#trying to remember if i took meds today whoops

[quodekash]

FINALLY IM WATCHING THE ABAAB EPISODE 

i was so busy the last couple of days and the only moments i wasnt busy i was exhausted and fell asleep unwillingly (either that or i was having a mental breakdown but thats neither here nor there) 

ANYWAY IM HERE NOW, FOUR DAYS LATE BUT IM HERE 

note from the future: i mention how pretty everyone is a LOT in this episode. so take a shot of water every time i mention someone (or perhaps their hair) being pretty. stay hydrated, kids. 

now the question is. what the hell happened last episode because i have, once again, forgotten everything 

there was the thing that happened with thoop’s sister that i dont rly want to put in words because it disgusts me 

thoop apologised for what he said to/about guncher 

umm.... guncher had a sexy sexy scene at the end 

jack is still pretty and his hair is still pretty 

OH AND THREEZO KISSED, I REMEMBER THAT 

okay im all caught up, let’s get to it 

bro what the hell 

“i just love you” awwww 

“you love me every time you do me” noW HOL’ UP A SEC 

“come on cher, have sympathy for me” “Why would i do that?” “because im cute and adorable” he’s got me there. he is, in fact, very cute and adorable 

and pretty 

theyre all pretty 

why is everyone pretty 

guys im pan i cant deal with this rn 

AWWWW THE CHEEK KISSSSSS 

guys im a sucker for affectionate cheek kisses. i think akkayan broke me bc that cheek kiss in episode 10? jeez i am not okay. i think about that scene more than i am willing to admit. 

actually no, im willing to admit it 

i love akayan so much 

anyway, we’re not akkayaning rn, we’re abaabing 

NOOOO IT’S CHER’S LAST DAY AT WORKKKKK im almost certainly gonna cry 

weLL NOW ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS SOUNDWIN 

EVERY TIME I TRY TO FOCUS ON WHAT’S HAPPENING ON THE SCREEN MY BRAIN IS LIKE ‘ooo look at the brainrot hyperfixation people’ and im like BRO CONCENTRATE ON T H I S BRAINROT and my brain is like ‘nahhhhhhh we can focus on it laterrrrr, like when youre trying to do something important but realise you havent watched the episode yet and its been days, how about then!’ 

anyway 

i keep getting sidetracked 

sorry 

the adhd meds wore off hours ago and ive had two cups of hot chocolate today (one which i just had) so the brain thoughts are more everywhere than usual 

anyway 

anD NOW IM THINKING ABOUT YAK FROM MSP 

WILL I EVER GET A MOMENT OF PEACE 

JUST LET ME WATCH THE FREAKING EPISODE 

WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS BRAIN 

i got distracted for an hour and a half. whoops. (raise your hand if youre surprised? that’s right, no one raised their hands. anyway lets get back into this.) 

“can i join you” BRO IS SO HORNY RN, JEEZ 

GUYS WE FINALLY MADE IT TO THE INTRO, IT ONLY TOOK LIKE TWO HOURS 

okay so i just started crying 

i havent seen his hair on my screen in literally 11 days 

this is a really emotional moment for me 

i love his hair so much 

jack your hair is perfection 

someone needs to tell mike chinnarat that his hair is perfection 

i love him so much 

help 

hes also so pretty 

look at his prettiness 

hes so pretty 

anyway 

i love how he’s walking in on them gossiping about his best friend, he’s gonna talk them down 

(but also i can totally see him squealing and giggling and getting his nails done with them and gossiping a bunch about chergun (just not the mean kind of gossip)) 

HE’S SO PRETTY IM LITERALLY SOBBING 

HE’S SO PRETTY AND HES SO AMAZING AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 

AND HIS HAIR

hes so freaking perfect. holy hell. 

i love him 

i cannot express in words how much i love him 

HES SO ICONIC 

HES SO FREAKING ICONIC 

HIS HAIR AMPLIFIES HIS PERSUASIVENESS 

HE IS AMAZING 

HOLY FREAKING HELL 

“is anyone troubled much by our gossip?” FREAKING YES??? 

HIS SARCASM 

HIS SASS 

HIS PASSIVE AGGRESSION 

IDK IF ANY OF THOSE WERE THE RIGHT WORDS BUT ANYWAY 

I LOVE HIM 

i want to stare at him forever please 

PLEEEAAASEEE HE’S SO ICONIC 

how is he so pretty 

how is this man so pretty 

i love him 

hes so pretty 

hes so freaking pretty 

okay back to guncher 

i love them 

theyre so sweet 

JACK TIME AGAIN 

LOOK AT HIS HAIR 

ITS PERFECTION 

ILYSM JACK 

jack and aoi are amazing i love them 

they point the guncher moments out to each other 

also HIM CALLING HER SIS??? IM CRYING I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH 

“i mean the behavior report and the feedback field. i wrote a lot.” I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHES SO ICONIC PLEASE LET ME BE YOUR FRIEND AOI 

^D^ HE SMILEEEE 

“you kept the promise to him so well. you also promised me you wouldnt tell the boss that day. such a double standard” hes so dramatic i love him so much 

shes so pretty 

and hes also so pretty 

why is everyone pretty 

is that allowed 

are they allowed to be that pretty 

i love them all so much 

im too pan for this freaking show 

i love you ink 

COFFEE TIMEEEEE 

OH YEAH THEYRE GOING TO GO BUY COFFEE I FORGOT ABOUT THAT 

hes so confused and so pretty and so happy and so in love and i cant deal with this 

HEY 

NO 

BAD 

*sprays him with water* BAD 

GO WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND TO BUY COFFEE 

please 

“and why wont you be around?” lmao he desperately wants to hire him 

“yes boss” UM- 

k-kinky? 

“or should i call you babe” thATS THE NAME OF THE SHOW! 

i know nothing about this man but i think everyone loves him 

his name is yacht?? i think thats it 

anyway i know nothing about him but i agree. i love him. 

hes very pretty. 

and his hair is a pretty shade of blue 

WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW PRETTY 

AND LIKE A SPECIFIC TYPE OF PRETTY THAT MAKES ME SPECIFICALLY WEAK 

WHOEVER CASTED THIS FREAKING SHOW WAS OUT TO GET ME AND ME SPECIFICALLY 

PRETTY 

i may need to make a second post of commentary for this episode if i cant get myself under control 

im screenshotting too many pretty people because there are too many pretty people 

at this rate i will certainly go over the 30 image limit 

to me. please. just chill and appreciate and screenshot WITHOUT needing to put them on this tumblr post. you can do it. itll be hard but i believe in you. sincerely, me. (buTISHOULDTELLYOUTHATITHINKOFYOUEACHNIGHT. IRUBMYNIPPL- sorry) 

“see? ordering coffee is a piece of cake” well now i want cake 

WHY DOES CHER HAVE TO GO 

IM GONNA CRY 

I HATE GOODBYES 

OH HEY THAT RHYMED 

i wanna see thyme 

yes mentioning thyme was just an excuse to rhyme again, but i rly do miss seeing drake laedeke’s face. and also eyebrows. i love his eyebrows so much. 

PLEASE HES SO FREAKING PRETTY JACK IS SO PRETTY AND HIS HAIR IS SO PRETTY 

THE HUG 

I AM EMOTIONAL 

MY EMOTIONS ARE BIG 

WHY 

gun appearing out of nowhere and jack’s nervous smile- omg 

GHREKDBG ITS SO FUNNY WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY 

i have never seen less food on a fork before 

THE LOOKS THAT JACK AND AOI SHARE- OMG 

EVERYONES REACTIONS TO “both” PLEASEEE 

i know im tryna dial it down on the screenshots a little bit but his hair was at a great angle in this shot and i just had to share this 

you can see all the curls 

all the sections of his hair 

the messy curly perfection 

the fluffy poofy wonderfulness 

GUN SMILES SO MUCH NOW, HE’S SO SMILEY 

“i will not get to visit for a while” WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN 

everyone’s little “aoeeeee” when cher fed gun- i love this group so much 

CELEBRATING THE END OF THE INTERNSHIP WITH BBQ PORK WITH THE SQUAD, HELL YES, THAT MEANS THREEZO, IMMA TRY TO NOT COMMENTATE UNTIL THAT PART BC I WANT THREEZO ON MY SCREEN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, I MISSED THEM DEEPLY 

“can i take a quick nap” bro its your last day 

cher why do you keep looking sad 

what are you not telling us 

and can you please tell us 

please 

and thank you 

HELL YES OKAY ITS ALREADY BBQ PORK TIME WITH THE SQUAD 

AND THEYRE ALL SO PRETTY 

I LVOE JACK’S FACE IN THIS ONE FRAME 

I WONT PUT THE SCREENSHOT HERE THO BC I DONT WANNA WASTE MY LIMITED PHOTO SPACE 

BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH 

THREEZO 

“we didnt think he was gonna make it!” honestly, fair 

I LOVE SEEING HOW SMILEY JACK IS NOW 

it really brings out his hair 

(im kidding) 

HE MAKES ME HAPPY WHEN HE IS HAPPY 

seriously how is he so pretty 

jack how are you pretty 

and why are you pretty 

hes pretty while drinking a cup of water 

what the hell 

FHBFHBFHBFHFBHFBFHBFHBF I AM SUPRESSING THE SOUNDS OF DYING BECAUSE ITS 10:30 AND MY FAMILY ARE GOING TO SLEEP NOW BUT GOSH DARNNIT THREEZO ARE TOO CUTE 

“im drunk” “but you just had plain water” “im drunk in LOVE” GIUJEBRDNGOIREHNDL 

man has never seen a vegetable in his entire life 

THE WAY ZO SMILES AT THREE 

IM DYING, SOBBING, CRYING 

THEY’RE THE WORST 

I LOVE THEM 

“boss, if you’re shaped by our society, you’ll be great. no worries. you will do so great.” i wholeheartedly agree, their group is perfection 

I WANT TO IMPLANT THIS SCENE ON MY SKULL 

literally all i can think about rn is jack’s hair 

I LOVE CHERJACK’S FRIENDSHIP SO FREAKING MUCH 

MY BOYS 

GHRKDBGRHKDBG 

chergun are so pretty 

theyre both so pretty 

i love them 

theyre so pretty 

no i will not stop mentioning how pretty people are 

AWWW THE LITELL KISE 

“your latest kiss and every kiss from now until forever. im the only one allowed to kiss you.” GUERJDHJOB 

i love all the litell kisez 

look, i know all the translations say the same thing. but somehow it just feels like the the italian translations of it are always so much more beautiful and poetic than the english translations. 

im gonna go on a bit of a languages rant for a sec so if you dont care, ill end it by saying COCKADOODLEDOO in all caps like that so look for that and read from there 

anyway 

in english it’s “you’re my happiness, cher”, which, yeah, that’s super sweet 

but then the italian translation is “tu per me sei la felicità, cher” which means ‘you for me are the happiness, cher’ 

and then he says “the happiness that ive never had before” which is just all the feels at once 

but then it’s “quella felicità che non avevo mai raggiunto prima” 

which is ‘that happiness that i never had reached before’ WHICH IS JUST- 

its the way its worded 

i cant explain it 

its just better 

and then cher says “remember this.... if im your happiness, boss, it will never be gone” 

OR IN ANOTHER COUNTRY, HE SAYS “tieni a mente questo... se io per sono la felicità, capo, niente potrà portatela via” 

in other words, ‘hold in mind this... if i for i am the happiness, boss, nothing will be able to take it away’ 

DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN NOW??? 

"i will be your happiness forever” BORINGGG 

“io sarò per sempre la tua felicità” AWESOME 

‘i will be for always your happiness’ DUDE 

(also obviously these are all very literal translations, i havent bothered to switch around the order of words to fit the english language because you know what the english option is, i need you to understand just how poetic it is in italian) 

i freaking love it so much 

anyway COCKADOODLEDOO 

NOOOOOO WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THATTTT 

guys i think the bed is still on an angle 

theyre not listening to me 

its a safety hazard 

seriously 

fix the freaking mattress ITS NOT THAT HARD JUST SCOOT IT OVER A LITTLE BIT 

gun wakes up to cher gone and his intern badge thingy on the pillow 

i sure hope cher sent him a text or something 

cos otherwise hes gonna be real worried 

ive seen how this plays out in too many bls 

before you know it, gun’s gonna call his closest friends and eventually cher will show up, only to reveal that he put their friend’s nephew in a children’s home on the other side of the country, and they all freak out and it turns out cher was messing with them 

hypothetically of course 

just a situation i randomly pulled out of my head 

PHEW OKAY he left him a note 

gosh freaking darnnit its 11:15pm already (how did that happen), i started at 8pm (how did THAT happen), and im literally only halfway through the episode (HOW DID THAT HAPPEN), and im way too exhausted to continue. ill have to finish it tomorrow. 

BYE BYE FOLKS, I LOVE YOU, HAVE A WONDERFUL EVENING/DAY/WHATEVER, ILL SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR MORE REALLY BAD COMMENTARY WHERE I JUST SAY HOW PRETTY EVERYONE IS 

(btw i rly hope everyone managed to stay hydrated) 

#quodekash rambles about abaab #abaab #a boss and a babe #a boss and a babe series #a boss and a babe the series #guncher #chergun #jack's almighty curly hair #abaab jack's hair #abaab jack #threezo #zothree #ohmfluke #flukeohm #fluke pusit #ohm thiphakorn #forcebook #force jiratchapong #book kasidet #mike chinnarat

[newhologram]

New's Ketamine Diary 10.27.22 Underworld

Been almost a month since my last k + health update.

I waited 13 days for my next dose. I still felt great mentally and emotionally despite a resurgence of anxiety lately. Likely a combination of world events + new pain meds + changes happening around me. But no PMS depression. I had been feeling kind of emotional and was cranky last week but I was also kinda burnt out and stressed in general.

It's still so weird to go so long without my intense feelings of hopelessness. Especially considering things going on in the world. I feel so much deep sadness and anger, but that's more helplessness, I guess.

It felt like much longer than 13 days and the trip was definitely a little more intense, but not overwhelming. Very melty. I can't remember any visuals but there was a really good internal conversation about my future that made me feel excited.

The energy I feel lately is very much "Eight of Wands" in the tarot. Path is cleared and there are so many options for me to choose from. Easy to get overwhelmed, but also just really exciting.

After this one I waited a full 14 days. I was worried it'd be rough because of a recent death of a friend. I'm realizing it's the first time I've lost a friend and it's been a lot to process. The trip itself was fine, quite positive actually. But afterward I felt really dizzy and sick for a few hours.

The night before my next dose (15 days later), I narrowly avoided a random panic attack. It came out of my body from nowhere, like suddenly I was in danger. I wasn't able to take my rescue meds to calm it since I was already on pain meds from earlier but I got it managed with acupressure mat, deep breathing, etc.

With a lot more recent triggers, the k session was a little bit of a rough one. I was thrown into the late 80's and it was very film-like. I can't remember much of the trip, but it was definitely a lot of processing and releasing.

I stayed put in bed but even just shifting my position made me sick. I forgot my puke bowl so I had to crawl to the sink. Vomiting is still so weird on k. It's not as unpleasant since I'm dissociated but it's still gross.

It took me a few more hours to recover. I'm now reclined at my desk but not feeling well enough to eat more than a few pickled plums. All out of salt and vinegar chips, which are the healing elixir I crave after ketamine therapy.

The past month has been mostly a dissociated blur. Moving between anxiety, grief, rage, pain. Definitely burn-out from working myself too hard. But not depression and hopelessness. Yes, I want my physical and emotional pains to end but life is still worth living if they don't. I feel very excited for things to come, for a future I can grasp, and that motivates me to keep fighting for health care so that I CAN do what I want to do.

Still waiting to hear about the grievance that was filed for my thoracic MRI, but I did catch up with my PCP. She can't refill my Tramadol since my pain mgmt doc is giving me Suboxone. Tbh I hate the latter. It's stronger, sure, but it makes me sicker. Can't sleep, eat, go number two… I don't want to JUST be on that stuff. So my PCP is going to try to refer me to a pain mgmt doc who has experience with Tramadol (most I've seen don't prescribe it anymore at all). She said that she trusts I'm not abusing it since she knows how painful my conditions are and that the rate of my refills indicates I really am only using it for "bad days."

Still trying to make appt with new GI. Colitis has been really good lately though, I'm managing it well with my new supplement and pate routine. Period is supposed to be due today, so we'll see if I survive it since I can't take Suboxone or Tramadol on a ketamine day. Whoops.

#new's ketamine diary #teku

[cutemeat]

sunny neglecting the potential for mac to have written dennis annoying letters while he was away.. wasted.. its so sad

#i have a love/hate relationship w mac being a pathetic housewife w puppy eyes for denpis #its reductive and tired. after a while. or like from the beginning to be honest #it could be funny like. if tehy tapped into it right #has someone said this before? probably #trying to remember if i took meds today whoops #i just like mac and his letters thing #omg. kinda sidetracked but imagining him trying to do that w charlie qhen they were kids. #cuz letters just feel secretive and cool. and charlie cannot write but neither of them can so it doenst stick out as much #charlie starts mixing up pictures and words but hes like ‘no bro im writing in code...’ #parkers yuck puddle

[winterscaptain]

joint chiefs.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: aunt tali is back for the third night in a row (whoops). this can be a stand-alone, but the original intention was to follow up in the dark, a few years later. it’s totally not necessary to read that one beforehand, but it might be fun! as always, tell me if i’ve screwed up somewhere and i’ll fix it right away :) words: 3853 warnings: swearing, some good kissing, snark, a couple of references that you get bonus points for recognizing some vocab, just in case: CARD: child abduction rapid deployment team, SAIC: special agent in charge, taking six/on your six: covering your partner’s back

ao3 | masterlist | requests closed

+++

You rolled over when your phone rang, answering it right away. “Hotchner.” You checked your watch on its charger. Just after 6am.

Can’t kidnappers wait until the sun’s up?

“We need you in the field today. CARD presence has been requested in Chicago for an all-hands, time-sensitive joint case. Details are incoming, but may be slow to reach you - I have very few myself. When can you be in the office?” The voice of your section chief came at you rapid-fire, and you sat up, rubbing your eyes.

“Yes ma’am. I can be there as soon as my sister-in-law gets here for Jack. I’ll call her now and give you an ETA when I have one. I can’t imagine it will be more than an hour.”

“Thank you. I know it’s a lot to ask with Aaron out on a case as well.”

“It’s alright, ma’am. I’ll be in touch.” You hung up and dressed quickly, calling Jess.

“Got a case?” She sounded terribly chipper for this hour.

“Yeah, I do. I’m so sorry to wake you,” you added lamely.

She chuckled. “You didn’t, and I should thank you. You just saved me from my 7am yoga class.”

“Well, put it on my tab. How quick can you get here?”

“I’ll be there in 20.”

You thanked her again and padded down the hallway to Jack’s room. Kneeling beside him, you brushed some hair off his forehead. It was enough to wake him. He blinked sleepily up at you and reached for you. You wrapped him in your arms, stroking the back of his head. 

“Hey bud. I’ve got a case I gotta go on, but Aunt Jess will be with you until Dad or I get home, okay?”

He nodded, closing his eyes again.

You kissed his forehead. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” he mumbled.

You shot a text to your section chief. Be there in 35 mins.

You made yourself a quick breakfast and a pot of coffee. You pulled a travel mug for yourself and a mug from the cabinet for Jess (It said Someone from San Antonio Loves Me!, but that was neither here nor there). 

Your go bag was already in the car – BAU habits die hard.

Jess arrived in record time, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek and taking her cup of coffee out of your hand. You’d grown close in the last few years, and considered her as much of a sister as Aaron did at this point. 

You slipped out the door as quietly as possible, jumping into the car and driving straight to the Quantico airstrip.

The plane was waiting for you, and you greeted the CARD B-Team as you sat down.

+++

The flight to Chicago wasn’t too long, but you managed to get some sleep on the way.

When you were on your final descent, you checked your email, finding no further information from your section chief, other than a case file for a series of missing children and address for the precinct. You didn’t have any information about the other factions of the joint case. Hopefully it wasn’t those jokers at the State Department. They meant well, but they never played nicely with the bureau.

You almost laughed out loud when you arrived at the local precinct, finding the backsides of both Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan in front of an evidence board.

“Hey, Chief?” One of your SSA’s – Agent Esme Salinger, stepped up beside you. “Aren’t those guys from your old unit?”

“They sure are.”

She snorted. “This’ll be fun.”

The back door opened, and Aaron, Emily, and Dave barreled in, heading straight for the conference room.

“You may be right about that,” you said distractedly. 

Aaron was barking about something in his Unit Chief Voice™, but you couldn’t make out the details as he kept moving. They pinned new evidence on the board right away, not taking any time to clock your presence.

That didn’t last long. Your newest agent, Knowles, jogged up to you with his go bag slung over his shoulder. “Hey, Hotch,” he said, way too loudly, “where should we park the cars?”

You whirled to face him, directing him to park by the other federal vehicles around the side of the building. You stifled your smile as you felt eyes turn to your back.

When you turned, you found the entire BAU grinning at you. You crossed to the conference room, wordlessly asking your team to hold where they were as you left them behind.

“SSA Hotchner. Good to see you again.” you said, approaching Aaron, your hand extended and tone extremely formal. 

He bit back a smile and he shook your hand with an unreasonable firmness. He matched you note for note. “SSA Hotchner. Glad to have you with us.”

You winked at him.

With a wave of your hand, your team trailed across the room and fell into a line at your back like a pack of well-trained ducklings. With a certain degree of pride, you introduced them to the BAU one by one.

“...And this is SSA Aaron Hotchner, BAU Unit Chief.” You looked at your husband with a small, fond smile before sobering and redirecting your attention to your team. “For the sake of clarity, we’ll switch back to my SAIC callsign – Ace – while we’re working with the BAU. Understood?”

They nodded, and got to work, pairing off with your former teammates to determine their plan of action.

Aaron stood beside you at the board. Staring straight ahead, his arms crossed, he asked, “Ace?”

“Yeah – I used all your poker tricks and cleaned them out my first week back at CARD as SAIC.”

The corner of his mouth lifted. “Excellent.”

+++

Aaron let himself into your hotel room just as you finished hanging the rest of your clothes in the minuscule closet. He came up behind you, dropping his hands to the waistband of your pajama pants and kissing your neck with a kind of desperate gentleness.

You smiled and tilted your head, bringing a hand up and carding your fingers through the hair at his temples. “Miss me?”

“You have no idea,” he said against your skin.

You turned in his arms and kissed him, pouring all your love and pride into it. He opened his mouth to you, and the way his tongue ran against yours stole your breath. He emitted a low groan when you scraped your teeth along his lower lip and he backed you up toward the bed.

“Planning on gettin’ some tonight, Agent Hotchner?”

He huffed a laugh, his mouth falling to the underside of your jaw and around to the sensitive skin over your carotid artery. You fell back on the bed, and he followed. 

There was a knock at the door. You both froze, his body hovering over yours. 

“Fuck,” you whispered, nearly throwing him off you.

He pressed his back to the wall by the bed, out of sight from the door. There was a shit-eating grin on his face. You rolled your eyes and straightened your shirt, hoping things weren’t too out of place.

Agent Salinger was on the other side of the door. “Hey, Ace. Do you have a minute?”

You leaned against the doorframe, trying to imitate something that looked casual. “Sure. What’s up?”

“Did you happen to bring any Advil with you? I’ve got a splitting headache and I’m out.”

“Sure, give me just a second.”

You left the door cracked and dug your med kit out of your go bag. Aaron tugged on the back of your shirt as you passed, and you swatted at him out of habit. Retrieving a small handful of tablets, you poured them into a little ziploc, sealed it, and returned to the door.

“Here, Salinger. This should hold you over if it continues through the end of the case. If you’re still hurting after we land back at Quantico, go ahead and visit the infirmary to see if they can do anything for you. That concussion’s still healing.” You smiled at her. “We need you sharp, alright?”

She took them gratefully, and gave you a mock salute. “Thanks. You’re the best.”

“That’s why they pay me the big bucks,” you joked. “Anything else you needed?”

She shook her head. “Have a good night, Ace.” She paused, hiding a smile and raising her voice a little, rising up on her toes. “You too, Hotch!”

You huffed and rolled your eyes. “Goodnight, Salinger. Sleep well.”

“Feel better!” Aaron’s voice came from around the corner, and you rolled your eyes. 

“Sleep well, you two.” Then, with a suggestive, curling smile, “Need a wake-up call in the morning?”

You shut the door in her face with a laugh and another farewell. As it closed, you leaned against it heavily. “Oh, I am never going to hear the end of that.”

Aaron turned the corner, loosening his tie. “Now, we’re even.”

You looped your arms around his neck as you remembered that day, years ago.

“You know, for a pair of profilers you guys really suck at sneaking around.” JJ’s voice echoed in your head. 

“I guess so,” you laughed. “This marriage is about give and take, after all.”

He kissed you languidly and you could feel the tension as he did his best to hide his smile. 

+++

“Hey, Hotch, how come you don’t have a cool nickname?” Derek said, grinning behind his sunglasses as they all piled into the car.

“I’d have one if you gave me one,” he quipped. You drove the car in front of him, the window rolled down and your elbow visible where it rested in the frail Chicago sunshine. 

He was excited to see you back in action. With your position as deputy unit chief, your role in the field was limited to emergency situations only. And with the CARD A-Team up in Pennsylvania for the week, you were stuck wrangling the younger agents on your own. 

That said, it was exciting for you to take point, and even more so to work alongside Aaron again.

The difference this time? You were peers. You had the same title, the same posture, the same authority. 

And perhaps most importantly, very little scrutiny regarding possibly-shared hotel rooms.

+++

He knocked on your door in the little pattern he picked up from you, and you opened it with a faux-serious expression. 

“Agent Hotchner, we can't keep meeting like this.”

He raised an eyebrow at you. 

He has a motive. 

You opened the door further and draped yourself against him where he stood in the hallway, continuing dramatically, “What will the people think?”

With surprising, but still gentle, force, he pushed you back into the room and pressed you against the wall. There was a click behind him as the door swung shut. 

You gasped, and your hands were suddenly over your head, locked between his fingers. 

“I think,” he said, wet, breathy kisses trailing down your neck and behind your ear, “the people will be appalled,” his lips closed around your skin as he painted marks over your collarbones, “by the unprofessional,” he released your hands, dropped to his knees and raised your shirt, “shocking,” he laved kisses across your stomach, “and unbecoming conduct of two senior agents.” His final words were delivered against your left hip.

You wound your hands in his hair and inhaled shakily. He pressed kisses and swept sweet bruises into your skin until you couldn’t feel anything but him.

