#turbo panic attacks

[futurefind]

" at least i have you to look after me, eh? " from cyrillo for sa :’ ))

“𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥” 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘴. / accepting // @tvrningout

She sees red— literally— and her mind goes white. She focuses on what's important— what actually matters— and squashes everything else— the worry, the panic, the terror, the urge to cry and scream and throw up, the ghosts suddenly suffocating her— into a far off corner of her mind so she can get to work.

She doesn't remember much after that, but also remembers every breath with an eye-seering clarity. The reek of blood. How he was colder than he should've been. Crimson embedding itself in the cracks of her skin, under her nails. Every single stitch and plaster and bruise and scrape.

How she can't close her eyes, for even a blink, lest she see the life drain from his. Keeps checking and double checking and triple checking his face to make sure it isn't so, no matter how briefly.

After an eternity, after a blink of an eye, she's done.

She excuses herself to the bathroom (she thinks she says to clean up), and regrets it immediately. It hits her like a horsekick to the chest, she can't breathe she can't breathe she can't breathe— and she barely keeps herself from sending her fist through the mirror (and, changes are, into the wall behind it). She hates looking at herself, on a good day, and now—

Now she'd failed. Again. There's blood on her hands and it's not hers, because it's never hers. It's all for her but it's not hers, and it should be hers, it should've always been hers, the blood on her clothes and the eyes going lifeless. Why isn't it hers?!

Why is she—

She shoves the wind back into her lungs like gathering broken glass with naked hands, and pulls herself back outside. She doesn't think she actually got to cleaning. She just knows seeing Cyrillo again, like this, rips her heart out of her chest. But him still being here, gaze alive, lets it continue to beat — no matter how atrocious and gorey of a thing it is. That she is.

Sasume feels about as old as Cyrillo presumably is, maybe older, but without any immortality or undeath to keep her going. Like a puppet with its strings cut and joints rotted and clogged still trying to drag itself through its cues as if there's any audience left.

She sits at his bedside again, silently. Doesn't remember doing it. Can only stare at the spark in his eyes until she's seeing through them, seeing nothing at all, as if pretending to keep him out of her nightmares could ever keep him from joining the graveyard at her feet, pumping through her veins. Keeping her alive, no matter what she says or wishes or wills otherwise — because she's never had a choice.

" — at least i have you to look after me, eh? "

And she wheezes, chest crushing in on her ribs and heart and soul so suddenly and so fiercely once more that the world starts to spin. Heat floods her skin even as her blood runs ice cold, and acid creeps up her chest. Her vision blurs, and she isn't sure if the world is shaking or if her bones are.

"Don't—" she chokes on a sob, wetness leaking out of her eyes, and presses the hand she'd been gripping tight against her forehead instead of her own. She gasps, a keening, pathetic thing, and sees more than feels the tears pouring out.

It's not fair, she thinks, both distantly and as deafening as a thunderclap. She's not sure if she means this, or all the bodies piled up in her heart. If it's his being hurt, or that she's not hurt, or that taking all the gods damned blades and bites and bruises in the world can't spare those closest to her even a single one— no matter how much she wants otherwise.

"Don't—" she can't get anything else out. Doesn't even think there'd be a point. Even if, already, it feels like she's begging. For him to not play light, maybe, but also for the gods to maybe— maybe— show her even the slightest of favor and make it so this wasn't so. That maybe—

"I should've been there," she chokes out, nonsensically, world blurring again, pressing the back of his hand even harder against her own skin. If she gives even the slightest inch, even now, who's to say he won't slip through her fingers a final time?

"I should've...—" and finally, curled over herself like that, at Cyrillo's bedside as he warms her own damned bed, she weeps.

#tvrningout #tvrningout: cyrillo #ic // sasume #v: dorverold #prompt responses // #emeto // #panic attack // #blood mention // #disassociation // #oh dear god(s) uhhhhhhhhhh #ask to tag // #pov sa has. so much fucking Trauma 8'))) and lost loved ones 8')))) #sure SEEING him get hurt first hand would be infinitely worse but at least when shes /not/ there its easier to imagine her Stopping it yk.. #ft indirect miscommunication fuel bc :'))) cyrillo thinks her isms are bc of her Duty/JobTM while shes so fucked up bc she cares abt HIM yk #also dear god lmfao bc. not only will she be biting at the bit to hyper turbo slaughter who / what ever did this to him . #liable to be uncannily temperamental/rebellious/volatile even in the field/wrt orders abt it #including risks of Fourth cropping up whether briefly or to rrod HER a la that other inverse caretake-y meme

[bitchfitch]

tbh that last comic was meant as a joke but now I'm considering making big changes to make Aetius being human for a day a plot point. Like, it would get a kick out of it sure, but 90% of my motivation for this is Serapis deserves to get good head at least once and lion mouths are just not built for that task. plus also him finding out about oral that way would be way funnier than any other way for him to discover it.

#Dude was a virgin before Aetius and didn't even know how babies were made beyond 'sex is involved somehow' #He had a panic attack the first time Aetius attempted to get intimate with him because he didn't know what to do but Aetius clearly #expected him to know and it was a whole thing. #Poor guy spent his older teen years and entire young adulthood alone. he never got the chance to like. learn any of this stuff but #people assume hed be experienced and its a whole thing #anyways its another turbo bad fatigue day #sorry for rambling

[daincrediblegg]

Breaking: local tumblrina had to do a standup team in front of a bunch of normies whose sense of humor (as inevitably expected) flew over their heads. One injured (me) one dead(also me)

#anyway one panic attack later I don’t think I did too bad #I DID get some gasps when I said I wanted to suck every ounce of fluid out of paul sun hyung lee’s body through his dick #but a pretty big laugh after I said ‘but I can’t SAY that CAN I?’ and boy it was a sigh of relief #I did absolutely fuck up the rest with mad anxiety that was so bad I forgot to actually read couldn’t see a damn thing on my notecards #but I think I did ok I guess but good god has all this thrown me into turbo depression mode #anyway I’m sticking to my tumblr tag format where I belong

[turboputt03]

me: *starts having an anxiety attack while watching dsmp* okay maybe I should switch to a different form of entertainment

me: *catches up on some webcomics* Oh! this is one of my favorite comics!

the comic: *takes an angst turn, talking about trauma and ptsd*

me: this is the exact opposite of what I wanted

#dsmp #dream smp #turbo's things #tw anxiety attack #tw anxiety #tw panic attack #batman: wayne family adventures #b:wfa

[elbowreveal]

why did i think a second mug of coffee was a good idea oh god

#i have been turbo charged #i need my hamster wheel so i dont have a panic attack for a third day in a row #pray i funnel this energy into my drawing lessons #i am doing learnign over here yes #so i can get even better at mind craft fanarts #hehe

[bowieandqueen11]

Being Scotty’s Best Friend Would Include...

Request: I'm so excited you brought up Star Trek! I was wondering if you could do some hcs for having Scotty as a best friend. I'm such a big fan of your writing. I hope you're having a great day!

Oh my gosh I’m always here for a little Scotty love and it’s been far too long since I wrote for Star Trek! Thank you darling :)

Warning: mentions of drinking alcohol, and mentions of injury/needles! 

(I do not own Star Trek or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @whoophoney.)

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°

I love my Scottish icon so much but since he takes on literally 100% of the stress for keeping this beautiful old ship afloat, he is on the brink of an exhaustion induced mental breakdown 24/7. Sometimes you have to go down to Sickbay and rope Bones into helping you; the look of panic on Scotty’s face when the two of you step out of the turbo lift and come literally sprinting towards him is something behold. With only minimal squirming, the two of you manage to rope yourselves around his arms and drag him down to his room just to get a few hours of bloody sleep. You stay, flopping down on his sofa because you know Scotty too well, and in two jiffs he’d be making a beeline straight for those sliding doors again. Bones even decides he can finish off his last bits of paperwork in the corridor, helping you keep watch. 

You and Scotty manage to finally come to a halfway point: he’ll stay in his room, but only if he can curl up onto the settee next to you, and fall asleep with his chin smushed against the side of your face. He has a massive crick in his neck when he wakes up the next morning, stretching his arms out past your head while you shake a glob of his slobber off your shoulder, but it’s worth it to see how bouncy he is back down in engineering. 

Sometimes when things are a bit slower on the Enterprise the two of you will have drinking competitions down in his office. Chekov happens to wander past one afternoon, and comes in laughing when he spots you desperately trying to hold back your laughter as Scotty wiggles his eyebrows on you. He nearly jumps out of his seat in a fit of giggles when you accidentally spray half of the whiskey in your mouth out over his uniform, but poor Chekov decides to wander over to your desk right then and gets most of it on the side of his face. 

