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knowltonsrangers · 8 months

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The cutest thing just popped into my head: ben tallmadge x female reader where the reader is from the modern world and is stuck in colonial america so she doesn’t know how to put on a corset and is struggling af. she’s at the continental camp and ben notices out of the flap of her tent that she’s struggling so he walks into her tent and decides to help her lace up her corset and then does her hair in a braid (bc it’s down which was like considered immodest back then) HEHEKSJSJAJWKSJKAS and there’s hella tension n stuff between em and ben can’t help but admire her long hair down and the feel of it ykyk yeah thank u i love ur fics sm <333

TURN!Benjamin Tallmadge x reader

[a/n: aw, this is absolutely adorable! tysm for the request, I hope I did it justice!]

Ben ambled throughout the camp, pacing along the row of tents with his hands clasped behind his back. Every time he heard the flap of a tent open, his blue eyes would bounce to his own tent, hopeful that you would emerge dressed, and yet, it would be another officer going on with their day.

“Oh, for crying out loud—“

His boots meet the dirt in a dramatic manner, storming over to his tent, not quite sure what to be expecting, but it was most certainly not you struggling to lace a corset.

Staring in the entrance, hand pulling the flap back, he’s left stood completely still for a moment, then he clears his throat loudly.

“How long must this take you?”

In return, you yelp, your back to the tent opening. You were never expecting someone to be standing right there.

“Why?! Why did you just do that?”

Your heart clamps over your heart, in an attempt to qualm its fast beating.

“I didn’t mean to startle you, I’m sorry. But, haven’t you ever…?”

Ben notices your hands, and the messy loops, how you’ve been struggling for the past ten minutes trying to figure out the right way to lace the bodice.

“No, why would I? You found me in joggers and t-shirt,”

You deadpan, mirroring Ben’s expression as he sighs, letting the tent close behind him so the two of you are enveloped in complete privacy.

“May I?”

Your cheeks burn red, the tips of your ears as well, but you nod, spinning around once more as the officer approaches, gently undoing all the terrible knots you had made prior.

“You are aware I don’t entirely believe you about your nonsense, right?”

“Please. If this doesn’t prove it, I don’t know what will,”

Ben lifts your hair so it drapes over your right shoulder, out of the way as he begins to lace and weave the ribbon down the bodice.

“Your story is infuriating, but infatuating. I would be lying if I said that I don’t appreciate your story-telling.”

You gasp when he pulls it just too tight, your eyes blinking rapidly as he continues.

“Your stubbornness is infuriating, as well.”

Once he’s satisfied, you spin around, glancing up at the Major as he lets his hands fall to his sides.

“Thank you,”

“Not necessary. Though, you have to do something about that.”

He gestures to your hair, now back over your shoulder as it lays down along your back.

“Can you do it in a cute little braid like yours?”

It was a joke, you had all intentions to put it in a bun atop your head like so many ladies you’d seen around the camp, but Ben sighs, motioning for you to spin around once more.

Your mouth flubs, ready to tell him it was a reflex comment-and yet, the feeling of his calloused palms and soft fingertips running through your hair makes you snap your mouth shut.

“This is a customary hairstyle, I don’t understand why you must make fun of it.”

“It was just a joke, I’ll keep them on the DL from now on.”

Ben makes a face at the ‘DL’ comment, but doesn’t ask what it means.

“May I ask you something?”

“Sure, y/n.”

“If you really don’t believe me, why are you going to all this trouble?”

Ben hums, quickening his motions as the braid begins to descend down your back.

“I’ve determined you are no spy, when you didn’t even know which one was the Lieutenant.”

“I can’t tell all those uniforms apart, who could—“

“Like I said, a portion of me believes you. Maybe you just hit your head too hard and don’t know where you are. Maybe you’re telling the truth.”

“I am, but I’ll do whatever it takes to convince you, Major.”

There’s a bout of silence, and right when you feel him go to tie your hair with a ribbon, you offer him your hair tie over your shoulder.

“I’d like you to use this, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Ben says nothing but it takes him a good minute to figure out how to use it, and tie it securely into your hair.

“Thanks. Maybe it’ll keep me sane for a bit longer.”

“I don’t think you’re crazy, y/n. But I am enamored by your…way of doing things.”

The pink color returns to your ears, and you turn slightly, watching the way Ben takes a hesitant step back, admiring his work.

“Best to get you to the General.”