When his mouth ghosted over you through your pajama pants, you knew exactly where the night was going. 

Your knees gave out, and you dropped into his lap, straddling him. You traced a hand down the side of his face, over his jaw. He leaned into it, and you roughened, taking his chin between your fingers With a firm, controlled jerk, you brought his lips to yours. His hips twitched, and you bit his lower lip in retaliation. 

He let out a low moan in his chest and his hands rucked up your shirt. They splayed across your back and shoulders, calloused and familiar. 

Allegedly, you made it to the bed at some point. If your exhaustion the next morning wasn’t enough evidence, the duvet on the floor and the pillows on the wrong side of the bed would happily testify to the lack of sleeping you did once you got there. 

+++

The next day at the evidence board found you and Aaron with identical, massive cups of coffee. 

Agents Salinger and Knowles sat at the table the next room over, reviewing interviews with JJ. 

“Do you think they ever, you know,” Knowles made a vaguely obscene gesture with his hand, and Salinger covered her mouth to hide her laugh. 

JJ didn’t look up from her notes, but replied, deadpan, “You have no idea.”

The younger agents snickered and watched you two work. 

It was easy. Even considering the stressful, time-sensitive nature of the unsub’s escalation over the previous four hours, you both moved around each other with a grace that only came with time. 

+++

A critical error. 

That’s the only thing you thought when you busted into the unsub’s house, minutes after your agents. The unsub was nowhere in sight, and Salinger was on the floor with her partner, putting pressure on a mild wound on his forehead and temple. 

Your jaw tightened and you shot them a look. 

I’ll deal with you later. 

Later came faster than even you could have imagined. You rounded the corner of the precinct to find Aaron laying into your agents for their screw-up back at the house. 

You stepped up to them with purpose and put a firm hand on Aaron’s arm. 

“Hotch, can I speak with you for a moment?” you looked at your agents and then back at him. “Privately.” 

It took everything in you to resist slamming the interrogation room door behind you. 

“What on this God-given green Earth made you think it was appropriate to discipline my agents?” 

He took a deep breath before replying and dropped into what you, usually fondly, referred to as Lawyer Mode. It was far less endearing in that moment, and only served to further piss you off. “Their mistakes cost us an arrest today. With this level of escalation, we could have two more missing kids by sundown. They needed to be made aware of their critical failure.”

You pressed your hands to the cool table, realizing you two were facing off over the surface like two cowboys in an old Western.

This town ain’t big enough for the both of us…

“Do you think I don’t know that?”

“No, I think it’s time sensitive and needed to be addressed immediately.” He crossed his arms. 

Damn it. 

You changed tactics, opening your shoulders as you braced yourself on the table. “I’m acutely aware of the time-sensitive nature of this case, which is why I was waiting to reprimand them until they had the time to actually process it. They’re young. They get caught up in it, and Salinger is particularly prone to amplifying rejection, so she’ll be unwilling to take risks until we fly home for fear of inspiring your ire and my disappointment. They fucked up, I know. But I know my team, I know how they need to be handled so we can continue working on this case. You don’t.”

The frustration had drained out of him during your tirade and was replaced with contrition. You were right, and he knew it. You softened your tone, but only a little.

“Aaron, I need you to trust me to handle my team effectively. I don’t need you to step in on my behalf.” Your frustration crawled up into your throat, and you begged your tears not to betray you. Swallowing, you collected yourself and stared him right in the eye. “You undermined my authority today. Please don’t do it again.”

His mouth pressed into a thin, remorseful line. He looked down at the table and took a deep breath. Meeting your eyes again, he said, “I respect and value your leadership and your position. You are, and always will be, the best person to lead your team. I got caught up in my frustration and failed to consider the optics and the specific needs of your agents. I’m sorry.” He rounded the table, crossing to you. “It won’t happen again.” 

There was silence for a moment. Then, Aaron crossed the chasm between colleagues and spouses and reached for your hands, running his thumb over your wedding ring. It was a silent reminder, for both of you. 

Fight nice.

“Thank you.” Sighing, you brought one of your hands to the lapel of his suit jacket, fiddling with it just for something to do as you spoke. “You need to apologize to my agents for overstepping and emphasize that you defer to me on all aspects regarding CARD involvement in the case.” 

“I can do that.” His lips quirked up into the smile you loved, the smile that only you saw. “Forgive me?” 

You heaved a sigh. “I guess so.” He met your eyes and you broke, a little smile threatening at the corners of your mouth. “Let’s get out there and save some kids today, yeah?”

He released your hand and crossed the room, opening the door for you - a wordless agreement, as well as a reiteration of support you so deeply cherished. 

+++

It only took you another hour to locate the unsub - even though he used forensic countermeasures, he wasn’t all that bright. One swipe of his credit card, and Garcia had him in her clutches. 

You raced to his location. Aaron drove the lead car with Derek behind him, and you brought up the rear with the rest of the team. It was more than a little thrilling to drive impossibly fast, sirens wailing, headed to end this man’s reign of terror on Chicago families. 

Throwing the car into park strategically perpendicular to Derek’s SUV, you jumped out of the car and drew your weapon. You took Aaron’s six through the front of the house, a calm settling over you as the pair of you fell right into line. 

Aaron found the unsub in the back bedroom, with a knife held to the most recently kidnapped child. You squared up just off Aaron’s left shoulder for a clear line of sight, avoiding his right side. If you had to fire a shot, the last thing you wanted to do was aggravate his bad ear. 

Out of the corner of your eye, Derek lined up a clean shot through the window. He knew to wait for Hotch, who had started to talk the unsub down, before taking any action. 

Your heart swelled with both pride and affection as Aaron successfully and handily de-escalated the situation and made the arrest himself. He passed the unsub off to the local officers, and you both continued searching the house for the missing children. 

JJ found them first, unharmed and terrified, in a hidden shed out back. She deferred to you, and you called your team over to perform a quick trauma eval on each of the children. 

Knowles and Salinger, still twitchy from their earlier run-in with Aaron, settled down once they were able to perform their designated duties with their colleagues. 

When they were finished, Aaron pulled them aside and spoke quietly with them for a moment. Salinger’s mouth twisted into a little smile, and Knowles took a deep breath. Every once in a while, one of them looked over at you as Aaron spoke. 

After a final set of smiles and nods, they exchanged handshakes. Aaron looked significantly lighter as he approached you as you leaned on the SUV. With your sunglasses on, you looked decidedly and federally important. 

Aaron settled in beside you, slipping his sunglasses over his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest. You bumped his shoulder, and kept your voice low. “It was nice to work together, again.”

A ghost of a smile crossed his face, but it was one only you (and maybe Dave) would notice. You could carry on entire conversations without physically acknowledging each other just as well as you could communicate without words at all. Aaron stayed focused on something in the middle distance as he replied. “It was.”

“It’s nice to know you’re still good at your job without me.” You bit back a smile as your eyes tracked your team, wrapping everything up. 

You could almost hear his eye roll. “Glad to hear my performance is consistent and up to your standards.” 

“Your performance is always consistent and up to my standards.” 

The double meaning was not lost on him, according to the dimple that pressed into his left cheek. 

After a moment of silence, the humor dropped from your tone. “Sorry I got mad at you.” 

He huffed a laugh through his nose, his face unchanged. “I deserved it.” 

“You did,” you agreed, “but I forgot how much I dislike getting upset with you in the field.” 

“As opposed to getting upset with me at home?” 

“Exactly.” 

+++

Knowles and Salinger placed a bet on something while you were all in the car, but you weren’t sure what it was. You shook your head at their antics, feeling very much like a parent all of a sudden. 

When you all landed in the hotel lobby, BAU and CARD combined, Hotch checked his watch and said, “We’re all taking the jet back together. Adjust accordingly. Wheels up in thirty.” 

With a smug grin, Salinger collected her cash from Knowles. 

You exchanged a glance with Hotch, one full of long-suffering understanding, and shook your head. 

+++

To save on space, it only seemed reasonable to cozy up to Hotch on the flight home. The three extra bodies meant that almost every seat was full, and sleeping in a ball was the only option. 

Your head rested in Hotch’s lap, pillowed on his suit jacket, while the rest of you curled up on the seat beside him. A case file rested lightly on the side of your head as Aaron reviewed it, flipping pages every once and awhile.

Your phone rang, and Hotch pulled it out of your pocket before you could reach around for it. 

“Hotchner….Hey buddy...Yeah we’ll be home really soon. We’re on the plane right now…” He checked his watch. “It’ll be past your bedtime when we get home, so we’ll come in and say goodnight to you really quick, okay?...Alright. See you soon. I love you.” 

He hung up and tossed the phone on the seat, reclining and stretching his long legs out in front of him. You tapped his knee. “How’s the kid?”

He chuckled. “Good. Apparently there’s mac ‘n cheese for dinner. It’s very exciting.” 

You hummed contentedly, bringing your arm up to rest on his knee as you endeavored to get a little more comfortable. 

Aaron’s hand landed on your shoulder, and he squeezed once. “Missed you.”

You covered his hand with yours. “Missed you, too.”

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @fics-ilike @ange-must-die @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @saintd0lce @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @gublergirls @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @vintagecaptainspidey @micaiahmoonheart @thatreallyis-americas-ass @marvels-agents100 @newtslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @joemazzello-imagines @pinkdiamond1016 @sebbybaby0 @wannabewinchester67 @pan-pride-12 @hotchlinebling @lee-rin-ah @sunshine-em @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @nohalohoseok @giveusbackourbucky @mrshotchnerrossimulder20 @darkeclipsebatlight @honeyshores @laneygthememequeen @emmice9 @word-scribbless @abschaffer2

(if y’all have been up in my masterlist recently, i added you to the tags. i also love you. pls let me know if you want to hop off the tag list anytime - i promise you wont hurt my feelings!) also some tags aren’t working - make sure you’re able to be tagged in posts in your settings!

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotch #tali writes fanficiton

[pinkja]

Realization (Ellie Williams x Female reader)

Request:

Heyyy ! Could you do an Ellie x fem!reader where the reader gets hurt badly and Ellie realizes that she is in love with the reader and at the end they get together?

Tw cursing

—

Ellie doesn’t know why she’s freaking out like this. You’re fine, she tells herself, you’re ok.

But when she looked down at you as you clung to her side and tried your best to run with her while injured, she couldn’t be so sure. Her resolve was quickly fading. God, other survivors could be so annoying sometimes. Her eyes traveled down to the arrow sticking out of your stomach, blood coating your shirt and hand as you tried to stop yourself from bleeding out.

“(Y/n)! (Y/n), keep your eyes on me, ok? Just keep them on me.” Ellie tried to coax you into staying awake, fear beating in her heart every time she saw you close your eyes for a little too long.

“Mmkay, Ellie…” You whispered as you leaned on her a bit more.

“I’ll keep you safe. I promise.”

I promise, I promise, I promise. Ellie repeated it over and over again in her head as she continued to run.

There were too many of them right now, and Ellie couldn’t fight them all while you were injured. She didn’t want to take her eyes off of you. So she grabbed you and ran. They were a ways behind the pair, but Ellie knew they would capture them in time. Ellie searched around, looking for some type of shelter. Her eyes rested on an old movie theater. There weren’t any windows, and it looked relatively stable.

“Come on, (y/n). Just a little bit longer, kay?” Ellie felt you nod into her side, and felt relief that you were still responding.

With a rush of adrenaline, Ellie made you both duck and pulled you over towards the theater. You leaned against the wall while Ellie forced the door open. She let you go in first, and quickly blocked the door when she got in. Ellie guided you down to the floor and rubbed your head.

She paused for a minute, listening for Infected and the survivors. There were no Infected at this moment, as far as she could tell. She would have to search around for some.

Ellie sat next to you, looking down at your wound in worry.

“You shouldn’t have done that, (y/n). You’re hurt.” Ellie placed a hand over yours. Your skin was so hot. It almost burned. Sweat rolled down your cheek and made your hair stick to your forehead. Your breaths were short and shaky, but you still responded.

“Aww. You’re worried about me…” You gave her a small smile despite the pain you felt. Why did you love to tease her? “Besides, it would’ve hit your heart if I hadn’t pushed you. I couldn’t let that happen…” Ellie’s heart pounded in her chest as she squeezed your hand.

“I’m suppose to be the one who keeps you safe, remember?” Ellie brushed some hair from your face. Her hand was cool against your skin.

The pair went quiet when they heard the whoops and hollers of the group of survivors as they passed by the theater. Once it was silent again, and another couple of minutes had passed by just to make sure, the pair let out a breath of relief.

“There’s gotta be a med kit around here, or at least some supplies for some. I don’t think we could make it back to Jackson like this.” You could see the hesitation in Ellie’s face.

“It’s ok, Ellie. I’ll be fine.” Your words reassured her, even only for a little bit. Ellie, with much reluctance, let go of your hand and went to go find some supplies. She searched the whole building as quickly as she could. There were a few med kits, and there were no Infected in the building. At least there was some relief in this stressful situation. She made it back to you as fast as she could. You were in the same spot, eyes closed and breathing heavily.

Oh god, you were so beautiful.

Ellie shook her head and told herself that now was not the time.

“Pull yourself together, Ellie.” She muttered as she walked up to you. “(Y/n)?” She called as she kneeled down beside you. When you didn’t respond Ellie panicked and started to tap you on the cheek. “(Y/n)!” Ellie grabbed your shoulders and shook you. Your eyes shot open and you looked straight at Ellie. Your pupils were dilated and you were breathing heavily through your nose. “Good fucking god, (Y/n). You scared the shit out of me.” Ellie whimpered. She swear she would’ve start crying then and there.

“M’sorry, El… I was just tired is all.” You blinked a few times before trying to sit up. You let out a hiss and Ellie pushed you back down.

“Don’t fall asleep on me. You’re not allowed to fucking sleep on me, ok? Not until I know you’re alright.” Ellie opened the kit and grabbed a needle and thread. She set it down and placed her hands on the arrow. “I’m gonna have to take this out, ok? I don’t think it’s that deep but it’s been there for a while.” Ellie paused for a minute, staring at you through her eyelashes.

“It’s ok, El. I-I can take it…” You bit down on your arm in preparation. Ellie took a few deep breaths before she quickly ripped out the arrow.

You screamed. You had screamed so much that Ellie wanted to break down in tears with you. She wanted to do everything to stop your pain and make it all better. Your tried to muffle your screams by biting your arm, and Ellie was sure you would bite a hole in it.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Ellie’s voice cracked as she spoke. She tried to shush you to help you calm down. When you had finally stopped screaming, you removed your arm from your mouth and breathed heavily. “I’m sorry…” Ellie slowly lifted up your shirt and watched your stomach rise up and down. Ellie wondered how soft your skin was.

Fuck, Ellie! Pull yourself together god dammit!

Ellie put alcohol on a cloth and held it onto the bleeding wound. You flinched, and Ellie leaned down and placed a kiss onto your cheek to soothe you. Your skin was sweaty and tasted like salt. You whimpered at the contact.

When the bleeding stopped, Ellie cleaned the needle with more alcohol and started to stich your wound. Once she was done, Ellie put your shirt back down, and laid down next to you. She hugged you gently, and you tried to return it as best as you could. In the end you could only place your hand on her cheek. Ellie could feel your thumb run circles on her cheek.

“I…I could’ve lost you. I don’t wanna…ever…” Her eyes darted all over your face, wanting to memorize every detail. “You’re so fucking important to me, (Y/n), and seeing you like this it-it almost destroyed me.” You continued to rub circles onto her cheek.

And when you smiled at her, even after all of the shit you had just been through, something in Ellie’s brain clicked. She didn’t want to live without you. She didn’t want to be in a world where you weren’t in it. Ellie belonged with you, and only you.

“(Y/n), today made me realize that…that you could be ripped away from me at a moment’s notice, and I don’t know if I could handle that. Especially without telling you that I…that I love you.” Ellie grabbed the hand that was on her face. “Please, promise me that you’ll stay with me. That you’ll be by my side.”

“I promise, Ellie. Always.” You whispered, not wanting to let her hand go. Neither did Ellie.

Ellie placed a soft kiss onto your forehead. You didn’t shy away from the touch.

“I love you, Ellie.” You let out a shaky breath and stared up at her.

“I love you too, (y/n).”

#ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams #the last of us part ii #the last of us part 2 #tlou2 #tlou2 fanfic #tlou fanfic #tlou #tw cursing

[rai-wick]

Gally x Reader Chapter 11: Newbie (2)

Y/N's P.O.V

~LATER AT THE BONFIRE~

"Light 'em up"We all cheered as the bonfire burst into flames.I laughed at the glader's silly antics, the dancing, the music, the terrible jokes. My eyes wandered over to Gally who was flexing as he got ready to fight. He smirked at me making me roll my eyes. I spotted Newt and greenie talking in the corner and walked over.

"Hey guys"I slipped down to greenie's other side as they greeted me"Well, that was one hell of a first day"I patted Greenie on the back as Newt chuckled and handed him a jar of Gally's drink.

"Here, put some hair on your chest."Greenie took the jar and drank a gulp before immediately spluttering and spitting it out.We laughed as he coughed and handed the jar back.

"Oh my god! What is that?"

"I don't even know. It's Gally's recipe. Trade secret" Newt grinned as we looked back to see Gally starting his game.

"Yeah, he's still an asshole"Greenie muttered as I glanced at Newt.

"He saved your life today"I pointed out to Greenie"Trust me. The maze is a dangerous place"We stared at the Gates.

"We're trapped here aren't we?"

"For the moment"Newt sighed"But"Newt turned around and pointed to Minho"See those guys by the fire.They're runners.That guy in the middle, that's Minho. He's the keeper of the runners, ____ is one herself"Greenie looked at me as I nodded.

"Every morning, when those doors open, we run the maze, mapping it, memorizing it, trying to find a way out"I repeated what Minho told me to say about running.

"How long have you guys been looking?"

"Three years"Newt glanced down.

"And they haven't found anything?"

"It's a lot easier said than done" I scoffed, turning back.

"Listen"Newt shushed as we heard the clicking and clanking of metal"It's the maze, changing.It changes every night"

"How's that even possible?"

"You can ask the people who put us in here, if you ever meet the bastards"I said sarcastically making Newt chuckle.

"Listen, the truth is...the runners are the only ones who really know what's out there. They are the strongest and the fastest of us all"Newt glanced at me making me blush"And it's a good thing too, because if they don't make it back before those doors close...then they're stuck out there for the night. And no one has survived a night in the maze"I sighed and took a gulp of the drink.

"What happens to them?"

"We call them Grievers"Greenie looked at me as I rested my arms on my knees"Of course, no one's ever seen one and lived to tell about it. But they're out there" There was a silence as we stared back at the Maze.

"Right, well that's enough questions for one night, C'mon"Newt leaned on the log and stood up"You're supposed to be the guest of honour"

"C'mon, we'll show you around"I leaned out a hand to Greenie, smiling softly. He took it and I helped him up before Newt began to tell him about the different jobs and who did them. "And there we got the builders"Newt pointed out as Gally flipped a glader over"They're very good with their hands but not a lot going on upstairs"I rolled my eyes and slapped Newt's chest with the back of my hand.

"Hey! I'm a part time builder"

"I stand by what I said"Newt winked"And then we got Winston, he's the Keeper of the Slicers. And we got two med-jacks; Clint and Jeff"They waved at us as we passed by them"They spend most of their time bandaging up the slicers"

"What if I want to be a runner?"

"Have you listened to a word I've just said? No one wants to be a runner"Newt shook his head at him.

"And besides, you gotta get chosen"I told the greenie.

"Chosen by who?"We were interrupted by Gally as he swung some poor glader straight into Greenie making him stumble. I helped Greenie up as Gally furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes narrowed at me and Greenie.

"What do ya say Greenie? Wanna see what you're made of?"

"Greenie! Greenie! Greenie!"A glader began to chant making the rest chant along.They formed a circle as Gally explained the rules to him.

"I try to push you out and you try to last more than five seconds"He smirked before shoving Greenie out. Gladers caught him and pushed him back to Gally who pushed him to the ground."C'mon Greenie, we're not done yet"

"Stop calling me Greenie" He spat out sand and stood up.

"Stop calling you that? What do you want to be called? Shank?"We laughed as Gally teased"What do you think, boys? Does he look like a Shank?"Greenie charged towards him and tackled him as Minho came and stood next to me.Gally threw him to the ground, the other gladers laughing.

"You know what? I think I've settled on Shank"Greenie caught Gally around his stomach who began pushing him out before Greenie turned and dropped him to the ground.

"OOOHHH!"I saw Gally's shoulders began to tense with anger.He turned his head slowly as Greenie panted.

"Not bad for a Greenie huh?"Gally's leg shot out making Greenie drop to the ground and hit his head pretty hard. I took a step forward but Newt shook his head at me.A look of realisation came over Greenie's face as he lifted his head.

"Thomas"He whispered before scrambling and standing up"Thomas! I remember my name! I'm Thomas!"

"Thomas!" I grinned before cheering. I patted him on the back as the gladers whooped."Welcome home Thomas" he looked at me, a full smile breaking out on his face.I handed him the jar as he took a gulp and winced.

"Good job...Thomas"Gally shook his hand. We interrupted by a roar. We all turned to the Maze walls.

"What the hell was that?"Thomas breathed out.

"That, my friend, was a Griever. Don't worry you're safe here with us. Nothing gets through these walls"Gally turned back and walked away as everyone began to turn in for the night.

"Good job Thomas"I smiled at him before going to my cabin. I washed my face and changed into a thin t-shirt before laying down on my hammock. I felt sleep immediately come over me.

DREAM

"Subject A109 is ready" A woman with blond hair and immaculate white clothes nodded and turned to me"Wipe his memories ____"I nodded and turned back to the screen. The Swipe chip had just been inserted into Subject A109 which I prefer to remember as Gally, now I just had to wipe memories from his mind, hiding it in the chip. My hand hovered over the button as I stared at Gally's sleeping face.

"____? Have you completed what I asked?"The woman raised an eyebrow at me as I gulped.

"Must we do this?"I saw Thomas and a girl with black hair glance at each other before looking at me.

"____ wipe his memory now!"The woman's mouth got tighter"I will not remind you what happens if you disobey"I felt a shiver at the remembrance of the Crank Pit.

"Yes Ms Paige"I gulped and pressed the button wiping Gally's memories. A tear rolled down my face as his face went from troubled to blank. Thomas reached over, squeezing my hand as Ms Paige turned and left.

"I'm sorry ____ (nickname), I know how much Gally meant to you"The girl sympathetically said. I closed my eyes as tears poured down my face.

"I hate her! I hate this place and I hate Ava Paige with all my heart"I hissed, clenching my fists into balls.

"We'll be out of here soon ____. I promise"Thomas smiled softly, hugging me as I dried my tears.

DREAM

"AH!"I gasped, breathing hard as I woke up. I wiped the sweat off my face and pulled off my t-shirt which was stuck to my body. I washed my face, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I had dark circles under my eyes and my hair was a mess. I ran my fingers through it as I left my cabin. I saw a figure sitting, staring at the gates. I cautiously approached but relaxed when I saw it was Gally. I leaned over him and he looked up at me.

"Hey"

"Hi"I sat down next to him on the grass"You alright love?"

"Yeah, just thinking"

"You wanna tell me why you avoided me all night?"

"I avoided you? You're the one who was being all buddy buddy with Thomas"He scoffed.

"I was showing him around and Newt was with me"

"Yeah because Newt is so much better" He ran a hand over his head as I exhaled deeply.

"Gally, do you not trust me?" I looked at him.

"I trust you, it's them I don't trust"He muttered. I slipped my hand into his making Gally look at me.

"You're my one and only darling"He kissed my forehead as I rubbed my thumb over his knuckles"But you didn't have to show off so much when you were fighting"

"Well, I have a reputation to uphold and a girlfriend to impress" He smirked making me blush.

"Such an oddball" I kissed him softly.

"Your oddball" He smiled and we turned back to look at the stars.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#the maze runner #gally imagine #gally x reader #gally imagines #maze runner gally #gally masterlist #newt maze runner #thomas maze runner #maze runner minho

[supercalvin]

Hi! I saw your ficlet that you wrote to cheer up someone who came out and didn't have a good experience with it and I was wondering if you could maybe write another one? My girlfriend and I came out at the same time and no one's taking it too well. We're both big fans of Merlin and especially your ficlets. I was wondering if you can write a nice supportive coming out ficlet to maybe cheer her up?

So I will tell you what I said to @ancient-depressed-druid over on that other ficlet: *Immediately drops all other prompts* LOOK AT ME. I’M THE PARENT NOW.

NEVER SPEAK TO ME OR MY KIDS EVER AGAIN

1. I hope you don’t mind that I based on a fic idea my friend gave me. It’s really funny, although it’s not necessarily a ‘coming out fic’ I hope its enough to cheer you both up.

2. This turned out wayyy too long again. Whoops.

3. Did I take 20 min to make that image?? YES I DID

Prompts + Ficlets

***

Balinor arrived at the oral surgeon’s office with a sigh. To say that this was not how Balinor expected to spend his afternoon would be an understatement.

“I’m here to pick up Arthur Pendragon,” He told the receptionist.

There were a lot of things about the last fifteen years of Balinor’s life that he hadn’t expected. For one thing, he hadn’t expected to run into an old flame when he moved to Camelot. He hadn’t expected her to have a little toddler at her ankles who had looked so similar to Balinor it actually knocked the breath out of him the first time he saw Merlin.

He hadn’t expected to fall back in love with Hunith or to suddenly become a full-time Dad as Hunith worked full-time at the local senior home.

He also hadn’t expected when Merlin came out to him, but Hunith had admonished him for not noticing Merlin’s small probing conversation starters before. Balinor had never been very good at social cues. Merlin had gotten all those genes from his mother.

“Da, can Arthur come over after school tomorrow?”

“Who’s Arthur? You’ve not mentioned him before.” Balinor had asked, not looking up from the wood he had been cutting. (Merlin had become an avid reader and needed a new bookshelf in his room. Merlin had said they could just buy one but Balinor had insisted on making one for him.)

“Um…Well… He’s my boyfriend. Maybe.”

Balinor had looked up at that. Merlin had his arms wrapped around himself and he had hovered by the door, as if he was about to run out.

Balinor had nodded, “Fine. But you have to keep your door open when he’s here.”

“Da,” Merlin’s face had been bright red, but he had also looked pleased.

“Get back here,” Balinor had stopped him before Merlin bolted out the door. Balinor had pulled his son into a quick hug and pressed a kiss to his hair. At seventeen years old, Merlin was skinny and soon he would be just as tall as Balinor himself. When that day came, Balinor would miss being able to coddle him so easily.

