at sex, but the entire process would be inconvenient or uncomfortable to initiate.
Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)
These characters are good at sex, give or take a few points depending on their mood or situation.
Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)
These characters excel in giving pleasure and would be well worth the time and effort involved.
Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)
These characters would be so good at sex that all other factors are irrelevant. They are serving and we are here for it.
Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)
These are characters that should fall lower in the rankings, but their sexual prowess supersedes their inherent awfulness to a noteworthy degree.
Full list below the read more. Obviously it's not going to be sfw.
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Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)
Dragonkin Soldier:
Mindless beast
Astel, Naturalborn of the Void
Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.
Fia's Champions:
Ghosts, simps.
Regal Ancestor Spirit
Animal
Erdtree Avatar
A plant
Great Wyrm Theodorix
Mindless beast.
Ulcerated Tree Spirit
A plant, no junk
Tibia Mariner:
Skeleton
Red Wolf of the Champion:
Animal.
Full-Grown Fallingstar Beast
Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.
Abductor Virgin
First off, just some snakes in a robot. Second, virgin.
Erdtree Burial Watchdog
Stone gargoyle
Crystalians
Non-organic
Mad Pumpkin Heads
Unable to consent due to madness.
Cemetery Shade
Unable to consent due to mind controlling parasite.
Spirit-Caller Snail
Animal
Runebear
Animal
Miranda the Blighted Bloom
A plant
Guardian Golem
Stone gargoyle
Starscourge Radahn:
Unable to consent due to madness
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Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)
Elden Beast:
Too catholic.
Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing:
Dick game weak - unironically posts joker memes.
Omenkiller:
Basically a cop.
Necromancer Garris:
Killed his family, not a good husband.
Royal Revenant:
Won't stop screaming (in an unsexy way)
Godrick the Grafted:
Incel - Also all that murder and torture business but mostly the Incel stuff.
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Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)
Valiant Gargoyle:
Could probably have sex if it wanted to, but is kinda going through a lot right now. Ya know, that whole "Is made of several corpses mashed together" thing.
Malenia, Blade of Miquella:
Look, I ALSO wanted her to higher up on this list, but let's be honest here. Her body is rotting and falling apart, she just isn't up for sex in her current form. In her prime? She'd be top of the list. She's the daughter of Marika and Radagon, she'd be playing fuck/marry/kill with every warrior who crossed her path. (in that order)
Death Rite Bird:
I think it might be physically capable of sex, but is too busy burning corpses to bother with stuff like that.
Black Blade Kindred:
Same reason as the Valiant Gargoyle but you might have like 2% more of a chance because they are goth.
Maliketh, the Black Blade:
Would normally be a sex god, but is too religious. Probably took a vow about this sort of thing.
Morgott, the Omen King:
You kidding me? This guy has the same energy as a repressed youth pastor. He's gonna be a virgin till the day he dies. The dude sided with the same religious order that locked him a sewer and tried to kill him. He's not out there getting phone numbers he's too busy praying and judging others for their 'impure thoughts'.
Draconic Tree Sentinel:
Married to his job, also physically chained to his horse. He ain't taking off that armor anytime soon.
Wormface:
Too sad, leave him alone his face is full of worms.
Tree Sentinel:
Same as the Draconic Tree Sentinel but he's a tiny bit more naive so you might have a better chance.
Elder Dragon Greyoll:
Too sleepy, but still kinda a milf.
Grafted Scion:
There might be some genitals in there somewhere but I don't think they know how or even want to use them.
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Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)
Esgar, Priest of Blood:
No sense of hygiene, is always covered in blood (in an unsexy way)
Mohg, Lord of Blood:
This loser is dripping with all the least sexy bodily fluids and he has sharp horns sticking out of him. Even if you got him in bed you'd only enjoy like 5% of it. Plus you just know he'd be all needy afterwards and try to get you to join his MLM.
Borealis the Freezing Fog:
Too cold, not a snuggler.
Elemer of the Briar:
The armor stays ON during sex.
Kindred of Rot:
It's like all the worst possible aspects of alien biology, it won't be nearly as fun as you hoped.
Sanguine Noble:
Same as all the other Mohg followers, too sticky and too smelly.
Decaying Ekzykes:
He's sick right now, leave him alone.
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Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)
Loretta, Knight of the Haligtree:
I'm sure she'd be a decent lover. Maybe a little overzealous but she'd has good intentions.
Grave Warden Duelist:
I mean these guys are hot and probably fuck like a truck but they are not the most caring lovers, also they are covered in live snakes so there is that.
Night's Cavalry:
If you like goth knights I'm sure they'd be fine.
Onyx Lord:
Their skin probably feels like stone, but I bet they can pull off all sorts of freaky zero-g sex stuff if you ask them.
Alabaster Lord:
Same as the Onyx Lord but slightly more goth.
Fell Twins:
Once you get past the horns and stuff I bet the Omens are actually pretty good in bed, just watch out.
Demi-Human Queens:
I feel like all Demi-humans are pretty good lovers but their biology probably has some unexpected drawbacks.
Stonedigger Troll:
If you can get past the texture and the size I bet they could be decent in bed.