Your stomach flips, palms sweaty as he goes to exit the tent.

“If you don’t believe me, what makes you think the General will?”

“General Washington? He’s…he’s very good at listening.”

Ben misses the way your jaw falls open, mumbling about how on earth any of this was real, your shoes sinking in the soft dirt as you scramble after him.

#sul writes #amc turn #turn amc #turn: washington's spies #turn washington's spies #turn: washington’s spies #benjamin tallmadge imagine #turn benjamin tallmadge #benjamin tallmadge x reader #benjamin tallmadge #benjamin tallmadge headcanons

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amberlynnmurdock · 1 year

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New Love, New Haven

CHAPTER SIX: More Lasting Than Bronze

Pairing: Ben Tallmadge x Original Female Character

Chapter Summary: Ben shows Sadie the rest of the poem at Yale’s library.

No Warnings

A/N: I am very happy with this chapter, and I hope you all love it! <3

Archive of Our Own Link

October 1772

The tavern was closed on Sunday, so Sadie wasn’t worried about meeting Ben on Chapel Street. Sneaking out was starting to come easy to Sadie. Once she heard her father snoring in his room after church service, she took this as her opportunity to sneak outside and meet Ben.

There was something different about this meeting with Ben—he kept saying that the answers she sought lay in his notes, but if anything, they only brought on more questions. Why did he choose that specific poem from Shakespeare? Of course, Sadie wanted to read more of it and she wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity to see Yale’s library. The more Sadie thought of it, she realized Ben was actually risking his education at Yale by sneaking her in. Well, maybe it wasn’t that dramatic, but he surely wasn’t allowed to bring a nonstudent in, especially a girl. His words echoed in her mind “it was well worth the risk” was what he said, about jumping in her defense against those wretched men.

What is exactly worth the risk? Herself?

Although Ben was being cryptic, Sadie was determined to get to the bottom of whatever he felt. Sadie for one, knew how she felt. She was completely drawn to Ben every time he was around; the attraction was undeniable. Sadie can’t remember the last time she had a crush on someone—probably when she was a schoolgirl, but that was when things were simpler and she was so young. Now that she was a bit older, the attraction was different. She was older now, and she felt more tempted to explore what she’d heard her older sisters talk about.

She felt connected with Ben on an intellectual level—it was nice to talk to someone other than her brother about various subjects. And on a physical level, well… Ben was everything Sadie never knew she would want in a man: tall, soft blue eyes, a smile that could melt your heart, especially when it was directed at her…lips, she wondered what would feel like against hers. That night, when he brought her to the planetarium and placed his arms on hers… Sadie couldn’t help but wonder what his entire body would feel like against hers.

Stop, Sadie told herself. It is highly inappropriate to be thinking of your brother’s best friend this way. And yet, when she saw Ben waiting for her, patiently, at the same spot he was always at, the same thoughts from before crept into her mind. She wished she could keep the hood of her cloak over her head.

Surely there was a reason why both of them kept this thing going. Who would be the first to break the boundary?

Sadie wanted to smile when she finally approached Ben, until she saw the black and blue bruise fully formed at the top of his left cheekbone. Her smile quickly faded, a worried expression falling over her face. She absentmindedly reached up to Ben’s face and gently brushed her thumb over the bruise. Upon contact, Ben wanted to melt into her touch, but it quickly was taken away as fast as it came.

“I’m sorry,” Sadie stuttered, “does it hurt?”

Ben shook his head, “not at all. It won’t be there forever.”

Sadie pursed her lips, “I suppose.”

“How did you sleep?” Ben asked her, concerned because he couldn’t help but notice how distraught Sadie was after last night. Sadie finally took the hood of her cloak down.

“Surprisingly good,” Sadie stated, “I think it was the poem you left with me that helped. It was beautiful.”

Ben’s eyes lit up at the mention of the poem, which was essentially the reason why they were meeting. There was no confirmation of this meeting, Sadie realized. They had communicated entirely and relied completely on Ben’s note and Sadie making her decision. She wondered what would have happened if Sadie didn’t decide to meet him today. He would’ve been here all alone.

“Well,” Ben stated, beginning to walk, “now you get to read the rest of it.” Sadie followed and walked right next to Ben, all the way to Yale University.