“Thanks, Da.”

“Don’t be too happy, I haven’t met this Arthur yet.”

On principle, Balinor did not like Arthur. No one would be good enough for Merlin, but especially not some spoiled brat. Hunith liked Arthur, which was the only reason Balinor tolerated Merlin having the kid over as often as he did. It wasn’t that he was mean to Arthur (of course not) it was just that Merlin was the most important thing in Balinor’s life, and there was a high possibility that young love would turn to young heartbreak. Balinor only wished he could spare his son that.

Today, Arthur was getting his wisdom teeth removed and the original plan was for Hunith and Merlin to pick him up. Apparently, Uther was on a business that had been scheduled for the same week as Arthur’s surgery. But then Merlin had had to help his Uncle Gaius at the shop and then there had been an emergency at the senior home and Hunith couldn’t do it.

Which left Balinor.

Balinor was ushered into the back room where Arthur was holding an icepack to his face, eyes glazed over.

“Arthur?” Balinor leant down to catch the boy’s eye.

Arthur blinked a few times and then he seemed to recognize Balinor.

“Mr. Emrysss!” He said with what Balinor assumed was a smile, although his cheeks were so puffed that it was hard to tell. “Ow.”

“Careful of the stitches,” The nurse said. “Maybe get a milkshake, love.”

“Milkshake,” Arthur said with wide eyes, looking up at Balinor.

Shit.

Which is how Balinor found himself driving down the road trying to remember the closest ice cream shop.

“Sorry you got stuck with me. I know you don’t like me.”

Balinor was surprised that despite the slow and slurred speech Arthur seemed aware enough to say this.

“I don’t dislike you. You’re dating my son. I’m just watching out for Merlin.”

“’das fair.” Arthur said and then poked his own cheek a few times.

“Stop that. You’ll pull the stitches.” Balinor pulled his hands away from his face.

Arthur sat on his hands, looking like a scolded five-year-old instead of a bratty teenager.

Arthur still seemed very out of it and didn’t say much for another few minutes. He might have dozed off, but he woke up again when Balinor handed him a vanilla milkshake.

“’hanks”

With a bit of sugar into him, Arthur became decidedly more chatty.

“You know, I really do like Merlin.”

“I would hope so,” Balinor said as he drove.

“I love him, actually. Haven’t told him yet. Scarred.”

Balinor’s heart tugged a bit. He wasn’t heartless. He just worried over Merlin. But he could also recognize that Arthur was also a young boy in the throes of first love too.

“Don’t be scarred of your own feelings, Arthur.” Balinor said, a phrase that he had told Merlin many times before.

“Not what my Dad says. Always tells me to get over it.”

Balinor had only ever met Uther once, but he was starting to really not like the man. Really, what kind of man had a business trip on the same week as his son’s surgery?

“You know, I really respect you.” Arthur said, “You’re always so good to Merlin. And saying things like that about feelings. Even if you’re all stoic. I like that. Wish my Dad was like that instead of just being an asshole. Shit, sorry for cursing.”

Balinor had to hold in a laugh, although it was hard. The poor kid was out of his mind on pain meds.

“You know, when Merlin invites me over on Sundays, and Ms. E makes dinner and we watch a film, it’s like the best thing that happens to me all week.”

At a stop sign, Balinor looked over at Arthur who was cradling his milkshake with reverent hands. He also was looking out the window, not really aware of Balinor. As if he was just saying his internal monologue out loud.

“Sometimes I don’t see my Dad all week and I’m alone in a big house for days in a row.” Arthur said, his voice sounding distant, “Dad doesn’t have a clue about Merlin. He barely knows I’m alive, let alone gay. So I’m glad Merlin has you,” Arthur looked back over at Balinor, suddenly pinning him in his seat with round dilated eyes. “You’re a good Dad. Maybe you don’t like me, but it’s because you want Merlin to have the best. That’s alright by me. I don’t think I’m good enough for Merlin either. But I’ll stick around because he wants me to.”

Balinor cleared his throat and turned back to the road after realizing he had been stopped at a stop sign for over a minute.

***

A week later, Arthur was fully recovering from the surgery and he had no recollection of anything he said to Balinor. As far as he was aware, he got a milkshake, took a nap, and woke up groggy on the Emrys’ front room sofa.

The following Sunday, Arthur was invited to their family dinner. Afterwards, when Arthur offered to do the dishes, Balinor quietly started drying, telling Hunith and Merlin to go pick a film.

There was tension pouring off Arthur in waves.

“We’re going on a family trip to Ireland in the summer,” Balinor said, wiping down a pan.

“Yeah, Merlin told me. Sounds nice,” Arthur said awkwardly.

“You’re invited.”

“What?” Arthur dropped the bowl back into the soapy water with a loud ‘plop.’

Balinor made eye contact with Arthur, who looked utterly baffled. “Do you want to go?”

“I mean…uh,” Arthur blinked.

“It’d be nice for you to come,” Balinor said. “Merlin would be ecstatic. You two could go off sightseeing while Hunith and I visit old friends.”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“Arthur,” Balinor said, trying to make himself clear. “Merlin didn’t ask me. He doesn’t even know I’m asking you. I’m asking because I want you to come along.”

Arthur nodded. His mouth was still half open in surprise. “Yeah. Um. I’d like that. Thanks.”

“Good,” Balinor dried off another plate and ruffled Arthur’s hair. “Finish up here. Those two are likely picking some horrible film. I need your vote against another historical drama.”

Arthur looked baffled, but he also looked pleased.

Good, Balinor thought. Maybe it wasn’t too bad having another son around the house.

***

Prompts + Ficlets

Balinor said, “Is anyone gonna adopt this kid?” and then didn’t wait for an answer.

#merlin #merthur #merlin fic #merthur fic #ficlets #Anonymous

[christalpepsi]

a bit for storage

I’m going to post a buncha my grey’s fic! Not everything is connected yet, I just write in bits and pieces. Alex Karev x OC (for now), loosely follows canon, just not izzie. Anyways this is what I got so far: 

TW: depression, suicide, death

Selected bits from S1E1

Finally. Her first day. She was indescribably excited, but anxious thoughts kept invading her mind. She’d worked her ass off for this, and seeing it’s fruition as a residency at Seattle Grace was so rewarding. Well, until Dr. Webber killed the mood. 

“Say hello to your competition. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five of you will crack under the pressure. Two of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line. This is your arena. How well you play...That's up to you.”

What was this, a gladiator fight? Her brows furrowed, but as she glanced around, everyone was completely serious. Well, fight she would. 

She zoned out, hoping she’d get placed with people she met at the mixer, as Webber started listing the interns and their assigned residents, until her name caught her attention. 

“...Dr. Heather Palmer, Bailey. Dr. Isobel Stevens, Bailey…”

Someone nudged her from behind. 

“Palmer, you got the nazi.” Great.

She didn’t wanna push the envelope on the first day, so she had brushed her curls out and slicked them back into the tightest ballet bun she could without giving herself a headache. 

“You’re gonna be a suck up aren’t you? I can tell. Regular Mrs. Grundy.” Alex, another intern, snorted as she bobby pinned her bangs back. She glared at him, but he missed her stare as his eyes roamed over to Dr. Stevens. 

The other interns muttered amongst themselves as Heather finished tying her shoes, trying to imagine what the “nazi” looked like. A short black woman walked in, and no one paid her much attention until she raised her voice. 

“I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don't bother sucking up, I already hate you, that's not gonna change. Trauma protocol, phone lists, pagers. Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. A run, that's rule number two. Your first shift starts now and lasts forty-eight hours. You're interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain, you run labs, write orders, work every second night till you drop and don't complain!”

She rushed out of the locker room at a quick walk, and everyone scrambled to follow her. Slamming open a nearby door, she said flatly, “On call rooms. Attendings hog them, sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to rule number three, if I'm sleeping, don't wake me, unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there, not only would you have killed someone, you would have also woke me for no good reason, we clear?”

Silence fell, and Heather and the blonde girl, Izzie, vigorously nodded their heads.

“Um, Dr. Bailey?” Heather said softly.

“Yes,” Bailey said, staring daggers.

“You said there were five rules? That was only four.” Dr. Bailey stared a hole through Heather, chilling her to the bone. Thankfully, Bailey’s pager started beeping. 

“Rule number five. When I move, you move.”

“Nurses are the ones implementing most of our work, dickhead.”

“Whatever. Maybe you should’ve been a nurse then.” Alex grabbed his chart, and sauntered away. 

“Palmer, what is it?”

“Pain, paresthesia, pallor, pulselessness, paralysis. Compartment syndrome.”

“So? Book an OR!” Bailey yelled.

“Oh! Right, booking a plastics OR for a fasciotomy.”

Selected bits from S1E3

Alex stormed into the locker room as Heather and Izzie were changing. “Morning, Dr. Model.”

“Dr. Evil Spawn.” Stevens deadpanned.

“Ooh, nice tat. They airbrush that out for the catalogs?”

“I don't know. What do they do for the 666 on your skull?” Heather snickered, earning a glare from Karev, but effectively shutting him up. As they finished clipping their badges on, Palmer turned to Izzie, lowering her voice a tad.

“Iz, I don’t blame you! If I was hot I would’ve done the same thing.”

“Oh, shut up, you’re so hot.” Izzie retorted.

“I’m not skinny blonde hot.” Heather crossed her arms.

“Whatever, sexy brunette goddess.”

She let out a giggle, pleased to have the complement returned.

“Are you guys gonna make out now, or what?” Alex interrupted. Heather scoffed, leaving the room with Dr. Stevens in tow.

Dr. Palmer’s patient was scheduled for a lap cholecystectomy at 3 that afternoon with gensurg, so she had time to kill. Heading for the locker room to grab her wallet, she overheard a raised voice. Walking in, she saw a crowd had gathered, and Izzie stood in her bra and underwear. 

“Let's study them, shall we? Gather around and check out the booty that put Izzie Stevens through med school. Have you had enough or should I continue? Because I have a few more very interesting tattoos. You want to call me Dr. Model? That's fine. Just remember that while you're sitting on 200 grand of student loans, I'm out of debt.” Izzie yanked her clothes back on and stormed out of the room, nearly knocking Heather over. 

Everyone awkwardly filed out, leaving Alex and Heather staring at each other from across the room. 

“Where do you get off?” She sighed, leaving her wallet still in her locker, and left for the break room empty handed.

Additional Bits That I’m Working In

Sure, he was a whore, but...seeing him with the kids stirred something in her. It freaked her out. He was Alex Karev, Dr. Evil Spawn, cheater, syphilis giver, aloof, uncommitted, but stubborn, calm, steady, yet exhilarating, adroit, wry, and so clever. And so kind. So kind. He held the premie in his arms, a crooked smile on his face, and feeling her gaze, glanced up to meet Heather’s eyes. She lit on fire under that gaze.

“Palmer.” Addison’s voice brought her out of her thoughts, and she turned away, towards the direction of Addison’s call. Alex’s eyes followed her out of the room. 

“So who’s going with Dr. Montgomery-Shepard?”

“I will!”

“Palmer, you’re in Peds or OB everyday. I’m putting you in cardio.”

“Damn it.” she muttered. Cristina’s mouth dropped open in offense.

“What? She’s crazy and ungrateful and-turning down cardio?”

“Yang, take her place in OB today.”

“For God’s sake…” Cristina huffed and went to find Addison, leaving Heather with Burke. 

“Hey, Joe! How’s your day been?” Heather hopped up on one of the barstools, trying not to slouch due to lack of back support. 

“Eh, so-so. Whatcha drinking?”

“Hm. I’m not sure,” she turned to her right. “Alex, what am I drinking?”

“We’re off tomorrow. Have some damn tequila, Palmer.” he said with a smirk.

“Don’t mind if I do. Could I get a flight, Joe?”

“Alright! Make sure you don’t die of alcohol poisoning, Dr. Grundy.” Alex jabbed her in the side, making her flinch. She whacked him on the back of the head teasingly. 

“Here ya are, Dr. Palmer.”

“Joe, please, it’s Heather.”

He chuckled, heading down the row as she took her first shot. 

“No chaser? You psycho. That’s pretty hot.”

“Yeah, I know.”

And him. Just standing there, arms crossed, chewing his Extra peppermint gum, not a care in the world. He was leaning against the nurses’ station, and she noted with envy the eyes that weren’t hers staring at him. 

Just laying there, hearing Mere’s bedsprings, Izzie’s rustling, George’s soft snores...she was so alone. She had no reason to be. Full house, friends that cared for her...or did they? It’s not like they went out of their way to make plans outside of work, other than Joe’s, which wasn’t exactly the healthiest of bonding activities. But no one fought for her. She didn’t even fight for herself, and she could feel it again, the sinking. The numbness was settling in again. She stared at the ceiling fan, spinning, spinning, spinning. 

“It’s depression! Just...it hurts all the fucking time, Alex! And I just, file it away, keep myself busy with work, with Joe’s, with you-”

“Oh, so I’m just here to keep you busy, is that it?”

“Isn’t that what you wanted? Just sex?”

“Shut up!” He took a ragged breath. “Please, just leave me alone, Heather.”

She pursed her lips. “If you wanted-I mean I-”

“I asked you to leave.”

Defeated, she met his eyes and turned back down the garden path to her car, careful not to trip in the dark. She wouldn’t be sleeping here tonight. 

Izzie hadn’t moved from the bathroom floor in about 18 hours. Heather was inclined to go lay down with her, but it wasn’t her rotation yet. George was in there keeping her company for now. 

“Who’s next?”

“Meredith. When I tried to kill myself, it was because I saw no way out.” She fiddled with the sheets of Meredith’s bed to be rid of some of the fidgety anxiety. “Just having to be mediocre, feeling I wasn’t important to anybody…” she trailed off, looking in Meredith’s direction. “Mere, you have so much. You have such a gift and I know you don’t want to hear this, but you can’t be so careless. There are people who care about you, people who love-”

“Okay, Palmer, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, I really do, sharing your trauma and all that, but I’m fine. Really. I didn’t try to kill myself, thanks.”

Heather sat there until Meredith raised her eyebrows, a clear order to get out. Turning the corner she ran smack into Karev, whose eyes were haunted. 

“You tried to kill youself?”

“Ha. Yeah, big whoop.” She looked at him witheringly. Her facade fell when they locked eyes and she shrugged. “G’night, Alex.” She sidestepped him, heading to the elevator.

“Okay, but you can see us being endgame right?” Meredith asked again desperately. 

“Mere, I’ve already told you, you and Derek, if you want to make it work, you have to put in the effort! It depends on you two, not some magical twist of fate.”

“God, if he so much as looks at me funny, I’m reporting for sexual harassment.”

“That’s what everyone says before they sleep with him.” Callie said wryly. 

No. Because he had this thing with Rebecca. And she was supposed to be with Ben. But, God was it hard to give him space. 

“Please…” tears shined on his face, and his nose had started to run, “Please, please, please…”

He grabbed her by the back of her neck, forehead to forehead, pleading. “Alex-”

“Please...” She wiped his tears away, but new ones replaced them just as quickly.

“Callie, oh my God! Congratulations!”

“Thank you, Heather! George and I just-did it!’

“Lexie! Wanna work with me today?”

“Oh my gosh, yes!”

Heather pulled her to the side. “Thank God, you’re my favorite. Don’t tell the others.”

He pulled her closer to him, as if that would save her from the water that poured into the elevator, soaking their scrubs through. Their shoes were squelching as they ran to dry land. Except, of course, there wasn’t any. The whole floor was flooded. 

“Oh, God, it’s seeping through my socks.” Heather groaned. 

“I can handle the mess.” Alex said softly. “You know that.”

“But- I’m so much. Alex, Mere thinks she’s all dark and twisty or whatever, but that’s nothing, not to invalidate her but, it’s nothing compared-”

He took her by the sides of the face, eyes open, honest.

“I said, I can handle it. Do you want this?” 

Heather nodded, as a loss for words.

“Then bring it on.”

“Get a crash cart, dammit!” Heather yelled, voice cracking as tears spilled over. She met Alex’s eyes, just as glassy as hers, and he took over compressions.

Her knees buckled. She fell to the floor as if in slow motion. Izzie, first, now George. Not Georgie. Her 007, her Bambi. O’Malley. The pain was constant, unceasing. Because he really was gone. She imagined him, like he should’ve been the next day, new Army uniform, neat buzzcut...her head was too full; it was too much. Her body wouldn’t move, her mind was debilitated-then strong arms grasping her, meeting her here, on the floor.

“He was. George was hit by a fucking bus!” They burst out in laughter, trying to stifle any echos so passersby wouldn’t freak out.

The addition of Mercy West was hell on earth. Even just the loss of Izzie made the workload shoot through the roof.

#WIP #greys anatomy #meredith grey #alex karev #izzie stevens #oc #george omalley #fanfic #my writing #take it easy on me i haven't written in a while #i wanted to write what i know so i made her mentally ill hehe

[angelanimedesaray]

Survive Or Live Chapter 4: Baby Steps

AN:  I am soooo sorry its been so long, guys, I hadn’t realized how much I’d been putting off this chapter, but as soon as I did, I jumped right on top of writing it again, I did not mean to neglect it for a whole month, whoops!

Characters:  Levi, Reader

Pairing:  (Eventual) Levi x Reader

Warnings:  Language, aaaaaand that’s pretty much it.  They’re feeling each other out (Not that way, you filthy minded peers of mine, bwahaha) so there’s not much going on outside of that right now.

Word Count:  4229

<---Previous Chapter    Masterlist      

*Mae’s POV*

Thankfully, there wasn’t that much gore on Mae’s clothes from today’s trip because of the scarcity of Rotters while she’d wandered the town.  So it didn’t take long for her to scrub out the stains that were on her shirt--it just took some elbow grease and some numbness in her fingers after her hands were plunged in the water so long.  There was a shaded spot by the bank that was thick with trees, giving her plenty of cover away from any unwelcome eyes while she worked while she had a clear view around her immediate surroundings.  It was a decently long walk away from the farmhouse, which meant she was going to have to haul water back an unpleasant distance so Levi would have water to do his laundry.  He could probably rest comfortably on the steps with his leg elevated on one of her gas tanks or something.  On the bright side, she just needed to haul the water over, he was the one who had to scrub all that gore and grass stains out of the clothes, not her.  She could settle for that trade.

Though, on another downside, it was going to take about six trips, three to the river and three back, simply for the laundry today.  Thank God she wasn’t out of shape.

Six trips later, with her laundry put up on a line in the backyard between two trees, two buckets of water sitting at the foot of the steps as well as a large gas cannister for Levi to elevate his leg on, and her arms aching far more than she wanted to admit, Mae skipped up the steps, heaving a sigh as she walked back inside.  Levi was still stretched out on the couch, though considering he was facing the front of the house and could see out the window, he’d probably been watching her make three times as many trips as normal simply to get him set up to do his laundry.

“All right, I got you all set up to do your laundry on the steps, if you’re okay with doing that now,” Mae said, clawing back some sweaty strands of hair that were plastered to her forehead after lugging the full buckets all the way from the river to the house.  Levi was already rising off the couch halfway through her sentence, being mindful of his leg but still moving with overall ease as he started for the door.  His hand trailed across the occasional surface, looking like a simple passing touch, but Mae was suspicious it was actually for a bit more added stability as he did an odd sort of stubborn hobble to and out the door.  Considering all the fuss he’d made so far about helping him, Mae let him be stubborn, so long as he wasn’t putting any--or at least not much--weight on his injured leg.

“I’ll make dinner while you’re doing that!” she called after him, the only response the sound of the door shutting behind him.

Not too friendly...I guess I understand why, he has an injury that could put him on bedrest for a month or longer which could be a death sentence in certain sticky apocalypse situations, he’s stuck with a stranger, I can only imagine what happened to draw practically all the Rotters in town to him…but still.

Shaking her head, Mae started flickering through different rooms of the house both upstairs and downstairs, gathering the things she needed for dinner, getting a fire started in the fireplace, and even remembering to grab a few things for Levi to pass the time with since he was going to be stuck on the couch for a while.  Dinner ingredients was the last thing she gathered, already grabbing one of the bouillon cubes she’d found on her scavenging trip today, a mix of white and black beans, water she’d already purified and stored for drinking and cooking...

She hesitated in the kitchen, hand hovering over a stash of some of her more...richer ingredients.  Or at least, ingredients she was hesitant to use because she’d noticed her guest was so sharp.  Sure, she was trusting him enough to let her into her home, but he was also injured, so she felt she might be able to take him in a fight if things turned sour.  And while she had shared some of her medical supplies with him, she hadn’t showed him where she was hiding them because she didn’t trust him that much, yet.  Did she really want to use ingredients that could tip off her sharp guest to the fact that she was a little more well off than most, that she had a comfortable set up that allowed her a source for fresh seasonings?  Did she want to suggest that what she was putting in their dinner wasn’t all scavenged, that some of it...was grown?  That the beans weren’t canned and pilfered from town?  That she had a spot she could grow green chilis?

Not to mention, she liked using those chilis in the winter, so she stored as much as she could.  Did she really want to tap into that storage now?  Normally what she was making she’d save for the winter, but Levi was injured, and she wanted to cook something a little more feel-good because of that.  He was in a shitty situation, she knew that, and she was willing to try and make it better for him.

Cause even if she still did have the survival sense and caution to not blindly, completely trust him right away, she was trying to build a bridge here, not raze the entire forest to the ground.  Even if the basic caution levels of today’s world wanted her to not do certain things, she had to in order to extend an olive branch and hopefully get someone to talk to.

She didn’t want to go crazy from the isolation, especially while knowing what was happening to her but being unable to do anything about it.

She didn’t want to survive if it meant withering away forgotten in some quiet corner of the world.

She didn’t want to be alone anymore.

Was it too much to ask that she had someone in her life again, someone that--from what she had seen--was perfectly capable of taking care of themselves so she wouldn’t have to worry about them.  She didn’t care if he was a friend, a neighbor, or even the old world equivalent of that delivery guy you saw so much you were on a first name basis, she just wanted another human being somehow involved in her life again.

Screw it.

Mae shook her head, grabbing green chilis, onions, garlic, oregano, and cloves without any further hesitation.  If she wanted to make a change, she had to throw caution to the wind.  She was gonna be kind even if this ended up being a mistake and her guest turned on her.  She had to be willing to trust and make an effort with people if she wanted people in her life again.  Sure, there were a greater amount of dangerous people left in the world that meant she had to be careful, but that didn’t mean there weren't any decent people left.  She wasn’t going to know if it was the right choice if she didn’t try, and she was already this deep into this situation, what was the point of hesitating now?  He hadn’t hurt her, he’d let her help him, even with his stubborn ‘I can take care of myself’ attitude.  So far, she had no reason not to trust him except paranoia.  She’d keep giving him more trust little at a time until he gave her a reason not to.

*Levi’s POV*

With his turtleneck sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his leg propped up on the gas canister as comfortably as he could manage, Levi scrubbed at the plethora of stains on his clothes.  He was glad to have something to do with his hands, something he enjoyed, nonetheless, but his gaze still roamed across his surroundings while he worked.

There was plenty of open space stretching out in front of the farmhouse that gave Mae enough of a warning if one of the ghouls or a group of them were coming--something that would come in handy if and when that horde in town decided to migrate, which could lead them this way.  He didn’t care much for the treeline, though.  It gave too much cover for an approaching horde or a hostile group of people--by the time either broke through the forest, it would be too late to try moving.  It was either standing and fighting, maybe escaping with next to nothing in the truck if Mae managed to avoid getting shot by a hostile group in the process, escaping on foot out the back, or, in the case of a horde, she could try to hunker down and wait it out until it passed.  That all depended on if she had the nerves to withstand being surrounded by a horde for an unknown length of time, and enough supplies to last a week or more in case the horde took a while to pass.  He didn’t know what her food situation was--yet--though she seemed to be set with her other supplies.  She was apparently comfortable enough to willingly give him pain meds--not the cheap kind, either--and was confident enough to not even ask for anything in return from him when he’d asked for her hay.

He kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.

This was some sort of trick, right?  Was she trying to get him more and more indebted to her before asking something truly taxing from him?  Did she just want him indebted to her indefinitely so she could continue to ask things of him in the future, no matter how much he didn’t want to do them?  She couldn’t be doing all of this for him out of a good-hearted nature and a simple desire to talk to someone.

Then again...if she was as well off as he suspected with what he had seen of her supplies…

He hadn’t been the most sociable person even before the world went to shit, so it didn’t bother him being alone, and he’d still had Scout and Ash to talk to if he really wanted to.  But Mae really was out here by herself from what he could tell so far--that could wear a person down after so long, he was pretty sure there’d been studies about that to prove as much.

Only time would tell if she was truly genuine or if she was planning on pulling the rug out from under him when she thought he least expected it.  He’d have to stay on guard, and wait and see what her true intentions really were.  It wasn’t like he was able to do much else in the meantime.

As Levi finished with the last of his laundry, his gaze returned to the far end of the field, attention caught by the sight of movement amongst the trees.  After a few more moments of following the distant motion with his gaze, a ghoul finally broke through the treeline, stumbling blindly towards the farmhouse with a lazy, unguided gait.

Levi was already getting to his feet, hand twitching towards the katana at his side before the door opened behind him and Mae appeared, strolling casually past him with bow and a single arrow in hand.

“Dinner’s nearly ready, if you want to head back inside.  I’ll go ahead and hang your clothes up with mine, so you can just leave those there,” she called, knocking the arrow and partially pulling the string back.

Mae whistled, just loud enough that the lone ghoul would hear, but soft enough it was faint even to Levi’s ears, which lowered the risk of drawing any other ghouls towards them.  Levi started to head inside, still watching Mae as the ghoul turned its attention towards her and starting running at her.  She simply brought her bow to a full draw, held perfectly still for maybe two or three seconds, then released, the arrow sailing right through the ghoul’s eye before it could even close half the distance to her.  With one last glance around the treeline, Levi tore his gaze from Mae as she made her way to retrieve the arrow, and made his way inside.

If she was good enough with that bow to hit infected barreling towards her with one clean head shot, surely she was decent at game hunting, too.  Sure, you couldn’t get a rabbit or a deer to come at you like you could an infected, but moving around towns to scavenge also required a certain level of stealth to avoid drawing the attention of too many ghouls.  Put that together with her aim, she was probably perfectly capable of bagging a few rabbits or squirrels, perhaps even a deer if she was lucky enough to come across one.

