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#tw mention of mental illness
girlysword · 11 months
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I was expecting George to receive bad medical treatment. However I was also expecting an indictment of that treatment, but that never came? The characters agree the treatment is horrible, but the only one to question its effectiveness is George when he is in a marital bliss high. When Charlotte dismisses the doctor she says his happiness is more important than him being cured. There was a scene where I thought the doctor may have been intentionally triggering George in order to keep his position, but based on later dialogue I don't think that's what happened. I think the doctor character was supposed to genuinely want the best for his patients and genuinely believed the best was torture. In any case I think the only one involved with this production who did mental health research was the actor who played George.
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Hi! I would very much love to hear the entire long rant about Ted and Jamie’s relationship!
I love you for indulging me.
A little disclaimer that I in no way hate Ted. I love him. He has good intentions. He's just a flawed human with a lot of his own baggage that hinders him from actually being able to objectively see Jamie's situation for what it is. And that leads to him offering shit advice. He seriously fucked up when it came to Jamie, (in my opinion), even if his heart was in the right place. So here we go.
TW- mentions of mental health issues, canonical suicide, and abuse and trauma
The way I see it, there are several things happening here. 1) Ted sees Jamie as a surrogate son-figure, because he misses his own son and Jamie is a little bit wayward and lacking his own father-figure, and that activates Ted's savior-complex-I-can-fix-him ways. 2) Ted sees Jamie as a little part of himself- his own inner child. The sixteen year old boy who brutally lost his own dad and never worked through the grief. 3) Jamie sees Ted, at least a bit, as a form of father figure, in the way that he both wants his approval and is innately distrustful of him. (Mind games.)
The problem then lies in the fact that Jamie is not truly either of these things that Ted sees him as, and Ted cannot be a healthy male figure for Jamie because he has too much of his own shit to work through, first. And Jamie also has his own.
I think that, at his core, Jamie wants to be a good person. His time at Richmond has seen him growing into one, and in his head I think he at least partially equates that to Ted's influence. So he wants to stay in Ted's good graces, because like he's said he never got a lot of support from older male figures, and that's clearly something he craves. He wants Ted's approval, but there's also the fact that Ted has left him during confrontations with his dad twice, and in Jamie's eyes, sent him away to Manchester City right after he started trying. Need for approval paired with feeling like he's walking a very fragile line and can't quite trust anything about his relationship with Ted to stay safe.
Ted holds onto a desperate need to fix things. When you see someone hurt themselves, or lose them to mental illness, it's traumatic. It makes you wonder if you could have, should have, done more. Seen it coming. If you could have stopped it. Ted said to Dr. Sharon that “I wasn’t ever gonna let anyone get by me without understanding that they might be hurting inside.” So now he walks through life trying to make sure everybody stays OK, except for himself. And you can't do that. It's not healthy. So when he sees Jamie, this twenty-something-year-old kid with a fucked up relationship with his dad, Ted can't see it clearly. He's so caught up in his own father-related trauma that he projects that onto Jamie. He gives Jamie the advice that he means for himself. Ted needs to forgive his father, so that he can process the grief and the trauma and move forward. Ted needs to give that to himself. But that is incredibly dangerous advice to give someone who's father is clearly shown to be emotionally and physically abusive.
Ted and Jamie both have a lot of father-related trauma. But their situations are not at all applicable to each other, it's just that Ted can't see that because he hasn't worked through any of his own issues. Which leads to complicated relationships and shitty, dangerous advice. There we go.
Woo! That was long.
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bl0w-m3 · 8 months
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TW: DISTURBING
I know this sounds crazy and I do not know what it’s a symptom of. Maybe the ocd.
But I keep getting this reoccurring vision in my head of this distorted face.
This unsettling fucking face in this unsettling fucking voice just going “you’re gonna kill yourself”.
On repeat.
I think I’m finally losing it.
Scroll down for an idea of what I’m fucking seeing
TW: UNSETTLING IMAGES
This is what I’m seeing in my fucking head. Telling me I’m gonna kill myself. I’m not gonna kill myself. I’m not suicidal. It’s just scaring the shit out of me.
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triple-pupil · 1 year
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Do you have any head cannons for any of the casino crew members or just Dice, Devil and Phear?