Flying Dragon Greyll:
A surprisingly unsexy dragon, but a dragon is a dragon and still worth at least a one night stand.
Glintstone Dragon Adula:
A dragon willing to kill racist magic users, earns them a few extra points.
Beastman of Farum Azula:
On one hand the Beastmen probably have crazy mating skills, but they are also zombies, which detracts some points for all the decay.
Battlemage Hugues:
Contrary to popular belief, Wizards are not very good at sex. They spend all their time studying instead of partying, at least Hugues is willing to get his hands dirty.
Commander O'Neil:
Seems like a decent guy, but probably won't shut up about his time in the military. Also he is infected with scarlet rot so that might be a mood killer.
Bloodhound Knight Darriwil:
The bloodhound knights are probably pretty wild in bed if you can earn their loyalty, but good luck with that.
Adan, Thief of Fire:
The dude committed heresy, that has to earn him some sexy points.
Soldier of Godrick:
He's a good boy, he's doing his job so throw him a bone.
Flying Dragon Agheel:
One of the first dragons you encounter, so he earns some points for style.
Demi-Human Chief:
Same as the queens, but probably a bit rougher in bed.
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Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)
Lichdragon Fortissax:
A much sexier dragon, you know they were hooking up with Godwin. Only loses some points for all the death rot.
Crucible Knight Siluria:
A bit gloomy, but I bet the crucible knights can do all sorts of freaky stuff with their animal body parts.
Mimic Tear:
A slippery liquid shapeshifter, need I say more?
Commander Niall:
A way better guy than O'Niel, plus he just a bit more daddy energy.
Fire Giant:
Once you get past his size, his sadness and the giant fell god of destruction in his chest, I bet he's got something going on.
Ancient Hero of Zamor:
Gives me Hercules/Amazonian vibes, I could be into it.
Cleanrot Knight:
Lesbian activities detected.
Crucible Knight:
These guys have tails, horns, wings and big old throat sacks. Imagine the possibilities.
Glintstone Dragon Smarag:
Has a sword. If you hear "Dragon holding a sword" and your pants aren't already off, we can't be friends.
Bols, Carian Knight:
He seems like a good boy.
Scaly Misbegotten:
I feel like the Misbegotten have some really interesting possibilities with their animal biology. I bet they have bonobo type societies and that could be fun.
Leonine Misbegotten:
Same as the other Misbegotten.
Misbegotten Warrior:
Same as the other Misbegotten.
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Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)
Crucible Knight Ordovis:
Has all the desirable traits of a Crucible Knight but I also imagine they are super into threesomes.
Perfumer Tricia:
She seems really nice, and would be a super attentive lover. Plus she probably has access to crazy drugs and could hook you up.
Nox Swordstress & Nox Priest:
You just know that the Nox were getting up to crazy hot and crazy unethical experiments in their underground cities. These two probably get up to some wild shit and they are inviting you to join them.
Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon:
As she is now, I bet she'd be too sad to really be in a relationship again. But she kept up with Radagon and you just know she has some tricks up her sleeves that could make you abandon the golden order.
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Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)
Dragonlord Placidusax:
Has two male heads and three female heads, imagine...
Ancient Dragon Lansseax:
Formed a whole freaky dragon/human cult and you just know they got into some eyes-wide-shut orgies behind those doors.
Godfrey, First Elden Lord (Hoarah Loux):
We all knew he'd be this high on the list. He was just a normal dude but he managed to keep pace with Queen Marika (Who is basically a goddess of fertility) for a good long while. He will fold you in half (on the battlefield and in the bedroom.)
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Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)
Radagon of the Golden Order:
He sucks in all the worst ways, but I mean... You can't NOT. Both Radagon and Marika are the embodiment of evil but they managed to suck and fuck their way across an entire continent for generations. You HAVE to give a try at least once.
Godskin Duo:
Oh my god will it be awful with all those flayed human skins, but you know you are still gonna have to. They can stretch and do all sorts of freaky stuff with their bodies, plus they kill gods and nothing is sexier than heresy.
Vyke, Knight of the Roundtable:
The dude is a mad killer but... he can still probably get it, might as well give it a try.
God-Devouring Serpent / Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy:
Personally I wouldn't, he's a loser and will probably kill you. But he is also a giant snake made up of squirming hands doing all sorts of sexual experiments, I can't blame you if you want to give it a taste.
Black Knife Assassin:
They committed a whole lot of treason but the power of armored lesbians is too hard to resist.
Patches:
If you are already having sex with from software characters, you gotta give Patches at least one attempt. When you wake up he'll have robbed you, but you knew what you were getting into.
926 notes · View notes
pussydrunkalastor · 1 month
Note
Could you do Val x reader headcanons, maybe cuddling with Val?
Pairing: Valentino x afab!reader Relationship: between FWB and established Genre: fluff Format: Headcanons Warnings: mentions of sex and NSFW topics. Put simply, there will be some suggestive content, but it’s not explicitly NSFW Word count: 372
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With Valentino being Valentino, he isn’t usually the type of person to like to cuddle with anyone
Val is more into sexual intimacy than cute, loving acts of affection
But when you are able to get him to cuddle, he’d be really grumpy about it at first, but after a few minutes he’s just the sweetest little cuddle bug 🥰
Especially when you’re alone. That’s when he’s most likely to give in. Even with just the other Vee’s in the room, he’s going to keep putting on the “I’m only interested in sex” act.