Levi paused, halfway to the couch.  Was he really already calculating what more she could possibly offer him if they did enter into some kind of agreement going forward?  He hadn’t even decided if he trusted her or not, yet.  Then again, it wasn’t like he could shut that part of his brain off--it was all about survival these days, and whether he decided she was a potential ally (something he hadn’t had in a long time) or a threat, he needed to know what she was capable of, and what she had.

Levi resumed his position on the couch with his leg propped up on throw pillows, breathing in the strong scent of...chili?  He looked over at the fireplace to what must have once been a metal gallon paint can now being used as a makeshift campfire pot, the source of the smell.  The scent opened his airways as he tried to pick out what he was smelling exactly, able to pick out the smell of chicken easily.

There was no way there was actual chicken in that can, was there?  He hadn’t seen any chickens running around the farmyard, and from his experience finding a can of chicken that was still good was like winning the lottery these days.

Aside from the distracting aroma of whatever was in that makeshift pot, Levi also noticed there was now a candle, a flip lighter, and a few books on the coffee table, all within arm’s reach.  He picked through the titles to see what options she’d given him, a small frown on his face as he did so.

A compilation of a thousand poems, a compilation of short stories, the novelization of the original trilogy of Star Wars, and the last two Lord of the Rings books.  All but the short stories were pocket book sized, so maybe she could justify packing them around if they looked smaller...even if they were still thick books.  You had to keep some kind of entertainment when it was just you out here, right?  For him, it was pretty much survival work and cleaning what he could with what he had.  For Mae, it looked like books were what she preferred.

Well, at least there was some variety and he wouldn’t be stuck looking at the same book over and over again.

Mae came back inside, not a speck of blood on her and hands shining with water after putting his clothes on the line, setting her bow back in its spot by the door before she disappeared briefly into the kitchen  After coming back with two bowls and spoons, she started divvying out what was in the can.  Levi noticed a lack of white meat in what he could now visually confirm as a chili of some kind as Mae passed him his share, though he definitely smelled chicken, much stronger now that he had a steaming hot bowl in hand.

She’d managed to get her hands on broth, then.  A find he envied her for, though the envy was abated since she was sharing it with him right now.  And even though the chili was missing the meat, it looked like it had everything else.

As they ate in silence, Levi mulled over the taste, doing his damndest not to look at Mae and tip her off to the fact that he was coming to quite a few conclusions simply from the chili.  There were herbs in this, and onions, maybe garlic, not to mention two different kinds of beans--not only was it the fact that she had these ingredients that caught his attention, but it was also the fact that it tasted fresh.  He knew the difference between processed shit that had been sitting for a long time on a shelf, and actual, fresh foods.  He hadn’t seen a blatant garden around her farmhouse, yet, but now he was sure that she was comfortable enough and had been here long enough to be growing things.  The only thing that was definitely scavenged for this was the broth and maybe some of the beans.  She didn’t have livestock (clearly, who did, in times like these?), but she was growing things.  And here she was, wasting more of her resources on him, wanting him to come by regularly and at least take her hay--he could probably work out a trade of some kind for whatever she was growing if he kept an eye out for something she didn’t have, something he could give in return since he was positive the currency of companionship only extended so far.

Slow down, don’t jump the gun, you’re smarter than that.  Figure out if you can trust her or not before you start planning for a trade partnership of some kind.

This all had to be too good to be true, there had to be a catch somewhere.  He just hoped he could figure out what it was sooner, rather than later.

*Mae’s POV*

Even if her current guest was frustratingly hard to converse with, at least she wasn’t alone anymore.  Levi was a man of few words, it seemed, while Mae seemed to have too many to spare.  He didn’t stop her from chattering at him, but he didn’t respond much, which made it hard to continue conversations.  As such, Mae found herself continuously trying to think of ways (with increasing complexity) to get the stoic man to have to respond to whatever she said.  It was starting to get to the point she was sure she was simply making a fool of herself every time she tried.  At this point, she was positive he knew what she was doing, and was purposely making it difficult for her for his own amusement.  She hadn’t forgotten that one time she could have sworn she saw his lips twitch towards a smile, or the amused glint in his eyes when she’d finally thrown in the towel one day with a pout and a huff of frustration.  If he really was doing it on purpose...well, it was frustrating, but at least she knew he had a sense of humor, even if at the moment it was at her expense.

Of course, she was also rapidly running out of topics to talk about that didn’t intrude into personal subject matters she knew for a fact were still far, far off limits.

Today, however, there was bound to be a conversation of some sorts, since she was finally checking his leg to decide once and for all if it was fractured or sprained.  Which meant she was also going to be telling him whether he was stuck on her couch even longer, or if he was going to be allowed to start moving around again.  For the time being, Levi’s steel blue eyes were trained on Mae as she prodded at his leg, eyes looking for bruising or swelling, fingers feeling for sensitive spots along bone or muscle…

“Well, it’s not fractured,” she eventually announced, noticing that some of the tension seemed to leave Levi’s shoulders at the news.  “But it is still a rather nasty sprain.  You’re going to need another two, three weeks out of the action to make a full recovery.  More time off your feet at the start, and then slowly getting back to moving around--”

Levi was already shaking his head, moving to sit up and pull his leg away but finding himself stopped by Mae keeping a vice grip where her hand was still resting just above his calf.  “I can’t wait that long, I have to get back--”

As he tried to stand again, Mae pushed him back down with more effort than she cared to admit.  “You’re going to stay on bedrest if you don’t want to fuck up your leg any worse than it already is.  Would you rather be stuck on bedrest for a month or more?” she pointed out sharply.

Levi scowled, looking out the window once more and stewing silently with his thoughts as Mae got started re-wrapping his leg.  He seemed like a rather practical person, so Mae figured that after telling him trying to go running around on a still healing leg was going to simply restrict him to more bed-rest to heal a worse injury, that would be the end of it.

Apparently not.

“There’s a horse where I’ve been staying.  It's why I need the hay.  What I left for him will be running out either today or tomorrow.”  As Levi spoke, his entire posture was taunt, like the information was being forcibly pulled from him by necessity.  He wasn’t looking at Mae, either, gaze still stubbornly fixed out the window.  “That’s why I can’t wait.  I need to get back.”

Mae leaned back, feeling her molars start to grind together out of annoyance as she let out a long breath through her clenched teeth.  “What the hell?”

Levi’s gaze snapped back towards Mae, and he appeared genuinely surprised to see that her reaction to the news was annoyed anger.

“You should have said something earlier, this could have been handled better,” she huffed, pausing in her wrapping and taking a moment to consider what she could do.  It wasn’t like she was going to let his horse starve.  He needed to be off that leg as much as possible, but she didn’t have a trailer or anything to put a horse in if she was going to make a retrieval trip by herself, not to mention she doubted Levi was going to let her go to his safehouse by herself when they hardly knew each other.  Sure, she’d let him see hers, but that didn’t mean he trusted her enough to show her his--or at least let her wander around unsupervised.  At least while Levi was here, he couldn't really move around, and the ground floor was open enough she could see if he tried hobbling about.  They’d both have to go.  That way he could be sure she wasn’t sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, and they could have one of them drive back while the other rode the horse--preferably Mae, so Levi wouldn’t be jostling that leg too much.  As for what to actually do with the horse...well, there was plenty of hay, here, and it was a farmhouse for a reason.  She’d have to do some work, but she could set something temporary up in time for the horse to come down tomorrow, at the earliest.

Shaking her head, Mae resumed wrapping his leg.  “Today, I’ll go make sure the barn is in stable condition--no holes or anything like that, set up a spot for your horse, get some hay out of the field, and tomorrow we can bring...you said him?  We can bring him down here so he’s looked after and fed, and I can still keep an eye on you so you don’t mess up that leg.  And I can start looking at fixing that fence so they’re not cooped up in that barn the whole time you’re recovering.”

“I don’t want--” Levi started to say in what was surely protest at the thought of Mae finding out where he was living, but she quickly cut him off.

“Well how else are you going to get up there and back down without me?  I don’t have a trailer for you to put a horse in, and if you try getting your horse down here yourself, you’ll probably put a lot of stress on that leg and end up stuck down here with me even longer.  I’m coming so life is easier for both of us.  End of story.”

Levi’s eyes flashed in annoyance.  “If you’re so keen on getting me talking, are you ever gonna stop interrupting me?”

“Probably not when you’re just going to be difficult,” Mae sassed.  She wished she had a pair of glasses to peer over as she looked up at him, simply to complete the effect.  Levi’s scowl only deepened, retreating back into that silence that Mae had been going nuts trying to crack all this time.  Ah, well, at least they’d had something of a conversation today.  It was a hell of a lot better than talking to the sky or the occasional rotter.

Tags:  @humanitys-hottestsoldier​ @arthurmorgan-wiki​

#levi #levi ackerman #captain levi #levi heichou #aot levi #levi aot #snk levi #levi snk #levi attack on titan #attack on titan levi #levi x oc #levi x original character #levi ackerman x oc #levi ackerman x original character #captain levi x oc #captain levi x original character #original character #zombie au #zombie apocalypse au #survive or live #angeldesaray #language #slow burn #levi fanfic #levi fanfiction #levi fan fiction #levi ackerman fanfic #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman fan fiction #captain levi fanfic

[captaincanarygotmelike]

Voices Carry Alternate Ending

So I promised an alt. ending to Voices Carry literally in July. Whoops. Anyway, if you’re new, you should probably read the original fic (linked here) bc this won’t make a whole lot of sense if you don’t but it’s your life.

Read on AO3

Read on Fanfiction.net

“Avery’s dancing with someone and it isn’t me?” Leonard heard someone exclaim.

He looked over in time to see Avery run over and jump into Felicity’s arms, letting her swing her around in circles.

Leonard felt someone grab his hand.

“You wanna dance, Leonard?” Sara asked, a smirk on her lips.

Leonard tried to smirk back, but found that he couldn’t, his body paralyzed, his eyes seeing nothing but darkness.

You wanna dance, Leonard?

The words reverberated in his mind until they took on a new voice.

Or…the same voice, but different somehow. Maybe younger? Older? He couldn’t tell. Different definitely. More of a joking tone, as if Sara — yes, he was sure it was still Sara — knew he would say no.

No thanks, I’ll watch.

His voice now, although he hadn’t spoken them.

Suit yourself.

Sara again, indifference in her voice, like she was talking to a stranger.

The world around Leonard was still dark, or maybe he just couldn’t open his eyes.

Dollar beers.

Mick’s words, rough and jagged, floated into his mind like a bubble.

One. Two. Three. Four.

Avery, her voice high and sweet.

Gotta love the seventies.

Mick again.

The seventies?

An image flickered into Leonard’s mind of a bar he had never been in, an old jukebox in the corner, a deer head mounted on a tall post, red, knotty wood making up almost every surface, and Sara standing in front of him.

Her hair was longer than he remembered, and she was wearing some sort of costume? Something he’d never seen before: white and leather with a halter neck.

Suit yourself.

Sara handed him her beer, the bottle cold in the palm of his hand.

Recognition flooded his mind as the White Canary walked into the empty space of the bar in St. Roch, Louisiana, 1975.

He and Sara and Mick had all just joined the time traveling mission to save time from Vandal Savage. They were benched from the first mission, so they crashed a bar.

They weren’t benched from other missions though. He remembered breaking into Savage’s house with Mick and…tall…painfully optimistic…Ray. He remembers the rest of the team now, Kendra, Jax, Stein, and Rip, their captain. He remembers breaking Mick and Ray out of a Russian gulag. He remembers nearly freezing in the cargo hold of the Waverider, Mick’s betrayal and return, pointing the cold gun at Sara. He remembers holding down the failsafe at the Oculus Wellspring.

Me and you.

You wanna steal a kiss from me, Leonard.

Leonard.

“Leonard!”

The voice was louder now, solid, and certainly not Sara’s.

Snart!”

It’s lower, a man’s, but not as low as Mick’s, somewhere in the middle.

His eyes opened and he could see again, for the first time since the wedding.

His wedding.

His vision focused and he recognized the med bay on the Waverider, clean and painfully bright.

Ray Palmer stood beside the bed.

“You’re awake!” he exclaimed. His face was as bright as ever, but there was still concern in his eyes.

“Thanks for letting me know,” he grumbled, pushing himself into a more upright position.

There was a beat of silence.

“What happened?” he finally asked.

He hadn’t wanted to say it, to admit to Raymond and himself the position of vulnerability he was in.

“We’re not really sure,” Ray answered, looking intently at the screen displaying his vitals, “You, y’know, died when the Oculus blew up, or at least that’s what we thought. A year and half went by without any sign of you and then all of a sudden Gideon started freaking out and then we found you passed out in an alley behind some bar in Louisiana, 1975.”

Another second of silence.

“What happened?”

This time it was Ray who asked.

“I mean,” he continued, “did you get sucked into the timeline? Because that’s what I think happened.”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Or maybe destroying the Oculus reset your timeline or, what do you think?” Ray paused when he realized Leonard wasn’t responding, “Hey, are you okay?”

“I need to talk to Rip,” he said, “Alone.”

Confusion etched itself across Ray’s face, but he hid it surprisingly well.

Leonard wasn’t surprised by his concern. The more he came to remember who he was here, on the Waverider, the more he recognized that genuinely seeking out their captain was extremely out of character.

“Rip is,” Ray hesitated, “not here.”

“Not here?”

“Look, I know it’s been a while, but—”

“Who’s Captain, then?”

“Sara.”

Leonard felt a pang in her heart at her name.

“Oh.”

“But I’ve been working pretty closely with Gideon,” Ray said hurriedly, “I can try to help.”

Leonard said nothing, gesturing for him to continue.

“I assume you want to figure out what happened. You are aware of how you…” he paused, “…left us — I guess died isn’t really the best word now.”

“The Oculus.”

“Right. We thought the Oculus explosion killed you. Gideon never found any traces of your survival, so we just assumed you had died. We did have some other theories, so we set up an alert if you ever turned up anywhere. Eighteen months later, here we are.”

“I just, what, showed up?”

“Seems like it,” Ray replied, “in St. Roch, 1975 at the bar you went to with Mick and Sara.”

Leonard let his eyes close at the sound of Sara’s name.

“What?” Ray asked. Leonard opened his eyes and shook his head.

“Where did I come from?” he asked, hearing anger in his voice he hadn’t realized he was feeling.

“We don’t know — not yet anyway. I’m almost afraid to ask, but,” Ray hesitated, “where were you?”

Leonard exhaled heavily.

“I was—” he stopped for a moment, thinking, “I think I was on…not this Earth. Another one. I was me, but things about me were different.”

“Different how?”

“I was still Captain Cold,” he answered, “but I hid who I really was. My sister wasn’t Golden Glider, Mick wasn’t Heatwave — Mick wasn’t around at all really.”

“And you didn’t work on the — a — Waverider, or with anybody on this team?”

“No— well, not entirely.”

“What do you mean?”

“I knew — know — Sara.”

“Oh,” he said, his eyebrows raised, “And you were with her?”

“Yeah, you could say that,” he replied, feeling a smirk creep onto his lips.

“So let me get this straight,” Ray said, starting a slow pace around the med bay, “You have all your memories from your life on this other earth, from childhood to today. And you have all your memories from your life on this Earth?”

“As of ten minutes ago, yes.”

Ray nodded slowly.

“Okay, well, the first thing we did when we got you to the med bay was run a test to see if you are really you — our Earth’s you.”

“And?”

“You are the Earth-One Leonard Snart. The cells in your right hand are younger than the rest of your body, from when you had to regrow it two years ago. According to Gideon, that event is unique to Earth-One Leonard Snart.

“Lucky me.”

“So now we have to ask, how did you end up on another Earth?” Ray continued, “And which Earth was it?”

“You think that’s what happened?”

“Well, my other thought is that you were in a dream world, you know, inside your head, but given how visceral your knowledge of this other life is, I don’t really think that’s the case,” Ray replied. His face clouded over in thought, “Or maybe the aliens.”

“What?”

Rip shook his head.

“Never mind. Probably not. Anyway, we can run a search to figure out what Earth you ended up on, but we’ll need to go to the bridge. Gideon, is Snart okay to make it there alright?”

“Yes, Mr. Palmer, I believe Mr. Snart has recovered enough to not need the services of the medical bay.”

“Perfect.”

Ray took a step back and waited while Leonard got to his feet.

“So,” he said as they walked down the corridor leading to the bridge, “What I think happened is when you destroyed the Oculus, the explosion pulled you into the time stream of another Earth, and you became an anachronism.”

“What’s an anachronism?” Leonard asked drily.

“Man, have you missed a lot,” Ray sighed, “Anachronisms are changes to the timeline that were caused by the ripple effect of other changes. Stein caused an anachronism when he gave his younger self some advice and now he has a daughter, Lily. He has memories of both lives, with and without Lily, same as you with the two Earths.”

“So…” Leonard said, trailing off when he couldn’t find a way to continue.

“I can find the Earth you were on if you want,” Ray suggested.

After a moment of thought, Leonard nodded.

“Okay, so I just need a detail that could be unique to that particular Earth, like how having to regenerate your hand is unique to you,” he explained. By that time, they had reached the bridge, stopping in front of the holo table, “Do you have anything in mind?”

Leonard thought for a while, considering the two worlds he had lived in.

“Avery Lance.”

Ray met his eyes for a moment, but didn’t say anything.

“Gideon,” he called into the air, “Run a multiverse search for Avery Lance in the year 2018.

There was silence for a moment.

“I found records of an Avery Felicity Lance, age four, currently living in Central City on Earth sixty-three.”

Leonard wasn’t listening. A picture had appeared on the holo table — Avery, in a floral print skirt and pink blouse, sandals on her feet, a white bow in her wild curls, and backpack straps over her shoulders. Sara was crouched down at her side and they were both smiling into the camera.

Leonard knew this picture well. It was taken on Avery’s first day of preschool, and sat in a frame on a shelf in the living room.

He thought of Sara and Avery. The new weight of the wedding band on his ring finger had been a constant thought in his mind. He could only hope the mysterious ways of time were protecting them from what was going on, and he was trying to avoid altogether the thought of never returning to them.

“Snart,” Ray said, his voice softer than it had been thus far, “This is Earth-63-Sara’s daughter?” Leonard nodded, “And yours?”

“Not…biologically,” Leonard answered, not taking his eyes off the picture, “but she’s…” he trailed off, trying to find the right words, “I love her like she’s mine.”

“And Sara wasn’t just a business partner.”

“No,” he said, his voice soft, “Our wedding was today.”

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to share that particular part of his life, but at this point it didn’t seem to matter.

“Mazel Tov,” Ray replied somewhat uncomfortably.

“Thanks,” Leonard replied, expressionless.

“Well, Gideon and I are going to figure out how this happened. In the meantime, if you’d like to,” he paused, “reacquaint yourself with the ship and the team, you can.”

Leonard nodded curtly, turned, and headed for the metal doorway.

He’d be lying if he said his memory of the Waverider and its maze of corridors was perfect, but it was starting to come back to him. He made it back to his quarters relatively easily.

The doors opened automatically as he approached, and once inside, he was surrounded by his old belongings, although he wasn’t sure if old was the right word.

There was a frame on a black desk holding a faded photograph of Lisa at her high school graduation. On Earth-63, Leonard had a similar picture from Lisa’s college graduation, but he also knew on this Earth, Earth-1 Lisa hadn’t gone to college, and neither did he.

It was strange, when he first woke up, he had considered what was apparently Earth-63 to be his real Earth, but the longer he was here and the more he remembered, it was beginning to even out. He had lived both, and had memories of both lives. Both of them were real.

Leonard wasn’t sure if that was a reassuring thought. He wondered if he was stuck on this Earth now — although again, stuck didn’t seem like the right word, because there was a part of him that felt relieved to be back. Of course, there was an equally strong part of him that desperately wanted to return to Earth-63. He just wasn’t sure if that was a possibility.

He turned when he heard the sound of knocking on the metal door.

“Hey,” Jax said, taking a step into the room, “How’re you doing?”

“Fine,” he replied.

“I, uh, sort of accidentally overheard you and Ray on the bridge,” he said, “Look, I’m really sorry, man. I really hope we find a way to get you back to Earth-63 and your family, if that’s what you want.”

“So do I,” he replied.

“Have you said hi to the rest of the team yet?”

“No.”

“Well, you should. We missed you around here.”

Jax nodded once, then turned and left the room.

Leonard thought about what Jax had said and found he did want to talk to the team. He found he was beginning to remember the people he worked with for the five months he was on the Waverider before the Oculus. He remembered how much he cared about them. He realized that this was somewhat uncharacteristic for this version of him, but so was self-sacrifice to save all of history, at least it would have been when the mission began. The mission had changed him. He probably wouldn’t have let himself acknowledge that before, but at this point, it seemed sort of futile. He’d changed a lot on Earth-63 as well. It was a good thing. Barry — Earth-63 Barry — had said something only a few hours early which led him to realize that past versions of himself could never have been capable of being loved by Sara Lance. He’d continued to become a better person because of her. perhaps that’s why he drifted to Sara on this Earth as well.

When he’d first woken up, thoughts of returning to Earth-63 and Sara and Avery had nearly consumed him. Those thoughts certainly weren’t gone, but he couldn’t deny there was a part of him that wanted to stay here, on Earth-1. That thought left a somewhat bitter taste in his mouth. He had a wife and a daughter on Earth-63, yet he still felt a desire to stay here. He had unfinished business here, both on this Earth and on the Waverider.

He couldn’t help but think of Lisa. Did the team tell her what happened after the Oculus? Did she think he was dead? Leonard hadn’t bothered to tell her about the Waverider and the mission because he figured they’d return mere minutes after they left.

And what about Mick. He didn’t know why it had taken so long to think of his old friend, his partner, except perhaps that they hadn’t been as close on Earth-63 as they were here.

Either way, Leonard knew the last time they had interacted was when he had knocked Mick out with the cold gun to take his place at the Oculus.

He remember what Jax had said about visiting the team. Leonard sighed and headed for the door.

He remembered where Mick’s room was. He hadn’t gone there particularly often when he was on the ship. For as long and as well as they knew each other, they weren’t particularly close. He actually thought he might have spent more time in Sara’s room than Mick’s.

Predicting the future, he thought, then pushed the idea out of his mind, realizing as he did that he wasn’t sure which Sara he’d been thinking of.

He rounded a corner and nearly collided with someone. He took a step back and saw familiar light brown hair — the same color as Avery’s — messy in a way that seemed like it was on purpose. He was slightly more built than on Earth-63, but he was dressed the same: t-shirt and loose-fitting jeans.

“Hey,” he said, holding out a hand, “Nate Heywood. You must be Captain Cold. Ray talks about you all the time.”

Leonard stood still, not really sure how to react. He had never considered the potential overlaps between the two Earths he knew, overlaps he couldn’t foresee.

Nate Heywood hadn’t been on the team when Leonard was last a part of it, yet here he was. He wondered what else was different.

Had anybody else joined the team? He knew Rip was gone, although he didn’t know why — maybe after the Oculus they defeated Savage and saved Miranda and Jonas. Maybe he was with his family.

Either way, Sara was captain of the Waverider now, a fact he hadn’t gotten to process yet.

What about at home? Is Lisa dating Cisco on this Earth? Is she working on the Flash’s team? What about Malcolm Merlyn? As memories of Earth-1 returned to him, he remembered hearing about earthquakes in a district in Star City, attributed to Malcolm Merlyn. What was he doing now? Still in jail, hopefully.

“Hey,” Nate said, slowing lowering his hand, “You alright?”

“Peachy,” he replied, brushing past him towards Mick’s room.

It was a disaster zone.

Mick had always been the messiest person Leonard had ever known. This wasn’t particularly out of the norm when they were teenagers, but apparently he’d never grown out of it. At least something was consistent between the two Earths.

Mick was sitting on the edge of the bed, tinkering with the heat gun. He looked up.

“Mick,” he said, leaning against the doorframe.

“Heard you were back from the dead,” he replied, glancing up at him before looking back to his gun.

“Seems like it.”

“Haircut told me you were on a different Earth.”

“Seems like it.”

“He said you married Sara on that Earth,” Mick eventually said, “Nice job.”

“Thanks.”

Mick didn’t respond immediately, long enough for Leonard to think he should say more. He felt a strange need to apologize to him, but he wasn’t sure why.

“After you died, I told Sara that I wish I’d ‘a done more to push you together.”

“You knew?”

“ ‘course I know. The only ones on this tin can who didn’t know were you and Blondie. Glad to hear it worked out on one Earth, though.”

Leonard didn’t respond.

“Did you know me on this other Earth?” Mick asked.

“I did,” he replied, “We weren’t as close though, not in the last five or six years — remember Freeport Warehouse.”

“Yeah,” Mick said with one short laugh, “Almost didn’t get outta that one.”

“Well, we didn’t. Got three years each — except yours turned into seven because you kept pissing off the guards. After that we didn’t really work together much anymore.”

“Did you invite me to the wedding?”

“I did.”

“Did I come?”

“Yeah. You did.”

Neither spoke for a moment, Mick focusing on the heat gun, Leonard’s eyes roaming around the room that was becoming more familiar with each passing minute.

“You shouldn’t ‘a done it,” Mick said.

“Done what?”

“Knocked me out. Traded places with me.”

“Doesn’t seem like it really mattered in the end.” Leonard replied.

“Still. Shouldn’t ‘a done it. Not for me. Didn’t deserve it.”

Leonard furrowed his eyebrows. Apparently he wasn’t the only rogue who had changed during their time on the Waverider.

“Stein, Jax, and the boy scout are working on a way to get to your other Earth,” Mick continued, seeming unbothered by not getting a response to his previous statement. “You gonna go?”

Leonard didn’t answer immediately, even thought he knew what he was going to say. Mick’s question had made him realize that he was going to need to make a decision eventually, and the longer he stayed here, the harder that became.

“I really don’t know.”

—

Leonard left Mick’s room only a couple minutes later. Mick was a man of few words, and Leonard could sense when the conversation would go no further.

He headed back towards his room the way he came. He was nearing the corridor leading to the bridge when a familiar figure walked out of it and turned his way.

Leonard was standing face to face with Sara Lance. Sara’s expression was one he’d never seen before — not on this version nor her Earth-63 counterpart — holding both anger and sadness. He felt his lips involuntarily part, his eyes softening.

Leonard saw something change on Sara’s face, and before he knew what was happening, she surged towards him and they were kissing.

Kissing this Earth’s Sara was not like kissing the Sara on Earth-63. That Sara was gentler, not hardened by years on a remote island inhabited by training assassins. This Sara’s strength was apparent in her touch, one hand on his cheek, the other on the back of his neck.