Little to none, honestly, the ones I may have are fanons I've seen in fanfics and fanart. Idk if the casino crew being desperate people taken in by the Devil when no one else would is also a shared fanon but anyways.
There is one character I thought a little story of, I think, one of my favorites of the group, and that is Hopus Pocus.
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He's actually a nice, if not sometimes a bit hyperactive person, he doesn't tend to scream and laugh like a maniac, but have fun chats while munching on a piece of food, mostly vegetables, or smoking a cig. Max thing he could do is a little prank, being the acomplice of another casino employee.
But there are moments when he just goes crazy and is seen like in the game, going way over the top with his attitude, sometimes putting others in danger without meaning it. The public that sees his performances aren't sure if it's part of the act or if he's actually having a meltdown on-stage, but they all love it. So the bosses insist on making these "episodes" a common thing, no matter what Pocus truly thinks. He actually would like to succeed as a magician without the need to go crazy on-stage but he guesses he can't have everything in life.
I must say that I'm conflicted with what I have in mind with this guy's backstory. I fear I may use stereotypes and give negative messages about people with mental illnesses or people who suffer because of addiction, especially considering the character I'm using in the first place...
So I have two options: Pocus has some mental problem that wasn't so bad or is addicted to some drug or something like that (I lean more to the addiction). He was put in a mental institution and abandoned there by the people he used to have in his life, to top it, I've heard that these places weren't the best for a good amount of decades so instead of helping, it made his problem worse.
He eventually escaped from the facility and, with nowhere else to go, runs straight to the Devil's casino. Why? Because he heard that there go the rejects, the homeless, the damned and the unwanted; they go to the Devil because he's one of the few people who gives them "refuge" (Take all that with a gran of salt, but these are just the rumors people hear).
And basically Hopus Pocus works at the casino because at least there he has a good bed, friends, food, baths and there he can finally try and acomplish his dream of becoming a magician.
He also has unhealthy coping mechanisms.
That's mostly what I have right now.
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tw0nlyfortoday · 6 months
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Having chest pains from anxiety <3if I ever have a heart attack I wouldn’t now it
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Chrono: -is tomorrow Thursday as in it’s not for 24 hours or as in it’s passed midnight but I’m saying tomorrow anyway- saying tomorrow anyway- Kai! You need to get that report done!
Overhaul: I’ll do it in the morning!
Chrono: will you have time in the morning?
Overhaul: yeah, it’ll be ‘right.
Chrono: British slang. That means screw it, there’s no point existing, we might as well just commit Setsuno now.
Setsuno: wh-why are we committing Setsuno again?
Chrono: because no one here has a will to live anymore, Toya.
Setsuno: no I mean why me specifically? It sounds like you’re committing me to a mental hospital…
Overhaul: given we use your name as a stand in for suicide, yeah. We probably should.
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the-jazzy-cool-cat · 1 year
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You know People who say "people who critic JK Rowling need to grow up" dont understand that just because she has a tragic past and has trauma and depresion doesn't mean she has the right to hurt others.
That trans people are a minority, that they get murdered everday, that she is triying to take human beings rights away from them just because she disagrees with them.
They don't understand that she only has empathy for very epecific mental ilneses like depresion and eating disorders while claiming all other mental ilneses make you evil, even tho people who sufer from mental ilneses such as, bipolar disorder, schidsofrenia , pshycosis and many others are sufering every day , getting abused by their own family menbers and the hospitals they pot them in ( depending on the hospital, this only happend's sometimes, there very good hospitals out ther, this is not the norm), getting denied terapy and medication and killing themselfs bicause of it.
Or how she made big people out to be evil or gross and ugly when in the era the book publish fatphobia was already super serius, she probably caused a lot of plush size students tu be heavily bullied in meany schools with her books.
They don't understand that not everyone who critics someone is a " hater" who wants to see her fail, or that hates her for being human and making mistakes.
Whe want her to apologise and become a better person, but every time someone dares to say anything she did wrong, she just makes up excuses.
She just yells, "i don't care!!"
JK Rowling needs to grow the fuck up.
Just because you like Harry Potter doesn't mean you have to pretend the autor can do no wrong and that the books are perfect.
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foureyedentity · 9 months
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“…. Please tell me this is a nightmare.”
“Far from it, actually. I assure you;
I am very real.”
Welcome!
If you’re finding yourself here, you likely have a love for things that go bump in the night.
