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#tw mom mention
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i will never forget about the time i went to the mall with two of my friends and during lunch one of them came out to my mom as nonbinary. so when we stood up to leave after we finished eating my mom said "alright, let's get our shop on, they/thems!"
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coppertophomegurl · 1 year
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Having a lot of thoughts this m*thers day.
I HATE the way the mormon church automatically assigns m*therhood to all girls/women/afabs.
M*ther's Day at church always looked like making ALL the girls and women 12 and older (literal children) stand up while a member of the bishopric/branch presidency placated them with meaningless missives of gratitude and about how being a m*m is the most divine role a woman can hold (🤮🤢) while the young men passed out a cheap little gift to every single women standing.
I thought this tradition wouldn't exist in the singles ward. I was wrong. Same shit again. It was around then (18/19) I realized how gross this felt to me.
I don't want to be a m*ther. EVER. But I didn't even realize I had the choice to opt out of parenthood until I was a full blown adult (fortunately before I had any children) I was literally groomed for m*therhood by the church.
Young women's lessons and activities spent planning out children's names, making baby quilts for our future children (ma'am I am 12 years old. I AM children.) And learning parenting tips and how to be a good stay at home wife/m*ther.
I have such a difficult relationship with m*therhood and the mormon church is the cause for a LOT of it. I've been out of the church for many years now and I am still unpacking and unlearning.
But, damn this time of the year is hard for me.
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waitingforthesunrise · 4 months
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girl tried to write a three paragraph discussion on food. accidentally writes seven page essay on her mother. 17 dead 2938488484 injured
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nanixo · 11 months
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she’s a nice person if you’re not her child….
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nsk96 · 2 months
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Short rant:
I fucking hate living in this house. Every fucking weekend my dad gotta make some kind of fight about something. He sabotaged the freezer a couple weeks ago and now we gotta toss a whole bunch of shit out and my mom can stop ranting at me.
Mom, get a fucking therapist or a journal please, I’m trying to study.
I have an exam on Monday which I’m sure I’m gonna fail now because it’s already 6:40pm and I only covered 10 practice questions.
My door is closed and locked and I can hear their whole fucking argument and him slamming doors. I’m tired of this shit.
I don’t even have privacy in the bathroom. I went to use the main bathroom and then my dad went to use my mom’s bathroom. My mom barged in on me and said “I told you to use mine when he’s home, I don’t want him to use it.”
Well I don’t fucking care anymore, Mom. This is how we live, we all gotta make sacrifices and live with the paranoia of living with this narc man because you decided to stay with him and you made me stay as well.
I may not even survive to see graduation because he has his plans whatever they are and he found his hand gun that we had hidden. You think I care about him using your bathroom? Fuck off
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your f/o would fight any family member, or anyone for that matter, who ever thought about hurting you
if you have a crappy dad? Your f/o would tell him to fuck off or punch him
if you have a crappy mom? Your f/o would put her in her place
your sibling(s)/someone saying something that hits a little too close to home? Your f/o would handle the situation
Your f/o(s) love you, and would do anything for you- even though you can most definitely defend yourself, your f/o would definitely stand up for you no matter what, because they care about you so much. Because your f/os love you, and want to defend you because it hurts them to see you getting treated like that
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summerdreamof2009 · 3 months
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TRIGGER WARNING: CSA, CHILD ABUSE, RAMCOA??
So my mother used to have me act like a dog for periods of time. Putting me on a leash, giving me a shock collar of some kind and punishing me with it if i refused sexual advances from her, making me eat and sit on the floor like a dog, she would do this for a few months then randomly stop. She usually did this over summer break or over winter break. This all happened when I was in pre-school and elementary school. I am struggling to believe in these memories as I am slowly slipping into denial I just can’t believe my mother could be so evil. My mother has ASPD/NPD/Schizophrenia diagnosed I can’t imagine that most of what she did was when she was psychotic like my therapists have suggested in the past, it’s just too organized and calculated to be from someone in full blown psychosis. How can someone be so evil to there own child that they had from an affair is that why she did this to me?? I can’t believe she hated me so much she’d rather abuse me than just abort me
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eveningdawn222 · 1 year
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idk why no one talks about it but there is something so psychologically damaging about having teachers for parents. esp in the us where teachers r expected to be answering emails until 10 at night, where there's no real work-life balence because at some point. at some point you realize you're not really their kid. you're just student who lives in their house. and it's not their fault! you get it, when they can't treat you differently at school, because that would be unfair to the other kids, but at what point do those kids know your parents better than you do? at what point do you look at your mom across the gym during assembly and realize that your mom know her students better than she does you?