To be completely honest, the joy the two of you bring to each other is so infectious, that most of the Enterprise’s crew seem to gravitate towards the two of you at one time or another. One night, you and Scotty were sitting in a couple of desk chairs in the recreation room, nothing but the pearls of picked starlight whirling in the open expanse behind your head to keep you company in the dim room. The two of you are trying to speak over each other, gossip and idle chatter passing easily between the two of you as you unwind after a very long week down main engineering. It’s a very chill, warm, and comforting vibe that Jim walks in to: your legs are slung over Scotty’s lap as you nod at whatever topic his mind has jumped onto now, and he stops every so often to over you his whiskey bottle and steal it back once you’ve taken a sip. Jim likes to just sit in the same room as the two of you, because the constant stream of familiar chatter immediately drowns out and calms the storm of anxiety that brews up slowly in his head.

This man has an absolutely abysmal sense of humour, and you adore it. The ship could be in the middle of an intense attack, sweat dripping down both your faces as you make a run to the engine, trying to stop a couple of the blades from spinning off in a fiery blaze that would destroy half the cabins. Despite you literally hauling his ass through a small shaft, your grip on his legs tenuous at best as you try to dangle some equipment out from the loops of your belt, Scotty decides it’s the best time to try and crack terrible jokes to alleviate the tension. Well, he says ‘tension’, but to be completely honest he knows how afraid you are, and it breaks his heart to think that he could die without even trying to help you. 

Well, he tries to crack jokes until the ship lurches sideways, and then you’re dangling from the railings around the engine while Scotty holds onto your shoulders ‘scooby doo’ style.

This man is seriously, genuinely, incredibly protective over you. He sees you as his sibling: the closest thing he has to family (before he gets close to the rest of the crew as well), and so if he finds Spock to be a little too... demeaning towards you, even though he doesn’t mean to be, he will 100% shove you behind his back. The incorrectly filled out paperwork Spock was trying to hand back to you flutters down to the floor, and Spock raises an eyebrow in measured surprise as Scotty’s fingers encircle your wrist. Then the pointer finger comes out wagging, his mouth goes off running, and you’re pretty sure you can hear him yell ‘go ahead, fire me! You bet your arse you won’t be able to find two better engineers in all the universe, laddie!’

Spock, frozen in place and confused with the interaction, just turns his head to you and offers an apology once Scotty finally cools down a little. Once he heads back to the bridge to recount what happened to an incredibly amused Jim, Scotty’s tight grip onto your wrist turns into a bone crushing hug. He mutters his own sincere apologies for letting that happen into the top of your head, hefting your feet off the floor and spinning you around, his face burning red as his chin bumps against your forehead.

He has this little check in he likes to do with you (well, mainly to check in, but also to tease you a little in the proper brotherly fashion.) You know you should probably run away when he starts slinking over to where you’re tinkering with your wrenches, with a sly smile on his face. He’ll come leaning against the wall beside you, running the back of his knuckles down the side of your face fondly, before gently slapping the side of your cheek a couple of times. You always do your best to try and poke him on the shoulder back, but that little bugger is fast as lightening as he ducks away from you and runs down towards the corridor. Sometimes Bones has wandered tiredly into one of the medical supply closets, nearly being knocked down onto his ass as you run past him with a little goblin grin and a big wave. He should have known rightly, as he opens the door, that Scotty would be hiding in here. Scotty, however, is incredibly surprised, and falls down from the pipe he’s hanging onto from the ceiling down onto a stack of shelves. 

Bones just sighs and heaves him up, his tricorder already out and scanning his head as he leads him down to Sickbay. He knows to get on his comms immediately and notify you because: 1) the two of you have this kind of sixth sense where you know when the other is in trouble, so you’re already perched on the edge of Len’s desk, immediately yelling at Scotty before the two of them have hobbled through the door. And 2) Scotty, like Jim, absolutely does his best to escape Sickbay at all costs and it drives Len insane, so he needs your help to keep him in his biobed. Bones does his best to stitch up the gash in Scotty’s leg as you loop your arm around his left and haul him back down. Between muffled swears, Scotty trying to jerk you off, and you patting the beads of sweat away from his forehead gently to comfort him, Scotty begins to ease into it. 

I feel like the two of you would be the type to try and tease Jim any chance you got. Say, if there’s some huge ballroom event held down at base that the crew all go to? You and Scotty are definitely on the dance floor, having a competition to see who can stand on the other’s feet the most, and waltzing terribly back and forth in front of poor Jim and whoever he’s currently trying to hold a conversation with. Eventually he just gives up, and the two of you are beat in your terrible dancing only by Jim and Spock, who he’s managed to coax to the edge of the floor and is currently just doing a slow box step in place around Jim’s arms lmao.

Sometimes you’ll head back to your quarters after a long shift to find Scotty’s bent over behind greeting you. Turns out, once he turns around in surprise with a sheepish grin, that he has spent his break fixing bits and bobs around your room. Eh, there’s a few concerning bolts scattered around your floor, and your shower now has an extra knob that you’re far too terrified to turn, but he’s so sweet bless his heart. He gets this massive, sunshine filled, proud grin on his face when you thank him for helping out, and comes clambering over towards you to engulf you in a bear hug. He has a hard time telling the people that he cares about that he loves him, so acts of devotion are definitely this man’s love language. He’s just trying to show you how much he cares in the only way he knows how, so please squeeze your arms around his waist and grip onto the broad expanse of his back, because it’s the best way for him to understand that you return the sentiment.

The two of you usually spend your shore leave together: either the two of you find a random, deserted planet and do your best to spend the time curled up asleep on the shore of a serene beach, or he takes you back to Glasgow to visit Fran since she loves you so much.

He pretends, fervently, that he’s not incredibly dependent on you being around, but bruh. If the plans ever need to change, or you receive a message on your communication device about an emergency situation back at Starfleet you’re being sent for, Scotty will act really mopey and upset for the rest of the trip because he truly misses your company so much.

#star trek #star trek imagine #scotty #montgomery scott #scotty imagine #montgomery scott imagine #scotty x reader #montgomery scott x reader #scotty headcanons #montgomery scott headcanons #star trek headcanons #star trek tos #star trek aos

[real-time-twilight]

New Moon in Real Time

March 19th, 2006 (Sunday)

On this Day

Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous 🌖

🌄 Sunrise: 6:20 AM

🌅 Sunset: 6:30 PM

New Moon, Ch. 19 ("Race"), Ch. 20 ("Volterra"), Ch. 21 ("Verdict"), Ch. 22 ("Flight"): Pgs. 433 (from line 19)--495 (to line 16)

12:50 AM (Approx.) - Bella and Alice board their connecting flight to Italy

2:00 AM (Approx.) - Alice wakes Bella to tell her the Volturi will refuse Edward's request, buying them time to ragged him as he plans to force the Volturi's hand

5:30 AM (Approx.) - Alice updates that the Edward's request has now been denied and he's formulating his plan for suicide-by-Volturi: walking into the sun at noon

10:45 AM (Approx.) - Alice steals a yellow Porsche 911 Turbo at the airport

11:30 AM (Approx.) - Alice and Bella get caught in traffic at the gates of Volterra

11:45 AM (Approx.) - Alice gives Bella her instructions on how to save Edward and dazzles and bribes the guard

11:55 AM (Approx.) - Alice lets Bella out at the South end of the plaza; Bella run the rest of the way

12:00 PM - Bella runs into Edward, who believes he is dead when he sees her, until she mentions the Volturi

12:01 PM (Approx.) - Felix and Demitri make their presence known

12:03 PM (Approx.) - Alice appears

12:04 PM (Approx.) - Jane makes her entrance and Edward surrenders any possibility of getting Bella out without an audience with the Volturi; Jane leads the way

12:15 PM (Approx.) - They arrive at the the Volturi reception area and are met by Alec, who leads them into the tower; they are greeted by Aro

12:16 PM (Approx.) - Aro sends Felix to fetch Caius and Marcus, and addresses his guests; Caius and Marcus enter; Aro marvels at Edward's control and laments the "waste" of resisting his singer

12:20 PM (Approx.) - Aro requests to test if Bella is an exception to his mind-reading gift as well; intrigued by her immunity, Aro has Jane test her power of torture on Bella as well--Edward attempts to intervene and is incapacitated by Jane; Jane tries again to use her power on Bella, who proves unaffected, to Jane's displeasure

12:24 PM (Approx.) - Aro moves on to business and asks Edward if he's reconsidered Aro's over offer to join the Volturi. Edward has not reconsidered. Alice also declines. Aro offers Bella an opportunity to join the ranks; she, too, declines. Aro allows them to leave with Bella alive only with Alice's assurance that it is their intention for Bella to eventually join their coven

12:30 PM (Approx.) - Felix leads Edward, Alice, and Bella out of the tower chamber as Heidi returns with a large tourist group

12:31 PM (Approx.) - In the reception area, Bella collapses into a panic attack, having heard the tourists being massacred

1:00 PM (Approx.) - Edward and Alice discuss travel arrangements for getting home while waiting out the daylight in the reception room; Edward explains the concept of "Singers" to Alice

6:35 PM (Approx.) - Alec informs Bella & Co. that they are free to leave, and asks that they not linger in the city

6:40 PM (Approx.) - Edward and Bella get into the car Alice has stolen for their transportation; Bella refuses to sleep on the car-ride to the airport

7:15 PM (Approx.) - Bella & Co. Arrive at the Florence airport

9:00 PM (Approx.) - Bella & Co. Change over in Rome; Bella refuses to sleep during the plane ride as well

#twilight saga #twilight renaissance #new moon in real time 🥀 #bella swan #edward cullen #alice cullen #real time twilight #new moon 🥀 #the volturi #aro volturi #marcus volturi #caius volturi #felix volturi #demitri volturi #jane volturi #alec volturi #heidi volturi

[snake-in-the-garden]

Chapter 4 is Here!!!

