#tumblr will always frustrate me because of the reblog like ratio even when i beg on my knees people to reblog my stuff if they like it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boy-above · 3 years

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I get your thing about your passion for art dying out because of insufficient feedback, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve lost my love for painting I’d have four nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened four times. Seriously though, I feel like in my experience it has been an idea that I’ve gotten only from publicising my art. At some point when you put yourself out there, you begin to expect something in return for your hard work and vulnerability, but a lot of the time you get nothing, which makes you believe your artwork is not worth anything. This is obviously not true because any creation is worthy of praise and support because it was MADE, but the thoughts are still swimming around. When you set those social expectations on yourself to succeed, you lose the point of why you ever started in the first place. You are literally 23 years old. Very few artists ever get recognition in their early twenties, and if they do it’s because of luck. Even if this art thing doesn’t work out for you, you’ll be okay. You have so much time to learn and grow and understand new things, and there are so many different ways to make yourself better as you go along. I think you need to keep drawing, even if you don’t want to. You need to find why it was you loved it in the first place and go back to doing THAT, even if it means making art that you can’t post or show to others - it needs to be for you. And if you can’t get back into it, take a step back and try again. Or try something new. Or eat something and try again. It’s clear through your art that you love doing it, and I’m sorry that love has seemed to dwindle, but I promise you’ll be okay, and you aren’t going to disappoint anyone if you decide to quit. You aren’t worthless without your art.

i mean that's the thing though, i don't really know if i even like art. i haven't enjoyed doing it since i was like, 14. it's not something that happened recently, i've been disillusioned with it for a long time. i Have been doing art even when i don't want to, for a Very long time actually. almost a decade. i know my art isn't worthless, that's not really the problem. my problem is how the landscape surrounding creators has changed over the years. i was around on tumblr back when the like to reblog ratio was actually even and people reblogged art, commented on it, and yknow, appreciated it?? art takes hours, days, weeks to create and only seconds to consume. and because social media makes it so easy to consume constantly, i feel like people just don't think about the work that's put into it anymore, a lot of non-creators kind of just take fanart of their favorite characters for granted, and artists are always looked down upon for pointing it out but people don't feel the need to support us anymore and its ruining a lot of us. reblogging our commission posts takes seconds but a lot of people just don't do it.

i feel like you're kind of misunderstanding my situation a little, because i've Had support on my art before, i used to be a popular fanartist and my art could get as much as 5000 notes. people reblogged it, commented on it, said nice things in the tags, were even intimidated by me. the wildest thing that would happen actually semi frequently was that people would actually be excited when i followed them and would screenshot it and stuff. like i Had support on my art, i know what it feels like to have it, i just lost it because people forget about you once you're not pumping out artwork that caters to their specific interests anymore.

i'm very aware that the quality of your work doesn't impact how popular you are bc back when i was popular, my art was obviously worse than it is now, and even Farther back, when i was a wee lad, i was a popular total drama island fanartist as well (dont @ little me for being cringe) and obviously at 12 years old my art was TERRIBLE but i was popular back then too, because i got lucky. that's something i always want to tell new artists, working hard and improving your art isn't necessarily going to make people like it and support you, it's about luck, and even if you Do get lucky, you can lose it just as quickly, just like i did.

i know you're trying to be nice and supportive and for the most part i appreciate it but the "you're literally 23 years old" part did kind of hit a nerve with me lol, cause it feels like i'm being talked down to. i know that's not what you intended but i figured i'd be honest about it. i also wanna make sure you're understanding my situation on the matter of my commissions as well, i'm not like trying to do art for a living or anything, ive never intended to because that sounds like a nightmare. so i'm not like waiting to be discovered or something. it's just right now it's my only source of income because my life is a nightmare, and for the last couple years most of what i've been doing is commissions, people have still been buying from me even while i've been doing hardly any fanart or personal work anymore. i was just venting bc doing commissions actually Gave me a reason to keep drawing, and of course having money to buy goods and services™️ is a pretty big deal to me too. i'm just very frustrated because i have to beg people to do the bare minimum to try to help me and almost nobody does. ive lost all those fans who actually cared about me yknow. i'm just sad about it. it's easy to feel really small and like nobody in the world cares about me. i know a lot of people feel that way in the world but it shouldn't be a normal feeling. it's not something people deserve to feel. it's just like, even if people don't reblog my art anymore, buy it anymore, whatever. i don't care anymore. it's just hard to see people ignoring the only important post i reblog. call me entitled, i don't mind. but i'm gonna be honest. it makes me upset. it makes me feel mad sometimes even.

#ask the marshmallow #anonymous

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