So do I. :>
This blog is centered around my up and coming passion project, Blood Is Sweeter Than Silence, a mystery romance where a young woman returns to an old life she thought she’d left behind, and rediscovers that the secrets the town held when she’d run from it had not been as much of her imagination as she’d been made to believe.
This series will be rated YA, and this blog and it’s accompanying books will contain themes of:
Cannibalism.
Mental illness and society’s reaction to and treatment of it over the years.
General violence.
Bodily mutilation.
Hate crimes.
Psychological horror.
Manipulation.
Topics of abuse, emotional, physical, and sexual.
Demons, angels, cryptids, and all that is supernatural.
The meaning of life.
Death.
Explorations of what comes after death, for multiple people
Unhealthy habits/carrying on the cycle of abuse
PTSD
Suicide and self harm.
And what it means to be human and come out the other side with a want and the ability to heal from such horror.
This story also has multiple LGBT characters, and dabbles lightly in gender dysphoria as well as everything else.
If you cannot handle these topics, I ask that you please move along.
My stories aren’t for you.
But, if you find yourself sticking around?
Please come talk to me. I’ve got a whole other world to take you to. <3
To organize my page, here are some helpful tags!
_____________________________
#S.C. Rambles = Anything I happen to talk about (usually personal info, or general blabbering)
#Blood is Sweeter Than Silence/ #bists = anything that has to do with my series
#coutalk/ #coudoodles = Art or info about my character Couteau specifically
#fanblood = Will go on any fancontent made :>
_____________________________
My ask box is always open.
-S.C. xoxo
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TW
TW
TW
ED TW
If you can avoid this, please do. 3at1ng d1sorders are not fun. They’re draining. They’re not beautiful and they’re not to be glamorised, fetishised or romanticised or anything of the sort. They’re a horrible thing that nobody deserves to go through, It takes over ever minute of our lives and makes beautiful people feel like they’re worth next to nothing until they reach their goal, which unfortunately many decide isn’t “enough” if/when they get to that point. Don’t tell people who reach out that they’re “not skinny enough” or they “eat too much” to be unwell. We don’t need to be skeletons to be sick, some of us aren’t thin, some of us don’t restrict, don’t b1nge and purg3, but that doesn’t mean we’re healthy.
Would you tell a person with depression that they’re “not really depressed “ because they don’t sh? Would you tell a person with any physical OR mental disability that they’re not “disabled enough “ to fit your criteria? No, because you don’t get to decide what is “sick enough”. That’s not your decision to make. You haven’t lived a day with their thoughts, their life, so don’t act like you know all about it.
Not everyone with an ed is skinny, not everyone with an ed is underweight. What we all have in common is we are UNWELL. it’s as simple as that. Our mindset is the issue, not our consumption. So do not EVER tell someone that they’re not sick enough to fit your criteria, we don’t fucking do it for you. Some can brush it off, others will take that as a challenge because if they’re not “sick enough”, THEY WILL ONLY GET WORSE. DONT BE THE REASON FOR OTHER PEOPLES DOWNFALL.
IF you’re one of the people that puts down others when you don’t know shit about what they’re going through, you’re scum. You. Are. Scum. And I hope you realise that before it takes somebody’s life, somebody’s daughter or son, someone’s brother or sister. Don’t be the reason someone takes their own life, because you said they weren’t sick enough.
If you’ve read all of this, you are valid. No matter what you’re going through, no matter how long you’ve been going through it or how much you’re struggling, you are valid. You’re loved. Reach out if you can because there’s always somebody somewhere who’s willing to listen, to help. I promise, you are loved, and you are not alone in this world.
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sleepy-achilles · 10 months
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Keeping up with the Michaels- You Matter
Each of the kids struggles with mental health. So obviously read with cation
Tw- Mentions of ED, mentions of past alcohol abuse, mentions of depression. Its not really in detail. I'm just yk making you aware of the topics.
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--John--
John hides his face in his arms. That was his best match this year and still the fans hated on him and put him down.
"You alright kid?" John looks up to see his Pa stood infront of him. "Tough night" John mutters. "Oh yeah, you really went for it tonight. Amazing match johnny" Shawn smiles squeezing his shoulder. John frowns. 'I wish they saw that' he thinks to himself. "Wish me luck, got a match against jericho again. Gonna be hard to up do your match" Shawn chuckles before walking out. "I wish" John whispers sinking down. He groans and taps his temple before forcing himself to move to the showers.