Banner by @chazz-anova​

Chapter 4: Word Gets Around

Summary: Ramona becomes a special interest to Eden’s Gate.

Pairing: Sharky Boshaw/Ramona Belmont

Rating: M (for now)

Word count: 7.1k (oh god...!)

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of past r*pe/s*xual assault, panic attacks, brief plane jacket slander, John and Jacob being themselves

A/N: Hey there...It's been too long since the last chapter due to me loosing some motivation to write everyday when winter hit. There's just something about the cold air and early night time that just takes a toll on me. Anyway I felt so bad about basically disappearing for months, I made this chapter way too long for what I usually write and it still came out like it was rushed. Ugh...Thanks to those who were patiently waiting to see more of Ramona and happy reading!

Taglist: @euaveri @turbo-virgins @eur0paa-2 @strafethesesinners @henbased @adelaidedrubman(I guess both of our girls aren’t special) @aceghosts @shallow-gravy​ @alexmalikplays @gxmergurl @thomrainer @lost-poets-poetry @svsunflowers @mr-krinkle  @jfsfjjj

Prev. Chapters: Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3

Masterlist || Taglist

Read it here or on Ao3

~~~

"I think an apology is in order," Mary May admitted. "From me, of course." Ramona arched an eyebrow as she stopped sipping on the red, fizzy beverage the blonde had gifted her. "You strutted in them Jimmy Choo's got me thinkin' you were one of John's people," Mary May continued. "I thought Sharky had made the same mistake as last time and I just went off makin' you think I was some sorta bigot." Speaking of Sharky, he had just left the bar a bit ago to check if the garage in town was open or not. Ramona would've gone herself if Sharky hadn't insisted.

"This happened before?" Ramona asked, resting her head in her hand.

"Sharky had brought one of them Peggie girls in here some years ago." Mary May grimaced at the memory. "She started goin' on about 'The Father this' and 'The Father that' so much I had to kick 'em out."

"I assume 'The Father' is Eden's Gate's leader," Ramona inferred.

"Yeah. Joseph Seed. Some man-bunned, shirtless weirdo who convinced practically half of the fuckin' county that he's some sorta prophet," the bartender informed. "But he's not the only one you should worry about."

Ramona leaned closer to Mary May, bracing herself on the counter with her forearms. "Pray tell."

"Well the one you just met was John, the youngest brother," Mary May began. "He's the cult's recruitment lapdog and the reason they're able to 'get away' with alotta shady shit." She rubbed her forefinger and thumb together to indicate someone being in someone else's pockets. "Then you got the oldest brother, Jacob. You can't miss 'em. He's a redheaded biggun who's basically the muscle of the cult. And finally there's Faith. She ain't blood but she's just as creepy as the rest of 'em."

Ramona sensed the blonde wasn't quite telling her everything about Eden's Gate. If these people were doing "illegal shit," she wanted to know about it. But with the way Mary May's voice slightly trembled and her blue eyes kept shifting, it probably wasn't a topic she wanted to be pressed about.

"Either way just keep away from 'em. You don't wanna get involved."

"I'll do what I can. Though I doubt I could avoid John since I'm so 'fascinating' to him."

"Oh please, you're not the only woman who's rejected him. He'll find someone else to harass. Probably."

"And here I thought I was special."

Mary May snorted.

~~~

"I didn't think one woman could get you like this." John grunted at the comment as he laid out on the couch with his arm resting on his face. The one who made the comment was Jacob sitting across from him.

"I'm not 'like' anything. I just hate how fast those sinners can act when it comes to corrupting someone," John frets as he sits up.

"From what you described, I can tell she ain't the type to fall for your 'charms' so easily," Jacob inferred while crossing his arms. "Considering she'd rather hang around the redneck and the barmaid."

John grimaced at his brother's statement. "She was just so…vicious. Wouldn't even entertain the thought of hearing me out for even a second. She was gorgeous though."

"I'm sure she was." the redhead stated as he set his feet up on the coffee table. John glared at the action only for Jacob to ignore it. "But it shouldn't be your dick's decision who we add to our ranks. It's Joseph's decision."

"Speaking of which; isn't Joseph supposed to be here by now?"

The two brothers were waiting on Joseph at the Seed Ranch to give their weekly reports on their recent progress with their work within the Project and to have dinner later. John and Jacob were both sure that it was Faith making Joseph late. Before anything else could be said, the front doors opened alerting them to Joseph entering the Ranch with Faith following close behind. John and Jacob stood up to make their way to the foyer to properly welcome their leader. "Good afternoon, brothers," Joseph greeted fondly. "I have something truly important I want to share with you." The siblings moved to the dining room while John ordered one of the faithful who were stationed at a Ranch to make coffee for them.

As the siblings settled, Joseph let out a heavy sigh, bringing in the others undivided attention. "The Voice spoke to me the night before and has told me that a wayward soul would come to us seeking answers." He then turned to John. "I've heard you met someone today at The Spread Eagle. A woman with brown skin, long black hair, and a tattoo in the middle of her back?" The youngest Seed pondered to himself about how much Joseph knew of the incident; half hoping that all he knew was that they talked. If you could call what happened "talking." 

"Yes Joseph. A serpent and roses to be exact," John started as he sat up straighter. "My men made it known to me about a young woman coming into the county and I went to the bar to greet her. But it doesn't seem like she'd be seeking anything from us."

Joseph stiffened. "What do you mean?" The other siblings could feel the tension settling within the room. "Did something happen?"

"It was awful. She was so quick to be dismissive of our cause due to those sinners and---!" John faltered.

"Please John, calm yourself," Joseph soothed while still ridgid. "What are you trying to say?"

John took a breath. "All I'm saying is as it would please me to cleanse her, this woman's soul is probably too far gone due to the corruption of--."

Joseph held his hand up; silencing John's ramblings. The Prophet then stood up to look out the window. Hands behind his back and lets out a sigh. "Hey Joe, if you don't mind me asking," the eldest Seed spoke up, wanting to take his brother's coldness off of John. "Why did the 'Voice' deem this woman so damn important apart from the rest of the 'wayward souls' we took in before?" It was already known to Joseph that Jacob didn't believe in the higher power his brother answered to and he didn't expect him to. All Joseph asked from their protector was his loyalty.

Joseph turned back around to face his siblings. All waiting to hear his words. "The Voice has told me this woman would bring about a great upheaval to everything we've worked so hard on if she doesn't see the light and come join our family to help us guide our flock through the Gate into New Eden." A heavy weight was suddenly felt by the Heralds as their leader finished speaking. It usually wasn't so difficult for them to get people to join The Project. Unfortunate people with nowhere else to go were easy to attract when Eden's Gate advertised love and protection to any and everyone. The only price would be their unwavering devotion.

"And by 'upheaval' you mean…?" It was Faith's turn to speak up.

"The deaths of our faithful by the thousands, the destruction of our community, and the…downfall of our family," Joseph finished as he grasped Faith's shoulder warmly as if not to lose her to an unknown future. "So it's crucial we don't dawdle with this. Especially now."

The weight the Heralds felt earlier magnified after the Father's elaboration. "We won't disappoint you, Joseph," John impulsively exclaimed, feeling that last comment was directed at him. He hoped his enthusiasm would make up for his supposed transgression from earlier. He then looked to the other two, expecting them to follow along. They simply nodded. Joseph smiled in appreciation of their loyalty. "I'm sorry if I scared you, but I just needed you all to know how important it is for her to join our family," he explained while getting up to leave the room. The others stood up with him. "If there's nothing else to be discussed, I think I'll see how that garden John mentioned the other day is doing before we start dinner." Happy to get his brother out of the room, John gave a quick "of course" and signaled two of his faithful on standby to accompany their leader in the backyard.

