#tumblr please i beg you don't make this awful

[whysamwhy123]

So, I started writing a dumb crackfic about a bunch of my blorbos attempting to hit on my newest blorbo because it was funny in my head buuuuut turns out I'm not funny enough to bring it to life so I probably ain't gonna finish it. But I don't wanna feel like I completely wasted my time, so I'm just gonna drop the unfinished thing here because I can't seem to make myself continue it. It's a shame because I feel like it would have gotten a little better/funnier after I got the set-up out of the way, I had plans for where this would go, but alas, my brain has failed me yet again. And whatever, this most likely appeals to absolutely no one anyway, so here it is, read at your own risk because it sucks!

Jack was minding his own business before the show, wandering the halls while dicking around his phone, when he spotted Hook, just standing there.

‘’Hey man, what’s up?’’ he said, leaning against the nearest wall, still looking at his phone.

When no response came, Jack looked up. Hook was still as a statue, his eyes focused forward. Did he not hear him?

‘’Hello? Hook?’’

Jack got closer and slowly turned his head in the direction Hook was staring. ‘’What are you looki - whoa!’’

Jack almost dropped his phone when he first caught a glimpse of her. No wonder Hook was staring - she had to be the most beautiful woman he’d ever soon. She was fucking gorgeous. The kind of woman that’s so beautiful it feels like she shouldn’t be allowed to exist. Or that you shouldn’t be allowed to look at her, how dare you think yourself worthy! But she was real and she was right there all the way over on the other side of the hallway. She seemed to be checking how she looked in her phone’s camera, adjusting her long blonde hair and examining her makeup as though it wasn’t already perfect. She was perfect. She was wearing this all red ensemble that showed off just how killer her body was. And she was tall too. Long legs.

Jack’s mouth was agape. He knew it wasn’t polite to stare but how could he not?

‘’Jack, buddy,’’ Hook said, not taking his eyes off the beauty across the hall. ‘’I’ve found my next conquest.’’

Jack couldn’t take his eyes off her either. Who could blame them? ‘’Who is that?’’

Hook somehow managed to tear his eyes away from the vision they’ve been blessed to look upon and turned his head to Jack instead. ‘’My next conquest. Weren’t you listening?’’

Jack forced himself to look away - any longer and he was about to start drooling. ‘’No, who is she? What’s her name? I’ve gotta know.’’

‘’You seriously don’t know who she is?’’

The two men whirled around to find Daniel Garcia right next to them.

‘’How long have you been there?’’ Hook asked.

Daniel waved him off, a whatever gesture and then nodded his head in the direction of the unbelievably gorgeous woman. ‘’That’s Mariah May!’’

Hook and Jack blinked at him.

‘’From Stardom?’’

More blinking.

‘’Club Venus? Rose Gold?’’

‘’You’re just saying words at us, man,’’ Hook said.

Daniel gave them a judgemental look. ‘’You guys don’t watch Stardom? For real? Do you not watch any joshi wrestling at all?’’

Jack scratched the back of his neck. Hook gave a half-hearted shrug.

Daniel shook his head. ‘’What’s wrong with you guys? Y’all got no taste. Where else do you find spots to steal?’’

‘’My dad,’’ Hook said.

At the same time, Jack said, ‘’Shawn Michaels, I guess?’’

Daniel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘’I’m surrounded by uncultured swines. Look, she was one of the hottest - literally - free agents in the business. She just signed here, she’s debuting tonight.’’

‘’She’s a wrestler?’’ Hook said. ‘’Damn. Would have been easier if she was a rat.’’

‘’She could be,’’ Daniel said. ‘’You can be a wrestler and a rat at the same time.’’

Hook narrowed his eyes at Daniel. ‘’You would know.’’

Daniel smiled back, completely oblivious. ‘’Yeah, I mean, look at Adam Cole. Or Edge. Or CM Pu -’’ He stopped himself and his eyes went wide in Jack’s direction. A very uncomfortable silence fell over the three of them, one that seemed to last precisely one million years. ‘’...other examples…’’

‘’Alright, enough standing around,’’ Hook said finally. He took his hands out of his hoodie pocket and cracked his knuckles. ‘’I’m going in.’’

Two hands, one from Daniel and one from Jack, shot out and grabbed his hoodie, preventing him from taking a step.

‘’No way,’’ Daniel said.

‘’Nuh uh,’’ Jack added.

Hook glared at the two. ‘’I saw her first.’’

Daniel was aghast. ‘’No, I saw her first! You didn’t know who she was until fifteen seconds ago!’’

‘’That doesn’t count,’’ Hook argued. ‘’I saw her first in the building, so I get first dibs.’’

‘’That’s not fair!’’ Jack whined.

Daniel said, ‘’You don’t understand, man - I’ve been crazy about this girl ever since I first saw her on Stardom World. I’ve been waiting for this moment for months - that could be the love of my life right there!’’

‘’Yeah, well, I wanna fuck her,’’ Hook said, as though that was the most airtight, well-reasoned counterpoint imaginable. ‘’You can fanboy over her all you want after I’m done with her.’’

‘’Hell no! I don’t want your sloppy seconds!’’

‘’If ‘the love of your life’ is sloppy seconds, what does that say about you, huh?’’

Hook and Daniel had been gradually inching closer to each other with each response. They both looked mad, like they were one second away from throwing punches. Jack couldn’t let that happen. Not after last time…

He put a hand on each man’s shoulder and created some distance between them. ‘’Guys, guys, calm down! We don’t need to fight.’’

Clearer heads seemed to prevail, Hook and Daniel shared a nod and then their body language changed, less guarded.

‘’Besides, you’re both wrong,’’ Jack continued. ‘’I should get to approach her first.’’

Hook and Daniel, now suddenly allies, raised an eyebrow each at Jack. ‘’Why?’’ they both asked at the same time.

‘’Because…’’ Jack started. His mind drew a blank. ‘’...I…want to…’’

Now it was Jack’s turn to be blinked at. He wracked his brain - he couldn’t let this opportunity slip away, not when the girl in question was that hot.

‘’Okay, here’s why it should be me! Or, I guess, here’s why it shouldn’t be either of you!’’ He pointed at Daniel. ‘’You hit on girls all the time, while I don’t. So much. So it’s only fair that I got a shot first because, you know, it’s a special occasion.’’ Daniel looked incredulous and opened his mouth to respond but Jack cut him off by pointing at Hook and continuing. ‘’And you! Aren’t you already seeing someone?’’

‘’Uh, no? The fuck you talking about?’’ Hook asked, looking very annoyed at the mere suggestion.

‘’What about that girl you hook up with all the time? The one who’s always texting you? Carly something?’’

Hook rolled his eyes. ‘’Alright, look - technically, I never told Carly we were exclusive. I just…told her a bunch of other stuff and she kinda assumed and I didn’t correct her because I didn’t wanna seem like an asshole. But just because she lets me hit on the regular doesn’t mean I owe her anything - she should understand that. So how is it my fault if she gets mad about something like this?’’

Jack furrowed his brow at his best friend. ‘’You…you don’t seriously think that, right? That’s gross!’’

‘’Nah, that makes perfect sense,’’ Daniel said. ‘’Flawless logic. She’s the one in the wrong, not you.’’

He and Hook shared a quick fistbump. Fuckboy solidarity.

Jack sighed deeply. ‘’See? This is why I should get to shoot my shot first - I won’t treat like her dirt like you two assholes!’’

Daniel looked offended. ‘’I’ll have you know, I’ll treat her like a queen!’’

Hook nodded. ‘’Yeah, same. Unless she doesn’t want me to, you know?’’

Fistbumps all around.

‘’There’s gotta be a way we can decide, fairly, who gets to go first,’’ Jack said. ‘’Some way we can settle this like mature adults. Like men.’’

The three men took a long moment to ponder their predicament and search for an appropriate solution.

Hook glanced down at his fist. ‘’Rock, paper, scissors?’’

‘’Yes,’’ Jack said, emphatically.

Daniel rubbed his hands together. ‘’Alright, how we doing this? Elimination style or triple threat rules?’’

Jack decided to defer to Hook; it was his idea after all.

Hook considered it for a moment. ‘’The usual 3-way match rules. First to score a fall wins.’’

The three of them formed a triangle and each of them placed a fist onto their other palm, ready and waiting. After silently confirming they were all ready through a series of shared nods, Jack took it upon himself to count them down.

‘’Okay, here we go! Rock, paper, scissors, sh -’’

Before he could finish, Jack was shoved back by Daniel, his back colliding with the wall. Daniel then grabbed Hook’s hand, still balled into a fist, and promptly covered it with his own palm, preventing Hook from changing his option and signalling paper-beats-rock.

‘’I win!’’ he announced proudly.

Hook ripped his hand away. ‘’Like hell you do!’’

‘’The fuck was that?!’’ Jack demanded, rubbing his back where it was now sore. ‘’That wasn’t a win, you cheated!’’

Daniel smiled smugly. ‘’No, I didn’t. We said triple threat rules - that means it’s No DQ.’’

A lengthy discussion ensued about what exactly constitutes a disqualification in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, hollowed by a side tangent about why there aren't disqualifications in a triple threat match. Upon realising that they weren’t going anywhere and were just wasting time, they all agreed to play by elimination rules. Hook was the first fall, picking paper while Jack and Daniel went with scissors. And in the finals, Jack’s paper bested Daniel’s rock. How poetic.

‘’Yes!’’ Jack exclaimed triumphantly. He took a great deal of satisfaction in Hook and Daniel’s sour, dejected expressions.

Jack glanced back over to confirm that Mariah was a) still there and b) hadn’t overheard any of that, which turned out to be true on both counts. She was in the exact same spot as before, still admiring herself in her phone’s camera. Jack could relate.

Jack took a few deep breaths to psyche himself up. ‘’Okay, Jack, you got this. You got this! I know exactly what’ll work here!’’

Hook groaned. ‘’You’re not seriously gonna try that again, are you?’’

‘’I told you, it totally works!’’ Jack said, defiant. ‘’Sometimes.’’

‘’What’s he talking about?’’ Daniel asked.

Hook sighed. ‘’He has this thing he does to try and pick up girls. It’s stupid - he just stands around looking sad and supposedly, a girl will eventually come up to him and ask him what’s wrong.’’

‘’It. Works. Sometimes,’’ Jack insisted.

Daniel considered that. ‘’Huh. Yeah, I can see it. One time, there was this girl who told me I had ‘sad eyes’ and it was half the reason she fucked me. So you might be onto something.’’

With his confidence boosted, Jack took another breath to calm his nerves and headed down the hallway to his target. He willed himself to stay calm, but he grew more nervous with each footstep. The closer he got, the better he could see her. She was even more stunning up close.

When he was near enough, he put on his game face. Which was to say, he put on his best sad puppy dog eyes and leaned against the wall, dejected.

His head was bowed, but he could see Mariah out of the corner of his eye. Unfortunately, she was still distracted by her own reflection. Jack didn’t blame her, but he really needed her to look his way. 

He let out a loud sigh. Nothing. So he sighed louder. Still nothing. The third sigh was so loud and exaggerated, it was almost comical. But it was the one that got the job done. Mariah finally looked up from her phone and found him there. There was a flash of concern on her face and Jack knew his diabolical plan was working.

‘’Excuse me, are you alright? You look really sad!’’

Whoa, she has an English accent? Jack wasn’t expecting that. It took him a couple of seconds to process and actually respond.

‘’Oh, it’s nothing, really. Just one thing after another today, you know?’’

Jack knows this is the part where she asks more questions about why he’s so sad and tries to cheer him up.

Mariah just hummed. ‘’Okay,’’ she said, and then turned her attention back to her phone.

Uh oh. It’s not going according to plan! Jack’s brain scrambled for what to do next. He pushed himself away from the wall and closer to her.

‘’Uh, hey, wait! Uh, I’m Jack!’’ he said, offering his hand out.

She eyed his hand curiously and then reluctantly shook it. Goddammit, why did he try to shake her hand? That’s not romantic, that’s…business-y?

‘’Nice to meet you, I guess,’’ she said. ‘’I’m Mariah May.’’

‘’Yeah, I know who you are,’’ Jack said. He wracked his brain for what it was Daniel said about her back there. ‘’I saw you wrestle in, uh…Venus World?’’

#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write #What can I say? I have a weird desire to write about my blorbos being idiot fuckboys *shrugs* #Uh oh Sam's gotten so bad at this writing shit that they're posting unfinished fic on tumblr #In a desperate attempt to not feel like a complete and utter failure #It's frustrating when a fun idea doesn't turn out to be as fun when you have to actually write it yourself #This happens to me a lot unfortunately #If you actually read this and wondered where it was going - #DG would try next and attempt to impress her with his in-depth knowledge of her Stardom career #But he'd end up failing by making it all about himself and then doing his dance at her which would just creep her out #Then Hook would try by just asking her ''How's your day?'' and then standing there listening to her for a while #And then he'd say ''I really like listening to you.'' #And he's like right this is the part where she pounces on me and begs me to fuck her #But it don't happen and Mariah tells him he's not her type #Which prompts Hook to have an existential breakdown due to being rejected by a girl for the first time in his life #And then Toni comes along to see what the fuss is all about and she's like ''Children please let me show you how it's done!'' #And then she effortlessly rizzes Mariah in a matter of seconds and the three fuckboys watch on like ''Aw man!'' #''Why are the hottest girls always gay?!'' #Yeah...it seemed a lot funnier in my head but now I'm reading it back....ouch 😬 #I'm thinking it's a good thing I abandoned ship here LOL

[avelera]

PSA: You should question news articles that make you not want to vote

Hey Tumblr friends, but especially young Americans in this, the year of our Lord 2024.