Unless he’s somehow feeling extra vulnerable for your love and affection.
Velvette probably has at least one video she took of Val cuddling with you without anything sexual going on, including dirty jokes.
Val’s cuddles are surprisingly warm and comforting. It’s like a drug, and you just can’t get enough.
My personal favorite headcanon, is that Val smells like strawberries (sometimes chocolate, sometimes normal) because it fits the “charming” and “romantic” aura that Valentino is said to give off in the show.
And this leads me to believe his cuddles—and just presence in general—is even more addicting.
One night specifically it was such a hard day for you and you really were not in the mood for sex at all, so you fell asleep in each other’s arms and you two were just so comfortable in each other’s presence that you wouldn’t get out of bed and Vox had to run in and wake Val up, only to see you two tangled up together in the bed get your head out of the gutter
So now of course, Val is going to be teased about it because he was caught by both of the other Vee’s, but eventually he’ll get used to it.
And finally, because Val is busy and still into sex more than genuine caring love and affection, cuddling with him is very rare (probably once every 3-6 months), and you’ve learned to just enjoy the moment while it lasts and savor being under his touch because you know that he’s going to go back to being your normal pimp Valentino in just a few seconds.
Blink, and you might miss the affectionate side of Valentino.
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luvgumii · 3 months
Text
fuckboy!gojo
tw: manipulation, nsfw, falling in love, mentions of fingering and oral, penetrative sex, slight cock warming.
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he definitely met you at a party that one of your friends had dragged you to. you weren't the kind to party, that's what you told him when he approached you as you stood awkwardly in the corner. you knew what kind of guy he was when you noticed his eyes raking over your clothing, even when your clothes weren't necessarily revealing. you told him you didn't do hookups, and he said that you didn't have to do that with him. that was a lie. he would play nice for a few days, then take advantage of you one night when you're feeling vulnerable, and spend the night fucking you into the mattress, and cumming deep in that untouched pussy. that was low even for him, but you looked so innocent and pure at that party. he wanted to corrupt you so badly and decided that you were worth the wait.
but he didn't expect this.
he didn't expect to sneak into your room and night lay in your bed, to hold you in his arms as you rambled about your day to him. he didn't expect to be waiting for your classes to finish so that he could take you to your favourite cafe. he didn't expect to pick you up from your clubs and drop you off at your house every other night. he definitely didn't expect to meet your parents by coincidence, and he didn't expect them to like him.
he didn't expect his cheeks to flush whenever you smiled at him. he didn't expect his heart to beat faster when you held his hand or hugged him. he didn't expect the way you made him feel when you kissed him, and it was only a peck on the cheek. and he didn't expect his face to light up when you agreed to be his.
and he didn't expect for the two of you to never fuck. he only ever made love to you. kissing you lovingly, his sapphire eyes always locked on you. working you open gently and softly on his fingers and tongue, pulling multiple orgasms from your depths. running his hands all over your body, squeezing and caressing. them he pushed into you gently, kissing away the tears that fell from your eyes as he broke through your hymen. his hands rubbed your clit to turn the pain into pleasure, and he squeezed your hips and waist, as if you'd ever leave him. he'd make sure that you came first, your whimpers and moans are music to his ears. he would groan and whisper sweet words in your ear as you clenched around him so tightly he could barely pull out and thrust back in. then he came so deep inside of you, painting your walls white. he wouldn't even bother pulling out, rolling the two of you onto your side and pulling you into his chest. he kissed you all over your face, telling you to rest and that he'll take care of the clean up. and you did, you fell asleep in his arms, his heartbeat lulling you to sleep.
he didn't expect to fall in love with you.
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dividers by @cafekitsune
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friday-night-fangirl · 2 months
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*clears throat* AND THEN ALONG CAME ZEUS! HE HURLED HIS THUNDERBOLT-
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skyrim-forever · 8 months
Text
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so I finally watched the video...
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apolladay · 3 days
Note
What is your "body count" (the number of people you've had sex with)?
Define "sex" in whatever way makes the most sense to you.
0 people/I'm a virgin
1 person
2-5 people
6-10 people
11-20 people
21-30 people
31-40 people
41-50 people
51-75 people
76-100 people
More than 100 people (but I know the specific number)
I've lost count
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hannahssimblr · 3 days
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Night descends upon us and yet, as usual, the stars don’t shine brightly the way that they did last summer when our bonfire roared under clear, sparkling skies. I think of that night now as I sit on a patch of cool earth in the dunes above Dollymount Strand surrounded by rusting cans and the sun-bleached wrappers of discontinued chocolate bars.
I remember the balmy air of late July, how I didn't even heed it until now when the night is still too cold to sit out in yet we all pretend it isn't. Anyway, it’s too late to point it out to the crowd that's already gathered here, drinking and playing music from a speaker that crackles every time the bass gets too loud, so I sit as close as I can to the flames without climbing into the pit with them, and let their heat lick over my skin. 