Everything came flooding back to him, the smirks exchanged over the holo table during team meetings, fighting back to back against Savage’s army — not even fighting with Mick was as effortless. Everything about this Sara he’d ever thought and felt came back.

He pulled away. He met her eyes, seeing the sadness had returned.

“Sara—”

She shook her head, opening her mouth to speak and closing it again before she brushed past him.

Leonard watched her go for a moment before he sighed and continued towards his room.

—

He didn’t leave his quarters at all after his interaction with Sara. A couple hours later, Ray poked his head into the room.

“Hey,” he said, “So I’ve been talking to Gideon and we think we figured out a way to get you back to Earth-63— if you wanted.”

Leonard didn’t say anything so he continued.

“And we think we figured out a way to sort of reset the timeline there, so if you wanted to stay here, it’ll be like nothing ever happened. Nobody gets hurt. I could explain how it all works if you wanted—”

“No thanks.”

“Yeah, sorta figured,” he shrugged, “Anyway, I know it’s a tough decision so take your time.”

He backed out of the room and the metal doors slid closed.

A few minutes later, he heard another voice in the doorway.

“Hey.”

Leonard turned his head to see Sara in the spot Ray had just left.

“I’m sorry about—” she hesitated, “I’m sorry about before. I…your expression when…I’m just sorry. Ray told me about Earth-63, how you’re married to…to that version of me, and about your daughter.”

He nodded slowly.

“What’s her name?” Sara asked, moving farther into the room.

“Avery Felicity Lance,” he replied, unable to conceal the small smile that appeared on his face.

“Felicity?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re closer with her on my — that — Earth than here.”

“The timelines are different?”

He nodded.

“How?” she asked, “How did I end up — not what I am today.”

“You didn’t go on the boat.”

Sara went still. Leonard knew she had always wondered who she would be had she not gone on the Queen’s Gambit with Oliver. Maybe this was it. Maybe she would finish college, become a cop, have a daughter.

She wouldn’t meet him though. He knew that much. His past on Earth-63 was bad, but his past here was much, much worse. Putting aside other discrepancies that would stand between them meeting (for one, he was pretty sure he’d never even seen the apartment building he and his sister had lived in on Earth-63, the one where he and Sara had met), there was no possibility Sara would give him the time of day. None.

“What else?” she asked.

“Your parents are still divorced and your mom still lives in Central City, but your dad is married to Felicity’s mother.”

“Really?” Sara interjected, “I don’t think they even know each other here.”

“Tommy’s alive,” he continued. She nodded, “He’s married to your sister.”

He saw her eyes widen slightly, her lips parting.

“What?”

“My sister died,” she told him, “sometime during the first few months of the mission. I found out after you…after the Oculus.”

“I’m sorry.”

Sara nodded, then shook her head, straightening.

“What else?” she asked, “So I didn’t go on the boat. What’d I end up doing?”

“You’re a cop,” he replied.

“Really?”

He nodded, “Actually, a homicide detective. you led the case to catch Captain Cold.”

“Is that how we met?” she asked, laughing.

“No,” he smirked.

“Why do I feel like that’s a long story,” she replied. He nodded, the smirk becoming a smile before he could stop it. “What about my — her — daughter? How old is she?”

“Four,” he replied, “Turns five in March.”

“Can I see her?”

Leonard pulled his phone out of his back pocket and opened a folder of photos he had of Avery. He knew there were a few photos of Sara — Earth-63 Sara — in there as well.

He watched as Sara looked at the pictures.

“She’s cute,” she told him, smiling as she swiped through the blurry selfies Avery had taken in the few seconds before Leonard noticed, “Baby pictures?”

Sara tipped the phone towards him so he could see a photo of Avery when she was a little over a year old, standing on chunky little legs in Dinah Lance’s kitchen. Her light brown curls were shorter, but just as wild.

He nodded.

“Huh,” she said, “I just never saw you as the kind of dad who had baby pictures on his phone.”

He didn’t. Well, not really. He had pictures of Avery now, mostly ones she’d taken herself. The only baby pictures he had of her were sent by Sara — Avery had needed them for a homework assignment.

“Do you know who her…” Sara hesitated, “biological dad is?”

“Yeah,” he replied. He sensed her next question and shook his head, “Doesn’t matter who.”

Sara nodded. A moment later, her face clouded over.

“Oh God, tell me it’s not Oliver.”

“It’s not Oliver,” he chuckled.

Sara stilled. Leonard remembered that the version of him Sara remembered rarely ever laughed or smiled (besides out of sarcasm, anyway).

He watched her sigh.

“You’re not staying,” she said. It wasn’t a question. She already knew the answer.

“No.”

“Because of them.”

“I love them,” he said, “more than I thought I ever could.”

She exhaled.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“No, I get it,” she shook her head. She waited a beat and then continued, “You should know — and I’m not saying this to convince you to stay, I swear — it really sucks not having you on the Waverider. It does. There’s too many Ray’s on board now. I wish you were here to balance things out.”

He chuckled.

“You still have Mick,” he replied.

“Mick’s not as good at pushing buttons as you were,” she shook her head, smiling slightly, “Team hasn’t been the same without you.”

He didn’t respond. There wasn’t anything he could say.

Sara spoke again.

“I wish I hadn’t left.”

“The Oculus?”

“No — well, yes — but I mean my room. When you came to talk to me.”

“Oh.”

“I always wondered…” she trailed off momentarily, “if I hadn’t left and we had kept talking and…stuff, would you still have taken Mick’s place.”

Leonard didn’t answer immediately. His conversation with Sara then had gone exactly how he thought it would, but if it hadn’t, if it had gone differently, maybe he would have made a different choice.

“I don’t know,” he replied honestly, “But you should know I meant what I said about thinking about you. I think that’s why I did what I did on the bridge, pulling the cold gun on you.”

“You know, I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to justify that kind of thing,” Sara said, her lips turning up in a smirk.

“I’m not,” he replied, “I was a jerk —”

“Guilty,” Sara cut in, still smirking, and Leonard felt a pang in his chest.

“I was a jerk,” he repeated, “but I think I was trying to convince myself that I didn’t care as much as I did.”

“And did it work.”

“No.”

“Captain,” Gideon’s voice rang out across the room, “Ray would like you to know that the tech to send Mr. Snart back to Earth-63 is ready.”

“Okay,” Sara replied. She met Leonard’s eyes, “Ready?”

“Yeah.”

—

“You’re sure this is what you want?” Ray asked when he and Sara were on the bridge. Leonard said nothing but raised an eyebrow at him, “Okay, well, you should know Gideon wants to erase your memories — you know, of this Earth.”

“Why?”

“After we bring you to Earth-63, we can’t come back, and there’s no way for you to get in contact with us. That’s not gonna be a problem if you don’t remember any of us and all of this. Besides, I can’t imagine wanting to have memories of two lives in a world where only one happened.”

“Fine.”

“Alright, so we figured out a way to sort of…beam you into Earth-63 in the exact place you left, and we’ll erase your memory then.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Ray repeated. He took on a look that conveyed a taxing internal debate before stepping forward and hugging Leonard.

“That was unnecessary,” he grumbled when Ray relinquished him.

Mick then moved forwards.

“I’m glad you’re not dead,” he told him as Leonard shook his hand.

“Me too. Tell my sister what happened.”

“ ‘Course.”

Jax and Stein both shook Leonard’s hand and then stepped back.

Sara started moving towards him, arms crossed in front of her.

“We’re gonna miss you around here,” she said. She stopped when she was just in front of him and turned to Ray. “He’s not gonna remember anything?”

“Not anything, just nothing from this Earth. Gideon said tha—”

“Perfect,” Sara breathed, grabbing Leonard’s face and capturing his lips with hers.Leonard gave into the kiss that time, snaking his arms around her waist.

“What the hell?” he heard a voice that sounded suspiciously like Nate whisper.

Sara’s hands trailed from his face to around his neck as she deepened the kiss. Leonard remembered the last time he had kissed Sara, when they were at the Oculus. He remembered when she pulled away, their eyes meeting. He remembered trying to memorize every inch of her in the seconds before she left.

Sara pulled away, untwining her arms from around his shoulders. Leonard didn’t move his hands from her waist. He met her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice low. She shook her head.

“Don’t,” she replied just as softly, “It’s okay.”

Finally, he let his arms drop and Sara stepped away from him.

“Ready?” Ray asked again.

“Yeah,” Leonard nodded.

Ray lifted his arm. In his hand was a small white gun with a wide, box-shaped barrel that looked not unlike the one Rip Hunter had used on him when he was first pulling together the team.

Leonard’s eyes flicked to Sara. Her expression was the same as when they were at the Oculus.

She gave him a small, almost imperceptible nod. He heard the click of the trigger, and as he turned back to Ray, a flash of white light completely consumed his vision.

—

“Hey,” Sara said, her hand moving to his arm. He met her eyes, seeing concern written on her face, “You okay? It looked like we lost you for a second.”

Leonard processed again where he was, saw the twinkling lights hung around them, illuminated by the steadily setting sun, heard the last few notes of Al Green’s Let’s Stay Together beginning to fade. He looked back to Sara, saw her in her wedding dress, felt the weight of her hand on his arm, and smiled.

“Just realizing how lucky I am,” he said.

“Oh really?” Sara asked, a smirk on her lips and eyebrows raised, “And why is that?”

“I dunno,” he replied, his arms moving to around her waist, “maybe because you’re beautiful and smart and strong.”

“I’m also your wife,” Sara replied, the smirk turning into a smile as she looped her arms around his neck.

“You’re proving my argument,” he murmured against her lips before Sara kissed him.

—

“Would you like me to land, Captain,” Gideon asked.

Sara didn’t answer immediately, looking out the jumpship window at the couple on the dance floor.

“Uh…no, Gideon,” she replied, “We’re leaving in a second.”

She continued looking at the scene below her. She’d never seen a more beautiful wedding before, with the lights and lanterns hanging from the rustic wooden frame lighting up the shiny black and white dance floor and the tables and chairs filled with people. She didn’t consider herself to be a wedding person — she hadn’t really even thought about the possibility of having one since before the Gambit. Maybe this version of her was.

She saw her father dancing with a blonde woman she had to assume was Felicity’s mother — Leonard really wasn’t kidding about that, she supposed.

Her eyes landed on Laurel then, and she felt tears pricking her eyes. She was dancing with Tommy a couple yards away from Leonard and this Earth’s Sara. She was laughing at something Tommy had said as they swayed back and forth to the music.

“Gideon, is there any way I can hear what’s going on down there — without them noticing, obviously.”

There was a click and then the first chorus of The Way You Look Tonight started playing  in the jumpship.

“Daddy!” Sara heard a high voice call. She watched a little girl run across the dance floor and jump into Leonard’s arms.

Even from a distance, Avery Lance looked just like her picture, with wild brown curls and shining eyes.

“Mama,” Avery said, “watch this!”

She squirmed out of Leonard’s arms and took his hand, twirling underneath it.

Sara watched her Earth-63 counterpart smile.

“Wow, Avie,” she said heard her say, “That’s so cool.”

Sara sat down in the pilot’s chair.

He made the right choice, she decided as she watched Leonard with this Earth’s Sara, Avery hanging onto his arm, chattering indistinguishably about something in the little girl manner she’d never been able to understand. He’d never looked that happy before, a genuine smile on his face as he looked to his wife.

“Gideon,” Sara said, “I’m ready to go.”

The jumpship jolted into motion, and as Avery’s little voice was carried into the wind with the music, Sara left Leonard for the last time.

#legends of tomorrow #captain canary #leonard snart #sara lance #cc ff #lot ff #mine #voices carry

[etherealblasphemy]

Return to Vasryia

OH SWEET CALYPSO IT’S BEEN A WHILE.

Apologies for taking so long! I’ve been a little caught up with schoolwork and extracurriculars (whoops). I hope this is worth it for you all! :D

TW: Mild language, mental recovery, mentions of hallucinations and imprisonment, possession, heavy angst (haha)

   The light still bothered them. It blinded their eyes and reminded them of the darkness of the dungeon, which in turn made them recall those awful visions that had shaken them so badly.

   Patton would come in every morning, patient and understanding as he tried his best to convince them the visions were just that- hallucinations of a terrified mind. He and the others were unraveling the seed of doubt that had been rooted on their mind, weeding it out as best they could.

   For now, they buried themself in their blanket, trying to block out the light.

   “Hey, Cal,” a soft voice whispered as they heard someone enter. “How are you doing?”

   “Too bright.” They burrowed deeper into the throes of their blankets, groaning. “Too dark. Too loud. Too quiet. There's no happy middle. There's no happy,” they mumbled, still delirious from another night spent unable to sleep without finding themself back in that miserable cell.

   “Would you like me to dim the lights?” Patton asked, voice calm and reassuring. They nodded. They paid no mind as the Drisine waved a hand, the ship magically knowing exactly how dark Patton wanted the room to be. “Is that better?”

   “Yeah,” they mumbled, rolling over. They felt the cot sink towards the middle as Patton sat down. They opened their mouth, trying to find the right words to speak, and closed it, finding nothing but ancient verses that had played upon lips for generations.

   “Hey, Cal, why don’t you tell me a story? You seem to be a good storyteller, if Sleeping Stars was any indication,” Patton giggled. Cal felt a ghost of a smile on their lips before it disappeared. “It doesn’t have to be anything in particular. Just something you like.” They sighed, racking their mind for a story.

   “Alright,” they mumbled, turning back over. “But it’s a stupid story.”

   Patton sent them a sweet smile. “I bet it’s not as stupid as you think. We’re so focused on beating out the bad, we forget all the good inside of us. I know you’re focused on the bad inside you right now, Cal, but I’ll always make sure you remember all the good.” Their heart twinged, touched by his meaningful words.

   They sucked in a breath, letting it out as a hiss between their teeth. “Right.” They hesitated, glancing at Patton for his reaction. He grinned patiently, grabbing their hand and squeezing it. “This story begins long, long ago, on a planet far, far away. There was a little… little child.” Their words lulled, feeling a familiar haze in the back of their mind. No! They had to fight it. They had to fight it, for Patton.

   “This little child loved the stars. To them, the stars were beings. To them, the stars were the only family they had. Now, the little child had… a fair amount of enemies. The child said they were strong, and got hurt because of it. But the child ran away. They ran far, far away, hoping that if they ran far enough they could land among the stars. They found a family. One they loved very much.” Patton straightened, his hand squeezing ever so slightly harder, as if knowing where this story was headed.

   “But then, a monster came. A snake, which the little child was so terrified of. Their family disappeared, one by one, until all that was left were the voices in their head. The child said they were strong, and got hurt because of it. But the child ran away again, still reaching for those stars that never got any closer no matter how much they ran.” They faltered, feeling tears prick at the back of their eyes.

    “What happened to the child?” Patton asked knowingly, watching Cal carefully for their body language. They had let go of the blanket, which was good enough for him.

   “The child was alone. For… a long, long time. They lived in a small apartment with six other children just like them, doing what they had to do to survive. They couldn’t see the stars anymore. For the first time in their life, the child felt truly alone.” Patton let out a soft gasp, his heart wrenching with empathy.

   “Did they… find a family?” Patton asked softly, letting his thumb run over Cal’s knuckles.

   “...yes.” Patton held his breath, anxious as to what this family was like. “The child found another family… but… as wonderful as this family was, as much as the little child loved them, they were still just a little child, scared, needy, and alone. And they wanted to be strong, they did, but to them it seemed that every time they tried to be, something would come along to prove how weak they really were. And they didn’t want their family to get hurt because of it, because soon enough they would see it, too- how worthless they were, how… how… broken they were.”

   “And… how does this story end?” he inquired, treading carefully. Cal looked him straight in the eyes, the usual light inside of them gone.

   “I don’t know.” Their voice wobbled dangerously.

   “...would you mind if I added on to it?” Cal shrugged. “Well, let’s say there’s a little shapeshifter, who’s been misunderstood all his life, told to calm down, to be serious, to smile once in a while. This little shapeshifter met the little child, and they became family. The child is scared, but the shapeshifter believes in them. He believes in their bravery, in their strength, and in their love. If I were that little shapeshifter, I would tell that child that I love them very much, and that… it’s okay to be scared sometimes.”

   Cal let their eyes flicker up to meet Patton's, full of love and patient understanding. “Patton… you know… you know, I'm that little child, right?” Patton nodded softly.

   “I know, Cal.”

   “I'm so scared, Patton.”

   “I know, Cal. I am, too. Draven… he's extremely powerful. But… so are you.” He let his head drop, studying the creases in his pants. “I know something happened to you back in that dungeon, something awful. You don't think we love you.” Cal bit their lip, scared of what Patton was going to say. “Cal, you said it yourself, you found a family. And family doesn't leave each other. So, believe me when I say, I'm not leaving your side. You’re a sibling to me, I could never lose my love for you. No power in this universe, not even Calypso herself, could make me stop loving you, Cal. You mean too much to me for that to happen. So, please, believe me that I love you.”

   Cal broke their gaze, their voice cracked and raspy as they whispered, “...I do,” so quick Patton half-thought they hadn’t even said anything.

   Patton’s smile grew wider, now confident of how the little child’s story was going to end.

   A sharp, insistent knock interrupted the serene peace of the med bay. Cal jumped, eyes growing with fear. Patton gave their hand a quick pulse, reassuring them everything was alright.

   “My dear Cal, how are you feeling today?” came from the doorway. Cal shifted on the cot, pushing themself up to see Roman leaning against the doorway, one eyebrow cocked playfully. They shrugged.

   “No happy,” they mumbled, rubbing their eyes. They didn’t miss the concerned look Roman sent to Patton. “No sad. I don’t feel anything. I can’t feel anything.”

   “Patton, would you mind if I spoke with Cal privately for a few minutes?” Roman asked. The Drisine nodded, leaving the room with a quiet farewell to Cal. Roman took his friend’s place on the cot. “Sweet Calypso, I don’t really know where to start.” Cal titled their head.

   “Start with what?”

   “After… what happened back ho- on Vasryia… we’ve started something, Cal. All five of us. I don’t think we can end it without you. But we’re not going to do anything until you think you’re ready. And I want to help you. I’m just not exactly sure how to do that.” Roman sighed, looking up at the ceiling for inspiration. “Your first night after… all that, do you remember anything that you said? You were... beyond delirious, to say the least.”

   “N-no,” they whispered, shaking their head. “It’s all fuzzy.” Roman let out a breath, pressing his lips together.

   “Well, you said that, while you were in the dungeon, you had these… visions. We apparently told you we didn’t love you or need you, which couldn’t be further from the truth, in my opinion. Of any matter, according to Patton and Logan, you’re still suffering from… what was that word? Corgitive disproportions? Perhaps it was cognitive disproportions? Well, no matter, I'm fairly sure he can explain it better than me, anyways.” Roman tsked, faltering again. “I suppose… I suppose I'm trying to show you that I do love you, Cal. You're the leader I wish I could be. Y-you’re strong, and brave, and gentle, and quick-thinking, and everything I'm not. I really do care for you, Cal.” The prince fell silent.

   “And to prove it, there's something I think you should have seen a long time ago.” Roman tilted his head up at the ceiling once more as if asking the stars for guidance, and let out a heavy breath, his eyes falling shut. He grabbed the hem of his breeches’ right leg and pulled it past the knee, revealing the secret Roman had kept hidden for so long.

   Cal inhaled sharply as their eyes ran over the burn scars, taking in every detail. “What… Roman, what happened?” Roman let go of the hem, his breath uneven and shaking.

   “Draven happened.” Cal watched in shocked silence as he swallowed the growing lump in his throat. “He… burned my parents at the stake. I would have burned at his hands, too, if it weren’t for Patton.” Cal shuddered at the thought. “Both my physical and mental scars hurt. Yours likely do, as well. But when I think of you and the others, I know none of you leave me behind. It goes both ways, Cal. Whenever your scars hurt too much for you to walk, let us carry you. We’d never leave you behind.”

   Cal blinked back hot tears threatening to spill over their eyelashes. Again, they felt the haze in the back of their mind. No, no! They had to fight it. They had to fight it, for Roman. “You’re part of our family, Cal. Whether you like it or not, we’re here for you for the rest of your life. That’s a promise.” Cal nodded slowly, willing themself to believe Roman’s desperate words. “I’ll leave you to rest, now.” He stood up and headed for the door. Cal whimpered softly. They had to say something, let Roman know it was going to be alright.

   “For the record, Princey?” Roman stopped and looked over his shoulder. “I think you’re a great leader.” He smiled and bid them farewell, more hopeful than he had ever been those past weeks.

   Anxiety was the next to come to Cal. He found them in the Commons, curled up on the couch, eyes staring off into space. He saddled up next to them, sharing the silence, hoping they would be the one to break it.

   “Do you like stars?” Anxiety jumped, startling at the broken quietude. Cal was eyeing him. He could see a sharp, pointed look in their eyes, something he hadn’t seen in a while. They could see him relax. Roman had been right. Cal was going to be okay. “Do you like stars?” they repeated. Anxiety nodded, a soft smile coming to his face.

   “Stars are my favorite thing to look at,” he mumbled.

   “Besides Roman,” they quipped. Anxiety choked on his breath. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. You love him, don’t you?” He supposed honesty was something Cal needed most right now, and nodded.

   “Don’t get me wrong; it doesn’t change how much I love you, or Patton, or Logan, or anybody. I’ll still fight beside you to my last breath. I just… love Roman in a different way.” Cal’s lips quirked up bittersweetly.

   “I wish I had someone who loved me like that.”

   “Cal!” Anxiety spluttered. “We love you, don’t we? I know the love of a friend is much different than that of a lover, but trust me when I say that both are incredible and neither should be looked down upon or seen as better than the other. Yes, a lover is wonderful, and amazing, and exhilarating, and a slew of words that make no sense, but so is a friend. A friend is just as important, Cal. We’re definitely not lovers, but we are definitely friends. And you are just as important to me as Roman is.”

   They exhaled slowly, glancing away. “You know what I like about stars? They’re omnipresent. No matter where you are, the stars will still be there, recording your history when no-one else will. If I could ask a star a question, I’d ask them to tell me a story.”

   Anxiety joined in. “Even during the day, they’re still there. They’ve seen some terrible things, but they’ve probably also seen some pretty awe-inspiring stuff.”

   “Yeah.”

   Once more, they fell into a comfortable silence, enjoying the quietude of each other’s presence. “If it makes any difference, I think if the stars ever told your story, it would be the greatest epic ever told.” Cal snorted, shaking their head.

   “And what would the stars say about you?”

   “They’d tell the story of a earthen boy who thought he ran away from home, only to find his real home was among the stars, living in a spaceship with four aliens who became a family to him.” He stopped suddenly, biting his lip harshly. “And… they’d call him… Virgil.” Cal gasped, eyes widening.

   “Your name is… Virgil?” Anxiety- Virgil- flushed, ducking his head. “That’s a nice name. I would’ve pegged you for an Aarun, or maybe Ragaroth, but Virgil?” Virgil glanced at Cal, worried. “I like Virgil much better.” The human smirked. Cal's smile fell. “I know you guys love me, and I know you'd never leave me, but there's this little voice in the back of my head telling me one day you guys are just going to walk away…”

   “I know the feeling. There's nothing you can really do to make the voice go away, but with time, you'll learn to drown it out. And trust me, Cal, your voice is loud enough to drown it out.” Cal laughed against their will.

   Without warning, Cal enveloped Virgil in a hug, their hands shaking behind his back. “Thank you, Virgil. Thank you.” Virgil, though hesitant at first, felt the nerves ebb away, and wrapped his arms around Cal. They felt the haze, but they knew they could fight it. They could fight it, for Virgil.

   They were expecting Logan when he finally found a proper time to speak with them. Cal was perched upon a windowsill, gazing at the stars dancing across the heavens. He sat down on across from them on the sill, his eyes fluttering over the stars like a bird that couldn’t sit still. After the silence stretched on for too long and Logan began squirming on the windowsill, he abruptly turned to Cal. “You know what I’m going to talk about, correct?” Cal nodded halfheartedly, shrugging.

   He coughed, adjusting his always immaculate tunic. “Right. You are suffering from cognitive distortions- in this case filtering, where you only focus on the negative aspects of something, in this case yourself, while filtering out all of the positive aspects. Now, it seems the others have done fairly well in enlightening you of those positive aspects you are currently filtering out. So that is not my intention today.”

   The robot ran a hand through his hair. “I’m… not quite sure what my intention is. I… I only seek to show you your strengths.” He focused once more on the stars, faltering. “Forgive me, I’ve never really found myself at a loss for words…”

   “You don’t always need to express yourself through words, y’know… actions can speak just as loud,” Cal advised. Logan gave a pointed look to the pirate.

   “Then forgive me if I make you uncomfortable,” he said as he threw his arms around them. Though Cal couldn’t say they hadn’t been expecting it, it still made a soft smile come to their lips as they leaned into his side, taking comfort in the rhythmic pulse of his artificial heart. “My systems detect a lowered heart rate. Am I correct in assuming this is what’s called ‘comfort’?” Cal nodded as Logan let out a long sigh.

   “It’s been two weeks,” he started. “I’m not saying you should be fully recovered by now; that would be absurd, you’re the only one who can determine the pace at which you continue. However, I think it must be said that we have to finish what we started. Vasryia is still under Draven’s control- only the stars know how many people are at risk if we let things remain unchanged. We have to act, and soon.” Once more, Logan huffed, letting his head rest against the side of Cal’s, unsure if his words were having any affect.

   “We can’t do this without you. You have become a leader in the short time you’ve been with us. When I first met you, I would have written you off for a rowdy, insensitive adventurer who cared for alcohol, gold, and little else, but you… you are so much more than that, Cal. You are brave and caring and selfless and strong, and you’re our leader. We can’t do this without you, Cal. When you’re ready, we’ll be waiting for your calls.” Logan swallowed nervously and added quietly, “I know this shall seem out-of-character on my part, but… please. We need you, Cal. I need you.”

   He had yet to get a reaction from the pirate. The AI frowned, releasing Cal from his grasp. He stood up, brushing off nonexistent dust from his trousers, and headed back for the cockpit, his mood sinking.

   A laugh from behind him stopped him in his tracks. He whirled around to see Cal. Only… something was different in them. Maybe it was the way they were holding themself. Maybe it was the shit-eating grin on their face. His grey eyes met their multicolored ones and he saw what was so different about them. The spark of danger in their eyes, which had been absent since their kidnapping, was back. Cal noticed Logan’s speechlessness at the suddenness of it all.