-----
Shawn joins taker in watching John's match. "Is he doing alright?" Taker asks as he spots a look in John's eyes. "I believe so why?" Shawn asks. "Nothin, he's just been acting differently lately." Taker states. "I know he's been working harder in the ring. I just hope he doesn't push himself too hard." Shawn huffs. "We won't let him. Don't worry" Taker promises. Shawn just nods and watches John.
Something was wrong with his boy. It hurt him.
-----
John rests his forehead against the punching bag as he tries to catch his breathe. He doesn't know what to do anymore. Why isn't he good enough for them? He tries so hard and they all still hate him. He pushes away from the bag and begins hitting it, hard and fast. He's gone bare knuckles for once.
In his mind he's trying to make himself feel something.
In his heart he knows he's punishing himself.
"Fuck!" He barks slamming his fist into the bag one more time before taking a step back. He looks down at his bleeding fists and sighs. He needs to get out of his head. He needs the fans and his coworkers to get out of his head. "Please..." he whimpers resting his head against the bag.
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--Leon--
Leon was always a skinny boy. His sister always went on about how she wishes she had a waist like his. He didn't mind being small until he was a full time wrestler.
The fans started getting on at him for being too small, so he ate more. Worked his muscles more.
Between us, not much changed, Leon was still small, but one bad camera angle and the fans changed to fat shaming him.
So Leon began missing meals. Trying to become small again.
He then hears that he doesn't work hard enough, that he was handed everything.
So he begins pushing himself, working harder than anyone else. Barely taking breaks.
Pushing himself too far even for a demon.
---
Drew stands next to Leon, like always during promos, and can't help but notice the way Leon's hands shake as he speaks. He wants to put it down to nerves but he knows Leon. Leon doesn't get nerves, he loses himself in character and it doesn't bother him.
He doesn't mentioned it.
He watches Leon closely from then on.
---
Leon's back hits the floor and he fights for breath. This can't be healthy. He's tired. Hungry. Him! Hungry! He used to eat for the taste, he's never really experienced hunger before, it was a benefit him and his dad had. But now? Now that he was depriving his body its all he wanted.
"Hey, you alright?" Sheamus asks walking over. "Yeah, just need a minute" Leon whispers. Sheamus looks at him concerned. "You know, I saw you shaking the other night..and now your out of breathe...are you sure everything's okay?" Sheamus asks. "Yes, I'm fine. Just some demon stuff" Leon huffs forcing himself to sit up. He hates the wince that comes from him as his lungs burn and scream at him. "Alright man. Just know I'm always he-" "yea yea I know. Now cmon, I need perfect that more." Leon mutters as sheamus helps him up.
Sheamus notes how thin he feels.
----
Drew smiles as he holds the tag belt high. He forces the smile when he sees how bad Leon shakes as he holds his up. The moment the lights begin to fade to end the show Leon begins to fall. Drew is quick to drop the belt and catch the other, helping to soften his fall.
"Leon!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------Cassidy---
Cassie was sober, but she was definitely not happy.
The fans loved her, the other stars loved her.
And yet she wasn't happy.
She wasn't good enough. She wasn't strong enough.
She wasn't John or Leon.
She didn't bring fear to her opponents.
She wasn't a man.
---
Cassie leans against the wall as vince goes over the plans. "What about me?" Cassie asks watching as the boys celebrate their big matches. "Ah you and another diva have a five minute match before the main event." Vince shrugs before walking off.
That hurts cassie.
She's not like Leon or John. She can't be accused of using her family for fame because she can't even get good treatment from them.
"Toughluck fire cracker" Charlotte smirks at her before walking away. Cassies heart sinks.
It wasn't fair. Both of them were nepo babies. And yet Charlotte was treated like royalty and cassie trash. The fans liked cassie more and yet vince didn't see that.
----
Cassie started to hate life. Or atleast herself.
Maybe that's why she said yes to Austin. God she wishes she said no.
"Cmon what's wrong?" Austin smirks. "Im not in the mood Austin." She whispers. "So what? You didn't get a big match, it's fine. Divas will get a shot soon" Austin shrugs. Cassie shoves him. "Im not a diva! I am a wreslter" she snaps. "Samething, no?" Austin asks. "I mean your brothers are stars. You? Your not a star yet"
The words cut into cassies heart.