and it's always "oh that's so-and-so's kid, i took a pd course with them." and your teachers all know your name before they even call attendance. and your mom says on the car home "your teacher was talking to me about how you've fallen to a b in english." when the other kids barely scraping c's don't even get an email home all year. its learning cursive on the floor of your mother's classroom while she grades until it's dark outside. it's the empty halls of your elementary school being so familiar you can almost feel the carpet beneath your feet but you can't quite remember the color of your childhood home's front door. did we have a fence out front? i can't remember but the layout of my 4th grade classroom is seared into my brain.
and you're only ever around adults because your peers all seem a little too young a little too immature because you're only ever around adults because your peers all seem too young -
but it's always the mantra of "you can't talk about this with your friends" at the dinner table and the disillusionment that comes with realizing you have to keep secrets from your friends because otherwise your mom could lose her job. it's half the school knowing stories about yourself that you don't remember. it's learning algebra before you learn to ride a bike because theres not time for that between early mornings and late nights.
its your dad missing your little sisters birthday three years in a row for a conference on the opposite coast. it's your mom sobbing at the dining room table because the kids are so stressful this year, so you don't ask for help because she's the one who needs it. it's your dad going straight to problem solving when you break down in tears and you can't even be mad because he's the one with the psych degree. obviously he's the one who knows the best about this.
it's "they're trying their best" and "it's the administrations fault" and "the real problem is the system" because you need a parent but you get a teacher. and it's almost enough. she comes to your little league games but when you look up from the field she's turned away, talking to a woman with bleach blonde hair who mispronounces your sisters name.
they sit in the front row for every graduation but yours.
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writersmorgue · 1 year
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me to my dad: tomorrow is Mother's Day?
my dad: yeah
me: oh
my dad: gonna send your mom flowers or something?
me: lol no. Are you gonna send your mom flowers?
my dad: she's got plastic ones
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clowningclownn · 9 months
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one thing my mother constantly forgets is how fucking angry I am bc I'm always acting neutral to keep her emotions at bay. I'm seething and she thinks I don't care.
which makes it worse because she's always preaching she knows me best. she doesn't know the first thing about me. she doesn't know because she's too busy thinking about herself to even consider anyone else's pain.
and then she argues with me, telling me I misinterpreted her when I was younger. that the way she treated me wasn't what she meant. why does it matter when I still want to die
I'm so tired of her high and mighty act. I'm so tired of her acting like she knows me. of her acting like she's better than me.
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coppertophomegurl · 1 year
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Posts saying things like "Happy M*ther's Day to those who have chosen not to be m*thers." Are missing the ENTIRE point.
Do not wish me a happy m*ther's day AT ALL.
I am not a m*ther. I NEVER want to be one.
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nanixo · 7 months
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Me when my mom makes me insecure for the nth time today
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onlytiktoks · 1 month
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nsk96 · 5 months
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Personal reflection…sort of. Not really a rant this time but I just needed to get this out of my system. Y’all skip this one. It’s just sad long and boring but nothing concerning thankfully, just something to show to my future therapist when I get the chance to finally make that appointment. Been having some thoughts I need to jot down
My left ear is hurting a lot as a wear this beanie over my ears. The cartilage part is what hurts. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since we have a lot of nerve endings in our ears or something right? My left ear always hurts whenever I wear something over it like headphones or those earrings that wrap around the back of the ear. And even my mask. To be fair, the mask hurts both my ears, but the left always hurts the most.
I have a scar on my left ear. More accurately inside the cartilage. I can feel it with my fingers, this jagged little chunk that still hurts a little or feels super sensitive when I rub it. I��ve had it as far back as middle school. I don’t remember exactly when but I know I was somewhere between 11 and 13. The first time I spoke to my mom about it a few years ago, I mentioned it casually, and she denied ever yanking it that hard.