Just as Joseph leaves the room, John exhales. "I'm glad that's over." It was unknown if the other two felt the same, but it was likely that the feeling wasn't mutual.

"So, how are we doin' this?" Jacob asked. "Like Joe said, we can't exactly wait around for her."

"She just needs more convincing," John assured, not letting on what that would entail.

"We can't hurt her or anything," Faith chimed in. "The Father wouldn't like that."

"I know!" he retorted, causing her to make an amused noise at his reaction. "We're just going to have to be smart about this."

We're? Jacob and Faith weren't usually included when it came to recruiting people for the Project, but they weren't going to question anything John was about to suggest. Especially since time was of the essence.

~~~

It looked exactly how it did in the pictures. One story, simple porch with a swing, huge front yard, a garage shed big enough for Rosa, and a field across the road. Ramona didn't know if she should be relieved to have finally made it to her new home or regretful for making such an impulsive decision. How was she going to manage a house like this? She knows it's already furnished, but there were other things she probably should've considered before coming here. A reliable food source, job security, clothing, and--!

"Hey, what's up? Thought I lost you for a second," Sharky exclaimed, waving his hand in front of Ramona's face and interrupting her frantic thoughts. She had forgotten that he was even here, which was kind of bad of her to do since if it wasn't for him, she would still be stuck on the side of the road. "Sorry Sharky. I was just taking it all in," Ramona explained while trying not to get put off by the blue eyes studying her face. "Thank you for doing this for me by the way. You probably had other things to do rather than help me." Sharky rubbed the back of his neck and grinned. "Nah it was nothin'. But to tell you the truth, I was supposed to meet up with my cousin Hurk…" He frowned as he checked his watch. "...two hours ago." Ramona noticed the negative shift in his tone of voice and decided she had taken enough of his time. Most of that time being used to get a new battery, driving back to Rosa to install it, and then following Sharky here.

"Then you should probably get going. You don't want to keep him waiting."

"It's alright. I can help with your bags."

"Do you wanna get out of here?" 

An unpleasant memory took hold just after Sharky made his offer. She turned her back. "No. You've done enough. Please leave."

Sharky exhaled noisily through his pursed lips and abruptly took a step backwards away from the woman's sudden coldness. For Ramona, it was already bad enough she had to show some guy she just met where she was going to be living, now he wanted to come inside? Alone with her? No way. "Alright. That's fine. I see where you're gettin' at. I'll go," Sharky complied, sounding dismayed. For a split second, Ramona wanted to turn around to say she had changed her mind. But when she actually did, he was already heading back to his truck. Accepting her missed chance, Ramona trudges on to Rosa to finally unload her. "Hey 'Mona!" She turned her attention to Sharky, who Ramona thought would've left already.

"Welcome to Hope County!" There was that crooked smile again.

And with that, Sharky takes off in his truck leaving Ramona confused about how this guy felt about her. It wasn't too much of a concern, but it was pretty weird for someone to shake off having the cold shoulder being directed at them. Oh well.

~~~

"Mrs. Belmont, I know you're upset, but I don't think we can classify this incident as anything more than a misunderstanding turning into a physical altercation." An older, timid man's voice is heard. "Happens all the time with students."

"Bullshit. This 'misunderstanding' scarred my baby's face because she didn't want some nasty boy putting his hands on her." Ramona then hears the outraged voice of her mother.

"The other student has already claimed in his statement that you're daughter fell after--"

"After he tried to rape her."

Ramona heard a huff of frustration next to her followed by a gentle hand rubbing her back after hearing her mother spit out the accusation. It was the soothing hand of Ramona's father who had let his wife handle the meeting.

"It's gonna be okay Rammy." After hearing her father's words, Ramona turned her head to see his reassuring face.

But she never gets to as Ramona's dream fades to white. She wakes up to an unfamiliar ceiling which gets her heart racing. Ramona shoots up from her laying position and frantically looks around her new home only to realize she fell asleep on the couch. Ramona puts her head in her hands to calm herself, feeling moisture on her palms. It's okay. Waking up to tears in her eyes after having that dream wasn't anything new for her.

You're okay. You're okay.