She knew it was true but to hear it come from a loved one? That hurt more.
----
Austin wasn't a loved one for long. He got what he wanted, he got a stage. He didn't need cassie anymore.
Cassie was starting to get that deja vu feeling.
People didn't need her, atleast not for long.
She can't help but cry against uncle Scott's chest. "Its alright chica" Scott murmurs. No. No its not, is what she wanted to scream.
When would she be good enough?
When would she be appreciated?
---
"I think I need time off"
"Your a rising star cassie, you can't take time off now!"
"I think I need time off."
"Your doing better! You and drew have a big match tonight!"
"I need time off.."
"You are my top star John! Don't be silly, a break now will halt your glamorous career!"
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Shawn could kick himself. He saw all the signs and it took to his own son to faint in the ring for him to pull them all aside.
Taker sits back confused as shawn places a beer in his hand. Their kids are sat at the table. "You three wanna tell me what's going on?" Shawn asks from next to taker. Taker looks at their kids. John's knuckles are bandaged up, Leon can barely sit up and cassie looks like she's been crying for days straight. "Just tired" Leon shrugs, his eyes staring at his plate in need. "Take a bite." Taker speaks up. "Not hungry." Leon mutters forcing his gaze to the wall. "Been busy, that's all" John mutters before eating some pasta. "Well, I was getting married and now I'm not. I'm allowed to be off" cassie mutters.
"You staying sober?" Shawn asks. Takers eyes widen in confusion and cassie glares at Leon. "Wasn't me.." Leon mutters. "You thought I couldn't tell? Trust me, I was you. I was all of you at one point. I can tell. I thought it was a teenage thing, kids drink, they do. But then you continued and I knew it was me." Shawn explains. Cassie looks down. "And you got injuried and got clean. And I'm proud of you." He adds. "Im still sober." Cassie whispers. "All of us?" John asks quietly.
"Not believing your enough, not doing enough." He nods at John. John shrinks. He looks at cassie. "Depressed." She just stares at him. And then he looks at Leon. Leon who's still staring at the wall. "Insecure" "im not Insecure." Leon grits. "When was the last time you ate three whole meals?" Shawn asks, finally having the mans attention. "When was the last time you took a break? Stopped training so hard?" Shawn pushes. "Enough" Leon warns. "I watched you faint in the ring! You shake during promos! You are weak" Shawn spits. Leon stands up, knocking his chairs back. Taker watches as Leon's eyes flash purple in warning. The issue he finds is, it's a weak purple. Not his normal deep purple.
John jolts up and catches Leon as he falls. "Dont" Leon growls planting his hands on the table. John steps back. "Dont.." Leon whispers lowering his head. "I don't think you understand the pressure we are under" Leon forces out, looking back at his parents. "We have eyes on us every hour of the day. John works harder than most of us just to be booed and harassed. Cassie is one of the best women in this company and yet she's still fighting matches as if she's a rookie!" Leon snaps. "And you?" Taker asks. Leon opens his mouth but nothing comes out. "The Internet called him too skinny. And then they told him he was too fat and that he didn't earn his place in this company. He got it because of his parents." John mutters sitting down.
Shawn sighs and watches how Leon wraps an arm around his own waist. "I wish you lot would of talked to us." Shawn states. "What can we do to help?" Taker asks. "Nothing." John mutters. "I just wanna be a star" cassie whimpers as tears rush down her face. Leon glances at her as she hides her face in her hands. "I just want to be appreciated" she muffles. Leon grabs his fork with a shakey hand and takes a piece of pasta before eating it. His fist clenches against the table as a moan leaves his mouth.
Shawn smiles slightly. "God I missed that" Leon groans having some more. "Take it slowly. Don't make yourself sick" Shawn tells him. John looks at him. "Who helped you with this?" John asks. Shawn smiles sadly. "No one. Which Is why I want to help you" shawn states. "How do you stop it? All the voices telling you that your not good enough? How do you stop the teasing comments from coworker from getting to you?" John asks, instinctively pulling Leon's chair closer as the younger sits. "Smile." Shawn states. The kids look at him. "Talk. Smile. Smile to their faces, talk to a loved one. Don't let it build up. You can't let it build up" Shawn tells him.
