#trying to marathon the movies instead but Also No Focus!!

[bingwriterxo]

first time

pairing: vada cavell x reader

summary: in which you and vada have your first time together

warnings: smut (character is 18+), 18+ (minors DNI), fingering

word count: 2200+

author's note: here she is: awkward, rambling vada. also (slight spoilers but...) [insert booksmart scene here]

"Mom?" you called out mid-yawn as you made your way downstairs, rubbing your eyes to try to wake yourself up more after the late-afternoon nap you had taken. When you were met with silence, you tried the other parent. "Dad?" Again, no response.

You shrugged as you walked into the kitchen, and your eyes narrowed as you caught sight of a piece of paper laying on the counter. You picked it up and read it over quickly, excitement surging through your veins.

Work trip this weekend. See you Sunday night. 

- Mom & Dad

vada can come over :)

The last part was scribbled on like an after-thought, and you knew your dad had written it. 

You dropped the paper onto the counter and pulled your phone from the pocket of your hoodie, immediately dialing your girlfriend's number. Leaning back against the counter, you waited for her to pick up. 

"Hey." Her voice was groggy, like she had also just woken up.

"Were you sleeping?" you asked. 

She hummed. "Yeah. Figured you were asleep when you didn't answer my texts so I thought I'd nap, too." You heard some shuffling on the other end and then Vada yawned. "What's up?"

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, trying to stop yourself from grinning. "My mom and dad are gone for the weekend. They said you could come over. I've got the house to myself, so..."

"Movie marathon!" she shouted excitedly. You listened as she scrambled out of her bed, hopping around her bedroom in search for things to pack in her duffle bag. "I'll leave in, like, ten. Put something good on the TV!" You could hear her smiling through the phone.

"Okay, see you soon. Love you." 

She squealed. "Love you!"

* * *

The movie playing on the television was boring you half out of your mind. You had chosen a random one that you knew Vada had been wanting to watch with you, and you had tried to focus on it for the first half-hour, but something kept distracting you. Well, something aside from your girlfriend's nonstop rambling. 

"I used to have the biggest crush on Blake Lively as a kid, you know," Vada said, her eyes trained on the screen. Her hand was digging in the bowl of popcorn that was resting between the two of you, and you giggled as she shoved some of the snack into her mouth. "But, man, is Anna Kendrick hot," she mumbled around the food. "I mean, obviously I know she's hot, 'cause, like, I'm not blind, but something about her in this movie just hits different."

You weren't ignoring her, per se, but you definitely weren't fully listening, instead choosing to stare at your girlfriend's side profile as she munched on the popcorn and talked with her mouth full--a habit of hers that you had hated at first but now couldn't help find somewhat endearing (as long as you weren't looking at her face-on). 

"And, well, Blake Lively is Blake Lively, and who doesn't have a crush on her?" Vada continued. If you had been paying attention to the movie on the screen, you were almost sure you wouldn't have been able to hear any of it over the girl's talking, anyway, so it was better that you weren't watching, right?

When she realized she hadn't heard from you in a few minutes, she glanced your way, and you smiled softly. She offered you a confused grin. "Are you not watching?"

You hummed and turned back to the television. "No, no. I am," you lied. You could feel her eyes on you, and you knew that if you looked at her, she'd be giving you that damn lovestruck look she always had on her face when she was around you, the one that made you weak in the knees and had your heart beating rapidly.

"Y/N," she said, calling your attention back to her. You had been correct--she was staring at you with a half-smile, like she didn't even realize her lips were upturned, and soft eyes, 

"Yes?"

Her eyes flitted down to your lips quickly, then back to your eyes. "Can I kiss you?"

You giggled. "You don't have to ask, Vads. We're dating."

She shrugged, hiding in her shoulders for a moment. "I know," she said, voice shy and slightly embarrassed. "But I just wanna make sure every time. Because, like, what if one day I don't ask, and you don't want a kiss, and then--"

You pressed your lips to hers, effectively silencing her, and sighed when she kissed back eagerly. You reached down, pushed the empty popcorn bowl to the floor, and then easily maneuvered onto Vada's lap. She grinned against you, hands flying to your waist. 

"I always like when you're on top when we make out," she began, "because I like the weight." She paused, eyes wide. "I'm not, like, saying you're heavy or anything, not that that would be a problem if you were, obviously, but it's like a weighted blanket! You know, like how they can help anxiety and--"

"Vada," you said softly, eyes flickering between her own. 

She gulped, and her fingers twitched against your sweatshirt. "Yeah?"

"Could you just kiss me?"

She bit her lip. "Yeah. That I can definitely do." 

Vada stretched her neck up, and you leaned down. You met in the middle, lips moving feverishly against each other. Your arms were wrapped around her shoulders, playing with the baby hairs at the nape of her neck, while her hands slipped beneath the hem of your sweatshirt, her skin warm on yours. 

Her tongue swiped over your bottom lip at the same time as her fingers rose upward, the tips of her thumbs beneath your breasts. She pulled away quickly. "Are you not..." She moved her hands up a little more, feeling nothing except skin. "You're not wearing a bra."

You shook your head. "Nope." You grinned. "Is that a problem?"

"Definitely not," she breathed out, pulling you back into a bruising kiss. You groaned at the feeling, and she took it as an invitation, her tongue smoothing over your own. Vada's touch rose higher until she was palming your breasts softly, and you hummed against her.

After a moment, you nipped at her bottom lip and pulled away, your breathing heavy as you stared at her. Her pupils were blown, her lips were swollen, and you gulped before reaching down and pulling your sweatshirt off. Her eyes widened at the sight.

"Woah," she said as though she had never seen you topless before. You rolled your eyes with a smile because she had the same reaction every time the two of you did this, and then you leaned back in.

She seemed to still against you, and you reached down, urging her hands to keep moving. She took the hint, her thumbs beginning to circle your nipples, and you whined, your hips bucking up before you could stop them. 

Vada pulled away and dropped her head to your chest, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your sternum until she reached your breasts. She took one of your nipples into her mouth, and you threw your head back, a soft moan slipping from your lips. Her tongue ran along the bud while her lips sucked on it.

"Fuck, baby," you groaned, arching your back to push yourself into her touch more. 

Her hands dropped to your waist, though her mouth didn't stop, and she played with the hem of your shorts. "Do you wanna...?" she asked when she pulled back, staring up at you, her fingers dipping. 

"Yes," you said quickly, nodding to emphasize your agreement. "Yes, please."

Vada grinned, circled her arms around your waist, and then carefully laid you down on the couch, resting between your legs. Her mouth was quickly on your chest again as one of her hands slipped beneath your shorts, her finger running over your clothed slit. You squeaked in delight, hips canting up. 

"I can feel you through your underwear," Vada said. "You're really wet."

You nodded shyly, glancing away. "Yeah, well..."

She frowned and reached up, her free hand resting on your cheek and making you look at her again. "It's not bad. It's good. Really good, actually." She grinned, and you couldn't help your own smile. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I have no idea what I'm doing, really. Well, I kind of do, since, you know, I also have a vagina, but, like, I've obviously never had sex with anyone else, so I don't know if I'll do it right, and I want your first time to be good."

"Vads, baby," you cooed. "It'll be great if it's with you."

"Okay, okay," she said. She leaned up and kissed you again, her hand slipping beneath your panties. You both groaned, you at the feeling and her at the feeling of you. She rubbed your clit experimentally and you moaned.

"Shit," you cursed. "Yeah, that's--that's good."

Vada started circling it softly, and you couldn't help your whimpering. She was careful, a little too careful, but you weren't going to rush her, especially since it felt amazing.

"You can..." You gasped as she sped up a little. "Yeah, I was gonna say--"

"That's good, then?" she asked. Her eyes were on you, watching all of your reactions, trying to make sure she was doing the right thing.

"Very," was your short response. 

"Can I...well, should I...go in?"

"Yeah," you murmured. "Yeah, okay."

Her hand pushed down just a little bit farther, and then--

Oh.

You gasped at the feeling. Vada glanced up. "Is that...okay? Or was it better earlier? Or--"

You gulped and looked down at her, offering her a half-hearted smile. "Babe...I--I don't think that's the hole you were going for..." you whispered, trying not to embarrass her. Her eyes widened, and a blush immediately painted over her face. She pulled out and then pulled away, even though you reached out for her, trying to bring her back in. 

"Oh my god, oh my god. I am so sorry," she rushed out. "I just...I didn't even realize that I had gone down that far, and I just went for it, and--oh my god, I am so sorry, baby."

You grabbed at her shirt, pulled her toward you again until she was hovering above you. "It's okay, Vads," you promised. She was fidgety, clearly anxious, and you reached up, cupping her cheek. "Baby, I swear, it's okay."

She bit her lip. "I just fucked up our first time having sex. Oh my god, it's our first time having sex and I just...I just put my finger--"

You giggled a little. "It's okay. I'm fine; we're fine." You leaned up and kissed her gently. "Do you wanna try again?"

Vada looked at you hesitantly. "Can I?" she asked. "I kind of feel like I need to try to redeem myself and get my finger in the right place. Because, I swear, I know where it's supposed to go. I promise."

"Vada, please try again," you said, the pleading in your voice clear as day. "I really want you to."

She nodded. "Okay." She leaned down and pressed her lips to yours, a little rough in her nerves. You didn't mind, accepting the kiss happily. 

Her fingers started to roam down your body again, and you inhaled sharply at the feel of her slipping beneath your panties again. Her fingers started at your clit, rubbing quick circles, and you moaned into her, her mouth catching the sound. 

"Okay," she said, determined. "This time I got it." Her finger slipped downward, and you felt her pressing against your entrance. "That's right, right?"

"Yes," you said. "Yes, baby. Please, just--"

She pushed her finger into you and you groaned, back arching. "God, you're tight, baby. Feels so good."

"Fuck," you mumbled as she started thrusting. She curled her finger whenever she was fully inside, and it wasn't hard for her to find the rough spot of your walls. "Shit, shit, Vads."

She grinned and dipped down to your neck, lips hot against your skin. You could feel her kissing and nipping and sucking, but you could only pay attention to the fact that she was in you. 

"You can," you started breathlessly, "you can add another one." 

Vada hummed into your neck and slipped a second finger in you. You gasped at the stretch, hands flying to grip her hair. Her thumb reached up to play with your clit, and she quickened her pace. You were rolling your hips against her, whimpering.

"You're so pretty," she said, voice muffled. "So good, baby."

The praise pushed you to the edge. "Vads, I'm gonna cum," you whined. She thrusted into you hard once, and then again, and then you were cumming around her fingers.  At the same moment your orgasm washed through you, her teeth nipped at your pulse point, and you shivered, fingers tightening in her hair and a moan of her name falling from your lips.

She pulled out of you gently, grinning smugly as she did, and you watched as she brought her fingers to her mouth, licking them curiously. Her eyes widened. "Okay," she said decidedly. "Next time, I'm going down on you."

You chuckled and bit your lip. "You think there's gonna be a next time?" you teased.

Vada frowned. "I thought I redeemed myself pretty well," she huffed. 

"I dunno. We might have to do it again...just to check."

She grinned. "Not a problem with me." And then her lips were on yours again and her hand was sliding down your front. 

#vada cavell x reader #vada cavell #vada x reader #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #jenna x reader #the fallout #vada cavell smut

[samasmith23]

Evangelion: You Can (Not) Marathon — (Part 13)

Neon Genesis Evangelion, “Episode 13: Angel Invasion/LILLIPUTIAN HITCHER”

Continuing my Evangelion re-watch marathon with NGE, “Episode 13: Angel Invasion/LILLIPUTIAN HITCHER.” For my thoughts on the previous episode, click the link to the post below:

Happy New Year everyone! Yeah… it’s been quite a while since I posted my last episode analysis of Evangelion, hasn’t it? The last time I discussed an episode was back in August 2023, as I had to temporarily postpone this marathon due to being preoccupied with Graduate School classes. But since I’m currently on Winter Break in-between semesters and I’ve only got one more class to complete before I finally get my Master’s degree in History of Ideas, I thought it was finally time to resume my marathon of every episode and movie from the EVA franchise! So with all of that out of the way, let's dig into the 13th episode of NGE!

Aww! I love how right off the bat this episode reiterates the deep-seated admiration that one of the three main NERV staff members, Maya Ibuki, holds for the organization’s head scientist, Ritsuko Akagi. Specifically, the episode opens in Central Dogma where Ritsuko & Maya are conducting a routine system’s check-up on the facility’s advanced supercomputer, the MAGI system. Not only does Ritsuko complement the speed at which Maya enters the code sequences into the database, to which Maya replies, “Of course. Did I have any choice with you as my boss,” but Maya can’t help but stare in awe at her screen when Ritsuko types in a more rapid command-function, stating to herself, “Wow… she is the master…”

In addition to emphasizing Ritsuko’s skill and proficiency as a computer programmer, which serves as a central focus for the episode, this opening scene also subtly hints through the former’s interaction with Maya that the latter might view her relationship with Ritsuko in a much higher regard than just a mere master-&-apprentice bond. Specifically, I along with a lot of other EVA fans interpret Maya as a lesbian who’s secretly in love with Ritsuko. 

The subject of queer-coding in Evangelion will become of greater significance when I eventually get around to discussing the character of Kaworu Nagisa in Episode 24, but this interaction along with several other scenes from future episodes of the series heavily infer that Maya secretly possesses romantic feelings for Ritsuko based on her dialogue and mannerisms when interacting with her. Although Maya’s attraction seems to be one-sided since it will later revealed that Ritsuko is sleeping with her boss Gendo Ikari in a failed effort to try and emotionally connect with her dead mother (which, again… GROSS…). 

But while it would also be inappropriate for Ritsuko to instead get together with Maya due to the mentor/student power imbalance in their relationship, I can’t help but feel that Ritsuko would be in a much happier and healthier place in life if she also came out as gay and dumped the bastard Gendo for a female love interest. Heck, I’d personally ship Ritsuko with Misato! considering that the two are both best friends who attended university together, plus there was also some potential queer-coding in that brief moment of a swimsuit-clad Ritsuko suggestively bumping into Misato back in Episode 1!

One last aspect of Maya’s queer-coding that I’ll briefly elaborate on here is that many fans have pointed out that her character design heavily resembles that of the main protagonist, Shinji Ikari,  further visually coding Shinji as potentially being a trans-femme egg! I absolutely love it!

Lol! As soon as I start talking about shipping Ritsuko & Misato, the latter then shows up to see if Ritsuko’s done with the MAGI’s system check-up. As Bane from The Dark Knight Rises once famously stated:

Alright, if I recall this is the first time the viewer is provided a visual diagram of the MAGI and how it specifically functions. While the MAGI has been referenced in passing throughout previous episodes, where it was portrayed as an advanced supercomputer that assists in and analyzes the effectiveness of battle strategies for combatting the Angels, as well as serves as the de-facto governing body for Tokyo-3 in place of an ACTUAL human mayor (who’s stated in Episode 11 to be a simple figure-head), it is here in Episode 13 that we first get a real glimpse of exactly how the MAGI operates.

According to the monitor diagram, the MAGI is divided into three separate systems that function in conjunction with each other, and are distinguished by the names “Melchior 1,” “Balthasar 2,” and “Casper 3.”

The names for the MAGI system themselves serve as yet another Biblical reference, specifically to the Three Wise Men from the Book of Matthew. According to Encyclopedia Britannica, “Magi, in Christian tradition, the noble pilgrims ‘from the East’ who followed a miraculous guiding star to Bethlehem, where they paid homage to the infant Jesus as king of the Jews (Matthew 2:1–12)… Eastern tradition sets the number of Magi at 12, but Western tradition sets their number at three, probably based on the three gifts of ‘gold, frankincense, and myrrh’ (Matthew 2:11) presented to the infant… In about the 8th century, the names of three Magi—Bithisarea, Melchior, and Gathaspa—appear in a chronicle known as the Excerpta Latina Barbari. They have become known most commonly as Balthasar, Melchior, and Gaspar (or Casper).”

Furthermore, the episode’s opening also alludes to the later twist that the MAGI is far more than simply just a set of 3 advanced supercomputers. Specifically, following the routine system check-up the scene immediately transitions to a weary Ritsuko alone in the bathroom where she looks at her reflection and states, “Everything checked out. As usual, Mother’s in good shape, but… is it just me getting older?”

Not only does Ritsuko’s line effectively foreshadow that her late mother, Dr. Naoko Akagi, was the MAGI’s original inventor, but also the revelation that Naoko digitized her own consciousness into the system itself.