☆☆☆☆

The walk to Yale was quiet. Neither Ben nor Sadie spoke a word. They only let the sounds of the leaves blowing in the wind fill the silence, the clack of their shoes on the cobblestone path. Every now and then, Sadie would feel Ben’s arm brush against hers, and she couldn’t help but wonder if he was doing that on purpose. She hoped he was. And she would do the same.

The sun was just about setting down and by the time they reached the door to the library, the sky was completely dark.

Although it was dark in the library, it was still clear that this library was massive in size. Ben lit a lantern and held it up, leading them down between wooden desks. Sadie tried to take in as much as she could see. She knew she would spend hours in this library if she could. In front of them, at the end of the path of tables, were large bookcases that almost looked like towers of books. Sadie lightly tapped each desk as they walked by.

At the last desk on the right side was a large leather-bound textbook. Ben set the lantern on the table and pulled out both chairs. Sadie sat down first, followed by Ben. He scooted his seat closer to the table and in doing so, his knee bumped into Sadie’s.

The book’s cover read Collected Poems of Years Before.

“Did you have this ready for me?” Sadie inquired, running her fingertips over the cover.

Ben grinned, “of course.”

“I really do appreciate you going out of your way to show me these things. Everything you’ve shown me so far,” Sadie told Ben and smiled softly. The light of the lantern glowed across half her face.

“Well, I want to. And you know, there’s so much left to show you, if you’ll let me,” Ben replied, leaning in a bit more when he said the last few words of his sentence for emphasis. Sadie nodded her head and smiled—she truly was happy right now, sitting here next to Ben.

He held her gaze for a moment before clearing his throat and sliding the book toward him.

“Let me find the page of the poem… ah!” Ben flipped through the pages of the text before landing on the page he wanted. At the top of it read Shy Love and Sadie leaned over as Ben moved the book so they were both equally looking at it.

“Shy Love,” Sadie said aloud.

“Do you want to read it?” Ben asked. Sadie nodded and cleared her throat as she began to read the poem, at least, continuing from what Ben had written her.

Sometimes I think

Our heads might be enclosed

Closer together upon the pillow’s space,

And how into the dark deeps of your eyes

I’d look and think of angels. Then your breath

And all the aura of your body’s breathing

Intoxicatedly would overwhelm me

And I would die. For it is too much

That such a thing should be and I should live.

Surely the thought is greater than reality,

The sum of you and love outsteps infinity.

If happiness were like

The flowers of June then I would take

The best of them, roses and columbine,

The lilies, and bind them in your hair.

They are not more beautiful but they add

Meaning to my love. For all our words

Are short and lame of breath and stumble,

And you surpass them though I know not why.

Shy love I think of you as the day wanes

And as the sun sinks deep into the ocean

And as the stars turn round above in silent

motion.

When Sadie was finished reading she looked at Ben who was reading the words along with her. He looked at her and ran a hand over his lips before placing them on his knees. He looked a bit uncomfortable—or he wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words.

“That’s one of my favorite poems by Shakespeare,” Ben stated, smiling at Sadie sheepishly.

"It is quite beautiful,” Sadie whispered, tracing her fingertips along the words. On the sides of the margins were drawings of vines and flowers. “I wonder whom he wrote this about and if they knew it was about them.”

“It was always dedicated to a W.H., and there’s been speculation about whose initials they belong to,” Ben explained.

“So, it’s a mystery,” Sadie raised an eyebrow, “no wonder he wrote so many tragedies and romantic plays. He lived for the drama, and here we are, still guessing.”

“At least now we can interpret them as we like,” Ben replied.

“And what did you interpret about this poem?” Sadie asked. “And does it have anything to do with the answer to the question I had last night?”

Ben was surprised at how forward Sadie was being, but then again, he was not sure he’s ever met a quiet, contained Hale. He let out a soft chuckle. “To answer your first question,” Ben began, adjusting in his seat. “I interpret this poem as yearning after someone. It’s about wanting to get to know someone past the small details that are obvious to everyone else. But also, not wanting to stop learning about them, once you do.”

Sadie pondered momentarily, feeling her heart beating fast in her chest. She took a deep breath to compose herself.

“I agree,” Sadie said, “I see it as… wanting to admit to something, but staying comfortable in your own world, as you yearn after that person. Because the narrator talks as if he’s admitting things to himself only, speaking to the object of his desire from afar.”

“Indeed,” Ben said in a low voice. “To answer your second question, come with me.” Ben grabbed the lantern and stood up, holding his free hand out for Sadie. Sadie looked at it hesitantly, before reaching her hand and meeting Ben’s. She stood up, expecting him to let go, but was pleasantly surprised when he didn’t.