Ramona's legs wobbled a bit as she stood up to see one of her unpacked bags at her feet. She sighed to herself realizing all the work which still needed to be done. The woman looked at her phone to see that it was almost 10:30 pm, realized she'd napped for way too long, and decided all that would be "next day Ramona's" problem. It was time for bed anyway. Ramona did her usual nighttime hair routine, brushed her teeth, and changed into one of the sets of pajamas she'd brought. Ramona didn't think much of her new bedroom. It was simple and minimally decorated with the essentials. Basically a blank canvas setup for her to project herself on to make this house into a home. Her home. Ramona settled into bed and tried to ignore the slight musty smell the comforter gave off. Maybe she'll finish that dream.

~~~

It was the crack of dawn when Ramona was able to call her parents, letting them know she made it to Hope County okay. But that was after multiple "fine's", "alright's", and "okay's" in response to her mother's light scolding about not calling sooner and her father's repetitive questions about Rosa's condition. Even though she wasn't able to get a full sentence in, hearing her parent's voices soothed Ramona's nerves. Somehow during their conversation, her mother mentioned a letter left somewhere in the house for her to read. Ramona assured her she'd read it later.

The woman was now free to assess what she needed to do for today. The lingering smell of must and her stomach growling suggested her first two tasks of the day. Good thing she remembered the general store in Fall's End. As she combed out her hair, a loud, rapid knocking was heard, startling Ramona. Who could that be? No seriously. Who else knows she's living here besides Sharky? She doubts he'd come back after being on the receiving end of her iciness from yesterday but anything could happen. If it is him, Ramona would just take this as an opportunity to apologize. Something told her Sharky would accept it.

The knocking continued to Ramona's annoyance as she quickly threw on a hoodie while hurrying to the front door. The woman then frowned when she opened the door and saw it was actually John, holding a thick white book under his arm, who decided to drop by. Along with two other men, both wearing white uniforms, who were of course, glaring at her. "Good morning," John greeted, showing off that smile again.

"Uh…good morning to you too?" It was the only thing Ramona could say after believing she wouldn't see this man again anytime soon. "What brings you by?"

John gave out a light chuckle. "I didn't mean to disturb you so early, but I felt it was imperative for you and I to make amends after what happened yesterday," he informed while inching closer to her. "May I come in? I was hoping we could talk some more too." 

Ramona held out her hand; palm almost touching her visitor's chest. "You and I are good out here."

"PIease, I must insist. I want to make this right with you."

"And I must insist we're good out here." Ramona closes the door behind her and leans against it to make her point even clearer. "So let's talk."

Why are the men around here so eager to come into my home? John let out a soft sigh and clutched his book. "Alright. Have it your way then." He then signaled his men to step away from them so the two could have some privacy. The men nodded and obeyed without a second thought. "Now let me start off by saying I'm sorry for how…brash I was yesterday at the bar," John offered. "It was shameful of me to make such a bad first impression on you." Despite how obvious it was that John could have other intentions behind this, Ramona could at least hear some remorse in his voice. But she couldn't let her guard down just yet.

"Well John, I appreciate you coming to--."

John casually cuts her off. "I would also like to take this opportunity to properly introduce to you the key to your salvation." He cradled the white hardcover within his forearm, proudly presenting it to Ramona. "Without any distractions." It was titled The Word of Joseph.

There it is.

Ramona wasn't too enthused about having to listen to a possible cult member's spiel about her needing to be "saved." She's still not sure from what exactly. John had hastily mentioned the Collapse yesterday which sparked her curiosity. Ramona nodded, indicating to her guest that he could start. "Eden's Gate is a loving community for lost souls who have been wronged by the world and corrupted by sin," John commenced. "It is our job to cleanse those of their sins in order for them to enter through the Gate after the Collapse so that we can create a new world." Ramona crossed her arms after hearing what sounded like another one of those "it's the end times so give us your money" pitches televangelists like to use. "Is that what you think I am; a 'lost soul'?" Ramona questioned. "What makes you think this? We literally just met yesterday." John tucked the book back under his arm and straightened up the tacky looking jacket he was wearing; preparing for another pitch.

"My older brother Joseph, or The Father as he's lovingly referred to, has recently told my siblings and I you were meant to join our family," John informed, again stepping closer. "A wayward soul looking for a place in the world. Something we could provide for you."

Ramona put her hands on her hips. "Again, I ask. What makes you think that?" she asks, increasingly getting more annoyed.

"Impatient, aren't we?" he commented teasingly. "I saw you were a young woman traveling alone, willing to practically jump into the arms of anyone who looked your way. No matter how unsavory their true intentions were." John's tone darkens at the last part.

Ramona rolled her eyes at his claim. Yes, it was true she impulsively got into a car with a complete stranger, but she didn't have a choice. Plus Sharky respected her boundaries right off the bat when she established them. "I never 'jumped' into anyone's arms. I was offered help and I took it," Ramona retorted. Possibly a little too defensively. "Besides, it's none of your business I'm traveling alone." John took another step closer, causing her to step back. "Actually, we at Eden's Gate make it our business to keep those vulnerable enough from being dragged down into the trenches of sin," John states eerily, his blue gaze momentarily stunning the woman. "And Miss. Fairgrave was willing to do just that." Ramona's ears perked up when he mentioned Mary May.

"What does she have to do with anything?"

"Miss. Fairgrave and I had our…quarrels in the past."

"Quarrels? What happened?"

"She just couldn't accept her brother wanting to be with us. Obviously envious of the close bond he had with the rest of the congregation and tried so desperately to take that happiness away from him."

Ramona was silent; recounting how hateful Mary May was of Peggies and wondering if what John was saying was even true. Probably not.

John continued. "To cope with this, she and her lot spread lies about Eden's Gate to anyone who would believe them."

"Right…So the claim of you using money to get whatever Eden's Gate is doing around legal barriers is not true then?"

With the way John immediately frowned and glowered after the woman's probing question; it was obvious she made a mistake. "I don't mean any harm. I just need to know what--." Ramona's explanation was cut short as John abruptly strides forward to firmly thrust the book against her chest, causing her to be essentially trapped between her guest and the front door hard on her shoulder blades. Causing her to panic. "We do what is necessary to secure the future of Eden's Gate," John said harshly, increasing the pressure on Ramona's chest causing her. "Some may not agree with our methods, but I assure you, Miss. 'Bel-mawn', you will reconsider your ill-conceived notions about us if you take the time to listen." Along with being blindsided by John's sudden ambush, Ramona's blood ran cold when her last name, though mispronounced, fell from John's lips. She had never told him her name and had made it quite clear he didn't deserve to know yesterday. It was doubtful either Mary May or Sharky had told John; especially since she didn't even tell them her last name.

"Who told you my last name?" Ramona demanded, strained and on the verge of having a panic attack.

"This residence's previous owner," John complied. "Your uncle."

James! "How do you know him?" she pressed.

"I didn't personally know him. But a few years ago I paid him and his wife a visit to welcome them to the county and introduce them to Eden's Gate."

Ramona continued staring at him. "Go on."

"Well I couldn't really give a proper introduction due to him interrupting me with stories of his travels which ultimately lead him here. And his wife…spirited…shooed me out saying they weren't interested and they never will be," John reminisced bitterly. Possibly showing a bit of his true self.

Ramona had to fight to keep her face from cracking into a smile at the thought of James and Jackie giving John the runaround to avoid his proselytizing. She almost forgot her current situation. He continued. "But through all that nonsense, your uncle kept bringing up a certain someone. Someone I thought I'd never run into after all this time." John took a moment to caress a loose raven tress belonging to his captive before he got close to her ear.

"His favorite niece; Ramona Octavia Belmont," he chillingly whispered.

Ramona thought nothing of it when she gathered her strength and sent John tumbling backwards off the porch and onto the ground. Her personal space had been violated far enough. After hearing their superior's yelps of pain as he landed, the men rushed to John's aid.

"Brother John! Are you okay!?" one fretted.

"How dare you lay your filthy hands upon our Baptist!?" the other scolded.

"You're unworthy in receiving the Father's Word!" the first one accused.

Ramona remained on the porch, looking down at them heavily panting, only getting more pissed off. "Here, take it then!" the irate woman shouted while throwing John's "gift" near them. "Tell Joseph he's got the wrong woman 'cause I don't want the 'key to my salvation' if it means I have to deal with some creep who doesn't know the meaning of personal space!" Ramona would be lying if she didn't think seeing John flat on his ass in the dirt was amusing, but of course, in a moment of clarity, she realized this was the exact opposite of what she was advised to do. That clarity caused Ramona to almost immediately regret her actions when she realized she could be arrested for this. Even if John was the one who started it. The woman's heart started to pound as she braced for his reaction, but John just sat there hanging his head. Ramona thought about saying something to him but decided against it assuming she'd just make it worse for herself.

"You know Miss. Belmont. All of that…anger you harbor deep inside needs to be cleansed. Which I as your future Baptist will personally see to," John affirmed, ignoring the insult while sporting a wicked, chilling smile. Ramona felt a slight surge of nausea. "The Project has a place for you, especially someone of your profession. A social worker who gives counsel to those in need is someone who'd be perfect for us." Ramona just stood there unimpressed by his shallow praises and also wondering how much James had told this man about her. "If you're offering me a job, I'll have to decline," she dismissed while stepping a few paces forward. One of John's men quickly helped him up while the other scrambled to collect the sullied book from the dusty ground. Both looked hopeful to see him stand up against his assailant. John proceeded to casually dust himself off.

"Are you sure that is a wise decision to make? Financially managing a property of this size might be too much for one woman. Perhaps I could take it off your--," John began.

"No, that's not happening. Besides, it's already paid off," Ramona shot back, taking her turn to interrupt him for a change. "In fact, I have the documents to show for it."

"I bet you do," he responded sourly. "But you are sorely mistaken if you really think material possessions will help you during the Collapse."

"Then what will help, huh?" she challenged, hotly. "Tell me so you can leave already."

To Ramona's surprise, John didn't retort with a quick remark at her prodding. All the man did was signal to his men to hand him the book. The order is followed and John once again presents his gift to Ramona. "Perhaps I'm going about this the wrong way," he states. "I believe you should hear it from the Father himself. He's better at this." The way John said that made it obvious he was getting tired of her too. Ramona looks down at the book. "Huh? I thought I made myself clear I didn't want the--." John held his hand up. "I know. I'm telling you the Father is giving a sermon about the Collapse this Sunday and will be delighted to answer any questions you may have. The address is behind the front cover," he noted earnestly. "But if you choose not to come, will you at least take his Word? I won't bother anymore after today if you do." Ramona sighed and promptly took the book from him, doubting he'd even keep his promise.

"I'll at least think about it. But if I do come to the sermon, it won't mean I'm joining your cult."

"It's not a--! Of course. But every cynic I've met says that at first, but then sees the light after they hear--."

"I mean it! I'm only going for myself and for you to leave me alone."

"So you will be attending?"

"Get off my property!"

While slightly startled by Ramona's outburst, John kept his promise as he and his men made their way back to the white truck they came in. "Farewell Miss. Belmont, I hope to see you this Sunday," John bids. The woman didn't say anything back as she stormed back into her house and slammed the door behind her. Ramona let out a short cry of frustration when she angrily threw the book a few feet away from herself, causing a harsh, loud thud on the wooden floor kicking dust up. She pressed her back against the front door and slid down to the floor when her legs felt weak. Reeling from the ordeal, dizziness and a rapid heart rate from earlier took hold while a ringing noise resonated within her head. Ramona started to feel hot and short of breath, so she clumsily removed her hoodie for supposed relief. But it wasn't enough. The pounding in her chest causes her to curl up on the floor, trembling and hyperventilating. The combinations of these symptoms were all too familiar to Ramona as a quick memory of her alone in her college dorm in the same position flashed in her mind. Despite the pains in her chest and nausea, Ramona forces herself to sit up halfway to regain control.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. He can't hurt you. You are safe now. As Ramona inhaled and exhaled, she thought back to all the times she had to do this exercise to get through the first part of freshman year. She hoped these episodes won't be a common occurrence since Ramona wanted a fresh start, but achieving that seemed impossible now. Although Ramona had told John "no" to joining Eden's Gate and denied their "prophecy," she still made it known her interest was piqued; so it was likely they would still try to convince her. The dulling ache in her chest and decreasing heart rate allowed Ramona to sit up fully and the softening buzzing in her ear and her body stabilizing enabled her to think clearly. Ramona decided it would probably be best to listen to Mary May's advice more carefully and avoid them as much as possible--starting now.

~~~

Finding the way back to Fall's End wasn't difficult. A few left turns and then a left was easy for Ramona to remember which is going to be important since the general store might be her only source for food and other essentials she'll need in the future. After finding an appropriate parking place for Rosa, the woman made her way into the store. She made note of the small size and the Americana decor; hoping the store owner's patriotism was just an aesthetic. To Ramona's surprise, she didn't draw any attention to herself like yesterday. She figured dressing in Hope County-appropriate attire she found in the closet would do that. Thanks Auntie. As Ramona proceeded to fulfill her shopping list of necessities, she overheard two people, a man and a woman dressed in hunting gear, talking a few feet away. Curiosity got the better of her.