Also, that final line of Ritsuko’s, “Is it just me getting older?” Not only does this line indicate that Ritsuko is potentially experiencing a mid-life crisis, but it is also reflective of the emptiness that she feels due to her existence being solely defined by her association with the inventions of her late mother whom it later revealed that she had a strained relationship with due to the latter career-oriented pursuits as a world-renowned scientist. Here, Hideaki Anno & crew effectively communicates through simple visuals and dialogue that Ritusko is burdened by her desire to understand and connect with her mother by routinely tending to her living legacy.

Also also, another fan online pointed this out, but these shots of Ritsuko leaning at the sink and staring at her reflection directly parallel those of Asuka later on in Episode 22, who similarly pilots her EVA Unit-02 due to being haunted by the specter of her own emotionally neglectful mother. Once again, Anno truly is a master of being able to convey so much information and character nuance through subtle visuals alone!

Lol! As hilarious as it is to listen to Asuka’s complaints about having to completely undress alongside Shinji & Rei as they enter a decontamination for a special harmonics synchronization test with their respective EVAs, I do legitimately love how the animators here utilize the three pilots’ silhouetted postures (only the character’s faces & feet are left unobscured) behind the glass to distinguish each character’s unique personality traits!

Despite Asuka’s justified protestations of being required to strip down for this test, we see that she’s standing proud and firm with both hands on her hips, which is contrasted against the frustrated expression on her face, conveying how Asuka utilizes her boastful pride as a facade to mask her insecurities in front of others. In stark contrast to Asuka, Shinji is unable to hide his embarrassment and anxiety, since in addition to having a nervous expression he’s placing both his hands over his crotch to desperately preserve his modesty, which is reflective of the character’s fears of opening himself up to others. Finally, Rei is once again presented as the neutral middle-ground to Shinji & Asuka’s opposing ends of the emotional spectrum, as she simply gives a blank deadpanned expression while standing completely still in a non-exaggerated manner, highlighting her struggles to emotionally connect with herself and others.

Also, I’m totally with Asuka here! I sincerely hope that Ritsuko is telling the truth when she reassures Asuka on the intercom that the security cameras have their monitors temporarily shut off as the pilots exit their decontamination showers to enter their EVAs. At least… that’s what I’m hoping the red light suddenly appearing on the camera following the two’s conversation…

Still, however, I am somewhat surprised that the exit hallway lacks any guard railing between the shower doors to protect the pilot’s modesty from each other. I know that I would personally want such a feature, especially as someone who’s always HATED and refused to utilize open-door public shower facilities! UGH! That’s always been a major pet peeve of mine!

Whew… at least we as viewers can breathe a sigh of relief in the fact that Ritsuko was at least telling the truth about the naked pilot’s visuals being obscured from the test operator’s computer screens since they’re only presented as green silhouettes inside of their Entry-Plugs. Although Shinji seems to be the only one among the trio wearing a safety belt inside. Weird…

So I’m rather curious as to what the purpose of this specific harmonics test is exactly. Like, I understand the idea that the reason Ritsuko had Shinji, Rei & Asuka undergo decontamination and sit inside their Entry Plugs completely naked was so that she could determine how well each pilot synchronizes with their respective EVA Units without any foreign contamination (which feels like a callback to Episode 8 when Asuka forced Shinji to sit inside the Entry-Plug with her and she initially experienced a program error due to Shinji’s Japanese thought patterns interfering with her Unit being pre-conditioned for her native German language).

But what’s NERV’s specific end goal here? To simply see whether or not the pilots can better synchronize with their Units without the presence of their usual plug-suits? 

While the exact answer is left incredibly vague and unanswered, I personally subscribe to a fan theory that I encountered online a while back (although I can’t remember where it originated from), but I believe that Ritsuko and NERV intend to utilize the data collected from each pilot’s unfiltered and decontaminated synch-ratios from this test as part of the dreaded Dummy-Plug system program in later episodes, since those specific Entry-Plugs are stated to perfectly imitate the thought-patterns of a pilot to trick an EVA-Unit to engage in an auto-pilot function even without the presence of an actual human pilot inside the plug.

Although... this theory does have some holes in it since it’s also later implied that NERV’s Dummy Plug system is specifically derived from the thought patterns of dozens of Rei clones (and that SEELE utilizes her counterpart Kaworu for the Dummy Plugs for the Mass-Production Evangelions in The End of Evangelion).

Also, I just realized something else! The fact that Shinji, Asuka & Rei are sitting inside of their Entry-Plugs naked (which is somewhat akin to a fetal position), and that the Entry-Plugs themselves are symbolically reflective of a mother’s womb due to the EVA-Units containing the souls of their dead mother’s (at least for Shinji & Asuka’s respective units…), and that the pilots are also submerged in Liquid LCL while inside of their Entry-Plugs, and LCL is the primordial soup that humanity was originally birthed from by the Seed of Life known as Lilith… 

Geez, this scene alone takes all of the pre-existing Freudian imagery that EVA is known for, and pumps it up on steroids!

Moving on from that though, we get more foreshadowing of the true nature of the MAGI when Ritsuko coldly remarks, “You can sure feel their creator’s original personality can you,” in response to the 3 supercomputers suddenly processing a mysterious dilemma.

In addition to Ritsuko officially confirming to Misato (and by extension, the audience) that her mother Naoko was the original inventor of the MAGI system, we also get to see the initial signs of cracks beginning to form in Misato & Ritsuko’s friendship. Despite Misato’s high-ranking status as a NERV military officer and her promotion to Major in the last episode, it is evident that Misato is still in the dark concerning NERV’s more intimate secrets. While Ritsuko is willing to chastize Misato’s ignorance regarding the MAGI system due to the former’s personal connections with the classified hardware, Misato will grow increasingly distrustful of the other secrets Ritsuko is guarding for Gendo and will be inspired by her lover Kaji to try and unravel the conspiracy behind NERV.

Also, Misato’s annoyed retort, “That’s because unlike me, you never talk about yourself Ritsuko,” feels intentionally hypocritical on Anno’s part since Misato frequently attempts to hide specific aspects of her personality from others like Shinji due to her internal Hedgehog’s Dilemma. Although this exchange does convey that in contrast to Misato’s more emotionally extroverted persona, Ritsuko’s personality is more introverted, presenting herself more coldly and rationally due to her nature as a scientist.

I love the early ominous visual representations of the “dilemma” that the MAGI is responding to. First in the form of a visual graph up in Central Dogma’s mainframe, which Aoba & Fuyutsuki describe as “corrosion of the 87th protein wall” that they attribute to recently-installed parts to the system, as well as what appears to be a purple acidic burn-mark on the walls of one of NERV HQ’s tunnels.

Not only does this help provide initial intrigue and suspense for the viewer concerning this mysterious “dilemma,” but Fuyutsuki & Aoba’s dialogue debating the potential causes of the system error in highly-detailed technological detail reminds me of why I’ve always nicknamed this, “the Techno-Babble episode” of NGE! 

Trust me when I say, there is going to be so much techno-babble in this episode alone that it would make Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation blush!

Also… that corrosion is creepy as all heck!

Lol! Both Ritsuko & Fuyutsuki make the exact same comment, “Ikari would chew my ass off,” in response to letting the corrosion interfere with their synchronization test! It’s like the old saying goes: “Two great minds truly think alike!”

Wait a minute… so the pilot’s EVA-Units are in their usual holding cages during this test? Then what exactly is that fleshy unarmored EVA-arm submerged in water and connected to half-a-dozen wires outside the window of Ritsuko’s control room supposed to be? Is it part of Rei’s EVA Unit-00 but on the opposite side of the wall-locks, or something else entirely? Either way, the fact that Ritsuko tells specifically Rei to move her arm in conjunction with that submerged severed arm does seem to suggest my earlier theory that this test is actually somehow connected to the Dummy Plug system…

Oh crap! Glowing red sparks appearing on the purple corrosive wall stain as soon as Rei synchronizes with the submerged EVA arm! Definitely not unusual and foreboding in the slightest! Not at all!

I’ve gotta say, I’m really enjoying the nice change of pace this episode takes in regards to its action scenes and building suspense! Instead of the usual strategic planning and bombastic Mecha vs. Kaju fights, Episode 13 takes full advantage of its focus on computer science by having Ritsuko utilize her technological expertise to try and quickly quarantine and prevent the spread of the corrosion of the 87th protein wall into the testing chambers. 

Despite initially seeming inherently less exciting on the surface, from a cinematography and editing perspective the flow of action in this scene feels incredibly intense and suspenseful due to the fast pace and quick cuts between the various computer screen alerts & graphs, Ritsuko’s technical commands, and the closing of doors & pipes to prevent the spreading of the corrosion! Anno & GAINAX certainly know how to make even the seemingly mundane incredibly captivating from an action standpoint! That takes incredible talent!

Also, I don’t know why but I FREAKING love the design of those water drones that Ritsuko deploys into the testing pool! 

Oh, I see now! The pilot’s Entry-Plugs are actually connected to 3 full-flesh unarmored EVA bodies inside the testing pool! I just couldn’t tell at first due to the previous camera angles of the pool framing the scene from outside the control room window, which combined with the darkly lit underwater conditions helped obscure the other two EVA-bodies! Also, the fact that the heads are missing and are replaced with wires (which I’m assuming are connected to each pilot’s main respective units…), aided in my confusion in thinking that these were just arms. 

My mistake! Lol!

But being serious again, all that tension built up with Ritsuko’s technical commands & counters comes to a roaring head as the mysterious corrosion finally reaches the testing pool and causes the arm of Rei’s EVA-body to move against its will and try and breach the window of the control room (mirroring the flashback EVA Unit-00’s failed test in Episode 5)!

Holy FREAKING Crap! Even though Ritsuko & Misato fortunately had the arm of Rei’s EVA severed before it could break the glass and forcibly ejected the pilot’s Entry-Plugs out of the pool, the worst possible case scenario is confirmed when the drones fire their lasers at the mysterious corrosive force, only for said force to suddenly repel their attacks with an AT Field! That’s right, NERV HQ has just been infiltrated by the 11th Angel, Ireul!

Out of all the Angels presented in the series so far, Ireul is easily one of the most distinctively unique due to its lack of a consistent physical form, being primarily represented in the form of either a corrosive substance on the wall or as a pixilated glow on the test EVA’s.

Speaking of which, dang is the animation of Ireul infecting and possessing the arm of one of the other test EVAs so FREAKING cool! It has this unique red-digitized effect to it! I can’t even begin to imagine how tricky it must have been for GAINAX to animate the hand-drawn frames for the Ireul infection scenes! I sincerely hope that they were paid well for their work…

Also, regarding this specific Angel’s name, according to Wikipedia, “Iruel (イロウル, Irouru), also known as Yroul, Yrouel and Ireul, [is referred to] n religious texts as the angel of fear.” In addition to Episode 13’s primary scriptwriter, Mitsuo Iso, stating that the primary inspiration for Ireul’s abstract design was to showcase “a battle against an invisible enemy,” the historical theological interpretations of Ireul as the “Angel of Terror” were noted by ThingsAnime blog writer Will Raus in his article Neon Genesis — An Angelic Vision, who stated that, “the episode featuring Ireul is marked by panic from the lab techs that operate the MAGI.”

I’m curious as to what exactly was going through Ritsuko’s head as she just coldly stared at Ireul breaking the glass while the rest of the staff fled the control room. Was she merely so distracted by her scientific curiosity that she completely neglected her own safety? Or is this indicative of Ritsuko having suicidal ideation?

Knowing what I know occurs later in Episode 23, I have a strong feeling it’s the latter option, especially since Misato is similarly the one here to try and snap out of her trance before Ireul can flood the room.

The sheer amount of scenes that directly mirror each other in regards to subtle details in animation & character framing that I’m noticing upon rewatch is honestly FREAKING phenomenal! Anno certainly took a page from George Lucas’ playbook as a director!

Oh boy, we’re getting some more foreshadowing to the conflict between Gendo & SEELE since immediately after getting off the phone with another “Sound-Only” screen, he orders the rest of the staff to lie about the presence of an Angel inside of NERV HQ being just “an error in the alarm system.”

Lol! It looks like the computer diagrams confirmed my fan theory regarding the purpose of the harmonics test, since the 3 EVA bodies inside of the pool, or “Pribnow Box” are labeled as “Dummy 1-3!”

Oh crap! More foreshadowing in the form of Fuytsuki & Gendo whispering to each other that Ireul’s contamination of the systems is spreading “too close to Adam.”

Double crap! Even more foreshadowing in the form of Gendo prioritizing the safety of Unit-01 above that of Units 00 & 02 when ordering them to be launched without the pilots to prevent them from being infected by Ireul!

Triple crap! The foreshadowing just keeps on going as we now see Kaji randomly exiting an elevator inside of the tunnel to Central Dogma directly below Ireul’s contamination zone! Continuing to play the double/triple agent game I’m guessing! 

Leave it to Fuyutsuki to ask the million-dollar question on everyone’s mind: “How exactly can you fight an Angel without an Evangelion?”

Man do I love just how unapologetically science-oriented and techno-babble-heavy this particular episode of EVA is! It’s honestly pretty cool watching Ritsuko and the rest of the NERV staff’s attempts to try and counter Ireul’s spread by increasing the ozone levels in the heavy water boundary of the testing pool, only for Ireul to rapidly adapt and increase its resistance to ozone before evolving into an organic electronic life form capable of hacking its presence into NERV’s computer files to infiltrate the MAGI system!

While a lot of the technical and computer programming terms completely fly over my head and are borderline gibberish to me, the scene itself is so tightly edited and quickly paced that it’s NEVER boring and the natural flow of dialogue makes the increasing threat of the Angel clear to the viewer even if they’re not computer scientists themselves! That takes a lot of skill from a writing & and directing standpoint!

Also, Shiro Sagisu’s soundtrack further elevates the tension in this scene in near-perfect symbiosis with the editing and dialogue! The sequence of musical scores from “The Day Tokyo-3 Stood Still,” to “Harbinger of Tragedy,” to “The Beast” really serve to gradually increase the suspense and fear derived from this scene, even though all we’re doing is basically looking at computer screens & graphs & listening to techno-babble! I love it!

Also also, Ritsuko provides the first direct indication of the Angel’s ability to repeatedly evolve and adapt to its surroundings to actively counter NERV’s defenses to try and reach “Adam” in Terminal Dogma! While the Angel’s environmental adaptation capabilities were already established with Sandalphon from Episode 10 being born in the heart of a magma chamber, here we get our first glimpse of the Angel’s evolving intelligence as Ireul learns how to hack the MAGI system to utilize NERV’s own supercomputers as a weapon against them! 

The sheer speed at which Ireul completely infects Melchior which it then utilizes to try and hack into Balthasar next before Ritsuko enters a fail-safe code-sequence to halt the Angel’s spread for 2-hours next is legitimately FREAKING terrifying!

Fuyutsuki’s words, “The MAGI have become our enemy,” are even made more disturbing by the panning shot showing the 3 giant red boxes that serve the supercomputer mainframe directly below Central Dogma’s main command deck, emphasizing that the Angel is directly under NERV’s feet. 

As Kakashi once famously told Sasuke during the survival exercise in Naruto, an attack from below is the most dangerous since it’s the least expected!

Also, the way Ritsuko describes Ireul as having evolved into a nano-machine-esque living computer virus, now all I can think of is the Ms. Marvel villain Doc.X, who’s also a sentient computer virus!

I love how Ritsuko immediately and harshly rejects Misato’s recommendation to Gendo that they self-destruct the MAGI system to destroy Ireul. 

While Ritsuko justifies this by countering to Misato that “destroying the MAGI means destroying headquarters itself,” it’s clear that Ritsuko is desperately trying to preserve some piece of her mother’s legacy, still desperately struggling to understand the individual who prioritized her roles as a scientist & a woman over her role as a mother.

I am totally NOT foreshadowing anything with my specific word choice of “scientist, woman & mother!” NOT at all! Lol!

The transition from Misato’s exasperated anger towards Ritsuko’s stubbornness to calm yet confused questioning of the latter’s refusal to “share the responsibility” or “trust someone else” is honestly quite profound. You truly get the sense that Misato is desperately trying to understand her friend’s inability to rely on the assistance of others. It effectively illustrates Misato’s self-awareness concerning the Hedgehog’s Dilemma, as she’s able to recognize and wants to help others who are struggling from a similar place as herself. Whether it be Shinji and now Ritsuko. 

Also, I can’t help but appreciate the irony of the fact that Ritsuko was the one who first informed Misato of the Hedgehog’s Dilemma back in Episode 3, but is now clearly shown to be struggling with her own version of said dilemma as she’s emotionally closing herself off from others in a misguided effort to connect with her dead mother, just like Misato does with her dead father.