He lead her down the path of bookshelves holding her hand until he turned into one and lead her to the middle of the aisle. There was an open space on one of the shelves, and Ben carefully placed the lantern there. He let go of her hand to do this, and Sadie felt herself go cold.

Ben reaches overhead and pulls down another leather-bound book, but this one is much smaller than the other book with fewer pages. He holds it out for Sadie to see: the title is Shakespeare’s Sonnets.

“The other book was just a general textbook of poems,” Ben said aloud, “this one is specifically of Shakespeare’s sonnets.”

That was all interesting, but Sadie just wanted to know how this was the answer to her second question. She nodded impatiently.

“Show me,” Sadie urged, widening her eyes. Ben smiled and opened the book. He traced his pointer finger down the table of contents until he landed on the text that said “Sonnet 45.” Checking the page number, he quickly flipped through until he found the sonnet.

Then, Ben began to read to Sadie.

The other two, slight air and purging fire, Are both with thee, wherever I abide; The first my thought, the other my desire, These present-absent with swift motion slide. For when these quicker elements are gone In tender embassy of love to thee, My life, being made of four, with two alone Sinks down to death, oppressed with melancholy; Until life’s composition be recured By those swift messengers return’d from thee, Who even but now come back again, assured Of thy fair health, recounting it to me: This told, I joy; but then no longer glad, I send them back again and straight grow sad.

When he was done, Ben closed the book and put it back in its place on the shelf. Sadie watched him carefully, and suddenly realized how far in the library they were—how dark it was, if not for the small lantern that gave a warm glow. Although the glow of the lantern was lighting up one side of his face, the other half was dark, like the library.

She thought for a moment about the sonnet he read aloud—she could only pick out the theme of desire and the two elements of air and fire. Sadie tried to put the puzzle together in her mind. This isn’t the first time Ben has spoken of desire.

Ben could tell Sadie was trying to figure out what he meant. He thought it was now or never to be clear about what he meant.

“Sadie,” Ben whispered her name softly, taking her folded hands and holding each one. He gently caressed her knuckles with his thumbs, looking at her hands in his, and thought to himself how he could get used to this image, this feeling.

“You are my fire in that sonnet,” Ben stated plainly, locking eyes with Sadie. Sadie’s hands were cold, but not when Ben was holding them.

Ben took a step closer to Sadie and in doing so, pulled her closer to him, bringing her hand so they were level with his chest.

“I…” Ben started to say but trailed off and looked away from Sadie, his eyes finding a spot on the floor to gaze at.

Sadie furrowed her brows together, looking at the perplexed expression on Ben’s face.

“What is it?” Sadie quietly asked.

“I deeply desire you, Sadie,” Ben told her in truth, meeting her eyes again. Sadie opened her mouth to speak and saw Ben quickly glance at the movement. She closed her mouth again and Ben bit his lip in frustration.

“But,” he said exasperated, “you are my best friend’s younger sister, and I’ve been arguing with myself the past few weeks, but my desire for you is stronger than my fear, and—“

Sadie immediately let go of Ben’s hands, like he burnt them somehow. Ben immediately was worried he might have offended her in some way, and truthfully, he did.

“Gosh Ben, you had me until—until you demeaned me to someone’s younger sister,” Sadie looked away, annoyed. She looked at Ben again. “It’s true, I am Nathan’s sister, but what, am I not allowed to have this? Everywhere I go, I’m either just someone’s younger sister, daughter, or young niece, and it makes everyone think twice about experiences that I have a right to! Can’t I just be Sadie Hale, on my own terms? You can’t just speak to me like you’re the only one who has a say about who I am, and what is best for me or the situation,” Sadie started to walk off but stopped in her tracks, realizing she had let her short temper get the best of her. Ben was being so sweet, wearing his heart on his sleeve, and there she was tearing him down.

She couldn’t deny the fact that she had the same worries as him. She supposed hearing them aloud made them all too real, and made her realize just how silly those fears were. Sadie is her own person. She does what she wants on her own terms. It’s why she decided to come out to the city. It’s why she yearns to read about the studies Nathan and Ben have.

She turned around and faced Ben again, who stood crestfallen and quiet.

“If you desire me,” Sadie stated, standing close to him like she was before, “then you desire me. And if you’re afraid to have me, it’s because you’re afraid to lose me—not because I happen to be someone’s sibling.”