"Do you really think we can keep living like this?" the woman asked, sounding stressed. "I don't think I can take any more of this."

"Would you rather we'd live like brainwashed zombies?" the man asked her in turn, using a tone Ramona didn't like. "Our bunker is the only safe place from them taking over."

"I got that. But stocking that bunker is making you and others paranoid about something that may not happen."

"We know what we're doing. You think those Seed-fuckers made their people tote around those guns just for show? We're just looking out for ourselves since the cops aren't doing anything."

Ramona didn't hear the woman's response when she left the aisle and moved on to the dairy section so she wouldn't get caught being nosey. Brainwashing? Guns? This new information about Eden's Gate made Ramona realize it probably had to do with the "illegal shit" Mary May hinted at. Despite not wanting to probe her anymore about uncomfortable topics, Ramona would've appreciated the heads up about a confirmed violent cult who now had their eyes on her. Now she's definitely sure John won't leave her alone and most likely lying about what really happened between him and Mary May.

Back to the task at hand. Ramona reached up to grab vanilla coffee creamer from the top shelf only for her nails to barely brush against it. She internally cursed her height and whoever made this refrigerator. Not wanting to completely give up, she tried again, but failed again when another hand easily grabbed it instead. The owner of the hand was a tall, curvy woman with long dark, curly hair and dark brown eyes which were warm and inviting. She was very pretty.

"Here you go," the woman offered. "This was what you wanted, right?" She was referring to the creamer.

"Yeah it was. Thank you." Ramona acknowledged while accepting the small carton.

"A word of advice. If you're going to be listening to other people's conversations; you should at least do it from somewhere they wouldn't see you," the woman suggested bluntly and flickered her eyes to the side.

Ramona's stomach dropped when she quickly turned her head to see the aforementioned couple, now scowling, rip their gaze away from the two women and shuffled off.

"I'm just telling you from experience."

Ramona couldn't help but feel slightly ashamed of herself. She swore off anything Eden's Gate related, but her curiosity about them kept piquing even though every new piece of information about them just kept getting worse. But then again, any knowledge about the cult would keep Ramona from being ignorant of anything that would pose them as a threat to her. Even if it wasn't coming from a direct source. Anything to not talk to the Seeds again. "Sorry for asking but, do you know anything about Eden's Gate?" she asked, "Also my name is Ramona." The woman pursed her plush lips and loosely crossed her arms under her chest. "Deirdre. I'm a vet at the F.A.N.G. Center in the mountains. I've been living here with my husband and his family for about 10 years, so I...uh….know enough," she divulged tentatively. "They're a doomsday cult preparing for the Collapse. An apocalyptic event." Ramona figured that much on her own. But it was way better than the common "stay away from them" she kept hearing.

"Is there any real way to get them off my back for good?"

"Nope. Since you just moved here, Eden's Gate is not going to leave you alone anytime soon. They love new people."

"Wait, how do you know I just moved here?"

Deirdre frowned and averted her eyes.

"Hey Dee, what's takin' you so long?" Ramona inhaled sharply when she saw the owner of the rough, male voice appear from behind the row of shelves beside them. "Oh. You made a friend." A tall, scarred man with red hair went to stand beside Deirdre, putting his large hand on her shoulder. Combined with Mary May's description and the J. Seed stitched on the sleeve of his camo jacket; she concluded this was Jacob Seed. Ramona made a quick glance at Deirdre. She was still avoiding eye contact. Ramona put two and two together and it all made sense. John probably told Jacob about what happened and probably wanted to take a crack at recruiting the "lost soul". Not to risk straining her neck anymore, Ramona backed up a bit to accommodate her intake of Jacob’s imposing stature. Which wasn’t a bad sight. She definitely didn't lie about the "biggun" and "muscle" part. 

"I thought you were waiting outside," Deirdre pointed out crossly.

"I was. But you were takin' too long and folks were givin' me the stink eye. 'Specially that idiot pilot." Jacob stated. He then pointed his gaze at Ramona. "So you're the woman my brother's been talkin' about?"

She sighs. "Yeah. Why? Is it your turn to harass me?" Ramona retorted, suddenly becoming bold. "One of you was bad enough today."

"Heh no. After what happened between you and Johnny, I don't think I wanna tangle with you," he teased. "'Sides, I don't do the door to door shit."

"Then what do you do?"

"All you need to know at the moment is that I keep the congregation safe. And in line."