Despite their contrasting personalities, Misato & Ritsuko truly are very similar to each other. It’s no wonder the two formed such a close friendship. This makes the gradual deterioration of their trust in each other as the series all the more tragic…

Alright, we finally get a run-down of Ritsuko’s plan to defeat Ireul! Essentially, Ritsuko intends to utilize the Angel’s evolutionary survival mechanisms against itself by reprogramming the final remaining MAGI supercomputer, Casper, with a program designed to regress Ireul’s evolution and force it to self-destruct within the system.

Just like all of the previous strategies portrayed so far in EVA, there are considerable risks involved since not only can Ireul be exposed to said program by intentionally deactivating the firewalls preventing it from hacking into Casper, but Ritsuko needs to introduce her counter-program into Casper’s mainframe much faster than it will take the Angel to fully infect the system. And once again, I think this strategy is FREAKING brilliant due to how insane and risky it is!

It is also worth noting that Ritsuko’s plan to introduce a counter program into the MAGI that will force the Angelic computer virus to delete itself is heavily reminiscent of the scientific phenomenon known as Apoptosis, which Susan Elmore of the National Library of Medicine refers to as, “the process of programmed cell death, or apoptosis, is generally characterized by distinct morphological characteristics and energy-dependent biochemical mechanisms.”

You can certainly tell that Anno & crew engaged in a lot of scientific research for this specific episode!

Also, I can’t help but notice the fact that it is the Casper supercomputer that is the one that will inevitably result in Ireul’s self-destruction. I’m skipping ahead a little, but it will later be revealed at the end of the episode that Naoko designed each of the MAGI supercomputers to embody the three main aspects of her identity, those being herself as a scientist, a mother, and a woman respectively. Furthermore, it will later be revealed that Naoko was not only having an affair with Gendo which led to her committing (which her daughter is also now engaging in), but that Casper is the supercomputer which specifically reflects Naoko’s identity as a woman, or more accurately a lover.

So basically, Ritsuko is channeling both her mother and her own self-destructive sexual characteristics to kill the 11th Angel. 

Honestly, this feels incredibly reminiscent of one of the core themes that will become increasingly apparent as the series progresses: the Freudian dichotomy between sex & death.

Dang! I love the physical design of the MAGI mainframes, which similar to the Evangelions are a hybrid of mechanical & organic components. Not only do all the wires and pipes appear to have a blood-like red texture to them, but they’re arranged in a pattern that is heavily reminiscent of a brain. An association that is made even more visibly apparent through the central core of Casper being what appears to be literal brain matter and tissue!

Given that Naoko transferred pieces of her consciousness into the MAGI, combined with the future twist of Rei being a clone of Shinji’s mother Yui Ikari, I feel like this is heavily implying that Naoko cloned her own brain matter to make these computers operate. If so, that’s honestly kinda disturbing…

Lol! Not only do we get more hints of Maya’s romantic attraction towards Ritsuko through her fan-girl reactions to the hundreds of the original developer’s notes taped all across the interior walls of Casper, but we also see the kanji, “Ikari, you jerk,”angrily scribbled across one of the pipes!

I’m not sure if it was Naoko or Ritsuko who wrote that specific note, but either way, I’m all for insulting that bastard Gendo!

I love the little bit of Ritsuko smiling, “Thanks Mom, with your help we can make it,” as she begins crawling into Casper’s interiors. It implies that she seemingly does care about & and misses Naoko, however much she tries to deny it…

Also, the imagery of Ritsuko crawling inside of the computer that’s essentially her mother is once again incredibly Freudian, reflective of how the EVA-pilot’s Entry-Plugs metaphorically represent a return to the womb. Or in Ritsuko’s case with the MAGI, a return to the brain?

Aww… Misato can’t help but reminisce on her and Ritsuko’s college days together… 

I am curious though as to what specific memories mirrored their current situation of doing engineering and programming work inside of a tightly cramped space…

Interesting! Not only does Ritsuko disclose to Misato that the MAGI utilized a personality transplant system that transferred Naoko’s consciousness into the system, but that the exact same transference system was utilized for the Evangelions, once again foreshadowing that the souls of Shinji & Asuka’s dead mothers inhabit their respective EVA Units!

Also, it’s here that Ritsuko truly reveals her complicated feelings towards her mother. When Misato questions whether   Ritsuko’s desire to protect the MAGI is motivated by love for her mother, Ritsuko instead states that in actuality she “never really liked [her] mother,” and that “[her] decision was that of a scientist.” 

Does this imply that Ritsuko’s efforts to try and understand her late mother, whether it be through maintaining & protecting the MAGI or sleeping with Gendo (again… EWWW!!!), are motivated solely by scientific personality? That Ritsuko is actively attempting to reject the womanly side of her mother in favor of the scientific side? Or is Ritsuko lying to herself and there’s a part of her that secretly does love her mother like Misato suggested?

This kind of multifaceted and nuanced character-writing is a major aspect of why I love Evangelion so much! Nearly all of its characters are such fascinating and human messes of psychological contradictions that you can’t help but become invested in their personal struggles! 

Wow! The actual initiation of Ritsuko’s counter program is once again FREAKING intense! Not only does Ireul manage to quickly hack into Casper once the firewall is lifted, but in what has got to be the most prolonged single second in the history of fictional media, Ritsuko & Maya manage to enter final code-sequences and command keys necessary just in time before the Angel can infiltrate what is quite literally the last single tiny block of uninfected data on Casper’s diagram!

And as soon as Ritsuko engages the counter-program, the tension is finally alleviated as that tiny blue square of uninfected data quickly spreads out and consumes the corrupted red data blocks across all 3 MAGI supercomputers, indicating the Angel’s rapid demise!

Like… dang! I’m honestly impressed by just how suspenseful Anno & GAINAX managed to make this back-&-forth computer-hacking battle against the Angel, especially since this more down-to-Earth tone deviates so heavily from the series’ usual formula of epic and otherworldly giant-kaju battles! It just goes to show how EVA can so efficiently balance various genres and tones into a cohesive whole. 

Additionally, it was also a nice change of pace to witness a character outside of the main trio of EVA pilots be directly involved in the defeat of an Angel, while also utilizing said battle to heavily flesh out Ritsuko’s character similar to the previous episode’s heavy emphasis on Misato’s character development!

Speaking of the EVA pilots though, I couldn’t help but chuckle when we cut back to Shinji, Asuka & Rei STILL inside of their Entry-Plugs after all this time! 

Not only is it hilarious knowing that the trio are completely oblivious to Ireul’s infiltration and Ritsuko single-handedly defeating it, but I can’t help but sympathize with Asuka’s embarrassment and irritation since they spent all that time undressed inside of their Entry-Plugs floating alone in the GeoFront lake without any access to outside communication! That’s gotta super suck!

Lol! Ritsuko’s tired but relaxed line, “I must be getting old. These all-nighters are really rough,” is such a clever bookend! While the episode began with Ritsuko’s exhaustion regarding her mid-life crisis and anxiety of being solely defined by her mother’s shadow, she now can’t help but feel content in the fact that she protected Naoko’s legacy from being annihilated, staying true to her promise despite her complicated feelings towards her mother. 

Also, it’s here that Ritsuko reveals the MAGI’s true nature to Misato as the dichotomy between Naoko’s respective identities as a mother, scientist, and woman. What I can’t help but find fascinating though is that according to Ritsuko, “Those three aspects are struggling for dominance within the MAGI. She intentionally implanted the dilemma to imitate the human experience.”

Honestly, that kind of blending between humanity & machinery makes for an incredibly fascinating concept, since it subverts the emotionless rationality that usually defines A.I. in science fiction media, instead exploring the possibilities of how a machine would function with more human characteristics. 

And the episode concludes with some further insight into Ritsuko’s relationship with the late Naoko, clarifying that while she respects her mother as a scientist, she struggles to understand her as a mother while hating the side of her that is a woman. That latter comment in particular does make me wonder if the reason she’s sexually involved with Gendo is because she wants to spite that aspect of her mother instead of merely trying to misguidedly understand it. Or maybe it’s a little bit of both…

Either way, it truly does feel like Ritsuko embodies a mixture of the Oedipus complex which characterizes Shinji, and the Electra complex which characterizes Misato, which I honestly find to be incredibly intriguing…

Also, one last piece of foreshadowing in the form of Ritsuko’s ominous statement that it was the woman aspect of Naoko’s personality that she stayed true to to the very end!

So that was NGE, “Episode 13: Angel Invasion/LILLIPUTIAN HITCHER,” and overall it was another incredibly solid entry to the series! For as much as I snarkily joked about the heavy emphasis on the techno-babble aspect in this particular episode, I was legitimately impressed by the immense levels of tension & suspense Anno and crew were able to generate through a non-traditional Angel battle in what essentially boiled down to a computer hacking contest, as well as the specific focus on Ritsuko’s character and fleshing out her strained relationship with her late mother Naoko. Furthermore, I was not expecting the large quantity of subtle foreshadowing to future twists and revelations across the series in just this one episode, including but not limited to Ritsuko & Naoko’s dommed relationships with Gendo Ikari, the Dummy Plug systems, the presence of human souls inside of the EVAs, and Gendo’s conflict with SEELE. It highlights just how tightly written and cleverly interconnected Evangelion’s narrative and characters are, despite some behind-the-scenes issues that fundamentally altered the thematic and tonal trajectory of the series as a whole. 

But that’s stuff I’ll begin delving into next time in my discussion of Episode 14, which will likely be less lengthy compared to my other posts in this marathon concerning the actual content of the episode itself due to its first half essentially being a clip-show (albeit, a rather creative clip-show)… although I will use it as an opportunity to delve into a lot of the behind-the-scenes trivia and drama surrounding the production of the original Neon Genesis Evangelion anime! It should be an interesting discussion at the very least! 

#Evangelion: You Can (Not) Marathon #neon genesis evangelion #evangelion #nge #eva #hideaki anno #ritsuko akagi #maya ibuki #misato katsuragi #shinji ikari #asuka langley soryu #rei ayamani #gendo ikari #fuyutsuki #ryoji kaji #90s anime #anime and manga #NERV #studio gainax #ireul #the dark knight rises #bane #sasuke uchiha #kakashi hatake #george lucas #naruto #star trek the next generation #data #techno-babble #ms marvel kamala khan

[storiesofsvu]

A Redemption Earned Ch 20

Heather Dunbar x reader Warnings: some very minor hurt/comfort. heavy on the comfort. Also I'm no longer going to be tagging the language/alcohol or weed shit cause it's all very minor. I WILL tag them if it's excessive or negative situations come out of them though, no worries. Also besties, how are we feeling about the pacing of these updates? Too slow? Too fast? do you find you're having enough time to read it before i post the next one? Obvi sometimes it's out of my control if i don't have it written, i can't post it, but I can alter it a little bit. LMK.

The first four days following new year’s were exactly what you needed, although you would’ve preferred Heather to be there too, you understood her need to work. You spent most of it in bed, taking advantage of the plush bedding to snooze your way through multiple marathons of movies and shows. You indulged in a lot of room service, treated yourself to a nice massage and took advantage of the jacuzzi soaker tub in the suite. It was exactly what you needed to unwind before going back to work yourself.

You checked out a day early, notifying Heather you were doing so, and headed back home. School started again on the sixth and you wanted to make sure you had everything in order, and that your house wasn’t a mess from the pre Christmas vacation days. You spent the majority of the day separating your stuff into your work bag, and that you had everything you wanted for Cody’s welcome package. You did a few loads of laundry, some tidying around the house and started to dismantle the Christmas decorations. You sent a couple of texts off to Heather that her responses were rather short handed, but it was day time, you figured she was at the office, so you let her work in peace.

*

On the other side of Rock Creek Park, Heather was in fact actually gearing up to go back to work herself, even if she wasn’t actually working on an open case. She was simply trying to distract herself from the thoughts floating through her head, trying to focus on the conversation with Rob. She’d ended up sticking around for dinner at his place that night, talking things out at a deeper and simpler level. He walked her through it, helped her understand her own thoughts a little bit more than she was able to on her own. They even spent a bit of time talking about their own past and history, Rob reminding her that he accepted her apology, and had forgiven her for the mistakes that ended their marriage. Now, they were friends and parents, and he assured her they were doing a good job at that.

Even after the talk with Rob she still called her therapist and made an emergency appointment, grumbling slightly when all they had available was six thirty in the evening on the fifth. She made a specific point to stay away from alcohol for the time being, she’d been over indulging over the holidays anyways. Instead of just a glass of wine with dinner, it was a bottle and a half split with you, specialty cocktails at all the parties and who really knew how much champagne on New Year’s Eve. She refocussed her energy, cleaning out her home office, hit up the gym a couple of times and even bundled up to take a couple of walks with Rob and Steve in the mornings.

She was pleasantly surprised when Becca showed up on her doorstep with apology cupcakes and an actual apology for being so riled up at Christmas. Heather didn’t lecture, just accepted the apology and made sure Becca knew she was forgiven. She ended up staying for dinner that night and truly enjoyed spending some one on one time with her mom, it was what she needed right now. A little break from her overcrowded house and a person who had enough life experience to talk her through things. It was an added bonus for Heather to be the one giving the advice, finally feeling like she was back in control for once, that she had things handled. Becca left that night with a couple of good real estate listings, the card for Heather’s realtor, and the promise that her mom would help the girls look for a bigger place if they wanted.

**

The fifth rolled around and you got out of bed far too early, trying to re work your sleep schedule for going back to school. You had your breakfast and far more important coffee before heading to the gym to try and keep yourself awake. After a nice hot shower you got dressed and headed down to the school, letting yourself in to your classroom. Aside from taking down Christmas decorations at home you wanted to get things bright and exciting for the rest of the year in here too. You swapped out Christmas trees and snowmen for bright colours, a few picture collages of students, their little self biographies they’d done just before the holiday. You laid out booklets with a little treat on each desk, making sure yours was stocked with everything you needed before heading home.

You couldn’t lie, you were exhausted already, and the urge to have a nap won over anything else that afternoon. When you woke up you realized you’d kind of snacked your way though the day after breakfast and your stomach was already growling. You had some stuff prepped already, but it was for the week ahead, for lunches so you wouldn’t waste money, and dinners pre portioned out so all you had to do was reheat at the end of the day. You didn’t want to dig into those, and the last thing you wanted to do was cook right now so you opened your phone and flicked through a couple of delivery apps trying to decide on something.

Halfway through ordering you realized what day of the week it was and you quickly checked the TV guide for reference. It was the night that Heather would normally show up at your place, you’d discovered you were both more than obsessed with a certain medical drama, a way to laugh at the ridiculousness and distract you from real life for a bit. You hadn’t missed a night of it airing yet, so you doubled the order you put in for delivery, sighing when it said it was going to take over an hour. You padded back into the kitchen and found some leftover Christmas baking to tide you over until then, pulling out your phone as you did so.

‘I’ve ordered far too many dumplings for tonight; I hope you can manage a break from work.’

You didn’t expect a reply right away, but you also didn’t expect to be met with radio silence. You let out a huff, thinking back to New Year’s Eve, wondering if something went wrong that night causing her to pull away. You couldn’t, but it still left a weight in your gut that maybe you’d said or done something to freak her out. If you hadn’t already ordered the delivery you would’ve picked it up on the way over to her place instead, but you were stuck here for the time being.

Seven rolled around and you still hadn’t heard anything back from Heather, the show was starting and the dumplings were plated up and ready to go. So you let out a small sigh, filling up a glass of wine and tucking yourself into the couch, hoping that she’d pop up through your door any minute.

‘Everything alright? Or are you just this buried in work?’

You didn’t want to blow up her phone so you tossed yours aside and focussed on dinner and the show instead.

Full to the brim you packed up the leftover food during a commercial break, noticing the stove clock you realized it had been a full forty-five minutes, the show was almost over. Your curiosity got the best of you and you wandered back into the living room and picked up your phone. Still nothing. Frowning, you opened the text conversation, making sure the messages had actually been delivered. They were, so you shot off one last one.

‘Heat…are we good? Cause I’ve barely spoken to you since New Year’s and you’re kinda freaking me out right now…’

If she really was too busy or focussed to return your text, you weren’t going to bother with a phone call interrupting her right now. Instead, you dropped down onto the couch with a frown on your face, picking up your wine glass to watch the last ten minutes of your show. The worry was starting to creep through you, wondering if you were in the process of being ghosted after all the work both of you had put into your relationship. You were starting to worry that during one of your tipsier moments over the holiday your true feelings and emotions had slipped out and you’d managed to forget it, that the thought of those words freaked her out. Maybe you’d said something in your sleep? And that’s why she’d actually left the hotel. You had to admit, those thoughts hurt, and you’d always expected better of someone like Heather.