Unfortunately, it is an election year.

Unfortunately, a US election year becomes everyone's problem, and yes everyone else, we are very very sorry that you have to deal with our nonsense.

But in all seriousness, the level of propaganda that's going to be flung around on all sides is going to reach peak levels this year for the English-speaking internet in particular. There's going to be a lot of influence operations, on all sides, and yes including on sides you agree with but they are still influence operations.

Source: I am speaking as a cybersecurity professional who also did a great deal of work in election security.

So, here's what I am going to ask you to do. What I am going to beg you to do: be careful of any article that makes you think there's no point in voting.

That's it. I'm not going to tell you who to vote for, or how to think, or that you should trust or distrust every article out there. I don't care about that. I care about whether or not it makes you think you shouldn't vote.

A lot of influence operations are about making you feel like there's no point. That both sides are just as bad as the other. The the election is falsified. That you can "protest" by not voting (false: you will simply not be counted and your voice will be ignored). All sorts of reasons not to vote.

No matter what you do, what you believe, or who you trust, you really really have to vote this year, and every year, and you need to not listen to articles that say there's no point because among those articles are in fact active foreign influence campaigns trying to promote one side or the other for their own reasons, I am deadly serious right now.

(More context, sources, and examples sources below the cut.)

In 2016, Russian influence operations were focused on tearing down Hillary in order to specifically depress voter turnout among young men of color in the belief that this would help Trump get elected.

From the article: "“Buried literally in the middle of the indictment is a paragraph that should jar every American committed to the long fight for voting rights,” Anders wrote in a statement. “The Russians allegedly masqueraded as African-American and American Muslim activists to urge minority voters to abstain from voting in the 2016 election or to vote for a third-party candidate.”

This is the flavor of influence campaign that has been proven, that does exist, and is the sort of thing that does numbers here on Tumblr.

Things like the situation in Gaza, for example, are incredibly fraught situations. Articles don't even need to lie about facts on the ground there to make people feel hopeless and angry. Again, I am not telling you who to trust or not trust when it comes to news sources. But if an article about this event, for examples, makes you think or even outright tells you, "There's no point to voting, both sides are awful, I just shouldn't bother." You need to pause and at least consider that this might be an influence operation. You need to think critically. You need to check sources. You need to think about the world you want to live in, to vote for, and who might not want that world to happen for any variety of reasons.

Protesting by failing to vote isn't a real thing.

Old politicians ignoring young voters because they famously do not bother to vote is absolutely 100% a real thing. It is why so many policies that are popular with young people are low priority for politicians: they are not afraid of losing the young vote because no one plans on having it in the first place when it's never there in big enough numbers to matter.

So please, please, read what you want. Believe what you want. Follow your heart and your brain and whatever other organ you want to think with. I'm not here to tell you who is right, wrong, trustworthy, good, or bad. I'm just here to tell you that despite all of that, whatever you read, you must vote in your elections, no matter where you are in the world and you must not listen to voices that tell you not to as a protest.

#politics #us politics #maybe I'll regret this maybe no one will read it idk

[ghostedcas]

Can you do William and Afab!Reader snugglefucking?

snugglefucking 🥺🫶

i hope this is to your tastes sweet nonnie <3

MINORS DNI !!

william afton x afab!reader

word count: 450

warnings: soft smut, snugglefuck, very very light dubcon/somnophilia (reader is like half asleep and consent is not direclty given but is implied/refrenced consent has been arranged beforehand), 18+, probably ooc william afton bc it's soft (they're both sleepy)

a/n: i'm a virgin and that's probably gonna be very obvious from how i write smut, my only experience with sex is the fact that i've been reading fanfics since i was 10 so literally 10, almost 11 years💀 that said, please bear with me >.< as always, reader is afab and referred to with some "fem" petnames, but identifying gender is not specified.

a/n 2.0: also i wrote this at my grandparents' house while tipsy💅

a/n 3.0: soooooo all the stuff i wrote while drunk at my grandparents' house got deleted because tumblr is a lil BITCH and ngl i forgot most of what i wrote so i hope this version is okay. i may come back and rewrite this again and make it a little longer just because i feel awful about taking so long to get this out

--------

your eyes were still blurry with sleep in the early morning as you felt your husband slipping your underwear down your legs as he laid behind you, pressing soft kisses to your shoulder as he slid the obstructing fabric off your body.

you glanced over to check the time, 04:46. you supposed william had woken for work and was feeling rather needy, taking advantage of your previously established arrangement. one both of you took advantage of often.

"mornin' darling, didn't mean to wake you." a lie.

"morning will.. 's okay."

"just relax for me, sweet."

and with his voice so sweet and husky, hoarse with the grogginess of having just woken minutes before you, how could you not relax? his touch moving slowly up your thigh, teasing you just so, before he places a calloused finger to your clit, rubbing slow and teasing circles.

a soft hum of pleasure escapes your lips at his sensual touch, spurring the brit on more. his finger slipping down to slip inside you, curling the digit against the spongy spot deep inside you.

"that's it sweetheart, takin' it so well..." william muttered into your ear lowly as he pressed kisses and nibbles to your neck, slipping a second finger into your throbbing cunt.

william relished in the sounds of your sleepy moans, hips bucking into his hands slightly as he drove his fingers into you at a languid pace. the lewd sounds of your slick against his palm filling both your ears.

feeling his long fingers slip out of you, you let out a broken whine at the loss, only to be met with the feeling of his tip pressing to your core.

"shh, don't complain angel. quit your whining, i'll give you what you want."

"will, please..." you gasped out, begging him so sweetly for something he wasn't even denying you.

william lifts one of your legs gently, moving it back just so to place it back on his thigh as he pushed himself up into you from behind, making sure to go slow as he pushed in, wanting both to be careful with you as well as torture you with his sluggish pace.

soft, broken moans leave both your lips as he slowly pushes in, taking his sweet time bottoming out. once he does he starts a slow, torturous drag, in and out, in and... out.

"fuck, doll. feels good, nice and tight for me, yeah?" william grunts into your ear, his right hand coming down and sliding across your front, making it's way down your stomach to meet your clit once more.

you could never tire of waking up like this, and perhaps you'd have to return the favour tomorrow.

#william afton x reader #william afton x reader smut #william afton smut #ghostedcas #casper writes #casper's 💌

[9toji]

‧₊˚✩彡 I WANNA RIDE —

MINORS DNI !

pairings ; gojo x fem! reader ; nanami x fem! reader

tags / tw ; thigh-riding, use of endearments: bunny, cockwarming, bratty! reader (nanami), soft dom! gojo, slightly mean! dom nanami (bcs you tease him) characters are 22+

rina's comments ; my first work >< enjoy!!

“satoru..” you could only groan and gasp as gojo stares at you, completely in awe. his glowing blue eyes look over to your cunt, with a pleased grin. he loves the way it slicks up his clothed thigh, how the slick stains his black jeans.

he laughs at the way you shake and gasp for air, “we've only just started bunny, already so wet f'me.. look at you.. workin' that cunt. looks so delicious.” his voice drawls, completely enamored by you riding his thigh, how your back arches as if you're riding his cock.

“so sensitive bunny, can you even take my cock later? look at how huge your juices stained my pants baby.” he coos, making you look at your “dirty little mess.” nodding as if your life depended on it, you wanted him inside, needed it. god, it's been so long, you missed it.

and gojo couldn't blame you for missing the fucking, all the time away from each other made you want it even more. and that tight black shirt, it was just to die for.. and that's all you had to look at as you rode your high, groaning against the flimsy fabric of his pants.

satoru watched as your cum dripped down on to his thigh, he swore your legs were shaking as you sat back down on it. whimpering and pleading eyes that begged gojo for the real experience, “dont be so impatient bunny, you're a good girl right? look at you.. cumming for me.”

“so messy..” he pushes up your leaking cum back inside you before pulling you up on the couch, his slim hands pulling down his pants with a satisfied yet hungry grin. “did so good for me baby, time for the main course. gonna reward you.”

nanami was getting on edge, as he watched you on his lap, moving. your hips slowly rolling, you knew what you were doing and nanami was getting annoyed of it, how could he not? he was working, but nanami was nice enough to cockwarm you, muttering. “you're always so needy when i'm working.”

you couldn't resist the temptation to stop the little cockwarming to roll your hips, he wouldn't mind, or so you thought. but.. its not your fault, it was his long sleeved buttoned up shirt that made you so needy, the sleeves were rolled up to expose his muscular arms, the veins that became visible whenever he typed, god.. nanami is such a huge temptation.

“stop that princess. thought i made it clear that i'll only let you sit on my cock, not ride, hm?” nanami said sternly, a hand snaking up your moving hips to stop them. you whine out an apology, that you really didn't mean to.. it was just, too hard to resist. i mean it was already inside, why not move a little, you thought.

it was nice to tease him a little too.

his warning wasn't enough to stop your need, and after a few minutes you rolled your hips again, feeling the tip of his shaft poke against that particular spot inside you, making you shudder and gasp with pleasure. nanami raises an eyebrow, letting go of the keyboard to snake his hands up your hips again.

you let yourself indulge for a moment till you felt a sharp thrust, catching you offguard. “fine, i'll give you what you want.” the blonde cooed, slamming a few thrusts into you that made you moan.

“don't blame me when your legs hurt tonight, okay?”

© 2023 G9JORU. all of my works are original. please do not copy / repost / translate any of my works. distribution of my works outside tumblr is prohibited.

#rina; jjk works 🎧 #jjk; gojo 𓆩♡𓆪 #jjk; nanami 𓆩♡𓆪 #jujutsu kaisen #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #nanami smut #gojo smut #jujutsu gojo #gojo fanfic #jjk gojo #jjk nanami #jujutsu nanami #nanami fanfic #nanami kento #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #nanami x reader #gojo x female reader #nanami x fem!reader #gojo scenario #gojo drabbles #gojo headcanons #nanami scenarios #nanami drabbles #nanami headcanons #jjk scenarios #jjk drabbles #jjk headcanons #jjk fic

[saturn-nite]

"she goes boom!"

- drabble . gojo satoru x afab!reader .

summary: maybe you deserved it, maybe you didn't, but satoru can't resist breaking you down to make you beg

cw: dom!satoru, sub!reader, edging (a lot), a very teasing satoru, brat taming if you squint, dumbification for a bit, satoru being unfair, mentions of cunnilingus + fingering, a sprinkle of degradation (calls reader slut), praise (calls reader a good girl), one (1) daddy used, nicknames (honey, darling, my girl), clit spanking briefly, begging, punishment play ish , slight dacryphilia

a/n: first time writing smut and first time posting on tumblr :")) hope yall like xx [this is a repost]

"You still with me, baby?"

The words, low and teasing, are mumbled into your inner thigh in between playful nips, but the concern is still quietly audible. Shakily, you prop yourself up on your elbows, looking blearily where Satoru has lifted his head up from your core.

It's unfair how beautiful he looks- alabaster strands artfully ruffled from when your hands had clung onto them, blue eyes bright and cheeky, glossy pink lips made even glossier with your arousal.

A sharp tap on your thigh reminds you to focus and you force yourself to rein in your thoughts to focus.

"I asked you a question, honey," Satoru murmurs, tilting his head mockingly. "Don't tell me you're already fucked dumb? I haven't even done anything yet."

Your first instinct is to scoff- liar. He has been doing something- someone, rather- and has been for the past hour in fact. Teasing you with his fingers, tongue, playfully slapping your throbbing clit as his fingers massage your outer folds, their tips skimming your entrance but never pushing deeper to soothe the burning ache in your core to let you cum, playfully dangling you at the edge of release every time before pulling back.

"I- Satoru-"

"Focus," he singsongs, his smirk widening into a grin, slapping your clit in quick succession, causing you to squeak slightly. "You never answered my question, darlin'."

"Mm-" you struggle to rein back your thoughts, still panting and sniffing slightly, remembering his check-in. "I- y-yeah, 'm good."

Satoru hums, gently kissing your inner thigh, a quiet agreement to continue this.

"Good girl," he murmurs, letting his soft side show for just half a second before his smirk's back on his face, eyes half-lidded with mischief, low tones transforming into a growl. "Or well... not. This is a punishment, no? 'S what you get for being a bitchy little brat."

You cry out when he spanks your pussy hard to punctuate his point, a half sob lurching out your throat as you try to close your legs and hide your poor cunt from him, but his hands firmly lock your thighs in place, spread out and wide open just for him.

"S-said I was sorry," you whine.

Satoru chuckles lowly and you can't but clench involuntarily at the sound. "Aw, but brats like you never do mean their apologies, do they? But that's okay," he continues casually, conversationally, hands gliding up and down your thighs, tone turning faintly mocking. "Daddy's just gotta fuck the brat outta ya, hmm?"

You whine. "'toru-"

"Shh..." he cuts in smoothly, clambering on top of you, caging you in, gently raising your hands up to pin them on either side of your head. "Just stay pretty for me, hm?"

His lips meet your own, wet with your arousal and you can't help but moan into the kiss, eager for more as your hips needlessly bounce up to rub against one of Satoru's thighs that had sneakily pressed up against your core. The slight friction makes you dizzy and you whimper, mindlessly rubbing up and down his thigh as the kiss deepens.

"God, you're such a slut, huh?" he chuckles, breaking the kiss. "Can't last two minutes without me touching you down there, can you?"

"Satoru, please-"

"Please what, honey?" he chuckles, mouth moving down to nibble on that sensitive spot on your neck and you keen. To him, you're so cute like this, your walls breaking down from some simple pleasure, tongue-tied from trying to answer a couple of questions. "You gotta be specific."

"'Toru," you gasp. "Just- please."