He looks at cassie who's calmed down slightly. "You? You just need to set vince straight. Stop letting him and the others walk over you. You grew up with Leon and John, I know for fact you can raise your voice to get your point across. Stop worrying what others will think. You are a strong woman and you need to let them see that" Shawn tells her. Cassie flushes slightly. He glances at Leon who's still eating.
"And for someone who doesn't care about the opinions of us stupid humans you've really dedicated yourself to pleasing us." Shawn comments. Leon slowly looks at him. "I just like my vessel to look good" Leon states. "It does. Ignore them. You can be the best in the business and people will still nitpick. They love to see legends fall. Its all a game to them." Shawn states. Leon looks down at the pasta.
He lowers his fork as he takes in the dinner table. Cassie has a glass of water. Him, John and dad have beers. Cassie and John have big bowls of pasta, he doesn't. "Leon?" Taker asks. "You knew..you just wanted to hear us admit it." Leon mutters. "Cassie can tell you that's the first step." Shawn states. Leon looks at his bowl. "I can eat all this without feeling ill. But I cannot eat his or hers" Leon states. "Yes." Shawn nods. Taker looks at shawn.
He wasn't there to help Shawn. And he'll never forgive himself for that. But he will help his kids. "Ill talk to vince tomorrow. Tell him I'm sick of him holding you back and pushing Charlotte forward." Taker states. Cassie looks at him. "You should also talk to rhea more. She really adores you." Shawn adds. "Ill try" cassie smiles as she eats. She watches as a number is placed infront of her. "Shes asked me to give you this" Shawn smiles. Cassie accepts it.
Taker glances at John. "Call me out on raw." Taker tells him. John pauses and looks at him. "What?" John asks. "Im gonna put you over. You waste it, that's on you. I won't make it easy for you though." Taker states. John smiles widely. "No infact, I'll call you out on Monday. You better turn up" Taker warns. "Yessir" John smiles. It's small steps but taker knows it can help rebuild his kids.
"What magic trick you got for me da?" Leon mutters as he reaches for cassies water. Taker moves his finger and it causes the glass to move from Leon's reach. He glares at taker. "You forgot, that used to be my life. Not having to eat and then suddenly having to? That really fucks with your mind and body. I put on so much weight that I hated myself and forced myself to work harder to get it down." Taker states. Leon lowers his gaze. "Ill help you. Keep you on track, make sure your eating. Take that phone away from you." Taker tells him. Leon nods. "Okay.." he whispers.
"You kids aren't us. You don't have to do this alone." Taker tells them. "Sorry" they all mutter. "Please..please just come to us next time." Shawn sighs. "We will" John nods. "Good." Shawn sits.
"This is really nice by the way" Leon admits. "Good, because your dad made it" Shawn smirks.
Taker chuckles as the kids slowly lower their forks, staring at him in shock. "What? I've been taking lessons" Taker shrugs. The kids look at each other. "No way" "it wasn't me. I've been out all day." Shawn states. "Wow...well its really nice dad" John huffs. "Thanks kiddos. Now eat" Taker smiles.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------Notes---
You don't have to suffer alone btw. There will always be someone you can talk to.
Now the fic.
I feel like I've created this image that Leon is a very powerful demon. He is. But still. He seems to have no weakness and I do things like mention he's injuried but then state he can't get injuried.
Leon can heal damage done by humans. He cannot heal damage done by himself or magic things.
Accidents are included by damage done himself.
Also I hated the idea of both Shawn and taker being clueless to cassies drinking problems and well just felt like Shawn would know and was about to step in when cassie got herself help.
And John? Well John's still fairly knew to this fam so we have to sprinkle some trauma in for him.
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gentleeclipsey · 2 years
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Alongside Ben's crippling feeling of having fucked everything up, his fear of abandonment drove him to try and be someone others want to stay around.
Gwen and Ben never got along as kids, but now she's essentially his sister. And at first Kevin was one of Ben's worst enemies, then became one of his closest friends. Max was the only person in Ben's life that he truly felt gave a damn about him, especially because his parents were so absent. But even Max became too busy for him.
With all of them gone he shuts down, shuts everyone out. He's never mean with anyone, he's got an image to uphold after all, but he's never truly open and keeps to himself. When things get bad he feels he has no one to turn to but himself.