**

Heather got home far later than she’d wanted to that evening, flipping through her mail as she pressed play on the flashing answering machine of her home phone. It wasn’t anything crucial, just Rob seeing if she was free for a family dinner on Sunday, that he couldn’t get a hold of her on her cell. She dug through her purse, realizing she’d turned the device off when she left the office and hadn’t turned it back on after her session. She shot off a quick text to him and scrolled through the rest of her notifications, her heart nearly dropping into her stomach at the messages from you. Without even thinking she immediately turned around and was back out the door in a matter of seconds.

**

Across the park, you were doing the last bit of tidying up, making sure you had lunch portioned out for tomorrow, ready in the fridge. Your dirty dishes made their way into the dishwasher, and you flicked off the light in the kitchen, traipsing through to the living room and repeating the motion in there. You were two steps up the stairs when there was a knock echoing from the front door behind you, you paused, turning back to it, knowing that there was a ninety nine percent chance you knew who was on the other side of it. You hopped down the stairs and padded over to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open.

“I am so sorry.” Heather instantly apologized, “I booked a last minute therapy session and tonight was all they had open, I turned my phone off for it and forgot to turn it back on. I never meant to make you worry.” You could see the slight panic in her eyes, the way she was hovering in the doorway, usure if you would want her to actually come in or not.

“Oh…” you let out a breath, “no, it’s okay, I just… you never miss a night of sexy doctors.” You stepped back, letting her in and the door swung shut behind her. A very quick greeting of a chaste kiss was had, and Heather barely had time to take a breath before she launched into it, she didn’t want to keep secrets from you anymore.

“I lied to you…” Your head shot up, surprise on your face and your crossed your arms over your chest.

“About what?”

“I didn’t have a client, there was no work call on new year’s. I’ve barely even been in the office at all this week.”

“Okay…” Your brow furrowed, almost more confused than before, you leant against the wall, waiting for Heather to explain herself.

“I panicked. When things got kinkier, it felt like I was slipping, regressing, that I was going to come out of there the Heather that I used to be. And that really scared me because the absolute last thing in the world I ever want is for you to have to experience that. You’re too kind, too caring, and absolutely perfect and you never deserve to be treated like that.” Her hand reached out, caressing at your cheek and you leant into it with a gentle hum, “and then I realized that by leaving, by lying, I was probably still hurting you. I was so caught up with making sure I wasn’t slipping that I couldn’t figure out what the lingering feeling in my chest was, I was sitting there thinking it was guilt, or some other bullshit, then Rob helped me realize that I’d forgotten what real love actually feels like.” Your gaze shot up to hers at that, your heart leaping into your throat.

“Is… this your convoluted way of telling me you love me?”

“I…” Heather let out a slightly awkward laugh, “yes. I guess it is.” Her hand squeezed at yours, “I love you. And I know that I’m…complicated, and difficult, and it took one hell of a hard road to get here, and that I can be a stubborn pain in the ass some days”—

“Being a stubborn pain in my ass doesn’t mean I don’t love you too.” You cut her off and it was her turn to be surprised, her eyes widening as she took in the warm smile on your cheeks.

“Really?” She nearly shrunk as she asked and you tried not to frown.

“Yes.” You stepped toward her, pressing a reassuring kiss to her lips, “I love you. Your past may be complicated, but you are not hard to love Heather. In fact, you’re incredibly easy to love, and if you don’t believe that, then I’m just going to have to remind you every single day. I knew I was head over heels, I just wanted to wait for you to catch up before I said anything. I know you’re not always the greatest with words, but you still express yourself in many other ways, even if your thoughts are all tangled up in that pretty head of yours.”

“You are… everything I ever could have asked for.” She replied with a smile, leaning in to kiss you once again, “I don’t know what I was so confused about, I mean, time stands still when I’m with you.”

“You’re too sweet.” You stole a quick kiss before your hands slid from her shoulders down her arms to squeeze at her hands, “and we can talk about the kinky stuff, figure out some boundaries, I mean, if you don’t like it, we can drop the mommy thing.”

“Oh, oh no.” Heather chuckled, her hand coming to pinch gently at your chin, “I like that part very much.”

“I make sure to remember that then.” You grinned, linking your hand in hers, “I was about to head upstairs, I do have to be up early for work, but you’re always welcome to stay.”

“I believe I saw something about dumplings. I’m just now realizing I skipped dinner.”

“Yeah.” You let out a small laugh, “got more than enough time for a couple episodes before I need to sleep.” You pressed a kiss to her cheek, “c’mon.”

The light in the living room got flicked back on, you offered Heather a glass of wine and reheated a plate for her. Nestled into her side you let out a happy sigh, body melting into hers and she laid a tender kiss on the top of your head. After everything, you knew that this was exactly where you wanted to be, and Heather knew it too. Nothing else mattered as long as you had each other, the past couldn’t be fought, just explored, and you were both far more interested in what your future had in store.

__________________

@ms-calhoun @naturalxselection @yesterdaysgone @hbkpop @giftedchildturns40 @anya-casablanca @svulife-rl  @swimmingstudentchaos891 @alexusonfire @jamiethetrans @natasha-danvers @oliviaswifey @mysticfalls01 @cmmndrwidw @bumblebear30 @svushots @yourtaletotelll @cerberus-spectre @emskisworld @ex-uallyactive @addictedtodinosaurs @imaginaryoperagloves @multifandomlesbianic @annegilletteslostwh0r3 @bookpillows @drduckthief @whimsicallymad @mmmmokdok @ladysc @momlifebehard @mmemalwa @holycrapraewth @poisonedcrowns @wannabe-fic-reader @when-wolves-howl @dead-of-niight @fighterkimburgess @lannister-slings-and-arrows @borg-queer @godard-muse  @itisdoctortoyousir @brooklynmhm @nobody-important1212 @emilyprentiss4life

#heather dunbar #heather dunbar x reader #house of cards #heather dunbar series #a redemption earned

[queendeeshorrorimagines]

Hello! I would like a slasher match up, please <3

First of, I am 5'7, ISFP, a pisces, my favorite color is red, I am curvy and I have shoulder length, red dyed hair. I have grey-blue eyes, wear glasses because I'm pretty much blind without them and I have a very small beautymark under my left eye. I also have many stretch marks which I'm not embarassed of. My makeup and clothes take a lot of inspiration from alternative subcultures like goth and grunge.

As far as my personality is concerned, I try to be as generous, helpful and friendly as I can. I do my best to involve everyone in a conversation or activity and I yearn for close connections and bonds. I am very reactive, though. I cry and scream and get angry but always apologize if and when I hurt someone. Something less known about me is my lack of empathy. It's not that I don't care about people in my life, I just have a hard time feeling for them in even the worst of situations. I also don't really have any sensibility about death; I'm just not that affected. My love languages are physichal touch, acts of service and gift giving/receiving. I am a bit of a masochist and I don’t mind getting hurt, either through my own reckless actions or love bites from my partner. I need my partner to be able to express their affection, feelings and thoughts; I need someone assertive but still caring.

I enjoy drinking from time to time ( I once had a 30 minute drunk sobbing session cause I saw two cats, one dead and one alive, and on top of that I also remebered Laika, you know the dog that got sent to space), swimming and summer, painting and music. I paint a lot of abstract things and focus more on the feelings and colors I use, instead of the beauty of the piece. Another fun fact. I enjoy a lot of metal music, pop punk, darkwave (some of my favorite bands are System Of a Down, Nice ice kills, Skillet, Vandal Moon, Children on Stun and don't tell anyone but I have a soft spot for Alec Benjamin)

Some of my favorite things are my spiked bracelet, my dark red nail polish and parties. I would say I'm an extrovert. If I could, I would always be out with someone doing something, although I would also like to enjoy my personal space often. I like amusement parks, water parks, the forest, the beach...basically anywhere where I can have fun.

I absolutely love horror. Horror manga like Junji Ito, horror movies or stories; they are all my favorites. My favorite book and movies are Frankenstein and Scream 1996 and Hush 2016. Manga and books don't scare me a lot but movies creep me out, I love them even though I'm scared to watch them alone. My ideal date would be a horror movie marathon with lots of scares so I can hold on to my partner. On the topic of horror, I have a pretty embarassing but totally reasonable fear of zombies. I have nightmares often and I swear my fear came from plants vs zombies.

I didn't mean for this to get so long ^^ Have a good one!

(Darlin, we all been there with the drunk crying sessions. One time, I was plastered and watched a Bob Ross painting video and cried tears of joy when he painted a tree friend for a tree.😅)

I ship you with.. Tiffany valentine!

Tiffany loves your alternative/ goth/punk style and how kind you are to people. She has a similar style, more on the gothic side. I can totally see her stealing your clothes to wear because of how comfortable they are. Just like you, she's also on the curvier side as also has stretch marks on her hips and thighs.

Tiffany tends to be on the sadistic side so once she finds out about your masochism, she's willing to give you all the love bites you want. The thing about Tiffany is that she expresses her feelings and love by touch/ words, and acts of service. If you want to go out and party, Tiffany will be down to going out with you. She loves your spiked jewelry and how your red nail polish makes your hands look nice.

Tiffany understands how you're not really empathetic in the sense of relating to people and their feelings. She feels the same way towards a lot of people except the people she's close to/ love.

Dates with Tiffany would be watching different types of horror movies that doesn't have any zombies in it and cuddling or doing each other's nails on her couch. Whenever you get scared, Tiffany is all for cuddling you up. Other date ideas would be going out to bars/ clubs and punk/ alternative band concerts. She isn't really familiar with newer bands but she's willing to listen to your favorite bands because Tiffany loves seeing you happy.

Other possibilities: Baby Firefly, Sex-head (rob zombies 31), Vincent Sinclair

#matchup 0014 #cats-or-devils-eyes ask #queendeeshorrorimagines

[sleepymarmot]

High Noon (1952)

[Watched on November 30th]

Recently, around Thanksgiving, I came across a post mentioning a certain critically acclaimed western that also might be the vilest, most racist movie I’ve ever had the misfortune to see. Someone commented with a similar sentiment, and mentioned High Noon as a better classic western. So it suddenly jumped to the top of my watchlist, and the short runtime made it suitable for my hurried last-minute viewing session on the last night of the month. I appreciated the coincidence of the protagonist trying to prepare for noon while I was trying (and failing) to finish the movie by midnight. For one of us, the deadline was more literal than the other.

I was enjoyably disoriented by the beginning of the movie: until about halfway thorough I didn’t know who I was supposed to root for. The focus on the three young cool cowboys during the opening titles naturally associates them with the sympathetic narrator of the song. Then we see an old marshal marrying a girl young enough to be his daughter — is this going to be a film about the law being unjust, rigid, and conservative, are the outlaws going to liberate the girl from an unequal marriage? Well, apparently not, this isn’t the way High Noon chose to be subversive.

At the end, I expected either the townspeople to be overwhelmed by their guilty conscience and come out in support of the marshal, outnumbering the outlaws — or for the marshal to make one final grand speech and be tragically shot down. Then I remembered this was made under the Hays Code. Still, I was somehow surprised when the western’s climactic scene was… a shootout in which the protagonist showcased the superiority of his skills and spirit. (He saves the horses! That’s what proves him to be a good guy, above everything else.) It took me way too long to realize that the song was not just literally about the events of the film, but “Do not forsake me, oh my darling” is the heart of both: the wife stands by her husband, and it’s the two of them against the world (both the outlaws and the town). I guess love is real after all!

“Accidental marathon”: both the previous film and this one happen in real time. I swear I didn’t arrange this!

Other notes:

Nice cinematography. I’m fond of the high contrast black and white.

Took me the entire opening sequence to remember why that one face felt so familiar. (It was Lee Van Cleef.)

So so so hard to tell which of these identical men in identical clothes is which.

Helen has the kind of face I’ve only seen on drawings and paintings before.

Both Helen and Amy have equally weird accents in different directions.

The women are pretty stereotypical but they’re real characters. Wow!

This somehow ended up being my first Grace Kelly movie, even though Rear Window was one of my top candidates for the next viewing.

Re: the fistfight in the stable: stop it guys you’re scaring the ho(rs)es

I was losing attention in the middle (no fault of the film, I just have a broken sleep schedule, which is why I was postponing my monthly movie in the first place), but the action sequence woke me right up.

Wikipedia: “Lee Van Cleef made his film debut in High Noon. Kramer first offered Van Cleef the Harvey Pell role, after seeing him in a touring production of Mister Roberts, on the condition that Van Cleef have his nose surgically altered to appear less menacing. Van Cleef refused and was cast instead as Colby, the only role of his career without a single line of dialog.” Outrageous!

#high noon #liveblogs and reviews #blah blah blah

[elbertoko]

#IFTTT #the sleepy head

[matthewbernard]

John Wick

I saw the John Wick quadrilogy over the weekend. They had been on my list, but I had not made time to see any of them prior to last Friday. I was kid free this past weekend and as I sat there Friday night trying to think of what I was going to do for the weekend, I decided to scroll through what was playing at the theater. I’m a Cinemark movie club member and I have some extra credits built up, so that’s always an option for an activity. John Wick Chapter 4 was one of the choices, of course, since it was opening weekend for the film.

That got me thinking; maybe this was finally the weekend I should watch these movies, and maybe on Sunday, I could go see it in the theater? No, that was probably too much of a commitment. I would try to watch the first three this weekend, and then that would give me the option to see the 4th one before it leaves theaters.

So that settled it and I cued up the first one for Friday evening’s entertainment, and entertaining it was, although also hard to watch at parts. I mean, if it wasn’t bad enough that they killed the puppy, it tugs even more at the heart when he comes to and you see that the dog has managed to drag itself across the floor to die next to him, or to comfort him as her last act. Either one is pretty heart breaking. Despite that, the movie overall was good and quite a ride really.

The next morning I was in bed and happened to text my brother about something. The idea of hanging out was floated and he suggested we see John Wick 4 in IMAX. I said, “That would be a great idea except I just saw the first one for the first time last night.

“Well get to watchin,” he replied. “The show starts at 5. I’ll get the tickets.”

So began my impromptu movie marathon and a day that started off pretty empty and suddenly filled up. John Wick 2, followed by John Wick 3 and lunch simultaneously. After that was a shower and then jumping in the car for the drive to Kalamazoo. All of the films were quite good, including the 4th installment, however, I am going to save any review of number 4 for the time being since it still has a spoiler ban in my opinion. Instead I’m going to focus my thoughts on the first three.

At its heart, this trilogy is about loss. John goes through a lot of it, and he isn’t really given the chance to grieve. Having experienced a lot of loss myself, I found this difficult to watch at times. It wasn’t so bad in the first one because he gets his revenge, and then at the end of the film he gets another dog. There is at least the beginning of a rise out of the valley of despair that he has found himself in. The movie also has a lot of kickass fights in it along with a taste of some super cool, super secret assassin world building. 

The second and the third movies have even more of this world building and each one pulls back the curtain a little more on this secret society that I found so fascinating from the first one. 

However, with every step into this world, we also have another loss that John has to endure. This time with no dips up from the valley. It’s just one loss after another and there is zero chance to grieve. Again, it has a lot of kickass stuff in it, and the action keeps it moving to the point where you hardly have time to wallow too much in your feelings. At the same time, I can’t help but yearn for some kind of relief for John. 

Admittedly this is all likely influenced by my own personal experiences, and not everyone will feel the way that I did while watching. Some might simply see some great action flicks, and the truth is, they are also those, so I can’t blame them. It’s just interesting how your trauma can have such an influence on how you see things. It becomes the lens from which we view the entire world.