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I share a few beers with a big, severe looking boy next to me for a while. He's got silver spikes protruding from his lip, and high cheek bones that make his face look kind of gaunt and hollow like a Tim Burtonesque character. We called him Lurch at school, because he’s also about six foot five and rake thin, but tonight I learn that Lurch’s real name is Rob, and actually, Rob is a very nice person.
He talks to me about music for ages, about his drum kit and how the neighbours keep complaining to his parents about the noise. I tell him that I’ve always wished I was musical but I have absolutely no sense of rhythm. I’m kind of a loser like that, despite my dreams of being that guy with the guitar who impresses all the girls, but I have long since accepted that I will settle to be a humble music-recommender instead. Jen still keeps all of the silly mix tape CDs I made for her in primary school in her room, and it gives me an inexplicable sense of worthiness whenever I spot them.
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Never once during my conversation with Rob do I tell him about the Lurch thing, though it crosses my mind several times. What seemed so funny once in the confines of my little group seems kind of obviously mean now, but I suppose I never took the time to think about it before.
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Katie is nice too, the girl with a stammer who snorts when she laughs, which is often once she joins in our conversation, because she seems to think my stories are very funny, as does Rob, and I have to tell them not to laugh so hard because it only encourages me to put myself in more situations that might be entertaining to retell later on. They think that's funny too, but actually, I am being serious.
Still, I know they’ll love that one about the time I was using the desert as a toilet and a military helicopter flew overhead, convincing me that my great aunt’s busybody neighbour had called the FBI to report me for public urination, so I make sure to tell it in the most energetic way I can. It’s easier and way more fun to reveal embarrassing things about myself when I’m drinking, and by the time I have finished telling it, I toss my empty bottle to my feet where four others already lie. I hadn’t even realised I had drunk that much, but who cares when I feel this good.
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“Jesus, you’re so funny,” Katie says once her giggles have subsided, “I can’t believe we all thought you were an arsehole.”
“You thought that?”
“Not really,” Rob assures me, “We just thought you were… like, a bit…”
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“...of an arsehole,” I finish, and he’s clearly being polite so he denies it, but he shouldn’t bother, really, because I already know how I am. I'm aware of the things I’ve said and done to other kids for the sake of relieving my crushing, constant boredom, never really thinking about the consequences beyond ‘it will be funny’. Maybe I should say I’m sorry. 
“Nah you’re right, I’m kind of a horrible bastard,” and I laugh at myself, which gives them permission to do so too, albeit awkwardly.
“You’re not, you’re not,” Rob assures me, “You definitely weren’t the worst of the guys in our year…”
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I want to ask him who is the worst, purely for the satisfaction of hearing him say that it’s Fitzy, or Murphy or Breener or any of those other awful, rugby wanks, but I don’t because someone coming through the grass has derailed my train of thought. 
“What’s she doing here?” 
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I have interrupted Rob and now he’s blinking in surprise as he turns to where Leah, fucking Leah, is approaching us. 
“Uh, she comes to talk to Evan sometimes,” he explains, “just for like, a few minutes usually and then she heads off. Do you know her?”
“Yeah.”
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I watch with a clenched jaw as she and Evan disappear into the darkness for a few minutes, and pop open a brand new beer bottle as Rob and Katie chat as I sit between them having lost all of my sense of fun in an instant. I’m also drunk, if not very much getting there judging by the slightly blurry flames that dance exotically in front of my eyes. I have a dim thought that it’s probably a good idea to stop drinking if I plan on seeing Jen later. I doubt Michelle’s parents will be too pleased if I show up steaming drunk at their door…
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“Oh my God, Jude, I didn’t expect to see you here!” Leah is back and standing right over me. I don’t even bother to look up at her face, and instead just stare at her ratty Vans that I’m almost certain are the same pair she wore when we used to hang out two years ago, and they were ratty back then.
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“Yep,” I say. She sits down so closely to me in the sand that I can smell her distinct, Leah smell. She doesn’t smell bad, just like an unpleasant sensory memory. 
“How are you?”
I clear my throat, “Are you buying drugs from teenagers now? Is that what it’s come to?”
“Oh, I thought you already knew how Evan and I knew each other.”
“No.”
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“Well, mister policeman, it’s just weed,” she pulls the baggie I saw earlier out of her jacket pocket, “We can even smoke some together now if you like.”
“Weed makes me sick.”
“I remember that! Ha!” She offers it to Rob and Katie who both decline and exchange alarmed looks over our heads.
“Are you going to sit here all night?” I ask her, and even to my own ears it’s unbelievable how rude I am to her, but I don’t care, she deserves it, and it’s not like she even seems to register my tone anyway, she’s always been completely oblivious to what people think about her. She’s that person who hangs around at the party for way too long and keeps bringing up conversations that everyone stopped talking about ages ago. 
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“Jude and I go way back,” Leah explains to Katie beside her, “I met him when he was, what,” a nudge to my arm, “thirteen?”
“Twelve.”
“We used to be friends, back when he was fun.”