The night it happened, it was a cleaning day, so that means the windows were open the whole day to air out the house and the fumes from the cleaning products. I came out the shower and went to my room to get dressed. I’m not dumb so obviously I wasn’t going to get dressed in front of an open bedroom window where the dude in the car outside could see me. I had a bunk bed where I had a whole lot of clothes hanging from the side, and changed behind there ensuring full coverage. Not to mention the bed was off to the side away from the window, so I would have been out of sight anyway by angle alone.
I finished and went out to the living room. Immediately my mom asked if my bedroom window was still open, and answering honestly, I said yes. Now at this point I was starting to freak out a little inside especially seeing her face change. To this day, my mom always had this way of asking questions that made you feel like you were being interrogated, and that mixed with the fact that she utilized corporal punishment during my growing up and her inability to regulate her emotions, I was shitting bricks and froze. She asked if I changed with the window open. (Mothers…always asking the questions they know the answers to. I can only laugh at that part now because I cried enough about it).
All I could answer was “yes.” I couldn’t get the full explanation out of me. How do I explain my strategy to her? Would she even believe me? I wasn’t sure she’d believe me.
She abruptly got up and grabbed me by the ear, and dragged me outside by the ear as I tried to keep up, nearly tripping over the stepping stones and pebbles that lined our front yard’s walkway. It’s at this point I don’t even remember exactly what she said. All I know is that she pointed to the open window to “show me” how much we can see outside and then to the car across the street that was blasting music and she said something about him “enjoying the strip show”. I mostly remember cupping my ear because of the pain. My ear hurt for about a week afterwards.
Over a decade later, it hurts when agitated and I’m reminded of that night. I’m also reminded of how my mom denied it when I brought it up. Nowadays, I have difficulty lying, but I also have difficulty speaking up for myself like that night and I keep wondering why.
Growing up, when I did things that got me in trouble with my parents, it was sometimes easier to lie than to explain my thought process because my mom would say that my explanation was a lousy excuse or just not believe me at all. My older brother being the compulsive liar that he was, didn’t help my case either. I’ve told the truth more than I lied. I was more of the “hide things from my parents” kind of kid instead of the lying one but you learn what you can to survive parents who don’t have time to learn who you are or figure out how to parent you besides the methods they learned from their parents. For example, that time I hated the flavor of my Flintstones multivitamins so I hid each dose under the dresser every morning. Tasted too much of iron for me to handle at the time. I didn’t pretend to be a vampire until 9.
I guess I can’t complain. My mom grew up with a mother who broke her nose and chased down my aunt with a cutlass. I think I feel as hurt as I do partially because I feel like I was punished for things that were out of my control such as the memory issues I still deal with today. It’s just baffling to me that she went through it herself, but can’t understand why it was so hard for me to trust her as a teen and adult, or why it took me 22 years to open up to her about the CSA I experienced at age 5, the nightmares (nightmare of the corporal punishment of which I’d wake up crying), my interests, who I am as a person. Even now, she thinks she has me figured out and it’s bugs the hell out of me because I feel like I can’t truly be myself around anyone, not even her without her thinking I’m weird or have some reaction like “O-kAyy”. I’ll give her credit where it’s due though. She’s been supportive of my cosplay hobby but I get the feeling that she wants me to quit. Just a hunch.
My love for anime is always like “oh you’re still watching cartoons.” She tries to make it sound like she's joking but how many times are you going to make the same joke. And so many times I repeatedly had to argue with her about me wanting to put up my anime and gaming posters on my current bedroom walls. There was one time when she even tried to say I’m too old for that. As a kid, I scavenged whatever I could get to hang up on my bedroom wall, a shared bedroom with my brother, who was allowed to hang up all the posters he wanted, including a two of motorbike bikini ladies. All I had was a dragon poster from a book and a horse poster. I couldn’t put too many up because she said they’ll collect dust.
Now I have my own bedroom and some of my own money to buy quality posters of things I’m interested in and love, and I can’t hang them up? When I was organizing my collectibles around my tv stand to decorate, she came in and said, “it doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s not like anyone will see it anyway.” Didn’t she just say months earlier about having my friends over?…my gaming buddies btw…and my gaming console is in my room…and their rooms are literally set up like this as well. That aside though, I didn’t care about that, I was doing this for me. Bring color and life into this room besides the empty walls that are still mostly empty. She's only quiet about the posters now because I told her about the posters some of my classmates have that I saw during zoom meetings.