[mack33salinas]

Younger Does Not Always Have To Be Better

Are you getting wrinkles just thinking about aging? Does it create great fear within you as you think of all that comes with it? Aging doesn't have to be a rough transition, and with these aging tips, you could find a smooth transition in the process of aging, making it as natural as it really is. If you worry about aging skin and wrinkles, stay away from the sun! Of course, we all like a little sun, but too much exposure can cause premature aging of the skin as well as increasing the risk of skin cancer. Tanning beds also pose the same risks, maybe even to a greater extent, as people tend to overuse them. For healthy aging, don't be afraid to be a bit of a nester. Find things that you absolutely love and put them all around you, whether it's flowers, friends, family, music, movies or any of a multitude of hobbies. When it comes down to it, your home is your place of comfort. Make it your own. Make it a place where you love to be. Releasing Supplements Reviews is going to make you feel great. Let yourself feel emotions. Laugh and cry but be sure to laugh more than you cry. If it takes a funny movie or a funny book to bring out the laughter, take the time to watch or read them. It is the body's natural way to feel good. Just because you are aging doesn't mean you should just sit back and take it easy. To maintain good health, you need to continue to be as active as you possibly can. Sure, you may not be able to go out and race in a marathon, but you still can incorporate some activity into you daily activities. It is suggested that you include at least 30 minutes of physical activity each day. Maybe you could take a 15-minute walk twice a day. Dust off that old bike and take a ride around the neighborhood. Eating fish is a great way to slow the aging process and stay young. A lot of new evidence is suggesting that beneficial elements, such as omega-3 fatty acids, are excellent for the skin. Even people who do not like fish can reap the benefits from it by taking a fish oil supplement. As you get older, keeping a good balance when walking is a common complaint. Oftentimes, some may resort to using a walker or cane to help them keep their footing. Studies had shown that instead of using the customary walker or cane, instead, use a pole. A pole will help strengthen the upper body as well as help the balance of the senior when they walk. Aging gracefully is everyone's goal in life. A great way to start on that path is adopt a healthy diet - and it's never too late to start. By eating five fruits and vegetables, at least three servings of whole grains, and drinking five to eight glasses of eight ounce water a day, you will be giving your body the proper nutrients it needs to begin the aging process gracefully. There are many easy ways to get fruits and vegetables too - have you tried juicing? Keep your mind active. "Use it or lose it" is one phrase that is true. Whether you do logic puzzles or learn a new language, keeping your brain working is an essential ingredient to life as an older person. Keep your mind occupied and it will keep working well for you. Pay special attention to your diet. As you get older, you need to pay attention to what you are eating much more carefully. A balanced diet is essential to keep as healthy and energized as possible. Try to eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables, and 3 servings of whole grains per day. Limit your fat intake to no more than 30 percent of your diet. Focus on complex carbohydrates, such as wild rice, whole wheat bread and oatmeal. Last but not least, drink plenty of water. Aging can give you a few things to think about, but you don't have to be blind to the real strategies to making age work for you. As you get older and experience the effects of aging, start putting tips like these to work for your better well-being and active future.

#Supplements Reviews

[ohlawsons]

me: my puppy is so stressed and out of sorts lately i wonder why :(

also me: *has been vibrating with stress and frustration and other Bad Emotions all week*

#got a shitty haircut today yall and it's just...........one thing too much yknow? #i just finished rereading the hobbit and want to reread lotr but No Focus!! #trying to marathon the movies instead but Also No Focus!! #(also sidenote: overall the hobbit movies are Good. they fucked up bad on a couple things but overall? good.) #(and despite the general Brain Fuckery of late i am as always grateful to be on this earth at the same time as lotr/the hobbit) #(which is dramatic af but it's true!!) #brooke rambles #the mental health saga continues #also: to sum up my mental state i did in fact begin sobbing after hearing 0.2 seconds of 'concerning hobbits'

[belphies-cuhm-sluht]

Can i request the Brothers with mc who is shy and likes to hide behind them when there scared.

Brothers With A Shy GN!MC (Headcanons)

Lucifer

He wanted to start taking you with him to his meetings with Lord Diavolo. You were important to him, just as Lord Diavolo was, and he liked having the two most important people in his life in the same room. Plus, having you there would help make him feel a little less stressed and way less overwhelmed by the way that Lord Diavolo acted.

Walking to the castle was one thing, his fingers slid between your own and holding your hand tightly. He could have just zapped the two of you to the castle, but he really enjoyed the calm, quiet walks he had with you. When the two of you got to the castle, he didn’t even realize at first that you were slowly inching your way further and further behind his back. Barbatos wasn’t exactly scary, he just gave off this… vibe… it was hard to put your finger on.

Once Lord Diavolo came out though, that’s when he noticed that his arm was now completely bent behind his back, as were you, and you were holding his hand so tightly, if you were any stronger you’d probably cut off the circulation in his fingers.

He held up his finger to Lord Diavolo, silently asking for a second so that he could talk to you in private, pulling you to the side and out of earshot of everyone else in the room. His smile was soft and warm as he listened to you, nodding slowly and thinking of ways that he could make this easier for you.

“If you’d like to go back to the house, I absolutely understand, dear. I wouldn’t mind keeping you on my lap though, if that would make you feel better. Whatever makes you comfortable, I’ll do it for you.”

Mammon

You were unsure whether he was capable of being shy. It would probably be strange for someone like him to feel that way. He was a model, he was in magazines, he had photoshoots lined up for the next year and a half. You never questioned whether he felt that way because he never gave you a reason to. He was outgoing, boisterous, and easily excitable.

His modeling gigs were a big thing for him, something that he wanted you to be a part of as well. Not in front of the camera obviously, well, unless you wanted to be in the pictures with him. The main reason he didn’t want you to be in the magazines with him though is because he didn’t want any other demons looking at you. Not that he’d ever have to worry about that.

He walked into the warehouse with you, the lights were bright and everything was… so much… It was a lot to take in. You didn’t know how he could possibly handle that at all, so much attention, it seemed scary. Showing you around wasn’t bad, but then he started introducing you to people and you couldn’t handle that. You slowly moved to stand behind Mammon, holding onto his shirt and trying to hide your face in his back. He turned around to look at you, kind of confused with the way you were acting. Your voice was low and timid as you explained and his eyes went soft as he started dragging you towards the exit.

“I didn’t know yer that shy, babe. I wouldn’ta pulled ya out here if I did. We’re goin’ back home, I didn’t need those pics anyway. Come on.”

Leviathan

If there was anyone as shy as you were, it was Levi. The guy hated leaving the house and being in public settings as much as you did, but when it came up that he was meeting with a couple of the demons that he played online with and he wanted you to come you almost choked on your water.

Of all the brothers, you never once expected that he’d be the one who wanted you to go out and be around people that you didn’t know at all, like, not even one little bit. You had heard him talk to these people so many times, but you didn’t know one thing about them, and now you were supposed to sit at a restaurant with like, five of them and stay the entire time? You were already slightly panicking just at the thought of it.

You were practically shaking as the both of you walked up to the restaurant, scooching further and further behind Levi until you couldn’t be seen by anyone in front of him, and hopefully by none of his friends either. He took a second to look around the restaurant, spotting his friends who all waved in his direction, and then he looked beside himself only to see that you weren’t there. Mini panic attack, but once he sees you behind him he lets out a sigh of relief, shoving his hands in his pockets while looking back and forth between you and the table full of his online friends.

He didn’t waste a minute, shaking his head to his friends before walking back out of the restaurant with you next to him instead of behind him.

“I didn’t want to be there either. We’ll order Akudonalds… marathon an anime, alright? Just the two of us. We’re never doing something like that again.”

Satan

Interacting with people was such a hassle, and he felt like he lost half of his IQ points whenever he had to even be around any other than you and certain brothers that he can actually tolerate. That’s why when Lucifer told him about some silly formal event at Lord Diavolos castle, he did everything, literally everything to try to get out of it.

Much to both of your disappointments, there was nothing either of you could do to not go. To Satan it sounded lame, and to you, it sounded absolutely awful. Having to get dressed up and be around a bunch of people, a bunch of demons who probably didn’t like you in the first place because you were a human. Nope, it sounded like a nightmare and you’d very much like to take a sick day and just not go.

The both of you walked into the castle, arm in arm. The main foyer was already packed with demons dressed in their finest, and even if they weren’t looking at you, it sure as hell felt like they were. It was hard to move behind Satan's back with the way your arms were connected, but that didn’t stop you from unhooking your arm and moving behind him anyway. You didn’t want to be looked at by anyone but him, and now he was definitely looking at you.

Explaining to him was easy, and while he obviously cared about how you felt right now, it was also a great excuse to get out of there.

“I promise, when we get back to the house, we’ll sit by the fire in the library, and I’ll read to you all the books you want me to. But first…thank you for this wonderful reason to not have to be here. Let’s go.”

Asmodeus

The two of you were polar opposites in the social department, and while most people would think that would be a problem, it was actually really nice. You balanced each other out, and he was always mindful of how you felt in social settings.

Taking walks with him wasn’t something that you could do often considering he was a high profile demon, basically celebrity status. On the very rare occasion that you could walk together down the streets of the Devildom, he and you took full advantage of it. You knew that you didn’t have a lot of time to enjoy it though, there would always be the one fan who would cause a scene, and then a mob of other demons would start running in your direction and he’d quickly have to get you home. It wasn’t all that bad, but it did become irritating and having that many people come at you at once was always a nightmare.

This walk was no different, and as soon as you saw the first demon, heard the first squeal, you shifted yourself to stand behind him, squeezing your eyes shut and waiting for it all to end. You felt his hand reach back to grab your own, comforting you as he dealt with the fans that had circled you.

He turned to you as soon as they were dispersed, smiling sweetly at you as he brushed his thumb across your cheek.

“Perhaps next time we’ll take a stroll through the garden instead. How does that sound, my love? Just the two of us, under the stars… I’ll pick your outfit and everything! We’ll both look beautiful!”

Beelzebub

Being the center of attention wasn’t a big deal to him, it neither made him happy or upset him. His ability to focus on something that was most important to him and completely ignore the world around him was a gift, one that you wished that you could obtain.

His favorite places were either being with you and Belphie, or being at the gym, and he came up with the sweetest idea that instead of having his two favorite things at two different times, why not just bring his favorite people to his favorite place?! To him it was the best idea he’s ever had, but to you it was the craziest thing you’ve ever heard. The gym? With a bunch of other demons? Demons who might look at you? Absolutely not. You were still adjusting to being with Beel in the same room as Belphie when it was movie night… and you knew the guy!

Of course, you loved Beel, so you weren’t going to turn down his offer, especially since he seemed so happy about it. It wouldn’t hurt to test the waters a little bit, try to get used to things. No harm in trying… right? Wrong. As soon as you got in, everyone in the place came up to Beel, asking him about weights and spotting and a bunch of other gym things that you couldn’t even focus on because the only thing you could hear more clearly than their words was your heart pounding in your chest.

He could see you move behind him out of the corner of his eye and he felt bad… he felt really bad. He didn’t even question you until he got you out of the gym and back to the house.

“I’m sorry, honey… I’ll have a rest day, and I’ll spend it here with you. We can have snacks and movies, or we can just… snuggle…? Would you like that?”

Belphegor

This man hated being out in public probably more than you did. Not because he was particularly shy, he just hated people that weren’t you or Beel. It was a logical reason, one that you understood, and you didn’t blame him for it. You’d much rather stay in the attic with him all day than have to actually face anyone.

His brothers had different plans for the both of you, and by his brothers, it was just Mammon who wanted to spend time with his little brother. You were all for staying home while Mams took Belphie out, but he refused to let you stay home. If he had to leave the house, so did you. Neither of you were happy about it, but Mammon seemed so excited, and Belphie found out that he didn’t have to pay for anything, so it might actually be worth it… might. He’s not banking on it.

Apparently there was a fair going through the Devildom and Mammon thought that it would be something that Belphie would like… all the noise and lights and… He actually thought it was something that Belphie would enjoy. It’s the thought that counts though, and Mammon really wanted to spend time with Belphie so you couldn’t hate the guy for trying by good god the place was packed. It was awful, and it was loud, and there were people everywhere. It was a nightmare on steroids, the only thing worse would be having to make a public speech in front of all these people.

You didn’t just hide behind Belphie’s back, you got behind him and wrapped your arms as tightly around him as you possibly could, not wanting to get swept away in the sea of people. What better way than to become a statue in the middle of the walk way? He chuckled softly, patting your hands as he called out to Mammon to tell him he was going home before turning around and walking leaving the fairgrounds.

“Don’t change. Never change… and go with me everywhere my brothers force me to go… okay? I really like having you around.”

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me! #obey me! swd #obey me! shall we date #om! swd #om! shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me scenarios #obey me x gn!reader #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #lucifer avatar of pride #mammon avatar of greed #leviathan avatar of envy #satan avatar of wrath #asmodeus avatar of lust #beelzebub avatar of gluttony #belphegor avatar of sloth

[duxpuella]

Heya! If your requests are open I’d love some hcs of nail perry x socially anxious!gn!reader

(If they’re not open don’t worry about it :))

Headcanons of Neil P. with a socially anxious (gn!) reader

<Atention: Modern AU where Neil lives, and Welton’s a boys & girls school.

Warnings: Fluff; >

Note:

I'm not socially anxious and, as a writer, not knowing that experience in first hand might cause my writing on the matter to not be accurate (and for that I'm sorry). But I take in any tips and critics that can improve my writing.

Mental health is an important matter and should be taken seriously. Anxiety takes many forms and all are valid, all worthy of attention and treatment. Remember that building a support network with people you love and trust is a critical step in treatment and should not be underestimated, you don’t have to go through it alone. If possible, seek follow-up with health professionals (psychiatrists, therapists, psychologists) whom you trust and feel comfortable to work with.

Here’s a few posts to help you go through those tough times: 1 2 3;

Also, here’s my Neil playlist, hope you enjoy it!

font;

Your first encounter was quite a disaster. You were friends with Meeks first, he was your Latin study bud.

He came to your table at lunch just to give back your notes, there were other 2 boys with him: a blonde with blue eyes and a brunette with dark brown eyes. The last one was really pleasant, you thought making the blood flow through your cheeks and looking at your feet.

Your shoes suddenly looked really interesting. You could see a spot of mud here and there. You made the note, mentally, to clean and polish them by night at your dorm. The idea of clean and polished shoes made your legs stop shaking.

You couldn't focus on whatever Meeks was asking or stating, and you didn't want to. Focusing on him meant interacting with the boys you didn't know. You were caught up in your spiral of thoughts when the dark-haired boy tapped your shoulder and handed you the notes.

You almost jumped, like a scared cat, instead you grabbed the notes and walked away in a clumsy way waving Meeks goodbye.

That night, you cleaned your shoes and told your roommate what happened. "Welton is big, you probably won't see him again. Don't worry."

For some weird coincidence of destiny, you seem to spot that boy everywhere you went for the next 3 weeks. And every time he saw you too, he would try to approach you. That even made you come to avoid Meeks so you couldn't cross paths with him.

At a certain point, he deduced you were a bit like Todd and decided to go slow. He handed you a handwritten letter where he talked a bit about himself and made questions about you.

Your friendship with Meeks came back to normal and the now named boy (Neil P.) became your pen pal.

After a few weeks and multiple letters, he invited you to a Disney movies marathon in his dorm room by Saturday morning. Needless to say, it was fantastic and you had a great time together.

Both of you spent progressively more time together, soon enough you were a member of the Dead Poets!

Neil is very close to Todd, so he has some experience in dealing with socially anxious people.

He will always hold your hand or be by your side in assurance.

Would love to take you to parties and social gatherings, and as soon as you feel like leaving you just need to squeeze his hand. He will understand the message.

Lots of non-verbal codes so he will know your mind without saying.

It's all quite spontaneous, no plan needed, he just knows how to read you.

He's also perfectly fine with a Disney marathon in his dorm, any time, any day. No need for going out, if you don't feel like it.

Neil will encourage you to come out of your shell on daily basis, but he won't cross your boundaries. He just wants what's best for you.

Hope you like it! I take requests by ask! (info on requests);

Also, you’ll find more of my writing here.

#duxpuella headcanons #dead poets society #dps fandom #dps headcanons #dps hcs #dps fic #neil perry #neil perry x reader

[blu-joons]

DATING SEVENTEEN A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Hansol Vernon Chwe

A ⇴ AFFECTION 

Vernon is a big fan of affection, he’s big on cuddles and loves to hold your hand at any opportunity that he can. Affection is a good distraction for him when he wants to focus on something else, often focusing on your hands instead.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING 

You’d met by sheer coincidence when you accidentally walked into the wrong room on your first day at Pledis. Luckily, Vernon was on hand to lead you back into the right direction, but not before he’d also slipped his number into your pocket, just in case you ended up getting lost again and needed him to help you out.

C ⇴ CONFESSION 

Confessing to you left Vernon terrified for quite some time, for a while you’d sensed that something had been off with him whenever the two of you met up. You tried to push it to one side, but eventually, on one evening together, you just had to ask him what was going on. The plan that he did have to confess was thrown out of the window as he told you there and then what had been really going on in his mind.

D ⇴ DATES 

Your dates are often spent watching movies, either at the dorm or the theatre. You know all too well how much Vernon loves franchises, and with that, the two of you have a lot of movie marathons. You’ll be bundled underneath your duvets all day with plenty of snacks in between you both whilst you watch whatever Vernon has usually chosen. Even if he’s watched the movies a thousand times before, he’ll never say no to watching it again, especially now he’s got you for company to join him too.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE 

The whole dating experience made Vernon very nervous, he was worried about putting his foot wrong or making a mistake. It took him a while to really feel comfortable around you and trust in himself too to do the right thing. He put a lot of thought into even the smallest things that he did, and even though there were times when he was easy going, he never wanted that to be mistaken as not caring. If anything, Vernon cared too much about making sure that his first relationship was as perfect as he hoped.