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I scowl and she drapes herself over my shoulder with an effortless laugh as though she somehow believes this is our usual banter, “I’m joking, he’s still so fun! And cute!” She tries to grab my face and I shake her off insistently so she settles for fisting a hand in the front of my sweatshirt to hold me hostage instead, “Isn’t he, though?” she presses poor, sheepish Katie who explodes in a ferocious blush. “Would you say he’s the cutest boy at school?”
“I- I don’t know,” Katie stutters. 
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“Well guess what! I got to be the lucky girl who took his virginity!”
I rip her off me but she comes back at me with more grabbing hands and tickling fingers, “Ooh! It’s true, isn’t it? Isn’t it Judie? Oh, isn’t it?”
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I wrench her off me with finality and clamber to my feet, my heart beating, my stomach queasy, “Leave me alone, okay?” I bend down to swipe my beer bottle out of the hollow I made for it in the sand and even then she tries to touch my hair. It infuriates me. “I’m serious! Piss off!” I spit.
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“Oh God, mister grumpy!” She says as I stagger around the bonfire to get away from her and everything that she represents. I’m definitely drunk now, it's in my sluggish movements, the way my eyes drift unfocussed from person to person, but being drunk is preferable to remembering Leah as vividly as I would if I were perfectly sober. Right now, it is just snippets of an evening three years ago that play through my mind. The week I turned fourteen, and the hard, frozen November ground by a swing set. The things I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to do but thought knew I should by then, and Leah, and the heat of her skin, the smell of her sweat, the hyper fixation I had on that piece of bark mulch I felt tangled in her hair which somehow became the strongest memory of all, something that I still associate with her when I feel the sharp dig of something in my palm.
When I don't see her I don't think of these things, so I circle the bonfire until she is invisible, obscured by the roaring flames and swallowed by the darkness.
Beginning // Prev // Next
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Text
Following Orders
(Soap x domme civvy F!Reader)
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When the conversation between you and your best friend, Johnny, takes a turn into heated territory, he can't hide his physical reaction. You decide to help him out and offer a little relief, as long as he follows orders.
Minors DNI. 18+ only.
Word count: 3.4k
Content warnings: JOI, friends to lovers, dry humping, discussions of sex, protected PiV
Or read on Ao3
"Don't even think about it," you said, slashing at the air with your chopsticks. 
With your back against your couch, seated on the floor, you were closer to the array of food spread across the coffee table of your apartment. But your position came at a cost.
Johnny huffed a laugh at your empty threat. Since he was on the couch behind you, he easily reached over your shoulder, snatching a piece of food from your takeout container.
"Asshole," you muttered.
"Admit it, hen. You love me."
You narrowed your eyes and pointed your chopsticks at him.
"Pushing your luck, buddy."
He chuckled and swapped his takeout container for a different one. After shoving a bite of food into his mouth that was too big, he spoke around it.
“Speaking of which, when are you finally gonna bring ‘round that boyfriend of yours? Need to give him a talk, you know. Man to man.”
You rolled your eyes. “I told you, Johnny. There is no boyfriend. And even if there was one, I’m not introducing him just so you can scare him off.”
Johnny spread his hands. “I wouldn’t scare him off!”
You shot him a fond look of annoyance.
“That’s what you did with the last one.”
He lifted one shoulder in a half shrug.
“It’s not my fault the little shite pissed his pants over a friendly discussion involving C4.”
You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing because you knew that would only egg him on even more. The corner of Johnny’s mouth quirked up because he saw right through you anyway.
“I could set you up,” he offered.
“Not in a million years.”
Johnny raised an eyebrow in amusement.
“Chicken.”
You stuck your tongue out at him.
“Sticks and stones, Johnny.”
He snorted and offered his takeout toward you, giving it a shake.
“Trade.”
You swapped containers. When you started digging into it, you sighed.
“I think I’m just too damn difficult to please.”
“Obviously,” Johnny replied dryly. “I figured that out a long time ago.”
You grabbed a pillow and chucked it at his head. He laughed and caught it smoothly without spilling his food. Then he set it on the couch beside him.
“Easy with the friendly fire. No need to get violent.”
“Says Mr. Sexy Soldier who has no problem taking someone home. You get along with everyone.”
“Come on now, that’s not true,” Johnny protested, his tone turning serious. “I’ve had my moments. What’s the hang up, anyway? Are these guys you’re dating not…reciprocatin’?”
You chewed the inside of your cheek, deliberating on just how much to divulge. While you and Johnny weren’t shy about conversations regarding sex, you didn’t want him to tease you about your most intimate desires either.
“No, it’s just…” You trailed off and dropped your gaze. “I have certain preferences. They don’t always align with what most guys consider to be standard sex.”
There was a pause. Johnny nodded.
Then…
“You’re into feet, aren’t you?”
You lobbed another pillow at him.
“No! God, you’re such a fucking child.”
He batted it aside, laughing.
“You were bein’ vague! What was I supposed to think?”
“Not that!”
Johnny raised his eyebrows and rolled his wrist in a go on gesture.
“Details, bonnie. I need details.”
“No, you really don’t.”
