The Narrator: Come on, you have to sacrifice your life. I’m not asking you to do anything I wouldn’t do.
Stanley: You? You’d sacrifice your life for the good of everyone else?
The Narrator: No, I’d sacrifice YOUR life for the good of everyone else.
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Stanley: Did you know that people who sleep cuddling a pillow are most likely touch starved?
Chell: …Leave me the fuck alone man.
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Stanley: I made tea
Narrator: I don't want tea
Stanley: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea
Narrator: Then why are you telling me?
Stanley: It's a conversation starter
Narrator: That's a lousy conversation starter
Stanley: Oh is it? We are conversing. Checkmate
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The Narrator, talking to Stanley on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?
Stanley: You bet!
The Narrator: At what temperature?
Stanley: 535
The Narrator: That's the clock
Stanley:
The Narrator:
Stanley: 536
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Stanley: I poisoned someone’s coffee, but I completely forgot who’s it was.
Everyone: …
Narrator: Stanley, wait.
Stanley, lifting his mug to his lips: Hm?
Narrator: You’re the only person who drinks coffee.
(Mariella and Curator raise their mugs in silent agreement, showing off the tea that resides within)
Stanley: Oh.
Stanley: WAIT-
(Inspired by that one @mpils image)
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hey guys new hyperfixation. the stanley parable bbhhhhhwhhbhwghh
rbs r so appreciated plz and thanks meowwww
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Stanley: Man, I forget working in an office is a real job sometimes.
Narrator: Stanley... You WORK in an office.
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who in the stanley parable is this
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The Narrator: You’re giving me a sticker?
Stanley: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”
The Narrator: I’m not a preschooler.
Stanley: Fine, I’ll take it back-
The Narrator: I earned this, back off!
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Stanley: Narrator, what came first, the fruit or color orange…?
Narrator: Wh- Stanley it’s fucking 3am.
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The Narrator: "I could fix him" Please don't, it took a lot of work to fuck him up this bad.
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Chell: Truth or dare?
Stanley: Truth.
Chell: How many hours have you slept this week?
Stanley: …Dare.
Chell: GO TO SLEEP!
Stanley: I don't like this game. >:C
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Narrator : Stanley, are you drinking hydrogen peroxide?!
Stanley : It says H2O2! That means it’s the sequel to water!
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Narrator: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes
Curator: Wow, I've gotta hear this
Narrator: I was angry and envious of my neighbour, so I lazily seduced his bucket and ate all his groceries and didn't share
Curator: You forgot pride
Narrator: No, I'm pretty proud of this
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Curator: Why did you give Stanley a knife?
Narrator: He felt unsafe.
Curator: Well, now I feel unsafe.
Narrator: I’m sorry.
Narrator: Would you like a knife?
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"Stanley scrolled twitter instead of doing his job. Stanley is terminally online."
- The Narrator, probably
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