F ⇴ FIGHTING 

Arguments between the two of you weren’t very common, these were the times when Vernon’s easy-going personality really came to the forefront. If you had a grumble or complaint, he’d listen and work on it, still with a smile on his face. It takes a tremendous lot for you to push his buttons to a point where he wants to argue with you. There are times when he feels like he has to bite his tongue, but he acknowledges that arguing is natural between couples, and that he’s far from perfect. Once you’ve told him what the problem is, he’ll never fail to fix it right away so the two of you can move on.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

You were welcomed very quickly into his family, especially by his sister. She loved having another girl around who could wind Vernon up which certainly helped with integrating you into the family. As happy as Vernon was to see the two of you getting along, he was still bitter that the two of you constantly teased him.

H ⇴ HOME 

The two of you spent a lot of time in his room at the dorm, enjoying your own space. Vernon wasn’t huge on finding a place of your own just yet, but as soon as you’d begin to weigh up a few options about what you could do in the future, he’d definitely be open to starting to do a bit of house hunting with you.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU” 

You were the first to say, ‘I love you,’ when Vernon returned from his first tour. You never imagined that home could become such a quite place, but not having him around really took you by surprise. As soon as you saw him, you just couldn’t help but blurt those three little words out before Vernon even had the chance to say, ‘I’m home!’

J ⇴ JEALOUSY 

Being jealous wasn’t something that Vernon tended to experience, he trusted a lot in people, and most of all, in you. The biggest sign you’d normally get when something wasn’t quite right, would be his smile dropping. He would never say anything to anyone, but as soon as the two of you are alone and you ask him what’s going on, he’ll tell you, and you, only. It’s not something he likes in himself, and he tries hard to brush any situations that make him jealous aside like they’re nothing. But he’s human, and he knows there are times when jealousy can’t be helped.

K ⇴ KIDS 

Starting a family was something Vernon often thought about when he was with you. Whenever the two of you began to talk about the future, his mind would naturally wonder to begin to think about children. It was a topic that he was very nervous to bring up around you, because if you started talking about children, Vernon wouldn’t be able to stop, he’d surprise you often by how well planned out his future was.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER 

If there’s one person around you who can be guaranteed to always be wearing a smile, it’s Vernon. If you ever see him without a smile, then you know something’s wrong. He knows he’s cute too, and aegyo is definitely a good friend of his when he wants to try and put a smile on your face. He loves to joke around and make the most out of his time with you, and best of all, he loves ticklish. If Vernon is ever not smiling, your hands will be attacking his waist in an instant as you know it’s the best solution. He’ll try and fight you off, but he’ll be too lost in his laughter to even try and be able to put up just a bit of a fight.

M ⇴ MISSING 

Being on the road is hard for him, whilst he’ll wear a smile around every single member of the crew and the team, his eyes will often tell a different story. There’ll be plenty of moments where he’ll end up drifting out of conversation because he finds himself thinking about you, and not paying attention to what he’s being told. Whilst the boys will never make him feel bad about missing you, they’ll often encourage him to go and ring you if he needs it. They know that he wants to protect the group when he misses you, but as with so many other things, he’s human, and he can’t keep up the smile forever, even if he wants too.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES 

You’ll often shorten his name to ‘vern,’ when you want him, if he ever hears you call him ‘Vernon,’ then he’ll be pretty certain that he’s done something wrong. His full name is usually only ever used when you’re angry at him.

O ⇴ OBSESSION 

He’s obsessed with your hands, his favourite time is when they’re drawing patterns around his body which he can focus on, to forget about the outside world.

P ⇴ PDA 

Affection in public isn’t something that Vernon does often, he’ll often get incredibly shy, even if he’s just holding your hand. He’ll often find himself being put in articles with blushed cheeks because a pap has photographed a photo of the two of you, he just can’t help but getting incredibly flushed when he’s around you.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS 

He can be quite a deep thinker at times, so he’ll often ask you questions to get yourselves into pretty deep discussions. The topics are often very random, but Vernon loves unfolding them and exploring so much about them too.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS 

Having family split between South Korea and America is hard for him, he barely ever has the time to visit them. Whenever he gets a break in his schedule, the two of you end up playing a game of rock, paper, scissors to decide which members of his family you’ll visit that time. He can never choose between the two sides, so he much prefers to leave it to fate to see where the two of you end up travelling to.

S ⇴ SEX 

He’ll often get very shy during intimacy, the close proximity between the two of you will make his heart flutter uncontrollably. Vernon will love when he can feel your hands around his body, they’re always very warm and comforting to him. It’s often a very romantic time, Vernon puts a lot of thought into things, he’s not one for a quick fix, he likes to take his time and make sure that it’s always special for you.

T ⇴ TEXTS 

Throughout the day you’ll often receive texts from Vernon just to see how you are. His mind will often wonder to you whenever he has a moment free, and so naturally, he’ll text you too to let you know you’re in his thoughts.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE 

Even though everyone knows him as the cute member of the group, even the rest of the members have never seen Vernon as shy as he is when he’s around you. He just can’t help but get nervous whenever he’s around you.

V ⇴ VACATION 

If there’s ever free time, then it will be spent visiting family. When the two of you aren’t visiting either side of his family, you’ll be visiting your own. Vernon makes sure to make time for your family too whenever he has free time, he wants you to see your loves ones just as much as he wants to go and see his own.

W ⇴ WHINING 

Vernon isn’t someone that will whine, if he wants your attention then he’ll usually just go very quiet and not be able to meet your eye.

X ⇴ XXXXX 

Just like his hugs, his kisses are very frequent too. Whenever he looks away from you because he’s getting shy, you’ll be right beside him, kissing against his red cheeks until he looks at you again. If he refuses, you’ll throw in a few tickles too until he’s kissing you back. Kisses from you are definitely a weakness for Vernon, no matter how shy, mad, unhappy, or moody he is, just a couple of kisses from you will do the trick and brighten the mood.

Y ⇴ YOU 

You were his weakness; he was completely infatuated with you.

Z ⇴ ZZZ 

Together you’d always fall asleep close together, he’d often be the big spoon as he liked to hold you against his chest and be the one to keep you safe. For you, falling asleep over his heart is always a comfort too.

---

Masterlist

#seventeen #seventeen imagine #vernon #vernon imagine #hansol vernon chwe #hansol vernon chwe imagine #seventeen reaction #seventeen scenario #seventeen vernon #seventeen drabble #seventeen one shot #seventeen fluff #vernon scenario #vernon reaction #vernon one shot #vernon drabble #vernon fluff #kpop #kpop imagine

[dirtycccat]

the demon bros+ undateables showing their love

thought about this for 5 min then had to write it out so enjoy

lucifer

first off you notice he treats you differently

and by differently i mean like you’re his favorite child  sibling

you get away with anything??? and he’s softer with you than with the others (which is canon)

then you see that?? he keeps buying you stuff you said you wanted when he was present

and you’re ofc impressed

but you’re more impressed by how open he’s around you

he’ll leave most of his walls down around  you

which means you’ll get to experience unfiltered lucifer

he’ll laugh around you more, make dumb dad jokes, nap with his head in your lap, complain drunkenly about his work and bros, give you sloppy cheeks and forehead kisses

you find it rly cute though

if you’re in the human world he’ll 100% take this chance to send you beautifully written letters asking you how you are and leaving some verses that reminded him of you on the back like a 19th century vampire

“dear mc, how is your life? mine is filled with woe and unease since i do not  have the light of my life around anymore...anyway here’s a poem about being horny and alone by a 18th century romantic author hope to see you soon, xoxo lucifer”

you try to respond in the same way and send him memes on the back instead of  poetry (or real poetry depends on your mood)

mammon

protective of you 100% will throw hands with anyone that even glances weirdly your way

but also wants to show you off? like look at this human!!! this is MY human!!!

gives you random thoughtful gifts that reminded him of you

wants to be around you 24/7 so he invites you to all the events that he thinks you’ll like

you wanna party? perfect. you wanna go on a weird ghost stories tour around the city? cool. you wanna waltz in one of those old people parties? he’s already reserved two tickets. you just wanna lay around and nap? he’s already on your lap.

it doesn’t matter if you’re in a romantic relationship or not this man WILL serenade you outside your window

rapunzel style with an acoustic guitar or with a boombox like a rebel 80s kid

anyway here’s toxic by britney spears babe this is for YOU

levi

considers you his bff ofc

but also at first he’s still really awkward around you and doesn’t really know what to do for you and feels bad thinking only you do things for him

until you reassure him you enjoy just being around him so it’s fine

he blushes and starts inviting you more to his room to game/ watch stuff

at some point he starts buying two tickets to all concerts he goes to and invites you along

but also? he asks you what you’re into and starts marathoning your favorite animes/ movies/ series so he can talk with you abt them

you feel really moved that he’d do that for you???  like??? bruh...

your relationship is basically friends respecting each other and wanting to know each other the best through their passions even if it means getting into some weird shit

it’s rly wholesome tho

if you’re romantically involved he’ll totally do roleplay as your favourite character and you do the same for him and it’s really cute

also imagine: artistic collabs. you make fanart together??? you can program games together???? you do cosplay together??? the possibilities...

satan

he’ll hate to be compared to his dad brother but he does show how much he trusts you by showing his unguarded side too

when he first talked about lucifer without the filter of his nice guy persona you were pretty shocked

like he was really going at it

but then you realize? he’s just like that when he’s comfortable

and it’s not all mean spirited, he just has,,, a strong personality and a lot of opinions about stuff (which you sometimes share with him)

but you also found out it’s really fun to gossip with satan

since he knows all the juicy gossip from his multitude of ties (he’s sharing the title of gossip queen with asmo that’s why they get along so well tbh)

also if you even find a teacher you hate he’ll tell you all their embarrassing moments to make you feel better

he also recommends you books and poems and sends you quotes that made him think about you

so you sure as heck don’t need to buy books while you’re in the devildom bc he’ll buy you an entire library 

asmo

compliments you without comparing you to himself which is the highest compliment he can give

like mammon he’s more into the showing everyone his favorite human around while also protecting them

he’ll take you to his parties and gatherings as a guest of honor, he’ll make you meet all kinds of people and open up opportunities for you

he’ll be the one that pampers you

you’d think lucifer is the sugar daddy of the family but nope it’s asmo

he’ll buy you cute clothes, shoes, beauty products everything that he saw and imagined would look bomb on you

if you’re not into clothes he’ll buy you art supplies, books, anything you want but he’ll still probably  buy you at least some clothes he thinks are cute

if you’re romantically involved,,,, he’ll buy other toys for you as well which you can try together wink wink

beel

cooks for you

no questions asked when it’s his turn to cook he’ll think about what YOU would like to eat first before making something

which is??? really touching coming from beel

and also means sometimes he’ll make the same dish three weeks in a row and annoy the others while you just get excited bc ??? you get to eat your favourite dish??? again and again???? 

thank you beel you truly know how to touch someone’s insides

also opens up to you and talks to you about his fears and thoughts

expect to get 4 am msgs from beel if he had a nightmare

which would end up in you coming to cuddle him (and belphie also joins sometimes)

which tbh is that even a thing you can complain about?

belphie

is more baby less murder when you’re around

naps on your lap, naps on your shoulder, naps with you anywhere

but also let’s you nap on HIM

besides being soft around you he actually opens up to you too

and talks to you about his traumas and issues

which he has in common with his twin what can you do

so you have weekly cuddle parties with him and beel where you talk about shit and actually make them resolve their issues instead of just,,, ignoring them

also if you’re into each other you probably tease each other and flirt really shamelessly in public while the others cringe and or blush at your language

are you a cowboy? because i want you to ride me all night 

simeon

writes you fancy letters with poetry like lucifer, but his ink is scented and  his envelopes contain pressed flowers more often than not

if you’re together you even do letter sexting if you’re into it

creates characters based on you in his stories (which you don’t believe even if levi points out you that the two of you are kinda similar)

asks you to spend more and more time with him and luke

invites you to picnics, reads to you while your head is in his lap, cooks you snacks

if you’re a theatre kid too,,, you do musical love confessions too,,, sometimes by just reciting the lyrics of really popular musical theatre songs in a death panned voice

cough a heart full of love from les mis but read like poetry through the fence of the house of lamentation cough

asks you cryptic shit hannibal style like “tell me mc what does it mean to want to be consumed whole by another? is it a desire to become something bigger than yourself or is it related to our need to become one with our loved one like some cultures pointed out before?”

you’re either really into his cryptid talk or just roll your eyes and smooch him

diavolo

invites you around to his castle all the time

sometimes he even pulls some weird shenanigans just to make you spend more time with him

expect tea parties with him luci and barbatos in no particular combination

gives you compliments 24/7  even in public

remember how he treats lucifer? he’s that for you too but he’s learned from the lucifer experience to focus on complimenting you as a person more than how you look

if you’re into pda he’ll touch you all the time

if you ever wanted a gomez - morticia romance, here’s your goth big titty himbo that’s way too full of love

if you’re lovers expect to be pampered, i feel like? he doesn’t buy a lot of gifts and such because he’s probably tired of material things but he will make time in his busy schedule for you and spend a lot of time with you

which means more to him than gifts

(we will buy you anything you ask though)

barbatos

actually talks with you about stuff outside rad, the demon bros and diavolo

also invites you to alone time tea or wine time

where you drink and gossip

if satan and asmo are the crowned queens of gossip barbatos is the king of gossip but he doesn’t share his knowledge to most people so nobody knows what he knows

but he knows,,,, a lot

and not only that he knows a lot about people nowadays,,, but imagine the things he knows about like historical figures and such,,, 

so prepare for story time with barbatos where he  talks about how oscar wilde was almost summoned by drunk inccubi during a party once, or how  diavolo cried when he was a kid because he sent a letter to caravaggio asking him to paint his portrait and he said no

also if you get drunk together expect really energetic talkative barbatos destroying DESTROYING everyone (except diavolo ofc)

“lucifer please i once saw you crying because you thought diavolo was ignoring you when you actually forgot to press the send button to your messages ”

if you’re romantically involved diavolo will always be first in his hear but that just means you’ll have to invite diavolo along on your dates which  just means you’ve got a new lover and a new bff

solomon 

he invites you on all kinds of wacky adventures

you  visit witches, go to weird magical forest parties or orgies if you want, you go travelling the mountains for rare herbs

it’s like you’re faust and he’s mephisto  haha the irony and he’s showing you another side of the world you never knew 

ofc the others know about all this but??? they thought it’s normal and didn’t even consider you know nothing about it

but solomon knows what it was like to be just a human

and since he likes you he empathizes with your situation

he also make you meet all kinds of people

since he has 72 contracts and hundreds of years of doing wack stuff he must know some interesting people

and now his friends are your friends 

i feel like romantic solomon would be just him?? but less shady with you especially since now you understand him better 

but also he’ll probably bring you weird shit from his alone expeditions

did you ever want the tears of a mermaid? a carnivorous plant that feeds on emotions? a crying portrait? no? well too bad because now you have a room full of weird items

...that you love and treasure thank you very much

#best boys deserve the best softest headcanons #mine #my post #i mean am i wrong #i mostly made this bc i kept thinking abt mammon serenading mc and simeon doing musical theatre confessions #and it escaladed #oh well #obey me #obye me shall we date #obye me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me simeon #obye me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me undateables

[hanniiesuckle17]

Chapter 7: The Library

A/n: so this chapter has been long-awaited by some and i hope you guys enjoy it! the series will really start moving after this so i would love to hear what you guys think of the chapter! Sorry about any typos- i didn't have time to edit this with all my schoolwork this week! Tag List is Open <3

Tag List: @woodiegochile @mini-meanhoe @leggomylino @hanstagrams @desertofdessert @hoes4hoseok @jeonqqin @geminirules @mrsunshine999 @jisungsjheekies @hannie-squirrel00 @cotccotc @kodzu-ken @konenichi @yangs-jeongin @binniebutter @orangegyu @little-precious-baby @raethethey @sofie296 @hongjoong-a-holic

RBTL Tag List: @bluejayboys @wonderlandless @introverted-stay24  @sunfics​ @deputyjuyeon​  @studioreader​

Warnings: Cursing

WC: 2.9k

Summary: True love has never come easy; life makes sure of that. From unrequited love to missed timing, does anyone have any hope at finding success- let alone pass History at the same time? All these questions leave young people wondering….will they still love me in the morning?