“When did you get to be so god awful bashful?”
You made a noise of distress, wishing you hadn’t brought up this topic of conversation. Using your elbow on the couch cushion, you leveraged yourself up and moved to the armchair - as far away from Johnny as you could get. You pulled your feet up to your chest and poked at your food.
“It’s just - I like to be in charge, okay?"
A beat of silence settled over the room. Johnny tilted his head as he considered this piece of information.
“That tracks,” he said at last. “You’ve always been mean to me. That’s how I knew you liked me.”
“I have not,” you countered, indignant.
He held up his forefinger and thumb with a squint to indicate a little bit.
“It isn’t about being mean,” I insisted. “I’m not interested in being submissive, that’s all. It makes me feel…”
You trailed off, suddenly realizing just how much you’d said. Johnny didn’t appear to be judging you though. And he wasn’t cracking any jokes at your expense either. In fact, he was suspiciously quiet and attentive.
“Makes you feel…what?” he prompted.
You sighed. “Powerless. But when I have a man handcuffed to the bed, hanging on every word out of my mouth, it’s…it’s intoxicating. It’s the greatest feeling in the world. I love watching how eager he is, quick to follow orders, hungry to obey. I love seeing how hard and desperate he gets, especially when he can’t do a damn thing about it until I decide to have mercy on him and give him the release he craves. That’s what I’m looking for. But the guys I’ve dated…they’re not into it at all.”
When you finished, Johnny had this glazed expression in his eyes. He cleared his throat, blinking a few times. Then he tugged the pillow beside him over his lap.
“That’s–uh–that’s good. Sounds like you know what you want, hen.”
His voice seemed…off. Too rough and scratchy.
“Did I say something wrong?” you asked.
Johnny shook his head vigorously. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing.
“Nope. Not at all.”
As a brief silence settled over the room, Johnny shifted on the couch. You could have sworn the muscles in his biceps flexed a little more than necessary, straining at his T-shirt sleeve when he pressed his elbow into the pillow on his lap.
That’s when it clicked in your brain. And a giddy little thrill zipped up your spine.
“Johnny.”
He raised his eyebrows, overly focused at prodding into his takeout container, even though he hadn’t eaten a bite in several seconds.
“Yeah?”
“What’s with the pillow?” you asked.
He glanced up. “What about it?”
“Why is it on your lap?”
He shrugged. “No–no reason. It’s just…there.”
Oh, you were like a missile locked onto your target now.
“Did I…fluster you?” you asked, lowering your voice.
Johnny growled. “Damn it, woman. Can’t you see when a man is fighting for his life out here?”
You laughed and eagerly pushed your food aside, fixing all your attention on him.
“I can’t believe this. Did you really just pop a boner because of what I was talking about?”
He tipped his head back with a groan.
“Fine! Fine, god, yes. Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now? You devilish little minx. Fuckin’ hell.”
You were smiling so big that your cheeks hurt. You adjusted in your seat until you were kneeling on your chair, elbows propped on the armrest, studying the delicious strain in Johnny’s posture as he grappled for control.
“Johnny MacTavish,” you said. “I had no idea you would be into that.”
“Yeah, well…I guess I am. It’s hot, okay?”
You smirked.
“Stop smiling,” he said with a strangled laugh.
You snickered and pushed out of your seat, taking a position on the opposite end of the couch from Johnny.
“So, you like to be bossed around, huh?”
“Jesus,” he muttered, pressing himself deeper into the couch. 
When he pushed his knees wider, the pillow bucked upward. You tried–and failed miserably–to not think about the thrust of his hips. Why did that make the back of your neck prickle and your stomach get all tangled up in knots?
You bit your lower lip, debating whether you should continue or pull back. Even though you and Johnny were never shy about your conversations, this was clearly flirting with a sexual line that could muddy the waters between you.
Johnny’s gaze flicked to you, uncertain.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.
You shrugged. “Like what?”
“Like I’m fresh meat and you’re a hungry wolf.”
You grinned. “Do you want me to change the subject?”
Johnny hedged. That was all the answer you needed. 
“I could help with your…little problem,” you added.
He blew out a shaky breath and turned his head away, his voice pitched so low that you almost missed it.
“You know damn well it’s not little, hen.”
Bracing an arm across the back of the couch, you leaned closer. Then you reached out and pinched a corner of the pillow between two fingers with a playful tug.
“Let me see,” you said softly.
Johnny clutched the pillow with a white-knuckled grip.
“No way.”
“Pretty please?” you teased.
Johnny didn’t budge, didn’t breathe a word. For once, he was uncharacteristically silent. You sidled closer and brushed a butterfly kiss to his cheek.
Slowly, Johnny turned to look at you. As soon as you met his gaze, your breath hitched in your chest. His ice-blue eyes were nearly completely black with arousal. In the back of your mind, you thought, we can’t do this. What if it ruins our friendship?
Then Johnny moved his hand away from the pillow without breaking eye contact.
You pulled it aside.
For a split second, you held Johnny’s gaze. Then you glanced down at his lap.