Anyways, I got so far from the point. I think the reason I freeze now whenever someone blows up at me or puts me on the spot or like an interrogation, is because there’s never a right answer. I was taught not to lie, and I can’t lie because I get this weird visceral feeling like my guts are crying when I try to lie, so as a result I’m like a compulsive truth teller almost. But I was also taught my explanations are not good enough, so I guess that could be why I just can’t get myself to say anything and I go blank or just reply with the obvious (Like that time when the pharmacist asked “who even are you” which was a rhetorical question she was asking to be dramatic and rude, and all I could reply with was my name as I blanked out). Fear as well. When someone of authority blows up at me, ngl, it’s like I’m a kid again standing in front of my mom waiting for my sentence.
For years I couldn’t remember much of my childhood at all. I remembered some of the bad. I still hardly remember the good probably because the bad overshadows it still as some of it might be locked away deeper. As I keep looking back and digging, memories are surfacing. Sometimes, other people’s stories or fragments will trigger memories because I went through similar.
Like that time my mom forced me to take a pregnancy test. That memory was locked away until I read a story on Reddit of a girl who’s bf locked her in the bathroom and forced her to take the test. My mom didn’t lock me in, but what choice did I have. I was 11, and she heard rumors of kids at my middle school having sex in the bathrooms. Of course she asked me and I told her the truth which was that I heard the same rumors but never witnessed anything. I hit puberty at 11 and so you know…I was developing. My mom said, “your breasts are getting bigger, are you sexually active?” I said no (I was a virgin). She didn’t believe me and that’s when she forced me to take the pregnancy test. My stupid ass was freaking out the whole time because I thought a false positive was possible and all I could think of was what she’d do to me if I got one. Thank heavens if was false. But I’m starting to think it was at this point I started really hiding things from her. The only time I’d come to her is when I thought I might end up in serious trouble (rare). I hid so much from her and continue to do so today.
Last week, I had to go to a health fair about 1 hour from home, to vaccinate people. My mom came along. Conversation came up about bringing my dad along and my mom said, “bring him along and do what? I can’t sit next to him without wanting to reach over and strangle him for what he did.” She also said something about not being able to handle knowing what she knows now, referring to what I opened up to her about back in May. She said it’s all just too much. I don’t know if she realized what she said but now after hearing it, I just feel like I never should have told her. Maybe it’s a secret I should have had to carry to the grave…well to the fire.
I once told my mom that I don’t remember most of my childhood. She said it was normal because she hardly remembers hers too. But I hear of other people who seem to remember so much and had such colorful happy childhoods, and then there are the friends who had effed up childhoods who can hardly remember theirs as well. I’m starting to see a pattern and I don’t like it.
My relationship with my mom is complex. I know I say quite a bit about her. But I do love her and she's been there for me through everything and did the best she could considering the demon of a husband she has. However, I'm not making excuses for her anymore. Whenever I bring things up, instead of sorry or sympathy, I'm met with denial and downplay. A year ago, an astrologer, who knew nothing of my personal life, equipped with only my birthday and time of birth, told me that I'm prone to abusive relationships and that I should not live with family because family will always be a "source of grief" for me. Both past and present events were proof of the points he said, but it took hearing it from him to make me ask myself "Why?" From now on, I will have to practice not making excuses for people. It's time to start being myself and learning to be comfortable with the weird, and exploring the parts of me I never got to explore.
(That's actually what contributed to my depression episode the past couple of months. Seeing what I wanted to be and being so close to trying it out but unable to go all in due to fear of judgement from my mom and those around me. One of these things is goth fashion. I've always liked it since I was a kid and was always into spooky and creepy things. I recently learned that goth culture is based around goth music and that the goth community takes that very seriously (to the point of gate keeping, like for some people, you can't listen to anything else). I like goth music...but I listen to almost everything and there are genres that I enjoy much more. Some probably do fall into the goth category but not goth enough for some people. I already decided that I will practice not living my life for other people so hope the gatekeepers are ready for the battering ram)
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thehugwizard · 6 months
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Hey, I am a first year at college and I am getting used to not being suffocated by my emotionally abusive mother, but things are stressful and I am going to have to go back home for the upcoming holiday, so I could really use a hug rn
Oh dear, I'm sorry friendo!
*gives you a big soft bear hug*
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asexual-spongebob · 4 months
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I feel like shellington and pearl have mom issues.
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