He's foolish though, became attached to Rook. They'd become so close, and then...he left. When Max died Ben didn't stay long at the funeral. It felt like walking into a room of strangers, shapes without meaning. He left before anyone could approach him, and ever since he's been as elusive as a Necrofriggian on Pyros.
Everyone's left him, his worst fear came true, and despite it all the only constant has been those trying to kill him. Being alone so much, being the constant source of problems, he wonders if there's a way out. He wants so badly to escape the crushing feeling, but who could he turn to if he can't tryst anyone?
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empyrangel · 2 years
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The most common form of armchair activism that I’ve seen that many people don’t seem to acknowledge is the normalization of going to a stranger and saying “there’s something wrong with you, you should do something about that.” Obviously it’s never phrased that bluntly. Maybe the phrases “I recommend you seek therapy” or “it would really help to find a psychiatrist” from people who are “genuinely concerned” about the people they’re addressing seem more familiar.
The reality is that these people aren’t concerned. They saw the person they address doing/ saying a thing they don’t like and decided they must be mentally ill and therefore need professional help because that’s what mentally ill people have to do in their little fantasy world. They don’t have good intentions, they just have ugly biases they don’t want to confront.
First of all, the fact that they think anyone who doesn’t think like them has something wrong with them is just blatant bigotry. And the fact that they equate mental illness with “something wrong” is definitely something. Then of course there’s the implication that people who are mentally ill need professional help, and that strangers are qualified to decide that. People who’s brains function differently than yours do not have “something wrong” with them. They are not here to be medicalized or “fixed” because they are not broken. There are those who seek ways to help manage the negatives of their condition, but that is their choice to make, not yours or anyone else’s. They don’t need to do shit.
Honestly, the glorification of therapy and psychiatry and whatnot as this end-all-be-all savior of “people with something wrong with them” is sick. It’s like a new religion or something. It’s like any time someone has trauma or mental illness or even problems in general, people will recommend they seek psychological help and phrase it like they have good intentions and then pat themselves on the back. It’s peak performative activism. Have any of you ever considered that maybe metal “help” isn’t all its cracked up to be? That maybe even if someone wants to be cured of their negativities and puts in the effort that is needed that they won’t get the results they were hoping? Counseling and drugs aren’t superheroes, they’re tools. You can use them, or you can not. And sometimes they aren’t the right fit for the job. And sometimes they aren’t needed. The point of these things is that the person is happier with themself, not that they better conform to the social normals. If someone is happy with themself despite the things that you see are “wrong with them” then fuck you they don’t need to change. I spent so long in therapy and on drugs because I thought there was something wrong with me that needed to be fixed, but when I finally assessed my situation I realized that I wasn’t unhappy with my mental conditions, it was everyone else that was, and they were what my distain was against the whole time. I have anxiety and add and autism and bpd and a fuck ton of other things that people don’t like, and I love it. Fuck you I’m not going to smother them for you.
Basically; people who lead different lives with you don’t have anything wrong with them, you do if you think there is, mental conditions are not bad or flaws or things to be fixed, and psychology is not all it’s cracked up to be.
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samijami · 9 months
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I just did something impulsively disgusting to myself, and uh, sexualising
And idfk why
So as a result of me feeling gross after this, I cut myself
Why in the absolute fuck does my brain work this way
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cat-does-artx3 · 8 months
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“Into oblivion”
Angst Angst Angst :D!!
Mercy read more as i info dump and ramble about kit knight and meta knight relationship after the fall of the gsa
trigger/topic warnings:
mental health (ptsd ,anxiety, depression and panic attacks)
Injury and injury mentions (i dont describe them i might mention were the injury is at on the body though)
trauma and mention of past trauma
Depressing thoughts
War and mentions of war
Violence
Mention of blood
Mentions of death
Coma and mention of comas
Mentions of not eating (kit loses her appetite and doesn't eat much)
Unhealthy coping mechanism?? (kit develops a fear of sleep and dosent sleep healthy)
hallucinations and passing out due to lack of sleep (i dont out right say but its implied)
Guilt and survivors guilt
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During the fall of the gsa kit was critically injured in battle, luckily meta knight was able to drag her to a safe place to tend to her.
Realization struck meta knight that they were the last star warriors, one of which was badly injured and could die.