Ben’s mouth was agape as he nodded his head, seriously afraid he might’ve ruined his chances. “Sadie, of course, I—Christ, I don’t want to be too candid, but Sadie it’s everything about you I desire. Your thoughts, your fears, your aspirations,” Ben quickly defended, taking Sadie’s hands again. “Your voice, your…” his voice became quaky, “being.”

“I know you are more than what family you are part of,” Ben whispered, “but, if you let me finish before, I was going to say that it didn’t matter to me—not as much as how badly I desire you,” he explained in a low voice leaning in closely to Sadie. “If you’ll let me.”

She nodded in understanding, a blush creeping to her cheeks. To hear someone say that to her felt good. It felt good to be wanted like that, especially by a man like Benjamin Tallmadge. Sadie wanted to feel desired like some of the women who came into the tavern were. And no one thought twice about whose family they came from. Sadie wanted to be seen as just herself, and she was starting to think that Ben saw her that way. She felt respected, she felt seen by Ben.

“I’ll let you,” Sadie whispered back, slowly closing the space between their faces. Ben closed the final few millimeters between them and gently pressed his lips to Sadie’s, taking a sharp intake of breath as he felt her melt into his lips. She dropped his hands and placed hers against the velvet of his coat on his chest. He kissed her deeply, and Sadie soon realized she didn’t know a thing about kissing, but she suspected she was doing all right as Ben hadn’t pulled away yet. And when he did, she took a deep breath, her forehead resting against his. Both of their mouths were wet from the kiss.

“This is still between us—I’ll only let you if we do this on my terms,” Sadie stated, fumbling to grab his cravat as some sort of security, something to hold onto.

“Damn me if I don’t,” Ben breathed; Sadie could feel his hot breath against her neck as he placed small kisses on her neckline. This turned something in Sadie, something she couldn’t explain. All she knew was that she wanted more.

☆☆☆☆

On the walk back, Ben held Sadie’s hand and walked closely with her. Although his desire for her outweighed his fear, it was still heavy on his mind what Nathan would do if he were to ever find out about them. Ben suspected this is what Sadie meant when she said her terms—her terms for when people close would find out. Perhaps more, but that had to be the main meaning.

Ben glanced at Sadie, who looked deep in thought staring at the ground they walked on.

“Are you tired?” Ben asked her.

As if pulling her from her thoughts, Sadie looked at Ben and shook her head. “No, not really. I do have a question, though.”

“You can ask me anything,” Ben told her.

“Well…,” Sadie began, sheepishly. “I mean—our kiss—um, was I…up to par?”

Ben smiled at her question, but he didn’t want to laugh.

“I enjoyed it very much,” Ben asked, “was I?”

“Of course, Ben,” Sadie answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “I just… was I?”

“I’m not sure what you mean, darling,” Ben replied, “you have lovely lips… and the kiss was lovely. There’s not much more I can attest to, but I will say I can’t wait to do it again.”

Sadie blushed and smiled to herself, and was quiet the rest of the way home.

☆☆☆☆

Reaching the back door, Ben walked her directly to the steps, unlike the other times when he would stand a few feet away. Sadie turned to him and sighed.

“And just when I felt like the night was only beginning,” Sadie said.

Ben smiled and looked at the tavern, then back to Sadie.

“One day we won’t have to do this so late. I’d like to walk on the beach with you during the day, or take you on a horse ride with Willow, in the woods,” Ben told her as he held her gaze.

It was silent again, and Ben decided to fill the space with another kiss on Sadie’s lips. He brought his hands to her face and gently caressed her cheekbones with his thumbs. She placed her hands on top of his and slowly drew them down so they rested on her waist.

“Aere perennius,” Ben whispered as he pulled back. “Your kiss.”

“More lasting than bronze,” Sadie translated.

“Indeed.”

Ben wished Sadie goodnight and left the tavern once he heard her lock the door.

Upon getting back to his boarding house, where he was roommates with Nathan, he looked at his sleeping friend as he quietly took off his shoes and unrobed into his night clothes. Settling into bed, Ben drifted off to sleep, content.

#ben tallmadge #ben tallmadge x reader #ben tallmadge x ofc #ben tallmadge x original female character #benjamin tallmadge #seth numrich #amc turn #turn #turn: washington’s spies #nathan hale #amrev #american revolution #history #fanfic #new love new haven

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