   “I… don't know what came over me. It feels like I've… come awake. I’ve been asleep for too long. It’s about time that I wake up.” Logan couldn’t help but grin. Cal was back. Logan felt a rare, relieved laugh bubble out of him as he shook his head. Cal was really back. “Should we head to the cockpit?”

   Logan dipped his head in acquiescence, and they began to race each other. Normally Logan would never participate in such activities, but right now he was unable to fight those errors in his programming. And for the first time since his creation, he enjoyed those glitches.

   They practically burst into the cockpit, startling those inside. “Look who I found,” Logan breathed. Cal smirked, striking a small pose. It seemed all air had been sucked out of the room as Roman, Virgil, and Patton fell silent.

   “Well, don't all speak once,” they joked. They yelped as they were engulfed in a unexpected hug from their friends. Something warm and wet trickled down their cheek as they choked on a voiceless sob. Their breath cut off with the realization that they were crying. They cuddled against their friends as fat tears rolled down their face. Cal couldn’t explain it, this unforeseen overwhelm of emotion.

   “Dear Calypso, I’m so happy to see that you’re feeling better, Cal!” Patton cried, crushing them in a tight, unyielding hug. They took a shaky breath, wiping the happy tears away from their eyes as they let their gaze fall on each of their friends.

   “You all taught me that I have to rise above my pain. I have to move forward. I owe that much to you all for helping me through this, for helping me see the light.” The tears of relief and gratitude wouldn't stop, pouring out of their eyes as though somebody had forgotten to turn off the faucet. As much as they wanted to stay forever in this loving embrace, stay forever in this little bubble of comfort, they knew they had unfinished business. They pulled back, wiping away the tears.

   “Let’s have some fun, shall we?” They started for the center of the room, gearing up for the speech of the century. “We need to get to Vasryia as soon as possible. You’re right, Logan, countless scores of people may be at risk because of our- because of my inaction, and that will only grow the more time we waste. We’ll get into the palace, we’ll get Draven alone somehow, and we’ll… we’ll…” They trailed off as their voice grew more desperate. Logan stepped forward sympathetically.

   “With all due respect, Cal, I believe I might be best equipped with planning and strategy.” Cal flushed, nodding sheepishly.

   Logan took a breath, meeting each of his companion's eyes. “First, we'll land in Vasryia, as far away as possible to walk so we can increase our chances of remaining hidden. I suggest we wait until we know for certain that Draven is within the throne room. Once that is confirmed, we can, in the words of Roman, ‘storm the palace’ and disarm the guards. Draven will be taken hostage; we’ll hold a trial stating all of his crimes- Cal, before you even start, it is necessary that we keep our hands as clean as possible if we wish to rally support from the common folk. Once we get to that point, we can reconvene and discuss what actions to take next. But, as of now, I believe this is as far as we should plan.” The robot turned to Cal.

   “Would you like to add anything?” he asked. Cal blanched, their mind immediately forgetting what they wanted to say. They shook their head, cursing silently as their doubt welled up in their stomach as if their body was warning them they were making a bad decision.

   “That settles it, then,” Roman said with a curt nod.

   “I can’t believe we’re really going to do this,” Patton breathed.

   “I can’t believe we haven’t died yet,” Virgil joked, lightening the mood. Cal shot him a thankful smile.

   “Well, what are we waiting for?” they asked, taking a step towards the window, where the heavens lay bare before them, eternal, silent witnesses to the history they were about to write. “We’ve got an ass to kick.”

   They stepped onto the emerald blades of grass as wind whistled through their tousled hair. Cal took a deep breath, enjoying what they could before they crossed the boundary of no return. They turned back to their companions. “Let's get going.”

   Though they would've preferred to run under the cover of the night, they knew the clock had been ticking for a while. They had to do it now, or Draven would be able to claim victory. They couldn't let that happen.

   With little dialogue, they started for the palace gleaming in the distance. They took the time to glance about, feeling the bile rise in their throat as old memories starting popping up. They swallowed and marched on.

   It took them only a few minute’s walk to come within the outer limits of the Vasryian palace. Cal let their guard drop for a moment. No matter how many times they had seen the palace, it never failed to impress them, standing stark and proud silhouetted against a cool blue sky.

   “Roman, could you lead us to the outside of the throne room?” Logan inquired.

   “Of course, my dear friends,” Roman replied with a smirk and a wink. Quietly, they snuck into the gardens, Cal cursing a little less than quietly when they tripped into a thornbush as Patton scolded their language and Virgil snickered with mirth at their misfortune.

   It was funny, really, how domestic they were being, knowing full well they would either emerge victorious, or not emerge at all. Cal let their eyes fall on each one of their friends, admiring what they might never see again. They started with Logan. It didn’t take even a second for them to know they would miss his calming rationale and those little slips of character that reminded them that though he was a robot, he was just as alive as the rest of them. They moved onto Virgil. They would miss his sarcastic wit, for sure, and his always present smirk, as though everything was one big amusement to him.

   With Roman, they would miss his charm that they found oh-so-hilarious, and that gentle, serious side of him that he seemed loathe to show. If they got out of this shitshow alive, they would make a point to tell Roman it was okay to let his guard drop sometimes. None of them would judge him.

   And Patton. Calypso Above, they didn’t even know where to start. They would miss his smile, assuring them everything was going to be okay. They would miss his antlers that glowed blue and pink even in the dark. They would miss the way he found to make a joke out everything to help lighten the mood. They would miss his paternal mannerisms that made them feel safe. They would miss his hugs, which crushed them tight in his arms, never letting go until they could easily fall asleep in his arms. They would miss his cooking lessons, him telling them wild stories of past adventures, him staying up late at night to make sure they could go to sleep without any nightmares. A solitary tear trickled down their cheek as they inconspicuously shielded their face from prying eyes. Patton had been right. They had found their family.

   All at once, Roman held up a hand, halting their actions. They came to a standstill as Roman ushered them behind a cluster of large bushes, a trio of guards idly wandering down the garden path, chatting with one another.

   “I wonder when they’re going to fix the hole in the throne room?” one with rabbit’s ears was saying.

   “Oh, yeah! It’s way too breezy in there now. Honestly! You’d think the King would be able to contract a capable architect by now,” another with red feathers interwoven in their hair quipped.

   The third one, with a wolf’s tail peeking out from under their cloak, giggled softly. “Hush! If the King hears you, he’ll surely have your head!” The three burst out laughing as they walked away. Cal let out a breath they hadn’t realized they’d been holding in suspense.

   “Did you hear that?” Roman whispered excitedly. “That hole we blasted last time is still there! We can sneak into the throne room that way!”

   “I don’t know, Roman, it sounds like it might be a trap. Draven is a crafty little shit.” Virgil sighed, biting his lip nervously. Roman pressed a kiss to Virgil’s forehead.

  “I know, lavēhsea, but-”

   “Um, excuse me, when the fuck did you two get together?” Cal cut in. “I know we’re probably about to die, but I’m not dying without finding out the truth!” Virgil pursed his lips, gulping as he gestured for Roman to explain.

   “...well, the thing is… I, um… sort of maybe kissed Virgil while you were recovering in the med bay?” Roman replied, blushing furiously.

   “Finally…” Logan muttered.

   “Pardon me?”

   “Nothing,” Logan said quickly. “Thank you for informing me of Anxiety’s name.” Roman suddenly paled as Virgil’s eyes darkened. Virgil turned to Roman, who swore under his breath.

   “If we get out of this alive, Roman, there is going to be hell to pay.” Roman gulped, nodding intensely, as if his acceptance would lessen whatever punishment Virgil would dole out.

   “Right, kiddos!” Patton interjected, clapping his hands. “As much as I would love to talk with you guys all day and have fun and be a family, we have a king to overthrow, remember?” Roman nodded ever more intensely and Virgil scoffed, rolling eyes playfully.

   They continued their mission, creeping through the garden as they approached where the throne room was located. True to the gossip of the guards, the hole the Sanders Yersinia had blasted into the wall remained unrepaired, an easy entrance into the palace. Cal brushed off the tingle running down their spine. Everything would be fine.

   Cal stopped and turned back to their friends. “I’m just going to say this really quick because I don’t really want to think about this, but if any one of us dies, I just you all to know that I love you and you’re family. It has been an honor and a joy to have gotten to know you all.”

   “Oh, Cal, don’t say that!” Patton cried. “We’re going to be fine. We’ve got to be. None of us are going to die, I won’t let it happen!” He laughed weakly. Logan squeezed his shoulder in comfort.

   They turned over their shoulder, staring at the hole in the wall. It was almost certainly a trap. But they’d gotten out of traps before. They could do it this time, too. They just had to make sure everyone else got out with them. They faced their family once more, putting on a bright smile. “Are you all ready?” Logan nodded solemnly. Patton returned their smile with a quivering grin. Roman, clasping Virgil’s hand within his own, gestured for Cal to lead the way.

   They approached the hole with caution, wary that at any moment, guards would surround them and they wouldn’t even get to at least see Draven’s face. The hole was a good ten feet wide and nearly double as tall. Whoever had manned the blasters that day was a sloppy shot.

   Cal could hear distant chatter from inside and chanced a peek. They saw Draven, seated on top his throne at the end of the room, focused on a man kneeling in front of the chair of ill-begotten power, who seemed to be frantically pleading with the king. Draven motioned to one of the guards, who was unhesitant in manhandling the poor innocent out of the room.

   “Logan? What should we do?”

   “Well, it’s now or never. I never thought I’d be saying this unsarcastically, but let’s storm the palace.” Cal was unable to keep the grin off their face as they gave a two-fingered salute before slipping through the hole.

   They kept their back against the wall, hoping to buy enough time to actually formulate a plan of how to disarm the guards and take Draven hostage. They scooted closer to the corner, Patton and Logan following them; Roman and Virgil were on the opposite side of the hole. Roman began pantomiming wildly, pointing at himself and Virgil, and then pointing at Draven, thumping his wrists together like mock chains. Cal cocked an eyebrow but dipped their head in acquiescence, shrugging.

   Somehow, they managed to sneak up behind a guard. They took a deep breath. They wouldn’t be able to turn back now. Cal steeled themself. They were ready, they would accept any and all consequences for their actions. Without another moment to spare for doubt, they grabbed the guard from behind, clamping down a hand on his mouth as he let out a yelp. They pulled out the guard’s blade, throwing the guard against the wall and stabbing the sword through his uniform’s cape, pinning him there.

   The cry of the man had alerted his compatriots, who rushed at Cal. They heard a shout from across the way and cried out as they saw Roman and Virgil brought to their knees, struggling against their captors. Patton fell to the ground as Logan growled, taking out his own blade, baring it against the encroaching guards, little blue lights flickering in his grey eyes.

   The guards swarmed them all at once as they swung their arms, cringing each and every time their fists found contact. One guard grabbed their right arm as another took hold of their left leg. Cal struggled against their restrainers, grunting. They felt their lungs clench as their mind raced. This wasn’t how it was going to end. They wouldn’t go down without a fight.

   Cal let out a bone-chilling shriek as they ripped their arm from the hold of the guard, sending her tumbling to the ground with a cry. As soon as their arm was free, they grabbed the knife in their belt’s holster and gripped it tight, slashing at the guard holding their leg. The knife cut his clothes but did little physical damage.

   Adrenaline was coursing through their veins by now as their lungs overexerted themselves trying to catch a breath. They swung their knife at the guards closing in on them, forcing them away and hurried for Patton and Logan.

   “Are you guys okay?” they whispered as they helped Patton up from the ground. The Drisine nodded slowly, eyes darting around the room.

   “Cease!” The unanticipated voice that rang out from across the room shocked every being into stillness. Draven, in all his deceptive glory, lounged across the throne as though the short-lived fight had been merely entertainment to him. He let out a dark chuckle as dread swirled in Cal’s stomach. “Let them go.” Cal sent Logan a worried glance as the guards disgruntledly released Roman and Virgil from their grasp and stepped out of reach. Draven’s cool gaze snapped to them.

   “Do tell me why you’ve come, my darling Calrex,” he ordered, smirking as he clasped his hands together, expecting a great spectacle to be made.

    Draven stared them down from the throne, daring them to answer as Cal felt their fists clench. They could sprint to him, slit his neck within a second, and the whole thing would be over before the guards could react. But they had to stick to the plan if they didn’t want any of their friends getting hurt.

   “You’re going to pay for your crimes, Draven,” they stated fiercely, their voice carrying throughout the throne room. They could hear him scoff from where they stood.

   Rather than respond, they saw him reach into the depths of his cloak, pulling out a small glass vial full of churning gases. They inhaled sharply, recognizing it. Ragar. They opened their mouth to speak but found themself unable to breathe, unable to form words, unable to save their friends.

   Draven chucked the vial at them, the glass shattering on impact with the stones. The gases inside sprung free, filling the room as the king chuckled darkly, thinking of the devastation to come.

   They heard Patton gasp beside them. “This is- this is what was in the Treasury!” He glanced up at Cal, panic in his eyes. “Everybody, cover your noses! You can’t breathe this stuff!” he yelled. Virgil immediately threw a hand to his face, holding his breath. Cal copied his movements, plugging their nose as the gases swirled around their face.

   Coughing exploded from one side of the room and all eyes flickered towards Roman, who had been closest to the explosion. He fell to the ground, coughing, breathing heavily as he gasped for breath. Draven’s lips curled into a satisfied leer as he watched the chaos begin to unfold.

   “Roman?” Virgil asked quietly as the prince calmed, his movements stilling. Cal could see the human clutching his hands behind his back, wringing them anxiously. “Please tell me you’re alright…” Virgil cautiously approached Roman, his hands shaking as he held them out to the Vasryian.

   A dark laugh bubbled up from the prince’s throat. Virgil froze, the others watching in abject horror, terrified of what had befallen their beloved prince. Even the guards watched on in petrified silence. Roman gracefully pushed himself off the floor as the others flinched at what they saw.

   As he rose, the Vasryian’s flower crown, which Cal had many a time admired for its rich, whimsical hues, drained to black before their very eyes. His eyes darkened to the same color, devoid of all the adventure and kindness they were known for. Cal felt their blood freeze, daring to take a much needed breath as the gases in the air began dissipating.

   Draven surveyed the scene with little emotion, sparing a glance for the changed prince before ordering, “Dispose of them.”

   Cal held their breath, waiting to see what the Vasryian would do. Roman reached into the satchel hanging by his side and drew a stone, tossing the bag limply to the floor. Within the moment, the stone transformed into the mythical Halo Sword. Roman’s eyes of the beast fell upon Virgil, who hadn’t moved a single muscle.

   “You,” the marionette monarch said, jutting his chin towards the earthling.

   “Roman, you don’t want to do this,” the human warned, his hands falling to his sides. “This isn’t you.” The prince cocked an eyebrow, uninterested in pleas from the broken. “I know you’re somewhere in there, Roman. Please, fight against… whatever happened,” he pleaded. Cal heard his voice crack. “Roman, you’re family. And family means nobody gets left behind. So God damn it all, Roman, I'm not leaving you behind. Please. I love you. You promised you would always be there for me if I was ever scared. Well, guess what, Princey? I'm fucking terrified out of my mind right now. So come back to me or I'll tell everyone you're a prince who breaks his promises.”

   They heard him choke back a sob. “Please, Roman. Just come back to me.”

   For a moment, they could see Roman swimming in those eyes, reaching out to Virgil, begging him to save him. But just as quickly as it came, the moment was gone as the puppet prince steeled, raising his sword, the point just barely touching the pale skin of the earthling’s neck. “Sorry to disappoint, then.”

   Virgil fell to his knees as Cal felt the air rush out of them in shock. “Then kill me. Because if you haven't realized by now, I would give my life for you, Roman.” The daring human stood up and took a step forward, challenging his love. “If my death means your peace, your happiness... I'll gladly throw myself on the blade.” Virgil seemed deaf to the protests of his friends as he opened his arms, as if accepting the cruel fate that was to be handed to him. A faint aura of purple engulfed him as he bowed his head.

   A sudden, booming voice ripped itself from the earthling’s throat. “Let him go!” The command echoed through the room as Roman at once collapsed limp on the floor as though he had been cut free of some puppeteer’s strings controlling him from behind the scenes. Virgil gasped and rushed for his lover, cradling the unconscious prince.

   The gates of Chaos had opened, letting the Generals run wild. Cal shot forward, racing for the usurper of a king, drawing out a sharp blade reflecting the warped face of the ruler. The robot and the Drisine pulled out their weapons, turning to the guards, ready to resume the fight.

   Cal tackled Draven to the ground as he let out a yelp of surprise. They bared their fangs, growling as they pinned him against the ground, a wild craze growing in their eyes. “You’re going to pay, you fucking bitch!” they screamed as they drew their knife back, prepared to sink it deep into Draven’s flesh and finally end the cruel feud they had been locked in since the birth of the universe.

   Without warning, Draven kicked their stomach, throwing them off of him as they groaned. He grabbed the discarded blade, twisted it in his hand as he stood up, creeping towards the recovering pirate. He rose above them like a snake towering above its next meal as they pushed themself off the floor, wiping away a trail of blood from their lip as they snarled, ears deaf to the chaos breaking loose around them.

   He loomed over them with disdain, his head twitching to the side as he paused.

   Cal used the momentary hesitation to hurl themself at him, knocking the breath out of both of them as they collided. Something fell out of Draven’s cape.

   The odd, captivating stone Cal had seen in the Treasury tumbled to the ground as the fight raged on around them. They were drawn to it like Remy to alcohol and adventure as they rushed for the fallen stone, Draven mimicking their actions. They snatched it first, standing up triumphantly before a rush of air swept through the room, knocking down all but Cal, who blinked, and saw through the eyes of another being.

   They stood in a barren desert, harsh winds whipping around them. A gargantuan beast stood before them, towering above them as its ashen body swayed dangerously back and forth. The serpentine beast opened its smokey mouth, wails of the damned echoing from the depths of its inky throat. “Damned Blood of Calypso!” it screamed, its black eyes full of fury. It rushed at them, passing through them like a specter as their vision returned to reality. Draven lay on the floor as though dead, all others staring at them with wide-eyed wonder.

   “Dear Calypso,” Patton breathed, breaking the awed silence.

   “What? Am I bleeding?” Cal asked worriedly, examining their arms for wounds. They turned over their shoulder. “Holy shit!” They closed their eyes, opened them, and swore again, seeing bright, colorful wings spread out like the Guardian’s.

   Logan stepped forward, rubbing his eyes in disbelief, as did the guard he had just been fighting. “Cal, I can't explain what just happened, but it seems you've taken on the form of a-”

   “Stargazer,” they finished. “The Guardians of Calypso’s legacy... But those are myths! Children's stories! Not… not… this…” They scrutinized their new wings with something near disgust, as though they were unworthy of such mystical beauty.

   A growl sounded throughout the room, ending the second of amazement that had gripped every soul within the throne room. Draven was pushing himself off the ground, his movements jerky and dead-like.

   “You meddling pirate!” he snarled, his voice deep and jutting, like a glitching hologram seven years too old. His head twitched again like the undead as the adrenaline began pumping through Cal’s veins, prophetic of the chaos inexorably approaching. Virgil, sensing the same storm on the horizon, began dragging Roman to safety away from the king.

   The awakening prince groaned as he blinked hard, eyes fluttering open. “What in the name of Calypso is going on?” he mumbled drowsily. Virgil pointed grimly at Draven.

   “I’m pretty sure we’re all about to die.”

   As the Machiavellian monarch opened his mouth, black smoke began spilling out, engulfing Draven as a low scream echoed through the throne room. Cal covered their ears as they winced at the noise, stepping away from the king. The sable-colored fumes dispersed around the room, filling it. Cal began coughing, shielding their eyes from the toxic gases.

   The smoke disappeared as soon as it had appeared, revealing Draven in all his insipid glory. But what they saw was not Draven.

   Instead of the deceitful king, a monstrous beast stood in his place, taking the form of a serpent. Cal thought back to that day in the orphanage, of Cato transforming into the same such creature and sliding towards them, swaying. The serpent before them now was a carbon copy, approaching them with glittering black eyes.

   “Guys, I think now would be a good time to run!” they shouted. They turned on their heel, wasting no time in grabbing the arm of the person closest to them, who happened to be a guard, and racing for the gaping hole in the wall. They clambered outside, trying their best to not trip over their feet.

   They let themself slow to a stop as soon as they were several feet away from the palace walls. They bent over themself, panting heavily, wincing as another low shriek was emitted from within.

   Cal looked up, relieved to find their friends had all escaped the throne room as well. It seemed the guards who had left with them had abandoned their plight, letting their weapons drop to the ground. All attention was turned to the palace.

   An ominous rumble rang out, bringing with it a hallmark of doom. Cal gulped, their new wings beating nervously. The serpent slithered out of the palace wall, creeping towards them and their friends.

   “Descendant of the Heavens, you shall either perish or emerge victorious today. And I shall make sure only the stars can recount what happens!” echoed across the rolling hills of the Vasryian landscape.

   The serpent seemed in grow, grow, grow, until it could taste the heavens with its forked tongue. Cal thought back to their childhood and the myths they had muttered throughout it. At long last, they finally saw the truth and understood.

   The myth of Calypso was repeating.

(don’t you just love it when the author doesn’t post anything and then BLAM hits you with some gold ole’ shitshow that makes no sense?)

The end is nigh! Only two more chapters until Starbound will finally come to a close! (I can’t believe I’ve written this much.) I’ll be honest, this was a very hard chapter to write. I have no idea why, it just took a long time to plan out and write. Thank you all for being so patient!

Tag List:

@asofterfan

@alix-the-skeleton

@hufflepuffsscrewdriver

@v-blue-writer

@sanderssidesstuff

#Sanders Sides #Sanders Sides AU #my au #sci-fi au #holy crap this took so long to write #I hope it was worth the wait! #Virgil Sanders #Roman Sanders #Logan Sanders #Patton Sanders #Deceit Sanders #Draven #Calrex the Pirate #Starbound #writing #fanfic #ts virgil #ts roman #ts patton #ts logan #ts deceit #TW: language #tw: violence #tw: mild language

[xuhoon]

how you met: Soonyoung

hi guys! this is the first thing im posting~ its a bullet point how-you-met-soonyoung drabble. im thinking of making this a series so let me know what you think! <3

fluff, 1825 words

Soonyoung Flower Shop au

How you met Soonyoung, the cheery chipper cutie working in the local floral shop/part café

Soonyoung tends to the flowers and helps create bouquets for order

The café has a few waiters and baristas but it’s a small add-on, mostly for a coffee and a sweet

Waiters: Wonwoo, Joshua, Jun

Baristas: Jeonghan, Seungkwan

Latte Artists: Minghao, Mingyu

Florists: Soonyoung, Seokmin

Cashiers: Hansol at florist, Chan at café

Managers: Seungcheol at café, Jihoon at florist

Sometimes students would come and enjoy the cute atmosphere but it was the types to be alone because it was a small space and a bunch of friends would tip the balance.

Wonwoo was your regular waiter, Minghao was your regular maker of cute latte art

One day you came in when Soonyoung was redoing the tiny floral centerpieces for the tables and he was so friendly it caught you off guard

He asked how you felt about the new arrangement of a peony, a white rose, and some baby’s breath

“They’re pretty bridal, aren’t they?”

“Oh, you’re right. Well, that’s what spring flowers are mostly used for!”

“Maybe add some colored roses?”

“A special pop of color different at each table! I like it!”

Wonwoo interrupted to take your order, which you found gracious and Soonyoung found annoying, but Wonwoo just smiled and stuck his tongue at the flower boy

“So, y/n, what would you like today? Minghao is out with bad allergies, he kept sneezing off the foam art yesterday. Of course, we couldn’t sell those so Mingyu took over per the boss’s orders. I understand if you want to try another drink while your artist is recovering.” Common banter like this was a fun gag you two have.

“That’s okay, tell Mingyu to surprise me. He can come say hi when he has his break.”

“Any sweets today?”

“Maybe later, that’s all for now.”

“One latte with surprise art, coming up!”

Mingyu was really sweet, but wasn’t great at coming up with his own ideas

Minghao liked to do all sorts of stuff, mostly using you for practice but you never minded because everything he did was fantastic

So Mingyu decided to pull Soonyoung to the side and ask if he could have one of the table displays to copy

Ugh you thought that was the sweetest thing ever because he saw you talking to Soonyoung and thought, why not make the flower display you helped with?

But really

Mingyu was like: “Soonie, isn’t that the regular you like?”

“Aha shit what how did you know?”

“I clearly remember you asking Wonwoo to slip in ‘Hey y/n, what’s your favorite flower?’”

“ahaha what, I didn’t”

“You did, I clearly remember telling you peony,” “Wonwoo when did you get there?!”

“And what’s in the display’s this week?” “Seungkwan go back to making Americanos”

Seungkwan’s famous “hmph”

Hansol staring across the flower shop and laughing at Seungkwan even though no one knew he was watching whoops verkwan is pining

“That is not why I included peonies!” “Dude, I’m already done with the design. Wonwoo, will you take this to Soonie’s crush?”

“I don’t! She isn’t my, I don’t like her!”

everyone standing within 5 ft of them “suuuure”

so Wonwoo gives you your drink and says it was inspired by your contribution to the displays, but also mentions that Soonyoung has been eyeing you ever since he saw you walk in for the first time and complimented him and Seokmin for their showcases

“w-what?”

“Why’d you think he was changing the flowers at that time when he usually does it earlier in the day?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

basically, both of you are denying anything and it makes great entertainment for the staff

Minghao comes back the next day, having taken lots of allergy meds so he doesn’t mess up

You and he are pretty close friends so you go and sit by the counter so you can talk to him, and you tell him everything that happened when he was gone

“oh, I do love the new floral designs for the tables”

“that isn’t the point of the story, Hao!”

“I know but I love to tease you. So, are you gonna ask him out?”

“Me? What? How dare—I don’t like him. The audacity!”

“You like him”

so, the moment you really realize you like him is quite the moment

Seokmin and Soonyoung were getting a bouquet ready for a client and they started acting like grandpa and grandma

You were told that this was quite a normal occurrence when they were fulfilling orders

At first, you laughed at the two silly boys, but then you could stop staring at the indigo-haired grandma

“oh no… WONWOO!”