Satoru clicks his tongue, shaking his head, mock pouting. "Darling, I know you can to better than that... use your words, huh?"

"Satoru-"

He frowns and sits up, releasing your hands. "Hmm? Well, I guess you don't want it that much then-"

"Toru, please-" you grab his wrist, blinking away tears of desperation, trembling. "Please just fuck me, please, need you inside me, wanna feel you-"

"Aww, you're so cute when you're honest," he purrs, leaning in close, right beside your ear.

You screw your eyes up at the feeling of his warm breath fanning over the shell of your ear. Even with your eyes firmly shut, you don't need to imagine to cocky, fox-like smirk on his face, canines ready to devour you.

"But I think my girl can last a bit longer than that, right~?"

#☆— playlist. #☆— venus. #☆— martini blue. #gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru x reader #gojo smut #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru #gojo x you #reposting since im finally showing up in the tags lol #jjk #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo #gojo satoru x you

[yn2hj]

Hey, Emo Boy!

'He may not look like he gets bitches, but honey that dick was 11 inches.' AYESHA EROTICA

pairings: subby emo!hongjoong x soft dom!reader

genre: smut

warnings: unprotected sex (wrap it up people), oral (giving), BIG DICK HJ CUZ Y NOT AAAAAAAAA, use of toys (vibrator), hand kink (?), public sex, slight (?) exhibition, b-b-begging... (tell me if i missed any!)

word count: 400 something... basta

a/n: hahahahahah omsem this is my first (not rlly) time writing a smut on tumblr n i hope i don't disappoint yall cuz my writing skills are shitty rn TANGINA anyways i, myself made the mood board! might aswell make some for my upcoming fics and fir my mst.lst and i am genuinely sorry for being inactive for like... two months

• you were so proud of your boyfriend, seeing him perform with his band and playing his guitar made you fall in love with him once again (and made you wet as hell)

• you didn't even notice that you were starting to get aroused just by looking at his hands, the way they slide up and down from the fretboard and the way his fingertips were moving fast made you wish that you're the guitar

• OH! ah, yes... you totally forgot the small pink remote that was hiding in your pocket. HMMM.. I WONDER WHAT THIS DOES??? :D

• hongjoong nearly moaned when you turned on the vibrator that was shoved in his ass (the pink type), he even DARED to glare at you when he was the one literally begging for you like this,

• "baby please, just once! i'll be good, I promise! please, just- shove it in my ass and turn on the vibrator..." whew, you were sweating when he begged

• it ended up you having to insert a vibrator in his cute little hole because this mf is an exhibitionist

• eventually, you gradually increased the volume, which was kindaaa.. a bad/good idea (you turned it on when it's hongjoong's part to sing)

• he was kinda eye fucking you when you two made eye contact... you have never ever felt to fuck someone this bad.

• after the show, you immediately slipped backstage (no one saw you do it) and was immediately met with hongjoong pulling you to one of the dresser

• "y/n plsplsplspls fuck me already" was the first thing that he said to you, impatiently removing his pants while you just stare at him in awe

• so you did... but you sucked his dick first. when you got down on your knees and pulled his cock out, he was leaking precum like a goddamn faucet. HE WAS SO WET LIKE???? you have never taken off your pants this fast

• being the good partner you are, you sucked, gagged, licked and choked on his dick like you're his good little slut (even though your mouth kinda hurts becuz he big bro)

• he came... a lot

• of course, you did NOT give him time before forcing him to sit down on one of the chairs and you started to ride him until he was seeing stars when he reached his orgasm <3

• both of you ended up having another round when you came home. A LOT MORE NASTIER  HAHAHAHAHAHDHJAJDJSJDJSJD

#ateez #ateez angst #ateez smut #ateez fluff #hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho #ateez x reader #ateez fic #ateez imagines #ateez drabbles #ateez drabble #atz

[reborrowing]

snake tank (part one maybe?)

little snake lady can have a borrower. as a treat. ~2100 words cw: captivity, dehumanization, neglect, cruelty, violence, fear, pet…treatment? - I don’t want to call it pet trope because that implies sentient pets are normalized and this is weird and awful in-universe as well. not actually vore! idc if you interact from that side of tumblr, but you'll be disappointed if that's what you're hoping for

Poe

I threw myself against the glass one last, futile time as I heard the door on the far side of the study creak open. My fingers nearly brushed the lip of the prison I’d been placed in, nearly caught onto that ledge that might let me pry open the lid and make an escape. I was still in the air when I felt his eyes land on me. My fur stiffened as his heavy footsteps approached. His towering form blocked out what sunlight had filtered through the closed window as he sat at his desk.

“You quit that, now. You know you aren’t getting out. Unless you’d like to try speaking with me again?”

I turned to face him rather than wait for him to spin the jar I was sitting in. I slunk to the floor, drawing up my knees as if they could shield me from his . He looked annoyed this time, rather than intrigued. I shook my head and stared at my hands. It wasn’t as if I would want him to dump me into his cold hands even if he wasn’t upset. I was bruised enough.

“I don’t have anything else to say. Sir,” I said.

He rolled his eyes.

“There's no one else!" I insisted. “It’s just me, the others ran away months ago, I’m the only one left.”

It wasn’t the truth, though by now it was close. The Copper family had moved out after Mellie reported that the master of the house was now collecting dangerous, exotic pets in his showroom. It was just the most stubborn of us left, or the most foolish.

“What to do with you, then?” the master of the house hummed.

He tapped a finger on the glass thoughtfully, right behind my head, in case I needed the reminder that my skull was no larger than the tip of his finger. I grimaced and looked back up at his face, where his wide lips twisted into a grotesque smirk. I closed my eyes as they curled back and revealed his teeth. My stomach twisted as he kept talking.

“My …friends tell me your kind is more trouble than you’re worth. But perhaps I could get some entertainment out of you?”

“Let me go, please. I’ll leave. I won’t bother you again,” I begged.

“Oh, but I do believe you owe me, little thief. How long have you been squatting here, hm?”

I slumped and curled in on myself. I had thought maybe, just maybe, if this guy cared for a zoo of strange animals, he might have a thread of compassion hiding in his oversized heartstrings. I’d—god, I had bet my life on it, hadn’t I? And now I was going to pay up.

Entertainment.

~

Hecate

A hand lifted away the log that I’d been curled up under.

I flinched awkwardly at the sudden light, then rolled to face the front of my enclosure. The man liked it when I “looked” at him. I couldn’t tell if he knew I was blind or not. All my eyes told me was that there was a large, blurry shadow standing over the tank. It could’ve been a tree, for all my eyes could understand.

I knew it was him though. I could sense his blazing warmth through other means. More importantly, I could smell him.

The hands. The nice hands. The man. Hugh Morton.

I smelled something else, too, something new. Another person, maybe? I listened intently for another heartbeat, another guest. I didn’t want to be shown off right now. I wanted to go back to sleep.

His hand reached back down to ruffle my hair, then run a rough finger across my scales. He rumbled something about feeding and I slumped back down to crawl back to bed. I wasn't hungry enough to want to fight and for all the good these hands did, they never killed my meals for me like the last ones did.

"Don't be so fussy, Hecate, I’m giving you a treat,” he chided. The ground shook as he flicked a finger against the glass wall. “You must get bored lying around in there all night.”

I huffed and and backed into a better position, against the side of one of my ceramic caves. I was still nursing a bite on my flank from my last dinner. 

I licked the air as Hugh slid open one half of the wall. I frowned. The prey was not a creature I knew. Hugh’s hands dangled a warm shadow by a long tail, then flicked it into the soil and the prey squeaked as it landed. It didn’t smell like a rat or any other rodent I’d encountered before. It did smell afraid.

It already understood it was being hunted. I didn’t like that. Scared meals fought back. I had scars to prove it.

Hugh scoffed in annoyance as the creature scrambled towards the opening in the glass. He knocked it back into the enclosure several times while I waited for a chance to strike.

“Don't make me break your legs," Hugh sighed.

The creature stopped moving. Strange. Its little heart was hot and hammering. Was it trained? Why would anyone take the time to train food?

Maybe it was afraid of Hugh’s voice. 

I took advantage of its stillness and lunged. It turned to run in the split-second before we collided. It slammed into one of my open arms. I fumbled as it flailed, then got myself curled around it anyway.

It felt strange against my scales. Not furry. Not naked. Synthetic. Was it wrapped? Humans wrapped their food, but not mine. They used those crinkling papers. This was wrapped in something soft.

Was it clothed?

I hesitated in my confusion and the prey bit back. Something long and sharp stabbed in between two ventral scales. I flinched, hissing, and the prey slipped away. It left the sharp thing behind, but it didn’t bleed. I put a hand on the sharp thing and realized it wasn’t a tooth. It had some kind of handle. Plastic. The point was metal. Some kind of tiny knife? I swayed uncertainly and let the little creature run.

What was he feeding me?

~

Poe

It had never occurred to me that there might be peoples other than humans and my own kind living in this world. I wish I had the time to found out.

The caged creature I had been placed with was, as most things were, comparatively massive. Its front was that of a vaguely humanoid woman, small, but still at least twice the size of my own top half. Her eyes were vacant and unfocussed. She was pale, fat, and lined with scars that told me she had much more experience than myself in fighting. 

The bulk of her body was what truly scared me. She was a python that trailed lazily across the near half of the terrarium. She was coiled, so I could only guess at her true length, but her girth was easy to make out. I regularly crawled through tunnels narrower than this snake, making it all too easy to understand what would happen to me. That the master of the house had returned my thumbtack seemed like a joke. I had no prayer here. This would be a cruel combination of all the worst deaths I'd been taught to fear—caught, crushed, and consumed.

Entertainment!

I wanted to refuse him the satisfaction. I let myself lie down and cry as the master of the house threw me back into the dirt with an unambiguous threat. I might as well. No one else would know to mourn me for weeks, even months.

It would turn out that my inborn will to survive was stronger than my desire to spite the host I'd lived under for so many years. I rolled out of the way, only a split second two late, as the snake woman pounced. She caught me in the crook of her elbow then shoved me into a wall of scaled muscle. The python whipped around me before I could take a breath. I barely had the space to think, never mind resist. It was sheer luck that wedged my thumbtack between two plates of her underbelly.

And it was enough. She spasmed and let go of me.

I fell forward into the dirt, coughing to refill my aching lungs. I don’t think she had left any part of me unbruised, though didn’t waste time taking inventory of my injuries.

“Hey, don’t let it get away now, girl, get up!"

I scowled up at the master of the house as I pushed onto my feet. There was nowhere for me to get away to, not while he was leering over the open door.

I didn't understand him.

I didn't understand how a thinking creature such as himself, with all his power and all his resources, would resort to blood sport for entertainment. The study I'd spent my life beneath had a beautiful library. Page after page told of the world's endless mysteries, of beauty and majesty and life for him to go out and pursue. And he would choose to spend his time watching some monster eat me alive.

I saw the snake-woman moving out of the corner of my eye. My stomach twisted at the utter silence of her movement over the dirt even before she started sliding towards me, and then it was like a switch went off in my head. Gone was higher thought, blown away by the sheer force of the ancient instinct to run.

The terrarium was full and well-decorated, with plenty of greenery both faux and alive as well as several dark spaces to hide. I doubted any would shelter me, this place had been built for her. 

I had nowhere to go and I ran and I ran and I hit the glass and I ran and there was a branch so I climbed it and I reached the ceiling and there was more glass and I turned around and there she was crawling after me and I jumped and her hand brushed my leg and I kicked and she fell  around me like an avalanche and it was over.

Her long body surrounded me and as soon as I moved, she struck. Walls of scales encased me again and this time, no tack would save me. Everything went dark.

Several seconds passed. She loosed her grip. I heard the master’s muffled voice droning through her flank. I took a breath and shuddered. Long minutes of silence passed and the knot she’d wrapped me in fell away. 

I admit I didn’t know much about snakes, but she didn’t seem to be very good at this.

I sprung to my feet, desperate to get at least a few inches between us again, but her hand wrapped around my face. She grabbed the back of my shirt’s neckline with her other hand and I thrashed as she pulled me off the ground.

Slowly, her palm pulled away from my face. She rubbed two fingers over my eyes, traced the curve of my nose, and drew a thumb across my lips. I bit down as hard as I could. She barely flinched, just wiped a little blood off on the side of my face.

“Beb?” she croaked.

Her blank eyes narrowed in concentration as her tongue flicked out of her mouth and brushed against my nose. Tasting me. Her lips twitched. I felt cold.

“No, please! Please, please, please, kill me first, please,” I cried.

She tilted her head to the side. Her tongue flickered twice more and both times I flinched. She babbled something in a tortured voice. 

“Please,” I begged. “If you can even understand me, please, just kill me before you eat me. I don’t want to suffer.” 

She frowned and hissed several times. My blood trembled through my veins. She slowly shaped her tongue around some word I did not know. She patted my head and sighed, then set me gently on the dirt beside her and slithered away.

~

Hecate

The prey had the face of a person.

The little thing was clever enough to talk, but not smart enough to understand me. They were small like a hatchling. They ran on legs like a bird. 

They screamed and cried so I let the little one have some space, whatever they were.

I hoped they would come back to me. They were very warm. Like the sun, but in a person. Like food. Like Hugh.

Like this lovely little cave in the back of the tank. I curled up and burrowed into myself for a cozy rest.

I hoped they wouldn’t try to kill me.