Remembering the mention of guns earlier, Ramona had a pretty good guess about what that could mean. It wasn't something she wanted to discuss further with him and was grateful he didn't take it upon himself to do so. She looked at Deirdre. She wondered how deep her involvement with Eden's Gate went. If it was beyond being married to one of the brothers. Telling from her tone, Deirdre also didn't seem too interested in discussing anything. Which was also fine. But she could help but be worried. Black women and religious cults run by white men have never been a good match. "I should probably finish up and pay for these," Ramona spoke up, sensing an opportunity to leave. "It was nice talking to you." Deirdre perked up. "I can pay for your groceries if you want," she suggested. "Y'know for your troubles." Jacob made a disapproving face which Deirdre ignored. Ramona thought about what happened between her and John and decided this should make up for it. She accepted the offer.

~~~

"These people act like we're the scum of the earth, but they'll still take our money," Jacob commented, sounding amused. He was referring to the store clerk who gave the group a dirty look while processing the payment. The three were currently outside the general store and Ramona was about to see the couple off. "I guess dressin' up your store like the Fourth of July was really just for show." Deirdre rolled her eyes and saw that Ramona was confused. "The locals here put up American flag stuff to show they're against Eden's Gate," she clarified. "It started happening after the congregation grew." Ramona could tell that wasn't entirely true.

"Hey Dee. How 'bout you wait in the truck while I talk to our friend here before we leave." Deirdre looked between her husband and Ramona and sighed. "Alright." The eldest Seed was mincing his words earlier about his role within Eden's Gate, so what would he possibly want to talk about now. And without his wife present at that. After Deirdre settles herself within the passenger seat of their truck; Jacob leaned his back against it, facing Ramona while crossing his arms.

"While I do think Johnny probably deserved what you did to him this morning, you gotta be smart about who you push away and who you align yourself with."

"What are you talking about? I thought you weren't going to--!"

"Down kitten. I'm just tellin' you this for your own good. Apparently Joe sees somethin' in you and he's usually right."

"Well he's wrong. And Like I told your brother, I'm not meant to join your cult and you can't convince me otherwise!"

"You say that now, but when the time comes, you'll make the right choice."

"Don't count on it."

Despite her stomach twisting in knots, Ramona immediately strode off from Jacob to where Rosa was parked, hearing the couple's truck drive off behind her. She knew people who were involved with cults were self-righteous, but having someone declare what's "good" for her for the second time today was just infuriating. Also frightening. The woman was surprised that Jacob's familiar, intense blue glare and ominous tone he used while practically threatening her didn't put her in another state of panic. Ramona guessed one was enough for today.

Head buzzing with rushing, irritating thoughts, Ramona hastily loaded her car, just eager to get back home. "You okay, Miss?" The woman popped up her head to the sound of another male voice. She saw a man wearing aviators and a shirt with a logo that read Rye & Sons Aviation parked next to her. Aviation? Was this the "idiot" pilot? "That Seed bastard was botherin' you, right?" Ramona let out a sigh and closed the passenger door. She wasn't mad at him or anything; strangers coming up to talk to her when she wasn't in the mood was getting exhausting.

"Unfortunately. Even though this is only my second day here, Eden's Gate has already decided I'm meant to be with them. Whatever that means."

The man furled his lip and shook his head. "That's how they get you," the man started, a rant seemingly brewing. "Damn Peggies make you feel all 'special' when all they really wanted was your plane."

Ramona blinked. "Plane? I don't have a plane?"

"Ah shit! I'm sorry! Got carried away and started talkin' 'bout myself." The man held out his hand. "I'm Nick Rye of Rye and Son's Aviation. I was talkin' 'bout my plane, Carmina."

Ramona, slightly amused at the confusion, shook Nick's hand. 

"I heard from Mary May you've already met John. That fucker's been tryin' to get my plane for years after actin' all buddy-buddy and shit with me at first. Them Peggies been harassin' my family so bad my wife Kim, who's smaller than you, had to punch one of 'em. Died down a bit after that and she didn't get in trouble for it."

"I'm sorry you were going through that. Eden's Gate might want my house, but other than that it's just 'me' they want so badly. I don't know what to do."

"Well if I were you, I'd go up to Joseph after one of their sermons and show 'em you mean business."

Ramona didn't quite know what Nick meant, but if it was relating to what his wife did, she's quite sure she won't get away with that. Taking that part out, going straight to the source of her problems seems like something she could work with. Ramona could go to the sermon and hopefully get Joseph to have his brothers to lay off and rethink this whole "prophecy" about her. Of course Ramona would have to figure out the details of this plan so it can be somewhat sound. "Thank you Nick. I'll put some thought into your suggestion." The pilot did a slight smile, noticing a change in her voice from earlier. "Well alright then! Maybe you can come by and I'll give you some flyin' lessons. Carmina's the big yellow one." She froze a bit. "I-I'll think about that too." His smile got bigger. "Great!"

Ramona didn't have the heart to tell Nick she was afraid of heights.

#far cry 5 #fc5 #farcry 5 #far cry 5 fanfiction #far cry 5 fanfic #fic: a stranger's sacrifice #serpent fics #oc: ramona belmont #sharky boshaw #x: we've touched on sorrowful days #sharky boshaw x oc #canon x oc #oc x canon #oc: deirdre monroe #x: the snowball effect #mary may fairgrave #nick rye #joseph seed #john seed #jacob seed #faith seed #strangers to lovers #friends to lovers #fc5 fanfiction #fc5 fanfic #chapter 4

[ofcowardiceandkings]

so i dont have covid i just have unhinged turbo reverse side-effects from the Not Having My Sensible Person Drugs

i also didnt go to work because after i had a panic attack right after waking up i proceeded to bang my everything every 4 seconds, so yknow, not to be trusted on a construction site

#im ............... thriving ... in a gremlin way #rory's ramblings

[coyotevallie]

elaborating on the jedidiah turbo (2013) lore i think he watched it baked out of his mind w sydney and had the single worst panic attack of his life pondering if this could happen irl (it cant) sitting there like this

#camp here and there #jedidiah martin #a visual i had . needed to share

[theburgessobserver]

Burgess Observer 4!(Jacks towns newspaper)

+Vermtech advert

Local News

CROP SNOWFLAKES?!?!?!

Early this morning a sports plane flying overhead of one of our Cornfields noted strange pattern in one cornfield that it looked like a star though on the second observation conducted by an military jet noted that it looked more like a snowflake…the cause is unknown though its assumed maybe it was done by pranksters as a joke,there is no evidence and the fact it was a rather large crop formation done quite intricate some have assumed maybe it was a UFO…after all many crop formations are linked with Flying Saucers…thought the mystery is still on…

For the Birds!

Local Birdwatchers club go out on a field trip to their tower deep in the forest for their seasonal observations.

World News

Monster-sized hoax!

The 350 Foot sized grub that was said to be the worst thing to hit Tokyo since Goodzilla is FAKE!!!!Yes after the panic and fear during its alleged attack it was revealed quite some time later by General Warren M. and his military force which was at the scene and investigated sayed that the destruction was caused by an earthquake and possibly the illusion of the monster was caused by a natural phenomenon which made them see things that weren't there which was caused by a Chemical fumes release from a warehouse during the earthquake explaining to the witnesses.

Marineville is go!

Marineville is a completely self-contained town built as a Base for WASP

Linked to the Pacific by a ten-mile-long tunnel, Marineville provides maintenance and launch facilities for the WASP's fleet of submarine craft, including its newest and most effective vessel, Stingray.

The purpose of WASP is to explore and research the depths of the ocean using Marineville as its base.

Adverts

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Here on Vermtechs spacious campus we will also learn the state-of-the art critter captivating!Like the Van(Does not actually fly)to the Turbo Pelter!!!

Turbo Scalper illegal to use in every state except Texas

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Verm-tech licensed certificate is neither license nor certificate and is intended to be used for amusement purposes only.

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WILL YOU SIGN UP TO VERM-TECH?PLEASE DO TELL!

And who caused the Snowflake Formtation?(Wrong answears only)

Also remeber that a comment will make the author much happier,and make the world a slightly better place. And Commenting,Following and favoriting me and my works will inspire me to do more!And i will always listen to your questions and suggestions.

Thank you and until next time....

ALSO ON MARCH 27TH I WILL TELL OF THE GUARDIANS BIGGEST THREAT,ONE WHICH THEY WONT FIGHT ALONE...ONE THAT I HAVE BEEN BUILDING UP TO IN MY OTHER WORKS!!!!(Prologue March 26th)

Things defying the laws of nature(Then again we have bunnymund so i guess it wont be that odd)

Something Strange is heading this way...

#dreamworks #rise of the guardians #rotg #jackson overland frost #rotg jack frost #over the hedge #verminator #monsters vs aliens #godzilla #godzila #stingray #the birds

[mousegirlheart]

girl thats like, 4 espessos, your fucking colon

its fine caffeine does not do that to me.

it does however, send my mind into Hell Turbo mode and make me have the worlds quietest panic attack in the middle of a library :))))))

#i have made #an error

[1-up-chump]

Can people stop writing fics about miguel o'hara's turbo sex life and start writing him like having a panic attack over trying to make a date but one small mistake makes him spiral and reader has to calm him down? Or vice versa?

I don't wanna be the one to have to write bc i have never written anything ever i dont know words they dont exist to me

#rant

[ssaalexblake]

Soap opera: picard ep 3

You know that moment? That moment where picard and beverly are standing in silence for a few beats too long to be comfortable across the room from each other (nice intentional usage of wide screen format, btw) and they didn’t score it so it really Was an uncomfortable silence? Half way through that silence? That’s where they should have played the eastenders theme (it is the most prolific and well known british soap opera). 

any of y’all who can vid??? bc that’d be iconic

anyway, the episode mvp’s were Sidney LaForge, Seven, Worf and Raffi. I love you all. 

Worf recently swallowed a self help book and i am Living for it. 

the good cop bad cop they had going on here was Impeccable. It is unfortunate that is perfectly juxtaposed the hyped up melodrama of the other part of this episode and made it look even worse by proxy. There was drama with these two, raffi’s a mess, the situation is dire (if not as immediate), but it was still personable and not over the top. There were even laughs! 

Like i get that they’re all stressed but you know that episode of snw when they’re first attacked by the gorn in that nebula? How good that was? How tense it was? How they didn’t rely on interpersonal melodrama with people being obtuse to manufacture excess drama because they realised it wasn’t needed with an already dire situation?

yeah. 

anyway i saw some comments @ the holo scene with Troi before i saw the ep and i was worried but it wasn’t half as bad as implied. I mean, that’s such a typical dudebro scene and my eyes are rolling so Hard but there was no sign deanna was in danger at any point in the birth. The baby can be in danger without the parent being in danger. Like, slower heartrate in utero can make doctors panic while the parent is still 100% healthy. Seems to me like they didn’t like the baby’s vitals so called Will but it turned out he was fine. (my niece did this. panicked a fair number of people for an 100% healthy baby.) 