“ok so this is the moment when you realize you like him? When he’s acting like a grandma with Seokmin? y/n…”

“I don’t need your shit, woo, I’ll go tell Minghao”

Wonwoo and Minghao are laughing up a storm which attracts the two florists’ attention

“Soonyoung, can you come here for a second?” you’re too busy blushing like crazy to know who called him over

“Uh, yeah. One second!” he bolted over with his bright smile and hair pushed back in a snapback oh god that look, you thought you were drooling (you were)

this all happened so fast you didn’t notice that Wonwoo dyed his hair darker until Soonyoung pointed it out

another sign you were only paying attention to “Soonie”

you were so embarrassed because Minghao and Wonwoo sold you out, so you ran out of the café

Soonyoung thought of running after you, but instead he made you a bouquet of flowers to cheer you back up, but also to ask you out with his sweet honey voice

When you came back the next day, you bundled up and got your latte to-go with no art

You walked up to the cashier, Chan, who was excited to see you

“y/n!”

“SHHHHH”

“what’s wrong?”

“I can’t be seen but I need my coffee”

“Oh, well, okay. If this has anything to do with yesterday I’ll keep you a secret”

“thanks. Just tell Seungkwan to make me a latte with no art.”

When Seungkwan calls for a latte, you go to the pick-up counter and swipe the latte off the counter and rush out

“Chan, was that y/n?”

“She asked me not to tell you, but here I am telling you.” 

“It’s unlike her to get anything to go.” 

“after yesterday?”

“shit you right” 

Soonyoung was disappointed that he didn’t see you, but he and Seokmin continued to work anyways. The bouquet for you was waiting in the back.

The day went on like normal, but Soonyoung wasn’t his chipper self. You usually spend hours in the café, so most of the staff missed you too. Instead of being at the café, you were just in your dorm unsure of what to do.

After Hao’s shift, he came to visit you to tell you that the café felt really empty.

“I know that wasn’t cool of Wonwoo and I, but you both like each other! I know you’d never make the first move.”

“I’m a wuss, Minghao, I could never!”

“Well, Soonyoung needed to know you liked him too so he is able to.”

“…what are you planning?”

“Me? Nothing. Soonyoung? I don’t know but it’s something.”

So Minghao leaves because you’re freaking out, knowing that something is going to happen, you just don’t know what

After another day of sulking in your room with your heart pounding out of your chest, Wonwoo texts you that it’s a slow day and that you should come back to familiar scenery

You thought, shit

But really, Wonwoo just wanted you back in the shop and it had nothing to do with Soonyoung preparing to ask you out the next time he saw you

Spoiler he does

You get ready to leave the dorm and realize you dressed up a bit more than normal. Yes, you’re whipped. But so is he so it’s okay.

It’s time to face that bubbly boy that makes your heart explode!

You walk in to the café and take a seat, all too quietly. Wonwoo basically yells out “Y/n!” and you’re blushing like crazy because all the staff turned around to see you

Soonyoung was like “SHE’S HERE?” and everyone’s laughing because they knew what he was gonna do (drop the flowers)

Jk he doesn’t drop them, he accidentally knocks over the vase holding your bouquet, which sucks because he was planning to keep them back there so you could take them healthy. Don’t worry, he took the flowers out before it fell. But Jihoon is angry because he broke a vase.

So Soonyoung is blushing like crazy in the back room while Seokmin is trying to shove him out, all while Jihoon has to clean up the mess per usual

Seokmin finally succeeds and Soonyoung is pushed into the middle of the café with his hands full of flowers (im so soft oh my god)

You’re blushing so you try to hide it by drinking your (very hot) coffee and you burn your tongue, causing you to flinch a bit

Soonyoung notices and rushes to make sure you’re okay because he’s a caring baby

He basically drops the bouquet on the table to check if you’re okay and lifts your chin up to look into your eyes, which makes you blush

Soonyoung is brought back to reality and carefully picks up the bouquet

He hands it to you while nervously giggling, hoping that you like them

You love them, taking the bouquet in your hands as your eyes sparkle at his.

“I’m sorry about my embarrassing friends, but at least they helped us confess, right?”

“Yeah, I guess so…” you’re trying to hide the blush but it’s not working

“With that out of the way, would you like to go out with me? I’d love to know you better.”

Your face is filled with the brightest smile as you graciously accept his offer, and he pulls you into a warm hug. You felt like melting, the hug was so warm and comfortable.

Before you could talk any longer, Jihoon was yelling from the floral department, “SOONYOUNG ITS TIME TO GET BACK TO WORK!”

He quickly sat you back down, apologized for the “little man who’s always angry,” and gave you a quick peck on the forehead

“Wait, Soonyoung! When do you get off your shift?”

“6 tonight, how about dinner?”

“Sounds like a date.” You finished up, smiling, and headed back to your dorm. You placed the flowers in a long vase on your desk, admiring how he arranged the bouquet. There’s a little card stuck in the middle of the bouquet that read: MY NAME’S SOONYOUNG, CALL ME SOON ~ ★

You laugh, knowing you’d see him tonight anyway.

#svteennet #seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen writing #hoshi #seventeen hoshi #seventeen svt #seventeen fluff #hoshi scenarios #hoshi fluff #kwon Soonyoung #soonyoung

[gondalsqueen]

OKAY, SO MOST OF YOU GUYS HAVE SEEN THIS ON A03 ALREADY, BUT FOR THOSE WHO ONLY TUMBLE: 

Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: Star Wars: Rebels Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla Characters: Hera Syndulla, Kanan Jarrus, Ezra Bridger, Sabine Wren, Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, C1-10P | Chopper, Ryder Azadi, Mart Mattin Additional Tags: Fix-It, Jedi Night, Nobody Dies, Team as Family, Pregnancy, i have now spoiled the whole thing in tags, non-graphic description of past torture, you know--canon compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, non-consensual drugging, you wanted to see kanan take care of hera post-torture right?, come on we all did, more hurt/comfort, very little other than hurt/comfort, allusions to oc death, Discussion of Abortion, but you can probably figure out what they decide on that one Summary:

He was holding back the explosion. He turned to face her, hand outstretched—he STOPPED her, she hated the feeling of that formless grip on her body—damn him, he lifted her right into the air, DAMN him, he was going to get himself killed, he’d been PLANNING it. But then what happened?A fix-it fic for "Jedi Night."

 NOTES ARE VERY IMPORTANT FOR THIS CHAPTER:  I just want to make it very clear that this is not high art. It is take-no-prisoners, kill-no-darlings, self-indulgent hurt/comfort of the most unrestrained variety. And right now Hera's getting comforted. Because she is my darling. To be clear.  ...

They hadn’t been on the ground for one minute before Chopper careened across the field towards them like the murder droid he was.  By the time he got to Hera she was waiting on one knee. He bumped her hard enough to knock her onto her rear because, well, Chopper. She really loved that droid. 

He was babbling about her idiocy, as usual—didn’t she know that organics couldn’t be taken apart and put back together the same way droids could? “Hey,” she told him sternly. And then: “I missed you, too.” She rose on her heels again and put her forehead against his dome. “You did great, Chop. Thank you so much.” 

Of course he’d done great. GeneralHeraSyndulla was the idiot. “Yeah, yeah,” she said. Then she looked up. And up.  The new rebel base stood at the top of a mountain. Hera was torn between two thoughts: Wow, that’s impressive, and Great, now I have to climb up this thing. Sabine and Zeb were already on the first stone outcropping, waiting for them. She took a deep breath and searched for a little more energy. “How did you find this place?” 

“It’s...a long story,” Ezra said. 

“And you wouldn’t believe us if we told you,” Sabine put in. 

Zeb muttered, “I still don’t believe it.” Chopper jetted ahead to announce their presence, although the gunship’s approach couldn’t have been missed. Kanan took her hand, but he was exhausted, too, and the grip was more for moral support than anything. Halfway up he tripped over a stone and Hera paused. “Hey,” she said quietly, “Are you okay?” 

He nodded and squeezed her hand.  

“Are you burned?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.” She touched his cheek carefully and his eyebrows twitched in pain. 

“Hmm.” 

“Just a little raw and tired. Come on, we can make it.” 

All right, she’d let it go. For now.

“We don’t have much,” Ezra said when they caught up. “Just a radio and a few weapons and supplies we gathered from caches.”  

“We’ve done okay so far,” Hera told him with a smile. 

Then they reached the top of the outcropping and...he wasn’t kidding. They really didn’t have much.

Mart gave a little whoop of triumph as they climbed onto the ledge, and Ryder Azadi said, “General Syndulla, thank the Force you’re back.” When she raised her eyebrows at the title, Mart shrugged awkwardly: “I told them about the promotion.” 

“Congratulations, General.” Zeb grinned at her. 

Sabine was wrinkling her nose in Ezra’s general direction. “You reek. Go take a bath and wash the fuel off.” 

“That’s my cue, too,” Kanan said. “We’ll hit the pools and be right back.” 

“We have pools?” Hera had the feeling she was going to like this place.  

“Yeah, and wait until you see the murals!” Sabine would be more excited about murals than pools. 

“How did you guys find this place?” Hera asked again, and Zeb responded again, “You wouldn’t believe us—” 

“—If you told me. Try me.” 

“Some wolves led us here.” “Wolves?” 

“Yep. Through a cave. Or...something. I don’t know. There were lots of stars.” 

“In a cave.” 

“I don’t know!” Zeb threw up his hands in surrender. 

“Well…” she considered. “The Empire won’t think to look for us all the way out here, at least. Let’s get to work.” 

“We’ve still got to find a way to shut that factory down,” Azadi said. “Looks like we’re doing it from the ground, now.” 

Hera winced. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Nobody blames you!” Sabine told her. 

“Still, this is going to be...harder.” Impossible? She’d flown the best battle of her life; their assault had been impossible even from the air. Usually when they had to punch above their weight they ran some scheme, but that hadn’t worked well for them lately. They had to get Thrawn off-planet, somehow, if they were to stand a chance. 

“We could infiltrate,” Mart offered. 

“What, through the vents, like Ezra?” Sabine rolled her eyes. 

“No. Just...somehow. I’m working on it.” 

Zeb glowered, arms crossed, his thinking pose. “We need help.” 

“More explosives.” 

But Hera shook her head. “We’re not going to get more help from the Alliance. Even convincing them to send two squadrons was like squeezing blood from a stone.” 

“So? We have friends, don’t we? We’re popular.” 

“If we come up with a plan, maybe.” Hera was skeptical. “But we need a plan first.” 

“I’ll call up the schematic.” Ryder fiddled with the portable holoprojector they’d rigged on a table-sized rock, and everyone gathered around. “Same problems as before,” he said while the decrepit projector loaded, “nearly impenetrable except from overhead, and even then we have to get through the shield. We have no assault vehicles and no ships. Well, one gunship now.  Four speeders.” The display sputtered to life and died again. He flicked the projector carefully with one finger and the schematics appeared, bright colors and lights. 

All right, they needed some kind of opening, any weakness at all. Hera squinted at the plans, eyes watering. Concentrate, she told herself. Take this next step, get the job done. But exhaustion poured over her all at once, sapping every bit of focus she had left. She sat down abruptly on whatever was behind her—which happened to be Chopper. “Sorry, Chop.” She didn’t get up, though. 

“Whoa, whoa—” Sabine caught one arm, and Chopper twittered nervously, holding very still. Zeb jumped to her other side, putting his hand on her back, but she wasn’t passing out, only sitting down. 

“Ryder,” Sabine said, “I think this  meeting should wait.” 

Zeb backed her up. “Yeah. We’ve done enough for today.” 

“I agree.” He touched the holoprojector and mercifully, the lights went off. 

And somehow Kanan was back from bathing already, or he’d rushed out without drying, dripping onto a clean set of clothes. “What’s going on?” he asked. “You okay?” 

“Yeah.” Hera nodded, and the throbbing headache settled in with the second nod. “I think I was high until just now.” 

“I could have told you that. You crashing off of the drugs?” 

“Let’s just say this landing is particularly exciting,” she said dryly. 

“Drugs?” Sabine frowned. “What do you mean drugs?” 

“Interrogation droid,” Kanan supplied. 

“Hera, were you tortured?” She tried to nod, remembered her head, and stopped. “It’s not so bad, though. I just need to rest.” 

“Uh huh,” Kanan said.“Let’s get you somewhere more comfortable and take a look at you.” He slipped his shoulder under her arm and walked her towards one of the caverns just as Ezra came running with a medical kit. They all accompanied her to the cavern, which was frankly embarrassing. She wasn’t hurt, just tired. Kanan settled her onto a cot in the mercifully dark room as Ezra cracked open the med kit. “All right,” he said. “You want to give me a run-down of the injuries?” 

“I think I just need to sleep.” 

“You can sleep. We just need to check on you first.” 

“Mmm,” Hera mused. “It’s mostly the injection and some electrical burns. I don’t know what kind of damage that did to my system, though. It felt...bad,” she admitted. Okay, Hera, that was less than descriptive.  

“They electrocuted you?!” Sabine asked. 

“Yeah,” Kanan said in sympathy. “I know that feeling. We need to look at the damage, okay?” 

“Okay. I have to—” she gestured to her waist. There was no way to see the burns on her chest without taking off the whole top half of the prisoner’s uniform. 

“You have to what?” 

“Take her shirt off,” Sabine supplied. 

“We can leave,” Zeb said. “You settled in?” 

“Mm hmm. Well taken care of. Thanks, Zeb.” She restrained the urge to tell them they were overreacting. She’d scared them with the crash and scared them getting captured, and she suspected they were working through it by fussing over her more than was strictly necessary. Best to let them.

“Hold on a minute.” Ezra had opened the med kit on the ground. “Okay, Kanan, I have bandages and bacta on the top. And… here’s some antiseptic, too. Anything else you need?”

“No, that sounds great.” 

“The kit is right here by your feet, so don’t kick any dust on it.” 

“Actually… are you okay with me staying, Hera?” Sabine asked. “Somebody who can see should probably check you out.” 

“That’s fine,” she said, eyes closed. 

Chopper insisted that he was staying, too. 

“Of course,” Hera said, reaching for his dome. Such a good droid; he’d done everything just right over the past few days. 

Ezra squeezed her arm on the way out, and Zeb gave her a careful little kiss on the temple and said, “It’s good to have you back.” Hera found herself grinning through the headache. 

“Chop, you have a light?” Sabine asked. “I can’t see anything in here.”  

“Neither can I.” 

“Kanan, how many times do I have to tell you? Those jokes are old.” 

Chopper turned his projector port towards Hera. Harsh light hit her face. 

“And they weren’t that funny to start with.” 

“Wrong,” he said. “They will always be funny.” 

Hera tried to laugh and winced, instead. “All right, comedy hour’s over.” Kanan rubbed her back in empathy. “Let’s get a look at these burns.” 

She sat up and they helped her ease the shirt over her lekku and then drape it in front of her. 

“Careful,” Kanan said as Sabine tugged. 

“Guys, I am OKAY. I flew that glider. I climbed the ladder on my own. I’m just crashing because I’ve been hopped up on truth serum for the past few hours. I am fine.” 

“You’re burned,” Sabine said. 

“A little.” 

“Hmm…” A long pause while Sabine turned her towards the light and examined. “Yep. They seem pretty localized. Not too bad. We’ll need to clean them and put some bacta on them, though.”

Hera kept her eyes closed under the glare as the throbbing shifted to one side of her head. “I know.”

“You want some pain medicine first?” Kanan asked. 

“I don’t even know what I’m allowed to take.” “We can figure that out.”

Sabine was, in fact, already tapping on her wrist comm. Hera tried to do the same— “pain medication in early pregnancy—” before she remembered that she wasn’t wearing a comm.  Chopper beat them to it; she was good for everything except Symoxin.

“Okay, pass me some Comaren.” 

“Wait a minute, how does he know what search to run?” Sabine demanded. 

“Uhm…” Hera tried to sound cool instead of sheepish. “Chopper may have known for about...three standard weeks?” Fail. 

“Thanks,” Kanan said dryly. 

“I’m sorry, love.” 

Sabine got her three pills instead of the usual two, and she dry swallowed them

“Let’s see what else is going on while those kick in,” Kanan suggested. 

“Yeah, it would be nice to finish and get some clothes.” 

“This is a bruise?” Sabine asked, touching her side lightly. 

“From the glider crash.” She slipped her pants down to see how far it went. Hmm. She’d taken most of the impact on her thigh, which was probably for the best. 

“Okay, we can fix that,” Kanan said. 

“Hera, will you drop the shirt just for a second?” Sabine asked. 

“Why?” 

“Please?” She dropped it to her lap obligingly and held out her arms.“Okay, good. Just checking.” 

“For what?” Hera pulled her shirt back over her chest. 

“Bite marks,” Sabine admitted nervously. “Fingermark bruises.” 

Kanan searched for her hand and wrapped it in his. 

“Oh! No. No, don’t worry, it wasn’t like that. Pryce got a little overzealous with the electrocution, and then there was the interrogation droid at the end, but you guys got there before I could even say anything. Before that, they spent… I don’t know how long actually healing me. How long has it been?” 

“A day and a half,” Kanan told her. 

“Wow. Yeah, I spent most of that time unconscious.” 

“Healing you from what?” 

“Head and arm from the crash,” she enumerated. “Maybe some ribs? And then ramming the speeder into an AT-AT, but I don’t think that did much damage. And an ongoing fight with that bounty hunter.” That had been the worst part, running through the city streets knowing he was tracking her from above, the sudden drop in front of her, fighting, then running again. Nightmares were made out of that kind of stuff and if she’d taken serious injuries, it had been then. 

“Chopper told us about that,” Kanan said. 

Chopper filled in—he’d told them how she’d stomped that creep. 

Hera laughed and winced again. “I think the stomping was mutual. He’s...really good. Better than me. Kanan, I’m sorry for every sparring session I’ve ever complained about.” 

“Told you it would save your life.” He probed gently at her head, her face, her shoulder. “Nothing hurts?” 

“Nothing hurts,” she confirmed. “Can I put on a shirt now?” 

“Just a minute.” 

If you had to have someone apply bacta ointment to burns, Sabine, with that artist’s touch, was the way to go. It still hurt, but not as much as Hera had expected. Chopper fetched something from across the room—her pilot’s suit, where had they gotten it?—and they helped her into the shirt and pants before she laid down again. The headache was gone, leaving the sense that her body had been drained of all energy, but that wasn’t the same as pain. 

“You going to sleep?” Sabine asked. 

“I’m already asleep,” Hera told her without opening her eyes. 

“Okay, I’m going to take off.” Chop blatted a question. 

“Yeah, Chopper, go recharge,” Hera told him. “Kanan’s going to stay with me.” She smiled to herself, sparing a lazy glance at him.  

Under the glare of Chopper’s lamp, Kanan’s lips twitched into that old, affectionate expression. “Of course I am.” 

“He’s going to put some bacta on his face, too.” 

“It’s really not bad.” 

“I plan to listen to your protests about as much as you listened to mine.” 

“You want me to get it?” Sabine asked. 

“No, I’ve got it.” Hera tugged him closer so she didn’t have to sit up and Kanan handed her the bacta tube and knelt obligingly in front of her. Sabine and Chopper crept out while Hera daubed it on his face and spread it as gently as she could. He didn’t move a muscle, which meant that she was hurting him while he tried not to show it. 

“What else? Your hand?” 

“Just a little.” 

She hauled herself into a sitting position and took his hands in hers. “Kanan, this one’s swollen and stiff with burns. That has to hurt.” 

“It looks worse than it feels.” 

She rubbed bacta on it as gingerly as she could. “How would you know? And why didn’t you say something?” 

“I wasn’t the one who had been tortured.” 

“Well, now that we’ve thoroughly established that I’m FINE, you’re taking some Comaren, too.” She leaned over the med kit and squinted at the labels in the gloom. “Here.” 

Kanan swallowed the medicine dutifully, then pulled a cot from across the room next to hers and laid down behind her while she curled on her side. Instead of wrapping his arm around her, though, he put a careful hand on her back. His burned hand. “You sleep, too,” she told him. 

“In a minute. I think I can check for any damage from the electrocution.” 

Oh, he meant using the Force. Already she felt the warm, comfortable feeling where his hand rested on her back. She hoped he used it to look after himself, as well. “What’s the verdict?” she murmured. 

“You’ve got some...shockiness here.”

Hera laughed tiredly. Shockiness from shocks, of course she did. 

“Really.” She could hear the smile in Kanan’s voice. “I don’t think there’s any damage to your heart. Your nervous system’s a little fried, though. I think I can help with that.” 

“It’ll wait. Do your hand first.” 

“Hera,” he said quietly. “You’re not fine. Trust me? Tell me this time?” 

She considered her words carefully. “I don’t think you understand how incredibly grateful I am right now.” 

He waited. Go on, that silence said. 

“I was...hurt. REALLY hurt, and Thrawn made their medical team put me back together again before they tortured me. I was in pain. And I was...afraid. So afraid that I would reveal the base’s location—” 

—she had a paranoid moment where she wondered if this was some delusion, a trick of the drugs to make her think she was safe, to make her say “Yavin IV.” Yeah, maybe she was a little more thrown that she’d thought— 

“—But really I’m okay. I knew you were coming.” 

“I’m here,” he confirmed. 

“And then I thought you were going to die,” she continued. “I really did, this time. I am so mad at you right now...” There was no sting in her words, though, only the weepiness of a close call. 

“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m not dead. It’s okay.” His hand stayed warm against her back, radiating comfort and easing tired muscles. She could have been conscious or barely asleep, dreaming his next words. “I was supposed to die.” They came to her as a whisper. “The Force showed me that path. Either I died or we all died, and it was going to be okay, Hera. I don’t know what happens now.” 

“I do,” she thought she muttered. “Next time it tries to take you, the Force can go through me first.” 

She drifted off quickly, Kanan’s hand still on her back, into a sleep with no pain and no more dreams. 

#kanera #hera syndulla #kanan jarrus #jedi night #swr spoilers #fix it fic #hurt/comfort #SHAMELESS hurt/comfort

[fluffyllamas-23]

If there’s an OC’s anonymous, I think I should join bc I have no self control and made some new ones (honestly, I blame @emeraldthread for enabling me XD)

But they also helped me out a ton, so shoutout to them.  Fic is below the cut, I hope you enjoy :)

(there’s some nausea and vomit mention, just a warning)

Life doesn’t often work out the way we envision it as a child.

When Sean was a child, for example, he had dreams and a plan, neither of which had panned out. He’s twenty seven, and had thought that his music career would have taken off by now. He thought that he would have been living in a house at this point, and not in a crappy, one bedroom apartment with a heater that only works half the time if he’s lucky.

He never thought he’d be stuck working shitty shifts at the front desk in a hotel.

His schedule is awful, with rotating shifts of two pm to ten pm, ten pm to six am and six am to two pm.

Last night was his two to ten, which means that today is his six to two pm shift.  Of course, it sucks, but it wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t wake up with a monster of a head cold.

Sean groans as he rolls over in bed. His body is screaming at him to call into work and go back to sleep, and with each stab of pain in his head he’s more and more convinced that he needs to. Except, it’s two in the morning, and he’s too tired to move.  His phone is too far away, and he feels too heavy to roll over and grab it.  

He sniffles, his sinuses feeling like they’ve been filled with cement, and his whole face feels heavy.

Pepper, his twelve week grey and white husky puppy, whines at the first sneeze, pressing her nose into his hand.  He pats her head as a second, third and fourth sneeze rip out of his throat, and then he lets out a miserable, scratchy groan. He’s starting to feel a little dizzy - a little fuzzy around the edges.  Pepper whines louder, standing up to lick his face before she starts trying to nudge him out of bed.

“Pep,” he croaks, pushing her away weakly, “stop.”

“Pepper,” he grimaces, drawing her name out when she barks and exacerbates his headache.  Pepper whines again, and plops down next to him, putting her head on his chest.  

As it gets later and later, and each sneeze makes him stuffier and stuffier, he becomes more and more aware that he really needs to call into work.  By the time he finally manages to grab his phone, it’s five fifteen, forty five minutes before his shift, and way too late to call out.  

He’s suddenly overwhelmed by how much he needs to do to get ready - he still needs to feed Pepper, get dressed, eat breakfast (although, the thought of eating anything makes him nauseous, so he figures he’ll skip that part).  It’s only two things (three if he decides to choke down a granola bar), and not a terribly long to-do list, but he’s already exhausted.  He’s been up for three hours at this point, has been sneezing almost the entire time, and he just wants to sleep. Pepper hasn’t moved from her spot next to him, opting instead to lay protectively over his chest.  

“Alright, girl,” he sniffles, his voice miserably congested. “Time to get up…you need to get off of me.”

He manages to drug himself with enough medicine that his symptoms (i.e sneezing) stay mostly at bay but not enough that he’ll fall asleep. He wants to, because he’s a little fuzzy headed, but daytime cold medicine always make it impossible for him to sleep, which, in this case, is very helpful.  

He sniffles, rubbing at his eyes as he’s hit with an overwhelming urge to lie on the floor. Unfortunately, his boss is a dick and even though he knows how miserable Sean is, if he’s not running a fever, he refuses to send him home.  

Sean twists to the side, sneezing for what feels like the thousandth time that morning. He fumbles with the tissues in his pocket, brings a crumpled one up to wipe at his nose and then shoves it back into his pocket.

“You sound awful,” Mason grimaces.

Sean hums in agreement, blinking slowly, “yeah.”

“That’s it?”

Sean furrows his eyebrows at his friend, "when’d you get here?”

“…Same time you did…like always.  We have the same Wednesday shift. Are you sure you don’t have a fever?”

“Mmmmnh…no fever…s’cold medicine.”

“You should drug yourself more often, I like it when you’re a little out of it.  Less annoying, ya know?” He says, crouching down so he can grab something from the cabinet underneath the reception desk.

“Shit, Mason,” Sean says, eyes widening as he stares at the empty space in front of him.

“What?” Mason asks, voice muffled from inside the cabinet.

“Where’d you go?” Sean asks, waving his arms in front of him, where Mason was standing five seconds earlier.

Mason stands up, placing a stack of room keys in front of them, “what?”

“You’re back!” Sean cries happily, throwing his arms around Mason.  

“You really need to go home,” Mason chuckles, squirming out of Sean’s grip.  “I need you-“

“Mason, I’m flattered, but no.”

“Shut up, you moron,” Mason laughs, “we need to do wake up calls, and I want to see this.”

Sean blinks, “see what?”

“See you make phone calls while you’re high off your ass.”

Sean blinks again, staring down at the phone, “right now?”

“Yeah.”

“‘Kay,” he mumbles, sniffling, his vision swimming as he dials the number.

“Hello?” A voice chirps on the other end, “who is this?”

“Hey, yo…uh this is your wake up call.”

“…I’m sorry?” She says, confusion coloring her voice.

“Whoops, excuse me, heh, this is the front desk at…the, um…” Sean squints in confusion.

“Oceanside-“ Mason starts.