#should I post this at a normaller hour? probably. and yet. #g/t #giant/tiny #g/t writing #my writing #g/t whump #snake tank #oc: poe #oc: hecate #you can tell the owner guy's not important because he doesn't get a tag lol #anyway I think I'm failing at least one class this term yay yay. I have an essay due tomorrow. I finished this instead. #amwt

[thisismysecondrodeo]

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Ted Lasso x Reader Love is a gamble we play and you've got much safer odds [3-part series] (on ao3) - Angst/Romance Between your friendship with Beard and your relationship with Ted, you've got a good thing going in Richmond. Doesn't mean you're not still nervous when Henry comes to town. And it definitely doesn't mean you can hold in your jealousy when it turns out Michelle comes along too.

Ted Lasso x Reader Bad Dreams [2-part series] (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Fluff Tumblr request: would love to read your take on what happens when the boys are on an away game and you're home with the little lasso but then you wake up from a nightmare? i feel like the kid being like his father would make you fall even harder for your little family + sequel: Ted is present for a nightmare

Ted Lasso & Jaime Tartt Jamie's Sick Day (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Fluff Tumblr request: If you’re accepting Ted Lasso requests, can I humbly BEG for some Ted taking care of a sick Jamie??

Ted Lasso x Reader Wedding Day [2-part series] (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance/Fluff Tumblr request: Ted and reader's wedding day. Ted standing on one side of the door frame, holding her hand while she works through her nerves not about marrying him (she's never been more sure she wants to marry him) but more about accidentally tripping, or that her dress isn't nice enough, what is the press going to say + sequel: what about the angst of the roles being reversed?

Ted Lasso x Reader Missing/Wanted (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Angst/Romance Tumblr request: Can I request a Ted × Reader angsty fic where Ted and reader both have had an awful few days and they misdirect their anger towards each other, they both say a few things to each other which they really don't mean and one of them just storms out and then the other sort of spends the whole night finding them unsuccessfully....

Ted Lasso x Reader Baby it's Cold Outside (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Fluff Tumblr request: It has been super cold outside, so naturally I’ve been thinking about Ted warming Y/N up after they come in from outside (absolutely freezing). He seems like the kind of guy to have a lot of body warmth 🔥

Coach Beard x Trent Crimm Men of Mystery (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance Based on a Tumblr Drawing: Trent Crimm locks his keys in his car. Beard knows what to do about that.

Ted Lasso x Reader Home for the Holidays (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance Tumblr request: i know ted says he and michelle have been together since high school but can we please see "My family invited an old friend for the holidays and they're my first love"?

Ted Lasso x Reader Loved and Cherished (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance/Fluff Tumblr Request: I'm having post episode feels. What about just finding ways to cheer Ted up and telling him how much you love and cherish him

T-----------------------------------------------

Ted Lasso x Reader Fightin' Words (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance Tumblr request: Sleeping with Other People inspired—ted punching someone to defend his love??? we need your take on that pretty please??? and they being the only one that gets him to take a step back??? so beard is like....wait...you're down bad, my friend.

Ted Lasso x Reader Medication (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Hurt/Comfort Tumblr request: I was hoping you might write a blurb about Ted finding out that his partner is medicated when she stays with him the first time and just not wanting her to feel bad about having to take medication for her mental health

Ted Lasso x Reader The Breakup (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Angst/Romance Tumblr request: i'm in desperate need of you writing a blurb where the reader panics over the fact they are sure ted is about to break up with them (he is not) and he calms them down and its sweet and loving and he stays. name your price, my friend.

Ted Lasso x Reader Sick Fic (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Light Hurt Comfort Tumblr request: Ted helping his partner feel better when they're sick.

Ted Lasso x Reader Too Needy (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Angst/Romance Tumblr request: Ted's partner is worried about being too needy for him, which is a feeling Ted understands all too well

Ted Lasso x Reader Tickle-Me-Ted (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Fluff Tumblr request: thinking about ted holding something out of y/n’s reach to tease her, so she tickles him and he starts giggling and blushing

Ted Lasso x Reader Faint of Heart (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Hurt/Comfort Tumblr request: I had a fainting spell at work today and it was scary because people helped but then I was alone...I was wondering if you could write for Ted or Jason when the reader fainted at work in front of him?

Ted Lasso x Reader Striptease (Tumblr Only) - Romance/Fluff Tumblr Request: ted doing a striptease to pony by ginuwine

Ted Lasso x Reader Camping Codependency (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Fluff Tumblr request: just imagined ted and reader taking the Richmond team on a team-building adventure (camping). Ted and reader share a tent, but obviously have to be suuuuuuuuper quiet while they get down to it…

Ted Lasso x Reader High for Hallmark (Tumblr Only because its so short) - Romance Tumblr Request: Just finished episode 2 & I just know that Jason loves hallmark movies just like Theodore is it too much to smoke a bit and chill on the couch watching cheesy Christmas rom coms nowhere near Christmas with him?

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Ted Lasso x Rebecca The Oh Moment [2-part series] (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance/Light Smut Based on this tumblr post: the "oh. oh." moment in fan fic but instead of a character realizing they're in love it's them discovering they have a specific kink at the worst possible moment. Part 1 has Rebecca taking part in a team tradition, and Part 2 Ted experiences a dinner gone wrong...or right?

Ted Lasso x Reader Crushin' (on) You (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance/Light Smut Tumblr Request: Thinking about ted tying me up 😶 or ted laying on top of me. His slutty forearms and his strong thighs. Sigh. horny ted thoughts

Ted Lasso x Reader Touch Tank (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance/Light Smut Tumblr Request: would you consider writing a ted/reader fic where an extremely touch-starved reader is fascinated with ted's hands and playfully baits him into tickling them? those hands teasing and kneading in search of the best ticklish spots

Ted Lasso x Reader Crushin' (on) You (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance/Light Smut Tumblr Request: Thinking about ted tying me up 😶 or ted laying on top of me. His slutty forearms and his strong thighs. Sigh. horny ted thoughts

Ted Lasso x Reader Touch Tank (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance/Light Smut Tumblr Request: would you consider writing a ted/reader fic where an extremely touch-starved reader is fascinated with ted's hands and playfully baits him into tickling them? those hands teasing and kneading in search of the best ticklish spots

Ted Lasso x Reader Aftercare (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance/Referenced Smut Tumblr Request: sub Ted needs reader (any gender) to provide lots of fluffy aftercare

Ted Lasso x Reader Vacation Bae (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance/Light Smut Tumblr Request: obsessed with thinking about how ted would react to seeing y/n in more revealing clothes for the first time; short shorts, a crop top, a bikini, maybe some lingerie that y/n picked out just for him

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Ted Lasso x Reader Getting Ready [4-part series] (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Smut Tumblr request: Imagine how sweet and spicy getting ready for an event with Ted could be! + sequel: Dom Jason × Sub reader smut would be so hot if you're comfortable with that and then Jason being so adorably cute and caring during the aftercare + triology: D/S dynamics outside of the bedroom + Bonus chapter 4 I forgot about lol

Ted Lasso x Reader Operation Seduce Ted (on ao3) - Smut You've been dating Ted for a while and things seem like they're going well...so why haven't you slept together? Enter Operation Seduce Ted.

Ted Lasso x Reader Healing Hands (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Smut Tumblr request: ted giving y/n a massage?

Ted Lasso x Reader Hot Chocolate (Tumblr Only) - Smut Tumblr request: Y/N and ted are having a nice cup of hot chocolate on his sofa when he spills his cup all over himself 🤭 not to worry though, because he takes his shirt off to deal with the stain… which heats things up,,, mmmh shirtless ted

Ted Lasso x Reader School Daze [5-part series] (consolidated on ao3) - Fluff/Smut/Angst Tumblr request: what if reader went to college w ted (before he met michelle) just someone he casually knew from class and had a crush but never did anything and they run into each other all those years later in richmond and they talk about how they both liked each other but never said anything

Ted Lasso x Reader A Little Tied Up (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Smut Tumblr request: Cannot I humbly ask for Ted being tied down on the bed for reader to use as she wishes for the night?

Ted Lasso x Reader Hit the Showers (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance/Smut Tumblr Request: i am DYING to read some facesitting with ted. i’m thinking the reader is super hesitant at first when ted suggests it, but he soon wins her around, especially with the feel of that amazing moustache

Ted Lasso x Reader Hush Your Butt [2-part series] (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance/Light Smut Tumblr Request: thinking about ted worshipping y/n’s body

Ted Lasso x Reader This Seat Taken? [2-part series] (Tumblr Drabbles Series on ao3) - Romance/Smut Tumblr Request: sitting on Ted’s lap in public (maybe at a party) and moving around to tease him 😈

Ted Lasso x Reader Full Stop (Tumblr Drabble Series on ao3) - Romance/Smut Tumblr Request: Do you think you would be up for writing some super soft period sex with Ted Lasso? 👉🏻👈🏻

All Multi-Chapter Fics ->

Back to the Masterlist ->

#writing #fanfiction #fanfiction masterlist #ted lasso #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fanfiction #ted x rebecca #ted x roy #ted x reader

[yourwildsimp]

blood stains and butterflies

includes: Soap, Ghost warnings: PTSD, panic attack, vomiting, gore length: 4,000 some words summary: Ghost isn't all too happy that Christmas showed up months early. A/N: uh... Boo. I'm alive! Anyways, new obsession time. Also, ik tumblr goes crazy with bots but where did they all swarm me from?? Enjoy though, and please give me feedback.

Ghost stumbles, nearly slipping in the pummeling rain. His gloved hand hardly catches traction on the slick side of their stupid fucking safe house that's spat up 30 miles past bum fuck nowhere.

The sky is as dark as the field that surrounds him, clouds hiding the moon away like it's something shameful.

I'm shameful, Ghost's brain spits as he gasps as quietly as he can. He can feel his throat closing up tight- too tight- tighter than anything he can handle.

Oh sure, because waterboarding and gasoline is nothing compared to stupid, god awful-

"Creepin' Jesus, L.t.-"

Ghost hardly has the wherewithal to yank his mask just over the bridge of his crooked, fucked up nose before he's spilling what little bit of lunch he ate before they were sent on this lousy mission.

"Ghost, what's goin' oan? Ye alright?"

Shut up. Shut the hell up. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

He's dry heaving so much that something is stinging somewhere deep behind his eyes.

A hand, steady yet uncertain, touches his shoulder and Ghost feels flames licking at his skin, even through the ever persistent rain storm.

"Don't fucking touch me," he seethes, baring his teeth like a rabid animal, feet clumsily scrambling further away, leaving his arms to weakly try to compensate. The last thing he needs is to bust his ass on his own throw up.

Soap jerks his hand away like he is the one being burned. The rain is so loud, but not even shelling could drown out the sound of Soap's breath catching in his throat.

"I'm fine," Ghost rasps, sounding impossibly fragile even to his own ringing ears. "Go back inside before you get yourself sick, Soap."

"Sick like ye?"

Ghost is gagging on bile before he can spit fire back. Instead, he spits up the last of his pathetic lunch.

"I said I'm fine. They're just-" Christ, he's shaking so hard he might slip again- "fucking Christmas lights. Nothing's wrong with me."

If Ghost would stop being a little bitch for a second, he'd see the way Soap's eyebrows furrow in genuine confusion with a single blink.

"This is aboot th' holiday decor?" Soap asks desperately. Ghost can hear a puddle splash as Soap inches closer.

Ghost would rather be buried alive again than admit that he is having a breakdown over some lights speckled with blood. Hell, he'd rather gulp down gasoline than speak anything ever again.

Ghost screws his eyes shut in hopes of- of what? Hiding? He's such a shameless coward.

"L.t. please. What's goin' oan? I don't understand- what's wrong with th' lights?"

The door was kicked open, windows smashed in, and they were dead long before he jerked his car in park.

He wanted- needed- them to be alive so badly, so desperately, he skimmed over the fact that more of Joseph's brains were on the wall than in his skull for fuck's sake-

He's retching again, but tears are making his vision too blurry to see what he's hurling onto the muddied clump of grass beneath his feet. Rain, actually. The rain is making his vision blurry.

"Come back inside 'fore ye hurt yerself more. Please, Ghost." There is a noticeable hesitation and Ghost hopes Soap will just go back inside and leave him in shambles.

Soap doesn't go anywhere, but Ghost crumbles anyway from what he says.

"Ye're scarin' me…"

"You're scaring me! Tommy, stop it! Please- please stop!"

Tommy sneered behind the cracked skull mask, and Simon felt his lower bunk dip with his brother's weight. The pillow under his head was snatched from him.

"Don't ever beg anyone for anything, Simon. Hasn't dad taught you that?" The sneer bled into a sickening grin. "Here, let's practice."

His pillow was shoved over his face before he could even choke out the word 'no'.

Ghost loses his footing and falls to his knees, hands weakly grasping for any leverage on the side of the safe house. There isn't any. His left knee digs into the mud as he stumbles.

Soap, the persistent, heaven-sent bastard, is by his side before Ghost slips any further.

"I don't-" Soap hovers by Ghost like a lost dog, buzzing with confusion and concern. "A'll take it doon, Lt. A'll get rid of it all."

Ghost vaguely hears Soap's footsteps trailing off, the pummeling of the rain and the rushing in his ears nearly drowning it out. But then Soap stops and the footsteps rush back his way. Ghost shudders in the rain, in his thoughts, fingers weakly dragging against the dirt as he presses his back against the side of the shelter. Soap is so quiet that Ghost can almost pretend he isn't there.

But, fuck, he is. Standing right there, thinking God knows what, and Ghost's mask is still above his scarred, vomit-laced mouth-

Ghost drags his soaked sleeve over his mouth and chin so rough he feels a strap jerk against a scar. He grits his teeth and bares it and yanks his mask back over the rest of his face.

"Give me yer knives."

Ghost startles- fucking jumps out of his skin. He thought Soap was gone. Scratch that- he hoped Soap was gone.