His jeans were stretched tight, the prominent ridge of his bulge showing just how much your words had affected him. Propping your elbow on the back of the couch, you rested your hand on your fist.
“Is this…too weird?”
Johnny adjusted in his seat, tugging at the front of his jeans.
“To be honest, bonnie, I don’t really give a shit right now. Do you…do you want to stop?”
You shook your head. A small smile flickered at the corner of his mouth.
“Good.”
A shiver of anticipation rose in your chest and you traced a fingertip down Johnny’s bicep.
“Unzip for me.”
Holding your gaze, Johnny’s shoulders and forearms flexed as he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his fly. The tip of his cock was barely visible, protruding from the waistband of his jeans. But when he started to pull it out, you clucked your tongue.
“Hold up. Did I tell you to touch yourself?”
Johnny bit back a groan. A muscle twitched in his jaw and he splayed his palms across his thighs. The tendons in his neck strained from fighting to sit still. Judging by the throb between your thighs and the jittery feeling in your stomach, you were just as eager as Johnny to plow ahead and get things moving. But you liked making him work for it, too.
“I should have known,” you said. “That you’d be so good at following orders, soldier boy.”
Johnny let out a breathless laugh.
“See? Like I said. You’re mean to me.”
“Oh, I haven’t even started yet.” You tilted your chin in the direction of his lap. “Push your pants down a little more. Show off the goods.”
Johnny arched his hips up, shoving his pants and boxers down to mid-thigh. His cock curved up toward his stomach, thick, straining, and beautiful. The blunt head glistened with pre-cum. All you wanted to do was reach out and claim it for yourself. He clutched the couch cushions on either side of him, fists tight, biceps straining.
You couldn’t help yourself and hovered your hand over his lap, your fingers so close to touching his cock that you could feel the heat radiating off him. Then you brought your mouth to his ear.
“Let’s see how strong your stroke game is, yeah?”
Johnny’s breath shuddered and you didn’t miss the way his abs flexed beneath his shirt. When he thrust up toward your hand, you pulled away at the last second. He sagged against the mattress with a noise of frustration that broke off into a laugh.
“Oh, you little shite,” he said.
“Come on. Try again. I know for a fact you’re too stubborn to give up that easily, Johnny. Keep going.”
His palm strayed over your thigh as he thrust up again, straining for that painfully slight friction your fingers would offer. You didn’t reprimand him for the touch to your leg. The way his palm settled there seemed like a comforting gesture, for both of you, so you let him get away with it just this once.
You watched Johnny struggle, falling short of coming in contact with your fingers every time no matter how much he arched upward. Head tilted back, lower lip clamped between his teeth. The way he pushed his hips back into the couch then up toward your hand was mesmerizing to witness, putting every gorgeous muscle in his body on powerful display.
“Fuck, bonnie, you’re killing me,” he said through his teeth.
You gave a pleased hum.
“You’re doing very well.”
He blew out a breath of frustration. A thin sheen of sweat was already beginning to form on his collarbones, pooling in the hollow of his throat. Your mouth watered at the thought of dragging your tongue over it, tasting the saltiness of him.
“Go on then,” you said. “Since you were so good for me, you can touch yourself.”
You sat back as Johnny frantically wrapped a hand around his cock with a breathless oh thank god.
You granted him two long, desperate strokes before you swatted his wrist. His skin was scorching beneath your touch.
“I didn’t say you could finish yourself off, big boy.”
“Fuck,” Johnny rasped, stilling his motion.
“That’s better. Bring your hand up over the head of your crown. You’re sensitive there, aren’t you?”
Johnny practically whimpered, his lips pressed into a thin, tight line as he obeyed. 
“Keep circling with your thumb for a bit,” you said. “And do it slowly. I want to watch.”
He passed the pad of his thumb over the head of his cock in steady circles. You loved the way his cock jumped in his hand. When you lifted your gaze, you found Johnny looking at you with hooded eyes, his lips slightly parted. With his head tipped back against the couch, it fully exposed his neck, and it struck you how open and loose and vulnerable his position was.
He was putty in your hands even though the only touch you’d initiated was the slightest brush of your fingertip against his bicep a few minutes ago. You smiled sweetly and swept your knuckles along his cheek.
“If I had known you were so willing to please me,” you said. “We could have done this sooner.”
Johnny huffed. “You were too distracted with those damn sods who were no good for you.”
“Are you saying you like it when I’m mean to you?”
“I’ve got my fucking cock in my hand, hard as a rock. Do you really need me to spell it out for you more than that, love?”
You laughed softly with a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“Fuck your fist for me, Johnny,” you whispered against his skin. “But don’t come. I want to see how long you can hold out.”
He gave a deep groan. The slick sound of his fist around his cock echoed in the room, sloppy and hurried. His palm left your leg for a moment, and before you could register the loss, he cupped his hand beneath your chin, pulling you in for a proper kiss.
You gasped at the electric shock of his mouth against yours, the wet heat of his tongue sliding past your lips. It was hard to breathe, hard to think, when your senses were full of Johnny.
For a brief moment, you pulled back just long enough to watch him pumping along his length. His arm flexed with the movement, but his hand was still beneath your chin. After a second or two, Johnny slid his hand into your hair, cradling the back of your neck. 