i’m not even going to go Into the whole justification stuff here other than to say that if she was gonna do that, just have the decency to own it properly instead of whatever that was. If he forgives her in the course of this season I call bullshit. Nobody has that done to them and gets over it quickly, not after so much was lost that will never be recovered. If i liked either of them a lot, and if i shipped them properly, i’d be distraught over this turn of events. And before i get some smart ass saying she didn’t have to tell him, well Clearly she didn’t bc she’s not exactly under arrest right now, but everybody else has a right to think what they want of her for what she Did do. And it was objectively shitty to him. I don’t even like the dude and it grinds my gears. 

'you’re insane’ with seven @ jack after that punch dfjffdjfdkdkd the Line delivery here. That seven and jack get on makes total sense! no notes. 

 will gets points for lasting so long before telling picard to sod off, BUt, is it captain of the titan disease to not own up to your own orders??? first shaw and now will??? sure Picard was being an irritant but damn dude he who ordered it dealt it and he didn’t wrest command from you. 

Unless u meant what happened in the Last episode and not this once, which, fair, but instead i call bad writing bc you instinctually look for what they Just did and picard was actually right in that if they can’t run they have to fight back at that point, which is the Only reason Will actually did fight back, so yeah... 

if the entire resuscitation sequence starting from the turbo lift did not last exactly seventeen seconds i will ask them why they even bothered tbh 

the changeling special effects have certainly improved

tho i sense i will rue the day i never got past the halfway mark of s1 of ds9 

beheading day is on wednesday

worf i love you. You’re a much better intelligence officer than a lawyer. Yeah i rewatched the movie this week in ode to the Plummer family. 

if we see seven with a hair out of place next week we know she’s been copied. I figure that this point she has mess resistant hair. 

will telling jack to call him captain lollllllllllllllllllllllllll 

the portal warfare??? super cool!!!! 

i was both amused by Shaw noping out of captaincy and also irritated by it. Like i get it dude, but still... I suppose i forgive him for being potentially fatally injured. The man is a class A jerk in a situation where he’s not actually in the wrong and that always grinds the gears. 

hearing seven call herself commander hansen in a rote way was weirdly upsetting. 

but really. The drama of interpersonal relationships Added onto the drama of the plot was too much. The tension between picard and beverly. the tension between picard and jack. the tension between riker and picard. The tension between beverly and the medical staff. the crew side eyeing jack. too much. Tone it down. they’re all already injured, being hunted, AND you have a changeling sabotaging you. Too much at once. 

now my ideal seven and raffi spin off involves worf being on the cast as well. Before it was the two of them and Elnor and his pet cat. Maybe Miral Paris. If we can have a baby LaForge we can have her. 

honestly i would have had way less notes for this ep if the snw one similar to it wasn’t so recent and so much better lol

anyway, i hope next week’s one won’t be as.. much... as this. 

#that picard one #picard spoilers

[enter-the-performapals]

For my Original Characters 8th anniversary and Caelum's birthday this year, ive decided to redesign my main OCs as YGO characters!

When I watched Arc-V for the first time, I of course had to relate it to my OCs (becuae I do that with everything lol) but also because Ayumu's nickname is Literally Yuzu and Luciano's nickname is LuLu and my tiny little brain was like "omg! Jus like my babies!" For reference I created Caelum, Luciano and Ayumu (in that order) when I was 15, Fiore a little later at 17, and I watched Arc-V when I was 18 and I am 23 now.

Basically, these guy's stories would happen during the events of Arc-V. All the characters here are also a little older at 16. As I know very little about the card game itself I haven't given them decks but I may create archetypes when I've watched more than Arc-V and GX.

I will also note that I'll probably draw these guys again because I love them lol

Just a trigger warning as well: there's a bit of graphic violence in these descriptions, so just look at the pretty picture of them if that bothers you :)

Ayumu

An absolute goblin who loves to analyse duel monsters matches but doesn't actually play himself

Basically a hikikomori who spends his days on duel monsters Wikipedias and complains on forums about the current meta

When he learns about pendulum he's absolutely fascinated and avidly watches Yuya's matches in the Maiami cup

When the Battle Royale in Maiami city is announced and that there will be pendulum cards up for the participants he goes nuts

He actually ventures out of his house in months to pinch some pendulum cards from the restricted zones of Maiami

Mainly to say to forum shitposters that hes gonna break the game with his own pedulums

He has a really basic starter deck with him just in case he encounters one of the contestants but he'd eventually get a different deck

Finally sneaks into one of the zones while the Obelisk Force attack is happening and finds a couple of pedulum cards

Before accidentally running into Luciano, another character I'll mention later

After a scuffle between the two, Lucio panics and teleports out of Standard and Ayumu is also accidentally teleported-ending up in Synchro

Caelum

As you can probably tell, he is very much a commons

Has a very Fuck Cops Eat the Rich attitude and is very pro revolution

Also die hard Jack Atlas and Turbo Duel fan lol

Hobbies include: Stealing from the Tops, Invading their spaces, being a generally nuisance to anyone who doesn't live in the Satellite

Also always happy to help in any relief efforts as he can't go past anyone who's struggling

Met Ayumu after a mix up in a Tops only area when Security mistook him for a commons and he just had to rescue him

Immediately became fast friends with him and helped build a better deck

Mainly because they're both Duel Monsters geeks, but Cae has very little knowledge while Ayumu has very little experience

The both of them snuck into the stadium where the friendship cup was taking place and watched from the sidelines

And that's about it for what I'm developed for them lol

Luciano

Just very quickly: in the original cannon for my OCs, Lucio is Italian so his name is pronounced Lew-cho or Lew-cha-noe not Loo-see-oe

And from here on out I'll be calling him by his nickname, Lucio

Lucio is an Duel Academia student (quite obviously) who, before and during the genocide on Xyz was an Osiris/Slifer Red

While he was a good student, good enough to easily be Obelisk Blue, he was very disrespectful and horribly obstinate

Basically forced himself into being a soldier in the war effort no matter what anyone said

Was terribly violent with his duels, and eventually murdered someone

When this was found out, he was extradited back to Academia to stand on trial for basically robbing the Arc V of power

He was put on a probation of sorts and told if he made one more wrong move he'd be kicked from Duel Academia all together which sent him into a spiralling panic

After the trial, he was approached by Joeri who chastised him and smugly told him to get his act together

After restraining himself from attacking Joeri and calming down he was left absolutely despising the younger kid and desperate to upstage him

Through Espionage ™ he found out the very basics of the Revival Zero project and that Leo Akaba was seeking the components of Ray and decided that this was his chance

Also learned of Obelisk Force's plans to storm Standard and decided that that was his chance

Stole an Obelisk Force Uniform, teleported to Standard and went on the hunt for our fav citrus girl

Alecksi

Absolutely loved his life in Heartland City before the genocide

Had a practically identical twin sister, Alessia- also known as Fiorella (little flower in Italian)

Wasn't really big into Duel Monsters, but supported his sister, who wanted to be a pro duelist

When Academia hit them, they weren't expecting it

They survived a while, but never ended up running into the Resistance nor any relief efforts for the displaced people of Heartland, staying mostly on the outskirts of the distressed city

Eventually they were caught by Academia students and chased into the inner part of the city

Eventually cornered by Lucio who challenged Fiorella to a duel

Even though she fought as well as she could, the two of them were both half starved to death and practically on their last legs for spending such a long time out of the city in an active war zone

After defeating her, he went overboard and ended up brutally murdering her and gouging out Alecksi's eye instead of turning them into cards

After Alessia dies in his arms, she gave him her deck and her necklace to remember her by

He takes them and swears revenge

Practically bleeding to death, Alecksi faints and eventually wakes up in a shelter, saved by Sayaka and Allen

He takes a long time to recover (as best he can) from his injury and his malnutrition

While healing, he learns as much as he can about duel monsters from The Resistance

Keep what happened to himself, but sympathizes with Syun

After he's healed to the best he can be, he flees the shelter and goes on the hunt for Lucio

And that's all I've got for now. Ill definitely do a bit more art of Cae in this AU for a belated birthday present, but let me know if you'd like to see/read more of these guys, as they're really close to my heart :)

#i havent drawn them is so long #its so nice to draw these guys again after my style change #original characters #yugioh arc v #original art #yugioh #reference #doodle

[titleknown]

wish I didn't have to be the one saying this but it looks like headspace-hotel has gone full-on "ao3 is the last free speech place, kids these days are puriteens, stop being so sensitive" headspace-hotel/702205077915615232/minors-ao3-is-disgusting-adults-okay-then

...I will say, I hope this doesn't come off as mealy-mouthed apologia, but since that post made me think of it now is as good a time as ever to talk about the ways in which people boost fucked up shit with stuff they agree with.

Cause, the thing is, people on this site reblog a lot of fucked up shit to get to the good points (Or what they percieve as such), but inadvertently spread the fucked up shit.

Like, I see this a lot in my pet issue, where people I otherwise like and respect boost the shitty "fandom bad" stuff that I think has its own horrifying underlying view/ideas (Tho that's its own post) because it addresses their feelings about... well, what I'd call the Funko-ization of culture/the Fandom-Industrial-Complex, but that definition is also for its own post.

I usually avoid confronting them on it even as I have flat-out panic attacks due to them, because A)...I am terrified of being perceived as an invasive creep over that, but more relevantly B) I have no idea what they reblogged it about and whether it was in good faith.

Like, apocalypticromantic666's response was the... turbo-unhinged and horrible "Children who engage in self-advocacy are ungrateful little brats who shouldn't talk back at their elders" part. I'll probably explain why in a reblog of this, because that would double the length of this already-bloated post.

But @headspace-hotel wasn't directly talking about that part of the post, she was responding to a later post about a kind of Guy that popped in.

Which, given in the context and what I know of her, I have no idea whether or not she agrees with the horrid parts, and that's the thing that brought this up in my mind. that's kinda a big flaw with how Tumblr handles conversation.

I have no idea how to handle it in good faith, but if I discuss this with headspace-hotel (Which I invite her to do, hence why I @-ed her) it would be privately and politely because...

...yeah, apocalypticromantic666's part of that post was indeed a horrifying moment of Roald-Dahl-villain-esque hatred for minors in a way that deeply disturbs me, but I have no idea whether headspace-hotel was endorsing that part when she did, and that also disturbs me on a different level...

#The Discourse #rambling