In a internal panic scramble he tended to kit knight with all of the medical knowledge and supplies he had hoping he could save the last thing he had of his now old life.
Dureing the first few days Meta knight would get little to no sleep, always in a constant sate of fear kit would die while he was asleep and leave him with no one.
Although Meta knight was able to stabilize kits injuries she was now in a deep coma.
This brought some peace of mind to Meta knight but he couldn't help the thoughts of kit never waking up from her coma.
Meta knight busied himslef with things to distract his mind form the depressing thoughts.
Stocking up on supplies, reading, patrolling or training just to get his mind away from thoughts of kit dying and being the last star warrior left alone with no one left to share the memories with.
Meta knight took great lengths in taking care of kit, makeing sure she was fed and hydrated, changed her bandages with clean ones, checked her injuries for signs of infection.
When meta knight wasn't doing all of that he would be sitting and talking to kit.
Talking of the good times, wether that be the silly goofy memories or the more soft and heartfelt ones.
Meta knight hoped that if kit could hear him that some of the last things she heard if she were to pass would be him talking about happy memories of the past.
It would be many months before kit finally woke up, and when she did she'd never be the same.
When kit knight finally learned of the falling of the gsa and being the last two star warriors alive she broke down.
She mourned the lost of her sisters, bothers and siblings in arms, her friends and those she saw as family gone in an instant.
All meta knight did was hold kit knight, kit instanly understood he was also mourning. He may not be sobbing or crying like she was but he too was mourning, because grief comes in many colors and shades.
Kit would stop sleeping for days, she couldn't bring her self to sleep. She was scared she would fall asleep and not wake up.
Meta knight understood her, he barely slept the first few nights when kit was injured. But he was starting to notice that it was negatively impacting kit.
She would stare at random spots and mumble quietly, she'd clumsy bump into things and seemed exhausted all the time. She'd try and support her self onto something as she swayed slightly.
Meta knight confronted kit about it worried for her and her health. Kit breaks down apologizing and confessing that she was too petrified to sleep, scared she'd go into a coma again and never wake up.
Meta understood calming kit down from her panic, he told kit that he also was struggling with sleep aswell but for a different reason, Nightmares.
So they both developed ways to help each other. Kit struggled the most with the part of falling asleep and almost never has nightmares, while meta knight struggled with waking from nightmares and unable to go back to sleep.
Meta knight would start reading to kit knight to help her sleep, it could be any book really as long as it distracted her from her thoughts.
Kit would comfort meta knight after nightmares. She would ramble about random things to distract him, trace shapes onto his back and hold him for as long as he wanted her too.
She'd never ask what the nightmares were about not pushing him unless he wanted to talk about it.
After kit woke up she almost completely lost her appetite barely eating, too depressed about the fall of the gsa. Meta knight noticing this would put his best efforts into making her favorite foods to try and help get her to eat.
But we all know meta knight cant cook well, it didn't end up well. the thought behind it really moved kit, pulling her out of her depressive episode and helped her eat more.
When one would fall into a depression episode the other whould help pull them out of it. Being the support for each other during both of their darkest hours.
It'd take time for them to get back to somewhat normalcy, as normal as you can get out of war. But they supported each other and helped one another when the other stumbled.
Bulit upon mutual understanding and trust meta knight and kit knights relationship would only grow in strength over time making them almost inseparable♡♡♡
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onedaughterofman · 1 year
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cw: discussions of (bad) mental health under the cut
I'm sorry guys. I wanted to update "You, forever" tomorrow or on Monday, but that won't be possible. Im afraid I'm not mentally in a good place to continue the fic, and I honestly don't know when my inspiration to finish it will return.
Last months have been hard. I lost many important things/people and now i fear there's no reason for me to stay. Writing has helped me cope with all that mess, but it certainly doesn't do miracles.
I'm telling you all this 'cause i really love the way this fandom has welcomed me and I'm lucky to have such good people here. I felt like you deserved a little explanation on why I'm not updating.
Don't worry if I disappear for a few days, i might take a break from social media. Sorry for the vent post.
Sending love 💜
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tw0nlyfortoday · 7 months
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I love going to college with a multiple learning disability’s crippling mental health conditions and having 12 homework assignments backed up plus I need to lose 18 pounds in the next 20 day
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