You needed him, ached for him, and you had no idea how that happened. When had you changed from thinking of him as a friend to…this?
Before you realized what you were doing, you pushed Johnny’s fist away from his cock. Then you hitched your leg over his lap, your hands braced on the couch behind his head. Johnny’s palms came to rest on your hips, partly to guide you, but mostly to anchor himself. The weight of his cock bumped against your clothed pussy as you started grinding down on him.
“Fuck, you’re desperate, aren’t you, love?” he murmured. “You just needed a free cock to use and no one would give you what you needed.”
“But you’ll do that for me, won’t you, Johnny?” you said between one kiss and the next, breathing hard. “You’ll let me use your cock any time I want to, right?”
He nodded as he cupped his hands on either side of your face, pressing your mouth open for another soul-scorching kiss. Even through your clothes, you felt his cock throb and pulse, pressed up against your core.
You were both lost to the heat of the moment now, moving together, grasping, kissing, grinding. With his hands full of your ass, he rocked you back and forth on the ridge of his cock. When he mouthed at your clothed breasts, you yanked your shirt off with impatience, tossing it aside. A moment later, your bra followed.
You were surprised at how good and natural it felt. This was your best friend in the entire world and it could have been awkward but it wasn’t. As Johnny dragged the flat of his tongue over your nipple, pinching it between his teeth with a slight jolt of sweet pain, you closed your eyes and let your head fall back.
As you tugged at his hair, you realized just how wet and sticky your pants were getting. Gripping a fistful of fabric, you pulled his T-shirt over his head.
“Inside me,” you said, practically a croak because your voice was so raw with need. “Johnny, now.”
Johnny spread you out on the couch, cradling the back of your head in his hand to protect you in case you came in contact with the armrest. As he pulled away, he trailed his hands down your body, mapping every curve and swell as he went. When he reached your jeans, he flicked his gaze to yours in a silent request for permission.
Your lips quirked up. “Use your words, sweetie.”
He breathed a faint laugh and his cock twitched, thick and heavy between his legs.
“May I take your pants off, hen?”
You’d barely nodded when Johnny gave a playful growl and sucked a bruising kiss into your hip. He unbuttoned your jeans and stripped them off eagerly, leaving you in just your panties. He paused as he took in the sight of you there, waiting for him. He trailed his hands up your calves and thighs, teasing his thumbs at the edge of your panties.
“May I?” he asked again, his voice significantly gruffer this time.
Again, you nodded. Slowly, he hooked his thumbs into your panties and dragged them down, fully exposing you. Never in a million years would you have thought that inviting Johnny MacTavish over for your usual takeout to chat and catch up would lead to this - fucking on the couch.
“Condom,” you said even though it felt like your voice was going to give out at any moment.
Johnny blinked, shaking himself out of his reverie. Stripping his pants off the rest of the way, he fished a condom from his pocket and tore it open. When he rolled it on, you didn’t waste a second and locked your fingers into his hair with an insistent tug. You pulled him up until his body was flush against yours.
“Show me,” you said. “Show me how those damn sods were no good for me. Show me that you can do better.”
A hungry gleam came into Johnny’s arms as he braced his elbows on the couch, hemming you in. You cupped his face as he slotted his cock inside you and slowly, perfectly sank all the way in. Your mouth fell open at the first inch. You were moaning by the time his balls were pressed against your ass, filling you until you felt all of him, thick and throbbing and completely buried inside you.
“Oh, fuck, Johnny,” you said, your voice shaking with sensation. “All for me?”
“All for you, love,” he confirmed. 
As he enveloped your body beneath him, your eyes rolled back in your head and you sank your teeth into his shoulder. The salty taste of his skin was even better than you imagined.
Masterlist
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allelitewrestlings · 1 year
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m-ayo-o · 4 months
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18+ / 21+ bf megumi -masturbation, oral mention
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After years of Megumi being horny, pent up and masturbating in his room, he is so glad to have you.
All those years, all that fist fucking, jerking himself multiple times a day (once to get rid of his morning wood, again in the shower, and a couple more at night for good measure) has given him certain... stamina.
He can control exactly when he wants to cum.
And now, he can do the same to you.
He has become a master of your body, a gatekeeper of pleasure. And you have grown so helplessly attached to him, you can barely take care of your own horny needs yourself.
But that's how he likes it, and that's how it shall stay.
He enjoys it when you flirt with him and touch him, working your magic to get what you need.
But he adores when you just... ask.
He can tell when you're in the mood, anyway. It's most days, after all.
But when you're so polite and cute about it... he can't lie that it gets him hard instantly.
"Megumi, will you finger me please?"
"Can we make out, Megumi?"
"Do you want me to suck you off?"
And his personal favourite... because you look particularly shy about it.
"Can I...sit on your face tonight, if you don't mind..?"
Shit.
All he can do is smile like a fucking idiot and grab you, indulging your every request till you're fulfilled or filled and happy and giddy off his love.
He's never felt more full of himself than now, with you in his arms, knowing he can satisfy his girlfriend's endless needs.
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megumi
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