“OCEANSIDE HOTEL,” Sean cries, slamming his hand on the counter, “that’s it.  Yeah, so your wake up call.  This is it.”

“I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong number.”

“…oh. Sorry.  Shit it’s early, I’m sorry.”

The person on the other end chuckles lightly, “don’t worry, I was up for the day already.”

“Oh…good.  Good…hey, you sound cute-“

“-Aaaaaand that’s where I cut you off,” Mason grins, taking the phone from him to hang up.

Sean squawks indignantly, “hey, I was having a conversation.”

“Yeah, and you’ll thank me when the meds wear off.”

He ends up calling that same number by accident a good five times.  The woman on the other end is way more patient than Sean or Mason would have been, although Sean suspects it’s because he sounds like hell and she feels bad for him. Either way, talking to her was the highlight of his day, and he was slightly frustrated when Mason took the phone away.  

By the time he’s finished with his shift, he’s dead on his feet, and is completely miserable.  He has tomorrow off, which he’s grateful for, because he feels like death.

“Bye, man,” Mason say, grabbing his keys and wallet from his locker.

“Mmhmm...bye,” he rasps, coughing into the crook of his elbow. All of the talking was murder on his throat, and now his voice is virtually gone.

Mason grimaces, “do you need a ride home?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay...well...go home and sleep. And don’t crash and die on your way home. I’ll kill you.”

“Okay.”

Mason stares at him, “you’re not even going to comment on that? Damn you really are out of it.”

“What are you talking about?” Sean asks, irritation lacing his tone as his sinuses buzz again.

“Never mind, just drive-“ Sean sneezes into his shoulder, and mason flinches at how tired and itchy it sounds. “-safe.”

Sean sniffles, “I will.”

Mason nods, “good. Call me if you need anything...or just...someone to come make fun of you because I can do both.”

Sean flips him off weakly, opting not to say anything, because he feels like he’s on the verge of a coughing fit and his throat is killing him.

Mason grins, “okay go sleep. Don’t die.”

When he gets home at two thirty, he collapses into bed and only wakes up to feed Pepper later that night.  

He doesn’t even really remember waking up, but he’s vaguely aware of walking into the kitchen and almost being bowled over by the excited husky when he drops the food into her dish.  

“Chill,” he croaks, pushing at her weakly as she jumps all over him. “Pep, stop, I’m tired.”

She finally calms down enough so that he can stand up and go back to bed.  

“Night,” he mumbles, patting her before walking back into his room. 

He doesn’t sleep well.  He spends most of his night tossing and turning, and when he finally wakes around nine, he feels severely sleep deprived. His brain feels muddled, but even through the haze, he can tell something is wrong.  

It takes a couple of minutes for him to realize that Pepper isn’t on the bed next to him.  He hears her whimpering from the other room, and after he wills himself to get out of bed, he walks out into the kitchen.

Pepper is lying on her side on the floor, crying weakly, and Sean’s heart drops.  

“Pepper? Pep? What’s the matter, girl?” He coos, dropping down on his knees next to her. “Alright, let’s go to the vet, yeah? You’ll feel better soon, I promise.”

He scoops her up, stumbling when he stands upright.  He sniffles, a cough bubbling in his chest as he hurries to the car.

Mason is slumped down in the chair in the exam room, waiting for Doctor Jones to come in and check on Pepper, and maybe let him know what the hell is going on. Pepper is completely listless, a stark change from the hyper puppy that had nearly knocked him over the previous night.

What had happened? She was fine.  

There’s a knock on the door, which breaks him out of his thoughts, and he manages to look up when it opens.  A beautiful, tall brunette who looks a bit younger than him walks in, and he frowns in confusion.

“Uh...you’re not Pepper’s regular doctor.”

“Doctor Jones is out of the office today,” she explains, “I’m Doctor Flynn. Did the nurse not tell you?”

“Um,” he sniffles, rubbing at his forehead, “she may have? I’m a little out of it, sorry.”

“It’s alright.  So what’s wrong with Pepper today?”

“I’m not sure...she was crying this morning when I woke up, and she hasn’t really...moved since then.”

“How’s she been eating?”

He blinks, “um...I don’t think she ate dinner last night? She ate breakfast though.”

“Has she vomited?”

He shakes his head, “no.”

“Okay, well we’ll take her for x-rays,” she says, stroking Pepper. “I kind of get the feeling she might have eaten something she shouldn’t have. Lots of puppies do it.”

The vet pokes her head out of the room, and Sean rubs at his aching temples. Now that the panic and adrenaline have worn off, he’s starting to feel miserable again.

“She puts everything in her mouth, I wouldn’t be surprised,” he sniffles when she comes back in the room., stifling a sneeze into the crook of his elbow.

She grimaces, “bless you.  Caught that bug going around?”

He nods, rubbing his throat, “yeah, um...I probably would have been fine if I didn’t have to work tomorrow-uh...I mean yesterday.”

“Where do you work?”

“Oceanside hotel,” he rasps, clearing his throat.

She bursts out laughing, “by chance did you happen to call a wrong number yesterday...five times?”

His eyes widen, “that was you?”

She grins, “it was, I’m Lucy.”

“Sean...I’m so sorry,” he groans. “I was so drugged up on cold meds...all of the numbers were blurring together.”

“It’s fine, I promise.  I thought it was great,” she chuckles.

“I was right…you are cute.”

“So are you,” she says without missing a beat, and shoots him a cute, dimpled smile.  “Pepper is going to get some x-rays. We’re going to see what’s going on.”

He sighs in relief, which sends him into a coughing fit, “thank you so much.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Hey, so I know this is a long shot, but you don’t happen to have any people medicine?”

“I have some Advil...I don’t think that’ll help you much, though.”

“Not really,” he mumbles, “but thank you.”

She nods, eyeing him intently, “hey, feel free to say no, but can I buy you a coffee...or cup of tea, and maybe some medicine? Pepper is my last patient and you look like you want to die.”

He blinks slowly, not sure if he’s hallucinating or not, “are you asking me out?”

“What if I am?” She asks, crossing her arms and raising a brow at him.

He coughs into the crook of his elbow, “are vets supposed to date their patient’s owners?”

She smirks, “technically Pepper isn’t my patient, I’m just filling in for Doctor Jones.”

He sniffles again, “uh...yeah. That would be great, my throat is killing me.”

He didn’t even need to say it - his voice is hoarse with only a roughness that comes from a severe sore throat.  Every word sounds painful to speak, and she doesn’t miss how much he grimaces each time he swallows.  

“Alright, awesome!” She chirps.

“How is Pepper your last patient?” He frowns, “it’s ten in the morning.”

“I work the ten to ten shift.”

He blinks, “...how do you work zero minutes?”

“...I...the ten pm to ten am shift?”

“Fuck,” he groans, “I promise I’m smarter than this.”

She bursts out laughing, “I’m really spacey when I’m sick, too, don’t worry.”

Somehow when Sean was sleeping, Pepper had managed to chew up something (he was guessing it was the carpeting and/or rug in the kitchen) and swallowed it.  It would have been fine, had she not also swallowed a string, which wrapped around the foam and whatever else she had eaten.  Now, she had a large blockage in her stomach that needed surgery.  

Sean was near tears, which was partly due to the fever that had spiked halfway through Pepper’s x-rays, partly due to how worried he is for Pepper, and partly due to the guilt he was feeling for leaving her alone in the living room instead of bringing her into his room while he slept.  

Lucy keeps telling him that she’s going to be okay, that they have one of the best surgeons on staff, and that their staff will be monitoring her carefully to make sure she’ll be okay.  

He just wants to go home at this point, and he tells Lucy that they’ll have to take a rain check because he needs to go lie down.  

Lucy walks out with him, yawning tiredly.  Sean trudges to his car, and lets out a strangled croak of frustration when he peers through the window and sees not only his keys in the ignition, but his phone on the driver’s seat.

“What happened?” She asks, walking over to him.  

He blinks away the tears that are gathered in his eyes, and clears his throat, “I locked my keys and phone in my car...ugh, I just wanted to get Pepper inside...I must have forgotten to grab them”

“Well shoot,” she frowns.

“Um...can I borrow your phone?” He muffles a sneezing fit into the crook of his elbow, and then sniffles miserably, “I’ll put it on speaker…and try not to touch it too much.”

She purses her lips, “you’re miserable.”

He shrugs, “yeah.”

“I promise I’m not trying to sound pushy, but I have a very comfortable couch and a lot of fluffy blankets,” she adds when she sees him shiver, “and a bunch of medicine and tea and soup.  Come back to my place and sleep, I’ll drive you back here tomorrow and I’ll let you borrow my phone and you can call a tow truck.”

The offer is more than tempting.  He’s aching to lie down, aching to go to sleep, because this day has been hell (and it’s still early), and aching to be drugged with cold meds.

“Okay...that would be great.  I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Alright.  You can buy me a drink once you’re feeling better.”

He grins lazily, “deal.”

She smiles, tucking a lock of her curly brunette hair behind her ear, “ready to go?”

“More than ready,” he mumbles, muffling a cough into the crook of his elbow.

#Lucy and Sean #and Mason #OCs #sickfic #sneezing #coughing #fever #poor sick puppy :( #emeto tw #sort of? #idk

[galaxystony]

fortune’s fool: peter parker III

peter parker x reader

A/N: multi-part fic based off of a twitter post which I won’t link until the end so as not to spoil anything :-) Each part can be read individually or as a series! (ps i’m dedicating this chapter to @rileywrites-parker bc i appreciate her very much and i’m still shook that she likes my story aaaah!)

requested: nope

Words: 3200+

Warnings: cursing, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of death, angst

summary: Two Empire State University students fated to meet, but just out of reach

let me know if you’d like to be added to my tag list!

requests are open!

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | masterlist

3. Tragedy

23 year old Peter, 21 year old reader

When asked in the future, she’ll say that she can’t quite remember how it happened. She’ll say that everything occurred too fast, that every word, every breath, every second was a blur of color and sound, incoherent to her numb body. Perhaps, though, that was only an outcome of the slippery hands of time, that her own mind let her forget.

The truth was, when it actually happened, she was acutely aware of everything, every sense attuned to the sobs and heavy breathing on the other end of the phone.

“Dead on impact,” the crackly voice said. She’d heard it. Processed it. Internalized it. She understood from the moment that the words slipped out of that trembling, crying mouth. Gone. Forever. And then she hung up, booked a train ticket, and packed her bags. She didn’t cry.

6 Hours

The loud honking of a horn disrupted her from her reverie, causing her head to snap up from its buried position in her book. A smiling face greeted her through the open window of the car, beckoning her towards him.

“Hey, babe! What’re you doing out here?” Peter asked, leaning over the empty passenger seat.

“Studying,” she hummed, peeking through the window, her arms rested against the car door.

“In the rain? At eight in the evening?” he asked incredulously, eyeing her raincoat and dripping hair.

“I like the smell. It also means that nobody else is out here today. Plus, it’s not dark out yet,” she smiled, gesturing with a nod towards the indeed empty park where she’d just been sitting.

“You’re gonna catch a cold, crazy. Come on, get in. We can grab some coffee on the way home,” Peter offered, leaning forward even further to open the door for her.

“Fine,” she agreed, sliding into the heated car. “But make it a tea.”

“You got it, boss,” he grinned, pulling away from the curb and accelerating in the direction of their apartment.

Twenty minutes later, they were shaking their umbrellas out just outside their front door, making sure they were as dry as possible before they stepped inside.

She dropped her bag by the door, waiting for Peter to shut the heavy wood behind them before helping him out of his jacket, a routine they’d performed countless times since she’d moved in a year earlier.

Though she’d been adamant about living separately from Peter while still in school, she found herself accepting his offer to move in the moment she graduated.

“Only because I’d have nowhere else to go, though,” she clarified, and Peter laughed and pulled her into a tight hug.

Nothing had changed much from before she moved in. Now, though, she was expected to help with groceries and chores- beyond picking up after herself, of course- and most importantly, she had her own room.

It was the small back room that used to hold Peter’s punching bag but had since been transformed into a white-walled sanctuary with plants and candles lining her desk and windowsill.

At first, Peter protested that she didn’t need her own room. “You can just stay in my room like you always do,” was his reasoning.

“Peter, I’m not living in your room,” she frowned.

“But you always stay with me, anyway,” he argued, mimicking her crossed arms and defensive stance.

“Yeah, but that’s because I had my own room and my own apartment to go back to. Trust me, you don’t want me staying in your room for the foreseeable future.” And that was that. Two weeks later, she was moving into her own room, and suddenly, what once was Peter’s space was now hers, too.

There was an ease, she found, in living with her best friend. They knew each other better than the back of their hands, and so they were able to work together in harmony to keep their little home running.

She knew that Peter, as smart as he was, was completely inept when it came to anything that had to do with plumbing or heating or any sort of repairs their apartment needed, and he knew that she couldn’t cook something as simple as a grilled cheese to save her life, and so she took care of mending their home while he made sure they were both fed.

“We’ve got this whole ‘gender role’ thing all turned around,” he remarked once after she’d fixed a busted pipe underneath the kitchen sink.

“Hmm. I guess we do,” she agreed. Then she brushed a lock of hair out of her face and said, “Now go make me a sandwich” and he laughed, but complied.

Back in the front hall, she was shaking her wet hair out so that she could pull it up and out of her face when Peter called from the kitchen “What do you want for dinner?”

“Uh, do we still have that pasta from last night? ‘Cause I’ll just heat some of that up,” she replied, making her way to the small kitchen. She found Peter placing a bowl of cold noodles into the microwave before she was able to do it herself. “Oh, thanks,” she smiled, sitting heavily at the small round table.

Peter sat down in his usual seat across from her and she picked her socked feet up and rested them on his lap. “Long day?” he asked, watching her drooping eyes as she fought exhaustion.

“No, just tired. Med school sucks,” she groaned, propping her head on a clenched fist. “Why did I have to choose a medical major, again?”

“Because you want to help people? Especially people like your sister who need prosthetics to go about their daily lives? Stop me when I get any warmer,” Peter chuckled softly.

“Right,” she sighed. “I guess that’d make this all worth it.”

“Don’t sound so glum, smarty pants. In a few short years, you’ll be out there changing lives and you’ll hardly remember how much you hated all eight years of higher education,” he grinned.

She smiled, nudging his stomach softly with her foot. “Thanks, Peter.” Somehow he always knew what to say.

4 hours

“Y/N, are you going out tonight? I need to know whether or not to let Ned and MJ over.”

She was sitting at her desk, letting her eyes pore over the medical article she had pulled up on her laptop when Peter’s question pulled her focus away.

“Uh, no, I think I’m staying in,” she replied, clicking out of the website and shutting her laptop.

She heard his footsteps draw closer to her door then stop. Peter knocked then peeked his head through the doorway. “Studying again?”

“Yup,” she responded, pulling her legs underneath her and beckoning him inside. “Crazy Friday night, am I right?”

“Oh yeah, total rager. Everyone’s either gonna end up passed out or throwing up,” he said seriously, only breaking when she laughed at his expression. “Nah, Ned and MJ wanted to try out a new recipe, and they claim that we have the better oven, so I said they could come over. Sometimes I really regret buying them those best friend cooking lessons.”

“You’re right. I better study out there and make sure they don’t accidentally burn part of the apartment down. Again.” She got up, gathering her necessary books and her laptop, and she followed Peter into the living room.

“What about you? Any plans tonight?” she asked once she was seated comfortably on the sofa.

“Just the nightly rounds for me. Probably won’t stay out too late unless something big happens,” Peter shrugged, moving to the kitchen to grab the bowl of popcorn he’d set out.

“Okay. Be safe,” she reminded him, watching his reaction over the top of her computer to ensure that he was being sincere when he agreed, and not just saying so to appease her.

“Always am, babe,” he smiled, throwing a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

The sound of the front door unlocking caused them to look in its direction, watching the knob turn until it opened to reveal the other half of their rather motley crew.

“Hey MJ, Ned,” she waved at their smiling faces. Both were carrying full plastic bags which they immediately dropped in the kitchen before collapsing into their usual seats on the sofa next to Y/N. “What’re we testing tonight?”

“Pumpkin bread. Just in time for Halloween,” Ned beamed, stretching an arm over the top of the cushions and pulling her into his side.

“It’s halfway through September, Ned,” Peter frowned from across the room where he lounged on the creaky recliner.

“Exactly. I’m behind this year,” he groaned. Y/N and MJ laughed, knowing full well that any holiday at all may not have even been celebrated if it hadn’t been for Ned.

“Yeah, I just agreed to the recipe because he begged,” MJ shrugged, a smile still shining in her eyes. “Anyway, we’ll start now so we don’t keep you guys up too late.”

“Wait, let me get out of here first. I don’t want to have to bear witness to the destruction you’re about to cause in my kitchen.” Peter pushed himself out of his seat and retreated to his room only to emerge a minute later in his telltale red and blue suit. “See you guys soon.”

“Be careful, Spidey,” MJ called from inside the kitchen, hardly looking up from her mixing bowl.

“Yeah, what she said,” Ned agreed.

Peter smiled, feeling a familiar warmth in his chest. The support his friends gave him made the bad parts of the job much easier. He was struck, not for the first time, by how thankful he was to have them.

“Later, gator,” Y/N declared from her seat.

“In a while, crocodile,” he responded with a smile and a little salute before checking both ways out of their open window and shooting a web at the building across the street when he saw that all was clear, pulling himself up and out with a loud whoop.

“Honestly, I don’t know how nobody in this building knows his secret. That kid is the furthest thing from subtle,” MJ stated, mixing her batter vigorously while Y/N and Ned laughed in a silent agreement.

1 Hour

It was after one a.m. Peter still wasn’t home. She knew she shouldn’t be worried. He was Spider-Man, for God’s sake. He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

Still, no amount of reasoning could quell the raging storm in her mind as she watched the flickering lights of the city from the fire escape, hoping that she’d catch a glimpse of the familiar bright suit that would indicate his safety.

This had become a nightly routine for her since he’d come back several months ago at the crack of dawn with a broken arm and mild concussion.

“I’ll be fine,” he’d said. “I’ll be good as new by tomorrow morning, don’t worry about me.”

But that’s all she ever seemed to do now. Worry. Her mind took inklings of horrible thoughts and ran with them, which led to her thinking of every possible terrible thing that could be keeping him from coming home.

Most days, he’d come back a little after midnight without a scratch and a little spring in his step as he prided himself in his success. Sometimes, though, he’d come back later after a particularly bad fight, battered and bruised and looking for his best friend to patch him up.

She always did it without a second thought, not asking him for the details. She knew he’d open up if he wanted to, so she didn’t push.

Tonight, though, her heart constricted in her chest. She’d had a bad feeling all day, like a little whisper in her mind was saying “look out, look out, look out.” And so she sat on the fire escape and she looked out.

She watched as lights in the apartment building across the street blinked out one by one until every window was dark. Most people, she knew, were asleep without a worry in their mind. MJ and Ned certainly were after leaving about an hour ago.

It was these moments where she felt the most alone. Her best friend was out until ungodly hours of the morning saving the city, and her other two friends had their own separate lives from hers. All she had now were her thoughts which pounded relentlessly against her skull, like waves crashing and crashing against a sandy shore.

He better be okay, she thought sullenly, squinting at a slight movement on the street below. Nope, just an alley cat. She sighed, leaning her head back against the cold metal of the narrow steps.

She checked her watch. 1:45. She sighed again, closing her eyes tightly in an attempt to ignore the rising panic in her chest. Now was not the time for an anxiety attack. She hadn’t had one in quite a while, especially after meeting Peter who somehow always knew how to keep them at bay, but there were times when she knew that the dark little monster hiding in her shadows would win and she’d be out of commission for at least five minutes as she tried to calm herself down.

She checked her phone for the umpteenth time in the past few minutes. Still no text from Peter. With a groan, she shot him a message of her own in hopes that Karen would notify him of it and he’d respond.

Two minutes later, her phone chimed, and  she picked it up quickly, seeing the Incoming Call notification. She swiped her screen to answer, speaking worriedly into it.

“Peter, are you okay? Why haven’t you been answering me?” she demanded, an unprompted scowl gracing her features.

“Y/N, this isn’t Peter,” the voice on the other end spoke. She frowned, pulling it away from her ear to check the caller ID.

“Oh, sorry dad. I was expecting him to call. What’s going on? Why are you calling me at two in the morning?” she asked, digging a finger into a hole in the blanket she had draped over her shoulders in an effort to combat the biting wind.

“Y/N, something bad happened,” her father’s voice shook, and she knew he was fighting off tears.

“Dad, what happened? Are you okay? What’s going on?” she repeated, sitting up so she was no longer leaning against the cold metal.

“It’s your sister. She was in an accident. Someone hit her car when she was on her way home from work. The police said…” a sob cut his sentence off prematurely as her eyes widened in disbelief.

“What? What happened to her? Is she okay? Dad, you need to tell me what happened!” She was hysterical by now, pleading with her father to tell her whether or not her sister was alright.

“She’s dead,” he choked through another sob. “Died upon impact, they said.”

“No. There’s no way. She’s not. Dad, tell me you’re lying,” she ordered him, but she knew. She just knew. “Dad. I’m coming home. Tomorrow. I’ll be there, okay dad?”

She could hear his sound of approval, a tiny thing that cut through the sound of his crying. Her heart clenched when she thought about her poor younger sister who she’d left behind for the city, who always knew the right things to say and had a heart big enough to love everybody.

Why? she thought, clenching the wool blanket as she hung up the phone in a daze. Why her? She’d already gone through so much since the first accident. Why did she have to suffer even more? It didn’t make sense.

A clang from somewhere above her startled her out of her stupor and she looked up to find Peter in his tight suit climbing stealthily down the stairs until he was in front of her and pulling his mask off, allowing his too-long brown curls to fall in his face.

“Y/N? What’re you still doing up?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing at her unfocused eyes.

“Peter,” was all she said until she collapsed in his arms, eyes still wide and unseeing and free of any tears. Cry, she thought. What’s wrong with you? Why won’t you just cry?

Peter pulled her closer without a word, arms clenching around her trembling figure. “What happened, Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asked the same questions she had just minutes earlier.

“My sister died, Peter,” she spoke into his chest, squeezing him tightly to ground herself, scared that if she let go, she’d float away into nonexistence.

“What! When? How? Are you serious?” He pulled back, holding her at arm’s length to stare into her empty gaze.

“Car accident. Dead upon impact. There was nothing they could do,” she replied, her voice sounding hollow to her own ears.

“Oh my God. Y/N, I’m so sorry, what can I do?” he asked, gripping her hands tightly in his own.

“I need to buy a train ticket. I need to go home, Peter,” she looked up at his face which was twisted into a frown, concern shining in his eyes.

“Of course, Y/N, but do you need anything right now? Do you want to talk about it? She’s- was- your best friend. I know this is so hard for you,” he said, pulling her back into his embrace.

“I can’t talk about it right now. It doesn’t feel real. It feels like she’s gonna be meeting me at the station with that huge smile once I get there. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what to think. I mean, I can’t even cry, Peter. What is wrong with me? I loved her more than I could’ve loved anybody else, but I can’t even cry for her,” she whispered worriedly.

“Just because you’re not crying doesn’t make you a bad person, babe. You’re just in shock, I think. I know that my uncle’s death isn’t even near the same as this, but I was the same way. But once I got past the shock, I was able to grieve with May, and eventually it got better. Trust me, Y/N, I know it seems like the entire world is fighting you right now, and that nothing will ever go right again, but it will get better, I promise you that,” he assured her, rubbing a soothing hand over her back. “Now come on, I’m staying with you tonight, and then first thing tomorrow, we’re buying two train tickets home, okay?”

“Two?” she asked, peeking at him through her eyelashes.

“One for me and one for you. You’re not alone in this, Y/N. I’m here for you. Always,” he promised, pulling her until she was through the window and collapsed on her bed with his body wrapped tightly around hers.

She stared blankly into the darkness as Peter drifted off, soft snores escaping his upturned nose. He pulled her close, nestling his face into the crook of her neck, but she couldn’t sleep. She just stared and stared and didn’t- no, couldn’t-  think. She stared until the dark became light, and she started as Peter bought her their train tickets, and she stared through the window of the moving train, and she stared through her dad’s car window, completely unable to speak, no matter how much Peter prompted her to.

She couldn’t stand to admit to him that she was not his Y/N anymore. She was not even her own. As far as she was concerned, she died in that car accident too, and nobody, not even Peter, could bring her back.

tagged: @multi-parker @cutie1365 @cersei-lannister @oswald-1998 @kawaiianime03 @lionfart @mrsdoradominguez-barnes @nonewmessage @co0kies08 @dec-snowy @sunshine-little-miss @cubedtriangle @triggerfingerfunction​ @dailygubler​ @dianadawson @frickflop @sparkle-dinosaur @theholyholland 

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[elorabael]

6/15/19 Saturday

Idk why I have the compulsion to tell certain people literally everything about my life. Like every single thing. I put some thought to it and it turns out that maybe it's because I'm more likely to remember it if I had typed it out to someone. It could also be a way of tracking progress, good and bad. Also it feels good to let it out. Hence why I am trying to write here rather than to my friend X, so that I can chill out on texting her and focus that venting energy here.

My head hurts so much, I almost get why people call it a "splitting" headache. Missed my morning med for I think the first time today, and i got bad brain zaps from it starting at around 9. I took my night meds around 9:20 or so, and within the half hour, they subsided pretty much. I still had a few later on but they are mostly gone. I had one thought the process of laying down in my bed, and that felt odd. In a way I thought they felt interesting physically, so I didn't mind so much as long as I got into bed and was able to lay down with it, because standing up with them is a little scary. But yeah I didn't mind this stuff until the fucking brutal headache came along. idk how I am gonna sleep now, I am so mentally and physically uncomfortable. I wanna go to sleep now so I can wake up early and take the morning med and then go back to sleep, hopefully without a headache. And I don't often get headaches so I feel unable to sleep rn. It is around midnight and I fucking wanna sleep.

Today was work orientation at HIB so that was good, I mean they didn't let me eat anything besides iceberg lettuce which sucked. I'm going to be calling R about that on Monday, hopefully they let me eat. It was a full day of not eating from 8:30am to 9pm, with physical and mental work in between... And iceberg lettuce and italian ice, because that's all they had for me. I had some sorbet after too, because that was all that was around for me after walking to M's job.

My head like really hurts and idk what to do about it. I don't like taking pain medication for a few reasons actually, but maybe I will cave tonight. It hurts, and i am tired, and I feel like I can't sleep.

Goodnight :c

Whoops, zaps happen full-blown again when I am standing up, fun.