Ghost slaps together the meanest glare he can muster. He's pathetic like this; a mess in the mud, his own vomit washing away in the rain next to him, being waterboarded by his mask.

Soap doesn't even flinch. Hell, he reaches his hand out, expectant.

"Ye might…" Soap takes a breath, his fingers curling into his palm just a little. "I don't want to come back oot 'ere to find that ye did something stupid to yerself."

"You think-" Ghost has to take a short breath, his voice shredded and raw and so god damn fragile. "You think that I'm-"

"I don't know what t' think," Soap rushes, sounding as desperate as Ghost hates to feel. "Just promise me ye won't."

Ghost screws his eyes shut, wondering if a promise like this only counts for the moment, or if he has to keep it for the rest of his miserable life.

"Am beggin' ye, Ghost."

"Did you beg them, Tommy? Did you?" Simon heard himself say as he stared at his brother's limp body dangling in a bloody mess of Christmas lights from the rafters. Fitting it was, that he suffocated. "Or did not have the chance to?"

"Simon-"

"Don't you- Don't fucking call me that," Ghost rasps.

Soap opens his mouth, desperate as a drowned man gasping for air, but Ghost beats him to it.

"I won't, fuck. I'm not bloody insane." Although he sure as hell felt that way.

Soap's jaw tightens, teeth clenching against each other as he draws his hand back. He is still hesitant to leave Ghost alone; alone with his thoughts and feelings. And knives.

"I won't," Ghost breathes quietly, Adam's apple bobbing as he gathers what little pieces of him were left. "I wouldn't, Soap."

Soap nods, gaze lingering as he turns his body away towards the shelter. "A'll kill ye, if ye do."

Ghost chuckles, heartless and hurt and so pitifully wrapped in his head. What a perfect way to go, that would be. That's the only way he can see himself dying, being taken out by Soap. Ghost wonders how he would do it.

Soap hasn't moved.

"I promise, Johnny."

That seems to do the trick because seconds later, Soap is taking off through the rain and heading inside the house.

Ghost is, blessedly, devastatingly, alone. But he's left with his thoughts. And they begin to wander before he beats them down.

The whole fucking shelter is done up with Christmas decorations, and it makes him wonder how many layers of dust are on every light and ornament. It makes him wonder what happened to the people who strung them up.

He doesn't wonder, however, how the blood splatters got there.

It's not even near the holiday season, either, which really pisses him off because it's just his luck. He thought he'd be safe from his holiday horrors, months away from Christmas. Of course the world slams a curveball right in his face and spits on him while he's down.

He doesn't notice that his hands are gripping at the top of his mask. They would be tugging on his hair, but he's a spineless, faceless coward. No wonder everyone thought Tom was the better brother. They were fucking right to, weren't they?

Christ, they're all he can see. Tom, hanging from the rafters by the Christmas tree lights, his throat a mangled mess. Beth, a crumpled mop of blinding white ribs and heavy dark blood, her Santa hat mostly red and somewhere underneath what was left of her. His mom, stabbed in the neck, blood soaking into her newest ugly sweater she was so proud of. Joseph's head and reindeer antlers headband was blown off with a bullet, his blood and brains and matter covering the various paint splotches on the wall where Tom and Beth couldn't decide on a new color.

Joseph's toy airplane kicked to the side, forgotten white wings stained with pieces of the boy.

He wanted to be a pilot when he grew up, Joseph did. He used to make Simon hold him above his head so he could stick his little arms out real far like they were wings on a plane. Simon would carry him all around the house; pretended to be the panicked control tower, telling pilot Joseph that he couldn't use the runway- the hallway- because there were fallen trees- a broom and a mop- blocking his path. Pilot Joseph was always a quick thinker, and he would land his plane further down the way, on an empty back road- the couch. And Simon would toss his beaming nephew on the ratty old brown couch and listen to his giggles as he shouted, "Again, Uncle Simon! Again!"

God, the pure joy on the kids face whenever Simon bought him that little toy plane for Christmas one year was burning at the back of his brain. Fucks sake, all Simon could afford at the time was a little figurine. It wasn't remote controlled, no doors could open- hell, the propeller couldn't even spin. But Joseph loved it more than anything in the world.

The sound of glass shattering behind the shelter has Ghost choking on his breath.

Simon would've killed to have been deaf when he took Tom down from the rafters. Glass shattered, body thumped, glass shattered, glass shattered, glass-

Bile scorches the back of his throat as his memory supplies the imagine of blood splattered Christmas ornaments. He tumbles forwards onto his hands and knees, frantically tugging his mask above his lips again. One hand claws at the dirt, the other, supported by his elbow in the mud, holding the bottom part of his mask out of the way as he retches and dry heaves until he swears he could be spitting up blood.

Ghost curls in on himself and falls to his side, a deflated, crumpled heap of shame.

It's all his fault. It is. If he had gotten there sooner, if he had seen it all coming, if he had never gotten compromised, if he had never joined the fucking military- none of it would have happend. It's his fault, all his fault.

"My fault," he heaves, blurry eyes boring into where the dark, starless sky seamlessly bleeds into the black, rocky mud. He's drowning in the stifling nothingness.

Tom could be coming home from work, kissing Beth hello, playing 'pilot' with Joseph. But he's not. He's a rotted corpse six-feet under the dirt. That's how Simon should be. It's his fault that it didn't turn out that way. His fault, all his fault.

"I'm sorry," he breaks, shaking his head, bringing his muddy glove to his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead. The other half hides, burying into the ground, like he could dig his own grave like this.

Joseph would've been in high school by now, driving and going to meet friends. But he's not. He's stuck in a wooden box next to his parents. That's how Simon should be. It's his fault-

"Please-"

"Ghost?"

Ghost's eye snap open, body tense and frozen. He vaguely notices that he's hyperventilating. Christ alive, he's breathing so fast but he can't get any air. He can't breathe, no matter how hard he tries. He might as well be buried alive again-

"…-ost, look at me. I need ye to look at me Lt."

Ghost's blood shot eyes snap in Soap's direction- when was he sat up against the shack's wall?- and his breath hitches somewhere deep in his throat before he feels his heart pitter faster. It's trying to break out of his ribcage, slamming into his cracking bones, threatening to bleed openly into Soap's hands. Soap has such nice hands. He'd hate to soil them.

"Where are we reit now?' Soap asks, carefully crouching in front of him, both hands resting open palm facing up on his knees.

Ghost feels his eyebrows furrow at that one. Has Soap forgotten? Your location seems like an awfully important thing to know.

"Ghost, I need ye to tell me where we are," Soap insists, the tendons in his neck pulled so taunt. Ghost worries. He worries that Soap will hurt his neck, straining how he is.

"Manchester?" he murmurs so low that he can feel how his vocal cords vibrate with it. Soap's neck pulls over his Adam's apple as it bobs rough. Ghost wonders what it would take to snap the stretched tendons there. Ghost thinks he'll kill anything that dares to graze them.

"Nae. Nae, Ghost. Look around. Look around ye an' then tell me where we are."

Ghost's eyes carefully draw away from Soap's vulnerable, tense throat, and move to meet his gaze. Soap is scared, he realizes slowly, the thought dawning on him as slow as the sun rises. Ghost furrows his eyebrows, a frown tugs his lips down at the side. Hesitantly, his eyes drift to the trees surrounding him. He can hardly pick up anything distinctive through the rain, but he feels his eyes widen.

"We're at a safe house. But- but then I-"

"That's reit, Ghost. We're on a mission waitin' for exfil. Do ye remember what our mission was?" Soap speaks like a kindergarten teacher. One who wears long, gray skirts and a yellow button-up blouse, has the thinnest heels on her black shoes, and always has her hair done up in a relaxed bun. Ghost vaguely remembers hating his kindergarten classes; he could never focus. Ghost thinks he would hang on every word if Soap was his teacher. "Stay with me, Ghost," Mr. Soap snaps his fingers once or twice, the sound dancing away through the rain.

"Gather intel on the terrorists' bio-weapons… Destroy the sample. Get out with no one the wiser." Ghost holds his breath for praise, for Soap to tell him he's right. Tell him thats he's not a fuck up, not weak or stupid or not masculine enough. To tell him that maybe, he deserved everything that happened to him

"Yeah, that's right. There ye go, Ghost." Soap's lips twist into a pitiful, beautiful thin-lipped smile. "Thought I lost ye for good there, L.T."

"Never," Ghost rasps before he can shut his big fat mouth.

Soaps lips quirk up more at that, and Ghost has half the mind to get on his knees and ask for repentance. Acceptance, even.

"Are ye alright to come inside?" Soap asks carefully, words treading carefully like Ghost was a minefield.

Sometimes he feels that way, if he were ever honest with himself. He feels like a wired ticking time bomb, bound to explode at the smallest of missteps.

Well, Soap just happens to be a demolition expert, doesn't he?

"Ghost? Did ye hear me?"

Ghost feels himself blink, and when he opens his eyes, he can only look at Soap's lips.

It's unfair, really, how it all slams into him at once, after everything.

He thinks about it. He thinks about it so vividly that he can almost feeling his rough lips against Soap's, feel his clean shaven jaw rub against Soap's stubble.

He takes a shuddering breath when the thought of betrayal and blood and Christmas lights flood his mind.

He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve Soap's lips or stubble or- hell- his being. He isn't good enough.

Besides, it'll only get Soap killed faster. More brutal. They'd make Ghost watch, too. He couldn't shoulder that.

Ghost startles slightly when Soap's gloved hand waves in front of his eyes once or twice.

"Don't get in yer heid. Stay with me, L.T."

Ghost feels his lips tremble. Soap always knows his tells.

" 'm sorry, Johnny," Simon murmurs, blinking against the shine in Soap's eyes.

Soap softens at that, concerned frown morphing into a lopsided grin that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"No need to apologize, Ghost. Ain't yer fault," Soap hums.

Ghost grunts at that, and if it was in acceptance or disagreement, Soap could only hope to flip a coin.

Soap takes off one of his gloves, his pale skin free from the inky, filthy glove. He holds this hand out like an offering, palm up and fingers outstretched, inches away from Ghost's chest.

"Ready to dry off, L.T? I mean, we could keep showerin' out here if ye want to, but…" Soap trails off, eyes following the dark, angry clouds moving in from the west.

Soap has the bluest eyes. Like Scorpion grasses. Those invasive beautiful bastards spread like wildfire in his mother's dingy little garden one year and she could never get rid of them. Hell, she made the whole damn garden full of Scorpion grass.

Ghost leans his head closer- ever so minutely- to get a closer look at Soap's eyes.

Yeah. Soap's exactly like Scorpion grass.

He's certainly invasive. Ghost didn't want him at first, but he kept coming back. Over and over and over again. And, well, Ghost certainly can't stand to get rid of him now. Soap calms his jumpy fucking nerves too, just like the flowers. He smoothes out Ghost's worries like it's as easy as spreading melted butter on toast.

Forget-me-nots.

That's right- they're also called forget-me-nots.

Ghost couldn't forget Soap for anything. He'd know him anywhere, anywhere at all. On earth, in hell, somewhere in the gray in between. Ghost could be blind and deaf, yet still know Soap if the man was near him.

Scorpion grass might just be his favorite flower if he allows himself that much.

"…Ghost? Ye alright?"

Ghost blinks, ripping his gaze away from the vast ocean he almost drowned in. With another, deliberate, blink, he realizes Soap is blushing. Pink dusts over his cheeks, his eyes struggling to hold their place on Ghost.

"Somethin' on my face?" Soap chuckles, the sound high and tense.

Ghost swallows, breath catching in his throat so suddenly his mouth dries up. He tugs his mask all the way down again, and fixes it firmly in place.

None of it matters anyway. Not a single bit of it. Not the way Soap looks at him like he's the most important thing in the room, not the way his face heats up when Soap punches his shoulder before they load out on a mission, and definitely not the way his heart pitter-patters oh-so quickly when Soap smiles at him when he says a stupid, corny joke.

None of that matters because the Scorpion grass in his dead mother's garden flopped over and went to hell when Ghost tried to care for them after she was gone, and so will Soap.

"Get out of yer head, Ghost."

Ghost flinches his head back, the sternness in Soap's tone sending him reeling.

"I'm was not-"

"Ye were. Ye had that 1,000-yard-stare glossed over yer eyes," Soap squints at him.

"I always have that stare, Soap. It's part of the fucking job," Ghost bites back.

"Sure, but when ye're out of it, it looks different."

"It does not-"

"Yes, it bloody does!" Soap sneers, the genuine anger in his face catching Ghost off guard. Ghost watches Soap as he sucks in a deep breath, clenching and unclenching his jaw, before swallowing behind the perfect columns in his neck. "It does. And I am sick and tired of losin' ye to yerself."

Ghost looks at him, really looks at him for any sign of- hell, he doesn't fucking know anymore. Resentment, maybe? Soap has every right to hate him.

Soap sighs, running his ungloved hand through his hair. His shoulders seem so weighted. Ghost wants to hold it all for him; carry everything even if the weight of it all breaks his bones twice over.

"Let's get inside, L.T." Soap reaches out his hand again, stronger this time and no longer shaking. "Before the rain makes ye more sick. We're both soaked to the bone and the fuckin' shack doesn't have any heating. Nothing 'sides a little fireplace. Hope ye don't mind strippin' down to yer tighty-whities near me."

It kills Ghost. It kills him that Soap doesn't speak a word of Ghost's several outbursts and breakdowns that have happened in the span of… of- Christ above, what time is it? How long has he been smothered in his head over Christmas lights?

Ghost takes a weary breath before he fully gets 'lost in his head' again.

The look of relief that breaks across Soap's face when Ghost strongly grasps his hand is enough to make the man's knees weak.