❖

Third POV

Y/n’s eyes grew tired as words about some minuscule event in history floated off the page of her textbook. She closed her eyes, stretching her neck-the bones cracking softly as her stiff neck rolled back. The odd silence drew her attention. Curious, she took the headphones from her ears and listened. All she could hear was the sound of raindrops falling against the large windows of the library.

It became quickly clear to the girl that she was alone and the only light in the room was coming from her little desk. “Hello?” She called out. Her voice echoed out from the second floor and filling the open building. When she heard no response, she shrugged and began pacing up her things to head home.

Though there was no response to the girl’s call there was in fact one lone soul left in the university’s library. One floor directly below Y/n sat a tall and slender boy, books piled high on his desk. Changmin twirled a pen between his fingers before checking his phone. His eyes widened seeing the time. Quickly he stuffed his journals into his bag, leaving his bag only half zipped. Red tuffs of fake hair stuck out as his doll was pushed towards the top of his bag.

The boy did a backtrack wondering if he should put his books away but decided against it knowing if he kept Chanhee and his friends waiting much longer then he might not live to see the midterm. Instead, he turned around and headed for the door- backpack on his shoulder and adjusting the glasses that were falling down his nose. 

It seemed fate was entirely focused on these two tonight. Only the storm clouds had a view of the girl walking down the stairs just in time to meet the boy as he stepped onto the main floor. The two shared a brief look- shocked to see another person at this hour, but continued their way to the front doors wordlessly.

Just the sight of the girl had Changmin’s hands starting a nervous sweat. He tried to focus on anything but how pretty he thought she looked with the dim light from the streetlamps outside casting streams of light over her face. As the two students grew closer to the door the sound of the storm outside grew louder. It was also easier for them to see as they neared the larger windows. 

Y/n reached out for the door. Surprisingly, she found resistance as she pushed. Again the girl tried, sending an awkward smile to the boy behind her. After pushing multiple times she gave up with a sigh.  “I- uh....I think it’s locked.”

“Locked?”

Changmin stepped forward and tried his hand at the closed entranced. He pushed and pulled until retreating, brows furrowed. “What you didn’t believe me?” The girl asked with a breathy laugh. Changmin’s eyes widened as he turned to face her.

“What- no! No, not all! I- I- I just...”

“I was just joking, don’t worry.” A timid smile quirked up the corner of the boy's lips. He watched as she shed her bag- placing it against the nearest row of shelves. “Should we try together?” His head moved faster than his mind could process Y/n’s words. He shed his backpack next to hers and the two turned towards the sealed doors.

In his mind, he knew that even with both of their strengths pushing, the industrial locks on the university doors would not break. “I’m Y/n, by the way.” Instead of looking at the boy, she readied herself at the door, palms pressed against the metal bar.

“Oh- I’m..uh...C-Changmin...”

“Well C-Changmin, push on three?” He nodded, finding Y/n’s smile, though small, even more enchanting up close. “One, two, three!”

The two of them pushed with all their might but to no avail. Y/n looked defeated as she pulled her phone out of her back pocket. Her delicate fingers pushed the button but the screen refused to light up. 

Changmin had a similar idea. He reached for his own phone. Both of them smiled as it lit up showing the time and 11% battery left. The grin quickly fell as he realized there was absolutely no signal. Using his long limbs to his advantage he reached up searching one measly bar. 

Y/n ran a hand through her hair. This was the absolute perfect way to end her already stressful and torturous day. She reached for the lamp on a nearby desk but a huge roll of thunder resonated through the building and it suddenly became even darker. 

“Well, this is the beginning of a horror movie if I’ve seen one.” Changmin joked, kicking the door with a grin. His smile fell as he turned to see the fearful look on Y/n’s face.

“Dude- why the fuck would you say that!” 

“I don’t know! I’m sorry!” He mentally hit himself over and over. Why did he say that? There was no need to break the silence. The silence was his safety net right now. If he was silent there was absolutely no way he could appear like some weird Freakazoid to her. He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, casting brief glances over at the pretty girl he had liked for so long.

The two gradually gravitated towards each other. There was really nowhere else to go. Y/n enjoyed the sound of the storm outside, letting it calm her ever-growing nerves. Changmin resisted the urge to engage in embarrassing small talk.

A bright crash of lightning brightened up the room in sheets just as Y/n’s eye fell on the two backpacks several feet away. Her scream echoed off the ceiling as she caught a glimpse of the Chucky doll peeking its head out of the boy’s bag. Instinctively, she grabbed onto the closest thing- which happened to be Changmin’s hoodie.

Heat flooded every inch of his face and he wasn’t quite sure where to put his hands so he settled for keeping them up in the air. Inside his heart was beating faster than he ever thought possible. It was like all of his senses were heightened the moment she touched him.

“What the hell is that?”

“Oh...umm...he’s my Chucky.”

“Your what?” She pulled away from him and Changmin instantly missed her touch. The girl all but laughed seeing the blush on his cheeks and his arms still raised in the air almost in surrender.

“My Chucky. You know- like from the movie...”

“Yes, I’ve seen the fucking movie!”

Nervously he adjusted his sweater before shuffling over and gently tucking his doll safely pack in his bag- out of sight from the still shaken girl. “Why are you carrying that around anyway?”

The scare had seemed to lessen the tension between both of them; though Changmin was still very aware of every word and action towards Y/n. “I was headed to a thriller marathon at my friend’s apartment after I finished some studying.” She nodded but in her mind, she wondered how if he had been studying for as long as she had, he did not have tears running down his face and a massive migraine. “I guess I just lost track of the time.” 

Y/n couldn’t help but smile a the boy’s lopsided grin. She found it endearing how one side was always high than the other. The more he smiled at her the more she wanted to take a picture of his little quirk.

Another weighted silence fell between them. Against his better judgment, Changmin began to speak. “I don’t mean to pry...but what were you doing here so late?” For a moment Y/n had forgotten all about her troubles that had been following her for the past month and a half. A visible heaviness pressed down her shoulders.

Her back pressed against the bookshelf and she let herself slide down to the floor. “I gave up on finding a tutor last week. I was hoping some miracle would happen if I read that stupid book long enough.”

At that moment she wasn’t just the girl he had been pining after since he was in braces. Changmin saw the exhaustion. He saw the complete lack of hope. He moved his backpack- which she had sat down next to and took its place. 

“What book?” He didn’t need to ask but saved her the embarrassment of telling her that he had been in the room for her lecture with Professor Jeong. Wordlessly she pulled out a book, her hand dipping in the air from the significant weight. “Ah,”

“Good ‘ah’ or bad ‘ah’?”

“I’m not sure which the situation calls for?” He said pushing up his glasses with a little smile. 

Changmin’s grin grew a little wider as he heard her laugh. Even sitting in the dark, her smile seemed to fill the room with a warm glow. “At this point, I think I’m just useless.” She pressed her forehead against the cool cover of the book. 

She wondered why she found herself so comfortable with this stranger. It felt easier to talk with this boy she had known for twenty minutes than to talk with her closest friends- even her parents. A small shock of something she could only describe as electricity, raced up her arm as the boy’s hand brushed hers. He reached for the book, gently taking it from her hands and opening it to the tabbed page. 

“You aren’t useless, Y/n,” His words gave her comfort, wrapping around her like a warm blanket fresh from the dryer. Changmin chuckled, turning the page. “However, one might find it useful to highlight only the useful information and not the entire page.”

He found it cute looking down at Y/n’s textbook. Most of the passages were marked with yellow highlighter- easy to see even in the growing darkness. Some lines were underlined in red and there were circled statements with question marks all over the page. It was evident that she was in fact trying. Actually, her notes were in more detail than his. 

“I just don't understand it.”

“What?”

“All of it.”

“All of history?”

“Sure- let’s go with that.” She shrugged leaning her head back on the bookshelf.  

“I think history can be confusing sometimes too.” Changmin let her textbook rest on his lap. The two of them looked out the huge windows in front of them, watching the storm rage on outside. Occasionally, a flash of lightning would light up the library. “You know, I’m in Professor Jeong’s class too.”

“You are?”

Chanhee was right. She had no idea he existed until now and unless he played his cards right, she would forget about him the moment she left this building. “Yeah...I sit two rows behind you.” He watched her eyes widened a little as if she was trying to recall every face she had seen in that classroom. “Actually...to be fully honest...I knew who you were before tonight.”

Her brows furrowed, creating a small crease in the middle of her forehead. Everything about her fascinated Changmin, even down to her smallest expression. Getting a little nervous, he started rummaging through his backpack. As he chose his next words carefully in his mind, Changmin pulled out a half-full plastic water bottle and portable charger he forgot he carried. 

Interested in the boy’s previous statement, Y/n watched him with intrigue. “I-uh....” His hands shakily turned on his phone’s flashlight after plugging his phone into the charger. “We went to the same high school. You and I have shared classes since grade nine.” Her jaw dropped a little at his words.

“I feel....like such a bitch.”

“Oh no-” He stuttered, trying to balance the water bottle over his flashlight- creating a makeshift lantern. 

“Oh my god, I am the biggest asshole! I’ve never once noticed you in seven years? You must hate me!”

His heart warmed, seeing how bothered she was. He felt a little pride swell in his chest knowing that Sunwoo and Chanee were completely wrong about Y/n. “No, not at all! I just think we had different friend groups that’s all.”

Shrouded in the light from their little water lamp the two of them exchanged old high school gossip that Changmin never quite understood from the outside. “Wait so Miyoung stole Yeonu away from Hajoon?” Changmin covered his mouth in shock, his eyes widening in a cute way. 

Y/n smiled and nodded, hand falling on his knee. “Yeah- I know right!”

“And Yeonu was the guy who-”

“Yeah who sold Class 4B the midterm answers!”

Changmin let loose a huge sigh. “Damn- I missed so much in high school by just studying and playing games.” This time a comfortable silence fell between the two students on the floor. By the way her eyes were drooping, Y/n assumed it was about three am. 

“Nah you just missed....a whole lot of drama.” She yawned shaking her head to stay awake. 

It was then that Changmin’s willpower gave in to the weariness of his body. His brain no longer had control of his mouth at that moment. “What if I tutored you?”

A sleepily smile slid onto Y/n’s face. She turned her head against the shelf to look up at the boy next to her. His hopes fell as she laughed a little. “I need more help than just History.”

“What else?”

“Math, Physics, Psych...”

“I can help you with all of that too!” 

Changmin hated how eager he sounded. “What are you? Some kind of genius?” She smiled even though her back was getting sore and the sound of the rain was lulling her to sleep. 

“No, just a mathematics major whose parents paid for top tutors until he was sixteen.”

The girl stared at him. Her expression was unclear. In her mind, she knew there had to be some catch. No way was this guy going to tutor her in all the subjects she needed for nothing. “What’s your rate, Genius?”

“Like money?

She nodded, turning to fully face the boy. Y/n waited for some terrible number that was hellbent on destroying her bank account. Changmin on the other hand was panicking trying to decipher what number was high enough to get her to say yes but not low enough to make her think that he wasn’t serious. “Um.....$8?”

“An hour? For four subjects?”

“Yes...”

“DEAL!” 

Once again Changmin was frozen as Y/n threw her arms around him in a hug. His hands returned to their familiar place- up in the air, shaking, and far away from her. 

The pair spent the next hours with textbooks sprawled around them. Changmin patiently assessed where Y/n was in each of her subjects, surprised how someone of her intelligence was struggling. He found that she was indeed very bright- but simply not understanding the information the way it was being given to her. 

Neither of them noticed the rain stopping or even the sun rising with a pink and orange glow coming over the horizon, morning light sliding across the marbled floor. They didn’t even notice the sound of keys being turned in the front doors hours earlier they tried so hard to open. 

“What are you kids doing here?” The two students looked up to see one of the librarians standing in the doorway, keys in hand. 

They looked at each other before scrambling to grab their things and running out the doors. The warm, wet morning air greeted them as they stumbled outside. The sun was just peaking over the buildings and Y/n smiled at the dew clinging to the bright green blades of grass lining the sidewalks. It was a new day and a new hope filled her chest. “We’re finally out!” Changmin cheered, jumping up and down adorably. 

Y/n found it precious that someone so tall and graceful looking could be so clumsy and cute. “Changmin, I can’t thank you enough. I don’t think anyone could have explained the Joseon Era principles better.”

“Oh- i-it was nothing.”

“Here,” Taking a pen from her pocket she reached for his right arm and rolled up the sleeve of his hoodie. He took the moment to once again appreciate her beauty up close while the girl wrote her number on his arm. When she was done she placed the pen in his large hand and looked at him expectantly. “Aren’t you going to give me yours?”

Changmin vigorously nodded his head ‘yes’ and internally screamed at his brain to remember the numbers to his own phone number. With anything but steady hands, he wrote his number on her forearm and basked in the glow of the smile he received.

“So-uh..I’ll call you? You’ll call me? We can talk about times that work?”

“Yeah! Dates....and what not...Study-dates I mean! Tutoring! Yes.”

“Awesome! I can’t wait! Thank you so much, you have no idea how much you are saving my ass.” Y/n cheered as she started to back away towards her dorm. 

“So you’ll call me?” He called after her. His feet were planted firmly where he stood for he feared if he moved an inch he might float away.

She laughed, her smile even brighter in the growing daylight. “Or something, yeah!”

“Okay!” He watched Y/n unit she rounded a corner before letting all the joy explode from his body in a fit of jumps, hollers, cheers, dance, and maybe what some might consider singing. 

The sun basked in the boy’s glee as he danced and jumped his way down the sidewalk screaming “YES! SHE KNOWS WHO I AM!” His body was no longer sore and his mind was no longer tired. Instead, he ran all the way back to his apartment with a grin that the sun could not compete with. 

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Masterlist

#the boyz imagines #the boyz smau #ji changmin imagines #ji changmin smau #read between the lines #tbz imagines #tbz smau #changmin imagines #ji changmin au #the boyz college au #the boyz au imagines #q imagines #kpop imagines #kpop smau #the boyz changmin #tbz changmin #ji changmin #the boyz fluff #the boyz angst #the boyz smut #ji changmin fluff #the boyz reactions #the boyz scenarios #the boyz social media au #ji changmin college au #the boyz masterlist #rubber ducky you're the one #ji changmin oneshot #changmin imagine

[forever-rogue]

prompt request! “I’ve never been anyone’s anything.” “You’re everything to me.” - with Frankie 🥺

I hope you enjoy! I am so soft for Frankie!

Frankie x Fem!Reader

No Warnings

»»————-　♡　————-««

This was the hardest, no scratch that, worst time of the year.

It wasn't that you hated the holidays, no they weren't so bad themselves, it was just...everything else.

It was hard to constantly smile and be happy when you were single and alone during the holidays. Again. Year after painstaking year.

The whole single thing wasn't the worst part either, it was just...the fact that everything seemed to remind you of that seemingly the world was coupled up while you were by yourself. That and the fact that every family member in the world seemed to ask the same questions every year at your holiday gatherings.

Who are you seeing?

When are you settling down and getting married?

When are you going to have children?

The whole lot of it was enough to exhaust you, mentally, spiritually, and physically and often maybe you contemplate avoiding you any holiday gathering all together. Yet you still managed to drag yourself to them and get through it all, plastering on a fake smile as you politely answered their questions. Your answers were always short and to the point, but you still remained polite...despite the fact that you wished the ground would swallow you up whole.

Maybe this year you would just skip everything. But then you'd have to answer as to why you weren't with the family. Shit.

It was a catch-22.

But there was another idea that quickly crossed your mind. It wasn't the best, you probably should have just let it go, but something inside you was just nagging at you and telling you to do it.

Before you knew it, your phone was in hand and you had dialed Frankie's number. Sometimes you were beyond thankful for your best friend.

"Hey bee," he answered after a few rings, his voice immediately soft and gentle, causing your heart to settle and a sense of peace wash over you.

"Hi Frankie," immediately a sense of unease and nerves washed over you as you realized just exactly what you were asking of him. You closed your eyes and let out a soft sigh and decided to just do it. It was now or never, "can I ask you for a favor? Kind of a big one..."

"Shoot," you could hear a note of concern in his voice as he came to the conclusion that something was up, "is everything okay?"

"Yeah," you swallowed the lump in your throat, "I just...will you come with me to my family's holiday party next weekend?"

"Of course," he laughed lightly; it was a weird thing of you to ask him or completely out of the blue, he would often go with you to family things.

"Umm, there's a catch," you blurted, "I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend."

"Oh. Oh?" a stunned silence met you on the other end.

"Yeah," you feigned a laugh, hoping he wouldn't suddenly back out, "its just that...I don't know if I can handle another year of everyone asking me why I'm single and whatnot. They already know you and love you so it would be easy."

"Okay," he answered after a few awkward, tense beats of pause, "yeah, we can...we can definitely do that."