"Can't wait to see your Hello Kitty briefs again, Johnny," Ghost deadpans as Soap pulls them both to their feet. He knows Soap sees the way he sways with the rain, the way he uses the wall for support- Ghost can see it in his eyes. He's thankful, graciously thankful, when Soap doesn't mention it.

"That was one bloody time. Was Gaz's fault anyway," Soap grumbles, still holding Ghost's hand in his as he leads them inside.

As Ghost tentatively steps into the safehouse again, he realizes that Soap is a saint. Even though he's technically a mass murder, his sins are washed away with the simple act of rearranging a small shack.

Everything remotely Christmas themed is out of sight. No ornaments, no tree, no stockings, no snowmen, no Santas, no paper snowflakes- and not one single Christmas light. Ghost feels his face warm up a stupid amount as he tracks his eyes over the firepit.

The blood is gone.

Soap cleaned the fucking blood.

Ghost whips his head around, and in a rare moment- one of many so far tonight- his mouth is open without a sound coming out.

He wants to say something, really he does, but what can he say when Soap is busying himself with acting as if nothing has changed. As if this is the first time they've walked into the dump.

As if he isn't making a vile, almost forgotten feeling crescendo up in the empty void behind Ghost's sternum.

"Let's raid the place, yeah?" Soap says, looking over the layout. "There's the kitchen, living room, and bedroom. Though, that's fucking generous to call it that, eh?"

Soap is right; the living room and kitchen combined couldn't be more than 12 feet across and 10 feet wide. The bedroom is more of a closet with a pile of blankets against the wall. But, still, the kitchen has cabinets and the living room has a fireplace… that hopefully works.

"You search the kitchen, I'll see if the pit is functional," Ghost murmurs, ignoring how the words grate against his raw throat. Away from the rain, the chill of his soaked clothes is settling on his skin. He's ready to get warm and sleep away the pounding in his head.

"Copy that, L.T." Soap beams, sparing one brief glance before turning on his heels to ramble through the cabinets.

"And Johnny?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Johnny gives a lopsided smile that makes his eyes shine. "Of course, Simon."

#soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #soast #Literally what is their ship name #soap x ghost #ghost x soap #cod mw2 #Angst #hurt/comfort #Please I just want to hold their hands and tell them it's all okay #Also lmao hey I'm alive

[warrioreowynofrohan]

Would you do 3, 8, and 12 for the choose violence ask game, please?

3. worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

This gets the worst take award for someone making it up out of their own head and then treating it as canon. I have seen at least two people say they hate Thingol for ‘deliberately orchestrating the death of Denethor (king of the Green-elves) in order to incorporate the Green-elves into Doriath’s rule’. Something that never happened - Thingol and the Green-elves fought and defeated one orc-army but Denethor was cut off by another, and Thingol’s army was too late to rescue him when they came to defeat the second army. (This also gives the lie to the assertion/assumption that Thingol never fought and never left Doriath. He did both in the First Battle.)

The Green-elves, when they came to Beleriand, were welcomed by Thingol “as kin who long return”. Thingol arriving too late to save Denethor, but not too late to avenge him, is something that could foster as many tragic, heartbreaking imaginings as Maedhros being unable to reach or save Fingon at the Nirnaeth.

To give a sense of how bad this take is: imagine someone claimed they hated Maedhros because he deliberately abandoned Fingon in an attempt to gain the kingship of the Noldor. That would be a ludicrous misinterpretation of the Nirnaeth, but it would still have more evidence than the one about Thingol and Denethor. Thingol shows up; he defeats one army and then shows up to defeat the second one, but just too late to save his friend and ally. The Fëanoreans flee the Nirnaeth - all of them surviving - before they get anywhere near Fingon or his armies, and apparently also flee while their dwarven allies are still fighting (“the sons of Fëanor…drew together, and gathering a remnant of the Noldor and the Naugrim about them hewed a way out of the battle and escaped far away toward Mount Dolmed in the east. Last of all the eastern force to stand firm were the dwarves of Belegost…”).

Make up whatever headcanons you like, but “I think this character is awful and unsympathetic for [non-canon and counter-canonical thing I made up them doing]” is just nuts.

8. common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about

The typical (almost universal) characterization of Maedhros as 1) a master diplomat/politician; 2) a dad-figure to his brothers; and 3) extremely stoic and not given to showing his feelings, really has very little canon support, and most of what we do see of him indicates the opposite! A shortlist of things he is described as doing in canon:

Begging Fingon to kill him when he is chained to Thangorodrim

Again begging Fingon to kill him when Fingon can't cut him loose (the stoic, practical, ruthless type we see in most fanon would have come up with the 'cut my hand off' thing himself)

Seeking Fingolfin's pardon for the burning of the ships, and making what certainly comes across as a self-deprecating joke (calling Fingolfin "not the least wise" of the House of Finwë, implicitly in comparison to himself) in the process.

Defusing the tension around Thingol's limits on where the Noldor can settle by laughing at it.

Planning the Fifth Battle out of a sudden feeling of hope inspired by the success of Beren and Luthien's quest.

At the end, throwing himself into a fiery chasm in despair.

That's without even getting into the HoME material, where Maedhros' account of Morgoth's attack on Formenos is so melodramatic it circles around to being ridiculous.

This does not come across as a stoic person who continually conceals and buries his emotions. I don't have issues with that characterization existing, but it's strange for it to be so universal that you virtually never see a Maedhros who isn't defined by it.

With regard to his brothers, we definitely do see him engaging in deliberate brother-wrangling in Beleriand, because he needs to in order to keep the peace, but he's only successful at it as long as they're all in relatively close proximity (see, Celegorm and Curufin going off-leash in Nargothrond), and after the Nargothrond incident, not even then (see: Maedhros being unable to stop them from threatening to kill Thingol, and not substantively punishing them for anything they did). And the "team dad" thing is nowhere in evidence.

Lastly, I would say there's enough in the Silmarillion to say that Maedhros is at least decent at political management - and more importantly, that he has enough humility to do what's necessary to keep the Noldor united (first abdicating the kingship, and then moving his brothers to where they'll be in less contact with other people and make more trouble). But he doesn't consider whether a nominal acknowledgement of Thingol's kingship of Beleriand might smooth relations over at the start, he doesn't make any attempt to apologize or make restitution for the kinslaying even after Thingol learns about it, he at no point in canon attempts to negotiate for the Silmaril or offer anything in return for it (yes, the Oath is presumably involved in that). Treating the Nirnaeth of all things (a battle which is lost largely because a large part of his allies turn out to be traitors, and in which two of the largest kingdoms in Beleriand refuse to participate due to personal grievances against his family, and where his only major elven ally is the guy who's ride-or-die for him regardless of anything) as evidence of diplomatic skill is particularly strange! his sole wholly positive achievement re: the Union of Maedhros is the alliance with the dwarves. Which is not nothing, but also not enough to support the "master diplomat and would have been an awesome king" assumption. In terms of Noldor-Sindar relations, the ones who stand out are Finrod (of course) and, far less acknowledged, Turgon - Gondolin is a mix of Noldor and Sindar, and that the Sindar are willing to choose to follow him to a hidden kingdom even at a time when Beleriand is largely at peace says a lot.

I'm not actively opposed to the usual characterization of Maedhros, but I'm somewhat frustrated (and getting bored) with it being the only one we see when it seems almost entirely fanon-created and there's so much space for other portrayals.

12. unpopular character you like and why more people should like them

Mandos! It’s barely even really a case of fans emphasizing certain passages and detractors emphasizing others, many of the passages that make me like him are the ones other people dislike him for. I like what we see of him in "Laws and Customs of the Eldar". I like what he says regarding the Statute of Finwë and Míriel:

"We may indeed in counsel point to the higher road, but we cannot compel any free creature to walk upon it. That leadeth to tyranny, which disfigureth good and maketh it seem hateful. Healing by final Hope, as Manwë has spoken of it, is a law which one can give to oneself only; of others justice alone can be demanded. A ruler who discerning justice refuseth to it the sanction of law, demanding abnegation of rights and self-sacrifice, will not drive his subjects to these virtues, virtuous only if free, but by unnaturally making justice unlawful, will drive them rather to rebellion against all law. Not by such means will Arda be healed."

And, continuing from this, I like his reaction to Finwë's decision to stay in the Halls and allow Míriel to return to life:

"It is well that thou desirest not to return, for this I should have forbidden, until the present griefs are long passed. But it is better still that thou hast made this offer, to deprive thyself, of thy free will, and out of pity for another. This is a counsel of healing, out of which good may grow."

It's two sides of the same coin: that justice means working with a flawed world and giving people their due even if the choices they are making are not the ideal ones, because self-sacrifice is not something that can be compelled or demanded. But he's happy - we rarely see him happy, but he is happy about Finwë's decision - when people choose something better than mere justice. And that's not something seen in most literature from characters represented as the literal personification of Justice!

And, also in the Statue, I want to note what he says about Eärendil:

"I say to you that the children of Indis shall always be great, and the Tale of Arda more glorious because of their coming. And from them shall spring things so fair that no tears shall dim their beauty; in whose being the Valar, and the Kindreds both of Elves and Men that are to come shall all have part, and in whose deeds they shall rejoice. So that, long hence when all that here is and seemeth yet fair and impregnable, shall nonetheless have faded and passed away, the Light of Aman shall not wholly cease among the free peoples of Arda until the End. When he that shall be called Eärendil setteth foot upon the shores of Aman, ye shall remember my words."

And then people act like he's not pleased when Eärendil shows up! He very much is; it's his role to bring up the Doom so that it can at last be lifted, but he knows that this is the moment when it will be lifted through Eärendil's action.

I also have no issue with his "Not the first" line in response to Fëanor's line "I shall break my heard and I shall be slain; first of all the Eldar in Aman." I take it as a hint: You are not the only thing that matters in the world, think of something other than yourself for a second. There's nothing stopping Fëanor from turning around and saying "What do you mean by that?" and I think Mandos would give him an answer if he did - but Fëanor is too absorbed in the Silmarils to even consider what it might mean.

I moreover like the description of how Elves can return from the Halls: But his dooms in such matters are not uttered in haste; and even the most guilty are long tested, whether they may be healed or corrected, before any final doom is given. If an Elf is staying in the Halls permanently, it's not just a matter of their deeds in life, no matter how bad those are, but a matter of them sticking to those deeds and refusing to change or heal even when they're offered the opportunity.

#tolkien #the silmarillion #thingol #maedhros #mandos #namo #denethor (elf)

[lilacliquors]

❝  i don’t want to have to think or have control.  just,  do what you want with me.  if something is too much i’ll let you know.  trust me.  ❞ with pillow princess Nancy wheeler or Jonathan pleeease

your doll

pairing: nancy wheeler x reader

prompt: ❝  i don’t want to have to think or have control.  just,  do what you want with me.  if something is too much i’ll let you know.  trust me.  ❞

word count: 566

contents: 18+ minors dni, dom!reader / sub!nancy, strap on sex, penetrative sex, praise kink, begging, pwp

notes: omg we're back!!! tumblr has kindly fixed my issues on my blog so i can see asks on my laptop and my posts are appearing in the tags again! and we're back to 1000 followers <3 i missed you guys sm <33

you and nancy didn't get much alone time. but when you did, you made sure to spend it wisely. and spending it wisely meant that your parents were out for the weekend, so you could spend the weekend in bed, with the door locked, and nothing between you two.

the way she looked up at you made your heart race. no one had ever looked up at you with such loving, yet lustful, eyes. she was your little pillow princess, and it was just how you liked her. you loved making her feel good, it was all that mattered to you. she worked so hard, dealt with shitty men all week, the least you could do was provide a few orgasms ...

you had your hands on her hips, just massaging her skin ever so gently. she looked spent, and yet she begged you for more.

"nance," you whispered, your thumbs rubbing over her skin. "you need a break? you look exhausted."

she shook her head as she gazed up at you.

"i've had the shittiest week at work. you have no idea how much i need this," she whispered.

"you sure?" you asked?

❝  i don’t want to have to think or have control.  just,  do what you want with me.  if something is too much i’ll let you know.  trust me.  ❞

you bit your lip, and then you nodded. if that was what your naughty princess wanted, that's what she would get.

one of your hands left her her hips and wrapped around the silicone cock attached to the harness around your hips. slowly, you pushed into her, her little gasps and sighs music to your ears.

when she nodded, you began to thrust in and out of her, setting a steady rhythm with your hips. she moaned quietly, her eyes fluttering shut and her back arching off of the bed. god, she was gorgeous.

"such a good girl for me," you whispered, leaning down to kiss and suck on her neck. "you take my cock so well, don't you?"

"mhm, mhm. oh shit ... harder, please ... " her voice was breathy, and you smirked. you nodded, and while keeping your rhythm, you applied more pressure to your thrusts.

she whimpered and whined as you fulfilled her request, and she nearly squealed as you reached down to tease her clit with your thumb.

"aw, what's the matter, baby? too much?" you taunted, and she shook her head. you chuckled, and you continued to thrust into her, kissing along her neck as you did so.

"mm, such a pretty girl. my pretty girl," you purred.

"your pretty girl," she echoed, and a soft moan left her lips. you could tell by the way her chest rose and fell that she was close. you teased her clit as you thrust into her, her gasps turning into whines, turning into panting breaths.

"oh ... oh my god ... oh my god — !"

"cum for me, princess. cum for me," you whispered.

she cried out, her hips lifting off of the bed as she came around the silicone cock. you caressed her face as she came undone, stroking her cheek with your fingers while her eyes shut.

"how's my girl doing?" you asked, leaning down to peck her lips.

she was quietly for a moment, and then she looked up at you.

"ready for more."

#atomwritez #nancy wheeler smut #nancy wheeler x reader #atomwritez 1k special #1k spicy special

[relax-and-read-on]

2024, Hello!

What a year it has been, right?

I usually try to talk only about warhammer 40k on this blog. I don't like mention if my personal life, or politics, or even other fandom, really. That said, this year was... Far from easy for me. Health problem, job problem, finances, politiques, (shout out to all the queer french canadian who are also scared shitless!), moving in a new place, insane inflation....

I had given myself the huge objective to publish 200k words for 2023. At the end, this is the result:

108k words. You can also add about 50k of unpublished original work. Here is the list of fic that I have published/updated in 2023 (by view count), and some little thought/insight on them:

Agency - My big fem primarch au. You can really see me grow, if you read it from start to finish. It's been *years* since I started this fic, at this point, the ending that I have planned is like my white whale. One day.... One day, I will defeat it. Terribly hard to write but SO satisfying

Tales of different lives - if Agency is my dark nemesis, than my planet swap is coming home to a soft bed. It's so easy and FUN to write that au. I know not everyone like the lighter take toward the world this one take, and that's ok. Sometime... It's just nice, to have softer things, especially after such a year.

Phantom of the (warhammer?)-pera - I am begging you. On my knees. Read this one. It's my fav thing I have ever written. It's so much fun. It's totally INSANE and I loved every moment of it. I want to go back and fight the formatting again, to finish implanting all the notes. They are SO much fun. Also has AMAZING cover art by @skrankku !

Five times People tried and failed to Seduce Roboute Guilliman to Chaos... - Absolute surprised to me how people loved that fic. Ngl, I was actually sick/very depressed when I wrote it, but it warm heart that other enjoyed it.

This Once Nearly Was Mine - This one does not count, it's @kingwithpaintedfingers AMAZING Vulkan's POV to Castle of Glass, my Mortarion/Vulkan soulmate au. I am amazed and humbled to be able to work with such a great writer, and be able to call you a friend. I HIGHLY recommend all their work.

Trust - I had to actually check that one, and turns out, it was the update to my Talos/Septimus fic! Can you believe that I forget my own fic?! I am silly. Surprisingly delightful. I need to write more of this ship.

Birdcage - written for an exchange, specifically for @funboxsupreme , another criminally good writer. This fic, in my humble opinion, is some of my best writing. Extremely dark, I also SOMEHOW managed some really cool "special effect" in it, and I am PLEASED with myself.

In the Garden - a VERY quick and horny piece for Nan, a PROLIFIC writer whom I cannot help but be in awe of (also heeeelp I don't have your tumblr, poke me and I will tag you!)

Old Crows and Young Cardinals - This is an interesting one! This fic seem barely started, but it's mostly because the rest of it require MASSIVE planning and careful writing, as it deal with time travel and has a stupidly complex plot. I cannot wait to unveil more of it.

By proxy - hehehe, another really cool gift for a friend, this time for Lieara/Allyria! Even if this list is making me realise how many of yall tumblrs I don't know. I feel like an Old man trying to remember phone number lmao.

Day 2 - Bootworship and Sister of battle - a fun little fic part of the "40 kink for 40k" challenge that I NEED to continue, started by the wonderful @iapetusneume . Also.... Lesbian. Need more Lesbian.

The only way - A other fic that I had completely forgotten that I wrote. It's such a strange feeling, to reread your own words and go "I did this??" It's not bad, but it was written during one of those hard period of the year, and as such feel extra alien to me.

Day 1 - Geneseed, but sexy and Homeworld - another 40k for 40 kink fic, this one was a LOT of fun to write! Amd kinda specifically made for @bobthebobhere , another good friend in this fandom!

The miracle of science (and children) - a gift fic that was supose to be part of an exchange, but took too long! This one is for @shootertron-stuff , an artist that I highly respect and love! If you like it kinky, go tead their stuff, they are an inspiration.

In the Lion's Den. - Hahahahahaha lmao. So, fun fact: On reddit, there is a user who post horribly misogynist/homophobic Tau torture porn with his OC chapter. I got mad, and wrote a spit gay porn fic of his OCs. To his credit, he rolled with it and was amused at it. I still don't like him, and never will, but I have his blessing to keep it up, so!

The Bird, The Wolf and the Keeper - a little experiment, in poetry format fic. I liked it well enough, and will attempt some more in 2024 I think :)

(A secret fic exchange, yet to be revealed)

(another one!)

So.... 18 fics total. I think there should be pride in that. I like the variety of them, even if I want to push out more, do more unique and stranger fic, for 2024. It was a difficult year, but creating so much made it easier, made it more worth it. I am... Happy, with it all.

If you have questions about my fics, now is the time! Otherwise, I will see you soon, with more writing, and more joy in sharing.

I wish you all a wonderful year 2024, better than the last, safety, comfort, and peace. May we all had fun in this fandom!

#warhammer 40k #warhammer #wh40k #warhammer fanfic #warhammer community #my fics #my fanfic

[fanfictilltheend]

Languidly (A 420 🍃🚬 and light sub!Joel fic) [Joel Miller/Y/N]

Ao3 Link

Masterlist

A/n: Hi I know I've literally been promising this on my tumblr for over a month but here it is! Please let me know how you liked/if you liked this fic!! Sub!joel was a little unexpected but just sort of happened so let me know your thoughts on that! I don't think there's enough of him! Wrap it before you tap it, folks! @pr0ximamidnight added to this 420 prompt I created by saying: "I think having Ellie search for her stash and then come to find Joel to ask if he’s seen it, only to walk in on them giggly and baking with flour everywhere and he’s got his shirt off and reader is wearing it would be so cute. She’d be so daughter about it like “i cannot believe you took my weed. You’re the worst….wait are those brownies” (sorry I changed it to chocolate chip cookies lol I was craving them!)

Warnings: 18+ smut do not interact if not 18+ penis in vagina sex, recreational drug use, marijuana, smoking, sub!Joel, very light sub/dom, afab!you, age difference (Y/N is 35 & joel is 61), unsafe sex, fluff, Ellie appearance

Summary: Joel and Y/N get high together and light sub!joel happens 💕

“C’mon, Joel, we have to!” you beg, pouting a little (which you know Joel has a hard time resisting). “Now that you’ve told me Ellie has a stash there’s no backing out! It’s 4/20 for chrissakes!” “Y/N,” Joel replies a little sheepishly. “I ain’t sure stealing Ellie’s joints is exactly the best idea..."

“C’mon, Joel, we have to!” you beg, pouting a little (which you know Joel has a hard time resisting). “Now that you’ve told me Ellie has a stash there’s no backing out! It’s 4/20 for chrissakes!”

“Y/N,” Joel replies a little sheepishly. “I ain’t sure stealing Ellie’s joints is exactly the best idea.”

“You really think she’ll miss two if what you’re telling me about how large of a stash it is is true?” you press. “I mean, how does one nineteen-year-old get that much weed these days anyways?” “It ain’t that hard to grow,” Joel points out, slightly amused at your ignorance. “Smuggled a ton of it in and out of the Boston QZ in my day.”

“So we’re doing it then, right, Mr. Experienced-Smuggler? This will be like a trip down memory lane. Another easy job, if you will. Okay?”

“Aw, what the hell,” Joel finally gives in with a smirk and you do a little victory dance around the living room. 

“What does 420 have to do with weed anyway?” you wonder aloud as you make your way to Ellie’s small garage house. 

“Legend has it, it has to do with police codes when they used to call in a pot possession or some such bullshit.”

“Arresting people for weed? Even in the old days? Seems cruel and unusual.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Joel shrugs.

He reaches out a large hand to knock on Ellie’s door. When you two don’t hear a reply, he takes out a set of keys and unlocks it.

“We’re in!” you giggle, looking around Ellie’s messy, cozy little home. “Where does she keep it? Ellie is so gonna kill us if she finds out.”

“Under the bed,” Joel grunts and bends down, clutching at his – you’re sure – aching back.

“Careful there, old man!” you smirk. “I got it!”

You bend down quickly, ass in the air, and reach down to pull out a shoebox. Inside it is about 15 joints, a few trading cards, and a picture of Ellie and Joel. You think that’s very sweet. You love how amazing Joel can be with Ellie.

Then you feel someone swat your ass!

“Hey!” you exclaim.

“I ain’t that old I can’t pick up a goddamn box off the floor!”

“That remains to be seen!” you challenge. “Got a light?” you ask, clutching two joints in your hand.

“In the kitchen,” Joel grins, a rare sight on his usually serious, handsome face.

***

Joel is sprawled out along the couch in the living room and you are in the armchair next to him, giggling uncontrollably as he takes a long puff on his joint. 

He sighs deeply.

“You know something? My back don’t hurt,” he reports with a smile.

 “Wow, I am so happy for you, babe,” you reply genuinely. “Did you know I think you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever laid eyes on?”

“Aaand that must be the pot talking,” he chuckles, taking another drag on his blunt, the smoke curling and billowing up into the air.

“Nuh-uh,” you insist, staring a little dreamily at the outline of his shoulders and the tight planes of his flannel-covered chest. “It’s the truth. You’re one tall glass of water.” 

“Not too bad yourself, babygirl,” Joel replies, smirking. “Now, come sit in my lap, why don’t ya? I’m feeling a lil lonely.”

“We can’t have that!” you exclaim in concern. 

And the truth is, you don’t need to be told to come over twice. The weed and Joel have been making you pretty horny honestly so you scamper over and sit right down on top of him and lean in for a kiss. His lips meet yours languidly and you sigh into his mouth. You feel his fully hard cock poking into your front through his jeans and you moan softly, realizing that the weed must be making him horny too since it usually takes a bit to get him all the way hard.

“Is that something in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” you ask through a snicker.

“Shuddup,” Joel smirks, leaning in for another kiss.

“Can we fuck, babe? I’m so horny for you,” you whine, pulling away from his mouth.

Joel grins up at you a little stupidly.

“How did I get so lucky to be asked such a question?” he chuckles, his eyes shining. “Of course we can, but kiss me more first, sweetheart. Go on.”

You lean down and plant one gently on his stubbly cheek first and then on his surprisingly soft and warm lips and you two make out like teenagers for a while. But you get a little greedy and start rutting against Joel’s denim-clad thigh. 

“Damn, baby,” Joel smirks. “Someone’s turned on, rubbin’ up on me like that...”

“Need you, Joel,” you reply, reaching to undo the clasp of his belt. “Don’t lie. You’re hard too.”

“Very,” Joel agrees gently. “Come sit on my cock, babygirl.”

Eagerly, you pull off your jeans and Joel takes off his own, giggling slightly. You’ve never seen Joel, a stoic, grown-ass man positively giggle before, and yet, here it is happening! You smile wide too as you unbutton his flannel and pull off his shirt to reveal his broad, toned, hairy chest and barely-there belly. You lean down to give it a kiss and Joel actually blushes! He reaches to pull off your tank top and bra and then down to pull off your faint, orange panties. He admires your tits, the pretty V-shape of your pussy. You take off his blue, plaid boxer briefs and bend down to kiss the tip of his cock to tease and he groans deeply.

“Wanna be inside you,” he complains, squirming a little, lifting your chin to meet his lips and you kiss him back hard, biting his bottom lip ever so slightly. 

“So bossy,” you remark.

“‘S ‘cause I’m not gonna last long on account of how smokin’ you are, little lady,” Joel replies very sincerely. 

You beam and it’s your turn to giggle like a schoolgirl. He grins stupidly too. He is so silly!

You position yourself over him and sink down slowly on his erect cock inch by glorious inch. You squeeze down around him, feeling so full, and you both let out a delicious moan. He buries his head in your tits and begins to suck them. It feels so good, the high making every wave of pleasure more intense, but then he returns upward, kissing up the length of your neck, tickling you ever so slightly. 

“Fuck, babygirl,” he slurs into your ear. “Like you bein’ on top sometimes…Now bounce that sweet ass of yours on my cock.”

“You just want me to do all the work,” you smirk. “Lazy-ass.”

“Me? Lazy?” Joel grins. “Say all you want, sweetheart, but we both know I know how to take charge…Want you to this time though. Will you do that for me, baby?”

“Of course, sweet boy,” you say experimentally, kissing his forehead and beginning to move on top of him.

Joel positively keens in pleasure in a way you’ve never quite heard or seen before. New kink unlocked? You wonder in amusement. You should have known he’d want you to take control every once in a while just like how when you cuddle he likes to be the little spoon sometimes. You truly learn something new every day!

You start bouncing on his dick at a faster pace and Joel whines.

“You like that, baby?” you whisper softly in his ear.

“Yes, Y/N,” he moans in his deep southern drawl. “ Please .”

God, the way he begs for you in his heady voice unlocks something inside of you too and gets you so hot and bothered you move on top of him even faster.

You kiss his cheek, his forehead, his nose, his throat, his Adam's apple as you go up and down on his impossibly hard cock, feeling so full.

“So good for me, honey,” you whine, back to his ear, nuzzling the shell of it. “I’m getting close…”

“Want you to cum so hard, Y/N,” he says dreamily. “Please cum on my cock, babygirl. Wanna please you, make you so happy.”

So sweet! You think. You know he wants to make you happy with every movement he makes towards you. It’s always been that way. Joel is not one for words, but his actions always let you know you are loved and cherished.

“Of course, baby,” you whisper. 

He’s beginning to get desperate. You can feel it in how eagerly he meets you with his thrusts, how his rough hands dig into your arms. 

And you do cum! You contract around Joel’s thick prick and let out a yell of absolute pleasure as it engulfs you and stars dance around in your eyes. Everything feels numb in the best possible way! You feel like you could float all the way to the moon… 

“Y/N, I’m ‘onna cum,” Joel moans urgently against your ear.