"Thank you so much, Frankie," you let out a sigh of relief, "I owe you big time. I love you so much!"

"Yeah...just let text me all the details later," he cleared his throat awkwardly, "umm, I have to go now. I'll talk to you later."

"Sounds good," you already felt so much better, "talk to you soon!"

»»————-　♡　————-««

By the time your family Christmas party rolled around, you were feeling an odd mixture of emotions. Happy, because you wouldn't be alone and your best friend would be by your side. Relieved that you could dodge the annoying questions from your family. And yet, you were also feeling a sense of...nerves?

As you prepared to go, taking a long hot shower and indulging in some self care an odd sense washed over you. Slipping on the pretty dress you'd picked out, hoping Frankie would like it too, you suddenly found yourself nervous realizing that he was the cause of your nerves. Although only posing as your boyfriend for the night, part of you couldn't help but wonder would it be like if he really was your boyfriend. You wished he was; you wished you could call him yours. But no; he was just your handsome friend that you were hopelessly in love with.

Bummer.

As you finished doing your hair and make up to just how you liked it, a knock came at your door before Frankie opened it and announced himself.

"In here!" you called out to him as you listened to his heavy footfalls, taking a deep breath to steady and remind yourself that was just your best friend. Nothing more and nothing less.

But as you sat finished putting in your earrings, you heard the creak of the floor followed by a small, "wow."

"Hi Frankie," you turned and offered him a smile before almost losing whatever bit of cool you had at the sight of him. He was handsome as ever, dressed in a well fitting pair of pants and button up, his dark curls styled elegantly and not hidden under his signature hat for once. He was perfection.

"Wow yourself, Frankie," you beamed at him, "you look wonderful - handsome."

"This?" a tinge of pink flushed his cheeks as he tried to play off your compliment, "its nothing much...but thank you."

"I'll just be a minute and then we can go," you went to back to the mirror and studied yourself, making sure you looked exactly how you wanted. It was hard to keep your eyes off of Frankie; he looked so handsome and sweet it was almost hard to define the line between remembering he was a friend and wanting nothing more than to have him. Instead you tried to focus on your reflection, "thanks again for doing this Frankie. I owe you big time, maybe dinner and movie marathon this weekend? I'll even let you pick the movies."

"Yeah," he cleared his throat awkwardly, "that sounds good. Umm...can I ask you something?"

"Anything, you know that."

"Why me? Why do you even need a fake boyfriend to bring? You've gone alone or with me as friends..." his question made your heart stop as you looked up and met his eyes in the mirror. He looked just as confused as you felt.

"Firstly, why not you? You're my best friend, and we both know you're a total catch," you turned around and held out your hand as if to say obviously, "and I dunno. I just can't handle another year of being ambushed with questions about why I'm single and how I'll end up as a spinster. I'd just like it to be different for one year...to feel like I actually mean something to someone. Even if it just for a night."

"What do you mean?" an offended and upset look crossed his features as he put his hands on your shoulders and turned you to face him. You said too much. Too damn much and now you felt like a fool that was just about to cry, "do you have any clue how much you mean to me? And so many others?"

"I know, obviously you're my best friend," you feigned a weak laugh as you tried to work your way around this conversation, "I lo- care about you too. Tremendously. But I mean...I've been never been anyone's anything. I've never had someone love and care for me, its always been a boyfriend or so here and there but nothing real. And I know its stupid to be so upset about it, but for just one night I want to feel like maybe I could be that for someone. Maybe one day I will...I dunno, Frankie. I probably sound like an idiot. Either way...I just...thank you."

Before you could move away or do anything, Frankie gently, ever so tenderly, reached up and wiped away the tears that had rolled down your cheeks. You allowed your gaze to meet his and found yourself staring at wide, nervous eyes.

"I can't believe you think that about yourself little bee," he whispered quietly, "you are everything to me. Everything."

"Frankie-"

"Listen, please, just let me say what I have too or I'm afraid I never will," he slid his hands down your arms and let himself inhale and exhale deeply. There was a best of silence before he steadied himself, "I am so in love with you. I have been for a long time...I just never...I couldn't bring myself to say it. But I have never just thought of you a friend."

"You don't have to-"

"I mean it," he insisted as he took your hand and pulled you closed to him, "I wish I would have told you a long time ago. But I couldn't just listen to you say these things when they're not true."

"Frankie..." you paused as you looked at your entwined hands, contemplating your next action. You brought your other hand to his cheek, gently touching his skin. There was a moment of hesitation before you decided to dive right in and kiss him.

It was a slow, sweet thing as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled your frame against his. A hand was around your waist and the other cradled the back of your head as you carded a hand through his dark locks. It was like there was no learning curve, no trying, just like it was meant to be. When you pulled apart, both of you reluctantly, you couldn't help the megawatt grin that was on your face. The matching one on Frankie's face was enough to send butterflies fluttering in your belly.

"I umm...I love you, Frankie," you stated the obvious as the two of you laughed, "I guess that's kind of obvious, huh?"

"I like hearing it," he admitted as you felt a flush of warmth run over your face, "why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Why didn't you?"

"Nervous," you both admitted at the same time. You shook your head, wishing you hadn't been such a fool for so long. But before you could lament anything, Frankie quickly captured your lips for another kiss, this one almost shy, but still saccharine.

"You better stop because I could get used to that," you teased as he just grinned.

"I will kiss you every day then," he promised, "and then some."

"I'd like that," you agreed, "I'd like that a lot."

"You're not the only one," he reached for your jacket and helped you put it on, "but we better go before we're late. You know how your mom gets."

"Is it bad I don't want to go? Can we just stay here instead?"

"Don't you want to go and introduce everyone to your boyfriend?" he said with another gentle peck, "I'm sure they're dying to know who it is."

"Well, when you put it like that, how can I refuse?" you agreed as you helped straighten his shirt, "are you free after? Tonight?"

"For you? Always, mi vida," he promised as he kissed the top of your head, "now let's go and have fun. Everything else can wait for later."

"Hey Frankie?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you," you whispered softly as he seemed to melt at your words.

"I love you too, bee. Always and forever."

#frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #triple frontier #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #i love him so much #soft hours start now and end never 🥺

[mcufox123]

Table 5 (Chapter 6)

Summary: Wanda finally meets one of your closest friends. You are also overcome with emotions about your new relationship.

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety and anxiety attacks. Implications of smut

A/N: This was a hard chapter to write and read back. If you guys have any suggestions or comments please let me know!

Chapter1 Chapter2 Chapter3 Chapter 4 Chapter5

Your night went on and when it was time you lined up the food to bring to the Avengers. The servers helped you carry the food, and you were sure to grab Wanda’s food so you could place it in front of her. As you put it down you put your hand on her back and she leaned back into your touch.

“I hope everyone enjoys their meal here tonight! If there are any problems, please feel free to let me know!” you say as the group begins to dig into their food. You walk back to your station nervous that they wouldn’t like your food.

You were wrong when 15 minutes later Tony Stark meets your eyes and waves you over to the table.

“Yes sir? Is everything ok?” you ask nervously.

“Chef Y/N, dinner was unbelievable. My swordfish was cooked perfectly. I mean how do you do that? It was flakey and the flavors just danced in my mouth.” He gushed about his platter that was now completely clear of any food that had been on there.

“Dude my steak was so good too!” Sam continued the praise and you felt pride well up in your chest.

“Thank you! I’m only as good as my team, I’m sure you guys know how that goes.”

“Of course! You’re giving Wanda down there a run for her money. She cooks as well, pretty decently actually.” Tony said nodding to the girl down the table from him. You smiled because you knew what an amazing cook she was. You played along so nobody would suspect anything.

“Is that so? I will have to see for myself someday.” You see her laugh and you smile in return, loving the way her laugh sounds.

“Anytime you want Chef Y/N.” she said giving you a wink. The way she said your name sent a chill through your body.

“Seriously, thank you. And I will definitely be coming back here.” Tony said while shaking your hand.  You thanked him once more before finding their server and telling her that their meal was on you tonight. You chuckled to yourself a bit as you imagined their faces when you show up to movie night on Wednesday while walking back to where Bill was chilling behind the counter.

“So how did you land her?” Bill asked, nodding his head to the big table who were ordering dessert.

“Remember that night her and Vision came in and he proposed, and she said no and just sat there?” you remind him of the night all those months ago.

“Yes, and she sat there all night.” He continues, he doesn’t know the full story though.

“Well, after everyone left, I told her she could stay as long as she liked, and I started making dinner for myself. She came over and instead she insisted on finishing making my dinner. After that night she came as much as she could when the restaurant closed to make me dinner. We were friends for the first few months and then about a month ago I asked her to be my girlfriend and we’ve been dating ever since.” You fill him in on your relationship.

“Wait, so you let this lady cook at your station before you let me cook back here? That’s messed up I thought I was your best friend?” You looked at your friend and chuckled as he continued. “Why are you so scared then? She seems great.”

“Her job is scary, and I didn’t think about that till tonight. I mean what if something happens to her? How will I know? I can’t do anything to stop her or help her.” You say thinking about all the things that could happen to her running through your head.

“Y/N, it’s her job, just like cooking is your job. Also, everyone, not just superheroes, could get hurt at any point of the day. I could get hit by a car and die walking home tonight. We can’t focus on everything that could go wrong, focus on how happy you are instead.” You are shocked at how wise your friend is.

“Who are you and what did you do to Bill?” you ask giving him a serious expression. “For real though, thank you. That made me feel a lot better.”

“No problem. It’s what I’m here for. Serious question though, when can I meet her?” you take a minute to think about it.

“If you want to stick around, she’s coming back tonight.” he nods his head in excitement and the two of you clean up the kitchen. You see the avengers walk out of the restaurant and you give them a wave. The group walks down the sidewalk before Wanda says something to Steve and turns around to come back.

She walks in the restaurant and over to your station. She gives you a loving kiss and says, “See you tonight my love!” before she runs back out the doors to the team who are just standing there chatting not even paying attention to their missing teammate.

You watch her with a grin on your face. Bill claps you on the back as you go to the cupboard to grab a bottle of wine. Bill stands at the counter, and you decide to whip up some brownies for dinner tonight.

The time passes, the servers finish cleaning up and all of your staff besides Bill leaves. Your brownies are in the oven, and you go to the freezer to get your vanilla ice cream. When you come back you see Bill talking to Wanda by the counter.

You gently put the ice cream on the counter and sneak up behind Wanda to wrap her in a hug and kiss her cheek.

“Hi beautiful.” You say. Bill watches both of you with curious eyes.

“Hello my love.” She says back as she wraps her arms around your waist.

“Bill this is Wanda, Wanda this is Bill. He’s second in command here and my best friend since high school.” You tell her. She looks at you while your speaking loving the way you look after work.

“Thanks y/n! I already introduced myself but Wanda it’s so nice meeting you!” Bill says bringing the wine glass up to his lips. “Wanda was just telling me about the Airport battle in Germany.” Bill loved hearing about the Avengers so the fact that you were dating one was a fanboy moment for him.

As they continued to talk about numerous battles that the Avengers have fought and won, you felt yourself becoming more and more anxious. Bill talked you down earlier thinking about Wanda getting hurt but the more they talked about battles, the harder it was to be ok. Thinking about Wanda being hurt and not being able to be with you left you feeling lost. She was a very powerful person and probably a target for many people. What if she was seriously hurt? What if she had to go away for months? What if she died? The thoughts kept swarming your head and they wouldn’t stop.

You stayed silent for most of the conversation as you put the brownies on plates with ice cream on top for them to eat. You stayed by your station while they were by the counter talking. Zoning out in your thoughts you missed when Bill informed you both that he had to leave.

“Well, I have to head on out! Lots to do tonight before tomorrow. Wanda it was so nice meeting you though!” Bill says hugging Wanda and coming around to shake your hand. You stare at it for a second before shaking it.

“Bill it was so nice meeting you!” Wanda says eyeing you curiously because of your behavior. He grabs his things and walks out the back door with one last wave.

“How was your day babe?” She asks you once Bill leaves. You don’t know why but you start to feel very anxious being with her alone tonight. All of the words Natasha and Bill said still running through your mind. It’s like your brain is running a marathon and you can’t stop it.

“It was good.” You give your shortest reply to the question. It was starting to get difficult to breath or focus on anything.

“Are you ok?” she has concern clear on her face. You feel your chest tighten up more when you look at her. You see her face littered with cuts and bruises and you freeze. You don’t know how to help her or make the cuts better. She can tell something is wrong and she isn’t sure what to do.

“Y/n, honey, I’m here ok. Whatever you need.” She says as she walks towards you realizing that you are not ok. The closer she gets you can see the cuts becoming more prominent on her face and you start to hyperventilate.

“Hold me please?” You can’t even look at her as you ask but you feel arms wrap around you. The weight on your chest is heavy and you try and calm down but it’s difficult. Wanda runs her hands up and down your back as she tries to soothe you.

“It’s ok I’m here.” She reassures you. After ten minutes you feel yourself start to calm down. You know exactly why you feel this way, but it is hard for you to communicate it to her tonight. You have a troubled past that doesn’t reach the light too often. She continues to hold you until you pull away. You put a mask back on as you pretend that you are fine.

“Here let me clean up these plates.” You grab the dirty dishes and put them in the sink choosing to ignore what just happened. You do not want to dwell on it, and you know Wanda is going to ask questions.

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m here for you I’ll listen.” Wanda asks you to try to figure out your sudden outburst. You wish you could put into words what was happening, but you didn’t want to scare her away.

“Can we just forget about that please?” you walk towards her grabbing her hands. She can see that you aren’t going to budge so she agrees. You turn off the lights in the restaurant before the both of head to your loft. You get ready for bed, as does Wanda and when she comes out of the bathroom, she is quick to cuddle into your arms.

“Do you want to watch some TV?” you ask her, and you just feel her nod against your chest. You put on Modern Family, a mindless show.

“Hey y/n can we talk about something.” Wanda works up the courage to bring up a tough subject.

“Of course, my love.” She sits up so she can look at you while talking.

“Y/N, I know we haven’t really talked about it but I’m an avenger. My job is taxing and it’s constant. And I never know what is going to happen.” You could tell this conversation was hard for her to say, it was hard for her to hear but in this moment, you forget about all your worries as best you can to focus on her. You push all your unsaid feelings aside so you could try and help her through this. “If you can’t… if that isn’t ok you know the… the… unknown I understand.” She says tears welling up in her eyes. This broke you because although you have known this girl for 6 months you would do anything for her.

“I love you.” You reassure her, cupping her face in your hands. “I’m not going anywhere don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” she’s unsure at your words.

“Wanda, I have not been this sure of anything else in my life.” And it’s true. You don’t want to go anywhere, the part you’re not telling her is that you don’t want her to go anywhere either. You don’t want other people to have to need her like you do. She brightens every night when she comes to see you, and you don’t want to lose her.

You share a sweet kiss before she snuggles into you again. “Can I ask another question?”

You chuckle before you reply, “You can ask me as many questions as you want whenever you want.”

“What did Natasha say to you?” You tense up a bit, your anxiety bubbling in your body again as the question is heading back to the subject you just tried to shut down.

“Just saying she knew who I was and what we were.” You tell her half the truth hoping she didn’t feel you go stiff under her.

“Haha yeah I kind of told her about us today.” She chuckles nervously.

“That’s quite alright. I mean I’m happy to tell everyone I know I’m dating you.” You reassure her. “You are amazing. The way you care about people, the way you love the team, you’re not too bad of a cook either.” You start to sit up and she falls underneath of you. You are quick to climb on top of her, so your face is mere inches from her. “You are stunning, I could get lost in your eyes for forever. And you make me the happiest person I have ever been.” You look into her eyes, so she knows you mean every word.

Tears start to form in her eyes as she is overcome with emotion. She reaches up to your face keeping your eye contact. “You make me the happiest person I have ever been too. I am so lucky to have you to brighten up my days. After everything that I’ve been through with my family, with being experimented on, with losing my brother, with everything that happened between me and the avengers at first, I never thought I would feel this way about anyone.” You felt butterflies swirl in your stomach as you leaned down to kiss her.

“Are you sleepy?” You ask her hoping she said no. You wanted to spend the night wrapped up in each other’s arms.

“Not particularly. Are you?”  Her eyes grew a few shades darker as she looked in your eyes.

“Yeah, I’m super tired.” You say in a sarcastic tone while you roll your eyes. She squints her eyes at you.

“You better not be.” She expertly flipped you both over, so she was now on top of you. She leaned down to pepper your face in. Needless to say, you both end up barely getting sleep.

Taglist:

@b0mbdotc0m @yeetus-thyself @ineedafinghug @madamevirgo @when-wolves-howl @musicinourlips

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