“That’s okay,” you reply reassuringly with a fucked-out grin, kissing him sloppily. “Cum for me, sweetheart.”

Joel lets out a shout and cums hard inside you, filling you with his seed. You moan alongside him until he comes down from his high, feeling him start to go soft inside you. 

“What do you say, baby?” you ask, reaching up to pull a handful of his brown, greying hair ever so gently and Joel lets out a vulnerable whine you’re not used to hearing from him.

“Thank you, Y/N,” he replies obediently, staring a little shyly into your eyes. 

You decide you like his timidness, this soft side of Joel Miller and it makes your heart flutter. You let go of his hair and kiss his forehead.

“That sure was something!” you giggle enthusiastically, the last tendrils of the high still pumping through your blood.

“Good shit,” Joel agrees with a nod, not quite meeting your eyes. “Was that…okay with you ‘n all?”

“Yeah, babe,” you respond, smiling. “I loved it. Anything you need that’s what I’m here for, didn’t you know?”

Joel doesn’t say anything, but he grins.

“You aren’t feelin’ hungry by any chance, are ya?” he asks after a moment.

“Someone got the munchies?” you tease, pinching his cheek a little. 

He reaches up and swats your hand away.

“Maybe so?”

“You know what sounds really good right now?” you ask. “Like really, really good?”

“Whatchya thinkin'?” he asks.

“Chocolate–No! Better than that!--Chocolate-chip cookies!” you exclaim, your eyes getting wide and glazing over a little.

Joel laughs.

“You know I think we may have just the ingredients! Follow me.”

***

The door slams open and Ellie barges into the kitchen through the back door.

“Joel, have you seen my fucking–” but she cuts herself off as she sees the two of you.

You’re both snickering and giggling uncontrollably at the kitchen counter, cooking supplies strewn throughout it – a bowl, eggs, chocolate chips, and more – and you’re both covered in the flour that you keep lobbing at each other through fits of hysterical laughter. Joel forgot to put his shirt back on and his dark, hairy chest is out and looks almost like it’s been dyed white from the flour. You have a giant splotch on your cheek with the mark of two lips pressed together in the center of it as well as Joel’s big flannel on which is big enough to cover you like a dress. 

“Holy fucking shit,” Ellie smirks, putting two and two together, smiling wide enough to look genuinely amused. “I cannot believe that you two stole my blunts. What the fuck are you doing? Did a fucking tornado go off in here?”

“Hi, Els!” you exclaim. “We’re just making some cookies. D’you want some?”

“‘S not that bad,” Joel concurs, white flour in his beard. “How was patrol, kiddo?”

“And to think I thought that you old fuckers didn’t even know what 4/20 was,” she snickers. 

“Hey!” you say through a snort. “I am only thirty-five, you little whippersnapper. ‘Old fucker,’ my ass! I mean you had so much it was only fair to share.”

“Yeah!” Ellie rolls her eyes. “‘Share.’ Sure. You know, I’m mighty pissed ‘n all, but – wait, are those chocolate-chip!?...You wouldn’t need someone to lick the spoon now, would ya?” 

A/n: Let me know what you thought! Send asks and prompts here on tumblr!! And lmk if you want to be tagged in anything ❤️

Masterlist

#ao3 #fanfiction #joel #joel miller #the last of us #the last of us smut #tlou #joel miller fluff #joel miller smut #sub!joel #subby!joel #joel miller x reader #joel miller one shot #joel miller x y/n #joel miller/y/n #joel miller/reader #joel miller x oc #smut #drug use #recreational drug use #marijuana #smoking #pedro pascal #my fic

[fetishfairytales2]

Besties 8 (Story)

This was originally written as a continuation of a story by @wittlesissyb4by called Besties. Check out all their fantastic stories on Tumblr and SubscribeStar.

—————

"Ain't happening, piglet!" I scoffed, as I pressed the vibrator against the super sensitive head of his pathetic clitty. His eyes shot back in his skull, groaning and wailing in a combination of ecstasy and torment, wrestling with the restraints as sweat dripped down his flushed face. "But don't stress, Brandi, darling, we're just revving up!"

Preparing to step up his torment, I dipped my hand back into the bedside secret stash. "Well, well, well..." I whispered, charging the air with delicious dread. "Seems Mommy likes it when Daddy plays dirty, huh?" I plucked out the bondage tape, holding it in one hand while maintaining the vibrator's relentless assault. I tore a couple of strips and got to work, wrapping them secure tightly around his twitching, helpless sissy twig and the relentless vibrator.

I took a hot minute to soak in the pathetic sight of him. He was twitching all over, that sissy dick bouncing up and down as if begging for attention. The sheer desperation in his whimpers was just golden. "Aw, what's the matter, Brandon?" I spit out, smirking at his sissy ass. "Lost control, huh? Ugh, such a weakling." 

Back at it with the toy, pressing it against his stiff cock. "So, are you picturing Heather and Conner together now, huh?" I could see a look of dread and excitement in that sorry excuse for a man's eyes. "Unlike your sorry ass, Conner's showing Heather what a real fuck feels like!" His humiliation grew as I laughed at him. "That's why you're stuck here in diapers and he gets to fuck your girlfriend!"

I wagged my finger in his face, watching him moan deeper. “I swear, Brandi, if you dare to spill even a smidge of pre-cum, I'll fucking lose it on you." I put on my best bitchy face, smirking down at him. "You better behave if you ever want a chance to make ‘cummies’ again," I chuckled, mocking him with air quotes. "Got it, princess?" 

As Brandi there squirmed like a worm on a hook, I made myself comfy on the bed, resting my head on his pathetic chest. While he moaned and groaned in his pleasure/pain bubble, I geared up for some reading. "Heather's message time, sissy boy," I reminded him, winking.

"Damn, Heathers been a busy bee," I couldn't help but gawk at the flood of texts on my screen. Poor Brandi choked on his gag, wishing he was in Conor’s shows. The level of details in the texts I’m sure pinched him a little more. Boy, I was having a ball.

“Let’s see what Mommy says,” I winked and cleared my throat, doing my best impression of Heather. “‘Connor just loves how I’m a little cum slut for him. And the kinky shit he enjoys, oh my God girl! Like when I swallow his dick all the way to his balls," I paused, hooking Brandi with a wicked grin. “Apparently they’re trying new things too…” I stopped for a minute to build the anticipation in Brandi’s eyes "...anal. She says he drools over her tight ass, he just can’t get enough of it.” I tried to get as dirty as possible, wanting to tear apart Brandi’s heart and still swell his cock in it’s cage. “She wants you to know that while she would never, EVER, lower herself to let you fuck her ass, 'Daddy Conner can plow her backdoor anytime he pleases'!" I sniggered, empathy or pity miles away from my mind. Brandon's humiliation thrilled me no end as Heather's texts added fuel to the fire. 

"Got it, Brandi? This is what your sweet innocent girlfriend does with real studs." I flaunted the phone in my hands, detailing the fun sissy Brandi was losing out on. "She says she loves to be on her knees, worshiping his massive cocks. Her lips explore every inch, she says she would even rim his ass if he wanted. She says he's the alpha male, that she loves when he puts her on her knees, grabs her by the hair, and forces her to deep throat his massive cock. It turns her on so much when such a strong man is making her plead for him to jizz all over her face and tits.”

There I was, staring down at Brandon’s gross, ugly, sissy face. He had a disgusting mix of enjoyment tangled up with a last ditch effort to hold on to his long-lost manhood. "Seriously Brandi,” I rolled my eyes. You really thought you ever deserved Heather? Pathetic." This just about did it. I could see him getting as rigid as might be possible, his hands clawing white-knuckled at the bedspread. Poor sissy bitch was going to cum hearing about his girlfriend fucking another guy!

"Aww, relax, Brandi," I added in the very same sweet voice, holding his gaze like he was on a leash. "Guess what? Your sexy ass girlfriend has gotten lucky. She’s on to bigger and better things! Now she’s Conner's fucktoy.” I laughed; No shit sissy, how great is that? A serious improvement from the nightmare of your worthless ass humping on top of her for 30 seconds before spooging your sissy goo on her belly. She gets off every single time with him, can you believe that? Heather told me that you had never given her a single orgasm.” I leaned in, licking a tear from his cheek, loving how destroyed he looked. “She had nothing but lousy, fake moans for you every single time! You can't hold a candle to a real man like Conner, can you?" My lips curled in a wild smirk, and I could sense his orgasm coming quickly. "Heather owns you, but guess what? Conner fucking owns her. Guess that means you’re both his bitches!”

God, the loser was quaking like a leaf and his pitiful excuse for a dick was throbbing pathetically. "Got a problem, sissy Brandi?" I teased. The poor thing nearly creamed his Pampers hearing about how Heather had turned him into a cuck. I pressed up against him, my chest smothering his face while my hand held that buzzing toy against his sad little sissy clit. 

He was like a puppet on my string, his body jerked on the brink of the sissygasm. The loser's eyes were bugging out of his skull - a hilarious sight as he suffered. "Come on, what’s the issue sissy?" I taunted, close enough to feel his pathetic panting against my skin. My own arousal was spiking as I got more wicked by the second. Licking his ear, my other hand sneaked into my panties, feeling extra naughty. Humiliating Brandon was pure ecstasy, sending thrilling shivers straight down to my swollen clit. I wanted to overpower him completely, make him crumble entirely.

“Mmm,” I moaned as I played with my clit, taking my hand out of my panties, my fingers slick with my own arasal. I ran my wet fingers over Brandon’s face and through his hair. “That’s it Sissy!” I cooed. "Cum for me, Brandi-Baby, let it all go," My voice was sugar sweet as I coaxed it out of him. Hah! As if that pathetic fool could ever cum like a real man. He was so close to losing it, his pleasure-painted face teetering on the edge of orgasm. "Show me what a tough guy you are, cum for your sweet cuckysitter!” I taunted, the thought of him caving to my demands making me even hotter. Turns out, there's nothing quite as amazing as taking a cocky jerk and grinding him down into a subservient, simping, and squirming sissy

"Ugh, Brandon, you pathetic loser!" I sneered down at him, watching his spunk settle in his nappy - still trickling out from his puny pecker. "Really, Brandi? Getting your sick kicks from hearing stories about your gal getting down with a real man?" I hopped off his chest, plonking myself beside the shrunken sissy. I dipped a finger in his loser puddle, taunting him with the evidence. "Aw, look! You're just a sick, messed up little cucky, aren't ya, girlie?" My sadistic grin was unshakeable as I saw the panic flash of humiliation across his face. "Ahh, sweetie, you're going to have to be punished now," I chuckled, his dread washing over his face. "Should've listened to Ms. Lyndsey when she told you not to spunk everywhere, ya helpless slut!"

#humili sissi

[cambrioleur]

An imaginary conversation between a Lupin screenwriter and an average Tumblr fan

FAN: "Wow, I can't wait to see how Assane and Ben's relationship develops this season! I ship them so hard..." WRITER: "Oh, it'll develop all right. In a way nobody is going to see coming." FAN: "Okay, I'm liking what I'm hearing..." WRITER: "They'll be doing all their usual best-friend capers just like usual. And then..." FAN: "Oh my god, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes!" WRITER: "...Assane betrays Ben to the cops in order to save his mom who he hasn't seen since he was a kid." FAN: *gasps in horror* WRITER: "It's so great, right? Because he needs to make a sacrifice, so what could be better than sacrificing his best friend?" FAN: "I -- I don't see how -- why -- " WRITER: "Clearly you're speechless. That's good, that's what we want." FAN: "But like -- we'll get an intimate exploration of Ben's feelings after going through such a soul-crushing event, right?" WRITER: "No, sorry, it doesn't look like we'll have time. We have a fun friendly-enemy Assane/Guédira storyline to get to, plus Claire discovering that Assane is still alive and falling back in love with him, and then we need to tie up the main plot with Assane's mom...Yeah, no, Ben's just gonna sit in jail for the second half of the season. I think he has, what, four scenes? Oh, I almost forgot to mention, he gets beaten up pretty badly in there" FAN: *wails* WRITER: "We don't see what happened, though. He just has awful scrapes on his face when Claire visits him." FAN: "He -- he gets visited by Claire?" WRITER: "Yeah, she manages to get the truth out of him. You know, that Assane isn't dead. It's actually very heartwarming. But boy, if you thought Ben was already at rock bottom..." FAN: "For the love of god, does Assane visit him? Like, in disguise or something??" WRITER: "Let's see...no, he doesn't. But I do have him sending Ben a steak." FAN: *brain breaking* WRITER: "You know, 'cause prison food is terrible." FAN: "A STEAK??" WRITER: "Whoa, you don't sound too happy." FAN: "DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT ASSANE'S WAY OF APOLOGIZING FOR BETRAYING HIS BEST FRIEND WHO IS IN LOVE WITH HIM IS TO SEND HIM A FUCKING STEAK?!?!?!?!?!" WRITER: "Uh, who said Ben was in love with Assane? You know this isn't Good Omens, right? Anyway, it's a really good steak. With fries on the side." FAN: "But I need catharsis!! Do you know how devastating all of this is? Where is the heartfelt reunion where Assane falls to his knees and BEGS for forgiveness?" WRITER: "Sorry, emotional reunion scenes are reserved for Claire only. Anyhow I don't see why you're so upset, since Ben gets out of jail at the end of the season." FAN: *sobbing* WRITER: "But there's a twist where we cryptically imply that Ben might have turned against Assane, and that their relationship is irreparably damaged." FAN: *sobbing even louder* WRITER: "Man, I swear to god, you all are so hard to please."

#lupin netflix #assane diop #benjamin ferel #claire #youssef guedira #imaginary conversation